Black Flames Dance In The Wind: Rise of Naruto
by DevilKeys Writing
Summary: A storm is brewing. Casting a black shadow over the world, threatening to incinerate it, and scatter its ashes to the winds. Humanity's only hope lies with a young boy. A boy sacrificed for their protection, yet condemned to a life of hatred and abuse. Will the Pariah become the Savior? Or will mankind be cast into oblivion by a Monster of their own creation?
1. It Begins

Hello, everyone! The Naruto story I've been talking about recently is finally here!

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, or any material from other franchises that will be mixed into this story, nor am I affiliated with the people who do. However, I do claim ownership of all original characters, techniques and concepts, unless they were supplied by another party. In which case, the material will be specified and credit will be given to the right people.

I've put lines from some of my favorite movies and video games into this story, so see if you can find them. I've also recreated scenes from some of those same movies/games, so look out for those as well.

Since some people have taken offense to things that happen later in the story, I feel I should warn any future readers that may find later material to be...reprehensible.

**WARNING: The following story contains very graphic depictions of violence and sexual intercourse, implications/mentionings of rape, strong language, and scenarios some may find highly disturbing. **

**This is an example of what I like to call "Uncensored Fanfiction". No holds are barred, no punches are pulled, happy endings are rare, and NO ONE is safe. I'll be the first to admit that this style isn't for everyone, so if you don't like this type of thing, STOP READING NOW. The first few chapters aren't that bad in terms of content, but it doesn't stay that way.**

Another, less important warning is the fact that this fic will be massively AU. I've tried to keep most established characters as they are in canon, with natural changes based on how I think they would react to the new scenarios I'll be introducing, original characters and established characters that I have made drastic changes to. But for some, canon personas just didn't work.

So, sticklers for canon, you might want to look elsewhere right about now.

Also, there WILL be a bit of "character bashing". However, it won't be bashing just for the sake of doing it or because I don't like the character(s). The characters that will be bashed are OOC, with in-canon traits are exaggerated to varying degrees for effect. And, most importantly, they have different histories than they do in-canon. So keep that in mind if/when you feel the need to flame me for putting your favorite character(s) through the wringer.

XX

**Edit: 6/20/12**

Looking back at the earlier chapters of this story, I noticed that they need a lot of work. Vague descriptions, unnatural/unnecessary dialogue, etc. Unfortunately, I've found that if I go through all of them and make the changes that I want, I'll probably be working on it for months. Seriously, I thought this would be a fairly simple, cut and dry deal. But I ended up spending nearly three weeks on this first chapter alone, and nearly DOUBLED the word-count. So, for the rest of the chapters, I'll just be doing the bare basics, going back and correcting technical errors, like spelling and grammar and all that.

That's not to say I won't eventually get around to editing the rest of the chapters, but it certainly won't be anytime soon. So, to the people picking up Black Flames Dance In The Wind: Rise of Naruto for the first time, please just bare with these early chapters. Everything gets better as you go along.

XX

Now that, that's out of the way, on with the story!

XXXX

The Sandaime Hokage and his two most trusted ANBU, Kakashi Hatake and Mitara Hagashi, stood in front of a one-way window looking into the purely white room that held a six year old Naruto Uzumaki, container of the Kyuubi no Kitsune. Sarutobi waited patiently for the doctors to return with the results from the tests that were done on the young child after he was brought in, barely alive. One doctor, in a standard white lab coat, came in with a clipboard.

"Well?" the Hokage said in a hopeful tone.

"I'm sorry Hokage-sama, if he was brought in sooner we may have been able to do something for him." Kakashi visibly tensed at this, but it went unnoticed by the others. "He's in a state of severe traumatization. Basically, his mind is broken. Shattered, if you will. He's fine physically, but psychologically, he'll never be the same again...I'm sorry."

Sarutobi sighed heavily. "I understand...Thank you."

The doctor bowed and left. Sarutobi and the ANBU turned back to the boy. He was now looking directly at them, as though he could see through the mirror on his side. The men stared back into the boy's dead eyes, eyes completely devoid of life, like a walking corpse. It was like he wasn't staring _at_ them, but _through_ them, into their very souls. If it weren't for their training the men would have cringed at the sight.

Sarutobi sighed again. "I suppose it was only a matter of time, the boy has been through too much." 'I'm sorry...Arashi.'**(1)**

(Padded Holding Cell)

Naruto sat alone on the semi-comfortable bed, staring at the "mirror" on the other side of the room. He knew that there were people watching him from the other side of it. He couldn't see them or hear them, but he knew nonetheless. However, he was too tired, both physically and mentally, to care. So, he laid down on the bed he was sitting on and let his heavy eyelids drop and cover his soulless eyes. It was an eerie sight, to say the least. With his eyes having lost the spark of life they once held, it looked like Naruto was slipping quietly into the afterlife.

(Mindscape)

_Naruto opened his eyes to find himself in a wet, decrepit, sewer-like hallway. Leaking pipes hung from the ceiling over his head and the water on the floor came up to his knees. Thankfully, though it looked like a sewer, it didn't smell like one. _

_Naruto felt a powerful and malevolent presence further down, hidden in the darkness. But, oddly enough, his instincts weren't screaming at him to run from it. If anything, he felt drawn to it. He began walking towards it, hoping to maybe find a way out of the dungeon he had apparently been thrown into._

_After five minutes of walking, and seemingly getting nowhere, Naruto's patience was starting to wear thin. While anyone else would've started to panic at this point, if not earlier, this six-year-old was just annoyed. But he could feel the dark presence much better now; it radiated power, arrogance, killing intent, and rage. _

_Now, most people would've been hightailing it in the opposite direction at this point. But not Naruto. He continued onward, idly noting that the knee-high water offered barely any resistance at all. _

_'It's not like I've got anything to lose, right?' Naruto thought. Besides, what could...whatever was down here do to him that hadn't already been done?_

_Naruto suddenly found himself in front of a massive cage. The bars must have been over a hundred feet in height, but there was no lock on them, instead there was a piece of white paper with the kanji for "seal" on it in black. _

_**"Who dares disturb my rest?" **__a deep, rumbling voice boomed, slightly startling Naruto, but he didn't show it. _

_Two large, glowing, red eyes blinked into existence and stared down at him. _

_**"Oh, it's you. So, what brings my Jailer down here to my 'humble abode'?" **__the creature mocked._

_"...Who are you?"_

_**"Who am I?!" **__the beast snarled, revealing razor-sharp fangs, each larger than a full-grown man. __**"I am the great Kyuubi no Kitsune! Queen of all demons!" **__Kyuubi boasted._

_But Naruto paid no real attention to it besides the "Kyuubi" part, not at all interested in titles and such. There was a sudden flash and Kyuubi was illuminated in all her glory, her nine bushy tails twitching in agitation._

_"...Cute." Naruto said, then walked through the bars like they didn't exist._

_Kyuubi blinked, then blinked again. __**'Did this human just call ME "cute"?'**_

_**"I'll show you cute, brat! I'll-" **__Kyuubi stopped when she noticed that Naruto was no longer in front of her. __**"What the-?" **__she stopped again when she felt something touch one of her stationary tails._

_Naruto had walked over and started to pet one of Kyuubi's tails, as if it were some kind of giant fluffy rabbit. _

_Kyuubi was dumbfounded. No mortal had even touched her before, ever. Given, it was normally because they would be vaporized by her potent youki before they got close enough. But still, most weren't brave, or stupid, enough to go towards her when she was spotted._

_**"What do you think you're doing, human?" **__Kyuubi hissed in barely controlled rage._

_Naruto just looked at her with his cold, dead eyes, almost making her cringe. "I like your fur, it's very soft." he said with no hint of emotion._

_Kyuubi slightly blushed, but her red fur covered it. __**"Um...thanks, I guess...So, why are you here again?" **__Kyuubi now just wanted the kid to leave, he was...affecting her in strange ways. Maternal instincts that she thought she had lost long ago were resurfacing._

_Naruto seemed puzzled for a moment. "Where exactly is 'here'?" _

_Kyuubi sweatdropped lightly. __**"...We're currently inside your mind. You're asleep right now."**_

_"Oh." Naruto looked around. "It seems kind of empty."_

_Kyuubi resisted to urge to snicker. __**"That's because we're in the seal."**_

_"Seal?"_

_**"Yes, the seal on your stomach that traps me inside of you for all eternity." **_the giant fox said somewhat mockingly._** "It was placed on you by the Yondaime Hokage after you were born."**_

_"Yondaime? I thought he-" Naruto was cut off by Kyuubi's snort._

_**"Killed me? Hah! Like some puny huma**__**n could ever kill a Bijū**__**, let alone the most powerful of them all!" **_

_Naruto just stared at the giant fox. "You have a massive ego, you know that?" he said flatly._

_**"Well, when you're as awesome as I am, that tends to happen." **__Kyuubi decided that she liked the kid that was in her cage with her. She had almost forgotten what it was like to have a conversation with someone who didn't stutter and tremble in sheer terror, or speak to her in an ultra-formal manner for fear of pissing her off. __**'He's only the second human I've ever met who doesn't fear me. Like father, like son, I suppose.'**_

_Naruto sat down, propping himself up on the tail he was petting. "So, you're the reason everyone hates me so much...Well, at least I know what the whole 'demon spawn' thing is about." a look of sadness flashed across his features for a second._

_Kyuubi snorted. __**"Well, you finally know. What now? Are you going to go on one of those 'woe was me' rants that you humans are so fond of?"**_

_"No." Naruto instantly replied._

_Kyuubi just blinked. __**"What? Why not?" **_in her experience, humans who would pass up a chance to rant and rave about the unfairness of life were few and far between.

_"Because, it's not going to change anything. It's not going to make you go away, and it's not going to make my life any easier."_

_**'Looks like we're going to get along just fine.' **__Kyuubi mentally chuckled. __**"Well, Kit, congratulations." **_

_Naruto looked puzzled. "Hm? For what?"_

_**"You've officially gained my respect. That makes you part of an elite list that only includes one other human." **__Kyuubi laid down with her chin on her forepaws._

_"Who?"_

_**"The Yondaime Hokage." **__Kyuubi replied as she looked into Naruto's eyes. She couldn't help but feel sorry for him. __**'Eyes like that shouldn't belong to a child that young.'**__ she mentally sighed._

_Naruto yawned and stood. "Well, I guess I should go. I hope I wasn't too much of a bother." he bowed to her and began to leave._

_Naruto was stopped by one of Kyuubi's tails scooping him up and depositing him next to her. _

_**"Don't worry about it, you can stay. Besides, it's not often I get company." **__Kyuubi said._

_Naruto shrugged, then cuddled up to the huge fox, enjoying the feeling of her fur. Kyuubi blushed again._

_**'If only the others could see me now. How would I look? ME, the Queen of Kitsune and Ruler of Demons, having a human child cuddling up to me. I'd be the laughing-stock of the Underworld.'**__ Kyuubi sighed, she really didn't mind having Naruto around._

_Kyuubi used one of her tails as a blanket for the child. "Thank you, Kyuubi-hime." Kyuubi almost choked. Even her former mate had never called her that, or any other "pet-name", as he was one of the ultra-formal types._

_She just nodded in response. Just before Naruto fell asleep, Kyuubi spoke up. __**"Listen, Kit...For what it's worth...I'm sorry."**_

_Naruto just looked up at her. "What's done is done. We can't change the past, all we can do is try to shape our future." he said, remembering something his Ojii-san had told him a few weeks ago. "Goodnight, Kyuubi-hime." and with that Naruto fell into a deep slumber._

_Kyuubi smiled. __**"Goodnight...Naruto."**_

(Six Years Later)

Naruto sat in the back of the classroom in his own little corner. He basically had half a row all to himself, as no one wanted to sit next to him.

To some, he was just creepy. To others, he was downright terrifying. But to all, he was an unknown. He rarely spoke, and when he did it was never about himself. Combined with his mask and cloak, he was the definition of an enigma to his peers. His name sounded familiar to some, but, from what they could remember, that name was attached to a small, blonde-haired child that their parents told them to stay away from. But that kid and their classmate couldn't have been one and the same.

They remembered a friendly, borderline ADHD little boy, whose bright blue eyes were outshined only by his exuberant grin. That child was eager to please, and seemed to love nothing more than acknowledgement and interaction. But this "Naruto"? When asked to introduce himself, his exact words were: "My name is Uzumaki Naruto, and you need only know one thing about me: you leave me alone, and I'll leave you alone."

No, the fact that they shared a name and hair color had to be a coincidence. Right?

For his part, Naruto couldn't have cared less about what his peers thought of him. Most of them bullied and tormented him years back. Some at the request of their parents, and others because it was "trendy". But none of that mattered now. None of them mattered now.

As was his custom, Naruto surveyed the classroom, silently evaluating each and every one of his potential "teammates". Just like every other day, he saw nothing of interest in any of them. Though some were orders of magnitude worse than others, they were all weak and naive, as far as Naruto was concerned. This made the arrogance displayed by some of them all the more irritating/amusing.

Take the Inuzuka, for example. Yes, he was heir to one of the more prominent clans in Konoha. Yes, he had the third best overall scores in the class. The problem was that he seemed to have trouble grasping things like context. In the context of the Ninja Academy, Kiba Inuzuka showed great promise. What Kiba didn't understand was that in the real world, academy scores count for nothing. Especially since the academy's current standards were abysmal.

A solid "A" in Taijutsu...Against a Chūnin who, by default, was holding back.

An "A-" in weapon proficiency and accuracy...Against static targets.

A "B+" in Ninjutsu...For pulling off a couple of supplementary E-Class techniques, and some clan techniques that all Inuzuka were taught before they even entered the academy.

But context meant nothing to Kiba. The boy walked around with his nose in the air, acting like he was Kami's gift to shinobi.

Apparently, the Inuzuka felt Naruto's eyes on him, because he turned around in his seat and looked at the people behind him. It didn't take long for him to lock onto the one he called "Creepshow", though of course not to his face. And it didn't take long for Kiba to get creeped out.

That mask, white as porcelain. Its smooth surface flawless, save for the three kanji carved into it. Darkness on the forehead, Fire on the right cheek, and Wind on the left cheek. Looking into the "eyes" of that mask, Kiba wasn't the first to be reminded of a shark. They were black, empty, dead. They appeared to stare at everything and nothing, all at once. Mindless and unfocused. But what you saw from the outside was only a cover; a protective layer. And behind that barrier lay the creature's true, terrifying nature. A killing machine unrivaled by anything else in nature; the perfect predator.

That cloak, black as pitch. Wrapped around him in such a way that it completely obscured his form, making him look like some strange, semi-amorphous _thing_, coughed up from a pit of pure evil. Though it covered even his feet for the most part, he moved around with ease, never tripping or stumbling over it. Though it appeared somewhat heavy, even the slightest breeze, like the one coming in from the classroom's open windows, would cause it to flutter and ripple. At times, it looked like the garment itself was alive. Or worse, it gave the appearance of unnatural, inhuman movement inside. To this day, Ino Yamanaka swore that she had seen a tentacle come out from underneath it.

"PIPE DOWN YOU LITTLE BRATS!" came a sudden bellowing roar from the primary class instructor, Iruka Umino, as he entered the room.

Thoroughly startled, Kiba let out a high-pitched yelp and literally jumped out of his seat, over the person to his immediate left, and into Ino's lap.

"What the hell?! GET OFF ME, YOU SMELL LIKE A DOGHOUSE!" the platinum-blonde girl shrieked, decking Kiba right in the cheek and sending him tumbling over the table and onto a male student in the row ahead, who also proceeded to yell out his displeasure.

'Why must everyone be so loud?' Naruto wondered.

It was pretty much the same thing everyday. The children would be chatting away, Iruka would yell, they'd all scream in fright. There were a few exceptions, but in general the class was a literal pain in Naruto's ears. How he'd managed to attend for six straight years without tearing someone's larynx out, even he didn't know.

As Iruka took his place behind the teacher's podium at the front of the class, Naruto immediately stopped paying attention. The last parts of the graduation exam were to be held tomorrow, meaning that today would be nothing but a refresher class to make sure there were no excuses for not passing.

'Hey, Kyuubi-hime, are you awake?'

**"Yeah, and stop calling me 'Princess'! I'm a Queen, thank you very much."**

Naruto could almost imagine the fox inside him pouting like a child. 'What would you prefer, then?'

**"Queen Kyuubi, The Magnificent." **the demoness said immediately, her tone dead-serious.

'...'

**"You're right, it still doesn't do my greatness justice. How about, 'Queen of All That is Awesome'?"**

'...'

**"Hm, this is harder than I thought it would be. Oh well, the burden of being me. We might have to create a new word just to describe the sheer magnitude of my incredible...ness...Well, it's a start." **Kyuubi muttered, as if she had forgotten that she was talking out loud.

Now, in reality she wasn't nearly so arrogant. But she knew Naruto better than anyone, and if there was one thing that truly got on the boy's nerves nowadays, it was hearing someone brag about themselves. And it was especially irritating when the person bragging had every right to do so.

'As much as I love listening to you stroke your ego, I believe Umino-sensei is about to call on me.' Naruto closed off his mind link with his tenant just as the scarred Chūnin pointed at him.

"Mr. Uzumaki, would you mind giving us a demonstration of the concept?" Iruka smirked. He had a good one this time. It was one thing to show you were paying attention by repeating what was said, but quite another to physically demonstrate the lesson. Hopefully this would finally trip up the unflappable preteen, so Iruka could finally cross that last name off the list of students who got away with slacking off in his class.

Naruto sighed and got out of his seat. Yet another classroom routine that had been going for years. Iruka would catch Naruto not paying attention, then call him out in an attempt to embarrass the masked boy in front of the class. He did it to every student he caught slacking off, so one could hardly say he was picking on Naruto out of spite. The masked boy was simply the most frequent and blatant culprits, behind the Nara of course.

He walked to the front of the classroom and turned to face the students. But not before sending a pointed stare at both Iruka and the other instructor, Mizuki. Naruto took out a kunai, giving the class a rare glimpse of the ANBU-like attire he wore underneath, infused it with some of his chakra and quickly scanned the class room. Who would he make a fool out of today? Kiba was out, as he'd already been "gotten", albeit unintentionally. The Uchiha, perhaps? No, he hadn't done anything to warrant public humiliation. Yet.

Then Naruto's keen ears picked up something that made his decision for him.

"Hey, I don't see any tentacles, Ino-pig." Sakura Haruno whispered as leaned closer to her "rival".

"Well of course he's not gonna show them to everyone, you idiot!" Ino hissed back. "Use your brain, or is that gigantic forehead purely for show?"

"Let's compare test scores and find out." Sakura smirked.

"Whatever. I know what I saw, Billboard Brow, and I saw a freaking tentacle!" Ino huffed as she turned away.

Sakura snickered quietly, knowing she had won that round.

'Target acquired.' Naruto thought. He then tossed it to his left with a casual flick of his wrist.

For the first six feet, it flew as anyone would expect. But the dagger soon veered off to the right, curving around in a smooth arc to make a complete U-turn in midair. As it passed over their heads, the students instinctively ducked, and many "man-points" were lost when some of the boys let out high-pitched screams. But none screamed louder than Ino when the kunai took a dive directly towards her.

Fortunately, Iruka was very quick, even for a Chūnin, and managed to catch the weapon before it embedded itself in the young girl's skull.

"NARUTO!" Iruka screamed in outrage. He had heard Ino's tentacle comment just as well as Naruto, but that kind of reaction was inexcusable!

The black-clad boy was completely unfazed. "You asked me to demonstrate, and I did. The kunai was locked onto Yamanaka-san's chakra signature, and went for her even though I threw it in a different direction." Naruto said, his tone flat and uncaring. "I do not see what the problem is."

"You don't see...You just tried to MURDER a classmate! A Clan heir! In front of twenty-five witnesses, including two Chūnin Instructors!"

Iruka would admit that he had disliked Naruto from the moment he'd seen the boy's name on the class roster. But as the years passed and he kept true to his statement of "You leave me alone, and I'll leave you alone", the Chūnin had changed his opinions. The kid had been through hell, and seemed like he just wanted to get through the day without being bothered. Sure he sent a couple students to the hospital every now and then, but they were always the ones to initiate the conflict. But there was no justifying this latest act as anything but blatantly malicious. Ino had never done anything to Naruto; she was too afraid to even get near him. More often than not, she even went out of her way to avoid talking about him, whether he was in the same room or not.

"No, I did not." was Naruto's simple reply.

"You threw a weapon right at her!"

"It wasn't a weapon."

"Alright, that does it, I'm sick of your games! You wanna play dumb? Fine. We'll see what the Hokage has to say about th...?" it was then that Iruka noticed something odd about the kunai he had snatched out of the air. At first glance, it looked normal, and had the right weight and balance. But upon closer inspection, it was plain to see that it wasn't made out of steel. "Metal core for accurate weight and balance, hard rubber outer shell, foam tip...It's a fake." more specifically, one of the higher-end training kunai that could be bought at any of Konoha's weapon shops.

'Well...This is embarrassing...' Iruka thought, feeling a blush on his cheeks.

"Did you think I would throw a real kunai at Yamanaka-san?" Naruto scoffed lightly. "Her voice may irritate me, but that's hardly a valid reason for termination."

"...It's nice to see you were paying attention, Mr. Uzumaki. You may return to your seat." Iruka said as he handed the fake kunai back to its owner.

Naruto nodded and made his way back up the stairs. As he passed Ino's row, he couldn't help but smirk when he saw her hunker down in her seat in an apparent attempt to avoid being noticed.

The smirk disappeared when he noticed the Uchiha glaring at him. Turning his head, Naruto proceeded to have a little staredown with the black-haired boy.

Everyone took notice, expecting a fight to break out at any second. Even the two Instructors tensed, preparing to break it up before they could do too much damage, either to each other or to the classroom itself.

"Feh." Sasuke muttered as he turned back to his window gazing.

There was no reason to get angry or insecure. He knew the "chakra-seeker" trick, too, though he'd admit that his weapons made much wider turns, and tended to lose a bit of speed in doing so.

Naruto continued back to his seat, then re-opened his link with Kyuubi. He didn't have to wait long for her to speak up.

**"And you say you don't like to show off." **She giggled.

'I don't. But I'm not going to back down when the Instructor calls me out.' Naruto replied.

**"I wouldn't expect you to. But that was above and beyond the call of duty."**

'I suppose. So, Kyuubi-sensei, what's on the training schedule for today?' Naruto my have been emotionally-inept, but he was still a sucker for new techniques.

Kyuubi sighed. **"Will you make up your mind? Is it 'Kyuubi-sensei', 'Kyuubi-hime', 'Kyuubi-sama', or 'Kyuu-chan'?! This is getting confusing."**

'Have you decided on another title?'

**"Oh! Right, um…How 'bout 'Kyuubi the Great'? Or maybe 'Kyuubi the Conqueror?"**

Naruto sweatdropped lightly. 'Kyuubi-sensei it is.'

**"You need to learn how to lighten up a little."**

'I'll leave that to people like Inuzuka-san. I'd rather be a proper shinobi.'

**"Ooh, burn." **Kyuubi snickered. **"I'm going to work out the lesson plan for the day, give me a few minutes."**

Naruto cut off the link and decided to listen to the last part of Iruka's lesson.

"Well, we've taught you all we could, and you've all grown immensely." The brown-haired man smiled. "This class is the best we've had in years, and I'm sure you'll all make fine shinobi and kunoichi." 'Although some of you have personality issues.' Iruka added in his mind, looking at Shino, Sasuke and Naruto.

The masked soon-to-be Genin barely withheld a derisive snort. Iruka was lying through his teeth, and he knew it. How the hell could anyone become a "fine shinobi/kunoichi" when all they had been taught thus far was a bunch of useless trivia and the most basic of techniques? Out of all twenty-four students in the class, maybe five of them would ever make something of themselves. And with the exception of Naruto, they were all from prominent clans, from which they could receive all the training they really needed.

"As most of you know, the final portion of the graduation exam is tomorrow, and after that you'll all be assigned to your teams. I wish you all the best of luck."

"Hah! I don't need luck! I'll ace this exam!" boasted Kiba.

'He says that like it's an accomplishment.' Naruto thought. He had half a mind to sabotage the class clown/loudmouth's test, if only to knock him down about a dozen pegs or so. 'I'd probably be doing him a favor. That kind of arrogance would get him killed pretty quickly, especially when he doesn't have the power or skill to back it up.'

While Naruto had the decency to keep his remarks to himself, Sasuke wasn't so tactful. He let out a scoff that he knew Kiba would hear.

"You got something to say, Uchiha?" the feral boy growled, baring the elongated canine teeth that were one of many Inuzuka trademarks.

"Nothing I haven't said to you before, Inuzuka." Sasuke replied flippantly, not even bothering to look at the person he was addressing.

"Enough, both of you." Iruka commanded. "If you want to be petty and act like little children, that's your business. But there will be no unsanctioned fighting on school grounds. Understood?"

Kiba and Sasuke shared one last glare, flashing each other a clear message, then nodded to their Instructor.

There were several disappointed sighs from the other students as they were once again deprived of a spectacle. With nothing else of interest, they all began to filter out of the room. Now normally Naruto would've used the Body Flicker to leave the room. But he felt that he had drawn enough attention to himself for one day, and decided to leave in a more "normal" fashion.

Unfortunately, Iruka noticed this and took the opportunity to do something he'd wanted to do for a while.

"Naruto, a moment please?"

Naruto halted mid-step, as did the other students who had heard. The only time Iruka ever called him by his first name was when he was angry. So naturally, the others figured the Instructor was still steamed about the incident with Ino. And if it's one thing kids can't resist, it's the chance to see one of their peers get in trouble.

But Naruto had no desire for an audience, and a single glance, combined with a small pulse of killing intent, sent them all scurrying away.

"What do you want, Iruka-sensei?" Naruto asked.

Iruka mentally flinched. Though his tone didn't give anything away, he could _feel_ that the boy was annoyed. And worse, now that he had Naruto alone, he had no idea what to say to him. First, he needed something to break the ice.

"Will you be showing up to the exam tomorrow?" Iruka asked, remembering that Naruto had been a no-show for the last graduation exam.

Naruto remained silent at first. This was shaping up to be an even greater waste of time than he'd predicted. But he really didn't have anything to do until Kyuubi got back to him, so he decided there wasn't any harm in humoring the scarred man.

"Certainly. I will not let any would-be assassins hold me back again."

"What assassins?"

"The ones hell bent on keeping me from becoming a Genin last year. They followed me until the exams were through, blasting me with killing intent when I got too close to the academy. I'm surprised you couldn't feel them." Naruto could have gotten by them if he had really wanted to. But back then he'd felt that it would've been more trouble than it was worth.

"I-I'm sorry...I didn't know." Iruka lowered his head in shame, on both a personal and professional level.

"Why? You had nothing to do with it." Naruto found it quite irksome when people apologized for no reason.

"Sorry" was like the go-to response when a person didn't know what else to say. And in Naruto's view, if you didn't know what to say, then it was best to just keep quiet.

Iruka felt a shiver go up his spine. 'And I thought talking to Shino was uncomfortable.' he thought. "Still, I really should apologize…If only for not being as concerned about your absence as I should have."

The man was disgusted with himself when he remembered just how unconcerned he had been. Were he anyone else, Naruto would've been the ideal student. He was always in class, always on time, did as he was told and never talked back. With any other student possessing those qualities, not showing up for the graduation exams would have warranted a home visit. But the thought had never even crossed Iruka's mind.

"Again, you had nothing to do with it, so you have nothing to apologize for. Will that be all?" when Iruka didn't answer immediately, Naruto gave a slight nod, turned on his heel and started towards the door.

'Well, it's worth a shot.' the Chūnin thought. "Wait, Naruto."

Naruto stopped and let out a barely audible sigh. "What is it now, Iruka-sensei?"

"Would you…Would you like to go get some ramen?" Iruka asked.

"I have somewhere to be at the moment…And I don't like ramen." though he didn't let it show, the odd request had thrown Naruto for a bit of a loop. So, before the Instructor could say anything else, Naruto vanished in a puff of black smoke.

Iruka sighed heavily. He wasn't the least bit surprised; not by the response, and not by the fact that the someone so young could use the Body Flicker technique. "Well, at least I tried."

(Elsewhere)

Naruto reappeared in the middle of a clearing just outside of the village walls. His own private training ground.

'So, Kyuubi-sensei, what will I be learning?' Naruto opened the link.

**"What did I tell you earlier?" **Kyuubi tried to sound annoyed.

'You're teaching me something, so I call you "sensei".' Naruto replied.

Seeing no flaws in his logic, Kyuubi went right to business. **"Alright, Kit, since you've got Fire down pat, we're going to focus on the Wind element for now. You've got the basics, so let's start with some more advanced techniques."**

At this point, Naruto was absolutely giddy. Or at least the closest approximation to it that could apply to him.

**"The first one is the Air Cutter technique. In principle, it's similar to the Kaze no Yaiba, in that you use your chakra to compress the air into an incredibly thin and sharp blade. But instead of hurling it at a target, you use the blade as an extension of your arm for close quarters combat. Also like Kaze no Yaiba, it can be used without handseals, but since you're new to the technique, we'll do it the traditional way for now." **

Kyuubi sent Naruto the sequence of seals, which he performed flawlessly. A second later, his right arm was encased in chakra and compressed air from the elbow down. Inspecting the new "weapon", Naruto found that it took the form of a vaguely cone-shaped distortion around his arm, extending out two feet beyond his fingertips. It also gave off a not-insignificant amount of noise, in the form of a low-pitched hum, akin to the sound of a strong breeze.

**"Good, good. With practice, you'll be able to use the bare minimums of air and chakra, making the blade virtually undetectable by sight or sound. But you can start on that later. For now, let's get the rest of these down. The next is the Gufuu Jiten**(2)**. The first step is sort of like the reverse of the tree-climbing exercise. You want to pump chakra into your feet in order to break traction with the ground, then spin as fast as you can. As you do this, use your chakra to 'grab' the air and 'pull' it with you, wrapping it around you. Keep picking up speed and grabbing more air, and eventually you'll create a miniature tornado around yourself. Excellent for deflecting projectiles, and few things are more entertaining than seeing humans get tossed around like ragdolls." **Kyuubi finished with a snicker.

Though he used the correct seals, Naruto failed the first three tries. He ended up getting sick before he could built up enough rotational speed. But on the fourth, he sucked it up and powered through the nausea. The end result as a vortex of wind the size of a large dust devil, but packing the force of an EF3 tornado.

With the technique completed, Naruto gradually brought himself to a halt. He then calmly walked over to a row of small bushes at the Eastern edge of the clearing, removed his mask and promptly expelled the contents of his stomach all over the foliage.

It took a good ten minutes for Kyuubi to stop laughing.

'You knew that was going to happen.' Naruto accused.

"**It happens to everyone at least once." **Kyuubi replied.

'Even you?'

"**Pffft, no, of course not!" **the Queen of Demons chortled. **"I was a bit dizzy the first time, but I didn't hurl."**

'Right…Next technique, please.'

"**Sure. I've got a few more Wind techniques that should prove useful."**

While he was all for more techniques, of any kind, right now Naruto had something else in mind.

'Sensei…I feel I'm ready to learn some Darkness techniques now.'

Kyuubi thought for a minute. **'Damn. I really wanted to put this off a bit longer…But if he thinks he's ready, I'll start him off slow.' "Very well, Kit, I suppose you've got a good enough grasp of the element and how to control it. The problem is the nature of Darkness itself. Its ability to corrupt and control is part of what makes it so useful, but that's also what makes it the most dangerous element to its wielder."**

'…You're saying that it will try to "corrupt" me?'

"**Exactly. I've told you before that elemental affinities affect you physically from the moment you're born. Those with Fire affinities have naturally high body temperatures, for example. But affinities also affect your mind. Those with Fire affinities are usually quick to anger. Wind affinities are often free-spirited and restless. Water affinities tend to 'go with the flow' and try to take the path of least resistance whenever possible. But with Darkness, it's different. It brings out the worst in you; your 'inner darkness', so to speak. It thrives on negative emotions, and it will use them against you. It will try to trick and manipulate you, and .**

**This is why your current state is ideal for starting down the path to elemental mastery. Being emotionally stunted as you are, there isn't much for the Darkness to latch on to. This gives you a head start, so to speak, and may allow you to master the element before it's able to influence you at all." **

'And you said I needed to lighten up.' Naruto teased.

"**Hey, a bit of positivity isn't a problem. It's negative emotions that the element feeds on."**

'You almost make it sound like it's alive.'

"**It kinda is, along with all the other elements. Remember what I told you about how elemental affinities are decided and where they come from?"**

'Oh, right, the Boss Spirits.' Naruto nodded in understanding.

According to Kyuubi, every element had a "Boss Spirit"; a sentient physical manifestation of the element itself. She had never told him exactly how they came to be, but they were the reason for elemental affinities.

**"Anyway, onto the Darkness training. Look down at your shadow to begin with the first technique."**

Naruto did as instructed.

**"Alright, now concentrate on it. Send out some chakra, and think of a doorway."**

Naruto complied and watched curiously as his shadow reshaped itself to become a perfect circle around his feet. He had to resist the urge to jump away as the shadow became completely black, looking like a bottomless hole in the ground beneath him. But he was still on solid ground, so he stayed put. Besides, it was his shadow; if he moved, it would just move with him.

**"Now, think of the place you want to go. A place with plenty of shadows, and close to where you are now."**

Naruto looked over to the largest tree on the Western side of the clearing. It was a good hundred yards away, and was casting a suitably huge shadow in the afternoon sun.

**"Now picture yourself walking through the doorway you made earlier, and coming out at your destination on the other side. It will feel very weird the first couple of times, like the sense of vertigo in an elevator times ten, but you'll get the hang of it."**

Naruto envisioned himself walking through the doorway and stepping out near the tree. He felt the ground beneath him disappear and be replaced with something not quite solid. Then he felt himself beginning to sink. Once he felt his head go under he had to resist the urge to open his eyes and see where he was. He had a feeling that whatever he saw would break his concentration. And the last thing he wanted was to be trapped in…wherever the hell he was now.

Soon, he felt himself start to rise again. True to Kyuubi's words, it felt like being in an elevator when it came to a stop on a designated floor. He felt his head break the surface back into the "normal world", and noticed a marked difference that he hadn't really paid attention to on the way down. Down there, everything was…off. He had smelled something that resembled the smells of nature, but they weren't exactly right. If he had to put a word to it, Naruto would say it smelled "artificial". Like something trying to imitate the earth, grass and trees, but not getting it quite right. Even the air itself gave off the same vibe. It felt similar and it was still breathable, but it wasn't really air.

Naruto decided not to dwell on it as he felt the return to solid ground and sure footing. He opened his eyes and stared at the tree just five feet in front of him. The same tree that had been about three-hundred feet away just a few seconds ago.

"Whoa." was all he could say.

**"'Whoa' indeed. That is called the 'Shadow Walk' technique, just about the most basic in the Darkness arsenal. So simple, there aren't even handseals for it. Now, beyond being a means from point A to point B, the Shadow Walk also serves as a ride to the Shadow Realm. Now I don't know whole lot about it, but I do know that it's the home of the Darkness Boss Spirit. And time passes faster there than it does here, though I'm not sure by how much. But back to the technique. You should practice the Shadow Walk until requires no concentration, like the Kawarimi or Body Flicker. Just mold the chakra, think of where you want to go, and go.**

**Now admittedly I don't know a lot about the technique, or any of the others for that matter. I can't use them, so all I know is what I've been told. So I'll be learning right along with you in most cases. However, it's not that big of a deal, really. Darkness is controlled completely by your mind and will. You think it, the Darkness does it. It's not like the other elements, where you need to use handseals and precise commands to make sure they don't do anything you don't want them to. So whenever you get time, mess around a little, see what you can come up with."**

'Who did you learn all this from?' Naruto knew it was more-than-likely a fellow demon; someone unreachable for himself. But it was worth a try.

"**Mostly the Four-Tailed Demon Lord, Riju. He was a bat demon with a very strong Darkness affinity. He was a very wise demon, very kind as well. Always willing to teach and explain." **Naruto could hear the fondness in Kyuubi's voice.

'You said 'was'. Did something happen to him?'

**"No one really knows. Rumor has it that a group of very powerful humans, professional demon hunters, captured him. Others say that they just weakened him and he went into hiding. But all of the explanations seem to include the same group of humans, so I assume that they are somehow involved with Riju's disappearance. Though, I doubt that any human could defeat him."**

'You are stronger than him, but you were still defeated.' Naruto pointed out.

Kyuubi snorted. **"I was never defeated, I was tricked and sealed, by a GOD, I might add, because I was blinded by rage. A mistake on my part, I'll admit. But Riju was too level-headed to be caught with anything like that. He's far too cunning to be captured by humans, no matter how strong they are."**

'Speaking of that, why were you so angry that night? What made you attack the village?' Naruto had avoided asking those questions for years.

It wasn't because he sensed it was a touchy subject. No, his reasons were more selfish than that. He had his own ideas as to the reasons for that tragic event, and they were part of what allowed him to accept Kyuubi so readily. He saw her as a demon that, while not exactly "noble", didn't do things without a reason. She wasn't some mindless force of destruction, or some thrill-killer that destroyed entire civilizations for shits and giggles.

But what if that's exactly what had happened? What if the reality of the situation was that Kyuubi had been bored and Konoha just happened to be in her line of sight? What if she had set off the chain of events that had ruined his life, on a malevolent whim? Naruto didn't think he could take that. Kyuubi was THE constant in his life, the only family he had ever known. She was so approachable and friendly. Always willing to help, always willing to listen. He didn't want his image of her to be irreparably shattered.

Surprisingly unaware of Naruto's worries and inner conflict, Kyuubi sighed deeply. This was yet another thing she had been hoping to hold off indefinitely. But if anyone had the right to know, it was Naruto. With all that had happened to him because of her, the demoness was honestly surprised that he hadn't asked for an explanation sooner. That he hadn't _demanded_ and explanation sooner.

**"…I once had a family. A mate and three children of my own. But, earlier on the day of my rampage, I was summoned by someone. To this day, I don't know who, or what, was responsible. All I know is that when I appeared, no one was there. Naturally, I was mad, and I took out my frustrations on a **_**small**_** section of a forest, then headed back home… When I got there, I found my family slaughtered. My kits' bodies were scattered about in pieces…But my mate was still alive when I found him. Unfortunately, there was nothing I could do for him. There was just too much venom in his bloodstream, and I had gotten back too late. **

**From the injuries he had suffered, including to large puncture wounds on his neck, I knew it had to have been a snake that had done it. They have a very specific way of fighting and killing. But only two serpents in existence would have been large and powerful enough to take my mate down: Hachimata no Orochi, the eight-headed snake demon; and Manda, the Boss of the Snake summons." **the sound of a soft sob made Naruto's eye twitch and his chest ache.

**"And as if that weren't enough, my mate's last words were 'Find the snake'…My family had fought valiantly, if the dozens upon dozens of dead shinobi were any indication...But it still wasn't enough. Most of those shinobi had the forehead protector with the symbol of your village, hence my reason for attacking. But there were others that bore a symbol that's not affiliated with any village that I know of." **

Naruto thought for a minute. The moment Kyuubi had mentioned Manda, the gears in his head started turning. But he had to be sure.

'Kyuubi…If the Hachibi had done it, you would have felt it, right? Something that strong…it would have been very hard to miss.'

"…**Now that you mention it, that's right. That serpent would never suppress his power willingly; he's far too proud and arrogant. So it had to be Manda." **while she was glad some of the pieces were stating to come together, it did her no good since she was trapped inside the very person she was talking to. **"Wait...You're onto something, aren't you?"**

'I think so. Tell me, the symbol that you didn't recognize, was it a musical note?'

"…" Kyuubi didn't trust herself to speak. Naruto had it, the identity of the one who'd so ruthlessly slaughtered her innocent family. Twelve years of wondering and speculating was all about to come to an end. Now it didn't matter that she was sealed; she had to know.

'That's the symbol of a village that cropped up some five years ago. They call themselves "Otogakure no Sato", the Hidden Sound Village. Though there's no concrete proof, it's all but certain that the village is run by Orochimaru; Konoha's most notorious nuke-nin. He was part of a trio of Kage-level ninjas known as the "Sannin", former students of the Sandaime Hokage. I know you don't care about all the details, so I'll only tell you the one that matters. Orochimaru is one of only two people known to have signed the Snake summoning contract. And though Mitarashi Anko could probably do it now, twelve years ago Orochimaru was the only person on the planet who could summon Manda.'

For nearly five full minutes, the only sounds Naruto could hear out of Kyuubi were low, rumbling growls.

Finally, she spoke. **"Naruto, if we ever encounter this 'Orochimaru'…I **_**will**_** take over and kill him. I **_**will**_** have my revenge. With or without your consent." **

Naruto nodded. Kyuubi didn't often use his name, and when she did, it was safe to assume she was mad or very, very serious. And Kyuubi was beyond mad now. In fact, there probably wasn't even a word to describe how she felt.

After a long silence, Naruto decided to speak up. 'Kyuu-chan…I apologize for bringing up such painful memories.'

**"No, no, it's alright. If I hadn't said anything, I wouldn't have the information I do now. It may not seem like much, but just knowing who did it…It's a big step towards closure for me. So thank you, Naruto."**

That gave Naruto pause. He had never been thanked for anything. Ever. In fact, whenever he did something nice for someone else, he usually got the exact opposite of a "thank you", if anything at all.

'I, uh…Y-You're welcome…'

Kyuubi giggled; it had been years since she'd heard Naruto stutter. **"You know what, Kit? I think you've earned a reward."**

"Reward?" Naruto cocked his head slightly in confusion.

**"Yes, think of it as a gift from your sensei. Take out a blank scroll."**

Naruto took out a blank scroll from a pouch on the front of his armored tactical vest.

**"Now unroll it and sit it on the ground. Cut your hand and place it on the scroll, I'll do the rest."**

Naruto took out a kunai and sliced open his hand, not even flinching at the pain. He placed his bleeding hand on the blank scroll and felt Kyuubi's chakra pulse through his body. It leaked out of his wound, not healing it as it usually would, instead going into the scroll itself. His blood seemed to soak into the paper, then red writing started to appear, spiraling outward from his hand. Naruto didn't recognize the writing at all. It might as well have been hieroglyphs, with the strange symbols, squiggly lines and things that looked vaguely like letters.

**"Now that that's done, form the demon seals I'm about to show you, then slam you hand into the contract."**

Kyuubi had trained Naruto in demon seals for three years now, and he had mastered all but the weirdest of them(some of them he just didn't have the proper hands for). He went through the seals that appeared in his mind's eye and slammed his hand into the scroll. The writing on the contract began to glow, then it spread out over the ground, arranging itself into intricate patterns in a five-foot circle around the contract..

There was a large plume of smoke as the technique completed, accompanied by the almost overpowering stench of sulfur. Thankfully, Naruto's mask was an authentic Hunter Combat Mask. This meant it came with an air filter that could be activated with a single thought.

Once the smoke cleared, Naruto could clearly see what he had summoned. Instead of some demonic entity awaiting instructions from its new master, it appeared to be body armor. Jet-black and polished almost to a mirror sheen, it looked like it had never been worn before, let alone seen battle. The set consisted of clawed gauntlets, vambraces, a cuirass, greaves and a skull-themed helmet.

"Cool." Naruto nodded in appreciation, liking the sleek, streamlined design of the armor. Not just for the aesthetics, but because it looked like it was relatively lightweight and easy to move around in.

**"I know. It's in its dormant state right now, so you'll have to activate it to continue."**

'And I do that, how?'

"**Touch it."**

'What will it do?'

"**It'll turn into black slime, latch onto your body, assimilate your clothing and armor, then replicate it perfectly." **Kyuubi replied, intentionally sounding sarcastic.

Naruto fell for it. 'Right…' he then reached out and tapped the top of the helmet with a finger. Nothing happened. '…I think it's broken.'

"**Well you've gotta do more than just poke it!"**

Now convinced that Kyuubi was just messing with him, Naruto rolled his eyes and grabbed the helmet.

'How's thi-!' Naruto recoiled as the helmet, as well as the rest of the armor, _melted_ and attached itself to his hand.

"**See? Told ya'."**

Seeing no reason to doubt his teacher's words, Naruto squashed his desire to get the black sludge off. Instead, he merely watched its progress as it crawled its way up his right arm, across his torso and down his left arm.

"God, this feels weird." Naruto mumbled as the slime began to cover his legs. Just like Kyuubi said, he could feel the slime dissolving his clothes and absorbing them into itself.

It wasn't until the strange substance started going North that Naruto started to worry. He didn't care about his outfit being replicated or whatever, but he did NOT want the stuff doing the same thing to his mask.

"Hold it. Stop. Stop!" much to Naruto surprise, the slime actually stopped about half-way up his neck.

"**What's wrong?"**

'The mask…' Naruto didn't really know how to explain it, as the concept of "sentimental value" had been foreign and meaningless to him for years.

But Kyuubi understood perfectly. The mask had been a gift from the only true friend Naruto ever had. Well, true human friend, anyway. It wouldn't matter if the "new" mask would end up looking a hundred percent identical to the old one, or that it would be upgraded in every conceivable way. The thought that the mask _She_ gave him would be gone forever and he'd be left with a replica was a deal-breaker.

Luckily, there was a way around that.

"**I get it, don't worry. If you don't want an entirely new mask, would you settle for giving your current one an upgrade?" **Kyuubi proposed.

'Certainly, as long as the end result is still MY mask.'

"**It will be. As you know now, the armor responds to your commands. You think it, the armor does it. Just have the armor cover the mask, like a coat of resin, or something. You won't get all the benefits of the full-on replica, and it will add some mass, but the mask will be more durable and self-repairing."**

'Deal.' Naruto replied without hesitation, then set about giving the armor a set of very specific commands. Mostly along the lines of "Do NOT absorb the mask".

The armor proved to be a very good listener, as it did exactly as told, attaching itself to the mask without assimilating it. Naruto noticed the mask was heavier, but it wasn't anything to be concerned with.

'How much longer will the rest of this take?' Naruto asked, eager to get back to training.

"**A couple more minutes, tops. If not for what you like to wear, it would already be done."**

With normal clothing, the armor would only have to assimilate, analyze and replicate two, maybe three types of fabric, along with dyes and whatnot. But Naruto's clothing was far from normal. Everything he wore was made specifically for ninjas. Gloves, shirt, vest, pants, boots, even his cloak; all of it. None of the fabrics were as they seemed. Just by feeling the material of his pants, one would assume that they were made or normal cotton. It was virtually impossible to tell that it was actually a composite fabric, made from things that were composite materials in and of themselves. So, instead of something like a cotton/polyester blend, the armor had to perfectly replicate literally dozens of individual materials.

Still a relatively simple matter for something so advanced, but it still took time.

Again true to Kyuubi's words, Naruto was clad in an exact clone of his normal outfit. All black, it consisted fingerless weighted-knuckle gloves, a long-sleeved compression shirt, an ANBU-issue tactical vest, and cargo pants tucked into shin-high steel-toed combat boots. It was perfect in every way. The weight, the texture, even the smell was spot-on.

Actually, it was better. Everything moved with him, as if every part was attached to his skin. Nothing shifted out of place or rode up uncomfortably. This was most obvious with his pants. He tucked them into his boots for the same reasons many shinobi taped theirs around their shins or ankles; to cut down on loose fabric and to keep things from getting inside. But he favored a clean, tapered look that was ruined with his pant-legs inevitably rode up, often unevenly. He had never been one to get caught up in aesthetics, but this one thing irked him to no end. But now, since the boots and pants were technically all one piece, and stretched to accommodate his movements, he'd never have to worry about it again.

'Okay, I'm impressed.' Naruto nodded in appreciation.

"**That's it? Just 'impressed'?"**

'…I am in awe of this monumental innovation in the field of personal protection. Your genius is unrivaled, and I am humbled just by being in your presence. Better?'

"**Much. Now then, about the armor. I call it the Biosuit. I wanted to use an acronym, but they're a pain in the ass. I originally created it as a standard suit of armor, but I decided that was too simple. Too…ordinary. So, I created a semi-organic armor that can do everything one could possibly want it to. Different forms, style changes, new outfit for a mission; the Biosuit will take care of it all. It's even self-cleaning!" **Kyuubi explained.

'Very nice. But as far as actual protection goes, how is it superior to my old armor?' Naruto asked.

If it had the exact same properties, then it stood to reason that it would provide the exact same level of protection. Which actually wasn't much, all things considered. The standard ANBU-issue armor provided excellent protection, within a certain context. The ceramic composite armor plates that provided the primary defense within the tactical vest were incredibly strong _for their weight_. But by nature they couldn't take as much punishment as a hunk of solid steel or titanium alloy. This was why the vests were commonly known as "flak jackets", since shrapnel and other relatively low-mass/low-velocity projectiles were just about the only things they'd actually block.

"**While you'd need to go into full-armor mode to get maximum protection, the Biosuit is quite capable even in its current state. It reacts to impacts and hardens almost instantly when anything touches it with any significant force. In mere **_**nanoseconds**_**, it can go from being soft as velvet, to several times harder than steel, depending on the amount and type of force imparted."** Kyuubi was very proud of that factoid.

To test it, Naruto slammed his fist into his chest. Instead of the muffled "thunk" of his knuckles meeting the fabric and armor plates of the vest, Naruto was greeted by more of knock, as if he had hit a solid stone wall. Which wasn't far off from what it felt like; firm and unyielding, like a block of concrete.

'This just keeps getting better.' Naruto thought, unable to keep a smirk off his face. He couldn't wait to try it out in actual combat.

"**It gets better. There was another project developed alongside the Biosuit; a semi-organic cloak with all the same capabilities as the Biosuit, and more. That's a separate summon, so you'll need another scroll."**

XX

It had taken longer than Naruto had expected to get comfortable with the "living" cloak. Literally, as the constant undulations felt incredibly weird. But seeing what it could do and getting used to controlling it had been the most time-consuming processes. Two hours, to be exact. It was more than worth the time, though, as the cloak would certainly be an invaluable asset in the field.

But now it was time to get back to the reason Naruto had come to this private training ground in the first place.

**"Alright, onto the next Technique. You're already more than familiar with the Shadow Clone Technique, but now you'll learn a superpowered version of it; the Darkness Clone Technique. It's the same principle as the normal Shadow Clone, but it uses demon seals. These clones can take tremendous amounts of punishment before being dispelled, around one hundred hits**(3)**, not including lethal shots. An added benefit is that they can alter their form at will. By default, they'll be identical to you. But, being made of Darkness, by nature they have no set shape. This means that they can literally turn into just about anything, or anyone, without using a Henge." **clone techniques were already among the most versatile in any ninja's arsenal. But the Darkness Clones could do things that couldn't even be dreamed of with any other type.

It was yet another thing that made Kyuubi envious of those who could wield the Darkness element.

"Here goes..." Naruto once again performed the handseals flashing through his mind's eye flawlessly. But nothing happened. "Um…"

"**Oh! I forgot one of the few limitations of the Darkness Clone Technique. You can only spawn clones from shadows, and that won't change no matter how good you get. It's barely an inconvenience, but it's something to keep in mind nonetheless. Find a suitable shadow, focus on it, and try again." **

Naruto did as instructed, and was relieved to see a black mass come up out of the shadow. Once it reached a height similar to his own, it stopped growing and began to morph into a humanoid shape. Seconds later, a perfect replica of Naruto was standing in front of the original. Naruto walked up to his clone and hit it in the face. A blow like that would've easily dispelled a Shadow Clone, but this one barely budged. Instead, it hit him back even harder. Both Narutos smirked behind their masks and the real Naruto dispelled the clone, noting that it dissolved into a kind of black dust instead of going "poof".

"Excellent." Naruto chuckled. These Darkness Clones were leaps and bounds ahead of the other types of clones he could create. Not only were they more covert, with no puff of smoke or anything of the like to give away their presence, but their durability was sure to be a nasty surprise to his future opponents.

He also noted that his mask had absorbed the impact far better than it ever had in his spars with Shadow Clones. Aside from the torque on his neck, he'd barely felt that punch! And a quick check with his fingers confirmed that the mask was undamaged as well. That was a massive plus for Naruto. The mask meant a lot to him, which made him very wary about wearing it on missions when he was finally graduated from the Academy and was assigned to a team. But now that the risk of it being broken or otherwise damaged was lessened, that was one less thing to worry about on missions.

**"Good, but a bit slow. Practice the technique until you can make them at the same pace as the Shadow Clones. And for future reference, the Darkness Clones also have the memory transfer feature of the Shadow Clones, so be careful about dispelling too many at once." **

XX

Being a more advanced technique than the Shadow Clone, there was an understandably steeper learning curve. Where the Shadow Clone had taken Naruto all of twenty minutes to master, the Darkness Clone had taken a full hour. But he had done it, and it was time to move on.

Kyuubi's next lessons nearly had him drooling. They were Demon Skills: techniques created by demons, for demons. Of course, he wouldn't really be able to practice them now, but just the thought of knowing them had Naruto about as close to "giddy" as he could possibly be.

"**Well let's get started. The first Demon Skill you'll be learning is Storm-Bringer. This technique will allow you to summon a localized thunderstorm and control the intensity and duration. I'll warn you now, this technique will take your skills in elemental manipulation and multitasking to the limits. Luckily, once you're able to control the wind, rain and lightning simultaneously, you won't really have to do anything else. Your opponent will be more concerned with the lighting bolts, hurricane-force winds and a monsoon-like downpour."**

As he memorized the demon seals, Naruto also thought of ways to implement the technique in battle. It wasn't something to use casually, and it was far from instantaneous, even after the long string of seals. That being the case, any foe strong enough to make him resort to the Storm-Bringer would have to be distracted to give him the time to pull it off.

Not the most practical of moves, but Naruto certainly wasn't going to complain about it.

**"The next is a real powerhouse: the Blackfire Dragon. In both principle and appearance, it's similar to techniques like the Fire Dragon Flame Missile. But unlike other 'Draconic' attacks, this one is a fire-and-forget deal. Once it's given a target, it won't stop until it hits, or is countered somehow. It won't explode on contact with anything else, unless you will it, and will either plow through or go around obstacles in its path. You can still actively control it, but you don't really have to. It's a Fire/Darkness combination technique, of course, and that Darkness element gives it another special property: it's unaffected by water. Now being hit head-on by a particularly powerful Water technique will cause it to explode, but the water itself won't snuff it out. I would let you try this one out, but I don't think it's a good idea. If the youki didn't attract attention, the resulting explosion most certainly would."**

Naruto practiced the seals, but heeded Kyuubi's warning. But he had to admit he was curious as to what a technique with that kind of power could do.

"**This last technique…To be honest, I don't even want to teach it to you. It's a suicide technique, plain and simple. The Hellfire Dragon." **Kyuubi let out a shuddering breath. She had seen the move in person, courtesy of the very being who had taught it to her. It was truly a terrifying thing to behold. **"Basically, combine the Funkakou**(4)**with the Blackfire Dragon, and you get that. I…No, nevermind. I don't even know why I brought it up. Forget I even mentioned it. I'll show you the Leviathan's Wake. It's a 'crowd control' attack that creates a huge, three-hundred and sixty degree wall of water that spreads outward from you. Again, I'll show you the seals, but don't use it. You'd end up drowning everything in a quarter-mile radius."**

'Just as well, I don't think I would want to use it right now.' Naruto said with a mental shrug. Water techniques had always been abnormally taxing on him, even considering that it wasn't one of his main elements.

Time passed by in a blur for the masked boy as he engrossed himself in a somewhat "downtoned" version of his normal training regimen. It was still bat-shit crazy even by most shinobi standards, but there was a distinct lack of fiery explosions, flying debris and falling trees. But, with the addition of his newly-acquired Darkness Clones, the training was actually even more intense than usual. He was so used to the clones going "poof" after one hit, that he found himself being blindsided more than a few times when the clones just bounced back from all but the most deadly of attacks.

By the time he had paused for a "break", the sun was little more than a pinkish-orange beacon of light just below the Western horizon.

"Today was a good day." Naruto said aloud as he stretched, letting out small groans of relief with every pop and crack produced by his joints.

The only downside was that he didn't get to try out his new Demon Skills. Of course he knew and agreed with the reasons he couldn't use the techniques at the moment, but even so Naruto couldn't help but be a little disappointed. He had the power to unleash untold devastation right at his fingertips, but he couldn't indulge even a little.

Kyuubi decided that this was the perfect time to tease the boy. **"Awww, wittle Narutokins doesn't get to destwoy anything today. It's alwight, you'll get your chance, yes you will, yes you will." **

Naruto's right eyebrow twitched wildly under his mask. "That was just too creepy...even for you."

**"Hey, I resent that! Besides, who are you to talk about creepy? You're the definition of the word!"**

"Hey, you're the one who decided on the look, I just took a liking to it. This," Naruto gestured to his outfit, "is not my fault."

Kyuubi thought about the boy's reply, then Naruto realized what he had walked into and groaned.

**"Yeah, I guess it IS my fault that you look so badass. I'm sorry, would you rather look like the Emo-King?" **Kyuubi sent Naruto a mental picture of what he would look like with Sasuke's clothes on, his hairstyle, and his permanent scowl.

Naruto shuddered slightly. "Don't ever do that again."

**"And why not?"**

"Because I can always do worse to you." Naruto sent Kyuubi a mental image of Gai Maito in a speedo.

Kyuubi shrieked and backed into the farthest corner of Naruto's mind, screaming "sorry" all the way. Naruto had gotten his revenge, but at a heavy price.

"...I need a shower...a long, scalding hot shower." he said monotonously.

He wanted to use the Shadow Walk to get to his apartment, but thought better of it. He didn't know what the technique's maximum range was, if it had one, but he figured he'd need a lot more practice to cover the five miles between the clearing and his home. So, he fell back on the old standby, the Body Flicker.

(Naruto's Apartment)

Immediately after stepping into his apartment, Naruto looked at the clock hanging above the kitchen entrance. By his own internal clock, it was around 9:30pm. According to the clock on the wall, it was 9:28pm. Any discrepancy of less than five minutes was acceptable, as per the words of the human sensei who'd taught Naruto how to set up his internal clock.

As Naruto prepared to take his shower, he suddenly wished he hadn't sent Kyuubi into hiding. She had never told him if could take the Biosuit off normally, or if there was some kind of special procedure involved. But, as it turned out, the Biosuit continued to behave like normal clothing as he took it off, separating into all the proper pieces without so much as a single twitch.

The cloak, on the other hand, required some "convincing" to relinquish its hold on its new owner. Even after he took it off, it followed him to the bathroom, slithering across the floor like a giant snake, until he told it to stay behind. Yeah, the cloak would take a LOT of getting used to. On the plus side, Naruto couldn't wait to see other people's reactions to the cloak moving the way it did.

"Now, time for that shower."

(The Next Morning)

Naruto had slept like a baby for the first time in…Well, since he was a baby, probably. His nights were usually filled with frequent interruptions in his sleep. Whether it be restlessness due to energy he hadn't burned off, or noises in the middle of the night, Naruto rarely got a full night's sleep.

That didn't really bother him, but now that he had gotten a good night's rest, he found himself wishing it happened more often.

In fact, he almost wished he was asleep right now. Because that would mean that him all the cold and contemptuous, or downright angry and hateful glares and whispers would all be part of a dream. And that would mean that he could kill the owners of every one of those eyes without even the most minor of consequences.

Fortunately, for the citizens of Konoha, Naruto was wide awake, and well aware of what would happen if he decided to lash out and kill someone unprovoked. So it simply ignored them, treating the people like background scenery as he made his way down the streets, towards the Academy.

He was disappointed when he made it through the gates and into the building without incident. He had been looking forward to making an example out of the first fool to try and impede his progress. But he got his chance to put some fear in somebody when went by the receptionists' desk, where a female Chūnin busy typing away at her keyboard, totally absorbed in whatever she was doing.

If it had stayed that way, there wouldn't have been a problem. But a some five seconds after Naruto walked by her desk, her head shot up as she noticed him.

"Oh! I'm sorry, I-" she stopped the pleasantries when she noticed who she was talking to. "Oh, it's you." she spat.

Naruto just waved his hand dismissively. "Yeah, it's me. I'm going to class now." Naruto walked off, but stopped when he heard the receptionist mutter "demon brat" under her breath.

With a small smirk, Naruto slowly turned to look at the woman, who glared back defiantly. Using a trick Kyuubi had taught him, he sent some chakra into his eyes, causing them to glow a brilliant shade of blue. Shining through the eye-slits of his mask, it made for a very eerie effect. Combined with a concentrated wave of killing intent, the receptionist never stood a chance.

The young Chūnin suddenly found it hard to breathe as she looked into the demon boy's glowing eyes. She coughed, taking her eyes off of him for just a second. When she looked back, he was gone, though the oppressive sense of dread remained. She soon learned why when a clawed hand wrapped itself around her mouth a split second before another erupted from her chest in a torrent of blood, bone and tissue.

Satisfied with a lesson well taught, Naruto turned on his heel and walked his classroom. Behind him, he heard the receptionist retch and spill her breakfast into a trashcan.

XX

Iruka was not having a good day. It was graduation day and the students wouldn't settle down. He had tried everything short of attacking the children. The only ones who were even remotely calm were Sasuke, Shino and Shikamaru, but you could tell they were just as excited. Well Sasuke was, anyway. With Shino, you could never tell what was on his mind. And Shikamaru…His snoring said all there was to say about his attitude towards graduation.

Fortunately, the ultimate "riot-buster" was just outside the classroom door. The moment that Iruka felt he was going to snap, and Mizuki moved to restrain him, Naruto walked into the room. The temperature seemed to drop several degrees and the students immediately clammed up.

Mizuki outright scowled, while Iruka was torn between jumping for joy, and chastising the boy for his tardiness.

"So kind of you to join us, Mr. Uzumaki." Iruka settled on the latter.

Naruto just snorted. "Your receptionist is a bitch, that's not my fault." the classroom gasped at Naruto's use of foul language. Sure, they all cursed at one point or another, especially Kiba, but they at least made an effort to watch what they said around the instructors. But Naruto? He just didn't care.

"Watch your mouth, young man!" Iruka shouted, even though he had seen how she treated Naruto on a daily basis.

Naruto turned to Iruka, his masked face betraying absolutely nothing. But Iruka was one of the few people to know that the mask didn't make much of a difference. He had seen the boy's face, and he could honestly say he preferred the mask.

Those soulless, predatory eyes still haunted his nightmares some nights.

"My apologies, Iruka-sensei, but you know what I say is true." Naruto bowed to Iruka and just nodded to Mizuki, whose glare intensified.

"**Watch out for the white-haired one." **Kyuubi yawned, having just woken up.

'What for? There's nothing that insect can do to me.' Naruto replied with a mental snorted as he made his way to his seat.

**"You know, Kit, those were my exact thoughts moments before my sealing. Don't let your power go to your head. You may be an academy student with the power of a**** Jō****nin, but you can still be defeated."**

'I know that all too well, Kyuu-chan, but it will take far more than some third-rate Academy Instructor to beat me.' Naruto took his seat two rows behind the Uchiha, or as Kyuubi called him, the "Emo-King".

XXXX

First chapter is finished! W00T!

Since this is an AU story, many things will happen a little later than they did in the series and the manga. Like Mizuki stealing the Forbidden Scroll of Sealing. And before people start saying Naruto's too strong, there is a reason for that. His enemies will be much stronger than they are in the manga and the series, but only the main ones(Orochimaru, Akatsuki, etc.). He will also be fighting some very high level demons, among other supernatural beings, later on.

There will be flashbacks explaining what happened in Naruto's past, but not until later, it kinda slows down the story.

**(1) I know "Arashi" isn't the Yondaime's real name. It's not his real name in this story, either. It's the name he chose when he denounced his clan(yes, he DOES have a clan in this...well, he **_**did**_** have one). Hence Sarutobi's hesitation in calling him "Arashi"; he knows that's not his real name, but he's respecting a dead man's wishes. Can't believe I've waited this long to make that clear in this first chapter, but here it is.**

(2): Gufuu Jiten – Typhoon Rotation.

(3): Think of it like a video game, and Darkness Clones are characters with health bars set at one-hundred points. Now, anyone who knows anything about games knows that one hit rarely does just one point of damage. With Shadow Clones, a simple hard pat on the back can dispel them. Imagine something like that as being able to take off one point from a Darkness Clone's "health bar". In contrast, a hard punch from a Jōnin may be able to take off up to eighty to ninety points. In other words, the "one-hundred hits" thing is NOT to be taken literally, it just means their threshold for punishment is about a hundred times greater than a Shadow Clones, and, when you think about it, that's not saying all too much.

(4): Funkakou – Crater. Named such because that's all that's ever left behind once it's used. It's a suicide technique usually taught only to very high-ranking spies on very, VERY sensitive missions. Though he can be done with handseals, it's typically activated by a special seal on the user's body. It takes every bit of the user's chakra, compresses it to the absolute limit, then releases it, effectively turning the person into a living bomb.

Read & Review please!

Jason out!


	2. Power Revealed

And the second chapter is here! You've all wanted it, and now you got it!

In response to some questions:

No, Naruto will not use the Shadow Clones, he will use my upgraded version, the Darkness Clones. Much stronger and no puff of smoke.

The only pairings I have decided on are NaruxfemKyuubi, NaruxHina, and NaruxfemHaku. Pairings won't come in until later chapters, so I'll start up a voting poll when romance starts to become a major aspect of the story.

This IS a harem fic, and no amount of whining or protesting is going to change that. Haven't had much in the way of whining, yet, but if you've got a problem with harems, I don't want to hear about it.

Anyway, on with the fic!

XXXX

Naruto's uncanny ability to shut people up never ceased to amaze Iruka. What took him and other instructors minutes to do, took Naruto only seconds. Before Naruto became unofficial ruler of the classroom, Iruka had thought of asking Ibiki to come down to the class and put the "fear of Kami" into the kids.

However, once the other students knew that Naruto wasn't going to kill anyone, they would start right back up again. So, just as he did every morning, Iruka made like a good shinobi and took full advantage of the momentary silence.

"Alright then, now that the last student is here, we can begin with the exam!"

Iruka looked around the class and happily noted that most students were paying close attention to his every word, even Shikamaru. Everyone except for our favorite masked demon child, Naruto Uzumaki.

Iruka just sighed; there was nothing he could do for the child now. "Now then, you will all be called by alphabetical order to the front of the class. Here you will perform three techniques: a Henge of the Sandaime Hokage, three standard clones, and another Henge of your choice. First; Aburame Shino." and so, the class went on like this.

"Next up: Uchiha Sasuke." the Sasuke Fanclub instantly went crazy.

"Go, Sasuke-kun, you can do it!" one girl shouted.

"Yeah! I'll bet Sasuke-kun can do over a hundred clones!" yelled another.

"Sasuke-kun, you're the best!" and yet another.

Needless to say, Sasuke was soaking up all the attention like a sponge.

"Alright, Sasuke, let's see how good your Henge is." Iruka said.

Sasuke nodded and did the proper seals. A muttering of "Henge" later, and a perfect copy of the Sandaime stood at the front of the class, though he lacked a pipe and seemed to carry an air of arrogance and contempt. It didn't change when the boy released the illusion.

"Good. Now the clones." Sasuke nodded again.

He made the seals and muttered "Clone Technique" and ten perfect clones poofed into existence, then poofed out again. The Sasuke Fanclub went wild at the display of "power".

"Very nice. Now for the Henge of your choice."

Sasuke thought for a second, then did the hand seals while muttering again. In a puff of smoke there stood a perfect replica of Sasuke's late father, Fugaku Uchiha.

"Very well done, Sasuke! You pass!" Sasuke just smirked as Mizuki handed him his forehead protector.

"Next up: Uzumaki Naruto." Iruka called and the ever-silent masked boy walked to the front of the class.

"Okay, Naruto, just a simple Henge...And no freaky stuff." Naruto had a habit of screwing up his Henge on purpose just to see what kind of abomination would spawn from it. The class got a big kick out of seeing an Iruka look-alike dressed as a Geisha, make-up and all. And sure, Iruka often found himself laughing when it was Mizuki's turn to be the butt of the joke, but if there was ever a time for absolute seriousness in a classroom, today was it.

Naruto crossed his arms under his cloak, then there was a puff of smoke. Where Naruto once stood, there was now a perfect copy of the Hokage, but with one difference: the eyes. The cold, unfeeling eyes. It wasn't right for the Hokage to have them, and it creeped everyone out to no end.

"A-Alright, Naruto, dispel the Henge." Iruka shuddered. "Clones, please...And no shenanigans!"

Naruto cocked his head to the side a bit. "...What about-"

"No!" Iruka interrupted the boy's question. "Standard clones, nothing more, nothing less."

The Jinchuuriki grunted an affirmative, then took his hands out of his cloak and began checking his fingernails as thirty perfect Naruto clones appeared in puffs of smoke.

Everyone was stunned. Naruto had just created three times as many clones as Sasuke, and he'd done it without the use of handseals! They would have been even more stunned if they had known that these were actually Shadow Clones, not standard ones.

'What the hell?' was the collective thought of all that had watched the display. Sasuke clenched his fists and his jaw, there was someone stronger than him now, by a considerable margin, and he couldn't have that.

'Where did he get that kind of power? I must know, I'll beat it out of him if I have to!' the "last" Uchiha thought angrily.

Every student in the class knew that Naruto was powerful, but that wasn't the main reason they gave him such a wide birth. Maybe it was because he was tremendously creepy; or maybe it was because he became quite violent when sufficiently irritated, as Kiba found out the hard way...numerous times. Had they given it more thought, they'd have realized that it was something akin to an instinctual fear. Naruto, in school, was something like a large crocodile sunning itself on a riverbank. He just wanted to be left alone so he could go about his day. Sure, he looked mean and scary, but as long as you kept your distance, you were fine. And it was your natural instincts that made you keep your distance. However, if you chose to ignore those instincts and get too close, then you were just begging to get a limb torn off.

But Naruto had never done anything, beyond beating Kiba up a few times, to suggest that he was that dangerous or that strong. Until today, that is. Apparently, Naruto had chosen today to give his classmates a small taste of just how far ahead of them he was.

Iruka was the first to break the silence. "V-Very good...Naruto. Time for the final part of the test...I'm curious to see who you'd chose as a Henge." the instructor cracked a small smile, figuring that a Naruto's final school prank was coming.

It only took a split second for Naruto to decide what to do. There was a puff of smoke that covered the boy. When it cleared, everyone gasped; Naruto had turned into a perfect clone of the Fourth! But he still had the soulless eyes that creeped everyone out.

"You pass, dispel the Henge." Mizuki said with a growling undertone.

Naruto just took his forehead protector from Iruka and sat back down.

After Naruto took his seat, Iruka began dividing up teams.

"Team Eleven: Asojo Kira, Tobako Rahchi, Cariko Bara. Your Jōnin sensei will be Mitarashi Anko...!" Iruka was amazed that the sadistic Jōnin would even be allowed to have a Genin team. 'Especially after that one time...'

"Team Ten: Nara Shikamaru, Yamanaka Ino, Akimichi Chouji. Your Jōnin sensei will be Sarutobi Asuma." Ino groaned softly when she was teamed with the lazy bum and the fatass, though she dare not verbalize her dismay in front of Chouji.

"Team Eight: Hyūga Hinata, Inuzuka Kiba, Aburame Shino. Your Jōnin sensei will be Yūhi Kurenai." Iruka and Mizuki both blushed a little at the thought of the beautiful rookie Jōnin.

"Team Seven: Haruno Sakura, Uchiha Sasuke-" Sakura squealed and jumped up.

Sakura turned to Ino and stuck out her tongue. "Take that, Ino-pig!" she taunted.

"Shut up, Forehead Girl!" Ino sneered.

Iruka cleared his throat loudly to get the two kunoichi to stop bickering. "Thank you. The final member of Team Seven is Uzumaki Naruto. Your Jōnin sensei will be Hatake Kakashi." Sakura spared a frightened glance at Naruto and noticed that he was staring at her.

As Iruka sounded off the rest of the teams, the members of Team Seven were having a stare-down. Well, at least Sasuke was, Naruto was just holding Sasuke's glare unflinchingly, and Sakura was caught in the crossfire.

Sasuke 'hn'ed and turned back to his window gazing/brooding. Naruto glanced at Sakura one last time before looking out the window as well.

'Great,' thought Naruto, 'I get stuck with the Emo-King and his number one fangirl. Well I suppose it could be worse...though I don't see how.'

As the Jōnin appeared to take their assigned students, the teams left one by one until Team Seven were the only ones left. Right now it was just them and Iruka in the classroom at the time, but then Iruka had to leave for a mission briefing and it was just Team Seven.

"Argh! How can a ninja be so late? It's been TWO HOURS!" Sakura raged.

"Well, if our sensei's reputation is anything to go by, we have about another hour of this." Naruto said, not really paying attention to his teammate's ranting.

"What?!" this time it was both Sasuke and Sakura that yelled as they turned to Naruto.

"Hatake Kakashi is infamous for his tardiness. As far as I know, he's never shown up for anything, barring direct orders from the Hokage, less than two hours late. So, he's either going to be another hour late, or he's going to walk in the door in three...two...one...now." Naruto pointed offhandedly at the door just as a silver haired man poked his head into the room.

"Are you guys Team Seven?" he asked, already knowing the answer.

"YOU'RE LATE!" Sakura screamed. Sasuke glared, and Naruto just continued to stare out the window.

Kakashi just smiled under his mask. "My first impression is...I hate you. Meet me on the roof in one minute." with that, the man left.

Naruto disappeared in a puff of black smoke, and the other two just took the stairs.

Sasuke walked onto the roof a minute later followed by Sakura. They saw their third teammate and their sensei already waiting for them.

"Alright then. Let's get to know each other! Likes, dislikes, hobbies, goals. You go first, Pinky." Kakashi pointed at Sakura, who took slight offense at the nickname.

"My name is Haruno Sakura, I like..." she glanced at Sasuke and giggled. "I dislike Ino-pig and creepy people..." she tossed a slightly frightened glance at Naruto, who stared right back, his head cocked a little to his right. "My hobbies are..." she glanced at Sasuke and giggled again. "My goal is..." she glanced at Sasuke again and squealed loudly.

'A fangirl, great.' "Okay. You, the Brooder." Kakashi said, pointing at Sasuke.

"Hmph. My name is Uchiha Sasuke, I like training and tomatoes. I dislike weak people and those who don't pull their own weight. I have no real hobbies. My goal...No, my _ambition_ is to kill a certain man, and revive my clan." Sasuke could _feel_ his pink-haired teammate staring at him, and it was making him uncomfortable.

He was never one to shun admiration and/or praise, but he wasn't ashamed to admit that fangirls scared him sometimes.

'An avenger, too, eh? Doesn't look like much...But I can work with that.' "Good to know. Now you, Creepy." Kakashi pointed at Naruto.

"My name is Uzumaki Naruto. My likes…I suppose just training and learning new techniques. My dislikes…People. I suppose my only 'hobby' would be…collecting. As for my goals, I can't say I really have any." Naruto said, staring right into his new teacher's lone expose eye.

Kakashi sweatdropped lightly. "If you have no goals, then…why are you here?"

Naruto cocked his head slightly to the left. "Isn't that a question that everyone asks themselves at some point? I asked that question sooner than most...And I'm here because I feel that this is the path that will lead me to an answer."

'So, I have a rabid fangirl, and fledgling avenger, and an unfeeling machine. Oh, joy.' Kakashi mentally sighed. "Alrighty then, meet at Training Ground Seven for your first assignment tomorrow morning, 7:00am sharp. See ya' then! Oh, and don't eat breakfast, you'll just puke." the masked Jōnin then disappeared in a puff of smoke before anyone could say anything.

"Wait! Dammit, we didn't get any info on him at all!" Sakura screamed.

Sasuke just scoffed and went back to his brooding, but he was interrupted by Sakura asking him if he wanted to go out and get some food.

"So, how about it, Sasuke-kun?" the pink haired girl asked hopefully.

"No." Sasuke replied flatly.

Naruto didn't find this at all amusing, so he took off, leaping from rooftop to rooftop. He decided to open a mind link with Kyuubi.

'Hey, Kyuu-chan, you awake?'

**"Yeah, what do you need, Kit?" **

'Nothing really, just wanted someone to talk to that wasn't a complete moron.'

Kyuubi giggled, a strange sound for a demon to make. **"So, what do you want to talk about?"**

Naruto shrugged. 'I don't know, anything a guess.' Naruto didn't really analyze the situation, if he had he wouldn't have said that.

Kyuubi grinned. **"Anything eh? Well, Kit, I think it's about time we had...'The Talk'." **

Naruto groaned loudly. 'Haven't we already have that conversation before?'

**"Yes, but you passed out before I even got ten minutes into it." **Kyuubi giggled.

'I was nine years old for crying out loud! That was highly inappropriate.'

**"Oh, and having sexual fantasies about me, the snake women, and the white-eyed girl isn't?"**

Naruto's eyes widened and he almost faltered in his jumps, nearly crashing into a building.

'Those were all your fault, you know. When you keep sending me perverted images, how am I not supposed to think about it? I AM a guy after all...but that doesn't mean I am a pervert.'

**"Aww, you're no fun." **Kyuubi mock-pouted.

Naruto shook his head. 'So, we gonna have "The Talk" or what?'

Kyuubi grinned like the fox she was. **"Sure Kit, if you think you're ready for it. I won't hold anything back, not even the weird stuff."**

'I think I've already proven that I can take anything you throw at me...Just let me find a place to stop.'

(3 hours later)

Naruto sat on the floor of his apartment, blankly staring into space. It took his brain a while to process what Kyuubi had told him, as it kept stopping to analyze certain sections of the talk...mostly to figure out if they were physically possible.

**"Well?" **Kyuubi was trying to keep from laughing her ass off at Naruto's reaction to her little "Sex-Ed" speech.

"...Some aspects of that sound...unpleasant." Naruto wasn't sure if he had even blinked in the three hours since the speech started.

**"Some of them are, like the initial penetration of a virgin girl. But most of it, if not all of it in some cases, is quite...**_**pleasant**_**, I assure you." **in secret, Kyuubi had begun to see Naruto as more than a little brother or a kit. He was quickly becoming potential mate material.

"Anyway, I'm glad they have birth control technique, the last thing I want is kids." Naruto sighed heavily.

Kyuubi's heart sank a little at the boy's statement. **"Why not?"**

"I don't want my kids living the same horrible life I have. I don't want them to forever be known 'the children of the demon' or something like that. If I ever do have children, they certainly won't be born in this village." semi-emotionless, though he was, Naruto still wouldn't wish his childhood on anyone, let alone his own children.

**"Well, you'll have a long time to think about it." **Kyuubi said.

Indeed Naruto would have a long time to think. Kyuubi had told him that when he and herself merged partially four years ago that Naruto was now a half demon. And with his extensive training, he was well on his way to full demon. And being a demon meant that Naruto would live forever, unless he was killed or simply got tired of life. Naruto had at first freaked out and went on a rampage out in the Forest of Death. Kyuubi was amazed that such a young human could cause so much damage. But Naruto eventually learned to deal with it and use it to his advantage. Since he would live forever, it would give him a chance to learn every technique in existence, and maybe find a way to free Kyuubi while retaining her power.

Little did he know that Kyuubi had already solved that problem. She had made it so that when she and Naruto merged initially, it was only by about twenty percent. When Naruto was in his late teens to early twenties, in human years, he would have merged completely with her. She would then be down-graded to four-tails, and Naruto the new nine-tails; the new Kyuubi. The names that humans know the tailed demons by are just their rank, determined by the number of tails they have. But Kyuubi's name happened to be just that: Kyuubi. It seemed that she was destined to hold unimaginable power the moment she was born. Once all this had happened, Kyuubi would then become Naruto's subordinate and, she hoped, mate. Then he could free her, completely, from his mind and body.

For you see, Kyuubi no longer had a real body anymore, the Shinigami had sealed it away somewhere, possibly in another dimension. When she and Naruto merged, she was freed from her cage, but she still couldn't get out of his body, not without Naruto's consent and a body for her to inhabit. So, she was now free to roam around in Naruto's mind as she pleased, watching everything through his eyes, hearing everything through his ears, and listening to his every thought, hoping to get some blackmail material. But Naruto knew none of this, Kyuubi was saving it as a surprise when she deemed Naruto ready to know it. Needless to say, sometimes the suspense was almost too much for her to bear.

"I guess." Naruto sighed. "So, should I train, or take the day off?"

Kyuubi snorted. **"Do whatever you want. Train, sleep, get laid, whatever." **Kyuubi giggled at the last part.

Naruto rolled his eyes, he had been dealing with this for years, but he had never really known what she had meant until now. But he was far too uncaring to really be effected by it.

"Hmm, sleeping sounds tempting, but I'm not tired at all...Maybe I should see what my..._teammates_ are up to." Naruto walked out of his apartment, not bothering to lock his door. He had set some traps that were undetectable to the normal human eye, though the Byakugan or the Sharingan could see them.

Kyuubi had told Naruto about some especially effective traps, and Naruto wanted to try them out. As such, this may have been the one time in his short life that he _wanted_ someone to break into his apartment and try to trash it. One trap used chakra-charged fire to burn anything that wasn't protected by a special seal. A seal that was drawn or carved into everything Naruto possessed in the apartment. Naruto was almost expecting to come home to a charred corpse, or pile of ashes, and an apartment that smelled like barbeque.

Naruto decided to just wander around the village, ignoring the cold, hate-filled glares from civilians and shinobi alike. If Naruto's mind hadn't been broken all those years ago, he most likely would have snapped and destroyed the village, or would have been killed in the process. Kyuubi knew this, which is why she didn't even attempt to try and fix it, which she probably couldn't, since the Fourth's seal prevented Kyuubi's chakra from directly affecting Naruto's mind in any way.

Meanwhile, the Uchiha we all love to hate was desperately trying to shake off his number one fangirl: Sakura Haruno. She had been on his back ever since their new sensei and their creepy teammate had left them alone.

'Come to think of it, I didn't even feel Creepshow leave. Dammit!' Sasuke clenched his fists tightly. 'He can't be stronger than me! I'll show him, I'll show everybody what it means to be an Uchiha!'

At this exact moment Sasuke and his pink-haired parasite came to a crossroad and someone walked in front of them. He had on a white Hunter-like mask with the kanji for three elements carved into it. His hood was up, hiding the rest of his head, and his black cloak seemed to flutter in a non-existent breeze.

Naruto turned to the people who were watching him, seeing none other than his new teammates; the Uchiha bastard and his rabid fangirl.

"Uchiha-san, Haruno-san." Naruto nodded to them and proceeded to walk off, content to find that his teammates weren't doing anything of interest, but a voice behind him stopped him.

"Wait!" Naruto turned to face a seemingly angry Sasuke.

"What do you want? I'm busy." it was sort of true, Naruto did have something to do...and that was to find something to do.

Naruto's response seemed to have angered the Uchiha even more.

"Fight me! Right now!" Sasuke demanded. Almost instantaneously a crowd gathered, most, if not all, wanting to see the Last Uchiha beat the crap out of the Demon Brat.

Naruto just sighed. "And why should I do that?"

"Because I demand it! Fight me!" Sasuke yelled.

Naruto scoffed. "You are nothing but a spoiled brat, always expecting to get your way because you are the 'last' Uchiha. You have absolutely no power over me, so I don't have to do anything you ask or 'order' me to. You are nothing to me." Naruto turned away from the enraged black-haired boy.

The crowd cheered the Uchiha on, which included the Official Sasuke Fanclub.

"Come on, Sasuke, kick his ass!" one girl yelled, which was echoed by others.

"Beat the demon boy!" shouted one of the adult members of the Fanclub.

"Ha! That little monster could never defeat an Uchiha!"

Naruto didn't let the shouts and insults get to him. He just shrugged and continued on his way, not stopping even when Sasuke insulted him.

"What's wrong, are you scared?" Sasuke smirked, that line worked on damn near every male, but not the masked freak. He just kept walking.

Sasuke growled and got ready to charge the cloaked boy, but Sakura stopped him.

"Come on, Sasuke-kun, you shouldn't beat up teammates...no matter how creepy they are." the young kunoichi said while standing in front of Sasuke.

Sasuke just growled louder and pushed her aside before lunging at Naruto.

To Naruto, Sasuke couldn't have been more obvious even if he'd been wielding a chainsaw.. 'I don't have time for this.'

**"Yes you do. There is always time to knock an asshole off his high-horse."** Kyuubi chimed in.

'Hm, good point.' Naruto agreed.

Just as Sasuke's flying kick was about to connect with the back of Naruto's head, the boy whirled with speed that no Genin should possess and caught Sasuke by the ankle. Naruto then swung the Uchiha over his head and smashed him into the ground, shattering the hard surface dirt. Naruto then held his "rival" up by the same ankle and, after seeing that he was out cold, carelessly flung the boy into a patch of thorn bushes at the side of the street.

Kyuubi laughed in Naruto's head. **"Hahahaha! He'll probably spend two hours picking thorns out of his ass!" **the fox continued to laugh.

Naruto just shook his head as the Sasuke Fanclub ran to the aid of their obsession.

"Sasuke-kun! Sasuke-kun, speak to me!" Sakura glared at Naruto. "What was that for?!"

Naruto shrugged. "He attacked me first, I tried to walk away. Don't blame me if he was too weak to take a hit...He shouldn't start fights that he has no hope of winning." with that Naruto disappeared in a puff of black smoke.

(Hours Later)

Sarutobi sighed, the Council was on his back again. Of course, demanding the death of the "Kyuubi Brat", Naruto Uzumaki, or at least severe punishment. Currently in his office, the masked Genin himself, along with his team.

"So Naruto, it says here that you viciously assaulted Sasuke Uchiha. Is this true?" the Sandaime already knew it wasn't, but he was obligated to ask regardless.

Naruto shook his head. "No, Hokage-sama. The Uchiha instigated the altercation by challenging me. I tried to walk away, but he attacked me from behind. I merely defended myself." he left out the part about the thorn bush, knowing the Hokage was already aware of it.

Sarutobi nodded. "Alright, that's your story, but I cannot ask Sasuke, as he his currently in the hospital having...um..." the Hokage didn't know how to continue without offending the boy.

But Naruto didn't have such worries. "He's currently having the thorns removed from his ass, correct?"

Sarutobi just sighed and nodded. "Since he is not here, I'll have to ask someone that was present for the...fight." he was reluctant to actually call _that_ a fight. He had seen the entire thing on his scrying orb and had laughed quite hard when the Uchiha was tossed into the bushes. But he couldn't tell the Council this, as they would just say that he was defending Naruto because he had a soft spot for the boy.

The Third turned to Sakura. "Haruno Sakura, was it?" he asked.

Sakura nodded. "That it correct, Hokage-sama."

"You were present for the fight, correct? May I have your side of the story?"

Sakura instantly cast an angry glare at Naruto. "Sasuke-kun was injured by this monster for no reason!" she hissed.

Naruto clenched his fists hard, crushing the armrests on the chair he was sitting on. Who the hell was she to call him a monster based on one account of self defense?! Naruto wanted to yell in outrage, but he knew that it would do no good and make him look like a fool. Plus, Naruto knew that the Hokage had been watching the fight, as he constantly felt like he was being watched by someone or something that he couldn't quite identify. Naruto had felt this many times before, but it had taken him all of ten years to figure out exactly what, or rather _who_, it was.

Sarutobi narrowed his eyes for a split second. "But how can it be Naruto's fault if Sasuke initiated the attack in the first place? Wouldn't that count as self defense on Naruto's part?" Sarutobi made it sound like he was talking to a five year old, but even a child would know the difference between self defense and an outright unprovoked attack.

Sakura gulped hard, she had absolutely no way to back up her statement, having no proof that Naruto had actually attacked Sasuke.

This did not go unnoticed by the Sandaime. "I suppose you have proof of your statement, then?" he raised an old eyebrow.

Sakura just sank down into her seat. "N-no sir, I have no proof."

Sarutobi nodded, then turned to Kakashi. "And what did you see Hatake-san?"

Kakashi had been feeling kind of left out of the conversation, so he did what he always did when he was bored; he pulled out his porno book and started reading. But when his name was called it was like the book never existed.

"I heard Sasuke yell out 'fight me' and I saw a large crowd gather around Naruto and Sasuke, so I went to check it out. I would have stopped it, but…I was kind of hoping to see some of Naruto's abilities, since I have absolutely no idea what he is capable of. I didn't get to see much, though. Naruto walked out of the crowd, Sasuke came out after him and, as Naruto said, attempted to blindside him. Naruto countered the attack and slammed Sasuke into the ground, rendering him unconscious on impact, then tossed him into a patch of thorn bushes. He said something to Sakura, then disappeared." Kakashi finished his formal report, all traces of the slacker from this morning gone for the moment.

Sarutobi nodded. "Thank you, Hatake-san." then he turned to Naruto. "Well, it seems that you were not at fault, so there will be no charges leveled against you." Sarutobi smiled at little.

With Kakashi's report, the Council had nothing.

Naruto just nodded, then looked at his new sensei. "Is there anything else, Hatake-sensei?"

The masked Jōnin contemplated his answer for a second, then shook his head. "No, your training doesn't start until tomorrow. So you all have the rest of the day off."

Naruto nodded and stood to leave, then turned to Sakura and made his eyes glow while using a small amount of heavily concentrated killing intent on the girl, leaving her unable to look away. "The next time you see the Uchiha, give him this message: Do not start what you cannot finish...You'll live longer." with that Naruto walked out of the Hokage's office.

Sarutobi chuckled. 'Words to live by.' he turned to Kakashi. "If there is nothing else, you are dismissed."

Kakashi bowed and grabbed a still frozen Sakura, then exited the Hokage's office while dragging the girl behind him.

As Naruto exited the Hokage tower, one of his greatest enemies struck: boredom. Yes, Naruto Uzumaki, vessel and apprentice of the greatest demon in existence, was bored out of his mind.

"What to do, what to do, what to do..." Naruto began his boredom chant.

Kyuubi began to sweat, she knew this chant well. When Naruto said "what to do" thirty times in a row, he usually started pestering her, followed by acts of random destruction. He was sometimes joined in his rampage by the insane snake women, Anko.

**'I have to figure out a way to stop him! ...And fast, he's already at twenty-two!' **Kyuubi thought frantically, the closer Naruto got to thirty, the closer something got to oblivion.

Kyuubi knew that the villagers used any and all excuses to call for Naruto's execution, exile, or severe public punishment. And with the things he may do in his state of mind-numbing boredom, the villagers may very well get their wishes.

**'Come on Kyuubi! Think, think THINK!' **Kyuubi was poking herself in the forehead with one of her tails, the a proverbial light bulb went off in her head. **"That's it!" **she shouted out, but not meaning to.

Naruto stopped walking and chanting, stopping right at twenty-nine. 'Hm, what's it?' he asked Kyuubi, willing to listen to almost anything to get rid of his boredom.

Kyuubi grinned evilly. **"You could always get a date for the evening." **

Naruto would have choked on the air he was breathing...if he was normal. But, being not-so-normal, he just cocked his head to the side slightly.

'What now?'

Kyuubi sweatdropped. **"A date you know? Find a girl and go out with her, take her someplace nice. The movie theater, a restaurant, something like that." **

Naruto sighed a little. 'Kyuubi, you know I'm not allowed in those places. And even if I was, who wants to go out with the "freak"?' Naruto wasn't at all fazed by this, but Kyuubi was.

**'Sometimes I wonder how he can take all of this and still stay loyal to Konoha. I would've gone on a killing spree a long time ago, or at least left the village, but that's just me. He doesn't know of his father yet, so why does he stay? He says that he has no one to protect here, so why does he stay? He says he has nothing here but the hatred of the village, SO WHY THE FUCK DOES HE STAY?!' **Kyuubi began the growl without knowing it.

Naruto paused his walk and cocked his head again. 'Kyuu-chan, are you alright?'

Kyuubi smiled a little at her nickname. **"Yeah, Kit, just thinking about that snake bastard, Orochimaru, and what I'm going to do to him when we meet him." **Kyuubi began to cackle madly, making Naruto sweatdrop lightly.

'Okaaay. Moving on, do you have any other ideas besides a date? If not, I know a new restaurant in the village that's could use a skylight and a new paint job.' Naruto, being the great "artist" that he was, always thought that the interior color scheme of "Fuji's" was quite dull. And he'd be all too eager to add a...splash of color to the inside...EVERYTHING on the inside.

Kyuubi snickered at the thought of enraged and panicked humans covered in paint and not knowing who did it. **"Well Kit, I suggest you learn more about your armor, the cloak to be specific. There are certain techniques that you can do with the cloak to make them more effective."**

Naruto nodded and headed for his training area outside the village. He used his Shadow Walk technique to jump from shadow to shadow. It actually took longer than it would've with the Body Flicker, but Naruto wanted as much practice with the Shadow Walk as he could get.

**"You're getting much better." **Kyuubi commented. **"You went three-quarters of a mile with that last one."**

'I can go a full mile with the Body Flicker, so that's the benchmark to beat. So, you said something about techniques that can be enhanced with the cloak?'

**"Do you remember a technique called 'Thousand Eyes'?"**

"Vaguely. You only mentioned it in passing, and that was a month ago."

**"It was originally created so humans could literally have eyes in the backs of their heads, but you can put them anywhere you like. You can even put them on objects, as long as they can hold chakra to keep the technique going. The cloak would be a prime example. It's also perfect for Genjutsu that require eye contact, like the Tsukuyomi of the Mangekyo Sharingan."**

"Now there's a technique I wish I could use."

**"Well, I can't give you the Sharingan, but with the Thousand Eyes technique, you can create things just as terrible. You see, those types of Genjutsu use eye-contact to transfer small chakra 'seeds' directly into your opponent's brain. If these 'seeds' are allowed to grow and spread, things like the Tsukuyomi are the result. A single seed can be planted in only a fraction of a second, but, unless the user is extremely proficient with these Genjutsu and can transfer much more powerful seeds, one is normally not enough. This is why some Genjutsu may require prolonged eye-contact. **

**This is where the Thousand Eyes comes in. Each eye can be used to transfer a seed, and if your opponent's focus jumps from one eye to another, as it often does, you've got the potential for several seeds to be planted in the space of a few seconds, dramatically increasing the power of the Genjutsu will have over the opponent's mind." **

Naruto nodded, absorbing the knowledge like a sponge. But there was one small problem. Naruto had never bothered to learn any Genjutsu beyond the fairly basic ones, like the Hell Viewing Technique and Tree Binding Death, neither of which worked using eye-contact.

Of course, Kyuubi knew that. **"I've got a couple of illusions that pack quite a punch, but I'll show them to you later. You know, when we have an…**_**expendable**_** guinea pig. For now, let's just concentrate on the Thousand Eyes technique."**

(The Next Morning)

Naruto instantly sat straight up when he heard his alarm clock go off. He smirked under his mask; today would be a good day. And a good day for Naruto was fighting a challenging opponent and/or blowing things up...Preferably several-hundred things. Something came to Naruto last night for his potential fight with Kakashi. He could use many different technique without hand seals, and a ordinary human could not learn Demon Skills. And since Kakashi was just a human and the Sharingan could only copy hand seals and chakra flow, if Naruto stuck with his Fire, Wind and Darkness techniques, he'd be just fine. But Kyuubi had also told him not to show off too much, so he couldn't do something like "Fire Dragon Flame Missile" without seals, unless he wanted to attract attention to himself

And then there was the Uchiha. It was obvious that he was extremely power-hungry, and if Naruto showed just how large the gap between their powers was, the Uchiha would be furious and demand a fight or something else ridiculous.

Naruto warped his armor to his normal attire, he wouldn't need real armor since it was only training. And he was pretty certain that the cloak would be protection enough. Naruto checked to see if his traps were still set, then walked out the door. Naruto would have used the Shadow Walk if not for one important detail: he had no idea where Training Ground Seven was.

Naruto eventually found the clearing with a small stream going through it and a small red bridge going across it. He decided to have a little fun and used the cloak to mask his chakra, then his used the Shadow Walk to sink into the ground. Not enough to travel to the world known as the "Shadow Realm", but he stood right on the border between the two worlds, and he waited for his teammates to arrive.

It had been ten minutes, and Naruto was getting tired of waiting. But, just as he was about to come to the surface, he felt the Uchiha and the Banshee's chakra. He could hear them talking. Well, the girl was talking. The Uchiha was just trying his damnedest to ignore her. And failing, if his twitching left eye was any indication.

'Well, they are finally here, but I'll probably have to wait another couple of hours for Hatake-sensei. Hmmm...' Naruto thought for a second and came up with a plan.

Naruto made a Darkness Clone and sent it out to find the masked Jōnin's chakra signature.

The clone had found Kakashi staring at the memorial stone. The stone that held the names of all the most respected ninja to die in battle. The clone used the Thousand Eyes and extended part of its cloak, which was really just an extension of its own body, so he could look at the stone without getting too close. He found that Kakashi seemed to be staring at three names in particular: Obito Uchiha, Rin and Arashi Kazama. His old team and sensei.

'So, this is why he's late all the time. It's unhealthy to dwell on the past too much.' Naruto decided to give Kakashi a little push to get him to move.

He told the clone to use a voice displacement technique to whisper in Kakashi's ear and tell him to get moving.

Meanwhile Kakashi continued to stare at the memorial stone that held the names of his best friend, his first love, and his old sensei.

'I'm sorry I couldn't be there for you guys. I'm sorry I was so weak at the time. But never again...As long as I'm still breathing, I'll never abandon another teammate.' the silver-haired shinobi thought sadly, but with determination.

He then heard a whisper. It was so faint that he could barely hear it, but it was there.

_"Go to your new team. Your students need a teacher, otherwise they will die. Without you they will never be prepared for real missions. Dwelling on the past too much is not good for you, and in your case, for those around you as well. What if they are being brutally tortured and dying right now? Calling out to you for help? But you're too busy staring at a rock to notice anything. Someone is watching you right now, and could have killed you in a hundred ways by now. You call yourself a shinobi? Hah! You try to play it cool and aloof all the time, but on the inside you are nothing but a little wimp who still blames himself for something that happened over a decade ago. Get over it! It wasn't your fault. Now move your ass and show this new generation how to be proper ninjas!" _the whisper stopped.

Kakashi whipped around, frantically looking for the owner of the voice and the person it said was watching him. He neither saw nor felt anyone or anything, the area was completely empty of human life besides himself. He looked back at the rock with wide eyes. For some reason that voice reminded him of the Fourth.

'Hmmm, that certainly was odd...' he thought.

Then the whisper came back, sounding enraged this time. _"MOVE!"_ this time it really did sound like the Yondaime and Kakashi kicked into high gear, making a b-line for the training ground where his new Genin team was.

Sasuke was about one more "How about it, Sasuke-kun?" from strangling the pink-haired banshee. He was mentally praying for anyone to show up, especially Naruto, he had a way of shutting up almost anyone by just being there. And that was an ability that Sasuke desperately needed right now.

Just then a familiar scarecrow-like ninja appeared before them. "Yo." he greeted, not looking up from his little orange book.

Sakura's attention was momentarily wrenched from Sasuke. "YOU'RE LATE!" she shrieked, making Sasuke cover his ears.

Kakashi sweatdropped. 'Such a loud Genin...' he then looked around for his third Genin. "Hm? Where's Naruto?"

Meanwhile, said ninja was still underground, and slowly sneaking up on the Jōnin. He then used his the Jōnin's shadow to appear behind him.

"I was here ten minutes before the others." Naruto said in his normal monotone.

Kakashi jumped slightly, he hadn't felt the kid's chakra at all! "How did you-"

"Every ninja has his secrets." Naruto cut off Kakashi with a simple answer.

Kakashi nodded and walked away from Naruto, he wanted a little more distance between himself and the creepy Jinchuuriki.

He turned to face his new team with a hidden smile. "Alright, team, we will now begin your survival training!"

Sakura groaned while Sasuke merely intensified the scowl that had been on his face ever since he woke up. Naruto just shrugged.

"But we already did that in the academy!" Sakura protested.

Kakashi merely smiled. "Yes, but not this kind of survival training." Kakashi then took out two gold bells attached to a piece of string. "You have to take these from me." he then took out a timer and sat it on a stump. "You have until noon to do it. Those who can't get a bell will not eat lunch for today...And they'll also be send back to the academy for another year."

Sakura looked horrified. "B-but there's only two bells...and THREE of us!" Kakashi simply smiled.

"Exactly." you could almost see the question mark above Sakura's head. "Remember to come at me with the intent to kill, or else you won't get anywhere."

"But won't you get hurt sensei?" if Naruto could laugh normally, he would have been on the floor by now. Sakura was one of the weakest people he had ever seen, civilian or otherwise, and she thought she could hurt a Jōnin?

Kakashi just eye smiled. "BEGIN!" he shouted. Instantly, Sasuke and Sakura jumped away and into the trees to hide. But Naruto stayed where he was, just staring at Kakashi.

"Um...Naruto?" Naruto began snoring and Kakashi sweatdropped, along with boy's teammates.

'What the hell is that idiot doing?' Sasuke wondered to himself.

Kakashi shrugged and walked over to the boy and poked him in the forehead. Only then did he realize his mistake.

Naruto grabbed his arm and looked up into his face. "Gotcha." Kakashi seemed to phase right through Naruto's hands, slipping out of his grip and leaving a log in his place.

As he jumped back, Kakashi prepared an admonishing speech for his, he believed, overzealous student. Unfortunately, he was kicked in the ribs by a second Naruto before he even landed.

'What the hell?! Clones aren't supposed to be able to make physical contact!' these same thoughts were shared by Kakashi, Sasuke and Sakura.

Naruto simply smirked and removed his cloak, tossing it away. It quickly became apparent that he had to make a conscious effort to keep the cloak from lashing out at the Jōnin, and he couldn't afford to split his focus on this occasion. Besides, he had a plan for the cloak that required a bit of subtlety.

"What's wrong Kakashi-sensei? Having trouble with mere clones?" Naruto mocked.

Kakashi responded with a hard right hook to the face of a clone. He was completely caught off guard when the clone didn't disappear, but instead hit him back even harder, sending him into a tree.

"Was that the real one?" he wondered out loud.

Another Naruto came out of the tree behind him. "Nope, but I am." he kicked Kakashi, only to have his boot make contact with another log, shattering it into splinters.

Naruto looked at the Jōnin that was now fifty feet away and holding a kunai in a battle position.

"Hn, these are not normal clones, nor are they Shadow Clones. They are something on a whole new level; Darkness Clones."

Naruto crossed his arms over his chest and mumbled, "Fire Release: Fire Dragon Flame Missile." he took a deep breath, then unleashed a torrent of flames from his mouth, which took the form of a large dragon and sped towards its target.

**"What did I tell you about showing off?" **Kyuubi sighed.

'WHAT?! How did he do that without seals? How could he do it in the first place? How does he even know that technique?!' Kakashi thought frantically, barely avoiding the burning dragon. 'What _is_ this boy?'

Naruto smirked under his mask. "Kakashi-sensei, don't you dare run from me! Stand and FIGHT!" Naruto roared as he charged forward with his easily Jōnin-level speed.

He seemed to disappear before his sensei. Kakashi didn't even have time to lift up his forehead protector before Naruto was on him. He blocked a powerful blow with is forearm, nearly breaking it in the process.

'What the hell?!' Kakashi thought, this boy was way too powerful to be completely human, let alone a mere Genin!

Things really began to pick up when Naruto began close range combat. He went for a kick to Kakashi's head, which was, as he predicted, blocked. He used the recoil of his strike to spin in the opposite direction with tremendous speed, catching Kakashi off guard and nailing him in the head with a knee.

Kakashi rolled along the ground a couple of times from the force of the blow, his head feeling like it had been used to forge a sword. As he rolled back to his feet he saw Naruto and his clones were gone. He heard a low whistling noise and he ducked on instinct alone.

Just as he did this something flew over his head, shaving a bit of hair off the top. Kakashi immediately took out a kunai and slashed out at whoever was behind him, but he cut nothing but air. Apparently, the air didn't like that, as it seemed to retaliate with a slash of its own, putting a rather deep gash in the Jōnin's forearm.

Kakashi looked back for a split second and saw Naruto behind him with his right arm held up like a sword. There was an obvious distortion in the air around his arm, from which the odd whistling noise was coming.

The Jōnin rocketed forward as Naruto drove his arm into the ground where Kakashi had been milliseconds before.

Naruto saw Kakashi prepare to throw a couple shuriken, but he knew he couldn't pull his arm back and jump away in time. So, he released to air from its chakra prison and it surged outwards, causing the ground around Naruto to explode into the air, creating a cloud of dust and sand.

Kakashi, startled by the sudden explosion, missed his target completely. The deadly pieces of metal sliced through the air and lodged in a tree, right by Sasuke and Sakura's faces. This caused one to scream and fall out of the tree, and one to just stare at the other and shake his head.

Kakashi tried to use this opportunity to lift his forehead protector, but he was once again interrupted by something. This time, it was a black tentacle that came out of the ground and tried to grab him. Kakashi jumped back, only to have another one sprout out right in front of him. The two tentacles did all they could to crush the scarecrow, but couldn't match his speed.

'Hm, he's fast. I can see why he was an ANBU Captain. But let's see how he deals with this.' Naruto thought as he watched his new human sensei avoid the tentacles.

The writhing appendages suddenly stopped moving, prompting Kakashi to do the same and watch them from, he believed, a safe distance. He wasn't even going to chance trying to lift his forehead protector, as it seemed something bad happened everytime he went for it.

The ends of the tentacles split opened up to reveal grotesque mouths with vicious-looking teeth, spiny miniature tentacles, and copious amounts of drool.

'Oh shit.' Kakashi thought.

The tentacles shot a yellow-ish green slime out of their mouths, thus forcing Kakashi to resume the deadly game of cat and mouse.

One of the slime balls hit the base of the tree that Sasuke and Sakura, who had only just climbed back into her previous perch, were watching the fight from. It began to eat through the trunk at an alarming rate, burning halfway through the tree in mere seconds. The tree leaned the to side and began to fall, Sasuke and Sakura still in it.

Sasuke immediately darted out of the tree and into another one, while Sakura just followed her crush as best she could.

Kakashi took out two kunai and charged the tentacles, dodging globs of acid as he ran at tremendous speed. When he reached them, they lashed out, trying to sink those jagged teeth into the human's flesh. Kakashi twirled in mid-air to avoid the jaws of one tentacle and he cut it deeply with his kunai as it sailed by him. The creature roared loudly as it spewed disgusting, thick, purple blood all over the Jōnin. It fell to the ground and dissolved into black dust, which sank into the dirt.

"This is just sick." Kakashi said as he tried to wipe some of the slimy blood off, but only succeeded in smearing it. "You're getting a kick out of this, aren't you, Naruto?" he muttered.

The remaining tentacle lunged at him, but he jumped at the last second. Executing a picture-perfect corkscrew back flip over the creature, Kakashi drove both kunai into it as he came down, using gravity to aid him in pinning the creature to the ground. Kakashi found that the tentacle was quite...squishy. He jumped back to avoid another spray of viscous purple blood, then he flashed through a sequence of handseals and took a deep breath.

"Fire Release: Great Fireball Technique!" Kakashi unleashed a massive fireball on the pinned beast, burning it to a crisp.

Up in his new tree, Sasuke was seething more than usual. 'That's an Uchiha technique! Why does he know it?'

Kakashi looked around for Naruto, but found no trace of him at all. His eye widened when he felt the ground beneath his feet rumble and shake. He jumped into the air just as five Naruto replicas launched out of the ground below him.

The clones followed the Jōnin up and one by one they engaged him in Taijutsu.

Kakashi was not accustomed to fighting in mid-air, as it was hard to concentrate when you're falling.

The clone Kakashi was currently facing threw a horizontal kick at his head, but he tilted back to avoid it and caught the clone with a solid kick to the chin. Kakashi righted himself as he hit the ground and the clones were instantly on him. He dodged a punch from one of them and drove his elbow into the back of its head as it passed, sending it into the ground.

Another clone went for a sweeping kick, but Kakashi jumped over its leg and spun around to deliver a vicious kick to its temple. This would have counted as a fatal blow, affecting the large chakra storage unit located in the clone's head just as it would a real brain. But, instead of rupturing blood vessels and the like, the storage unit ruptured, leaving the clone unable to retain its form and causing it to dissolve into black dust.

Yet another Naruto used its own body to produce a rather long kunai and tried to stab Kakashi with a downward strike, but the Jōnin used a replacement at the last second and the clone ended up staking a log to the ground. Kakashi appeared behind the clone and grabbed it by its chin and the back of its head, then twisted hard. After a sickening snap/crunch, the clone twitched a little and Kakashi feared that he had killed the real Naruto. But "Naruto" then fell limp and dissolved, showing that it was indeed a clone.

Kakashi around and noticed that he still had three more clones to deal with. The one he had kicked in the air was back, and the one that he had elbowed was getting back up. Kakashi noticed that the last clone was hanging back slightly, and he deduced that it was the real Naruto.

Before he could say anything, the "Naruto" that he had driven into the ground earlier was in front of him in the blink of an eye. The clone threw a hard right hook at the masked ninja, but he blocked it with his forearm and winced a little, as it was still bruised from when he blocked the real Naruto's kick. The clone was strong, but nowhere near strong enough to be the real Naruto. Kakashi grabbed the clone's arm, then grabbed the other one when the clone tried to retaliate. The clone struggled for a bit, then leaned back and swung its upper body forward, headbutting Kakashi. Said shinobi let go of the clone, which then hooked its foot around the back of Kakashi's neck and kicked downward from its position, driving Kakashi into the ground, where he went "poof".

"A Shadow Clone?" Naruto mumble from his position. He had used his cloak to disguise himself as a large rock near the edge of the training ground.

Kakashi blurred into existence behind the Naruto clone and prepared to break its neck like he did with the other one. But the clone caught on to him and black spikes sprouted from its back, nearly impaling Kakashi.

Kakashi jumped back, only to run into another clone and be kicked in the back and sent flying forward into the spiked back of the other clone. Just before he was made into a human pincushion he used a replacement and a log was skewered instead. But this log had two explosive notes attached to it and it blew up before the clone could even register what had happened. It was blown into a tree, where it impacted head-first, leading to its "death".

'One more clone to go.' Kakashi thought as he looked at the two remaining Narutos, one of which he assumed was the real one.

Both Narutos looked at each other and nodded, then charged forward at amazing speeds. That was when Kakashi knew that neither of them was the real Naruto, as his speed was around mid-Jōnin, but these Narutos were both at high Chūnin. In other words, nothing he couldn't handle.

The clone went for a tandem attack, one jumping and going for the head and chest, the other going for the legs. Kakashi smacked one away with a hard backfist, then went for a roundhouse kick to the other's head. But the clone grabbed his foot at the ankle, spun over it one-hundred and eighty degrees and pulled him forward while extending its right leg and kicking backwards, planting its foot in Kakashi's face. The clone then threw a disoriented Kakashi at the other clone, which had recovered from Kakashi's strike.

Said clone was charging towards the airborne Jōnin with an Air Cutter ready to slice him in two. Kakashi saw this and he knew what that wind blade could do, but he couldn't counter it in his position, so he decided to take a big risk, one that could cost him his arm, or worse.

Just when the clone was about to chop him into confetti, he grabbed the clone by its bicep. The clone tried to cut him to get free, but Kakashi spun and flipped the clone over his shoulder and smashed it into the ground. Kakashi kept his grip on the deadly arm and placed his foot on the clone's armpit, then jerk its arm up, dislocating the shoulder and making the clone deactivate the wind blade. But the clone did not scream out in pain, it just looked at Kakashi, accepting defeat and waiting for his next move.

Kakashi looked over and saw the last clone coming at him with another wind blade and he put the clone he was still gripping in front of him as a shield. The other clone cut through its companion without hesitation, and it split at the waist before dissolving. But the horizontal swipe left the clone open for an attack, which is exactly what Kakashi had planned. He used something he had copied from the legendary medic, Tsunade, and gathered chakra into his fist and punched the clone while releasing the built up chakra. Its face caved in slightly and it flew into a large rock near the edge of the training ground.

Kakashi followed the clone when he noticed that it was still "alive", as it hadn't dissolved yet, and readied another "Tsunade God Punch". He sent the fist through the clone's head and finally reduced it to dust, but Kakashi knew something wasn't right. His fist had also gone through the rock, but not how it should have. It was like it sank into the rock, then he noticed that he couldn't pull his arm out.

A section of the rock pulsated, the only warning Kakashi received before a fist flew out of it and hit him square in the jaw, nearly breaking it. The "rock" released him and he flew back nearly fifty feet, then tumbled along the ground for another thirty. Kakashi knew that it was the real Naruto this time, only five people had ever punched him like that: The Yondaime, Tsunade, Gai, Rin, and Naruto. And as far as he knew only one of them was here at the time.

Naruto stepped out of the "rock", which proved to really be his cloak, and clapped.

"Good, very good, Hatake-san. You have beaten the clones, but would you like to see how you fare against the real thing?" Naruto said as he held out his arms, beckoning Kakashi.

Kakashi had two reasons he was not using the Sharingan in this battle. One: He would never live it down if it got out that he had used his secret weapon against an academy graduate, no matter how powerful he was. Two: Everytime he went to uncover the eye, something bad would happen. But Kakashi decided that things were only going to get worse if he didn't use the Sharingan, and Naruto had some interesting moves that he may be able to use in the future.

'Screw it, my reputation will driven into the ground anyway if I get beaten by someone fresh out of the academy.'

Just when Kakashi was about to lift up his forehead protector, he noticed that he couldn't move his arm.

"What?" he looked down only to see a black mass covering his hand and forearm. As he stared at it, several eyes opened up all throughout the mass, each one staring right back at him.

'What is this? A Genjutsu?' Kakashi though about trying to break it, but then the mass began to move further up his arm, the he noticed, this thing had weight to it. Whatever the hell this thing was, it was real!

Kakashi fought hard to regain control of his body, but then another black mass latched onto his other arm and slowly moved up like its counterpart. Then Kakashi noticed his shadow seemed to be gradually growing darker. Two more black masses encased his feet and moved up his legs, a little faster than the ones on his arms.

'Shit, shit, shit, SHIT!' Kakashi thought frantically when not a single plan of escape coming into his mind.

Naruto suddenly appeared before him. "Tsk, tsk, Kakashi-sensei. Such a simple trick, at least for me, but you still fell for it. And don't bother with trying to break this, it's not a Genjutsu." Naruto emphasized his statement by having the dark masses squeeze Kakashi's arms and legs, making him grunt in slight pain.

The mass had finally covered Kakashi's arms and legs completely, but stopped there. Then Naruto's cloak reappeared on his body and began to shift and morph. It grew a mouth with hundreds of razor-sharp fangs, all moving around inside its jaws in a similar fashion to teeth on a chainsaw. It released a low growl and extended from the cloak to rise high above Kakashi's head. The silver-haired ninja idly noticed that the thing resembled the tentacles that he had fought earlier in the battle.

"So, do you give up?" Naruto asked.

Even with the mask, Kakashi could tell that the boy had a glint in his eyes. And it told him that the wrong answer would mean a shitload of pain.

"...Never. I will protect my comrades, no matter what. I will never abandon them." Kakashi answered.

Naruto smirked under his mask. "Good. If you had answered differently, you would have never had children." Kakashi cringed.

The masses that held Kakashi receded back into Naruto's own shadow, and the cloak resumed its facade as a harmless, though creepy, accessory.

It was then that the timer rang. "Well, it looks like you all fail." Kakashi dusted himself off, but while doing it he noticed two things. First: the bells were missing. Second: his Icha Icha Paradise book was missing as well.

He looked alarmed for a second then he looked at Naruto, who reading the book with one hand while spinning the bells with the other.

"I don't understand you adults. As far as I can tell, you're all perverts." Naruto closed the book with a snap and tossed it to Kakashi, who caught is and checked for damages, then put it in his pocket again.

"So, when did you get the bells?" Kakashi was genuinely curious, he hadn't even felt him get the things.

"Hm? Oh these, I got them right after Uchiha-san and Haruno-san went into the trees and you poked me in the forehead." Naruto continued to toy with the bells.

Kakashi's visible eye widened. "What, how? I didn't even feel it. And if you had them, why did you continue to fight me?"

Naruto looked at him. "What's the one shadow no man is ever suspicious of?"

Kakashi thought for a second, then it hit him, literally, something hit him in the leg. He looked down to see a tentacle coming out of his own shadow. It "waved" at him then went back in.

Kakashi looked back at Naruto. "His own."

Naruto nodded. "Correct. The reason I kept fighting you was so that I could see if you were worthy of your Bingo Book status. A test if you will."

Kakashi was shocked, no one below Chūnin in rank should have had access to a Bingo Book. But he shrugged it off. From now on, nothing that Naruto did would surprise him.

"And?" he asked.

"You passed."

Kakashi nodded, then Sasuke and Sakura appeared from their hiding places. Sasuke glared at Naruto while Sakura just moved behind Sasuke, hiding from Naruto, who she now labeled as some sort of demon.

"Well, team...you failed." Kakashi deadpanned.

'WHAT?!" both Sasuke and Sakura yelled, Naruto just smirked, he saw Kakashi's game.

"Hold it, sensei." Naruto then tossed both bells to his teammates, parted his cloak, and got into a fighting stance. "Now that they're safe, we will continue our fight so that I may earn my position."

Kakashi smiled. "Well, in light of new developments...you pass!" Sasuke and Sakura facefaulted.

"WHAT?!" they both screamed again.

Kakashi's smile widened. "This test was to promote teamwork, and it's obvious that Naruto was the only one who got that. This was a simulation, of sorts. If you were on a real mission, the bells may have been important scrolls or something, and I would have been a enemy ninja. What he just did would be the same as passing you two the scrolls and staying behind to fight the enemy and keep them from catching up to you. He would have made a tough decision for the good of the team and the mission." he explained to his two confused students. "Even though it is against protocol to 'play hero', remember this: Those who don't follow the rules are trash, but those who abandon their comrades are worse than trash."

It was then that Sasuke decided to start his "How'd you get so powerful" rant. He walked up to Naruto and grabbed his cloak.

"Where did you get that kind of power?" he hissed.

Naruto just looked at the Uchiha. "You'll never be able to get it, so why bother asking?" Naruto's cloak then shoved Sasuke to the ground. "And don't touch my cloak...You might not get that arm back next time."

Sasuke jumped to his feet and yelled. "I will find out how you got so strong, even if I have to beat it out of you!" he charged at Naruto like the arrogant fool that he was.

Naruto just sighed and grabbed his wrist, flipped Sasuke over his head and slammed him into the ground again.

As his vision swam and consciousness slowly faded, Sasuke heard Naruto say these words: "You need to stop that 'I'm better than you because I'm an Uchiha' bullshit. Your clan name and your bloodline don't mean shit to me, nor will it mean much to most of your future opponents. You want the power to beat your brother? Then do as everyone else does, and work for it." then Sasuke was out like a light. Naruto turned to Sakura. "Haruno-san, take him to the hospital." the girl nodded, picked up Sasuke and ran. Normally, she would've struggled just to get Sasuke onto her shoulders, let alone run with his added weight. But fear caused the body to produce adrenaline, and adrenaline was awesome like that.

Kakashi sighed and shook his head. "Well, someone doesn't play well with others."

"Is there any reason I should? If I need some extra bodies, I've got clones. Those two are useless." Naruto scoffed.

"They are still your comrades, regardless of what you think of them."

"You and your 'comrade' bullshit. If you aren't the biggest hypocrite I've ever laid eyes on, I don't know who could possibly rank higher than you." Naruto all but snarled.

"Excuse me?" Kakashi's eye narrowed as he turned to full face his student. He began to subconsciously radiate a bit of killing intent as his anger rose.

"You heard me. You say those who would abandon their comrades are worse than trash, but I have to wonder if there aren't some exceptions in your mind. Afterall, you had no problem abondoning me six years ago." Naruto said, completely unfazed by the man's glare or his killing intent.

Kakashi recoiled as if physically struck by the words. "Wha-What?" he stammered, his mind reeling with the implications.

"Perhaps you should see a doctor, as it would appear that you're going deaf." and with that, Naruto vanished in a puff of black smoke, leaving Kakashi to stroll down memory lane by himself.

XXXX

And it's done!

Yeah, there's a bit of bashing, and there will be more, but you've gotta admit that I'm not as bad as some. Plus, my bashing is far from senseless. If a character is being dragged through the dirt, there's a reason for it. And many of them will get their chance at redemption.

Also, tell me what you thought of my fight scene. I don't write those a lot. In fact, the fight scenes in the original Tamer of the Hazard were some of my first, at least of that kind. My specialty lies more with firefights than fistfights. That might seem kinda odd, considering I'm into MMA, but that's actually the problem. When you're watching it, MMA isn't really that exciting. Every once in a while, you'll see something cool and unique, but those moments are few and far between. Trust me, when you're in the ring, you are NOT thinking about theatrics and giving the fans a good show. That's what pro wrestling is for, pure entertainment. You're thinking about the quickest way to take your opponent down, and keep him down, while taking minimal damage yourself.

With that kind of mindset, it's pretty difficult to make an exciting hand-to-hand fight scene. That's why the ones I've written before were more "Saving Private Ryan", less "Gorgeous"(relatively old Jackie Chan movie with some of the best hand-to-hand fight scenes I've ever seen).

Chapter three coming whenever I get some more free time and get my arm to work properly again!

Jason Out!


	3. The Black Soul

And I am back with another chapter!

I've gotten some reviews about having Hinata in the harem, or in those cases taking her out. Well people, you have nothing to fear! I myself don't like Hinata's personality, but, for some reason I can't fathom, I like the couple. But I'm going to give her a complete makeover to make her more fitting to Naruto's personality, or lack thereof.

I'll be doing that with quite a few characters in the series, so it's all good.

XXXX

Naruto was standing on the Hokage Monument, atop the Fourth's stone head. He stared out over the village, torn between wanting to admire its beauty and wanting to destroy it. He knew that with enough of Kyuubi's chakra and a few well placed Blackfire Dragons, he could take out half of the village then leave before anyone knew it was him. It would be so easy. The rest of the village would have thought he was obliterated by the dragons, and the blame would most likely be put on Uchiha Itachi, who was well known for his "Amaterasu" attacks, which created black flames that burned through anything and could burn for hours, maybe even days, if left alone. Naruto could then run away to a another village, no, another country all together!

But why should he do that? Going to another place with strangers that he knew nothing about. At least in Konoha he knew who almost everyone was, and he knew what many of their weaknesses were. For example; most, if not all, men Konoha were perverts. And they could be put out of a battle by a simple clone with a Henge to make it look like a supremely attractive nude female. Naruto had no idea if other countries or villages had "Anti-Pervert" laws or anything. Maybe children were trained not to be fooled by such simple tricks.

Besides, Naruto could no longer really say that he would want to escape from the hatred and fear he got in Konoha.

"Let them fear me, let them hate me. It's not like they can do anything about it." Naruto said out loud.

**"Don't get cocky, Kit. Remember what I told you." **Kyuubi said in a matter-of-fact tone.

Naruto snorted. 'The only people in this village that could ever defeat me are Gai, Kakashi, Hokage-sama, the Jiraiya of the Sannin, Mitara, Mirano, and perhaps the Twins." Naruto finished his limited list.

Kyuubi then thought of something. **"Hey, what about the blonde woman with the huge breasts? Isn't she one of the Sannin also?"**

Naruto shrugged. "With her pathetic hemophobia, she will be easy to take care of if the time comes." he continued to look out over the village. 'Hm, I wonder when my..._team_ and I will get our first missions.' Naruto still wasn't all too familiar with the concept of a team.

**"Don't get too excited, Kit, they'll just be D-class missions until your human sensei deems you worthy of higher ranks. And with those two Genin, that might take a while, especially the Banshee." **Kyuubi said.

(Six Hours Later)

"...What to do, what to do, what to do..." Naruto began his boredom chant again.

**'Oh, Kami, not again!' **Kyuubi groaned. She had to think fast. **'Dammit! He does this at the most inopportune times! Come on, THINK!...I've got it!' **Kyuubi finally got an idea that may prolong the existence of some random object for at least a while. **"Kit..."**

Naruto stopped in mid chant. 'Hm?'

**"I have an idea."**

'I'm listening.'

Kyuubi grinned evilly. **"Go find the pale-eyed girl that's always stalking you, and the crazy woman with the purple hair and the trenchcoat."**

Naruto rose an eyebrow. 'Why?'

**"Simple, so you can seduce them and get laid." **

Naruto sweatdropped heavily. '...Come again?'

**"And hopefully again and again."**

Naruto sighed. 'Not what I meant, Ero-kitsune.'

Kyuubi acted like she was insulted by the comment. **"Me, a pervert? You must be joking! One as awesome as myself has no need for perversion."**

Naruto sighed. 'I don't care what you say, you're still a pervert in my book.'

Kyuubi giggled. **"Aw come now, admit it; you find the idea of me being a pervert incredibly hot."**

'...That my be so, I won't deny it, but I am not one to act upon my desires.'

Kyuubi scoffed. **"Bullshit. What about your desire to destroy things?"**

'I'm fairly certain I got that from you.'

**"...Alright, what about your desire to pull immature pranks on random people?"**

'Remnants of my childhood, but they are still strengthened by your own nature. You're a prankster at heart, as are all kitsune, according to the legends.'

**"True...How about your desire to fight strong opponents?"**

'Okay, I'll give you that one. But damn near every male ninja on the planet has the same desire. We always seek to test our power against an opponent at least on par with us.'

**"Well, since you've suddenly become 'Mr. Morality', I'll have to think of something else for you to do...How about you go find your human sensei and ask him about missions?"**

Naruto perked up, well, if you could call him raising an eyebrow "perking up". 'Hmm, this might prove to be entertaining.' he thought as he searched for Kakashi's chakra signature. He eventually found it, which wasn't all too hard. Kakashi had an alignment with the Lightning, which was very uncommon in Konoha. Now if he had an alignment with Earth or Fire, then he would have been damn near impossible to find from a distance.

Naruto had found Kakashi inside of the local adult book store. He waiting by the side of the door, using his cloak to hide himself as a part of the wall. The masked Jōnin eventually walked out of the store, holding the next volume a "Icha Icha Paradise" and giggling perversely.

"Hello, Ero-sensei." Naruto took this moment to make his presence known.

Kakashi literally jumped fifteen feet in the air, bounding across the street and whirling around to face his would-be attacker. Only to see his creepy, freakishly strong, masked student. He immediately hid his little orange book behind his back.

"Naruto! Hello to you too! Umm...What are you doing here? We have no missions today."

Naruto stayed in the shadows created by the roof over the entrance of the store, only his white mask visible, which made it look like Kakashi was talking to an ornamental mask hanging on the wall for display.

"That's exactly what I wanted to talk to you about. When are we getting our first missions?"

"Well, after what you did to Sasuke, I'd say...the day after tomorrow."

Naruto scoffed. "What, the great Uchiha survivor can't take a few hits?"

Kakashi tilted his head a little. "Well, you slammed him into the ground quite hard. He's only a Genin."

"And? So am I." Naruto answered.

In his mind, Kakashi was screaming, 'BULLSHIT!' but he kept his thoughts at bay. "You can drop the act around me, we both know that you are on a whole different level than Sasuke and Sakura. You very nearly shattered the boy's ribcage when you treated him like a ragdoll." Kakashi was not about to bring up his own ass kicking.

Naruto chuckled darkly, as if he could do it any other way. "What? I thought that a member of the 'great' Uchiha clan could take at least that much of a beating and still fight, I guess I was wrong."

"Regardless, he's still a Genin. High Genin, maybe, but a Genin nonetheless."

"So? He has an ego fit for a Kage, yet he has nowhere near the amount of power, skill and experience that would entitle him to such arrogance. If I want to fight a true Uchiha, I guess I'll either have to wait for Sasuke, or seek out Itachi. But, in waiting for Sasuke, I'll only get stronger, so he'll never be a match for me. In a few thousand years, maybe, but neither of us have that long. I did us all a favor and I took him down a few pegs. It wasn't enough in my opinion, but it's a start."

Kakashi nodded, he could clearly see and agree with the boy's logic. "Fair enough. But what do you mean by a 'true Uchiha'?"

"I mean a power-hungry bastard that will go through anyone and do anything to get what he wants. Itachi did just that, by killing his best friend and gaining the Mangekyo Sharingan. But Sasuke did inherit one thing from his family; obsession. All Uchiha were obsessed with something, even Obito and Mikoto; two of the few Uchiha that were generally liked. Their obsessions were to a much lesser extent than that of others, but they were still present. Most Uchiha are obsessed with power, like Itachi, and gaining the Mangekyo. But none of them ever could, because they had no friends. Obito had the chance to gain it, by killing you, but he wasn't obsessed with power, and neither was Mikito. This leads me to believe that those two were not pure-blooded Uchihas, but that is of no importance at the moment." Naruto finished his little speech.

Kakashi was stunned, this kid really knew his history. "What do you mean Obito was obsessed with something?"

Naruto rolled his eyes behind his mask. "For a Jōnin, you aren't very observant, are you? You should have noticed something. Something he always talked about? Something he always stared at when he walked by it? Something he told you he always dreamed about? It could have been anything, but the records show that he was obsessed with ramen. Which, incidentally, was the main cause for him being on the short side."(1)

Kakashi scratched his chin. Now that he thought about it, he had never seen someone put away as much ramen as Obito had. And whenever Arashi-sensei would take them out for the seasoned noodles, Obito would jump for joy and act like an idiot.

Before he could say anything, Naruto spoke again. "I just came here for my initial question, so I'll leave you to your perversions. Until our first mission, Ero-sensei." with that Naruto sank into the shadows and disappeared.

Kakashi narrowed his eye a little. "Hmm, interesting boy. Creepy and antisocial, but interesting nonetheless." the Jōnin went back to his book, giggling every few seconds, earning him strange looks and glares from most females. He had seemingly forgotten about his "conversation" with the Queen of Foxes.

Naruto was back in his apartment, bored out of his mind yet again. "What to do, what to do, what to do..." he muttered.

Kyuubi sighed. **"Hey Kit, how about some of my...'Special Training'?" **she grinned evilly.

Naruto snorted. "I would, but I don't want to be killed again...and again and again." Naruto almost shuddered at the thought of the torturous hell that Kyuubi called "training".

**"Aww, come on Kit, I won't be too rough on you this time, I promise!" **if only Naruto could see her puppy-dog eyes.

What Kyuubi defined as training, most described as bottom circle of Hell itself. Her program included fighting her while she was in her human form and almost nude, throwing off Naruto's concentration horribly, then teasing him about it while kicking his ass. During the training, she and Naruto often fought on pieces of earth floating over spike and/or lava pits, or on top of the spikes themselves, using chakra to keep from being impaled. But with Kyuubi's rather large...assets jiggling all the time, Naruto was often skewered. Sometimes Kyuubi would leap on top of him and attempt to seduce him, then stab him, saying that it was a test. Naruto knew it was just in case an enemy kunoichi tried to seduce/kill him, but he thought she could have gone about it in a less...painful way.

'I will not fall for your tricks a fifth time, devil-woman!' Naruto said to the demon fox.

**"That's devil-QUEEN, and you will eventually. You always do." **she smirked.

Naruto just grumbled something about treacherous, evil fox-women.

**"I'm not evil!" **Kyuubi protested, **"I'm just misunderstood." **if Naruto could see her she'd be in a corner in chibi form with a spotlight on her and weeping while drawing little circles on the floor with her finger.

'...' Naruto really didn't know how to react to that, so he did what he always did in those situations: he cocked his head to the side and said nothing.

(Two Months Later)

Naruto was as close as he had ever been in his life to going psycho on everyone and everything in a ten mile radius. He was currently on a joint mission with three other teams: Team Ten, Team Eight, and Team Gai.

Kyuubi shuddered at the memory of how her vessel met the spandex clad freak and his three students.

(Flashback - Two Hours Earlier)

Team 7 had just been to the Hokage's office to get a new mission. D-class, of course. They were to be working with Teams Ten, Eight, and a team that they hadn't heard of called "Team Gai".

Naruto knew that "Team Gai" was actually Team Nine, still in circulation from last year's Genin class, but his info on them wasn't very extensive. Rock Lee was a Taijutsu expert that could barely use chakra. Neji was a typical Hyūga, a Branch member, whose ego had been massively boosted from all the praise he regularly received from the entire Hyūga clan. Tenten was the only female of the team, and a weapons expert that specialized in ranged combat. Overall, Lee was the only member of the team that drew any interest from Naruto, as he had trained with him a few times in his younger years.

Kakashi visibly paled when he heard the name "Gai", but, at the time, only Kurenai and Asuma had any idea why.

They were told to meet the other teams and their senseis at the Training Ground Twenty-Seven, and so they did.

When they had arrived they were immediately greeted by a Jōnin in a green spandex bodysuit.

"HELLO KAKASHI, MY ETERNAL RIVAL! I SEE YOUR FLAMES OF YOUTH BURN AS BRIGHTLY AS EVER!" the man shouted.

Kakashi just looked up from his book. "Hm, you say something Gai?" he asked lazily. Naruto could see he had earplugs in.

The response seemed to have set Gai off even more. "AHH, YOU AND YOUR YOUTHFUL WIT!" Gai was in tears now.

Then his mini-me student shouted at almost the same volume, "DO NOT WORRY, GAI-SENSEI! YOU WILL DEFEAT HIM ONE DAY!"

This was the catalyst for one of the sights that would be burned into Naruto's mind forever.

Gai turned to his little clone. "OH LEE!" he shouted and ran to his student.

"GAI-SENSEI!" Lee ran at his teacher.

"LEE!"

"GAI-SENSEI!"

"LEE!"

They met each other in the middle, then the "Genjutsu" activated. The background turned into a sunset on a cliff with splashing waves.

Naruto made the correct seal under his cloak and whispered "Kai", but nothing happened.

'What the hell?'

**"Oh, Kami-sama, that's not a Genjutsu...It's all real!" **Kyuubi shrieked.

Naruto had to put a stop to this, and quick!

As teacher and student began hugging each other and crying, the sun in the background turned into a giant red eye that glared rusty daggers at them.

The 'Brow Brothers turned to the eye and whimpered, then they heard a low growling noise. They looked over and saw the cloaked form of Naruto towering over them, as they were on their knees. The eyes slits of his mask began to glow a menacing icy blue. His cloak seemed to be going crazy and was warping into different shapes; tentacles and things of the like.

"Separate...**NOW!" **Naruto finished with a demonic, chakra enhanced growl and glowing crimson eyes.

The spandex freaks instantly broke apart and stood on opposite sides of the clearing, still in tears.

Naruto snorted and walked over to a tree and leaned on it while everyone stared at him. He had managed to do, with two words, what others couldn't with entire speeches.

When everyone snapped out of their stupor Kakashi cleared his throat and spoke.

"Well, I guess introductions are in order." he said.

"But Kakashi-sensei, we already know everyone here except for them." Sakura gestured to Team Gai.

Then, in a rare display of "effort", the ever lazy Shikamaru Nara spoke up. "Ah, but there are those here that we know nothing about, even though they were in our class." he said, obviously talking about Naruto, and to some extent Shino.

Naruto just growled, then uncrossed his arms. Everyone was looking at him expectantly. Naruto snapped his fingers and the ground behind him erupted in red and orange flames. The flames morphed and contorted into a solid shape, then disappeared as suddenly as they came, leaving behind a throne that looked fit for the God of the Void himself. Naruto sat down in it and crossed his legs and rested his head on his right fist, which was propped up on the armrest.

"Carry on." heart monitors had more tone variance...

"YOSH! KAKASHI, IT SEEMS THAT YOUR STUDENT BURNS WITH THE FIRES OF-ah screw it, let's just do this and get it over with." Gai said, surprising everyone.

"NO, GAI-SENSEI! THE UNYOUTHFUL ACTIONS OF THE CREEPY ONE HAVE DOUSED YOUR FLAMES OF YOUTH! YOU MUST TRAIN TO REKINDLE THEM!" Lee shouted while punching the air a couple of times.

The rant did the trick, unfortunately. "YOSH, YOU ARE RIGHT LEE! WE MUST TRAIN TO KEEP OUR FLAMES BURNING BRIGHTLY!" he shouted and they hugged...and cried.

Everyone looked at Naruto, pleading to for him to stop the freaks.

Naruto sighed. "I doubt I can get them to stop without killing them, but I guess I could try...again" he stood from his throne.

The cloak morphed into a monstrous mouth with teeth that looked to be ripped straight from the jaws of a shark. Gai and Lee's sobs turned into small whimpers of terror as they looked into the gaping maw, hugging each other tighter.

"If you don't separate right now, neither of you will ever have children." the cloak monster gnashed its teeth and drooled.

"Y-you can't d-do that! It would be treason!" Lee said.

Naruto looked at him. "Treason, or a public service?"

"Public service." everyone else said.

"UNYOUTHFUL PEOPLE!" both Lee and Gai shouted as they let go of each other.

"Whatever." Naruto's shark thing turned back into his cloak, until it had to be used to threaten someone else's manhood.

"Okay." Kakashi spoke again, "Foregoing introductions for now, what are your missions? Ours is to track down the Lady Shijimi's cat, Tora."

The man with the cigarette was the first to speak. "Ours is to find a group of ten academy students that escaped from Iruka during a field trip."

The red-eyed woman was the next. "We're helping Team Ten."

Next was Gai. "We are to apprehend a villager's three children." for once Gai didn't shout.

Kakashi nodded. "Alright Asuma, Kurenai, Gai, I guess we're all in this together." he sighed, he hated working with Gai.

(End Flashback)

Kakashi tapped his earpiece and called out to the teams.

"This is Ero-Cyclops, is everyone in position? Over."

"This is Banshee Pink, I'm in position. And Naruto, I hate you, over."

"This is Emo-King, I'm in position, over."

"This is Super Brow, I'm in position, YOSH!...I mean, over."

"This is Mega Brow, I'm in position, over."

"This is Panda, I'm in position. And Naruto, I also hate you, over."

"This is Emo-Prince, I'm in position, over."

"This is Chain Smoker, I'm in position, over."

"This is Banshee Blonde, I'm in position. Naruto must die, over."

"This is Pineapple, I'm in position, over."

"This is Barbeque, I'm in position, and my codename is making me hungry, over."

"This is Red-Eye, I'm in position, over."

"T-this is S-Stalker C-Coat Girl, I-I'm in position, o-over." well, she didn't have to wonder if Naruto knew about her favorite pastime anymore...

"This is Kibble Breath, I'm in position. Naruto, when I get my hands on you...over."

"This is Insecticide, I'm in position, over."

Kakashi sighed at the codenames, but one person didn't answer. "Abyss? Abyss, do you copy? Abyss?"

"...Cat...Must...DIE!...Over."

Kakashi's eye widened. "Shit! Everyone, code black, CODE BLACK!" he ran to Naruto's location.

"DAMMIT!" everyone else swore as the ran to Naruto.

They heard chuckling over the radio. "Here kitty, kitty, kitty...I won't hurt you...I'LL END YOU!"(2)

They heard a loud crash, followed by another, then another.

"Hm? Hey, get back here with that little hellspawn! I've found the kids, they have abducted the lint ball. I WILL FIND YOU!"

Everyone sped up, they didn't much care about the cat, but the kids were another story. They arrived at Naruto's assigned position, only to find several trees leveled and other decimated greenery.

"Where'd he go?" Sakura inquired.

They heard several loud screams; the children.

"What the...? Did you just throw a rock at me? Silly child, your weapons cannot harm me! Don't you know who the fuck I am?! I'm Naruto, BITCH!"(3)

They heard more loud crashes.

"Come on, we have to stop him!" Kakashi rushed towards the noise, followed closely by the others. When they arrived, they saw Naruto had all thirteen children and the cat cornered and the shark/cloak thing was back, but it was much bigger.

"Naruto, stop!" Kakashi yelled.

Naruto turned around, the eye slits of his mask glowing red.

"...At least let me kill the cat." he said in a semi-demonic voice that made them all cringe.

"No, Naruto, no killing. It's very bad for business. Besides, you have a bad enough...reputation as it is, don't give the villagers and the Council a reason."

Naruto narrowed his hidden eyes at his sensei, then released his control on the cloak. He calmed himself down and looked at Kakashi.

"Well, the mission is complete, so I have no more reason to be here. I'm going to train, if you need me...Well, if you need me, you're shit out of luck I guess."

Team Seven all had a collective eye twitch. "Where can we find you if something comes up?" Kakashi asked.

"I'll find you. But if you simply _must_ see me, ask Old Man Hokage, he knows where I train." with that Naruto walked into the shadow of a tree and disappeared from sight.

Neji activated his Byakugan, but he saw no sign of the boy aside from faint traces of dark purple chakra. He knew that wasn't normal, but nothing about Naruto was normal as far as he knew.

(The Forest of Death)

The deadly forest was oddly quiet and peaceful. No screams of unnatural animals as they were devoured by...well, anything. Even the plants could eat you in this place.

A fluffy brown rabbit hopped through the forest. Everything seemed normal about it, except for the fact that it was the size of a large wolf, had four yellow eyes, horns and razor sharp teeth and claws.

There was a sudden scuttling sound, like something sliding across the ground one multiple legs. The rabbit thing's ears twitched and it hissed at its surroundings. As soon as it made a sound and massive forty-foot centipede lunged from its cover and wrapped its body around the rabbit. It sank its scissor-like fangs into the mammal's neck, then plunged the rest of its legs into the body.

Blood poured out of the wounds, accompanied by a thick pale-yellow liquid: venom. The rabbit gurgled out its last breath before the centipede wrenched its body to the side, but held its head in the same place, thus snapping its neck.

The massive chilopod proceeded to devour its prey, and within minutes the only evidence that the rabbit had even been there was bits of fur, blood, and its head.

This is the scene the Naruto appeared in. He scanned the area for any potential enemies and predators. His eyes locked on to a giant centipede that was quickly scuttling in his direction.

As soon as the centipede felt it was being watched it reared up, bringing a fourth of its body off the ground and compressed the multiple air sacs hidden throughout it's segmented body, producing a loud hissing sound as a warning.

Naruto just stared at the creature before he took a step forward, then another, and another, until he was right in the thing's "face". He stared into its miniscule eyes, not blinking. The centipede stopped hissing and leaned in slightly.

Naruto pointed at the forest behind the chilopod. "Go." he said simply.

The centipede seemed to almost nod, then dropped its body to the ground and scuttled off in the direction Naruto had pointed out.

Ever since Naruto had become a half demon he could communicate with certain animals to an extent. Anything that was at least semi-intelligent, he just had to stare into its eyes for a few seconds and he could implant his thoughts into their minds, telling them what he wanted.

Naruto thought of this as a useless ability, but then he had seen the Aburame and the Inuzuka clans in battle, and decided that it might be good to have at least one animal companion, he just didn't know what.

Kyuubi, of course, had insisted on a fox. She detested wolves and most other canines, so they were out. Neither Naruto nor Kyuubi liked snakes, so no go there. Naruto had once asked about dragons, but Kyuubi had said the ones the were still alive were very, very hard to find. She had told him that he would need the summoning contract for dragons if he wanted to get anywhere without being eaten, but not even she knew where that was.

Naruto looked around at the blood the centipede had left behind and he had found the head of a Rabbit Imp, one of the lowest level demonic animals. But they had their uses.

Naruto went over and picked up the head, then stuck a finger into its neck. "Hmm, still warm, only a few minutes old. Perfect."

Naruto then jammed his thumb and index fingers into the socket of the bottom left eye of the Rabbit Imp and ripped out the now golden eye. He pulled out a small vial and popped the top on it, then crushed the eye and poured the dust that was left into the tube, then opened a portal to the Shadow Realm and deposited it.

You see, the main use for a Rabbit Imp was its eyes, but only one eye in particular. After it dies, the bottom left eye of the creature becomes solid like a rock, and when turned into powder it can be used for many things. Like curing illnesses, upgrading weapons, poisons, or it can just be sold for a hefty price. Rabbit Imps may have been weak by demon standards, but the big ones were almost impossible to take down for a normal human. A High Chūnin wouldn't have much problems, and a Jōnin could pick one off in a second, but they were only found in one place in Fire Country, and that was the Forest of Death. They liked to hang around the S-class sector of the forest for some odd reason, as being surrounded by predatory creatures that are stronger than you seemed like a bad idea to most. So it wasn't the Imps themselves that kept people from coming after them, it was the other inhabitants of the forest that got people worried.

After Naruto had dropped the vial in, he let his hand hover over the portal. A sheathed odachi suddenly shot up out of the portal and into his hand before he closed it. The sheath was made of a black metal that appeared to be polished, yet reflected no light. The hilt of the sword was black like the sheath, but had nine diamond shaped crystals embedded in it. The first two nearest to the hand guard were red, but the rest were white. These indicated how much of Kyuubi's chakra Naruto had absorbed: two tails' worth.

Naruto looked around a clearing, channeling chakra into his eyes and scanning the surroundings. With the modifications Kyuubi had made to his body, namely making him a half demon, simply gathering chakra into his eyes produced an effect similar to the Byakugan.

Naruto found nothing and decided to start training. "Darkness Clone Technique." he muttered.

The shadows of three trees extended towards Naruto until they were about five feet from him. They spread into a circle, like a puddle, then receded back into the tree line. The puddles bulged and warped as large lumps rose out of them, like the dead rising from their graves. The lumps began to take on a human form, turning into copies of Naruto. The clones tilted their heads to look at their master and their target.

Just when Naruto was about to take off his cloak, he sensed something up behind him. He didn't even bother to turn around, he just sighed when he heard a female voice.

"NARU-CHAN!" said female proceeded to glomp the masked boy.

"I told you not to call me that, Mitarashi-san." Naruto sighed again.

The purple haired Tokubetsu Jōnin just rubbed her cheek against Naruto's mask.

"And I told you to call me 'Anko', so we're even." Anko grinned.

Naruto groaned inwardly as he felt Anko's hand slowly creep up towards his mask. He just grabbed her hand and pulled it down, but then she tried to use her other hand, and he pulled that down too. But Naruto knew that wouldn't stop her from getting his mask off, she would just use her snakes to take it off.

Naruto often wondered what was wrong with his cloak, as it would decimate anything that got too close without his permission, but it did nothing to Anko. He had discovered her 'immunity' to his defense about a month ago, the same day he had gotten his sword: the Black Soul.

(Flashback)

Anko Mitarashi was bored out of her mind. Her first Genin team had failed with flying colors a few weeks ago, and now she had nothing to do. She hadn't gotten a solo mission in days, but that was somewhat fine with her. She had to do solo missions, as no one wanted to work with her because of her violent tendencies and her shady past.

But the solo mission were hardly ever anything big, but she would still be stuck out in the forest for days at a time. And though she'd never admit it, she was lonely by herself, and slightly paranoid at times.

As Anko was walked down the street she did what she always did when bored: play with sharp objects. She reached into her kunai pouch to grab one, but found that she was running low, so she stepped into the weapons shop she was passing.

She looked around the inside and whistled, every type of weapon you could imagine was in here. Swords lined the walls; from the lightning fast rapier, to the massive zanbatō. Anko herself was looking back and forth between a katana and a nagamaki.

She looked towards the counter and sweatdropped when she saw Asuma staring at a pair of shiny new trench knives that were on display. His trademark cigarette hung limply from the side of his mouth, and he seemed to be drooling a little.

She also saw a boy wrapped in a cloak with a hood and wearing an Hunter-style mask. Anko grinned, it was her frequent 'partner in crime', Naruto Uzumaki. She then decided to sneak up on him.

As she got within range, Naruto spoke. "I wouldn't try that, Mitarashi-san." he said, but it was too late. Anko already had her arms around him and had her chin resting on his head.

"And why's that, Naru-chan?" Anko asked, starting to enjoy the feeling of the pulsating cloak against her.

Naruto rose and eyebrow. 'Strange, the cloak doesn't react to her at all.'

**"Well, the cloak can detect even the most miniscule amounts of killing intent and malice. If the snake woman can get past it, than she has no intention of causing you harm. That's my theory anyway, maybe the cloak just likes her, it IS sentient you know." **Kyuubi gave her opinion on the matter.

'Great, I know she's going to use this to her advantage.' "Well, Mitarashi-san, I was going to warn you about my cloak, but it seems it doesn't mind you being near me."

Anko blinked, then looked at the cloak, which looked back at her and blinked as well. This almost caused her to scream and recoil, but she had a reputation to keep, so she just continued to stare.

"Um..."

"When you're me, it pays to have eyes everywhere." Naruto said.

Anko, of course, knew exactly what he was talking about. She knew about the Kyuubi and the seal, but she didn't care, she liked having someone like her. Someone who knew what she went through, though she knew Naruto had it much, MUCH worse than she ever did. She knew for a fact that her worst day was still many times better than Naruto's best in the past.

She liked knowing that she wasn't alone in that aspect, and she loved the idea of the village outcasts sticking together. After all, being the village pariah was a lonely position.

Anko nodded, then rested her chin on Naruto's head again. "So, whatcha' lookin' for, Naru-chan?"

Naruto groaned mentally. "Don't call me that, Mitarashi-san. Just call me 'Naruto', or at the very least 'Uzumaki-san'."

Anko just smirked. "Don't call me 'Mitarashi-san', just call me Anko for once."

"Hn. Anyway, I'm looking for a sword." Naruto said while poking a katana in front of him, then slightly shaking his head.

"Oh? I didn't know you could use a sword."

"There are a lot of things that you don't know about me, just as there are many things I don't know about you." Naruto poked another sword, shook his head and moved on.

"What are you doing?" Anko rose an eyebrow.

"Channeling demonic chakra into the blades to see if they can handle it." Naruto moved on to the next blade.

Anko's eyebrows almost disappeared behind her bangs. She took a close look at one of the swords that Naruto had poked and noticed a tiny, almost unnoticeable warp in the metal, showing that it had been melted by intense heat.

Naruto was about to test another sword, but then his cloak went crazy. Black tendrils lashed out from random places and grabbed an katana in a pure black sheath. The tendrils retracted with the sword and placed it in Naruto's hands, then shifted back into the cloak.

"...Odd." Naruto said, then examined the sword.

He noticed that the hilt was a couple of inches longer than a normal katana, and the blade was longer than normal by a foot. This made the total sword five feet long, just seven inches short of Naruto's height.

"An odachi, haven't seen one of those in a while." Anko commented.

Naruto just nodded and unsheathed the sword a little, only letting a couple inches of the pitch black blade show. But he felt something that made him freeze: demonic energy.

'What is this?'

**"Oh no." **Kyuubi groaned.

'I assume you know what this thing is?'

**"Yes, it's called the Black Soul. It was forged in the Underworld by a legendary weaponsmith by the name of Hidoro Jirobi. He was actually a human, but because of his talent in weapon making, he was offered a deal by a high level Archdemon called Infernal. He would be made into an immortal, but he would have to make weapons for demons for all eternity. Jirobi, elated at the prospect of being able to do what he loved forever, accepted the deal. That was over five thousand years ago. The Black Soul was his very first 'masterpiece', as everyone called them. **

**An extremely powerful demon by the name of Bankuro had been killed in battle with another. He was the ruler of one sector of the Underworld, and his son, Karoki was to take the throne. But he was young and had no idea what to do, but he was smart. Karoki went to Jirobi and asked him to make a sword worthy of his father's soul, so he could keep him as a guide in life. But when the blade was finished, another soul had already deemed it worthy and claimed it. Gamerus, a demon almost as powerful as I was back then, had lost a battle to an ancient warrior from before the time of the elemental countries, called a Knight. The demon's soul had escaped before his body was destroyed, and it scoured the Underworld for hundreds of years, trying to find a suitable vessel. It kept itself 'alive' by consuming the souls of dead demons that were still floating around, and after many decades of this, it gained enough power to rip the souls from still living victims. **

**Then it came across Jirobi's new sword and managed to seal itself within it, corrupting the blade and making it a weapon of pure evil. But no one knew of this, and the sealing of Bankuro took place as planned. But during the sealing, both demons' souls battled for claim of the sword, but they were equals in power. The battle raged on within the blade for fifty years, and during that time Jirobi had managed to make a sword of equal quality to the original: the Shining Soul. He tried to extract one demon from the Black Soul sword and put it into the other. During that attempt, Jirobi had managed to grasp the soul of Bankuro, and it was enough of a distraction for the Gamerus to gain the upper hand, forcefully ejecting Bankuro and destroying his soul. Karoki, enraged beyond all rational thought, tried to destroy the sword with the Shining Soul, but underestimated the power the demon had outside of the blade. It obliterated Karoki's body and his soul was drawn into the Shining Soul's blade. **

**Jirobi knew the swords would cause problems, as one held a demon of pure evil, and another held a demon of nobility and honor. Karoki may have been defeated, but he did managed to strike a crippling blow; he had taken a large portion of Gamerus' power with him into the Shining Soul. The souls within the two swords were constantly trying to battle each other. One because it wanted revenge, the other because it wanted its power back. So, when every wielder of the blades was made into a slave of the souls within the weapons, they would always seek each other out to do battle once more. These two swords eventually morphed into manifestations of the soul within them. One a regal-looking masterpiece, the other a grotesque juggernaut. These two swords eventually became known as the Soul Calibur and the Soul Edge. **

XXXX

HA! Bet no one saw THAT coming! But I hope you like it all the same.

I don't want to give much away, but I needed Naruto to have a weapon that would allow him to fight a God. I believe my version of the Soul Edge is that weapon.

To all people that will ask in the future: Yes, I will be a few other characters from Soul Calibur in this fic, but not many. Nightmare, Tira and Inferno for sure. I don't own Soul Calibur by the way, but the new story behind the swords is all mine!

(1): As much as I don't like Naruto's personality in the series/manga, I had to give it to someone. Might as well be someone that's "dead".

(2): Interesting fact: When Naruto is mad, he becomes more normal. He's sadistic, bloodthirsty, and turns into the kind of guy that will make fun of you while stomping your ass into the ground.

(3): I was listening to an MP3 of "I'm the Juggernaut, Bitch!" when I was writing this. Not as awesome without the video, but still funny.

Jason Out!


	4. You Can't Outsmart A Fox

Wassup people? I'm back with a new chapter and all that good stuff.

I want to tell people now that there are going to be a lot of things in here from other anime, movies, manga, and other media. But this isn't really a crossover fic, at least not in the "traditional sense". And rest assured that all the things I implement will be given sufficient backstories and explanations to fit right into the Black Flames Universe. Be warned, those backstories may be radically different than what's canon in that other anime, movie, etc, as you'll see in this chapter in regards to the Soul Calibur series.

Disclaimer: I'll leave you guys to guess what I own and what I don't. It doesn't take a genius.

XXXX

**What you are holding now is the Black Soul, the first form of the Soul Edge, but it has not awakened yet. It still needs a 'key' of sorts to unlock its powers. But when you do unlock them, it is important that you never listen to anything it says. It will try to manipulate your mind and use your emotions against you. It will want you to kill and harvest souls for it, but you mustn't do it. Once you do, you will not be able to stop, and you will kill everything that has a soul, friend or foe, it won't matter to you. You will be driven insane, and once you have outlived your usefulness, it will force you take your own soul, then it will inhabit your body and seek out its counterpart." **Kyuubi finished her slightly terrifying tale.

'So, where is its counterpart?'

**"No one knows, it's been lost in the Underworld for thousands of years. It was thought to have been destroyed, but if it had, the Black Soul wouldn't exist. It would be the complete form of the Soul Edge, and the human world probably wouldn't be here."**

'So, is there a reason I shouldn't destroy this thing?'

**"You couldn't. Even I would have a very hard time trying to destroy that thing. But with its power, mine, and your own, you can become the most powerful being in this world."**

'But you said this sword is pure evil, why would I want to wield it?'

**"Technically, it is evil to the core, but it is just running on instinct. What happened between Karoki and Gamerus happened so long ago, the two souls don't even remember it. They don't even remember their real names. All they know is that they must fight each other. The soul within the Soul Calibur doesn't know why it's eternally pissed at the Soul Edge, but it can't help it. The soul in the Soul Edge just knows that a part of itself is in the Soul Calibur, and it wants it back. If the wielder can override the will of the souls within the swords, the instinct that is driving them will be nullified. This means the only thing keeping both souls on this plane of existence will be no more and they will pass on, leaving the wielder their power. If you can overcome the will of the Soul Edge, you will gain its power and be free of its curse."**

Naruto looked at the black blade and swore he saw a glint, even though it reflected no light.

'The power of the Soul Edge...will be mine. I will not be a puppet.'

(End Flashback)

Naruto stared at his sword for a couple seconds, then mentally snorted.

'Do what you will, Soul Edge, I will not be anyone's puppet. I will control you.'

Naruto then heard a sinister chuckle in his mind. _"Hehehehe. We shall see, boy. Very soon, we shall see."_

**'So, it calls out to him already? Things will get very interesting for us...Naruto.'** Kyuubi grinned insanely, something she rarely did. The prospect of her and Naruto together, going up against the legendary soul demon itself, was very exciting for her.

Naruto registered that Anko was still hanging onto him.

"Mitara-" Naruto was cut off when Anko squeezed him tighter as a warning. "Anko..." Anko smiled. "...san." Anko groaned.

"Yes, Naru-chaaaaan?" Anko drawled, earning a mumble from the masked Genin.

"Why are you here?"

"You know I always hang out in the Forest of Death. It's where you met me, remember?"

"Yes, how could I ever forget?" Naruto said sarcastically.

(Flashback-Naruto's Eleventh Birthday)

Naruto was running from an enraged mob of Konoha villagers and more than a few shinobi. As it was customary every October tenth to try to kill the "demon".

Naruto, tired of the lame game of cat and mouse, ran into the Forest of Death, heading straight for the most dangerous sector.

"Let's see them get through this." Naruto smirked as he heard the first few screams of pain and horror.

He guessed a bit of his demon side was showing, making him actually want to double back and watch them all get slaughtered. But then he would also be a potential target for the deadly creatures that gave the forest its name and reputation.

So Naruto kept running deeper into the forest. Bounding from tree to tree, avoiding the unnatural animals along the way.

He eventually stopped and leaned against a tree, taking time to regulate his heartbeat.

"Well, well, well, what do we have here? If it isn't Fox-Boy." a female voice said from above Naruto.

He stiffened and leapt from under the tree, turning to face any attackers.

"Relax, kid, I ain't got nothing against ya'. I know what you're going through." said the voice.

"Who are you? Show yourself or be killed." Naruto threatened coldly.

The voice just laughed. "You? You're not even out of the academy yet, and you think you can threaten me?! HA!" a tall purple haired woman stepped out of the shadows on top of a tree branch.

"Mitarashi Anko." Naruto relaxed somewhat. "I was almost worried for a minute." he smirked at the reaction he got.

Veins bulged out of Anko's forehead. "What was that?" she hissed in a very snake-like way.

Naruto relaxed even more. "You heard me, snake charmer."

This struck a nerve with the Tokubetsu Jōnin. She considered herself to be a master of snakes, second only to the snake bastard Orochimaru himself. To be called something as low as a 'snake charmer' got under her skin.

The woman jumped down from the tree branch and landed in front of Naruto, who took two steps back and slipped into a Taijutsu stance.

Then she did something that Naruto wasn't expecting: she laughed. "Hahahaha! I like you kid, you've got guts, talking to someone like me that way." she held out her hand. "I think we can be friends."

Naruto rose an eyebrow and cocked his head to the side. "'Friends'?"

Anko resisted the urge to facefault. "Yes, you do know what a friend is, don't you?"

"I'm familiar with the word, and I've seen people who are 'friends' with others, but I do not understand the concept behind it."

Anko walked up to him a looked Naruto right in the eye slits. "You're shittin' me, right?"

Naruto cocked his head even further to the side, causing an audible pop. "I am not familiar with that expression."

Anko sighed and put her arm around Naruto's shoulders. She took note of the fact that he flinched at the contact and stared back and forth between her and her arm.

"Kid, let's take a little walk." with that Anko basically dragged Naruto deeper into the forest, explaining the concept of friends as best she could. She completely ignored the fact that she should be the last person to talk about friendship.

After that, Naruto had agreed to become her friend. And it was also the start of Anko's little game. Everytime she saw him after that she would try to either get a reaction out of him, or take off his mask. To date, she has never succeeded in either, but Naruto has scared her half to death many times. Whether it was unintentional or not remains to be verified.

(End Flashback)

After that night Naruto tried to find out more about Anko. He used an advanced Henge and searched the ninja archives of the library. He found out that she was once the apprentice of one of the legendary Sannin, and Konoha's second most famous traitor: Orochimaru. That she had a borderline obsession with dango, which was ironic considering she shares the name of two ingredients in it. Naruto also found that Anko was quite sadistic and bloodthirsty, and often worked alongside Ibiki Morino as an interrogator.

Anko was considered to be a 'party animal' and loved social events, which was sort of in contrast to her attitude. Naruto concluded that it was because she was actually lonely and enjoyed the company. After what Anko had told him about friends, Naruto figured he should be there for her and help her as she had him.

So, after finding out her birthday was October twenty-eighth, he checked her usual hangouts, but found her at home. He had spent the entire day with her, just listening to her as she told him parts of her life, and occasionally giving advice. Which was something they both found ironic. Half the time Naruto didn't even know what to do with himself, yet he gave good advice to others.

"So, back to my question." Naruto said.

"What question?" Anko asked innocently.

Naruto knew she was just doing it in an attempt to aggravate him. "Why are you here?"

Anko seemed to think it over for a minute, then snapped her fingers. "Oh yeah! Old man Hokage wanted to see you. Something about threatening children."

Naruto sighed, he knew this was coming. "Hang on." he told Anko as he used the Shadow Walk.

Seconds later they were in front of the Hokage's desk, and Anko was wobbling while trying to stand straight.

"Dammit Naruto! A little more warning next time?!"

Naruto just shrugged. "I told you to hang on. Besides, we've done that before, so you should be somewhat used to it by now."

Anko glared and was about to say something, but she was stopped by the Sandaime clearing his throat.

"Ah, thank you Anko-san. You are dismissed." the old man said.

Anko nodded, turned and disappeared in a puff of smoke, but not before sending one last glare at Naruto, promising a little payback.

"Naruto, take a seat."

"I'll stand, but thanks for the offer."

Sarutobi sighed. "Suit yourself. I have several complaints about you and your actions today."

'What, like breathing?' Naruto was temped to say this out loud, but decided against it. "And what would those be?"

The Hokage sifted through some papers. "Let's see...Says here you threatened some children, tried to kill them actually, and Toro the cat."

"I tried to kill the cat, the kids took the cat, and I tracked them down. I don't care what you say, that cat must die." Naruto's eyes flashed red for a second.

"Indeed...Anyway, just tell me what happened."

"Very well, my team and I were on a joint mission with teams Eight, Ten, and Team Gai. We were assigned to track down and return, for the third time in two weeks, Toro the cat. After two hours of searching I found it, and was about to end its days of tyranny, but then the children came a took it away before I could do it."

"Why were you so hell-bent on killing the little lint ball?" Sarutobi asked.

"Well, I had just recently been introduced to Mighto Gai and Rock Lee, and that furball decided to torment me again. I'm sure you see my problem. I knew of those two, but I never met them in person...In all honesty I thought they were only rumors."

The Hokage nodded slightly, he remembered the last time he had seen Lee and Gai together. Not even he could get rid of that Genjutsu.

"So, you weren't going to harm the children?"

"Those kids were in no danger from me, I just wanted the cat."

"Very well then, you are dismissed."

Naruto nodded and turned to leave, but then looked at Sarutobi over his shoulder. "If my team ever has another mission involving that cat, I'm going to put it down." then he sank into his shadow and left.

The Hokage only had one thought running through his mind at the time. 'Why do people always go for the door, then not use it?'

Naruto appeared back in the part of the Forest of Death he had been in originally and summoned three clones again.

"Now back to business." Naruto took off his cloak and unsheathed the Black Soul.

The clones just absorbed their cloaks and activated their Air Cutters. Naruto had found out when he first started training with the Black Soul that it couldn't be replicated because of the metal it was made of.

"You all know what to do." Naruto got into a Kenjutsu stance that he had learned from Kyuubi: the Doragon Hakaisha(Dragon Destroyer)style. It was a versatile style that relied on speed and precision to strike vital areas before the opponent could react.(1)

"Yes sir." the clones said.

Two clones jumped away, leaving one clone and the real Naruto. The clone charged its creator and tried to lop off his head with a high horizontal slash. But Naruto ducked and thrust his sword into the clone's gut. Or he would have if the clone hadn't used a replacement.

The Darkness Clone can use any technique its creator knows, provided it was supplied with enough chakra. But with each technique done, the clone weakens and the number of blows it can take lessens.

The Darkness Clone charged forward once again as Naruto flung the log to the side and raised his odachi and prepared to cleave the clone in two, but then it suddenly jerked to the said as a massive shadow fell over Naruto. He looked back as saw that one of his clones had cut down a tree and it was about to fall on him. He looked ahead again and saw another tree with its trunk split into a "V" shape.(2)

Naruto just stood his ground and let the tree fall. The tree continued to fall, and it looked like it was going to crush Naruto. But then it stopped two feet above his head, caught in the "V" tree. Naruto smirked and jumped on top of the fallen tree, which all three clone appeared on as well.

"Let's begin." Naruto said.

The clones nodded, then two sped off in a zigzag pattern towards their target, with the third charging straight ahead.

Naruto ducked under an Air Cutter swipe from the clone on his left, and blocked the one on his right. He seemed to have left himself open to an attack from the middle clone, but just when it was about to stab him, he lashed out with a leg and kicked the clone in the chest.

The clone tumbled to the end of the tree and stayed still, seemingly incapacitated. The other two clones weren't too happy about that and they double teamed Naruto. They slashed and stabbed at him, but hit nothing but air as Naruto seemed to just glide in between strikes with unnatural grace and speed.

The clones backed off when they saw they couldn't hit Naruto, or so it seemed. The real reason they backed off was because they knew that their "brother" was using the Shadow Walk to get below Naruto for the Darkness version of the Earth Release: Inner Decapitation Technique: the Shadow Guillotine.

Naruto felt someone grab his legs and he immediately knew what was going on. He tested the clone's grip as he saw the other two charge him. He suddenly jumped forward like he was going to roll, but instead he did a handspring flip. Since the clone was still hanging on, it was ripped out of the shadow and tossed at its brothers.

But the clones were masters of teamwork, despite who their creator was. They turned their Air Cutters into spears so they wouldn't cut and the tossed clone landed on them. It created a shield of chakra around its feet to protect it, then the other two clones released the air trapped inside their spears. The explosion rocketed the third clone towards Naruto at about twice its normal speed.

Naruto's eyes widened a bit at the incredible display of teamwork. But this little distraction was enough for the flying clone to land a solid blow to Naruto's jaw. Combining the natural strength of the clone with its momentum, that punch was packing about three times the force it would normally have.

The hit sent Naruto tumbling like a rag doll, but he quickly regained his footing and slid to a stop. He cracked his neck twice and muttered something incoherent. Due to the Kitsune Battle Armor Biosuit Naruto's mask absorbed most of the blow to his face, but his neck didn't have that luxury.

'Alright, sword training can wait, I want to hit something.' Naruto re-sheathed the Black Soul and dropped it into his shadow for storage.

Naruto slipped into a Taijutsu stance that he had created himself. It combined three different styles that Kyuubi had taught him to make the perfect style.

The first style was called the Royal Guard style, which focused on defense and countering. The main purpose of the style was to absorb the energy from an opponent's strike and use it against them. It worked like this: Whenever someone hits something, the main force behind the strike is the kinetic energy it carries. The Royal Guard style took that energy and stored it in the user's own muscles, which the user could release at any time. This also stole the force behind the blow, leaving the strike useless. The user of the style could use the built up energy to utterly destroy an opponent. But the style had many major flaws. One: if an opponent was faster than you, the style would be rendered almost useless. Two: it relied solely on defense, and offensive attacks were only effective with released energy. Three: it also relied on the opponent attacking first. Four: if someone used many chakra enforced blows, the amount of energy stolen would eventually become too great and it would escape violently from the user(i.e. exploding within them).

The second style was called the Dragon Claw style. It had power, but was relatively slow and lacked any defense whatsoever. This was because it was created by dragons, and they had no real need for defensive moves with their natural scale armor. They were also relatively slow, so their Taijutsu style would be made for slower users. Plus, without some kind of clawed gauntlet type weapons, the style lacked the true power it was supposed to have. The Dragon Claw style may have been slow, but all it took was one hit and it was over for almost any opponent. And with Naruto having both natural claws and clawed gauntlets, he could use the style to its fullest. The main downside of the style was that if the user moved too fast, they wouldn't have enough time to build up the maximum amount of power possible.

And the third style was called the Ghost Shadow style. It by itself was perfect for Naruto, as well as shinobi in general. It used stealth, speed, and precision to strike opponents in vital areas before they could react, and sometimes before they even knew you moved at all. Kyuubi had informed him that it was the style used by the original ninjas of ancient times long before the elemental countries. It had been lost to most humans for many millennia, so Naruto would most likely never encounter someone else who knew it unless they were also a demon vessel. The Ghost Shadow style had its faults, however. It had next to no power behind most strikes, and against armor it was all but useless. It also had no real defense, as the purpose was to attack and kill before the enemy knew you were there, and if they did you had to be faster than them. But for head-on battles, there was a sub-style called the Glider style. As its name suggests, it allowed its users to use unnatural grace and speed to glide and weave through enemy attacks, hit vital points, then duck out and repeat the process as needed.

Kyuubi had said the only style that was even remotely similar was the Gentle Fist style of the Hyūga clan, and the Blood Fist style of the Orasu clan. The Orasu were a mutation of the Hyūga, and their Blood Eye allowed them to see the circulatory system of an enemy instead of the chakra coils. They used chakra strikes, like the Hyūga, to close veins and cause blood clots in victims. In many ways, they were actually more dangerous than the Hyūga. You could open a closed tenketsu by flooding it with chakra. Given it was painful as hell, but you do what you have to do. But only a medical technique could get rid of a blood clot, and if left for a long time, could cause permanent damage to body tissues. Also, you could hide your chakra from a Hyūga by suppressing it, but you can't hide your blood an Orasu.(3)

By combining the Royal Guard, Dragon Claw, and Ghost Shadow styles into one style Naruto had created one of the only perfectly balanced Taijutsu styles: the Phantom Devil style.

Naruto held his hand out, beckoning his clones. "Come on." he commanded.

The clones looked at each other and nodded, then disappeared from sight. To the normal, untrained eye, they were all but invisible. But to Naruto, they were moving in slow motion. Naruto had been used to running at high speeds for years, developed by running from mobs of enraged villagers and ninja on a regular basis. He had found out the hard way that running that fast gave untrained eyes tunnel vision. In order to counter this Naruto had trained until he could see things moving at fast speeds like they were turtles. It worked like a charm. When he ran, things were no longer indistinguishable blurs. It seemed like he was moving at normal speed, but the rest of the world was moving at a snail's pace.

Naruto saw one clone going for a sweeping kick to his legs, another about to cut his head off, and the last was behind him about to ram its hand through his chest. Naruto jumped high into the air to avoid all three strikes, but two clones weren't so lucky. That clone that was behind him got its throat cut, and the one that had tried to slice him got an Air Spear to the left lung. Both clones twitched and gurgled before dissolving and the last clone cursed and jumped away.

Naruto appeared behind the clone and it tried to hit him with a back kick. Naruto bent at the waist to dodge it, then took it a step further and did a back flip kick that caught to clone square in the chin. As this would have broken a person's neck, it counted as a fatal blow and the clone exploded into black dust as it hit the ground below the suspended tree they were on.

Naruto sighed and made five more clones, hoping that their numbers and teamwork would give him a decent challenge. This time Naruto charged at the group of clones. Two of them jumped away and hid in the forest canopy, but the other three's reaction time was a fraction of a second too slow and Naruto descended upon them.

The clones already knew that the only way they would even lay a finger on Naruto and not get killed was to work together. They each fought Naruto with his own Taijutsu style, but they each used a different component of it. One clone used the Royal Guard style, another used the Dragon Claw style while growing its nails into claws, and the last used the Ghost Shadow style. This allowed them to move both separately, and as a single being. This kept Naruto constantly on his toes, ducking and weaving through attacks.

Naruto was so engrossed in his sparing, that he didn't notice he was being watched. A pair of pearl-like eyes watched the masked boy from a tree a hundred feet away.

'Naruto-kun...He's so strong. I wish I had even a fraction of that kind of power...Then maybe father would be proud of me again.' Hinata continued to spy on her crush.

She had no real idea why she liked the dark boy so much, but she did. She had seen him in the academy one day and something made her want to study his every move. She found herself captivated by his almost unnatural grace; it was amazing to her. She also noticed the way he carried himself. He had an air of confidence and power around him. And his aura showed he was actually trying to hide his real power, but wasn't putting too much effort into it.

Hinata had followed the boy one day, which was insanely hard considering he disappeared without a trace regularly. The upside to this was that Hinata's stealth and tracking skills were through the roof. Hinata had tracked Naruto to a training ground that she had no idea existed. It had no sign to tell people where it was or what number it was, and it was in the A-class sector of the Forest of Death. She assumed it was Naruto's own private training ground, one that no one else knew about. She had seen the way he trained, she had seen his new Taijutsu style, and she had seen the incredible power he had displayed.

Hinata often mused that Naruto might have been putting on a show just for her, but she knew that was impossible. She knew that Naruto wouldn't notice her. Hell, Naruto rarely acknowledged anything around him more than necessary.

Hinata had a pretty good idea as to Naruto's skill level. He was at least a high Jōnin in her opinion, but she knew he could be so much more. She had actually been temporarily blinded when she used her Byakugan on him. She had never seen that much chakra! Naruto had almost twice the amount of the Sandaime himself! But she also knew the Hokage suppressed his chakra quite a bit, so she had no idea of his true power. Even her father's reserves were like a small lake compared to the vast ocean that was Naruto's chakra.

Ever since that first day, Hinata basically stalked Naruto almost all the time. Constantly wondering what she was going to see next. It was like watching your favorite TV show and wondering what was going to happen this week. Sure, like any girl , his mysterious ways fascinated her. But it was Naruto's confidence that really got her. And, in a way, Naruto's indifference made her grow to like him more and more. It made her want to be like him as well. Hinata had seen the glares, and had heard some of the insults that were sent his ways everyday. But Naruto carried on like it was nothing. He didn't care about the insults, and the people couldn't do anything to him, so he didn't let anything get to him.

Hinata constantly wished she was like that, not caring about what people thought and said about her. She wished she had the kind of power that brought confidence like Naruto's. But she eventually resigned herself to the fact that she would never be that strong. She would never be strong enough to please her family, and she would never be strong enough for her Naruto-kun.

Kyuubi, watching Naruto spar through his eyes, suddenly felt a wave of sorrow hit her. All demons were finely tuned into emotions, but anger, lust, and sorrow were the big three. She extended her senses outward from Naruto's body and felt a familiar chakra signature.

**'Oh, the white eyed stalker is here again. Naruto should really pay more attention to his surroundings. But this gives me an idea.' **Kyuubi grinned evilly. **"Hey, kit."**

Naruto dodged a punch from the Dragon Claw clone with ease. 'What?'

**"How about we make a little wager on this spar?"**

Naruto rose an eyebrow as he ducked under a high kick from the Ghost Shadow clone. 'I'm listening.'

Kyuubi's grin widened. **"For every hit these clones land on you during this fight, you have to do anything I tell you to."**

Naruto faltered for a split second and was almost hit by a clone. 'WHAT?!'

**"Oh yes, and I already have the first thing in mind."**

'And what's that?'

**"You will go out with a girl of my choice."**

'What girl would want to go out with me?'

**"If you'd remove your mask, you'd have a fanclub by now."**

'Out of the question. I refuse to remove the mask, and I refuse to have a fanclub. They are much more trouble than they are worth, and they are worth almost nothing.'

**"Fair enough. But if you get hit, you WILL go out with ****Hyūga**** Hinata!"**

'Damn you, fox...Alright, deal. But what do I get when I win?'

**"A bit overconfident, aren't we? Very well, what do you want? Do you want me to give my body to you for one night to do with as you wish?" **Kyuubi's grin almost split her face in half, and she drooled a little at the thought.

Naruto was almost hit multiple times as he moves turned from graceful and swift, to erratic and rushed. 'What the hell?!'

Kyuubi suddenly turned serious. **"Naruto, I have decided that you need a girlfriend, and soon. There are only two humans I can think of that would be suitable for you. The snake woman and the stalker ****Hyūga****."**

'And why would that be?'

**"Think about your cloak. It protects you by sensing killing intent and malice, even subconscious hatred. The only people it has let near you are those two and the old Hokage. That is because they hold not even an ounce of ill will towards you. And the ****Hyūga**** has a massive crush on you, for whatever unfathomable reason. She has never once said anything even remotely mean to you, and she was your very first friend, even though neither of you seem to remember."**

Naruto's eyes widened. 'What are you talking about?! I never had any friends!'

**"I've been with you your entire life, I've seen everything that you have. With what you've gone through, combined with a naturally forgetful human mind, it's no wonder you don't remember some things. You were four and at your old swing alone, sulking as usual. She came over to you and asked why you were alone and not with the other kids. You asked her the same question. She said her father didn't want her get dirty playing with commoners. You said everyone's parents wouldn't let anyone play with you. She said that she'd play with you. You asked her what her father would say. She said she didn't care, and she wanted to have some fun. You played together for two hours straight before her father came and scolded her, then took her home. You both looked at each other with tears in your eyes and she mouthed 'bye' to you, and you waved. Then you sat down on the swing again, then went home an hour later." **Kyuubi played the event back for Naruto.

Naruto was speechless for a second. 'I...I did have a friend...How could I have forgotten about her?'

**"It's a consequence of your life and your many traumatic experiences. Your mind has locked away a lot of memories. It was a failsafe, if you still had access to them, you would dwell on them day in and day out. They would eventually cause you to go insane. But you had so many bad memories, your mind just took large sections of you memories and locked them away. Almost all of them were horrible memories, but a few of your limited good memories were locked up as well. The memory of the ****Hyūga**** was one of them. But all of the good memories that were locked away were also directly tied to bad memories. Like the girl, she was your first friend, and that is a good memory. But when her father took her away, and you thought she got in trouble because of you, it turned into a sad memory. So it's kind of a half and half thing."**

Naruto didn't say anything for a minute. 'Hmm...I'll think about this later, right now I have a bet to win.'

**"What do you want from me?"**

'I'll think of that after I win.'

Naruto was actually a little panicky, well, as panicky as he could get. He was now throwing himself into his fighting because he really didn't want this date. Not because of anything against Hinata, but because of who he was. If they went out, where could he take her? He wasn't allowed anywhere except for Ichiraku's Ramen, and that was only because they knew him as a child. And Naruto had no intention of having his first date at a ramen bar, especially when he didn't like ramen that much anymore.

Naruto dodged a powerful blow from the Dragon Claw clone, but just barely. Naruto knew if he just barely dodged something that slow, he was in trouble with the Ghost Shadow clone. Speaking of him, Naruto just managed to avoid one of the freakishly accurate strikes.

Naruto continued to fight with the clones, he never really took notice to the fact that the Royal Guard clone was hanging back, rushing in just to take energy from his attacks. And since Naruto was letting conscious thought take the place of natural reflexes in this spar, his movements and reaction time were much slower than they normally were.

The Royal Guard clone was waiting for its moment to attack. It had taken immediate notice of Naruto's now sloppy moves. It had been rushing in from time to time, making Naruto believe it was attacking, making him retaliate. The clone used that train of though and absorbed the energy of the powerful attacks, then jumped out of the fray, waiting to catch Naruto off guard again.

Hell, Naruto was so engrossed in the spar and his talk with Kyuubi, he didn't even notice that he had killed the first two clones. The two clones hiding in the canopy had taken their place and had been fighting Naruto thus far.

Naruto barely dodged another hit from a clone, and with each near miss his panic level was rising. He kept thinking he was losing power, making him slower. So he would push more power into his attacks, which would then miss, or be blocked. So, in reality, Naruto was weakening, just not in the way he thought he was.

Naruto's downfall came when he dodged a punch from the Ghost Shadow clone that was aimed at his heart. While dodging a previous attack from the clone, Naruto had his body at an odd angle, making it almost impossible to dodge. The only way he could do it was to twist his body in a way that would make a contortionist cringe. This extremely odd and uncomfortable position left Naruto open for a blow from the Dragon Claw clone. The clone went for a side swipe, which Naruto blocked. But his block was sloppy and his position left him with no balance or leverage, so he was still lifted off his feet and tossed away.

Naruto never had noticed that he had given the Royal Guard clone a shitload of energy with his overpowered hits. This was also the clone he was currently on a collision course with.

The Royal Guard clone smirked under its mask and gathered all its stolen energy in its right arm. Then when Naruto got close enough, it punched Naruto square in the chest and unleashed all that energy.

Naruto saw this coming, but couldn't even hope to stop it, so he made a chakra wall in front of the point of impact. It helped, but not by much. It prevented his entire ribcage from being blown out of his back, but the punch still broke seven ribs and sent two into his right lung and two into his left. The rest of the energy sent a massive shockwave through Naruto's body. A normal human's organs would've been turned into chunky soup after a blow like that, but for Naruto is just hurt like nothing else.

Naruto's body was sending electrical messages to his brain, telling it of the extreme pain. Now the normal response to this would be for the brain to sort of "shut down" temporarily, otherwise known as unconsciousness. But, due to Kyuubi's training, it took much more to force his brain to shut down. So it did the next best thing; it sent electrical messages racing throughout his body, overloading the nerves and causing temporary paralysis. This way he was still conscious, but couldn't feel anything.

After the shockwave subsided, Naruto's nerves were instantly back online. He had been sent tumbling like a rag doll and had eventually slid to a halt on his back. Naruto stared directly up at the sky, the sun not really bothering him. He saw his clones crowd around him and they all cocked their heads to the side like he would have done.

"...What just happened here?" one of them asked.

"...I think we just won." answered another.

"There must be something seriously wrong with the Boss then." the last one said.

"Hey, we aren't THAT weak compared to him!" the first clone protested in a very un-Naruto like way.

The other clones looked at their brother. "What's wrong with you?" one asked.

"Well, all clone techniques have a chance of one clone not being an exact copy of the creator. Given it's only about a one in two hundred-thousand chance, but it's a chance nonetheless. Brother, here, is just an anomaly." the other said.

The other two clones looked at the one who had spoke. "But Boss doesn't say thing's like that, so that means you're an anomaly as well. And that also means your ratio was wrong, as Boss hasn't created two hundred-thousand clones yet and there's already two anomalies!."

"No, Boss doesn't talk like this, but he thinks like this. So that means I am a correct copy. Which also means I'm right, and you're wrong...as usual."

The "anomaly" clone just shrugged and crossed his arms over his chest. "Well at least I have free will, unlike you tools."

The clone that had so far not participated in the argument smacked his brother on the head.

"You're wrong again. No one told me to do that at all, but I still did it because I wanted to. A perfect example of free will."

The clone sighed dejectedly and rubbed his head. "Whatever. So, what now?"

The other clones shrugged, then they all suddenly went ridged and jumped away from their creator. Just in time too, as they barely avoided a flurry of Gentle Fist strikes.

"What the hell?!" one clone shouted, dropping into the Dragon Claw stance.

"I will not let you further injure Naruto-kun!" Hinata shouted.

"Hyūga-san, what are you doing here?" Hinata heard Naruto's voice behind her.

She turned to face her crush to see that he was already up, like nothing had happened to him.

Hinata just stared at Naruto, doing a great impression of a fish. She activated her Byakugan and looked into Naruto's chest. She found that his ribs and his lungs were completely healed, not even a trace of damage.

"H-how? I saw your ribs break and puncture your lungs!" Hinata practically screamed.

Naruto cocked his head to the side. "You've been watching me for quite a while now, you should know of my...increased healing factor."

Hinata blushed a whole new color of red. She had suspected that Naruto had found out about her habits when he had given her the codename "Stalker Coat Girl" during the joint mission, as he just called her "Coat Girl" before that. But now she knew that Naruto knew about her.

"I-I-I...um...I-uhh...I'm-I..." Hinata just stammered and poked her fingers together like mad, all the while inventing new shades of red.

Naruto just sighed. He had lost the bet, and this just saved him the trouble of looking for Hinata later on.

"Hyu...Hinata...Would you like to go out with me some time?" these had to be some of the hardest words Naruto ever had to force out.

Hinata went stiff as a board, then fainted on the spot.

Naruto sighed, then heard snickering. He turned to his still present clones, who suddenly found their boots very interesting.

"Why are you three still here?"

"Um...You haven't dismissed us yet?" one clone ventured.

Naruto's eyebrow twitched. "Go away." he commanded.

"Yes sir." the clones chorused before dissolving.

Naruto sighed and rubbed his masked forehead. "What now?" he said to no one in particular. "I can't just leave her here."

Kyuubi could feel another presents in a tree about fifty feet from her vessel. But she wasn't planning on telling him, oh no, she had other plans.

**'Hmm. This could definitely work.' **she thought. **"Hey Kit, I think it would be okay to leave her here. No one else knows about this place besides the snake woman."**

'It's not people I'm concerned about, it's the animals. We are in the A-class sector of the Forest of Death. I honestly don't know how she managed to get here unharmed, she is relatively weak.'

**"Now, now, Kit. Don't be mean. She's not weak, per se, she just lacks confidence because of her family situation. You should know about that, we've both seen her father belittle her in public many times. You can tell she's trying her damnedest not to cry. From what I've seen, crying makes things much worse for her."**

Naruto nodded. 'But still, confidence doesn't matter much when you're not awake.'

**"True, but I have a feeling she'll be just fine."**

'There's something you're not telling me.' it was a statement, not a question.

**"Maybe, maybe not. Just leave her and find something else to do. Besides, I counted two hits."**

'WHAT?! That was only one!'

**"No, the Dragon Claw attack that set the whole thing up was a hit." **Kyuubi said in a matter-of-fact tone.

'What? But I blocked it.'

**"That may be, but it still caused a fair amount of damage, so your block was all but ineffective. Therefore, it counted as a successful hit."**

'Fine, damned fox.'

**"Hey! Just for that little remark, I'm going to get you on a technicality!"**

'What do you mean?'

**"I said 'for every hit these clones land on you during this fight, you have to do anything I say'. That means any hits you took throughout the entire battle count, even ones you took BEFORE the wager. Which means that's three things you have to do for me!"**

Naruto grumbled a string of curses. 'Fine, but you only have two left, so choose wisely.' he probably shouldn't have said that.

Kyuubi grinned. **"Oh, rest assured, I'm going to milk this for all it's worth."**

'Damn you.'

Kyuubi laughed. **"You're about ten thousand years too late for that!"**

Naruto just grumbled more in response, then sank into his shadow and disappeared.

A few minutes later Hinata awoke in the middle of the clearing on top of a fallen tree. She vaguely remembered why she fainted, but before she could fully comprehend things, someone appeared beside her. Hinata looked up to see a tall, purple-haired woman wearing a tan trenchcoat grinning down at her.

"Hello, kid."

"Um, h-hello. Who m-might you b-be?"

"The name's Mitarashi Anko, but you will now refer to me as 'Anko-sensei' from now on." the woman, now identified as Anko, stated with a dangerous glint in her eyes.

Hinata gulped hard. "W-what?"

"I've decided to take on an apprentice, and you're it."

"Why?"

"Let's just say I know what you're after...or. I should say, WHO you're after." Anko's grin widened at Hinata's furious blush. "But you'll never get him the way you are now. So I'm going to help you out." on the inside Anko was practically giddy. 'Hehehe, I'll get a reaction out of you yet, Naru-chan, even if it's indirectly. And If I don't, at least I may get a "mini-me" out of it. If Gai can do it, I can, too!'

Hinata just stared up at Anko. 'If she can help me get Naruto-kun, then so be it. I doubt father and the elders will be happy about this, but I don't care anymore.'

"So, kid, you coming, or am I gonna have to drag you outta here?"

Hinata nodded. "I'm coming, Mitarashi-san."

Anko's eyebrow twitched a little. "What was that?" she asked, giving her voice a bit of an edge.

Hinata gulped again. "I'm coming...Anko-sensei?"

Anko grinned. "There you go!" she then put her hand on Hinata's shoulder and they both disappeared in a whirlwind of leaves.

Meanwhile Naruto was hopping from roof to roof, listening to Kyuubi's many ideas of what she was going to make him do.

**"Hmm, maybe I'll make you walk into the women's side of the hot springs. Or I'll have you finally take your mask off in public. OH, I know! I'll can make you walk into the women's side of the hot springs with your mask off! So many possibilities, shame I can only do two."**

'Yeah, that's right, only two. And I guarantee you I will find the loopholes.'

Kyuubi simply scoffed. **"Kit, I'm a fox, I already know all the loopholes, AND how to use them against you. So take your best shot."**

Naruto smirked. 'You're going to regret those words, Kyuu-chan.'

**"Pfft! I taught you everything you know about trickery! Do you really think you can outsmart me?"**

'No, I don't _think _I can; I _know_ I can.'

**"Just like me, your overconfidence will be your downfall."**

Naruto just shrugged. 'This isn't overconfidence, it's a warning.'

**"Oh? Like how you were 'warning' me that you would win our little wager?"**

'My losing that bet was direct result of your comments.'

**"That may be, but you asked what I had planned, so it was just as much your fault as it was mine."**

Naruto grumbled some more.

**"Kyuubi: 1, Kit: 0!"** Kyuubi laughed.

Naruto groaned inwardly. What had he gotten himself into this time?

XXXX

I told you guys I was going to change Hinata drastically. So now most of you can't complain about her because she's going to be borderline OC.

Things may get a little funny later when Hinata and Anko team up to try and get Naruto's mask later on.(Sound familiar?)

(1): I found a great translation website, but it's not good for techniques at all. Mainly because nothing has just one translation. I found one word that had seven translations and one of them was an entire sentence! So not many things in here are going to be in Japanese. So just deal with it people, I'm taking Japanese classes on the internet anyway.

(2): I know the real name for these kinds of trees, but it's kind of awkward to say in conversation. Most people I know just call them V trees anyway, so I will too.

(3): This clan will come in later in the story. A member may in fact be in the harem, but it's a ways off, so don't worry about it now.

Read and Review, I'm going deer hunting in Alaska! I just hope I don't run into any bears or moose. I killed a moose there before and I got in trouble for it, I didn't know they were endangered. At least that's what the police told me. Personally, I think they just wanted to mess with someone for shits n' giggles.

Jason Out!


	5. Screams Of The Damned

What up everyone? Jason here, with a brand new chapter!

Now on to what it apparently everyone's favorite subject: pairings. They won't be in until near the Chūnin Exams, maybe even after that. I want to introduce the female characters to let everyone get a feel for their personalities in this story, then I'll have the voting poll. But please everyone, just wait until then.

Besides, this isn't a story about romance, it's about action and adventure, hence the category. So be happy with the fight scenes and the limited humor, which I will add more of.

Now on with the story!

XXXX

(Later That Night)

Naruto sat in his apartment, staring up at the ceiling, bored out of his mind. He had found nothing to do during the day, except for mess with a couple of ANBU rookies. Naruto had scared them both half to death, one of them screamed like a little girl and ran away, the other went into something like a coma and had yet to wake up. Of course, neither knew it had been Naruto, they thought it was "the vengeful ghost of a long-dead Konoha missing nin" as Naruto had called himself under his Henge.

Naruto snapped his head to the side as he saw three black blurs speed passed his window. He recognized them as ANBU and decided to follow them to see what had them in such a hurry. Surely it wasn't his little prank; who would actually believe that a ghost would come back to this hellhole?

'Personally, I think I would prefer hell.' Naruto thought as he stalked the ANBU, who had yet to notice him, as per usual.

The ANBU met up with five other shinobi, three Chūnin and two Jōnin.

"The Forbidden Scroll of Sealing has been stolen!" one of the Jōnin, a relatively tall bald man, yelled.

"WHAT?!" the lead ANBU shouted.

"It's true! We've got witnesses saying they spotted someone jumping across rooftops at high speeds, towards the forest to the North!"

One of the ANBU scratched his chin. "Obviously a ninja. Probably one of our own, and at least Chūnin-level."

"But if he's learned anything from that scroll already, who knows how strong he is now!" the other Jōnin said.

The final ANBU, a woman, nodded. "Yes, but all the techniques contained in that scroll are extremely tough to master. The easiest one on it is the Shadow Clone. It may be a Jōnin level technique, but I know of some ANBU that haven't completely mastered it yet. So I doubt this Chūnin has learned anything, if he is indeed a Chūnin."

"Hm, if he has tried to learn something from the scroll, he could very well be exhausted at this very moment." the lead ANBU deduced. "You know, unless he thought ahead and brought along a soldier pill or two."

To say Naruto was interested was an understatement. He took the fact that the techniques were hard to master as a sort of personal challenge.

**"Kit, this could be an opportunity to get some very powerful techniques." **Kyuubi said.

'Yes. I may be able to take the scroll for myself, but incase I can't, I will still read it over. I'm going to need you to memorize whatever I don't.'

**"Sure thing."**

Naruto remembered what the Chūnin said about the thief running to the Northern part of the forest surrounding Konoha. He knew the general area so he could Shadow Walk to the forest, but he would have to search for the thief. Naruto sank into his shadow and was gone, none of the eight shinobi present ever noticing that he was there.

"What was that?" one Jōnin asked, sensing the chakra given off by Naruto using his technique.

"Probably someone using the Body Flicker to search the area faster. Nothing to worry about." one ANBU dismissed the issue.

The others just nodded, finding no flaw in the ANBU's logic.

(The Northern Forest)

Naruto appeared within the shadow cast by a tall tree. He scanned the area and found nothing with his eyes, but his nose told a different story.

"I smell..." he took a sniff of the air. "A male ninja. Headed..." he sniffed again. "To the West." Naruto sent out a small pulse of chakra like a radar. "Hmm, he's using chakra to increase his speed. He's still moving too slow to be a Jōnin, but too fast to be a normal Genin. So, he _is_ a Chūnin, or Chūnin level at least."

Naruto bolted from the area, heading West to cut the ninja off.

Meanwhile, the thief was getting tired and had stopped in a clearing. He had been using chakra to increase his speed, but he was running low. His chakra reserves could rival some Tokubetsu Jōnin, but he was sort of out of shape. Being a teacher, he didn't have much time for training and he didn't get missions unless there weren't any other shinobi to take them. He had no idea how Iruka kept in shape, but he suspected it had something to do with clones.

He smirked. "Those idiots probably don't even know the scroll is gone yet." he laughed.

"Quite the contrary, Mizuki-_sensei_." a somewhat deep, even voice said from the darkness.

Mizuki whirled around and grabbed one of the giant shuriken on his back and began whirling it in preparation.

"Who's there?!" he shouted. "Show yourself, or I'll cut you and this entire forest down!"

The voice scoffed. "You don't have even a fraction of the power that would take, fool."

Mizuki smirked. "Wanna bet? With this scroll, I'm invincible!"

The voice was silent for a second, that it said, "Yes, I think I will take that bet."

Mizuki's smirk widened. "Really now? Well then, what's the prize?"

"For you, freedom...until the ANBU catch you. For me, your soul." Naruto then stepped out of the shadows.

Mizuki stared at Naruto for a minute, then burst into laughter.

"You?! You think you can stop me?! Even without this scroll you wouldn't be a challenge for me!"

This time Naruto smirked, though his mask made it impossible to tell.

"But Mizuki, you've got it all wrong."

"And how's that?"

"It is you who is not a challenge."

Mizuki's smirk turned into a deep scowl. "Tough talk for a little brat. Let's see if your attitude changes when you're in pieces!" the threw the fuuma shuriken at Naruto, who made no move to avoid it.

Naruto just stared at the weapon flying at him, not worried about it at all. That was until...

"NARUTO!" someone charged out of the trees and intercepted the projectile. The problem was that he intercepted it with his body.

The weapon sliced through the man's flack jacket, nicked both of his kidneys and part of his large intestine, and severed his spine. He was now paralyzed from the waist down and slowly dying from blood loss.

The giant shuriken continued towards its target with only a slight reduction in speed, but Naruto caught it as if it were a simple rock thrown at him. He looked at the person you had "saved" him and his eyes widened.

"Iruka-sensei?"

Iruka just twitched and slowly turned his head to face Naruto. "R-Run...N-Naruto." was all he said, blood and bile bubbling up from his throat.

Naruto stared at Iruka before turning to a smirking Mizuki. "You are going to pay for that with more than your life."

Mizuki laughed. "Big words from a Genin." he seemed to be ignoring the fact that the "Genin" had caught his fuuma shuriken like it was nothing.

Purple chakra began to swirl around Naruto and the eye slits of his mask glowed crimson with pure rage.

Mizuki suddenly got a devious idea and he grinned. "Say Naruto, do you wish to know why the entire village hates you?"

Iruka's eyes widened and he forced the blood out of his mouth to speak. "N-no Mizuki! I-It's for-forbidden!"

Mizuki's grin widened. "Just like this scroll?" he held up said object. "Anyway. Naruto, the story of how the Kyuubi was defeated and killed by the Yondaime is a complete lie. The Yondaime, as powerful as he was, was still just a man; and no man can kill a Bijū. So, he sealed it into infant born on that very night. That newborn was you, Naruto! YOU ARE THE KYUUBI NO KITSUNE!" Mizuki cackled.

However, his maniacal laughter was completely drowned out by Naruto's own.

"What the hell is so funny, demon?" Mizuki hissed.

"I already know of the demon." Mizuki's eyes widened, as did Iruka's. "And Kyuubi-sama howls for your blood."

Mizuki stared at Naruto in horror. "Y-You really are the demon...In that case, I can just kill you and the village will give me this scroll, probably make me the next Hokage! I can just make up a story about how I stole it to lure you out with the promise of unsealing you! Even Iruka's death will be blamed on you! It's all perfect!"

Naruto smirked. "It would seem so, but you forgot one important detail."

"What's that?"

**"YOU CAN'T KILL ME!" **if it was a demon Mizuki wanted, then it was a demon he would get.

Mizuki reached for another giant shuriken, but Naruto was already gone. He then felt something grab his arm from behind.

**"I don't think so." **Naruto flung the man forward with a brutal thrust kick. To add to Mizuki's misfortune, Naruto still had a firm hold of his arm, which was torn completely off the Chūnin's body from the force of the kick.

Mizuki barely had a chance to even register the pain from his missing arm before he crashed head-first into a tree. He was almost knocked out, he vision blackened and he was about to pass out from a combination of pain, blood loss and a severe concussion. But the feeling of something smacking his cheek repeatedly brought him back to the land of the living.

Mizuki looked up to see Naruto smacking him with his own severed arm.

**"Stay with me, **_**sensei**_**. I want you to be awake for this." **Naruto unsheathed the Black Soul. **"This blade is unique...It has an appetite." **it wasn't hard to envision the sadistic grin hidden behind that mask. **"See if you can guess what it eats!" **Naruto jammed the blade into Mizuki's chest, and relished his screams. **"I wish I could say that it's been fun...But you're just as much of a bore in battle as you are in class. Perhaps you'll be more amusing in your final moments."**

Mizuki screamed as he felt every drop of his blood flow into his chest and into the blade. He also felt his soul being ripped out. It felt like he was being mutilated from the inside out; as if their was some ravenous creature living within him, trying to claw and bite its way to freedom.

Naruto watched with morbid fascination and outright amusement as the color drained from Mizuki's body. His eyes became milky white and rolled back into his skull. His cheeks hollowed and his mouth hung open in an eternal scream of terror and pain. Mizuki's entire body rapidly withered down to mere bones and skin. Naruto could tell he was still alive because he was gasping and choking, struggling to breathe as his lungs were shriveling and air was being forced out.

Mizuki's uniform seemed to deflate like a balloon as the blood was drained and the soul eaten by Naruto's demonic sword. Mizuki gave one final scream, but it came out as a broken hiss of air. What was left of the former teacher's body went stiff as a board, like accelerated rigor mortis, and Mizuki was no more. Just a drained and dried husk of a human body remained.

Naruto smirked and walked over to the body and ripped his sword from the ribcage. The blade pulsed, telling its master that it was satisfied for the time being, before Naruto sheathed it.

"He really was more fun in death."

Naruto heard a gurgling noise and his eyes widened; he had completely forgotten about Iruka! He dashed to the teacher's side and saw the extent of the damage.

He shook his head. "That may have been the dumbest thing I've ever seen anyone do."

Iruka just smiled. "J-just my way o-of saying 's-sorry'..." he hacked up some blood.

"For what?"

"I always h-harbored a l-lot of hatred for y-you. B-but I was a f-fool, like the v-villagers. All I s-saw was the demon, n-not the boy that y-you really w-were."

"You know you're dying, right?" Naruto said.

Iruka nodded as best he could. "I-I know. I c-can feel it h-happening already. I just w-wanted to try a-and m-make up for m-my sins."

Naruto just snorted and stepped over to the scroll by Mizuki's body. He took it and sat down by Iruka, he scanned it for traps or seals, but found none, oddly enough. He unrolled it and began to read, while Kyuubi memorized everything.

'Blah, blah, blah...here we are. "Miracle Hand", eh? Let's see..."Only a handful of people have been able to use this technique effectively, due to its high risk of Chakra Poisoning and/or Overload. It has actually killed more people than it has helped." this should work.' Naruto memorized the hand seals, then looked at Iruka. "You are an extremely lucky person, Iruka-sensei."

"W-what do y-you m-mean?"

"If I were anyone else, I would never have been able to do this." Naruto flashed through the hand seals and his hand glowed a dark green, with traces of purple swirling around it.

He placed his hand on huge gash that the giant shuriken had made and sent the chakra into it.

Iruka gasped when he felt the chakra enter his wound and start to repair it. He could feel is spine re-attaching itself and his kidneys and intestines mending. He could feel tendons and blood vessels reforming and attaching themselves to previously destroyed muscle and bone. Then finally he could feel his skin pulling and stretching over what was left of the wound, sealing it. An overall uncomfortable experience, but not painful at all.

"Miracle Hand Technique, successful." Naruto said. "You are healed, but not completely. You will live and you can move now, but the wound may re-open at the surface with too much strain. You should be able to go home and sleep it off for a couple of days, but medical treatment is still advised."

Iruka's eyes widened when he discovered he could sit up by himself, but he winced when he felt the skin over the wound was still very sensitive.

"Earlier you said that you were trying to make up for past sins, is that true?"

Iruka nodded. "More than ever now."

"Well then, you want to make things up to me, tell everyone that the 'village demon' saved your life tonight. Tell them that I potentially saved the lives of this entire village. Can you imagine what would happen if someone like Orochimaru got a hold of this scroll?" Iruka looked like he was going to puke at the thought. "Exactly. Oh, and tell no one that I know of Kyuubi-sama or of how I killed the traitor, or you and everyone you told will meet the same fate. Am I clear?" Iruka nodded. "Good."

Naruto tossed the scroll to Iruka, who caught it. "Why are you giving this to me?"

"Do you know what will happen when the ninja that are on the way find the 'demon' with the Forbidden Scroll?"

"You have a point, unfortunately." Iruka sighed.

"Now to tell everyone where you are..." Naruto sent out a massive wave of chakra that sent Iruka tumbling for a few feet. It also caused Mizuki's body shatter like glass and blew the particles deeper into the forest.

Iruka looked back after he slid to a stop, but Naruto was already gone. "He just obliterated a Chūnin, yet he still has that much chakra left?! Just how strong is he?"

A few minutes later a squad of ANBU along with more than a few Jōnin and Chūnin appeared in the clearing. Iruka told them of what had happened, leaving out Naruto's knowledge of Kyuubi, and exactly how Naruto had killed Mizuki. After this night, many people would have different views of the village "demon".

Meanwhile, Naruto was already back at his apartment, staring at the ceiling. But this time he had a sadistic grin on his face. He couldn't wait to try out some of the techniques on the scroll. He was already thinking of ways to alter them and make them better. He had some particularly nasty ideas for a technique called the "Rasengan".

(Meanwhile, In The Hokage's Office)

Sarutobi had seen most of what had happened. Up to the part where Naruto began gathering chakra. But then his crystal ball went black and he could no longer see anything in it. The sphere had cleared about two minutes later, but all the Hokage saw was the unnaturally pale and shriveled body of Mizuki, and Naruto seemed to be saying something to Iruka. The ball may have been working again, but there was no sound whatsoever.

The Sandaime sighed, Naruto had somehow found a way to block his scrying orb's powers. He looked back at the ball and noticed that it started to glow red. The image in the ball looked like it was being consumed by red flames, and the Hokage began to panic.

"What in Kami's name is going on?" he questioned.

Suddenly the face of an enraged fox appeared in the orb and it roared, making Sarutobi cover his ears. Then the face disappeared and the orb cracked, then exploded.

The Hokage immediately dodged the glass shrapnel and looked at the place where the ball used to be in horror. He knew all too well what the face had been, and even if he didn't, that roar was unmistakable. It was definitely the Kyuubi.

'Maybe the seal is weakening.' he thought.

Maybe it was, or maybe the Kyuubi just had too much power to contain. Maybe it was finally showing that it could already reach outside the seal. But even with all the "ifs" and "maybes", one thing was most certainly clear; the Hokage had just been told to back off.

Sarutobi contemplated talking to Naruto about it, but he decided against it. If Naruto didn't know about Kyuubi, then he could be severely damaged by the information. Hell, Sarutobi was already fearful of Naruto's mental state. He knew that something like having a demon in you would shatter Naruto's already fragile mind.

What he didn't know was that Naruto had one of the strongest minds of anyone on the planet. He had dealt with things that most people, ninja or otherwise, couldn't even imagine. And he was still here, and he was still relatively sane.

So, Sarutobi would leave the issue alone for now, until he was sure it was, in fact, an issue. He sighed as he pulled out another crystal orb from a secret compartment in the wall. Many people had destroyed his orbs, so he always had backups. He recently had to replace two of them. One when Naruto had a "conversation" with an old drunkard. He had called Naruto "Demon Brat" and followed him into an alleyway. He hadn't been seen since. And the most recent ,until tonight, was during Naruto's Genin test with his team. After he had thoroughly kicked Kakashi's ass, the ball had gone black, then cracked and fell into hundreds of pieces. But none of the failures had been as violent and...flashy as the one just now.

Sarutobi had deduced long ago that when it came to Naruto, it was best to keep quiet. That was why he never said anything about Naruto's true power. Naruto made no real move to hide it, but he only used it in a fight that had limited spectators. This made the Hokage wonder what Naruto would do during the Chūnin Exams this year. He knew Naruto hated unnecessary attention, so he said nothing. If he did, the council would somehow find out, then something bad would surely happen.

"Just how many secrets do you have, Naruto?" he looked over to a picture of the Yondaime on the wall. "I know you wouldn't like his personality, but I know you would be proud of him either way, Arashi."

He then saw something that would stay with him for the rest of his days. The smile that Arashi wore in the picture got a little bit wider.

"Okay...that was just freaky." the Sandaime turned away from the picture, missing Arashi's smile turn into a full-blown grin before going back to normal.

(Morning)

Naruto awoke at his normal time of six o' clock on the dot, no alarm or anything. Naruto always believed that a ninja should always be either on-time or early. Yet another reason he didn't like Kakashi. He got out of bed and walked into the bathroom, he lifted his mask just enough to uncover his mouth and he brushed his teeth.

Naruto rarely took baths or showers; he just used fire to burn off anything on his body. The only downside to that was that it left him smelling like incense and/or grilled meat. And the first few times he did it he had burned off his clothes.

"Wonder what's going to happen today." Naruto said to himself.

**"Most likely, nothing. That is, unless you make it happen." **Kyuubi said with a yawn.

"You just woke up?"

**"Yep, I had no reason to stay up. I no longer have to protect you at night, since you have the cloak and the traps. And you wake up at the slightest noise."**

"I'm a light sleeper, I guess."

**"'Light sleeper'? You once woke up when fly went passed the window."**

"Give me a break, that was the night before my ninth birthday."

**"Ah yes, that was a particularly hellish day. Just how many people did you kill that day?"**

"Thirty-five villagers, four shinobi, and two ninja dogs."

**"Aren't you forgetting someone?"**

"Well, there was one guy that committed suicide, but I didn't technically kill him."

Naruto finished his conversation with Kyuubi called his cloak to him. The cloak slithered along the floor from the bed and wrapped itself around Naruto's body.

**"No matter how many times I see that, it's still kind of freaky...I like it."**

Naruto checked the traps and the seals on his property that kept things from being burned, then left, not locking his door or the windows.

Naruto decided to walk today, to "bask" in the glares and insults.

"I can't believe that Hokage-sama let that...that..._thing_ become a ninja!" on woman whispered to her friend.

"The Sandaime's decision will be the downfall of Konoha, I just know it." another villager said.

"Hopefully he'll die on a mission."

"Damned demon, he killed my sister!"

"Shh! You're breaking the Sandaime's law! Just ignore the little bastard."

Naruto could easily pick out who said what, and was contemplating dishing out the penalty for mentioning the demon in public. But he didn't feel like killing some lowly villagers that didn't know how to hold their tongues. He didn't kill them because of his conscience; as far as he was concerned he didn't have one. He just didn't feel like dealing with the problems it would cause. Plus, it would mean more paperwork for the Hokage, who already got more than enough of it on a daily basis without Naruto killing citizens in broad daylight.

So Naruto just kept walking, but now he was leaking killing intent that froze everyone where they stood. No one made a sound, and a squirrel that was running by dropped dead within seconds. Naruto smirked under he mask, it was times like these that really made him appreciate being a half demon. His killing intent was much more potent than a human's.

Naruto arrived at Training Ground Seven at six-thirty and, of course, found no one there. So, he decided to get in some last minute training before he began another boring day of D-class missions.

He decided to practice some techniques he didn't use all too often. He wouldn't do any wide area damage moves, just some things that were fairly straight forward. He was going to practice the Gufuu Jiten, but if he created a tornado, it would surely draw unwanted attention. So he settled for some "minor" fire damage to the surroundings.

He also wanted to try out something he had done by pure instinct when training with the Black Soul.

(Flashback)

Naruto had just finished mastering the Dragon Destroyer Kenjutsu style, and had summoned a few clones to spar with.

He had immediately cut down the first two clones, and the last two that were left were almost finished. Both clones looked at each other and nodded, then one charged to its doom while the other stayed behind and took a deep breath.

Naruto blurred out of existence, the reappeared behind the clone, which for some reason had stopped cold. Naruto fully sheathed his blade with a light click, then the clone fell into fifty pieces.

"Damn, still not enough." Naruto grumbled, then noticed what the last clone was doing, but it was a little too late.

Naruto stared at the massive burning dragon streaking towards him, searing everything around it on the way. The clone that had launched the attack didn't have enough chakra left to maintain itself and said some final words before dissolving.

"Fire Release:...Fire Dragon...Flame Missile."

Naruto waited until the dragon was almost on him, then he flicked the hand guard of the sword with his thumb and unsheathed it in one fluid motion. He raised the sword over his head, then brought it down on the flaming dragon's head. A wave of chakra flew from the blade and cut the dragon clean through the center. The two sides flew past Naruto and impacted against the trees behind him, starting a forest fire. The cutting wave of chakra kept going, cutting down tree after tree before it stopped.

Naruto pretty much ignored the raging fire behind him and stared the Black Soul.

"...Woah..." was all he could say.

He then just waved a hand at the fire and it slowly died down until it was just a few harmless embers.

(End Flashback)

Because of Kyuubi and his high elemental alignments, Naruto had limited control over these elements. He could control all forms of Fire, increasing and decreasing the intensity as he chose. His control over Darkness was second to none, not even Kyuubi herself could match him in that area. And Naruto could command Wind to do almost anything he wanted.

The was mainly due to Kyuubi and the fact that he was a half demon. Kyuubi, being the highest level of demon, naturally had control over all but two of the elements to a certain extent. Other than Light, which no pure-blooded demon could control, and Darkness Kyuubi had mastery over all elements. This was the reason she could create earthquakes, tornados, tsunamis, and thunderstorms with her tails.

Because of the merger, Naruto was gaining these abilities, but very slowly. He had almost complete mastery over Fire, Darkness, and Wind because of his natural human alignments, Kyuubi just dramatically strengthened them. But Naruto wouldn't gain mastery over all elements for many thousands of years. But he could gain mastery over them by finding, challenging, and defeating the boss spirits for each element. And even this would take many millennia, so he was better off just waiting and training. Challenging the elements themselves was guaranteed suicide for most, and those that weren't killed were made into slaves that the spirits called "Champions" or "Avatars". They were really no more than slaves to do the spirits' bidding and take care of things in this world for them because they were lazy.

It wasn't really a bad existence, but the tasks that the spirits often made their champions do were almost impossible for anything other than themselves. So as far a being a "Champion" or "Avatar" went...Well let's just say there are easier and far less painful ways for one to commit suicide and/or drive themselves insane.

Though, from what Kyuubi knew, Shiva, the boss spirit of Ice, had made her last challenger into a sex slave. Not all too bad, if you didn't consider the fact that when Shiva orgasmed she lost control of her powers, thus turning her lovers into brittle ice sculptures.

Naruto took a deep breath and blew out a stream of fire in the shape of a dragon. The dragon shot into the air and made a swift turn in the direction of its creator. Naruto just gripped the sheath of the Black Soul, waiting for the dragon to get close enough. He had actually rushed the dragon head-on once, with bad results. This new attack he had discovered was still experimental, and he hadn't perfected it enough to use it while moving.

He had hit the dragon with just the sword and no chakra blade came out. The sword went right through the fire and Naruto was "eaten" by the fire dragon. It then blew up with him inside it, causing another forest fire, but did next to nothing to Naruto. Unless you count causing him to go deaf for two hours.

The dragon roared as it descended upon its target. Naruto snapped into action and unsheathed his odachi and slashed downwards. The wave of dark purple chakra cleanly split the fire dragon and both sides harmlessly passed him by, then exploded behind him against the trees. The end result of this attack was as usual: the trees behind Naruto burnt to a crisp, and the trees in front of him cut down and leveled.

"Dragon Splitter, successful." Naruto mumbled, then surveyed the damage while taking care of the fire. "I should really find a way to stop that from happening."

Naruto looked at his watch and sighed; it was only seven o' clock. It had taken him a half an hour to figure out what to do, then do it. Now he had about an hour of free time before his teammates got there, and another two to three hours before their sensei showed up. Kakashi seemed to have forgotten about his little conversation with Naruto's clone at the memorial stone.

Naruto may not have liked Kakashi, but sometimes he envied the man for apparently not having an internal clock.

And so Naruto found a nice, un-demolished tree and sat down on the highest branch and went into a very light sleep.

(Meanwhile, With Hinata)

Hinata was standing in the middle of a clearing in the D-class part of the Forest of Death. She fidgeted with her new wardrobe.

Anko had taken her to the clothes store to get her a new outfit, something that "accentuated her curves", as Anko had put it. After that, Anko had taught her the Fire Release: Dragon Fire Technique. At some point, Anko has also made a dummy and dressed it in Hinata's old outfit, complete with a wig and a drawn-on face. She had even gone through the trouble of positioning the dummy's arms so it looked like it was poking its "fingers" together.

It took some doing, and a bit of threatening, but Anko had finally gotten her student to use the Dragon Fire Technique and reduce the symbol of Hinata's "old self" to ashes.

Hinata's new ensemble included a black tank top covered by a red mesh shirt, like Anko's; a pair of black shorts that went down to mid-thigh; and a blood red skirt of about the same length. Hinata also wore black ninja sandals, even though Anko had tried to get her into shin-highs, like her own. The Hyūga heiress had made an addition to her new outfit as well: black gloves. It was odd, since the Hyūga were known to refuse to wear gloves, even when they were forced to work in frostbite-inducing temperatures. They said gloves were nothing but an interference when concentrating their chakra into their hands and fingertips.

Anko had also said something about giving her a new hairstyle, but that Hinata's hair was too short. Hinata quite liked her current hairstyle, so she wasn't all that eager to see what her newest sensei had in mind for her.

Despite Hinata's new "badass" appearance, she was still the same old Hinata. But Anko planned to change that, starting now.

Hinata decided to sit on a tree stump and wait for her sensei to return from...wherever she went. She heard a twig snap in the tree line and squeaked in a very un-ninja like way.

"Who's there?" she asked, jumped up from the stump and slipping into the Gentle Fist stance.

"Calm down, Hyūga-san, It's just me." Naruto said as he stepped out of the shadows.

Hinata immediately blushed and started fidgeting with her fingers. "Oh...Um, h-hi Naruto-k-kun..." she said to her crush.

Naruto sighed and suddenly appeared in front of her. She gasped/squeaked when Naruto grabbed her hands and pried them apart.

"I hate it when you do that." he said simply.

"S-sorry." they stood there for a minute, neither of them saying a thing.

Then Naruto broke the silence. "Listen Hyu...no, Hinata, you never did give me an answer."

Hinata looked at Naruto with a puzzled expression. "Hm? What question?"

"Would you like to go out sometime?" Naruto asked.

Hinata immediately stiffened. 'Must not pass out...must not pass out...This could be my last chance with Naruto-kun!' "I-I-I-I-I...Uhh...I-I...Y-y-y-ye..." was Hinata's brilliant answer.

Naruto sweatdropped. "What was that?"

Hinata didn't trust her mouth at all, so she just nodded.

Naruto chuckled. "Good." he leaned forward, but stopped abruptly. "This would be where I take off my mask and kiss you, but..." Naruto trailed off.

Hinata's eyes widened. "Why won't you kiss me?!" she screamed, then immediately covered her mouth. 'What was that?!'

"It was me!" something within Hinata's head shouted.

'Who are you?'

"I'm you!"

'But I'm me...'

"Well duh! Just call me 'Inner Hinata'!

Hinata's eyes widened even further. 'Oh no! I'm going insane, just like Sakura-san!' she had caught Sakura talking to her "inner-self" more than a few times back in the academy, and she wanted no part of it.

Naruto coughed, snapping Hinata out of her seemingly terrified daze.

"As I was saying. I would kiss you, but..."

"Yes?"

"...I...uhh..." Naruto scratched the back of his head sheepishly. "I don't know what Naruto looks like under his mask." "Naruto" disappeared in a puff of smoke, revealing him to actually be Anko in a Henge.

Hinata looked pissed at this. "Why would you play with my emotions like that, you...you...YOU BITCH?!" she shouted, then covered her mouth again.

Anko's eyebrow twitched and she pretended to be angry. "What was that?" she hissed, wearing a sadistic grin.

Hinata fervently shook her head, not trusting her mouth again.

'What's your problem?!' she screamed at her inner self.

"That wasn't me, that little outburst was all you."

"You called me a bitch...well, at least that's a step in the right direction." Anko's grin turned half playful.

"W-what do you m-mean?" Hinata uncovered her mouth.

"But it was also three steps back." you could almost see the question mark above Hinata's head. Anko sighed. "Look, you failed to notice a simple Henge because you were too focused on your crush. All you had to do was activate your Byakugan and you would have seen that I wasn't Naruto. Hell, you didn't even have to do that, if you had been paying attention, you would have noticed many flaws. One: Naruto would never allow himself to step on a twig. Two: Naruto would have just teleported here, not walk to you. Three: Naruto's cloak constantly convulses, mine didn't move at all until I did. Four: Naruto doesn't come this way when he enters the Forest of Death. Five: Naruto's mask has four engravings; the kanji for Fire on his right cheek, Wind on his left, Darkness on his forehead, and the symbol of the village between the eye slits. My mask only had three engravings, and Wind and Fire were on the wrong sides. Six: there was a slight surge of Naruto's chakra about two miles away when we were talking, that wouldn't have been possible if he was here. And lastly; Seven: Naruto doesn't chuckle in a non-sinister way."

Hinata mentally reviewed what Anko had said and found that she was absolutely right.

But then she thought of something. "Naruto's cloak blocks the Byakugan, if I had used it, I would have instantly known you weren't him." her eyes began to tear up and she dropped her head into her hands and fell to her knees. "Oh, Kami, I'm so pathetic." she sobbed. "Father is right, I am useless."

Anko now felt seriously guilty for her little trick. True, it was meant for something like this, just not to this magnitude.

She put her hand on Hinata's shoulder. "Hinata...Hinata, look at me." Anko ordered, and Hinata lifted her head. "I'm sorry for that, but it had to be done. You know your flaws now, and you must work to overcome them."

Hinata dried her eyes and stood up. "You're right, Anko-sensei, thank you."

"No problem, kid." Anko smiled.

"You know, that sounded exactly like something Naruto would say." Hinata said.

"You know what? You're right. He gives good advice to others, yet most of the time he doesn't have a clue what to do with himself." Anko and Hinata laughed.

(Back With Naruto)

Naruto suddenly sneezed violently, almost falling out of his tree.

"...Anko." Naruto shrugged and went back to sleep. He still had another half hour of waiting for his teammates.

(With Anko And Hinata)

"Let's go, Hinata." Anko said as she walked towards the entrance/exit of the Forest of Death.

Hinata ran to catch up to her sensei's long-legged gait. "Go where, sensei?"

"I have to tell Kurenai-chan that I'm going to be borrowing you for a while." Anko grinned, and for the first time, Hinata grinned back. 'When I'm done with you, Naruto's gonna be like puddy in your hands. Then I'll finally get that mask off!' Anko thought.

Hinata's thoughts were a little more sinister. 'I'm going to get you...Naruto-kun.' at this, both Inner Hinata and normal Hinata laughed maniacally.

(With Naruto)

Naruto sneezed even more violently than before and an intense chill ran up his spine.

"Hm, I have the sudden urge to hide in my closet...Oh well." Naruto shrugged again and went back to sleep. Why he even bothered anymore, even he didn't know.

(Forty Minutes Later)

Naruto awoke once again when he heard Sasuke and Sakura approaching. He heard Sakura's voice, and Sasuke's increasingly rapid footsteps. He also felt their chakra signatures, but Sakura's was so weak Naruto wondered how she even got up in the morning.

Only two words came to Naruto's mind. 'Pathetic Fangirl.'("Fangirl" counts as one word!)

Sasuke continued ignoring Sakura's repeated attempts at making smalltalk and walking to the tree Naruto was in. He leaned on it, directly under Naruto, Never even sensing him.

Naruto wondered how anyone could be so oblivious, but then he remembered something Kyuubi had taught him.

'Humans as a whole, even ninjas, rarely look up. Use this to your advantage.' but still...

Naruto decided not to pay any more attention to them than he normally did...so he went back to sleep.

(Two Hours Later)

Kakashi arrived at his normal time of two hours late.

"Y...!" Kakashi's words died in his throat as he surveyed the scene before him.

Blood was everywhere. The ground was soaked in it, even the leaves on some trees had blood dripping from them. He saw a severed foot wearing a blue ninja sandal.

"Oh, Kami, Sakura..." Kakashi resisted the urge cry out.

He saw small strands of black hair stuck to various objects with dried blood, and he found a couple of severed fingers and an ear.

"Sasuke..."

He picked up his pace and saw that the trail of carnage led far into the forest. Kakashi stopped dead when he saw the mutilated body of a ninja from Iwagakure.

'Are they starting another war?' Kakashi thought. He inspected the body and found that it had wounds similar to teeth marks on it, and it looked like his entire side was bitten out by a shark. "Naruto must have fought him."

Kakashi heard a strangled gurgle from behind a bush. He rushed over, then recoiled at the sight that greeted him.

It was Sakura...or at least what was left of her. Her left leg was almost completely gone, nearly cut off at the thigh and hanging on by a single muscle tendon. Her right leg was missing its foot, and both her arms were horribly broken and bent at unnatural angles. Her dress had been torn apart, exposing the rest of her ravaged body. Her nipples seemed to have been cut off...no, upon closer inspection he found that they had been _bitten_ off. Her shorts had also been ripped off, and her horribly bleeding and torn vagina was visible and absolutely oozing semen. It combined with the blood to make a large pink puddle under her. The sticky, white reproductive fluid covered the poor girl's body, it leaked from her mouth as well. Kakashi saw that Sakura no longer had any teeth, most likely knocked out to keep her from biting down.

Kakashi saw that much of Sakura's hair had been ripped out, and was scattered around the area, along with bits and pieces of cloth from her outfit. Her hands were not only broken, but her fingers had been cut off at the second joint, and her thumb was bent back and twisted the wrong way. Her nose was obviously broken, almost completely smashed in. Kakashi had no doubt that shards of bone were embedded in the girl's brain, the fact that she was still alive was nothing short of amazing. Kakashi noticed that Sakura had her eyes closed, and that they were sealed with dried blood, then he saw why. Two emerald green eyes sat on the ground, parts of the optic nerve still attached. The way they were positioned they looked like they were staring at him. Kakashi saw where the gurgling was coming from, Sakura's attackers slit her throat after they had their way with her. Blood and sperm oozed and bubbled out of the nasty jagged gash, it looked like the wound was made with a serrated blade, a dagger perhaps.

Kakashi took a step towards the mangled body of his female student, but he stepped on a twig. Sakura flinched violently at the sound, and Kakashi could tell she was trying to curl into a ball.

"Sakura...oh Kami..." Kakashi began to sob.

Sakura gasped in recognition. "S-s-sensei..." that was the last word to leave Sakura's lips as she stopped breathing, and was finally freed from her world of agony.

"Sakura?...Sakura?!...SAKURA!" Kakashi screamed to the heavens.

The Jōnin stayed on his knees for a full five minutes, violent tremors rocking his body as he cried. A disgusting smell suddenly reached his nose as the wind changed directions. It was a smell he knew all to well after the Great Shinobi Wars: it was the smell of burnt human flesh.

Kakashi took the time to say a small prayer for Sakura, wishing her happiness in the afterlife, and said he was sorry one last time. Then he took off in the direction of the smell.

He found the source after a few minutes of searching, and wished he hadn't. Face down on the ground before him was the battered, broken, and charred corpse of Sasuke Uchiha. Around him were the equally burnt bodies of four Iwa nin, it seemed that Sasuke had fought valiantly, but it wasn't enough. Chucks of earth were ripped out of the ground, and there was evidence of some of the rocks in the area being burnt to melting point.

As Kakashi inspected the body, he saw that the only part of Sasuke's body that wasn't burnt and covered in ash was his forehead protector and the Uchiha symbol on his back. He knew that Iwagakure hated the Uchiha with a passion, and that the assailants had left the symbol intact to mock the clan. Kakashi took a step forwards, and stepped on something that made a wet squelching noise. He looked down and saw that he had crushed an eye. And eye with the Sharingan still active.

It seemed the Rock nin tried to take Sasuke's eyes back to their village, but something, or someone, had stopped them.

Kakashi heard something rustling in the bushes behind him and he whirled around, Sharingan uncovered and kunai out.

"Who's there?! You sick bastards, come out and face your deaths!" Kakashi shouted, enraged.

"...Sensei...Damn you..." Naruto stumbled out of the bushes, missing an arm, his cloak gone, and his mask cracked. His legs had deep gashes all over them, and he was completely covered in blood. Even his bright blonde hair was stained dark orange.

"N-Naruto?" Kakashi asked shakily.

"...Damn you...This is what happens..." Naruto stumbled again as he limped towards his sensei. "...This is what happens when you don't show up on time!"

"I-I'm so sorry." Kakashi's eyes began to sting with tears as he quietly sobbed.

"...Everyone's dead, including me. I've lost too much blood, and the internal bleeding will kill me in a matter of minutes. Not even Kyuubi can stop this..." Naruto stopped clutching his arm, letting the blood pour out freely, and pulled out his sword. "...Everyone is dead...except for you...I'll take you to hell myself!" with that Naruto charged forward.

"Naruto, stop!" Kakashi screamed, not wanting to kill his last living student.

Naruto raised his blade, but suddenly coughed and fell to the ground. Blood leaked out from his mask, actually coming out of the eye slits to escape the airtight seal. It looked like Naruto was crying blood.

When he fell, Kakashi could see the skin on his back was gone, his spine was showing and some of his ribs were gone. Others were pushed into his lungs and other vital organs. Kakashi could even see the boy's heart, but it was no longer beating.

Kakashi dropped to his knees and broke down. He had failed, failed his father, his sensei, his old teammates, and most of all his students. They were dead because of him. They had suffered because of him.

The silver haired Jōnin was so wrapped up in his guilt and sorrow, he didn't notice Naruto's arm twitch, or that it was still clutching his sword. Naruto suddenly came back to life and lashed out with his sword, cutting Kakashi deeply across the belly. His intestines spilled out and he choked and gurgled as blood rushed up his throat, and he tried to keep his guts in.

**"Why, hello there, little human."** Naruto spoke in a voice that was not his own, unaffected by his torn and tattered lungs. **"You fucked up. You fucked up **_**bad**_**. You think this is bad? Ooh, just wait 'till we get to Hell; this'll be like a wetdream in comparison!" **he cackled.

Kakashi could do nothing to stop the bleeding, he couldn't move, he couldn't even send out a chakra pulse to tell others where he was. All he could do was let the cold, dark blanket that was death engulf him.

"I-I'm s-sorry..." with those last words, his world went black.

He never heard the words spoken by the real Naruto, "Infinite Nightmare, successful."

XXXX

Had you going there for a minute, didn't I?

I was going to stop things to make it look like everyone was really dead, but I have no idea when I'll put up the next chapter and I didn't want people thinking everyone was dead for who knows how long.

The only reason this chapter came so soon was because one of my cameras broke and we had to buy a new one for the next movie. We're waiting for it to ship from Japan right now and we ordered it on Monday, so it should be here any day now. After that I'll be in Washington(the state)camping out in the woods, so no internet access for me.

Hope you all like the new chapter!

Jason Out!


	6. The Fox And The Eagle

I'm Back! Me and the crew had to leave Washington early because of a wedding we had to attend.

Bryan, if you're reading this, congrats man! And I told you Sally had the hots for you! You owe me big for setting you two up!

Anyway, I finally got some time with my computer to do some typing...and paying bills online, but that's beside the point.

It's time for the first polls!

First: Should Haku live or die?

Second: Should she go to Konoha with Naruto and the gang, or should she stay in Wave with Tazuna's family if she does live?

Third: Should Zabuza be a heartless bastard all the way through, or should he show compassion for his subordinates?

Fourth: Should Zabuza live or die?

Fifth: Should Zabuza go to Konoha with Naruto and Co. if he does live?

Review and Vote! Now on with the story!

XXXX

(Hokage's Office)

Silence reigned as the Hokage and a group of assembled Jōnin mentally went over what they had just see through the scrying orb.

"Gotta say, that was impressive." Genma Shiranui was the first to speak, nodding in appreciation.

"I can't even remember the last time a Genjutsu actually worked on Kakashi." Gai remarked

"I...I need to get him to teach me that." Kurenai said.

Everyone looked at her like she had just grown another head.

"What? This is THE Hatake Kakashi we're talking about, here! I mean, the Genjutsu was so effective that it made him forget he had the Sharingan!"

Everyone else just took one last look at the woman, then nodded.

"Actually..." everyone snapped their attention to the corner of the room, where Naruto was standing with his unconscious teammates and sensei. "I made him think he'd uncovered it."

"H-how did you...!" Sarutobi looked back at the orb and saw that Naruto was indeed gone.

"What was that?" Kurenai asked.

"It's called 'Infinite Nightmare'. It takes a person's worst fear and makes it reality. Kakashi-sensei fears failing his teammates, his sensei, and his students. Well, that and the 'Icha Icha Series' being banned worldwide." everyone sweatdropped at this. "That technique requires eye contact though."

"Then how did you do it? Kakashi never looked you in the eye." Kurenai said.

Naruto just turned his head and away from her, then two red eyes opened up on the back of his head and stared at her. Then hundreds of eyes opened up all over his body and stared at everyone in the room.

"Well, that's a, uh...nifty technique." Genma complimented while edging away from the boy ever so slightly. Having twenty blood-red, unblinking eyes staring at you is quite unnerving even for a hardened shinobi.

"This is called the 'Thousand Eyes' technique. I can form eyes all over my body, and I can replicate the effect of the Byakugan, only with true three-hundred and sixty vision. When Kakashi was walking to the training field, I threw a rock at him. He caught it and looked in the direction it was thrown. He didn't see it, but that was when he looked into one of the eyes. The 'seed' for the Genjutsu was planted then, and I chose to activate it the moment he got to the training ground."

"Why?" Sarutobi asked.

"Well, I told him not to be late again, or else. He didn't take me seriously, and I made him pay for it." Naruto shrugged, then looked back at the other two members of his team. "Now, what should I do with them?...Ah, I've got it." with that Naruto bowed to those that outranked him, grabbed his team and sank into his shadow, chuckling evilly the whole time.

"Um..." Asuma was the one to break the somewhat awkward silence. "Should we be worried about them?"

"Absolutely." his father answered without hesitation.

"...Then shouldn't we go after them?" Kurenai suggested, then took a small step back when the other occupants of the office rounded on her with looks that just screamed "Are you stupid?!".

"You want to waste an hour or two on a wild goose chase, be my guest." Genma said. "Me? I'd sooner take a D-Class mission." as he turned around, he noticed that the Sandaime was holding out a scroll to him.

A scroll marked with a big fat "D".

"Ask, and ye shall receive." Asuma snickered.

"Aw c'mon!" Genma protested even as he took the scroll. "I wasn't serious!"

"Then you shouldn't have said it, hm?" Sarutobi smirked. "You haven't even opened it yet. Who knows, you might get a surprise." he could barely contain himself, but decades of training allowed him to keep a calm visage.

Genma let out a weak groan, but opened the scroll nonetheless. As soon as he did, his eyes instantly locked onto to a single word: "Tora". Though he didn't realize it, Genma's bottom lip began to quiver and tears formed at the corners of his eyes. He looked up from the scroll and saw the Hokage trying desperately to reign in his obvious amusement.

"..." Genma tried to say something, but only managed to produce a pitiful, sputtering, whining croak.

He was suddenly bombarded by four different camera flashes at the same time, ensuring his look of utter horror would be laughed at for years to come.

(Later That Day)

Sasuke awoke with a splitting headache.

"Ugh...what happened?" the last thing he remembered was looking up, then everything went black.

He tried to move his arm, but noticed that there was a lot of extra weight on it. He looked over and saw pink hair...

'Wait a minute...pink hair?...!' Sasuke actually slapped his free hand over his mouth to keep himself from screaming, lest he wake Sakura up.

"Mmm, Sasuke-kun...harder..." Sakura mumbled in her sleep.

Sasuke's eyes widened to the size of dinner plates. '"HARDER"?! Do WHAT harder?!' he frantically tried to recall doing anything with or to his female teammate.

"Ohhh, yeeesss...right there...that's it..." Sakura continued to make lewd comments in her sleep.

Sasuke's eye twitched violently. How could this have happened? And why with _her_ of all people?!

"Mmm, It's sooooo good..." Sakura mumbled.

Little did Sasuke know, Sakura's dream consisted of him giving her a massage, and cooking for her. Despite her seemingly naughty words, her dream was fairly innocent.

"Sasuke-kun...should I get the whip-..." Sakura mumbled the rest, but Sasuke had heard enough to jump to a conclusion. What he didn't know was that Sakura was just asking him if she should get the whipped cream for the sundaes they were eating in her dream.

But because Sasuke hadn't bothered to pay close enough attention, he was completely terrified.

Sakura chose this moment to snuggle up to her "pillow". She buried her face in the crook of Sasuke's neck and took a deep sniff.

This set Sasuke off and he did the only thing he could...

The citizens of Konohagakure no Sato all cringed as a high-pitched, yet still distinctly masculine scream ripped through the relative peace of the streets. When people realized that it was coming from the Uchiha compound, many thought that Itachi had come back to finish what he started.

The Hokage immediately dispatched a squad of ANBU. Some ninja that were near the compound also ran to aid the last loyal Uchiha.

On the roof of a building a mile away from the compound, Naruto sat, chuckling when he heard the scream. The chuckle became a full-on maniacal cackle when he saw the amount of ninja swarming to the compound.

'All according to plan.' he thought as he jumped down to join the "rescue party".

Mitara ran silently along with his ANBU unit, wondering just what was happening. Today was supposed to be his day off, and he was itching to take off his mask and hit the bar with his friends.

"Hello, Mitara-san." he heard a monotonous voice next to him.

He turned and saw the decorated Hunter-nin mask and the black cloak of the boy he had helped save six years ago.

"Hey, Naruto. I haven't seen you in a while, how're things?"

Naruto shrugged. "Good, for the most part."

Mitara raised an eyebrow behind his mask. "Oh? Is something wrong?"

"You could say that. It's my new...'team'. I have a useless fangirl, the emo-king Uchiha, and...Hatake is my new Jōnin sensei."

Mitara nodded in understanding. He had found out what had happened six years ago when Kakashi himself came to him to talk about it. They had been friends before that night, but Mitara had lost all respect he had for Kakashi after he had told him what he had done. Or in that case, had NOT done. Mitara understood he had a right to be angry at the Kyuubi, but to blame a six year old for killing your sensei? Absolute absurdity! And didn't the Yondaime sacrifice _himself_ to seal the demon fox?

"So, two Sharingan Bastards and some little girl playing ninja to impress one of them. You have my sympathy."

Naruto sighed. "It's only one Sharingan Bastard...for now. If the Uchiha has a massive ego now, I can hardly imagine what he'll be like when he activates his bloodline. And the others...The fangirl will think he's even more 'awesome' than he already is, and I'm sure Hatake will damn near forget about me and the girl...So it won't be all too different than it is now, since Hatake does nothing but read is little pervert book and tell us what we're doing wrong during a mission. Some 'sensei' he is."

"So, what does Kyuu-chan think about this?" Naruto had told Mitara about Kyuubi six years ago, the day after the attack.

(Flashback)

Mitara stormed down the halls of the ANBU headquarters. Kakashi had just told him what he had done during the attack on Naruto. How he had been there and had just watched what had happened. He'd even briefly thought of joining the assailants.

After that, Mitara had to restrain himself from beating Kakashi to within and inch of his life, then sending him to join his father in the most painful way possible.

"Son of the White Fang, and student of the Yondaime Hokage. Both of them must be turning over in their graves right now." Mitara scowled.

He felt the need to go and see the boy, but he needed to know what condition he was in first.

He saw some random ANBU in a goat mask walking down the hall in the opposite direction he was going. He could tell the guy was a rookie by the way he walked and carried himself. He had an aura of arrogance about him; probably still gloating over the fact that he was good enough to qualify for a position on an ANBU squad.

"Hey, you, new guy." Mitara said.

The goat ANBU looked at him, his body language reflecting his surprise. "How did you know I was new to the unit?"

"Call it a hunch. Do you know where Uzumaki Naruto is being held?"

The goat-masked ANBU adopted a thinking pose, and Mitara's eyebrow twitched behind his mask.

"The Kyuubi vessel."

Though he had a mask on, Mitara could tell the ANBU was scowling deeply.

"The Kyuubi? So the little monster lived, eh? Too bad, I guess the villagers weren't enough to put it down." the ANBU seemed to completely ignore the "vessel" part.

Mitara barely reigned in his anger. "What's your name?"

"Hm? Wh-" Mitara cut the ANBU off with a spike of killing intent.

"What. Is. Your. _Name_?" Mitara growled.

"Tsukune. Shioda Tsukune, s-sir." the rookie stuttered.

"Shioda-san...you have just violated the law set in place by the Sandaime Hokage. It is forbidden to mention Uzumaki's burden in a public place." (1)

"Wait, I-!" was all Tsukune managed to get out before Mitara grabbed his head and rammed it against the wall with enough force to make it splatter like a ripe melon.

At this moment another ANBU walked into the hall.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!" the deer-masked ANBU yelled.

Mitara slowly turned to the other ANBU, who gulped at the killing intent still coming off of Mitara in waves.

"Isaro...where is Uzumaki Naruto being held and what is his current condition? I'll warn you only once, I asked for UZUMAKI NARUTO. Not the 'demon', not the 'Kyuubi', not the 'Hellspawn'. I asked for the innocent six year old boy that was tortured and burned alive yesterday by his fellow Konoha citizens."

The ANBU known as Isaro gulped hard and stuttered out his reply. "U-Uzumaki is s-still in the s-same holding cell a-as last night. C-Cell S-One-Zero-Five. I-I don't know h-his current condition, y-you'll have to ask o-one of the d-doctors that Hokage-sama s-sent to monitor him."

Mitara nodded and walked to the area of the complex for the special holding cells. Before he left the hallway, he called to Isaro over his shoulder. "Tell your brother I said 'Hi' when you see him. And get someone to clean up that mess." with that Mitara left.

Isaro looked down at the "mess" that used to be the new recruit Tsukune Shioda's head and sighed.

"Damn, why do the newbies always manage to piss Mitara off?"

When Mitara arrived at special holding cell one-zero-five he saw two doctors talking to each other and writing things down on their clipboards. One was a female wearing a standard lab coat that went down to her knees and blue ninja sandals. She had light brown hair tied back in a shoulder length ponytail. The second doctor was a man with short, dark brown hair. He was also wearing a normal lab coat and he had on brown pants with black ninja sandals.

"Excuse me, doctor, what is Uzumaki-san's current status?"

The female doctor jumped and whirled around, revealing herself to be a young woman in her early twenties. Mitara's eyes were instantly drawn to her ample bosom, as the woman's clothing revealed a nice amount of cleavage. She was wearing a plain white button-up shirt with the top two buttons undone, and a brown skirt that went down just above her knees. Mitara grinned when he saw that she wasn't wearing a bra.

The male didn't even look up from his clipboard. "Naruto is fine; physically anyway. But I told you of his real problem last night, and nothing has changed as of yet. He's up now, reading a book."

"Can I go in to visit him?"

Now Mitara had the med-nin's attention. He leveled a hard glare at the ANBU. He looked to be in his late forties, maybe even early fifties, but had few wrinkles. He wore a black eyepatch with a fairly complex seal on it over his left eye, and he had a monocle on his right.

Mitara didn't know the med-nin personally, but he knew that he had one normal eye, and one with a permanently active Byakugan. It was almost like Kakashi with his Sharingan, except one of the doctor's parents was a Hyūga, the other was some random kunoichi the clansman had had an affair with. He used a seal on his eye patch to suppress his Byakugan, as it was a waste of chakra. Mitara had asked Kakashi why he didn't do the same, but he said that the seal took a while to get used to, and may be a hindrance during combat. It's said that the only reason the doctor didn't have the Caged Bird seal was because he was a valued friend of Hiashi Hyūga, the current Clanhead.

"Whatever you're planning to do to Naruto, get it out of your head right now. I don't care if you are an ANBU, I can and will kill you where you stand."

Mitara narrowed his eyes at the doctor. "I take offense to that, old man. I am not some simple-minded fool, like you're apparently used to dealing with. I know the boy is just that; a boy."

The med-nin gave Mitara one last skeptical look, then noticed the fresh blood on his hands.

"You've killed someone recently." he said, pointing his pen at Mitara's hands.

"Yeah, some newbie who talked too much."

The doctor actually smirked at this. "Glad to see there is another with a few working brain cells and some moral fiber to go with them."

"I didn't make it into ANBU by being stupid or overemotional." Mitara snorted. "Makes me wonder how so many others have, though."

The doctor chuckled at that. "You may go in. Though, you'll understand if I stick around, hm?

"Doesn't matter to me."

The doctor nodded and opened the door for Mitara. "Naruto-kun, you have a visitor." he spoke into the room.

"...Friend or foe?" a small, but strangely raspy and monotonous voice came from inside.

"If I'm letting him in, do you really have to ask?"

"...I can never be too sure, Mirano-san."

"Uzumaki-san, I can assure you that I am a friend." Mitara said as he stepped into the room.

As soon as Naruto saw the mask the ANBU was wearing, his eyes hardened as he went on the defensive.

"Who are you?" he demanded, closing her book with a loud snap.

"My name is Hagashi Mitara."

Naruto nodded, and he relaxed slightly, but anyone could tell he was still ready for anything.

"Just checking."

"Why?"

"It's your mask."

"Hm?"

"I've been attacked frequently by a Hyūga wearing that same mask."

Mitara nodded in understanding. "Ah, Kiro-teme. I never liked him. But this mask wasn't my choice..." Naruto looked at him strangely. "I wanted the wolf mask...Fuckin' Hatake..." Mitara muttered the last part and appeared to be pouting.

Naruto smirked and chuckled slightly at the ANBU's antics, but it was a hollow chuckle, almost completely devoid of any real mirth.

"So, you gonna to take that thing off? I'd like to know for a fact that you aren't that Hyūga."

Mitara merely nodded and recalled the chakra that held the mask in place. He pulled off the mask and revealed his face.

Naruto looked at the man before him. He was young, early twenties at the most, probably around nineteen, and had short black hair in a style that resembled a mop. His face was set in an emotionless visage, but Naruto could tell it wasn't natural for him. It just didn't look right on him. But what really drew Naruto's attention were Mitara's eyes. The whites of his eyes, or the sclera, were black, and there was a white ring around his iris'. His pupils appeared to be extremely dilated, with the only thing separating them from the sclera was the white ring.

Mitara chuckled, the youth before him seemed to be fascinated by his unusual eyes.

"These eyes are the reason I have this mask. When I was found at the gates of Konoha as a infant, no one knew what this Doujutsu was called, no one had ever seen it before. I was told that when the Sandaime picked me up, there was a large, black eagle perched in a tree near me. Hokage-sama said it nodded to him, then flew away, like it was waiting to see if I would be safe. I've never seen this eagle myself, but the Sandaime said it had the same eyes as mine, so he called my new bloodline the Eagle Eye. The mask is just a really lame joke."

Naruto nodded. "What does this...Eagle Eye do?"

"When I add chakra to my eyes..." Mitara did so and his pupils shrank, becoming small dots, and the white ring took up the space formerly occupied by them. "It allows me to see things that are very far away, and it automatically locks on to anything that moves. I don't use it very often, because it causes tunnel vision, and it sometimes locks onto things like falling leaves and insects." Mitara deactivated his eyes.

Naruto nodded, then went back to his book. "So, what are you here for?"

Mitara sat down of the edge of Naruto's bed and noticed that it was very stiff.

"You know, Naruto, you're better off sleeping on the floor than this bed."

Naruto looked at him. "It's better than what I sleep on at the orphanage."

Mitara was almost afraid to ask, but he had to know. "What's wrong with your bed there?"

"It was taken from a trash dump and put into my room, not even cleaned off in the slightest. It's moldy, the wood is rotting, and I'm guess the only reason it doesn't have bedbugs is because it would be too difficult to keep them confined to my room. There are rusty springs poking out everywhere. I actually saw one of the caretakers filing them to make them sharper, but no one believes me. And sometimes they put things in it when I'm out. Last time it was spiders, and before that it was giant leeches. I can't wait to see what they've thought of while I've been here."

Mitara was appalled and enraged all at once. Not even captured nukenin and prisoners of war were treated that badly! He would definitely tell the Sandaime about this. The question was, would that be before or after he took care of things personally?

"Naruto, tell me, who are these caretakers? I'd like to...pay them a _visit_." Mitara grinned sadistically at the thoughts of what he would do to the fools who would dare harm an innocent child, and fellow citizen of the Hidden Leaf Village.

Naruto just shook his head. "Just kill them all, they've all done something to me. They give the other kids special treats for beating me up and taking my stuff, then punish me for 'starting fights' and 'stealing their things'. Half the time I don't get to eat at all, and when I do my food is usually rotten and/or poisoned. They lock me out on purpose all the time, then punish me for staying out all night. One time there was a fire and they put a chair in front of my door to keep it from opening. I used a technique that Hokage-sama had taught me to defend myself to break the wall down and get outside. I was then blamed for starting the fire, and punished for breaking the wall."

Mitara had to stop the boy, or else a few more graves what have to be dug in the cemetery. But he wasn't fast enough, and Naruto kept going.

"There were two people that were nice to me though. But one of them tried to kill me in my sleep when I was four, and I stabbed her in the heart with the knife she was using. And the other woman just disappeared, but I know they killed her, or at least drove her out of the village. Of course I was blamed for her disappearance, but they had no proof that I did anything. That doesn't stop people from bringing it up all the time and saying I did it."

Mitara was so close to snapping that killing intent was rolling off of him, but Naruto wasn't affected by it in the least. How could anyone do that to another living being?! Let alone a child? They called Naruto a demon, yet they did things like that and he did nothing to them at all! He was willing to bet that not even demons were that cruel to their own kind.

"I will tell Hokage-sama of this, and then I will personally see to their punishment, whether by the Sandaime's order or not. They will be brought to justice...Very, very painful justice."

Naruto nodded. "Hey, Mitara-san."

"Yes?"

"Do you know why everyone calls me a demon?" Naruto innocently asked.

Mitara began to sweat, he was treading on very thin ice right now. One slip of the tongue, and all hell could break loose. Perhaps quite literally.

"No, Naruto. I can only assume that they are idiots, plain and simple."

Naruto narrowed his eyes. "You are lying. You know exactly why I am called a demon. But I don't get it, aren't I just the demon's vessel?"

Mitara's eyes widened to almost impossible diameters. "Y-you know of the d-demon?"

"Yes, I know of Kyuubi. While everyone else thinks I'm reading, I'm actually talking to her."

"I see...Wait, 'HER'! Kyuubi's a female?!" Mitara screamed, then immediately covered his mouth.

Just then the door to the room burst open and an enraged med-nin stormed in and slammed to door behind him.

"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!" Mirano yelled.

"I did nothing! Naruto already knew about Kyuubi!" Mitara defended himself.

Mirano's eyes widened as Mitara's had, and his monocle fell to the floor and shattered on impact.

"Come again?"

"Yes, Morino-san, I've been talking to Kyuubi-hime for the past ten hours."

"Hmm...Wait, 'Kyuubi-HIME?!" Mirano screamed, just as Mitara had.

Mitara slapped his hand over the doctor's mouth. "Dammit, Old Man! What if your hot assistant hears you?!"

Mirano pulled Mitara's hand off and glared at the young ANBU. "One: I already put a sound seal on the room. Two: I ain't that old, dammit! And Three: Yoshi-chan is hot, isn't she?" Mirano said the last part with a lecherous grin.

Mitara's eye twitched. "I'd better never hear you call anyone a pervert, you old letch!" he shouted.

Naruto glared at Mirano. "You should be ashamed of yourself, Mirano-san."

Mirano glared at Naruto. "I didn't hear you complaining when she was hugging you and screaming 'kawaii'!"

Naruto's eyebrow twitched and he lifted his book in front of his face, and Mirano adopted a triumphant grin.

Mitara narrowed his eyes at the other two occupants of the room. "Perverts, the both of you." he nodded sagely.

Both Naruto and Mirano scowled at the ANBU.

"Hold it," Mirano said, "you're the one who started this whole thing! You have no right to call us perverts!"

"Hypocrite." Naruto mumbled.

Mitara shrugged. "Hey, at least I'm honest about it. Anyway, we're getting off topic here. Now back to Kyuubi being a chick." Mitara quickly changed to subject.

"...Nice save." Naruto complimented.

"Thanks."

"...And Kyuubi-hime takes offense to being called a chick. She says she prefers the term 'Vixen'."

"Oh, umm...Sorry?" Mitara rubbed the back of his head sheepishly.

"...She says apology accepted."

Mitara sighed in relief, that last thing he wanted was for the most powerful demon in the world to be mad at him.

For the next few hours Naruto told both Mitara and Mirano things about his life, things that made them cringe. He relayed things to them that Kyuubi said, and they found out that she wasn't so bad. They had asked why she had attacked Konoha, but all she said was that it wasn't completely her fault. After that she had retreated back into Naruto's mind. Naruto had said that he could here faint noises that sounded like soft sobbing in the back of his mind.

Mitara had found out that Mirano was the medic had always treated Naruto. He and a few others saw the boy for who he truly was, and had pitied him. But that pity soon turned into admiration, how could the kid still remain sane and neutral after the things that were done to him? Then that admiration turned into love, he was like a little brother, or even a son, to everyone in their little circle.

Mitara had found out that Mirano and the others would sometimes kill ninjas and villagers whom they knew had harmed Naruto before when they came in with serious injuries . And through it all, Naruto remained completely emotionless. Neither Mitara or Mirano knew if the boy had even blinked during their lengthy conversation.

It was later revealed that Mirano had been present at Naruto's birth, and he had been on the battlefield when the Yondaime had given his last breath to tell those around him his final wish.

Mitara had asked who Naruto's parents were, but Mirano's response was: "If you don't already know, then you don't need to. Not yet anyway."

When Naruto had asked, Mirano said this: "I'm sorry, Naruto-kun, but it is not my place to reveal that to you. You will be told when the time is right, or when you find out on your own."

Naruto shrugged. "I'm probably not going to live all that long anyway."

Mitara winced. "Why do you say that?"

Naruto cast him a incredulous glance. "This village will not let me live, it's that simple."

This was when Mitara and Mirano glanced at each other, both with identical glints in their eyes.

"Naruto-kun, why don't you become a ninja? Then you would be able to defend yourself from anyone." Mirano said.

Mitara nodded. "Yeah, show everyone that you aren't the demon they see you as."

Naruto cracked a small smile. It would be his last for a very long time. "I already wanted to be a ninja. But it was because I thought ninjas were cool and respected. I even wanted to be Hokage, because I thought he was the coolest of them all. But now I know that it was just a pipedream. I will never be Hokage...I will be stronger than the Hokage. Stronger than anyone!" Naruto narrowed his eyes, which now burned with the fires of determination. 'Then I'll show them what happens to people who wake up sleeping dragons.'

Mirano smiled, Naruto may have been an emotionless machine now, but he still had his heart and at least some of his old spirit.

After that, Naruto said he was tired and wanted to rest. Before Mitara and Mirano left, Naruto told them not to tell anyone of what they heard and said here. Kyuubi also added her two cents, saying that she would kill them and anyone they told if they spilled anything. Both of them wisely vowed their silence on the matter, they knew that demons as powerful as her didn't make false threats.

When they were outside the door, Mirano gave the now sleeping Naruto one last glance and smiled.

"You know something, Mitara? He can do it." he said.

Mitara raised an eyebrow. "Do what?"

"He can achieve his goal. He has the potential to be the strongest shinobi the world has ever known. His father was well on his way to achieving that title himself."

Mitara looked at the doctor curiously for a few minutes, then it hit him.

"Naruto's father was-!" Mirano slapped his hand over the ANBU's mouth.

"Quiet, you fool! The walls have ears, remember that at all times. The only reason I said anything to you was because you just helped to change Naruto's life, hopefully for the better. I can tell that he trusts you, and for now so do I. But if you betray either of us, I will not hesitate to kill you. And I doubt Kyuubi will appreciate that either."

Mitara's eyes narrowed and he pried Mirano's hand off.

"As long as I am still breathing, I will do all I can for Naruto. And even after I die, I will still watch over him. Not even the Shinigami himself will be able to stop me. And speaking of him, when I finally meet him, I'm going to find the Yondaime and kick the unliving shit out of him for cursing an innocent child like this."

(End Flashback)

Naruto shrugged again. "She hates Hatake with a passion, he's just another asshole to me."

Mitara just nodded.

"Hey, Naruto, Mitara!" two identical voices called out on either side of them.

Mitara looked over and saw an ANBU in a deer mask. "What's up, Isaro?" he greeted his friend.

Naruto looked over and saw an ANBU in a jackal mask. "Hello, Inaro-san."

"Hey, dudes! So, what do you think's up with the Uchiha?" Inaro asked.

"Yeah, we heard that scream all the way across the village!" Isaro said.

Inaro and Isaro were twin brothers from the Mokiten clan, a little known clan with some powerful family techniques. The only way to tell the two apart without their masks was their odd hairstyles. Inaro's hair was swept back into a ponytail on the left side, and it fell in front of the entire right side of his face. Isaro's hair was swept back into a ponytail on the right side, and fell in front of his face on the left side.

The hairstyles sort of reminded Naruto of the Yamanaka he went to the academy with. "Ino", if he remembered correctly. About one step above the Haruno, in Naruto's eyes.

Mitara shrugged. "Don't know, but that sounded like a scream of terror, not pain. So I highly doubt Itachi is back, besides, from what I know of his personality he would wait until Sasuke at least had a fully-matured Sharingan. He'd want some kind of challenge."

Inaro and Isaro nodded. "So, what is going on then? If it ain't Itachi...There ain't much that could make an Uchiha scream like that, even if he is only a kid." Inaro said.

Mitara shrugged again. "I could be wrong, but I have an idea of who's behind it." he cast a suspicious glance at Naruto.

Both twins caught the look. "So, this is your doing, eh Naruto?" Isaro asked.

Naruto just looked at them with a small glint in his eyes. "I guess I've been found out. Oh well. Shall we go see the fruits of my labor?" he said as he pulled out a no-flash low-light camera.

Mitara and the twins looked at each other and nodded, pulling out cameras identical to Naruto's. "Oh yeah." they all chorused. Naruto's pranks were quite famous amongst ninja at Jōnin level and above, as they were the only ones with even a hope of catching Naruto in the act, or just catching him period.

The odd group of three ANBU and a Genin picked up their pace, wanting to get to the Uchiha compound before the others so they could get the pictures without anyone seeing them.

(Back With Sasuke)

After he had screamed, Sasuke had passed out, and Sakura had awakened. She saw Sasuke still asleep and squealed, thinking that it was a dream, she went back to sleep, a content smile on her face.

This was the scene that Naruto, Mitara, Inaro and Isaro arrived to see. Naruto was chuckling evilly, Inaro and Isaro had lecherous grins behind their masks, and Mitara was desperately trying not to laugh. He was failing miserably.

The ANBU were about to take their pictures, but Naruto stopped them.

"Wait, there's still one last thing to do."

The ANBU cocked their heads to the side. "What more could you possibly do to them?" Mitara asked, though he was looking forward to finding out.

Naruto just grinned madly behind his mask and turned to Sasuke. He took out two small pills, one was light blue and the other was dark red. He placed them both in Sasuke's mouth when he opened it to snore loudly.

"What was that?" Mitara asked.

Naruto turned to him with a devilish glint in his eyes. "Fast-acting Viagra and a 'Grin' pill."

"What's a Grin pill?"

"You'll see."

After about two minutes a visible bulge formed in the Uchiha's pants, and his face held a grin that was close to splitting his head in half.

"So that's your plan." Mitara snickered.

"Oh, I'm not done yet." Naruto said.

His cloak extended and grabbed Sakura's hand and placed it on Sasuke's erection. Then he took out a bottle of library paste. He placed the white glue all over Sasuke and Sakura's faces and hair. He also put some on the bed and the walls. He took out a tissue box and crumpled some of them and tossed them randomly on the bed and around the room after putting some glue inside them. He even stuck one to the ceiling for extra laughs.

Inaro and Isaro were almost rolling on the floor, and Mitara looked like his head was about to explode from laughter. How they managed not to make a sound was an ANBU secret.

After Naruto was done the entire room looked like something directly out of Kakashi's books. He stepped back to take the pictures, but he was stopped by Mitara.

"Wait, Naruto, there's still one more thing. A little 'gift' for when they wake up." he took the glue from Naruto and put some on Sakura's hand, then placed it back on Sasuke's crotch.

Inaro and Isaro were on the floor now, absolutely rolling while instinctively covering their mouths, even though they were wearing masks.

Naruto nodded. "Now it's perfect." he took the first picture.

He and the ANBU all took pictures from different angles, grinning like demons the whole time.

"These are definitely going on the Highlight Wall at headquarters." Inaro snickered.

"Oh yeah." Isaro agreed.

"Why stop there?" Mitara said.

"We could put them up all over the village. I'll even deliver some to the Uchiha Fanclub, they'll be sure to throw a fit." Naruto said.

They all stopped when they felt the first chakra signature enter the compound. Naruto used his cloak to grab Mitara and the twins and they sank into the floor. Naruto kept them all on the edge of the Shadow Realm and the normal world, so they could watch everything without any one noticing.

The first person knocked down the door and they were surprised to see it was Kakashi himself.

As soon as Kakashi saw Sasuke he started to call them others. "He's in here and he's...!" he did a double take when he saw the state of the room and two of his students in a very compromising position. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TWO DOING?!" he shouted.

Sasuke and Sakura immediately awoke. "What happened?! Where am I? Oh, what are you doing here...sen...sei..." Sakura stopped talking when she felt her hand on something hard. She squeezed it experimentally and she heard Sasuke's breath hitch before he let out a shuddering groan.

Sakura looked at her hand and saw where it was, she screamed and tried to let go, but she couldn't.

"LET GO OF ME YOU RAPIST!" Sasuke screamed.

"I CAN'T!" Sakura screamed back.

"'CAN'T' OR 'WON'T'?!" none of them noticed that Sasuke was grinning like a madman and talking funny.

"I CAN'T, IT'S STUCK!"

"LIAR!" Sasuke tried to pry Sakura's hand off, but found that it was indeed stuck to his shorts. "OH SHIT!"

"LANGUAGE!" Kakashi yelled.

"FUCK YOU, I WAS RAPED BY A FANGIRL!" Sasuke screamed back.

"FAIR ENOUGH!" Kakashi shouted, then noticed Sasuke's freakish grin. "LIAR, THAT IS _NOT_ THE FACE OF A VICTIM!"

"What?!" Sasuke felt his face and confirmed that he did have a freakishly large grin. "WHAT THE HELL?!"

This was when the rest of the rescue party barged in and stared bug-eyed at the scene before them.

Naruto and the others couldn't watch anymore, or Naruto would lose his concentration and blow their cover. He transported them to the shadow of a tree a few hundred feet from the Uchiha Compound.

There, they all, even Naruto, burst into laughter.

"Oh...man...Naruto! That...was...the best...prank...EVER!" Mitara struggled to talk between laughs.

Inaro and Isaro just patted Naruto on the before the fell to the ground again, laughing their asses off.

Naruto was laughing for the first time in six years, really laughing. This was the first time he had pulled a prank with anyone other than Anko watching him, and he had to admit it felt good to have friends. Naruto's small circle of friends consisted of the three ANBU before him, Mirano and some of the doctors and nurses that worked under him, the Hokage, Anko, and Iruka had proven that he was a consideration. He hadn't really associated with Hinata enough to call her a friend, but if Kyuubi had anything to say about it, the Hyūga would end up being more than that.

After they finally regained their composure they went their separate ways, the ANBU going off to see what missions they had, and Naruto went back to the Uchiha compound to join his team. And of course to see how Sasuke and Sakura were fairing.

When Naruto arrived at the entrance of the clan compound he saw two Chūnin quietly snickering about his prank.

"Hey, you two, I'm looking for Uchiha Sasuke, Haruno Sakura, and Hatake Kakashi. An ANBU told me they were here, are they?" he asked the two ninja.

Both ninja looked at him and tried to scowl and glare, but what they had seen was just too funny for even the demon to get them upset.

"Yeah, they're still here. Though the Uchiha may want some...privacy." the two Chūnin held their stomachs while laughing at the Uchiha's "misfortune".

Naruto just nodded and walked straight to Sasuke's room. When he arrived he saw his team in pretty much the same way he had left them earlier. Sakura's hand was still stuck on Sasuke's shorts. Sasuke had a monstrous grin of his face, but his eyes told a completely different story, and his raging hard-on told the same story as his grin. Kakashi was in the process of trying to pull off one of the tissues that had somehow gotten stuck on his face, without actually touching the thing.

They all noticed Naruto and they scowled at him, as he was only one unaffected by this incident.

Naruto just cocked his head to the side. "...I see Hatake-sensei has corrupted you two." Naruto said.

Kakashi huffed at the remark. "Hey, I had nothing to do with this! I am strongly against under-age sex!"

Naruto just looked at them all and shrugged. "We are ninja, we were trained to kill. Old enough to kill, old enough to fuck."

"Language!" Kakashi yelled.

Naruto shrugged again. "Old enough to kill, old enough to curse. Besides, who are you to lecture me on manners? You read porn in public and in front of minors."

Kakashi glared at Naruto, then shrugged as well. "As you said: 'Old enough to kill'..."

Naruto just snorted, then looked up. "...How did you manage to get one on the ceiling?"

Everyone just stared at the masked boy. "What?" they all looked up, and sure enough there was a balled up tissue stuck to the ceiling above the bed.

"So...what are we going today?" Naruto asked.

Kakashi gave up on trying to remove the tissue without touching it and had just ripped it off his mask, though a small bit was left behind.

"Well first, he need to get these two lovebirds unstuck." Kakashi eye smiled when he saw Sasuke's eyes flash with rage.

"...You can do that, I'm not getting anywhere near Uchiha-san's crotch." Naruto said, he could always get his cloak to do it, but he was pretty sure it already resented him for making it put her hand there in the first place.

Kakashi just sighed and returned to trying to pry Sakura's hand off of Sasuke's pants.

"Man, what is this stuff?" Kakashi muttered.

'Only the best for my pranks.' Naruto thought. 'So, Kyuu-chan, have you decided on what you are going to have me do yet?'

**"I have so many ideas, but I can't decide on just two. I'll tell you when I decide."**

'Very well. Oh, I've been meaning to ask you, I've been thinking of training with weights. Can I make the Biosuit heavier?'

**"Of course. The Biosuit reacts to mental commands and chakra. Just send chakra into it and tell it what you want it to do." **(2)

'Alright.' Naruto did as Kyuubi said and sent a small pulse of chakra into the armor. 'One hundred pounds on each arm, two hundred on each leg, and four hundred on my torso.' Naruto mentally commanded.

The armor glowed slightly, but the cloak covered it. Naruto was instantly weighed down, and he almost fell to the floor. He had been expecting a gradual increase in weight over a couple seconds until it was at the right level, not for the process to be instantaneous.

No one noticed anything except for Kakashi. He had seen Naruto shudder and jerk forward a fraction of an inch, like he was going to fall over. But he thought nothing of it and just filed it away.

XXXX

Well, now that that's done, it's back to video games and paintball for me! I have nothing scheduled for a while, so I should be able to update soon.

But I make no promises, my life is pretty hectic, so anything could happen.

(1): Okay, so Mitara mentioned it first, but he had a valid reason to.

(2): Thought I forgot about the Biosuit, didn't you?

Read, Review and Vote! If you don't, you have no right to complain about what happens later in the story!

Jason Out!


	7. Mission To Wave

Here's chapter seven for all my readers!

Votes are as follows:

Haku lives: 4

Haku dies: 0

Haku goes to Konoha: 3

Haku stays with Tazuna's family: 1

Zabuza's a heartless bastard: 2

Zabuza's compassionate: 1

Zabuza lives: 3

Zabuza dies: 1

Zabuza goes to Konoha: 3

Hm, people must really like Haku, no one wants her to die.

You guys have until chapter nine at the longest to vote, so hurry up, 'cause I'm writing pretty fast!

Disclaimer: Yada, yada, yada, whatever. If you don't know this shit by now, you ain't been readin'!

XXXX

(Three Hours Later)

Kakashi had finally succeeded in un-sticking his two students, but it was extremely frustrating. Kakashi had to do all the work, while Naruto just stood by the door and pointed out random things. Kakashi had wanted to just cut the section of Sasuke's pants that Sakura was glued to off, but the Uchiha wouldn't let anyone near his crotch holding a sharp object.

After two hours, Naruto had pointed out the most obvious way to remedy the situation: just take Sasuke's pants off. They were in his room, so he could just get another pair. Kakashi had glared fiercely at the cloaked boy, but Sakura had a perverted glint in her eyes and she nodded vigorously.

After Sasuke had slipped out of his pants and ran into his bathroom, Sakura had squealed and ran off with his shorts. Kakashi tried to stop her, but he had mysteriously tripped on his way out the door. He glared at Naruto again, but he just shrugged.

Then Sasuke came out of the bathroom in another pair of khaki shorts. He asked where Sakura went, and when he was told he had to be held down by Kakashi to keep him from going after her.

"You don't understand! She'll put then in her creepy Fangirl Shrine! I must save them!" Sasuke screamed.

"NO! Don't you see? That's exactly what she wants you to do! What do you think will happen when she gets you trapped in her house?"

Sasuke immediately stopped struggling.

An hour later Team Seven was together again and standing in the Hokage's office for their next mission.

"Alright," Sarutobi started, "there are three D-class missions you can do. You can paint old lady Seimu's house; or walk the Inuzuka's dogs; or you can find Lady Shijimi's cat, Tora, ag-..."

"No." the Sandaime was cut off by Naruto. "I refuse to find that damned feline again. If I find it, I kill it, simple as that."

"I'm gonna have to agree with the creep on this one." said Sasuke.

"Yeah! We need a higher ranked mission!" Sakura yelled.

"You kids quiet down and show some respect for Hokage-sama!" Iruka yelled. "Besides, you aren't ready for higher ranked missions yet!"

Naruto gave Iruka a look that said "If you want to die, say that again." and Iruka gulped.

"I'll settle for that C-class mission in the scroll on your desk, Hokage-sama." Naruto pointed out the scroll that the Sandaime seemed to be trying to hide.

The Hokage sighed. "Very well, Naruto."

Iruka stared at the old man. "What? They aren't ready for a C-class mission yet!"

"Uchiha-san and Haruno-san may not be ready, but I am. In case you've all forgotten, I did defeat Hatake-sensei in battle." Naruto said.

Sasuke growled. "What was that, freak?"

Sakura mimicked Sasuke's growl, although pathetically. "Sasuke-kun could kick your ass any day of the week!"

Kakashi's eyebrow twitched. 'Why did he have to bring that up in front of the Hokage?'

Naruto turned back to his "teammates". "Listen, you pathetic excuses for shinobi, you don't like me and I sure as hell don't like you. The difference between us is that I can do something about you two, but you two can't do shit to me even if I let you. So just sit down, shut up, and let the real ninjas talk." just mentioning the name of that accursed cat got Naruto in a bad mood.

Sakura shrank back in fear, but Sasuke just growled louder. Who did this freakish commoner think he was? Calling an Uchiha pathetic? Not even the worst enemies of the clan would go as far as to say something like that.

He was about to attack his masked teammate when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He looked up and saw Kakashi with a serious expression and shaking his head.

"Don't do it, Sasuke. Remember what happened the last two times. Think before you act." Kakashi whispered.

"You'd do well to remember that, Uchiha-san." Naruto said.

Sasuke was about to attack again, but Kakashi squeezed his shoulder and he backed down, for the time being.

"Now that that's over, your mission is to escort a master bridge builder to Wave country. You may come in now, Tazuna-san." the aged Hokage said.

The door to the office opened and a drunken old man walked in, still holding a bottle of sake.

"These are my escorts? I asked for ninja, not some snot-nosed brats! And who's the super emo fairy boy?" Tazuna pointed at Sasuke with that last remark.

The Uchiha growled and tried to launch himself at the bridge builder, but Kakashi held him back.

"Now, now, Sasuke. No killing the customers, it's bad for business." he said, not bothering to look up from his book.

While Kakashi was holding Sasuke, Sakura was free to inflict all manners of pain on the old drunk.

"How dare you call Sasuke-kun a fairy boy!" the banshee screamed and tried to punch Tazuna.

Suddenly, she was seeing everything upside down. She looked over and saw Naruto's masked face.

"Dammit, you useless girl, stop being all bitchy to everyone that doesn't like the Uchiha. Besides, what use is anger when you are too weak to harness it?" with that Naruto's cloak dropped Sakura, who was almost in tears.

"Naruto, that was uncalled for." Kakashi said sternly, even though he knew everything Naruto said was true, Sakura was very weak.

Naruto looked at the Jōnin. "No, the situation calls for more, but we don't have the time. And I don't want her tears making her more useless than she already is. But you are at fault here as well, sensei. If you taught her something every once in awhile maybe she wouldn't be so weak...but I doubt it." this was about as pissed as anyone had ever seen Naruto.

He was normally calm, cool and collected to the point of being able to freeze an iceberg. (Yes, _freeze_ an iceberg)

'He must really hate that cat.' the adult shinobi in the room thought.

As they walked out the begin the mission, Naruto tossed an envelope to the Hokage. He caught it and was about to ask what it was, but Naruto was already gone. He opened it, then he and Iruka burst out laughing. Inside the envelope was photographic evidence of Naruto's prank.

"So, that was Naruto's doing, eh?" Iruka chuckled as he held up a particularly embarrassing photo.

Both the Hokage and the teacher had heard of the scene at the Uchiha complex, but neither had seen it. They had paperwork to do at the time.

'DAMNED PAPERWORK!' they both mentally screamed.

(Konoha's Main Gate)

Sasuke and Sakura, along with a sober Tazuna, were waiting for their sensei and their last teammate.

"They're both late! I can't believe it!" Sakura screamed.

Both Tazuna and Sasuke took a step away from the girl.

"You never learn, do you?" Naruto said as he rose out of the shadow of a tree. "I always get to the meeting point before any of you. And Hatake-sensei isn't late, you're early and your watches aren't set right."

Sakura and Tazuna jumped at Naruto's voice, Sasuke just flinched and glared.

"You, what is that technique?" Sasuke demanded.

Naruto sighed. "It's called the Shadow Walk...It's pretty self-explanatory."

"Teach it to me."

"No."

"What was that?" Sasuke growled, no one refused an Uchiha's demands!

"I said 'No'. Are you deaf as well as dumb? You can't learn this technique, anyway, you don't have an elemental alignment with Darkness." Naruto mentally counted down the seconds until their sensei showed up. 'Three...Two...One.'

"Yo!" Kakashi appeared in a puff of smoke.

Sasuke ignored his teacher. "What's an 'Elemental Alignment'?"

"It's the element that you are attuned to. For example: Hatake's has an alignment with Lightning and Fire. It would be Water and Lightning, but, because of the Sharingan, Water was replaced with the alignment all Uchihas have: Fire."

Kakashi eyed Naruto, sensing elemental alignments was a skill that even most Kages couldn't do without element cards. The boy was just full of surprises.

Sakura decided to butt in before Sasuke demanded something else.

"Um...What is my alignment?" she asked.

Naruto stared at her for a minute, creeping her out before he spoke. "Your alignment is Earth. And before you ask, Uchiha-san, your alignment is Fire and Lightning, like Hatake-sensei."

Sasuke seemed satisfied with Naruto's answer, then turned his attention to Kakashi. 'He has the Sharingan? Maybe he can help me unlock mine. I must gain enough power to beat that freak Naruto and..._him_.'

But one person wasn't satisfied. "What are your alignments, Naruto?" Sakura asked.

Naruto stared at her again. "They're carved into my mask. Darkness, Fire, and Wind." he sighed. "I apologize for what I said earlier, but it was all true, you truly are weak in every sense of the word." Sakura looked down, like she was about to cry. "But, you can always train to get stronger. To help you I'll tell you this; those with Earth alignments usually have superhuman physical strength exceptional chakra control, and they make superb medics. From what I know of Tsunade, the legendary medic, she has an extremely strong alignment with Earth. So train to be a medic if you wish to continue being a kunoichi." with that Naruto walked out of the village through the now open gates.

(Hours Later)

Team Seven and Tazuna made camp about three miles from where they were supposed to catch a boat across the river to Wave. Sakura and Tazuna were exhausted from walking for so long and were already asleep. Sasuke was barely awake, but was forcing himself to stay up. Kakashi and Naruto didn't seem tired in the least, and Sasuke figured they would talk to pass the time. Even Naruto had to get bored at some point, so he waited, pretending to asleep.

He was hoping he could find out more about Naruto, specifically weaknesses. They might even talk about techniques. He should have known that this wouldn't happen because of Naruto's secretive nature. He would just give little tidbits of information, things that weren't important in the long run, but would leave you wanting to know more.

Both Kakashi and Sasuke got the feeling that Naruto was just taunting them with the info he did give. Taunting them with things that they had no hope of learning. Telling them that he knew much more than they did, and would continue to learn while they were kept in the dark...or the light, depending on your view. As it's said; "Knowledge is power".

Naruto took to sleeping in a tree, while Kakashi sat next to the camp fire with everyone else. They were still in Konoha territory, so the only ninja that were likely to show up were the patrol ANBU.

Sasuke stayed awake for about half an hour, then he was out. Right after that Naruto spoke.

"Now that the Uchiha has stopped trying to eavesdrop, there's something Tazuna-san isn't telling us." Naruto said.

Kakashi sighed. "You think so too? Yes, there's more to this mission than meets the eye. Look underneath the underneath."

"Indeed." Naruto nodded. "I hope we encounter someone worth my time." he grinned behind his mask.

"Careful what you wish for." Kakashi said.

Naruto looked at Kakashi, a grin still on his face. "Oh? You of all people should know how the world works. If you want something to happen, it won't, but if you don't want it to, it will, and at the worst possible time. If I hadn't said anything, we would probably have an S-class missing-nin after us by tomorrow. The fact that I did say something means it will probably only be a B-class...Maybe I should have kept quiet. Oh well. We shall see what tomorrow brings when it comes." with that Naruto slipped into a light sleep.

Kakashi spared Naruto one last glance before he, too, went to sleep. 'He sounds just like Itachi.'

(The Next Morning)

Kakashi awoke with a yawn and rubbed his eye. He looked around the camp and saw that everything was intact and everyone was still there.

The sound of Kakashi yawning woke Sasuke up and he yawned as well. He felt a presence next to him and looked to his right. He almost screamed when he saw Sakura's pink hair. Somehow, the girl rolled out of her sleeping bag and had been stopped by Sasuke's body. He heard giggling and he looked at his sensei, who looked like he was close to laughing his ass off.

Sasuke glared at the Jōnin and mouthed "Help me."

Kakashi just shook his head. Sasuke rose an eyebrow and Kakashi pointed at Sakura. He put his hands together like he was praying, then tilted them sideways and laid his head on them, like he was sleeping. Then he shook his head again.

It took a moment for Sasuke to figure out what the gesture meant, but when it hit him he glared at Sakura's "sleeping" form.

"...Let go of me." Sasuke said.

Sakura's eyes opened and she huffed. "But Sasuke-kuuuun..." she whined. When Sasuke didn't respond she let go. "Fine, be that way." she then glared at Kakashi, who just smiled innocently.

"Good morning, Sakura!" Kakashi greeted.

Sakura's glare intensified. "It would have been better if you hadn't interfered!" Inner Sakura shouted.

"Good morning, Sasuke!" Kakashi greeted his other student.

"Hn." was the Uchiha's response.

"Good morning, Naruto!"

Naruto just slowly turned his head to Kakashi. "What, exactly, is so good about it?" he asked monotonously.

Kakashi shrugged. "Nothing different from other mornings, I suppose."

Naruto snorted. "For me? No. I'm used to waking up in a tree, on a mission with people I don't like." sarcasm was just dripping from his voice.

Kakashi sweatdropped. "Not a morning person, are you?"

"What was your first clue?"

"Did you sleep at all last night?"

"I don't sleep, I wait." Naruto finished his dialogue with his sensei and hopped down from his tree.

It was after this that Tazuna woke up and they were on their way again. After about a mile the team came across a puddle. Sasuke, Sakura and Tazuna didn't think anything of it. But Naruto and Kakashi could easily tell it was a low Chūnin-level Genjutsu.

'Hmm, it's Summer and it hasn't rained in this area for two weeks. That puddle isn't even in the shade...Pathetic...There are two of them, mid-Chūnin at best...Meh, beggars can't be choosers.' Naruto looked at Kakashi.

Kakashi, of course, knew about the shinobi hidden underneath the puddle, and he knew that Naruto knew. Naruto started making subtle hand signs, and Kakashi instantly understood.

'ANBU signs? How the hell does he know ANBU signs?' Kakashi thought, but responded with more signs.

The hand signs translated roughly into this: "Two Chūnin, under the puddle."

"I know."

"Can I kill them?"

"No, wait. They may have information that we need."

"Very well."

Naruto and Kakashi continued like nothing was wrong.

After they passed the puddle, two figures dressed in camo pants and tattered cloaks arose from the water. They both had black hair and wore gasmasks. They had wickedly clawed gauntlets on opposing arms that were connected with a chain made of small interlocking blades. They also had horned forehead protectors with the Hidden Mist symbol and a slash going through the middle, identifying them as nuke-nin from Kirigakure no Sato, the Village Hidden in the Mist.

One ninja stood on the other's arm, like a bird. Then he was flung at the team of Konoha-nin and the bridge builder. They wrapped the blade-chain around the leader of the group and yanked hard, slicing him to pieces.

"One little pig..." both ex-Mist-nin chuckled.

Naruto didn't even flinch at Kakashi's dismemberment, but he did smirk when he saw him use a replacement at the last second and hide in a nearby bush. Sakura, of course, screamed in horror at the bloody chunks of meat that were the remains her sensei. Sasuke's eyes widened as he tried to keep up the "cool guy" act.

The two nuke-nin dashed over to Naruto and tried to slash him with their poison-tipped claws.

"Two little pigs...!" the two assassins never hit a thing, as their target suddenly disappeared. "What th-!" they were both cut off by a kunai whizzing passed and pinning their chain to a tree.

They tried to pull away from it, but they couldn't break there own chain and the kunai was buried halfway to the hilt in the tree trunk. They tried once again and found that they were no longer bound. They looked back and saw their chain cut into hundreds of pieces and laying on the ground, with the masked Genin they tried to attack earlier sheathing his odachi.

"So, what, exactly, are the Demon Brothers of Hidden Mist doing in Konoha territory?" Naruto asked casually.

"Like we'd ever tell you, brat!" one brother snarled.

"And both of you are going to pay for that little stunt you pulled." the other growled.

Naruto looked at them both. "You, with the gauntlet on your right arm, you must be the older brother, Gozu. And you, with the left gauntlet, are the younger brother, Meizu."

Both brothers raised opposite eyebrows. "Oh, so you know of us?"

"I get an updated copy of the Bingo Book every week." Naruto shrugged.

Both brothers grinned. "Well, glad to see at least one of the kiddies isn't just playing ninja."

Naruto snorted. "You two, along with three others, defected from Kirigakure five years ago after another failed assassination attempt on the Yondaime Mizukage. So I assume you five and your leader, Momochi Zabuza, are in Wave country."

Everyone present stared at Naruto, jaws on the floor.

"How do you know so much, kid?" Gozu asked.

Naruto shrugged. "I've memorized every name in the Bingo Book as well as the offenses that got them there. I even have copies delivered from other countries and villages. Zabuza and his seven subordinates are at the top of the list in the Kiri Bingo Book, even though there are Mist nuke-nin much stronger than all of you."

Both Demon Brothers looked at each other, then clapped.

"Bravo, kid, bravo. How would you like to join us? Zabuza-sama could use someone like you." Meizu said.

"No thanks, I don't like the idea of having Hunter-nin on my ass all the time. Besides, I'm at least on par with your leader, which means I'm stronger than all of you."

The Demon Brothers growled. "Are you calling us weak?"

"...Pretty much, yeah." Naruto said, this made his team sweatdrop.

The brothers growled, then looked at each other and nodded slightly. Gozu charged at Naruto and Meizu ran at Sakura and Sasuke, or so they thought.

Naruto saw their plan. "Shit...Uchiha, he's going for Tazuna!" Naruto shouted as he dodged a claw swipe from Gozu with ease. "...You're really slow, you know that?" Naruto taunted.

Sasuke heard Naruto and saw the nuke-nin charging at him.

"Sakura, protect the old man, I've got this loser." he smirked confidently as he took out a kunai.

Meizu scoffed. "You got in a lucky shot with that last kunai, but it won't happen again. As we said before, only one of you isn't just some kid playing ninja, and he's about to die!" he disappeared.

Sasuke's eyes widened. "What? Where the hell did he go?" he looked around, but saw no one.

The nuke-nin appeared behind him and chuckled evilly. "I can't believe that you are a member of the legendary Uchiha clan. You must be the one that Itachi left alive, the weakest of them all." he smirked when he saw Sasuke shake in rage. "Pathetic little runt!" Meizu raised his claw and prepared to deliver a killing blow to the young ninja.

But before he could he was knocked out by a black and silver blur.

"Yo." Kakashi said, holding an unconscious Meizu under his arm.

"Hatake-sensei, why did you not kill him? I have all the information we need." Naruto said.

Kakashi turned around and his eye widened. Naruto had completely decimated Gozu, and he was now nothing but a pile of red jelly, but Naruto had kept his head intact.

"Was all that really necessary?" Kakashi sweatdropped.

Naruto shrugged. "He was a nuke-nin with a bounty on his head, I'm taking his head back to collect that bounty. Don't worry, his brother will join him soon." Naruto smirked behind his mask.

After Kakashi had tied Meizu to a tree and removed his gasmask, he used smelling salts to wake him up.

"Ugh...What happened?" the nuke-nin said groggily.

"You were defeated, and your brother is dead." Naruto said.

Meizu's eyes snapped open. "WHAT?" then he saw the masked kid carrying his brothers severed head. "Oh, Kami...Big Bro..." he choked.

Naruto snorted. "Don't worry, you'll be joining him soon." Naruto unsheathed his sword.

Meizu's eyes closed, he accepted his death at the hands of a more skilled opponent.

"Who are you?" he asked.

"...My name is Uzumaki Naruto. Remember it when you get to hell." with that Naruto swung his blade at the exMist-nin's neck and sent him to join his brother.

Naruto picked up Meizu's head and placed it in a bag along with Gozu's. Then he dropped the sack onto his shadow, where it disappeared.

Everyone's eyes widened. "What did you do?" Kakashi asked.

Naruto shrugged. "I put their heads in storage." he said, then turned and walked away.

Sasuke and Sakura were frozen in shock, they had just seen their teammate kill two Chūnin level ninja without an ounce of remorse or pity.

Naruto noticed their looks of shock and growled. "Dammit, you two." he snarled as he walked up to them. "Wipe those looks off your faces! This is what a ninja is, we are trained to kill! What, did you think being a shinobi would be all fun and games? That you would never have to get your hands dirty? That you'd never have to do any wet work? You two are more pathetic than I thought. Did you ever stop to wonder why the targets at the academy were shaped like humans? Or why the areas where vital organs would be were circled and pointed out? And if it still hasn't gotten through your thick skulls, every famous ninja in history has gotten their titles by killing more people than others. Even the Yondaime got his nickname by killing hundreds of Iwa-nin in the last great war.

Do you think Hatake got his title of Copy-cat Ninja by just copying enemy techniques? No, he got it by copying them and turning the techniques against his enemies, and killing them. That's how legends are made, the survivors of the attacks tell others of the carnage they witnessed, and that ninja's fame spreads." He took two small blue books out of his cloak. "These are copies of the most recent Bingo Book. Read it all the way through, read about what some of the shinobi have done to get themselves into this book. Then you will understand what a ninja really is. And if you don't, then you might as well quit while you still have a head." with his speech over, Naruto brushed by both shocked Genin.

Kakashi held a look of sadness in his eye as he watched Naruto walk away. But he knew what he said was completely true.

'They should really start teaching that in the academy, then the Genin mortality rate wouldn't be so damn high.'

After about five minutes of walking, the group stopped again.

Naruto turned to Tazuna. "Alright, Tazuna-san, the Demon Brothers were after you for a reason. What is that reason?" Naruto asked, but from him it was more of a demand.

Tazuna gulped, the sighed heavily. "You are correct, they are after me. As you may know, Wave is a super poor country, but it wasn't always like that. Wave was once a prosperous place, full of happy people. But then Gato came with his army of mercenaries. We have no ninja village, so we had no way to defend ourselves from them and they took over. I knew Gato had sent some of his mercs after me, but I didn't know they were ninja, honest!"

Kakashi sighed. "You do realize that this in now an A-class mission, if what Naruto said is true."

"Yes, I know, but I couldn't pay for an A-class, or even a B-class mission. I beg of you, please continue the mission. After I finish the bridge, Wave will be able to trade again and everything will be back to normal. I can pay you properly for an A-class mission, even give you all a bonus! But please, if not for me, than for the people of my country." Tazuna was on his knees now.

Kakashi sighed. "It's not my decision alone." he looked back at Sakura and Sasuke. "It's a team decision."

Naruto scoffed. "Come on, Hatake-sensei, if the kiddies want to go, then let them. But I'm staying, whether you like it or not."

Kakashi narrowed his eye at Naruto. "And why do you care so much?"

"I don't really care at all. But there is something hidden in Wave Country...It's calling to me and I can't just ignore it. I can hear it, it's like a faint whisper in the back of my head. It's subtle enough for me not to pay much attention to it, yet loud enough for me not to forget about it. I must know what it is. So take Uchiha and Haruno and go if you wish, but I will stay." Naruto started to chuckle darkly. "Besides, I want to test my power against an opponent that won't hold back at all. I must know my limits so I can overcome them."

Kakashi shook his head and sighed. 'Just like Itachi.' he thought, then turned the his other two students. "So, what will you do? Will you stay, or do you want to turn back?"

Sasuke growled at Naruto. 'If that creepy freak can do it, than surely I can!' "I say we continue."

Sakura looked at Sasuke, then at Naruto, who stared right back. 'I-I can't run away from this. I'll show you, Naruto! I'll show everyone that I'm not useless or pathetic!' Sakura turned to her sensei with newfound determination. "I'm with them, we'll continue the mission."

Kakashi nodded and smiled behind his mask. 'Naruto, your methods may be questionable, but they get the job done. And in the ninja world, that's all that matters.' he turned to Tazuna. "Looks like today's your lucky day! We'll stay and continue with the mission." he eye smiled.

"You will? Thank you! Thank you all! You have no idea what this means to me, and to the entire country!" Tazuna shook Kakashi's hand.

As they started traveling again, Naruto walked up beside Sakura. "Well, Haruno-san, you've taken the first step and have overcome your doubts. But can you overcome your fears? Can you come face-to-face with death and walk away alive? Can you become a true shinobi? Personally, I think not. But I do hope that you can prove me wrong."

Sakura jumped slightly when she first heard Naruto's voice beside her, but not nearly as much as she used to. She was slowly but surely getting used to her dark teammate's habits.

She looked at Naruto, the same determination burning in her eyes. "I will prove you wrong, I will become a true ninja. Then one day, I'm going to take off your mask and rub your face in it!" she said.

Naruto snorted. "You will never be able take off my mask, but you are on the right path. When we return to Konoha, go to the hospital and ask for a doctor by the name of Itora Mirano. Tell him that Naruto sent you, and that you wish to train to be a medic."

Sakura stared at Naruto, but nodded nonetheless. "Why are you helping me? It's not like you."

Naruto shrugged. "I'm not just helping you, I'm helping everyone. Konoha needs as many medics as it can get. Besides, it's a little extra incentive for you to come back alive, no?" Naruto walked ahead to Kakashi.

"What's up, Naruto?" Kakashi said, not bothering to look up from his porn. Though it unnerved him terribly that Naruto was just two feet away and he could only barely feel his presence. It was like the boy was a ghost or something.

"It seems I was right, Hatake-sensei." Naruto said.

"Right about what?"

"We have an B-class nuke-nin after us."

Kakashi chuckled. "You did say that last night, didn't you? Don't tell me I can add predicting the future to my list of your abilities."

Naruto snorted. "I can't predict the future anymore than you can, I just think of the worst case scenario first, then work backwards."

Kakashi rose an eyebrow. "What would be the worst case scenario for this situation?"

"We could have an S-class nuke-nin after us. Someone that neither me nor you could defeat. I suppose we should just be glad it's someone that's at your level. I believe Zabuza can give me the battle I've been craving for so long. I can't test my full power against anyone in Konoha, or I'd destroy too many things, but a nuke-nin is fair game."

Kakashi glanced at Naruto. "You're getting overconfident."

"How can I be overconfident in my abilities when I don't even know the limits of those abilities? I have too many limitations in Konoha, too many rules and laws."

"You do realize that when we fought, if I had've had the Sharingan out, I would have won?"

"Are you sure about that? As I just told you, I wasn't going all out either. Technically, I wasn't even fighting you for the most part; my clones were. I didn't want to get _too_ flashy with you. Afterall, it's not like I could kill you to keep my secret techniques secret. That's why I've been thinking about becoming a Hunter-nin. I can actively seek out and fight stronger opponents without restrictions, and still maintain loyalty to Konoha."

Kakashi nodded in understanding. Naruto's plan was a solid one. It was the perfect way to act independently of the village, but still remain loyal and avoid being marked as a missing-nin.

Five minutes later the team arrived at the location where they were supposed to catch a boat across the river. They found an man that looked to be around Tazuna's age waiting for them in a medium sized rowboat.

"We're going on a rowboat?" Sakura asked incredulously.

"Gato has eyes and ears everywhere in this country. We don't want to attract the attention of his luckiest with something as loud as a motorboat." Tazuna said.

"Oh." Sakura smiled sheepishly, feeling dumb for not thinking of that.

Naruto didn't care anything about what everyone was saying, he was more interested in what the whisper in his head was saying.

_"Come to me, young one. Follow my voice, find me, and embrace my power."_ the voice was now a raspy hiss.

The closer Naruto got to Wave country, the louder the voice got. It was getting on his nerves, it wouldn't shut up!

'Kyuu-chan, can you do something about that voice? It's really irritating.'

**"Sorry, Kit, no can do. I've tried everything to block it out, but it keeps coming. You know what it is, right? You've heard it before."**

'It's the Soul Edge, right?'

**"Yes. Remember I told you that you need a "key" to unlock its power? Well I believe that "key" is in Wave. But I think that it's calling out to the sword, not you directly. So if you drop the sword, the voice should stop." **Kyuubi said.

Naruto opened up a portal under his cloak and dropped the Black Soul into it. As soon as the sword left his hand, the whisper stopped.

Naruto sighed. 'Thanks, Kyuu-chan.'

After twenty minutes on the boat the team finally set foot on Wave Country soil. They thanked the man operating the boat and went on their way.

Fifteen minutes later they were still walking, but Naruto sensed something. Or rather someONE.

Sasuke had just thrown a shuriken at a rabbit, but Naruto didn't care about that. He focused and reached out with his senses.

'Hmm, it's a male, obviously a ninja. He's low, possibly mid ANBU level at best, a little weaker than Hatake. He smells like...water, and...high-grade carbon steel?' Naruto sighed when he heard a slight grunt and the sound of something slicing through the air. "You all might want to duck." Naruto said.

Everyone looked up, then Kakashi's eye widened. "EVERYONE DOWN, NOW!" he shouted, then tackled Tazuna to the ground.

Just as everyone hit the dirt a massive sword flew over their heads. Naruto didn't even move an inch. Kakashi was about to yell, but the sword suddenly curved upwards, missing Naruto's head by mere inches, and embedded itself in a tree.

A tall man with bandages wrapped around the lower half of his face appeared on the hilt of the zanbatō. His forehead protector was off to the side of his head, doing nothing to hide the fact that he lacked eyebrows. He wore forearm warmers similar to Sasuke's, likely hiding armor and/or weapons, with an urban camo pattern on them. He wore no shirt, just the "y" shaped harness for his weapon, but he did wear baggy grey pinstriped pants, urban camo leg warmers and black shinobi boots.

"Momochi Zabuza. B-class nuke-nin from Kirigakure. One of the legendary Seven Swordsmen of the Mist. It is an honor to meet a killer of your caliber." Naruto said, staring intently at the tall swordsman.

Zabuza chuckled evilly. "So, one of the brats knows me, eh? I see you have trained them well, Copy-cat Ninja, Hatake Kakashi."

Kakashi was about to say something, but Naruto cut him off with a scoff.

"He has taught us absolutely nothing. But he and the others are irrelevant right now, get down here and let's fight." Naruto pulled the Black Soul from the Shadow Realm.

Zabuza rose an eyebrow, which Naruto found slightly amusing. "Hm, nice sword, kid, but shouldn't you be back with your parents getting ready for nap time?"

Naruto growled. "If I ever met my parents, I'd kill them without a second thought. Now let's do this."

Kakashi felt that this had gone on long enough. "Naruto, sto-"

"SHUT UP! Take them and protect Tazuna-san. This asshole is mine, you interfere and you'll die with him." Naruto's eye were glowing red.

Kakashi gulped and stepped back with his two students to surround Tazuna.

"Listen, you little brat, I don't care who you think you are, but you have no hope of matching me!"

Naruto smirked. "You're right...I'm already stronger than you."

Zabuza clenched his fists. "Pretty big words for some no-name punk. But this is the major leagues, kid. You're outclassed."

"Pretty big words for the weakest of the Seven Swordsmen. Now come, Demon of the Bloody Mist! Fight the Demon Child of Konoha, and we shall see who deserves their title more!" with that Naruto took a deep breath and muttered: "Wind Release: Great Breakthrough." then shot a large ball of compressed air at Zabuza.

Said nuke-nin's eyes widened before he ripped his sword out of the tree and springboarded off of a limb. The ball of air hit and the tree pretty much exploded, and what was left of it fell. There was a noise that sounded like a loud gasp when the tree fell and a green blur shot off to the side. Unfortunately for this person, Naruto saw him/her and sent his cloak to attack.

The cloak formed into a large, snake-like monster with a mouth full of rotating teeth. About fifty eyes opened along its "head" and locked onto whatever was moving. Then it lunged at a tree and there was a scream.

Naruto chuckled. "Zabuza-san, when I told Kakashi not to interfere, that went for everyone. Now, who do you have hiding out there?" Naruto called his cloak back.

The cloak monster slithered out of the tree line, a body wrapped up in its "tail". Naruto saw that it was a young woman, around eighteen. He wore an emerald green battle kimono, and had short black hair with long bangs covering her eyes. On her kimono was a symbol, it was a red eye with a bloody teardrop falling from it.

Naruto rose an eyebrow. "An Orasu? My, my, Zabuza-san, you've been busy, haven't you? I wonder how many more people of rare bloodlines you have...collected. Kiri is infamous for destroying their native bloodlines."

Zabuza made some seals and said only three words from his place in the trees. "Hiding Mist Technique." with that the entire clearing was covered in thick mist.

Kakashi narrowed his eye and lifted his forehead protector to reveal the Sharingan he was famous for.

"Be on your best guard, he could be anywhere." he warned.

Zabuza's voice came from all directions. "How right you are, Kakashi. Eight vital points: the-!" Zabuza was cut off when Naruto launched a huge fireball at him. He didn't have time to avoid it, so he used his sword to block it, but he was still burned.

The heavy mist cleared enough for everyone to see their surroundings, but not too clearly.

Zabuza appeared in the clearing, pointing his zanbatō at Naruto. "Damn you, brat! How did you know where I was?"

Naruto shrugged and unsheathed the Black Soul. "Simple; I followed the smell of the carbon steel that makes up your sword. And I can hear your heartbeat, and the heartbeats of two more of your little friends...Ah, their heartbeats just quickened." he turned to the girl still trapped by his cloak, he could tell by her heartbeat that she was really awake. "If any of them intervene in this battle, I will crush the life from this girl."

Zabuza snorted. "So? There are more where she came from, she is not the last of her clan. So go ahead and kill her, she's weak anyway, being caught by that...thing." he motioned the salivating monster the cloak had turned into. "But I still want to put you in your place myself. I can see how the Demon Brothers were defeated, you are good."

Naruto went into the Dragon Destroyer stance. "Thanks." then both shinobi charged at each other, blurring out of existence before they collided.

The clearing was then filled with the sounds of metal clashing. Brief flashes of metal and flying sparks indicated where both combatants met. Only Kakashi could follow the two warriors as they traded slashes.

'This is insanity! Even I would be hard pressed to match either of them in speed! Oh man, if Gai was here right now...' Kakashi shuddered at the thought.

He was so engrossed in the battle, he failed to notice a ninja come up behind him.

"Kakashi Hatake. Oh, how I've waited for this day!" a deep rumbling voice called out from behind the group.

They all whipped around to confront this new enemy. When Kakashi saw the man, his eyes widened in shock, the narrowed in unrefined fury.

"You." Kakashi hissed.

The man was tall, over six and a half feet, extremely muscular and bald with many scars running across his scalp. He wore a black half mask that covered the entire left side of his face. The other side revealed a man in his mid thirties with a large scar going from his right temple and curving over his eye and ending at his jaw. He had an Iwagakure forehead protector with a large gash going through the middle, signifying that he was a nuke-nin of the village. He wore a brown vest with two belts criss-crossing over his chest like an "X". He had on plain brown and white baggy pants, training tape around his shins, and black ninja sandals. The man's one dull blue eye stared back at Kakashi, contempt and rage burning within it.

"Yes, Copy-nin, me. I've come to pay you back for killing my brother!" the man announced, showing that he had something of a flare for the dramatic.

(Flashback)

Obito had just died and Rin had implanted his remaining Sharingan eye into Kakashi.

The two living teammates heard laughter and looked up to a hill, the same hill that the boulder that crushed Obito had come from.

"HA! I see I got at least one of the brats! Holy shit, it's the Uchiha! Hey Makito! You owe me five thousand ryō, I hit the Uchiha!" a large bald man yell from on top of the cliff.

"What? Fuck you, let me see!" an equally large man with green hair came into view and looked down at the half crushed corpse of Obito. "Well I'll be damned." the man scratched his head.

Kakashi screamed in rage. "YOU BASTARDS! GET DOWN HERE AND FACE YOUR DEATHS!"

The men on the cliff looked down and laughed. "You think you can take both of us? We're Elite Jōnin of Iwagakure, brat! Go home to your mommy or something." the man known as "Makito" yelled back.

The other guy laughed. "Yeah, and get a haircut while you're at it!" they both cackled.

Kakashi growled. "I SAID GET DOWN HERE, YOU UGLY SONS OF BITCHES!" Kakashi started a long set of handseals for his newest experimental technique.

When the two men heard that they glared at the silver haired teen. "What was that?" the bald one snarled.

The one with green hair grinned. "You know what, bro? I think I'll give this little punk a haircut myself!" he said as he pulled a massive battle axe from its resting place on his back.

He and his apparent brother jumped off of the cliff and landed a few meters from Kakashi and Rin.

Rin was in tears because of Obito's death. "Please, Kakashi-kun, don't do this! I've already lost Obito, I can't lose you as well!"

Kakashi turned to look at his female teammate as he finished the last seal. "You won't. With the power that Obito has given me, I WILL AVENGE HIS DEATH!" Kakashi held his right hand down and focused his remaining chakra into his hand. It began crackling with electricity and the deafening sound of a thousand birds chirping all at once filled the air.

It suddenly began to rain, and lightning lit up the night sky. But all eyes were on Kakashi's lightning at the moment.

"What the hell?" the man with green hair and the axe stepped back.

Kakashi looked up into the man's eyes, his fully formed Sharingan eye spinning madly. He dashed forward at incredible speeds, and the green haired man didn't have time to get away.

Kakashi ran at the man and rammed his crackling hand through his heart, killing him instantly.

He stared at the corpse with cold rage. "You are the first victim of my Chidori." Kakashi turned his attention to the remaining brother. "AND YOU ARE THE NEXT!" he ripped his arm out of the dead man's chest and charged again.

The bald Iwa Jōnin was petrified with fear, he couldn't even move because of the killing intent rolling off Kakashi in waves. He tried to back away, but tripped on a rock and fell on his back.

As Kakashi neared, murder evident in his eyes, a lightning bolt shot from the sky. Kakashi saw it for a split second and knew that he couldn't slow down in time and it would hit him. So he did the only thing he could; he thrust out his lightning-covered hand and hit the bolt with it. To everyone's amazement, and horror, the lightning bolt was split in half. One half struck the ground behind Kakashi, but the other half flew millimeters from the bald man's left eye. But it was so hot that it basically melted the entire side of his face, and he screamed in agony.

Kakashi, dazed and blinded by the lightning and what he had just accomplished, momentarily forgot about the Iwa-nin.

The bald man took advantage of this and grabbed his brother's battle axe and ran. When he got far enough away he looked back to see that no one was following him, then he made a vow. A vow of revenge for his brother.

"I swear on your blood and mine, I will kill that damned brat!" he heard a noise to his right and flung a kunai at it.

There was a wet piercing sound and a low thud of a body hitting the ground. The bald man inspected the body and saw that he had hit an already injured Konoha ANBU. But this ANBU was wearing a black mask.

"Oh, an ANBU? My luck is already taking a turn for the better." he grinned and brought his new axe down on the ANBU's body, splitting it completely in half with the massive axe blade.

He picked up the left half of the black ANBU mask and put it on the now singed skeletal side of his face.

(Back With Kakashi And Rin)

Kakashi was on his knees and panting heavily and crying. He tensed when he felt two arms encircle him, but relaxed when he realized they were Rin's.

"I...I failed again...didn't I?" Kakashi sobbed.

Rin held her friend tighter. "No, you didn't fail. We're both still alive, and that's what Obito wanted. He didn't give you his Sharingan to avenge his death, he gave it to you so we could get out alive. So that we could get back to Konoha in one piece."

Kakashi shook his head. "I could have done something. I could have pushed him out of the way, I could have warned him just a second sooner. If only I had been stronger...faster...ANYTHING!" he punched the now muddy ground.

Rin sighed. "Don't you get it at all? You tired to save Obito, but he ended up saving you. If he hadn't kicked you away at the last second, you would both be dead right now. And I have no doubt in my mind that I would be dead too."

Kakashi looked at his friend with bloodshot eyes. "Can you ever forgive me?"

Rin smiled at him. "There's nothing to forgive, but if it makes you feel better; I forgive you. But you need to forgive yourself and move on." Kakashi looked down and Rin growled. "LOOK AT ME! You know damn well if Obito was still alive he'd be telling you the same thing!"

Kakashi smiled at Rin, but she could tell it was a forced one. He still wasn't convinced, but there wasn't much else she could do for him.

"Your right, Rin-chan. Let's get moving." he tried to get to his feet, the instantly collapsed in a snoring heap.

Rin sighed. "Dammit Kakashi..."

(End Flashback)

"Damn you!" Kakashi roared.

"Kakashi-sensei, who is this guy?" Sasuke said, holding a kunai and ready to attack.

Kakashi looked at him. "Stay back! This is my fight, you two guard Tazuna and wait for Naruto."

The bald man laughed. "I see you've taken a Genin team. Oh, an Uchiha and another cutie." he licked his lips as he eyed Sakura.

Kakashi charged. "Don't you dare touch her!"

The bald nuke-nin just smirked and grabbed his huge battle axe. "You still need a haircut, Hatake!" and with that the second battle in the clearing had begun.

XXXX

YOSH! A Cliffhanger!

A bit about Kakashi's past, the origins of his Raikari, and the story of Obito's death. Oh, and some more OC's!

Before some of you go ranting on about Naruto being too powerful, there will be a twist in that final battle with Zabuza that will put them on an even playing field. Besides, Naruto trained under the Queen of Demons for six fucking years! And he's a half demon, no shit he would be extremely strong!

So I don't want to hear shit about that.

And it shouldn't be a big secret that I hate Sasuke. He doesn't have what it takes to be a main villain, he barely passes for a main character period! Damned emo bastard.

There won't be another poll for a while after this one, it slows me down too much. I have to wait to see what you want and all that, so for now I'm going to do my own thing.

Read, Review, and Vote, people!

Jason Out!


	8. Kakashi's Revenge

Alrighty then! Chapter eight is here!

Votes are as follows:

Haku lives: 9

Haku dies: 0

Haku goes to Konoha: 6

Haku stays with Tazuna's family: 3

Zabuza heartless bastard: 3

Zabuza compassionate: 2

Zabuza lives: 7

Zabuza dies: 3

Zabuza goes to Konoha: 7

Oh my, the ONLY category with no votes is Haku dies, everyone must really like her. And it seems that Zabuza is quite popular as well.

And I may be extending the vote until chapter ten instead of nine. I had some great ideas lately and I decided to rearrange the chapter configuration I had laid out.

I know you've been waiting for Kakashi's fight, well, here it is!

Enjoy.

XXXX

Back to the fight between Naruto and Zabuza, the Demon of the Mist was losing badly. Naruto had the advantage in speed and maneuverability with his smaller weapon, and he was actually matching Zabuza's physical strength.

Zabuza went for a horizontal slash with his zanbatō, but it was blocked by Naruto, who used the base of the blade and the hand guard. The two shinobi were now locked in a test of strength.

Naruto smirked. "My Kenjutsu style was made to combat opponents like you. You rely too heavily on power in a head-on battle. You're simply too slow to beat me." he forced Zabuza back and jumped away.

Zabuza panted on the other side of the clearing. 'What the hell is this kid?!' he thought.

Not only was the kid faster than him, he appeared to have much more stamina, and held the weapon advantage. Zabuza knew that the kid was right, he was too slow to match him.

Zabuza was a master of the Silent Killing method. His style relied on the enemy not even knowing he was there. And for head-on battles, he used his strength to overwhelm opponents.

Naruto could almost feel Zabuza's inner turmoil, and he decided to taunt him a bit more.

"All you have are your sword skills and mastery of the Silent Killing method! Your Taijutsu probably blows, your Ninjutsu are most likely all Water-based, and your stamina is only slightly above average! How can you even hope to beat me?!" Naruto laughed.

In truth, Naruto was hoping that Zabuza was strong enough to harness his rage and turn it into power. He almost wanted to lose, just so he would know just how strong he was. It was driving him mad! To not even know one's own power was almost laughable!

'I have to know! It...It's driving me insane!' Naruto thought. He'd been busting his ass for six years straight, and still didn't know exactly how far he'd come. It was frustrating, to say the least.

Kyuubi just shook her head sadly. **'What's going to happen when he gets the power of the Soul Edge?' **she knew quite a bit about the Soul Edge, and the fact that it _loved_ a host that craved power and were at-home on the battlefield.

They were the easiest to manipulate. Once the host became totally intoxicated by the power the blade granted them, they'd let their guard down and the Soul Edge would take full advantage. But Naruto held an advantage over all of the blade's previous wielders/slaves: he was educated. He knew the origins of the Soul Edge and how it operated. Kyuubi could only hope that the knowledge she had given him would allow him to impose his will on the legendary sword.

Zabuza growled. "Kid, you may be good, but I'm much better." he smirked behind his bandages and jumped out onto the lake. "Let's see how you do in my element!"

Naruto snorted and walked out onto the water, this is where the real battle would take place.

(Kakashi vs Miroka)

The battle between Kakashi and the Iwagakure nuke-nin had been furious thus far. Both shinobi had a score to settle, both had revenge on their minds.

The nuke-nin swung his axe upwards vertically, trying to cut Kakashi in half. But the Jōnin proved to be too fast for such a large and relatively slow weapon.

But the scarred ninja showed incredible skill and speed while using a weapon that must have weighed hundreds of pounds, judging by the craters in left when he struck with it. The thing was solid steel all throughout, made to never bend or break, no matter how much force was put behind it.

Kakashi jumped back and flashed through a string of seals almost too fast to see.

"Fire Release: Great Fireball Technique!" Kakashi launched a torrent of flames at the nuke-nin.

Said ninja just smirked and began twirling his axe rapidly. The axe ended up spinning so fast it created a shield in front of the half-masked man. The fireball collided with the axe, but ultimately did nothing but burn the Iwa nuke-nin's fingers a bit.

He stopped twirling the axe and blew on his fingers while laughing. "You actually managed to hurt me a bit with that little candle lighter!"

Kakashi took out three shuriken and threw them at the man, who just caught them with ease. Kakashi's eyes widened, he barely saw the man move his arm!

The nuke-nin noticed Kakashi's shocked look and smirked. "Didn't expect me to be that fast, did ya'?" he then tossed the three shuriken back at their owner. "I believe these are yours."

Kakashi used a kunai to deflect the flying weapons. "You're going to have to do better than tha-!" the man smirked and disappeared, but Kakashi saw what he was doing and leapt away just before the axe blade split the ground where he had been standing.

The ex-Iwagakure ninja chuckled. "Aw, I just wanted to give you a little haircut! Now stand still, like a good little brat!" he swung his axe at Kakashi again, but he back flipped away.

"Just who are you?" Kakashi asked, more to himself than to his opponent.

"Oh, that's right, we never were properly introduced! My name is Hachimo Miroka, brother of Hachimo Mikito, the man you killed all those years ago. But you most likely know me as 'Guillotine Hachimo'." the man mock bowed.

Kakashi's eyes widened. "You're Guillotine Hachimo, the A-class Iwagakure nuke-nin?" the man nodded and grinned insanely. "You've made quite a name for yourself by cutting off all your opponents' heads. Tell me, what do you do with them all?"

Miroka shrugged. "I use them for target practice, I throw them at civilians for a laugh, or I just stomp on them until the brains spew out like chunky mustard." he grinned again. "But I think I'll keep yours and put it on my wall as a trophy!"

Kakashi narrowed his eyes at the man. "Well, now we have a problem..." he slipped into the Strong Fist Taijutsu stance. "I want to keep my head as well."

Miroka's grin widened. "Hm, that IS a problem. What do you suppose we do about it?" he slammed the blade of his axe into the ground and grinned like the maniac he was.

Kakashi tensed a bit. "Let's settle this like normal shinobi."

Miroka's grin was damn near splitting his face. "Aw, I guess that means playtime is over, eh?"

Then both men blurred out of sight and the sounds of flesh and bone hitting more flesh and bone filling the area.

(Naruto v. Zabuza)

Naruto and Zabuza were circling each other like wolves. Neither of them spoke, neither of them broke eye contact, neither of them made a sound. Then it was like time suddenly slowed down as Zabuza dashed forward at speeds Naruto wasn't expecting, but had no problem dealing with.

They once again locked sword, and Naruto instantly knew he was dealing with a clone. He quickly shoved the zanbatō away and slashed "Zabuza's" neck. Sure enough, he bled water and became part of the lake again. Naruto turned around and was met with a kick to the head that sent him skidding across the surface of the lake, but didn't knock him off his feet.

The real Zabuza smirked. "What was that about me being slow?"

Naruto cracked his neck and grinned. "Yes, much better." he charged forward.

Naruto couldn't be seen, but the massive "S" shaped cloud of water and foam that he left in his wake was pretty hard to miss. Naruto seemed to just materialize right in front of Zabuza, who saw him in time to block a kick with the flat of his sword, but the vibrations almost made him drop it.

"How strong is this kid?!" Zabuza thought out loud.

Naruto laughed. "That's why I'm fighting you in the first place; I don't know!" he lashed out with his sword and managed to nick Zabuza's side just under his rib cage.

Zabuza hissed in pain and jumped back, but not before attempting to slash Naruto, who just bent at the waist to avoid it. As soon as he landed he made five Water Clones and sent them after Tazuna and the two Genin guarding him.

Naruto threw a kunai at one clone, but let the other four get through so they could keep his teammates on their toes.

Naruto wagged a finger at Zabuza. "You can't afford to split up your power while fighting me!" then he charged.

Sasuke saw the clones coming first. "Sakura! Four Water Clones coming in fast, get ready!" he barked.

Sakura visibly paled, but raised her kunai nonetheless. "R-Right!"

The four clones descended upon the two Genin and the old man. First they surrounded them, then they all went for horizontal swings of their zanbatōs to cut through everyone at once.

Sasuke instantly reacted, he stabbed one in the head and it turned into a puddle. One of the other clones turned on him and attacked. He easily jumped over a low swing from the clone and cut its throat.

Sakura had gotten in a lucky strike on one clone, stabbing it where its heart would be by sheer dumb luck. But the last clone was made stronger and faster by its "brothers" being killed and their power being added it his and the real Zabuza's. Its blade was mere inches from Sakura and Tazuna, and Sasuke could do nothing but watch.

But before the sword cut anything but air, a black mass erupted from the ground and blocked it, then formed into a spear and drove itself through the clone's chest.

Everyone's eyes widened, then they turned to Naruto's cloak monster that was still holding the girl in the green battle kimono. A part of its "tail" was stuck into the ground, where it had apparently tunneled to their position in order to intercept the clone's attack.

Sakura sighed in relief and fell to her knees, Tazuna looked about ready to shit himself, and Sasuke just looked back at the battle between Naruto and Zabuza.

Sasuke scowled and gritted his teeth in anger and frustration. 'Why is he so powerful?! I should have that kind of power! I deserve it, I'm an Uchiha, dammit! I need that power to defeat _Him_...I will find out your secrets, Naruto. And I will take your power for my own and leave you with nothing! I am an Avenger!' he seethed. (1)

Naruto suddenly felt a strange urge to laugh hysterically, like someone had just told a really funny joke. But he just shrugged and crushed another Water Clone's head. These damned clones were getting annoying...they didn't bleed.

(Kakashi vs Miroka)

Kakashi was having a very hard time with Miroka. He was faster and had landed more hits, but his hits lacked the raw physical power needed to do any real damage to the huge man.

Miroka on the other hand was having a blast. It seemed he was quite a sadomasochist, and the pain from Kakashi's attacks just made him laugh. He may have been slower than Kakashi, but he had much more stamina, and once Kakashi slowed down it was over. All Miroka had to do was wait, and when it came to situations like this, he was a very patient man.

Kakashi was getting tired, and fast. The Sharingan was draining chakra from him at an alarming rate, and he kept pumping chakra into his legs to stay one step ahead of Miroka. He didn't want to chance using any high-class techniques, he was already low on chakra and they may not do much to Miroka. He decided to back off a bit, making it a mid-range battle instead of a close range one.

But this would prove to be a bad idea, because Miroka had much longer reach than Kakashi, and so far he had mainly been blocking and absorbing hits. Now that Kakashi had backed off, it was time to go on a true offensive.

Miroka smirked. "Done already? I guess it's my turn now." he flashed through a set of seals. "Earth Release: Earth Spike!" he slammed his hands into the ground.

Kakashi didn't even have time to look down before he had to avoid the massive spears of rock sprouting from the ground below him. He tried to outrun them, but no matter where he went another spike would shoot from the ground. He back flipped rapidly over the ground, spikes following him all the way.

Miroka scowled. 'Damned little pest, hopping around like some fucking cricket!' he decided he was pouring a little too much chakra into the, so far, ineffective attack, so he cut the flow and pulled his hands from the ground.

Kakashi breathed a sigh of relief when he saw the spikes stop, but his reprieve was short lived.

"So, Hatake, still the quick little rat from before, I see. But let's see you escape from a special technique I created just for you!" he flashed through a long set of seals.

'SHIT!' Kakashi cursed mentally.

He was too far away to stop the nuke-nin. He was too tired to cover the distance between them on his own. And if he used chakra to boost his speed, he'd have nothing left to use when he did get to his enemy. All he could do was conserve as much energy as possible, wait things out, and hope for the best.

Miroka smirked as he finished the last seal. "Earth Release: Rock Shrapnel Shuriken!" he once again slammed his hands into the ground.

Every spike of earth that Kakashi had avoided exploded suddenly, sending razor sharp shrapnel right at him, and only him! He had only one hope: blow them all away.

"Wind Release: Grand Gail!" he breathed out a huge blast of wind, blowing all the stone projectiles away, even destroying some that were the closest.

Miroka had been expecting something like this, and the Rock Shrapnel Shuriken was only a distraction for his real technique.

"Hachimo Clan Secret Technique: Gravity Fist!"

Kakashi fell to his knees, that last attack took a lot of what he had left out of him. He didn't even have the energy to shift his forehead protector to cover his Sharingan, so he settled for just closing his eye. Kakashi's technique had succeeded in its task, but it would end up doing more harm than help.

Kakashi's attack had kicked up a load of dust from the ground, obscuring his vision. He realized that Miroka had planned all this when he saw the man come barreling out of the dust cloud, fist raised with a faint blue glow.

Kakashi knew his error could prove to be a fatal one, but it was too late to stop the bulldozer that was Guillotine Hachimo. When he charged, Kakashi knew he was done for.

Something within Sasuke told him to turn around and look at the battle between Kakashi and the massive Iwa nuke-nin. His eyes widened when he saw Kakashi kneeling on the ground and the huge man charging him, ready to crush him with his fists. The Uchiha leapt into action, not for Kakashi, but for himself. He would prove that he was just as strong as Naruto, and if Kakashi died, who would teach him how to use the Sharingan?

Sasuke took out two kunai and two shuriken. He threw the shuriken and charged with the two kunai out.

Miroka was just about to punch Kakashi's jaw out the back of his head when two shuriken embedded themselves in his forearm. He stopped in his tracks and looked at his arm, then at the charging Uchiha, then at Kakashi. He grinned and pulled both shuriken out and threw them at Kakashi.

Kakashi rolled to the side to avoid the projectiles, but one still sliced his arm open and he winced. He looked back a Miroka and saw him rip his axe from the ground and charge Sasuke, who seemed not to care.

"SASUKE, DON'T!" but it was too late, Sasuke was too far gone to be stopped by words.

So Kakashi did the only thing he could think of to end the fight and save his student, and he rose to his feet. He ran through a few specific hand seals and faced his right hand to the ground, had used his left to brace his wrist. Blue electric chakra crackled in his palm as he poured everything he had into his final attack. If this failed it was all up to Naruto. With his Raikari fully charged, he pumped the last bit of chakra he had into his legs and ran to intercept Miroka.

The sound of thousands of birds chirping brought Sasuke out of his crazed rush. He now realized what he had done and he knew he was about to be killed. He watched as the huge nuke-nin lifted his axe, a murderous glint in his eye and an insane grin on his face.

Everything suddenly slowed down a bit, to the point where Sasuke could see everything clearly. He saw the man suddenly look to his side and his eye widen in fear.

Miroka heard the noise, and he knew all too well what it was. It was growing louder and louder at an alarming rate, and he could see a blue glint in the polished steel of his axe's blade. He turned to the side and was about to bring his axe down, but an unearthly roar, a tremendous explosion and a fountain of water from the lake distracted him.

This was exactly what Kakashi needed and he used the last of the chakra in his legs for one final burst of speed. He rocketed towards his target, who placed his axe in front of himself in a feeble attempt to block Kakashi's attack. The Copy Nin struck and time seemed to slow down for everyone. Kakashi's Raikari cleaved through the steel axe, blasting the blade straight into the air, and carried on into Miroka's chest, obliterating his heart and lungs. The huge man was dead in an instant.

Kakashi pulled his arm free and let the corpse drop, before his eyes rolled back into his head and his face met the dirt.

(Naruto vs Zabuza)

Naruto had utterly annihilated Zabuza's clones, and was now staring the man himself down.

Zabuza was panting and could barely keep himself afloat on the lake's surface. He decided on an all-or-nothing move, but he didn't have enough chakra for his most powerful attack, so he settled on the next best thing.

He flashed through some seals. "Water Release: Water Dragon Projectile!" the water in front of him shot into the air and formed into the shape of a dragon, then came down on Naruto.

Naruto just stared at the dragon and smirked. 'So, he had that much chakra left?' he gripped the Black Soul and waited for the attack to get close enough.

Zabuza smirked, the kid must have been paralyzed with fear, he wasn't moving an inch! His smirk died when he saw what happened next.

Naruto grinned and unsheathed his sword, lifted it over his head, then brought it down. "Dragon Splitter!" he called out as a massive wave of purple chakra cleaved through the Water dragon, making it harmless.

Zabuza didn't have time to move out of the way of the cutting wave, so he just cut off the flow of chakra to his feet and allowed himself to sink underwater. The wave passed over his head and destroyed a few trees before dispersing. Zabuza climbed onto shore and panted heavily, then he heard something that chilled him to the bone: hollow, soulless laughter.

Naruto chuckled as water rained down on him from the attacks, then his chuckling became full-blown laughter.

"Oh, you want to play with dragons, do you?!" he called to Zabuza. "I'll show you a dragon!" he ran through a string of handseals Zabuza didn't recognize. "Demon Skill: Blackfire Dragon!" Naruto breathed out pitch black flames that formed into a dragon above his head.

The dragon roared, and it sounded like a combination of a wounded animal, and a ghostly wail.(2) The roar completely overtook the sound of thousands of angry birds coming from the land. Naruto pointed at Zabuza and the dragon launched forward.

Zabuza could do nothing against something like this, and neither could his subordinates. He closed his eyes and accepted his fate.

But Naruto had other plans. He needed Zabuza's head, or at least his sword to prove that he killed him and to collect the bounty on his head. If the Blackfire Dragon impacted, it would destroy everything within the blast radius. So Naruto commanded the dragon to smash into the water about fifty feet from the shore. He hoped the water would weaken the blast enough for Zabuza's body to survive it.

Zabuza opened his eyes, not being able to help it, and saw the dragon suddenly take a nosedive and smash into the water, then explode. It caused a massive tidal wave to ripple out from the point of impact, like a meteor had just hit. A huge fountain of foam and water surged a hundred feet into the sky, causing it to rain all over the lake.

The sheer force of the wave caused by the blast knocked Zabuza back over fifty feet, the only thing that stopped him from going further was a thick three. The impact caused his vision to swim and somewhere in the back of his mind he knew he'd suffered a concussion. Darkness was slowly creeping in around the edges of his field of vision, indicating that he wouldn't be awake much longer. The last thing he could make out before it all went black was a white Hunter-nin mask with a red swirl painted on it.

Naruto had jumped over the tidal wave and waited for the fountain to die out. When it did, he saw a Kirigakure hunter-nin dressed in a blue battle kimono with an unconscious Zabuza slung over his...no, _her_ shoulder. He was about to attack, but she disappeared in a swirl of mist, leaving Zabuza's zanbatō behind. It was then picked up by another Kiri nuke-nin with a tattered brown cloak and cat claws, before he, too, disappeared in another swirl of mist.

Naruto growled and cursed, then turned and walked back to his team.

Sakura was still with Tazuna, staring at her sensei on the ground. Neither she or Tazuna had seen what happened. One second Kakashi was doing some amazing Lightning technique, then the next he had his whole arm stuck inside a big bald guy's chest!

Sasuke was just staring at his sensei's unconscious form, gritting his teeth in rage. He had almost gotten himself killed! He was currently trying to figure out some way that this situation wasn't his fault.

Both Genin caught a glint of metal above them and they looked up, but had to shield their eyes.

"What the hell is that?" they both said.

They tried to make it out, but the glare from the sun was too much and they had to look down again. Sasuke caught a glimpse of the Iwa nuke-nin's broken battle axe, then images came rushing back to his head. The nuke-nin coming at him, then looking to the side in fear. The Kakashi's Lightning technique cutting through the axe like a knife through butter. The blade of the axe flying up into the air...!

Sasuke instantly swung his head up to look at the falling blade, but he missed his mark and looked directly at the sun, blinding himself. He cried out in pain.

"Sasuke-kun!" Sakura rushed over to tend to her crush, then she noticed the falling axe blade about two feet from Kakashi's head.

Sasuke's cry of pain and Sakura's shout briefly brought Kakashi back to the land of the living. He looked back and saw the blade coming down on him, but he couldn't move at all. He closed his eyes, but death never came. He opened his eyes again and saw someone holding the huge blade mere centimeters from his face, and the silhouette of that person.

"You two really are pathetic." a cold emotionless voice said.

'Naruto...Thank Kami...' were the last thoughts Kakashi had before his world was cast into darkness again.

Naruto sighed when he saw Kakashi go limp. He turned a cold glare at his two teammates, then turned to Tazuna.

"Tazuna-san, how far are we from your home?"

"About two miles, give or take." the old man answered.

"Will you take us there? We need to get out of the open and our sensei needs to rest."

Tazuna nodded and jumped to his feet. "Of course! I'll lead you there right away!" he started walking in the direction of his house.

Naruto lifted Kakashi's body onto his shoulder with ease and started walking after Tazuna. He called his cloak monster over to him and gave the girl it was holding a chop to a pressure point in her neck to knock her out, then kept walking, the cloak-thing following its master.

"You two, stop dawdling and move your worthless asses!" Naruto called over his shoulder.

Sasuke growled, but complied, Sakura just looked at the ground and jogged to catch up.

After about five minutes Sakura broke the silence. "Why don't you let us carry Kakashi-sensei, you're probably tired from your fight." she offered.

Naruto snorted. "From what I saw, you could barely defend yourself from Water Clones. And both of you almost got Hatake-sensei killed twice. Because of the Uchiha's bullheadedness, and both of your slow reaction times and sheer stupidity. You both saw the blade falling, even though you didn't know what it was, you should have moved his body away."

"But we could barely see it! We couldn't look at it because of the sun!" Sakura tried to defend herself and Sasuke.

Naruto scoffed. "You saw that it was shiny, right?" Sakura nodded and Naruto shook his head. "Well, in the ninja world, ninety percent of the time, shiny things are dangerous in one way or another." Naruto spoke like he was talking to four year olds. "Now shut up and make yourselves useful, watch out for traps or something."

Sakura sighed dejectedly, and Sasuke just muttered under his breath.

Naruto was holding the Black Soul in his left hand, and the whisper was back and louder than ever. He dropped it into the Shadow Realm to get some peace and carried on. He'd have to track down the source of the voice later, but now Kakashi was top priority.

After twenty minutes, the group could see a relatively large two story house in the middle of a clearing on the edge of another lake.

"Here we are!" Tazuna said happily.

Sakura looked around the clearing and out onto the lake. "It's beautiful here." she said, then looked at Sasuke. "A great place for a picnic, don't you think so Sasuke-kun?"

Sasuke's eye twitched, but Sakura missed it. "Hn." he grunted and Sakura sighed.

Tazuna led them all inside his home and yelled out. "I'm home!"

"Dad? Welcome back! Did everything go well?" answered a feminine voice from where Naruto assumed to be the kitchen.

A woman in her mid to late twenties walked in. She had long black hair and was dressed in a pale lavender kimono and an apron.

Tazuna smiled warmly. "Yes, all is well now. These are the super ninja that I hired! I told them everything, and they are still willing to complete the mission!"

The woman, apparently Tazuna's daughter, smiled at Naruto and his teammates and bowed. "I thank you from the bottom of my heart. Without you, I don't know what we would have done."

Naruto nodded. "Not at all, I should be thanking you."

The woman rose a delicate eyebrow. "Why's that?"

"If Tazuna-san hadn't have come when he did, there's no telling how long it would have been before I got a mission to Wave country. There is something here, it's calling out to me, and I have to find it. Besides, the little voice in my head is getting annoying, and could affect my performance in battle." Naruto's teammates inched away when he mentioned the voice in his head.

The woman just smiled. "Well, I wish you luck in your quest." she then noticed the body on Naruto's shoulder. "Oh my! Is he alright?"

Naruto just looked at Kakashi's sleeping face. "If he doesn't quit pretending to be asleep, he won't be for much longer."

Kakashi winced and opened his eye. "Yo." he said weakly. "I would wave, but I can't move right now." everyone sweatdropped.

"Whatever. Do you have any extra bedrooms we could use?" Naruto asked.

The woman smiled again. "Of course, I'll show you to the guest bedrooms." she walked up the stairs, Naruto and his team following.

She led them down a hallway with six doors, three on both sides. "The first three doors are mine, Dad's, and my son, Inari's, rooms. The doors after that are the two guest rooms and the last one is the bathroom." she turned to the ninja and smiled sweetly. "I'm sorry, I never introduced myself. I am Tsunami, who might you be?"

Naruto answered for the group. "I am Uzumaki Naruto, the girl is Haruno Sakura, and the emo is Uchiha Sasuke." Sasuke bristled at the emo remark, but said nothing.

Sakura waved and smiled. "Hi!" she finally had another female to talk to!

Tsunami smiled and bowed. "It's very nice to meet y-..." she looked behind the group and paled at what she saw.

Everyone rose an eyebrow and turned around. Sakura paled as much as Tsunami when she saw the cloak monster had followed them up the stairs and its huge mouth full of big, sharp teeth was just inches from her face. Ten of its eyes stared into hers and she fainted.

Sasuke just backed up a ways and tried to hide his fear of the thing. Even though it saved his teammate, he refused to trust anything that freakish.

Naruto just turned back to Tsunami. "Don't mind that, it's just my cloak. It's...sort of alive." he said.

Tsunami just nodded, chalking it up to "Weird Ninja Stuff". She walked passed them, increasing her pace dramatically when she got near the monster.

Naruto almost laughed, then Kakashi spoke up. "Why...is that thing still here?" he asked, slurring his words and making himself sound drunk.

"It's carrying our...well, MY prisoner." Naruto jerked his thumb at the unconscious girl it was holding.

Kakashi narrowed his eye. "And what, pray tell, are you going to do..._with_ your 'prisoner'?" Naruto knew full well that when Kakashi said "with" he meant "to".

He growled and his eyes flashed red. "If you are implying what I think you are, you will draw your last breath in this hallway. I can deal with all the other insults, but offending me in such a way is something not even the Hokage dares to do."

Sasuke grabbed Sakura and backed up towards the stairs. They may not have known much about their teammate, nothing really, but they knew that he didn't get mad often. And they knew, by pure survival instinct, that when Naruto did get mad, it was a good idea to get as far away as possible, and pray that you're outside of the blast radius.

Kakashi's eye showed genuine fear of his "student". He realized that he was a fool to even suggest Naruto raping the girl, but he had to be sure if even a bit of Naruto's moral fiber was intact. But he had no idea that he would get such a volatile reaction from the ever stoic boy.

When Kakashi had made his implication Naruto had to stop his hand from snapping the man's neck. Naruto absolutely detested rapists, and killed every single one he found, or even heard of, in Konoha. Normally Naruto wouldn't let insults faze him at all, but to be called something as low as a rapist? That was crossing the point of no return(More like the point where YOU never return). And let it be documented that villagers and shinobi alike who even uttered the words "rape" and "Naruto" in the same sentence, in the boy's presence, "mysteriously" disappeared shortly thereafter.

The eye slits in Naruto's mask were actually giving off their own aura of fine, luminescent red mist. Kakashi could barely see Naruto's hand inching towards his neck.

"Now, what were you accusing me of?" Naruto hissed.

Kakashi started to sweat and he gulped. "N-Nothing. I was out of line with that comment, sorry."

Naruto knew that Kakashi was only apologizing because he was in no position to defend himself, but he shrugged it off.

"No, you're not truly sorry. But, if you make such a comment in my presence again, you will be." Naruto walked over to one of the guest rooms and tossed Kakashi onto one of the two beds.

"Ow." Kakashi mumbled.

Sasuke, sensing that no one was in any immediate danger from Naruto's wrath, followed his teammate into the room.

"...There's only two beds..." he pointed out.

Naruto turned to him. "Yeah, and?"

"And there are three of us."

"No, there are two of you. Haruno-san gets one room, you and Hatake get this one."

Sasuke narrowed his eyes. "What about you?"

Naruto shrugged. "I have things to do." Naruto walked out of the room.

It was around this time that Sakura woke up. She heard about the rooming arrangements and saw an opportunity.

"Hey, Sasuke-kun, we could share a room...if you want to." she looked down and blushed.

When she heard no reply she looked back up just in time to see the door to the guys' room slam shut, immediately followed by the sound of it locking.

"DAMMIT!" a little of Inner Sakura leaked through.

Her loudness awoke the sleeping Orasu and she moaned in slight pain.

Naruto walked up to her. "Ah, you're awake. Come, we're going to have a little chat." Naruto walked downstairs, accompanied by his trusty cloak-shark.

(At Zabuza's Hideout)

Zabuza was dead tired, bleeding in several places, sore all over, suffering from chakra exhaustion, and his concussion resulted in a headache that no hangover could compete with. But that didn't keep him from using language that would make a sailor blush.

"That fucking BRAT! How the fuck could I have been beaten so fucking easily by a goddamn, motherfucking kid?!" this continued for another five minutes before the man finally passed out. "FUCK!" or not...

The "Hunter-nin" that had saved Zabuza sighed heavily. "He's really pissed." a feminine voice said from behind the mask.

"You said it, Haku-chan." the ninja in the brown cloak said as he dropped Zabuza's zanbatō.

He wore a dark brown mask that covered the entire lower half of his face. He had dark green eyes, and an "X" shaped scar over his right one. His messy brown hair covered his head and his bangs hung over his face, but parted perfectly so he could see. Under his cloak he wore an outfit similar to Miroka's, but without the belts, and he wore a long-sleeved shirt under his vest. His cat claw weapons were kept inside of metal vambraces on his forearms, and were deployed and retracted with small pistons activated by chakra. He was also the shortest member of the group, standing only four feet, eleven inches tall.

"Hey, be careful with that, Kitoro! You know how Zabuza-sama is with his sword!" Haku hissed.

The boy, Kitoro, shrugged. "Whatever. What he don't know won't hurt me."

Haku took off her mask and glared at him. "Just be careful with the sword, half-pint." she smirked when the boy stiffened and growled.

"Oh, short jokes? Yeah, that's nice. Real mature. _Bitch..._" Kitoro said the last part under his breath, but Haku still caught it and sent two senbon into his ass cheeks.

"AHHHHHHHHHHH!" Kitoro shrieked and jumped out the window.

Haku giggled and so did someone else. "And he's the stealth specialist of our group." a girl in a purple battle kimono walked into the room.

She was in her early twenties and had long black hair that fell to the small of her back. Her generous bust bounce with every step she took, and made Haku quite jealous at times. Her beautiful hazel eyes captivated everyone that looked into them. She had a voice that could make angels pout with envy, and her laugh was highly contagious.

Haku tensed and hid her face behind her hair. "H-hello Chigusa-san." she stuttered.

The girl, Chigusa, narrowed her eyes at Haku. "Hold on, you usually call me 'Chi-chan'. The last time you called me 'Chigusa-san' was after you got drunk at that party and tried to make out with me. What have you done now?"

Haku said nothing and kept her head down. 'Sometimes I wonder if I'm a lesbian.' she thought.

Chigusa looked around and saw something was missing, or rather someONE was missing.

"Where's Kiriko-nee-chan?" she said calmly. Too calmly.

Haku just continued to stare at the ground, not saying a word.

Chigusa was starting to get annoyed. "Where. Is. My. Little. Sister?" she said, taking a step towards Haku with every word until she was right next to her.

"Zabuza-sama said she was useless and weak. He basically told us to leave her there." Kitoro came back in through the window, rubbing his ass and wincing.

Chigusa's head whipped around the face the short man, and before he could even blink she was holding in him two feet off the floor with one arm.

"Tell me exactly what happened." she commanded.

"Well, after the Demon Brothers. were killed, Zabuza-sama decided to fight the ninjas guarding the old man himself. He had me, Haku, Kiriko and Miroka as backup. Well, the ninja guarding the old man were a Jōnin and his Genin team. An Uchiha, some pink-haired wimp of a girl, and this psycho kid wearing a weird Hunter-nin mask. We were supposed to take out the old guy while everyone was distracted, but Miroka saw the Copy-cat ninja, Kakashi, and went berserk. Then Zabuza-sama was attacked by the masked kid, and Kakashi and Miroka started fighting. Kiriko-chan was hiding by the tree Zabuza-sama was in when the kid attacked him and made it fall.

Kiriko jumped out of the way but the masked kid saw her and sent this freaky snake-thing after her. It caught her and he threatened to crush her if anyone of us interfered in their fight. Zabuza-sama said to go ahead and kill her, since she was useless because she got caught. The kid never did it and just attacked him again.

Miroka was always crazy, but he was taking it to a whole new level! It was like he didn't feel pain at all. But he ended up getting himself killed and Zabuza-sama got his ass handed to him by that kid. If Haku hadn't saved him, he wouldn't have a head right now." 'But something tells me he may not have a head for much longer anyway.' Kitoro finished. That was an odd habit he had, calling people that were just a couple years younger than him "kids". This was usually less a jab about their age, and more about what he perceived as immaturity on their part.

Chigusa growled and unceremoniously dropped the short boy on his already sore ass. Then walked to her room to grab her sais and throwing knives.

"Where are you going?" Haku asked.

Chigusa turned to her and looked at Zabuza while releasing killing intent.

"I only joined his group because my sister and I were exiled from our clan in Hidden Mist. I joined because I didn't want my sister to be killed along with all those that have bloodlines. But now we have Hunter-nin on our asses all the time, and for what? Zabuza just abandoned my sister! I'm going out to find her and get her back, then we're both leaving."

Kitoro jumped to his feet and ran in front of Chigusa. "Wait! You can't defeat that masked freak! He'll kill you for sure, just look at what he did to Zabuza-sama, and it looked like he wasn't even really trying!"

Chigusa scoffed. "I don't care, I'm going to get my sister back. But if she's dead, I'm going to come back here and slaughter you all." she growled. "Now, get out of my way, unless you want to be another head shorter than me." she reached for one of her sai.

Kitoro gulped and quickly got out of the way. As Chigusa walked out, Haku called after her.

"Chigusa!"

Said woman turned her head. "What?"

"I just wanted to wish you luck...and say that I'm sorry. I should have stepped in when she was attacked...but I was too slow." she sobbed. "Please, forgive me."

Chigusa smiled and patted Haku on the head. "Don't worry about it. I'm sure Kiriko is fine, she's a lot stronger than most give her credit for." she looked off to the side. "You might want to get back to Zabuza-teme, the little old guy is here."

Haku looked back, and sure enough Gato was walking up to the entrance of the hideout with his two samurai wannabe henchmen. Haku turned back to Chigusa, only to find her gone.

"Damn...she's as fast as Kitoro." she blinked, then when back inside.

Gato was already there and was in the process of arguing with Kitoro.

"Weren't there more of you last time?" Gato asked.

Kitoro sighed. "Yeah, but Miroka and the Demon Brothers got themselves killed. One of the Orasu sisters was captured, and the other just left to find her and take her back. Zabuza-sama's out of commission for the time being, and Haku is right behind you."

Gato turned and saw Haku looking at him warily. "Hello, Gato-san." she said politely.

Gato smirked. "Well, well, well, I had no idea you'd be such a looker behind that mask of yours." he reached out to try and grope her, but she grabbed his arm and snapped it like a dry stick. "ARGH!" Gato screamed, clutching his broken arm.

"Don't touch me, you pig."

His two guards flicked the hand guards of their katanas and prepared to kill the girl. But they were soon stopped by Kitoro holding his cat claws to their spines.

"Tsk, tsk, tsk, only the most skilled samurai could ever defeat ninjas of our caliber. So what chance do two wannabes like you stand? Just leave while we allow you to."

Gato got to his feet, clutching his broken arm, and growled. "I came here to talk to the leader of this group, not his little lapdogs."

Kitoro bristled at that comment. He knew it was basically true, but he hated it when people pointed it out and rubbed it in his face like that.

"Zabuza-sama isn't well right now. Come back in a few days." Haku was rapidly losing her patience with the short, chubby man.

"Can it, bitch! Wake that asshole up right now!" Gato demanded, but quickly found three senbon at his neck. "What are you doing?"

Kitoro had knocked out both guards and was holding his claws to the back of Gato's head. "What do you think? I'm defending my comrade."

"Don't forget who your employer is." Gato hissed.

Kitoro chuckled. "You may hold our paychecks on your hands, but we hold your life in ours."

Haku pressed her senbon further into Gato's neck, drawing blood. "You'd do well to remember that, swine." she released him and pointed at the entrance. "Now get out."

Gato ran out of the hideout while screaming, "I won't forget this! You hear me, you little bitch?! I won't forget this!"

The only response he got was his two bodyguards flying out of the window and landing in front of him.

"Damn, I missed." Kitoro snapped his fingers and Haku giggled.

XXXX

Done.

I properly introduced Miroka "Guillotine" Hachimo...then killed him off. Chigusa, Kitoro, and Kiriko have been introduced as well...really only Kiriko's name.

I know that the whole axe blade in the air thing seems unrealistic, but it's happened to me before. Anyone that has had to cut a metal bar with a circular saw might know what I'm talking about. When the part that you're cutting off suddenly flies off like it was shot out of a cannon and ricochets all over the place.

(1) I had to add that corny-ass line!

(2) Think about the noise the Graboids make when they "give birth" to the Shriekers in Tremors 2.

Anyway, since you all liked the prank in chapter six, I think I'll put another one in. I'm thinking: Naruto hears what Miroka said about giving Kakashi a haircut, and thinks it's a good idea.

Preview of Prank:

The door to Kakashi and Sasuke's room opens up slowly, revealing the silhouette of everyone's favorite masked Super Genin. Naruto walks into the room, not making a single sound, like a ghost. He walks up to a sleeping Kakashi and stands by the side of his bed.

"So, those sleeping pills worked." Naruto grinned evilly behind his mask and held up a kunai. "You know something, _sensei_, Hachimo raised a good point: you do need a haircut." the kunai gleams in the moonlight coming in from the window.

Everyone in the house shivered in their sleep as their dreams were invaded my sinister chuckling.

Preview End.

What do you think?

Read, Review, and Vote while you can!

Jason Out!


	9. The Azure Knight

Chapter Nine!

Votes are as follows:

Haku lives: 15

Haku dies: 0

Haku goes to Konoha: 12

Haku stays with Tazuna's family: 3

Zabuza heartless bastard: 5

Zabuza compassionate: 4

Zabuza lives: 11

Zabuza dies: 5

Zabuza goes to Konoha: 10

Still no one wants Haku to die. And I don't really get the point of Zabuza being a heartless bastard, yet still living and going to Konoha, but I'm sure I can make space for him.

Now, here's some pairing info:

Tsunade will not be in the harem, she will take on the role of big sister for Naruto. She will constantly piss him off, making him a bit more normal, but also more mean and sadistic, so expect a lot of one-liners and even more sarcasm from him when I get to that part.

I may just let Asuma or an OC have Kurenai, but currently she's undecided.

Yugao is out, because Gekko Hayate will live in this fic. Though his main purpose will be sword battles with Naruto and/or Zabuza.

I know next to nothing about Hana(Kiba's sister), so she may as well be an OC. So she's also undecided.

Temari is a definite consideration. The problem is there are other girls I want to put in, but I don't want Naruto to have too many girls, so I'll have to do something like a pro/con list for them.

Tenten goes in the same category as Temari.

Tayuya and Karin(Sasuke fangirl from Team Hebi) are in the same category as Temari and Tenten.

I was thinking about Naruto having something with the Boss spirits for Ice and Darkness(Shiva and Yoruyonaka), but I'm still working some things out.

If anyone else has any female characters that I missed, review and tell me. I'll do some research on them and see what I can do.

On with the story!

XXXX

(Back With Naruto)

Naruto had taken the girl a little ways from the house to a clearing in the forest.

The entire time he never said a word, in fact he made no noise at all as he moved. No dry leaves crunched under his feet, no twigs snapped, nothing. It was like he was a ghost, and it was seriously unnerving for a ninja to know someone can be that quiet.

"Um..." the girl spoke up for the first time. "What are you going to do to me?" she asked timidly, she knew to fear this boy.

Naruto turned to her. "I'm going to let you go." he said simply.

The girl cocked her head to the side. "Huh?"

"I'm not going to let you leave, I'm just going to unbind you."

"So, what, you trust me?"

"No, there are only a handful of people I trust. What I trust is your intelligence. You know I can kill you before you could blink."

The girl blinked, then before she could even open her eyes she felt the cold metal of Naruto's blade at her throat.

She gulped. "Okay, I believe you." she felt the blade leave her skin.

"Now then, who are you and why are you here?" Naruto said in what could only be described as a bored tone.

The girl crossed her arms over her fairly large breasts. "What makes you think I will tell you anything?"

Naruto shrugged. "What reason do you have to stay loyal to Zabuza? He abandoned you. You were awake, so you know. He actually gave me permission to kill you."

The girl looked down, trying to hold in her tears. "I..."

"Hmm...Your loyalty doesn't lay with Zabuza, you have another clan member with his group. A sister maybe?"

The girl's head shot up. "How did you know that?"

Naruto shrugged. "Lucky guess. So, who are you? I know you're an Orasu, but the last I heard the Orasu clan fled from Kirigakure years ago. Well, what was left of them anyway."

The girl sighed. "Yes, my older sister, Chigusa, and I were exiled from the clan just a few days before the Mizukage ordered the destruction of the Orasu. We met up with a three more shinobi that had failed to assassinate the Mizukage on or way out. We joined up with them and fled. About two weeks into our travels, we ran into Zabuza and a little girl...We knew exactly who he was and what he had done. There wasn't a single person in all of Kiri that didn't. We knew we'd only be making things harder on ourselves by associated with Zabuza..." the girl sniffled a little, her eyes growing wet with tears.

"You have to understand...we had nothing. My sister and I no longer had a family, and Ki...the other three had failed at the one task they'd been trained to do for most of their lives. We had all lost our sense of purpose and self-worth...Zabuza offered us a chance to regain it. He said he had use for us, so we joined up." she started to cry. "There wasn't any other choice. Even if my sister and I didn't join, the others would've, and then we'd be completely alone...Easy pickings for the Kiri Bloodline Eradication Squads. So, for us, Zabuza offered more than just a new purpose in life...He offered us safety in numbers. The others didn't have bloodlines, and would be able to blend in without a problem...Us, on the other hand...We'd never be able to just slip quietly into the night and be safe from it all...There were a million and one ways for the KBES to find us, and they wouldn't rest until they did. We knew we'd be hunted for the rest of our lives, but at least we stood a chance against them if we stayed in the group." the girl was openly sobbing now

Naruto nodded. "I see. A wise choice on your part, at least for the time being. But what will you do now?"

The girl wiped her eyes and sniffled. "I-I don't know. I suppose, if you let me go, I'll go back to my sister."

Naruto snorted. "You're better off with me. I doubt Zabuza tolerates failure, even his own. Besides, if your sister really cares for you, she'll come looking for you."

The girl nodded. "So, who are you? My name is Orasu Kiriko, former Chūnin of Kirigakure." she bowed formally.

"I am Uzumaki Naruto, Genin of Konohagakure."

Kiriko stared at Naruto incredulously. "Bullshit, I saw what you did to Zabuza, and he's high Jōnin-level!"(1)

Naruto shrugged. "As far as anyone else knows, I'm a Genin. I don't know what it is, but I feel like something was wrong with our fight, like Zabuza wasn't fighting at full power. Was he injured prior to our battle?"

Kiriko shook her head. "No, not that I know of. But I'm not the medic of the group, Haku is...!" she slapped her hand over her mouth.

"Let me guess, this Haku was the one that saved Zabuza, correct?"

Kiriko sighed, then nodded. "Yeah, she doesn't know many medical techniques, but she works wonders with herbs."

Naruto nodded, then called his cloak to him.

Kiriko looked at the cloak, then at Naruto, then back at the cloak. "What the hell is that thing?"

"It's a living cloak, what does it look like? I can control every movement that this thing makes, and I can morph it into pretty much anything I choose, as you already know."

"...That's so cool, yet incredibly freaky at the same time."

"...Most people just say it's creepy."

They stood there for a few minutes. Kiriko sat on a stump, and Naruto leaned on a tree.

The silence was getting to Kiriko, she liked to talk to people when not on a mission.

"So, what's it like in Konoha?" she asked.

Naruto snorted. "For me: absolute hell. For everyone else: a virtual paradise."

"Why would it be hell for you?"

"If you don't already know, you don't need to." he said curtly.

Kiriko pouted cutely. "You don't have to be so mean about it, I was only asking."

"Hn." 'I need a come up with a new "indifference noise", the emo uses "hn" too much.' Naruto thought.

**"How about 'meh'?" **Kyuubi asked.

'Were you asleep or something?'

**"Not really, I woke up when you started kicking the big guy's ass. Spectacular ass whooping by the way."**

'...It was, wasn't it?'

While Naruto was having his conversation with his inner demon, Kiriko was wracking her brain for answers.

'Dammit, I know I've heard the name "Uzumaki Naruto" before!...Dad took me and Chigusa-onee-chan to a council meeting years ago. They said something about Konoha, Suna, and Kumo having these...living weapons. What were they called?...Gin-no...Jincurki-NO! Dammit!...Jinchuuriki, that's it!'

Kiriko looked at Naruto, and he didn't like the smirk on her face. "What?"

"You're Konoha's Jinchuuriki, aren't you?" she asked.

Naruto tensed and the eye slits of his mask glowed an icy blue color. "How did you know that?" he demanded, unleashing ungodly amounts of killing intent, all focused on the girl in front of him.

Kiriko suddenly found it very hard to breath. It was like someone was sucking the air out of her lungs and strangling her at the same time. She saw flashes of someone dying in increasingly brutal and violent ways. Her eyes widened in fear when she saw that the person being killed was her.

Naruto growled at the girl's unresponsiveness, then grabbed her arms and lifted her into the air like she weighed little more that an insect.

"I'll ask you one last time. How do you know what I am?"

"A c-council m-meeting in K-Kiri! M-my father said s-something a-about Konoha, S-Suna, and Kumo h-having living w-weapons!" she gasped out.

Naruto snarled and dropped Kiriko. She fell to the ground, gasping for breath.

He heard something cutting through the air behind him. He hand shot out and caught a throwing knife between his fingers. He surged his half demonic chakra into the knife, but it wasn't made to handle such potent chakra, and as a result it melted.

Naruto turned to his would-be assailant and saw a beautiful woman in a purple battle kimono holding two sais and wearing a scowl on her face.

"...You must be her sister." he turned back to Kiriko. "She must care for you."

Kiriko just looked at her sister with tears of joy in her eyes. "Onee-chan..."

But Chigusa mistook her tears of joy as tears of pain. She turned a fierce glare to Naruto, who just cocked his head to the side as he looked at Kiriko.

"What have you done to her you bastard?" Chigusa shouted as she charged forward.

Naruto didn't even turn to look at her, he just kept looking at Kiriko's tears.

'Why does she cry? Is she not happy? Is this what people call..."Tears of Joy"?' Naruto asked himself.

He subconsciously blocked a strike from Chigusa's sai, then he grabbed the blade itself and ripped the weapon from its owner's hand. His cloak suddenly shot off of his body and wrapped Chigusa in an unbreakable cocoon.

He turned to the struggling woman and asked in a bored tone, "Are you done yet?"

Chigusa snarled at Naruto and struggled more.

Naruto sighed. "I don't think my cloak appreciates you trying to hurt it."

"What the hell are you talking about?" the woman continued to wriggle like a worm on a fishing hook.

Naruto simply pointed beside her head. Chigusa turned her head and ended up looking at a huge mouth with rows of razor sharp teeth.

Naruto scratched his chin. "Hmm...I can't seem to remember the last time I fed it..."

Both Chigusa and Kiriko's eyes widened and they gulped.

"I'll stop now." the elder sister said.

"Good. Now, since it's pretty obvious that you aren't acting on Zabuza's wishes, we are no longer enemies. That is unless you want us to be." both sisters shook their head frantically. "Very well. So, what are you two going to do?"

Naruto's cloak unwrapped Chigusa and slithered back to its master.

The woman just stared at it. "..."

"I know, it's creepy." Kiriko said

"...Yet so cool." Chigusa said.

Naruto cleared his throat loudly. "Back to my question: what are you going to do?"

The sisters looked at each other. "We don't know. I guess we could go back to traveling."

Naruto shook his head. "Not a good idea."

"Why not?"

"You'll have Mist Hunter-nin after you because you were part of Zabuza's group. You already have Mist Bloodline Eradication units after you. And once Zabuza knows you've defected from the group, he's going to hunt you down and kill you. You know too much about the group's habits for him to let you live and give away that info."

Chigusa and Kiriko exchanged looked, then looked at Naruto. "Then what do you suggest we do?" Chigusa asked.

Naruto was about to say something, but then Kyuubi spoke up.

**"Kit, take them back to Konoha with you."**

'What, why?'

**"It's common for demons to take multiple wives." **Kyuubi shrugged. **'And if anything can get you to lighten up, it's hot sisters.' **

'...I'm twelve years old.'

**"So? You'll be thirteen in three months."**

'And that's supposed to make a difference?'

**"You said it yourself. 'Old enough to kill, old enough to fuck.'"**

'Whatever. Anyway, how would I get them into Konoha without causing some huge uproar? You know who the Hyūga's feel about the Orasu clan.'

**"There is a simple way to resolve that issue. Make those two your vassals."**

'What?'

**"Your servants. You are the last of your clan, which means you are the clan head. That means you are entitled to multiple wives, and personal servants. Anyone that pledges their loyalty to you becomes your vassal. And because you would basically own them, no one else would have anything to say about their lives."**

Chigusa coughed to get Naruto's attention when she noticed that he had spaced out.

Naruto shook his head. "As I was going to say, you can come back to Konoha with me."

The sisters' eyes widened. "Where those zombie-eyed bastards live? I don't think so." Chigusa said.

"I know a way around the Hyūga and the Council." when Naruto saw that he had their attention, he continued. "You can become my vassals."

Both girls cocked their heads to the side, confusion evident in their eyes. "What?"

Naruto sighed. "Basically, my servants. But don't worry about that, it's only a political thing. You see, I am the last of the Uzumaki clan, and as such I am entitled to personal servants. Not even the Hokage has any say over that. All you have to do is pledge your loyalty to me, and you are protected by law. Anyone does anything to you, they answer to me."

Chigusa and Kiriko looked at each other, then back at Naruto. "Can we think about this for a minute?"

Naruto nodded and walked out of the clearing, but used his enhanced hearing to eavesdrop.

"So, what do you think, Onee-chan?" Kiriko asked.

"I don't know, it sounds like a good plan. But we don't know anything about that guy, for all we know he could be some deranged psychopath!"

Kiriko sweatdropped. "You mean like Zabuza?"

Chigusa smiled sheepishly. "Good point."

"I think he's alright. He had every chance to kill me, but he didn't. He didn't harm you at all, even though you attacked him. And you should have seen what he did to Zabuza." Kiriko grinned at the memory.

Chigusa grinned. "Ooh, do tell!"

"I've never seen someone get their ass handed to them so badly. Zabuza didn't even get in one hit! It was like he was moving in slow motion!"

Chigusa scratched her chin. "Did he remove the weight seal on his zabatō?"

"...I completely forgot about that thing." Kiriko admitted.

"Something tells me Zabuza did too." Chigusa said.

Naruto rose an eyebrow. "So, Zabuza was holding back as well?" he grinned insanely. "Our next battle will surely be much more fun!" 'Speaking of weights, I'm getting to accustomed to this load.'

Naruto sent more chakra into his Biosuit and he felt the weight increase by about five hundred pounds on each limb, and seven on his torso. He grunted quietly under the new weight, but quickly got used to it and went back to listening.

"I would pay to see them both go all out on each other." Chigusa grinned.

Kiriko shook her head and laughed. "You're insane, you know that?"

Chigusa grinned cheekily. "That's why you love me!" she hugged her sister and they both laughed.

Naruto sighed. "Would...would it be like that if I had...a brother?" he whispered, but quickly rid his mind of such thoughts.

"Well," Kiriko clapped her hands together, "I say we stay with Naruto-kun!"

Chigusa stared at her sister, then grinned evilly. "Naruto-_kun_?" she nudged her sister with her elbow.

Kiriko blushed and stuttered. "I-I-I...Um..."

Chigusa laughed. "But in all seriousness, are you sure about this?"

Kiriko nodded. "Yes, he's our best, and currently only, chance at leading a relatively normal life. Besides, it might not be all too bad being his..._servant_." she grinned.

Chigusa blushed, then a far away look came over her face and a small trickle on blood came from her nose, which she quickly wiped away. But not before Kiriko caught it and doubled over laughing.

Chigusa glared at her sister. "Yeah, laugh it up. Your the pervert here for even bringing something like that up." she 'hmph'ed and turned away.

Kiriko looked around to check if anyone was watching. When she found nothing she motioned for her sister to come closer.

"What?"

Kiriko grinned lecherously. "Speaking of pervs, just between you and me, when Naruto-kun wasn't looking I...kinda...checked him out." she blushed at the thought.

Chigusa rose an eyebrow. "So?"

"No, you don't get it, I used the Blood Eye and I..._checked him_ _out_..."

Chigusa looked confused for a second, then her eyes widened. "Ooohhh! You did _that_, eh?" Kiriko nodded. "So, how...you know, big was it?" Chigusa blushed madly.

Kiriko looked around again. "Well...if I had to guess, I'd say...eight, maybe nine inches when fully erect." a trickle of blood dripped from her nose, which she didn't bother to wipe away.

(2)

Chigusa's eyes widened, then she adopted a far away look once again. Then she started giggling like a certain one-eyed pervert.

Naruto, who had heard everything, was starting to get paranoid. He knew that the Blood Eye granted the same x-ray vision that the Byakugan did. And with the way Hinata always acted around him, like she was incredibly embarrassed.

Naruto's eyes widened as he finally pieced it together. When Hinata was around him she would always look down, but he just thought she was looking at her feet. But now he realized that it wasn't her feet she was staring at.(3)

"So...everytime she was...staring at my..." Naruto shuddered, suddenly feeling very dirty and violated. He didn't really have a problem with it, but to know that it had been going on for so long, he couldn't really help but feel dirty.

Inside Naruto's mind Kyuubi was laughing her ass off. It was true she always oogled Naruto when he took a shower, but still, it was funny to see the ever emotionless Naruto Uzumaki shudder and hug himself. After all, Naruto's...size was her doing in the first place for turning him into a half demon.

Naruto had had enough of this and walked back into the clearing.

As soon as the sisters noticed him they jumped to their feet and wiped their noses, and in Chigusa's case the drool from the side of her mouth.

Naruto decided to act like he had never heard anything they said. "So, have you come to a decision?"

The sister's looked at each other and nodded, then kneeled before Naruto. "We will serve you for as long as you will have us, Uzumaki-sama." they chorused.

Naruto shook his head. "Oh no, I'll have none of that 'master' shit. I told you, the servant thing is only for show, you are my equals now. You are now part of the Uzumaki clan, congratulations...I guess."

Both sisters looked at Naruto with teary puppy dog eyes.

Naruto sweatdropped. "What are you doing?" he asked uneasily. Every instinct in him was telling him to run, but unknown to him Kyuubi was suppressing them all.

The sisters lunged at him and screamed, "NII-CHAMA!" then latched onto him, giggling like schoolgirls.

Naruto's sweatdrop grew to insane levels. '...Okay, even I have to admit that was incredibly cute.'

Kyuubi put up a victory sign and did her little victory dance. Now, most people would know when a giant demon fox was dancing in their head, but Kyuubi mostly wandered around her vessel's mind in her human form. This was the same form she used to train Naruto.

Naruto still had no idea that Kyuubi was free from her cage, as she went back inside of it whenever Naruto came to his mindscape, which wasn't very often anymore.

Naruto wriggled out of the two sisters' grip and shook his head. "Enough of that, were going back to Tazuna-san's home." he walked out of the clearing, his new "sisters" following him.

When they arrived everyone, minus Kakashi, was already having lunch.

Tsunami noticed the trio first and smiled. "Hello, Naruto-san. Who are those two lovely young women with you?"

Chigusa and Kiriko blushed slightly at the compliment from the older woman.

Chigusa bowed and spoke. "I am Orasu Chigusa, and this is my younger sister, Kiriko." Kiriko bowed as well.

Sakura stared at Kiriko for a minute, then recognized her as the girl that Naruto had captured with his cloak.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING, NARUTO? SHE'S WORKING WITH THE ENEMY!" the pink haired girl screeched.

Naruto rolled his eyes. "Quiet down, you banshee. These two have defected from Zabuza's group, and they are coming with us back when we return to Konoha."

"But how do we know they won't betray us?" Sasuke said, eying the two women suspiciously.

Naruto sighed and rubbed his temples. "Because, they have pledged their loyalty to me, something they never did for Zabuza. Besides, if I thought they were untrustworthy, do you honestly think they would still be alive?" he looked at his two teammates. "And you two were praised as the class genius'. And yet all I see are two fools pretending to be smart."

Sasuke growled and jumped from his seat and tried to attack Naruto.

Naruto sighed and dodged a punch from Sasuke. He grabbed the boy's wrist as he passed and placed his hand on the back of his head. Then he smashed the Uchiha's face into the floor, HARD. Naruto lifted up Sasuke's head to make sure he was out.

"Still utterly pathetic." he snorted, then dropped the Uchiha's face back to the floor. He turned to his new servants. "You two, take him up to the fourth room in the hallways upstairs, that's his and Kakashi's room. You will be staying in the fifth room with Sakura." he gestured to the loud pink haired girl.

Both girls bowed. "Yes, Naruto-sama." they picked up Sasuke and took him upstairs.

Everyone just blinked, then shrugged and went back to their meal. Naruto turned and was about to walk out the door again, but Tsunami stopped him.

"Oh, Naruto-san, where are you doing? Don't you want to eat?" she asked.

Naruto turned to her. "No thank you. There is something I have to do for now, I'll just catch something while I'm out."

Tsunami nodded. "Oh...Well, okay then. I'll save you some, how's that?"

"...That will be fine, thank you, Tsunami-san." with that Naruto walked out.

Before he could leave, be ran into a young boy wearing black overalls and a fisherman's hat. His eyes were swollen and bloodshot, obvious signs that he had been crying.

"Who are you?" the boy asked.

Naruto just stared for minute. "...I am a ninja hired to protect your grandfather...Inari-san."

The boy's eyes widened. "How do you know my name?"

"I told you, my team and I were hired to protect your grandfather. Your mother told us about you."

"Why are you still here, then? Grandpa his already home."

"We are still here because there were complications with our mission. They were caused by one named Gato, so he is now a threat. And all threats are to be eliminated." Naruto spoke like some kind of robot.

Inari's eyes widened and he scowled and the masked and cloaked ninja. "Why would you walk to you own death like that?"

Naruto rose an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

"By fighting Gato and his army you're just going to be killed! Just like everyone else that has gone up against him! No one can defeat him with that army by his side!" the boy cried.

Naruto snorted at the pitiful display of weakness. "No, _you_ cannot defeat him. Don't lump me in with your pitiful self. And he has an army, you say? Well then, I guess I'll just have to kill them all, won't I?"

Naruto walked passed the stunned youth and heard him say quietly, "You're going to die...You're all going to die...Just like _he_ did."

Naruto just scoffed and walked off into the forest.

Later Naruto pulled his sword from "storage", as he called it. Using the voice to guide him to what he was looking for.

After nearly two hours of searching, the voice finally grew from a whisper to a sinister hiss.

_"Yes! Follow my voice, gain my power, and obtain your greatest desires!"_

Naruto was getting really annoyed at the voice, it just wouldn't let up, and it was starting to repeat itself like a broken record.

Naruto came to a clearing near a small river. There was a odd shrine opposite of his position.

Naruto cocked his head to the side. "...Weird. Who would put a shrine here?"

He then noticed that everything around the shrine was dead. The trees, the grass, and various small animals that had wandered by, everything within twenty feet of the shrine was dead.

Naruto also noticed that the animals were in the same state that he had left Mizuki in when he had taken his soul.

"So, everything here had had its soul and life-force taken out."

**"Yes, it seems some humans were tricked into thinking that the 'soul' of the Soul Edge was some kind of Fallen God. They must have made this shrine for it, then had their souls taken. I can feel a strong seal on the shrine. I assume it keeps it from escaping, and limits its soul stealing powers to that small circle." **Kyuubi said.

"So, what do I do? Just walk up to it?"

His question was answered, but not by Kyuubi. _"Yes. Walk to the shrine and claim my power!"_

"...Okay." Naruto walked up to the shrine.

He felt a slight tug in the back of his head, but nothing more.

_"What? You seem to be immune to my power."_ the voice sounded contemplative now.

"Who, or what, the hell are you?"

_"Simple, young halfling, I am the Soul Edge. I tried to take over you mind and force you to do my bidding, like I do with every fool who thinks they can wield my power. But you seem to be immune to my abilities, which means you must be the real deal. A true warrior that can make full use of my power. That last being that was capable of this was a human knight by the name of Siegfried."_

"Um...Thanks?" Naruto said.

The voice chuckled evilly. _"You may offer me a challenge, but I will corrupt you. Even Siegfried could only hold me off for a few years, and he was one of the most powerful of his kind. But you ARE part demon, he was only human, so you have an advantage over him there. And with the fox bitch inside you, you may prove entertaining after all!"_

Kyuubi growled loudly. **"Oh, you are so dead! Come on, Naruto, we're kicking his ass right her, right now!"**

_"Come and get it, bitch!"_ the voice taunted.

Naruto walked up and ripped the small doors on the shrine off and found a large round piece of metal, almost like a shield. He didn't care what it was, all he knew was that it contained whatever was calling him. So, he did what he thought would work; he took out the Black Soul and stabbed the metal plate.

Cracks spider-webbed out from the point of impact. Then black and purple chakra leaked out from the cracked area. Naruto could feel pure evil radiating from the vile chakra, and it was almost sickening. The metal plate suddenly shattered and a wave of the horrid chakra washed over Naruto and he passed out.

(Soul World)

Naruto opened his eyes, only to find he was no longer in the clearing. He rose to his feet and saw that he was in the middle of a barren wasteland. With only large rocks and the occasional dead tree. The ground was completely red, like a river of blood swept through a desert, staining the sand crimson.

He looked up and saw that the sky was an almost beautiful mix of different oranges, reds, and yellows. He also saw a massive, multicolored, slitted eye watching him from directly above.

"Where the hell am I now?" he mumbled to himself.

"I don't know, but at least the sky's pretty...But it could do without the eye." a female voice said beside him.

Naruto looked over to see a beautiful woman in her late teens to early twenties standing next to him. She was wearing a black kimono with red flame-like markings in various places. Her large breast were blatantly shown off by the outfit. Her waist length crimson hair swayed gracefully in the wind, and her slitted red eyes scanned the area cautiously. Naruto could see the tips of her sharp fangs poking out cutely over her bottom lip. She also had three whisker marks on each of her cheeks, but they were thicker than Naruto's own.

"Kyuubi? What are you doing here? And what happened to your voice?" Naruto asked.

Kyuubi turned to the boy and blinked. "What do you mean?"

"Even in your human form you always have that commanding, powerful tone. But here you don't, why?"

Someone answered him, but it wasn't Kyuubi.

_"That can be answered very simply, halfling. We are inside of me, the Soul Edge. I drew your soul into this world for a duel, I will fight you for control of your body."_ the sinister hiss of the Soul Edge said from behind the pair.

They both whipped around to face the owner of the voice. Before them stood a tall humanoid in blue armor. He had a horn on his forehead and a helmet covered his head completely, except for his eyes. its right arm was a twisted and grotesque thing, with a three clawed hand and a mouth on its shoulder. The arm looked like some kind of demonic tumor or something, and it seemed to be spreading to the thing's chest, where another mouth was located, infused to the chest plate. (4)

The thing continued its explanation as to why they were inside the demonic sword.

_"The reason the fox doesn't have her normal...'commanding' presence is because I drew your soul into this world, and, since her soul is entwined with yours, she was drawn in as well. But the seal attaches her chakra to your body, which is outside this world. So she has absolutely no power here, in fact, the only thing keeping her from being absorbed is her soul's attachment to yours. So in other words, all she can do is sit down, shut up, and enjoy the show."_ the demon held out its demon arm and a huge zabatō-like sword appearing in its hand.

The sword was as long as the demon was tall. It looked like it was made of both metal, bone, and other organic matter, with veins and flesh making up most of the sword. The most disturbing feature of the sword was the big purple eye at the base of the blade, near the hilt.

Naruto was about to draw the Black Soul, but found that he no longer had it.

The demon laughed. _"What? You thought I would allow you to keep a part of me in this world? HA! Don't be a fool, the Black Soul is ME!...Or, more accurately, it WAS me. When you released me from that damnedable seal, I re-combined with the Black Soul and completed myself...But I will not be fully complete until I destroy the Soul Calibur and regain my lost power! You are a shinobi! You should be more than capable of fighting without a sword, or any other weapon."_

Naruto sighed, handed his cloak to Kyuubi, and slid into his Phantom Devil Taijutsu style. "So, who are you?"

_"I am the physical representation of the Soul Edge. I am based off of my first wielder, the knight Siegfried. But you may call me The Azure Knight, Nightmare!"_ Nightmare then lunged at Naruto with speed rivaling his own.

Naruto's eyes widened and he dove to the side and activated an Air Cutter on each arm. He back flipped over a horizontal slash from Nightmare, and took a swipe at the demon's head.

Nightmare ducked out of the way, but one Wind blade made a cut on his back. The demonic knight swung his sword a full three hundred and sixty degrees, catching Naruto off guard with his speed and smacking him away with the flat of his blade.

Naruto tumbled before flipping to his feet. He was about to use a technique, but he felt something was off.

Nightmare laughed and wagged a finger at Naruto. _"Sorry, no-go on the techniques. The only ones you can use are ones that have to do with weaponry, like those air blades...Or like this! Ravaging Wave!"_ Nightmare swung his zabatō and a wave of dark energy flew towards Naruto.

'It's like my Dragon Splitter.' Naruto thought as he jumped over the horizontal wave. "Are you copying my moves already?"

Nightmare laughed. _"Fool, I was using that attack before your ancestors were born!"_

Naruto turned the Air Cutter on his left arm into a spear, then extended it towards the knight.

Nightmare rose an eyebrow as he saw a minor distortion in the air shoot towards him. He batted it aside with his version of the Soul Edge and chuckled.

_"Impressive, boy. Were I a lesser being, I might not have caught that in time."_ he noticed that Naruto was gone, then smirked as he felt the boy appear behind him. He caught Naruto's wrist and snapped it, causing him to deactivate his Air Cutter. _"Or that. Though it is quite impressive that you have not cried out in pain, as so many others have."_

Naruto snorted and his wrist healed. "You call that pain?" he punched Nightmare in the face, denting the helmet and breaking his own hand.

Nightmare stumbled back, but had sense enough to lash out with his demon arm, slashing Naruto deeply with one claw.

The armor healed itself and was back to normal in seconds, as was Naruto's hand and wrist.

Nightmare laughed again. _"You are one of the first to actually dent my armor. And in one of the stronger areas, no less! That feat is all the more impressive coupled with the fact that you did it with your left arm, when you are mainly right handed. You could prove to be a challenge after all!"_

In truth, Nightmare was far more impressed than he let on. _'Hmm, I've been hit with one hundred pound metal spheres shot from cannons that have done less damage than this one boy. It's amazing!'_

Naruto wasn't one to let up on an opponent that had a chance of beating him. "You said no techniques unless they work with or as weaponry?" Nightmare nodded and Naruto smirked. "Well, how about this? Ravaging Storm!"

Naruto began to spin rapidly, grabbing the air with his chakra and taking it with him. This created a miniature tornado, but combined with his Air Cutters, it was like a cross between a typhoon and a blender. It sucked in, then obliterated anything that it could.

Nightmare snorted, he had encountered something like this before, and he knew just how to counter it.

He slammed his sword into the ground and began to spin like Naruto had, dragging the sword with him. _"Vile Tempest!"_ dark purple and black chakra swirled around Nightmare, forming into a much larger tornado than Naruto's.

The two forces met in a devastating clash of power. Naruto held his own for nearly five minutes, but he eventually had to back off, Nightmare was just too strong.

This was the moment Nightmare had been waiting for. While Naruto had to keep spinning to maintain his attack, Nightmare just used a vortex of pure chakra, giving him more control of the attack, and more power. After Naruto backed off, he expanded the vortex, turning his chakra tornado into a miniature black hole.

Naruto was using his chakra to stick to the ground as best he could, but the surface was mainly sand and loose soil. He had to send his chakra deeper into the ground to find something solid to latch onto. And after he did, he had to create a chakra shield around his body. This kept him relatively safe from flying debris, he just hoped nothing large would come at him.

'Shit, what do I do now? I can't get close to him with that vortex around him, and I don't think he's going to let it down anytime soon.' Naruto thought. 'I have to think this through. I still have the advantage in speed because of his armor and his weapon. It's obvious he's got me in physical strength, and his armor gives him much better defense...Wait! I have armor as well, so let's even things up a little more.'

Naruto changed his Biosuit into its main battle armor form. His mask turned black, and its carvings red. The Konohagakure symbol turned into the kanji for demon. His shirt and vest turned into an obsidian chest plate with a red carving of a fox head with nine tails spiraling around it. Black forearm vambraces formed and his gloves turned into clawed gauntlets. His black pants became more form-fitting and kneepads that looked like fanged demonic skulls with two sharp horns coming from their foreheads fused into his now spiked boots. Three spikes sprouted from his greaves and vambraces. Two large blades came out of the back of the vambraces at the elbow. Metal shoulder pads appeared and sprouted three small spikes each.

Naruto looked at his new armor and smirked, it seemed that shifting the Biosuit to "battle mode" increased his power.

'So, this armor offers far more than just defense.' he looked back and saw a dead tree that had been ripped from the ground flying towards him.

Naruto decided to try something that he had been working on for a few weeks; combining different elements to his Air Cutter. He activate one on his right arm and combined Fire and Wind to make heat. I was actually more versatile than Fire itself, because it was hot enough to melt things, yet it was almost invisible and nearly impossible to escape. Fire was too instantaneous, and people would notice and escape. But if the increase in heat was gradual, then most people would ignore it until it was too late.

Naruto had found some pretty...interesting ways to kill someone with heat. One unfortunate rookie Jōnin ninja wad decided it was a good idea to follow Naruto and finally get revenge on the demon that killed his best friend. The poor guy literally never saw it coming. Naruto had used a new technique he invented: the Fire Release: Burning Whisper. Naruto breathed out a jet of superheated air and directed it at the Jōnin. When said ninja breathed in, the hot air entered his lungs and cooked him from the inside out.

When the tree was close enough, Naruto turned rapidly and slashed it. The truck of the tree was split cleanly, but was quickly catching fire. By the time it made it to the vortex, it was nothing but ashes.

Naruto snorted and looked back at Nightmare's vortex. 'Hmm...I have an idea, but it may cost me the battle. But if it works, I may be able to turn the tide of this fight...Fuck it.' Naruto created another Heat Cutter and ran at the spinning vacuum of chakra.

Inside said tower, Nightmare rose an eyebrow behind his helmet. _'What in hell's name is that halfling doing? Hmm, I sense a power increase in him, and that armor seems familiar...Ah, Kyuubi's insignia, that must be that "Biosuit" she was always so proud of. Let's see what the young one has in store for me."_ he chuckled.

As Naruto neared the vortex, he could feel its pull on him intensify dramatically. He had to use chakra to keep himself grounded, as well as boost his speed a bit. When he got close enough he gathered more chakra into his legs and jumped as high as he could. He underestimated his own power and overshot the top of the vortex by over a hundred feet, but it didn't matter to him.

He held out his cutter arm and aimed at Nightmare, who he could see looking up at him. He made his Heat Cutter into a full cylinder, then he deactivated the chakra shield at the end of it. All the hot air inside it was under intense pressure, but had no way out. But now that it did, it shot out of the open end of the chakra prison.

Nightmare's eyes widened when he saw a huge distortion in the air shooting at him from above. It was too fast for him to get out of the way, so he took up his sword and prepared to try and block it. What he didn't expect was a wave of intense heat to cascade down on him.

But something unexpected happened. You see, Nightmare's cyclone of chakra may have seemed like it was just a chaotic mess, but it was actually carefully controlled and contained by the Azure Knight's concentration. When the heat wave hit him, he lost that concentration, and all that foul chakra was released, with highly explosive results.

The swirling pillar suddenly turned into an expanding dome of destructive power. Naruto, who was still above that dome, eventually had to obey the laws a gravity. As he plummeted towards the blast, he curled into a ball and created a thick chakra shield around himself to protect him.

For some odd reason the dome reacted violently to contact with Naruto's half demon chakra. As Naruto was swallowed by it, the dome suddenly exploded. The blast wave created by the explosion swept across the barren landscape, demolishing everything in its path.

Kyuubi, who had the sense to get as far away from the battlefield as she could, saw the wave coming at her. She knew she had no power in the world of the Soul Edge, she was as weak as a normal human now. For the first time in thousands of years, the Kyuubi no Kitsune was afraid.

When Naruto sank into the chakra dome, he found that it was oddly calm. He could see Nightmare standing in the center of the dome, staring at him.

The demon suddenly laughed. _"Hahahaha! You've really done it now, halfling!"_

Naruto glared at Nightmare. "What do you mean?"

_"Even if by some kind of miracle you manage to defeat me, I'm still going to get at least one soul out of this!"_ he cackled.

Naruto rose an eyebrow, then his eyes widened. "Kyuubi..." he whipped around and ran towards the ever expanding edge of the dome.

He could hear Nightmare's laughter behind him. _"Yes, run! Run to your little fox! You can do it, I believe in you! HAHAHAHAHA!"_ Nightmare doubled over in laughter.

This only served to anger Naruto more, causing him to pump more chakra into his legs. He smashed through the dome wall at full speed continued towards where he felt Kyuubi's faint chakra signature. As he ran he passed the wave of chakra that was preceding that dome, he could feel it tearing at his armor, melting his skin from his muscles. But he didn't stop, he refused to stop. For the first time in six years, Naruto feared for the life of another.

Kyuubi watched the wave get closer and closer to her location. She had taken to wrapping Naruto's cloak around her, though she knew it was futile. Suddenly Naruto appeared before her and wrapped her in the thickest chakra shield he had ever made.

When Naruto did this it took nearly half his chakra, leaving him winded.

"Naruto! What the hell are you doing?" Kyuubi banged on the shield.

Naruto looked up at her. "I'm saving you."

Kyuubi shook her head frantically. "No, you're not! You're just condemning us both! With the amount of chakra that this shield took out of you, you won't be able to survive that kind of blast!"

Naruto just looked back at the wave, then back to a now weeping Kyuubi. "You underestimate me." was all he said before the wave crashed over them.

Kyuubi could see Naruto's armor cracking and breaking off. His skin was being melted and peeled from his body. His muscles were being cooked like steaks, and his blood was boiling inside him. Blood leaked from his nose, mouth, eyes, and ears. It was being forced out of the eye slits in his mask. His hair was smoldering, but not catching fire just yet.

And through all this, Naruto didn't cry out. He made no other noise other than the occasional choked gurgle and as more blood rushed up his throat from his liquefying organs.

Kyuubi couldn't take anymore of the gruesome spectacle, and used Naruto's cloak to cover her head.

Eventually the wave subsided, and the dome dispersed before it ever reached them. Naruto's mutilated body fell to the ground, it was truly amazing that he even managed to remain on his knees throughout the entire ordeal.

Kyuubi sobbed as she lifted her head from the cloak and looked at the body of her fallen love.

"I-I'm so sorry..." she cried. Then Naruto's shield dropped, as he was no longer alive to maintain it.

Kyuubi lunged at Naruto's body and hugged it fiercely, violent tremors wracking her body. She heard clapping and lifted her head to see Nightmare walking towards her, his sword stuck in the ground beside him.

_"Bravo! Bravo! I must applaud the Halfling__'__s strength. Not once did he scream through that entire process! Even I would have wailed like a banshee after awhile. But it appears that his soul wasn't as strong as his willpower."_ Nightmare sighed and ripped his sword from the earth, then stalked towards Kyuubi. _"It's a pity, really, I was looking forward to truly fighting him. Oh well. Hmm, I am a bit hesitant to take your soul, fox, I have no idea how that seal of yours will react. But, seeing as how it will most likely only effect you, I'll take the risk."_ he rose his sword. _"Any last words?"_

Kyuubi nodded. "Yes, but they're not for you." she looked at Naruto's masked face and shed one last tear. "And he's not alive to hear them, so there is no point."

Nightmare narrowed his eyes. _"So be it."_ he swung his sword down to cleave both souls in two.

Naruto could feel nothing. Not the pain of his body being destroyed, not the overwhelming feeling of guilt and disgust he had for himself, knowing that he had failed. He was laying on his back in some kind of infinite abyss.

"So...this is death...I'm not impressed." he mumbled.

**"It is not your time, Boy."** a deep, rumbling voice seemed to come from every direction.

"What?"

**"You are far too important for me to let you die now. It is not your time, Namikaze Naruto."** the voice carried an almost amused tone.

XXXX

Done.

Anyone that has read the latest in Naruto manga knows the Yondaime's real name, Minato Namikaze. In truth I've actually known for awhile(one of my friends hacked the official Naruto website and found all the character bios for the known characters, and even a few that hadn't appeared at the time. He's a true geek.)

I used the fan-made name Arashi Kazama mainly because no one would know who Minato Namikaze was. Another reason was that, at the time, I thought the name Minato sounded a bit too much like a girl for such a kick ass shinobi.

Nightmare is finally here, so that's good. I was too lazy to describe him, so just look up Nightmare from Soul Calibur 3 on Google or something. But his sword is the one from Soul Calibur 2. If that's a little confusing...it really shouldn't be.

Nightmare may be a little OOC, but he didn't have that much of a personality in the first place, so meh.

Kyuubi finally admits her feelings out loud, so w00t for that. Too bad Naruto was a little too...dead to hear her.

The prank will be in the next chapter, so look out for that.

(1): I know he's really supposed to be ANBU level, but low ANBU and high Jōnin are pretty much the same thing in the fic. I'm assuming Zabuza wasn't a very good ANBU, seeing as how he brags about everything but that, which would be something to brag about.

(2): I don't want to hear any complaints about that! You all know damn well that Kyuubi is the type of...person to mess with someone's body. FemKyuubi because she likes them big, and Male Kyuubi because he would want to keep some of his dignity. Oh, and in case I haven't mentioned it before, Naruto's large for his age anyway, he's five foot seven, around Itachi's height.

(3): I can't remember who it was, but someone said something about pervy Hinata in one of the reviews. I HAD to put it in!

(4): I'm not describing the rest, just look up the Soul Calibur 3 version of Nightmare on Google.

Until next time: Read, Review, and Vote, 'cause it's your last chance for the that!

Jason Out!


	10. The End Of A Nightmare

And the poles are closed!

Final votes are as follows:

Haku lives: 19

Haku dies: 1

Haku goes to Konoha: 15

Haku stays with Tazuna's family: 3

Zabuza heartless bastard: 5

Zabuza compassionate: 9

Zabuza lives: 13

Zabuza dies: 8

Zabuza goes to Konoha: 12

FINALLY! Someone voted for Haku to die! But it was because I made him...her...IT a girl in this story...meh.

Anyway, updates will be coming later for a while, I'm starting to have problems with my computer. The reason this one was slightly late was because I was being harassed by a virus protection website/company. They gave me a virus in my e-mail that only they could get rid of, thus making me buy their crap, but I outsmarted the bastards! My computer has a system restore program for shit like that! So I lost nothing but the virus and actually gained a few things as well.

But it appears they are very persistent, so I have to carefully check every file on my computer almost every day to make sure I got rid of the entire thing. Otherwise it will come back.

Now, here's the next chapter and the conclusion of Naruto v Nightmare!

XXXX

Naruto's eyes widened. While reading the Forbidden Scroll of Sealing he had stumbled upon a note left by the Yondaime. It said that he had renounced his clan name and would no longer be called "Namikaze Minato", he would now be known as "Kazama Arashi".

'"Namikaze'? But only the Yondaime Hokage had that surname. So that must mean..."

The voice laughed. **"So, the young halfling has finally figured it out, eh? It's about time."**

"Who are you?"

**"Simple, I am the one who took your father's soul and sealed the Kyuubi within you. I am the Shinigami: the Death God."**

Naruto narrowed his eyes. "So, the Yondaime was my father...Say, Shinigami-sama, can I..._chat _with my dear old dad for a minute?"

The Death God chuckled. **"As entertaining that would be, I couldn't allow you to do that without taking your soul. And as I said before, you are far too Important to die. There is something you still must do for us."**

"Okay, who is 'us', and what do I have to do?"

**"Whoops, I've said too much already. And as for what you must do...Well, if I told you, you probably wouldn't do it. So I'll tell you when the time is right."**

"And that would be...?"

**"When you really don't have a choice in the matter."**

"Oh joy." Naruto rolled his eyes.

**"You always wanted to test your power against the strongest of opponents, right? Well, you are going to face enemies even stronger than the Soul Edge and Nightmare. Enemies that are on, or even above, Kyuubi's level. You have to prepare for that, and the first step has already been taken with you becoming a half demon."**

"Oh? And what is the second step, and just how many 'steps' are there?"

**"The second step is simple; you must conquer the curse of the Soul Edge. As for how many steps there are...Well, that all depends on how certain events unfold. But for now I'm going to send you back to the battlefield, what happens from there is up to you."**

"Wait! What the hell is going on here?!"

**"More questions? You're eventually going to be a full demon, but since you're still half human, I guess it's natural for you."**

"Huh?"

**"Humans ask questions and expect for someone else to answer them. Demons seek out those answers for themselves. Now go back and kick Nightmare's armored ass! And don't forget, we'll be watching."**

With that a blinding light washed over Naruto.

Nightmare felt something was off, but paid it no mind and his sword continued its deadly arc.

Kyuubi clenched her eyelids shut, waiting for death, but something else happened, something almost too amazing to believe.

Nightmare's blade was stopped by another. It was a long, pitch black katana blade.

"Your fight is with me, Nightmare." Naruto forced the demon knight back and rose to his feet, completely healed. Even his armor was flawlessly reconstructed.

"N-Naruto?" Kyuubi couldn't believe what she was seeing.

Naruto looked at her over his shoulder and nodded and affirmative. "Sorry about that, I must've fallen asleep for a little bit."

Kyuubi smiled and wiped the remaining tears from her eyes. "You idiot..."

Nightmare narrowed his eyes. _"And here I thought you were dead."_

"Glad to disappoint you." Naruto slid into his Dragon Destroyer stance.

This was when Nightmare noticed Naruto's weapon and his own. His own sword seemed to have gotten smaller and lighter.(1)

_"How the hell do you have the Black Soul in this realm?!"_ Nightmare demanded.

Naruto shrugged. "You tell me, this is your world, I'm just going to beat you in it."

Nightmare snorted. _"Well, now you may actually have a chance at doing that. You somehow summoning the Black Soul has drained me of a large chunk of my power. And you seem to be back at full strength, so now we're about even. But don't think that will save you, I will still take you soul!"_

Naruto just scoffed, then disappeared from view, followed by Nightmare.

Sounds reminiscent of Naruto's fight with Zabuza could be heard throughout the decimated landscape. Flashes of metal and brief sparks indicated where the combatants met, trading blows so fast that even the most trained eyes could barely follow.

They were pretty much matched for speed, but Naruto was more agile and maneuverable. Nightmare, however, had a strength advantage. It came from him being a high level full demon, and his monstrous right arm. And while Nightmare's bulky armor restricted his movement, it provided better defense than Naruto's relatively light armor.

Nightmare swung his sword at Naruto's waist, but Naruto jumped over it and tried to bring his own sword down on Nightmare's head. Nightmare quickly switched sword hands and blocked Naruto's sword with his demon arm, which was even harder than his armor.

Naruto, who wasn't expecting the arm to be that hard, wasn't ready for the recoil of the blade bouncing off. He was thrown off balance for a split second, and that was all Nightmare needed to gain the upper hand. He grabbed Naruto's head with his demon arm and started to slowly crush it.

Naruto tried to strike his captor with the Black Soul, but Nightmare just grabbed the blade and ripped it from his hands.

_"Very impressive, halfling, very impressive indeed. You can't tell right now, but I'm actually sweating behind this helmet. I don't know how you came back from the dead, or how you were capable of summoning a part of myself in my own world. But I do know how to remedy both problems."_ Nightmare cackled and applied more pressure to Naruto's already abused skull.

Naruto could feel his head slowly beginning to implode from the intense pressure. He struggled against the demonic appendage, but nothing he did worked. His clawed gauntlets did nothing to the titanium-like skin, but he had one last chance. It would be next to impossible to concentrate with his head being crushed, but it was his last hope.

Naruto slipped his right arm behind his back, but Nightmare was too busy cackling with insane glee to notice such a small movement. He blocked out the pain from his cracking skull and concentrated his chakra into his hand. He envisioned a glowing sphere with chakra swirling around inside it in all directions. He felt the sphere appear in his hand and he clutched it, struggling to keep his concentration.

Naruto suddenly chuckled and Nightmare stopped squeezing. _"What exactly is so funny, halfling?"_

Naruto smirked behind his cracked mask. "It seems...my father...was good for something afterall...RASENGAN!" he brought a sphere of swirling indigo chakra from behind his back and smashed it into Nightmare's arm.

_"AAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!"_ Nightmare wailed in pain as the ball chewed through his arm like it was made of paper.

A normal Rasengan wouldn't have done near that much damage, but this was a demonic Rasengan. The half demon chakra Naruto used to power the technique was much more potent than normal human chakra, thus making the technique much more powerful.

Foul, dark red, almost brown, blood oozed from Nightmares demonic arm. He hissed in pain and tried to flex it, but Naruto's attack bored too deep into his arm and severed the tendons, so for the time being his arm was useless for wielding a sword. This took away his biggest advantage: physical power.

_'Shit, this will take awhile to heal.'_ Nightmare gripped his Evil Seed with his left hand. _"Don't think you have me beaten yet, halfling. I'm mainly a left handed swordsman anyway. I'll just have to sacrifice a bit of power in my attacks."_ (2)

Naruto just snorted in response, then rushed forward and locked blades with the demonic knight.

As they each pushed for the upper hand, Nightmare glared at Naruto.

_"While that technique was indeed impressive, you shouldn't have been able to do it in my world."_

Naruto smirked. "How many things have I already done to you that I shouldn't be able to? Besides, the Rasengan is treated as an extension of my arm, or a super-powered punch. Just like my Air Cutter, it is a form of weaponry."

Nightmare scoffed. _"So, you found a loop hole, eh? You damned foxes always were a crafty bunch, especially demonic ones. But it's no matter, I will still have your soul!"_

Nightmare kicked Naruto in the stomach and he was sent flying, with the demon close behind. Naruto back flipped in mid-air, then crouched as low as he could. Not even a fourth of a second later Nightmare's Evil Seed cleaved through the air above his head. Naruto went for a sweep kick to Nightmare's legs, but the knight jumped over it and stabbed downward with his sword.

Naruto rolled out of the way before the blade pierced him and hopped to his feet. With the power Nightmare put behind that strike, his sword was stuck three feet into the ground.

Naruto noticed the sword's large purple eye staring at him, and he got an idea. He charged towards his target, sword ready to run it through.

Nightmare saw Naruto, but he knew he couldn't avoid whatever he had in store, so he put up his demonic arm at the last second to block it. But he wasn't what Naruto was going for.

The Evil Seed's eye widened and its pupil dilated as Naruto's sword got closer and closer.

Nightmare saw Naruto rushing him, but realized too late that he wasn't the target.

Naruto rammed his blade straight through the eye of the Evil Seed. The sword started to crack, allowing purple light to shine through.

_"NOOOOOO!"_ Nightmare screamed as his sword began to crack and fall to pieces.

Naruto saw his opportunity and ripped the Black Soul free from the eye. He then lunged and swung it at the Azure Knight's neck.

All Nightmare saw was a flash of metal and his eyes widened. _"I-I-Impossible..."_ was all he said before his head slid from between his shoulders and shattered like glass when it hit the ground.

The demon's body stayed standing though. It trembled and shuddered, then the demon's vile chakra erupted from the stump of its neck. The beam shot up towards the massive eye in the sky and stuck it dead center.

The world around Naruto started to shake and collapse; it was imploding on itself. The last thing he saw was the huge eye look directly at him, bolts of lightning flying around it, then everything went black.

Naruto's eyes snapped open and he jumped to his feet. He whipped his head around, looking for any possible enemies, but saw nothing.

He sighed heavily. "I guess I won." he smirked.

**"You sure did! Congratulations Kit!" **Kyuubi cheered.

_"Yeah, yeah, you defeated me. But I killed you first, so HAH!"_ Nightmare's voice rang out in Naruto's head.

Naruto's eyes widened. "What the hell?! How are you still here?!"

_"You may have defeated me, and freed my soul from the Soul Edge, but my power still remains inside it, which means you wield it now. But I need to teach you how to wield it so you don't destroy the planet, or something. And before you ask; yes, I do have that much power. I'll admit I'm weaker than Kyuubi at full power, but not by much."_ Nightmare actually sounded kind of bored.

"So you're my new guide?"

_"Yup. Now for the basics, as you know the Black Soul had the ability to take souls, but only with prolonged physical contact with the blade itself. Now that you have the power of the Soul Edge, you can take souls yourself. By that I mean you can just reach inside a being's body and rip their soul out. But you can only do it with that kind of ease with hundreds, maybe even thousands of years of practice. So you can't just start stealing souls all willy-nilly, got it?_

_Now, since you defeated me, the power of the Soul Edge has gone waaaaayyyy down. To recharge it you need to feed it souls. To do that you can either jam the sword into someone's body and let the blade feed on its own; you can kill a lot of people in one place, and the Soul Edge will draw the souls to itself and absorb them; or you can rip someone's soul out yourself and feed it to the Soul Edge. It's all up to you._

_The Soul Edge also has the ability to change its form and appearance to suit your fighting style. And you will now have a demon form, which will probably look something like me, but you should be able to make your own modifications. The sword will also change when in your demon form, so I suggest you learn how to use a '__zabatō__', as you call it."_ Nightmare stated.

(3)

Naruto nodded, then rose an eyebrow when a black feather floated down in front of him. He looked up and saw a raven circling above his head. It would have looked like a normal raven...if it didn't have a five foot wingspan.

Naruto held out his arm, not really knowing what else to do. The raven looked down and swooped low, coming to land on Naruto's outstretched forearm.

The bird's glowing red eyes looked beyond Naruto's mask and into his eyes. It then spoke in a low, raspy, but distinctly feminine voice.

"So, you are the new holder of the Raven Summoning Contract. Hopefully you'll live longer than the last few."

Naruto rose an eyebrow. 'Anyone in there got any ideas as to what's going on here?'

Nightmare answered. _"The Soul Edge takes one trait that it deems interesting or useful from every wielder, and passes it down to the next. The last guy was pretty unremarkable, slightly above average, but nothing special at all. He was, however, the only person on the planet with the summoning contract for Ravens. No one else was dumb enough to take it, I would guess. Anyone who has had it in the past had died shortly after gaining it, so not many are even willing to get close to it, let alone pick it up and sign it._

_The Ravens are a very special class of summons. They have abilities far beyond that of most others. Many people believe that the raven is a messenger of death, and a guide to the Spirit Realm. They are correct in this belief. The Death God uses these birds to collect souls, as he rarely does it himself unless he is summoned to do so, or he finds the being who has died worthy of his personal attention."_

Naruto came back to the land of the living and found the raven staring at him with its eyes narrowed.

"...You have more than one soul inside of you." it looked at the sword in Naruto's other hand. "And that sword possesses hundreds of thousands, maybe even millions of souls. It is the legendary Soul Edge, is it not?"

Naruto nodded. "Yes, and I am its master."

The bird cocked its head to the side. "Don't you mean its _new_ master?"

"No. This blade has never had a master, a true one that is. It's had many wielders, and many slaves, but never a real master. I have defeated the spirit of the Soul Edge itself, and I have gained its power. It is also how I have gained the Summoning Contract for your clan."

The raven nodded. "Well then, I'll go and tell my father and we'll make this official. My name is Kurohane, the youngest daughter of Lord Garandou, the head of the Raven Clan. Who shall I tell him is the new summoner?"

"Uzu...No...Namikaze Naruto."

The raven nodded. "Until we meet again, Namikaze." Kurohane took off into the night sky.

That was when Naruto finally noticed that the sun was no longer in the sky. "How long was I out?"

_"How long were you fighting me?"_

"About twenty minutes."

_"The world of the Soul Edge, unless I deem it otherwise, time actually passes slower in there than in the physical plane. So those twenty minutes were closer to twelve hours. This is why the few that have fought me have died before I could kill them. I may have only been toying with them for a few hours, but it had been weeks in the outside world, and their bodies died of starvation, or they were killed by other outside forces, like animals."_

Kyuubi suddenly spoke up. **"Kit, someone is watching you, someone very powerful."**

Naruto gripped the hilt of his sword tighter and discreetly looked around. 'Can you tell where they are?'

**"Not his exact location, but I do know that he is a high level demon. He is way beyond your level, so I think leaving would be the best option right now."**

Naruto nodded mentally and sheathed the Soul Edge, which had taken the appearance of the Black Soul once again, then walked out of the clearing.

After he left and humanoid figure clad in a full body cloak with a hood appeared a few feet from where Naruto had stood. (4)

The figure chuckled. _**"The halfling is getting stronger and stronger. The Master will be pleased by this turn of events."**_ the figure then disappeared without a trace.

(?)

The figure from the clearing appeared inside some sort of cave. It kneeled in front of a giant stone slab with massive chains and celestial runes binding it.

_**"Master, you will be pleased to know that the young halfling has obtained the Soul Edge, and has defeated Nightmare. He has also gained the summoning contract for the Death God's pet birds."**_

The stone slab suddenly pulsed crimson and the runes grew brighter. A deep, rumbling voice rang out and echoed throughout the cave. It was the voice of pure evil.

_**"So, the halfling has surpassed even my expectations. I didn't think he would even fight it this soon, let alone defeat Nightmare himself. Now do you see why I chose him, Shizaru?"**_

_**"Yes, Master. He is indeed very powerful for one still so young, and half human."**_

_**"What have I told you about underestimating humans? Just look at what happened to that fox bitch, Kyuubi."**_

_**"I remember, but she never was any match for you."**_

_**"No, but in a few thousand more years she would have nearly been at my level of power. In fact, my status was the only thing that would have kept her from trying to overthrow me as the Ruler of Hell."**_

_**"I see. So, what shall I do?"**_

_**"You shall do nothing but observe for the time being. Wait until he is strong enough to handle what I have in store for him. Do not wait too long though, because once he absorbs Kyuubi's power, he may be too powerful for my purposes. And most importantly; too strong to destroy."**_

_**"Yes, Master. If I may be so bold, Master, has your...condition improved?"**_

_**"Yes, these damnedable runes are weakening, and these chains can be broken once the runes are gone. Soon I will be free, but I will need time to regain my full strength. But my current power will be more than enough for that pitiful demon that had the gall to take my throne."**_

_**"I understand. What are your plans for the others?"**_

_**"They will be around. I'm making plans based on what I am told by you, after all. The pyromaniac has been itching for a fight ever since the Soul Edge reawakened, and I have instructed him to enter a tournament called the '**__**Chūnin**__** Exams' under the guise of a shinobi. He will test the power of the new master of the Soul Edge. "**_

_**"I will alert The Seven, just in case something...unforeseen comes up."**_

_**"Very well. If you have no more to report, you are dismissed. But be warned, my...siblings will do everything in their power to stop my plans. And brother Death has already shown that he has sided with the others and is firmly against my cause. They may very well send their Champions after you and the others, so watch out for them."**_

_**"Yes, Master Arcarian." **_Shizaru sank into his shadow and disappeared.

_**"Soon, Namikaze...Soon you will serve me, just as your clan did before your father."**_

(Tazuna's Home)

Naruto walked into the door and saw that everyone was having dinner.

Sakura saw him first and pointed at him. "What the hell took you so long?!" she shouted.

Kiriko and Chigusa had similar, but more pleasant reactions to Naruto's return. They launched themselves at their new brother and hugged him fiercely.

"Nii-chama, we were worried about you! You've been gone all day!" Kiriko pouted childishly.

Chigusa giggled. "Don't tease Uzumaki-sama like that."

Naruto looked at Chigusa. "What did I say about that?"

"You said it was just for show. And as long as there are other people here, we're still putting on a show." Chigusa whispered.

Naruto nodded. "Very well. But my surname is no longer Uzumaki, I will now be known as Namikaze Naruto."

The twins nodded and let go of Naruto. "Will you be joining us for dinner?"

Naruto looked at the food on the table. He never did catch anything while he was out, and his body had been laying on the ground for nearly twelve hours, so he was starving.

"I guess I will." he took a seat between his new sisters.

Before he ate he muttered a little prayer of thanks, then picked up his chopsticks. He knew that everyone's eyes were on him, wanting to know what was under the mask.

Kiriko, Chigusa, Sasuke, Sakura, Tazuna, and Tsunami all had their eyes trained on Naruto. They all wanted to know what he really looked like, but he never took off his mask.

'Come on, he has to take it off to eat!' they all thought.

Naruto was silently figuring out a way to avoid having his face be seen. There were four too many females present, and a boy whose sexuality was...questionable at best.

Just then Inari came down the stairs and looked at everyone around the table, and they returned the look.

"Why...?" he mumbled.

Sakura rose an eyebrow. "Why what?"

Inari's eyes started tearing up, he let out a choked sob and ran back upstairs.

Inari had served as a proper distraction for Naruto, and by the time everyone heard his content sigh he was already adjusting his mask.

'DAMMIT!' they all thought.

Tsunami sighed and made a plate for her son. "I guess he'll be eating in his room tonight. If you'll excuse me." she got up from the table and went after Inari.

Naruto noticed that the boy had looked at him, or rather behind him, before he took off. He turned around and saw a picture of a tall fisherman with black hair and a scar over his right eye. He was smiling and had his right arm around Tsunami's waist, and his left was holding a beaming Inari on his shoulder. (5)

Naruto turned to Tazuna and pointed at the photo. "His father, I presume?"

Tazuna sighed heavily. "That's Kaiza. He wasn't Inari's real father, but he might as well have been. He was just a fisherman passing through when he accidently hooked Inari and saved him from drowning. After that Kaiza met my daughter and they instantly hit it off. They married a couple months after that, which was also when Gato took over. Kaiza and a few others tried to stand against him, but they were all killed by his thugs. Kaiza himself was beaten almost to death, then had his arms cut off. He was tied to a wooden cross in the center of the village, then executed as an example of what happens when you oppose Gato. Me, Tsunami, and Inari were forced to watch his execution, and after that day the boy was never the same."

Everyone had different reactions to Tazuna's story; Sakura looked sad and angry at the same time; Sasuke tried to seem uncaring, but anyone could tell that he was pissed; Chigusa and Kiriko looked like someone had just killed their puppy, and they wanted revenge; and Naruto just nodded, though he didn't really care.

Suddenly Naruto was assaulted by flashes of past memories. He saw hundreds of villagers and shinobi grinning sadistically and cheering for his death. He saw himself being stabbed and beaten while tied to a pole. Then he saw a man with jet black hair and eyes step out of the crowd. The man's eyes morphed into a complete, three-tomoe Sharingan and he flashed through handseals, then blew out a stream of fire.

Naruto shook his head violently to clear the images, which everyone noticed.

"Are you alright, Naru-...Namikaze-sama?" Kiriko asked, remembering to act like a servant at the last second.

Naruto held his head. "I'm...fine." he needed a way to take his mind off of things, and since there was nothing to kill, he needed to pull a prank. He saw Tsunami come back downstairs. "Excuse me, Tsunami-san, has Hatake-sensei eaten yet?"

Tsunami's eyes widened, then she rubbed the back of her head sheepishly. "I...uhh...kinda forgot about him..."

Everyone but Naruto facefaulted, he just leaned to the side slightly.

"I see...I'll bring his food to him."

Tsunami nodded and made a plate for the absent Jōnin, then handed it to Naruto.

Sasuke suddenly yawned loudly and rubbed his eyes. "Why am I so tried all of a sudden?" he mumbled, then shrugged and excused himself from the table.

Naruto grinned behind his mask. While everyone was looking at Inari, he had crushed some sleeping pills and sprinkled them onto Sasuke's food. He had done the same with the food he was now bringing his incapacitated sensei.

Naruto knocked on the door. "Hatake-sensei, are you awake yet?"

"Yeah, you got food?" a weak, shaky voice came from inside the room.

"Yes. Everyone else is busy, so I had to bring up your plate." Naruto walked into the room to see a pitiful looking Kakashi laying on the bed.

"Yo." the Jōnin mumbled.

Naruto handed him the plate, which the man could barely hold. This almost made Naruto reconsider playing his prank.

"Hold on." he stopped Kakashi, then dashed downstairs and came back with a TV. tray. "Here, this may help." ...almost.

Then Sasuke came in and shoved Naruto to the side. "Out of the way, Henshu(freak), I need to sleep."

Naruto glared at the Uchiha. "Shujouteki-teme(roughly, "emo bastard")." Naruto replied.

Sasuke gave a weak attempt at a hiss, but did nothing else. He dropped to his bed face first and started snoring.

Naruto looked back at Kakashi and saw that he was already done eating and was also asleep.

'Better to wait until I'm certain the pills have taken effect.' he thought before leaving.

(Later That Night)

The door to Kakashi and Sasuke's room opened slowly, revealing the silhouette our favorite masked Super Genin. Naruto looked at both his human sensei and his teammate and smirked.

"So, those sleeping pills worked." he walked up next to Kakashi's bed. "You know something, _sensei_? Hachimo raised a good point;" he took out a kunai and a small can of hair gel, "you do need a haircut." the kunai gleamed in the moonlight coming in from the window.

After Naruto was done with Kakashi's new...hairstyle, he walked over to Sasuke. He took out a bottle of hair dye, a pair of rubber gloves, and two rubber bands.

Naruto grinned evilly behind his mask. "Now it's your turn, teme."

Everyone shivered in their sleep as sinister chuckles invaded their dreams and turned them into nightmares.

(In The Morning)

Sasuke awoke groggily at around eight-thirty in the morning. He yawned and scratched his head. If he hadn't have been so sleepy, he would have noticed that something was wrong.

The Uchiha shuffled out of his and Kakashi's room and walked into the bathroom for his morning piss. He never thought to look in the mirror and just went back to his room.

When he opened the door he saw his sensei up and reading his porn. He noticed something odd about the man and looked at his hair, then stifled his laughter.

Kakashi heard his student snickering and look up from his book. His eye nearly popped out of its socket when he saw Sasuke's new hairstyle and color. He dropped the smut and clapped both hands over his mouth, but it only made his amusement that much more obvious.

Sasuke looked at his sensei and rose an eyebrow. "What?"

Kakashi just pointed at Sasuke's head and fell off his bed, laughing openly.

Sasuke ran back into the bathroom and checked out his hair in the mirror.

Downstairs Tazuna was sipping his coffee while reading a newspaper, Tsunami was making breakfast, Inari had left earlier to spread his gloom to others, and Naruto was sitting at the table with Tazuna.

Naruto had been mentally counting down when he heard Sasuke's footsteps on the above floor.

'Three...Two...One.' just as he finished and bloodcurdling scream tore through the household and into the surrounding forest. Small animals scurried for cover and birds randomly took off into the sky.

Everyone stopped what they were doing, except for Naruto, who started to quietly laugh.

"Don't worry about that, I guess my teammate didn't like the..._present_ I left him." Naruto chuckled.

Tazuna just eyed the creepy boy before going back to his newspaper. Tsunami gave the ceiling one last glace before going back into the kitchen.

Sakura was already awake, as were Chigusa and Kiriko. She had been chatting with the twins when they heard Sasuke's scream.

"SASUKE-KUN!" Sakura hopped to her feet and rushed out the door to the girls' room.

She ran to the bathroom door and knocked on it frantically.

"What do you want?!" came Sasuke's distressed voice.

"Sasuke-kun? Are you hurt? Why did you scream?" Sakura asked.

"...Nothing's wrong...I'm...busy right now."

Sakura sighed in relief. "As long as you're okay."

"I'm fine, now go...somewhere...anywhere but where you are right now!"

A hurt look flitted across the girl's face, then she turned away from the door and walked back into the room she and the sisters had been given.

Before she went back in, Naruto arose from her shadow, but she didn't noticed and closed the door. Naruto looked at the bathroom door and shook his head.

'Prick.' he bashed the door a couple times. "If you want breakfast, move your ass." he turned and left.

"Go away, creep!" Sasuke shouted.

Naruto just scoffed and went into the room that Kakashi was occupying.

Kakashi was still giggling like a little girl, but his book was discarded on the bed, while he was on the floor holding his sides.

The Jōnin looked up at Naruto. "Hahaha!...Did you...see? It was...Sasuke, hahaha!" Kakashi had no chance of making complete sentences in his current state.

Naruto nodded. "Yeah, I saw the pixy."

Naruto's remark sent Kakashi into another bout of hysterics. He started rolling on the floor, crying and laughing at the same time.

"Can't...breathe...Hahaha!" Kakashi gasped in between laughs.

Naruto just stared. "...If you die...what do we tell Hokage-sama? We can't very well report that you died from laughter."

Kakashi's laughter died down to just a few giggles and he finally stood up. While he was on the floor Naruto had cast a high ANBU level Genjutsu on his hair, something that not even Kakashi could detect. After all, he didn't want Kakashi figuring out that he had played a prank on him too soon. The only reason he allowed Sasuke to see his new 'do was because there was no way to get that hair dye out for at least three weeks.

"So, what are we doing today? With the injuries I inflicted on Zabuza, he'll be out of commission for at least a week, maybe two. Until then, we have nothing to do." Naruto said.

Kakashi wiped a tear from his eye and snickered a bit more. "We'll be training to combat Zabuza and his lackeys."

Naruto just stared at Kakashi, then walked out of the room without a word.

Kakashi swayed on his feet after Naruto left. "Damn, I'm still feeling the effects from my fight." he sat on the bed and pulled a small scroll from one of his jacket pockets.

Kakashi used a kunai to cut his thumb and smeared the blood on the now unraveled scroll. There was a puff of smoke and a medical kit appeared in Kakashi's hands. He proceeded to patch himself up, using what he'd learned from Rin years ago. Having had one of the best medic-nins ever as a friend had many advantages.

Sasuke stepped out of the bathroom, acting like nothing had ever happened. But he was now wearing a dark blue bandana that completely covered his hair. He tucked some stray strands back under the bandana and walked downstairs, hoping that Kakashi had kept his mouth shut.

Sakura came out of her room to see her crush/obsession walking down the hallway wearing a blue bandana.

'WOW! Sasuke-kun's even cooler than before!' the girl thought with hearts in her eyes.

Chigusa and Kiriko just passed Sakura and looked at Sasuke's head. Only they noticed a couple strands of hair poking out under the bandana...Pink hair. The twins giggled and followed the boy downstairs, Sakura following closely behind. Said girl was glaring at the two women before her, she had seen Sasuke's other fangirls giggling like Chigusa and Kiriko, so she thought that they would try and steal her precious "Sasuke-kun".

'OVER MY DEAD BODY!' both Inner and Outer Sakura shouted mentally.

(One Hour Later)

After breakfast was over everyone went to do what they normally did. Tsunami cleaned the house, Inari went to go brood somewhere, and Tazuna watched TV. He didn't have to be at the bridge until around noon.

Naruto had gone with his team when Kakashi had told them they were to begin their training.

Chigusa and Kiriko had gone with Naruto, saying they had nothing better to do.

Kakashi led his team to a large clearing a mile away from the house.

"Alright, team. With the injuries Zabuza has sustained, we shouldn't have to worry about him for a week or two. So for that time I will be training you." Naruto scoffed, but Kakashi ignored it. "The first thing you will learn his how to climb trees."

Sasuke and Sakura sweatdropped, as did the twins, but for completely different reasons. Sasuke and Sakura sweatdropped because the training sounded lame, the sisters did because in Kirigakure you weren't allowed to pass the academy without being able to "climb" trees.

"Excuse me, Kakashi-sensei, tree climbing? That doesn't sound like it would be very useful for a ninja." Sakura said.

Naruto sighed. "You really shouldn't have called it 'climbing' trees." he turned to the nearest tree and walked to it, then walked straight up to the top branch, then hung upside down. "its proper name is 'tree _walking_'." he unstuck himself and landed on the ground without a sound.

Kakashi looked at Naruto. "...Very good Naruto. Do you know how to walk on wa-" he was cutoff by Naruto.

"I fought Zabuza on top of a lake."

Kakashi sighed. "Okay...Just how many exercises do you know?"

"I know surface clinging, water walking, kunai and senbon balancing, I know two more exercises that I am not willing to tell, and I'm currently working on waterfall running."

Kakashi's jaw damn near dropped, even he had trouble with senbon balancing, and he'd only heard of people running up waterfalls.

"Okay..." he looked a Chigusa and Kiriko. "What about you two?"

Both sisters scoffed. "I was a newly instated Jōnin before everything went to hell in Kiri. And my sister here was a Chūnin. Besides, in Kiri you aren't even allowed to graduate from the academy without being able to at least walk on any solid surface." Chigusa said.

Kakashi's eye widened. "Oh...I see...I guess you can go do...whatever it is you do, Naruto."

Naruto nodded, but instead of leaving he conjured up his throne thing and sat down in it. He looked for all the world like the King of Hell. He made two other slightly smaller and less intimidating chairs for his new servants/sisters.

Kakashi sweatdropped and tossed two kunai into the ground in front of his other two students.

"The key to this exercise is to focus just the right amount of chakra into the bottom of your feet, then use it to stick to the surface. Too little chakra and you'll fall, too much and you'll blow yourself off of the tree. Use these kunai to mark your maximum height." Kakashi then sat on a stump and pulled out his porn, this earned him death glares from Sakura, Kiriko, and Chigusa.

Sasuke and Sakura picked up their kunai and both ran at their designated trees. Sasuke planted his foot into the tree, splintering the wood, and ran up the tree trunk. But he only made it about five feet before he had to jump off.

Kakashi didn't even look up from his book. "You didn't use enough chakra, Sasuke."

Sasuke growled and was about to try again, but a voice from above stopped him.

"Look, Sasuke-kun, I did it!" Sakura squealed happily while sitting on the top branch of her tree.

"Good job Sakura! You have excellent chakra control." Kakashi eye-smiled.

"That's only because her reserves are so small, she doesn't have that much to control. So the only reason she could do this is because she's weak." Naruto said, there was no way in hell he was going to let some mediocre "accomplishment" go to the girl's head.

Sakura nearly fell out of the tree. "SHUT UP, NARUTO! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU KNOW?!" she screamed.

"I know that my chakra reserves are larger than everyone it this clearing combined. I know that you come from a family that has no shinobi it its ranks, which is why your chakra levels are so low. I know that you have never truly trained. I know that you rely on your book-smarts to get you through, and even then you aren't as smart as many. And I know that you will be a liability to this team in the future if you don't get your act together. And liabilities are to be..._dealt with_." Naruto said coldly.

Sakura was on the verge of tears now. She knew it was all true, but she just didn't want to accept it.

Kakashi snapped his book shut and glared at Naruto. "Naruto, that's enough! You have gone too far this time!"

Naruto glared at Kakashi. "Stuff it, Hatake. You should be the one telling her this, so I'm doing your job for you. I just don't sugarcoat anything...ever. I'm only telling her what she needs to hear, but doesn't want to."

"No, you're not! You're just wearing down her confidence! I wonder why though, maybe to build yours up?" Kakashi smirked.

Naruto snorted. "Why would I need to build my confidence up? I'm stronger than all of you by far, so my confidence doesn't need any boosting."

Kakashi narrowed his eye. "Then maybe it needs a reduction."

"And who's going to do that? You? The 'great' Kakashi Hatake, the one-eyed wonder? You could barely even beat my clones, so what makes you think you can beat me now?" Naruto rose from his chair. "But if you want to try it, come on. I'll let you experience what I did six years ago! I'll make you feel my pain! Ninja Art: Flame of Zarathos!" Naruto launched a huge white fireball at the injured Jōnin.

Everyone in the clearing watch in shock and horror as the burning sphere came closer and closer to Kakashi.

Naruto's eyes widened behind his mask as he came to his senses. He waved his hand and the fireball jerked to the left and exploded, destroying at least twenty trees and whatever else was in them. Naruto waved his hand again and the fires extinguished themselves.

"You are seriously trying my patience, Hatake. You want me to stop putting Haruno-san down? Then do your job and teach her something."

Kakashi narrowed his eye. "You're her teammate, so you should be helping me in training anyway."

"My training would kill her." Naruto turned to leave. "I will take my leave now. If I stay any longer, one of you will die." with that the masked Genin left the clearing, his servants in tow.

XXXX

And Chapter ten is done!

I would reveal Kakashi and Sasuke's new hairstyles, but I thought of something that would make the whole situation a lot funnier.

In the last chapter I missed a few girls, so here they are:

Yugito - Definite consideration.

Kin - Maybe?

Ino - Never.

Sakura - I'd sooner send Naruto to Hell.

Ayame - Maybe, but I'll have to make her learn to defend herself.

Rin - I have plans other plans for her, so no go there.

Shizune - Pretty much has the same role as Tsunade, except she's the good big sister.

Konan(the previously unnamed female member of Akatsuki) - I just found out about her name in the most recent manga, her profile wasn't there when my friend hacked in. This led me to believe that she is either an already existing character and already had a profile under a different name, or she wasn't even a character at the time and has only been recently created by Masashi Kishimoto.

Male Characters Turned Female - Hell to the no! I'm only doing that with Haku because IT looked, sounded, dressed and acted like a girl.

Nibi no Nekotama The Two-Tailed Cat Demon - The demon that resides within Yugito Nii. If her vessel is in the harem, then of course the cat herself gets in on the action! But only IF.

Tsunami - No, mainly because of Inari. And the fact that she, like Ayame, is a civilian with no proper training at all.

Tsume Inuzuka - Kiba's mom...I think not. How would you feel if your new stepfather was only a couple months older than you?

Sakura's Mom - I haven't even seen her before, and once again no profile from the hacking. Besides, from what happened to Naruto in the past, if he even lays eyes on her he'll go berserk.

Yoshino Nara - Shikamaru's mother, same thing as Tsume, and she's married to boot!

Koyuki Kazahana(A.K.A. Yukie Fujikaze) - Daughter of the Daimyo of the land of Snow. She's commonly referred to as "Princess Yukie/Yuki" in most fanfiction in which she appears. She is a maybe for the same reason as Ayame.

There may be someone I missed, but I'm tired right now, so I don't really care.

(1) Nightmare's blade is now the one he has in Soul Calibur 3, the "Incomplete" version.

(2) I know that's not the real name of that sword, but it has a nice ring to it, so I used it.

(3) The way the votes were going, I thought I would have to make Zabuza a heartless bastard. But then he would have no real reason to live and go to Konoha. So I decided to give Naruto a use for him. But the votes turned out different, but the idea stayed.

(4) Think Organization XIII, but completely black.

(5) I forgot what he looked like other than what's written here, so it may not be accurate at all.

It's sleep time for me now, so until the next chapter...

Jason Out!


	11. Quoth The Raven

Chapter eleven!

I don't really have much to say for this chapter, so...

XXXX

(Later)

Naruto stopped walking and turned to Chigusa and Kiriko. "Alright then, it's time for proper introductions."

Both sisters blinked. "What?"

"Tell me your likes, dislikes, hobbies, dreams, your skills, and your weaknesses."

"Shouldn't you go first?" Kiriko asked.

Naruto sighed. "Very well. I like almost nothing. I dislike almost everything. I have no hobbies. My skills are mastery over the three elements carved into my mask, otherwise a few too many to list right now. I have no known weaknesses."

The twins sweatdropped. "Okay. I like my sister and training, I dislike perverts and assholes, my hobbies include reading and sparring. My skills lay with weapons and my family's Taijutsu style, though I'm not as good as my sister in that field. But I have relatively small chakra reserves, and Genjutsu will completely mess me up." Chigusa said.

"I like my sister and training, I also dislike perverts and jackasses, my hobbies include sparring, hanging out with friends, and gardening. My skills lay in my ninjatō and my families Blood Fist style. My weaknesses are my small chakra reserves, my lack of Ninjutsu and Genjutsu, and my...fangirlish tendencies." Kiriko blushed at the last part.

Naruto rose an eyebrow. "'Fangirlish tendencies'?"

"She's completely boy-crazy. And she's one of the biggest female perverts I've ever met; she uses the Blood Eye to see under guys' clothes all the time." Chigusa grinned evilly at her sister, who just blushed and sputtered nonsense.

Naruto subconsciously pulled his cloak tighter around his body.

Kiriko noticed this and let something slip. "Aww, don't do that! Now I can't see anything!" she instantly slapped her hands over her mouth.

Chigusa fell to the ground holding her sides in laughter, and Naruto just inched away and stared at Kiriko.

Kiriko looked at her sister angrily. "Oh yeah, well what was your first question after I told you I checked Naruto-kun out? You came straight out and asked me how big _it_ was!" she shouted.

Chigusa stopped laughing and looked at Naruto and grinned sheepishly. "Um..."

Naruto looked back and forth between the two women. "...Why are all the women I know perverts?" he mumbled.

**"Hinata's not a pervert, at least not a public one."** Kyuubi said.

'She's also not a woman.' Naruto argued, not knowing what he just walked into.

**"Not until you make her one."** Kyuubi grinned.

(In Konoha)

Hinata suddenly shivered and moaned loudly as her knees gave out and she fell to the ground. Anko rushed to her student's side.

"What's wrong, Hinata?"

Hinata just shuddered and moaned again. Then Anko noticed that the girl was hugging herself, blushing madly, and grinning like she just got laid. Then she noticed the smell.

"Did you just..." she didn't know how to put it so that the Hyūgas wouldn't be pissed at her for taking their heir's innocence.

Hinata looked up at her sensei. "Orgasm? Yes, I did, but I don't know why though." she tried to get back up, but her legs didn't feel like it, so she had to stay on the ground.

Anko scratched her head. "Well...that's pretty freaky."

Hinata just nodded, then she suddenly became paranoid. "Where's Naruto-kun?" she asked frantically.

Anko just rose an eyebrow. "He's on a C-class escort mission in Nami no Kuni. Why, is something wrong?"

Hinata gained a look of fear. "Who is he escorting?"

Anko shrugged. "Some old fart, what the hell is wrong with you?"

Hinata hugged herself again. "Someone else is trying to get Naruto-kun for themselves, I can feel it."

Anko grinned, she could use this to her advantage. "Well then, I guess you'll just have to train harder and show Naru-chan that you are the best."

Hinata was instantly on her feet in the Gentle Fist stance. "Let's go." she beckoned.

Anko's grin widened and she took out an elongated kunai. "Fun time."

(Back With Naruto)

'Dammit, I walked right into that one!' Naruto thought.

"I doubt we're here for simple introductions, so what do you want with us?" Chigusa asked.

"I just want to evaluate your skill levels to see what rank you should be given in Konoha." Naruto tossed his cloak onto a tree branch and stepped into the center of the clearing.

Naruto was wearing his normal attire. Consisting of slightly baggy black pants; steel-toed combat boots; and a black t-shirt under an armored, ANBU-esque vest. His arms were bare except for his vambraces, which both had a snarling crimson fox head etched into them, and his fingerless gloves. Naruto elongated his fingernails into claws and dropped into his Phantom Devil stance.

Both Kiriko and Chigusa were about to drop their weapons, but Naruto stopped them.

"Keep your weapons, this will not be some simple spar. There will be a LOT of pain involved, mostly for you two. So use anything you can to your advantage, like every good ninja should."

"But you aren't using your sword." Kiriko said.

"I don't plan on killing you. But that won't mean I'll be going easy on you, so come at me as if your life was on the line."

Chigusa was about to question Naruto, but from what Zabuza was spouting off back at the hideout, plus the fact that he couldn't move, she was certain Naruto could take both her and Kiriko down without a second thought.

The sisters exchanged looks, then Chigusa tossed a throwing knife at Naruto and Kiriko whipped out her ninjatō and charged.

Naruto caught the knife and used it to block Kiriko's slashes. "I know you can do better than this." Naruto taunted.

Chigusa smirked and made some handseals. "Hiding Mist Technique." she muttered as the clearing was covered in a thick blanket of fog.

Naruto looked at Kiriko and saw the blood vessels around her eyes bulge out, similar to the Hyūga's Byakugan. But the similarities ended there. Within the eyes themselves, blood vessels ruptured until the entire sclera turned crimson. She grinned wickedly, then jumped backwards into the mist.

Chigusa was about to do the Voice Displacement technique when Naruto's voice came from beside her.

"You should know..." Chigusa whipped around, but Naruto was gone, "that the Hiding Mist Technique..." Chigusa reacted too late once again, "is rendered all but useless..." the woman threw a knife in the direction of Naruto's voice, but hit nothing, "when you're opponent doesn't need to rely on sight." the boy's voice came from directly behind Chigusa, she could even feel his breath on the back of her neck.

Naruto rose an eyebrow then shoved his clawed hand into Chigusa's back and through her chest, but instead of blood, water spilled out and she turned into a puddle.

"Water Clone. Clever..." he blocked a strike from Kiriko's ninjatō with his vambrace, "but not good enough." he grabbed Kiriko's arm with blinding speed and tossed her into her sister, who was circling Naruto and looking for an opening.

Chigusa's eyes widened when she saw Naruto block her sister's attack, and widened even more when he threw Kiriko at her. Then even more when she saw the knife she had thrown earlier coming towards her at very high speeds. Chigusa caught her sister and jumped out of the way of the projectile.

'Hmm...I'm a little too fast. I need to increase my weights.' he increased the weight of the Biosuit by another one-hundred pounds on his limbs and two-hundred on his torso. "I'm waiting, girls." Naruto taunted.

Kiriko looked at her sister and nodded, then stepped into the mist while Chigusa waited for her chance to attack.

Naruto turned to see Kiriko step into the mist, her Blood Eye activated as she leveled an intense glare on him.

Naruto smirked. "I suppose this will be a close quarters battle, eh?" Kiriko just narrowed her eyes. "I take that as a yes. Alright then, let us begin."

At those words Kiriko charged, and Naruto raised an eyebrow at her speed. Low Jōnin and least, yet she said she had only been a Chūnin in Mist.

Kiriko blurred out of sight for a second, then appeared right in front of Naruto with a palm strike aimed at the aorta. She was shocked when her hand went right through him and he slowly faded away.

"What the-!" she didn't get to finish before a boot planted itself in the small of her back and she was flung forward.

"Afterimage." Naruto said simply.

Chigusa's eyes widened when she heard that. "An afterimage? How fast was he moving?"

"Different kind of afterimage, made by using a chakra imprint of yourself." Naruto's monotonous voice said from behind the older woman.

Chigusa whirled around, but found nothing. Then she heard Naruto's voice behind her again.

"Speaking of speed, I can see we'll have to work on yours." Naruto swept Chigusa's feet out from under her with a low kick, then jumped back to Kiriko. "And you..." he walked over to the girl on the ground. "need to learn how to make less obvious traps." he blocked a strike from the real Kiriko with an uncovered part of his arm as the one on the ground dissolved into water.

Kiriko only smirked and jumped away from Naruto, narrowly dodging a roundhouse kick.

Naruto noticed his arm was giving off a mild stinging sensation where he had blocked. He looked at it and saw that the area was turning a bit purple, but that was rapidly fading.

Kiriko saw this and backed away. "H-how? That hit should've closed a vein in your arm, or at least caused a blood clot!"

Naruto smirked. "My powers allow me to heal from almost any injury. And blood clots are caused by blood platelets sticking together, mine don't. At least, not when there's no need to." he shook his arm a bit. "It just stings a little, but I'm fine...unfortunately for you two." with that Naruto vanished from their sight.

"Shit, where'd he go this time?" Chigusa cursed to herself.

The mist started to get thicker and thicker. Eventually it became so dense that the Orasu sisters couldn't see through it. Naruto's voice then rang out from all directions.

"Another unfortunate fact for you two is that I also know the Hiding Mist Technique. And with my immense chakra reserves, I can make the mist so thick that not even the strongest of the Hyūga can see through it." the weird thing about his voice was it wasn't like one voice simply echoing, it was like hundreds of voices all around them.

Naruto suddenly stepped into the mist so they could see him. They were about to attack, but more silhouettes could be seen behind him. One by one, a hundred Narutos stepped into the clearing. Coming through the mist like an army of the undead, the effect made all the more terrifying by their slow, methodical movements.

Soon the twins were completely surrounded, with no hope of escaping.

The sisters looked at each other, then dropped their weapons and held their hands up. "We yield."

One Naruto stepped out of the crowd. "Good. Most people would say to never give up, even in the face of impossible odds...But I'm not most people, and any good shinobi knows when to retreat. But, if you had activated your bloodlines, you would have seen that these were just normal Clones, not even solid." Naruto stuck his hand through one clone's chest and it went right through.

Chigusa and Kiriko just stared unbelievingly. "We were fooled..."

"By a simple academy-level trick?"

Naruto shrugged. "Not really, as no academy student would be able to create this many clones. Even if they are the lowest level of clones."

"But I only see about a hundred of them. Anyone with at least low Chūnin reserves could do that." Kiriko said. (1)

Naruto smirked. "That's only the ones you can see. There are about a thousand more outside of the mist, some of which are Shadow, Water, Mud, and Darkness clones. You'd never know which was which unless you activated your bloodline or one hit you."

The twins stared at Naruto, bug-eyed. "Just how many clone techniques do you know?" Chigusa asked.

Naruto shrugged. "Darkness, Water, Shadow, Mud, Rock, Normal, and that's about it. I really see no point in Blood Clones, but I may learn it later. And, believe it or not, there is a such thing as an Air Clone. I can't do it, but the technique does exist."

The twins nodded. "Now for your evaluations." Naruto said, then pointed to Kiriko. "You are the best at close combat between the two of you. Your speed and precision are excellent, and your strikes have a lot of power behind them. But, as you said before, you need to work on enlarging your chakra reserves. You also rely too much on your sister covering you while you attack. I'd say you're mid, maybe even high Chūnin level."

Naruto pointed at Chigusa. "You are a ranged specialist. My guess it that you lack the physical strength your sister possesses, and you're significantly slower than her. But, you actually had a plan for fighting me, while Kiriko just relied on you and charged in. This leads me to believe that you are also the strategist. Your chakra reserves are a bit larger than your sister's, but not by much. Your problem is that you can be easily outpaced by your opponents, and you don't have much going for you once they get in close. All in all, I'd say you're low Chūnin level as far as physical capabilities go, but you've got the intelligence to compensate for it. You two have focused mainly on countering the other's weakness. But you need to learn how to match your strength, so you can at least have the option of attacking the same way at the same time when you need to. That is how my clones and I work together, we fight as one entity, but we can break apart and do our own things as well. This creates unpredictability, which creates disorientation, which creates openings. Do you see what I mean?"

The sisters nodded. "Yes, we have to learn to work both as a cohesive unit and as individuals. We need to be in sync with each other in every way, but also be able to fight on our own with no problems." Chigusa said.

Naruto nodded, then called his cloak to him and turned to leave. "I'll leave you two to train, I have things to do and places to be." he started walking again, but stopped. "Oh, before I forget, your elemental alignments are Water and Wind for Chigusa-san, and Water and Lightning for Kiriko-san. Prepare yourselves, for there will be another _evaluation_ one week from now." then Naruto sank into the shadows of the trees.

Chigusa and Kiriko looked at each other. "Okay..." Kiriko said.

"Let's just train. Maybe we can catch him off guard next time." Chigusa said, then looked around.

It was only then that she noticed that all the clones were gone, and neither of them had heard or seen them dispel.

(In The Shadow Realm)

Naruto appeared in his place in the Shadow Realm. He was in a huge clearing in the middle of a completely dead forest. The trees were shriveled, blackened and barren. The branches were like sharp claws, ready to tear into anything that got too close.

There was no grass, just grey, ash-like dirt. The sky above was eternally dark, the only light coming from the pale moon and the random bolts of lightning that flew between the clouds. Quite often the deadly streaks would strike random, and sometimes not so random, objects. Blowing them up or setting them on fire.

In the background of it all was a massive mountain, which the clouds seemed to be swirling around the peak. However, anyone who looked close enough could tell that the mountain was actually a castle of sorts. Small specks of yellow light could be seen dotting the mountainside randomly. These were in fact windows.

This massive castle, named the Chuushin no Yami(Heart of Darkness), was where Naruto lived when he was in the Shadow Realm. He had found out months back that he could control just how slow time went in his personal Shadow Plane. He had made it so that time passed normally when he slept, but slowed down when he trained, or just screwed around blowing things up.

Naruto decided that this would be the perfect time to practice summoning.

He flashed through some seals and slammed his hands into the ground. "Summoning Technique!" a huge cloud of black smoke appeared and shot into the sky.

Naruto looked up and cocked his head to the side, wondering if he did something wrong. he was just about to try again when a raspy, but booming voice rang out.

**"Who has summoned the great Lord Garandou?" **an absolutely gigantic raven descended from the sky, like a corrupted phoenix.

The bird spotted Naruto and landed near him, kicking up a huge cloud of dust and making a miniature earthquake.

Naruto looked up at the raven, which stared back at him with its four glowing red eyes. The bird was around Kyuubi's size, maybe a bit bigger, with a wingspan of several hundred feet.

Lord Garandou stooped down to get a better look at the boy who apparently summoned him. He felt that something about the boy was definitely off.

**"Tell me, boy, why it is you have three souls inside of your body." **(2)

Naruto nodded. "I am the Jinchuuriki of Kyuubi no Kitsune, and the master of the Soul Edge. Kyuubi's would be one soul, and Nightmare would be the other."

The raven seemed to raise an eyebrow. **"So, you wield the soul blade as well? The last summoner of my clan also held that accursed sword. Tell me, what makes you so special that the sword would allow you to use it without consequence?"**

"I did not say I was merely a wielder; I am the _master_ of the Soul Edge. I defeated the spirit of the sword itself in combat, so its power now belongs solely to me."

Garandou narrowed both pairs of eyes. **"Interesting...You are also a half demon, are you not?" **Naruto nodded, **"I figured as much. Kyuubi would never allow herself to be contained in a vessel as...fragile as a human. I already know of you from my youngest daughter and my master, Shinigami-sama. Both of them seem to have taken a liking to you." **

There was another puff of black smoke and another, much, much smaller, raven appeared next to Garandou's head.

"DAAAD! WHY DID YOU HAVE TO SAY _THAT_ TO _HIM_?" Kurohane shrieked.

Garandou grinned, showing that he had many sharp teeth hidden by his beak. **"Why, what ever do you mean, my dear daughter?" **he said innocently.

"You know damn well what I'm talking about! You told Naruto-kun that I thought he was cute!" the small raven instantly stopped and fell onto her father's head.

Garandou laughed loudly. **"I said nothing of the sort, Kuro-hime. So why are you yelling at ME for something YOU said?"**

Kurohane glared at her dad. "You told him first!"

**"No, I just said that both you and the boss like him. That could have meant anything. The true meaning only came out because you said something."**

Kurohane just stared for a while, then finally seemed to remember that Naruto was in their presence.

Said ninja was severely sweatdropping, actually leaning to the side from the weight of a huge water droplet on the side of his head.

"Oh...Greeting Naruto-k..._Namikaze-san_..." Kurohane tried to save the last of her dignity.

Naruto's sweatdrop increased in size, causing him to lean even more. "...It's a little late for that."

Kurohane sighed. "I guess so...Anyway, you summoned my father, so I'd better go. Later Naruto-kun!" the raven disappeared in a puff of black smoke, but not before winking at Naruto.

Garandou snickered a little before looking around. **"Well, young one, I have many questions for you, but I guess the most prominent would be 'Why have you summoned me?' and 'Where are we?'"**

Naruto cocked his head to the side. "But you are a being of Darkness, so you should know that we are in the Shadow Realm."

Garandou's eyes widened. **"The Shadow Realm? Outside of my clan, there are very few beings than can travel between the boundaries. **

"I have a very strong Darkness affinity, but don't ask me how."

**"Hmm...I sense Fire and Wind as well. You are indeed an interesting one, Namikaze. Even moreso considering that your father had Wind, Water, and Light affinities."**

Naruto's eyebrow twitched. 'Does everyone know about my father?'

**"So, why have you summoned me?"**

"Your daughter said something about me having to pass a test." Naruto shrugged.

**"Ahh, so you think you're ready?" **the huge raven had a slight glint in his eyes.

This didn't go unnoticed my Naruto. 'What is he planning?' "Yes, I think I'm more than ready for anything you can throw at me."

Garandou laughed. **"Cocky, aren't we?"**

Naruto shrugged. "No, just confident."

**"For your sake, I hope that confidence is justified. We of the Raven Clan are part of the elite amongst our kind, and as such, we demand far more of potential summoners than the lesser clans. That said, you just might regret summoning me, as my test is particularly difficult."**

"I told you, I'm ready for anything."

**"Tell me, do you fear death?"**

"In no way, shape, or form. I used to pray for death long ago...I used to hope for it...wait for it, but it never came. But now, I have a reason to live."

**"Oh? And what is that?"**

"Kyuubi. I will not allow her to die just because I don't give a damn about my own life. Now let's get this over with, time moves much slower here, so we've got plenty of it."

**"I see. Are you prepared for the test?"**

"Just tell me what it is already!" Naruto was getting irritated at the question that he had answered two times already.

**"As you wish. You must keep your soul while I try to rip it from your body. Normally, I would have one of my sons do this, but...something tells me you are worthy of my personal attention. I will let you take this test only once more, should you fail this time. But be warned, if you fail the second, I will keep your soul. Do we have an agreement?"**

Naruto nodded. "Bring it."

Garandou seemed to smirk, as much as a bird could. **"Then let us begin."** he stared hard at Naruto and his eyes glowed a fierce crimson.

Naruto could feel his soul being brought to the surface, and he fought to keep it down. The pain alone would have been unbearable for most, but to Naruto it was like being burned alive. And since that had already happened to him once, it was no real problem for him.

Garandou cocked an "eyebrow". **"You have a very high tolerance for pain."**

Naruto looked up at him. "You...have no...idea." he said between pained grunts.

Veins bulged all throughout Naruto's body and his muscles tensed painfully, with some twitching violently and cramping up. Agony may have been nothing new to him, but this was a whole new type of pain. It felt like his body was trying to tear itself apart!

Thankfully, his natural defense mechanism kicked in and his brain stopped receiving signals from his nerves. But while the pain his body suffered disappeared, something else remained. Something that went beyond simple physical torment. Naruto held out for what seemed like days for him, but in fact it had only been two hours.

Garandou suddenly released his pull on Naruto's soul and let his body drop to the ground.

The raven panted slightly. **'Damn, nearly forty percent of my total power, yet he still held out for over two hours. Amazing.' **(3)

Garandou received the second shock of his life when Naruto pushed himself up, struggling to stand. He collapsed twice, but kept trying, and eventually made it back to his feet. He swayed dangerously, but didn't fall. He was slumped over and let his arms hang, his breathing was uneven and his muscles still showed signs of convulsions. But it didn't much matter. Not only had he survived, he was still conscious and standing under his own power.

Naruto seemed to stop breathing for a second, then snapped his head up and roared/screamed. A massive tower of purple chakra exploded from his body and into the dark sky. The clouds parted and swirled around the pillar and black lightning bolts crackled around it.

Garandou himself was in awe of the boy who had summoned him. **'Such power from a being so small...Incredible. I can see why he was chosen by Shinigami-sama and the others.'**

The tower suddenly split into three sections. One section formed into the head of a giant black fox. Another sprouted huge black wings, four red eyes, and a sharp serrated beak; it was a raven. The last bent and twisted into the form of a serpent, then sprouted wings, arms, and horns. The last figure was that of a dragon. The figures roared/shrieked, then dove back into Naruto's body.

Naruto's chakra then exploded outwards, creating a massive shockwave that even Garandou had to fly up to avoid. The shockwave decimated everything around Naruto, then surged back to him and he fell to his knees.

'What...the hell...was THAT?' Naruto asked.

**"Congratulations, Kit, you've just absorbed the fourth tail!" **Kyuubi said cheerfully.

'What? But I was only at two before.'

**"With all you've done lately, it's no wonder that you've skipped the third tail. You've fought a B-class human, an S-class demon, and held your own against the boss summon of the Raven Clan. Honestly, I would've been shocked if you hadn't the fourth."**

'I suppose so.' Naruto looked up at a now hovering Garandou. "I guess I passed your test, right?"

Garandou landed again. **"Yes, you passed with flying colors, boy. And if that little display just now is anything to go by, you may just be destined to hold the Raven Contract anyway."**

Naruto scoffed. "Screw destiny. I've busted my ass to get where I am, and I'm not about to let some imaginary cosmic force take credit for it."

Garandou laughed. **"Looks like you will get along with the rest of my kin just fine."**

"What do you mean?"

**"You think the same way most of us do. We have never liked the idea of everything we do in life being predetermined. Odd as it sounds, being messengers of death and collectors of souls has given us a great appreciation for life. We feel that things like destiny and fate cheapen life, for lack of a better term."**

"But doesn't the Shinigami control what you do?"

**"Hardly. We may be duty-bound to do as he says, but he can't make us do anything we truly don't want to. My children disobey his orders all the time."**

"And you're not afraid of him punishing them for it?"

**"He relies on me to punish them for insubordination. He is forbidden from directly interacting with anyone or anything from your world or the one we Summons reside in."**

"But the Shinigami revived me when I fought against Nightmare."

**"No, he just spoke to you. The fact that you healed, woke up, and continued to fight was all your own doing. From what I've been told, you've been telling people not to underestimate you your whole life, so why underestimating yourself?"**

Naruto chuckled. "You sound like Kyuu-chan right now."

Garandou chuckled as well. **"'Kyuu-chan'? The only person that has ever called her that and didn't get severely injured was Lord Ryokuhadou: the Dragon King. Well, Shukaku called her that once, but she turned his genitals to glass and shattered them."**

Naruto involuntarily cringed. Then Kyuubi shouted, **"Damn right I did! That bastard of a rodent dared to disrespect me? Not even Hachimata dared to call me 'Kyuu-chan'!"**

The Nightmare spoke up. _"Will you shut up? I'm trying to sleep here."_

**"What was that, Tin Can?" **Kyuubi snarled.

_"I said shut up. Are you deaf as well as dumb?"_ Nightmare retorted.

**"That does it! I'm going to find you, then I'm going to tear off your balls and make you eat them!"**

Nightmare merely snorted. _"I doubt you can do that, seeing as how you're still_ in _your _cage_."_

Kyuubi paused, Nightmare knew that Kyuubi was free of her cage, and that she wanted that fact hidden from Naruto at all costs.

**"...Damn you..."** Kyuubi hissed.

Nightmare only laughed. _"It's a little late for that."_

'Both of you, keep it down in there.' Naruto ordered.

The two demons within him just grumbled incoherently, but didn't say anything else.

"I can see this is going to cost me a lot of sleep." Naruto sighed.

**"You don't sleep, you wait."** Kyuubi said.

They were expecting Nightmare to say something, but the only response they got was a series of loud snores.

Naruto sweatdropped and looked up at Garandou. "So, I guess we're done here."

The huge bird nodded. **"That we are. Until our next meeting, Namikaze. And by the way, I love what you've done with the place." **Garandou flew into the sky and vanished.

Naruto waved his hand to disperse the grey dust that was kicked up by the raven's enormous wings.

"Sometimes I really love this mask." Naruto said. His mask naturally filtered all impurities in the air when he breathed.

**"Was that the only reason you came here?" **Kyuubi asked.

"...I need to find a waterfall." Naruto then took off to where he remembered putting one.

(Two Hours Later)

Naruto had just done something that he had never done in his life. He had just given up.

He had found his waterfall and tried to run up it. In the end, all he accomplished was getting himself soaked and pissed off.

"Why the hell can't I do it?" Naruto snarled to himself.

**"Maybe it's because a waterfall has no real surface; you're basically trying to cling to individual water droplets. To actually have a surface to adhere to, you'd have to make a chakra shield over the entire waterfall. But then there'd be no point in doing that because it would be like running up a wall, but with a LOT more chakra usage." **Kyuubi said.

Naruto nodded, but glared at the water fall nonetheless.

_"There is still much more for you to learn about the Soul Edge. Even if you are its new master, it will still destroy you if handled improperly."_ Nightmare said, having awakened from his nap.

"Can I train with it here?"

_"You can, but I wouldn't recommend it. The Soul Edge needs to feed on souls to recharge, and there are no souls on this plane of existence."_

"What about all the monsters that run rampant throughout this world?" Naruto asked as he watched a Putrid run down a Wallow.

_"No, these beasts are just physical manifestations of the Shadow Realm itself. They aren't really alive, so they have no souls. But they are good for other forms of training and anger management."_

**"Actually, Nightmare, some of the creatures in this world are alive and do have souls. But they are ridiculously strong and way above Naruto's current level."**

"Thanks for the vote of confidence." Naruto mumbled.

**"You know I'm right. Remember when you fought that Dreadwraith?"**

Naruto groaned, it was in a rare moment of arrogance and sheer stupidity that he had challenged one of the strongest Shadow Beasts.

"Did you have to bring that up again?"

_"Ohhh, what happened? Did he get is ass kicked? You gotta tell me!"_ Nightmare pleaded.

Kyuubi giggled. **"Oh, at the time it was terrifying, but now it's a complete riot! It was right after he started creating his own place in the Shadow Realm. Before that, he had gained the second tail and apparently thought that nothing in this world was strong enough to beat him. So. he went looking for the strongest being he could find. He eventually found a Putrid, or what looked like one at the time, and attacked it. But it was actually a Dreadwraith and it smacked him around like a rag doll for about five minutes straight before it got bored and went away. To this day I have no idea why it didn't dismember him. He got away with a few broken bones, some gashes, and a bruised ego, but otherwise he was fine. Now that he's gained the fourth tail, I have a feeling Naruto's going to hunt that thing down again."**

Naruto could hear Nightmare's roaring laughter in his head and he growled.

"When I get my hands on you two..." he continued grumbling until a sickly rasping voice came from behind him.

_"Well, well, well. If it isn't my old punching bag!" _Naruto turned to face the voice, but only saw a Putrid standing there. _"Oh come now, don't tell me you've forgotten the ass kicking I gave you not so long ago."_

Naruto's eyes narrowed. "You...You're that Dreadwraith." the "Putrid" nodded.

_"So you DO remember! How delightful, now I can finish what I started. I honestly can't remember why I left you alive. A lapse in judgment, perhaps, but I'll be correcting it shortly."_

The Dreadwraith held its clawed hand in front of its face and its obscenely long, spiked tongue slithered out and licked its claws. It then lunged at Naruto, intent on carving its name into every one of Naruto's internal organs.

Naruto just rose an eyebrow, then smirked behind his mask. The Dreadwraith was nowhere near as fast as it was when he first "fought" it.

The Genin blurred out of existence just before the Dreadwraith impacted and slammed its claws into the ground.

Naruto reappeared behind the monster. "You're too slow."

The Dreadwraith's grin split its rotting skin like a festering wound, complete with maggots.

_"So you think."_ the beast then vanished like Naruto had.

Naruto mentally cursed, he should have known the Dreadwraith would toy with him first. He unsheathed the Black Soul just in time to block a claw swipe from the disfigured lizard.

The Dreadwraith grinned again. _"Having trouble already? It's like you haven't improved at all!" _it brought its other hand up.

Naruto didn't even have time to move before the Dreadwraith's clawed hand plunged into his chest and through his right lung.

The monster smirked, then its eyes widened when Naruto grabbed its arm and kept it from moving.

Naruto looked into the creature's eyes and said one word, "Boom." then he exploded, sending the Dreadwraith sailing backwards.

The beast smashed into a tree and shattered the trunk, causing the tree to fall on it. Naruto rose from the ground and looked at the fallen monster.

"Ninja Art: Flame of Zarathos!" Naruto cupped his hands in front of him and a large, white fireball formed, then he tossed it at the Dreadwraith.

The fireball impacted and exploded, sending a huge wave of fire out for a hundred feet in every direction. The wave passed Naruto harmlessly, but completely destroyed a large chunk of the dead forest surrounding them. This resulted in Naruto and his opponent being surrounded by a ring of flames.

Suddenly a hellish wail rang out over the entire realm and a skeletal hand erupted from the pile of burning wood and ashes.

_"You...You have just made the biggest mistake...OF YOUR LIFE!" _the Dreadwraith exploded from the flaming pile and barreled into Naruto.

Naruto was knocked away by the force the monster put behind its strike, but he quickly got to his feet and glared at the specter, and it glared back. The Dreadwraith looked like a humanoid skeleton, but it was still about seven feet tall. It had jagged teeth, hollow eye sockets that glowed an eerie white, and the tips of its fingers were filed into claws.

It was surrounded by a ghostly green aura that vaguely resembled a demonic samurai, complete with armor and a translucent nodachi.

_"This is my true form, boy. Grotesque, isn't it? Heh, I almost pity you, child, for it will be the last thing you ever see." _the Dreadwraith held his hands to his sides and two green orbs appeared.

The orbs shot into the ground and made everything glow sickly green. Then monsters of all sizes and shapes appeared, from Putrids to Grals.

The monsters all hissed at Naruto and, obeying their master's command, attacked him all at once.

XXXX

Behold, I have added another part to my creation! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!

Grals and Razor Bats are from the movie Pitch Black, which is one of my favorites. I think they are actually called the Grue, but that was never really specified by anyone. They've been recently called Bioraptors.

(1) This may not be true, but the basic clone is so pathetic it should take about as much chakra as breathing.

(2) Remember, the souls that the Soul Edge consumed are inside of it, not Naruto.

(3) Just so you know, Garandou's base power level is about on par with the Seven-tailed Demon Lord.

Gorogons are humanoid monsters that take the appearance of samurai, and are master swordsmen. They even have a Code of Honor and will not strike down an unarmed opponent unless the situation calls for it. They are easily recognized by their black skin, glowing white eyes, their imposing stature, and their swords. Being very powerful as well as intelligent, Gorogons often hold high militant and social ranks.

Grals are large, two legged, flying beasts. They range in size from small, one foot long "larvae", to eight foot tall giants. These creatures only come out every ten years unless they are summoned, or provoked. They have two hand-like feet with four clawed fingers, and they have boney spears that shoot from their wrists. Their heads are shaped like massive axes, and are used as such. They are essentially blind and use echo location to find their way around. They are severely adverse to light and even the dimmest form of light will cause them third degree burns. Prolonged exposure will actually cause their skin to melt and their internal organs to combust. Grals are cannibalistic, and tend to be loners, but they can be found in flocks of thousands when they are still young. Grals have a subspecies called Razor Bats.

Razor Bats are close relatives of Grals, and as such there is no major difference between them other than size. Razor Bats remain the size of larval Grals all their lives, and travel in swarms sometimes numbering in the millions. "Affectionately" called "Flying Piranha", they completely overwhelm their prey with their insane numbers and tear them apart piece by piece until everything has been consumed. This entire process can take anywhere from five minutes to three seconds, depending on the size of their prey and the amount of Razor Bats feeding. It is their small size, enormous numbers, and their frequent hunts that make them the third most dangerous creature in the Shadow Realm.

A Dreadwraith is a spectral monster that can take on the appearance of almost any living creature. Only when they are severely wounded or angry will they reveal their true forms. In their true forms they are, for all intents and purposes, a ghost, and impossible to hit with normal weapons. These monsters do not know fear, sorrow, or pity. Dreadwraiths are actually one of the few creatures in the Shadow Realm with souls, as they are basically made up of a corrupted soul. A Dreadwraith's true form is determined by what they were when they were alive. They will take on a twisted and deformed version of their former selves, reflecting their anger and evil intentions. The Dread Dragon is a good example of this, as it was once a noble dragon that served as the peacekeeper of the Shadow Realm. Dreadwraiths keep the power that they had when they were alive, and can only get stronger with time and battles. No matter how much time passes, they will never weaken outside of battle or by natural means. This fact makes them one of the top five deadliest creatures of the Shadow Realm.

The Putrid are seven foot tall, bipedal undead lizards. They have razor sharp claws and fangs, even their scales(or what's left of them) can cause damage. They often hunt in packs of four to twelve, but rarely more than that. Despite their decomposing state, they are incredibly fast and agile. They also carry a disease that mutates whatever they wound, but don't kill, into another Putrid. This is what makes them one of the most common of the Shadow Realm monsters, and also one of the deadliest.

Wallows are like a cross between a flying fish and a barracuda, but can live on land and fly like birds. They range in size from little more than a foot long, up to ten feet in length. They may be carnivores themselves, but they are still a favorite food for many of the larger monsters, like the Putrid. On land, Wallows are solitary creatures, and are relatively slow when they grow larger. But in the water they move like greased lightning and always travel in packs ranging from fifteen, to three-hundred in number.

The Soul Edge will be called the Black Soul when it's in its untransformed state. So Odachi - Black Soul and Zanbatō - Soul Edge.

Anywho, I will be away from my computer for quite a while, so I won't be able to put up another chapter until mid to late October at best.

Sorry for this, but my family and friends have very hectic lives, which in turn makes my life hectic. My uncle called me up a couple days ago and said he needed my help building a house for some rich people, so I'll be in California for about a month. Hopefully not longer, nothing against Cali, but it's just too damn hot down there! Plus Hollywood ain't what it's cracked up to be, believe me.

I've been to Hollywood before, and let me tell you, it sucks! Everyone thinks Hollywood is great, and that makes them great for living there. So you have a bunch of rich snobs walking around like they own the place(and some of them do own parts of it), and suing people for petty shit. And you wouldn't believe how many lawyers are in that city, hell, in the whole state!

Okay, so my family is also pretty rich, but we don't act like that. We don't drive around in fancy cars that get ten miles to the gallon, but can go four hundred miles per hour. I mean seriously, when are you going to get the chance to really let loose with something like that? I drive a Chevy Avalanche, which I actually bought as a cheap lemon and fixed it up.

I'm ranting right now, so I'm gonna stop. But I'll leave you with this last bit of advice: if you go on vacation, don't go to Hollywood. There are much better places. But if you do, be careful not to do anything you even think you can be sued for.

And do not, I repeat: DO NOT yell/honk at people you see driving with cell phones. One reason is that they may take the one hand they do have on the steering wheel off of it and flip you off. They may think they're good enough drivers to do something like that, but on the road all that really matters are the people around you. You may be a good driver, but someone else might not be so good.

The second reason is that it's pointless, since seven out of ten people you see will have their cell phones out, and two of the three people you don't see with one have ear pieces.

Rant Done, Jason Out!


	12. Why Do I Feel This Way?

I have returned!

I'm back from my trip to California, and dead-fuckin'-tired! Not only am I stiffer than morning wood, I've got a severe case of Jet-Lag right now!

Anyway, since you've all been so patient, I've decided to give you a longer chapter than the normal 7000-8000 word average.

Enjoy!

XXXX

In response to the assault, Naruto made one-hundred reinforced Darkness Clones and sent them to intercept the Shadow Realm creatures. This drained Naruto of about a tails worth of chakra.

The Dreadwraith was also suffering the same fate, as his summons took around the same amount of chakra as Naruto's super-powered clones did.

The clearing was still surrounded by fire, which was rapidly spreading outwards, since Naruto didn't want to waste chakra by controlling the flames.

The half demon shinobi and the undead warrior closed the distance between them and began to battle it out in the middle of the war between the clones and the monsters.

Naruto stabbed directly at the Dreadwraith's head, but his blade was smacked aside by the creatures own. Naruto disappeared before the monster could counter and reappeared behind it.

The Dreadwraith felt the boy's presence and swung its nodachi around to stab him. But Naruto jumped over the blade and planted his feet into the top of the Dreadwraith's skull. Then he used the abused cranium as a springboard to put some distance between them.

The Dreadwraith grabbed its head and shrieked. _"HOW? You shouldn't be able to even touch me!"_

Naruto shrugged. "I can do a lot of things I'm not supposed to be able to." he sliced a Putrid that tried to sneak up on him.

The Dreadwraith took this as an opening and charged, a large green orb in its hand. It was planning on sucking the life right out of Naruto, painfully.

But the monster was moving in slow motion from Naruto's point of view, so he had more than enough time to avoid the attack. He jumped over the specter and did a series of front flips with his sword out, turning him into something like a giant shuriken. This resulted in the Dreadwraith's right arm falling to the ground and melting into sickly green slime, then disappearing.

The Dreadwraith wailed once again and clutched its shoulder, which was leaking a greenish-black fluid.

Naruto was about to move in for the kill when he heard loud screeches and fluttering sounds, like a shitload of bats flying around. He turned and saw a swarm of thousands of Razor Bats coming at him, hungry for his flesh.

He faced the hoard completely and relied on his remaining clones to hold the Dreadwraith off for a while.

"Dragon Destroyer Final Technique: Ten Thousand Blades!" Naruto unsheathed the Black Soul and began dicing the Razor Bats.

Hundreds upon hundreds of Razor Bats were killed in the span of mere milliseconds. (To get a good picture of that think of a swarm of bats flying into a giant fan.) Dark blue blood splattered everywhere, along with various Razor Bat body parts. Small wings, claws, and blade-like heads flew in all directions as Naruto continued to slaughter the creatures.

The Dreadwraith and the Darkness Clones stopped and watched in amazement as Naruto's sword moved faster than any of them could even hope to see. The Dreadwraith took this opportunity to break out of the clones' hold and lunge at Naruto.

Unfortunately for the monster, Naruto had done away with all the Razor Bats and still had two-hundred slashes before he hit ten thousand. Naruto changed directions and finished his attack. The only indication that he was even doing anything was the fact that his arm could no longer be seen and the random flashes of metal.

Naruto finished and jumped away just as the Dreadwraith made contact with the ground, making a rather large crater. The creature turned to Naruto and got ready to lunge again, then stopped suddenly. Paper thin cuts started to appear all over its body and thick green blood oozed from every one.

The Dreadwraith tried to speak, but only managed a gurgling choke as more slime bubbled up from its mouth. Its body fell to pieces and its head lay on top of the pile.

Naruto silently cursed himself for missing the thing's head when he attacked.

_"Y-you s-s-son of a b-bitch..." _the Dreadwraith cursed.

Naruto just walked up to the head and shrugged. "My mother probably was a bitch." he then stomped on the Dreadwraith's head, killing it.

Naruto sighed and looked at his right arm, which hung limply at his side. "I put too much strain on it."

Moving his arm at such high speeds so many times had caused the muscles in his arm to explode, thus making it useless. The wind resistance had actually ripped most of the skin off of his arm as well, but that was quickly healed over.

_"Congratulations, you've succeeded in making your arm absolutely useless. I guess that means no more masturbation for you for a while."_ Nightmare then broke into howling laughter.

Kyuubi blushed like she never had before, mainly because she was imagining Naruto masturbating.

Naruto just stiffened, then sighed heavily. "Great, now I have two sick perverts in my head...yay."

Nightmare's laughter abruptly stopped. _"...Please tell me you masturbate."_

Naruto shook his head. "No, I don't."

_"Please tell me he's joking."_ Nightmare went to Kyuubi, then growled. _"You're drooling, aren't you?"_

The sound of someone spitting then wiping their mouth was heard. **"No, why would you think I was drooling?"**

Naruto and Nightmare just sweatdropped. "Kyuu-chan, tell Nightmare-teme that I don't masturbate."

**"He doesn't...no matter how many times I tell him that everyone does it, he won't."**

If Nightmare's face could be seen, it would be twisted in abstract horror. _"You don't...What the hell are you?"_

"How did this conversation get started?" Naruto asked himself.

_"I don't believe it. You're telling me that you've never jerked off? Choked the chicken? Took out Palm-ela? Wrestled with the one-eyed snake? Tenderized the steak? Strangled the gecko? Beat your meat like it owed you money? Played with your lap rocket? Paid the piper? ANYTHING?"_

Naruto was pounding his head on a tree during Nightmare's rant. "Shut up, shut up, shut up..." he chanted, punctuating each word with another headbutt to the poor tree.

Kyuubi was rolling in her cage, her laughter ringing in Naruto's head.

Nightmare was still seething and grumbling about someone needing to get laid.

'That does it, I'm cutting the link with both of you. Until I decide otherwise you can only reach me in a situation of dire need.' Naruto told his two tenants.

_**"NO, WAIT-!"**_ Kyuubi and Nightmare were cutoff as Naruto closed the link.

"That should teach them to mind their own business." he mumbled. "I've been here for a few hours now, I suppose I should be getting back. Have to make sure none of the weaklings killed themselves."

Naruto held out his good arm and a black portal opened up in front of him. He walked through it and exited the Shadow Realm, but he didn't notice the pale green mist that followed him through.

(In The Normal World) (1)

Naruto stepped out of the shadow of a tree near Tazuna's house. He held his limp and useless arm as he walked towards the home. But once again he didn't notice the green mist float out of the same shadow and dart into the forest.

When Naruto walked into the door he saw that Tazuna was gone and Kakashi was sitting at the dinner table drinking tea with Tsunami.

Kakashi noticed his "student" and waved at him. "Yo Naruto, how'd your training go?"

Naruto knew it was just a polite way of saying "How many casualties?"

"No one died." he said simply. 'No humans, anyway.'

Kakashi's eyebrow twitched, then he looked at Naruto's arm. "What's wrong with your arm?"

Naruto looked at the appendage, then back at Kakashi. "Training mishap, it's no big deal." he nodded to Tsunami. "Tsunami-san."

Said woman nodded back and smiled. "Naruto-san."

Naruto turned to go up the stairs, but was stopped by Kakashi.

"Sakura is at the bridge, and Sasuke is still trying to climb his tree."

Naruto looked back at his "sensei". "And here I was hoping that they died...pity." he said sarcastically.

Kakashi's eyebrow twitched again. He had a feeling Naruto was being sarcastic, but with him you could never really tell unless he made it obvious. It was a very fine line between sarcastic Naruto and "normal" Naruto, though they were probably the same thing.

'I guess it's all a part of big "Naruto Personality Pie"...' Kakashi looked up from his tea and turned to Tsunami. "Do you know where we could get some pie?"

Tsunami just looked at the one-eyed Jōnin oddly.

Naruto just went upstairs and made himself a bed in the far corner by the window and collapsed on it. So far he had fought a C-class Kirigakure nuke-nin, an A-class nuke-nin, an S-class demon, two C-class kunoichi, summoned the boss of the Raven Clan, almost had his soul taken twice, came back from the dead, slaughtered nine-thousand-eight-hundred Razor Bats, and fought an A-class Dreadwraith. All of this without a wink of sleep, so he was, almost literally, dead tired.

'...And it's only been three days into the mission.' with that final thought Naruto drifted off into a dreamless sleep.

(With Sakura)

Sakura was bored out of her mind. She was sitting in a tree by the side of the bridge, watching Tazuna and his workers carry cement, wood, and bricks around. Not very entertaining in the least.

'...So...Bored...' Sakura began to nod off, but jolted awake when she felt herself falling.

While she was waiting for Tazuna to call it a day, Naruto's words rang out in her head.

_'That's only because her reserves are so small, she doesn't have that much to control. So the only reason she could do this is because she's weak.'_ and yet again. '_And I know that you will be a liability to this team in the future if you don't get your act together. And liabilities are to be...dealt with.'_

Sakura jumped from the tree and sat at the base, her face buried in her knees.

'Am I really as weak as he says?' she wondered.

She expected her inner self to start shouting encouragements, but her other was completely quiet. She knew Naruto was right, but she didn't want to accept it. She liked to believe that she was the best kunoichi in her class, but she also knew that wasn't really saying much. She also knew that the title of strongest kunoichi of her class most likely went to Hinata, even though the girl didn't show it.

The pink-haired girl then remembered what Naruto said about her being a medic-nin.

"When we get back to the village I'll have to find that Mirano guy." she whispered to herself and walked back up to her tree branch.

(With Sasuke)

Sasuke glared at the tree in front of him. The trunk was littered with small craters where his feet hit and splintered the wood.

'Why? Why can't I do this?' the Uchiha raged. 'The freak and the fangirl can do it, so why can't I? I'm an Uchiha, dammit, that fact alone should make me better than both of them!'

Sasuke backed up a bit to get a running start, then sped towards the tree. He planted his foot into the bark and ran up the tree as fast as he could. He only got to about fifty feet though, and slashed the bark with his kunai before falling.

He was about to try again, but a voice from behind stopped him.

"You aren't using enough chakra, Sasuke." said boy whirled around to see his sensei sitting on a stump watching him.

"Leave me alone, I can figure it out on my own." Sasuke growled, then turned back to the tree.

Kakashi sighed. "I'm just doing my job, don't bite my head off."

Sasuke just snorted and backed away for a running start again.

"That's your first problem. You're going too fast for a beginner, you need to take things slower. You're barely even molding chakra into your feet, your just putting dents into the wood for traction to launch yourself up the tree." Kakashi lazily looked up at Sasuke's highest mark. "But I must admit, running fifty feet vertically without using chakra is impressive."

Sasuke growled again and turned on his sensei. "What, exactly, do you want?"

Kakashi shrugged. "I just want to help you, that's all. You want to beat Naruto, don't you?" the Jōnin brought out the big guns.

Sasuke went ridged, there were only two names that could get him pissed off beyond all reason. And they were Itachi and Naruto.

"Are you telling me that you can help me beat him? But then I'd have to be stronger than you."

Kakashi did something he rarely ever did; he snorted. "That was a fluke. When I'm back to full health, I'll show that little punk why I'm one of the strongest ninjas in Konohagakure."

Sasuke smirked, he'd pay to see that. "So, are you gonna help me with this or what?"

Kakashi smiled. "I knew you'd come around sooner of later! Now then, the key to this exercise is to mold just the right amount of chakra into your feet. I know I've already told you this, but just listen. Just put your foot on the tree and mold chakra into it until you feel it stick. Then try to walk up the tree slowly. You'll fall the first couple of times, but eventually you'll get the feel for it. Once you master tree walking, then try running. After that I'll teach you how to walk on water, like Naruto and I can."

Sasuke smirked, then rose an eyebrow. "But what about Sakura?"

Kakashi's eye widened for a split second. "I...kinda forgot about her...But it's nothing, I'm sure she can grasp water walking just as she did tree walking." he then scratched his chin. "But I doubt she can actually run up and down a tree, so I'll have to see to that. I'll also have to work on her stamina and chakra reserves. Naruto was right when he said the main reason she could tree walk well was because of her weakness."

Sasuke just nodded and walked over to his tree and placed his foot on it. He molded chakra into his foot until he felt he could no longer dislodge it from the trunk. Then he placed his other foot on the trunk and did the same thing, using his other foot to maintain his grip. Once he was stuck securely he stood still for a minute, making sure he wouldn't slip. Then he place one foot in front of the other and started walking.

He walked very slowly at first, but once he passed his fifty foot mark he got bolder and broke into a jog until he reached the top. Where he twirled his kunai and cut the tip of the tree off, then casually walked back down.

Kakashi smiled and clapped for his student. "Very good, Sasuke. At this rate you'll beat Naruto in no time. I'm quite sure he's not nearly as strong as he makes himself out to be."

Sasuke nodded and ran back up the tree for practice.

(With Chigusa And Kiriko)

Chigusa ducked and weaved through her younger sister's attacks. Kiriko was training her to use the Blood Fist better, as well as increasing her speed and reaction time.

"Come on, Onee-chan, you can do better than this!" Kiriko taunted.

Chigusa smirked. "You asked for it!" she lashed out and hit Kiriko in the shoulder, making her right arm useless for the time being.

Kiriko hissed in pain and jumped back, clutching her arm. 'Shit!'

Chigusa took her sister's retreat as an opening and dashed at Kiriko, intent on closing another vein in her arm.

But Kiriko was faster. She used the Blood Fist to reverse the effects of Chigusa's attack, then jumped away before she could get in another hit.

Chigusa looked around for her sister, but couldn't find her. She then felt someone grab her legs and she looked down to see Kiriko's hands sticking out of the ground.

"Earth Release: Inner Decapitation Technique!" can Kiriko's slightly muffled voice.

Chigusa was suddenly pulled underground until only her head remained above the surface.

"Alright, I yield." Chigusa sighed, she was almost out of chakra and exhausted.

Kiriko just walked up to her sister, panting heavily. "Good..." she then collapsed from chakra exhaustion.

"Wait a minute! Who's going to get me out of here?" Chigusa yelled, but Kiriko didn't even flinch in her sleep.

"I suppose that would be me." came a monotonous, bored sounding voice from behind her.

"Namikaze-sama?" Chigusa questioned.

Naruto stepped into her field of vision and shook his head. "No, I am just a clone. The Boss kept me posted nearby incase you two overdid it." the clone looked at Kiriko, who was snoring lightly. "And it appears that he made the right choice." the clone proceeded to dig Chigusa out of the ground.

(Five Minutes Later)

Chigusa brushed herself off and huffed. "This was my favorite outfit too." she pouted.

The Naruto clone shook his head. "Then you shouldn't have worn it while training."

This only made Chigusa pout more. "But I don't have anything else at the time."

The clone sighed. "This is all beside the point. The Boss ordered me to give this to you and Kiriko-san." it held out a small scroll and tossed it to Chigusa. "He also wanted me to give you these." the clone tossed the woman a small container of soldier pills.

Chigusa smiled and bowed gratefully. "Thank you, Clone-san. And please, send Namikaze-sama my thanks."

The clone chuckled. "I don't have to. As with all solid clones, excluding Water Clones, once we are dispelled all of our experiences are transferred to our creator. But nonetheless, you are very welcome." the clone bowed respectfully and dissolved into black dust.

Chigusa smiled at her new master/brother's thoughtfulness and sat down next to her sister and open the scroll.

There were six techniques written on the parchment: Shadow Clone Technique, Water Release: Exploding Water Shockwave, Wind Release: Great Breakthrough, Lightning Release: Static Bolt, Air Cutter, and Lightning Release: Closed Circuit. And, of course, instructions on how to use them.

There was also a note written by Naruto himself at the bottom, detailing what to do with the techniques.

It read: "In this scroll are six techniques. As my Darkness Clone has most likely told you, after solid clones dispel, their knowledge goes to their creator. So you are to learn the Shadow Clone Technique, if you haven't already. The second is so that you'll always have a body of water to use your Water techniques. The Wind techniques are for Chigusa-san, and the Lightning techniques are for Kiriko-san.

The techniques I've chosen for you are based on your strengths and weaknesses. For you, Chigusa-san, I have chosen the Wind Release: Great Breakthrough for a ranged attack, and my own personal technique, the Air Cutter, for close range.

And for you, Kiriko-san, I've chosen the Lightning Release: Static Bolt as a mid to long range attack, and Lightning Release: Closed Circuit for close range.

Have fun, and good luck.

Your Brother,

Namikaze Naruto

P.S. Welcome to the family."

Chigusa let a tear slide down her cheek as she read the last line. She looked at the still unconscious Kiriko and smiled warmly.

"Thank you...Nii-chan."

(Zabuza's Hideout)

Haku was sitting by Zabuza's side, as she had been ever since he passed out. She hoped that he would wake up soon so she could check to see if Chigusa had escaped with Kiriko, or if they had been killed by the masked Konohagakure Genin.

She clenched her fists at the thought of the boy who had harmed her master and had taken someone who she had thought of as a sister. Which, in turn, caused the other person she thought of as a sister to leave.

"Please be okay...I don't think I could live knowing that I had a hand in your deaths."

Haku still blamed herself for Kiriko being taken prisoner. If only she had disobeyed Zabuza's orders this one time, maybe things would have been different.

"I should have done something. I should have helped her." Haku started to sob, thankful that Zabuza wasn't awake to see her weakness.

"There was nothing you could do." Kitoro said as he leaned against the doorframe.

Haku's head snapped up and she dried her eyes, turning her back to the short teen. "I'm sorry you had to see me like this."

Kitoro snorted. "Don't beat yourself up over what happened with the twins. You heard what that masked kid said, he was willing to cut down anyone who interfered in the battled, friend or foe. You'd have been dead before you even entered the clearing, and you know it."

Haku turned to Kitoro, tears welling up in her eyes again. "That's no excuse! I would give my life for any one of you! Who knows, maybe my sacrifice would have distracted him long enough for Zabuza-sama to land a killing blow." Haku looked down, ashamed at her own cowardice.

Kitoro's eyes flashed with rage and he stomped up to Haku and smacked her, hard. "What the hell is wrong with you! Do you honestly believe that needlessly throwing away your life would change anything for the better? Let me tell you how it would have gone.

You would have rushed out and would have been decapitated before you could blink. Then Zabuza would try and attack, thinking that the kid was distracted, only to get himself killed as well. I would have been found out, even if I didn't attack. And even if I did escape, I'd be tracked down by Hunter-nin and killed anyway."

Haku held her stinging cheek gently, staring at the short teen in shock.

"Pull yourself together, Haku! We've already lost Hachimo, the Demon Brothers, and now the Orasu twins, we can't afford to lose you as well. Besides, I refuse to be left alone with a psychopath like Zabuza."

Haku sobbed again. "But...I'm useless a-and weak."

Kitoro rolled his eyes. "Oh shut up with that shit! Stop wallowing in self pity and act like the 'weapon' you claim to be!" with that the brown-clad ninja left.

Haku stared at the doorway where her friend once was, then turned back to Zabuza.

"He's right, I must be strong...for you, Zabuza-sama."

(?)

Shizaru walked down the long hallways of an old mansion. As he walked he glanced at the faded and worn paintings that decorated the walls. He noticed quite a few of them looked like they had been burned, as did most of the curtains covering the windows.

_**"Damned pyromaniac..." **_Shizaru grumbled under his breath.

Normally, Shizaru wouldn't give two shits about anything, or anyone unless his master told him to. But the demon he was sent to see was one of the very few things he hated with a passion.

Shizaru slid his gloved hand over a blackened wall, cleaning it slightly.

He looked at the black residue on his fingers and snorted. _**"Just as I thought...carbon deposits." **_he wiped his hand on a nearby curtain and continued on his way.

Shizaru eventually found the lair of his fellow demon, which was, of course, the master bedroom. He pushed the door open, not bothering to knock. But the door just fell down anyway, having been blasted off its hinges long ago.

The black clad demon wrinkled his nose under his hood. The scene he had walked in on was...less than pleasant, even for a demon like him. The room was entirely covered with blood, and body parts littered the floor. He noticed that every body was human and female, so he could only assume that his fellow demon had violated every one of them, both before and after they died.

_"Ahh, Shizaru, welcome to my humble abode."_ a sinister rasp echoed throughout the room.

A tall humanoid form stood in from of a large window in the back of the room, which was smeared with bloody handprints. From the back you could see the figure had two swords strapped to his back.

Shizaru snorted. _**"I really don't see anything 'humble' about this place." **_he kicked a severed head aside, and noticed that it had a white liquid around its lips. _**"You have absolutely no finesse, Inferno."**_

The figure turned around and walked into the light. It looked to be a man, about six foot two, wearing red armor styled to look like a humanoid skeleton; complete with a fanged, crimson skull mask. He had a black bodysuit under his armor that tucked into his shin-high boots and his black and red gloves. His breastplate looked like a human ribcage, which protected a strange red sphere in the middle.

The demon adjusted his red vambraces before speaking. _"'Finesse'? What is that, something that only you and your fellow homos know about?"_

Shizaru stiffened at the insinuation made by Inferno. _**"I may not have had as many...'partners' as you have, but all of mine were **_**very**_** willing."**_

Inferno smirked behind his mask. _"Well of course, all males are eternally horny, even gay ones."_

Shizaru growled and clenched his fists. Three, meter long claws shot from within the sleeves of his robe/coat.

Inferno chuckled and laid a hand on the hilt of one of the swords on his back. _"Come on, ya' little faggot!"_

Shizaru was about to launch himself at Inferno and rip him apart, but then he remembered something that caused him to smirk.

_**"Heh, it seems you have forgotten that I am Lord Arcarian's right hand demon, which means that I outrank you. That means you do what I tell you to do, when I tell you to do it." **_the black clad demon said smugly.

Inferno just snarled and flipped Shizaru the bird. _"Sit and spin, Shizaru."_

Said demon just snorted and retracted his blades. _**"I assume that, even with such a low IQ, you know why I'm here."**_

Inferno waved his hand dismissively, ignoring the jab at his intellect. _"Yeah, yeah, I got it. Enter this tournament the humans have, the '__Chūnin__ Exams', and fight the new master of the Soul Edge. This'll be a cakewalk for sure."_

_**"You say that now, but just remember, that child has done what you never could. And that is gain complete control over the Soul Edge. Nightmare-san's power was said to rival that of Kyuubi-san's, so it's no small wonder that you could never beat him. After all, I'm stronger than you, but Nightmare is beyond my level."**_

Inferno glared at Shizaru, reaching for a sword once again. _"What was that?"_

Shizaru picked up a feminine arm and placed it under his hood. There was a wet ripping sound, followed by the sickening crunch of bone. Shizaru continued to chew on the piece of human flesh in his mouth, seemingly ignoring the fuming demon in front of him.

_**"Did I go too fast for you? I...Am...Stronger...Than...You. Did you get all that?" **_ he took another bite out of the arm, then tossed it aside.

_"You're stronger than me? Well then, I say we test that theory of yours."_

_**"It ceases to be a theory once it has been proven."**_

_"What's wrong, afraid of a little fire?" _Inferno snapped his fingers and a small fireball appeared in his hand.

Shizaru once again ignored the demon and sifted through the gore on the floor for a nice, juicy internal organ. He stooped to pick up a liver, then took a big bite out of it and sighed contently.

_**"Delectable." **_he turned to Inferno again. _**"You want to fight again? Haven't I kicked your ass enough for one century?"**_

Normally, Shizaru was the most apathetic being you'd ever meet. But when he was alone with Inferno, he was a completely different demon. He made vulgar jokes, as opposed to his normal, monotonous one-liners. He taunted his fellow demon, often turning his own insults against him.

It was no secret that the two hated each other with a passion. In fact, Inferno had confirmed this by saying Shizaru was one of the beings he hated most, second only to Nightmare himself.

Shizaru wouldn't go as far as to say/admit that he hated Inferno, as he didn't care enough to hate anything. He just didn't like the fire demon, and it had been this way ever since they first met.

Inferno roared and charged, pulling out a fairly large, Dao-like saber with a blade made of flames. Shizaru sighed and brought out a single, three-foot claw, then jammed it into the red orb in Inferno's chest.

The armored demon let out a shriek of pain before his body burst into flames. The flames swirled above the ash that remained of Inferno's body and a large skull formed.

_"DAMN YOU!" _the burning skull raged.

Shizaru just shrugged and snorted. _**"I'm tired of your attitude. For disobeying a direct order from your superior, I have sentenced your body to death."**_

_"WHAT? You never gave me an order!"_

_**"But no one else knows that. Who is the High Council going to believe? You; the rude, foul-mouthed cretin, or me; the respected leader of Lord Arcarian's army?"**_

_"I'm going to get you back for this." _Inferno hissed.

_**"You said that the last time...and the time before that, and the time before that. Yet you have never been able to follow through with that threat, so I have no reason to worry about your 'revenge'." **_Shizaru turned to walk out of the room, and called over his shoulder. _**"You need to find a new host, preferably human. Gather your two best human subordinates and head to Konoha. The '**__**Chūnin**__** Examinations' start in April of next year, much later than we originally thought. Apparently there have been some complications in certain villages that were to participate. They can't very well have a tournament with people from only a couple villages." **_with that Shizaru walked out the doorway and disappeared into the darkness beyond.

(Many Hours Later ?)

A woman in her late twenties/early thirties looked out of the window of her mansion. Her home sat on a large hill overlooking Uzu no Kuni(Land of the Whirlpool). Her bright red hair came down to the small of her back and was tipped with black. She wore a red kimono with black, rose-like designs.

"Hello, my sons. I trust your hunt went well?" the woman's beautiful voice rang out as she felt a slight breeze ruffle her hair.

"Yes, mother, the traitors have been eliminated." said a low, masculine voice.

The woman turned around to face the three people behind her. They were kneeling in front of her, their heads bowed, like they were unworthy of laying their eyes on their own mother.

They all wore black robes with identical swirl designs on them, only in different colors. The one on the right had blue swirls, the one on the left had green ones, and the one in the center had purple designs.

"Take off your hoods and lift your heads. I am your mother, not your queen." the woman smiled as she looked at the center figure. "You should know better by now, Kagimi-chan."

All three figures rose to their feet, revealing that the center figure had a smaller frame than the others, but was around the same height. They all lifted their hoods to reveal their faces.

The one on the right had icy blue eyes what matched the designs on his cloak, and snow-white hair. He face was flawless, and almost feminine, but his height and build told everyone that he was a guy.

The one on the left had messy brown hair and dull, forest-green eyes, again matching the designs on his cloak. He had two long scars on either cheek, and was bleeding from a cut over his left eye, but didn't seem affected by it in the least.

The center figure was revealed to be a girl of the same age as her brothers, with purple eyes and jet black hair. She was grinning insanely and unconsciously licking her lips, remembering the blood that had been there earlier.

The boy on the right looked at his sister and sighed. "Do did it, didn't you?" he asked her.

The girl turned to her white haired brother and grinned even more. Her eyes suddenly turned red and her pupils turned into tri-bladed shuriken. This girl had what every Uchiha had been working towards as some time or another: the Mangekyo Sharingan.

"Of course I did, Kuishiro-nii-san! The Mangekyo is vital to mother's plans." she giggled.

The woman nodded. "That it is." she looked at the silent final sibling. "Houshima-chan, how did you get that cut? Those traitors were far below your level."

The green-eyed boy shrugged. "It turns out that one of them had some ANBU training and he caught me off guard. But he was quickly dispatched without further complications." he said lazily.

The red-haired woman nodded and grinned with the same insanity as her daughter. "Excellent, my children, absolutely perfect! But it seems that the Chūnin Exams held in Konohagakure no Sato have been postponed until April, so you all have more time to train. Use your time wisely, the demon you must kill is no pushover."

The siblings all nodded. "We will train the best we can, mother. Our brother will be avenged!" Kagimi said.

"You remember your mission?"

They nodded again. "We must enter the Chūnin Exams as a Genin team from Whirlpool, with you as our Jōnin sensei." Kuishiro said.

"Then we must find the demon that has corrupted our lost brother's body." Houshima continued.

"And we must kill it to release his soul, so he may finally rest in peace." Kagimi finished.

The woman nodded. "You must not let that demon live in the body of a member of this clan! Do you all remember what you must do to the demon?"

"I will use the Mangekyo to destroy its mind." Kagimi grinned, her Sharingan spinning madly.

"I will destroy its body." Kuishiro said as small bolts of electricity danced around his body.

"And I will destroy its soul, and free our brother's." Houshima held out his hand and a large, glowing, silver and black scythe appeared.

"Good, you are dismissed." the woman said.

The siblings bowed, then left to do whatever they wanted to.

The woman turned back to the window, then took out a pocket-sized photograph. In it she was smiling happily as she stood by a tall man with wildly spiky, bright blonde hair and cerulean blue eyes that radiated kindness, warmth, and power.

A teardrop hit the man's face and slowly rolled down the photo sideways until it came to the woman's swollen stomach, where it stopped mysteriously. She had been seven months pregnant with that man's son when the photo had been taken.

More tears fell from the woman's eyes as she continued to stare at the picture, completely ignoring the beautiful sunset.

"I know you didn't mean for it to happen, and for that I can forgive you. I will avenge our son, my love." she continued to weep well into the night.

(Naruto's Mindscape)

Naruto looked around the dark, sewer-like maze that was the entrance to his mind. It had been a long time since he had been to this place, and he didn't really know why he was here now.

Naruto shrugged and teleported himself to the main chamber of his mind, which just happened to be in the same chamber as Kyuubi's cage.

When he appeared he looked around, searching for a certain vixen. "Kyuu-chan, why have you brought me here?" he asked, but got no answer.

Naruto walked towards the cage, but stopped at what he saw inside. There, laying on a huge bed in the center of a massive room, was a sleeping Kyuubi in her human form.

While on the outside, Naruto's mind reflected his personality. So it was always dark, cold, and creepy as hell. But inside Kyuubi's cage was completely different. Naruto had made it so the fox could change the room into anything she wanted to, which was often a luxurious mansion, or an endless field.

Naruto wanted to turned away, so as not to disturb the sleeping beauty. But before he could do anything, he found himself on the other side of the bars, inside the cage. He struggled against himself, but eventually gave up, thinking that nothing terribly bad could happen.

Little did he know that he was being watched. Nightmare stood in the far corner of the cage, hidden by the shadows. Earlier he and Kyuubi had made a bet.

Kyuubi was to draw Naruto into her chamber, and pretend to be asleep. She was then supposed to wait until Naruto got close enough, then toss and turn in her "sleep", ending with her in some very...provocative positions. Then she was supposed to moan and whimper, like she was in heat or something, and call out Naruto's name.

The bet they made was this: if Naruto actually did something, anything to show he was giving into his lust, Nightmare won the bet. If Naruto did nothing and just left, then Kyuubi won.

Kyuubi had told Nightmare that Naruto was far to proud to do something like that. But Nightmare's exact words were: _"Bullshit. I'll bet he'll take you like the animal you are."_

Kyuubi growled. **"I'll take that bet, and I say he'll just leave." **though she was secretly hoping Nightmare was right.

_"Alright, you're on. As for the bet...How about this: If I win, you give me those two 'favors' the kid owes you. If you win...I guess I'll have no choice but to do whatever you want me to do."_

Kyuubi grinned. **"You've got yourself a deal!" **they shook hands and got to work on their trap.

And Naruto had fallen for that trap hook, line, and sinker. But he had yet to do anything other then stare at demoness in front of him.

Kyuubi decided it was time to bring out the big guns. She curled up in a ball and moaned loudly.

**"Ohhh...Naru-kun..." **she had to stop herself from grinning when she heard Naruto's spine crack a little as he stiffened.

'What...The...Fuck...?' Naruto thought.

During their little "Sex Ed." talk, Kyuubi had told him all about wet dreams, using his own as examples.

Naruto's first instinct was to run away, so as not to be called a pervert by Kyuubi if she woke up. But another part of him was telling him to rip those bed sheets off, tear open her kimono, and ravage Kyuubi for hours on end. One part of him wanted to leave and go back to his own dreamless slumber. But another part wanted to make the demonic vixen scream in pleasure for the rest of the night and into the morning.

Naruto slowly reached out with his hand, not really noticing or caring that he was trembling slightly. As he got closer, something inside of him was screaming at him, telling him to pull back and run before it was too late and he had gone too far. But it was rivaled by something else, which was roaring at him, telling him that there was no such thing as "too far". Telling him to give her what she, apparently, wanted.

Nightmare's eyes were locked onto Naruto's hand. All he needed was for just his finger tips to brush Kyuubi's ass and he would win their bet.

Kyuubi tried to remain calm and not give Naruto any hint that she wasn't asleep, but she found it incredibly hard. Just knowing that Naruto might just pounce on her at any time was almost enough to make her "mouth down south" start drooling, but she still had some self control left. She briefly wondered if the rules of the bet were null and void if she was the one that started things off.

Naruto's hand hovered over Kyuubi's perfect hips as the boy continued his internal conflict. Just when it seemed he had given into his lust, he simply grabbed the bed sheets and moved them up to cover Kyuubi from the neck down. He squeezed her shoulder gently, then left the cage, returning to his rest.

Nightmare stepped out of the shadows, glaring at the spot where Naruto had been before he disappeared.

_"Son of a horse-fucking bitch!"_ the demonic knight raged.

Kyuubi cracked open an eye and grinned. **"Told ya' so!" **she chirped.

Nightmare rounded on her. _"Shut up! We both know damn well you wanted him to fuck you into next week!"_

Kyuubi blushed fiercely at the Azure Knights choice of words. **"W-whatever, I still won, so nyah!" **in a very childish gesture, unbefitting of the "Queen of Demons", Kyuubi stuck out her tongue and blew a raspberry at Nightmare.

Nightmare sweatdropped, then let his head hang. _"Fine...What do you want me to do?"_ he sighed heavily.

Kyuubi sat on her bed in her "Thinking Pose". She sat cross-legged with her eyes appearing as horizontal slits, a cute pout on her face, and tapped her chin repeatedly.

(One Hour Later)

Kyuubi was still thinking. Sometimes she would open her mouth to say something, then shake her head and go back to thinking.

Nightmare had taken to bashing his head on the wall, sometimes getting the horn on his helmet stuck and cursing like a drunk sailor. Eventually he just snapped and stomped up to Kyuubi.

_"Dammit, it doesn't take anyone that long to think! Your brain isn't even that big!"_

Kyuubi's eyes snapped open and she glared at Nightmare, who took a step back and gulped.

**"Just for that I'm going to make you dye your armor pink for the rest of the month!" **she grinned evilly.

Nightmare's eyes widened. _"You can't make me do that! I have a reputation to keep!"_

**"Correction; the Soul Edge has a reputation, not you specifically. And I can make you do whatever I want!"**

_"But pink! That's way too harsh a punishment for a true statement!"_ Kyuubi's glare intensified, but Nightmare covered his mistake. _"I meant that it doesn't take anyone an hour to think of something!"_

**"Oh, I know what you meant. Instead of pink armor, I'm going to make you wear shiny, neon-purple armor with glittery, hot pink flowers on it!"** Kyuubi laughed maniacally.

Nightmare, on the other hand, looked absolutely terrified. He'd never be able to live it down if he let that happen. Even if he was just going to go back to hell, have his soul "recycled", then put back in the Underworld as a new demon, he was sure that he'd at least remember something as traumatizing as that.

Kyuubi giggled and jumped off of her bed and ran into a closet that hadn't been there seconds before. The sounds of glass breaking, birds screeching, and an elephant came from the closet before Kyuubi returned with an immense box.

**"Here we are!"** Kyuubi slammed the box down in front of Nightmare, creating a small earthquake and shaking him out of his stupor.

Nightmare looked around frantically for whatever had made such a tremor, then he spotted the box at his feet and a grinning Kyuubi.

_"What the hell is that?"_ the knight asked, pointing at the box.

Kyuubi's grin widened and turned more sinister, but somehow still managed to be cute. She reached into her kimono and pulled out a pair of sunglasses. After she put them on she ripped the top of the box off and turned away.

The box erupted in a blinding light, which Nightmare looked directly at. He recoiled and dropped to the ground, covering his eyes and screaming in pain.

_"AAAARRRRGGGGHHHH! WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU HAVE IN THERE, THE FUCKING SUN!"_

Kyuubi giggled and shook her head. **"Nope, just your new armor!"**

She bolted over to Nightmare, who was still on the ground in pain, and put the armor onto him. What was scary was the fact that she did it in less than a third of a second.

Nightmare never knew what happened until he noticed that he was unimaginably shiny and he looked into the mirror that Kyuubi was holding up.

_"!"_

(Outside World)

Naruto snapped awake and saw that Kakashi and Sasuke were both sound asleep in their beds.

'What the hell...?' he collapsed back onto his bed and went back to sleep.

(In The Morning)

Naruto awoke before everyone else in the house, yawning and stretching like any normal person. He looked at the room's other two occupants and shrugged before he sank into the shadow cast by the bed. Then said bed burst into flames and disappeared.

The heat and noise from the fire awoke Kakashi and Sasuke and they hopped out of bed and looked around frantically. They both noticed that Naruto and his bed were gone and figured that the masked boy had just left without bothering to tell them.

Sasuke ran a hand through his hair and yawned. His eyes widened when he noticed that he didn't have his bandana on and he rushed to put it on before his sensei turned around.

He succeeded without a millisecond to spare. "Good morning, Sasuke!" Kakashi greeted with an eye-smile.

Sasuke just muttered something and left the room for his morning piss.

Kakashi shook his head. 'Am I the only morning person in Team Seven?' he thought.

(Random Clearing)

Naruto unsheathed his odachi and started performing different kata. Each one was part of a style that was incorporated in the Dragon Destroyer Kenjutsu style. One thing Kyuubi had taught Naruto was there was no point in trying to figure out an opponents fighting style if you don't even understand your own.

Naruto started his "Dance of Death", as Kyuubi called it, slashing and thrusting his sword at imaginary targets. His arm was still a bit stiff and sore, so he didn't dare practice with his clones.

The Namikaze survivor found himself confused by this, as had suffered injuries much worse than the one he sustained the previous day, and most of those healed over with a good night's rest. But here he had just destroyed his arm from the inside out, and it wasn't healing like it was supposed to.

'Is something wrong with me?' he thought to himself.

Naruto then heard a yawn inside of his head. **"It's because of that Dreadwraith you fought. When you killed those Razor Bats, one of their severed heads made a tiny cut on your right arm. When you cut up the Dreadwraith, some of its blood got into your system. This would have killed most other living creatures, but it just messed up your healing abilities. So the damage you did to your arm will take longer to heal until all of the monster's blood has been cleared from your system. That should take another day, two at the most. Until then, try to avoid serious injuries, okay?" **Kyuubi said.

'Why do you think I'm not training with my clones? This is extremely light training for me.' Naruto replied, jumping into the air and doing ten slashes in the blink of an eye.

He growled lowly when he felt his right arm burn like his blood had been replaced with acid.

**"Take it easy, dammit! If you keep doing that, you'll be better off just ripping your arm off and letting me regrow it!" **Kyuubi screamed at her vessel.

Naruto stopped mid-slash and looked at his arm. 'Maybe-' he was cutoff by a growl from Kyuubi.

**"Don't you even think about it."**

Naruto shrugged and continued to practice.

(One Hour Later, Back At Tazuna's House)

Everyone was awake and sitting at the table for breakfast. Sasuke with his bandana eating fried eggs and toast, yet still looking like someone shit in his Cheerios and made him smell it. Kakashi already done eating and reading his smut at the table. Sakura, Chigusa, Kiriko, and Tsunami glared at the one-eyed man everytime he made a perverted giggle, which was about every five seconds. Inari was still in his room, refusing to leave until he felt like it. And Tazuna was reading his morning newspaper, though there was really no point, as anything that Gato didn't approve of was omitted from the headlines. Unfortunately, almost everything that went on in Wave Country fell under that category.

"I have to go into town to get some groceries, which one of you is free later today?" Tsunami asked.

Kakashi looked up from his "book". "Well, Sasuke still needs to train, and I'll be supervising him. I have no idea where Naruto is, so he's out as well. I guess you'll have to escort Tsunami, Sakura."

Sakura looked downcast for a moment because she wouldn't get to watch "her Sasuke-kun" train. But she also wanted to explore the town and see if things were as bad as Tazuna said they were.

"Right, Kakashi-sensei." Sakura turned to Tsunami. "When are you going out?"

Tsunami turned to look at the clock on the wall. "It's 9:37 right now...So around eleven, or noon. Nothing's open right now."

Sakura nodded, then turned to her sensei. "Kakashi-sensei, who's going to guard Tazuna?" she asked.

Kakashi looked up and scratched the back of his head. "I...kinda forgot about that..." he laughed nervously as everyone facefaulted.

"...I should throw you into a pit full of rabid gerbils." said an even, but annoyed voice from the entrance to the dining room.

Kakashi stiffened, then smiled behind his mask. "Naruto! Just in time, it's your turn to guard Tazuna!"

Naruto looked at the old bridge builder, then at Kakashi. "...Fine. You're supposed to be there at noon, right?" he asked Tazuna, who nodded. "Very well, but the Uchiha does it tomorrow..." he looked squarely at Kakashi, "no matter what training you have planned for him."

Sasuke narrowed his eyes and opened his mouth to say something, but a quick look from Kakashi silenced him.

"Fine." Sasuke mumbled.

Naruto snorted and looked at Chigusa and Kiriko, who looked like they would pass out any second.

"How has your training progressed?" Naruto asked.

The twins jumped, startled out of their sleep deprived states temporarily. "Our training has gone well, Namikaze-sama. The scroll you left us has been very helpful." Chigusa said politely.

"Yeah, especially the Shadow Clones!" Kiriko said cheerfully.

Kakashi's eye widened and he looked at Naruto. "You taught them the Shadow Clone Technique? That's forbidden in our village!"

Naruto rolled his eyes. "Really? I didn't know that, but that does explain why the scroll I got it from had 'Forbidden' written on it in really big kanji."

Everyone sweatdropped. "Do you have to be a smartass all the time?" Kakashi said.

Naruto shrugged. "Kinda hard not to be a smartass when you're talking to dumbasses all the time."

Chigusa, who had been drinking tea, started choking and giggling at the same time. Kiriko just spit hers out and laughed until she fell out of her chair. Not only was what Naruto said funny, it seemed that his team didn't know he was talking about them, which only proved Naruto's statement.

Naruto turned to Kiriko. "How far have you progressed with your Lightning techniques?"

Kiriko grinned. "It's going great, Nii-chama! I especially like that Static Bolt Technique." she giggled evilly.

Chigusa unconsciously rubbed her ass and glared at her sister.

Naruto sweatdropped. "Yeah...I'll bet you do." his sweatdrop increased in size when he saw Kiriko "discreetly" gather electric chakra on her fingertip and poke Chigusa, causing her to yelp and glare at her.

Chigusa figured that her sister wasn't going to stop anytime soon, so she played her trump card.

"Naruto-nii-chaaaaan! Tell Kiriko to stop!" she whined, her eyes brimming with excessive tears.

Naruto damn near facefaulted, but kept his composure. The same could not be said for everyone else, so multiple crashes were heard.

Naruto and looked at Kiriko. "Kiriko-san...Not at the table."

Kiriko hung her head and groaned while Chigusa gave a victory sign and grinned.

Kakashi was the first to recover and leveled a glare on Naruto. "What exactly did you teach them?"

Naruto shrugged. "Shadow Clone Technique, Water Release: Exploding Water Shockwave, Wind Release: Great Breakthrough, Lightning Release: Static Bolt, Air Cutter, and Lightning Release: Closed Circuit."

Kakashi's eye widened. "You taught them all that?"

Sasuke growled and slammed his hands down on the table. "Alright, freak, I demand that you show me those techniques!"

Naruto shrugged. "Alright...But you really should have rephrased that." he flashed through handseals and held his hand out towards the Uchiha.

A small bolt of lightning flew from Naruto's palm and slammed into Sasuke's chest, sending him out of an open window.

"SASUKE-KUN!" Sakura screeched.

Naruto walked over to the window and saw Sasuke on his back in a small crater, dazed and confused.

"That was Lightning Release: Static Bolt. Would you like me to show you another?" Sasuke just groaned incoherently, and Naruto snorted. "If you couldn't take an attack as weak as that one, you have no right to 'demand' anything."

Kakashi sighed and restrained himself. If he came to the Uchiha's defense again, Naruto would be pissed and blast him too. And in his crippled state, he was sure that wouldn't be too pleasant.

Kiriko was gaping at her brother's power. "Only my strongest Static Bolt could blast somebody back that far!"

Chigusa was trying hard not to laugh, but it was quite funny to see a member of the legendary Uchiha Clan get manhandled on a daily basis.

Naruto looked at Kiriko. "If your attack is that weak, then you should be training. Remember, the evaluation is on Monday, so you have three days to get prepared."

Chigusa and Kiriko looked at each other, then jumped up and ran out of the house.

"I'll return at eleven o' clock, that's one hour and fifteen minutes away, so I suggest you be ready to leave by then, Tazuna-san." Naruto said.

"Where will you be until then?" Kakashi asked.

Naruto shrugged. "Wandering." and he walked out the door.

(Twenty Minutes Later)

Naruto looked around as he walked through the untouched forest. It was peaceful here, quiet, serene, and enemy free.

He sighed and stopped walking. "Not many places like this in Konoha." he said out loud.

**"I don't think there are any in Konoha. At least, not anymore." **Kyuubi said.

"Morning, Kyuu-chan." Naruto greeted.

**"Morning Naru-kuuuuuiiit, Naru-kit." **Kyuubi caught her slip-up.

Naruto rose an eyebrow. "At least it's better than 'Naru-chan'."

**"Aww, what's wrong? Naru-kins doesn't like being called 'Naru-chaaaan'?"**

Naruto growled. "No, I don't."

Kyuubi laughed, then abruptly stopped. **"...Do you smell that?"**

"Smell what?" Naruto sniffed the air and nodded. "Blood, so what?"

Kyuubi growled. **"Not just any blood, fox blood. Move!"**

Naruto sped off in the direction of the smell and eventually came to a small clearing that was covered in blood. He was almost consumed with rage at the sight of at least a dozen dead foxes, each one brutally hacked apart by a sword.

"What the hell?" he whispered to himself.

Kyuubi, however, wasn't as subdued as her container. **"Naruto, find whoever did this and make them pay! Tear them apart, show no mercy, kill their families! DESTROY THEM!" **she screamed.

Naruto was about to do just that, but stopped when he heard a pitiful whimper from behind a nearby bush. He walked over to it and peeked over the leaves. And for some reason what he saw made his heart skip a beat.

It was a little fox kit, severely injured and lying in a pool of its own blood. It whined in pain and looked up at Naruto. Its eyes widened in unimaginable fear and it tried to get up and run, but its injuries made it howl in agony and collapse.

The look that it gave Naruto was one he knew all too well. It was the look that was plastered on his face everyday for six years. The look of something that's been caused intense pain for an unknown reason.

Naruto walked through the bush. "Don't be afraid, I won't hurt you." he said in the softest, most non-threatening voice he could manage.

The little kit seemed to calm down a bit, but took one look at his waist and the look of unbridled fear returned.

Naruto looked down and saw the problem; his sword. The kit had obviously had its entire family killed, and had been wounded itself, by a sword. So it would naturally fear a man that was probably much more intimidating and had a bigger sword.

Naruto took his sword off of his waist and dropped it into his shadow. "See? I mean you absolutely no harm. I wish to help you, that's all."

During this time, the kit had shut its eyes tightly, waiting for more pain and the finishing blow, but it never came. It opened its eyes when it heard Naruto's voice. The small fox noticed that he no longer had his weapon, and calmed down once again, allowing Naruto to approach.

Naruto saw the kit's wounds and it made his heart wrench. 'Kyuubi, why am I feeling this way?'

**"Kit, that's called sympathy. That kit has gone through something similar to what you have, and it makes you sad that some other being had to suffer like you did for no reason at all." **Kyuubi explained, most of her rage dissipated by seeing a fellow fox in such conditions.

Naruto reached out a patted the kit's head, to which the fox responded by licking his fingers. This action caused Naruto, for the first time in his entire life, to give a genuine smile. Not a fake smile, like the ones he used to give the Hokage, not one that held the promise of pain and death, not even a smile of amusement. A real smile, warm and comforting.

Inside of Naruto's mind, Kyuubi was wiping her eyes and sniffling.

**"In all my millennia, I've never seen something like that." **she blew her nose. She then heard sobbing behind her. **"Nightmare?"**

Said demon was staring at the screen that was Naruto's vision, trying not to bawl his eyes out.

_"Sh-Shut up...It's just...It's just that...It's...It's so beautiful!"_he also blew his nose, forgetting about his helm. _"...Ew..."_

Kyuubi walked towards Nightmare with her arms open. **"There, there, it's alright to cry every once in a while."**

Nightmare jerked back. _"D-Don't touch me!...DON'T LOOK AT ME!"_with that outburst the demonic knight retreated to the back of Naruto's mind, not to be heard from for the rest of the day.

Back in the outside world, Naruto flashed through a long string of fifty-six handseals in four seconds, and his hands glowed dark green. He placed them over the kit's body and started to heal it. He had to concentrate much more than when he had healed Iruka, as Iruka was a ninja that was used large amounts of chakra all the time.

The kit was much smaller, and didn't use any more chakra than it needed to survive. So Naruto couldn't put too much chakra into the Miracle Hand, or else he'd overload the fox's system and make it blow up. But he still had to put enough chakra into it to bring the kit back from the edge of death. He also had to take into account the fact that his half demon chakra was much more potent than normal human chakra.

Naruto began to panic when he noticed that the wounds were closing, but not fast enough the stop the kit from bleeding to death.

XXXX

BWAHAHAHAHAHA! CLIFFY!

Yet another Soul Calibur character has been introduced, so all hail Inferno! But he technically didn't have a body in the games, so I made him one...which Shizaru destroyed...Oh well.

And don't complain about Nightmare being OOC, remember, he's not part of the Soul Edge anymore, so he's much more sarcastic and humorous that he'd normally be. Wouldn't you be happy to finally be set free after five thousand years trapped in a sword?

(1) I can't call it the "Real World" because the Shadow Realm is just as real.

Well, that's about all I have to say so...

Will the baby fox survive?

Will Naruto gain emotions?

Will Nightmare find a way to get out of that armor without Kyuubi noticing?

Will Orochimaru be arrested for gross sexual misconduct with a minor?

Find out in the next chapter!...Or whenever the hell I feel like telling you.

...Oh shit, what's in the bucket? What's in the bucket, what a bucket of shit. What a bucket of grapes and the grapes in the mouth, grapes in the mouth make you happy down south. Make ya' get a big boner, whatcha gonna do? Put ya' hands in ya' pocket and play pocket pool!

Why did I type that? I don't know!

Jason Out!


	13. Dealing With The Enemy

And here's Chapter Thirteen.

Not much to say except for the fact that it's Halloween, and I'm taking my cousins trick-or-treating. Or at least that's our cover, we're really going to TP and egg peoples' houses, and scare the shit out of little kids. So much fun...Anyway, I've got nothing else to say, so enjoy the new chap!

XXXX

**"Naruto, there is a way to save the little kit."** Kyuubi said.

"How?"

**"Keep the Miracle Hand active, and cut your palm. Let your blood into her system and turn her into a half demon like yourself."**

"But my blood is poisonous to anything that's not already a half or full demon."

**"That's what the Miracle Hand's for. It will heal any damage your blood does, and replace the blood the kit lost with your own. This will make her a half demon. It will also give you a special bond with her, unbreakable by almost any means. You'll always know where the other is, and be able to feed off of each others' chakra reserves. It will basically make you into siblings."** Kyuubi explained.

Naruto contemplated this. '...She has nothing out here, her family is dead, and she won't survive out here alone at such a young age. But I can't allow her to die, not while I'm here and able to do something about it.' Naruto sighed. "I guess I'm going to have another sister."

Naruto kept his hands on the kit's body and let a tendril of his cloak crawl down his arm and slice his palm, letting the blood leak into the fox's wounds. The blood that landed around the wounds and not on them was slowly absorbed into the kit's skin, and it began to convulse. Its eyes snapped open and it looked at Naruto in confusion. It wasn't in pain anymore, but it could tell something was happening.

"Don't be afraid, I won't let anything happen to you, that's a promise."

The kit seemed to understand and laid back down, letting whatever was happening to run its course.

Naruto rose an eyebrow when the kit's ears grew longer, as did her tail, and the patches of white fur turned black and her bright orange fur took on a darker tone. Deep orange chakra surrounded the small fox, then receded back into its body.

Naruto deactivated his Miracle Hand and watched the kit silently, waiting for it to wake up.

The fox stirred, then opened its black rimmed eyes, revealing crimson orbs, which were staring at Naruto.

"...Are you alright?" Naruto asked.

The kit yipped happily and ran up to Naruto, then cuddled into his lap.

Naruto chuckled. "I'll take that as a 'yes'." he got to his feet and cradled the fox in his arms. "Now, what should I name her?" Naruto said to himself.

**"How about...Seizonsha?" **Kyuubi suggested.

"'Survivor', eh?...It's perfect, thanks Kyuu-chan."

Kyuubi smiled. **"Not at all, Kit! But I still want you to find whoever killed those foxes and send them to hell." **

Naruto narrowed his eyes as the wind changed and he got another whiff of fox blood.

"Don't you worry about that. I will make them suffer for what they have done." Naruto created a small pouch in his cloak and deposited the sleeping fox kit inside of it.

**"It's been fifty-five minutes. If you start walking back now, it will take you exactly twenty minutes to make it back, provided there are no more distractions." **Kyuubi said.

Naruto nodded and turned on his heel, walking back the exact way he came.

(Twenty Minutes Later)

Naruto walked into Tazuna's home and found that the man was already standing there, waiting for him.

Tazuna looked down at his watch. "Wow, down to the second." he muttered in awe of Naruto's timing.

Naruto shrugged. "'Timing is everything.', the Nidaime Tsuchikage said that over sixty years ago, and those words have never proven untrue." he looked directly at Kakashi. "...For most people, anyway."

Kakashi eye smiled and gave Naruto a thumbs up, to which he sweatdropped lightly.

Tazuna just shook his head. 'Must be a ninja thing.' he thought to himself.

"Are you ready to leave, Tazuna-san?" Naruto asked the old man.

Tazuna nodded. "Let's get going, it won't look good to anyone if the Master Bridge Builder himself is late." he walked out the door, Naruto following close behind.

(At The Construction Site)

Naruto sat in a tree, softly petting Seizonsha, who purred happily while curled up on his lap.

Naruto shifted his right arm a bit, feeling a slight sting, but nothing more.

He sighed. 'So bored...What to do, what to do, what to do...' Naruto began his boredom chant for the first time in a long while.

Kyuubi flinched. **'Dammit, Naruto!' **she mentally yelled. **"Just leave a clone to watch the bridge and go practice techniques, or something!"**

Naruto "perked up" a bit. "Okay." he created a Darkness Clone and left before anyone noticed.

(Random Clearing)

Naruto sent his cloak to guard Seizonsha while he blew things up and caused all manner of chaos.

"Alright, what to do first...I know." Naruto created a Rasengan in his left hand.

Ever since he had read the Forbidden Scroll of Sealing, Naruto had been looking for a way to turn the Rasengan into a long range attack. He came up with one, but it was still in the beginning stages, and was more of a medium range attack.

No, what he needed was a way to release the energy that the Rasengan held without it turning into a bomb. He needed a way to focus all that chakra into a single point, like a beam or something.

Naruto held out his hand with the Rasengan and concentrated. He tried to slowly weaken and dissolve one side of the chakra wall that kept the Rasengan stable, making it blast out all in one direction. But since the Rasengan, as its name suggests, was a perfect sphere, weakening one side of it was almost impossible.

If he weakened one side, the whole thing would be weakened, and then he had a bomb in his hands. It was one of those "Give it an inch, and it takes a mile" kind of deals.

Naruto could feel the Rasengan was about to backfire, so he tried to reabsorb the chakra. But that also backfired, the Rasengan was now inside of his hand, but the energy was still there. That chakra blasted out of his palm and created a huge blue flash and a loud bang.

"...Hmmm..." the gears in Naruto's mind began to turn, not that they ever stopped. "If I can do that again, I think I just made another short range technique."

He did the same thing as before, except this time he absorbed the ball, then released the chakra willingly. Since the chakra from the Rasengan was now trapped inside the tenketsu in Naruto's arm, it had nowhere to go. So, because Kyuubi's modifications to Naruto's body kept his own chakra from harming him, the Rasengan's chakra had nowhere to go but out.

And so what happened was basically the explosive force of a ruptured Rasengan all concentrated in a small area directly in front of Naruto's arm.

Naruto directed the blast at a tree beside him and released the chakra. The blasted completely annihilated the thick trunk and blasted the top half of the tree a couple feet into the air. Quite a feat, considering the tree weighed many, many tons.

Naruto grinned. "Rasen Shottogan."(Spiral Shotgun) (1)

He didn't quite get what he wanted, but it was a great start. He wanted to apply the same principle as his new technique, but find a way to make it go as far as he wanted it to.

The Rasen Shottogan was great for close, and even some mid-range, combat situations, but he needed something with almost unlimited range. He still needed to find a way to focus the Rasengan's destructive power into one point at any distance.

"When I return to Konoha I'll have to do some research on the behavior of lasers."

**"Kit, remember what Garandou said about your father having an alignment with Light?"**

"Yeah, what of it?"

**"I'm sure that he had some beam attacks, or something. I happen to know of one of them for sure: Light Release: Flash Point Burn. It takes Light chakra, or the rays of the sun, and fires it out at one focal point. The concentrated Light energy will cut through anything like a hot knife through butter, and it's almost impossible to avoid because of its speed. But it can be countered with something as simple as a forehead protector, or any other reflective object."**

Naruto scratched his chin. "That might be useful. How do you know so much about it?"

**"Because, the Yondaime used it on me during our battle. The hole that I have in my ear isn't for an earring."** Kyuubi shrugged.

Naruto rose an eyebrow. "I've never seen a hole in your ear before."

**"Ever since you changed the seal so that I could have pretty much anything I wanted, I chose not to let that hole be seen. It's one of only three injuries that I never healed from. One was inflicted by the Yamata no Orochi, and the other was made by..."** Kyuubi trailed off.

"Made by what?"

**"I...don't wish to talk about it...Ever..." **Kyuubi muttered the last part, but Naruto still heard it.

"...Alright, I won't pry." Naruto felt something rubbing on his leg and he looked down and saw Seizonsha looking up at him, tail wagging happily. "Yes?" Naruto chuckled.

Seizonsha let out a series of yips and mews that Naruto knew meant: "Onii-san, look what I can do!"

The little fox, now that she saw she had Naruto's attention, sucked in a big breath, then breathed out a small stream of pale blue fire.

Naruto rose an eyebrow. 'Let me guess, Fox Fire?' he thought to Kyuubi.

**"Amazing! And from one so young, and not even a full demon yet! She will go very far with you, Kit, but you have to teach her as well."**

'Alright...But how am I supposed to teach her techniques? She can't exactly do handseals.'

Kyuubi giggled. **"You of all people should know that Kitsune are masters of deception, so she'll have access to a human form once she's strong enough. Your job is to get her to that level."**

'And how do I do that?'

**"You can communicate with her perfectly, so it should be simple to teach her human chakra control techniques. You might want to start out with the Leaf Floating exercise before you get into anything more advanced."**

Naruto nodded, and looked at Seizonsha, who was looking back at him expectantly.

"Very good, Sei-chan, very good indeed. But we'll need to train to make that more powerful."

Seizonsha yipped happily and started running in circles around Naruto. She suddenly stopped and started growling, her fur standing on end.

Naruto looked in the same direction and saw a small snake slithering across the other side of the clearing. He narrowed his eyes and looked back at Seizonsha.

"Kill it." he said.

The little fox was across the clearing in two seconds flat, tearing the snake apart with a savagery better suited to a berserk Kyuubi.

(Otogakure no Sato)

Orochimaru was sitting in his office hunched over a notebook, scribbling furiously.

"I'll show you, I'll show everyone!" he muttered to no one. "Once again, I'll be better than you in every way, Jiraiya!" Orochimaru cackled madly.

Just then one of his subordinates walked in, causing a slight breeze that lifted up part of the notebook, revealing the title: Icha Icha Paradise: Sashou Shounen.

The random lackey saw this and cocked his head to the side. '"Little Boys"? What the hell?' he thought, but didn't say anything.

"Um...Orochimaru-sama?"

Orochimaru's head suddenly snapped up and he stared into space, his pencil whipping off to the side and completely messing up his last line.

"...Why to I feel the sudden urge to cry?" he asked himself out loud, not registering the unimportant presence of his unknown lackey.

"Um...Sir?" the lackey asked uncertainly.

Orochimaru looked at the lackey, but didn't say anything for the first few minutes, then, "...How much did you hear?"

"Um...Everything?" the ninja squeaked.

Orochimaru nodded. "Uh-huh..." he looked at his pencil, then at the lackey and motioned him over. "Sharpen this for me." he ordered.

"Right away, sir." the lackey run to the pencil sharpener in the corner and did as he was told, then handed the pencil back to his master.

"Thank you..."

"Tatchi, sir. My name is Tatchi."

"Thank you, Tatchi." Orochimaru then stabbed Tatchi three times with his newly sharpened pencil.

The man fell over, dead. Then the snake man pressed a button on the corner of his desk.

A man with medium length silver hair tied back into a ponytail, and wearing glasses walked in. "Yes, Orochimaru-sama?"

"Kabuto, please dispose of the body of..."

"Tatchi...Sir..." the "corpse" said, suddenly standing up again, unharmed.

Orochimaru nodded. "Thank you. Kabuto, please dispose of Tat...chi's...!" Orochimaru whipped around and stared at Tatchi in shock.

"...What?" the man asked.

Orochimaru deadpanned and opened up a drawer, revealing hundreds of sharpened pencils. He grabbed a hand full of them and lunged at Tatchi, impaling every available inch of the man's body with the wooden writing utensils.

A few seconds later a panting Orochimaru stood by his desk, scratching his head in confusion. "...Why won't you die?"

Tatchi, who was now pretty much a mass of red jelly staked to the floor with pencils, groaned in intense pain.

"You...Made me...This way...Sir."

Orochimaru cocked his head to the side. "I did?"

"Yes...Experiment...five-thirty-two...at your...service...sir."

"Oh...okay...Kabuto, get him fixed up."

Kabuto, who had been severely confused by the whole situation, sighed and walked over to Tatchi. "Yes, Orochimaru-sama." he grabbed Tatchi's legs and dragged him out of the room.

Tatchi, who was now hallucinating because of blood loss, didn't really know what was going on. "Hey, 'Buto, where we goin'?" he slurred drunkenly.

Kabuto sighed. "You'd be happier not knowing, so...I'm taking you to the infirmary, where I'll pull out these pencils one by one, very slowly."

Tatchi, in his pitiful state, hadn't registered a word Kabuto said. "Hey 'Buto, why is Orochimaru-sama writing porn about little b-!" before he could finish another pencil lodged itself in his throat, leaving him unable to talk.

Kabuto shook his head and dragged the man the rest of the way out of the office.

(Back With Naruto)

Naruto watched as Seizonsha continued to have her fun, burning everything she could. It had only been a few minutes, but already she could control the intensity of the flames. She could make the fire hot enough to melt rocks, or just hot enough to make leaves curl and die.

Naruto sweatdropped when the little fox stared, mesmerized, by the dancing flames she had created.

"I think we have a future pyromaniac on our hands." he muttered.

Kyuubi shook her head. **"Wow, she's already taking after her 'Onii-san'."**

Naruto snorted. "This from a high level Fire Spirit."

Seizonsha ran back to Naruto and sat in front of him, waiting for him to say something.

"I guess it's time to start your training."

(With Sakura and Tsunami)

Sakura looked around the run down town that was Wave. Most of the buildings were in shambles, cracks and graffiti riddling their walls. The windows of almost every house were broken and/or boarded up. The streets were littered with homeless people of all ages, from senior citizens, to two years olds. Children ran through the streets, which were peppered with broken glass, barefoot, often limping and leaving bloody footprints.

"Kami above..." Sakura whispered to herself.

Tsunami sighed. "Terrible, isn't it? This is what Gato and his thugs have done to our village, our entire country. This is actually one of the better parts of town." she shook her head sadly.

Sakura stared at Tsunami in shock, how could one man do this to an entire country?

She was so wrapped up in her morbid fascination that she didn't noticed the pick-pocket sneaking up on her, attempting to take the purse she was holding for Tsunami.

But right before he could get it, he tripped and grabbed her left ass cheek instead.

Sakura whirled around on the man, righteous feminine fury burning in her eyes. "PERVERT!" she shouted, then unleashed a devastating roundhouse kick to the man's head, sending him into a wall and knocking him out.

Tsunami just looked back, but didn't break stride. This was something she was used to, after all.

Sakura walked over the man and kicked him a couple more times before walking off after the older woman. She carefully stepped over a tree root sticking up in the middle of the road and ran back to Tsunami's side.

She missed the "root" turning black and sinking into the ground.

As they continued on their way, Sakura felt something tugging at the back of her dress and her eyebrow twitched in annoyance.

'Again?' she thought as she turned around. "Per-!" she prepared to shouted, but then saw that the person who was tugging at her was a small girl.

The child was incredibly dirty and malnourished, her long black hair caked with dirt and grime. Sakura saw that the girl had her hands out, waiting for her to drop something into them.

Sakura dug into her kunai pouch and pulled out some candy. "Here you go." she said as she handed them to the child.

"Thank you, Miss!" the child ran into a building, which Sakura assumed was her "home", for lack of a better word.

Sakura sighed. 'We have to help these people, but...' she thought of her teammates and her sensei. 'Kakashi might want to help...but Sasuke-kun is a whole different story, but I'm sure I could convince him with a little prodding. Now Naruto...Is a lost cause.'

(One Hour Later, With Naruto)

Naruto had pretty much ran Seizonsha into the ground with his training. He had gotten her about halfway up a tree before she passed out and fell into his arms.

But that was fine, in Naruto's book, and he let her have the rest she more than earned.

He was currently sitting in the same tree had had been in before, watching Tazuna and his men build the bridge. He scratched Seizonsha behind her ear, which caused her to purr loudly in her sleep.

He saw one of Tazuna's men stop working and walk over to the old bridge builder.

"I'm sorry, Tazuna, but I can't do this any longer. I have a family to think about." the man said.

Tazuna looked at the man. "Takehiro, in all the years I've known you, I've never seen you as a coward. What's changed?"

The man, now known as "Takehiro", shook his head. "The entire country's changed! I can't take this any more, so my family and I are packing up and leaving tomorrow. I won't have my children, or my wife living like this any longer."

Tazuna sighed. "Don't you see, once this bridge is complete, everything will turn around! Gato will no longer be able to control Nami no Kuni! We will be able to trade with Ninja villages, like Konoha, and maybe even create one of our own! When the bridge is done, everything will change for the better." he tried to reason with the man.

Takehiro shook his head sadly. "That's exactly the problem, everything will change, and Gato knows that as well. Do you honestly think that Gato will allow you to finish this thing? He's sent the Demon of the Mist after you! And all you have for protection is an injured ninja and a bunch of kids!" he blatantly pointed at the tree Naruto was in.

Tazuna smirked. "You know something, I made the same mistake you just did when I first met them. And I will agree with you, the pink-haired girl and the emo boy are just kids. But the guy you just pointed out crippled the so-called 'Demon of the Mist' without even breaking a sweat. And his sensei is quite legendary as well, do you know of a man named 'Hatake Kakashi'?"

Takehiro's eyes widened. "That kid beat Momochi?! And his sensei is Sharingan no Kakashi?!" Tazuna nodded smugly and Takehiro sighed. "You really have faith in them, don't you?"

"I have faith in Naruto-san and Kakashi-san, the other two...not so much. But yes, I do have faith in them."

Takehiro looked from Tazuna, to Naruto's tree, to the bridge and the rest of the workers, then back to Tazuna.

"Fine, if you believe in them, then I do too. I'll stay and see this through...no matter how it goes."

Tazuna smiled. "Super! Now let's get back to work."

Naruto watched the interaction between Tazuna and Takehiro with mild interest. The petty squabbles these people had with each other was of no concern to him. But it was interesting to see how Tazuna handled his workers.

He didn't order them around like a slave driver, he let them do what they wanted as long as they worked. He even worked with them, often carrying heavier items than some of the younger workers.

'A Commander that fights with his troops.' Naruto mused. 'If he had ninja training he'd probably make a decent Kage.' he did a quick chakra scan to check for enemies. Finding none, he leaned his head against the tree and drifted into a very light sleep.

(Naruto's Mindscape)

While Naruto was asleep, he was also very bored, so he decided to pester Nightmare and Kyuubi.

"Kyuu-chan! Nightmare!" he called out.

**"Yes Kit?" **Kyuubi answered from inside her cage.

"Where's Nightmare?" Naruto asked.

Kyuubi shrugged. **"He's...around. Why do you ask?"**

"No real reason, I just came here to bother you. I also wanted to bother Nightmare, but since he isn't here, I guess it's just you and me." Naruto sat down in front of the giant bars and stared at Kyuubi, knowing that it annoyed her to no end.

Kyuubi just stared right back, not really knowing what was going on. But when ten minutes passed and Naruto still hadn't said a word, she started to get creeped out.

**"...Stop it." **Kyuubi said.

Naruto continued to stare. "..."

**"..."**

"..."

**"...You're being childish."**

"..."

**"...Stop."**

"..."

**"...Now."**

"..."

**"...DAMMIT! I order you to stop!" **Kyuubi screamed.

"..."

Kyuubi growled and transformed into her fox form, then changed the environment inside the cage into something resembling the pits of hell.

**"STOP STARING!" **the huge fox roared.

But Naruto paid absolutely no heed. "..."

Kyuubi settled down and stared right back into Naruto's eyes. Perhaps she could hypnotize him into stopping?

"..."

**"..."**

After another ten minutes, nothing happened.

Kyuubi started to growl again, this was starting to creep her out, and she didn't like that.

"..."

**"That does it!" **Kyuubi snapped. **"Go bother Nightmare, or something, just stop fucking staring at me!" **

Naruto just stared for a few more minutes, before he rose to his feet, turned on his heel, and walked away without a word.

A few minutes later we find Nightmare struggling to take the helmet of his glittery armor off.

_"Come on, you accursed contraption! Get the hell off my head!"_ he tried to rip it off, but only succeeded in tripping over his own feet and crashing head-first into a wall, where is horn became stuck. _"Shit."_

Then he had an idea; maybe he could use the wall to help him get the helmet off! He put his demonic and normal hands on the wall and pushed back, putting his weight and his power into it. Cracks spider-webbed outwards from the point of impact and the wall started to give, but the helmet didn't.

This is the scene Naruto walked in on. As soon as he saw Nightmare, wearing shiny purple armor with pink flowers, with his head stuck in a wall, he cocked his head so violently that he broke his own neck.

But this was his mindscape, so he couldn't die anyway. He just continued to stare at the demon knight, head laying limply on his shoulder.

Nightmare heard a noise behind him and new all too well what it was. He had snapped more than his fair share of necks in his day. He ripped his horn out of the wall and tried to act like nothing happened, and tried to ignore the one-hundred pound chunk of concrete attached to his head.

_"Oh, hey Naruto, how's it goin?"_ Nightmare chuckled nervously.

Naruto, broken neck and all, actually managed to talk, though it came out as a hissing gurgle.

"What the hell is wrong with you?"

Nightmare noticed Naruto's predicament and pointed at him. _"How the hell are you walking around with a broken neck?!"_

Naruto rolled his eyes. "Do you honestly think I would allow myself to die in my own mind?" he grabbed his head and wrenched it back into place with a sickening crunch.

Nightmare looked around frantically, but then remembered that Kyuubi didn't want Naruto to know that she was free of the seal, so she wouldn't be caught dead outside of her cage while Naruto was here.

_"Look kid, me and Kyuubi made a bet last night, that was why she brought you into the cage. I lost that bet and she made me put this armor on. I've been trying to take it off for hours, but nothing I do works! I've even tried to tear my own head off, nothing! So I need your help."_

Naruto sighed. "You're an idiot, you know that? Betting against a fox is always a bad idea, but against the Queen of Foxes? That will earn you a spot in the Idiot Hall of Fame." he conveniently left out his own bets with the demoness.

Nightmare glared at the boy. _"Yeah, yeah, what-the fuck-ever! Are you gonna help me or not?"_

"What will I get out of it?"

_"I see you're taking after that damned fox. Fine, I'll teach you how to unlock your second form."_

Naruto cocked his head to the side, albeit much gentler this time. "'Second form'?"

_"Think of it as your 'Nightmare Form' or your half-demon form. Right now you're in your human form, but in your half-demon form you'll look a bit like me. But in your full-demon form, you'll look like something straight from the lowest pits of hell."_

"I'll help you. That...thing" Naruto gestured to the armor, "is starting to hurt my eyes." he walked around Nightmare, inspecting the armor for weaknesses. "Does it have an elemental alignment?" he asked.

Nightmare shrugged. _"Don't know, I can't sense them like you and Kyuubi can. I just adapt to whatever's thrown at me."_

Naruto nodded and focused on the armor, trying to find an elemental alignment. "It's very faint, but I think it's Fire. Does it feel hot in there?"

Nightmare nodded. _"The second reason I want it off, it's uncomfortably warm in here. No air vents in this thing."_

"That would make sense, Kyuubi is a Fire Spirit. Alright, I'm gonna have to drench you...a LOT."

Nightmare shrugged. _"Do whatever you need to, just get it off!"_

"You might want to brace yourself for this." Naruto flashed through handseals.

Nightmare scoffed. _"How powerful could it be?"_

"Water Release: Water Dragon Projectile!" a giant ball of water appeared above Naruto's head, then a massive dragon shot out of it.

Nightmare stared at the oncoming beast with wide eyes. _"Well shit."_ was all he said before the water dragon smashed him into the wall.

Naruto looked at a dazed Nightmare and rose an eyebrow. The armor was just had a dented breastplate.

"It looks like I'll need to use something with a lot more power." he flashed through demon seals this time.

Nightmare heard this and held up his hands. _"No!"_

But it was too late. "Demon Skill: Leviathan's Wake!" a monstrous ring of water surrounded Naruto, then blasted outwards, almost sending Nightmare through the wall.

This time Nightmare was almost knocked out, but the armor started to crack and bend to the attacks.

_"Uuuuugh..."_ Nightmare moaned piteously.

Naruto nodded to himself. "About two more of those should do it." he flashed through the same demon seals as before.

Nightmare just groaned as he saw another wave of water coming at him. _'Kyuubi...I hate you SO much.'_

Kyuubi, who had something of a surveillance camera set up in the chamber Nightmare was in, was cackling madly. She loved seeing the rude knight in pain, and it was made all the more satisfying by the fact that it was her Naruto that was doing it.

**"Wait, MY Naruto?" **she furrowed her eyebrows, then grinned evilly. **"Yes, MY Naruto. Though he won't be just mine for long, but I get him first, no matter what." **she licked her lips and laughed maniacally.

For the next three days everything went along normally. Sakura, Sasuke, and even Kakashi took turns watching over Tazuna and the bridge. Naruto had accompanied Tsunami into town once, and only once.

All hell had broken loose when he did, as a couple dozen of Gato's non-shinobi goons decided to cause trouble when they saw Tazuna's daughter. Naruto had created a clone to take Tsunami away while he "dealt with" the goons. About three minutes later half the block was covered in blood and body parts.

Naruto hadn't been nominated to go with Tsunami again after that.

When Naruto had come to the house one night with a little fox perched on his head, the girls had pretty much glomped the kit, and by extension him, screaming "Kawaii!". From that moment on, the Orasu twins were fiercely protective of the little kit. Even when Sasuke made some smartass passing comment, he was answered with an amount of killing intent that only pissed off women could generate, and threats to his manhood.

Naruto had been teased incessantly by Kyuubi when Seizonsha growled at Sasuke, Sakura, Kakashi, and Inari when they were nearby. The demoness kept saying that little Sei-chan was acting more and more like her "Onii-san" each day.

Kakashi had damn near freaked when he saw the fox, he knew instantly that it wasn't a normal one. When he confronted Naruto about it, he had made up a quick and believable lie about "Kyuubi-sama" insisting that he have an animal companion. Kakashi seemed to accept this, but Naruto had a feeling it was only because he could do nothing about it, lest he bring the wrath of Naruto, the twins, and Kyuubi down on himself.

Naruto had succeeded in getting the embarrassing armor off of Nightmare, and had started his "Second Form" training. It was insanely hard, and Naruto had really gotten no further than when he started. Thought it was mainly because transforming took a shitload of demonic chakra, which would bring just about every shinobi and demon in a two-hundred mile radius down on Naruto.

It was now Monday, which held no real significance to anyone besides Naruto, Chigusa, and Kiriko, as it was the day of the "evaluation".

Naruto stood in the same clearing the first evaluation had taken place. Chigusa and Kiriko stood opposite of him, staring hard at only him, looking for anything that would give away his intentions.

Naruto stood motionless as a statue, not even blinking, just staring at the sisters, awaiting their first attacks.

Chigusa and Kiriko exchanged a small, almost unnoticeable glance, then both leapt into action.

Chigusa flung one of her throwing knives at Naruto, who caught it with ease and sighed.

"I really hope you came up with something better than this." he drawled.

Chigusa smirked and pointed at the knife. "Boom."

Naruto rose an eyebrow, then sighed again as he heard the tell-tale hiss of an explosive note. The knife he was holding blew up in his hand, less than two feet from his body, and he disappeared in a cloud of fire, dust and smoke.

"Did we get him?" Kiriko asked, warily looking around for her extremely tricky Nii-chama.

"It's not about whether or not you got me..." Naruto's voice came from behind her.

Kiriko whipped around, but saw nothing. 'Dammit, not again!'

"It's about whether or not it affected me..." Naruto's voice came from above them, but the twins saw no physical sign of him.

"Dammit, cut the bullshit already!" Chigusa unexpectedly yelled.

"...Okay." this was the only warning the sisters got before they were suddenly upside-down in midair.

They didn't even have time to think before boots were planted in their backs and they were sent careening back to earth.

'Shit!' Chigusa thought as she ran through handseals. "Water Release: Exploding Water Shockwave!" she spat out a huge jet of water towards the ground, slowing her descent and creating a miniature lake.

Kiriko caught on and went through the same handseals as he sister had before. She released a jet of water a little smaller than Chigusa's, but more than enough for their plan.

Meanwhile Naruto sat in a tree, observing the twins and wondering what they had in store for him.

"This may prove interesting." he muttered, lengthening his fingernails into razor sharp claws.

Feeling confident, as usual, and wanting to see what the girls were up to, Naruto jumped from the tree and landed on the small lake's surface at the same time the twins did.

As soon as she touched down, Chigusa went on the offensive. She twirled her sais and dashed at Naruto.

Naruto rose an eyebrow. 'She's gotten faster, maybe low Jōnin.' he thought as he avoided three strikes with ease.

He saw Kiriko rush at him out of the corner of his eye and smirked, waiting for her to get closer.

'I've got him this time!' Kiriko thought, unaware that Naruto's mask didn't hinder his vision at all.

Just as she was about to strike, Naruto grabbed Chigusa by her kimono and flung her to his side, and right into Kiriko's ninjatō. Naruto's smirk widened when he saw Chigusa turn out to be a Water Clone.

"That didn't work out very well, did it?" he mocked.

Kiriko scowled and tried to take Naruto's head off with a high roundhouse kick, which Naruto just ducked under. He then leapt up and executed a picture perfect uppercut to Kiriko's chin, sending her flying into the air, where she poofed out of existence.

"A Shadow Clone, eh?" he muttered, then felt something grab his ankles and hold him in position.

Another Kiriko appeared behind him and flashed through a set of ten handseals, then touched Naruto's shoulder. "Chigusa, let go!"

The hands holding Naruto down went back underwater. "Clever girls..."

Kiriko just smirked. "Lightning Release: Closed Circuit!" electricity flowed through her body and into Naruto's, frying him alive.

Kiriko held on for a good three minutes, even though the harm she was causing her Nii-chama was tearing her apart inside, she knew that Naruto didn't want her to hold back at all.

Chigusa, who was watching everything from the safety of a nearby tree, rubbed her chin. Something was wrong with what was happening before her. She knew Kiriko was going all out, but Naruto wasn't exhibiting the normal...behavior of victims of electrocution. Sure he was twitching a lot, and she didn't expect him to scream, but his skin and hair seemed unaffected by the ordeal.

'I don't get it.' Chigusa thought. 'He should have smoke coming out of his ears right now! But it looks like he's just taking it, absorbing the pain...Oh no.' she looked on in horror and tried to warn her sister. "Kiriko! Get away from him!"

Kiriko looked at her sister, who was calling out to her with a look of pure terror on her face.

'W-?!' she didn't have time to even think of escaping before Naruto grabbed her arms and held her in place.

"You should have listened to her." was all he said.

Then his head turned a complete one hundred-eighty degrees so it was facing Kiriko. Then Naruto's mask split open to reveal row upon row of blade-like teeth. "Naruto's" mouth opened wide, wide enough to swallow a human head whole, and his neck grew out until his gaping maw hovered above Kiriko.

**"You REALLY should have listened."** "Naruto" said in a distorted, demonic voice.

Kiriko gulped, she knew this wasn't going to end well.

While all this was going on, the real Naruto was standing on a tree branch near Chigusa's position. He was gauging the skill levels of the twins by putting them in life-or-death situations; situations that would bring out either the best and the worst in a ninja.

'What will you do now?' he thought.

Just when the grotesque head was about to chomp Kiriko's, a throwing knife with an explosive tag attached to it lodged itself in the Naruto clone's neck. It grunted in pain and looked in the direction the knife had been thrown. This distraction was enough for Chigusa to dash in and rip Kiriko from the clone's grip, and not a moment too soon, as the explosive note did what it was made to do and blew off half of the clone's body before it dissolved.

Chigusa took her sister to the opposite side of the small lake and placed her on her feet.

"Kami, that was close! Thanks Onee-chan!" Kiriko smiled brightly.

Chigusa gave her a thumbs up. "Remember what we trained for; we can do this."

Naruto appeared opposite of them with his arms crossed and looking very intimidating, as usual.

"In order to do that, you must think of this as if it was your Genin test. In order to pass my test, you must wound me. Even a little scratch is sufficient, means there's room for improvement, but you have what it takes. It doesn't matter what you do, just make me bleed, and you pass. Simple." Naruto said evenly.

Kiriko smirked and unsheathed her ninjatō once again. "That's it?"

Naruto nodded. "I must warn you, though; you'll have to push yourselves to the limit to even touch me. But to scratch me, you'll have to go beyond those limits. That is the only way to know if you can truly get stronger. Anyone can push themselves to the limit, but surpassing that limit and setting a new one is what separates you from the rest of the herd.

That is how I got my own power; I trained until I couldn't stand, then I forced myself to get up and train more. So come on, come at me with everything you have, and when that fails, push yourself to attack again! After you've done that for the first time, you will understand what power truly is!" Naruto uncrossed his arms, released about five-hundred total pounds of weight, then blurred out of sight.

Chigusa and Kiriko soon followed, though not as fast as Naruto, still quite impressive. They even managed to make Naruto lighten his weights by a hundred more pounds each.

Though this was very bad news for the twins, as even that slight adjustment made Naruto much harder to see, let alone hit. That, combined with his insanely powerful and unpredictable Taijutsu style, made the twins believe that they were truly fighting for their lives.

Chigusa struck with her sais, spearing Naruto through his chest, but then saw that it was only an afterimage.

"Dammit!" she cursed under her breath.

Kiriko wasn't fairing much better, as she, too, was only able to hit afterimages. Every now and then she would feel something tickle or poke her in random places, but she just dismissed it as the wind caused by Naruto's movements.

'Where the hell is he?!' she mentally raged.

Chigusa heard a light whistling noise and instinctively ducked low, barely avoiding Naruto's Air Cutter. She lashed out with one sai, but was too slow and Naruto disappeared once again.

Kiriko looked around frantically, wondering where the next attack would come from. She wracked her brain for anything that could help her and Chigusa.

'Come on, Kiriko, think!' she suddenly had a flashback to when she had talked to one of the Seven Swordsmen of the Mist.

(Flashback)

A young Kiriko sat by a lake, fooling around with her newly activated bloodline. She would activate her Blood Eye and see how many creatures were under the surface. She couldn't "Zoom in", as her sister had put it, yet, but she didn't really need to, as the lake wasn't that deep near the shore.

She giggled when she saw a turtle swim by and bump into a log. Then she saw a small dot that seemed to be getting bigger as time passed. She squinted, but it didn't help, so she leaned in to get a better look. What ever it was, it was shaped like a triangle, and it was getting closer to the surface. It was also coming from the middle of the lake, the deepest part.

"What the..." Kiriko leaned in even further, which would later prove to be a big mistake.

Suddenly, the form of a large shark erupted into her vision as it put on a burst of speed.

She screamed and tried to back up, but only succeeded in falling into the water. She thrashed around in blind fear, she knew the shark was coming, but she could no longer see it.

Just when it was about to tear her apart, a large, blue hand grabbed the back of her shirt and yanked her out of the water.

The shark exploded from the water, intent on biting its prey's head off, but a large, bandaged object smacked it aside with monstrous force.

"Sorry about that, dude, but I can't let you eat her." a deep, rumbling voice said.

Kiriko looked up at her savior, and her eyes widened in terror. She didn't know who was scarier; the man or the shark!

He was extremely tall, maybe six and a half feet, and wore a dark blue cloak. He had spiky dark blue hair; blue skin; strange eyes with very small pupils; what looked like gills on his cheeks; and a grin that showed off his jagged, shark-like teeth. And let's not forget his ridiculously large sword.

"..." Kiriko could do nothing but stare.

The man's grin widened. "What's up, kid?" he didn't wait for an answer, he just walked over to the beached shark.

Kiriko activated her bloodline and looked at the shark, she could see its heart beat slowing down, signifying its approaching death. She could also see that the shark had no eyes, it was completely blind as far as she could tell. But then how did it know exactly where she was?

The blue-skinned man then did something that, to this day, Kiriko didn't have an explanation to: he picked up the shark with one hand, then flung it back into the lake!

The man walked back over to her and grinned at her disbelieving gape. "H-how?" was all Kiriko could muster.

The man chuckled deeply. "It's called strength, kid. If you train hard, you might be able to do something like that someday." he gave her a thumbs up.

Kiriko's mood drastically brightened and she nodded feverishly. "I'll train very hard, Fishy-san!"

The man facefaulted at the little girl's nickname for him. "Um...Just call me 'Kisame', okay kid?"

Kiriko pouted. "Then don't call me 'kid'! My name's 'Kiriko'!"

Kisame chuckled again. "Alright then, Kiriko-chan, I'll bet you're wondering how the shark found you, with it being blind and all." Kiriko nodded. "Well then, you're about to get an early lesson in Biology. You see, every creature on this planet has an electromagnetic field that surrounds them at all times. And all sharks have special organs in their noses that allow them to sense that field, so even if they're blind, they can still find you." he explained.

Kiriko sat there, gaping like a fish out of water, which Kisame found quite amusing.

"...Wow."

Kisame laughed. "Now you know why the shark is the true master of the sea." then he got up and walked off, but not before ruffling Kiriko's hair.

(End Flashback)

Kiriko smirked viciously, she now had at least one advantage over Naruto. She gathered electrical chakra throughout her body, then released a weak electromagnetic pulse.

This pulse was meant to tell her where Naruto was by making his electromagnetic field visible, but it had a completely different effect on the boy.

Naruto was about to attack again, but he suddenly felt nauseous and had to slow down.

'Wh-what the hell?' he thought as he began to get dizzy.

**"Kit, Kiriko just sent out an electromagnetic pulse, which is messing with the bioelectrical signals that your brain uses to communicate with your body. It's throwing off your balance, and making you feel sick. If she does that again, you may lose control of your body momentarily."** Kyuubi said.

Naruto mentally nodded. 'Thanks, Kyuu-chan.' he snapped out of his condition just long enough to dodge a knife thrown by Chigusa.

Chigusa was wondering why Naruto had slowed down, but she wasn't one to complain about an opportunity. She immediately rushed the disoriented boy after she threw her knife, intent on passing his test.

Kiriko saw the effect her pulse had on Naruto, and was puzzled by it, but filed the thoughts away for later. Right now, she had to capitalize on the masked boy's weakness.

Both Kiriko and Chigusa began their combined assault on Naruto, raining blow after blow and slash after slash down on him.

Amazingly, Naruto was able to dodge or block each strike, though his movements were nowhere near as precise and graceful as they normally were.

'Alright, I need to end to put some distance between me and them.' Naruto thought.

He began to spin, using chakra to drag the air with him. "Gufuu Jiten!" he called out.

The Orasu twins were caught off guard by the attack, and were, quite literally, blown away by it. When they righted themselves, about fifty feet away from Naruto, they saw that his attack had created a huge, swirling tower of water.

Both sisters knew Naruto was up to something inside of the tornado, but when they activated their Blood Eyes, they saw that the chakra being used to sustain the tornado was also blocking their view of Naruto.

"Damn." both Chigusa and Kiriko cursed.

Meanwhile, inside of his own personal force of nature, Naruto was indeed up to something. He flashed through a set of handseals and whispered, "Water Release: Water Dragon Projectile." he sent the huge elemental dragon underwater, like a torpedo, towards the twins' positions.

Chigusa shuddered for no apparent reason. "Hey Kiriko, you know that feeling I get when something really bad is going to happen?"

Kiriko nodded. "Yeah?"

"I'm getting that feeling right now."

Chigusa's fears were well founded, because right after she had finished her sentence the water under their feet bulged, then erupted as a massive dragon head made of water shot up and slammed into them both.

The girls were blasted all the way to shore and laid there, completely wiped out from using a technique to create so much water, and the chakra-enhanced punches and kicks they aimed at Naruto.

Just then Naruto appeared in front of them, clapping. "Good, very good. You actually made me decrease my weights by a thousand pounds all together."

Both girls gaped, then looked down in shame. "But it wasn't enough, we still failed." Chigusa sulked.

Naruto cocked his head to the side. "Says who? You both did what I asked you to; you pushed yourselves to the limit and beyond. I could tell that Kiriko was pretty much finished after that trick she pulled on my clone. And you, Chigusa, completely wore yourself out with that prolonged Taijutsu barrage. I had to block about seventy strikes from you, and fifty-six from Kiriko. Pretty amazing, considering that just a week ago Kiriko was the Taijutsu expert."

Kiriko shook her head. "That's all good, but we still failed, we didn't even land a hit on you. And you're not bleeding at all."

Naruto rolled up the left sleeve of his black muscle shirt and tilted his head to the side. These actions revealed two cuts, one on his left bicep and one on his neck, both leaking thin trails of blood.

"As you can see, you both did fine. You can go back to Tazuna-san's house and rest up if you wish. I'll be training for the rest of the day." Naruto nodded to the twins.

Kiriko and Chigusa beamed at Naruto and glomped him, squealing like fangirls.

They both kissed Naruto on opposite cheeks and waved as they ran off. "Later Nii-chama!" they chorused.

Naruto shook his head. "Now I know why the Inuzuka boy said that having all female siblings makes you weird. I swear I'm getting too nice." he mumbled to himself.

**"Yes, you are. We both know you made those scratches yourself. Why you give them false hope, I'll never know."**

'No, it's not false hope, I just don't want them to be depressed. I've lived my whole life around people who are either depressed, angry, angsty, or a combination of those, and I'm tired of it. If I'm going to have sisters, I will not have them moping around all the time thinking that they're worthless...I know what that feels like.'

Kyuubi sighed, though on the inside she was doing her little victory dance. **'He's finally showing emotions! I knew he could be kind if he really wanted to be.' **she thought.

That day nothing very interesting happened. Chigusa and Kiriko played with Seizonsha for a while before they went to sleep. Tsunami just cleaned the house, like she normally did when she had nothing else to do. Inari just did his whole "Doom and Gloom" routine, as usual. Sasuke trained with Kakashi, they had taken to sparring on the sides of trees. Sakura watched Tazuna while he worked on the bridge, then watched her precious "Sasuke-kun" train. And lastly, Naruto trained himself into the ground and passed out from a combination of his own fatigue and the peaceful surroundings.

(In The Morning)

A young girl walked into a clearing carrying a small basket. She was around fifteen years old and wore a pink yukata with cherry blossom petal designs on it. Her long, dark brown hair swayed behind her as she walked towards the place she knew so well.

'Those herbs are around here somewhere.' Haku thought.

She noticed that most of the trees in the area were damaged, and the further she walked, the more extensive the damage became. She eventually came across a human-sized black mass. Haku could see it rising and falling evenly, indicating that whatever it was, it was asleep at the moment.

Feeling a little bolder, Haku took a few more steps towards the sleeping thing and caught a glimpse of a porcelain-white mask.

Her breath caught in her throat. 'Him!' she knew she had to be wary of this boy, for all she knew he was already awake and watching her. But she assumed that he didn't know who she was, so she acted like any normal, naive civilian girl would.

Haku grabbed the boy's shoulder and shook him. "Hey, hey mister, you shouldn't sleep out here."

The boy twitched. "Why?"

"You might catch a cold."

Naruto turned his head to face her. "I never get sick, It's not possible for me." he slowly rose to his feet.

Haku then saw that the boy was about five inches taller than her, as she was five foot two and she could tell he was around five foot seven.

Naruto already knew who the girl was, even before she entered the clearing, but he decided to play along for the time being.

"So, why are you here?" he cracked his neck and rotated his shoulders a bit.

This made Haku tense a little, it was like he was loosening up for a fight.

"I-I'm just here to gather herbs for...someone."

Naruto nodded. 'For Zabuza no doubt.' "Then I assume that what you are looking for is over there." he pointed at a small patch of odd looking plants.

While listening to his voice, Haku could help but blush, but she had no idea why.

'W-what wrong w-with me?' she thought frantically, this wasn't normal.

Naruto noticed her blush and rose an eyebrow, he could smell something in the air.

'What is that?...Smells kind of like honey and...bananas?' (2)

Inside of her cage, Kyuubi was snickering evilly, if that's possible. **"I don't know, but it makes me kind of hungry."**

Naruto nodded, it was making him hungry, but for what he didn't know. 'Why is she blushing like that? I haven't done anything.'

Kyuubi shrugged. **"Maybe she just finds you sexy." 'I know I do.'** she shuddered a little at that last thought.

What Naruto didn't know was that Kyuubi happened to think Haku would make a nice wife for him and she was making his body release pheromones. They were the cause of Haku's odd behavior.

Naruto sweatdropped. '...Okay...'

Haku, deciding that she needed to put some distance between her and the masked boy, started picking herbs.

But eventually the silence got to her and she decided to make small talk.

"So, what were you doing our here?" she asked.

Naruto shrugged. "Training." came his simple answer.

Haku nodded. "So, you're a ninja?"

Naruto nodded. "Yes."

"Why are you training? You look pretty strong to me." Haku had no idea what made her add that last part, something inside her was telling her to get on the boy's good side, if he had one.

Naruto shrugged again. "There is always room for improvement, no matter how strong you are."

Haku smiled. "Are you training to protect someone?"

Naruto cocked his head to the side. "I'm not following you."

"I mean do you have anyone precious to you that you are training to protect?"

"No." Naruto answered without hesitation. "I have no one to protect."

Haku felt a strange stinging pain in her chest. "Are you truly alone, or are you just that coldhearted?"

Naruto looked Haku straight in the eyes. "I've been alone my entire life, I've only had one person by my side, and I didn't even know about her until six years ago."

Kyuubi sighed. **"Kit, think about what you just said. Think about all the people that have been nice to you, the ones that have helped you."**

Naruto thought back and faces of different people flashed before his eyes.

A smiling old man with a pipe, wearing formal robes. '...Old Man Hokage.'

A doctor with one eye trying frantically to save the life of a young, dying Naruto, telling him not to give up. ' Mirano.'

Two people, an old man and a teenage girl, smiling at him while standing in front of a ramen stand with a sign that said "Ichiraku's Ramen". 'Teuchi and Ayame.'

An ANBU with an eagle mask giving him a thumbs up. 'Mitara.'

Two more ANBU chatting and laughing with him. 'Inaro and Isaro.'

A purple-haired woman in her early to mid twenties glomping him. 'Anko.'

An indigo-haired young girl with pearl-like eyes watching him from afar and coming to his aid when she thought he was in danger. 'Hinata.'

A teenage girl with fiery red hair, nine crimson tails, and cute little fox ears grinning and giving him a "V for victory" sign. 'Kyuu-chan.'

Two girls that looked alike besides their different heights, battle kimonos and hairstyles, glomping him as Anko had. 'Chigusa and Kiriko.'

And finally, a little fox kit running up to him, tail wagging and yipping happily. 'Sei-chan.'

Haku noticed that Naruto seemed to be in a bit of a trance, and waved her hand in front of his face.

"Hello?" she asked, but got no answer.

About two minutes later Naruto spoke again. "You know, in light of new developments, I do have a few...'precious people'. But only three that can't defend themselves. Nevertheless, I would give my life to protect them all."

Haku smiled and returned to her herbs, turning her back on the masked boy. "That's nice to hear."

Naruto crossed his arms over his chest. "So, do you have any...'precious people'?" he was still trying to process what that phrase really meant.

Haku hesitated for a bit, wondering what she could say without blowing her cover.

"Yes...I do have precious people. But two of them have...gone missing, and one isn't feeling too well."

Naruto nodded. "I suppose Zabuza wouldn't be feeling all too good after that ass-kicking I gave him." he drawled.

Haku's breath caught in her throat for the second time in less than ten minutes and she slowly reached into her yukata for her senbon.

"I-I have n-no idea what you're t-talking about." she said shakily.

Naruto scoffed. "We both know that's bullshit, Hunter-san. Do you really want to do that?" he asked, directing a bit of concentrated killing intent at the girl.

Haku froze like a statue when she felt the killing intent, she knew how powerful the boy was, and knew that provoking him would only get her an early meeting with the Shinigami.

"S-so, how did y-you figure it o-out?"

Naruto grunted. "I knew who you were before you entered the clearing. But don't worry, if I wanted you dead, those herbs would have been drenched in your blood already."

Haku nodded, not doubting the boy's words for a second.

"Tell Zabuza that I have a proposition for him and the rest of you. You all can come back to Konoha with me and my team, as long as you pledge your loyalty to me. You will be under the protection of my clan, and all of your transgressions will be wiped clean."

Haku's eyes widened. "Do...Do you really mean that?"

Naruto nodded. "Chigusa and Kiriko have already taken my offer. Once we make it to Konoha, it will be official, then no one can do anything about it."

Haku could feel tears welling up in her eyes. "Chigusa and Kiriko are alright?"

"Yes, they are resting at Tazuna-san's house as we speak."

"How will you pull this off? I'm sure Konoha isn't going to just welcome five missing-nin with open arms, especially an A-class one like Zabuza-sama."

"Yes, Zabuza's reputation will make this all the more difficult. But as it's said; 'Nothing easy is worth doing'."

"How do you suppose I tell this to Zabuza-sama? He's naturally going to be suspicious of it all."

"I know, and I've already thought of that. That's why I'm making this offer in the form of a battle. I win, and he swears his allegiance to me. He wins, and he gets away with his life."

Haku nodded. "Will your team know of this?"

Naruto shook his head. "No, and if everything goes as planned, they never will. I don't trust them at all, especially Kakashi. If I tell him about this, then he'll report it to the Hokage, then he'll report it to the Council. The Council hates me with a passion, as I do them, for reasons that I can't and won't tell you or anyone else that doesn't already know. The last thing I need is to give them a reason to banish or execute me for treason."

Haku nodded and rose to her feet. Dusting off her yukata, she turned to Naruto and bowed.

"Thank you..."

"Naruto, Namikaze Naruto."

"Thank you, Namikaze-san. My name is Haku."

Naruto tilted his head towards her. "Until we meet again, Haku-san."

Both warriors went their separate ways, Naruto to see what the twins and Seizonsha were up to, and Haku to see if Zabuza was awake and tell Kitoro the good news.

Naruto smirked behind his mask. 'Everything is going better than I planned. Though it will be much harder to be granted free roam from Konoha now that I'm a clan head.'

Kyuubi smirked as well. **"Ahh, but Kit, you're also the last of your clan."**

'Yeah, so?'

**"Which means you have to revive your clan, which means you will have to take multiple mates."**

Naruto faltered in his stride, almost falling on his face. 'WHAT?!'

It was at this moment Nightmare decided to speak up. _"WHOO-HOO! You will finally know what it's like to get laid! I'm...I'm so proud of you!"_ he started sniffling.

Naruto sweatdropped. 'Both of you...Shut it.'

But Nightmare ignored the warning. _"I was going through some of your memories a while back, and you've got some HOT chicks in that village of yours. Kurenai, Anko, even the ones that are your age are hot! And that girl you just met, she's hot! A-!"_ Naruto cut off his mental link with Nightmare.

'Stupid demon, always butting in where he isn't wanted.'

Kyuubi was trying her damnedest to keep from cackling, settling for low giggling.

**'Soon, Naru-kun, soon you will be mine.' **she walked over to her huge bed and laid down, her right hand creeping under the sheets. **'And I can't wait.' **she shuddered and moaned as she touched herself.

XXXX

And that's it for Chapter Thirteen.

I will be finishing the Wave Arc next chapter, for those of you that were wondering. I'll admit it's been going a bit long, but my version of it is much more interesting, no?

Here's something I wanted to clear up before it becomes an issue: Ninja Rankings.

E-class: Academy Student

D-class: Genin

C-class: Chūnin

B-class: Jōnin

A-class: ANBU

S-class: Black Ops ANBU

SS-class: Kages

And another thing, Kakashi _was_ mid ANBU level, since he was the captain of a normal ANBU squad. His skills have slipped a bit since then. High ANBU are the Black Ops, who will appear frequently later in the story.

(1) In this story, clones, no matter the variety, can't actually feel pain unless they are created with that feature. But, because they are designed to perfectly mimic the original(in most cases), they must act like they do.

(2) It's a proven fact that certain scents you have can change depending on what you eat. If you eat apples all the time, you'll smell like apples, regardless of what you do. But this takes years to happen.

Oh, and if anyone could tell me exactly how far I can go with lemons on this website as far as detail goes, that'd be great.

Read and Review, Jason Out!


	14. Crimson Waves: The End Of An Era

I said I would end the Wave Arc in this chapter, so I really had to stretch this thing out. It could have been almost three more normal chapters!

And now for my explanation of my ranking system.

I made it because of the huge power gaps that you see in the series. For example: Kakashi and Itachi. Kakashi is an A-class ninja according to the series, and Itachi is an S-class. Only one level of difference, yet Itachi can beat Kakashi by looking at him funny. That's a fucking canyon of a power gap!

So I had to put something in between those levels and change some things up a bit.

And if you're wondering, Kakashi IS high Jōnin B-class in this story. I know he was an ANBU Captain, so he should be A-class. But that was years ago, and he hasn't trained at all to maintain or surpass that level, so he's just gotten weaker. He still has the mind of an ANBU Captain, but his skills have dulled to Jōnin.

Now enjoy the chapter!

XXXX

(Zabuza's Hideout)

Haku returned to see Zabuza sitting on the edge of his bed, his head down and his sword in the corner. Haku could see his right arm twitch every few seconds, and she guessed he was itching to fight Naruto.

"It's good to see you awake, Zabuza-sama." Haku smiled.

Zabuza just grunted. "You took longer than you usually do, did something happen?"

Haku's smile widened. "As a matter of fact, something did happen. Where's Kitoro? He needs to hear this too."

"I'm here, what's up?" Kitoro appeared in the doorframe.

Haku smiled at him. "I met someone that may be able to finally get us out of this lifestyle!"

Kitoro cocked his head to the side, Zabuza just looked up slightly. "Go on."

"But...you won't like him, Zabuza-sama." Haku said.

Zabuza sighed. "It's that kid, isn't it?"

Haku's eyes widened. "H-how?"

"I only have problems with the Sandaime Mizukage, the remaining Seven Swordsmen, and that kid. And, as far as I know, only one of them is in the area."

"W-well, he said he had a proposition for us. All we have to do is pledge our loyalty to him and go to Konoha with his team, then we'll be under the protection of his clan, which means no one can ever come after us without risking a war." Haku explained.

Kitoro, who had been silent until now, voiced his skepticism. "Wait a minute, what's the catch? We gotta be his servants or somethin'? One: I ain't doin' that. Two: how do we know he's telling the truth?"

Haku smiled again. "Because, he said that Chigusa and Kiriko already accepted his offer."

Both Kitoro and Zabuza's eyes widened. Those two weren't dead? They were certain the boy would kill them.

'Maybe it's because of their bloodline.' Zabuza thought.

'Maybe he turned them into his personal love-slaves, I know I would.' Kitoro thought with a mental perverted giggle.

Zabuza shook his head. "If he was a real Konoha Hunter-nin, I might be inclined to take that deal. But he isn't. We don't know jack shit about that kid, and I don't trust him at all."

"I'm not all that bad, am I?" a cold, monotonous voice drifted into their ears from the darkness of a corner.

Zabuza's eyes narrowed when he saw the white Hunter-style mask. "You."

Naruto stepped into the light. "Yes, me."

Haku, who damn near had a coronary, sighed in mild relief, then rose an eyebrow in confusion.

"How did you find this place?"

Naruto scoffed. "Simple, I shadowed you."

Kitoro, who was, quite frankly, scared shitless of the masked boy, finally found his voice.

"Why are you here?"

Naruto shrugged. "To make sure Haku-san delivered my message, and to convince you myself if need be."

Zabuza crossed his arms. "And how, exactly, were you planning on doing that?"

"Simple, appeal to your massive ego."

Zabuza growled. "Watch it."

"Or what? You can't do anything to me in that state."

Zabuza flipped him off. "Eat it."

Naruto didn't miss a beat. "No thanks, I'm straight. Anyway, this is my proposal: we will fight it out on the bridge, to put on a show as well as decide what will happen to you all. If I win, you all pledge your loyalty and come to Konohagakure with me."

"And if I win?" Zabuza asked, liking Naruto's idea.

"What do you want?"

Zabuza thought about it for a minute, then grinned evilly behind his bandages. "If I win, you pledge your loyalty to me."

Naruto nodded. "Deal." he held out his head.

Zabuza shook it. "Deal." he applied more pressure.

Naruto rolled his eyes behind his mask and squeezed down on Zabuza's hand like a vice.

Zabuza winced as he felt the bones in his hands pop and shift a little, nearly breaking under the masked boys strength.

Both ninja let go and Naruto backed into the shadowed corner. "My team won't know of this, so we'll have to keep this real, which means everyone has to fight someone."

Haku's hand shot up just before Kitoro's. "I call dibs on the Uchiha!"

Kitoro hissed at Haku. "Damn you!"

"So, you can either fight Kakashi, or Sakura: the Pink-haired Banshee." Naruto drawled.

Kitoro sighed. "I guess I'll take the Copy-nin. The girl's too weak to bother with."

Naruto nodded. "We'll meet on the bridge in two days, so you have until Thursday to prepare." he reached into his kunai pouch and pulled out three bags, which he tossed at all present.

"What are these?" Haku asked.

"Those are special pills made from herbs that only grow in a small clearing near Training Ground Forty-Seven in Konoha, otherwise known as the S-class sector of the Forest of Death. Only ANBU, the Sannin, and the Hokage are _officially_ allowed there. Those pills will heal almost any wound in less than twenty-four hours, but you can only take one every seven days, otherwise it will kill you." Naruto explained.

"Why are you giving these to us? Why not your teammates?" Haku asked.

Naruto shrugged. "I want Zabuza at one-hundred percent when we fight. And honestly, I could care less if my..._teammates_ die." he looked at Haku. "Please, try your best to kill the Uchiha, it will save me the trouble of doing it when he becomes too much for me to stand. Oh, and he activated his Sharingan during his brief encounter with Hachimo, but I deactivated it before it could become permanent. It will activate again when he faces another life-or-death situation, so be on guard."

Haku nodded. "I...I'll be sure to do that, Naruto-san."

Naruto nodded. "By the way, my name is Namikaze Naruto. Until we meet again." he tilted his head and disappeared into the shadows.

Zabuza scratched his chin. 'Namikaze...I swear I've heard that clan name somewhere before.'

Kitoro scratched his head. "So...What now? Apparently Zabuza accepted the offer, but what about us?"

"You didn't hear a word he said, did you?" Haku asked.

"...Not really, I was too busy being scared."

"Whatever. We are Zabuza's subordinates, so whatever agreements he enters into include us as well. Just look at our contract with Gato, only Zabuza agreed to it, but here we all are."

Kitoro just shrugged and left, mumbling about finding some food.

Zabuza looked at Haku suspiciously. "Why do you trust that kid so much?"

Haku turned away from Zabuza so he couldn't see her blush. "I...umm...I d-don't really know...I just...do."

Zabuza nodded slowly, trying desperately not to tease the girl to death. But in his head he was having a field day.

'Haku has a crush! Haku has a crush!' a little chibi version of Zabuza sang as he danced around in the original's mind.

Zabuza snorted, trying to cover up his laughter, and laid back down. He then took to staring at the bag of pills that Naruto had left him and the others.

"...Everyday brings something new."

(With Naruto)

**"So, what do we do now?"**

'Simple, Kyuu-chan; we wait. That's all we really can do.'

**"Oh? And when did you become 'Mr. Patience'?"**

'When the situation calls for it, I can wait for as long as is necessary.'

Kyuubi just sighed and went to sleep, images of Naruto and herself doing things that wouldn't be possible for a human couple invading her dreams.

When Naruto got back to Tazuna's house, he instantly "attacked" by Seizonsha, who was now clinging to his mask. Naruto sweatdropped when two panting Orasus stopped before him.

"Whew!... Thanks...Namikaze-sama...We've...been trying...to get...her off of...the ceiling...for an hour now." Chigusa wheezed.

"Yeah...why'd you...have to...teach...her tree...running?" Kiriko looked about ready to drop right where she stood.

"...You mean I missed that?" Naruto asked.

The twins facefaulted, and Seizonsha made a series of yips and barks that sounded suspiciously like laughter.

When the twins regained their footing, Naruto motioned them outside. "Come, we have something to discuss."

The twins looked at each other, then followed their brother outside.

Naruto told them everything that had transpired between him and the group they used to be a part of.

Kiriko and Chigusa were ecstatic. "We get to see Haku-chan again!" they jumped for joy as they came back into the house.

Naruto sweatdropped when Seizonsha, who didn't know what was going on, joined in the fun, hopping up and down on his head.

He sighed. 'What am I going to do with these three?'

_"Lighten up and join the party!"_ Nightmare yelled.

'I guess I could-HEY! How'd you get passed the mental block?!'

_"...Shit, I blew my cover."_ was all Nightmare said before Naruto placed another block on top of the first one.

Naruto plucked Seizonsha off of his head and put her on his shoulder.

The little kit purred and rubbed against Naruto's cheek. "Onii-san!" she greeted.

It was at this moment that everyone in the house stopped what they were doing. Kakashi dropped his porn; Sakura dropped her jaw; Sasuke, who'd been scratching his head, almost ripped his bandana off in shock; Inari ran upstairs; Tsunami dropped some plates she was carrying; Tazuna dropped his coffee and burned himself; and the twins fainted.

Naruto ignored the reactions and stared at the fox. "...How?"

Seizonsha responded in human language, but Naruto could tell she was straining.

"I...been...practicing!" she replied.

Naruto nodded and scratched her head. "That's good, but try to keep from doing that in front of others. As you can see, it's pretty weird to see a non-summon animal talking."

Seizonsha nodded and yipped, "Okay, Onii-san!"

After that everyone wanted to know what was up with the little fox. But Naruto would say nothing and, for all intents and purposes, told them to fuck off. At least his teammates got that. Tazuna just wrote it off as another "Weird Ninja Thing" to add to his ever growing list, and Tsunami just thought it made the kit all the cuter.

When the twins woke up Naruto told them all he could without revealing what he and Seizonsha were. Chigusa and Kiriko accepted Naruto's explanation, but they could tell he was hiding something. But they knew that whatever it was would be told to them when the time was right. Until then they would help the fox become more fluent with human words.

The rest of the day passed without incident. Though it was slightly odd when Naruto didn't leave to train or just wander about like he normally did. Chigusa and Kiriko slept most of the day away, then spent the remainder of it playing with Seizonsha.

The day was uneventful for most, but that night was a completely different story.

As everyone sat at the dinner table, they chatted about random things. The weather, different kinds of sake, even porno was a topic that had come up more than once, much to the dismay of everyone besides Kakashi and Tazuna.

But when Inari came downstairs, many could tell that all hell was about to break loose.

"Why?" the little boy said, his teary eyes hidden by his bucket hat.

Naruto sighed. 'What is this kid, a parrot?'

Sasuke, who was too much of a jackass to keep his thoughts to himself, spoke up.

"What now, come to annoy us again?" he snorted.

Inari snapped. "WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?! Why are you training to fight someone like Gato?! You're just going to get yourselves killed! No one can beat him, least of all you people!"

Naruto, who had used Inari's distraction to finish his meal, decided enough was enough.

"Shut up. You're underestimating our abilities, and overestimating Gato's. He is nothing but a fat midget hiding behind his money and his mercs. The sooner you realize that, the sooner you can get on with your life and stop bothering people with your melodramatic babble."

Inari glared at Naruto. "What do you know?! You've probably lived your entire life in comfort, never having to worry about anything! YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT PAIN AND SUFFERING!"

That did it. It was at this moment that hell escaped from its bonds and broke through the gates. The temperature in the room dropped by several degrees, and everything started to vibrate. Plants were dying both inside and out of the home, and everyone at the table was having trouble breathing. Tazuna was about two seconds from a heart attack, Tsunami was turning blue from lack of oxygen, and Inari had pissed himself.

The sheer amount of chakra and killing intent was so great that it was becoming an oppressive force by itself, rendering them all unable to move. This was the kind of thing that would make a Hyūga's head explode, or at least make their eyes melt.

Sasuke's instincts were screaming at him, telling him to get away from Naruto, but his body refused to move. Sakura was literally on the floor in the fetal position, having never even heard of something like this. Even Kakashi was struggling with himself. One part of him was telling him to run away and never return to this unholy place, and another was telling him to stop Naruto before he leveled half of Nami no Kuni.

Chigusa and Kiriko were huddled together, Seizonsha in between them. None of them had ever seen or felt anything as terrifying as their surrogate brother was now. Chigusa and Kiriko now saw just what Naruto was capable of, and knew that he could probably beat the Sandaime Mizukage with pure killing intent alone.

Dark purple chakra whipped around Naruto in all directions, smashing random objects. The windows started to vibrate so fast that they cracked, some even shattered. The wallpaper was peeling and rolling up the walls. And, though no one could see it, animals outside were rolling over and dying spontaneously. Owls dropped from the night sky, and the hearts of mice literally exploded as they ran by.

Strong winds suddenly blew through the house, knocking things over, and even slicing them apart like blades. The food on the table started to bubble, then spontaneously combusted. Picture frames melted, and the windows warped from the intense heat. Then all of the lights in the house blew out, shrouding the entire structure in darkness.

But everyone could see phantom shapes darting around in the shadows. Twisted, vaguely human silhouettes seemed to sprout from the walls like nightmarish vegetation. Strange, incoherent whispers echoed throughout the room, like hundreds of voices speaking all at once.

Naruto lifted his head, his eyes glowing a furious crimson and leaking some kind of red fog.

"I know nothing of pain and suffering? **I FUCKING KNOW NOTHING OF PAIN AND SUFFERING?! Have you ever been hated for something you had no control over? Have you been hunted down like an animal on your birthday and beaten within and inch of you life?! Were you ever forced to kill over thirty people at the age of four just to keep them from throwing you off a cliff?! Did you have over fifty assassination attempts made on you when you were only three months old?! Do you know what it's like not to have anyone? To never be accepted by anyone, no matter how hard you try or what you do? Do you know what it's like to fear for your life every second of every day? Do you know what it's like to be burned alive by the people of your own village? Do you know what it's like to have to work with the man that just sat there and watched it happen? Well, DO YOU?!" **Naruto slammed his hands down on the table, breaking it in half like it was made of dry rotted toothpicks. **"ANSWER ME BEFORE I RIP OUT YOUR SPINE AND USE IT FOR A COAT HANGER!"**

Inari collapsed on the floor screaming, "NO! I DON'T KNOW!" over and over again.

"Damn right you don't. Little ungrateful whelp." Naruto walked out the door, tossing a bag over his shoulder to Tazuna. "That's for the damages."

Tazuna opened the bag and stared, bug-eyed, at the contents. "Holy shit! This is Tenshu Chiri(God Dust)!"(1)

No one else heard what he said, they were still too shaken by what they had just seen and felt. Even Kakashi was contemplating hiding in a closet somewhere, like a little child. The only time he had felt anything even remotely like that was when the Kyuubi attacked. But Naruto was even worse because all of the killing intent and chakra was concentrated in the area that he was in.

Naruto's teammates were thoroughly convinced that he could make even the Hokage drop dead with that ungodly killing intent.

Eventually, once the terror and shock had worn off enough to move, Sakura stood shakily, clinging to Kakashi for support.

"K-K-K-Kaka-sensei, w-was w-what N-N-Naruto said t-true?"

Kakashi could only nod. "If anything, he toned it down."

Everyone's eyes widened at this new revelation. How is it even possible for any human to go through something like that and survive?

'Burned alive, eh? Probably why he wears that mask.' Sasuke thought, then an evil thought came to his mind. 'I'll get his mask off and expose him as the freak he really is!' he let an evil grin cross his features for a brief moment as he thought of his newest quest for revenge.

Kakashi sighed and looked at a still crying Inari. "I wish I could tell you he didn't mean that, but even _I_ can't make up a lie _that_ bad."

Under normal circumstances everyone would have sweatdropped at the scarecrow's statement, but the circumstances were FAR from normal.

"S-shouldn't w-we go a-and find h-him?" Sakura struggled to get her stuttering under control.

Kakashi shook his head. "Naruto doesn't particularly like us in the first place. With the state he's in now, do you really want to get in his way?"

Sakura and Sasuke shook their heads frantically.

'...Why do I feel like that was just a small dose of what's to come?' Kakashi narrowed his eye at the doorway that Naruto had left through.

(With Naruto)

Naruto stalked through the forest, killing things with each step he took. Trees lost their leaves and shriveled, like a fast-forward of their life cycles. The grass wilted and crumbled as Naruto stepped on it. Small woodland animals stopped cold as they died on their feet. Even larger animals, like deer, fell to the ground and convulsed violently as they went into cardiac arrest.

But Naruto paid no mind to his surroundings, he was just too pissed.

"How dare the little bitch of a kid tell me I know nothing!" he swung his arm to the side to swipe at a tree, which snapped and fell, unable to handle the tremendous force.

Kyuubi was thinking of a way to defuse the situation. **'At this rate he could kill the entire forest!' "Kit, you need to calm down! That child had no idea what he was talking about, he knew nothing about you."**

This just seemed to make Naruto angrier, if the chakra spike was anything to go by.

"Exactly! He knew nothing about me, which makes it all the more insulting that he would say something like that!" he kicked another tree, sending it to the forest floor.

Then Nightmare spoke up. _"Kid, if you keep releasing chakra like that, you'll eventually go into your second form. If that happens, you'd better get ready for a bloodbath and the fight of your life."_

Naruto momentarily stopped his rampage. "What do you mean?"

_"The amount of chakra you're releasing has no doubt alerted some high-level shinobi, and the half-demon nature of it has most likely caught the attention of more than a few demons. If those humans and demons come looking for you and run into each other, it's going to turn into a massacre that neither side will survive. And if they do find you before they find each other, you're going to be in some deep shit. You may be strong enough to take on anyone below Kage level in your second form, but you can only maintain it for so long because it would be your first time. It's like sex; virgins never last very long."_

Naruto rolled his eyes. "I don't know why I didn't see that coming."

Kyuubi giggled. **"Neither do I."**

Naruto's anger was almost completely forgotten, allowing him to return to his normal, apathetic state.

_"You see what I did there?"_ Nightmare chuckled.

Kyuubi shook her head. **"Somehow you always manage to piss people off, but make them laugh at the same time. I don't know how you do it."**

_"It's simple: I'm just that awesome!"_

Even though he couldn't see it, Naruto just knew Nightmare was striking some cheesy pose.

"Whatever you're going in there, stop it."

_"...You're no fun."_

"Whatever." Naruto looked at his surroundings.

He was now standing in the clearing where he had found the Soul Edge's shrine, but now the area was dead for another reason.

Naruto suddenly felt an incredibly strong presence behind him and whirled around, Black Soul drawn. He saw a tall man wearing a black robe/coat about twenty feet from him.

"Who are you?" Naruto asked.

The man looked up, but the hood he was wearing kept his face from view. The man began to chuckle softly, then he became progressively louder, until his laughter boomed throughout the clearing.

"I...Am...**The Darkness.**" the man disappeared without another word, no sound, no movement, just _gone_.

Naruto looked around cautiously, there was no way someone that powerful could completely mask his chakra signature.

'...Kyuubi, who was that?'

Kyuubi didn't answer right away, contemplating what to say as dark memories from her past came to the surface.

**"He was...a very strong demon that I used to know...His name is Shizaru, otherwise known as 'The Darkness'. He is the only other being in this world that can travel to the Shadow Realm."**

Naruto's eyes widened. 'You mean he can follow me no matter where I go?'

**"No, the only way he could get to your sector of the Shadow Realm is to go through a portal you made, or use a tremendous amount of power to rip a hole in between the sectors and force a portal to open up. But I don't think Yoru-chan would let him do that."**

'Who?'

**"Yoruyonaka, the Boss Darkness Spirit. She has supreme authority in the Shadow Realm, so nothing gets done there without her say-so."**

Naruto looked around one more time, doing one last sweep of the area to make sure that "Shizaru" character was truly gone.

'But I've done plenty of things there, yet I haven't seen her once.'

Kyuubi let out a low giggle. **"You probably have, but she likes to hide her presence. She can turn into anything she wants at anytime she wants to, so she could have been a tree, or even a blade of grass. I know she was watching you, even though neither of us saw or felt her, I know she was."**

Naruto sheathed the Black Soul. 'Oh? And how do you know that?'

**"She watches all the...**_**unnatural**_** denizens of her world. Over the last few millennia some of the Darkness users, human and demon alike, have been getting a bit...**_**overzealous**_** in their ways. Some going so far as to challenge her for title of 'Boss Spirit'. Obviously, none have succeeded, but Shizaru was the only one to ever even come close. And he's even stronger now that he's been...**_**training**_** for the past five-hundred years."** Kyuubi knew that Shizaru hadn't been training, he had been working for _him_.

'Fair enough, but why is he after me?' Naruto asked.

**"It's not him that's after you, it's his master..."** Kyuubi trailed off, just the mere thought of _him_ brought back her most horrid memories.

'And who would that be?'

**"Remember when I told you I only had three wounds that left scars?" **Naruto nodded. **"Well; one was from the Yondaime; one was from the Eight-Headed Snake, Yamata no Orochi; and the last was inflicted by Shizaru's master...who was once my master as well." **Kyuubi winced as she felt a phantom pain coming from the long scar on her back.

Naruto could sense that Kyuubi didn't wish to elaborate further, so he dropped the subject. He cut off Kyuubi's part of the mental link, so he could hear her, but she couldn't hear him.

'Hmm, perhaps this "Master" has something to do with what the Shinigami told me. He did say I would be fighting opponents above Kyuubi's level.' he opened the mental link again. 'Meh, this just means I have to train harder.'

Kyuubi sighed. **'I wish it were that simple, Naruto, I really do...Arcarian, what are you up to now? And what does it have to do with my Naru-kun?'**(2)

Naruto looked around one more time before leaving the clearing. "I welcome the challenge."

And so, the rest of the night and the next day seemed like a blur to Naruto. Funny, considering it was probably the most boring time of his life.

The only remotely interesting events that came to pass were Seizonsha learning the make complete sentences, and Sasuke's ego raising by a few more bars. Oh, Naruto couldn't wait to reveal both the Uchiha and Hatake's new hairstyles, he needed a good laugh.

It may have been boring, but it was also quite strange as well. Everyone seemed to actively avoid Naruto; only Chigusa, Kiriko, and Seizonsha even dared to get near him. Though it wasn't surprising, girls always had a soft spot for people who'd had hard lives. So, the twins pretty much hung around Naruto all the time and hugged him at every opportunity.

The open displays of affection were something that Naruto wasn't used to in the least. When he was hugged at anytime in the past, he'd always have to be wary of a knife being plunged into his spinal cord, or some other vital organ.

This was when Naruto's newest "tenant", Nightmare, realize just how truly messed up Naruto was. He couldn't even have someone hug him without getting paranoid. But Nightmare wasn't really any help in that department, as his solution to Naruto's problem was, of course: get laid.

It was now Thursday morning, and Naruto was getting extremely antsy. He would twitch every now and then, and looked about ready to attack anything that moved. This was about as close to hyperactive as he got.

Naruto, as per Kyuubi's suggestion, used a bit of subliminal messaging to get Kakashi to send the entire team to the bridge that day.

Chigusa and Kiriko had protested when Naruto told them to stay behind, but when he said he needed someone to guard Seizonsha, the twins immediately yielded. He also left his cloak behind as "backup" in case the girls needed it.

"Alright team, let's head out!" Kakashi eye smiled.

"Yeah!" Sakura shouted.

"Hn." Sasuke grunted.

"Super!" an unusually cheerful Tazuna said.

"Whatever." Naruto hid his excitement.

"...Glad to see you're _all_ so..._enthusiastic_." Kakashi sweatdropped.

Tazuna said goodbye to his daughter and grandson, to which only Tsunami replied.

Chigusa and Kiriko had caught Naruto before he stepped out and both gave him a kiss on either cheek, wishing him luck. This caused Naruto to damn near have a heart attack.

About ten minutes after they left, Naruto smelled something off to the side of the trail: blood. He went to go check it out, not bothering to tell his teammates what he wad doing. He found himself in a small clearing, staring at a wild boar that had been hacked to pieces. The wounds it suffered were identical to the fox family Naruto had found.

"So, the killers have been here recently." Naruto deduced, seeing that the blood was still fresh and the corpse still warm.

He looked around and spotted a track of bloody footprints in the dirt, and they were heading in the direction of Tazuna's house.

Kyuubi growled. **"The murderers are on their way to the old human's home. I'm sure the twins can take them without problem, but I want you to spill their blood personally."**

Naruto nodded and went back to his team. "I'm going back to your home, Tazuna-san, it appears that Gato has sent some of his thugs after your family."

Tazuna's eyes widened in fear. "Well don't just stand there telling us about it! GO!"

Naruto nodded slightly and disappeared with a burst of speed.

(Tazuna's Home)

Chigusa and Kiriko were standing there, staring at the two samurai wannabes that had just walked up to the docks near the house and demanded that they stand aside and let Tsunami and Inari come with them "before they got hurt", as the thugs put it.

One man was dressed in a grey hoodie, black sweatpants, zori sandals, and a green beanie covering his blue-ish-green hair. He had an extremely bored look on his face, like he didn't want to be there at the time.

The other man wore an eyepatch over his right eye, had his limited amount of hair tied back into three separate ponytails and had no shirt. He was taller than his partner by about six inches and had purple tattoos all over his torso and arms. He wore black hakama pants and, like his partner, zori sandals. However, unlike his partner, he had a sadistic smirk on his...less than attractive face.

Kiriko turned to her sister with an "Are they serious?" look.

Chigusa just shook her head and sighed. "Look, you two fools should just leave while you still can."

The thug with the eyepatch grinned. "And why should we do that, little girl?"

Kiriko sighed, then looked behind the two men's shoulders. "Oh shit..."

"What?" Chigusa asked, then followed her sister's line of sight. "Oh shit."

The thug with the beanie scoffed. "Like we're going to fall for that old trick. Waraji, kill those two, I'll go get the woman and the kid."

The man with the eyepatch, apparently Waraji, grinned with a sadistic gleam in his eye. "Gotcha, Zori, but we don't need the kid, just the bitch."

"You will not take another step." an icy voice said from behind the mercs.

"Hm? Who the hell are you?" Waraji asked.

"From that boar I saw back in the forest, you like cutting things up, do you not?" Naruto asked, his head hanging, like he was embarrassed by his own questions.

Waraji smirked. "Yeah, I do like to..._test my skills _a lot. What of it?"

"Oh, nothing much, just admiring your handiwork."

Waraji's smirk widened. "If you think that was something, you should check out what I did to these foxes a few days back! Tell ya' what; you help me kill these two girls, and I'll show you those fox corpses. Whadda ya' say?"

Naruto slowly lifted his head, the eye slits of his mask glowing red. "I...have a _better_ idea..." the Black Soul appeared in his left hand. "How about _I_ show _you_ something?"

After he said that there was a slight breeze, but nothing else.

Waraji rose an eyebrow. "Show me what?" he then heard a strange gurgling sound behind him. "Zori, what the fuck are you do-...!" by the time Waraji turned to face his partner, all that was left of Zori was a pile of red, oozing jelly.

The puddle of blood expanded, seeping through the cracks of the dock, staining the wood red. The blood dripped from the edges of the pier, turning the water crimson.

"So, how do you like my..._**handiwork?**_"

Waraji turned to the masked shinobi and attempted to unsheathe his katana. Keyword: attempted. Before he was even completely facing the boy, both his sword and his hand were gone.

"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!" Waraji screamed, clutching the bleeding stump that remained of his hand.

**"You brought this on yourself. You have senselessly slaughtered the innocent, human and animal alike. Your hands, as well as your soul, are stained with their blood..." **Naruto walked forward and jerked Waraji into the air like he weighed next to nothing. **"Look into my eyes, and feel their pain! Eternal Penance!"**(3)

Naruto's eyes blazed crimson behind his mask, casting an unearthly light on Waraji's face. The man looked into the slits of the mask, and images flooded his mind while pain wracked his body. The faces of everyone and everything he had killed flashed before his eye. The pain of millions of gashes and cuts danced across his body.

Then, to Waraji, the world went black. Only he stood in the middle of the dark abyss. There was no light, no sound, no smells, no sensations, nothing.

"W-what the h-hell is this?!" he screamed, his own voice causing him extreme pain in the ethereal silence.

**"This...This is the place where you will meet your demise." **Naruto's demonic voice rang out from the darkness, the volume sending Waraji to his knees in pain.

"P-p-please...d-don't kill m-me!" the man cried piteously.

Naruto scoffed. **"I won't dirty my hands, or my blade with your foul blood. You will die by the hands of those you've stricken down for nothing else but your own sadistic pleasure."**

Waraji heard the giggle of a child behind him. He jumped and whirled around, only to see a little girl with dark purple hair standing with her back to him.

"Hey mister..." the girl said, still giggling. "Did you really mean what you said earlier? Do you really like me?" her voice was disturbingly sweet.

Waraji's eyes widened as he remembered a little girl he had met years before he came to work for Gato. He had found her crying in an alleyway, soaked from the rain and shivering.

He had invited her to his hotel room to get her some food and warm her up. But his intentions were far more sinister. He proceeded to rape the little girl repeatedly, long after she passed out from the pain. After he had used her in every way imaginable, he cut out her eyes and shoved them down her throat, then watched her choke to death. He had even considered violating her corpse, but settled for pissing on it instead.

"Y-y-you!" Waraji stuttered.

"You remember me! I'm...so..._happy_..." the girl turned around and Waraji screamed.

The girl's eyes were gone, nothing left but bloody sockets, oozing some kind of black liquid, like tears. But, despite her appearance, she was smiling like she was just given a cookie.

"Do you...you know, want to do _that_ again?" the girl walked closer to the terrified man.

"St-stay away from me!" Waraji wailed.

The girl, much to his surprise, stopped her advance.

"Why?" she asked, more black fluid leaking from her empty sockets. "Don't you find me pretty anymore?" the "tears" splashed on the invisible ground, then started hissing and bubbling.

Waraji screamed and turn to run, but stopped dead when he almost ran into another little girl.

"Hello...Onii-chan." the girl said.

She had short black hair, and looked to be around six years old, just two years younger than the last girl. She was wearing a battered yellow sundress with orange flowers on it, small red shoes, and knee-high socks. She had her head down, bangs hiding her face and appeared to be giggling.

"...Saya-chan..." Waraji fell to his knees as another memory assaulted him.

He had only been sixteen years old when he abducted his own little sister from her school, knocked her out, and dragged her to an abandoned building. He waited until she woke up to begin his "fun". He brutally took the six year old's virginity, making her scream as loud as her lungs would allow. Waraji responded by hitting her so hard he broke her jaw.

Eventually the girl's mind shut down from the stress, pain, and pure horror of the fact that it was her own brother that was going this to her. When Waraji realized that his sister was no longer screaming and writhing in pain, he stopped thrusting into her and snarled. He began to beat her, punching her head into the hard concrete floor repeatedly. Fortunately, she was dead before the third impact.

"You remember..." Saya looked up, exposing her horribly disfigured face.

There was almost nothing left that would identify her as human. Her eyes were gone, probably beaten completely into her skull. Her jaw seemed to have sunken into her face, or, more accurately; smashed into her face. Bone fragments stuck through the skin at all angles, some of which were moving and shifting around, the result of her trying to move her facial muscles.

Waraji screamed to the heavens, begging whatever twisted deity that was listening to save him from his torment.

**"Scream all you like, putrid scum, you'll just attract more of them." **Naruto said.

But Waraji ignored him. "KAMI-SAMA, PLEASE HELP ME!"

**"You just don't get it, do you? This is my world! Here, I AM GOD! And all I will say is this: I pity the Shinigami for having to consume your disgusting soul."** Naruto growled. **"Tortured souls tethered to the living, I have brought before you your tormentor. I offer him to you to do as you will, in hopes of freeing your innocent souls from this realm, and ridding it of this vile monster. Send him to the place he most belongs, and rest in peace."**

More of the deformed and disfigured beings stepped out from the darkness, slowly stalking towards Waraji. Some wearing sickeningly sweet smiles, others wearing masks of pure rage and hatred for the man in front of them.

All of their voices rang out at once in harsh whispers.

_"Murderer..."_

_"Rapist..."_

_"Killer..."_

_"Monster..."_

Most of them whispered, but some were less angry, and more disturbing and creepy.

"Mister, do you want to _play_ again?"

"You did it too hard last time, I think you broke _something_."

"You were always such a good boy...such a good, _good_ boy."

"Where did we go wrong with you, son?"

"Oh well, I always said he should have been drowned at birth."

"I told you he was bad news!"

"Yes, mother, you were right, you're always right. That's my mother: Mrs. Right!"

Waraji curled into a ball, hugging his knees and crying. "G-g-g-go a-a-a-away...P-p-please...s-s-stay b-back..."

"Hey, I said that too!"

"You as well?"

"Yeah! But he just ignored me!"

"Me too!"

"Now _we_ get to have _fun_ with _you_!"

Saya came into Waraji's view. Even though no one could tell, he knew she was smiling.

"Hey Onii-chan, look what I can do!" Saya reached under her dress and jammed her hand into her vagina.

There were horrible sounds of squelching and squishing, tearing and wet pops. Blood poured to the ground, then she ripped her hand free, spraying blood all over Waraji.

"There we are!" Saya said, holding up a two foot long serrated dagger.

All of the other little girls did the same, some even licking the blood off of their blades.

"Play with us, Onii-chan!"

"Yes, let's play!"

"Play time! Play time! Play time!" the girls all chanted as they descended upon a helpless Waraji.

As the rest of the souls gathered around, Waraji disappeared. The only evidence that he was still there were his bloodcurdling screams, wet thunking and ripping sounds, and the happy giggles of little children.

Chigusa and Kiriko looked on in confusion and morbid fascination. One minute the guy was cursing Naruto out, the next he was screaming and convulsing violently. Then Naruto just dropped him, but his body shattered like glass when it hit the ground.

"You were not worthy of the soul you were given, foul cretin." Naruto hissed, then looked towards the twins. "I'll tell you later. For now, I have a coward to talk to." he stalked passed them and into the house, where he saw Tsunami and Inari watching from a window.

When Naruto came through the door, he didn't say a word. He released a low amount of killing intent and slowly walked towards Tsunami.

Inari cowered behind his mother, absolutely terrified of the ninja in front of him.

"You..." Naruto growled. "Are pathetic." he grabbed Inari and wrenched him from his mother's grasp, ignoring her screaming protests.

"LET ME GO!" Inari screamed, wriggling like a worm on a fisherman's hook.

"Quiet, you moron, if I was going to kill you, you'd be nothing but a stain on the floor by now. I don't care what kind of life you've lived, I know your 'hardships' were nothing compared to mine. And that makes it all the more pitiful that you're nothing but a coward and a crybaby. You have no idea just how much you're dishonoring your father's memory, do you?"

Inari stopped struggling. "Shut up! You have no right to talk about him!"

Naruto growled and shook the boy. "Shut it! He was a hero to this place, yet his son is the biggest coward here. He gave his life to fight against insurmountable odds, and may have come out on top if you people had helped him. But instead of honoring his memory and deeds, you hide in fear and live in poverty. Because of what? An old, fat, balding midget with an inferiority complex? So what if he has mercenaries, you can still fight back."

"H-how?"

"This is a place were many samurai were born and trained. Even though samurai have all but disappeared, it doesn't mean that a new generation can't be trained. I know for a fact that the Wave Archives have the scrolls of near ancient samurai techniques, I've seen them. You people don't fight back because you can't; you're just too afraid to. By killing the one man willing to go against him, Gato took away your hope, and instilled even more fear in you. He made you believe that you couldn't fight back, because he knew that you could. Why would he go through all the trouble of having mercs patrol the town, keeping citizens from coming out of their homes? If he truly wasn't worried about you, then he'd be walking through the streets without a care in the world, but no, he hides in the forest, surrounding himself with bodyguards.

He does that because, without them, anyone in this country could kill him, and he knows it. He knows he is weak and pathetic, he knows that he is nothing but trash, and he can't deal with it. He hides behind his money because he consoles himself with the belief that, because he's rich, he's better than everyone else. But deep down he knows that the opposite is the truth, but he doesn't want anyone else to know, so he makes others fear him. Not only to make others believe that he is someone to be feared, but to convince himself as well. You take away that fear, then he has no power, and he will see himself for what he truly is; what he has been denying for his entire life."

"B-but what c-can I do?" Inari sobbed.

"Alone? Nothing. Just because one person doesn't fear him, doesn't mean he will break down. You've seen what happens when one person tries to go against him, and so has everyone else. No, you need the entire town to rise up and take action. Then, and ONLY then, will you see the real Gato, the wimp behind the money." Naruto put Inari down and turned to Chigusa and Kiriko, who had been watching everything. "You two should know what to do." the sisters nodded.

"It will be done, Namikaze-sama." Chigusa bowed.

Naruto nodded and allowed himself to be swallowed by the shadows.

(At The Bridge)

When Kakashi and company arrived at the bridge, they were greeted with a thick blanket of mist.

"What the hell?" Tazuna muttered.

Kakashi narrowed his eye and slipped his porn into his pocket, something wasn't right here.

They kept walking until Sakura tripped over something.

"What th-!" she backed away from the facedown body on the ground.

Tazuna rushed over to his fallen friend. "Takehiro! What happened here?!"

Takehiro groaned piteously. "I-it w-w-was a d-demon..." he managed to get out before consciousness left him.

A sinister laugh rang out over the bridge. "I see the whole peanut gallery is here! Wait a minute, where's the creepy one?" Zabuza said, looking around.

"He had to..._take care_ of something." Kakashi took out a kunai and lifted his forehead protector.

Zabuza rose a non-existent eyebrow. "So, the Monkey wants to fight the Demon? Well, as much as I'd like to destroy you, I'm waiting for my rematch with the masked brat. Besides, my friend here has already called dibs on you."

Kitoro stepped out of the mist. "Hello, Monkey Man. I'll be your opponent today." his cat claws shot out of his vambraces and he vanished.

Kakashi deflected one strike with his kunai and his eyes widened. 'Even with the Sharingan I can barely keep up with him!'

Sakura stood in front of Tazuna, already knowing her role in this battle. But Sasuke just stood there, staring at the ground and trembling.

This didn't go unnoticed by Zabuza. "My, my, Hatake, it seems like that poor boy there is shaking in fear. Oh well, there always is that one student out of the bunch..."

Sasuke lifted his head, revealing a cocky smirk. "I'm shaking...with excitement!"

Zabuza snorted. "Haku..." he called over his shoulder.

"Yes, Zabuza-sama?" Haku appeared in her Hunter-nin attire.

"The Uchiha is yours."

Haku nodded, then took out three senbon needles and disappeared, Sasuke following soon after.

Zabuza rose an "eyebrow" again. "Hm, he's decently fast, Hatake."

Kakashi smiled for a second. "He is an Uchiha after all."

Zabuza scoffed. "An Uchiha without the Sharingan isn't an Uchiha."

Sasuke heard this and attacked his masked foe with renewed vigor. He tried to engage the false hunter in Taijutsu, but he was just too fast, and those senbon were beginning to become a problem.

Sasuke took out a kunai and attempted to stab the masked ninja, but he was blocked by two senbon. The false hunter used them like chopsticks to grip the Uchiha's kunai, holding them in a stalemate.

Sasuke tried to overpower the nuke-nin, but the special grip Haku was using allowed her to stop and hold almost anything with minimal effort.

"So, it seems that you can keep up with me at about one third of my full speed. Impressive." Haku slowly lifted her hand. "But I still hold two advantages over you."

"How?" Sasuke asked, thinking he had called the masked shinobi's bluff.

"One: all of the water surrounding us. Two: one of your hands is occupied, and you can't use half seals. I, on the other hand..." Haku started making one-handed seals, "am a different story." she stomped on a small puddle near her foot. "Ice Release: Demonic Ice Mirrors!" a mirror sprouted up in front of Haku, which she stepped through.

Water from all over the bridge gathered near Sasuke in a large circle, then rose up and became solid ice. This kept happening until Sasuke was completely trapped within a large dome of identical ice mirrors.

"What the hell!?" the Uchiha looked around frantically, trying to find a way out.

"It is no use, Uchiha..." Haku said from inside one of the mirrors.

Sasuke whipped around to looked at her, but she had already gone into another mirror.

"There is no way out of this dome other than death..."

Sasuke turned again, but Haku was gone once more.

"Unless I decide to release you." that last line came with five senbon to the back of the thigh for Sasuke.

The Uchiha dropped to his knees, but rolled away just in time to avoid three more needles to the head.

"I do not wish to kill you, so just stand down and you will live."

Sasuke jumped to his feet and snarled. "Shut up!" he made his favorite set of handseals. "Fire Release: Great Fireball Technique!"

The huge fireball made contact with the wall of ice and exploded, forcing Sasuke to shield himself from the intense heat wave. When he looked up his jaw dropped in shock. The mirrors were completely unharmed!

Haku chuckled and shook her head. "Do you honestly think I would go into a battle with an Uchiha using ice that could be melted by such conventional means? What kind of fool do you take me for?"

Sasuke tossed a kunai at the mirror he had seen the false hunter in, but he was far too slow, and the kunai just bounced off harmlessly.

"Shit!" Sasuke cursed as he felt two senbon bury themselves into his back.

Kakashi wasn't fairing much better than Sasuke. Even with his Sharingan, his opponent was too fast, and the mist wasn't helping either.

"You're pretty slow, Monkey Man." Kitoro's voice said, just before his claws shot out of the mist and sliced Kakashi's arm.

Kakashi winced and jumped away before the nuke-nin could follow-up. He concentrated chakra into his nose and tried to sniff the brown-clad ninja out. But the mist was messing with his senses, and all he could smell was water and his own blood.

Kakashi then got an idea. It was risky, but it would probably be his only chance of defeating the man he was facing. When he felt another attack coming, he didn't avoid it, instead his put his arm in the line of the attack, causing his hand to be impaled on the middle claw.

Kitoro rose an eyebrow. "What's wrong with you? Are you some kind of masochist?"

Kakashi just smirked. "Gotcha." he made a set of one-handed seals. "Lightning Release: Closed Circuit!" Kakashi used a technique that he had copied during a battle with a nuke-nin from Kumogakure no Sato.

Kitoro's eyes widened and he screamed as a powerful electric current surged through his body.

'Shit! I can't take much more of this!' Kitoro raised his left arm and slashed Kakashi across the chest, forcing him to stop the technique and jump away.

Kakashi cursed as he saw his opponent disappear into the mist once again. Then he smirked; he had gotten what he wanted. He sent chakra into his nose once more and sniffed Kitoro out again, but this time he was smelling for his blood that now covered the nin's claws, and the smell of burnt cloth.

"Now that I know where you are..." Kakashi blocked another claw swipe with ease, "I can beat you." he punched the missing-nin in the gut.

Kitoro coughed up blood, staining his mask. 'Dammit!' he mentally cursed before retreating the regroup in the cover of the thick mist.

Zabuza chuckled as he looked at the battles around him. The Uchiha was being turned into a living pincushion by Haku, and Kakashi was getting cut up pretty bad by Kitoro.

"Well, it seems this will be a cake walk, just as I thought." his smirk turned to a frown as he heard Kitoro's screams of pain.

"Cocky, aren't we?" a voice said from beside Zabuza.

The swordsman tensed, but showed no other reaction to Naruto's sudden presence. He glanced over and noticed that Naruto's didn't have his cloak on; he was ready for battle.

'Shit, he could have killed me at any time and I never would've seen it coming.' "So, brat, you're finally here." he reached for the handle of his Kubikiribōchō, which was jammed into the ground by his side.

"Sorry about the delay, I had to deal out some...cruel and unusual punishment." Naruto laid his hand on the handle of his Black Soul.

Zabuza smirked. "Oh? And what, exactly, counts as 'cruel and unusual' in the ninja world?" he slowly pulled his zanbatō free from the concrete.

"How about ripping someone's soul from their body? Or making them feel the pain of all the ones they've unjustly killed?" Naruto flicked the handguard of his odachi with his thumb.

Zabuza whistled. "That might count as unusual, but I've seen things a bit more cruel than that." Zabuza placed his sword on his shoulder.

Naruto fully unsheathed his sword and dropped the sheath into his shadow. "Really now? I guess I'll just have to come up with something else in my spare time."

"Oh, you can think of whatever you want, right after you're done bringing me coffee and a newspaper!" Zabuza swung his massive blade at Naruto.

Naruto flipped his sword and, using a reverse grip, blocked the much larger slab of sharp steel with his forearm. He jerked his blade to the side, causing a bright flash of sparks that forced Zabuza to close his eyes, but the bandaged man jumped away before Naruto could follow-up.

"Still slow, I see." Naruto drawled, doing a few tricks with his sword, or so it seemed.

He was actually creating a distortion in the air to utilize a move that he had made up about a month before his mission started.

Zabuza eyed Naruto's sword, but saw nothing worth worrying about. "Kid, I have no idea what you're doing, but this isn't the time for tricks!" he blurred out of sight.

But Naruto could see the man perfectly, and knew he was trying to get behind him.

He turned around just in time to face Zabuza as he appeared. "Too slow." Naruto's spinning sword created a large distortion in front of him, which Zabuza was caught in the middle of.

Zabuza felt like his head was about to explode. He couldn't see straight because of the distortion, and something was making him feel like gravity had increase tenfold. His began to get a nose bleed and he could also feel something warm and wet oozing from his ears.

Naruto's improvised technique used a distortion in the air caused by chakra to disorient foes, but used intense air pressure to cause damage.

'I have to...stop this...' Zabuza thought, but he couldn't even think straight because of Naruto's attack.

Seeing that whatever he did couldn't result in anything worse than his current situation, Zabuza just swung the Kubikiribōchō in Naruto's general direction.

This caused Naruto to jump back and cancel his attack. "You really had that much trouble with such a weak attack?" he mocked.

Zabuza growled. "You know something? I've been carrying this sword for so long, that I've forgotten the fact that I put weight seals on it." He smirked at his opponent. "Which I've just released. Now let's see who's slow." a series of kanji appeared on the flat of the zanbatō and glowed bright purple before disappearing, as did Zabuza.

Naruto smirked. 'Now the fun really begins!' he blurred out of sight, then loud clangs could be heard as metal collided with metal.

Sasuke panted heavily and glared weakly at his foe. He could feel every one of the two dozen needles sticking out of his body, and he didn't like it at all. He had managed to keep Haku from piercing any joints or vital areas, but he was still losing a lot of blood, and every movement he made caused hot streaks of pain to lance through every wound.

'D-dammit! I...I can't keep up with him...Even with the Sharingan, I can't keep up!' Sasuke mentally raged.

He had finally unlocked the Sharingan; something he had been trying to do for years, but it still wasn't enough.

Haku looked at the Uchiha with slight pity. 'He's trying his best, but he is still no match for me at all.' she readied for more senbon needles. 'I don't want to do this...'

Sasuke coughed up a bit of blood and glared at the false hunter. "You...How are you so powerful?! I'm an Uchiha! Even with your bloodline limit, you should be nothing compared to me!" his grip on his kunai tightened.

"Please, stand down. Put aside your ego long enough to accept that you are outclassed. I don't want to kill you, but if that's what it takes, I will silence my heart and destroy you."

Sasuke's glare intensified, his one-tomoe and two-tomoe Sharingan spinning madly, reflecting his anger.

"Shut up! I will never give in to the likes of you, or anyone else! I will defeat you and prove that I am better!" he charged at the mirror Haku was in.

Said nuke-nin sighed and took careful aim at the enraged boy that was rushing her. "So be it." she let three senbon fly.

Sasuke suddenly felt three sharp pricks in his neck, then felt no more as he went down like a sack of bricks.

Haku sighed once again and deactivated her ice mirrors. She walked over to Sasuke and kicked him in the ribs. "Ikkoku-teme." she huffed.("stubborn bastard")

Sakura couldn't see a damned thing through the thick mist, and could only listen and hope for the best.

Tazuna just muttered, "You ninja really scare me."

Kakashi wrenched his body to the side just in time to avoid a chakra infused slash from Kitoro.

"Why have you not used any techniques?" Kakashi asked.

Kitoro chuckled. "What, is the Monkey sad that he doesn't get anything to copy? Feh, this is no place for this kind of conversation!" he engaged Kakashi in a brief Taijutsu battle before he leapt back into the mist.

Kakashi narrowed his eyes, something wasn't right about the brown clad shinobi. The only time he could sense any chakra coming from him was when he pushed it into his claws.

'I think I have this figured out. He can't mold chakra unless he pushes it into those claws. That's why he hasn't used any Ninjutsu; he can't use it! He's almost like Gai's student, Rock Lee.' Kakashi smirked and made some discreet handseals.

"Oh, no you don't!" Kitoro tried to interrupt the masked nin's seals and rushed in with a slash to the throat. "Shit, Water Clone!" he cursed as "Kakashi" turned into a puddle.

"That's right." Kakashi said as he jammed two kunai into Kitoro's right arm, effectively disabling it.

Kitoro tried to escape, but found himself unable to move. He looked down and saw that he was being held down by two small, insanely strong dogs.

"What the hell?!" he exclaimed, then thought back to his foe's handseals. 'Those weren't for a Water Clone, they were for a Summon!'

Kakashi snorted at his opponent's feeble attempts at freeing himself. "Stand down and you may live."

Kitoro was sweating bullets at the moment. 'Well...I guess it's time.' he sighed heavily. "...I can't do that...As much as I would like to, I can't."

Kakashi sighed. "Whatever." he summoned three more dogs to hold the short man down.

"W-what are you about to do?" Kitoro asked shakily as he watched Kakashi make agonizingly slow handseals.

"You're about to see one of the most..._shocking_ techniques in the ninja world." Kakashi smirked at his helpless opponent.(4)

Zabuza slid across the bridge after blocking a particularly hard kick from Naruto with his sword. But he had no time to even breathe before Naruto was on him again, raining slashes down upon him.

"I'm impressed, Zabuza. You've actually managed to make me remove most of my chakra weights! I'm only carrying about three-hundred extra pounds right now." Naruto said calmly, attempting a skull-crushing axe kick to Zabuza's head.

Zabuza winced from the intense vibrations caused by him blocking the aforementioned kick. 'Damn, no matter how fast I go, he's always two steps ahead of me! And his insane strength isn't helping at all!' the air was suddenly forced from his lungs by a powerful punch to the gut.

The punch sent the Demon of the Mist flying back, but he managed to right himself before he hit the ground. He coughed and blood leaked through the bandages on his face.

Naruto appeared in front of him. "Give up, Zabuza. You're still no match for me." he placed the tip of his sword against the ex-Mist-nin's neck.

Zabuza smirked. "Remember when I said that I removed the weight seal on my sword? Well, I only removed one of three." the Kubikiribōchō glowed again, then Zabuza disappeared.

Naruto's eyes widened behind his mask and he looked around. 'Where the hell did he go?!' he got his answer in the form of a solid kick to the back of his head.

Zabuza appeared in front of a now falling Naruto and kicked him in the face, sending him airborne.

"Now who's the slow one?" he chuckled.

But his laughter didn't last long, as Naruto appeared in front of him. "Still you." he punched Zabuza in the face with the force of a two-hundred pound sledgehammer.

Zabuza's face nearly caved in and he was launched into a pile of supply wood for the bridge. He vision swam and he struggled to regain his bearings. His vision cleared just in time for him to roll out of the way of a giant fireball that had been hurled at him by Naruto. The fireball blew out a good chunk of the bridge and melted everything else within a ten foot radius into molten rock.

Zabuza countered by flashing through handseals and calling out, "Water Release: Great Waterfall Technique!" a large ball of water gathered above his head, then a spiraling torrent rushed out towards Naruto.

Naruto tried to dive out of the way, but couldn't move fast enough due to a Water Clone holding him down from within a puddle.

'When did he-!' Naruto didn't get to finish his thought before the powerful water jet blasted him off of the bridge and into the river.

Zabuza smirked when he saw his opponent disappear under the waves. He knew the boy wasn't defeated, but he was hoping for a bit of a breather.

Unfortunately for the nuke-nin, Naruto had other plans. As he sank further into the depths, he started to laugh. His mask filtered the oxygen out of the water and allowed him to breathe normally, and he was using it to full advantage. No one could see or hear him down here, so he could let a bit of insanity leak through.

"Yes, this is it...This is what I've been waiting for! A worthy opponent to test my power! It seems I'll finally be able to release all the weight I have on...I've never done that before...This will be interesting indeed!" Naruto cackled and stared up at the surface. "Zabuza...I'm coming for you!" he roared and his purple chakra exploded from his body as the remaining three-hundred pounds of weight was lifted.

Zabuza stared down at the river, what was taking so long? The boy had been down there for almost two minutes. Normally that wouldn't be strange at all, but when fighting someone that uses mainly Water-based techniques, that could be considered a form of suicide.

"...Screw it, I'm gonna blast him out." Zabuza muttered and started making handseals.

Just when he was about to finish the last seal, the river literally exploded and a massive, black hand shot out. The hand hovered over Zabuza before it came crashing down on the bridge, taking out another large chunk of it. Zabuza managed to avoid it, but he couldn't avoid a piece of wood that shot out of a pile of two-by-fours that had been smashed. The large splinter embedded itself in Zabuza's right thigh, much too close to his groin for comfort.

"Damn!" the swordsman hissed and pulled the chunk of wood out.

"ZABUZA!" the nuke-nin lifted his blade just in time to block an overhead strike from a black blur. "You can't afford to worry about that little flesh wound!" Naruto continued to pound away at Zabuza's sword, wearing down the man's endurance.

Zabuza eventually felt to one knee, still holding up his now heavily dented and scarred zanbatō.

'I can't take much more of this...' the man thought.

Sakura was sweating almost as much as Tazuna. The constant screams and sounds of battle made her flinch every couple seconds. And she had to watch out for any and everything. There were three battles raging around her, as far as she knew, and she couldn't see any of them. All it took was for one rogue technique or kunai to come sailing at her and it was over. All she could do was remain confident in the power of her teammates and sensei.

Tazuna gulped as he heard a shout being abruptly cut off by an explosion that rocked the entire structure.

"What the hell are they doing to my bridge?!" Tazuna yelled.

Sakura sweatdropped, but didn't respond.

Kakashi finished the last of his seals and used his left hand to brace his right wrist. A ring of crackling chakra appeared around him and small bolts of electricity flowed from the ring to his hand. The bolts eventually stopped and Kakashi held a large blue ball of lightning, which let off a terrible sound, like the screeching of a thousand angry birds.

"I'll give you one last chance, back down." Kakashi warned.

Kitoro gulped, then sighed sadly. "I can't do that. I have too much to lose by giving up."

Kakashi shook his head. "Very well...I'll make this quick and painless."

Kitoro smiled a bit. "Thank you."

Kakashi nodded, then charged, his Chidori growing louder in Kitoro's ears.

Haku was completely torn. She could see that both of her precious people were losing. She could see that Kitoro was at the scarecrow man's mercy, and she could tell that Zabuza was running low on chakra.

She also knew that Zabuza had had the weight seals on his sword for so long that his body wasn't used to the speed he was utilizing. She had felt the consequences of moving too fast when she first used her Demonic Ice Mirrors. She suffered from tunnel vision and extreme disorientation when she slowed down. She had eventually gotten used to it, but it had taken the better part of a year to do it.

She suddenly heard a horribly loud noise and looked to Kitoro's battle. She saw that he was being held down by a pack of dogs and the scarecrow was running at him with a ball of lightning in his hand.

Haku made her decision, she wouldn't allow one of her precious people to die because of her inaction. She didn't have enough chakra to make a mirror, since she had been secretly casting a Genjutsu on the Uchiha during their battle to make his premature Sharingan ineffective against her. So she ran as fast as her legs could carry her to intercept Kakashi.

Zabuza and Naruto flew through the air in opposite directions, each having scored a powerful blow on the other. Both combatants slid across the ground, using their swords the halt themselves.

Naruto panted and stared at Zabuza, he was having the time of his life! He'd never had this much fun in a fight!

'Not even Nightmare entertained me this much!' Naruto's grip on the Black Soul tightened and he laughed insanely. "This...This is so much FUN!" he cackled.

Zabuza stared at the masked boy. "Kid...Did I hit you too hard or something?"

Naruto shook his head and chuckled. "No...Quite the opposite, really...You're not hitting hard enough!" he blurred out of sight as he charged, tearing up the bridge even more when his speed.

Zabuza narrowed his eyes and charged as well. He knew that he was going to lose, but at least he'd give Naruto something to remember him by!

Just as the fighters neared each other, they heard the ear-splitting sound of hundreds of enraged birds. They stopped in their tracks and looked at the source of the noise. They saw Kakashi charging at a helpless Kitoro, but that wasn't what really caught their attention. That was the fact that Haku was running to save her comrade.

"HAKU!" Zabuza screamed, but the girl didn't hear him.

Naruto narrowed his eyes. 'This isn't part of the plan!' he looked at Zabuza, who was almost to the point of tears. "Do you really care for her?"

Zabuza looked Naruto straight in the eyes and nodded. "I don't care if we're not related, she is my daughter."

Naruto nodded, then broke off in a burst of speed towards the other battle, attempting to intercept both Kakashi and Haku. But as he neared them and huge explosion rocked the bridge and a tower of fire, smoke, and concrete erupted in front of him. This blew Naruto completely off the bridge and into the water for the second time that day.

But Kakashi's Chidori drowned out the explosion and he continued on his course. He was mere feet from Kitoro when Haku blurred into existence right in front of the man he was going to kill.

Kitoro's eyes widened. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" he screamed.

Haku didn't look back. "I refuse to let my precious people die!"

Kitoro hung his head. "...I'm sorry...Haku-chan." Kitoro ripped his good arm free from the jaws of one dog and grabbed Haku's shoulder, then flung her aside.

Haku landed on the ground about ten feet away. She looked back just in time to see Kitoro's chest explode as the lightning-covered hand ripped through his body.

"NOOOOOOOOO!" Haku screamed.

Kakashi ripped his hand free and stared at the man in front of him sadly. The false hunter had distracted him and he had missed his mark. The man was still going to die, but he would be a slow and painful process.

Kitoro coughed up huge amounts of blood and fell to his knees. The dogs that were holding him disappeared in puffs of smoke, seeing that their task was done.

Haku ran to Kitoro and cradled his head in her lap. She ripped off her mask and sobbed loudly.

"NO! Please don't die!" she cried.

Kitoro smiled and more blood stained his mask. "I...have to..."

"Why?!" Haku yelled.

"Because...I have...to hold up...my end...of...the bargain..." Kitoro coughed violently.

"Bargain? What bargain requires your death?!"

"I'm...sorry...Haku...Say...goodbye to...the twins...and Zabuza...for me...will you?"

Haku sniffled, but nodded anyway. She knew that there was nothing that anyone could do for him. The pills Naruto had given them didn't work on fatal wounds, and she was pretty sure having your chest blown out of your back counted as fatal.

"Don't cry...for me...Haku-chan...I...wanted...this...Thank you...all...for being...my only...friends." Kitoro looked blankly up at the sky. 'I've done what you've asked of me, Myou-sama...Do I get my reward now?' he thought.

A voice that only he could hear answered. **"...Yes, Kitoro-kun, you have done nicely. And, as was our deal, I will allow you to reunite with your family. Your sins will be erased and you will be allowed to enter heaven, as I promised."** a soft, female voice said. **"It's going to be quite boring for me now that I won't be able to watch your amusing antics. I'll drop in every now and then, alright?"**

Kitoro chuckled mentally, since his body was now dead. 'That would be great. Thank you...for everything, Myou-sama. I never would have found people like Zabuza, the twins, and Haku-chan without your guidance.' and with that, the man known as Kitoro Masara left the world of the living and was reunited with his clan.

Haku cried loudly, then tossed her head back and howled to the heavens, begging to know why the person that was the closest thing she had to a brother had to be taken from her. Was she destined to always lose her families to the cold clutches of death?

Kakashi hung his head in sadness. The fact that the "man" he had just killed was only a couple years older than his students was weighing heavily on his conscience. He had killed children that were enemy shinobi before, but he detested it more than anything.

The mist gradually cleared as Zabuza stepped through it, Kubikiribōchō hoisted on his shoulder. He looked down sadly at the corpse of Kitoro, otherwise known as the comic relief of his group.

"Dammit kid...Look what you've done now." Zabuza shook his head and put a hand on Haku's shoulder.

Haku looked back, her eyes bloodshot from crying. "I'm sorry...Zabuza-sama...I couldn't save him."

Zabuza shook his head. "I saw everything, you tried your best, and that's all anyone can ask for. Kitoro didn't want to be saved. For a reason that he took to his grave, he wanted to die."

A heavy sigh brought everyone's attention to Naruto, who had just jumped from the water to the bridge. The normal wild spikes of his hair were now slicked back, evidence of his two meetings with the local marine life.

"Kakashi, you might want to take Haruno and check up on the Uchiha."

Kakashi's eyes widened and he glared at Zabuza and Haku. "What about them?"

"...I'll take care of them, just go." Naruto said.

Kakashi nodded, gave one last glace at the nuke-nin, then set off to find Sakura and Tazuna.

Naruto knelt down and closed Kitoro's eyes with his hand. "This wasn't how things were supposed to go."

Zabuza nodded. "So, what now?"

Naruto shrugged. "No one really won our fight, so I guess we continue."

Zabuza shook his head and held his hand up. "No, you won. I have next to nothing left right now. Keeping up that Hiding Mist Technique was constantly draining my chakra."

Naruto cocked his head to the side. "Then why did you do it?"

Zabuza looked at Haku, who was still crying over Kitoro's body. "For them. They're like the children I never had, and it feels like I just lost a son."

Naruto walked over to Haku and place his hand on her shoulder. "Come on, we're going to find the others."

Haku shook her head. "We have to take Kitoro's body with us. He deserves a proper burial."

Naruto nodded and wrapped Kitoro's corpse in the ninja's own cloak and picked him up. Haku offered to carry the man, but Naruto shook his head.

"I caused this. I didn't factor in everything that happened. His death is mainly my fault, so I'll take responsibility for his body."

Haku was about to object, a shake of the head from Zabuza stopped her.

A bloodcurdling scream tore through the afternoon air and caused them all the cringe.

"I see Haruno found the Uchiha's body." Naruto said, not caring one bit.

Haku poked her fingers together(Hinata style). "Um...Actually, I didn't...kill him."

Zabuza resisted the urge to slap his forehead and settled for rolling his eyes. Naruto just sighed.

"Oh well, we don't always get what we want. Come on." Naruto started walking.

When Kakashi saw Naruto walking up to them with Zabuza and his accomplice, carrying the body of the boy he had killed, he took out a kunai.

"Naruto...are you betraying Konoha?" Kakashi asked bluntly.

Naruto snorted. 'How can I betray a village that I was never loyal to in the first place?' "No, in fact I'm getting the village some new shinobi."

Kakashi's eye widened and he looked at Zabuza and Haku incredulously. "How can you trust them?"

Zabuza shrugged. "Before we fought we made a little wager. Whoever lost would be the winner's servant, and I lost."

Kakashi narrowed his eye at the nuke-nin. "For someone who just lost his freedom, you seem awfully nonchalant about it."

Zabuza just shrugged again, but didn't reply.

Sakura glared at Haku. "You...YOU KILLED SASUKE-KUN!" she charged at the other girl.

Haku just rolled her eyes and prepared to put her in a near-death state, like she had done to the Uchiha, but Naruto got in front of her.

"Haruno-san, I will not have you assaulting my vassals because of your own stupidity." Naruto drawled, stopping Sakura in her tracks.

"But-but she killed Sasuke-kun!"

Naruto sighed and shook his head. "And she was labeled the smart one." he muttered. "Look at the placement of the needles. That is a technique that medic-nin use to put patients into a near-death state when anesthetic isn't available. The Uchiha isn't dead, just close to it."

Sakura mouthed "Oh" then looked back at Sasuke, smiling, happy that he was still alive.

Naruto looked back at Haku and shook his head.

Haku knew that the gesture meant "Sorry, she's an idiot." and nodded in understanding.

Kakashi scratched his head. "So...What now?"

Tazuna, who had remained silent, looked around at his bridge once the mist cleared. His eyes widened in horror and anger.

"WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO MY BRIDGE!" he screamed.

Naruto and Zabuza looked at each other, then shrugged.

Just then another explosion took out another section of the bridge in front of them, creating a massive hole.

"Alright, who the hell keeps doing that?" Naruto asked, thoroughly annoyed by the seemingly random explosions.

"That would be me." a slightly high pitched voice called out from the other side of the bridge.

Everyone looked over and saw a very short man with wildly spiky hair, wearing a black business suit, slacks, a cast on his right arm, and a decorated cane. He was also holding a small remote in his left hand, his thumb still depressing one of the large red buttons.

Zabuza narrowed his eyes and the short old man. "Gato."

Gato laughed. "Zabuza. Some demon you are, getting your ass handed to you by a little kid. Not once, but twice! I knew you wouldn't live up to your reputation, so I had a little..._insurance policy_ waiting in the wings." he snapped his fingers and a small army of around three-hundred thugs and mercenaries, all carrying some form of weaponry, appeared behind him.

Zabuza tightened his grip in his zanbatō. "So, you were never intending to pay us in the first place. You were just using us to do your dirty work."

Haku stood up, wiping the remaining tears from her eyes, sadness being replaced by anger.

"Then you were planning to kill us while we were weak."

Gato chuckled and clapped. "Very astute, you little bitch. I still have yet to pay you and your friend back for your treatment back at your hideout." he then looked at the body wrapped in brown cloth. "Oh? It seems the little bastard is already dead. Pity, I just hope it was at least half as painful as what I had in store for him."

Haku snarled and was about to take the fat little man down, but two hands on her shoulders stopped her.

"Haku, watch over his body." Naruto gestured to Kitoro's corpse.

"We'll take care of them." Zabuza said, undoing part of his bandages and putting a little red and blue pill in his mouth.

Naruto rose an eyebrow behind his mask. "You never took one of those pills I gave you?" he whispered so his teammates wouldn't hear him.

Zabuza shook his head. "Nope, I was saving it for a later occasion."

Naruto scoffed. "You didn't fight me at a hundred percent...You wanted to lose, didn't you?"

Zabuza just smirked. "You're one to talk, you weren't at a hundred percent either. Judging from the lack of power behind your right-hand attacks, compared to our last battle, I'm guessing something's wrong with that arm, no?"

Naruto chuckled. "Point made." he did a few tricks with the Black Soul.

Zabuza swung his zanbatō off of his shoulder and slammed it into the bridge, causing a large crack to form. It may have been dented and the blade may have been chipped and cracked in various places, but that was nothing new for the Kubikiribōchō. It had been in this condition numerous times in the past, but it could still take lives just as well.

"Three-hundred opponents, eh?"

Naruto caught on instantly. "First to one-fifty-one wins?"

"You're on!" Zabuza and Naruto both blurred out of sight, then the chaos started.

Gato's men screamed as they were cut down one by one, and sometimes five by five. Gato could only look on in horror as his small army was reduced to bloody ribbons and fleshy red chunks.

Naruto swung the Black Soul at a man's head, reveling in the arterial spray and the meaty thunk of the man's head hitting the concrete. He spun around and sliced another man cleanly in half at the waist, his upper body slowly sliding away from his legs. Naruto then stabbed two men at once, making a human kabob out of them. He spied more victims to his right, but he was forced to duck as a massive sword sailed over his head, decapitating about ten men in a row.

Naruto glared at Zabuza, who just shrugged. "Kill thief!"

Zabuza smirked and started using his bare hands to snap necks and break backs. He held out his hand and caught his sword mid-spin as it rounded back to him like the world's most lethal boomerang, and cut two more men in half. He noticed that one had managed to avoid his sword for the most part, but still had his arm severed. Zabuza stalked up to the begging man and smashed the flat of his blade down on his skull, splattering his grey matter all over the ground. Zabuza suddenly jerked to the side as a black blur went by him, flashes of metal visible at certain points. When the blur stopped, revealing Naruto, twenty men fell to pieces, literally.

Naruto looked back at Zabuza and flung the blood off of his blade. "One-hundred and six."

Zabuza growled. "One-hundred and three."

Both shinobi looked around them, then began killing again.

Naruto appeared in front of a group of men trying to flee, taking all four of their heads off at once. He then turned and impaled a man that had tried to sneak up on him in the chaos. He jammed his blade deep into the mans intestines and twisted it, then jerked it upward, cutting the man in half vertically. He turned his head and saw a man charging him from the corner of his eye. He ran at the man, dragging his sword along the ground, creating sparks and a loud screeching noise. The thug's battle cry died in his throat, becoming a pitiful whimper as he stopped dead in his tracks and promptly pissed himself.

When Naruto neared the man, he swung his sword upwards, splitting him from his crotch to his cranium. Watching both halves of the merc fall to the sides was more amusing to the boy that it probably should've been. It was like something out of an over-the-top slasher film!

Zabuza had taken to simply batting thugs off of the bridge and smashing people with the flat of his blade. He smacked one man so hard his head was torn from his shoulders and flew into the water. He smacked another man in the side of the chest just under his left armpit, completely shattering the left side of his ribcage, crushing one lung and sending multiple fragments bone into the other, along with his heart, leaving him to drown in his own blood. The Demon of the Mist smirked proudly as he looked at his handiwork, which caused a strange feeling of nostalgia.

Zabuza ran a blood covered hand through his blood soaked hair, flinging the crimson liquid everywhere.

"Ah, this reminds me of the good old days." he released a huge amount of killing intent, causing two men near him to fall to the ground as their hearts gave out.

Naruto felt Zabuza's killing intent and saw the men fall. "So, you wanna play that game, eh?" Naruto released his own unholy killing intent, causing another five men to drop from heart attacks.

Zabuza shuddered as he felt Naruto's killing intent wash over him. 'Kid could give Kisame a run for his money!' he thought.

Soon both ninja met in the middle of the bridge, both covered in blood.

Zabuza's bandages, pants, and arm warmers were soaked in blood, and it dripped from both his hair and his sword.

Blood ran like a waterfall from Naruto's mask. His arms were covered in it and pieces of flesh were still clinging to his clawed fingers, evidence of his bare-handed maulings. Even his hair was stained with blood, giving it an orange-ish tint not dissimilar to fox fur.

"How many?" Zabuza asked, grinning madly.

"One-forty-nine. You?"

"Same."

Both warriors looked around, trying to find at least two more victims. Both their eyes landed on two men that were trying to hide under the dead bodies of their comrades, hoping to be passed by.

But neither had any such luck as they were dragged out from under the carcasses and held captive by Naruto and Zabuza.

"Best kill?" Naruto asked.

"I'll go first." Zabuza grinned and looked at the man he held hostage.

The man looked back at him with unrefined terror in his eyes. "Please, have mercy!"

Naruto and Zabuza looked at each other, then laughed.

"Sorry, all outta mercy!" Zabuza grabbed the man's head with his right hand and held him down with his left.

With a primal roar his ripped the man's head clean off, taking a bit of spinal cord with it.

Naruto nodded appreciatively. "My turn." he grabbed his victim and lifted him over his head with ease.

Holding the man's leg in one hand and his neck in the other, Naruto slowly bent the man in half backwards. The man screamed in unimaginable pain as he was contorted beyond normal human limits. Naruto then slammed his arms together and, like a tree branch reaching its limit, the man's body violently snapped in half with a horrific 'crunch' that was audible hundreds of feet away. The thug's spine suddenly giving up the ghost was too much for the rest of his body to take.

Skin ripped like cheap cloth and muscle tore like wet toilet tissue as the thug's midsection exploded in a bloody shower of flesh and organs. Blood, intestines, and other miscellaneous insides cascaded down on Naruto's head and shoulders. He then pulled on the body, ripping what remaining flesh, ligaments and spine connected it and separating the two parts. More blood and entrails rained down on the bridge and on Naruto and Zabuza.

Naruto tossed the two pieces of the corpse off of the bridge and into the water for the sharks to eat.

"Well?"

Zabuza hung his head in defeat, then clapped. "You win. I don't think I've ever seen something like that before."

Naruto smirked. "You know what this means, right?"

Zabuza rose a non-existent eyebrow, the nodded. "One-fifty each."

Naruto nodded, then looked over to a cowering, blood soaked Gato. He was in the fetal position mumbling things about "Demons" and "Psychopaths" over and over again.

Both swordsmen slowly walked towards the short man, the only sound made was the squishing and wet pops of various organs being crushed. That and the occasional crunch of a skull being stomped on.

Gato lifted his head and screamed. He didn't see two humans walking towards him; what he saw were two grinning devils bearing down on him, looking for all the world like death incarnate.

"Goodbye, old bastard." Zabuza raised the Kubikiribōchō, but Naruto stopped him from swinging.

"No, we won't kill him."

Zabuza looked at the boy like he had grown a second head. "Say what now?"

"He has caused the people a Wave Country so much pain. What say we let them to return some of it?"

Zabuza grinned sadistically. "I like the way you think, Naruto." they both grabbed the psychological wreck that was Gato and dragged him off, kicking and screaming.

All the while Team Seven and Tazuna had been watching, and retching, as the slaughter took place. All of them had their eyes wide in horror.

Even Kakashi, the battle hardened veteran of the last Great Shinobi War, was in shock. He had a feeling that Naruto had been desensitized to violence long ago, but to tear, no, _break_ a man in half with his bare hands? That was a little too much.

Sakura, who had to alternate between upchucking and watching the grotesque spectacle, retched again, but nothing would come out. She had always thought of Naruto as some kind of monster or demon, mainly because of what her mother had drilled into her mind, but seeing the boy in action, that just confirmed it. She was now more convinced than ever that Naruto was some kind of sadistic demon in the employ of Konoha.

Sasuke, who was now awake, but barely, had seen what Naruto could do and realized that not even Itachi had been that brutal when he had annihilated their clan. He just burned, sliced, or broke people's necks and carried on, but Naruto had taken to ripping another person's organs out with his bare hands! And he was pretty sure he had just seen his teammate fold, then rip a man in half like an old, moth-eaten sweater.

Tazuna was just more terrified of ninjas than ever, and was also convinced that Naruto and Zabuza were somehow related...to the Lord of Hell.

Even Haku, who knew what her master was capable of and was somewhat used to it, cringed when she saw the kind of massacre that the two shinobi could create. And it wasn't just the brutality of it all, it was also the speed at which it took place. Naruto and Zabuza had completely demolished a small army of foes in under two minutes!

When everyone saw the two murderers walking towards them, dragging a screaming Gato, they instantly parted for them to go through, but wondered where they were going.

They all heard shouting from the other end of the bridge and they looked towards the noise. Everyone but Zabuza and Naruto tensed up, thinking that it was more of Gato's forces.

But when the people of Nami no Kuni, led by none other than Inari with his crossbow, came into view carrying pitchforks, kitchen knives, and anything else they could get their hands on, everyone sighed in relief.

The people of Wave were prepared to fight, but when they saw the scene of absolute carnage, they all stopped moving.

Naruto smirked at the terrified look on Inari's face. "Hello, Inari-san. I honestly don't know how you could have ever thought that this pathetic worm..." he gestured to Gato, "could ever beat me."

"Wha-what happened here?" one of the braver villagers asked.

Zabuza answered. "Isn't it obvious? Me and the kid here killed all of the midget's mercs."

Naruto nodded. "And, as someone who knows just how potent the want for revenge is, I've decided to let you...exact your pound of flesh on this...'man' here." Naruto and Zabuza tossed Gato over to the people of Wave.

Gato, thinking that he was free, tried to crawl away, but as he tried to make his way through the crowd, someone jammed a pitchfork into his leg. Gato screamed in pain and clawed at his leg, trying to free it.

"So, you're the scumbag that's been causing all this...I expected you to be taller." one woman said, before kicking Gato in the face.

Some of the men grabbed Gato and hoisted him into the air after ripping out the pitchfork.

"Let's string him up in town square!" one man yelled.

"For Kaiza!" another shouted.

"FOR KAIZA!" the entire population present chorused and marched off to punish the former shipping magnate/crime boss.

But Inari stayed behind. "Grandpa, are you alright?"

Tazuna sighed. "Yeah, I'm fine, a little sick..." he looked at the blood covered bridge and turned a bit green, "but I'm fine."

Inari nodded and looked over to Naruto, who was apparently chatting with Zabuza about something.

"Um...Excuse me, Naruto-san?"

Naruto looked down at Inari. "Yes?"

"I just wanted to say...thank you."

Naruto cocked his head to the side. "For what?"

"For giving me the courage to do something and not just hide from my problems."

Naruto shook his head. "I can't instill courage in someone, I can only awaken what was already there." ruffled Inari's hair.

Inari smiled and genuine smile for the first time in almost two years. "Thanks anyway. Now I see just how wrong I was about you."

Naruto crossed his arms. "I told you I was going to kill Gato's army, didn't I?"

Inari nodded. "Yep!"

Naruto looked out over the bridge. "Well, Tazuna-san, since I caused most of the destruction here, I'll help you to finish the bridge."

Tazuna nodded to the boy. "Thank you. But where are all of my workers?"

"Before I engaged Zabuza I took the liberty of removing...unwanted personnel from the battlefield."

Tazuna nodded, then smiled happily. "Well then, what say we go watch the _festivities_ in town square?"

Naruto just shrugged, but he really did want to see what the townspeople would do to Gato.

Zabuza was the same as Naruto, except he showed much more outward enthusiasm.

Haku just rolled her eyes at Zabuza's behavior.

Sakura's skin tone alternated from a deathly pale to a sickly green.

Kakashi just pulled out his Icha Icha book, but found that it had been cut to ribbons by Kitoro. He missed Naruto silently sheathing his sword.

Inari pumped his fist into the air. "Yeah!"

Sasuke passed out soon after the townspeople had left.

Naruto then spoke up. "I'm going back to your house, Tazuna-san, to pick up Kiriko and Chigusa. Anyone coming?"

"I'm definitely going to see Kiri-chan and Chi-chan!" Haku smiled happily, then frowned sadly when she realized that she would have to tell them of Kitoro's death.

Zabuza shrugged. "I'll go, I need to use the old man's shower." despite his seeming indifference, he really wanted to see the twins again and apologize for his behavior towards them.

Everyone else just walked off towards the town, following Tazuna and Inari. But Kakashi had to carry Sasuke.

Naruto picked up Kitoro's body and walked towards Tazuna's home, followed closely by Zabuza and Haku.

(At Tazuna's Home)

Tsunami paced rapidly back and forth in the kitchen, worried sick about her son and father.

Chigusa, Kiriko, and Seizonsha had been watching her do this for the past twenty minutes, and they were getting dizzy.

"Tsunami-san, stop worrying so much. Inari and Tazuna will be fine, especially with Naruto-nii-chan protecting them!" Kiriko said cheerfully, and Seizonsha yipped in agreement, both having the utmost confidence in their brother's power.

Chigusa also agreed, but in a much quieter manner. 'Usually I'm the one that acts like that. These past couple weeks have just really thrown me off.' she thought, wondering why she was suddenly so mellow.

There was a knock at the door and Tsunami ran to get it. Kiriko and Chigusa just stared at where the woman had been.

"That was mid-Chūnin speed, at least!" Kiriko said, quite stunned with the speed of the civilian woman.

There was a terrified scream from the doorway and the twins, along with Seizonsha, leapt into action. But when they got to the door, they found Naruto standing there carrying what looked like a corpse.

Naruto walked into the house after telling Tsunami that her family was fine and that she could find them at town square, doing Kami knows what to Gato. He went over to the couch and sat Kitoro's body down and sighed.

"Chi-chan, Kiri-chan?" Haku called out as she entered the room.

The sisters' head whipped around and the squealed when they saw Haku. The girls ran at each other and met in one huge glomp-fest.

Zabuza snorted at the display of affection and shook his head.

Chigusa and Kiriko finally let go of Haku and looked at Zabuza, then at Naruto, raising an eyebrow each at the blood that covered them.

"What-?" Kiriko was cutoff by Naruto.

"Zabuza and I slaughtered Gato's 'army'."

"Where's-?" Chigusa was cutoff by Zabuza.

"We let the townspeople deal with Gato."

The twins nodded, then looked around, like they were searching for someone. "It seems that everyone's here, but where's Kitoro-kun?" Kiriko asked.

Everyone seemed to be a bit sad; Haku looked away with tears in her eyes; even Zabuza hung his head sadly. But when the twins looked at Naruto, who in turn looked at the body he had carried in, the girls knew what had happened.

"He...He's dead?" Kiriko sobbed, already knowing the answer.

Kitoro's body was completely covered in his own cloak, and blood was rapidly soaking the fabric, dripping onto the carpeted floor.

Chigusa fell to her knees and cried. "Th-the last t-thing I e-ever said to h-him was a threat."

Kiriko hugged her sister as she herself remembered what she had said to Kitoro last time she'd seen him. 'Back off, Pig!' the words that she had said rang out in her mind, causing more tears to fall.

Haku joined the girls in crying, glad that she had people to share her pain with.

Naruto and Zabuza sighed and Naruto picked up the body. "Come on, we need to make a grave for him."

Zabuza nodded. "Yeah, he deserves at least that much."

"Cremated..." Haku choked out, along with another sob.

"What?" Zabuza turned to her.

"K-Kitoro-kun once t-told me that, w-when he d-d-died...that he wanted to be cremated..." Haku suddenly felt incredibly pathetic. She couldn't even remember Kitoro's favorite food, yet she could remember what he wished to be done with his body after his death. 'And I dare call myself his friend?' the revelation brought on another wave of sadness, starting a new series of whimpering sobs.

"...Very well, it'll be done." with that, Naruto walked out the door, followed by Zabuza after he had gotten the girls to pull themselves together enough to go with them.

Fifteen minutes later, Tazuna and the rest of the group, now including Tsunami, came back to the house and were startled to find the door open. They ran inside, ninjas first, only to find an empty home.

But upon closer inspection they found bloody footprints in the carpet and the bloodstained couch.

Kakashi looked at the prints and knew from the size that they were Naruto's and Zabuza's.

Kakashi looked over to his team and Tazuna's family. "Come on, we have to find those two before they cause trouble."

Tazuna scoffed. "You mean before they go psycho on innocent people."

Kakashi just sighed and walked out of the door, following the trail of blood.

They arrived at the top of a hill overlooking the town just in time to see Naruto light a fire under a pillar of wood with Kitoro's body on top of it. The flames quickly crawled up the pillar and cremated the teen's body, leaving nothing but ashes after a few seconds.

The five people gathered around the pillar looked over to the newcomers.

"Sorry, but you missed the funeral." Naruto said, waving his hand and extinguishing the remaining flames.

Tazuna rose an eyebrow. "For who?" he took a large gulp of sake.

"For Masara Kitoro, the shinobi you fought, Hatake." Zabuza said.

Sakura then decided to open her mouth. "You gave a missing-nin a funeral? Should have just burned him and been done with it."

Five different glares were instantly leveled on the pink-haired banshee.

"Watch your mouth, girl, unless you want to get scalped." Zabuza snarled.

Kakashi stepped in front of a now terrified Sakura. "That's enough. Even if we aren't enemies any longer, that doesn't mean that I will allow you to harm my students."

Naruto just rolled his eyes. "Whatever." he turned to the girls that were pretty much ignoring everyone. "Are you finished paying your respects?"

The girls looked over to the masked boy and nodded. "Yes, Namikaze-sama, we are done." they chorused.

Inari ran up to Naruto, smiling from ear to ear. "Naruto-san! You've gotta see what we did to Gato!"

Naruto cocked his head to the side, then looked at his vassals. "You up for it?"

Zabuza nodded eagerly, rubbing his hands together and chuckling evilly. The girls just nodded, slowly inching away from their former boss. Seizonsha leapt onto Naruto's head and yipped.

Naruto nodded and looked back at Inari. "Lead the way."

Inari grinned and started off towards town square once again, everyone following close behind.

After a ten minute walk, Naruto and company made their way through the streets of Wave, which were congested with cheering townspeople. When they saw the two ninja that Tazuna said had brought the former shipping magnate to his knees, the crowd instantly parted for them.

As they made their way to town square, they saw the form of Gato tied to a post in the middle of a huge circle of people. He was bruised and bloodied, the aftermath of hundreds of people beating him in various ways, but not killing him.

Naruto and Zabuza glanced at each other, then walked right up to the post.

"Well, well, well, what have we here?" Zabuza chuckled.

"Oh, how the mighty have fallen." Naruto said.

At the sound of the voices Gato's head jerked up and he screamed when he saw the two demons responsible for his current plight.

Naruto smacked the man, breaking his jaw and silencing him. "Shut up, worms are not meant to talk nor scream." he grabbed Gato by his hair and looked out over the crowd. "So, who wishes to strike the final blow?" he asked.

There were many murmurs throughout the crowd, then they all looked at Inari.

"M-m-me?" the boy asked.

The crowd nodded and cheered. "Yes, Inari, finish him for your father!" one man shouted.

"FOR KAIZA!" the rest sounded.

Inari walked up to Naruto, who took out a kunai and made a cross-shaped cut over Gato's heart, then handed Inari the blade.

"Are you sure you will be able to deal with the blood of another on your hands at such an age?" he asked.

Inari nodded without hesitation. "He's taken everything from this country, it's time he was put out of our misery!"

The crowd cheered. "INARI, INARI, INARI!"

Naruto nodded. "Well then, 'X' marks the spot."

Inari stepped up to Gato and spit in his face before raising the kunai. "This is for my dad!" he plunged the knife straight into the man's heart, killing him instantly.

The crowd's cheers became deafening as they hailed the son of the "Hero of Wave".

Naruto patted Inari on the shoulder. "You're not the pathetic little wimp that I thought you were. At least, not anymore. Congratulations, you've proven me wrong, and you've earned my respect." Naruto held out his hand.

Inari grinned and took it. It was truly a sight to behold. Both the sons of heroes, but acknowledged in completely opposite ways by the countries their fathers protected.

The son of the "Hero of Wave", and the "parentless" "Demon Child of Konoha". One a being of innocence and happiness, the other a being of rage and cold indifference. Two polar opposites in almost every way, yet they were shaking hands like that didn't matter. Like an angel and a devil putting aside their differences in a show of mutual respect.

The townspeople cheered until some lost their voices, voicing their happiness for the imminent rise of Nami no Kuni back to its former glory.

(Two Days Later)

It was finally time for Naruto, his team, and his new vassals to leave Wave Country. Naruto had kept his promise to help finish the bridge, but went a little overboard and finished it in one night with the help of a small army of Darkness Clones.

Seizonsha now knew a rather large amount of human words, and was currently in the process of secretly learning profanity from Zabuza.

Haku had immediately taken a liking to Naruto, but, for the life of her, couldn't figure out why.

Chigusa and Kiriko spent most of their time training Seizonsha either in combat or language skills, as well as training themselves.

Kakashi just read his porn, ignoring the glares and killing intent directed at him from all the females.

Sasuke was utterly pissed that he had been defeated so easily, with the Sharingan, by a "mere girl", as he put it.

Sakura was very hostile towards Haku, believing that she was yet another girl trying to get "her Sasuke-kun". But she never showed any blatant disrespect to the girl, still very much afraid of her.

Tazuna was drunk for the most part, since the bridge was finished all he did was lounge around all day and made the occasional trip to a friend's house to lounge there.

Tsunami went about her day as she normally did, but wasn't nearly as scared of Naruto as she was when he made the extent of his anger known. But Zabuza was another story entirely.

Inari hung around Naruto a lot, asking him what it was like to be a ninja, amount other things.

And Zabuza...Well, he was just himself, which was why Tsunami was so scared of him.

The ninja team was currently standing on the end of the bridge that led out of Wave, with the entire town's population seeing them off.

"Well, I guess this is where we say 'farewell'." Kakashi said overdramatically. "I...I just hate long goodbyes!"

Naruto smacked his masked forehead, then he remembered what he had done to his sensei's hair, and the Uchiha's.

In an almost invisible blur Naruto canceled the Genjutsu he had on Kakashi's hair and stole Sasuke's bandana, revealing both of their new 'dos.

Everyone suddenly stared, bug-eyed, at Kakashi and Sasuke.

Kakashi looked around. "What? Was my acting that good?"

Instead of the gravity-defying spike tower that Kakashi usually sported, his hair was now arranged into two "horns" that curved until the tips met, making a heart shape in the middle.

A few people snickered, but tried to hold it in. Then they looked at Sasuke, and couldn't take it anymore.

Instead of the normal "Uchiha Black" hair color, Sasuke now had bright pink hair arranged into two pigtails on either side of his head.

Damn near everyone fell to the ground in laughter. The only ones to remain standing were Naruto, Sasuke, Kakashi, and Zabuza.

Naruto because he already knew, but he was still laughing his ass off, it was just drowned out by everyone else. Zabuza because he was using Kubikiribōchō as a crutch. Sasuke and Kakashi because they had no idea what was going on.

The two Sharingan users turned to each other looking for answers, then they saw each other's hair and pointed at it while laughing. They then stopped, wondering what the other was laughing at. Kakashi pulled off his forehead protector and used it as a mirror. Sasuke's hand shot up to his head, searching for his bandana, but finding nothing but hair.

"SON OF A BITCH!" Kakashi and Sasuke screamed, making everyone laugh even harder.

Zabuza and Naruto both pulled out cameras.

"Smile and say: 'Butt Buddies Forever'!" Zabuza laughed and started rattling off photos along with Naruto.

(One Day Later)

Naruto and Co. were in the Hokage's office, handing in their full report. Naruto and Kakashi told Sarutobi all that had happened and about Zabuza and his crew.

"Well...That's quite a story." the aged Hokage sighed heavily, this meant a shitload more paperwork. "I suppose that you; Momochi Zabuza, Momochi Haku, Orasu Kiriko, and Orasu Chigusa are now under the protection of the Uzumaki clan. Welcome to Konohagakure! You will be given your ranks and made official shinobi tomorrow, after you get settled in."

Everyone nodded and left, but Naruto trailed behind.

"Wait for me outside." Naruto told Zabuza and company.

They nodded and went to the waiting room.

Naruto slammed the doors to the Hokage's office and slowly turned to the Third.

"Old Man...We need to talk."

Sarutobi gulped. 'Why do I get the feeling that this won't end well?'

XXXX

And there you are!

I'll warn you now, the next chapter may take a while because I have a lot of things to do in November and December. Family reunions, weddings, birthdays, random parties, and babysitting my many cousins. Oh, and I can't forget X-mas shopping..._Whoo-hoo_...

(1): The dust that Naruto got from crushing that Rabbit Imp's eye. And I know, it sounds like a drug.

(2): For future reference: Arcarian: Arse-air-e-in.

(3): Yep, it's an homage to Ghostrider, which I don't own.

(4): I know, bad pun. But I don't want to waste the good ones on a character I don't like all that much.

Well, that's about all I have to say, so peace to you all and happy holidays!

Jason Out!


	15. The Last Namikaze

Well, I'm back!

It's been hell for the past couple weeks. I've been shopping with five different people, drove through two states just to find one toy, and had to cook most of the Thanksgiving dinner for two different families! In short: it was total bullshit!

I also had to go to court. Reason? Two words: Black Friday. A lot of people got hurt at a Wal-Mart I went to that day, and three of them placed the blame for their injuries on me. So I had to deal with that, but it's all good, 'cause I won. Ha! Take that, bitches!...Sorry.

Anyway, here's the next chapter!

XXXX

Naruto made a few handseals, activating the sound seals in the room so no one else could hear them.

"Do you know anything about a man named...'Namikaze Minato'?"

The Hokage's eyes widened to almost impossible diameters.

"I-I-I have no idea who you're talking about." Sarutobi took a quick glance at the picture of the Yondaime.

Naruto didn't miss the look and sent a kunai into the head of the Fourth Hokage's picture. If he had've looked closely he would have seen the picture actually grimace in pain.

"Of course you know, Hokage-_sama_. You were the bastard's confidante, were you not?" Naruto hissed.

Sarutobi shook his head, intent on keeping up his charade for as long as it took.

Naruto sighed and opened a portal to the Shadow Realm, which part of his cloak crawled into and pulled out a large scroll.

The Third's eyes widened again. "The Forbidden Scroll of Sealing? How do you still have that?"

Naruto ignored the old man and opened the scroll, then began to read from it.

"'I can't take this anymore. My clan has gotten out of control! They wish to overtake Konoha and use everyone they don't kill as sacrifices to their demented God. As future Hokage, I can't allow this, but I can't do anything about it until I take office. I can't believe that I am a part of this deranged clan, or that my own father started this insanity!

It makes me wonder, if my clan is willing to do this to their own village, what are they willing to do to people who are not natives? Like my wife...what will become of her if this happens? No, I will not allow it, not now, not ever! I will slaughter my entire clan if I have to, but I will protect my precious people.

And the first step is to be taken right now. In this official document; I, Namikaze Minato, denounce my clan name. As of now, my only ties with those insane people will be through blood, and blood alone. I will never again be known as a Namikaze. From this day forward, I will be known as Kazama Arashi.

Signed: Namikaze Minato/Kazama Arashi, the future Yondaime Hokage.

Witness One: Sarutobi Hiruzen, the current Sandaime Hokage.

Witness Two: Jiraiya of the Sannin.'" Naruto finished and looked up to see a deathly pale Hokage. "I've seen your signature enough times to know that this is yours. So, how will you deny this?"

Sarutobi sighed and took out his pipe. "So...How did you find out?" he asked as he lit it.

Naruto shrugged. "The Shinigami told me."

Sarutobi looked back up at Naruto and snorted. "Cut the sarcasm, boy, who told you?"

Naruto shrugged again. "The Shinigami. He's the one who sealed the Kyuubi into me, so why wouldn't he know?"

The Third dropped his pipe. "THE Shinigami spoke to you? You know about Kyuubi?"

Naruto scoffed. "Oh come on, I know you've been watching me with that little ball of yours. But...I suppose I should tell you the whole story." he leaned in over the desk. "But if you tell anyone of this, I will destroy you. And once I tell you about this, you'll see just how I can accomplish that." Naruto sat down in a chair. "Do I have your word?"

The Sandaime nodded. "Of course. No one outside of this office will ever hear of this."

Naruto nodded, then began his tale. He told the aged Hokage about his first meeting with Kyuubi, the fact that "he" was a "she", about his half-demon status, the Soul Edge, his battle with Nightmare, the fact that Nightmare still resided within him, his new powers, Seizonsha's true origins, and his chat with the Shinigami himself.

By the end Sarutobi was completely stunned into silence. He had no idea what to say!

Naruto took the man's silence as disbelief. "I see...Well, how about I get Kyuu-chan and Nightmare out here and let them tell you themselves?"

That shocked the Third into talking. "YOU CAN RELEASE KYUUBI?" he shouted.

Naruto picked his ear, trying to get rid of the ringing. "No, but I can put her consciousness into a Darkness Clone and allow her to talk to you."

Naruto made two clones and had them sit in the chairs on either side of him. He bowed his head and concentrated, as did the clones.

Suddenly the clones' heads shot up and their eyes glowed red.

_"What the hell? Where am I?"_ the clone to the left of the original Naruto said in a voice that sounded nothing like the boy.

**"Do you have to be so loud?"** the clone to the right asked in a clearly feminine voice that held a powerful and commanding tone.

"Stop your bickering and tell the Old Man here what you know." the real Naruto said.

The clones looked at him, then at Sarutobi, then at each other, then at themselves.

**"...Can you change our bodies to look like...you know, us?"** the Kyuubi clone asked.

Naruto rolled his eyes behind his mask. "Fine." he thought about what they both looked like.

The clones began to morph into different shapes; one gaining a lot of mass and some kind of deformed arm, and the other losing mass and taking on a female figure.

The darkness that shrouded the clones during the change lifted and the chairs were now occupied by two demons. One was around six foot seven, over seven feet with the horn, and wore blue armor that likes of which Sarutobi had never seen before. The demon's monstrous right arm crushed the armrest of the chair, but he didn't seem to notice or care.

The other chair was now occupied by a woman that could only be described as the definition feminine beauty. She had long, blood-red hair; crimson eyes with slitted pupils, perfectly tanned skin, and a mischievous smirk. She wore a red t-shirt over black mesh and black pants tucked into shin-high combat boots. Her hands were delicate but strong, and her fingers sported perfectly pedicured claws. Even with the way she was slouching in her chair, her large breasts still showed through her shirt.(1)

**"Hey, eyes up here, Old Man."** Kyuubi said, smirking when she saw the man blush and look away.

Nightmare looked around, still confused. _"What the hell is going on? Why are we here?"_

Naruto gestured to the two demons. "Old Man Hokage, meet Nightmare and Kyuubi."

Sarutobi was, for the most part, paralyzed with fear. Over the years he had heard of many demonic warriors that ravaged battlefields, calling themselves "Nightmare". But, from what he had been told by Naruto, the demon before him was the original.

The Azure Knight raised his left hand to give a half-assed wave. _"Yo."_

Kyuubi's greeting was slightly more polite. **"Greetings, Sandaime-san."** she nodded to the man.

Sarutobi nearly fell out of his seat. The great Kyuubi no Kitsune was being polite and respectful to him, a "mere human"!

Naruto just shook his head at the old man's expression. "Kyuu-chan, Nightmare, just tell him what I said was true."

The two demons nodded and began their tale, which was almost identical to Naruto's, but with a few minor details only known by them.

After about twenty minutes, the Sandaime was floored. 'I'm getting WAY to old for this shit!' his eye twitched.

"So, do you believe me now?" Naruto drawled, not really caring.

The Hokage nodded and took a puff from his pipe."Well...that was quite...informative..."

That was like saying Orochimaru was weird. It was obvious, and a stupendous understatement. Sarutobi had just found out that the boy he had thought of as a grandson for that past twelve years had been a half-demon since the age of eight. He held the summoning contract for the Raven Clan, had a soul stealing demonic sword, two demons dwelling within him instead of one, and was well on his way to becoming a full-on demon himself.

"So...what now?" the Hokage asked, not really knowing where to go from there.

"Simple: I want what I'm entitled to. I want the Namikaze Clan home, all of their property, their scrolls and their money. In short; I want my birthright."

Sarutobi sighed, he should have seen that coming. "Don't you mean the Kazama Clan? The Namikaze were mysteriously wiped out sometime before Kyuubi attacked. They were very secretive, so we were used to not seeing any of them for months on end. Minato just went to the compound to get some scrolls, and found the grounds completely deserted. There was no sign of any battle, everyone was just...gone. No one knows what happened, and when they heard about what the clan was planning, no one cared."

Naruto shrugged. "That's exactly why I'm doing it. I'm taking the _Namikaze_ Clan's things just to spite that bastard, the Fourth. But I won't take up their ideals, I could care less about this "Dark God" that they worshipped."

The Sandaime sighed again. "Very well then." he walked over to the portrait of the Yondaime. 'Sorry, my friend.'

He took the picture down, revealing a blank wall, but Naruto could tell otherwise. His suspicions were confirmed when he saw the old man run his finger in seemingly random patterns across the wooden wall. Naruto could tell that he was, in fact, tracing a hidden seal there. This was once again confirmed when a glowing, golden seal appeared on the wall and a section of it slid back, revealing a small safe.

Sarutobi stood in front of the safe, obscuring everyone else's view of the small metal box, and put in the combination. He opened it and tossed two scrolls and a set of keys over his shoulder.

Naruto caught them. "I assume that these are the keys to the clan house. But what are these scrolls for?"

The Hokage turned around as the wall slid back into place and the seal reactivated itself.

"Those are the scrolls the Yondaime left you. Wait!" Sarutobi shouted when he saw Naruto toss the scrolls into the air and take a deep breath. "Don't burn them! They contain the Yondaime's prized techniques: the Rasengan and the Flying Thunder God Technique!"

Naruto stopped and let the scrolls fall into his hands. "I already know the Rasengan. I've even perfected it and made three variations so far."

Sarutobi's eyes widened. "You-how-when did-who...what are you?"

Naruto shrugged. "A half-demon."

Sarutobi shook his head. "That's not what I meant. It took the Fourth three years to create and master the original Rasengan. Yet you just got it from the Forbidden Scroll, what, a month ago? And you've already created variations of it? That shouldn't be possible!"

The man looked at Kyuubi, who held her hands up in defense. **"Don't look at me. I tried to get him to stop training all the time, but, contrary to what seems to be popular belief around here, I can't control him. At least, not for long."**

Naruto just shook his head. "So, did my _mother_ leave me anything?" he spat out the word "mother" like it was poisoned food.

Sarutobi didn't answer, trying to find the right words.

Naruto sighed. "Let me guess; she's not dead and even she thinks I am the Kyuubi in human form. She'd sooner ram a blunt pole through my heart than giving me anything of value, sentimental or otherwise."

Naruto was actually being sarcastic, but when the Sandaime was completely silent and stared at the floor in shame, Naruto knew that he had hit the nail on the head.

Nightmare and Kyuubi noticed this and pieced together the same conclusion as Naruto.

_"Well shit...That blows."_ Nightmare said.

Kyuubi nodded. **"I know...it's like one of those 'Soap Operas' that humans love so much."**

Naruto sent a death glare at the two demons, getting them to shut up, the lowered his head and his body shuddered.

Sarutobi thought the boy was crying, hell, he would too if he just found out what Naruto had.

"Don't worry about it, Naruto-kun. I'm sure she'll see the light one day." he tried to reassure the boy.

Naruto's shuddering "sobs" turned out to be malicious laughter. "No, she won't. If I had my way, she'd never see the light of another day. Besides, now she's right; I am a demon. But I don't care, she wants me dead, she can come get me herself. I will cut her down just like all those that have tried before her, and I can guarantee that it will be my most enjoyable kill ever." Naruto laughed evilly.

This sent shivers up the old man's spine. Even though he couldn't hear it in Naruto's voice, he could _feel_ the rage and hatred that the boy was directing at his mother. He truly did want to mutilate the woman that gave birth to him...then abandoned him.

"So...Is that all?" Sarutobi asked, silently praying that it was.

Naruto shook his head. "There's one last thing."

"What is it?"

"I want you to grant me the right to carry out the penalty for mentioning my 'burden' in public. I want to be able to kill anyone that so much as looks at me funny." Naruto hissed.

Sarutobi sighed again and took his seat. "You know I can't do that last one. I can let you carry out the penalty, but that's it."

"I don't think you understand. I'm going to do it anyway, I'm just asking permission first. This way I can kill them in public and set an example. I refuse to tolerate this treatment any longer, especially with my birthday being so close."

Sarutobi narrowed his eyes. "Ah yes, the festival."

Naruto snorted. "I don't give a damn about that festival. I'm not the little boy I once was, I won't allow anyone to push me around. I've tolerated their rioting and the mobs for far too long. This year, if I see even one mob, everyone in it will die. Civilians or shinobi, it makes no difference to me. They want to take on a demon? Then I'll send them to Hell, where they can fight all the demons they want. I suggest you send this warning out, because it is the only one I will give."

The tension in the air was rising at an alarming rate. If this didn't stop soon a fight was going to break out.

The Hokage looked into Naruto's eyes. "Naruto...I can't allow you to do that."

Naruto slammed his fists down on the Hokage's desk, breaking it in half. "Yet you can allow them to lynch an innocent child?"

Sarutobi rose from his chair and glared at Naruto. "I allow no such things!"

"Bullshit! I was nearly killed every year because of your leniency towards the villagers and the Clan Heads!"

The Hokage narrowed his eyes. "Do I have to remind you of whom you're speaking to? Watch what you say, boy." he warned.

Naruto scoffed. "So, they can attack me all they want, but I can't retaliate? Fuck you, Old Man."

"Watch your mouth!" the Third hissed.

"NO! I've kept quiet for too long! I've listened to you preach about the ignorance of the people and mob mentality, and I'm sick of it. It's my turn now, so sit your ass down and listen!" Naruto was right in the Hokage's face, not caring that he was heavily outclassed by the much older man.

Sarutobi glared at Naruto. "Who, exactly, do you think you are? Ordering me around? The power that you've gained from Kyuubi has apparently gone to your head."

Naruto's eyes glowed red behind his mask. "Oh, I assure you that I was given nothing, I earned my power. I trained by myself for years, pushing myself to the brink of death everyday. All I had was Kyuu-chan, no one else. I had no teachers, no tutors, no friends; nothing. I had to figure everything out on my own. Sure, I was given the hand seals and the basic effects of the techniques Kyuu-chan taught me, but I had to learn to control it myself. Do you know how many times I blew off my own body parts trying to learn the Fire Dragon Flame Missile? Or the Blackfire Dragon, do you have any idea how long it took me to get it to do anything but go in a straight line?

I damn near killed myself hundreds of times to get where I am, and I still have a long way to go. But can you say the same? You were trained by the Shodai and the Nidaime themselves. You were even part of one of Konoha's original clans. You are the one who was given your power, not me. Who are you to talk? Did you ever once show me anything? Teach me how to defend myself? You gave me one technique, and when I used it, it did more damage than help. You didn't help me with the technique, you didn't even show me how to control my chakra better. You just gave me the handseals and hoped for the best.

Well, if no one has told you before, then let me be the first. Hope is little better than a mirage in the desert. You search for it at every available moment, but when you finally find it, it turns out to be nothing; just a product of your own imagination. Only fools hope. But if you must, prepare for the worst before hoping for the best.

So what are you, Hokage-_sama_? Will you remain a hopeful fool, or will you prepare for the worst? You'd best heed this warning, because not even Kami-sama himself will be able to save the people of this village if they continue with their ignorant violence towards me. I don't care what you do. If you send ANBU after me, I promise you that I will take out at least half of this village before I go down."

Sarutobi narrowed his eyes even further and dropped his pipe to the ground. He grabbed Naruto by his armored vest and pulled him close.

"Be mindful of how you speak to me, _boy_, I will only tolerate so much." the man growled, stressing the fact that Naruto was still just a boy and had no right to speak to him the way he was.

Naruto scoffed and shrugged Sarutobi's hand off. "I don't give a flying fuck how much you _tolerate_, I've tolerated much more without so much as raising a hand to these people. Quite a feat, considering that I live in a village where me breathing seems to be some kind of unpardonable sin. I'll be taking my leave now, I have a new home to get to. But I'll warn you one last time; if a mob shows up at my doorstep, their souls are mine." he stepped back and looked to the two demons that were still present. "Anything to add?"

Kyuubi nodded. **"Yes, I have something to tell the Hokage." **she looked at the old man. **"If someone so much as touches Naruto under your order, you will have to deal with me personally. And guess what: when I attacked Konoha, I was only using about three tails worth of power. Just think of what would happen if I used...oh, say, five tails? Besides, if you do somehow manage to kill Naruto, you'd then be at war with the Raven Clan. You could even bring the wrath of the Shinigami himself down on this village, since he seems to favor Naruto for some reason." **the demoness would be lying if she said she wasn't suspicious of that last fact.

Then Nightmare raised his hand. _"And I doubt that you could kill him anyway. The Soul Edge will just absorb him and his soul would dwell within it until his body was repaired. He could easily escape death, even without the Death God's favor. While it is true that one soul does not equal another, the Soul Edge has hundreds of thousands of souls in it, so all the kid has to do is sacrifice a few hundred souls and he's free to go."_ he shrugged and his eyes locked onto a small orange book poking out from a large stack of papers.

Sarutobi sighed heavily, something he'd been doing a lot today, and plopped down in his chair. The tension seemed to drop from the air, but it was still there, just waiting to rise again.

"How about this: we just won't tell anyone where you live. You'll be moving out of that apartment anyway, so if a mob shows up, you won't be there. As long as no one knows where you live, no one will bother you."

Naruto rubbed his temples. For some reason, he had the worst headache. "You know as well as I do that news travels fast in this village. I just know that some nosey ANBU is going to see me walking into the clan house and he's going to tell his friends, then they'll tell their other friends. Things will go on like that until the entire village knows where I live, once again. Remember, no one was supposed to know that I had moved into that apartment building, yet I was attacked on the first day...by three different people."

The Hokage threw his hands up. "Fine! What do you suppose we do? And don't say 'kill them all'!"

Naruto shrugged. "How much of the forest surrounding the Namikaze home did the clan own?"

"Around five-hundred acres, why?"

"I'm going to turn that forest into my own little piece of Hell on Earth. No one will get through it unharmed without my say-so, no matter how strong they are."

The Third looked at Naruto incredulously. "And how will you do that?"

"Simple; I'm going to bring a part of the Shadow Realm here. I'm going to open up a permanent portal to the Shadow Realm, then expand it to cover the entire area. I can even make my own monsters. The beasts in the Shadow Realm are nothing but physical manifestations of the element itself, and since I have control over Darkness, I can make beings of my own as well. And as long as the portal remains open, they can stay here for as long as I please. And since I created them, they will be loyal only to me." Naruto had to resist the urge to laugh like some kind of evil genius.

Sarutobi just shook his head. "Fine. You own the property now, so you can do whatever you want with it. Just make sure you put some kind of warning up, just in case some innocent child stumbles upon the area."

Naruto just waved his hand dismissively. "Sure, whatever. Anyway, is there a map to this place? I'd rather not be wandering around in broad daylight looking for my house, I want to be completely unnoticed when I do this."

Sarutobi reached into a drawer and took out another scroll, which he tossed to Naruto.

"Now get out of my office, you're giving me a headache."

Kyuubi went back into her cage to sleep, and Nightmare went back to wherever it is that he hid when he isn't needed or annoying people. As the two demons receded back into Naruto's mind, his clones reverted back to their original states, so there was now three Narutos in the office.

The original Naruto snorted. "Fine, you Old Monkey. I was going to tell you how to get your paperwork done in a few minutes flat, but now, I don't think I will." he turned to leave.

The Hokage, who had been glaring at the huge stack of papers of his desk, wishing he had a tape measurer to prove that the stack was growing without any assistance, whipped his head in Naruto's direction.

"WAIT!" the old man shouted as Naruto was about to walk out. "What is it? Tell me, I have to know!"

Naruto just snorted and looked at his two clones, who, in turn, dissolved, then walked out.

Sarutobi cocked his head to the side, what was that supposed to mean? "All he did was dismiss his clones...That's it, clones!" the man cackled madly and rounded on the stack of papers. "I've got you now, you evil bastards!" ten more Hokages popped up behind the original.

The clones didn't need any verbal commands to know what to do and each got to work, signing and stamping papers at a phenomenal rate.

Naruto smirked when he heard Sarutobi's cry of victory. 'I'm surprised the legendary "Professor" didn't figure that out sooner.'

He walked into the waiting room and saw Zabuza sleeping, Haku reading a book, and the twins playing with Seizonsha. The little fox saw her brother and ran over to him, then jumped onto his shoulder.

Naruto chuckled and scratched the kit behind her ear, making her purr and lean into his finger. "Well then, now that I've taken care of that, let's go." everyone got up to follow Naruto out.

(Half An Hour Later)

"...Are we there yet?" Zabuza asked...for the sixty-fifth time.

Naruto and his small group had been walking for over thirty minutes, most of which was through a dense forest.

Naruto sighed and rolled up the map he was looking at. "As a matter of fact, we are. It's just behind these trees." he walked in between said trees, followed by his vassals.

When they saw the Namikaze clan home, their jaws dropped...well, Naruto's eyes widened a bit. It was absolutely massive!

It was like the Hyūga clan home, but with a taller wall surrounding the main and minor structures. From where Naruto and the others were standing, they could see the huge front gates and the gigantic five-story building that made up the main house.

"...I-is this really where you live?" Haku asked.

Naruto scratched his head a bit. "...Now it is." the others sweatdropped.

Zabuza stared at Naruto. "What do you mean by that?"

"I mean that this place is my birthright, but it seems to have been hidden from me my entire life. I was just talking to the Hokage about claiming what's mine." Naruto walked up the main gates and pressed his hand to them.

There was a bright flash and Naruto pulled his hand back, but he was missing four of his fingers.

Naruto stared at his hand and cocked his head to the side. "...Well...that was..._unexpected_." he could already feel and see his demonic healing abilities going to work on his injuries.

Everyone stared as dark purple chakra surrounded Naruto's hand and his fingers grew back.

The masked ninja flexed his new fingers experimentally, making sure there were no problems. When he was satisfied he looked back at the gates.

"...What...The...Fuck?" Zabuza and, surprisingly, Seizonsha said together.

Naruto looked at them both. "...I'll talk to you two later. But right now, I have a seal to disable." tendrils of Darkness slowly slithered out from Naruto's hands.

The tendrils touched the barrier, which tried to repel them, but they slipped through anyway. When they passed, the barrier flashed, then faded, and an intricate seal appeared on the gates. It was at least twelve feet in diameter and looked like strange arcane symbols piled on top of a simple spiral. The seal glowed brighter as the tendrils neared it, then it began to shoot off beams of light that cut right through them.

Naruto narrowed his eyes. 'Light, eh? So, that's the way you wanna play, _father_? Then let's try this.' he sent out a thousand more tendrils.

The seal blasted the bigger ones, but missed the smaller ones. They latched onto the seal and began their task of corrupting it and making it bend to their master's will.

The blasts from the seal weakened, allowing the most powerful ones to resist them and latch on as well. The glow from the seal began to dwindle as the bright yellow and white was taken over by black and purple. The entire seal was eventually changed from Light to Darkness, thus allowing Naruto to enter the compound.

The boy smirked. 'My new Shadow Virus seems to be a success.' he walked up to the gates.

There was a metallic whirring sound and the loud screech of unused gears turning as the gate opened. Naruto and company walked inside and stared in awe at the compound. It was even bigger than they thought!

There were four one-story houses in every corner of the compound, and four two-story homes surrounding the huge tower in the middle. The place even had its own streets! Of course, it was deserted. The paths hadn't been walked on for at least twelve years, probably longer since the Yondaime was the only one who would have lived here, and he lived in the Hokage Tower during his brief time in office.

"Holy shit..." Zabuza said, his mouth agape.

"You can say that again." Haku said, her expression the same as Zabuza's.

"...Holy shit..." Zabuza said again.

Naruto just nodded appreciatively. "This is pretty nice. Seems the Bastard's clan had some taste."

Chigusa and Kiriko said nothing, they just stared.

'The Orasu clan compound wasn't even half this size!' Chigusa thought.

Naruto looked at Seizonsha, who didn't seem to have any reaction to the complex. Most likely because she didn't understand what was so special about it.

"So, I guess it's time to explore a bit." Naruto opened up a portal and pulled out five headset communicators. "We'll each check out different parts of the compound. If you find anything, radio in for help if you need it. We'll meet at the tower in two hours." he handed out the headsets.

Everyone nodded and put them on. "I've got the Southwest corner." Zabuza said.

"I've got the Northeast corner." Haku said.

"Southeast." Kiriko said.

"I'm sticking with my Nee-chan!" Chigusa said happily.

Naruto just shook his head. "Alright, then I've got the Northwest corner. Be careful out there...something just doesn't feel right about this place."

Everyone nodded and set off to their destinations.

As he walked towards the four homes in the Northwest corner, he couldn't shake the feeling that he was being watched by someone, or something.

'That seal shouldn't have been that easy to corrupt, it was the work of a seal master after all. Something else has already been here and has disrupted it before. And I'm willing to bet that whatever it was is still here.' he saw a vague form dart around in the shadows behind a house. 'Definitely still here.'

_"Kid, you now have to ability to sense souls. Use it."_ Nightmare said.

Naruto nodded and closed his eyes. He extended his senses as far as he could and used chakra to feel out souls.

'Seizonsha...Zabuza...Haku...Chigusa...Kiriko...and one that I don't recognize, bingo.' Naruto thought, tightening his grip on the Black Soul.

He didn't radio in because he saw no reason to do it yet. Whatever was stalking him must have been observing him. And judging by its actions, it was content to stay in the shadows and watch. At the moment it wasn't a threat, so Naruto let it think that it was still hidden from him.

'Whatever that thing is, it doesn't seem to be that strong.' Naruto thought, then a shadow passed over his head and he looked up. "What the hell?"

Zabuza tried the doorknob to the first home. The door opened, much to his surprise, and he walked in.

"Hello? Anybody home?" he said sarcastically. "Your door was open, so I just let myself in." he chuckled, then he heard the sound of something sliding across a table. 'Is there really someone here?' he thought as he laid his hand on the hilt of his zanbatō.

Zabuza slowly walked into what he assumed was the kitchen. He checked all the cabinets, seeing plates, bowls, drinking glasses and cups all spotless and perfectly stacked.

Zabuza then noticed something odd. This had supposedly been vacant for the past twelve years, according to Naruto, yet there was not even a hint of dust anywhere. No signs of any kind of grime. The carpeting was still fresh, the walls were unmarred, the hardwood parts of the floor completely spotless.

"Ghost maids?" Zabuza laughed, then felt a sudden chill run up his spine. The kind of feeling you get when someone just barely touches you, but you still feel it. And he also got the feeling that he had just offended someone. "...Okay...Moving on."

Zabuza walked around a corner and into a hallway with four doors. He opened one and found a large, but fairly basic bathroom. He opened another and found what looked like the master bedroom, judging from the huge king size bed.

As Zabuza opened the last two doors, which were more bedrooms, he noticed that these rooms were also free of any kind of imperfection. The beds were made, the walls and carpets were clean enough to eat off of, and the dressers were completely free of dust.

After he came out of the last room, Zabuza saw something that made him want to run out screaming. When he walked out of every room, he never closed the door behind him. But there all the doors were; closed like they had never been touched.

"What the hell is going on here?" Zabuza asked no one in particular.

A cold breeze suddenly blew through the hallway. Zabuza shivered as it washed over him.

"Shit! It was eighty degrees in here just a second ago!"

Zabuza began to slowly walk towards the door to leave, but then he felt something that made him stop cold: someone's warm breath on the back of his neck. He whirled around with the Kubikiribōchō and slashed at whatever was behind him, but he cut nothing but air.

"What the fuck?" he growled.

The cool breeze came over him again and he shivered, but not because of the cold, but because of the message it carried.

_"Get out..." _a phantom whisper floated into Zabuza's ears.

Zabuza's eyes widened and he looked around madly, searching for anything that could have possibly said that.

_"Get Out..." _the whisper was more harsh this time, like it was annoyed by Zabuza's lack of movement.

"Who are you?" Zabuza asked, on the off chance that the voice would actually respond.

_"GET OUT!"_ the whisper became a violent rasping hiss and the breeze grew into a gale-force wind.

Zabuza was actually being blown back from the force of the wind, but nothing else in the hallway was being affected by it. The paintings on the walls remained perfectly still, the small lamp on top of a little book case didn't budge an inch, and the vase next to it was undisturbed.

'Screw this!' Zabuza thought to himself, then bolted out the door, and on to the next house.

(With Haku)

Haku was already on her second house, not having encountered anything overly weird in the previous one. The only remotely odd thing was the fact that the homes had been unused for twelve years, yet everything was clean.

That and she constantly got the feeling she was being watched. She looked around, but found nothing out of place. Even in the houses she felt like she was being stalked.

'I don't like this at all.' Haku thought as she exited the master bedroom.

She had found the first thing she had seen out of place in the house. The king size bed in the room had its sheets ruffled and there was a slight indent in them, like someone had been sitting there just before she walked in.

She walked into the bathroom and checked her face in the mirror. Haku, satisfied with her appearance, turned on the faucet, filled a couple of water bottles, and splashed some water on her face.

"That's better." she sighed and looked into the mirror again.

The mirror showed that she had two heads, or more accurately, someone was looking over her shoulder. It was a woman in her mid twenties with dark brown eyes and red lipstick and black hair. What really scared Haku was the fact that it looked just like her, but ten years older.

She whipped around and flung four water needles behind her, but they just pierced the wall. No one was there, but Haku could still feel someone's presence. She knew she wasn't alone in the room.

'...Outta here.' Haku ran out of the bathroom and out the door, moving on to her third house.

(With The Orasu Twins)

Chigusa and Kiriko looked around the room they were currently in. It was some kind of living room, with two three-person couches and a large television opposite of the fireplace.

"This place is pretty nice." Chigusa said.

Kiriko nodded. "Yeah...It's a little too nice." she narrowed her eyes.

Chigusa rose an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

Kiriko looked over her shoulder, making sure no one was behind her. "Naruto-nii-chan said that this entire compound has been abandoned for at least twelve years, right?"

Chigusa nodded. "Yeah, so?"

"Can you imagine the amount of dust that would accumulate over that period of time?"

"Yeah, a crapload."

"Exactly. But do you see any dust at all?"

Chigusa looked around, and indeed there was not even a hint of dust anywhere.

"Well, clans with compounds this big always have maids, so they could be doing the cleaning."

"Oh come on, a clan with this much wealth wouldn't trust hundreds of maids here all by themselves!" Kiriko said, then felt a chill go down her spine.

Chigusa shivered and rubbed her arms. "Do you feel that?" she asked.

Kiriko nodded. "Yeah, the temperature just dropped by at least thirty degrees." she took out her ninjatō, something was here with them.

Chigusa took out one sai and two throwing knives. "Maybe we should leave?"

Kiriko shook her head. "No, there is no threat as of yet, but keep all your senses open. We aren't alone in here."

"Then let's call the others!"

"There's no point! Look, let's just check out the rest of the house, then leave."

"Fine, but let's make it quick. I don't like this place."

Their headsets started to crackle with static as voices came through.

"Some freaky shit just happened to me!" it was Zabuza.

"Same here. I think I just saw myself in ten years." the next voice was Haku's.

"What part of 'get out' do you people not understand?" another voice came through, but it wasn't from anyone they knew.

"YOU AGAIN?" Zabuza screamed, then his headset went off.

"Zabuza-sama? Zabuza-sama!" Haku's headset went quiet as well.

Chigusa and Kiriko looked at each other, then turned the knob on their headsets to Naruto's frequency.

"Nii-chan? Something weird is going on here!" Chigusa said.

Naruto's voice came over the static. "Tell me about it. Fuck off!" snarling noises accompanied his voice, followed by a sharp yelp of pain from a large canine.

"What's going on?" Kiriko asked.

"I opened a closet in one of the bedrooms and a pack of wolves came out of it! There has to be a hundred of them!" a loud snapping noise told the twins that Naruto had broken something's neck.

"Do you need help?" Chigusa asked.

"I think we should all regroup and get to the tower. But you might have to meet me in the Northwest corner of the compound. These things just keep coming! Every time I cut one down two more take its place!"

Chigusa and Kiriko nodded to each other. "We have to find Zabuza and Haku first, their radios went out while we were talking to them."

"Fine, find those two and get over here!" Naruto's headset went dead.

"Shit!" Chigusa cursed.

"Alright, you find Zabuza and I'll get Haku." Kiriko said.

"We'll meet up at the tower, then go to Naruto-nii-chan."

"Right." and with that both sisters ran towards their targets' locations.

Chigusa had found Zabuza first, hiding in a dark alley, seemingly waiting for something to pass him so he could decapitate it. She had tapped him on the shoulder and instantly ducked, which was a wise move, considering Zabuza's giant cleaver sailed over her head a millisecond later.

Zabuza then went into his overdramatic, "Are you trying to give me a heart attack?" rant, but was quieted when he saw that Chigusa wasn't paying attention. When she told him what she and her sister were doing, he readily agreed, not wanting to be alone incase something similar to Naruto's situation happened to him. He knew damn well a sword as big as his wasn't made for foes less than three-fourths his height.

Kiriko found Haku sitting on the roof of one of the houses. Her excuse was that she was hoping that whatever was doing these things wouldn't attack her out in the open.

When the sisters met at the tower, Zabuza and Haku right behind them, the tried their radios again.

"Naruto-nii-chan? Hello?" Kiriko tapped the headset, but still got nothing but static.

"Kid? What the hell are you doing?" Zabuza asked into the communicator, but got no response. "...Are you fucking one of the ghost maids?" he almost fell to the ground laughing when he saw the expressions on Haku and the sisters' faces.

"...'Ghost maids'?" Haku asked.

Kiriko just shook her head.

"...How could he have sex with a ghost?" Chigusa looked like she was actually thinking of ways to do it.

Kiriko stared at her sister in disbelief. "...What's wrong with you?"

Chigusa grinned. "Why, whatever do you mean, dear sister?"

Kiriko was about to go off on her sister, but decided against it. "I'll deal with you later, right now we have to find Naruto-nii-chan!" she and the others ran off towards the Northwest corner of the Namikaze compound.

(With Naruto)

Naruto rolled to the side just as another dark grey wolf snapped at him. He jammed his sword through its neck in response.

'Where the hell are they coming from?' Naruto though as he split one from muzzle to tail.

Another wolf ran by, but it didn't attack him. The reason; it was currently covered in blue flames and howling in pain.

"Good girl." Naruto said to Seizonsha, who was on a nearby roof spitting blue fireballs at any wolf that got within range.

"Thanks, Onii-san!" the little kit said, then set another wolf on fire.

While Naruto was occupied with the five wolves in front of him, he didn't register the two that were sneaking up on him. Just as they were about to lunge, their heads were suddenly separated from their bodies.

"You need to be more careful, Naruto-kun." a teenage woman dressed all in skintight leather said, twirling a huge scythe in her right hand.

"Bite me!" Naruto yelled over the snarling wolves, one of which latched onto his arm. "Not you!" he grabbed its top jaw and ripped its head in half.

The leather clad woman stood back to back with Naruto and smirked. "Any place you'd prefer?" she cut two more canines in half.

Naruto didn't miss a beat. "Surprise me." he made one wolf swallow the Black Soul's blade.

The woman's smirk grew. "Alright." she suddenly whirled around a bit into Naruto's neck hard enough to draw blood.

Naruto winced. "Dammit, Kurohane, now's not the time for this!"

The woman shrugged. "You told me to surprise you."

How did Naruto end up in this situation?

(Flashback)

Naruto looked up as a shadow passed overhead.

"What the hell?" he put his arm up to shield his head.

A huge black bird landed on Naruto's arm. "Nice to see you, too." it spoke with a feminine huff.

"Kurohane?" Naruto looked at the bird.

It nodded. "The one and only! So, how's it goin', Naruto-kun?"

Naruto sighed. "I'm kinda busy right now."

Kurohane looked around. "Did you discover a new town or something?"

Naruto shook his head. "No, this is my new home."

The raven rounded on Naruto and stared at him. "Bullshit."

"I shit you not, I inherited this place. It's the Namikaze Clan Compound."

Kurohane stared for a bit longer, then nodded. "That's pretty cool!"

Naruto shook his head. "Are you bipolar or something? You act nothing like you did when we first met."

"That was business, and technically this is, too, but it's more personal."

"And what is your business here?"

"Simple; I've volunteered to be your Familiar!" Kurohane said cheerfully.

"My what now?" Naruto cocked his head to the side.

Kurohane sighed. "Your companion. My father said that someone from the clan should watch over you at all times because you were very important to the boss as well as the clan itself. More than a few others wanted the job, but I turned out to be the most _qualified_." she winked at Naruto.

Naruto sighed. "Whatever."

"Who are you?" Seizonsha spoke up.

Kurohane looked at the little fox. "I'm Kurohane, youngest daughter of Lord Garandou, the head of the Raven Clan." the bird bowed. "And you are?"

"Seizonsha, Naruto-onii-san's younger sister!" the kit introduced herself happily.

Kurohane cocked her head to the side and looked at Naruto. "She's your sister?"

"Long story."

"Ah." the raven nodded in understanding.

"Look, do you have a human form or something? it's kinda weird to be hit on by an animal."

Kurohane giggled. "Of course I have a human form!" the raven hopped to the ground and was encased in shadows.

The shadows morphed and grew in height until it was around six feet tall. When the shadows cleared, Naruto's eyes nearly flew out of his mask.

Before him stood the definition of "Raven-haired beauty". She had a perfectly heart-shaped face and pale skin. She wore her long black hair in a large braid that went down to the small of her back. Her outfit consisted of a black, skintight leather bodysuit that showed off her voluptuous hourglass figure and her generous breasts. She wore black, shin-high combat boots and black leather gloves with rubber grips on the palm. Her lips, decorated with black lipstick, seemed to be stuck in a cute pout as she stared at Naruto with her red eyes.

"You're staring, aren't you?" Kurohane asked.

Naruto was about to deny it, but he really didn't really care about shame, so he nodded.

"Mm-hm." he mumbled. "Could you do a little spin for me?" he was actually joking, but when the girl really did it he didn't complain.

"How was that?" Kurohane asked.

"...One more time, but slower." Naruto ducked when the woman tried to slap him.

"Pervert!" she giggled slightly.

"You say that like it's a bad thing." Naruto cocked his head to the side.

Normally Naruto wasn't one for jokes unless he was pranking someone, but he could trade banter with the best of them when he wanted to. Though his humor was often too dark for people to get, or too "perverted" for people to even want to get.

Kurohane just shook her head and giggled. "You know, you're a very bad boy, Naruto-kun." she walked around behind him. "And you should know what happens to bad boys..." she smacked his ass, hard.

"...Ow..."

Kurohane gave his rear a firm squeeze. "Aww, is that better?" she got her answer in the form of a light growl of pleasure from Naruto.

Inside of her cage Kyuubi was secretly taking notes of the goings on outside.

**'Naruto secretly likes to be groped, and seems to have some masochistic tendencies.' **she jotted everything down in a little journal she kept under her bed.

Nightmare, who had been watching the fox woman do this for quite some time, spoke his thoughts.

_"You know, those glasses look pretty cute on you."_ the demonic knight said offhandedly.

Kyuubi looked at him. She had her hair tied back in two pig tails that when down to the small of her back, and she wore round reading glasses that were way to big for her eyes. In short: she did, indeed, look very cute.

**"You think so?" **she toyed with her spectacles.

Nightmare nodded. _"Yeah, especially if the kid has hidden schoolgirl fantasies..."_ he trailed off.

**"..."** Kyuubi blinked, then both demons ran off to explore Naruto's mind. One looking for any hidden fantasies that she could use to get Naruto in the sack, and the other simply looking for blackmail material.

Meanwhile, Naruto, accompanied by Seizonsha and Kurohane, entered his first house. He immediately knew something was wrong.

"Kurohane, Seizonsha, something isn't right about this place. Be on guard."

Kurohane summoned a large scythe that was as long as she was tall. its snaith(handle or shaft of a scythe)was decorated with glowing, purple runes and seals, which meant that it most likely held some kind of demon or alternate power of its own. The blade itself was over two feet in length and held the traditional curve of normal scythes, but the topside was serrated as well. Two crimson "eyes" glowed near the base of the blade where it connected with the snaith.

Naruto snorted. "Figures, a Messenger of Death carrying a scythe." he referred to some old legends that he had read from hundreds of years before the Elemental Countries.

They depicted a tall, skeletal being wearing a black, hooded robe and carrying a huge scythe wandering the battlefields after wars and taking the souls of the deceased to their final resting place. In the book it was labeled as the "Grim Reaper".

Kurohane pouted. "Bite me."

Naruto stopped walked and looked at her. "...I would, but then I'd have to take off my mask. But if you really want it..." a tendril of his cloak formed into a "mini-mouth" and seemed to be grinning.

"...No."

Naruto shook his head and released his control over the cloak. "Whatever." he continued walking through the one-story house.

Seizonsha clung to Naruto's cloak tightly, she didn't like this place at all, but she didn't voice her fears. She knew that she could rely on her big brother and the "weird bird lady".

Naruto instantly noticed the lack of dust and dirt in the home. Nothing seemed to be out of place, no signs of anything having been moved for a long time.

Kurohane and Naruto checked the bedrooms individually, but found nothing out of place. That was until they came to the master bedroom, which had been locked when Kurohane had tried the knob first.

"Weird, that door wouldn't even budge for me." Kurohane said as she readied her scythe, she had a bad feeling about the master bedroom.

"Maybe it just doesn't like you." Naruto commented.

"Oh? And what reason would it have to like you?" the raven turned woman huffed.

Naruto shrugged. "Could be the same reason you do."

Kurohane tapped her chin. "So, it wants to see what you're hiding under that mask as well?" she smirked.

Naruto glared at the door. "When hell freezes over and the devil makes a snowman."

Kurohane laughed and shook her head. "You're crazy."

"Insane, psychotic, sociopathic, genocidal, take your pick." Naruto shrugged again.

"Sociopathic for the win!"

Naruto gave Kurohane the finger. "Sit and spin."

Kurohane grabbed Naruto's hand before he could react and licked his middle finger from the knuckle to the tip of his fingernail.

"Save that kind of stuff for the bedroom, you naughty boy." she winked.

Naruto looked at his finger, then at Kurohane, then back at his finger. "...If you think this little thing needs to be lubed up, then I don't think you'll make it to the bedroom."

Kurohane had the decency to blush and moved passed Naruto into the master bedroom, effectively ending the Battle of Innuendos.

'...Who's the King? I'm the King.' Naruto let a bit of his ego show through.

Naruto looked around the bedroom and whistled when his eyes landed on the bed. Or, more specifically, who was on the bed.

Kurohane was stretched out on the king size bed in a very _provocative _pose. She was laying on her side with her left arm propping up her head and her right resting on her shapely hips. Her leather suit was unzipped from her neck to just below her breasts. Her half-lidded eyes stared hungrily at Naruto and she unconsciously licked her lips.

"You like?"

Naruto nodded. "Hell yeah, that bed is huge!"

Kurohane rolled off the side of the bed, the hopped up and glared playfully at Naruto. "Very funny." she said sarcastically.

"Thank you, I just thought it up." Naruto said with just as much sarcasm.

Kurohane was about to reply, but she suddenly felt a strong sense of foreboding.

Naruto and Seizonsha felt it as well and they all looked towards the large walk-in closet at the other end of the room.

The masked boy and his familiar looked at each other and nodded, readying their weapons. Naruto stepped ahead and took hold of the closet door's handles, then jerked them open and hopped back. But nothing but darkness resided inside the closet.

Naruto was about to walk into it, but his cloak suddenly went crazy, black tendrils flying around wildly.

"Shit, get out of here! Now!" Naruto backpedaled towards the door, but not before tossing Seizonsha to Kurohane.

Just as Naruto got near the bedroom door, large, snarling wolves started to pour out of the closet.

"What the hell?" Naruto growled as he started slicing the canines apart.

(End Flashback)

And now Naruto, Kurohane, and Seizonsha find themselves severely outnumbered, but far from outmatched and outclassed. The slaughter had been going on for a good fifteen minutes, and still the warriors were tearing through the wolves at a frightening rate. But it never seemed to be enough, more just kept coming through the hole in the wall Naruto had made to get out of the house. The only they could think of to stop them was to destroy the house, but the wolves were too smart and too numerous to let them.

None of the fighters even got a chance to breathe, much less use a technique to blow up the house. The only one who would of had a chance of doing so would be Seizonsha, and the wolves were smart enough to keep her far enough away from the house to keep her flames out of range. And any time she tried to launch a fireball at the structure, a random wolf would sacrifice itself and take the hit.

'All I need is a single breath and I can end this...' Naruto thought, breaking a wolf's spine in half. 'But these damned mongrels don't let up at all!'

Two wolves latched onto Naruto's arms, applying enough pressure with their jaws to break Naruto's bones and force him to drop his sword.(2)

Naruto didn't flinch at all, pain was just a minor inconvenience to him now. He saw another wolf leap across the others straight at him, jaws open and ready to deliver a lethal bite to his throat. But its attack was canceled by its death via three senbon needles in the head, courtesy of Haku.

Zabuza dashed in with his cleaver and started cutting anything with more than two legs in half.

Chigusa jumped up to the same roof as Seizonsha and used her throwing knives to keep the rabid canines at bay.

Kiriko used a combination of her Blood Fist, precise and fatal attacks with her ninjatō, and an imperfect form of "absolute defense" she had developed. Anything that got close to her was either cut down, crippled, or critically injured. Anything that actually got close enough to attack was fried be her new defense: a permanently active Closed Circuit.

Haku jumped up to a roof opposite of Chigusa and Seizonsha, took out a few water bottles, and started launching water and ice needles at any furred being. Seizonsha being the obvious exception.

They all noticed a new leather clad woman fighting alongside Naruto, but none of them had time to dwell on it.

After about five more minutes of killing, the newcomers were starting to tire. After all, they were the normal ones of the group, if you consider the two half demons and the supernatural bird/woman.

"Don't...they...ever...stop?" Kiriko panted.

"Apparently...not." Zabuza huffed out, laboriously swinging his sword and dispatching seven wolves.

Naruto then saw his chance. He dashed through the gap Zabuza had made and leapt up to a roof.

'Finally!' he thought as he went through the demon seals and took a deep breath. "Demon Skill: Blackfire Dragon!" he launched the dark dragon from his mouth.

The Blackfire Dragon roared towards its target at awesome speed, slamming into the walls and exploding.

When they saw the dragon, everyone instinctively fled. Among the first to leave was Zabuza, who knew all too well what that technique did.

The dragon exploded just as they got out of range of the blast, but they were still knocked off of their feet by the pressure wave alone.

The explosion did more than destroy the house; it leveled all four homes and created a huge crater over six-hundred feet in diameter and at least twenty feet deep. Since Naruto was pretty much desperate to destroy the house, he didn't check the amount of chakra his put into his attack. And the consequences of that little oversight were probably heard and felt by half of Konoha.

But the upside to Naruto's overzealous destruction was that all of the wolves had been annihilated by the blast as well.

Naruto jumped down from the roof and landed next to Kurohane.

"Well that sucked." he brushed some fur off of his shoulders.

Kurohane looked at Naruto. "You think you could have made that louder?"

Naruto shook his head. "Now I know what people mean when they say there's no pleasing women." he started making demon seals again. "Demon Skill: Black-!"

"NO!" Kurohane tackled Naruto...Or at least she _tried_ to tackle him, but it really turned into something of a flying hug, since Naruto didn't budge.

But it did the trick and stopped Naruto from making a bigger boom.

Naruto looked down at Kurohane, who was smiling sheepishly. "...How come you get to do that, but I have to wait for the bedroom?"

Kurohane huffed and pouted.

The others, who had no idea about the inside jokes, blushed, and some looked to be quite angry.

'Who the hell is that? And what is she doing with my Naruto-kun?' Haku thought, clenching her fists.

'Just how many girls am I going to have to share him with?' Kiriko thought, taking a sideways glance at Chigusa.

'Lucky bastard.' Zabuza narrowed his eyes, secretly vowing to get an insanely hot girlfriend and show Naruto up.

In Naruto's mind Kyuubi was absolutely giddy with excitement. **'Oh yeeesss! We're going to have some wild nights, Naru-kun.'**

She put up a barrier to keep anyone from coming into her cage uninvited, but of course Naruto never had to ask permission. Kyuubi needed to...work off some _frustration_.

"So, kid, you mind introducing us to the new girl?" Zabuza said, trying to hide his jealousy, but making no move to hide his wandering eyes.

Naruto glared at Zabuza. "This is Kurohane, and she's my new Familiar." he could damn near see the question marks above their heads. "You explain it to them." he said to Kurohane, trusting her to know what to leave out.

"Alright, fine. But I want foreplay tonight." the messenger of death smiled slyly.

"Fine, whatever...Wait, what?" Naruto looked at the woman, who threw up a victory sign and winked at him. 'Well shit, she tricked me.'

Nightmare's cackling suddenly rang through Naruto's head.

_"Dude, you're finally going to get laid! Make me proud!"_

'Shut...Up.'

_"You want some tips? Don't use your claws during foreplay, most women hate that."_

'Quiet...'

_"You do know what foreplay is, right? Ah, of course you do! With a freak like Kyuubi in here, how could you not?"_

'Shut it...'

_"Use the middle finger first, feel around for a second, know what you're dealing with. Then, when she least expects it, put that second finger in there and curve up. She won't know what hit her!"_

'Now...'

_"Always take it slow, unless she tells you otherwise, then all bets are off."_

'Am I talking to myself here?'

_"Remember, the G-spot is different for every girl, and it may take a few tries to find it, but don't give up!"_

'...I'm going to hurt you...'

_"But if you can't find it, the clit works almost as well."_

'...Badly...'

_"Oh, when you find the G-spot, this is very important, don't rub it. Push it like a button. The clit stimulates better through friction, the G-spot with pressure."_

'...I will come in there...'

_"The female orgasm is NOT a myth! I've seen it with my own two eyes! You know it's happening when her eyes roll back into her head; her tongue lolls out the side of her mouth; her fingers and toes curl; and her muscles spasm. Another tip off is when she can't move for a few seconds, or minutes, depending on how good you are."_

'You have a severe death wish, don't you?'

_"Something I always wanted to do, but couldn't, was fuck on the ceiling and up the walls. But since you're a ninja, you can do that! Few things get a woman off faster than new positions and an outgoing lover!"_

'Kyuubi, can you stop him?'

**"...What? He's right." **apparently she was done with herself...

'...That does it, I'm coming in there.'

_"NOOO! Don't cum inside! Pull out, pull out! The last thing this world needs is more anti-social, psychotic closet freaks like you!"_ Nightmare started laughing at the last part.

'...As soon as I'm alone, your ass is grass.' Naruto cut the mental link between himself and the two demons.

When Naruto snapped out of his daze he saw that Kurohane was done with her explanation. The others were staring at her, wide eyed and gaping. They looked at Naruto, looking for confirmation of what they were just told.

"I wasn't really listening, but whatever she said was true." he really hoped he hadn't walked into anything.

Zabuza, Haku, Chigusa and Kiriko nodded slowly, letting these new revelations sink in.

Zabuza now knew just how outclassed he was. At the time of their second battle, Naruto could have summoned a giant raven to utterly destroy him.

Chigusa and Kiriko were in complete awe of the power their surrogate brother wielded. Oh, if they only knew...

Haku loved powerful men. It was something of a secret fetish of hers; she loved to be dominated by a strong male. That was how her bond with Zabuza originally happened. She saw that he was powerful, and decided to follow him, hoping to gain more power herself. As much as she hated to admit to hating anything, she despised weakness.

So with these new facts, Haku wanted Naruto more than ever now. She wanted to be taken by him. She wanted to be forced into submission, then have her insides pummeled for hours on end. In short: she wanted it hard and rough. She didn't want Naruto to "make love" to her, she didn't want to even be fucked. She wanted to be _ravaged_. She wanted to be sore for days, and unable to walk correctly.

Haku blushed madly at her supremely perverted thoughts of pseudo-rape and the like.

"Well, I think it's safe to say that there's some freaky shit going on here." Naruto said, the others nodded. "So let's take a break before doing into the tower and I'll give you a tour of the village."

Everyone nodded vigorously and followed Naruto out of the gates, they didn't like the Namikaze Clan Compound in any way, shape, or form.

(With Team Seven)

Kakashi and two of his students were walking along the streets of Konoha. They were looking for Naruto, who had disappeared after debriefing. This wasn't abnormal at all, as Naruto didn't like spending any more time than he had to with his team. But Kakashi had something to tell them that they all needed to hear.

'Where the hell did he get to?' Kakashi thought.

He knew it was useless to try and find him by actually searching, when Naruto didn't want to be found not even the Hokage could locate him. This worried many people, mainly those that hated Naruto with a passion. But the Sandaime saw nothing wrong with Naruto's frequent disappearances. If he wanted to, Naruto could have escaped Konoha countless times, but something kept him here. And as much as he hated to admit it, even Sarutobi didn't know what it was.

Kakashi also knew not to chase after Naruto. He had seen and participated in more than his fair share of "Fox Hunts", as they were called by most, and they were easily the most aggravating periods of time in his life. The last time he had chased Naruto was when he was still an ANBU Captain and the boy was only nine years old. But he had still given him and his entire squad absolute hell, luring them into a multitude of traps.

Most were harmless; a little paint here, a bit of itching powder there. But the more persistent the ANBU got, the deadlier the traps got. Paint turned into acid, and itching powder turned into a poisonous spore from a rare flower that only intense heat could get rid of.

Kakashi had retired from ANBU duty a short while after that last chase. He never admitted it, but Naruto was the main cause of his retirement. Kakashi never wanted to be called to go after Naruto ever again, especially if he ever went nuke-nin.

"Kakashi-sensei, why are we even looking for that freak?" Sakura asked.

Kakashi turned and smiled. "We're not looking for Naruto, we're waiting for him to find us."

"...Isn't that worse?" Sasuke asked, his bandana back on his head. No matter what he did he couldn't get the hair dye out, nor the pigtails.

Sasuke had gotten Kakashi to put a high level Genjutsu on his hair to hide the lumps in his bandana caused by the folded up pigtails, but it wouldn't work on the pink dye for some reason.

Kakashi rubbed his chin. "...Depends on your point of view."

(One Hour Later)

Kakashi scowled under his mask. He and his team had been wandering around for an hour now "waiting for Naruto to find them", but it wasn't working at all.

Sometimes they would see things that made them think Naruto was nearby. Certain areas were much darker than they normally were during the day. There were patches of grass that were dead, but with no clear reason as to why. And an odd sense of dread seemed to follow the group wherever they went.

Kakashi wrote it off as simple paranoia, but he also had his suspicions.

"You know what? Screw this. I'll just tell him when I see him." Kakashi turned to Sasuke and Sakura. "I was going to tell you that the Chūnin Exams were postponed until April of next year. But, now that I think about it, I could have waited until we had our next mission."

Kakashi's students sweatdropped. "So, you mean to tell us that we've been walking around for an hour for no reason?" Sasuke said in a "calm before the storm" tone.

Kakashi eye-smiled. "Yep, pretty much! Well, gotta go, see ya'." he waved a disappeared in a puff of smoke.

Sasuke roared in rage an stormed off towards the Uchiha District.

Sakura was about to ask her crush/obsession out again, but decided against it when she saw how angry he was. She then remembered what Naruto had told her during the beginning of their mission.

"What was his name again? Mirona...no...Miraka...nope...Mirano! That's it, Itora Mirano!" the girl took off towards the hospital.

(Training Ground Forty-Two)

Hinata smashed against a tree and coughed up some blood. She was pretty sure she had broken a couple ribs, but she had no time to count. The Hyūga heiress rolled to the side just in time to avoid being swallowed by a giant snake.

"Dammit, Anko-sensei!" Hinata shouted, dodging a tail swipe. "Why are you making me fight your summons?"

Anko sat up in a nearby tree, watching her student with no small amount of mirth.

"I don't feel like fighting you myself right now." Anko shrugged.

Hinata narrowed her eyes. "Lazy bitch!" she screamed.

Anko's eyebrow twitched. "'Lazy'? I'll have you know I'm one of the most active people in this village!" she flashed through a set of hand seals. "Just for that you get another playmate! Summoning Technique!" Anko smashed her hands on the ground and a huge plume of white smoke erupted under her.

When the smoke cleared Anko stood atop a snake identical to the first one. She laughed and pointed at her student. The snake lunged forward after the girl and Anko jumped onto another tree branch.

Hinata jumped over the snapping jaws of one snake, and right into another.

"Shit." she cursed as she was swallowed whole.

Anko abruptly stopped laughing when she saw the snake gulp and a small lump travel down its throat.

"Son of a bitch!" she screamed and Body Flickered to the snakes head. "Spit her out, NOW!"

The snake did as it was told, but when it opened its mouth the only thing that came out was a small cloud of white smoke.

The snake rose an eye ridge in confusion. **"...Sshhhe kinda...blew up in my ssstomach."** the summon said.

Anko cursed her own stupidity. "Shadow Clone." was all she said before she was knocked into the mouth of her own yawning summon.

On instinct, the snake closed its mouth and swallowed whatever was trapped within it. Its eyes widened and it immediately spit out its master.

Anko flew out of the snake's mouth covered in saliva and other slimy fluids. The stomach acid was still in the process of dissolving her trench coat and she hissed.

"Hakari...why did you eat me?" Anko asked calmly.

The snake sweatdropped. **"It wasss...an accsssident?"**

Anko sighed and clenched her fists. "The only reason you're not a wallet right now is because you were my first summon." she patted the snake on the head. "Just don't swallow next time, alright?" she smiled.

Hakari gave his own reptilian version of a smile and nodded.

Hinata, who was sitting on the head of the second summoned snake, clapped her hands together.

"Aww, that's so sweet!"

The snake she was sitting on nodded. **"Yesss, it isss...Wait a minute." **it looked up and Hinata and let out a low hiss.

Hinata looked down and smiled sheepishly. "Hiya..." she jumped off and ran into the forest, the giant snake snapping at her ass the entire way.

Anko jumped onto Hakari's head and cackled madly. "I know where she's going. Let Hanone follow her, and we'll intercept to corner Hinata."

Hakari nodded and slithered away with the insane speed the Snake Clan was known for.

Hinata was running low on chakra. She had to use it to enhance her speed throughout the "training" that her sensei had set up for her. Otherwise she would have been eaten long ago. She didn't even have enough left to use any of the few techniques she knew, and the Gentle Fist did little more than tickle the huge serpents.

Her only real hope was to make the snake following her run into a tree and knock itself out. But with the way the flexible reptile was navigating through the thick forest with ease, Hinata's hopes of a self-inflicted knockout were effectively dashed.

Hinata was currently heading towards Training Ground Forty-Seven, the place where she watched Naruto train. From the years she had been doing it she knew the place like the back of her hand.

'Let's see here...There should be a really big rock right about...here!" as Hinata turned the corner she was met with a sight that made her day all the more horrible.

There was her sensei, Anko, sitting cross-legged and grinning like the Cheshire cat atop the head of her favorite summon.

"It seems that you gave Hanone a good chase, but you're just too predictable. You think you're the only one who knows were Naru-chan trains? We spar together all the time! Add to that the fact that I know this entire forest inside and out, and you've got yourself a hopeless situation!" Anko grinned.

Hinata slowly slid into the Gentle Fist stance, causing Anko to laugh. "What's so funny?" the pale-eyed girl snarled.

"You are! Do you honestly think your little Taijutsu style will do anything to my summons? Not only does it lack the power to penetrate their scales, they don't have tenketsu, so you're attacks are useless in every way! You might even hurt your own hands trying!"

Hinata glared. "It doesn't matter, I refuse to give up. That is the only way to get stronger. I have to push myself to the brink and beyond! So come on, let's get this over with."

Anko rose an eyebrow. "So, you've taken Naru-chan's philosophy to heart. That's probably the smartest decision you'll make in your lifetime. You'll go far thinking like that. But, unfortunately, you've still lost this round. You're outnumbered, outclassed, and outsmarted, what can you possibly do against these odds?"

Hanone suddenly shrieked and fell to the ground, then disappeared in a puff of smoke.

"What the hell?" Anko growled and scanned the area, but couldn't see anything unusual.

"I do hope the dress-code for this little party is casual." a voice that both females knew all too well called out. "I seem to have misplaced my tux."

XXXX

Done.

I'll warn you now, just like in the last chapter, the next is going to be pretty late. All that X-mas shopping I did? Well, I only bought four things. EVERYTHING else was cleared out.

What makes it worse, most of the people on my list want video games, including me! And studies have shown that an estimated Seventy-Two percent of Americans over the age of twelve play video games or have played them. And all of the decent games have either been cleared out or stolen. But I did win Assassin's Creed from a contest at GameStop, thank you Game Informer!

(1): I took this outfit design from the Amanda character in SAW 3. I always thought it looked hot.

(2): I know a wolf's jaw strength wouldn't be enough to snap a half demon's bones, but these obviously aren't normal wolves.

Anyway, happy holidays people, and may you all get what you want for X-mas!

Jason Out!


	16. Gathering Darkness

I'm back!

This is going to be the last chapter for a while, possibly until January. I'm going to be doing a LOT of traveling for the holiday. I'm going on a road trip with all my friends across most of the United States to find specific things for our friends and family. So that's going to suck big time.

To all my loyal readers: I'm sorry.

And to readers of Tamer of the Hazard: I may discontinue the story. Most of the ideas I've come up with, that were any good, will make me have to change the entire storyline for them to work. So I may just delete the one on this site and start over.

Enjoy the latest chapter of Black Flames Dance In The Wind: Rise of Naruto!

XXXX

"Naruto-kun!" Hinata all but squealed.

Sure enough, the masked terror himself stepped out of the tree line, bloody sword in hand.

Anko narrowed her eyes at the boy. "What did you do to Hanone?"

Naruto flung the blood off of his blade. "I just severed her spine, nothing too serious. She'll be fine, but hold off on summoning her for a few weeks."

Hakari voiced his displeasure in a growling hiss. **"Thisss doesssn't consssern you, boy."**(1)

Naruto glared at the snake. "As your master said before; Hinata here is outnumbered and outmatched. I'm just evening the odds a little."

Anko snorted. 'To even the odds I'd have to summon Manda himself now.' well, she wouldn't have to go _that_ far, but still, Naruto's presence made things a hell of a lot more difficult. "Whatever you say, Naru-chan. Let's dance!" she leapt off of Hakari's head and straight for Naruto.

Naruto turned to Hinata. "You occupy Anko, I'll take the snake."

When Hinata opened her mouth to protest, Naruto tossed a pill into it. 'What the hell?' she thought.

Naruto saw her look of confusion and sighed. "Just eat it. That thing beats the shit out of soldier pills." then he ran off to engage Hakari.

Hinata did as her "secret" love told her and swallowed the pill. The effects were almost instantaneous. She felt all of her strength return to her; her chakra reserves were replenished; her broken ribs were healed; and the slight internal bleeding was stopped. She felt great! Better then when she had woke up earlier in the morning!

Anko, who hadn't seen her student eat the pill, thought she would go easy on her and take her down in just a few attacks. Oh, how wrong she was.

When Hinata saw her sensei approaching she smirked, but hid it well behind a facade of pain.

Just as Anko got close, Hinata sprang up and delivered a Gentle Fist strike to her shoulder, disabling her left arm.

Anko hissed and caught Hinata with a hard right hook, sending her flying away.

'Dammit! What the hell just happened?! Just a second ago she was cringing in pain!' Anko thought furiously.

Hinata stood up from where she had landed after being punched. She gingerly felt her jaw, then winced a little.

'Painful, but nothing serious. A hairline fracture maybe?' she thought, hissing in pain when she poked the area too hard.

"You alright?" Naruto said, appearing next to her.

Hinata squeaked and hopped to the side, startled by Naruto's sudden presence.

"When did-? How did you-? What happened to the snake?" Hinata finally managed to get out.

Naruto looked behind himself, prompting Hinata to do so as well. She sweatdropped when she saw Anko crying overdramatically next to the scaly, twitching mass that was Hakari.

"What did you do to him?" Hinata really hoped that Naruto hadn't killed him, Hakari was one of the few snake summons that she liked.

"I may, or may not have hit him on the head with a really big rock...and a tree..."

Hinata rose an eyebrow. "Don't you mean a tree branch?"

"Yeah, sure, let's go with that." Naruto turned away slightly.

Hinata looked back at the snake just in time to see him go "poof". When the smoke cleared she saw fragments of a large rock...and a tree that was broken in two.(2)

"...You didn't..." Naruto didn't respond. "You did, didn't you?"

"You can't prove that...I plead the fifth...leave me alone."

Hinata sighed, then suddenly broke into a giggling fit, which was stopped when she groaned in pain.

Naruto, of course, heard this. "Hinata...are you alright?"

He didn't quite know why, but he felt genuinely concerned for Hinata.

Hinata smiled, or at least she tried to. It came out as more of a grimace. "I'm fine, just a little fracture. It'll be fine once I find a medic-nin."

Naruto stared at the girl. "Hinata...you know you're a horrible liar, right?"

Hinata hung her head. "That bad, huh?" Naruto nodded. "Well, if you must know, it hurts like a bitch!" she slapped her hands over her mouth. 'Oh no! Now Naruto-kun's going to think I'm some kind of foul-mouthed hussy!'

Naruto tilted his head to the side a little, then chuckled. "It's about time you let it out."

Hinata just stared at Naruto. 'He's fine with it?' she obviously didn't know just how much Naruto cursed. "What?"

Naruto shook his head. "I can tell what you're thinking just by looking at your facial expressions. And I've watched you enough to know that you have a lot that you want to say, but you hold it in. For the longest time I couldn't figure out why, but now I know that it was because you worry too much about what others think and expect of you."

Hinata turned away to conceal her blush. 'Naruto-kun said he watches me! Oh, if you only knew what I was holding in...'

While Hinata had her back turned Naruto made some quick seals and his hand glowed green. He turned Hinata around and placed his glowing hand on her jaw.

Hinata was about to question the masked boy, but when she felt a sudden warmth flood into her body, she closed her eyes leaned into his hand. She felt her pain melt away and her bones mend under Naruto's healing touch.

Naruto was slightly startled when Hinata leaned into his hand and began making weird noises.

'Is she...purring?' Naruto's head slowly tilted to the right.

_"I believe you've just gotten yourself a 'Sex Kitten'."_ Nightmare called.

Naruto narrowed his eyes. 'Keep talking, you're just digging the grave deeper.'

Kyuubi grinned evilly as she thought of something to thoroughly embarrass Naruto for helping Nightmare get her special armor off.

**"Oh Naru-chaaaan!" **Kyuubi chirped.

Naruto inwardly groaned. Kyuubi only called him that when she had something positively evil planned for him.

'What?'

**"I still have two favors to cash in, and I'm about to use one of them. During your date with Hinata-chan, if see asks you to, you have to take your mask off!"**

Naruto's eye twitched. 'You're obsessed with my mask, aren't you?'

**"Yeah, kinda. Fine, but you will give her **_**what she wants**_** at the end of the date."**

'How would I know what that is?'

Kyuubi smacked her forehead. **'I swear if I didn't love him...' "Figure it out later, genius!"**

Naruto mentally shrugged and returned to reality, making another vow to cause a certain demon a lot of pain. He stopped his Miracle Hand and tried to pull away, but found that Hinata was holding onto his hand and rubbing her cheek against it.

"..." Naruto couldn't think of anything to say, not even a sarcastic comment would come to him.

Hinata snapped out of her daze at the sound of someone snickering behind her. She squeaked and let go of Naruto's hand, then turned around slowly, silently praying that it wasn't who she knew it was.

But her prayers went unanswered and there was Anko, sitting on a newly formed tree stump with her hands clasped over her mouth. She had tears running down the sides of her face and she was trembling violently.

Hinata fainted and Naruto sighed. "Go ahead...You know you want to."

Anko erupted into laughter, clutching her sides and rolling on the ground. She tried to speak, but it just came out as broken words and other incoherent sounds.

Naruto just shook his head and looked down at Hinata. He almost smiled. 'She looks so peaceful. That little smile, the faint blush on her cheeks the...small trail of blood coming from her nose...Okay, time to wake her up.' he poked Hinata with his foot. "Hey, wake up."

Hinata just rolled over and whimpered. "Naughty Naruto-kun...Do you want...the whip again?" the sleeping girl mumbled, blissfully unaware of her dreams being revealed.

Naruto sweatdropped heavily. He wanted to wake Hinata up, but he was almost scared of what she would say if she was disturbed again.

'...Screw it.' Naruto poked the girl again.

"Mmm...I thought this...was your first time...You're so good...at that...Naruto-kun..."

Naruto's sweatdrop increased in size. '...It's always the quiet ones.'

He then became aware of the fact that Anko was no longer laughing. He slowly turned his head in her direction, then wished he hadn't.

Anko sat on the ground, staring wide-eyed at her sleeping student. Even she couldn't believe the eternally timid Hyūga heiress dreamt of "Naughty Naruto-kun" and whips.

Anko sighed and slowly got to her feet, then looked directly at Naruto. "Well, I believe that" she pointed at Hinata, who had somehow latched onto Naruto's leg, "makes up for what you did to my summons. I'll see you later...'Naughty Naruto-kun'!" she disappeared in a puff of smoke, but her laughter still echoed through the clearing.

Naruto growled. "Damn, this is going to send my reputation to the ground." he looked at Hinata, and sweatdropped when he found her rubbing her cheek against his leg. "Why does she act so much like a cat?"

**"Beats me. Maybe she comes from a long line of Nekomata?" **Kyuubi ventured.

Naruto shook his head and knelt down to Hinata's level. "Hinata...wake up." the girl just curled up to his leg. "...Don't make me do this to you." he warned, hoping that he wouldn't have to resort to his time-tested wake-up call for females.

"Ohh, Naruto-kun...you're so big..."

Naruto smacked his masked face and sighed. "Fine, you leave me no choice." he put his face next to Hinata's ear. "Come on, Hinata-chan, wake up. I haven't even gotten out the whipped cream yet." he reeled back just before Hinata's head shot up.

"Whipped cream?!" the Hyūga shouted.

Naruto snickered and shook his head. "Maybe after our date."

Hinata looked at Naruto like he had grown another head. "Wha?" was her intelligent reply.

"Remember when I asked you if you wanted to go out sometime? Well, when you fainted, I took the smile that was on your face as a yes."

Hinata's eyes lit up and she squealed. "Yes, Naruto-kun! I'd love to!" she trapped the boy in a bone-crushing hug.

"..." Naruto hadn't expected this at all.

Hinata finally realized exactly what she was doing, and who she was doing it to. She looked up at Naruto, then fainted, a smile and a blush gracing her features as she fell.

Naruto caught Hinata before she hit the ground and picked her up bridal style. "Let's get you home." he sank into his shadow and disappeared.

(In Otogakure no Sato)

Orochimaru stared at several different monitors with a look of infinite boredom. He was watched the hidden cameras in the holding cells of his latest experiments. So far, the most exciting thing he'd seen was when one of the experiments spontaneously combusted.

"Will one of you worthless failures do something?!" he hissed at the screens.

The door opened behind him, but he didn't bother to look at the intruder.

"I assume you have a reason for disturbing me, underling?" he growled.

_**"Watch how you talk to your superiors, human."**_ a deep, monotonous voice said from the doorway.

Orochimaru's eyes widened and he hopped out of his chair and kneeled on the floor.

"Forgive me, Shizaru-sama! I didn't know it was you, I swear!" he pleaded, untold amounts of fear lacing his words.

Shizaru snorted. _**"Stop your sniveling this instant. Maintain whatever dignity you have left."**_

Orochimaru rose to his feet. "Of course, Shizaru-sama. So, what brings you here? I haven't seen you in years."

Shizaru looked at the screens and scoffed. _**"Still trying to make that 'Perfect Host' for yourself, I see."**_

"Yes, well, I am but a human, so true immortality is beyond my reach...for now. But, with the progress I've made, even you should be, at least, mildly impressed."

Shizaru rubbed his chin under his hood. _**"Yes, this is indeed impressive. Your greed, and willingness to sacrifice anyone and anything to get what you want is astounding. The things that you've done, not even the most vile of demons would think of. Especially to children."**_

Orochimaru rose an eyebrow. "But sir, all of the children I have experimented on were already shinobi."

Shizaru turned to the snake man and glared at him, causing him to shiver in fear. _**"Don't you dare lie to me like that. I can see a five year old in there." **_the demon turned back to the screen. _**"Look at him; he has four legs! If you wanted a Centaurian, I could have gotten one for you. In over five-thousand years of existence, I've seen and done some very despicable things. But this...disgusts even me."**_

Orochimaru shrugged. "One does what one can."

Shizaru snorted. _**"I'm sure."**_

"So, why are you here?"

_**"I need to...borrow you for a day or two."**_

Orochimaru backed up. "Oh no! The last time you said that, I woke up with my home village in flames and an enraged demon after me!"

_**"Oh, don't be such a drama queen. That business with Kyuubi was over twelve years ago. And she never caught you, so be thankful."**_

"The fact that I have one of the strongest demons in existence out for my head is something to be thankful for?! Besides, you might damage my body, this is the only one I'll have for another three years!"

Shizaru rolled his eyes. _**"Quit your bitching and get over here. The quicker we get this done, the better."**_

"What's in it for me? Besides more enemies, I mean."

_**"Alright, fine. What do you want?" **_

"Simple: I want the Sharingan. With it, I can learn every technique there is! But..."

_**"But you'd need multiple lifetimes to accomplish that." **_Shizaru finished.

"Precisely. So what I want is really two things. One: I want Uchiha Sasuke, alive. Two: I want to make him my permanent vessel, but I want his body to be immortal."

_**"So, you want a body that won't deteriorate over time, right?"**_

"Yes! I've found a way to make my mind and soul immortal, but not my body. Since I can't find true immortality by human means, I'll need the help of a demon. And you're the only one I know."

_**"That's mainly because not many other demons would want to be around you, unless it was for the sake of killing you."**_

"And you don't want to kill me?"

_**"...There's a line between 'want' and 'need', but it can be a very fine line. Let's just leave it at that."**_

"...Okay..."

_**"I'll help you gain immortality, and I'll get you this 'Sharingan'. But in return I want your unquestioning cooperation. That means that if I come here again, I don't want to hear any complaints. Got it?"**_

"Of course, Shizaru-sama." Orochimaru bowed. "I'm ready." he braced himself for the intense pain that was about to follow.

_**"Good. Now hold still...And try not to scream, it hurts my ears."**_ with that Shizaru plunged his hands into the vile human's chest.

Tendrils of Darkness spider-webbed from the demon's hands and spread out over Orochimaru's body, corrupting and controlling it.

The snake man bit his lip until it bleed, trying to keep from crying out. This was, by far, the second most painful moment of his life, second only to the first time it happened.

Shizaru smirked under his hood and he was slowly absorbed into Orochimaru's body. When he completely disappeared the man's eyes snapped open. The normal slitted amber/green was slowly taken over as more tendrils crawled over Orochimaru's eyes. When the tendrils completely covered the eyes in a black veil Orochimaru let out a howl of agony before bowing his head and chuckling in a sinister dual voice.

_**"Now then, time to sew more seeds of chaos."**_ Orochimaru/Shizaru melted into the shadows of the room and disappeared.

(Unknown Location)

A young teen boy, looking to be around sixteen, walked down a wide corridor that was well lit with torches every ten feet. He had bright orange hair with sporadic yellow highlights, dark amber eyes, and a crescent-shaped scar on his left cheek. His face was contorted in a seemingly permanent scowl and he continuously muttered obscenities to himself. Small embers danced around his feet as he walked, scorching the ground and leaving charred footprints in his wake.

Inferno was pissed. No, scratch that; he had passed pissed two hours ago. Now, he was absolutely livid!

_'That little bastard! Just had to destroy my demon body, didn't he? Now I'm stuck in this sorry flesh-bag of a human, and with not even a fourth of my power!' _Inferno raged inside of his new host body.

After Shizaru destroyed his original body, he had to take the body of a human to stay out of Hell. He choose one of his most powerful followers: a boy named Sanhodo Yakedo. The main reason for this was the boy had a natural alignment with Fire, something that Inferno needed if he wanted to have any real power.

The teen, of course, saw this as the highest honor he could receive. He had been chosen by "Inferno-sama" to be the latest vessel! He didn't care about the fact that he had to die for Inferno's soul to inhabit his body, that was just another "honor" bestowed upon him by his generous master.

Inferno now paraded around in a human shell. The only indication of such was Sanhodo's sudden change in attitude, voice, and the "I" that was branded onto his forehead; a mark carried by all of Inferno's previous human hosts.

_"Where the hell is that bitch Tira?"_ Inferno said out loud.

"Who the hell are you calling a bitch, cocksucker?!" a high-pitched, slightly accented voice said from behind him.

Inferno turned to glared at the owner of the voice.(3)

_"What was that, _bitch_?" _he hissed.

Tira was about to respond, but she then saw the letter branded onto Sanhodo's forehead and figured out what she had done.

Tira instantly kneeled before her master. "Forgive me, Inferno-sama! I didn't know you had taken a new host!" she was almost crying.

Inferno narrowed his eyes. _"Any particular reason why?"_

"I was sent out on a mission by Nishirei two weeks ago, I just got back! Mission was a success, by the way." Tira's attitude turned from fearful to cheerful in seconds, then back again, showing her bipolarity.

Inferno snorted. _"Whatever, just don't let it happen again. Am I clear?"_

Tira smiled a saluted. "Crystal clear, sir!"

Inferno rose an eyebrow. _'Hm, forgot this bitch is crazy.' "Good. Now for the reason I was looking for you in the first place. I need to take two of my most powerful and trusted subordinates with me to masquerade as shinobi for a tournament. It's called the '__Chūnin__ Examinations' and it's to be held in the village of Konohagakure no Sato in Fire Country."_

"Inferno-sama, if I may be so bold, why are we going?"

_"I need humans to go with me because these shinobi are very sensitive to demonic chakra. And the last thing I need is to end up fighting them while stuck in a brittle human shell with less than a quarter of my power. Given I could take on an entire army of them if I went all out, but then I wouldn't have a body anymore. So I need you to tell Juujikei that he is to accompany us. Also, tell him to cut it with the 'prayer time', it's starting to piss the Big Boss off."_

Tira saluted again. "Right away, Inferno-sama!" she then ran off down the other end of the corridor, giggling insanely and spinning her ring-blade around her right arm.

Inferno shook his head. _'Like a child running with scissors...But if she falls, it's the people around her that are gonna get hurt.'_

(Cavern Of Corruption)

Arcarian's prison stone glowed bright red and shuddered with the immense amounts of power the fallen God was emitting. The celestial runes that covered the stone glowed an even brighter white, desperately trying to hold the God in.

_**'Come on...Just a bit more and I'll finally be free!'**_ the Dark God thought, pumping more of his power into the runes, trying to overload them.

Just at the runes were about to break, the chains glowed dark purple and more runes appeared on them. But these weren't celestial, these were arcane symbols used for exorcising demons and sealing them in ancient times.

_**"WHAT?! When did they put these on?!"**_ Arcarian raged as he felt his power leave him.

**"Oh come now, you didn't honestly think we were going to let you escape that easily, did you?"** a deep, rumbling, and slightly sinister voice called from the entrance to the chamber.

_**"Ah, brother Death, what a **_**pleasant**_** surprise...To what do I owe this latest torment?"**_ Arcarian addressed his brother, and fellow God, the Shinigami.

The Death God glared at the stone that held what was possibly the strongest of the Gods.

**"You know why I'm here, **_**brother**_**. We won't allow you to escape and ruin our plans. Your lackeys are enough of a headache without having to deal with you as well."**

Arcarian laughed. _**"As if you could 'deal' with me! I was one of the four original Gods, just like you, but there is a vast difference in our power. Or did you forget that, Little Brother?"**_

The Shinigami almost winced at that last comment. **"We are the same age."**

_**"That may be, but I call you little because you are so much weaker than I. Of the four originals, I was always the strongest, always superior to you all. But when I tried to make you see that, you had your little hissy fit and locked me away."**_

**"You tried to destroy the planet! How was that 'showing us our place', as you put it back then?"**

_**"I wanted to show you my power by destroying so easily what you all worked so hard to create. I wanted to show you that there is nothing you can do that I can't do better. Nothing that you can make that I can't destroy. And I will show you all, once again, when I prove that there is no prison you can put me in that I can't escape from!"**_

**"...It won't change anything."**

_**"If that is indeed the case, then why are you and the others so intent on stopping me?"**_

**"..."**

Arcarian chuckled. _**"I thought so. Now, begone, fool. You're becoming more of an annoyance by the second."**_

**"You know what? Why don't you make me leave."**

_**"As you wish, brother."**_

The Shinigami narrowed his eyes and looked over his shoulder. In the light coming from torch-lit entrance to the chamber he could see the silhouettes of seven people. He could tell two were women, four were men, and one seemed to be a child.

"Why are you harassing our master?" the child said in a tone that showed incredible boredom.

_"Yes, what are you doing here, Shinigami?"_ a tall, lanky, and slightly hunched figure asked in a low, heavily accented rasp.

"You have no power here." the taller of the two women said.

"Seeing as how death has no meaning to any of us." the other woman added.

"I suppose he's just being an asshole, right brother?" one of the men, who was wearing a wide-brimmed hat, looked at another man next to him.

"Yes, he is." the other man, who was wearing an identical hat, confirmed.

"The Master wishes for him to be removed. Can I eat him?" the last figure, which was taller than the rest, asked.

_**"I don't know, Gluttony, can you?"**_ Arcarian chuckled.

The Shinigami growled. **"So, they are The Seven, eh?...Not much to look at, especially the troll and the brat."**

The child just shrugged and picked his ear.

The lanky figure, however, was a bit more...enthusiastic in his response.

_"Watch it, Death God, you have no power here, and you're on our turf now. And it's 'Greed' and 'Sloth' to you."_

The Shinigami just gave a derisive snort and turned back to Arcarian's prison, not intimidated in the least.

**"They"** he jerked a thumb over his shoulder, **"are the best you have?"**

Arcarian laughed. _**"As ignorant as you are, even you know better than that. You will know when you see my best; it will be in the same moment that you know you have lost."**_

**"Assuming they don't turn their backs on you as before."**

Arcarian snarled. _**"That was low, even for you."**_

**"I don't want to hear about 'low', coming from you."** the Shinigami turned to the seven figures at the entrance. **"It's nice to see that the Seven Deadly Sins are whole again. You've finally found a new Envy, I see. That's good, it only took you, what? Three, four thousand years?"** he chuckled when the Sins visibly bristled at the comment, even Sloth tensed a bit.

"You have no right to talk about Envy that way." the shorter woman hissed.

**"Do I need you remind you of who the God is here? I can and will do whatever I want."**

"Very well." the taller woman said. "By the way, how is Chastity doing? Oh! That's right, how could I not remember? She is still being violated by every Devil in Hell. Hm, I wonder if they've gotten bored with the same three holes...Perhaps they've made some _new_ ones to have fun with?"

The Shinigami narrowed his eyes. **"What you did to her was completely uncalled for! She told you everything she knew, but you vile creatures still threw her into The Pit."**

"Oh? I seem to have hit a sore spot. She trespassed on our territory, the borders to which were clearly marked and guarded. She came here seeking to defeat me, but she was too weak. She should have known the price she would pay for such a thing. Just because she was one of the Seven Virtues doesn't mean she gets any special treatment. Especially not from us."

"That's right, anyone caught trespassing on our turf gets the same treatment, including The Pit." one of the men wearing the hats said.

"That is correct. Everyone is thrown into The Pit." the other man said, his voice also identical to the first man's.

"Besides, your Virtues abducted my sister and destroyed her. Chastity deserved what she got, and they will all get the same." the shorter woman seethed.

"Easy, Envy, their time will come." the taller woman said.

**"I'll take my leave now. Before I am contaminated by your filth. And as for you, dear brother, just know this: The forces working against you are greater than those working for you."** and with that, the God of Death disappeared.

Arcarian only snorted in response. _**"Since the seven of you are here, I assume you got Shizaru's message?"**_

"Yes, Master, Shizaru-sama has told us of your plans for the young Halfling." Lust kneeled before the rock, as did the rest of the sins.

"But we are confused as to what our roles are." Gluttony said.

_"Master, what do you want us to do? Inferno-sama, even in his weakened state, should be more than enough for the boy."_ Greed asked in his heavily accented and raspy voice.

_**"Think of yourselves as an insurance policy of sorts..."**_

(Kuro no Kuni)

Dark Country, often called "The Land of Eternal Darkness". It was said that long ago a powerful demon placed a curse on the land. This curse prevented any form of natural light from shining down on the country. None of the current inhabitants had ever even seen the sun, moon, or stars.

It was also completely isolated. So much so, that only the most worldly of shinobi knew where it was, or that it even existed. But, even though they knew, none dared to venture to the Land of Darkness. There were many legends about Kuro no Kuni. Stories of creatures called "Vampires" originated there. Demons that could exist only in darkness that fed on the blood of man and beast alike and turned them into bloodsuckers as well.

In reality they weren't demons, they were creatures from the Shadow Realm. You see, the curse that was placed upon the land was, in fact, a massive portal. If someone were to walk through it, from either side, they were instantly transported to the Shadow Realm. And torn apart by its denizens just as fast. This was the reason nothing got in or out of Kuro no Kuni.

And it was also the reason the entire country's population was going to die.

"When will this curse lift?" a man in his early forties mumbled as he looked out over the town.

His name was Suto Goshingi, a shinobi originally hailing from Amegakure no Sato. He became a missing-nin when his family was killed by the same psychopath that had taken over the village.

Suto was a tall man, about six foot three, and had the body that reflected his training. He had dark brown, almost black, hair and light brown eyes. He wore normal shinobi attire: a black lightly armored vest, mesh undershirt made of a durable steel/cotton hybrid fiber, rust colored forearm vambraces, black fingerless gloves, and black, semi-loose fitting pants tucked into black shinobi sandals. Over it all was a brown trenchcoat with the sleeves cut off and an abnormally high collar with a short hood. It was made so that when fully zipped it would cover his head and most of his face, leaving only his eyes visible.

While on the run from hunter-nin, Suto came across the Land of Darkness, though he didn't know it until the monsters started to attack him. But he wasn't an ANBU for nothing! He fought his way through the Shadow Realm, eventually killing a large dragon-type creature and opening an exit portal.

As soon as he stepped through it he had passed out. When he woke up he was surrounded by people, all looking at him in awe and admiration.

When Suto asked where he was and how he had gotten there, they said that he had fallen from darkness above. Apparently the people saw him as some sort of savior; the hero that was going to lift the curse and bring back the light.

Suto just went with it because the people gave him whatever he desired. But after a few years he began to genuinely care about the people. When he walked through the town kids would flock to him and ask him if he was as powerful as their parents had told them he was.

Sure he had killed more than a few "vampires", but that was no reason to be called a legendary hero, was it?

Suto began to actively search for a solution to the curse for reasons other than his own escape. He no longer wanted to leave. He had a family here, friends, authority, power, respect, and admiration. Things that he either didn't have or were taken from him in Amegakure.

"These people need to see the sun and the stars, if only to know that something exists outside of their world. But how do I lift this curse? What can I do? I don't have the power to do anything." Suto slouched into his chair and wept.

_"I can give you that power..." _a ghostly rasp floated into Suto's ears.

The man jumped from his seat and unsheathed his ANBU katana. "Who's there? Show yourself!" but all Suto saw was a fine green mist rolling in from under the door to his office.

_"Who and what I am is none of your concern at the moment. Just know that I am here to help you in your cause."_

"Why would you want to help me? And how do I know you're not just one of those bloodsucking bastards?"

_"If I wanted you dead, I would have killed you long ago. As I said; I want to help. You care for the people of the country, right?"_ Suto nodded. _"You want your children to see the light of the sun and feel its warmth, correct?" _Suto nodded and let his sword drop a little. _"And you want to stop those filthy parasites from killing the ones you care for, right?" _

Suto's sword fell to the floor with a clang. "Yes...I want to...protect them all...I want...them to walk...in the light...at least once in their lives." he fell to his knees and sobbed.

_"I can give you the power to lift the curse. The power to protect your loved ones. The power to drive out those disgusting creatures. Will you accept my offer?"_

"What do you want in return? I know you aren't doing this out of charity."

_"No, I'm not. All I want is your body."_

Suto grabbed his sword and stood upright. "Forget it!"

_"You didn't let me finish. I need a host in order to stay alive. You will gain my power and everything else, all I ask is for you to be my new vessel."_

Suto sighed sadly. "Very well...I accept your offer. What do I have to do?"

_"Simple: just close your eyes, open you mouth and...try to keep your screams down!" _the green mist suddenly shot from the floor and entered Suto's body through his mouth.

Suto choked and gagged, then fell to the floor clutching his throat. He could feel his life slowly leaving him as he was denied precious oxygen. Just as everything was starting to go black, the mist completely entered him and he could breath again.

Suto rolled onto his hands and knees and coughed violently. Once his fit was over he shakily stood up.

"Wha...what happened?"

_"You fool, you just handed your body over to me!" _a sinister cackle echoed through the man's mind.

"What?! What the hell are you?!"

_"Now? I am you. I've taken over your body, but it seems your mind is a bit too strong as of yet. But that will change in time. I'm going to slowly take control of your mind as well, then I will devour your soul!"_

Suto screamed as intense pain wracked his body. He could feel something forcibly severing all connections between his brain and body. All electrical signals stopped and he fell to the ground, paralyzed.

'What's going on?!' Suto thought, as he now couldn't talk.

His body suddenly jerked to life of its own volition and began to laugh evilly.

_"I'm in control now, human."_

'Then why am I still able to think for myself?'

_"If you go on a roller coaster, just because you can think about it doesn't mean you can control it. You're just along for the ride until I can get rid of you!"_(4)

'Damn you! You tricked me!'

_"No I didn't. I said you would gain all of my power, but I never said anything about you retaining control. It was you who didn't ask the right questions."_

'Would you have answered honestly if I had asked?'

_"Of course not! Bye now, I have a country to infect!"_

'You son of a bitch! If you hurt my family, so help me-!' Suto's communication with the creature that had taken his body was cutoff.

Suto's possessed body stood up rigidly and shambled over to the window of his office.

_"This body's going to take some getting used to, but it doesn't matter now." _the creature looked out over the town, sneering at the humans carrying on in their dimly lit city without a care in the world...besides the eternal lack of natural light. _"I'll have to wait to regain my powers before I can begin, but it won't be too long now."_

Just then a secretary opened the door and peeked in.

"Goshingi-sama? Is something wrong? I thought I heard screams."

The creature used Suto's vocal cords to speak without blowing his cover.

"Nothing's wrong...Sumei-chan...I just...made a breakthrough in my research." the creature took whatever he could from Suto's memories to make up a convincing lie.

The woman, Sumei, smiled and clasped her hands together. "Really?! That means you may be able to lift the curse?"

"Suto" nodded. "Indeed, Sumei-chan. The day is almost at hand...All of the filth will soon be swept away."

Sumei furrowed her brow. "What do you mean, Goshingi-sama?"

"...I mean those damned vampires. Yes, they will be swept away by the light of the sun with I lift the curse on this land."

Sumei smiled and nodded. "So, there are no problems then?"

"Suto" shook his head. "No, nothing's wrong here. In fact, things haven't been better in a long time."

Sumei bowed and left, a hopeful smile on her face.

As soon as the door closed "Suto" sneered in disgust.

_"Damn, that was close. Nosey humans, need to learn how to mind their own business." _he turned back to the window. _"Soon I will amass an army of Shadow Realm monsters. And then...Then I will hunt you down and destroy you and everything you hold dear...Soon, Halfling...very soon."_

"Suto" reached over to the lamp by his head and turned it off, shrouding the office in darkness. The man's skin turned deathly pale and semi-transparent, revealing a demonic skull with teeth, filed to sharp points, arranged in a demented eternal grin. It stepped back into the shadows, eyes glowing green, and chuckling like the devil himself.

The Dreadwraith had returned.

(With Zabuza, Haku, and the Others)

Zabuza, Haku, Kurohane, Chigusa, Kiriko, and Seizonsha were currently following a clone of Naruto. The original said he had something to do and ran off, leaving a clone to finish the tour he had been giving him.

The group noticed that, even though Naruto hadn't even so much as glanced at them, the villagers went out of their way to glare at him. Stores closed and locked their doors; merchant carts were packed up and moved a short distance away; some ninja would try to trip Naruto and make him fall, only to be grabbed by his cloak and smashed into something.

But through it all Naruto didn't even break stride, so the group figured this was an everyday occurrence. But, for the life of them, they couldn't figure out why.

They assumed that the people were afraid of Naruto in some way, but who wouldn't be? But this wasn't the fear of some mass murderer or psychopath. This was fear mixed with outright hatred. Most likely, they had no idea of the boy's abilities, and thus didn't fear him for his skill. If they did, they'd never show such blatant disrespect towards Naruto.

If it was that kind of fear, children would run at the sight of him. People would freeze right where they were and the streets would be cleared in an instant. Instead, children attempted to throw rocks at Naruto. People stopped what they were doing only to glare and sneer at the boy. And people seemed to go out of their way to "bump" into him, then demand an apology or say that they had been attacked.

Zabuza narrowed his eyes in thought, he had seen this before. 'The same thing happened to Haku whenever we ran into someone from Kirigakure. But the kid doesn't seem to have a bloodline. Where else have I seen something like this?...Kumo...that little girl with the blonde hair and cat eyes...Her treatment was almost identical to Naruto's. Fear mixed with hatred...They knew they were pushing the envelope, but they didn't care because she couldn't retaliate.' Zabuza's eyes widened as he came to his conclusion. 'Jinchuuriki.'

The girls weren't paying much attention to the glares. They were too focused on the fact that Kurohane was being ogled much more than they were. She wasn't too much better than them in the looks department. And Chigusa had almost the same figure.

'It has to be the leather.' Haku, Chigusa, and Kiriko thought.

Kurohane sighed as she caught another man get a nose bleed. '...It has to be the leather.'

While walking the ground met up with some of Naruto's old classmates, dubbed "Rookie Nine" by most.

"Hello, Freak, who's the hottie?" Kiba drooled, earning himself a smack on the head from his sensei, Kurenai.

Kurohane snorted, then laughed. "None of your business, Mutt."

Shino looked at the odd clique with obvious suspicion and apprehension, but didn't say a word.

Kurenai narrowed her eyes at Zabuza, who just winked at her, earning a blush from the woman and a growl from the man standing beside her.

Asuma scowled at the swordsman. "So, the rumors about you being in Konoha were true...Momochi Zabuza."

Zabuza smirked under his wrappings. "So, my reputation precedes me, I see. Yeah, I'm here with the masked psycho." he pointed at Naruto's Darkness Clone.

"Zabuza-san, I may be a clone, but I know what the Boss would say in a situation like this. Go fuck a cow, No Brow."

Zabuza bristled at the comment and his eye twitched.

Kurohane laughed openly at Zabuza's misfortune, ignoring his glare.

The twins giggled incessantly, tears coming to their eyes.

Haku tried not to laugh, she really did, but it was no use. She leaned against a nearby building and cackled like a madwoman.

The Naruto clone looked at Kiba. "I'll bet it hurts..."

"What hurts?"

"When Akamaru doesn't watch his teeth when he sucks you off at night." 'Thanks Boss.' the clone thought to the real Naruto.

'No problem.' Naruto thought back.

The men visibly shuddered at both the insinuation and the thought of a toothy blowjob.

Kiba roared and lunged at the clone, who side-stepped and kicked him into a wall.

"I may be a clone, but I'm still miles ahead of you, Kibble Breath." Kiba just groaned in pain from his new position: imprinted into a wall.

The Genin teams and their sensei's eyebrows shot up. They had all heard of Naruto's power from Kakashi, and two of them had watched his terrifying Genjutsu. But if the boy's clones were that strong, Naruto himself had to be an absolute monster!

Shino sighed and plucked his loudmouthed teammate from the wall. Akamaru, who had been wise enough to jump out of Kiba's coat when he attacked, ran to his master's side.

Shikamaru didn't even spare a glance at his fallen classmate, opting to mutter his signature "troublesome" instead.

Ino just gulped and felt sorry for her pink-haired rival. 'I'm sure Sasuke-kun keeps him in line.' the highly delusional girl comforted herself with that thought.

Naruto's clone felt the sudden urge to either glare or laugh at the girl with the platinum-blonde hair.

"So, is there something you people want? I still have a job to do and you're wasting my time." the clone said.

Kurenai huffed a bit. 'What a rude clone.' "We're looking for Hinata. We just got a mission and we need her."

The clone just shrugged. "And I would know where she is, why? Wait a minute..." the clone then zoned out and stared off down the street.

"...Um..." Chouji couldn't think of anything to say about the clone's weird behavior, so he just munched on his chips.

"...Sorry about that." the clone shook its head. "The Boss should be bringing her around any second now."

The clone's statement was then proven true when a bubble of darkness started to form in the shadow of a nearby tree. The bubble rose to human height, then melted back into the ground, revealing Naruto with Hinata in his arms.

"I believe you need her for a mission?" Naruto handed Hinata off to Shino, who had no choice but to take her.

"Sorry, Boss, I couldn't complete the mission. There were some..._minor_ distractions." the clone looked directly at the two assembled teams.

Naruto nodded. "Understandable. You're dismissed."

The clone bowed and dissolved.

"So," Zabuza started, "the chick told us why her team was here, but why is the gorilla here?" he jerked a thumb at Asuma.

"Alright, that does it!" Asuma was about to pull out his trench knives, but he was stopped by Kurenai.

"Asuma, stop!" she then whispered so that only he could hear her. "I'm going to go out on a limb here and say we're outnumbered and outmatched by this group. Think about your team, do you want to drag them into this?"

Asuma sighed and put his blades away, but not before sending one more glare at Zabuza.

"Why _are_ you here?" Naruto questioned, looking at Asuma.

"We also got a new mission. We're headed to house we have to paint for this troublesome old lady." Shikamaru said.

Ino smacked him in the back of his head. "Don't be rude, Shikamaru!" she scolded.

Naruto just cracked his neck loudly. "Yeah, whatever, listen, I just got back from an A-class mission, and I'm bored as hell now. So, if you don't mind, carry on with your missions. Your presence is starting to annoy me, especially the loud ones." he looked pointedly at Ino and an unconscious Kiba.

Kurenai's eye twitched. 'He's as rude as his clone! What does Hinata see in him?'

Asuma directed a half-hearted glared at Naruto, but didn't say a word and walked past him with his team.

Kurenai and Shino, who was carrying both Hinata and Kiba, took a turn down a street to the left and Naruto was alone with his group.

"Well then, now that the peons are gone, let's get down to business, shall we? From what I got from my clone, you've seen everything but the Northern district, correct?"

The group nodded.

"Is there anything interesting up north?" Zabuza asked. "'Cause if there ain't, let's just go back and check out that tower."

Naruto thought for a moment. "Let's see...a couple of restaurants, clothing stores, markets...nothing of any real importance for now." 'Besides, I'm banned from everything up there anyway.' Naruto thought.

"Great, so let's go back. I have a bone to pick with those ghost maids." Zabuza narrowed his eyes.

Naruto slowly cocked his head to the side. "'Ghost Maids'?"

"Don't ask." Haku and the sisters said.

Naruto nodded in understanding. "Okay...let's just head back." he was about to start walking, then stopped and smacked his forehead. "Crap, how could I forget about that?"

"Forget about what?" Haku asked.

Naruto turned to the group and they all shuddered. They could literally feel the evil grin behind that mask.

"You're going to feel some..._minor_ discomfort." his cloak suddenly expanded and encompassed them all, this sank into the shadow it had created.

The entire group, except for Kurohane and Seizonsha, got a sick feeling in the pits of their stomachs from the uncomfortable rising and falling sensation generated by shadow transport.

When Naruto's cloak let them go they found themselves inside the gates to the Namikaze Compound.

"I forgot about my Shadow Walk." Naruto said casually.

The humans of the group stumbled a bit and shook their heads, trying to rid themselves of the dizziness they were felling.

"What the fuck was that?!" Zabuza blinked rapidly and waited for the ground to stop spinning.

"Don't worry about it, that happens to all first timers." Naruto shrugged.

"What about Kurohane and Seizonsha?" Haku asked.

"I've been to the Shadow Realm hundreds of times." Kurohane answered.

"That was fun! Can we do it again?" Seizonsha yipped.

Naruto chuckled. "Later, but now we have a job to do." he looked at the looming tower.

When the effects of the Shadow Walk wore off everyone else looked at the tower.

"Hey Kiriko, you know that feeling I get when something really bad is going to happen?"

Kiriko looked at her sister. "You're getting it right now?"

"Yeah, and worse than ever. It feels like someone put a tuning fork to my spine."

"I wonder if ghosts can feel pain..." Zabuza cackled.

"Do we really have to go in there?" Haku asked, shuffling behind Naruto to hide.

"Come on, it's not all that bad." Kurohane said.

"Whatever you say. But when you get attacked by more wolves, I'm gonna laugh at you." Seizonsha jeered from her perch on Naruto's shoulder.

"Let's just get this over with." Naruto walked forward, followed by the others.

Then he got to the door he scanned it for traps and seals, but found none. He grabbed the doorknob and twisted, expecting it to be locked. But it wasn't. In fact, it seemed to open almost of its own will. Naruto didn't apply that much force to the door, yet it swung open like he had just kicked it.

Once they were all inside, the door slammed shut and the sunlight streaming in through the windows was abruptly cut off. To the others it seemed like someone had put blinds over the windows, but Naruto and Kurohane could tell that it was really a shield of dark energy surrounding them.

_"So, you've made it through our traps, have you?" _a disembodied voice rasped.

"A shitload of wolves is a really crappy trap." Kurohane said.

_"Silence, fool! Do not antagonize me further, if you know what's good for you."_

"So, who, or what, the hell are you?" Naruto asked, looking around cautiously for any more traps.

_"What a rude little boy. It's impolite to demand someone else's name without first giving your own."_

"Fine. My name is Namikaze Naruto, who the fuck are you?" Naruto tapped his foot, getting impatient with the voice.

_"What...the last Namikaze died over twelve years ago! Don't you dare claim to be related to him!" _the voice seemed pissed, but Naruto could sense an undertone of sadness and...hope?

"If the man you're referring to is Namikaze Minato, the Yondaime Hokage, then yes, he was my..._father_." Naruto spat out the last word with such disgust you'd think he was talking about the man who had taken away his entire family...

_"...No...I refuse to believe that someone like _you_ is the son of such a great man! You will be punished for disgracing his name with your lies!"_ the voice screamed, suddenly cracking and turning feminine.

The group readied themselves for any kind of assault, but they weren't prepared for the floor to disappear from underneath them.

"SHIT!" they all screamed when they felt themselves falling.

All but Naruto, who was frantically looking for a way to stop their descent to what he just knew was a spike pit.

'Wait a minute, we're literally surrounded by shadows, which I can control. I must really need sleep, I'm getting a bit slow.' Naruto called the shadows around him and commanded them to congregate underneath him and the others.

The Darkness started to gather, then spread out in all directions. It attached itself to the walls of the pit and held fast, catching Naruto and his group in a makeshift net.

Zabuza, Kurohane, Haku, Chigusa, and Kiriko all sighed in relief. Though they couldn't see what they had landed on, they were thankful that it wasn't the ground or a bed of razor sharp spikes.

"So, what do we do now?" Zabuza asked.

"We continue down." Naruto answered.

The others looked at him incredulously. "What?"

"We go down."

"What if there are spikes down there?" Chigusa whimpered.

"So? Every clan house in Konoha has secret tunnels under them for quick escapes incase of an invasion. The Uchiha also have a spike pit, but theirs has an entrance to a secret tunnel at the bottom of it. So if you can avoid the spikes, you can get out."

"Why would they put an exit at the bottom of a spike pit?" Haku questioned.

"If you were hunting someone down, and you came to a pit like this one, would you honestly think someone jumped to their death to avoid you? And even if you did, would you follow them?"

"Point taken."

Naruto turned his net into an elevator and had it slowly descend. During this time he and the others checked their weapons and supplies.

"I'm low on throwing knives. I've only got five left." Chigusa said.

"My blade's a bit chipped, but nothing too serious." Zabuza said.

"I'm running low on chakra. I picked the wrong time to test out that absolute defense I came up with, it took a lot out of me." Kiriko panted.

Naruto reached into his cloak and pulled out a bag of pills. "Take only one of those. Way better than soldier pills, but they'll kill you if you take another before the first is out of your system."

Kiriko nodded and popped on pill into her mouth and swallowed. The effects were almost immediate and she felt all of her strength return. She felt like she could take Naruto one-on-one with no problem!

Zabuza smirked when he saw Kiriko's expression. "Feels good, doesn't it?"

Kiriko just nodded vigorously.

"Well, I'm good to go." Kurohane said, hefting her scythe on her shoulder.

"Same here." Seizonsha yipped.

"I've got a few water bottles on me, so I'm good." Haku said.

Naruto looked at her. "I have something for you, remind me to get it after this is over." he looked at everyone. "Listen up, I want you all to be prepared for anything down there. No doubt whatever's here knows about the tunnels and is bound to have something down there, just incase."

"Then why aren't we going back up?" Chigusa asked fearfully.

"Because, it will be expecting that. I'm sure whatever's down there is nothing compared to what may be waiting for us if we climb back up."

They all nodded, not being able to argue with Naruto's logic.

The elevator suddenly stopped and they looked over the side.

"Yep...spikes." Zabuza groaned.

Sure enough, at the bottom of the pit were countless metal spikes sticking up from the ground. They were covered in a brownish-red substance that looked like rust, but they could tell it was dried blood. The stench of years of decay assaulted their noses, especially Naruto's and Seizonsha's. This confirmed that there were multiple bodies under their feet, all victims of the pit.

"Well, let's find that secret passage." Zabuza said, then jumped off of the shadow platform and in between the spikes.

The others looked at each other and shrugged, then jumped in after the swordsman, carefully avoiding the deadly metal spears. Naruto, Seizonsha, and Kurohane were the last to jump in, looking up to make sure nothing had followed them down.

"Let's do this." Naruto said and leapt off of the platform, followed by Kurohane.

XXXX

And it is done!

Did you people honestly think I would give some homo like Orochimaru the power to kill high level demons? FOOLS!

But now you know the true culprit behind the murder of Kyuubi's family.

Shizaru is going to be a huge character in this story, and most of the major events that happen will be connected to him in some way.

Also, I've introduced yet another character from Soul Calibur: Tira! You won't see much of her until the Chūnin Exams, so don't hold your breath. I have to play Soul Calibur 3 some more to get a feel for her fighting style and figure out how to turn it into something more...ninja-esque. Shouldn't be too hard, but you never know.

Someone also asked be what that green mist was in a previous chapter, well now you know. I was originally going to have him take over Naruto, but I got an even better idea, so you'll have to wait and see how that unfolds.

(1) The spelling in "concern" is intentional. What do you people take me for?

(2) What can I say? He hates snakes.

(3) I haven't changed anything about Tira's look from SC3, so just Google her and look for yourselves.

(4) If you're wondering how it knows about roller coasters, it can't take Suto's mind, but it can go through his memories.

That's about it so...

Jason Out!


	17. Ravenous Unrest

I'm back, and happy new year to everyone!

I told you there would be a new chapter in January, so here it is.

Enjoy!

XXXX

When they reached the bottom they found the others searching the walls for any secret doors. But they were mainly just feeling around for anything out of place, since visibility was near zero.

Naruto made a small fireball and had it float a few feet above their heads, using his shadow platform to cover the light so it couldn't be seen from above.

"Thanks." they all said and continued searching.

Naruto just shook his head and scanned the small area. Due to his half demon status he could see perfectly in the dark, so finding something out of the ordinary was easy. He spotted a brick that was a lighter shade of grey than the others and he walked over to it. After inspecting it for a bit, he finally pulled it to see if his hunch was correct.

The brick first slid out easily, then stopped dead and went back in. The walls and the ground trembled and the bricks started to peel back like wallpaper. Naruto and his group stood and stared at what was now revealed: I giant door. It was at least thirty feet high and over twenty feet wide!

"...Okay..." Kurohane rose an eyebrow.

Zabuza just whistled. "So, do we go through?"

Naruto nodded and lifted his foot, then planted it into the door as hard as he could. The door, which looked to be made of steel, flew off of its hinges and skidded across the ground, leaving a trail of sparks and a horrible screeching noise.

Everyone looked at Naruto. "Subtlety isn't your strong suit, is it?" Haku asked sarcastically.

"Most of the time it is, I just don't feel like being quiet right now." Naruto shrugged.

"Whatever." Zabuza rolled his eyes and they all started into the room.

Naruto was about to follow, but his cloak suddenly went into another fit and he appeared in front of them, blocking the door.

"Don't take another step! Don't move a single muscle and remain completely quiet." he ordered them.

They were about to question him when they heard a low growl coming from the darkness behind Naruto. They stood stock still, waiting for something to happen.

Naruto could feel something coming up behind him. His cloak was going crazy from the bloodlust that was coming off of the creature in waves. He could hear a faint clicking noise and the ground shook with the sound of heavy footfalls.

But Naruto wasn't concerned with that, as it was taking all of his will power to keep his cloak from moving.

'Stop it, you infernal creature!'

**"Don't get mad at it, it's just doing its job and trying to protect you." **Kyuubi chastised Naruto.

'Now is not the time!' Naruto mentally yelled.

His eyes widened when he felt hot breath on the back of his neck and head. When the smell hit him it nearly brought him to his knees. It was like a combination of rotting fruit, decaying meat, and burnt plastic.

Naruto made his cloak encompass Seizonsha, keeping her out of harm's way. So when a gigantic, vaguely reptilian muzzle slid over his shoulder, Naruto only had to worry about himself.

This...thing was hideous. Its scaled, rubbery hide showed signs of extreme decomposition. Parts of its skull were visible, and its olfactory chamber was infested with maggots. Its dagger-like teeth, worn and yellow with age, were huge and many were overgrown. Some actually spiraled up, like tusks, into the creature's own head. Its mouth opened and a low clicking sound emitted from it. Its eyes were gone, having rotted away long ago, and Naruto guessed it was using echolocation to find its way around.

It was a Putrid, but it was that largest Naruto had ever seen, by far. Judging by the size of its head alone, it had to be over sixty feet in length!

'What the hell is this thing?' Naruto was almost to the point of sweating. If this thing decided to take a bite at least one of them was done for.

The others were frozen in place, none of them had ever seen anything like the beast before, not even in their most horrible nightmares. The only ones who weren't trembling in fear were Kurohane and Zabuza, but only because they were the closest to the monster, and couldn't afford even the slightest movement.

Naruto was hit with an idea and made a kunai out of the shadows. With an almost unnoticeable flick of his wrist the kunai flew through the air and hit the wall with a loud ping.

The creature's head snapped up and it stepped passed Naruto and stood over the others. It made strange hissing and clicking noises as its massive head swung from side to side in wide arcs.

Naruto beckoned his group forward with a silent hand gesture and they all snuck passed the creature. When they were fairly far inside the pitch black chamber, Haku stepped on a dry-rotted twig. The sound it made was too minute(my-newt) for the rest of them to hear, but Naruto stopped in his tracks.

Everyone ended up bumping into him and each other.

"What?" Zabuza whispered as quietly as he could.

"GET DOWN!" Naruto ducked, as did everyone else. And it wasn't a nanosecond too late, because the giant lizard's jaws snapped shut right where Haku, Chigusa, and Kiriko's heads would have been.

They all rolled away as the giant zombie went into a frenzy of snapping and stomping. Naruto summoned a larger fireball than his last and tossed it into the air, but not to attack, to illuminate the room so they could fight.

He almost wished he hadn't. The room was filled with the skeletal remains of humans and animals, but that wasn't what worried Naruto. What did, however, was the amount of Putrids, of various sizes, that also occupied the chamber. There had to be over a hundred of them! Most were the size that Naruto was used to; about eight feet tall and fifteen feet long. But some were almost the size of the enraged one they were currently dealing with; over twenty feet tall and fifty feet long. And the worst part: every one of them was awake now.

"Son of a bitch." Naruto hissed and drew the Black Soul.

He also released Seizonsha, as they'd need every bit of help they could get in this battle. He knew that, more often than not, the size of a Putrid reflected its power level. And judging by the size of some of them, they may very well have been stronger than Naruto himself.

Naruto turned to his group and shouted, "Don't let any of them bite you! If they do you'll become one of them!"

The others visibly paled at the thought of becoming something so ugly.

The giant Putrid lashed out with its long, whip-like tail, attempting to hit Zabuza. Said former nuke-nin ducked under the tail and dashed towards the monster's legs. With two slashes the beast's Achilles tendons were severed and it fell to the ground with an surprised shriek.

Naruto cut two Putrids in half and stabbed another in the head. He looked over when he heard the giant Putrid fall and gave a nod to Zabuza, who returned the gesture.

"Regroup!" Naruto shouted.

The others ran over to their leader and stood back-to-back with each other.

"What do we do now?" Kurohane asked, hoping that Naruto had a plan.

"Well, we're outnumbered, surrounded, and we could very well be outclassed here."

"What do you mean 'outclassed'?" Haku really hoped Naruto was joking.

"I've dealt with these creatures hundreds of times before, and from what I've learned, their size indicates their strength. The largest one I've ever face was just under thirty feet long and fourteen feet tall, and it almost killed me."

"But that one, and some of the others, are twice that size..." Kiriko's eyes widened in fear.

"Which means they're probably four times as strong." Naruto said, then looked over his shoulder. "Shit," he hissed, "the Alpha is getting up."

The others turned and, sure enough, the biggest of the monsters was getting back to its feet, and was none too pleased. It turned its head and leveled an eyeless glare at the oddball group.

With a furious roar the creature stomped forward, jaws wide open and ready to devour those that had dared to harm it.

Naruto and the others scattered as the huge beast plowed through the area where they once stood. However, this turned out to be one of those "out of the pan and into the fire" situations, as their sudden movement caused the other Putrids to attack.

Naruto cursed and made a small army of three-hundred Darkness Clones and sent them into battle. The others saw his plan and made clones of their own.

The battle raged fiercely for what seemed like hours. Naruto and his clones cut down monster after monster, but it was never enough. These monsters were much tougher than normal Putrids. They didn't die unless you cut off their heads and destroyed their brains completely. If you didn't, the head would just re-attach itself and the beast would be good to go once again. It was the same with every body part. Cutting off arms, legs, and tails only stopped the creatures for a few seconds.

Most of the clones were sent to swarm the largest of the monsters, but many were destroyed before they even got to their target, and the ones that did make it didn't last very long afterward.

Zabuza was, so far, the only one who had succeeded in killing one of the undead behemoths. By pure luck he had thrown his blade at just the right angle to sever the beast's spine and cause its head to fall, as its spine was the only thing holding the head in place. He then placed twelve explosive tags on the severed head and ran towards his next target. The head was completely annihilated and the body stopped twitching.

Kurohane had come close, trying the same tactic as Zabuza and throwing her scythe. But this monster seemed to have seen its companion's demise and ducked under the spinning blade. Kurohane didn't even have time to curse before the creature's tail smacked her into a wall.

"...Ow..." Kurohane slid off of the wall in an almost cartoon-ish way.

The huge Putrid raged on, crushing and eating whatever it could catch; namely its own kind. It couldn't be stopped, at least not by conventional means.

Naruto staked a smaller Putrid to a wall with a large bone he had found. He backed away as it flailed its arms wildly and snarled in a feral rage, trying to tear him to pieces with its claws. Naruto was about to finish it off when it suddenly stopped struggling. It glared at him and placed its claws into the wall behind it, then hauled itself up the wall, nearly tearing its own body in half.

But it didn't stop, it kept going up the wall like some demonic gecko. Naruto's eyes followed the Putrid up to the ceiling, where he lost him in a sea of...pulsating vines?

'No...those are...tails!' Naruto leapt from his spot just as five more Putrids fell from the ceiling and chased after him. "Look out! They're on the ceiling!" Naruto yelled out.

All of the humanoid combatants looked up and cursed loudly before running.

"We have to get out of here!" Haku shouted.

She was having the hardest time destroying the Putrids out of all of them. Seeing as how she only used senbon needles in combat, she had no means of cutting off their heads.

"Haku!" she heard her name and turned to see Naruto behind her. "You know the Water Dragon Projectile, right?"

"Yes, why? That attack won't do much to these creatures." Haku said.

Naruto punted a Putrid's head off and turned to Haku. "You have nearly perfect control over Water and Ice, correct?" Haku nodded. "Make a water dragon, turn its teeth into ice, and use it to bite their heads off and crush them, simple." Naruto shrugged and leapt away just before a Putrid slammed down on him.

Haku stood rotted to her spot, slack-jawed with a twitching eye. How could she have not come up with something that simple? She made the appropriate handseals and opened two bottles of water. The water floated out of the bottles and gathered into a large ball above Haku's head. A serpentine dragon made entirely out of liquid roared out from the sphere and glared at a group a Putrids advancing on Haku. Its crystallized teeth gleamed in the orange light made by Naruto's floating fireball and it lunged at the monsters, biting them in half and swallowing them. Their body parts were then crushed by the highly pressurized water within the dragon.

Naruto had killed the Putrids that had been chasing him and he was now going for the Alpha Male. Hoping its death would stop the battle, he dashed forward like a black lightning bolt, sword drawn and charged with the last of his chakra for a Dragon Splitter. But as he neared the giant, a smaller Putrid tackled him.

When they landed Naruto instinctively grabbed the beast's neck, preventing it from closing its deadly jaws around his throat. The creature's weight caught him slightly off guard, as it seemed to be far too heavy for a half-rotted corpse. But he wasn't exactly the authority on Putrid weight, as he'd made it a point to keep them at sword's length at a minimum.

'This thing has to weigh half a ton!' Naruto thought as he tried to overpower the monster.

Naruto was fairly exhausted from his previous fights and he didn't carry soldier pills with him. The pills that he gave Zabuza and the others were made from a plant that was deadly to demons if consumed, so that wasn't an option. Normally he would allow Kyuubi to pump more chakra into his system to restore it, but not only would that hurt like a bitch, it would alert the Putrids and they would see him as the biggest threat. This would make them all attack him. He may not have known the true limits of his own power, but he was fairly certain that taking on hundreds of undead monsters was above those limits.

Naruto also didn't want everyone to ask questions, even he couldn't come up with a believable excuse for being able to us demonic chakra without revealing what he was.

"Get...Offa' me!" Naruto grunted and tried to force the Putrid off, but it was just too strong, and he was too tired.

A loud growl caused the masked boy to look over to his right, and his eyebrow twitched at what he saw.

'Oh come on!' there was another Putrid, slightly smaller than the one he was wrestling with, staring at him hungrily. It snarled and lunged at its prey.

Kurohane suddenly got a strange chill up her spine and she chanced a look over her shoulder. Her eyes widened when she saw one of the decayed lizards pinning Naruto to the ground and another one coming in to attack while he was vulnerable.

"NARUTO-KUN!" she screamed and dashed towards him.

Everyone heard the woman's scream and looked for what had alarmed her so. When their eyes landed on Naruto different thoughts ran through their minds.

'Dammit, kid! You're supposed to be the strongest one here!'

'Naruto-kun, no!'

'Nii-chan!'

"ONII-SAN!" Seizonsha jumped from her perch on a stalagmite and ran towards her brother, determined to save him.

Naruto struggled frantically to get out of the Putrid's grip, but nothing worked on the creature. One of the benefits of being undead was that they didn't feel pain at all. The only way to stop them was to either kill them or make it physically impossible for them to move. Naruto wasn't in a position to do either, so he could only stare on helplessly.

'Helpless...For six years that's all I was...helpless...And for six years...I had almost forgotten what helplessness felt like.' Naruto thought to himself.

**"Kit, you have to get up!" **Kyuubi screamed, if one of the Putrids bit him, not even she could save him from the infection.

'I...can't...I'm too tired...too weak...'

**"Then let me help you!" **Kyuubi pleaded.

'And appear weaker than I already do? No thanks.'

**"Dammit, Naruto, your pride will be your undoing!"**

'...' Naruto didn't reply to Kyuubi's comment.

Was it his pride that was making him refuse to accept her help? Or was it fear? Fear of what his newfound "precious people" would think of him if they sensed the demonic chakra. Fear of their rejection and betrayal. No, it couldn't be fear. Fear was something foreign to Naruto, something he refused to acknowledge or accept...Something that he didn't know how to deal with.

Kyuubi smirked as she thought of a way to make Naruto fight back.

**"If it is your pride...I don't see what you have to be proud of." **this caught Naruto's attention and Kyuubi continued. **"If anything I should be the prideful one. You wouldn't have any power whatsoever without me. I made you what you are in every way. Without me you'd still be a weak little human."**

'...' Naruto didn't reply, but his eyebrow twitched violently.

**"You'd always be behind everyone else, the runt of the litter. You'd still be the village punching bag, a doormat, something to be taken advantage of. I gave you the power to defend yourself! I gave you the power to strike back against your aggressors! I gave you the power to gain all that you have!**

**Without me, you'd have nothing...You'd be nothing!" **

'Shut...up...' Naruto finally responded.

Kyuubi snorted. **"What are you gonna do if I don't? Cut off our mental link like you always do? Run away from your problems just like the scared little boy you are inside? Figures. Once a human, always a human."**

'Quiet...'

**"Why don't you make me shut up, **_**human**_**? In fact, why don't you come in here so I can show you just how weak you are. Just how fragile and pathetic you are. Just how **_**human**_** you are."**

'No...I am not weak...I am not human...'

**"Then prove it, **_**human**_**. Prove that you aren't what I know you to be. Prove me wrong, **_**human**_**." **Naruto's body didn't stir. **"Just as I thought, still only **_**human**_**. It looks like I'll have to take over and fight for you. Just like a helpless little kit, you need your mother to fight for you."**

The word "mother" made something inside of Naruto snap. Something that he had been subconsciously restraining. And, like the chains holding the gates of hell closed, the bonds holding Naruto back were broken and a true monster was unleashed.

Foul black and purple chakra erupted from Naruto's body, disintegrating the Putrids around him and blowing everyone else back. He rose to his feet like a zombie rising from its grave; standing hunched over and arms hanging limply, fingers twitching every few seconds.

Naruto then tossed his head back and let out an unholy roar. Not a scream, not a shout, but a monstrous roar that shook the entire chamber. A roar almost on par with an enraged Kyuubi.

More chakra exploded from his body, sending those that had just gotten up back onto their asses. His roar increased in volume, actually causing all those listening physical pain.

Behind his mask Naruto's eyes glowed red before they were overtaken by tendrils of darkness. His mask began to crack and fall apart, revealing one void-like eye to the outside world. Then his entire body began to crack like glass and a crimson light showed through them.

"What the hell is happening?" Zabuza yelled, trying to be heard over Naruto's roaring.

"I have no idea, but I think it's going to be bad!" Kurohane said, digging her scythe into the ground to keep from being blown back any further.

Inside of her cage Kyuubi gulped nervously, maybe she had gone too far.

_"What the hell did you do?"_ Nightmare demanded.

Kyuubi sheepishly told the demon knight what she had said to Naruto, and he smashed his head against a wall.

_"Do you have any idea what you've just unleashed?"_

**"...Not really, no."**

_"He's going into his first demon form!"_

**"And that's bad, why?"**

_"You fool! He's going to kill everything! Not just those zombies, he's going to kill the others as well. He might even come in here and attack us because you antagonized him!"_

**"So? I can take him."**

_"No, you can't, neither of us can. He's nearly unstoppable now. Two times stronger, three times faster, five times more sadistic, and twenty times meaner! He now has no problem using the fact that this is his mind against us. You may be free from the seal, but it still has power over you. You can't mess with his mind, but his mind can mess with you. In here, he's God, and he knows it now. If he decides to come in here...I was asleep the entire time. This is your mess, so you can deal with the consequences."_ with that Nightmare left.

Kyuubi was starting to sweat, she just knew this wasn't going to end well, she just didn't know for who.

Back in the real world Naruto's body exploded, literally. All that remained was a vague humanoid form, still roaring and glowing crimson. The black and purple chakra formed around the figure and solidified into a suit of armor. A crimson glow could still be seen from the joints and the helmet, but it was slowly fading.

The figure stopped its infernal racket and hunched over, clutching its head in its hands.

"...Run..." Naruto's voice came through in a low whisper.

"What?" Kurohane stepped forward, along with Haku and Seizonsha.

"...Get...away..." Naruto's voice was strained and raspy.

"We can't hear you, Naruto-kun. Please, speak up." Kurohane pleaded.

_"He told you to run. What are you, deaf?"_ the armored figure stood upright, revealing him to be almost a foot taller than Naruto normally was at six foot four inches.

"Naruto-kun?" Kurohane began to slowly back away.

The creature shook its head. _"Sorry, babe, but he ain't here right now. Would you like to leave a message?"_ it chuckled evilly.

"Then who...or what are you?" Haku said, pulling out four senbon.

_"Me? I'm Naruto's inner darkness. I'm what he truly is underneath his apathetic attitude. I'm the monster that was created as a result of his treatment. I am years of bottled up rage and hatred. I am the devil in a humanoid shell. I am Nightmare!"_ black chakra surged from the demon's body and everyone was blown away.

The newest version of Nightmare was a vast improvement of the previous incarnations. It wore all black armor with red "veins" running through the joints and the neck. It's arms were perfectly proportional to its body and finely muscled underneath the armor.

Every part of its body was armored. Arms were covered with spiked shoulder pads and black vambraces with three small blades running along the forearms and a eight inch slightly curved spike near each elbow. The clawed gauntlets he sported had a strange red symbol carved into them; an overly intricate "N". The breastplate had another symbol carved into it; nine blade-like designs arranged in a circle, four of which were glowing red. Its legs were covered in more form-fitting, pants-like armor. the only parts where the armor disconnected were the knee and ankle joins. The greaves were connected to the boots and had two eight inch spikes growing from the top of the knee joints. Its boots were very reminiscent of Naruto's, but the protective metal toe guards were on the outside.

And finally, this Neo-Nightmare's helm had also undergone a makeover from the original. Two long, red horns curved over the top and ended just below the base of the skull, though no one could tell if they were part of the armor, or part of Nightmare itself. Coming down over the forehead and eyes, the main part of the helm covered the top half of Nightmare's head and had the kanji for Darkness, Fire, and Wind arranged as the points of a triangle with the Konoha symbol in the middle of the forehead. Instead of the all metal face mask, this one had three rows of breathing vents running from the bridge of the nose to the chin. There didn't seem to be a gorget(neck guard), just the same red "veins", pulsing with chakra.

The newest Nightmare laughed insanely, dark chakra still rolling off of him in waves. He ignored the humans and turned to the Putrids, who had mostly fled. But the largest of them had stayed behind, holding their ground fearlessly, regardless of what their instincts told them.

In their minds, size was the main power determinant, so why should they worry about such a small being?

Nightmare cocked his head to the side. _"So, the undead truly are fearless...Or just really stupid."_ he laughed again.

The smallest of the remaining Putrids, a thirty footer, charged in, roaring angrily, like it had actually understood the insult.

Nightmare just gave an overdramatic yawn and cracked his neck. When the Putrid was about to devour him, he raised his left arm and caught the beast by its upper jaw, using his right to hold the lower jaw. The Putrid was stopped dead in its tracks...at least its head was. The rest of its body carried forward, compacting violently against Nightmares intense physical power. A sickeningly loud crack was heard and the beast fell to the ground, its body twitching like it had just be electrocuted.

Nightmare, however, was still holding onto the creature's jaws.

_"That's it? That's all you've got? I guess small things come in big packages."_ he laughed at his own joke, then ripped the zombie's head in half.

The Putrid's toes curled up and its legs kicked spastically, clawing at the air and trying in vain to right itself. Contrary to popular believe, the bodies of many zombies still had the ability of locomotion without their heads. They were just extremely uncoordinated and had a very difficult time getting back to their feet if they were knocked down.

Nightmare held onto the top half of the head and charged a Rasengan in his right hand. He sat the head down and absorbed the Rasengan into his arm. Laying his palm on the creature's cranium, he grinned sadistically behind his helm.

_"Rasen Shottogan!"_ with a loud bang and a flash of purple light, the Putrid's brain was obliterated, causing its body to finally cease all movement.

The remaining three giant Putrids hissed loudly and took a slight step back.

This didn't go unnoticed by Nightmare. _"So, it seems you do have some intelligence."_ he was about to rush forward and smite the beasts, but stopped in mid-step and looked back at the dead Putrid. _"Ahh, so that's how you creatures are able to survive outside of the Shadow Realm. You have souls! I get it now; you big fuckers use your souls and minimal Darkness control to summon the smaller ones. Then you place a bit of your soul into them to keep them on this plane of existence. But you idiots have summoned so many of them that you only have a small chunk of your souls left, and, therefore, have next to no intelligence!"_ Nightmare cackled and made a mock charge, to which the giant Putrids flinched. _"But it seems that destroying all of those little bastards has given each of you a dramatic increase in both power and intelligence."_ dark chakra surrounded Nightmare's hand and he chuckled evilly. _"Now, come to me, Soul Edge, and devour the souls of these foul creatures!"_

The dark chakra began to crackle with small bolts of red electricity. The bolts slowly gathered and formed the outline of a huge sword. And, with a thunderous boom and a bright flash of crimson light, the newest incarnation of the Soul Edge appeared in the new Nightmare's hand.

It was massive, over seven feet in length, a foot and a half of which was the hilt, with a six foot blade. The hilt looked to be made of an organic material, almost like a living creature with veins and muscle. If one looked close enough they would see that it looked like a dragon's skull. The horns curved back and upwards over the handle of the sword, but not enough to restrict hand movement or effect Nightmare's grip. The eye socket on the right side of the skull held a large, purple, slitted eye that seemed to be scanning the area, possibly looking for victims.

The blade protruded from the dragon's jaws, like a burst of fiery breath. The blade was blood red with small "veins" pulsing with purple chakra running down the length. The edge, however, was black and wickedly serrated, like an oversized saw. Near the tip of the sword there was a large hook-like protrusion, around half a foot long. This spike gave the tip of the blade the look of a serrated axe.(1)

In short; the sword looked awesome...in a highly terrifying way.

Nightmare whistled in appreciation of his new weapon, swinging it experimentally a few times.

_"Perfect balance..."_ he then smashed a Rasengan into the blade, but it didn't even dent the metal. _"Impervious to damage..."_ he reached behind his back and plucked a hair from the long, black and orange highlighted, blonde ponytail that hadn't been there just minutes before. He let the hair fall onto the blade and watched it split in half and fall to the ground. _"Sharp enough to cut through even the toughest demon's hide...Absolute perfection."_ he turned to the Putrids. _"Who wants to taste it first?"_

With a bloodcurdling roar a forty-five foot Putrid launched itself forward without warning. The ground shook with its mighty footfalls, and the walls vibrated from the sound of its roar.

But Nightmare seemed completely unimpressed with the giant, even going as far as to close his eyes and bob his head to imaginary music.

This seemed to further enrage the Putrid. How could a being of his size and power be ignored by such a puny creature?

When the monster was close enough Nightmare swung the Soul Edge lazily at the creature's foot, then sidestepped as it fell to the ground, its right foot severed. Nightmare continued to bob his head, but that wasn't the strangest thing. That was the fact that the flesh and bone around the wounds was smoking and melting right before everyone's eyes.

"The hell?" Zabuza scratched his head.

Kurohane was about to say something, but she then noticed a pale green liquid dripping the tips of the serrations on Nightmare/Naruto's sword.

"I think it's some kind of acidic poison secreted by the sword itself." Haku said once she noticed the liquid.

"So, even a small cut from that sword can result in death...or at least intense pain and a loss of limbs." Zabuza muttered, cringing at the thought of getting a wound the size of a paper cut, then watching as his arm melted away and fell off.

"Are you people serious? Like he needs poison with a sword that big!" Chigusa exclaimed.

"Why don't you go over and tell him that?" Kiriko said.

"That poison's pretty nifty stuff." Chigusa's attitude did a complete one-eighty.

_"Yes, it is."_ everyone jumped as Nightmare's voice came from beside them.

"When the hell? How did you get here?" Zabuza pointed at Nightmare.

Nightmare, still bobbing his head with his eyes closed, replied in a bored tone, _"Well, when a man and a woman really love each other..."_

"You know what I mean!"

_"I walked."_

"What? I didn't even sense you!"

_"That's because you suck."_

Zabuza flipped the dark knight off, the others just kept their distance.

Nightmare noticed this. _"Don't worry, you have nothing to fear from me at the moment. I want powerful opponents, and you are not powerful."_

They didn't know whether to be offended or relieved at Nightmare/Naruto's statement, but they chose relief to avoid confrontation with the armored powerhouse.

Nightmare suddenly appeared next to the fallen Putrid and raised the Soul Edge over his head. The eye on the dragon skull hilt closed, then snapped back open, having changed in color from purple to blazing orange. Steam started to rise off of the blade as it began to glow with intense heat. The sword grew brighter and brighter by the second until it was almost painful to look at.

Nightmare smirked behind his helm and brought the blade down with a primal roar and screamed, _"Infernal Wrath!"_ as soon as the blade made contact with the Putrid's skull, both its wielder and its victim were encased in a massive fireball.

The explosion shook the entire system of tunnels and chambers. Chunks of molten stone flew in all directions, some on which landed on the ancient tree roots that had overtaken the walls over the years. These roots instantly went up in flames, causing smoke to fill the chamber. But this was no ordinary smoke, it was the result of a violent chemical reaction of the rare bacteria on the roots and the sap caused by the intense heat. This reaction yielded a lethal gas that was now spreading throughout the chamber.

Zabuza started to cough violently before going through a quick set of handseals. "Ninja Art: Air Filter." he gagged once before sucking in a deep breath. "That's better."

Haku, Chigusa, and Kiriko went through the same seals and were able to breathe clearly again.

Kurohane and Seizonsha didn't have to worry about the poison at all, seeing as they were supernatural creatures, they had a natural immunity to most earthly toxins.

_"Good, good! It seems you have some form of common sense, little humans!"_ Nightmare shouted from the crater he was now standing it.

Seizonsha ran over to the edge of the crater and jumped in, ignoring Chigusa, Kiriko, and Haku's cries for her to stop.

They knew that the kit loved Naruto like no one else, that she would follow him to the ends of the earth, to hell and back, consequences be damned. But whatever that thing was, it wasn't Naruto. It was much too volatile, too unpredictable to be even remotely safe.

The girls' hearts slowed their erratic beating when they saw Seizonsha rising up out of the crater, yipping happily. Their hearts then skipped several beats when they saw exactly what the little fox was rising up on.

Seizonsha was sitting on Nightmare's helm without a care in the world. While the demonic warrior looked like the devil himself walking out from the pits of hell. The flames from the burning carcass in the center of the crater adding to the terrifying image.

Nightmare looked over to where the giant Putrids had been standing before, only to find two dead and the largest of them missing. Upon closer inspection he found that the two dead beasts had had their heads crushed and partially eaten.

_'So, he was smart enough to kill the other two and flee. Probably back to the Shadow Realm to become more powerful.'_ Nightmare narrowed his eyes and growled. _"But I wasn't finished yet."_

He looked at the humans and grinned behind his helm. _"I...Need...More...SOULS!"_ Seizonsha went tumbling off of Nightmare's head as he charged, Soul Edge held out to his side.

The world seemed to slow down suddenly. Everyone could see what was coming, but Nightmare had descended upon them before they could react.

He appeared in front of Kiriko and swung his sword, the blade level with the girl's neck. Three feet; Kiriko's eyes widened. Two feet; her pupils dilated in fear. One foot; her heartbeat accelerated to dangerous levels and her eyes began to water. Six inches; a single tear rolled down her cheek. One millimeter; the blade stopped.

Everyone's eyes widened. There, struggling to hold the demonic blade back, was Naruto. His heels dug into the ground, leaving shallow gashes in the earth where he was pushed back by the power of Nightmare's strike. Blood ran down the blade, leaking from the hands holding the sword at bay, and dripped to the ground.

_"What? How in the nine levels of hell did you get out?"_ Nightmare snarled, angered at his alter ego for ruining his fun.

"That doesn't matter. What does is that I'm here, and I'm ordering you to stop your psychotic idiocy." Naruto shoved the blade away.

_"You? Ordering me? Ha! You have no power over me!"_

Naruto snorted. "You stopped, didn't you?"

Nightmare stopped laughing and growled. He grabbed the back of Naruto's head and hissed into his face/mask.

_"I don't know how you got out, and quite frankly I don't care. You may have won this round, boy, but I'll be back to remind you of your place in this food chain. But for now, I'm gonna be that little voice in the back of your head. The voice that always reminds you of how weak you are, and how you always need the help of others to carry you through._

_You won because I let you win. But I'll be back...In fact, something tells me that I'm gonna get to play again very soon. But until then, I'm gonna go torment the bitch and the old man."_

With one final growl Nightmare smashed both his and Naruto's heads together, then disappeared in a bright flash of light, leaving only swirling embers in his wake. The eye on the Soul Edge closed and it reverted back to its dormant state; the Black Soul.

Naruto fell to his knees, clutching his head and groaning in pain. The girls and Seizonsha rushed the boy's side, frantically asking if he was alright and what had happened.

"I'm...fine...Are...you...alright...Kiriko?" Naruto panted.

The girl in question nodded and hugged Naruto to herself. "I...I thought we had lost you...Nii-chan." she sobbed quietly.

Naruto just patted her back awkwardly, still not used to these types of emotions, especially when they were directed at him.

"It's alright, I'm fine now." Naruto tried to rise, but found himself too weak to stand. "Dammit!" he hissed.

Zabuza walked up to the masked Genin and held out his hand. "Come on, kid, we need to get moving. No telling when those zombies will be back."

Naruto shook his head. "If we move further we will encounter more enemies. I can't fight at the moment, so I will just be a liability, which I refuse to be. We will rest here and prepare for what is next."

"You want to rest here? In the den of the zombie lizards?" Zabuza said incredulously.

"The ones in this chamber are all dead, and the big one escaped. I have no doubts that it was the master of these creatures, so when it left it recalled the souls of the others that allowed them to exist on this plane. So we won't encounter any more of them down here. Anything else that is out there...well, would you come down this way after what just happened?"

Zabuza shook his head and sighed. "One day, kid, one day I'm gonna find a flaw in your logic." he then sat on a rock and pulled out a scroll.

After unrolling it, Zabuza ran his thumb along the Kubikiribōchō's blade and wiped the blood on the blank paper. With a single handseal Zabuza unsealed a medium-sized whetstone and set to sharpening his sword.

Kurohane sat down next to Naruto, opposite of Haku, and tapped him on the shoulder.

"Yes?"

"You can't transport us out of here, can you?"

"No, something here isn't right at all. Ever since we entered this chamber my Darkness alignment seems to have been nullified. I can't help but feel that I'm being...tested in some way. But I know there is something here behind whatever's going on. And whatever it is has a Darkness alignment much stronger than my own, and can somehow control my cloak."

"Why do you think it's after you?"

"Because you're still here."

"What do you mean?"

"You are, essentially, a being from the Shadow Realm with a soul to maintain your existence in this realm. If all Darkness alignments were nullified, neither you nor those Putrids would be able to maintain your dimensional stability here."

Kurohane just groaned and rubbed her temples.

"What's wrong?" Naruto cocked his head to the side.

"I learned something...and it hurts."

Naruto sweatdropped. "...I seriously want to ask if you're a natural blonde, but then I'd be setting myself up for something bad." he was actually referring to the fact that he was a natural blonde himself, but...

Kurohane winked. "Oh, does Naruto-kun want to see if the carpet matches the curtains?" she traced little circles on his chest.

Naruto sighed. "...I'm just going to shut up now."

Kurohane pouted cutely. "Aww, and here I was hoping that you were a screamer."

Throughout all of this Haku found herself pinching her nose to prevent herself from passing out due to blood loss.

'She just won't let up! Even at a time like this, in a place like this, she's still after MY Naruto-kun!' the girl glared rusty, poisoned daggers at the leather clad summon.

Naruto shook his head in exasperation. "I need to rest and recharge, so try to keep it down. I also need to...search my mind for some answers." he then sat in his meditation position; cross-legged with his hands on his knees, and entered his mindscape.

(Naruto's Mindscape)

Naruto found himself sitting in a chair inside of a large dining hall. He assumed that he was within Kyuubi's cage because said demoness was sitting next to him, looking very ashamed and almost...fearful?

**"...Naruto...I'm sorry-" **she was cutoff by Naruto's hand.

"No need for apologies. You did what you had to do, and you got me out of my...odd state of mind. I haven't done something like that in..."

**"Six years."** Kyuubi finished.

"What...what's happening to me?" Naruto looked at Kyuubi. "Why do I feel like I do? Why do I suddenly care about others? Why do I care what they think of me? What's wrong with me?" he squeezed the armrest on his chair until it snapped like a toothpick.

Kyuubi placed her hand and Naruto's shoulder and gave a reassuring squeeze.

**"Nothing's wrong with you, Kit, you are just growing. You now have people you care for, who, in turn, care for you. It's only natural for you to not want to lose them. You've been alone your entire life, you need them. Even though you won't admit it, you do need them, and you know it."**

"But...I had you...that was enough. I was fine...dare I say I was...content."

**"And now?"**

"I'm too confused to be content. With you, I was sure of where your loyalties were, but with them...there are too many possible traitors.

**"Come now, don't think of them that way!"**

"I...I don't want to think of them in such ways, but I can't help it. I don't know why, but I can't help but think that they'll stab me in the back as soon as I let my guard down. Is there something wrong with me or...have I truly been betrayed that many times?"

Kyuubi winced at the question, for she knew the answer, and it was disgusting.

**"Just give them a chance. Most of them are too infatuated with you to betray you! Zabuza may seem like a shady character, but the Seven Swordsmen were always said to be among the most honorable shinobi. Ravens, like most summons, are known to be fiercely loyal to worthy summoners, so Kurohane is a given. You have nothing to worry about, Kit."**

"I know...but something inside of me won't let me trust them. It's like a little voice in the back of my head. Telling me not to let them get too close, telling me to keep one hand on my sword when I'm awake, and one eye open when I sleep. It's all so confusing! I don't know who to listen to. The voice has been with me all my life, and has never been wrong about someone, I just never listened to it until I found you. In fact, you are the only one that can quiet the voice. But now...it's even telling me to be wary of you."

Kyuubi's eyes widened as the final piece of the puzzle that was Neo-Nightmare fell into place.

Throughout Naruto's life Kyuubi had monitored his condition, both mental and physical. Somewhere along the line Naruto developed a second conscience. While his normal conscience told him not to think so ill of everyone and give some people a chance, his second conscience told him not to trust anyone. It told him to be wary of all things.

Kyuubi had tried to suppress it, but the seal didn't allow her enough control to do that. So she settled for magnifying Naruto's normal conscience. That didn't work out all too well at all.

She had gotten Naruto to trust people again, but he trusted the wrong ones. And it had resulted in him being beaten half to death, tied to a post, and burned alive. After that Kyuubi vowed never to mess with Naruto's mind and emotions again.

And so Naruto's second conscience was allowed to take over and made Naruto was he was today: an untrusting, uncaring, semi-psychotic, half-demon powerhouse.

But, when the Soul Edge was added to the equation, things went even further downhill. Even though he was the blade's master, it still held partial control over him. This allowed it to magnify all of his negative emotions. But these were controlled by Naruto's second conscience. Thus the Soul Edge took control of that conscience.

Naruto's negative emotions were magnified, but it didn't directly effect him. They were kept by the Soul Edge, for the most part, and used to gain more power. Eventually, probably a result of Nightmare's training, the second conscience took on a form and became a separate being within Naruto's mind.

And, since the conscience in general is there to keep people away from harm, Naruto's dark conscience wanted its host to stay away from anything and anyone it deemed as harmful. But, being what it was, it deemed almost everyone as harmful in some way.

For a while, that was fine. But, when Naruto stopped listening to his second conscience, it saw him as harmful to himself, thus deeming him unworthy of control over his own body.

Normally this wouldn't be a problem, but Naruto's dark conscience just happened to have access to most of the Soul Edge's power now, making it stronger than Naruto himself. This meant that, if it got out, nothing could stop it from destroying everything it saw as harmful to its master.

Kyuubi thought of the basic mindset of the dark conscience as this: "Master doesn't know what's good for him. Master is dangerous to himself. Others are making Master dangerous, must eliminate others."

This alter ego would now do anything to accomplish its self-set mission, even if it meant beating Naruto and locking him away until it was finished.

Kyuubi sighed mentally. **'And it only gets worse from here.'**

XXXX

And chapter seventeen is now finished!

Sorry for the ridiculously long delay, but I had shit to do.

Some things may need to be cleared up about the battle with the Putrids. One: the reason Naruto didn't use his fireball is because fire doesn't do anything to zombies. Not only do you have to worry about them biting you, you have to worry about them setting you on fire as well. Two: something was controlling Naruto's cloak, causing it to go dormant. This ties directly into a future major event. Three: the reason Naruto didn't use his battle armor was the same reason he didn't let Kyuubi help him; demonic chakra. If there's anything else you need me to explain, feel free to leave it in your reviews, or PM me.

Get ready for another long delay, as I'm rewriting Tamer of the Hazard and I've got some new ideas for Naruto. So things still need to be worked out, but it's going well.

In this chapter you've seen a bit of the psychological mess that Naruto is, and as Kyuubi said; it only gets worse from here. I'm going to warn you now, there's going to be some severely fucked up shit in future chapters.

I'm the kind of guy that likes no-holds-barred violence, and that usually shows in my writing. Explains why I love the Saw and Hostel series of movies.

Oh, and one more thing; could you people please leave reviews that contain more than four words? Or ones that contain words period, I got a "review" that was a chatroom smiley. Given, most of the people who have reviewed my story haven't written one themselves, so they can't really say anything from that perspective. Just wanted to get that off my chest. Don't know why, since most of you will probably ignore it or just not review.

And, as you can tell, I've decided to go back to my standard chapter lengths of between seven and eight thousand words. The longer ones leave me with less for the next chapter. And, as you may have noticed, lines from previous chapters set up events in current ones, but sometimes I have to stretch the chapter and add those lines at the end of another chapter. And by the time the next chapter is out, you've forgotten the lines that set up the main event of the current chapter.

That may be a little confusing, but it isn't to me, so I don't care.

(1) I would draw it, but I can't draw worth shit. I may be able to get someone else to draw it, but don't hold your breaths.

Jason Out!


	18. The Mind Is A Terrible Thing

I'm back with chapter eighteen!

This chapter isn't going to have much action in it at all, it's more of a character development chapter. This chapter is meant to give you some insight on the mindset of some of the main characters, mainly Naruto and Neo-Nightmare.

Enjoy!

XXXX

(Elsewhere)

A black blur flew across a room and into a wall, imprinting itself on the hard surface.

Neo-Nightmare slid down the wall and landed kneeling and panting. _"Dammit!"_ he swore.

A rhythmic metallic clinking noise made him look up, just in time to receive a vicious kick to the face from a blue, metal boot.

_"You honestly thought you could come in here with your 'high and mighty' attitude and order me around?"_ the original Nightmare snorted. _"You young ones are all the same. You get a bit of power and you suddenly think you're the king of the world. Well, I've got news for you, 'your majesty'!"_ he kicked Neo-Nightmare in the ribs. _"You ain't shit! You're not even a true demon, just another manifestation of that accursed blade."_

Neo-Nightmare leered up at the other demon knight. _"You have no right, nor reason to be here! Your time is up, and has been for a while. It's my turn now, old timer!"_

Nightmare grabbed the black armored humanoid with his demon arm and slammed him back into the wall. _"With age comes power, dipshit! I was gonna cut you some slack because you were new at this, but now you've gone and pissed me off!"_ he began to squeeze Neo-Nightmare's neck. _"I should do the kid a favor and get rid of you here and now."_

Neo-Nightmare let out a choking laugh. _"Do you have any idea just how much that will fuck him up? I'm a part of his mind, a big piece of the 'Naruto Personality Pie'. He is what he is mainly because of me and, inadvertently, the fox bitch. I was created for a reason, and that was to keep Naruto safe from all threats, even himself if need be. You and her are the main threats! You are making him a threat to our survival! He cannot trust them...no, trust causes pain...trust leads to death...We can trust no one...not even ourselves."_

Nightmare snorted and dropped his look-alike. _"You...you seriously need help."_

Neo-Nightmare cackled madly, a manic gleam in his black hole-like eyes. _"We are one in the same, Naruto and I! He's just as fucked up as I am and vice versa! You call us insane, yet I a seem to be the only one who sees the truth...Naruto once saw the truth, but you clouded his sight. You all did! The old human, those ramen cooks, that white-eyed girl, that woman at the orphanage, and now you two! I can't allow this to go on, I won't! I refuse to let you lead us down a path that will take us to nothing but more pain and suffering! I know what you're trying to do, and I won't allow either of you to get us killed! I'll destroy you both! I swear on my own soul, I will obliterate you all!"_

Though he couldn't see it, Nightmare was sure the other knight was foaming at the mouth. _"...I'll be back...with a straight jacket."_

Neo-Nightmare's cackling reached new levels of insanity. _"It won't stop me from destroying you! Nothing will! My job, my purpose, is to keep Naruto safe, and I won't let you, or anyone else get in the way."_

_"But Kyuubi has done a fine job of protecting him."_ Nightmare tried to reason with the demented knight.

_"Don't make me laugh, you old fool! That bitch has caused us more pain than anyone else! This entire situation is her fault! Her and that blasted human Hokage, they are to blame for this!"_

Nightmare saw something flash across Neo-Nightmare's eyes...Some kind of emotion...was that...sorrow? Guilt? _'No, this nutcase is just a hollow shell created by the Soul Edge. It has no feelings, it knows only anger and its single-minded objective.'_ despite this knowledge, Nightmare couldn't shake the feeling that he was going to later regret ignoring Neo-Nightmare's eyes.

_"I would say I pity you, but I'm not sure you even know what pity is...and even if you did I doubt you'd deserve mine."_ Nightmare kicked the other demon across the room one last time before walking through the wall behind him, leaving the creature to find its own way out.

Neo-Nightmare rose to his feet and tried to laugh, but all that came from his mouth was an agonized scream. He fell to his knees and clutched his skull as he was assaulted by visions.

(Vision)

Neo-Nightmare looked down at a crying baby he was carrying in his arms.

"My, you've got a set of lungs on you...just like your mother."

The vision ended and another one began.

This time Neo-Nightmare was drawing an odd seal on the back of a painting in a room when another man burst through the door.

"Sir! The-" the panting ninja was cutoff by Neo-Nightmare.

"I know...And I am ready." he turned to the now quiet baby, wrapped in a blanket on a sofa. "I hope you can one day forgive me for what I'm about to do."

The vision ended and a ghostly voice echoed through his mind. _"Remember who you are..."_

Another voice cutoff the first, this one much more sinister and angry. _**"You are, now and forever, my slave."**_

_"Y-Yes...M-Master..."_ Neo-Nightmare once again rose to his feet, the pain in his head subsiding for the moment.

He walked forward on shaky legs and attempted to go out the same way Nightmare had, only to run into the solid wall and stagger back. He roared furiously and began to pound on the walls, trying to break them down, but having no success.

He eventually calmed himself and sat in a corner to meditate. He contemplated trying to find the mysterious voice again, or see if any more visions would come to him. They were painful, but they had piqued his curiosity and he wanted to know more, but he doubted his master would approve of that.

(With Nightmare)

Nightmare walked into Kyuubi's chamber and found said demoness sitting on a large bed with a sleeping Naruto resting his head in her lap.

Kyuubi smiled softly as she combed her fingers through Naruto's silk-like hair. She often wondered how it could be so soft, yet maintain its spiky, gravity defying shape. She wrote it off as something genetic and settled for simply enjoying the feeling.

Naruto curled up to Kyuubi a bit, like a child to its mother. This made both Kyuubi and Nightmare smile; it wasn't everyday that you saw the ever stoic Naruto curl up to anything, let alone another living being.

It was sort of comforting to know that, even with all he'd been through, the boy had still retained at least a shred of his former innocence. Whether it was just something subconscious that longed to return to the surface, or just a natural instinct that most younglings have to cling to their mother figure, it was still comforting to know that Naruto wasn't the monster that most, including he himself, thought he was.

_"He must be really comfortable around you."_ Nightmare said, walking up to the bed. After all, he new from Kyuubi that the boy normally slept like a Jumping Spider.

Kyuubi just smiled, not taking her eyes off of Naruto's form. **"He hasn't done this in years...I've got to say I've missed it terribly. Sometimes he's so...cold and distant. I expect that behavior towards others, but recently he's been more distant from me."**

Nightmare walked over and placed a hand on the demoness' shoulder. _"Our boy's growing up."_ he sniffed. _"Soon he's going to move out, get his own place, go to college, and become successful...And you know what that means..."_

Kyuubi laughed in exasperation, could this demon ever be serious? **"No, what?"** she decided to humor him.

_"We won't have to wait until he goes to sleep to get it on! Think about it, no more locking our door, no more coffee breaks! And we won't have to spend all the money to have our room soundproofed!"_

Kyuubi laughed and swatted Nightmare's hand away. **"You're an ass, you know that?"**

Nightmare shrugged. _"I hate the whole 'Doom and Gloom' thing. I've endured it for thousands of years in the sword, so it's party time now!"_

Kyuubi shook her head. **"Well, if you hate it, you sure chose the wrong vessel."**

_"I ain't chose shit! It was all that sword. I had no control of myself, I just did what it told me to."_

Kyuubi just nodded and looked back to down at Naruto. **"So, did the new guy say anything?"** she asked, referring to Neo-Nightmare.

_"Just that he was going destroy us and carry out his self-appointed mission. Nothing can get in his way, blah blah blah, nothing to worry about though. He probably hasn't even found his way out of that room yet."_ Nightmare chuckling a bit at the mental image he got.

Kyuubi smiled. **"I know he's going to cause a LOT of problems in the future. It may have already begun." **she frowned as Naruto twitched a bit in his sleep and clung to her a bit tighter.

These actions didn't go unnoticed by Nightmare. _"What do you mean? And what's wrong with him?"_

**"I fear that the Soul Edge has used this new Nightmare to gain some kind of limited access to Naruto's buried memories."**

_"'Buried memories'?"_

**"When you're wandering around, do you ever come to a large black door with seals carved into it, and chains holding it shut?"**

_"Yeah, but I couldn't even get close to the thing before I was blasted away from it."_Nightmare remembered that event vividly, as it was the first of many dangerous things he had discovered in Naruto's mind. Though some had actually discovered him first.

**"That is the door that holds Naruto's worst memories at bay. If it were ever to be opened, I fear that Naruto would become an unstoppable monster."**

_"What?"_

**"Imagine a beast more sadistic than you ever were roaming the land, killing everything that crossed its path, gaining more power through their souls. Now imagine that same beast with complete access to both mine and the Soul Edge's power."**

Nightmare suddenly got the urge to crawl under a rock and die somewhere.

_"I really did choose the wrong host."_ he muttered._"Wait, you said that it holds the kid's worst memories. Are you telling me he's gone through things worse than being burned alive?"_

**"Yes. In fact, most of that event and how it unfolded is hidden behind that door. Naruto only remembers being burned because that was the last thing to happen to him. It didn't go in because...that room is full."**

Nightmare's eyes widened. _"Please tell me you're shitting me."_

Kyuubi shook her head sadly. **"That room was created when he was four, just after he slaughtered a mob of villagers to keep them from throwing him over a cliff. When it was finished all of his worst memories were filed away. And, over the span of just two years, that room was filled to the brim. The only way to fit more in there would be to make the room bigger. And the only way to do that is to open the door.**

**If it is opened, every memory behind it will rush out and re-insert itself in Naruto's mind. His mind won't survive the opening of the door, let alone be able to expand the room.**

**I also think that some of my memories went into the room with his. It's the only explanation that I can think of for the fuzziness of my memory regarding the death of my family. I only remember bits and pieces of the event. It's like a badly recorded tape; it just keeps going from one random point to another, skipping everything in between. It's just enough to give me a good outline of what happened, but not the exact details."**

_"Just how fucked up is this kid?"_ Nightmare pointed at the still sleeping Naruto.

Kyuubi smiled, but it held no mirth, only sadness. **"Very...Probably moreso than either of us think."**

Meanwhile Naruto continued to twitch in his sleep, letting off inaudible whimpers, like an abused puppy.

Neo-Nightmare's creation had indeed unlocked some of Naruto's memories.

(Memory)

A five year old Naruto sat in his chair at the ninja academy. The Third Hokage had deemed him worthy of participating at such a young age; two years short of the normal admission age of seven. He had shown incredible potential with his quick learning, unreal stamina, and his demon-given healing ability. These things gave Naruto the ability to train three times as long as any normal child and learn twice as much from it.

But that had all but ended once he set foot into the academy. On his first day he was assaulted by his classmates, whose parents had seen Naruto walk into the building and told their children to do all they could to get rid of him.

This included framing him for all kinds of acts. Such as the theft and incineration of the instructor's textbook; the assault of the class fat kid, Kyojo; threatening the lives of his classmates' families; and anything else the kids could think up.

Some things were just too outlandish for even the most senile old man to believe, yet Naruto was still punished by the instructors.

The memory flashed to Naruto being used as a living target for some of the older students, who were told the specifically aim for him instead of just making him dodge the projectiles.

The memory flashed again to Naruto being forced to recite the Ninja Guidelines while balancing three fifteen pound text books on his head. This wasn't an uncommon punishment for normal students, but Naruto had done nothing wrong. He had just answered a question the teacher had asked and had mispronounced the word "ambidextrous".

But, this being Naruto, it wasn't a normal punishment by any means. The normal weight for the books was five pounds each, giving them a total weight of fifteen pounds; Naruto's load was forty-five pounds. The students were also allowed, and encouraged, to throw objects at Naruto, most aiming for his head or his balls. And the guidelines Naruto had to recite? The ANBU Guidelines, something that most Jōnin didn't even know.

When the instructors saw that Naruto was actually doing well, they intentionally made him fail at his task, dropping a pencil behind his foot and making him slip. He was then punted out of the door like a football.

When asked why they did it, the instructors replied, "That's what happens in the real world. You fail, you get hurt! Besides, the little cretin deserves it."

The memory flashed again, showing a beautiful woman in her early twenties smiling down at him. When she reached for him, Naruto flinch violently and braced himself for the beating he was sure was to follow. But all the woman did was ruffle his hair and ask if he was hungry.

But Naruto knew better than to answer that question. The last time someone had asked him that, he was given a "knuckle sandwich" by some fat guy in red, samurai-like armor.

But this lady was different, she was nice to him.

"What's your name? I'm Yuki!"

"U-U-Uzumaki N-Naruto..." he was hesitant, as he'd had encounters with people who didn't know his name, but beat on him after they found out.

"Well then, Naru-chan, let's get you something to eat!" she grabbed his hand and dragged him off to a place called "Ichiraku's Ramen".

The memory then flashed again, showing Yuki with an evil smirk on her face. She held a large butcher knife and was slowly stalking towards Naruto, who was cowering in a corner.

"P-please...stop..." Naruto could tell that it was actually a low level transformation illusion, but, just because it looked like his only friend, he unable to fight back and harm his assailant.

"No, demon, I won't stop. You didn't stop when you crushed my nee-san four years ago!" the woman raised the knife and brought it down on Naruto again and again.

She stabbed the poor boy until she was unable to move her own arm, and Naruto looked like he had just lost a two-on-one fight against a lawnmower and a chainsaw. She glared at Naruto with pure, unrefined hatred. Throughout the entire process the demon hadn't once cried out in pain!

"You truly are the demon...You don't even feel pain, do you? You probably like it!" she started to stab what was left of Naruto with her still functional left arm.

After another five minutes, and over two-hundred stabs, the woman was dead tired. But she was still enraged. The demon had still not cried out! She never took into account the fact that she had slashed his throat to keep him from alerting any of the ANBU guards the Hokage had assigned to watch over Naruto. Not that they'd try to stop her if they were alerted.

She noticed that Naruto was still breathing, though it was labored, wheezing breaths. Tendrils of crimson chakra lined the gnarled gash in Naruto's throat, redirecting oxygen to its proper place.

"Damned demon, just won't die!" the woman hissed, seeming to forget about demons being immortal.

She went to gouge Naruto's eyes out, but she was stopped by said eyes suddenly snapping open and fixing her with their crimson glare.

A strong chakra pulse went out, breaking the Genjutsu that hid the woman, revealing her to be a woman in her late forties. Naruto's body suddenly jerked to life and he opened his mouth as wide as he could, then latched onto the woman's neck with his newly grown fangs.

The woman only managed a strangling, gurgling moan before Naruto violently jerked his head back, taking a chunk of the woman's windpipe with him. More blood mingled with the multiple gallons of it already staining the floor and walls.

The woman clawed at the hole in her neck, trying to stop the bleeding but only succeeding in making the gash bigger. Eventually she lost too much blood, and all strength drained from her before she went silent and limp.

Naruto chewed on the piece of flesh for a second before swallowing it and licking his lips. He stared hungrily at the still warm corpse of his would-be murderer. He was so hungry, and had been for a long time. The people at the orphanage didn't feed him often, twice a week at most. And when he was fed his food was always rotten and spoiled, sometimes years beyond its expiration date. He had even seen the large chest they had made specially for his food. They had to wear gasmasks just to get near the damned thing!

This was a new record for Naruto. He'd now gone three weeks without food. He saw the body, smelled the stench of blood and the waste that was released when the woman died. But he didn't care; all he knew was that he was hungry, and something edible was in front of him.

And so he pounced on the corpse and began to feed like a rabid wolf. He tore into the dead woman's intestines with savage vigor, devouring the warm flesh. He flayed the skin from the corpse's arms and back, chewing on it like jerky.

He ate her flesh, drank her blood, and even sucked the marrow from her bones. Naruto was gone; the blonde boy didn't exist at the moment. All the remained was a being akin to a wild animal. All that remained was anger, bloodlust, hunger and the raw will to survive by any means necessary.

After he had eaten his fill, Naruto flung his head back and unleashed an inhuman roar. A sound that no natural being should be able to produce, let alone a four year old child.

The memory flashed again, but Naruto could make nothing out. He couldn't control his own body and his limbs seemed to thrash about on their own. His eyes wouldn't focus and his ears heard only the sound of his own cries.

"Naruto..."

He instantly stopped his crying and turned his head to look at the person who had addressed him. But all he could make out was a red and white blob with specks of blue.

"...I love you, Naruto...I'll always love you."

That marked the first and last time in Naruto's life that he was ever truly happy.

The memory flashed again, then everything went black.

(Underground Chamber)

Naruto's eyes snapped open and he jumped to his feet.

"...Mother..." Naruto panted/growled. "...Lies...All lies..." he hissed to himself.

He looked around the chamber, which was still well lit by his fireball, and saw that his companions were asleep. His internal clock told him it was just after sundown on the surface. He had a feeling things would only get worse with the sky now darkened.

He contemplated waking the others up, but decided against it. They needed their rest to replenish their reserves and heal their fatigued bodies.

Naruto felt something brush up against his leg and looked down to find Seizonsha looking up at him.

"Are you alright Onii-san?" the kit questioned.

Naruto knelt down and allowed the little fox to jump onto his shoulder, then scratched her behind her right ear.

"I'm fine, Sei-chan. I...lost control for a moment...that's all."

Seizonsha looked hesitant for a second, but decided to trust her surrogate brother's words. After all, he had no reason to lie to her, right?

Naruto sat down once again after a quick scan of the area. He needed to train his chakra control. It was something he'd been taught by Kyuubi; after he'd gained a tail his chakra control would be thrown out of whack. Not severely, but enough to be an annoyance. Naruto couldn't have that. He wasn't the strongest, and he knew that, so he made it a point to perfect what skills he did have at every opportunity.

Naruto never simply did nothing. When he was still, he was either meditating or talking to Kyuubi and/or Nightmare. With his weights it was possible for him to train just by walking, which was the reason he only used the Shadow Walk when he wanted to get somewhere fast and without being followed. He also got his kicks from his assigned ANBU guards' frantic attempts at locating him.

Naruto sat cross-legged on a rock, hands on his knees with his palms upturned. He created a Rasengan in each hand and focused on them with every cell in his body. He had managed to break down the Rasengan to the point where he found that it was basically a ball of billions upon billions of chakra strings. Each and every one of them moving in a different direction, kept stable and contained by a shield of chakra.

What Naruto wanted to do was find every single string, figure out which way it was traveling, and reverse its path. This required the focus and patience of a life-long monk; something Naruto was NOT known for. But, even though Naruto failed at every attempt, he was rewarded for his effort by an almost ridiculous rise in his chakra control. Doing this exercise for five minutes, and finding sixteen-million strings and reversing them, was the equivalent of doing the leaf floating, kunai balancing, water meditation, and tree walking exercises combined for nine hours.(1)

But this was an extremely delicate process. If Naruto lost his concentration, even a little, while reversing a chakra string, he had a bomb with the explosive force of twenty exploding tags about two feet from his face. He'd survive, but he'd be in a universe of pain, and would probably be missing close to half his body.

But he was finding it hard to concentrate and had to dispel the orbs. He couldn't forget about the memories.

"Yuki...where are you?" he asked to the empty air, almost longing for a reply.

Two years after that incident Yuki was driven out of Konoha by the villagers. But her parents refused to leave, and were almost lynched for being "demon lovers". But they had revealed their real plan to use their daughter to get Naruto into their grasp, then had him over to the others.

No one would ever tell Naruto what happened to Yuki, or where she went. He'd catch little tid-bits of conversations concerning the woman, but someone would usually spot him eavesdropping and chase him off before he could get any valuable information. So far he had only managed to get things like "I'm glad that demon loving whore was finally sent to where she belongs!" and "Yeah, now that she's not around, we're that much safer from the demon."

Words like these would make most people assume the worst. But Naruto, being the young, naive, and optimistic boy he was, assumed that the "Bad People" had simply run Yuki out of town and that she was fine.

But now...

"I don't know what to think anymore...I don't know what to believe, or who to trust..." Naruto hung his head. "Why? Why was I chosen for this? To live this kind of life? Why, father, why did you choose me as the sacrifice?" a bit of the little boy deep inside of him began to surface.

"Yondaime...I refuse to call you my father. You condemned your own son to a life of hell. Well, I'll show you just what you've done. I'll show you your mistake." that little boy was then brutally stomped and strangled, then thrown into the deepest, darkest pit within Naruto's mind.

Naruto seethed as his infamous rage began to slowly consume him. "You hear me, bastard? I'll show you your error by destroying what you worked so hard to protect. I'll destroy that which you threw away my life to save. Konoha will fall by my hands...Mark my words, _'father'_, this Konoha will fall, and from its ashes a new one will arise."(2)

_"I love you, Naruto...I'll always love you..."_ his mother's words echoed in his head.

"Mother...you lied to me...I will enjoy tearing you limb from limb and devouring you...both body and soul."

(Whirlpool)

Kushina tossed and turned in her sleep. Her dreams were always terrible, but the one she was currently having was the worst in years.

_"Mother..."_ a ghostly voice called to her.

'Who are you?' she mentally asked.

_"You lied to me..." _the voice hissed.

'What? I don't lie, and I pride myself on that fact!' Kushina protested.

_"I will enjoy tearing you limb from limb..."_ the voice held a sadistic and deadly edge.

'Who the hell are you?' Kushina mentally exclaimed. Who was this disembodied voice to threaten her?

_"And devouring you..."_ the voice seemed to ignore her.

"No..." the red-headed woman moaned in her sleep.

_"Both body and soul..."_ the voice faded from Kushina's mind, but its words still remained as faint whispers repeating themselves over and over again.

"NO!" Kushina bolted upright in her bed, cold sweat running down her body to the sheets.

"Mother?" Kagimi's voice called frantically from outside of Kushina's bedroom door.

There was a loud bang and the door flew off its hinges as Houshima came barreling into the room, scythe in hand. He was followed by his siblings, Kagimi and Kuishiro.

"Is everything alright, Mother?" Kuishiro asked after scanning the room and finding nothing out of the ordinary.

Kushina panted and nodded. "Yes...Everything's...fine...just a...bad dream..."

The white haired boy nodded slowly, hesitant to leave his mother alone until a more thorough check was conducted. He always was the "worrywart" of the group, as dubbed by his sister. Though, on a subconscious level, he just really wanted to fry something/someone.

Houshima, on the other hand, seemed satisfied with the answer. His scythe could sense souls and it told him nothing was in the room, or even near the mansion, that was of any worry. Besides, their mother was stronger than they were, so what could they handle that she couldn't? Other than that, he just really wanted to get back to sleep. In fact, the only reason he had allowed himself to be dragged out of bed was because he loved breaking down doors for some odd reason.

Kagimi, even though she didn't like to admit it, was even more worried about her mother than Kuishiro. She was always overprotective of Kushina, even in her younger days. Whenever her mother had a male suitor, or the occasional female, she'd go to work. She'd set the "intruder's" clothes on fire, put them under Genjutsu, take their house keys and throw them out the window, and all sorts of other things that would make someone want to leave. But when she got older, and stronger, she'd be a bit more direct in showing her aversion to strangers; either openly attacking them, or summoning something to do it for her.

"I'm fine, really. It was just a nightmare." Kushina reassured her children, who nodded and went back to their rooms.

The woman swung her shapely legs over the side of her king-sized bed and sighed heavily. She grabbed her robe from one of the posts of the bed and walked over to the huge window that overlooked the village.

'Was it the demon again?' she thought.

For years she'd been getting messages in her sleep, but none as threatening as the one she'd just received. Usually the voice was that of a young child, calling out for help.

_"Help me! Someone...anyone...please...make them stop...I didn't do anything to anyone...so...why? Please...HELP ME!"_ the voice would then scream in agony before going silent.

The voice had almost gotten Kushina to search for it more than once, but then she figured out it must have been the demon that now possessed the body of her deceased son. It was trying to lure her to Konoha so it could take a measure of revenge on the Yondaime by killing his widow. This latest message only confirmed her suspicions. At least in her twisted mind it did.

'I don't know what you're up to, demon, but I won't fall for it. You want me in Konoha? I'll be there soon enough...and I'll be bringing your executioners.' she narrowed her eyes in the direction of Konoha.

(Underground Chamber)

Naruto was still off in his own little world, not noticing that Zabuza had been awake from the moment the boy had moved.

'Holy shit, what kind of psycho did we sign up with?' the swordsman thought.

"Zabuza...it's no use pretending to be asleep." Naruto's monotone voice called out.

Zabuza sighed and sat up. "Yeah, what do you want?"

"...How much did you hear?" Naruto questioned.

"Well I-"

"HOW much did you hear?" Naruto's tone changed from casual and bored, to commanding and firm, leaving no room for excuses or argument.

"I heard everything. What's up with you and your folks?" Zabuza stood and walked over to Naruto, then took a seat beside him.

"My father sacrificed me for the good of the village, killing himself in the process. He placed a..._burden_ on me that I will have to carry for the rest of my life, along with the hatred of this village. And my mother...she abandoned me because of my..._burden_."

"You mean your demon?" Zabuza asked lazily, then suddenly found a sword to his throat.

"How do you know about _that_?" Naruto hissed.

"It's kind of obvious for anyone who's observant enough. I've seen something like what happened in the streets earlier today when I was passing through Kumogakure no Sato. It was a little girl, probably around seven, being tossed out of a restaurant. The guy that did it started cursing up a storm, then spit on the girl and tried to kick her in the ribs..."

"'Tried'?" Naruto asked, decreasing the pressure on the sword at the man's neck.

"He would have done it if I hadn't cut his leg off." Zabuza grinned. "No one ever saw me do it, so they just assumed that the girl had. They started screaming for ANBU to come and kill her. Some called her a demon, among other things, and she ran. But a mob of villagers, and some drunk shinobi, followed her, and I followed them. They eventually cornered her in an alleyway and moved in for the kill, but I dropped down between them..."

(Flashback)

A mob of angry villagers and ninja alike was assembled in a narrow alleyway, blocking it off from the outside. They held torches and all forms of weaponry; from pitchforks and hand scythes, to katanas and kunai. They screamed obscenities at something that they had trapped between themselves and a thirty foot brick wall: a little, blonde-haired girl.

Said girl looked at the mob with intense fear in her small, cat-like eyes. But their was no surprise in those eyes. No understanding, either, but no real surprise. It was almost as if she was used to this kind of thing.

Just as the mob closed in, something dropped in front of them. At first the mob backed off, thinking that it was the Sandaime Raikage, who seemed to have a soft spot for the little demoness. But all they saw was a tall man with short black hair, a sleeveless shirt, arm warmers, bandages hiding the lower half of his face, and a huge zanbatō on his shoulder.

"What's going on here?" Zabuza asked casually, even though he knew exactly what was happening.

"Nothing, sir, just move along and let us correct a mistake we made seven years ago." a Jōnin stepped forward.

The Kumo ninja knew exactly who he was talking to, but he didn't want to alert anyone, as word would undoubtedly get to the Raikage. The bastard would probably kill everyone in the alley just for the hell of it. All except his "precious daughter".

Zabuza knew this man knew who he was, but, for some reason, was looking to avoid confrontation. Zabuza knew he was blowing a free pass, but he couldn't let these people kill an innocent child. He was sure she was innocent. If she was dangerous enough to warrant this many people after her, then she would have defended herself earlier instead of running. And if that was the case, then he doubted that the restaurant owner would have had the balls to attack her by himself.

To Zabuza, it looked like these people were looking for a simple punching bag, and perhaps a lynching. But seriously, that's why there's normally a Town Jackass. But, then again, that guy was probably in the mob.

"No, I think something _is_ going on here. I think you were going to try and kill this innocent little girl behind me. And I can't just sit back and let that happen."

The Jōnin narrowed his eyes and snorted. "'Innocent'? That thing?" he pointed to the girl, who seemed to be trying to sink into the wall. "That demoness is far from innocent. She's used her evil powers to control the bodies of our deceased and use them to get what she wants. In fact, my wife tried to kill me just last week!"

"So? If I was stuck with you, I'd try to kill you, too." Zabuza shrugged, causing some to sweatdrop and others to nod in agreement, causing even more sweatdrops. This guy was probably the Town Jackass.

"My wife's been dead for seven years! How do you explain that?"

"Maybe she didn't understand 'Until death do us part'?" Zabuza shrugged again.

This enraged the Jōnin and he took out a fuuma shuriken. "Fine, you want to protect the Nibi? Then you'll die with it!" he charged at the nuke-nin.

Zabuza just scratched his head. '"Nibi"? As is "Nibi no Nekomata"?' he looked behind his shoulder for a split second. 'How can she be the Two-tailed Cat Demon?'

Deciding that now was not the time to think about it, Zabuza just shrugged it off and ducked under the Cloud Jōnin's attack.

A foolish Chūnin in the mob threw a kunai at Zabuza, who caught it and used it to slice the Jōnin's throat before throwing the kunai back at its owner. The Chūnin dropped to the ground, the sharp chunk of metal lodged up to the hilt in his left eye.

Zabuza grabbed the Kubikribōchō with both hands and swung it forward before letting go, turning the massive sword into an equally deadly projectile.

Two-thirds of the mob, around a hundred people, were killed as the spinning sword cut off heads and other body parts. The survivors ran for their lives before the sword returned to its owners hands, most likely to call the ANBU.

Zabuza didn't much care at the time, so he just turned to the girl behind him.

"Hey, what's your name, kid?" he asked, kneeling down to eye-level with the child.

"N-N-Nii Y-Yugito." the little girl had a terrible stutter, whether it was from fear or it was always like that, Zabuza didn't know.

"Well, Yugito-chan, you'd better get home. Some very bad people are coming this way. I'll lead them away while you escape, deal?"

The girl nodded hesitantly. "D-Deal."

Zabuza smirked, then took to the rooftops.

Yugito looked up and saw four black blurs go off in the same direction. Knowing that those were the "bad people" her savior was talking about, little Yugito ran home to the Raikage's tower in the center of the village, making sure to stick to the shadows.

(End Flashback)

"...And that's why I'm also wanted in Kumo. And how I know that you're a Jinchuuriki, just like her."

Naruto merely nodded, satisfied with the man's answer for the moment.

Zabuza studied Naruto for a few minutes, rubbing his chin and "hmm"ing.

"You carry the Kyuubi no Kitsune, right? The Nine-tailed Fox that attacked Konoha twelve years ago?" Zabuza suddenly asked.

Naruto's head snapped up and his hand went for his blade again.

But Zabuza put his hands up in the universal sign for surrender, then pointed at Seizonsha. "The fox tipped me off. I knew you were a Jinchuuriki, but I didn't know what kind you were."

Naruto cocked his head to the side. "What to you mean by 'kind'?"

"You didn't know about them? There are rankings for Jinchuuriki, just like there are for shinobi. Those who carry minor demons are simply called 'Carriers'. This is because their demons don't have the power to really give them any advantages. But every once in a while the demons will unleash a burst of power to try and get out. This causes minor transformations and deformities in their carriers, and causes strange illnesses to others, making them more like a virus. Hence the name 'Carrier'.

The next class carries mid-level demons and the occasional spirit being. They are called 'Splitters' because their demons often manifest themselves as alter egos or false consciences. They actually do gain powers from their demons, but nothing major. The best I've heard of was this girl about twenty years ago that was able to float without the use of chakra for a limited amount of time. Downside to this is that mid-level demons are often underestimated, so the seals used to hold them are weaker than they should be. So they often break free and kill the host, or take over their bodies to wreak havoc.

The most powerful class is the one you're a part of. The Jinchuuriki or 'Power of Human Sacrifice'. They hold higher demons or, in your case, demon lords. They are usually easy to spot because of their unnaturally high chakra reserves and the physical traits that they always get from their demons. That little girl had cat-like eyes and, from what I saw, natural night-vision and abnormal reflexes. Most of the time the traits are in the eyes, but since I can't see yours I can only assume they're slitted, like a fox's. They also have a special bond with certain animals, like you and the fox."

Naruto just sat there, stunned at what he had just learned. "How do you know all of this?"

Zabuza shrugged. "You don't travel through all of the elemental countries, like I have, and not learn anything. Plus one of my buds from the Seven Swordsmen was a Jinchuuriki. But he found a way to separate his demon's power from its soul. He kept the chakra and sealed the demon's soul into his sword. If you ever have to fight a man named Hoshigaki Kisame, watch out for his sword, the Samehada. The demon's soul within it wants its chakra back, so it steals the chakra from whatever it touches. And it doesn't cut, it 'shaves'. He swings that thing more like a bat than a sword, but he'll literally take your face off if you let your guard down."

Naruto nodded. "I think fighting him will be inevitable, since he joined an organization called 'Akatsuki' a few years ago."

Zabuza's eyes narrowed. "So, that's why he suddenly disappeared."

"They're looking for all of the tailed demon lords for some reason, probably to take their power for themselves and rule the world, or something like that. From what Kyuubi's told me, most of the higher demons, and the other tailed lords, have gone into hiding. Some have even sealed themselves into human hosts to hide their chakra."

Zabuza's eyes widened. "You can talk to the Kyuubi?"

"Shh, not so loud you imbecile! Yes, I can talk to her."

"'HER'?" Zabuza all but screamed.

Naruto clapped his hand over the man's mouth. "If you don't stop doing that, so help me Kami..." he let the threat hang.

Zabuza just nodded. "So...is she hot?"

Naruto just sweatdropped, then smacked the former missing-nin across the face...Hard.

"What the hell?"

"Kyuubi says, 'Be thankful I don't make Naruto tear off your manhood, shove it up your ass, then make you eat it.'..." Naruto slowly tilted his head until it was almost perfectly level with his shoulder.

Zabuza cringed in fear and held his "family jewels" in phantom pain.

"Point made..." Zabuza's expression turned serious. "So, if you can talk to her, then a presume she's been teaching you as well?"

Naruto nodded. "How astute of you." he muttered, not liking the fact that a man that he had met less than three weeks ago knew so much about him.

"So that's where you got that 'Flame of Zarathos' thing from?"

Naruto shook his head. "That was actually the first technique I created myself. Kyuubi used to tell me stories of her adventures, and misadventures, when I was younger. She told me about another demon lord she had worked alongside during her time as a Fire Spirit. His name was Zarathos, and he was second in command to the Boss Fire Spirit, Pyroxees(Py-rock-sees). He used both normal fire and hellfire in his attacks. I couldn't use hellfire at the time, so I just used White Fire."

"'White Fire'?"

"Yes, it's pretty much fire that has had its temperature increased dramatically via chakra charging."

Zabuza nodded. "Have you created any other techniques?"

Naruto simply nodded. "Yes, but I won't tell you what they are. You've already seen three of them."

"Which ones?"

"The Rasen Shottogan, the Dragon Splitter, and the Shadow Virus."

"'Rasen Shottogan'...That wouldn't happen to be a variation of the Yondaime's prized technique, would it?"

Naruto looked at the older man. "Yes, it is. I mastered the normal Rasengan in two days, then I moved on to possible variants. A more powerful Rasengan was the first logical step, but it has proved to be harder than I first thought. So far I've made three variants, and I'm in the process of making two more."

Zabuza sweatdropped. "Just what kind of monster are you? Do you train twenty-four seven or something?" Naruto didn't reply, he just looked at the swordsman. "...You do, don't you?" Zabuza just shook his head.

"Should we wake them up and continue on?" Naruto suddenly asked after five minutes of silence.

Zabuza raised a non-existent eyebrow. "Why are you asking me? You're the boss."

"That may be so, but I'm not going to endanger your lives if you aren't ready for what's to come yet. If you need more time, just say so."

"Well...I'm good to go, but I don't know about the others." Zabuza looked back at Haku, Chigusa, and Kiriko.

Naruto also looked back, checking on them as well as Kurohane and Seizonsha, who had fallen asleep at some point.

"I'll give them another four hours, then we move." Naruto said. "Until then, do whatever you want, just stay in this chamber or the spike pit. I have Darkness Clones watching the entrance to the next chamber, so they'll alert me if we have any unwelcome visitors."

Zabuza nodded and set about exploring the large cavern, looking for something to occupy himself for the next four hours.

XXXX

And chapter eighteen has come to an end.

Again, sorry to all of you that were expecting some action. I'll try to put some in the next chapter, but I make no promises.

Expect some major twists and turns in the future, this was only a glimpse of what's to come. I'll try to introduce at least four new characters next chapter, I just have to decide which ones. I know I'll be introducing two canon characters and two OC's, but there may be more, or there may be less. It all depends on what I have planned for that character and how I feel while I writing it.

Oh, and please don't leave reviews that are less than four words long. There's no point in reading them if it just says "Awesome!". I appreciate the compliment, but at least use a complete sentence. If you find flaws in the story, by all means point them out. Don't take it as far as flaming though, because I will tear into you like a fat kid with a pie.

And don't leave reviews describing your little pet-peeves with my story, I don't want to hear it. I got one review where the guy said he was going to stop reading because of the Naru/Hina pairing, which it isn't, it's Naru/HAREM! And I got another where the guy had a problem with that too. Something against polygamy is my guess. No man, except maybe a gay one, has any right to complain about it. You know damn well if you could marry five hot chicks without any consequences you'd do it in a heartbeat.

If you don't understand something, that's fine, I'll reply and clear it up as best I can. But if you just flat-out don't like something, keep it to yourself. Most of you have been doing that, but there are a few...

I guess that counted as a rant, but again whatever.

(1) That would be floating a leaf above your foot while balancing on the tip of a kunai with your finger, while balancing the end of the kunai on a small twig_(think toothpick small)_, and making it so the twig can support your weight on the water, all while in a trance-like state. Yeah...I know.

(2) A bit of foreshadowing, perhaps?

Jason Out!


	19. The Four Trials

Hello everyone!

I'm sorry, but there won't be much action in this chapter either. I have a fight scene written out, but I would need to increase the length of this chapter. I'll trying to keep these under ten-thousand words at the most.

I've also been replacing my earlier chapters with new, updated ones. My old editor was lazier than I was, couldn't spell worth shit, and missed way too many obvious errors. So now I've decided to edit the chapters myself.

This chapter will be mainly about introducing some new characters and giving them some CD(Character Development)time.

Enjoy chapter nineteen, folks!

XXXX

(Hokage's Office)

Sarutobi was pacing around his office frantically. He had been watching Naruto with his crystal ball ever since he had left, but had lost track of him after he had entered the Namikaze Compound's gates, just like the last time. The Third knew that Minato had put up a barrier seal around the compound to keep out unwanted guests, but assumed it would let Naruto in because of him being a blood relation. The barrier also blocked everything within it from the all-seeing eye that was Sarutobi's crystal ball.

The subject of the Namikaze compound had been a touchy one, at best, in meetings with the Council. So much so that no one had even spoken of the place in over seven years. This caused many to forget about it, and the people that used to live their. It was common knowledge that no one lived in the compound, but a select few knew that people still resided there, they just didn't _live_ there.

But this little factoid had slipped the old man's mind and had been replaced by possible ways to avoid conflict with Naruto in his enraged state. He never did get the chance to tell the boy about the various traps and seals that covered almost every inch of the compound. Or the horrifying creatures that dwelled beneath it.

Now the Sandaime's mind was wracked with indecision. Should he send ANBU after the boy to make sure he was alright? It would be something of a moot point, as the boy and some of his companions were stronger than many of the ANBU. Plus doing this would nullify any form of secrecy about the local "demon's" new dwelling. ANBU may have been masters of silence, trained to beat almost any form of interrogation without giving up any kind of information. But, as with most people, that was only the case when they were sober. Which, when off duty, was something they often weren't.

Eventually the aged Fire Shadow came to a decision. There would be no point in sending people after Naruto. It would cause more problems than anything. And if the ANBU happened to be killed by the _residents_ of the clan home, the Council would no doubt use their deaths as ammunition in their fight to end Naruto's life.

Those bastards were always plotting against the boy. If he so much as looked at a villager in, what they deemed, the "wrong way", all he would hear would be something along the lines of: "He's plotting revenge as we speak! The demon is going to kill another innocent and you're just going to sit there and let it happen!" some random jerk would scream out, getting nods from most of the Council.

The Sandaime would then say: "You have no proof to back up your accusations." in a bored tone, as he'd heard all of this at least twice every week for the passed twelve years.

Another Council member would pipe up: "We have video proof of the demon in action! Taking his so called "revenge" on an innocent shop owner!"

Some random ninja would press a button and a huge projector screen would fall from the ceiling. A tape would start of a security camera catching "Naruto" killing a merchant for, seemingly, no reason at all.

The tape would end and a Council member would sit there with a smug smirk on his/her face: "How do you explain that, _Hokage-sama_?"

Sarutobi would sigh: "First of all, mind your tone and remember who you're talking to. Second, this video is clearly a fake, as is the 'Naruto' in it."

Another random Council member: "What? How can you say that? This video is as real as you or I! You can deny it all you want, but your demon has killed yet another innocent, and here is our proof! He must die!"

Murmurs of agreement from most of the Council and more smug smiles from the head "Naruto Haters".

"First of all; the man that was 'killed' in this video came into my office yesterday, claiming that he was assaulted by Naruto. The date on the security video says it was taken last Monday. Naruto was on a mission with his team that entire week. The 'Naruto' in this video is wearing the wrong outfit as well. His cloak in this video is dark blue, the real Naruto's his jet black. Plus, it moves like it has a mind of its own. Second: his mask is missing the Konoha symbol between the eyes and the Darkness kanji on the forehead.

That, and the fact that 'Naruto' busted the door down and beat the man to 'death', when he would really just come out of the wall and cut his head off, leads me to believe that you have faked this entire video. And poorly, I might add. You see where 'Naruto' knocks the man down and begins to punch him in the face? This video loops about twenty times, showing that it's all spliced together and that the man was only hit a few times, and not all that hard either.

But do you know where you made your biggest mistake? Here, at the end of the video. 'Naruto' loots the cash register, then looks directly at the camera and flips it off before leaving. Not bothering to destroy the camera or get rid of the evidence of his crime. Naruto would never rob someone just for the sake of doing it. And he doesn't take money, he takes weapons or anything else of combat value. He only takes things he can use. This was a weapon store and he didn't take a single thing? Quite suspicious.

And I know for a fact that the camera in this store records sound, but there's no sound in this video. Something you didn't want me to hear? Bad voice imitation, perhaps? Or maybe the assailant' asking if he was hitting too hard?" and that was it, Sarutobi would win, just as he always did when the Council tried something stupid.

Then he'd threaten them with capital punishment if they ever tried to frame a shinobi of Konohagakure, and they'd stop...for about a week.

It never happened any differently. Given, there were those that weren't against Naruto, but wouldn't stick their neck out for him either. But most of the council hated the boy with an almost fanatical passion. Then there were those who were completely indifferent to Naruto. They didn't raise a hand against or for him, they just wanted to carry on with their lives and get back to simply ignoring the demon carrier.

This wasn't good for Naruto at all. Half of the Council hated him, and the other half didn't care one way or the other. If it ever came to a life-of-death trial, half of the Council would call for death in a nanosecond, the other half would call for death just so the others would shut up about him.

"Nothing's ever simple when it involves Naruto." the Sandaime sighed heavily before collapsing into his ridiculously comfortable chair.

After about five minutes an idea hit him. "Wait, there are some people I can trust." he grinned and leaned forward to press the button on the com. link with his secretary. "Mihoshi-san, please send for ANBU Squad Eighteen and Tokubetsu Jōnin, Mitarashi Anko. Tell them that it's urgent, please."

A female voice answered from the small box. "Right away, Hokage-sama."

Sarutobi leaned back in his chair and propped his feet up on his desk. He looked over to the group of Shadow Clones that were currently doing his paperwork. "Who's the man?"

"You are, sir!" the ten clones chorused.

(Kumogakure no Sato)

Two Chūnin guards stood atop Kumo's northern gate, both grumbling about working the graveyard shift.

"This blows." one guard said.

The other nodded. "Yeah, but at least we get better pay than the day guards."

The first guard nodded as well. "You've got a point, but at least those guys get some occasional action! Enemy ninja, wild animals, sometimes even nuke-nin! What do we get? Mosquitoes, moths and bats. You'd think there's be an owl around here somewhere, but no, the bats ate 'em all!"

This was something that Kumo was famous, or infamous, for; their giant bats. These huge beasts, with wingspans over ten feet, flew around at all times of night, eating anything they could carry away. This included the population of owls and deer, even the occasional human.(1)

"Yeah, I'll give you that. You know what we need? We need a good brawl. You know, something to really get the blood flowing."

"You should be careful of what you wish for." a sinister hiss sounded behind the guards.

Both whirled around, only for the first to be beheaded and the second to be crushed and swallowed whole by a giant python.

A possessed Orochimaru grinned sadistically down at the Village Hidden in the Clouds.

_**'Excellent, it is time for the next phase of Lord Arcarian's plan to begin.'**_

(Flashback)

Shizaru kneeled in front of Arcarian's prison.

_**"You wished to see me, Master?"**_

The runes on the rock glowed brightly. _**"Yes, I called you here to tell you to begin phase four."**_

_**"What is phase four, Master?"**_

_**"There are old warriors that I would like to add to my army. Long dead warriors. Despite all of my power, I do not have the ability to raise the dead. For that I need my brother's little pet, the Nibi. She has the power to raise the deceased from their graves."**_

_**"But Master, isn't the Nibi no Nekomata sealed into a human?"**_

_**"Yes, what's your point? Kyuubi is also sealed into a human...or at least she was, but that didn't stop me from using her, now did it?"**_

Shizaru didn't like the tone of his master's voice, so, fearing that he had somehow angered the fallen God, he became even more submissive.

_**"Forgive me, Master, I did not mean to doubt you. What do you wish of me?"**_

_**"I want you to take that wretched human snake's body and cause trouble in the village known as Kumogakure no Sato."**_

_**"Why, if I may be so bold, do you want me to do that? What would it accomplish?"**_

_**"Don't be so closed minded, Shizaru. If Orochimaru attacks Kumo for no apparent reason, then Kumo will hate him, and most likely join up with any other village that hates him. And which village hates that human more than any other?"**_

_**"Konohagakure."**_

_**"Precisely! What I want is for the two Jinchuuriki to get together. As much as I hate to say it, I need them to fall in...**_**love**_** in order to make my plan much easier to accomplish. That way I can just make one of them come to me and the other will follow. Two birds with one stone, as the humans say."**_ the dark God spat the word "love" with special disdain.

_**"I thought you didn't tolerate...relationships amongst your servants?"**_

_**"As long as they keep doing what I tell them to, I don't give two flying shits about what they do with their personal lives. The only reason I forbade you from your relationship was because that woman was corrupting you. After you met her, you became more and more defiant with each passing day. And I couldn't have that, not with my right hand demon. You want another girlfriend, or whatever? Then go get one, I won't stop you, as long as it doesn't interfere with my plans."**_

Shizaru nodded. _**"Will that be all, Master?"**_

_**"For now, yes. Report back to me once you have accomplished your task."**_ Arcarian dismissed the Darkness manipulator.

Shizaru stood, bowed, then turned on his heel and walked out of the chamber without another word.

(Flashback End)

Now all he had to do was wait for the next few victims to show up. He briefly wondered if he should kill the one known as the Yondaime Raikage, but decided that he would only kill the man if he tried to fight him.

Shizaru/Orochimaru didn't have to wait long before a squad of Kumo ANBU showed up, swords drawn and ready to strike him down.

"Orochimaru, S-class Konohagakure nuke-nin, come with us or die." the apparent squad captain said.

He tried to be brave in front of his squad, but Shizaru could sense the fear and hesitation in his voice.

"Hmm...Let me think about it..." the possessed Orochimaru tapped his chin thoughtfully. "...How about...no." he then disappeared.

"What the hell? Where did...he...go...?" the ANBU Captain looked around, only to find his entire squad had been decapitated.

The snake-like man reappeared in his original spot, arms crossed and a superior smirk on his pale face.

"Now that you don't have to act all macho in front of your squad, feel free to scream and run."

The ANBU Captain growled and gripped his katana tighter, then charged forward. But he didn't get more than four feet before Orochimaru's tongue speared through his albatross mask and skull. Blood flowed down the man's mask like a crimson waterfall and his body convulsed in the throes of death.

The tongue lifted the dead shinobi ten feet into the air, then threw him into the village. Shizaru watched in sick satisfaction as he heard the screams of a woman as the dead body crashed through the roof of her home.

_**'I guess this thing is good for something after all.'**_ thought Shizaru, having never really understood Orochimaru's weird tongue abilities.

He then tallied his current body count. "Let's see. Those three Chūnin scouts outside the gates, the two Chūnin guards, and a squad of seven ANBU plus their captain. Thirteen, not a bad start." he bite his thumb then ran through a set of handseals before slamming his hand into the ground.

There was a gigantic puff of smoke as Shizaru completed his summon. Out of the cloud a huge, two-headed snake emerged to do its summoner's bidding.

**"What do you wisshhh of usss, Massster?"** one of the heads hissed. (2)

"We're going to wreak some havoc in this village. Just go in and destroy everything and everyone you see. Try to level about a fourth of the village, then you can leave. You take the Northern sector, I'll take the Southern."

**"Asss you wisshhh, Massster."** the second head hissed out as the first opened its huge maw and unleashed a torrent of flames at an incoming brigade of shinobi.

Shizaru smirked, this was the best part about his Dark Takeover technique; no one could tell the difference between the normal Orochimaru and the possessed Orochimaru. He had everything, the man's memories, abilities, blood type, voice, chakra pathways and reserves. Everything down to the last DNA strand was the same, Shizaru's technique altered nothing but the man's mind, unless he willed otherwise.

If he encountered a threat that Orochimaru's human body couldn't handle, then he would switch to his demonic abilities. But, for now, he could sense no one in the village stronger than his temporary host, so he was content with being little more than a mind controlling parasite.

Shizaru looked towards the Raikage's tower at the center of the village and frowned a bit.

_**'Hmm...I want a bit of a challenge at least...Maybe I will pay this "Raikage" a visit.'**_ but he needed to cause a lot more destruction before he could battle the Lightning Shadow.

As he made his way south, Shizaru cut down whoever got in his way with Orochimaru's Kusanagi. He would have used his claws, but then someone would know that it wasn't really Orochimaru attacking. Something like that could ruin his master's plan, as humans tended to have overactive imaginations. You never knew what a human would think up when left alone.

**'Swords...'** Shizaru thought. **'They're so...boring and mundane. So commonplace in the history of both the demon world and the human one. Everyone has a sword. Swords, swords, swords...'**

...Then again, you never knew what a demon would think up when he was bored.

Another man's head was separated from his body by the Oto-nin's blade. "What does this make? Forty? Fifty? I seem to have lost count...Oh well." the possessed shinobi just shrugged and continued his rampage.

In the Raikage's office, the Yondaime paced around frantically. He knew what he was expected to do when his village was threatened, but he didn't know if he could take a man like Orochimaru.

A lone Chūnin burst through the double doors to the Raikage's office, making the man jump and whirl around.

The Chūnin rolled his eyes mentally. 'Yep, this is why we're famous. Hoshigi Kyuuzou: The Cowardly Raikage.' "Raikage-sama! Orochimaru and one of his summons are attacking the village!"

The Fourth Raikage glared at the ninja. "Don't you think I can see that, Chūnin?" he hissed, pulling rank on his fellow shinobi.

'Yeah, I know you can see it, but what the fuck are you gonna do about it?' the Chūnin thought angrily. But on the outside he said, "Forgive me, sir, but what should we do about him?"

The Raikage rubbed his temples and began to grind his teeth together. "I don't know, I don't know, I don't FUCKING KNOW!" he screamed, smashing his hand down on his desk and sending it through the floor to the level below it.

It was then that the Chūnin remembered that the Raikage may have been a coward and a political figurehead, but he was still the strongest ninja in the village.

Kyuuzou sighed. 'Well, it's now or never. This is my chance to prove myself to my village. I'll prove them all wrong! I won't be a coward anymore, it's time for me to step up to the challenge!' chakra swirled around the man in the form of small bolts of lightning. "Orochimaru's gonna find out just why some of the most feared shinobi ever come from Kumo!" he cackled, completely ignoring the fact that none of the members of the organization known as Akatsuki were from Hidden Cloud.

The Chūnin just backed out of the room slowly, not wanting to bother the Yondaime while he was in "The Zone", as the man called his temporary, adrenaline-induced insanity.

Shizaru suddenly felt a strong surge of chakra coming from the center of the village and he grinned.

"So, the General will finally fight with his troops? Excellent." he set off the explosive tags he had set on the support beams of a row of homes, not bothering to watch them collapse, but reveling in the screams of the trapped families as they were slowly crushed under the rubble.

As he was about to head over to the tower, another large chakra signature spiked near his location, but this one felt different...inhuman.

_**'Ah, the Nibi's Jinchuuriki has come out to play, eh? Maybe she can entertain me until the Raikage arrives.'**_

Shizaru crossed his arms and waited, only killing those that got close enough to be dealt with by his blade, hands, or tongue.

(With Yugito)

It had been a normal day so far for Yugito Nii. The normal glares, curses, and miscellaneous objects thrown at her. But she knew something was going to happen today, something that was going to change her life dramatically...but if it was for the better or for the worst, she didn't know.

**"Don't be such a pessimist, Kitten! I know you usually don't have anything to look forrrwarrrd to, but you neverrr know what a new day will brrring!" **a feminine voice called out with a slight purr. (3)

'Since when were you an optimist, Nibi?' the teen thought to her demon.(4)

**"Honestly, I don't know. I just have a good feeling about today, like it's the starrrt of something grrreat. Monumental even!"**

'Question is; will it be good or bad for us?'

**"Well, you have to ask yourrrself: can it really get much worrrse than it already is?"**

Before the blonde could answer, an explosion rocked the village and a huge plume of black smoke billowed up from the southern sector.

'I think it just has. Do you think it's Akatsuki?' she thought fearfully.

**"I doubt they'd make themselves known like this. If it's just a distrrraction, you'd have been abducted alrrready...and I don't think any of them can summon a giant, two-headed snake."**

Yugito looked to the north and smacked her forehead. How had she missed something like that?

'Should we go a _greet_ our _guest_?'

Inside of the teen the cat demon grinned. **"But of courrrse, Kitten! We'd be rrrude hostess' if we didn't."**

With that Yugito grinned, then disappeared in a flash of lightning.

Shizaru was getting annoyed. The Jinchuuriki was taking much too long to engage him. Considering how close she was, she should have been there minutes ago.

"Screw this, I'll find the bitch myself." his muttered.

_**'Great, I'm starting to sound like that degenerate, Inferno.'**_

"Who are you calling a bitch, you child molester?" an enraged female voice roared from behind Shizaru.

The demon stiffened and slowly turn to glare at the woman. "What did you call me?" he hissed.

"I know who you are and what you do, Orochimaru...And I also know _who_ you do it to." Yugito smirked as she saw that her little barbs were working.

But, inside of her, Nibi was thinking along different lines. **'Hmm...why would he be offended by someone calling him on his perrrverrrsion? Come to think of it, something's wrrrong with his eyes...they arrren't the eyes of a man...They hold knowledge farrr beyond a human lifetime.' "Kitten, watch out, I don't think this is the man you think he is...I don't even think he's human at all." **she warned her vessel.

Yugito narrowed her eyes. "Who are you? You're not Orochimaru."

"Orochimaru's" eyes narrowed and turned jet black. _**'I do not want to go against Lord Arcarian's wishes, but maybe I can just kill the girl, extract the Nibi, and take her to him myself...'**_

The snake man growled and launched himself at Yugito, Kusanagi ready to strike her down.

Yugito's eyes widened and she rolled away just in time.

**"Kitten...I don't think calling him on that was such a wise idea..."**

'Really? Gee, I hadn't noticed!' Yugito shouted at her tenant while she dodged another overhead strike from the possessed shinobi.

Shizaru was growing more and more annoyed by the second. He wasn't experience with the limits of a human body, or with a sword for that matter. He relied completely on Orochimaru's knowledge of Kenjutsu to attack, but he wasn't used to using this kind of blade. He couldn't blow his cover as a demon, even though the Jinchuuriki partially busted him as not being completely human...But, then again, did a person like Orochimaru count as a human in the first place?

_**'It's no matter...I will carry out Lord Arcarian's orders without fail. Just because my cover has been partially blown doesn't mean the plan as been altered. I must do as I have always done, and adapt to overcome.'**_

"You are a very agile little kitty. Tell me, what rank do you hold in this village? Tokubetsu Jōnin? Full Jōnin? You could even be an ANBU, as I can tell you're holding back."

Yugito allowed herself a moment of arrogance. "I'm a what they call a Tokubetsu Chūnin. The Council won't let me progress any further, they don't want to give me too much authority over others." 'Rotten bastards.' she thought the last part.

Shizaru nodded. "I see...But what I want to know is this: is your power your own, or was it handed to you by your demon?"

Yugito tense, then growled. "I'll have you know I've never had anything handed to me...at least not by choice. I've earned every bit of my power!"

Shizaru licked his lips in the very creepy and grotesque manner that Orochimaru was famous for. _**'So, she is just like the young Halfling...maybe they will make a good couple.' **_the demon mused.

Deciding to continue the battle, Shizaru lunged forward again, but slower this time. He wanted to toy with the girl a bit, make her think she was holding her own, then brutally crush her. That was the way Shizaru often fought. Let your opponent think they can win, only to rise up again and again, no matter what they threw at you, and crush them like the inferior insects that they were.

"So..." Shizaru spoke in between attacks. "Do you...know...of the...other...Jin...chuuriki?"

Yugito spoke in between dodges. "Yeah...in...Konoha...and...Suna...right?"

Shizaru nodded and grinned. "That's right...you know...both...of...them...are very...powerful...One...with...control over...the desert sands...and the...other in...control of...three elements...at once."

Yugito narrowed her eyes. What was this man getting at? "So...what?...I could...beat...both of...them...any...day...of the...week!"

"Is...that so?...Well...I can't...say you're...proving that...statement...right now...Your demon...is the...second weakest...of the...tailed...demon lords."

The Nibi bristled at the last remark. **"Yugito, give me contrrrol, now. I want to teach this...this human a lesson."**

Yugito knew that her demon was serious, she only called her by her name when she was. 'Alright.'

Yugito closed her eyes, then opened them, revealing glowing, golden irises with slitted pupils. **"You'rrre going to pay forrr that little remarrrk, human." **Nibi hissed.

Shizaru only rose an eyebrow. "So, the kitty has come out for playtime? I don't have a ball of yarn, but I do have this." Shizaru smirked as purple flames surrounded his fingertips and his tongue slithered out to wrap around the teen's body. "Five Elements Seal!" he then slammed his flaming hand into Nibi-Yugito's stomach.

Nibi yowled in pain as she felt herself being returned to the isolation of the seal that held her. A place she hadn't been in years. Yugito was flung back and into a wall, where she hacked up blood and tried, unsuccessfully, to get back to her feet.

Shizaru laughed at the teen's piteous state. "Now then, let's see how you do without your demon...or your elemental control. That seal isn't only for sealing demons, but also elements. Now you can't use Fire, Water, Earth, Wind, or your precious Lightning based techniques...quite a handicap for a Kumo shinobi." he saw Yugito rising to her feet and laughed. "What will you do now? You can barely stand, and you couldn't beat me with Taijutsu anyway. I'm probably the best swordsman outside of Kirigakure, so that's not an option for you. You don't have anything! You can't even raise the dead without the Nibi! So, I ask again, what will you do?"

Yugito finally got her footing and lifted her head to glare hatefully at the man before her. "Damn...you..." was all she hissed out before collapsing as she lost consciousness.

Shizaru stared down at the young woman for a few seconds before snorting. "For a second there, I actually thought she was going to try something." he walked over to her body and flipped her over, inspecting her sleeping face. "Hmm...I wonder how that Cursed Seal would react to demonic chakra..."

Shizaru then snorted mentally. _**'Are you corrupting Orochimaru, or has he corrupted you?' **_he asked himself jokingly.

He had been so engrossed in his fun, that he almost didn't notice the arrival of the far larger chakra signature from earlier.

"Orochimaru! Your day of reckoning is nigh!" an overly loud and boisterous voice shouted from behind Shizaru.

Said demon's eyebrow twitched and he slowly turned towards the man. The eyebrow twitch turned into a full-blown eye twitch when he saw the loud man was wearing the white and grey robes of the Raikage, and had also brought a small army of shinobi with him.(5)

"..._You_ are the Yondaime Raikage?"

The man seemed to resist the urge to facefault. "You know who I am, Hebi-teme! Don't you dare play dumb with me, foul scum!" the Raikage then pulled out a small notebook and began to scribble in it. "Man, I can make a rhyme anytime...oh! There's another! I'm a poet and I didn't even know it! Hot damn, I'm on fire!" everyone sweatdropped, even the unconscious Yugito.

Shizaru was nearly foaming at the mouth, it seemed that he shared his temporary host's extreme dislike for being ignored.

"ENOUGH! Stop with this buffoonery and fight me!" Shizaru sped towards his new target.

The Raikage looked up from his notebook with an unseen smirk. 'Come on...just a bit closer...NOW!' he grabbed Orochimaru's wrist and pushed his own hand into the man's face. "Lightning Release: Raiden's Punishment!" electricity surged through Kyuuzou's hand and into Orochimaru's body.

After a couple seconds Kyuuzou let go of the man's face and a large lightning bolt slammed him through two buildings.

_**'What the hell was that?'**_ Shizaru shrieked in pain.

As the name of the technique suggested, "Raiden's Punishment" was a divine attack. Created by the Lightning God, Raiden, and handed down to humans in the form of an ancient scroll, it was said to have been used by Raiden himself to fend off the powerful Lightning demon, Raijin, and punish him for going against the God(Demi-God) that had created him.

And thus, being an attack meant for a demon, "Raiden's Punishment" had a particularly damaging effect on Shizaru.

"How do ya' like them apples, pedophile? That attack was meant to vanquish evil beings, so begone, ye foul demon!" shouted Kyuuzou through the holes, shaking his fist like an angry old man that had just been pranked.

_**'I'll murder that bastard!...At another time, I wasn't expecting that at all.'**_ Shizaru readied his retreat, but not before leaving the village a parting gift in the form of another giant, acid-spitting snake. _**'I've accomplished my mission anyway, might as well go before my cover really is blown.'**_

"Fine, I'll leave. But know this; I'll get you back for that." with that "Orochimaru" slowly melted into a puddle of mud.

"Damn, Mud Clone! Bastard's probably miles away by now." Kyuuzou cursed.

"Sir, it looks like the demoness tried to join Orochimaru, but he left her behind." an ANBU growled and kicked the unconscious girl.

The Raikage growled and knocked the ANBU aside. "I believe the ANBU Guidelines clearly state that an ANBU is not to jump to conclusions before having sufficient evidence." he kneeled by the teen's body and lifted up her shirt, exposing the seal that kept the Nibi no Nekomata contained within her.

Kyuuzou inspected the seal and saw the Five Elements Seal placed over top of it. 'She tried to fight him...foolish girl...She must have went all out on him to force him to use that containment seal.' "No, she gave her all to protect this village from destruction...Which is more than I can say for many of you." he glared at the ANBU specifically.

The ANBU shrank from the Fourth's glare and tried to hide behind the rest of his squad, who just parted before him, keeping him in the Raikage's line of sight.

Kyuuzou turned back to the girl and picked her up bridal style and carried her towards the Raikage tower.

'I'm sorry, Yugito-chan...I'm sorry that it took an event like this for me to finally shape up and see you for who you truly are...my daughter."

Yugito's parental situation was...complicated to say the least. Her real father was the Yondaime Raikage, but she was conceived when he was just a Jōnin. When he saw her eyes, he thought she had been corrupted by the demon within her, but was willing to give her a chance. But when he came into her room one night and found a would-be assassin dead on the floor and his wife, who had died while giving birth two weeks prior, sitting in a chair and cradling Yugito, Kyuuzou lost it.

Putting the girl up for adoption, and effectively disowning her, Kyuuzou went about his life with only limited guilt. Yugito was nothing but a demon's puppet and a painful reminder of his dead wife...Right?

But, as time went on, Yugito's powers increased, and the village Council saw an opportunity. The Sandaime Raikage, a cruel bastard of a dictator that no one, but the Council, liked, adopted Yugito. For years the man tried to raise the girl to be the perfect shinobi, the perfect tool of destruction.

But things didn't go according to plan. No one counted on Yugito being able to communicate with her demon so early on, or the demon having a soft spot for children. When the Raikage tried to beat down Yugito's conscience and emotions, the Nibi allowed her to keep them. When he tried to brainwash her with false stories of the brutality that was displayed by Kumo's enemies, mainly Konoha, the Nibi would tell Yugito the true events and how they unfolded. She told the young girl that the Raikage was just mad that he had gotten his ass handed to him by Konoha's Yondaime Hokage in the last Great Shinobi War.

Nothing worked on the child, so the Sandaime temporarily abandoned his plan, sending Yugito out on her own until he came up with something else. But he never got a chance to put his plan into action, as he was assassinated by a group calling themselves, simply, the "Jiyuu Benso(Freedom Defense)". They weren't part of the village, they were a group of missing-nin that went around the world, overthrowing the rulers of countries they deemed tyrannical. It was said that Kirigakure was next on their list, but everyone knew that, so the group had been laying low for a while.

After they had killed the Raikage, a "celebratory" mob took it upon themselves to get rid of two burdens to the village in the same day. They went after Yugito, and there was nothing that she, nor the Nibi could do to stop them. But, before they could try anything, Yugito was saved from certain death by her true birth father, though she didn't know it at the time, Hoshigi Kyuuzou.

The man was then made the Yondaime Raikage after it was revealed that he had been the one to call for the Jiyuu Benso's help, and aided them in the assassination. The fact that he was also a Kage level ninja to begin with didn't hurt either.

Until this day, Kyuuzou had no idea what made him rescue Yugito. He outright refused to acknowledge the girl as a human, let alone his offspring, but, for some reason, he couldn't stand by and watch her die.

But now he knew. He knew that Yugito wasn't a demon's puppet, nor was she a demon herself. She wasn't just a reminder of the past that he wished he could forget. She wasn't just a reminder of the love that he had lost. She was his daughter. The legacy that both he and his wife had made. Of course she was a reminder of his wife, they looked nearly identical! But what little girl didn't look anything like her mother? Yugito would never let him forget her mother, and he didn't want to forget. He wouldn't forgive himself if he ever did forget his first and only love.

He'd never forget her, and he'd never again deny his daughter the right to be with her family.

Kyuuzou didn't feel like he thought he was supposed to. He'd just saved his village from the most feared nuke-nin outside of Akatsuki! He'd proven everyone wrong and had overcome his cowardice! He should feel great, better than he ever had before! But he didn't, he felt like a walking pile of shit, and he knew exactly why.

The knowledge of just what he had done to his own flesh and blood had finally hit him full force. He'd disowned his own child, tossed her away like she was nothing but a lump of rotting meat. What would his wife think of him now?

"Oh Kami-sama...I'm so sorry, Yugito-chan...Kimiko, can either of you ever forgive me? I...I don't deserve it, but...let me at least try to make things right." tears fell from Kyuuzou's eyes, but it was hidden by the sudden downpour that had started.

The fires set by Orochimaru and his, now defeated, summons were snuffed out by the rains, but Kyuuzou didn't pay any attention to it. All that mattered to him was getting Yugito back to health and trying to set things right for what was left of his family.

"I'll make it all up to you...I promise you both, I'll make this right."

(Underground Chamber)

Naruto's eyebrow twitched for what had to be the thousandth time in the last hour. Zabuza had been wandering around the chamber looking for something to amuse himself with.

He had found it alright...but he could have picked something a bit less...noisy and annoying.

The sound of extremely high-pitched drumming hit Naruto's sensitive ears once again, and the boy twitched violently and glared at the source of the infernal racket.

Zabuza had found an intact human ribcage and two femurs a while back and decided to put on his own "musical" show. The former nuke-nin had managed to single-handedly remind all present why the xylophone was probably the most hated musical instrument in human history.

At some point Zabuza began to imagine himself as a rock star and had put on a skull...that's right, he had put _on_ a _skull_. Playing the ribcage like people were actually enjoying his performance, he played faster and faster until the bones were little more than off-white blurs. He then smashed them on the ribcage, shattering both like glass.

"THANK YOU KONOHA, WE LOVE YOU, GOODNIGHT!" he shouted while holding the broken bones in an "X" shape above his head.

Zabuza had awakened everyone in the chamber long ago with his antics, but his sudden scream caused most of them to jump. Naruto just twitched like he had sat on an electrode, and leveled his patented "Glow Glare", as Anko called it, at the former Mist-nin.

"Um...What did we miss?" Kurohane scratched her head in confusion.

Naruto looked at her, then back at Zabuza. "The world's most annoying concert...ever..."

"That I can see...and hear, but what caused all this?"

"We were waiting for you all to wake up. I tried to meditate, but that idiot started doing..._that_, so my concentration was shot to hell."

Haku, Chigusa and Kiriko then walked up, yawning and stretching their joints and muscles.

"Well, we're up now. Should we get moving?" Haku asked.

Naruto nodded and stood up. "Now all we have to do is wait for Zabuza to get his head unstuck..."

Everyone rose and eyebrow and looked at Zabuza, who looked confused as well.

"What? My head isn't stuck." he went to pull off the skull, but found that he couldn't. "Oh crap."

"See?" Naruto said while yawning.

Zabuza struggled to get the skull off, but was causing himself pain in the process.

"What the hell is up with this thing? It went on just fine!"

"Maybe your head has gotten bigger? Filling with more hot air, perhaps?"

Zabuza had somehow managed to turn the skull around on his head, so he couldn't see. He flipped off the person he assumed was Naruto.

"...I'm over here..." Zabuza changed directions.

"Screw you! You act like you've never worn the skulls of your enemies!"

Everyone sweatdropped at that. "...No, I haven't..." 'Well, there was that one time...' Naruto said and thought.

This time Zabuza sweatdropped. "So...I'm the only one?"

Everyone just nodded, though Zabuza couldn't see it, he could tell.

"Yep, your weirdness level has just risen above Naruto-kun's." Kurohane said, then looked at Naruto and sweatdropped massively.

Naruto had, at some point, found three human skulls and started juggling them.

"...Naruto-kun...what are you doing?" Kurohane's eyebrow twitched.

Naruto looked at her. "Huh?"

Everyone just stared beyond him, heavy sweatdrops on the sides of their heads.

Naruto cocked his head to the side and looked behind his shoulder. He too sweatdropped when he saw the three skulls still being juggled by an invisible force. It was, in fact, Naruto's Wind-based chakra at "work". He didn't use it as often as Fire and Darkness, so he needed some way to keep his skills sharp. And he figured why not amuse himself while he was at it, and so Air Juggling was born.

Naruto looked at the others, who were still staring. "What? You've never seen floating skulls before?"

Zabuza, who had gotten the skull off, glared at Naruto. "Oh, he can play with skulls, but I can't?" he chucked his skull at the floating ones, making them fall to the ground.

Naruto's eyebrow twitched and all four skulls floated into the air and launched themselves at Zabuza.

Zabuza screamed and ducked behind a rock, avoiding the...moderately dangerous projectiles.

Kiriko, who had remained quiet throughout everything, had finally had enough. "Dammit, can't you people be serious right now?"

Everyone turned to the girl, who started to feel quite self-conscious about her little outburst.

"...First people want me to lighten up, then they want me to be more serious. I swear, there's no pleasing them." Naruto muttered. "Alright, let's move it. I've got much better ways to spend my time than being trapped down here with a bunch of zombies and other creatures."

Everyone followed their leader out of the chamber and into a long stone hallway. Despite the ragged look of the chambers, the hallway looked like it had been perfectly carved out. Sure the years and multiple tons of dirt, rock, and the mansion itself, had taken their tolls on the structure, but it was still, undisputedly, the nicest part of the secret tunnels.

"So, any idea where we're supposed to go next?" Chigusa asked Naruto.

Naruto shrugged. "With the way things are going, I'm sure we're going to be herded to wherever the mastermind behind all this wants us to go." Naruto said, as if expecting something.

Sure enough, as they were walking down the hallway and huge metal door sprouted up in front of them. The only viable passage was a large archway to their right.

"See?" Naruto said lazily as he turned to the right and walked into the next chamber.

Once inside of the archway another door shot up and blocked the exit, but Naruto carried on, not even breaking stride. The others followed, not knowing what else to do.

After a few minutes of walking the group came to another door, but this one was a double door that seemed to actually open normally. Naruto tried to push it open, but nothing happened. There were no handles to pull it with, so they just stood there for a second.

"Hey, what's that written on the door?" Haku pointed out.

Zabuza leaned in to inspect the strange symbols. "I have no idea. I've been all over the Elemental Countries and I've never encountered something like this."

Kurohane narrowed her eyes, then snapped her fingers as realization hit her.

"I know what they are! I've seen them before in the Summon Realm!"

"The what?" Zabuza scratched his head, he wasn't big on summons at all.

"It's the world where us summons come from, also the place where contracts are created. The Summon Realm isn't really where we live, that's in a parallel dimension, it's the place where he hang out most of the time. This is the reason why you'll always summon random beings, no matter how much chakra you push into the summoning. It all depends on the contract and what member of the contracted summon clan happens to be in the Summon Realm at the time. If you push a lot of chakra into the summon, you'll still get random results, but if you think of the summon you want, that being will feel a psychic pull on its mind, telling him/her that you need them. If you've pushed enough chakra into the summon, then the creature you want will be able to replace the one you got once they reach the Summon Realm.

Most humans don't know all that, so try to keep this info secret. We've had problems with people trying to achieve inter-dimensional travel just because they know another world exists. They usually end up ripping a hole in the dimensional wall and letting something through that ain't supposed to be there. Last time that happened we had to deal with an Inhaler demon. The thing has a black hole in its stomach, so whenever it opens its mouth, pretty much everything gets sucked into it. They're easy to deal with once you get their mouths shut, but that's much easier said than done." Kurohane scrunched her eyes shut and rubbed her temples. "Too much...information...flooding back...from schooldays!" she grumbled.

Everyone just sweatdropped. "But that still doesn't tell us where the symbols come from." Naruto pointed out, though the more he looked at the symbols the more he felt like he'd seen them before and knew what them meant.

Kurohane stopped rubbing her head and smiled sheepishly. "Sorry, got carried away. Those symbols are written in an ancient demonic language, used only for summoning contracts for high level demons. They keep the demon from turning on the summoner, and make him/her obey the summoner's every command for a limited amount of time. The time depends on the amount of chakra required to summon the demon and the amount you actually used. But yeah, if these are demonic symbols, than there's probably a fairly powerful demon behind this door." the leather clad summon's eyes widened before she started rubbing her head again and mumbling to herself.

Naruto just shook his head and stared at the symbols. Then, like an automated recording, he began to subconsciously translate and speak the words.

"'You who enter this chamber be warned: those who disturb the rest of the demon shall incite the fury of The Guardians. To escape with your life you must complete four trials. He who completes every trial will earn The Key of Fire and the Guardian's Soul. Beware, for only one whose soul is clear and whose blood is pure can go beyond this door and hope to survive. Death shall slay, with blades from below, those of false heritage." Naruto shook his head to clear out the cobwebs.

The group stared, wide-eyed with jaws hanging, at their leader.

"...How the hell did you do that?" Zabuza asked.

Naruto just looked at them. "...I...don't know...It was like I wasn't in control of my body...My mouth just moved on its own."

Kurohane sighed. "Don't worry about it, Naruto-kun, your weirdness level just went up, that's all!" she said cheerfully.

Naruto sweatdropped. "Um...Thanks?"

"Well, it appeared that you are the only one that can go any further than this. I can only assume that passage you read means that only a Namikaze can face the trials." Kurohane pushed Naruto towards the door. "Off you go! Don't worry about us, just worry about yourself, we'll be fine."

Naruto nodded at the answer to his unasked question, then pushed on the door again. To his mild surprise the door actually gave in and swung open this time, revealing yet another archway. The masked boy spared one last look at his companions before walking in and letting the door close behind him.

Inside the new chamber Naruto looked around for any kind a clue as to what he was supposed to do.

"Welcome, Intruder, to the First Trial." a deep, masculine voice echoed throughout the chamber.

Naruto tensed and placed his right hand on the hilt of the Black Soul. "Who's there? Show yourself or die!" he demanded.

The voice chuckled and a humanoid figure clad in a white, hooded robe walked down a flight of stairs that hadn't been there before. He was taller than Naruto by about seven inches, making him six foot two, and seemed to be hiding a weapon under his robe, if the metallic clinking noise was anything to go by.

"Forgive me, Intruder, where are my manners? I have been known by more than a few names in my time, but you may call me Pondera(Latin for "Balance"). I shall guide you through the trials, and let you know if and when you've passed. Now come, the Trial of Impulse awaits you."

The robed man walked back up the stairs, pausing to gesture for Naruto to follow.

Naruto, seeing no other available option, obeyed and walked after the man.

Once they reached the top of the stairs and man stepped aside to reveal a tall stone door.

"This is the entrance to the first of the Four Trials; the Trial of Impulse. I am to give you one clue at the beginning of each trial to help you, so here it is. Do not trust your mind, your heart, or your senses in there. Trust only your body, for it knows the way."

The door opened and Naruto stepped forward, but looked at Pondera before entering.

"You're not human, are you?"

Pondera laughed. "I used to be, but I was...insubordinate to my superior, and, as punishment, I was given eternal life and forced to dwell down here. Honestly, I stopped thinking about what I am centuries ago. All I know is my job, which is to guide all that come through the entrance to this chamber. I do not care if you live or die, but I am obligated to give you a least a chance to survive, hence the clues. Now, carry on with your tasks. Many a fool has come down here seeking fortune and whatnot, but, for some reason, I think your motives are...less frivolous." he paused for a moment, then let out a small chuckle. "I take back what I said about not caring. I hope you make it to the end. You interest me...Uzumaki Naruto."

Before Naruto could question Pondera any further, the "man" shoved him through the door and closed it behind him.

XXXX

And there you have it!

Again, I apologize for not putting any action in this chapter, but the next chapter with have a few fight scenes, and another _pleasant_ surprise, heh...

Anyway, I guess I don't have very much else to say...If you have questions, feel free to ask. Suggestions? Go crazy...but not _too_ crazy. Flames? Bring it, I haven't made someone cry in a while.

Oh, and I just thought up some stuff that's going to fuckin' blow you minds! But you'll have to wait to see what it is. But I'm telling you, get ready for some of the biggest shockers and plot twists since The Sixth Sense! I have it all worked out, now I just have to incorporate it into the story. I don't want to get overzealous in showing off my new ideas. I've known more than a few great writers that have completely ruined their works by revealing things too soon and creating massive plotholes.

And I told that you I've updated every chapter and edited them myself, and this one is no different. So now you can go back and read this entire work of art, if I do say so myself, error free(for the most part...)!

(1) If you don't know, I'm making all of this up. So don't go checking for episodes featuring giant bats, 'cause you won't find them.

(2) Again, spelling is intentional.

(3) Yeah, I know it's kinda Cat Woman cliché, but I'm making the Nibi roll her R's. For anyone who's played multiplayer on Timesplitters: Future Perfect and chosen the Jungle Queen as your character, Nibi sounds like her. For everyone else, she has a sort of stereotypical Russian accent.

(4) I don't know Yugito's real age, but for the sake of this fic she's eighteen. Zabuza met her when he was twenty-one, so he's thirty-two now. I know he's supposed to be the same age as Kakashi, twenty-six/seven, but he looks older than that, so I made him older.

(5) Don't know what color they really are.

I guess that's it, so...

Jason Out!


	20. What Lies Beneath

And here is chapter twenty!

I know I told some people there would a lemon in this chapter, but it went on longer than I had originally planned. I'll be putting one in chapter twenty-one for sure. The set-up for the lemon was just too long to put into this chapter, so I decided to move it back a bit.

And sorry about the delay people, I was away from my computer for a while, and my jump drive was acting up, so I couldn't update from where I was at the time, but I could still get on to reply to reviews and such. I tried to update yesterday, but I had severe food poisoning from about 2:00pm on Saturday to 5:30am on Sunday, so I couldn't risk even getting near the computer without blowing chunks on it.

Anyway, enjoy the new chapter!

XXXX

Naruto stumbled into the new chamber and growled over his shoulder. Something wasn't right about that Pondera, besides the fact that he was probably hundreds of years old.

"Where the hell am I now?" Naruto mumbled to himself.

He was in yet another hallway, but this one actually seemed to lead somewhere, so he followed it. It twisted left, he turned left. It twisted right, he turned right. Naruto repeated this process multiple times until he came to...a dead-end.

Naruto smashed his head against the wall, cracking the stone. He then looked up to see the ceiling was covered in huge metal spikes. He also noticed the winding and twisting patterns they were arranged in and smashed his head against the wall a second time as he realized where he was.

"This is a maze...figures." he looked up again and used the arrangement of the spikes to get a feel for the general direction of the exit.

He saw that the spikes were in perfect alignment with the halls, meaning that they probably came down at some point and impaled whatever was in the maze at the time. So, all that was left was to get out before the spikes fell and he was turned into Swiss cheese.

"...Screw this." he made two Rasengan in his hands and absorbed them, then began walking towards the supposed exit, blasting down every wall he came into contact with.

As soon as he made it to the end, the spikes came down, but Naruto was in the clear.

"Hmph, that was a bit too easy."

"For a true Namikaze, yes." Pondera's voice rang out. "That is the key to the Trial of Impulse. As its name suggests, you must trust your impulses. The Namikaze were NOT known for their patience. You're first impulse was to blast every wall and basically cheat to get through, which is just what a Namikaze would do."

Naruto snorted. "If you know that I'm a Namikaze, why did you call me 'Uzumaki'?"

This time Pondera snorted as he walked down another flight of stairs. "Blood does not make a Namikaze. Just like an Uchiha or a Hyūga is not considered a clansman/woman unless he/she has that clan's respective bloodline, Namikazes are not accepted into the clan by blood relation alone. Your personality and your actions decide whether or not you are a true Namikaze. So, until you prove that to me, I will not call you a Namikaze. Now, follow me to the next trial."

Naruto growled and followed Pondera up the stairs.

Once at the top, Pondera stepped aside again to reveal another door.

"This is the Trial of the Beast. The Beast is the name the Namikaze gave to their dark sides. As you may have guessed, these trials make up all that a Namikaze is. All Namikaze have something of a sixth sense that allows them to act on impulse and still make the right decisions ninety percent of the time. Here is your clue for the next trial: The Beast dwells within us all, clawing at our very souls, howling for release. Control yourself and silence the Beast once a for all."

Naruto cocked his head to the side, then shook it and walked through the door. He didn't have time for riddles.

The door closed and Naruto found himself inside of a large circular room. He had read something about these in a book once. They were called "Coliseums". They were used by ancient civilizations to host different battles. Warriors called "Gladiators" waged small-scale wars within the walls of the coliseums. Whether it was just a two man duel, or a fifty man, "last man breathing" brawl, it all happened in areas like the one Naruto was now in.

"So...What now?"

"Hello...son." a masculine voice called out from behind Naruto.

The masked boy tensed and his fists shook violently as his claws dug into his skin and drew blood. He slowly turned to face the other blonde-haired man, unadulterated fury burning in his eyes.

"You..." Naruto hissed.

"Hm? What's the matter, son? You look angry with me." there, standing before Naruto, was the man who was single-handedly responsible for his pain and suffering: the Yondaime Hokage.

Something within Naruto snapped as soon as the words left the man's mouth and he lunged. Wrapping his hands around the man's neck, Naruto began to squeeze the life from Minato Namikaze.

Naruto didn't even register the fact that the Fourth wasn't reacting to being strangled at all.

"What's wrong, son? Why are you so upset with me?"

Naruto's eyes widened and he raised a fist while keeping his left hand around the man's neck. The raised fist came crashing down onto the Yondaime's skull with multiple tons of force, causing it to cave in slightly. But that wasn't enough for Naruto, no, not enough at all. Naruto raised his fist and brought it down hundreds, maybe even thousands of times in the space of only a few minutes, turning the older male's head into little more than a crimson smear on the ground.

Naruto panted harshly, staring down at the remains of the man that dared call himself his father, only to see the man's still intact eye staring back at him, not showing any sign of pain at all, only genuine confusion. This only enraged Naruto more and he pulled back his fist one more time, and, with a demonic roar, brought it down on the eye, sending his fist into the ground and creating a large crater.

The masked boy pulled his arm from the ground, feeling the broken bones within shifting back into place and mending. He stood from the Yondaime's body and snorted at it, then walked over to a wall and leaned against it before sliding down to sit on the ground.

"Tsk, tsk, tsk, such fury from such a young one...truly intriguing." Pondera's voice sounded.

Naruto looked up to see the white clad being looking over the former Hokage's body.

"I...couldn't control my Beast...I guess I failed this trial..." Naruto said.

To the boy's surprise Pondera shook his head. "Quite the contrary, my boy, you passed with flying colors! The point of this test was not to control and contain your Beast, it was to control and _embrace_ your Beast. Harness your rage, and use it to accomplish your dreams! In your case, your dream is to kill a dead man...which isn't as impossible as it sounds, but that's a conversation for another time. The only way to eternally silence the Beast is to sate its appetite."

Naruto merely nodded and rose to his feet, dusting off his dormant cloak and pants.

"So, what's next?"

Pondera nodded and walked towards another flight of stairs, Naruto following closely.

After reaching the next door Pondera stepped aside again. "You have completed half of the trials so far, and it is now time for the Trial of the Guardians. None have survived this trial, and I don't expect you to either...But, you've been defying fate and surpassing expectations your entire life. Your next clue is this: What you view as your greatest weakness will be your greatest strength."

Naruto just sighed and shook his head once again before walking through the door. 'More riddles...' he thought.

As the door closed Naruto instantly knew that he wasn't alone in this room. The Soul Edge gave him the ability to sense souls and he could sense nine besides himself and his tenants.

The room was another coliseum, identical to the first. Naruto would have thought it was the same if not for one important detail...make that nine important details. At the far end of the chamber, nine statues stood. Naruto walked over to them and inspected the written symbols on the bases.

The first on the left looked to be a humanoid female wearing a white kabuki mask with black markings running down the cheeks from the eyes, like black tears. She wore formal looking robes and had long hair that went down to the backs of her knees. The demonic symbols at the bottom, apparently her name, read, "Clementia"(Latin for "Humanity").

The next was a large crouching figure that looked like a cross between a human and a crocodile. It had a long muzzle filled with sharp teeth, if its overbite was anything to go by. Its eyes were apparently closed, but Naruto was almost expecting them to snap open at any second. The ridges and bumps on the creature's scaly hide covered its body like natural armor. It had a long tail that was currently curled around its feet like a cat, and its clawed hands were in full view, one balancing it on the ground and the other on its knee. The symbols at the statue's base read, "Morium"(Latin for "Morals").

The next wore samurai-like armor and had a katana strapped to its waist. Its face was covered by a mask depicting a grinning demon. The armor it wore was cracked and chipped to such a degree that one would think the wearer had fought an entire army. The symbols at the base read, "Veneratio"(Latin for "Honor").

The next figure looked like a human child, but its eyes and mouth were sewn shut and its ears seemed to have small spikes jammed into them. Its hands were replaced with wickedly curved blades, almost like hooks. It wore a simple vest over a full bodysuit, which featured sleeves that stopped at the biceps. The symbols on this statue read, "Insontis"(Latin for "Innocence").

The next statue could only be described as a humanoid shark. Its massive, but hunched, figure towered above every other statue at over nine feet. Its head was completely shark-like, other than the fact that it could apparently close its eyes. Its mouth was set in the eternal, fanged grin, showing off the teeth that sharks were known for. It had five slits going down both sides of its neck that Naruto, correctly, guessed were gills. The shark-like fins were turned into blades for the beast, not that it needed them with the huge claws that adorned the tips of four webbed fingers on each hand. It stood on two legs with webbed and clawed feet, and seemed to have a tail, but Naruto didn't want to get close enough to check. The symbols at the base read, "Reformo"(Latin for "Remorse").(1)

The next statue was, literally, a skeleton. It looked to be a carving a mere bones, but it was wearing some kind of upper body armor. Two strange, cylindrical objects adorned its shoulders, and seemed to be hollow, most likely some kind of projectile weapons, like cannons. The symbols read, "Vereor"(Latin for "Fear").(2)

Naruto moved to the next platform, but found no statue and no symbols, so he skipped it and moved on to the next.

This statue seemed normal enough, like a regular, human shinobi. It was dressed in a full bodysuit that even covered its entire head. A strange device was strapped to its head by multiple belts in the form of an eyepatch over where the being's right eye would have been. The device had three small orbs, arranged in the points of a triangle, embedded in it. Naruto guessed that the device was how it saw, as it didn't seem to have a left eye. It was holding three kunai between the fingers of its left hand, while its right gripped the hilt of the katana strapped to its back. The symbols at the base read, "Affectus"(Latin for "Emotion").

The next statue also seemed like a normal human. It was a very short old man, just under four feet tall, holding a staff that was nearly twice his height. He had a long beard that fell to the ground and curled before his feet. The old man was bald, but only on the top of his head. His eyebrows were so large that they completely hid his eyes from view. Deep wrinkles in his forehead told the story of his age better than anything. The symbols read, "Ignotus"(One of three Latin words for "Ignorance").

Naruto looked further down, scanning the last statue, and found that these three all looked human. They weren't the twisted monstrosities that the made up the previous figures, excepting the one called "Clementia".

The last statue next to the old man was an odd one. It was a man dressed in a buttoned trenchcoat, pants and boots. His hands were held behind his back, and he seemed to be holding something, but that wasn't the odd thing. That was the fact that the being was wearing a full-faced gasmask. The breathing vents seemed to disconnect from the rest of the mask, being held to it by two gear-like hinges at the back of the jaw. This could have been a feature built into the mask to allow the wearer to eat and drink without removing it. Naruto thought is made the man look like a fish, the large, round lenses over the eyeholes only enforced the image. The name at the bottom read, "Fragilitas"(Latin for "Weakness").(3)

Naruto stepped back from the statues. "Are these the Guardians?" he asked himself.

"Yes...they are." Pondera's voice called from behind Naruto.

The boy didn't even flinch. "You know...somehow, I knew you were going to be here...And that I was probably going to fight you."

Pondera chuckled. "Well then, I congratulate you for your paranoia."

Naruto snorted. "So, are these guys supposed to represent something?" he gestured to the statues.

Pondera nodded and walked up to the statues.

"Yes, they represent everything the Namikaze clan threw away in order to gain power. You can read and translate the symbols yourself, but I'm sure you are confused by their appearance. The Guardians are demons that were created by the Namikaze clan...well, one Namikaze clan member. They had no real shape to begin with, but when the Namikaze gained their power, these demons took the form of all that they threw away. They were made to be a constant reminder of what they had lost. If a Namikaze ever wanted something back, like their morals, then they would have to fight Morium. If they won, they were exiled from the clan until they agreed to relinquish their morals once again."

"But why do they look the way they do? A mutated shark is hardly the poster boy of Remorse." Naruto said, backing up a bit to put some distance between himself and the hybrid.

"That's the whole point. These creatures are made to appear as the antithesis of what they represent." Pondera replied.

Naruto took another look at the surrounding statues. "So, what do I do now?"

"Now you must choose."

"Choose what?"

"Choose what you want back. There are only a few choices for you."

"What do you mean?" Naruto was getting tired of the damned riddles.

"You still have most of these. You have your humanity, you moral fiber is still intact, and you are an honorable fighter. Despite what you think, you still have some of your innocence left; you are merciless most of the time, but you know when to be remorseful. Even though you won't admit it, I know that there are things that you fear. Do you want your emotions back? Your ignorance of the world around you? What? You have plenty of weaknesses, and unless you're tired of being a shinobi, that's also out of the question." Pondera tried to hide the twitching of his hands by hiding them in the sleeves of his robe.

Naruto rubbed his chin thoughtfully, then cast a short glance at the empty podium.

"You know what? I think I'm too specialized...I want a bit of Balance." he unsheathed the Black Soul and leapt away from Pondera, who laughed.

"So, when did you figure it out?" he asked, taking his hands out of his sleeves.

"That you were the tenth Guardian? Honestly, I have no idea. Call it paranoia if you want, I just knew that there was something..._odd_ about you. Something that I shouldn't ignore."

Pondera laughed again. "You are truly a remarkable boy, Naruto! Though, I suppose our inevitable conflict is a product of destiny."

"I don't believe in destiny or fate. I make my own decisions. I am not a slave to an invisible force; I control my own life!"

"Really now? I've heard those words before. Before, when I said none had survived this trial...I lied. One man did: Namikaze Minato, your father." Pondera ignored Naruto's violent twitch. "He fought the Guardians to regain that which made him human. But I was the only one he couldn't defeat. Over the course of three years, he came down here every week to battle one of us. Then, in the final months before his demise, it was down to him and I. He challenged me countless times, but he never succeeded. And do you know why? It was because challenging me was pointless, as he already had balance in his life." Pondera parted his robe, revealing a black, armored bodysuit.

"Then why did you fight him?" Naruto questioned, anxious to begin the battle.

"I suppose...things were getting stagnant down here. The other Guardians do not release their forms unless they are chosen for combat by a Namikaze..."

"I thought you were one?"

"I never said I was. I was just a..._friend_ of the clan founder...Or, at least I thought I was his friend. When he contacted the Dark God, he wished for me to gain that infernal power as well, without asking me what I wanted. When I displayed my discontent, he thought me a traitor. I begged him to not let his judgment be clouded by his newfound power, but he wouldn't listen. The only way to prove my loyalty to him was...to kill my own wife and children...To sever all ties I had to humanity...All ties to anyone but him and the clan." Pondera took off his hood, revealing a handsome made with platinum-blonde, almost white, hair and bright green eyes.

"So, you disobeyed him, and that's why you're here?" Naruto asked, trying to get things to move along.

Pondera shook his head. "No, I did it...I murdered my own family...just to keep my only friend...But, as you can see, it didn't work. After I realized what I had done...what I was made to do, I turned on my friend and attacked him. But, in my weakened and emotional state, I was no match for him at all. I was defeated and cursed to live down here, with no way to redeem myself for my sins. But now, I just might have a chance." Pondera smirked and looked at Naruto.

"Finally. Let's get this party started!" Naruto grinned behind his mask.

Pondera nodded and threw off his robe, revealing the two large chains wrapped around his arms, each with a deadly spike at the end.

"We can begin, but first..." before Naruto could react, a beam of red light shot out of Pondera's hand and struck him in the chest.

Naruto was lifted off of his feet and slammed into the wall behind him. Rising to his feet, he felt the wound on his chest, only to find nothing.

"What did you do to me?" Naruto growled.

"Simple, I took away all of your demonic abilities. Your strength, your healing factor, even your sword has gone completely dormant. As of now, you are, for all intents and purposes, human." Pondera smirked, than launched one of his spiked chains at Naruto.

'Shit!' Naruto rolled to the side, narrowly avoiding the deadly weapon.

The chain struck the ground behind Naruto, shattering the stone floor and digging deeply into it. Pondera snorted and tugged on the chain, which was ripped from the floor, sending chunks of granite everywhere. He then whipped the chain to the left, smacking an incoming Naruto out of the air and into another wall.

Naruto flipped at the last second and landed feet-first on the wall and sticking to it.

'Dammit, I can't defeat him if I'm this weak!' the masked boy thought.

Pondera seemed to sense Naruto's frustration. "What's wrong? Can't you fight as a human?" he taunted.

Naruto growled, then released every bit of extra weight on his person and blurred out of sight. He knew his now-human body probably couldn't handle the strain, but he needed every advantage he could get, temporary or otherwise.

Pondera rose an eyebrow at the boy's speed. "Impressive, for a human as young as you." he suddenly shot one chain into a wall and pulled it taut. "But, I think it's going to do more harm than help."

Naruto saw the chain, but was going too fast to change direction, so he ran into it at full speed. The spike ripped from the wall and the chain wrapped around Naruto's torso, binding his arms to his sides.

Pondera used the other chain to smash Naruto across the face a couple of times, causing his mask to crack from the impact. He then jerked the chain upwards, taking Naruto with it, and spun it above his head.

Naruto was sent on the merry-go-round from hell as Pondera spun the chain faster and faster, until Naruto was little more than a black blur. Pondera then unwrapped the chain and flung Naruto through a wall, causing a section of the room to collapse and fall on the boy.

Pondera waited for Naruto to get up and come at him again, but when five minutes passed without so much as a shudder from the pile of rubble, Pondera sighed heavily.

"I guess I put too much faith in the boy...Damn, I really thought he would be my chance to free myself from this hellhole." he scowled and turned to pick up his robe.

As soon as he turned his back, a huge torrent of fire, in the shape of a dragon, erupted from the rubble and struck him dead-on. Pondera was thrown across the room and into the opposite wall by the blast.

The next thing to explode from the pile was Naruto himself, looking ragged and angry. Part of his mask, over his forehead and left eye, had broken away, exposing one glacier-like eye. (5)

"Don't you...ever...count me out...unless I...no longer have...a pulse...And even then...watch your back..." Naruto panted. In his desperation, he had pumped a bit too much chakra into his attack. Yet it was still only a bit more powerful than his normal, demon-enhanced version.

Pondera turned to Naruto with an appreciative nod. "I see, well then, please forgive me for my mistake. Next time I'll make sure you're down!" he blurred out of sight.

Naruto barely had time to inhale before the breath was knocked out of him, courtesy of Pondera's fist. The boy was, once again, flung into a wall.

'Dammit!' Naruto mentally cursed as he felt two ribs break and one more crack. He was also fairly certain that his back muscles were spasming out of his control. At the odd angle in which he had landed, his muscles were strong enough to contract and break his spine. He tried to get into a different position, but he couldn't move.

Pondera saw Naruto's predicament, and decided to help him out. Afterall, he couldn't let a worthy opponent die in such a way. He walked over to the downed boy and stomped on the small of his back, causing him to grunt in pain.

"That better?" Pondera smirked as he felt Naruto stir under his boot.

The Guardian's smirk was quickly wiped off of his face when the Naruto he was stepping on poofed out of existence.

"A replica?" was all Pondera said before his face was smashed into the floor by a vicious axe kick from Naruto, who had replaced himself with a Shadow Clone he had hiding on the ceiling.

Naruto bounded away and landed near the statues of the other Guardians. If he had looked behind himself, he would have seen every Guardian's head was in a different position, and they were all staring at him with their now opened eyes.

The masked Genin narrowed his eyes when he saw Pondera making no effort to get up from the crater he was now in. He edged closer to the fallen warrior to see what was happening, and noticed that both of the man's arms were also stuck in the ground along with his head.

"Oh hell." Naruto back flipped just in time to avoid the deadly chains as they erupted from the ground beneath where he once stood.

The chains writhed as if they had minds of their own, then launched themselves at Naruto.

Said ninja knocked both chains aside, then jumped over them as they tried to wrap around him. With a fierce slash, the speared ends of the chains fell to the ground, while the remainders still flailed about.

Naruto suddenly found himself being constricted by two more chains, both with spears still attached.

"What the hell?" he gasped out as the chains tightened their hold on him, cracking another rib.

The chains that Naruto had cut then disappeared in a puff of smoke, as did the Pondera in the crater.

"Did you honestly think I didn't know about your clone on the ceiling?" Pondera whispered in Naruto's ear.

"Did you honestly think I didn't know about your clone on the ground?" Naruto replied.

"That just makes it all the more pitiful that I still caught you with your own trick."

"Heh, I've just got one thing to say to that..." Naruto smirked behind what was left of his mask.

"Oh, and what's that? Last request, perhaps?" Pondera taunted.

"Boom." the captured Naruto exploded, sending Pondera flying and severing one of his chains.

The real Naruto was waiting in the shadows, hidden by a Genjutsu that made him appear as part of the wall. When Pondera went flying, Naruto put himself directly in his flight path, Black Soul ready to bisect the man.

Pondera's eyes widened as he felt his legs and his torso go their separate ways. Blood flew through the air, oozing from Pondera's flying corpse like rain. The body landed on the ground with a meaty thunk, a sound that Naruto loved to hear. The sound of yet another enemy that met his end by Naruto's blade.

He then heard chuckling from behind him and turned around. Pondera's "corpse" was laughing!

"How in the hell are you still alive?" Naruto hissed.

"Ask yourself that same question in about five seconds. And 'Boom' to you, too." Pondera exploded, flinging Naruto away.

Naruto lost his grip on the Black Soul as he was blasted away. He landed on his feet, but barely. Dazed and partially deaf from the blast, Naruto tried to walk, but ended up almost tripping over Pondera's severed chain.

Naruto got his bearings back just in time to duck under a sword slash meant for his neck. Rolling away from his attacker, he grabbed the first weapon he could find: Pondera's chain. Turning back, he saw Pondera holding the Black Soul in a standard samurai Kenjutsu stance.

"I take it you aren't very skilled with a sword?" Naruto asked his opponent.

"I take it you aren't very skilled with a battle chain?" Pondera replied with a question of his own.

Both warriors looked at their respective weapons, then at the ones they were currently wielding. They both shrugged, then charged.

Pondera went to stab Naruto in the chest, but Naruto countered by using the chain to block and capturing the blade in one of the links. Twisting the chain, Naruto loosened Pondera's hold on the sword, hit the man with five rapid-fire punches to the face, then a skull-cracking, back-fisted blow to the temple.

Before hitting the ground, Pondera flung his second chain at Naruto, hoping to skewer the boy's head.

Naruto grabbed the incoming object, then flung his own chain at Pondera. The chain hit dead-center in Pondera's chest, but the man only grunted in pain and wrenched his chain from Naruto's grasp, before smacking him with it.

"What the hell? How do you keep it up? I know you're not human, but dammit, you have to have a limit!" Naruto growled.

"How many people...have asked you...that same question?" Pondera ripped the chain from his chest and tossed it at Naruto, who just caught it. "No matter how much damage you do to me...you'll never be able to defeat me the way you are fighting now. Remember, what you think is your greatest weakness is your greatest strength here." Pondera disappeared.

Naruto could only see afterimages of the man, then he felt the cold, metal chain wrap around his entire body. Within the span of only twenty milliseconds, Naruto fell to the floor, completely cocooned within the chain.

Pondera reappeared in front of the fallen Naruto. "You cannot defeat me, for you fight like a devil. There's one thing that always amazed me about humans. They are able to overcome any challenge, as long as they have the means to do it, and the conviction."

Naruto snorted. "Humans are weak, pathetic creatures."

"Are they now?" Pondera smirked, he could almost see the gears turning in the boy's head.

'Humans...weakness...That's it!' Naruto looked up at Pondera, who was watching him with an amused smirk.

'I guess he finally gets it.' the Guardian of Balance thought.

Naruto had figured out that Pondera controlled his chains via chakra, so he did the same. When he was forced to drop the weapon, he had the wherewithal to keep a single chakra string attached to the chain.

Using the technique perfecting by Sunagakure puppeteers, Naruto twitched his finger, bringing the chain to life. The spiked tip shot from the ground, into its original owner's back, and through his heart.

Pondera fell to his knees, releasing control of his chain and allowing Naruto to escape.

"Defeated...with my own weapon...How ironic...this is exactly how I was defeated the first time." Pondera chuckled, blood spilling from his mouth.

Naruto stood in front of the defeated Guardian. "Well, I guess I win." a bright blue ball of chaotic chakra formed in his right hand, then sank into it.

Pondera nodded. "That you do, Namikaze Naruto, that you do." Pondera smiled before his entire torso was nearly blown away by Naruto's Rasen Shottogan.

Naruto suddenly stood ridged and grunted in pain as his demonic chakra returned.

"Ahh." Naruto sighed, it was good to be a Halfling again.

Pondera, who, somehow, was still alive, chuckled. "Remember to train your human side regularly. I am not the only opponent you will face that has the ability to suppress your demon side."

Naruto snarled at Pondera. "What now?"

"Nothing like that. I am finished, defeated for the first time in nearly five millennia. You have regained your balance, and I deem you worthy to wield the power of the Guardians, as well as the Key of Fire."

Naruto nodded, calling the Black Soul to him, then picking up Pondera's lost chain and wrapping it around his torso from shoulder to hip. "You don't mind if I keep this, right?" he asked.

Pondera laughed again. "Not at all. Not many people in this world use battle chains anymore. It will be interesting to see what you do with it. The souls of the Nine Guardians are now yours to command. Call for us, and we will aid you in any and every way we can."

"So, do I sign a contract, or something?" Naruto asked.

"No, you already have our power at your command. Remember when I shot you with that beam? I did more than just suppress your demon side, I gave you our summoning contract."

Naruto's eyes widened behind his now repaired mask. "You let me win?" he hissed.

"No, I just knew you were going to. In defeating me, you have also released my soul from this horrid pit. And, in return, I am yours to command until the end of days. Now then, it is time for your next, and final, trial; the Trial of Will."

Naruto shook his head. "What, testing my will to survive, or some crap like that?"

Pondera laughed. "Half correct. This trial will not only test your own will to survive, but your will to ensure the survival of others..."

Naruto's eyes widened. 'Oh no...' "What have you done?"

"Things were already set into motion the moment you defeated me. A demon was released from a special seal right after my heart was pierced. It is one of the most powerful demons the Namikaze clan ever created, second only to the last demon they made before they met their doom. You must hurry if you wish to save the ones you care about. You get two clues for this one, but the first was within the inscription on the door when you first came in. Here is your final clue: Even the darkest night will yield to the brightest light. Control and conquer, and all will survive." with that, Pondera's body turned to stone, then crumbled into dust. The dust was then picked up by an invisible force and carried to the tenth podium, where it took the shape of a robed Pondera with one spiked chain dangling from his sleeve.

Naruto smirked, then turned to the entrance door and bolted out, desperately hoping to get to his newfound friends before the demon did.

(Topside: Namikaze Compound Gate)

Mitara, Inaro, Isaro, Anko, and Hinata stood in front of the gates to the massive compound that was, apparently, all Naruto's.

"What in Kami-sama's name?" Mitara gasped.

Inaro and Isaro just stood before the towering gate, slack-jawed, and staring at the huge structure in awe.

"Naruto...lives _here_?" Inaro said incredulously.

"According to the official documents Hokage-sama showed us, he does." Mitara said, his voice still holding to tone of awe and admiration.

"I can see how he would be pissed, I'd be mad too if I didn't get my mansion." Anko said.

Hinata just stared, her eyes the size of saucers. "This place...is bigger than both houses of my clan combined!"

After a few more minutes of staring, the group walked forward cautiously. The Sandaime had told them of the seal the Yondaime put around the compound, and what it did if it was touched.

But, to their surprise, they were able to pass through the gate without incident. Once on the other side, they stared in wonderment again. The place was bigger than any of them had imagined! How something as large as this had remained hidden from everyone for so long, since the founding of Konoha apparently, was a mystery to them. The Namikaze were once the most powerful clan in Konoha, and yet very few people knew about them. Everyone thought the Uchiha and the Hyūga ran things in that respect, but they didn't know that the Namikaze were the ones in the shadows, secretly controlling whatever they wanted.

Since the founding of Konoha, almost ninety years ago, the Namikaze remained hidden and secretive. You would be lucky to even catch a brief glimpse of one of their number during the day. They conducted most of their activities at night, which was deemed suspicious by most, but deemed the signs of good shinobi by others. Many just chalked it up to the Namikaze being overly paranoid, and let the subject drop.

"So, where are we supposed to go?" Anko asked.

"I think we should check out the tower first." Mitara said. He didn't know why, but he had a feeling that Naruto was in there.

"Fine with me." Inaro said, unsheathing his standard ANBU katana. The Hokage had told them of the creatures that lurked within the walls of the compound.

Isaro followed his brother's example and unsheathed his sword as well. Something about this place just wasn't right. Even if he hadn't talked to Sarutobi, he still would have known this place wasn't normal, by any means.

Anko took out two of her special, elongated kunai and held them at the ready. The Third had told them that the creatures that lurked here loved to attack from the shadows, so they only came out at night. It was three o' clock in the morning, and the sky was pitch black, with the full moon hidden behind dense clouds.

Hinata took out two daggers that Anko had talked her into buying, insisting that she learned to use a weapon other than kunai and shuriken. She was still learning the basics of dual-blade Kenjutsu, but she was learning fast.

As they walked towards the tower, they saw the destruction that Naruto's Blackfire Dragon had caused.

"Yep, Naruto's been here." Mitara muttered. He had trained with Naruto before, and knew just what kind of damage he could do to both his opponent and the surrounding area.

When the reached the entrance to the tower, they instinctively knew something was wrong. Their suspicions were confirmed when the huge door swung open by itself, as if they were being invited in.

"I guess someone's been expecting us." Anko grinned.

"It would seem so." Mitara narrowed his eyes behind his mask.

"Let's get going! The sooner we find 'Ruto, the sooner we can leave!" Isaro said, looking over his shoulder.

Mitara nodded to Anko and they walked in. Only Hinata jumped when the door slammed shut behind them, trapping them in the pitch black room.

"Hinata, use your Byakugan to see what's going on! You too, Mitara!" Anko barked out orders, despite the fact that Mitara was the designated leader of the mission.

"Yeah, yeah, don't get your panties in a bunch." Mitara mumbled, then thought, 'Though, I'll bet they'd look nice on my bedroom floor...or the ceiling fan...' he blushed and giggled perversely, earning him a smack from Anko.

"...You know I wear a thong, Mitara-kun." Anko grinned. "Yeah, that's right, I saw you watching me that day."

Mitara just distanced himself from the snake woman and activated his Eagle Eye. It enabled him to see in the dark, but everything was black, white, or grey in color.

"I-I don't see a-anything, Anko-sensei." Hinata stuttered, scared out of her mind at the moment. From the story the Hokage had told them, she was fairly certain she didn't really want to see what was going to eat her before she died. 'Naruto-kun...where are you?'

_"My, my, more intruders? What do you want?" _the same disembodied voice that Naruto and his group talked to called out.

"Who's there? Show yourself!" Mitara whirled around, trying to find the owner of the voice.

_"I couldn't show myself to you, even if I wanted to, so tough shit there. Why are you here?"_ the voice went from bored to annoyed in a matter of seconds.

"We're here for Namikaze Naruto and the group that came here with him!" Anko shouted.

The voice took on an angry tone. _"Stop calling that...that...monster a Namikaze! The last member of that clan died almost thirteen years ago! And don't you dare say that the monster I sent to the pit was related to _him_!"_

The group didn't like the sound of that at all.

"What did you do to Naruto-kun?" Hinata, surprisingly, screamed.

The voice chuckled maliciously. _"What, are you fond of him? Then don't worry, you'll be joining him soon enough!" _

The floor dropped out from beneath them and they fell into the same pit Naruto and his group had before.

(Meanwhile, With Zabuza And The Others)

Zabuza was bored out of his skull. He and the others had been waiting for Naruto for nearly three hours!

'Damn, I wish I had've brought that ribcage with me...or at least the skulls.' the swordsman thought, then kicked a pebble absentmindedly.

The rock flew through the air, hitting Kurohane in the head and causing her to fall off of the rock she was precariously balancing on. With her meditation rudely interrupted, the summon was furious. The whole "inner peace" thing wasn't her forte, so when she finally found hers, she absolutely hated to be awakened from her trance.

Kurohane picked up the rock and swung her scythe, hitting the stone with the blade and sending it on a crash course with Zabuza's forehead.

Zabuza had no idea what had happened. One second everything was fine, then he blinked, then he was on his ass with a bleeding forehead.

"What...happened...?" Zabuza moaned.

Kurohane just smirked and tried to resume her meditation.

Haku giggled, but kept her mouth shut. She had seen what Zabuza had done, and thought he deserved what he got for being so inconsiderate with his rock-kicking.

The Orasu twins laughed openly at their former leader's pain, also believing that he deserved it.

Seizonsha was asleep, having tired herself out while trying to find something to entertain herself in her brother's absence.

Zabuza grumbled about conspiracies against him, then leaned against the far wall, giving himself a perfect range of sight to avoid any more flying objects.

As soon as the man's back touched the wall, he was blasted away as something broke through the wall from the other side.

Everyone got into their battle positions, even the now awakened Seizonsha, and waited for the dust to clear so they could see their attacker.

"Is everyone alright?" Naruto's voice called out from within the dust cloud.

They all gave a sigh of relief. "Naruto-kun, don't scare us like that!" Haku yelled.

Naruto stepped out of the cloud and scanned the area for anything out of the ordinary. He saw nothing, other than the fact that Zabuza was bleeding, that was cause for alarm.

"What happened to you?" he pointed at the older swordsman.

Zabuza glared at Kurohane. "I'm not sure, but I have a good idea..."

"That isn't important right now, what is, however, is what happened to you." Kurohane quickly changed the subject.

Everyone looked at the boy, as they too wanted to know what had happened after the first door had shut.

"I passed the trials, I fought a Guardian, and now I'm here to save you from the demon...which doesn't seem to be here...yet."

Everyone sweatdropped at the rushed answer. "What's wrong with you? And what's this demon you're talking about?" Zabuza scratched his head.

"After I defeated the Guardian, he told me of the final trial, the Trial of Will. He said it was to test my will to ensure the survival of others, as well as myself. He told me that a powerful demon was released from a seal after I beat him, and I assumed that it was going to come after you all. But it apparently hasn't shown up yet...so I suggest we get moving, instead of waiting for it." Naruto walked to the entrance and opened the door to the hallway, prompting the others to follow.

Naruto may have looked calm and collected on the outside, but inside, his mind was racing.

'I don't get it! If the demon is as powerful as Pondera said it is, then shouldn't it have been here by now? And what was the first clue?' Naruto racked his brain for answers.

"Say, Naruto-kun, do you think the Hokage will send someone to look for us if we don't come back?" Haku asked. "I mean, we aren't official ninjas of this village until morning, so I assume he'd have someone monitoring us."

Then it hit Naruto like a train. '"Death will slay, with blades from below, those of false heritage."' he remembered the inscription of the door. 'If the demon isn't going for us, then it must be going for someone else on the surface...Haku's probably right, the Old Man probably did send someone...But I doubt he told anyone that he knows he can't trust, so...ANBU Squad Eighteen!'

Naruto suddenly whirled on his heel and took off down the hallway in the direction of the zombie chamber.

"Naruto-kun, what's wrong?" Kurohane asked, trying to keep up with Naruto's frantic speed.

"We're going back up!" was all Naruto yelled back.

As they reached the chamber, Naruto could feel his control over Darkness returning to him. Speeding across the chamber and into the spike pit, Naruto heard screaming and looked up, only to see five people on a collision course with the deadly metal spears.

Forming another platform from solidified shadows, Naruto caught the would-be impalement victims. When he saw who they were, he rose an eyebrow in curiosity.

"Why are all of you here? I expected Mitara-san, Inaro-san, and Isaro-san. But you two, Anko-san, Hinata-san, should have no reason to be here."

Anko looked down and saw Naruto's hunter mask. "Hi, Naru-chan! Old Man Hokage sent us here to look for ya'! And shame on you for not telling us you had a house this big!" Anko shook her fist at Naruto.

"Great." Naruto mumbled. "Still doesn't explain why Hinata-san's here."

Said Hyūga heiress poked her head over the side of the platform and looked down at Naruto, poking her fingers together in her classic style.

"Um...H-hi Naruto-k-kun...A-Anko-sensei brought m-me along..." she blushed.

Naruto just nodded, then looked behind himself to his group, then back up to Anko's group.

"Naruto-kun, who are they?" Kurohane asked.

Hinata stiffened. Someone had just called _her_ Naruto-kun "Naruto-kun"! She could feel the underlying emotions in the girl's voice as she spoke, and knew that she also had a thing for the masked boy. 'No...He's MINE!' she thought.

Naruto's cloak suddenly went insane, tendrils whipping about in random directions. One grabbed on to a spike and bent it into a slight curve, making it look like a giant claw.

Naruto saw this and his eyes widened. "Shit! Climb, NOW!" he jumped over the platform and ran up the wall, followed by the others.

Normally, Hinata would have gaped at someone being able to defy gravity like everyone around her was doing, but Anko had taught her how to cling to surfaces as her very first lesson. So she followed her crush and his group upwards as well.

"Naruto, why are we running?" Mitara asked.

"You'll find out in a few seconds, until then, FUCKING SHIFT IT!" Naruto picked up speed.

The others could keep up, but Hinata was fast getting left behind. This didn't go unnoticed by Naruto, who slowed down until he was beside her, allowing the others to pass him.

"You really need to work on your speed." the boy said before picking the girl up bridal style and running ahead again.

Hinata just "Eep"ed, but didn't protest. She was too busy trying to get the perverted thoughts out of her head.

"Mmm, Naruto-kun smells so good..." Inner Hinata whispered huskily.

'Yes...he does...No, bad Hinata!' the girl mentally slapped herself.

"Go on, girl, take a nice, long whiff of him. Memorize that scent, 'cause once we bag him, we're gonna be waking up to it every morning!"

Was it possible for voices in your head to masturbate? If so, Hinata was sure that's what hers was doing.

'Whatever you're doing in there, stop it! Judging by Naruto-kun's actions, I'd say this is a pretty serious situation. So stop distracting me already!' Hinata mentally shouted to her inner self.

Inner Hinata went silent, causing Outer Hinata to give a sigh of relief.

While running up the wall, Naruto saw that the trapdoor to the spike pit was closed again.

"Zabuza, take her, I'm going to make an exit." Naruto handed Hinata to Zabuza, then charged a Rasengan in his right hand.

Naruto rocketed up the wall and smashed the spinning sphere of condensed chakra into the concrete and steel that made up the trapdoor. The ball chewed through the material like it was wet tissue, drilling a large hole for about two feet before breaking through the floor at the surface.

Naruto and the others jumped through said hole and landed on the floor, most panting from exertion. Only Naruto and Hinata felt no need to catch their breaths, as Naruto that wasn't even a light workout for Naruto, and Hinata had been carried most of the way up.

Looking around, they saw the room was now well lit with lights from the overhead crystal chandelier and the fluorescent light bulbs that hung from the large marble pillars that lined the long black carpet that led to the main stairway. Two more hallways branched off next to the large stairway, leading to two doors at the end, presumably to the dining hall, if it was anything like other mansions. At the top of the stairway was another small hallway with doors at both ends, most likely leading to the bedrooms.

_"Dammit, how are you still alive?"_ the disembodied voice that had caused the entire mess snarled.

Naruto just shrugged. "You didn't think a spike pit, some zombie lizards, and a demon could stop me, did you?"

_"...You lost me after the spike pit..."_ the voice said.

The ANBU, Anko, and Hinata nodded. "Same here."

"I'll tell you later, but right now..." Naruto didn't even finish his sentence before the walls and floor started to shake.

"An earthquake?" Mitara asked.

Naruto shook his head. "No. I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that it's something big, mean, and not very happy about being awakened."

As if to confirm Naruto's statement, the shaking intensified. Whatever the hell was coming was getting closer to the surface.

Naruto's cloak went crazy again and he shouted, "On the ceiling, now!" he grabbed Hinata, assuming that she couldn't jump that high, and propelled them both onto the ceiling with on powerful leap.

The others just took to dashing up nearby walls and waiting for whatever was coming.

_"What the hell are you idiots doing?"_ the voice shouted.

Just at the words left it, a gigantic, black claw shot out of the floor, followed by four more. The floor exploded in a huge cloud of pulverized stone. Chunks of concrete and metal flew everywhere, nearly impaling more than a few of the shinobi present.

A monstrous roar sounded as the dust settled, revealing the mammoth creature that had crawled out of the pit.

It looked like a huge, armored spider. Eight massive, clawed legs sprouting from its back instead of its sides, and a long, armored tail that appeared to have a large stinger attached at the end. This giant spider/scorpion had a head that almost resembled a human's, if it didn't have about twenty glowing eyes and a huge mouth full of enormous, dagger-like teeth. It also seemed to be wearing some kind of helmet, but it seemed to serve no real purpose other than protection.

(6)

The beast's tail thrashed about, reflecting its owner's anger.

**"Who has dared to disturb my slumber?" **the monster rumbled, surprising all present with its ability to speak in human tongue.

_"You...You've awakened the Corpser? You fools, it'll destroy the entire compound!" _the voice shrieked, once again losing the masculine tone it held earlier.

The demon, apparently called a Corpser, scanned the area for the voice. **"I can hear the prey...but I cannot see the prey...Where is the prey?"** the creature muttered to itself.

The others nearly sighed in relief when it couldn't find them, but they didn't dare make a single sound. Naruto, however, wasn't fooled. Something told him that the beast knew where they were, and was just trying to lull them into a false sense of security. He saw the demon give a slight incline of its head in their direction, then saw its barbed tail twitch.

"SCATTER!" Naruto suddenly shouted.

The group did exactly that, and not a second too soon, as the Corpser's tail shot up and impaled the ceiling.

The demon roared and ripped its tail from the ceiling before doing a three-hundred and sixty degree turn, knocking down the marble pillars that lined the great room. Spying a potential victim with one of its eyes, the demon lashed out with one of its great claws, but missed, as the human was too quick for the lumbering giant.

The Corpser howled in frustration, then anger when it was hit in the back by a large fireball.

**"Fire? I have dwelled within the center of this planet for thousands of years! That little torch of yours felt quite pleasant compared to the frigid air up here." **the beast laughed at Naruto's attempts to harm it.

Naruto simply growled and tried something else.

"Kaze no Yaiba!" spontaneous winds began to blow around the great hall, causing the humanoids to take cover.

Sparks flew from random places along the Corpser's body as the wind blades tried to do their job, but ultimately had no effect.

The demon laughed again, seemingly enjoying Naruto's efforts. **"Your mastery of the elements is impressive, youngling, but you will have to do much better than that to even scratch my natural armor! I've lived under unimaginable amounts of pressure underneath the Earth's crust, causing my body to harden to the point where only a diamond could take more punishment!"**

Naruto snorted as he landed on the floor before the great monster, which eyed him in amusement.

"So, cutting it won't work...But, what about blunt-force damage? Wind Release: Great Breakthrough!" Naruto breathed out a large ball of compressed air and launched it into the Corpser's face, causing it to rear back and roar in pain.

The others saw this and smirked, it seemed that the demon had a weak spot after all. But their smirks were wiped off of their faces when Naruto was smacked into, and nearly through, a wall.

The Corpser laughed again. **"Clever little insect. My armor is impenetrable! But, seeing as how you obviously don't want to take my word for it, I'm going to give you three attacks. If you cause no damage to me, then I will devour everyone here, and force you to watch as I chew their mangled corpses into a fine mush." **the demon cackled madly.

Naruto growled and ran through a sequence of demon seals. "Demon Skill: Blackfire Dragon!" he instantly broke out his strongest attack at full power.

The obsidian dragon roared and lurched forward, crashing into the Corpser and causing a massive explosion. The concussive force of the attack demolished the entranceway and the wall around it, blowing a huge hole in the side of the tower.

The explosion also destroyed the rest of the pillars, leaving the other combatants nowhere to go but out to avoid the blast. After taking cover from the flying and falling debris, Zabuza and the others peeked out from their hiding places, some believing that Naruto had killed, or at least injured, the demon, but the rest knew it would take more than that. If anything, Naruto got in a surprise shot.

Deep, rumbling laughter confirmed the fears of the senior shinobi.

**"Once again, I commend you for your skills, youngling. That packed a lot more power than I expected, but I felt little more than a slight pinch. Try again, boy!" **the Corpser chuckled.

Naruto growled as the creature mocked him. 'Shit, that was my strongest technique! What now?...Hmm, the Rasengan has had success against armored enemies before, so why not now?' Naruto smirked, then formed two Rasengan in his hands. 'Let's see how you like this, you ugly bastard!'

The Corpser looked at the twin spheres of chakra and growled.

**'So, this is the spawn of the human that sealed me, eh? Well, I guess I could perform one **_**good**_** deed in my existence. I'll reunite father and son!' **the demonic arachnid cackled mentally.

The Corpser was expecting a head-on rush from the boy, not knowing that he was a highly trained killer that never rushed into anything without thinking. So imagine the demon's surprise when the boy suddenly disappeared from view.

**"What the...?"** the giant spider mumbled, every one of its eyes swerving in different directions, like a chameleon. **"Where did he GAAAHHH!"** the behemoth was suddenly lifted from the ground and thrown through the wall beside it.

Naruto landed near the wall opposite of the one he had just destroyed, panting from exertion. Having not completely recovered from his battle with Pondera, he had to admit that he wasn't up to fighting something like this demon by himself. Even at full power, the Corpser could potentially wipe the floor with him...that is, if it could catch him.

'Maybe that got h-!' Naruto's thoughts were cut short as ten laser beams, about the same width as a human arm, shot out of the cloud of dust that had been kicked up from the Corpser's fall. The laser seemed to converge as one before striking Naruto dead-center in the chest, sending him through the wall behind him.

**"You little rat, that actually hurt me! But, it also counted as two attacks, so it's my turn now!"** the demon stalked through the hole in the wall, smoke rising from its eyes, indicating where the lasers had come from.

Before it could continue after its prey, the crystal chandelier hanging above fell on its head, causing it to growl and look up, only to get a Water Dragon to the neck, courtesy of Zabuza.

"Hey, Legs, you fight him, you fight all of us!" Anko shouted from her position on the ceiling, where she had broken the chain holding the chandelier up.

The Corpser hissed, it absolutely _despised_ that name. **"Don't...call me that...human." **

"What's the matter, _Legs_, the big bad demon spider can't take a little joke?" Anko mocked.

The Corpser's tail spasmed, flailing about and hitting anything too slow to avoid it, which would have been Hinata if Mitara hadn't rushed in at the last second and saved her.

The demon's eyes began to glow as a green foam gathered at the corners of the creature's mouth.

**"VILE HUMAN FILTH, I WILL SHOW YOU YOUR PLACE AT THE BOTTOM OF THE FOOD CHAIN!"** the demon raged, firing off lasers in every direction, not caring what it hit, as long as it was human.

The ones that were actually fighting the monster; Zabuza, Anko, Mitara, Inaro, Isaro, and Kurohane, had nothing to really worry about from the lasers. But the ones providing supporting fire; Haku, Seizonsha, Hinata, Kiriko, and Chigusa, had to move faster than they ever had in their lives. For Haku, it wasn't much of a problem, but for others, i.e. Hinata, it was one of the most difficult things they'd ever had to do.

The Corpser became more and more enraged with the humans' futile attempts at harming it.

After nearly twenty minutes of combat, the mortals were becoming tired. Even the stamina freaks of the group were at their limits, and close to collapsing.

The demon, on the other hand, seemed to be completely unharmed. Roaring and screeching more out of anger than pain. It seemed to just be annoyed and somewhat amused by the humans' attacks.

The tower was in shambles, having been all but leveled by errant techniques, some areas having even been set ablaze by the Corpser's lasers. Even the upper levels hadn't been safe from the damage caused by the small-scale war.

**"So, the humans were all talk, just as I thought."** it looked around and saw an unconscious Hinata laying on her back near him. **"She's the weakest out of you all, even the canine outranks her! I think I'll eat her first, just to put her out of her misery."** the Corpser chuckled evilly and it slowly stalked forward.

Naruto, who had been knocked out from the Corpser's initial laser attack, was now inside of his mindscape, looking for a certain demon.

"I know you're here, I can feel your presence." Naruto growled, he was not in the mood for the dark knight's games.

_"So, you've finally come crawling back to me to finish yet another fight that you can't win. What a surprise!"_ Neo-Nightmare walked out of the shadows in the smug stride, his black eyes gleaming with amusement. _"I told you I was gonna get to come out and play again!"_ he went to walk passed Naruto to take over his body, but was stopped by Naruto's hand.

"Yes, I'm going to need your power to defeat this demon, but things are going to go my way this time. The others are in danger, and I'm their only hope."

Neo-Nightmare scoffed. _"So? I'm gonna kill them anyway, so why does them being in danger matter? And what did I tell you about ordering me around? Do I have to remind you who's the boss here?"_

Naruto growled. "No, I know who I am...But I don't really know who you are. I don't really know what you are either, but it is, at this time, irrelevant. I just want to know who you are."

_"Oh, please forgive my rudeness, Naruto-_sama_. You may call me Noctis: The Obsidian Knight."_ Noctis mock bowed.(7)

Naruto snorted. "Well, now I know what to yell when I want you to shut up. I'll be taking your power, and my friend here..." Nightmare came up behind Noctis and held him in a bearhug, "will be restraining you while I do so."

Nightmare chuckled as Noctis began to struggle uselessly. _"That's right, and then I'm gonna lock you away, somewhere nice and isolated. I'll let you out when you become more cooperative...At least, I'll think about letting you out."_

Noctis roared in outrage. _"You bastards, you can't do this!"_

Naruto rammed his hand through Noctis' chest. "Oh, but we can, and we are. This is my mind, Noctis, and I decide what happens here!" black fluid leaked from the wound in the knight's chest, slowly crawling up Naruto's arm and solidifying into armor identical to Noctis'.

Eventually Naruto pulled his now armored hand free, having taken everything from Noctis, who fell limp in Nightmare's arms. He had somehow managed to keep his armor, but it looked like its weight was now just a burden on him.

Looking Noctis in the eyes, Naruto smirked. _"Well, now that I've taken your power, I think I'm gonna take your name, too. 'Noctis', it has a nice ring to it, don't you agree?"_

Noctis hissed weakly. _"I'll...get you...for this...Naruto..."_

Naruto shook his head. _"No, you won't."_ he looked at Nightmare and nodded.

Nightmare nodded back and dragged Noctis away, ignoring his weak protests and pathetic attempts at resistance.

Naruto chuckled darkly as he felt the power of the Soul Edge course through his body.

_'Is this what it felt like for Nightmare for all those centuries? How did he get tired of this?'_

A phantom whisper echoed through Naruto's mind.

_"Believe me, kid, after that long, you realize that it's not all that great. Don't let it overwhelm you, as it did all the others."_

Naruto, not being one to ignore the advise and teachings of his elders, took Nightmare's words to heart, keeping his power trip in check. Closing his eyes and sighing deeply, Naruto calmed himself.

He didn't think he'd be able to pull this off, even with Nightmare's help. How he had overcome something so much more powerful than himself was beyond him. What he didn't know was that one of the most powerful human emotions drove him to do what he did and allowed him to overcome Noctis' influence, thus conquering the Soul Edge.

It was an emotion that had long since left Naruto, and that he had forgotten about. It was also something that was awakened by Noctis' presence in his mind. A remnant of Naruto's childhood that still remained somewhere in the deepest reaches of his heart.

Reaching out with his senses, Naruto detected the vital signs of his precious people, finding that most of them were weak. But one was weaker than the rest, and it was being approached by the largest vital sign.

Naruto instantly knew who it was. _"Hinata..."_

Back in the outside world, the Corpser dropped its head low, preparing to snap Hinata up in its massive jaws.

It suddenly roared in pain and thrashed about, trying to rid itself of what was causing such terrible agony.

Though it couldn't see it, the cause of the pain was a huge, serrated zanbatō that was lodged in the first joint that connected one of the legs to the thorax. The acidic poison seeping into its system was making the Corpser weaker by the minute, and making the leg all but useless.

The demon was then knocked aside by a black blur crashing into its head.

_"Leave them alone, your fight is with me now."_ Naruto, as Noctis now, landed beside Hinata's prone form, Soul Edge in hand, and battle chain wrapped around his left arm.

All of the commotion, and her sense of self-preservation, had awoken Hinata, who was now staring at the looming form of her demonic savior.

"N-N-Naruto-kun?" she ventured tentatively.

Naruto looked down at the girl. _"...Not at the moment. For now, I am Noctis."_ was all the knight said, before bringing his sword up to block another laser blast from the Corpser.

Said demon snarled in anger. **"You...You have the same energy as the boy...But yours is much more...sinister than his. You are a true demon, no?"**

Naruto nodded, hoisting his huge blade upon his shoulder. _"You've toyed with the humans long enough. Let's see how you deal with something on your own level."_

The Corpser laughed. **"Point me in his direction, and I'll take him on."**

Naruto snorted. _"A giant bug with a sense of humor, great. Come on, _Legs_, let's dance!"_

The Corpser instantly stopped laughing and roared. **"DON'T CALL ME THAT!"**

The demon spider swiped one of its claws at Naruto, only for him to catch the claw and flip the titan over his head and smash it into the ground.

The Corpser glared at the demon knight as he righted itself, tail lashing like a bladed whip in the air.

Naruto narrowed his eyes at the creature, what was it up to?

The beast turned its head, ever so slightly, towards Hinata.

Naruto saw this and his eyes widened. _'No...'_

This momentary distraction gave the Corpser just enough time to smack Naruto aside and send its tail speeding towards the girl, who had just gotten to her feet.

Hinata's eyes widened as she saw the blade coming at her, but she couldn't avoid it, and there was no one to save her this time. The blade pierced her belly and lifted her into the air. The girl coughed up copious amounts of blood, desperately clawing at the spear-like barb in her stomach, doing nothing but causing herself more pain.

Naruto could only look on in horror as the Hyūga heiress was skewered. He jumped to his feet and tried to reach her, but then he himself was impaled by one of the Corpser's claws and staked to a wall.

Naruto seemed to ignore the claw and tried to struggle against it to reach Hinata.

The Corpser saw this and laughed maniacally. **"You fight so hard to save these worthless humans, and see where it has gotten you? You are almost as weak as they are. Charging in with reckless abandon just to save one of them from death? HA! The very notion is laughable for any self-respecting demon! I can see the hidden power within you, the untapped potential...but your weakness keeps that power at bay. I will now do you a favor, and rid you of that weakness!"** the arachnid flicked its tail, sending Hinata into a wall...at least it would have if not for Mitara catching the girl.

"ISARO! You're the medic, get your ass over here!" the eagle ANBU shouted.

Naruto stopped struggling and just stared, almost blankly, at the scene before him.

"Shit, she's going into shock!" Isaro cursed as Hinata went into violent convulsions, spitting up more blood.

He didn't know why, but the scene was familiar to Naruto. It was like he had seen it before, just with different people. His heart clenched as the pain from both experiences hit him full-on, and he screamed.

The Corpser looked at the knight. **"What? Don't tell me you actually care for that **_**thing**_**? Even to something as low as the human species, she is a disgrace! I doubt I've ever laid eyes on a human as pitiful has her, and that's saying a lot. Though, as a disgrace to demons, I suppose you would be attached to her."**

Noctis then went silent and let his head drop as he went limp. He had failed. He didn't know how, but he felt as if he had just broken a vow that he had made, like he had betrayed Hinata's trust.

_"Don't worry, Hinata-chan, I'll protect you."_ words that Naruto didn't remember speaking echoed in his mind.

He could tell it was his voice, probably from when he was six. When it still had the monotonous tone, but it still carried a bit of emotion. It was from before the time when Kyuubi started to truly train him.

_"That's a promise!" _the voice finished.

Naruto's eyes widened as realization hit him.

_'That promise...I made it just after I saved her from those Kumo-nin six years ago...I broke it...I failed to protect her...How could I have forgotten about that? Have I..really sunk that low?'_ black and purple chakra began to bubble out from Naruto's body. _'No...I haven't failed yet...I refuse to fail!'_ he glared at the Corpser.

The demon cocked its massive head to the side. **"Oh? Have I made you angry? Have I slain the one you **_**loved**_**? Hmph, you are weaker than I thought. It seems the only way to rid you of your weakness is to kill them all. I will have to break you, mind, body, and soul!" **it turned its head towards the others, eyes glowing bright orange as it charged them for another volley of laser fire.

_"...I won't fail...I can't fail...You won't stop me, no one will..."_ Naruto's eyes glowed with unholy fury. _"You have harmed someone that I care for, and have caused me break a promise...For that, you must be...ANNIHILATED!"_ Naruto raised his right fist, then brought it crashing down on the claw that impaled him, shattering it like glass.

The Corpser shrieked in pain and stumbled back. **"WHAT? You can't have broken by claw, it isn't possible! I've fought opponents stronger than you that couldn't even scratch me! WHAT ARE YOU!"**

The Soul Edge appeared in Naruto's outstretched hand, and even it seemed to be enraged. The sword's eye leveled a glare on the Corpser carrying an ungodly malice.

Naruto spoke, his already altered voice distorted even more by his rage.

_**"I...am the one who is going to tear you apart...I am the one who will devour your soul...I am the one who will bathe in your blood...I am your executioner."**_

XXXX

And it is done!

Once again, sorry about the lack of citrus(lemons/limes). But nothing will stop me from putting it in the next chapter. And, to make up from the delay on it, I'm going to make it a bit longer than I had originally planned.

Well, now that the benchmark has been reached, I'll be focusing on character interaction and relationships more. There will still be action, but I'll try to balance it out with the romance.

But, I remind you all, this is NOT a romantic fic, this is action/adventure with a side order of humor and romance.

And I have introduced my version of the Corpser from Gears of War. Congratulations to Geararm for guessing that I was going to put the Corpser in my story!

The Guardians were something I thought up on a whim. I'm not even sure how I got the idea, but I think they're a nice addition to the fic. The Latin names were something I just thought was cool.

As you can tell, I'll be using a lot of things from my favorite games and movies, even lines from my favorite songs, but this will never be a crossover fic.

(1): It's the human/shark hybrid from Peter Benchley's Creature, or White Shark if you're looking for the book. Google it to see a proper image, but mines is about three feet taller and has the blades in place of fins.

(2): It's the Revenant from Doom 3, Google it if you don't know. The cannons shoot fireballs, not rockets, in this fic.

(3): This is Karl Ruprecht Kroenen from the Hellboy movie. He's probably known better as the "Clockwork Ninja", due to the fact that he has a mechanical heart and left hand that operates with gears. Again, Google him if you haven't seen the movie.

(4): This is for the sake of the story only. By no means do I see sharks as nothing but mindless killing machines.

(5): To get a good visual, think of the eyes of the vampires in the Underworld movies, but slitted like a cat's.

(6): It's the Gears of War Corpser with a few of my personal modifications. No mechanical backpack thing, and I added the tail barb of a scorpion. thought it's really more like the spear on the Xenomorphs' tails in the Alien series. I got rid of the weird, caterpillar-like underbody, as it took away from the awesomeness of the monster. I also gave it the head of a Brumak, and took away the two arms that made it look a little too human for my tastes. I wanted to make it look more like a spider than a human/arachnid hybrid from a cheap horror movie. I don't own Gears of War either.

(7): You didn't think I was going to call him "Neo-Nightmare" throughout the entire story, did you?

Well, until next time...

Jason Out!


	21. When Life Gives You Lemons

I'm back, and I'm here with chapter twenty-one!

I'm truly sorry for the delay, but some idiot ran into a telephone pole down the road from my home and the city sent out some guys to replace it. They cut off my power right when I was nearly done with this, and I hadn't saved it, so I had to start all over once they fixed everything. But, in their rush to get it done before the blizzard hit, they cut my phone lines, and didn't reconnect them before they left! So my DSL connection was shot.

Then I called AT&T to come and fix it. Well, they went to the wrong house twice, then when they did come I wasn't home. They said they needed access to the basement to figure out what was wrong. PRETTY DAMN OBVIOUS WITH THE SAGGING WIRES HANGING OFF THE HOUSE!

So I had to make another appointment, for which they didn't appear until three days later. Then they walked around the back, saw the wires, and said that it was a simple fix, and that they DIDN'T NEED ACCESS TO THE BASEMENT! I asked them if they needed to turn the power off to fix it, they said no...Then cut it off twenty minutes later, while I was working on this again. So that's twice I've lost my progress!

They didn't bother to cut the power back on before they left either. So I had to make yet another appointment and wait until the next MORNING for them to fix it. Well, they came...at seven-thirty in the EVENING! So every time I've replied to PMs and reviews had been at the library or a friend's house.

And now I'm back, and I can honestly say that I'll never trust a phone company again.

The promised lemon is here, and it's a doozy, if I do say so myself.

Enjoy, my loyal readers, and thank you for waiting!

XXXX

The Corpser glared and snarled. **"Is that so? Even with your newfound power, you'd need an entire army to even stand a chance!"**

Naruto growled. _**"Don't tempt me."**_

As the two demons faced off, Isaro tried to stabilize Hinata. But it was no use. She had lost too much blood, and her internal injuries were too much for any lone medic, no matter how skilled and experienced, to heal. All he could do was prolong her life and hope they could get the girl to the hospital. If one field medic couldn't save her, maybe the entire hospital staff could.

Naruto felt something was off. He didn't know what, but he knew there was something wrong with him, and not in a particularly bad sense. He felt stronger, borderline invincible even. This wasn't the rush he felt when transforming into Noctis. No, this was something else entirely.

_"It's the moon."_ Nightmare said.

'What?' Naruto thought to his other tenant in confusion.

_"Oh, right, it was daytime when you came here. Well, there's a full moon tonight."_

'And that matters, why?'

_"Certain demons gain power increases, or decreases, depending on how much light the moon is reflecting, and in what wavelength. You, while in this form, are one of them. Normally your human side would nullify this effect, with the exception of extreme conditions, and you'd never notice anything out of the ordinary. But, as Noctis, you're a hundred percent demon, thus you feel the effects full-on. A full moon causes a moderate power increase and magnified emotional extremes, like rage. A new moon, obviously, doesn't do anything to you. A blue moon will cause your demonic blood to go dormant, rendering you completely human for one night. The red moon has the exact opposite effect, cranking the demon in you up to eleven._

_Normally, you'd be weaker than that big bug. But tonight just isn't his night, so show him the true meaning of pain!"_ Nightmare was also not very happy about the Corpser harming the one he had dubbed "Sex Kitten".

Naruto returned his mind to the battle just in time to avoid being impaled for a second time. He looked at the Corpser's legs and saw that the two he had effectively disabled were semi-functional once again. The joint of the first had healed enough to support the creature's weight again, and the second was growing its clawed tip back.

**"Just stand still and accept your fate, worm. You are still nothing compared to me!"** the Corpser snarled.

Naruto just grunted as he flung his battle chain at one of the creature's legs, using chakra to control in and make it wrap around the appendage. Naruto smirked and ran in between the spider's other legs and under its body. Yanking on the chain resulted in the Corpser's leg being pulled back and under its own body, causing it to flip onto its back, exposing its semi-vulnerable underbelly.

While his opponent was down, Naruto flew through a set of demon seals for a technique he didn't recall ever learning.

_"Summon!"_ Naruto slammed his hand into the ground, causing a large explosion, blanketing Naruto and whatever he had summoned in a cloud of smoke, fire, and ash.

Eleven figures darted out of the cloud, one heading for the group of humans, and the other ten descending upon the incapacitated onigumo(Demon Spider).

Naruto came to a stop near Isaro and the mortally wounded Hinata.

_"What is her condition?"_ Naruto asked his friend.

Isaro turned to look at the knight behind him and tensed. "Who the hell are you?!" he reached for his katana.

_"I'm Naruto! Well...not right now, but that's not the point. What is her condition?"_ Naruto added more force to his words.

Isaro gulped. "I can't stop the bleeding, and she's going into shock. I'm just a field medic! If something like this happened on the battlefield, my training dictates that I end their suffering if I can't get them back to a proper medical facility!"

Naruto narrowed his eyes. _"Then let's get her out of here and to a hospital!"_

"We won't make it! She's already lost way too much blood, the risk of causing further injury by moving her at the speeds it would take to get her there in time is too great." Isaro looked at the girl sadly as she grimace and squirmed in pain.

Naruto looked at the girl as well, and felt like someone had rammed a spear through his heart when he saw her expression.

'No, I won't fail!' the boy-turned-demon steeled his resolve once again.

_"What's the extent of her injuries?"_ maybe he could help to stabilize Hinata until they could get her some real medical attention.

"That thing really did a number on her. The initial strike all but destroyed her small intestine, and her large intestine has been lacerated. I'm fairly certain her lungs are beginning to fill with blood, but I can't do anything to help her. As of now, gravity and our hands are the only things holding her guts in. If I flip her over onto her stomach, then her stomach is going to come out. It was also torn by her own body weight when the creature lifted her, so her stomach acid it also wreaking a fair bit of havoc in there." a violent tremor rocked the entire structure as they saw the Corpser get smashed into the floor by whatever it was fighting at the time.

"As I said before, blood loss is one of the major issues here, as is her internal bleeding. Whatever isn't on the floor right now is bleeding into her organs. The other major issue is her spine and kidneys. Her kidneys were destroyed when she was impaled, and her spine was severed, so she's paralyzed from the waist down. And the cherry on top of the shit sundae: that stinger seemed to have some kind of toxin in it. A powerful one.

So, in short, she's going to die. Either from drowning, blood loss, internal bleeding, the venom, or Kami knows what else. The only thing we can do now is...give her a quick death." Isaro made little effort to suppress the tremor in his voice. 'This girl...It's always the ones who don't deserve it.' he slowly reached for his katana, but was stopped by Naruto.

_"No...don't...I...I'll do it..."_ Naruto felt his guilt tear at his heart, at his very soul. He had failed...He had lied to Hinata, his very first friend. He had vowed to protect her, to never allow harm to come to her. But here she was, about to die in some of the most slow and painful ways imaginable...all because of him.

'Hinata...I'm so sorry.' Naruto tried to say these words, but they wouldn't come out of his mouth. He knew that if he said them, Hinata would forgive him for his failure. But, in his own eyes, Naruto was not worthy of forgiveness. He had broken a promise, one of the most important ones he had ever made.

Making his way to her side, Naruto dragged his blade along the ground lifelessly. The horrible screeching noise causing Hinata to grimace and look at the source of the sound, only to see an armored demon holding a blade above her neck.

"N-Naruto-kun...?" she shuddered, then hacked up more blood.

Hinata looked up at Naruto with teary eyes and a sad and pained smile. She seemed to be resigned to her fate, as she gave a slight nod to Naruto and closed her eyes, awaiting to be beheaded by her "secret" crush.

'I regret only one thing...' Hinata thought as another tears slid down her cheek, mingling with the blood coming from the corner of her mouth. 'I never got to tell you...'

Naruto tried to steady his trembling hands, why was this so hard? He had killed hundreds of people without remorse. Given, they deserved what they got, but it had totally desensitized him to the act of killing. So why was it so hard to snuff out one more human?

'Is it because...she's one of my..."precious people"?' was that what a precious person was? Someone that you could never harm? Someone that you could never strike down, no matter the circumstances ?

Shaking his head to clear out the rampant thoughts, Naruto raised his giant blade over his head, preparing to end the Hyūga heiress' life in one quick, fluid motion, as he had done to many an assailant in the past. But he still couldn't control his shaking, almost causing him to lose his grip on the sword.

He heard a scream off to the side, but didn't bother to look, as he knew what he saw would make him lose whatever nerve he had left.

Anko was fighting to get to Hinata before Naruto could execute her. She didn't know what was going on, but she knew that demon wasn't Naruto, at least not the one she knew.

Mitara and Inaro were holding the Tokubetsu Jōnin back, knowing exactly what Naruto was doing, and why he was doing it. It was standard field medic training: If a shinobi has fallen, and there is no way to save him/her, the present medic-nin must end their suffering with one quick and precise blow, and burn the body afterward. Said medic must also stand before the shinobi council, with at least one witness, to prove that their actions were justified.

Both ANBU knew that the slaying of an heiress to the most powerful clan in Konoha would get anyone a one-way ticket to public execution, whether their reasons were valid or not. Someone like Naruto? They'd destroy him as soon as he stepped foot in the door. Neither knew what Naruto would do after this, but they knew that he would most likely not remain in the village.

"Anko-sempai, stop this!" Inaro shouted.

"There's nothing we can do for her, she's as good as dead!"

Anko snarled at the ANBU. "NO! There has to be another way!"

"Either Naruto finishes her, or Isaro will. It is required of all field medics to give their comrades a quick death if nothing can be done to save them!" Mitara shouted over a sudden roar of pain from the Corpser.

Anko's struggles ceased and she hung her head. She knew this whole incident was her fault, as she was the reason Hinata was there in the first place. When she had dragged her student along, something in her gut told her to leave the girl behind, but she ignored it, thinking that nothing could happen to her while she was surrounded by powerful ninjas. Given, she was in no way prepared for a giant spider, but she had still taken the risk of bringing a mere Genin on a mission that seemed to require a Jōnin and three ANBU to accomplish. And now that she looked back on it, she knew that was the dumbest decision she had made since trusting Orochimaru.

"Hinata...I'm sorry." Anko wept on Mitara's shoulder as he tried to calm her.

Meanwhile, Naruto's summons were each giving the Corpser their own specialized beat-downs. The Guardians were simply too much for the onigumo.

Most of them were simply too fast for the behemoth to hit in such a confined space, and Reformo was able to, much to everyone's surprise, overpower the Corpser. The shark/human hybrid had grabbed the spider's leg when it had tried to impale him, and picked the bigger demon up, albeit with great effort, swung it over his head, and slammed it into the ground with tremendous force. The impact caused in a tremor akin to a moderate earthquake and created a respectable crater.

Pondera and Veneratio just stared at the scene. "Damn. I knew Reformo was strong, but...damn."

Being a demon of very few words, Veneratio just nodded.

"Yes, Reformo is the strongest of us all, when it comes to brute strength. With it, he makes up for what he lacks in land speed and intelligence..." the old demon, Ignotus, hopped over a rock that was thrown at his head by Reformo, "and self-control."

The ninja demon, Affectus, appeared in front of Pondera. "Sir, the onigumo is much more resilient than we thought. It seems that most of our attacks amount to little more than pin-pricks to it." he spoke in a completely calm tone, like there wasn't an enraged, thirty foot tall demon spider behind him.

Clementia floated down next to Pondera. "What should we do? We'd be more than enough for this demon if we could get under its armor, but none of our attacks and pierce its hide."

Pondera rubbed his chin. "Hmm...Have you tried cracking it?" he ventured.

Clementia nodded. "Both Reformo and Morium have tried blunt-force damage, but their attacks just temporarily knock the creature down."

Pondera sighed and spared at glance in Naruto's direction. The shinobi he was talking to seemed to be screaming something at him, but Pondera couldn't make it out over the Corpser's roars. Whatever he was yelling, it must have been bad news, as he witnessed Naruto's shoulders slump, like gravity had just increased its pull on him tenfold.

'Well, I guess he's out...What the hell?' Pondera turned to fully look at Naruto as he circled around the wounded girl and placed his massive sword at her neck.

The other noticed this and turned to look in Naruto's direction as well.

"What in the nine levels of hell is that boy doing? The girl isn't hurt _that_ badly, and I hardly think one such at her deserves a death from a blade like that one." Ignotus scratched his bald head in confusion, one of the few times he actually validated his name.

Veneratio spoke for the first time in his gruff and hollow voice. "She is but a human, old fool. While an injury like that would be little more than a painful inconvenience to us, it is fatal to a human. Especially one as weak as she is. Sure, she's stronger than the average human, but that's not saying much at all."

Ignotus shrugged off the "old fool" comment. "I suppose...After all, what _isn't_ stronger than the average human?" he chuckled.

Affectus shook his head. "It's a pity. Though she is almost embarrassingly weak for a shinobi, I saw much potential in her. And the key to that potential, I suspect, is the one who is about to end her life...Once again, such a pity."

Pondera's eyes widened as he sidestepped a flying Morium. "What the-?!" he didn't have time to finish his sentence before he was hit by a flying skeleton.

"...Ow..." Pondera muttered.

Vereor smacked Pondera in the back of his head. _"Shut up. You have no right to complain about pain...You didn't just get hit but a one-hundred ton spider...though you should have been."_ the living skeleton fired another volley of fireballs at the Corpser's face, more to distract than do any damage.

"Seriously, a little help here?" Morium walked by, glaring at the demons that were no longer fighting, then leapt back into the fray.

Pondera just snorted and pushed Vereor off, allowing him to stand. His battle chain shot out of the right sleeve of his white robe and glowed a ghostly pale green.

"I think his head would look wonderful in my trophy room."

Naruto still couldn't control his trembling hands. In fact, it had gotten even worse, tremors now rocking his entire body, causing his armor to vibrate. Eventually Naruto released his grip on the sword and fell to his knees.

_"I...I can't do it...I'm sorry, Hinata, I've failed you again...Hinata?"_ Naruto looked at the girl, only to find her skin drained of all color and her chest completely still. She had slipped away during Naruto's inner struggle with his heart.

Hanging his head in shame and sadness, Naruto place his hand one the deceased girl's cheek, idly noticing that, while in his current form, his hand nearly encompassed her face. He wiped away the last tear that fell from Hinata's eyes.

Naruto's sorrow suddenly turned to raw fury. He was furious at himself, at the Corpser, at Anko, at everything. Furious at the Corpser for killing one of his precious people, one of his first, as a matter of fact. Furious at himself for not being able to save her, thus breaking his promise. And furious at Anko for bringing the poor girl into the hellhole that was the Namikaze Compound. He assumed that the Sandaime had told them of the dangers they could possibly face, making the fact that Anko still brought her student all the more infuriating to Naruto.

(Naruto's Mindscape)

Nightmare was still in the process of finding a place to lock Noctis away when he felt it. Naruto's unholy rage. He wasn't even the target of such anger, yet the demonic knight still shuddered involuntarily. He honestly pitied whatever had incited such fury in the boy.

But it wasn't the intense anger that worried the demon, it was the heavy sorrow that was laced with it.

He wasn't the only one to pick up on the sorrow either. Noctis grinned insanely and turned to look at Nightmare, a cruel glint in his eyes.

_"Well, old man, it seems that I'll get my revenge on you two sooner than I thought."_ Noctis laughed.

Nightmare looked at the other demon. _"What are you babbling about now?"_

Noctis gave no reply, just a sudden burst of power, tossing Nightmare away and releasing Noctis of his hold. The black-armored demon ran down the winding corridors that made up Naruto's mind, knowing exactly where he was going, and how to get there.

Nightmare, after shaking away his confusion at the sudden turn of events, quickly ran after the other knight.

It was at this moment Naruto's consciousness entered the mindscape, leaving his body on autopilot. He needed a few seconds to think without distractions. But, he wouldn't get his wish, as he stepped out of a side corridor, only to be nearly bulldozed by a black blur.

"What the hell?" he muttered to himself, deciding to follow the blur, not liking the fact that there was something unknown running rampant in his mind.

Naruto was joined in his pursuit by Nightmare, who just rubbed the back of his head and shrugged sheepishly, confirming Naruto's suspicions that it was Noctis they were chasing.

"How did he get away?"

_"That was your fault. Whatever the hell happened out there got you extremely pissed, and more than a bit sad. Noctis picked up on this, and, since he's part of the Soul Edge, he feeds on anger and sorrow. He was given a sudden power boost and he threw me off, then bolted on me. I don't know where he's going, all I know is that we can't let him get there."_

Naruto sighed. "...Hinata's dead."

This almost made Nightmare falter in his run. _"WHAT?! That overgrown pest killed Sex Kitten?! Screw Noctis, get your ass back out there and tear that bug apart!"_ Nightmare growled.

"Believe me, I want to. But...I need some time to think."

_"About what?!"_

"..." Naruto didn't respond, and Nightmare decided not to push the matter, as it would do nothing but make things worse.

Noctis couldn't stop himself from cackling with insane glee when felt himself nearing his destination. It was just beyond Kyuubi's chamber, but Noctis had nothing to worry about. Kyuubi was still confined to her cage.

_"Just a bit further and I can finally carry out my mi-!"_ Noctis was cutoff by a fist burying itself in his gut and launching him further back into the corridor he had just come from.

**"End of the line, lowlife."** a commanding, feminine voice hissed.

Noctis looked up to see Kyuubi, in all of her terrifying glory, standing above him in her human form.(1)

_"What the fuck?! You're supposed to be in that cage!"_ Noctis screamed, not believing that he had been so close, only to run into a massive roadblock in the form of a demon that was infinitely more powerful than himself.

"Yes...you are." a monotonous voice called out from the darkness of the corridor behind Noctis.

Naruto walked out from the shadows, Nightmare behind him giving an apologetic look to Kyuubi, knowing that she was in trouble now.

Kyuubi gulped, feeling fear for only the second time in many millennia. **"Um...Hello, Kit...What are you doing here?"**

Naruto narrowed his eyes at the humanoid fox demon. "I came here to think. I left the Guardians to deal with the Corpser. But that isn't important. What is important, however, is the question of why you are outside of the seal."

Kyuubi sighed heavily, knowing that she had been found out. She couldn't think of a believable excuse for her being where she was, and she knew that Naruto wouldn't take her word on anything now.

**"The truth is...I've been free of the seal for some time now."**

Naruto rose an eyebrow behind his mask. "How long?"

**"...Four years."**

"So, from the time I was turned into a hanyou, up to now, you've been free to wander around in my mind?"

Kyuubi nodded. **"I'm sorry for not telling you, but I-" **she was cutoff by Naruto raising his hand to silence her.

"You can explain your reasons later, right now we have to get him" he glared at Noctis, "into a secure area." he looked at Nightmare and nodded.

Said demon quickly grabbed Noctis and dragged him back into the depths of Naruto's mind.

Naruto turned back to Kyuubi, who suddenly wished she was back in her cage, where she was relatively safe from Naruto's mental wrath.

But the masked boy didn't seem all too interested in punishing Kyuubi, or even talking to her at all.

Kyuubi noticed this and walked up to Naruto. **"What's wrong? What's happened?"**

Naruto looked at the demoness in confusion. "Don't you know? I thought you were watching."

Kyuubi shook her head. **"Once you went full demon, our mental link was cut. I don't know about anything that happened after you getting blown through the wall."**

Naruto sighed. "That thing...it...killed Hinata...I couldn't do anything to save her...I failed her." his legs suddenly felt weak and he held onto Kyuubi to keep from falling.

The fox demon's eyes widened at the new information, and a pang of guilt went through her heart. She knew that she was partially responsible for this, as it was her idea to leave Hinata in Anko's care.

And she could plainly see how the Hyūga's death would effect Naruto so much. She was his very first friend, even though they had both forgotten about each other.

But there was one thing that confused Kyuubi. **"What do you mean you failed her? It's not like you let her die, I'm sure you did all that you could to save her."**

Naruto snarled. "That's just it; I didn't do enough! I wasn't fast enough, I wasn't strong enough, my reaction time was too slow! I could have prevented this if I had gotten her out of there as soon as I saw her...Why did Anko even bring her here? What was the point?!"

Kyuubi placed her hands on Naruto's shoulders. **"Listen to me. You didn't fail anyone. You tried your best, and that's all anyone can ask for. You can't blame yourself just because, this one time, your best wasn't enough."**

Naruto hung his head. "...I promised her..." he whispered.

Kyuubi cocked her head to the side. **"You promise who, Hinata? Promised her what?"**

"I promised...that I would protect her. That I wouldn't allow any harm to come to her, from anyone, even her own family. It was six years ago, after I saved her from those Kumo shinobi that tried to kidnap her. I knew how her own clan treated her, how her own father treated her, and it made me sick. I couldn't just sit back and let it continue, so I made her a promise. I vowed to protect her at all costs. I promised her that whomever tried to harm her, in any way, would deal with me." Naruto squeezed Kyuubi's arm tightly, almost painfully. "I promised her...then I forgot about her. For all these years...what she must have gone through, all because I didn't keep my promise." he hung his head.

Kyuubi winced as Naruto's grip on her arm became tight enough that, if she were anything less than what she was, her bones would have snapped like dry twigs.

**"Naruto, what's wro-?!" **Kyuubi stopped dead, fear making its way into her eyes.

She could feel it, the Darkness welling up inside of Naruto. He was losing control of his emotions, and, as a result, he was also losing his control over the element of Darkness.

**"Naruto, you have to calm yourself! You can't lose control, not now!"** Kyuubi pleaded, but Naruto appeared to be ignoring her.

"I failed her...I broke my promise...I abandoned her, a comrade in need...as Hatake would say...**I am worse than scum."** Naruto lifted Kyuubi into the air with ease and stared into her eyes. **"I am not worthy of forgiveness...I am barely worthy of life...I will avenge her death...and you will not stop me."** Naruto's white mask was slowly taken over by dark tendrils, the kanji that decorated the surface turning bright red, the kanji for Darkness actually glowing.

**"Naruto...regain control...don't lose yourself to this." **tears welled up in Kyuubi's eyes as she witnessed Naruto's transformation and realized that she had lost him, possibly forever, to the Darkness.

Naruto tossed Kyuubi aside, then slowly faded away as he regained control of his body.

(Outside World)

No one knew just what had happened to Naruto. One second he seemed to be stricken with grief over Hinata's death, then he went into some kind of trance. Some of them, namely Anko, Mitara, Inaro, Kurohane, and Zabuza, were going to check on him, but were blasted away by an intense wave of dark chakra from the demonized boy.

Naruto's body shuddered once, then he lifted his head, the kanji for Darkness glowing brightly on his forehead. He slowly got to his feet and turned to the Corpser.

_**"You have slain someone that I cared for...In exchange for her soul, I shall take yours. Prepare to suffer."**_ Naruto hissed.

The Guardians saw their new master and backed off from their fight. They could tell something wasn't right, and that it would serve them better not to interfere in the events that were to follow.

The Corpser, sensing the purely demonic malice and rage rolling off of this new threat, quickly turned to engage it.

**"You wish to avenge the death of such a lowly human?! What are you? You are certainly not a demon, for you have no sense of pride! Fighting to protect such weak creatures, you truly are a disgrace to all demons. Even with her soft spot for humans, I don't know how even Kyuubi could stomach you."** the giant spider growled.

Naruto tensed, his grip on the Soul Edge tightening.

The Corpser saw this and chuckled darkly. **"What? You didn't think I knew about the demon you hold within you? You thought I didn't know about what you are, or rather, what you were turned into? I know your secrets, hanyou!"**

The human occupants of the combat zone, minus Zabuza, looked at Naruto in shock.

'He's a half-demon?!' they all thought.

None of them thought any less of him for it. If anything, they held him at an even higher level of respect, knowing that he could and would go further than any of them ever could.

'Well, now I know why I can hardly ever win against him when we spar.' Mitara smirked, already thinking of whys to use this new information to get the upper hand on Naruto, and keep it, in their next spar.

Anko just grinned half-heartedly, her student's death still weighing heavily on her conscience, as he it would for many years to come. 'Maybe punishing Naru-chan for not telling me that he was a hanyou with make me feel better...'

Kurohane already knew, and was hoping that this new revelation would scare off some of her competition for Naruto's heart. But it seemed to be having the opposite effect. Chigusa and Kiriko were looking at Naruto with pure awe and admiration, and no small hint of love. Whether it was sibling love, or something else, the summon didn't know. But Haku's expression was the one that truly worried her. The intense blush, the far away look, and the small drops of blood coming from her nose were quite disconcerting.

Haku was indeed having naughty thoughts about Naruto, or more specifically, what he could do to her. 'He could...actually harm me while we're doing _it_...He could absolutely _break_ me, ravage me in every way possible...The human sex slave and her hanyou master...' Haku promptly fainted.

Chigusa and Kiriko's thoughts were along almost identical to each other's. 'Wow...Nii-chama is even more powerful than we thought he was!'

The now possessed Naruto didn't pay attention to any of this, he was completely focused on avenging Hinata's death and dealing out the most painful mutilation he could think of to the Corpser.

Blurring out of sight, Naruto reappeared one the onigumo's head, sword held high.

The eye on the Soul Edge closed, then snapped open, revealing an icy blue eye, almost identical to its master's normal eyes.

_**"Devil Charge - Cerberus: Frozen Tomb!"**_ Naruto, using a technique he didn't even know, slammed his blade down onto the spider's head, cracking its helmet-like exoskeleton, and completely encasing the creature in black ice.

The Corpser managed to thrash a bit before it was entombed, and let out an unearthly roar as the ice reached its head and silence it. The attack had sent a frozen shockwave through the demon's body which, upon reaching the ground, slowly crawled back up to the original point of impact, leaving a sheet of diamond-like black ice in its wake.

Naruto knew the creature wouldn't be held at bay for long, so he jumped back to ground level and readied himself for the oncoming assault from the surely injured and enraged beast.

Sure enough, the ice began to shudder and crack as the Corpser's eyes glowed a furious orange. With a wave of demonic chakra, the giant arachnid burst forth from its confines and glared menacingly at Naruto.

Cracks littered the surface of the beast's natural armor, caused by the sudden and violent drop in temperature from its normally five-hundred degree hide.

**"You...INSOLENT WHELP! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME?!"** the Corpser screamed as it saw its own dark red blood ooze from the cracks in its armor.

Naruto gazed at the demon with eyes devoid of life. He found no pleasure in the onigumo's pain, as he normally would have, he just felt empty. This was his task, and he had to accomplish it at any cost, even if it meant his own life.

**'At least then I could die with honor, not as the disgrace that I am now.'** the Dark Naruto thought.(2)

Dark Naruto looked at the other demon. _**"Thermal shock. I simply cooled you off, and your heated exoskeleton cracked. You have weak spots now, and I intend to exploit them."**_

The Corpser growled angrily. **"I have no weaknesses, Traitor, I am the supreme being here, not you!" **it smashed on of its legs down on the ground in front of Naruto, not quite being able to reach him for some reason. The Corpser looked on in shock as its leg cracked more, fragments actually breaking off and falling to the floor. **"WHAT?!"**

Dark Naruto snorted. _**"Your natural armor is immensely strong, yes, but even the slightest breach causes the entire section to weaken. With the damage I've done to you, you can't even walk without the risk of your legs literally falling apart on you. Your size will be your downfall today."**_

The Corpser roared and attempted to smash Naruto again. Dark Naruto simply batted the limb aside with the Soul Edge, breaking off a large chunk that included the deadly claw tip. The beast roared in pain and held its injured limb above the ground, not wanting to put any of its weight on the appendage.

Dark Naruto took advantage of the demon's weakness and flung his battle chain at the monster's head. The chain wrapped around the creature's neck and Dark Naruto jerked the chain down with all of his might, smashing the Corpser's face into the ground.

While the demon was down, Dark Naruto began to flash through handseals, not obstructed by his gauntlets in the least.

_**"Demon Skill: Hell's Binding Chains!"**_ Dark Naruto shouted.

The ground started to rumble as it had when the Corpser had made its appearance, then huge black chains erupted from below the Corpser and wrapped themselves around its body. The Corpser tried to fight against them, but it had absolutely no hope of breaking its bonds, as they were made to hold demons much stronger than himself. Everytime the demon so much as twitched, glowing orange runes would appear along the length of the chains and begin to drain the beast of energy.

**"How...How do you know such a powerful technique?! You do not have access to the Vaults of the Underworld!"** the Corpser screamed, referring to the massive vaults in the Underworld in which all known demonic technique scrolls were stored.

_**"I have a S-class demon and an even stronger tailed demon lord residing within my body, so I've picked up more than a few tricks."**_ Dark Naruto just assumed that was the case, as he honestly didn't remember learning either of the two techniques he had used on the Corpser.

Dark Naruto walked up to the demon, seeing that it was now weak enough to kill. He raised the Soul Edge, but suddenly stopped before he brought it down. He looked over to Hinata's body and grew enraged.

_**"...No, I haven't punished you enough."**_ Dark Naruto walked over to one of the Corpser's legs.

**"What are you doing, Traitor?!" **the giant spider growled.

Dark Naruto didn't reply. He placed the jagged blade of the Soul Edge on the creatures now exposed skin and began the process of sawing its leg off.

The Corpser screamed in agony as it felt its muscle and flesh alternate between being cut by the blade and melted by the poison. It could also feel huge amounts of said poison running through its veins, corroding them and causing severe internal bleeding.

Dark Naruto seemed to actually take some form of twisted joy from the demon's screams and the spurts of blood that were drenching him. It felt right to him, like he was put on this earth for the singular purpose of causing this demon extreme amounts of pain. Like this grotesque mutilation was what he was meant to do.

Dark Naruto proceeded to saw off seven of the Corpser's legs, opting to rip the last one off with his bare hands. He made sure he was absolutely covered in the demon's blood. He had done everything he said he was going to do to the Corpser. He had torn it apart, he had bathed in its blood. Now all that was left was to execute it and take its soul.

He was about to do just that until he got an idea.

**'This demon's soul must be worth at least a few hundred human ones. Maybe I can have the Soul Edge absorb this demon's body along with its soul, and have it repaired for later use as a summon. It's supposed to work for me when I die.' **Dark Naruto shrugged, then plunged his blade into the Corpser's skull.

The onigumo wailed in agony as its soul was ripped from its barely living body. Its wailing abruptly stopped when the chains binding its midsection to the ground constricted it with such force that its body was split in two. With its death, the Corpser's body slowly crumbled into black ashes, which were also absorbed into the Soul Edge's eye.

After accomplishing his task, Dark Naruto walked back to Hinata's cold corpse, kneeling next to it like she was some kind of fallen Queen.

_**"I have avenged you, Hinata. My your soul rest in peace."**_ he placed his hand on her cheek again, only for Hinata's body to suddenly jerk to life and grab his arm.

Both Dark Naruto and Hinata were encased in a bubble of bright light, inside of which Dark Naruto could be heard screaming. The light bubble eventually decreased in size until it was a small orb right over Dark Naruto's heart. The ball of light sank into his chest and his armor turned into black dust that was absorbed into the eye slits of his mask.

His transformation complete, Naruto fell to the side, twitching in pain, but Hinata went still once again.

Naruto slowly sat up and looked around, finding himself surrounded by his friends and summons. He looked from Hinata to Pondera and sighed.

"I guess that's what you meant by your second clue."

Pondera smirked under his hood. "More or less."

Seizonsha leapt onto Naruto's head and began firing questions at him, some in the form of yips and barks, faster than he could answer them.

"Slow do-?" Naruto looked from Seizonsha to Hinata, then back again. "That's it!" he suddenly shot to his feet, taking the hanyou fox with him. "Isaro, is there a way you can temporarily restart her Hinata's heart again? If you can, then I may be able to save her."

Isaro looked at Naruto like he was crazy. "I can't do that, it would require a controlled and concentrated electric shock directly to her heart. My control over Lightning is horrible at best. I'm sorry." Isaro hung his head.

Naruto sighed, then looked at Kiriko, prompting the others to look as well.

Kiriko looked around, noticing everyone staring at her. "What?...Me?! Oh no, this is too much pressure!"

Naruto walked up to her. "You're the only one who can do this. I would do it, but I have just enough chakra left for what I'm planning. If I use any right now I won't be able to save her."

Kiriko looked at her surrogate brother, then at Hinata's corpse, and sighed heavily. "Fine, but only because I feel sorry for her, and you're such a cute little nii-chan!"

Everyone sweatdropped at that.

"...I'm going to let that one slide." Naruto said.

Kiriko knelt down next to Hinata's body and placed her hand directly over her unmoving heart, then nodded to Naruto. Naruto nodded back and his hands glowed green. Hinata's body jerked to life for a second time as Kiriko jump-started her heart, but she only had a few minutes left before she died again.

Naruto instantly placed his glowing hands on Hinata's stomach, quickly healing her.

Hinata looked at Naruto in confusion, she knew that her wounds were much too serious for any one person to heal, no matter how powerful they were.

"N-N-Naruto-k-kun, w-what are y-you do-?!" she suddenly went rigid as Naruto cut his palm and let his blood enter her system.

She could feel the new blood attempting to take over, and her body's natural defenses rushing to keep the foreign substance at bay. Normally, they would have been no match for something as powerful as demon blood. But Naruto's healing technique provided the defenses with a boost that allowed them to keep the blood from taking over. The result was an uneasy balance of human and demon blood. With any luck, the balance would naturally smooth itself out to something as harmonious as Naruto's or Seizonsha's.

It didn't take long for the demonic blood to make its presence known once the procedure was finished. Hinata's wounds began to close on their own, leaving everyone watching slack-jawed and baffled.

Before she passed out, Hinata looked at Naruto with pure love and affection in her eyes, and whispered something that worried him.

"...Master..." Hinata went limp again, but she was breathing normally, and only had a slight pink scar to show for her vicious impalement.

Naruto cocked his head to the side. 'What?' was all he thought before he, too, blacked out.

(Mindscape)

Naruto found himself in front of Kyuubi's cage, peering inside for any sign of the demonic vixen.

"Kyuubi?" he asked into the shadows.

No answer.

"Hello?" he took a step into the cage, phasing through the bars.

Again, nothing.

Shrugging, Naruto turned and walked back out of the cage, decided to search for the fox elsewhere. Since she was free of the seal she could have been anywhere.

After he phased through the bars again, a feminine voice called out to him.

"Naruto...I've been waiting for you." Kyuubi's voice was much quieter, more subdued, than it normally was. It didn't hold the commanding, authoritative tone he was accustomed to, now sounding almost submissive.

Naruto looked up to see Kyuubi in the black and red kimono he had seen her in when she first revealed her human form to him. He noticed that she seemed nervous, almost paranoid, and wouldn't make eye-contact with him.

"Naruto...are you...mad at me?" Kyuubi asked, still unable to bring herself to look her former jailer in the eyes.

Naruto shrugged. "That all depends on how you answer my questions." he captured her eyes with his as she looked up.

The demoness found herself unable to tear her gaze away, noting that the boy's eyes were shining like smoldering embers. A clear sign of the anger boiling just beneath the surface.

"...Ask your questions, I will answer truthfully." Kyuubi steeled her resolve.

Naruto nodded. "So, you've been free of the seal ever since we began to merge when I was eight, correct?" Kyuubi nodded. "My question now is; what exactly have you done with your freedom? Have you tampered with my mind in any way?"

Kyuubi shook her head immediately, almost offended by the accusation. "I would never do anything of the sort. Besides, the seal still has power over me, which is why I can't get out of your body unless you give me a vessel. My soul is tied directly to yours, and we are bound for all eternity. Likely even beyond death. Basically, if I fuck with your mind, the seal fucks with me."

Naruto nodded, satisfied with the answer. "Alright, next question. Some of my more..._unpleasant_ memories have resurfaced. Are they your doing, or something else? Have you messed with the Door?"

Kyuubi, once again, shook her head. "No. I can't say for certain what's causing it, but I have little doubt that it's a side-effect of Noctis' presence in your mind. Whatever's going on, the Soul Edge has something to do with it. As for your other question; again, no. I have, in no way, shape or form, tampered with The Door. I've actually created defenses to keep anything from even getting near it." she proved her statement by waving her hand and having a large black ball appear at her side.

The ball seemed to be made out of shadows, and had eight glowing eyes arranged in a row of four on either side. Kyuubi snapped her fingers and a mouth appeared on the creature. Its jagged teeth moved rapidly around its wide jaws, like the teeth of a chainsaw. Upon closer inspection, Naruto found that each individual tooth rotated like a drill bit.

"I've dubbed these little monsters 'Manglers', for obvious reasons. They act as sentries in your mind, patrolling the entrance maze and every hallway, tearing anything they find to pieces. Nightmare has had more than one encounter with them, but they've left him alone as of late. That is, unless to gets too close to The Door. Now that they know he won't open it, they just follow him around when he gets near it, returning to patrol when he leaves the area."

Kyuubi waved her hand again and another creature appeared. It looked like something straight out of a serial killer's nightmare. It looked to be a human, originally anyway, with its arms and legs cut off, and replaced with the implements used in the amputation. The heavy, machete-like blades that were now its limbs made light, metallic clicks on the ground as it shifted its weight from one "foot" to the other. Bloodied medical gauze and leather straps and belts seemed to hold together the rest of the body, which was horribly lacerated, and also served to hold the metal vest-like armor to its torso. Its head seemed to have been severed, and was held suspended above the body by a strange contraption, which looked like it was growing from the creature's shoulders as opposed to just being attached. On the severed head was a metal "plague doctor" mask.

"This is the Slayer." Kyuubi said, with no small amount of pride. (3)

The Slayer snapped to attention, registering that it was being addressed. Its head blurred for a second as it shook rapidly, making odd clicks, hisses and wheezing grunts.

"He said 'Greetings Master'." Kyuubi clarified.

Naruto just nodded, continuing to stare at the abomination in front of him.

"...I'm pretty sure that thing is a sin against nature itself." Naruto said, shaking his head.

The Slayers head blurred again as it made more of the strange noises that, apparently, made up its language.

"He said 'Thank you'. Huh, that's odd…He seems to be familiar with you." Kyuubi scratched her head in confusion.

Naruto shrugged, then shook his head rapidly, making his mask blur like the Slayer's. He also made the same noises at the creature, relaying his message through its own method of communication.

The Slayer replied in a similar way, then disappeared as it dismissed itself. It was still "on duty", afterall.

Kyuubi looked on in shock. "How...?"

Naruto shrugged again. "What, you think this is my first time meeting him? I've met the others, too. Did you honestly think I didn't know about you? About what you've done in here?" he laughed at Kyuubi's expression. "Don't look so shocked. Afterall, it was you who taught me to be so observant. I know of all your creations; I've even modified some of them. I've known about your freedom for two years now, but I kept quiet about it, as it seemed you had a reason not to tell me. And as long as whatever you did didn't affect me in any negative way, I allowed you to do whatever you wanted. But, now that you know that I know, it's time for the most important question: what was your reason for not telling me?"

Kyuubi just stared at Naruto, jaw almost to the ground and eyes nearly bulging from their sockets. How the hell did he know so much?! Kyuubi wracked her brain for clues, checking her memories for anything she had overlooked that may have hinted at Naruto's awareness to her freedom. She found multiple instances when he had given her strange looks when she gave him certain answers to certain questions. When she had let something slip when she talked to him. She remembered that Naruto seemed almost amused when she tried to cover up her slip of the tongue.

'He's been toying with me the entire time!' Kyuubi's eyes widened at the revelation.

Naruto chuckled when he saw this. "So, I guess you've figured out my little game, just as I figured out yours."

"This entire time...you've been tricking me...ME, the Queen of Kitsune! A ten-thousand year old demon, tricked by a twelve year old hanyou." Kyuubi began to laugh. "I think I trained you a little _too_ well."

Naruto chuckled. "Maybe." his eyes glinted dangerously.

Kyuubi didn't like the look she was getting and took a step back. The chamber around her and Naruto melted away, being replaced with a narrow platform suspended above a pit of molten lava by large chains.

Naruto stood at one end of the platform while Kyuubi stood at the other. He unsheathed the Black Soul and called out to the demoness.

"How about one more _session_, for old time's sake?"

Kyuubi stared at Naruto, then smirked. "How long has it been?" her clothes morphed into her sparring "uniform"(Same as what she was wearing when she stopped Noctis).

Naruto tightened his grip on the Black Soul, anticipating the upcoming fight. "A year at least. I can't wait to show you just what I'm capable of!"

Kyuubi's smirk widened into a full-blown grin. **"Neither can I. I want to see what you've learned in your battles. Are you still the same cocky brat from a year ago, or do you finally have a handle on both your power and your ego?" **her normal voice returned.

Naruto simply smirked, though no one could tell. "I assure you, I've matured since then, as you should know. So, what weapon will you be using today? Guan Dao? Bo-Staff? Sword? Or will you simply be fighting tooth-and-claw in an attempt to humiliate me?"

Kyuubi adopted a dangerous, evil smile. **"No, I think you've earned the right to face my true weapons of choice."**

Wisps of crimson chakra wrapped themselves around Kyuubi's arms, then glowed so brightly that Naruto had to turn away. When he looked back, he saw Kyuubi wielding two silver tonfa swords.

Twirling her blades as only a true master could, Kyuubi raced towards Naruto, not giving him any warning at all. With one slash, it was over, and Naruto was bisected at the waist.

Kyuubi scratched her head. **"Well...that was a short fight."**

Naruto actually laughed. "Yes, it will be." then he exploded with monstrous force, sending Kyuubi flying back and destroying a section of the platform.

The real Naruto appeared behind Kyuubi, then planted his boot into the back of her skull, causing her to fly forward, straight into another Naruto's Rasengan. Roaring in pain, Kyuubi cut the heads off of the two clones in one three-hundred and sixty degree spinning slash.

**"Oh, Naru-chaaaan? Where arrrrrre youuuuuu?" **Kyuubi called out in a sing-song tone, the underlying anger causing it to be even more creepy than it normally would have been.

"Riiiight heeeeeerrrrrre." Naruto said in his own sing-song voice.

Kyuubi spun and slashed at her opponent, only to cut nothing but air.

**"What the hell?"** she muttered to herself, then gasped when she felt hot breath on the back of her neck.

"Say, Kyuubi-_sensei_, how long has it been since you've taught me something?" Naruto whispered into Kyuubi's ear.

**"What are you-? I-I don't know, a f-few weeks?" **Kyuubi gasped again as Naruto's arms wrapped around her and his right hand brushed up against her left breast as his arm completed its journey around her.

"Hm? Am I _hurting_ you, _sensei_?" Naruto placed his chin on Kyuubi's shoulder.

**"N-Naruto, that's e-enough." **Kyuubi tried to get Naruto to stop, as she thought he really didn't know what he was doing to her.

"...No, It's not enough. Not for me, and certainly not for you." Naruto moved his hand up to her breast again and gave it a gentle squeeze.

Kyuubi released a shuddering moan as one of her many fantasies involving Naruto was coming true. He was groping her, touching her in ways she never thought he would, but had always wished for. She moaned again as Naruto rubbed his thumb over her now erect nipple.

**'When the hell did he get under my shirt?!' **Kyuubi thought.

"I'm just that good." Naruto answered, like he had just read her mind.

Kyuubi's eyes widened, but she couldn't make a sound. Naruto grabbed her hand and brought it, slowly, up to his masked face. Placing her palm on the forehead, Naruto waited for the demoness to grip it before taking her hand away, allowing his mask to go with it.

Kyuubi shuddered as she saw Naruto's ever-present mask in her hand.

**"N-Naruto? W-What are you-Ohhhh, Kami!"** Kyuubi yelped in pleasure when Naruto nipped a certain spot on her neck lightly.

Naruto smirked into Kyuubi's skin as he trailed small kisses, nips, and licks around her neck and shoulders, hitting all of the right spots.

"What's wrong? It's not _that_ good...Is it?" Naruto's smirk widened when he felt Kyuubi grind her body against his.

Kyuubi's eyes rolled into the back of her head and her mouth moved like she was trying to speak, but no sound, other than pleasured groans, escaped her lips.

"What was that? Do you want me to stop?" Naruto nipped Kyuubi's neck again.

The vixen growled in pleasure, her primal instincts beginning to take over. She reached over his shoulder and grabbed a handful of Naruto's golden hair, bringing his head around and crushing her lips into his.

Naruto smirked one last time before breaking the almost brutal kiss and whispering into Kyuubi's ear.

"I win." before Kyuubi could react, Naruto brought out a hidden kunai and slit her throat.

The demoness gurgled and held her neck in a futile attempt to stop the bleeding. But she soon succumbed to her wound and fell to the ground. Naruto walked around to her side and rolled her body off of the platform and into the lava below with his foot.

Crossing his arms and looking over the edge, Naruto grumbled to himself, not particularly happy about what he had to do to defeat Kyuubi. She was like a mother to him, for Kami's sake! To use her pent-up sexual frustration against her...felt kind of weird in a distinctly creepy way. That's not to say he didn't get at least _some_ pleasure out of it.

He knew it was going to take a few minutes to reform after her body was destroyed by the lava, so he sat down and waited.

After a while he started to actually worry about the demoness. She was infinitely more powerful than he was, and it only took him fifteen minutes, tops, to regenerate from even the most horrific deaths. It only took him seven minutes to come back from being dunked into a vat of acid. So Kyuubi should have been back in seconds!

"What is she up to?" Naruto muttered, looking around to check for threats. "I don't like this...Not at all."

He stood and walked towards the edge of the platform. He wasn't exactly surprised when he felt a presence directly behind him. Spinning quickly, ready to counter anything that was waiting for him, Naruto came face-to-face with Kyuubi. And she didn't look all too happy. In fact, she didn't look like she felt anything, really. She just stood there, giving him a blank stare eerily reminiscent of the ones he frequently used to irritate her when he was bored.

"Kyuu-chan?" Naruto asked, the slight tilting of his head and the tone of his voice reflecting his confusion.

Kyuubi, for a second, found herself captivated by Naruto's face. His unnaturally handsome features; his perfectly chiseled jaw, narrow blonde eyebrows, his lips, still a bit swollen from their brutal union with hers, set in a stoic line without so much as a hint of either a smile or frown. She couldn't look away, and quickly found her own face leaning closer to Naruto's, her crimson eyes locked with his blue ones.

With their faces just inches away, Kyuubi muttered one word, **"...How...?"**

Naruto cocked his head a bit more. "What do you mean?"

Kyuubi's expression didn't change as the area around them melted away and was replaced by the original chamber. It didn't change as she picked Naruto up with ease and slammed him into a wall, holding him a good two feet off the floor. It didn't change as her eyes blazed with unholy fury, born from both sexual frustration, confusion and humiliation.

**"...How...?"** Kyuubi said again, louder this time.

Naruto figured now was not the time to play games, and sighed.

"I found out, recently, that our merger works both ways. You can look into my memories from here, and I, to a lesser extent, can look into yours. I can only see recent ones, those closest to the surface, but that was enough. I know of your plans for me...for us...And I just want to know one thing: why me?"

Kyuubi's eyes drained of their rage as she let Naruto slide down the wall. Taking his hand, she dragged the bewildered boy into her cage and sat down on her bed, giving Naruto an unspoken order to do the same. As he complied, Kyuubi's outfit morphed back into her usual black and red kimono.

Sighing heavily, Kyuubi looked at Naruto. **"Do you remember when I really started to train you?"** she asked.

Naruto nodded. "Yes. It was about a month after our merger four years ago."

Kyuubi shook her head. **"No, I mean **_**really**_** train you. When I stopped pussyfooting around in our spars and started...killing you."** She bowed her head as guilt she thought she'd long gotten over resurfaced.

She remembered the first time she had attacked him, without warning, and ripped his throat out with her bare hands. She'd never forget the look of betrayal on Naruto's face as the color drained and he slowly died at her feet.

A sudden pain gripped her heart as she also remembered how skittish he was around her after that. He would rarely come within ten feet of her unless he was given a specific order that required him to be in closer proximity. The pain worsened as she remembered a time she had moved to ruffle his hair, a common gesture of affection. The moment he noticed her hand moving towards him, he had collapsed into the fetal position and screamed for her not to hurt him. She had brought back very painful memories of Naruto's past; memories that she had worked tirelessly to get Naruto to overcome. All that work, all null and void because of a simple lapse in judgment on her part. She knew damn well what her spontaneous attack could do to the boy, but she had decided that the risks were outweighed by the benefits.

Kyuubi spared a glance at Naruto and saw that he, too, remembered that day vividly. When he slowly scooted away to put some distance between them, Kyuubi knew just how paranoid she had made him.

**"So, you do remember."**

Naruto nodded. "Of course I do. I can honestly say that was the only time in my life where I really wanted to die. You were my reason for living, and you had betrayed me, so what did I have? I had nothing and no one. You were the one I confided in, my 'shoulder to cry on', if you will. When you killed me for the first time, I thought you had literally ripped my heart out. All I felt was this intense pain in my chest, then…nothing."

Kyuubi knew exactly what he was talking about. On that day, instead of reaching for the hole in his neck, Naruto had clutched at his chest as if he were having a heart attack.

(Flashback)

A nine year old Naruto walked into Kyuubi's chamber within his mind. It was just two days before his tenth birthday, and he was feeling slightly on-edge. His spy clones had heard the villagers and some shinobi plotting his downfall; an assault during the annual Yondaime Festival celebrating the "death" of the Kyuubi. Normally, Naruto wouldn't care. But this time they had both Jōnin and ANBU support. There were also rumors of a Black Ops. ANBU joining them.

That was what really got Naruto worried. The Black Ops. were a separate branch of the ANBU Corps., like the _supposedly_ defunct ROOT division. If Jōnin were the elite, and ANBU were the elite of the elite, then the Black Ops. were the true upper echelon of the Konoha ninja ranks. Even if they weren't part of the official ninja roster.

Officially, didn't exist. Many started out as child prodigies; kids who could make Jōnin before they even hit double-digits. Naruto didn't know all their Black Ops. "recruiting" methods, but a popular one was to have the kids "disappear" or "die" on their first mission outside of Konoha territory.

In reality, they were taken and inducted into the Black Ops. program. Trained by others like them, they were turned into the finest warriors Konoha had to offer.

The fact that some lowly villagers even knew about them suggested that they were working with someone that ranked pretty damn high in the council. Someone who had managed to avoid the memory wipe that was apparently mandatory when one of the Black Ops. was seen.

'But the Black Ops. don't answer to anyone but the Hokage himself.' Naruto thought.

He knew something was wrong here. Either the rumors of the Black Ops. ANBU out for his head were just that, rumors, or there was something else much bigger going on. It was no secret that most, if not all, of the council hated his guts to some degree. Whether it be the Inuzuka, many of whom seemed to hold some kind of instinctive dislike for him; or the Yamanaka, who, like most others, hated him because they had lost a good chunk of their clan in the Kyuubi attack. That, and Kyuubi had put their former clan head into a coma seven years ago, which he had yet to wake up from.

It was his own fault for trying to get into Naruto's mind without permission.

Feeling that he was in over his head, Naruto decided to ask Kyuubi for help. She always knew what to do.

"Kyuubi-sensei?" Naruto called into the shadows that shrouded the back of the cage.

**"...Yes, Naru-chan?"** Kyuubi's voice called from the darkness.

Naruto groaned. "I asked you to stop calling me that."

Kyuubi giggled. **"I know, what's why I do it. Please, come in."**

Naruto walked through the bars without a second thought, totally unaware of the danger he had just put himself in.

"Kyuubi-sensei, what's your take on my birthday situation this year?" Naruto asked once he found Kyuubi, lounging on a couch and reading a book.

Kyuubi just turned the page of her book. **"I don't think you have anything to worry about from the Black Ops. ANBU. I highly doubt one of them would hate you enough to want to kill you. They've been cutoff from their families and friends for years, if not for most of their entire lives, so I don't think they'd want revenge on you because I killed some people that they probably don't even remember." **she turned the page again.

Naruto nodded, seeing no flaws in Kyuubi's logic.

"Now that I think about it, another explanation could be tied directly to the Sandaime Hokage. Maybe he's trying to expose a corrupt council member? Trying to assassinate a fellow Konoha citizen is outright treason, and punishable by death." Naruto rubbed his chin. "What do you think of that?"

Kyuubi closed her book and sat up on her couch. **"I think that, at times, you are a little **_**too**_** good at what you do. But, for all of your skill, you've forgotten one of the most important lessons I taught you..."**

Naruto blinked. "What? I haven't forgotten anything you've taught me, Kyuu-?!" the only thing he saw was a single twitch of Kyuubi's right hand.

A second later, he felt blood flooding his lungs. He reached up to his neck with trembling hands and found a ragged, gaping hole where is trachea should have been.

Naruto fell to his knees and looked around for Kyuubi through rapidly dimming eyes. He found her standing right in front of him, the missing chunk of his throat still clutched in her clawed right hand.

'Why...Kyuubi-sensei?...What did...I do?' suddenly the searing pain in his neck was nothing compared to the pain that gripped his heart.

It was the pain of knowing that you were truly alone in the world. The pain of knowing that the one person you thought cared really didn't. It was the pain of betrayal; a pain that Naruto was disturbingly familiar with.

Though she had no idea at the time, Kyuubi had just turned Naruto back into the scared little six year old he had been before he met her. Nearly four years of progress, undone in a single instant.

(End Flashback)

After that, Naruto had gotten increasingly paranoid. At one point it got so bad that even the slightest hand movement from anyone near him would cause him to flinch violently and draw a weapon or, in cases where he knew someone was stronger than him, run away.

The moment Kyuubi truly regretted what she had done was when the Sandaime waved at Naruto when he walked into his office. The boy had literally jumped through the ceiling and ran like the hounds of hell were snapping at his heels.

Naruto suddenly chuckled, bringing Kyuubi back from her stroll down memory lane. "You know something? Back then, I didn't know whether to thank you, or find a way to lock you up forever and cutoff all contact. But I've outgrown that confusion, and today I say 'thank you'. If not for your..._training_, I'd have died long ago. You prepared me for the true horrors of battle."

Kyuubi smirked. **"And you welcomed them with open arms and cold steel, becoming quite a battlefield horror yourself."**

(Flashback)

Naruto smashed, face first, into the ground for what had to be the hundredth time in the last hour. Kyuubi had offered him a chance to learn how to use other weapons besides a sword and his own claws. Naruto, being the sucker for all things new and useful that he was, foolishly accepted her offer.

Kyuubi had now been kicking his ass for nearly an hour and a half. At first, she was going "easy" on him, pulling her punches and only using non-lethal attacks. But, after the forty-five minute mark, she had started to get serious, breaking his neck with her bo-staff several times.

Kyuubi giggled as she saw Naruto saw Naruto try to get up, but was having a bit of trouble, seeing as how she had broken his spine with her last strike. Stalking over silently, Kyuubi finished the downed boy with a powerful blow to the back of the head, effectively crushing his skull. The boy disappeared in a flash of light, respawning in another part of their battleground.

Twirling her staff expertly, Kyuubi walked off, whistling an eerie tune she had heard humans play at funerals long ago.

**"Oh, Naru-chaaaan? Where arrrrre yooooooou?" **

Naruto and Kyuubi's joint memory flashed, showing a new battleground.

Naruto walked along a narrow corridor, looking around cautiously for any sign of movement. He knew Kyuubi was here, somewhere, just waiting to pounce on him and inflict her own special brand of carnage.

Coming to an intersection, Naruto heard a sound coming from around the corner and pressed his back up against the wall to inch forward and take a peek. However, almost as soon as his back touched the wall, an arm burst through it wrapped around his neck. He tried to break free of Kyuubi's grip, but it was no use. She had more strength in a single finger than he did in his entire body. His struggling ended when he felt the cold steel blade of a dagger enter his back, slicing through muscle and bone as if it weren't even there, and skewer his heart.

The memory flashed again, showing a desert with high sand dunes and near unbearable heat.

Naruto hopped over the top of one dune, then twisted his body around in midair to avoid a deadly barrage of arrows. Successfully cheating death, Naruto looked around at the arrows that had missed him while running. Some had exploded on impact, some were still on fuses, some had released a poison gas, and yet others had melted the ground around them with their acidic payloads.

'Aren't any of these normal arrows?!' Naruto thought frantically as he heard the sound of more arrows whistling through the air.

One arrow struck him in the back of the thigh and he went down, hissing in pain as the acid melted his leg away from the rest of his body. With a resigned sigh, Naruto laid back on the burning sand and stared up at the cloudless artificial sky. He wanted to look away from the sun, but found that he could no longer move. He barely registered the sound of millions of arrows being released all at once, but he found himself oddly thankful for the projectiles. They blocked out the sun as the rained down on him.

Kyuubi's army of clones high-fived each other as they saw Naruto get turned into a half-demon pincushion.

The memory flashed once again, showing a dark forest with the only light coming from the full moon, unobstructed by clouds.

Naruto leapt over a fallen log, across a large ravine, to the cliff on the other side, clearing the hundred-foot distance in a single bound, then kept running. He heard the sounds of Kyuubi's demonic dogs barking and growling as they tracked him down. They would be right on top of him soon, and he had no way to stop them. He could destroy the dogs, but Kyuubi and her clones would just make more of them.

The Hell Hounds had caught his scent, and now there was nothing he could do to shake them. Even running through water wouldn't help, as they could smell his blood on the air. He had encountered one of the several "hunting parties" a while back, and had managed to escape. But not before Kyuubi struck him with her whip, scoring nine deep gashes across his back with the razor-sharp tongues. Tongues that were also coated in a toxin that kept his wounds from healing, ensuring that there would always be a trail to follow.

Deciding to take refuge in a cave, Naruto thought he was far enough away from his hunters to stop and think of a plan. Sitting on a rock, he rubbed his temples, trying to relieve the pounding headache that made it impossible to concentrate; another side-effect of the powerful poison.

Naruto was suddenly launched off of his rock and into the stone wall by a boot to the side of his head. He tried to get up and run, but the barbed tongues of Kyuubi's whip wrapped around his neck and brought him to his knees before her. He looked around and noted that all the hunting parties had converged on him, leaving him surrounded by Kyuubi's clones and their vicious Hell Hounds..

The beasts were easily twice the size of the Inuzuka's biggest dogs, and were covered in red-ish-brown fur that looked to be covered in rust or dried blood. Probably both, since their fur seemed to be made out of millions of small needles, which severely limited close quarters combat options. They were basically blind, with almost laughably tiny eyes set at the back of unnaturally deep eye sockets.

Kyuubi leaned down with a smirk. **"Well, well, well. You've evaded capture for...nine hours and thirty-two minutes. Impressive; I believe you've set a new record. But this is the end of the line for you, sorry."** she yanked on the whip, causing the barbs on the tongue to rip and cut through the skin, muscle and bone in his neck, tearing his head from between his shoulders.

The memory flashed once more, showing a massive hallway filled with every kind of trap imaginable. Spinning blades, spike pits, huge pendulum axes, and hidden vents that spewed both poison gas and acidic mist.

Once again we find Naruto running for his life. But this time, it wasn't demonic dogs or an platoon of murderous demoness' on his tail, though it was no less deadly. The object made an irritating whistling noise as it cut through the gas clouds created by Naruto activating traps. Fortunately for him, it wasn't immune to the acid mist, which compromised whatever on-board guidance system it had. This resulted in it smashing into the blade of a pendulum axe, ricocheting off and lodging itself into a wall next to a small round lump. Once the object stopped, it was revealed to be a giant circular saw blade.

Naruto stopped and panted harshly. Looking back at the deadly serrated wheel, he half expected it to free itself and start after him again. He then noticed the lump that the saw was next to and stared at it. He could have sworn he saw it move. His suspicions were confirmed when the lump revealed itself to be some kind of mechanical eye. It flashed once, then a long, narrow slit opened up in the wall under it. With a low grinding noise and a loud whir, another flying disk of doom was unleashed upon Naruto.

"Fuck." the boy hissed as he was forced to turn tail and run one more time.

After another twenty minutes of evading death, Naruto ran straight towards a wall, then dove to the ground at the last second. He was again saved by the saw's guidance system. Not because of a malfunction, but because it wouldn't allow the saw to go low enough to hit him. It forced the blade to pull up and crash into the wall ahead.

Naruto rolled over and laughed, allowing himself a moment of insanity. But he wasn't laughing about evading the projectile; he was laughing because that didn't save him. That, and massive blood loss tends to compromise your mental faculties. And nothing causes massive blood loss quite as rapidly as being cut in half at the waist. He continued to laugh, even as Kyuubi entered his field of vision carrying a large, bloody battle axe. And even after she brought it down on his head, he still laughed.

(End Flashback)

**"I remember that time with the axe. What the hell was wrong with you that day? You were laughing even when you respawned! I had to kill you, like, fifteen times you get you to stop!" **

Naruto just looked at Kyuubi, then started to laugh again.

Kyuubi's eyebrow twitched and she grabbed a pillow. **"No, not again."**

Naruto laughed even louder. "What? You're gonna kill me with a pillow?!"

Kyuubi growled. **"It wouldn't be the first time."**

Even that didn't shut Naruto up. And after three minutes of Kyuubi attempting to ignore Naruto, she finally snapped and lunged at him, brandishing her pillow like it was a deadly weapon. Which, in her hands, it was.

Cushioned blows immediately rained down on Naruto, causing him to cover his head and curl up in a ball on the bed, still laughing.

Kyuubi threw her pillow aside and grabbed Naruto in a sleeper hold. **"Stop laughing!"** she growled.

Naruto still laughed, even as he was being choked. "Oh, you wanna wrestle?!" he broke Kyuubi's hold and got behind her, then pinned her arms slightly above her head in a full-nelson. "Who's the King?!" he laughed.

Kyuubi growled, then flipped Naruto over her head and slammed him into the bed before wrapping her legs around his right arm, shoulder and neck in a triangle chokehold.

**"Who's the Queen?!" **she shouted.

Naruto used his free arm to tickle Kyuubi's inner thigh, a weakness he had discovered during a more serious grappling contest. The demoness instantly let go of him and tried to get away, but Naruto dragged her back and tickled both her thigh and her foot.

Kyuubi laughed hysterically, knowing that she was completely at the mercy of her "attacker", but still refusing to give up.

"Do you give?" Naruto smirked, he knew he had her now!

**"N-Never!" **Kyuubi managed to get out.

Ten minutes later, Naruto and Kyuubi laid side-by-side, both exhausted and panting. Neither had succeeded in getting the other to yield, but had had a good time trying.

Naruto rolled over to face Kyuubi. "You know, you never did answer my question." he said.

Kyuubi looked at him with a raised eyebrow, barely remembering anything that had been said before their impromptu wrestling match. **"Hm? What question?"**

"Why do you want me? As a...As a mate, I mean."

**"...I want our relationship to be more than what it is now. What we have now just...doesn't cut it anymore." **Kyuubi blushed and rolled over so that he back was to Naruto. **"Not for me."**

Naruto grabbed her shoulder and turned her around again, locking eyes with the vixen. "But why? What was wrong with what we have now? What we've always had? What's changed?"

Kyuubi ran a claw gently along Naruto's cheek, tracing on of the whisker-like scars. She noticed that they were larger and more defined than the last time she had really taken the time to look at them.

**"Our bond started as one of a mother and a son. Then, sensei and apprentice. And I was fine with that. But, somewhere along the way...I noticed something. The things I was teaching you, the qualities and ideals I was instilling...Slowly, but surely, I was molding you into something more than the perfect warrior. I was shaping you into my idea of the perfect man, the ideal mate. And the more I think about it, the more appealing the idea becomes. In fact, I've already marked you." **Kyuubi placed her hand on the junction of Naruto's neck and right shoulder and applied youki to it.

As she took her hand away, a tattoo appeared. It was a stylized silhouette of a fox sitting on his haunches, with four tails curled around its legs and five more waving about behind its back. Kyuubi smiled at it, then leaned in and gave it a long, slow lick.

Naruto let out a growl as an involuntary shiver of pure pleasure ran through his entire body. "What is that?" he asked.

**"My mark, the symbol of the Kitsune. You won't be able to summon them, but when you encounter one, you will be recognized as my mate and they will leave you alone…For the most part." **Kyuubi grumbled, knowing that some of her younger sisters would be all over Naruto just to piss her off.

Kyuubi suddenly hopped onto Naruto, straddling his waist and pinning his arms to the bed. **"Now it's my turn to question you."**

Naruto squirmed a little, not to escape, but to get more comfortable.

"Shoot."

Kyuubi leaned down so that their noses touched and stared into his eyes. **"You've accepted me into your life, regardless of who and what I am, and the things I've done. You let me raise you as a mother, and guide you as a teacher. You've given yourself to me as a son and an apprentice, and, for a time, I thought I couldn't ask for more. But now, I ask you to accept me once more; as a woman. Can you give yourself to me this last time?"**

Naruto looked into the fox's eyes, searching her crimson depths for any hint of deceit. He found only honest love within the demonic orbs. Undying affection directed only at him, and he came to his decision.

"I can, and I will."

Kyuubi smiled and captured Naruto's lips with hers in a passionate, but gentle, kiss. Tears of happiness streamed from her eyes and down Naruto's cheeks. Kyuubi had finally gotten what she had wanted for nearly thirteen years. A new mate and, most importantly, a chance to start a new family. A new life altogether.

Naruto returned the kiss with equal vigor, wrapping his arms around Kyuubi once she let them go. He felt her lick his bottom lip, asking permission to enter, which Naruto granted. Kyuubi's long tongue snaked into his mouth and wrapped around his, beginning a battle for dominance.

Needless to say, Kyuubi, will all of her experience, won in the end, dragging Naruto's tongue into her own mouth and sucking on it lightly.

Naruto's eyebrow suddenly arched and Kyuubi, sensing his thoughts, broke the kiss, panting slightly.

**"Nightmare already took care of that. While you were tickling me, he used his limited control over the Soul Edge to have it absorb your body. We're in its world now, so I'm just as physical as you are." **she leaned down to take Naruto's lips again.

"But what about the time thing?" Naruto asked.

**"Already taken care of." **Kyuubi crushed her lips against his again, just as violently as the first time they had kissed.

Naruto mentally shrugged and rolled them over so that he was on top.

**(Warning, Warning, Warning! Lemon commencing now, all prudes scroll down to the next marker, indicating the end of the lemon! This lemon will be graphically detailed! You have been warned.)**

Growing out the claw on his index finger, Naruto trailed it down Kyuubi's chest, sliding it into the valley of her cleavage and pushing aside her kimono. After doing the same with the other side, Naruto grew out another claw on his opposite hand and used them to trace circles around Kyuubi's erect nipples. He squeezed both breasts experimentally, loving the feel. Not to soft, not to firm, just perfect. Larger than a handful, but not awe-inspiringly huge; again, perfect.

The demoness arched her back and moaned as her entire body tingled in delight. Naruto gently squeeze both breasts in time with Kyuubi's pounding heartbeat, working into a rhythmic kneading. She hissed in pleasure when he flicked his thumbs across her nipples, then took the left one into his mouth.

While still kneading the other, Naruto sucked on Kyuubi's breast softly, barely touching it with his tongue and gently nibbling with his sharp teeth from time to time. He found every bundle of nerves in and around the sensitive mounds of flesh, remembering the hot spots he had seen in Kyuubi's memories of her "alone time".

The demonic vixen growled and groaned in pure bliss, not knowing how Naruto knew just what to do and where to do it, and too far gone to care. She wrapped her arms around Naruto's muscular torso, dug her claws into the Biosuit and tore it from his body. The halves landed with a splat on the floor on either side of the bed, having turned into black goo after being separated from the main mass.

Naruto finished with Kyuubi's left breast, giving it a particularly hard suck and a long lick from the underside, over the nipple, and up to her chin before going to her right breast and giving it the same treatment as the left.

Kyuubi clutched the bed sheets so hard that her knuckles turned white, her claws shredding some sections. She looked down at Naruto, unable to see his face through the spiky bush that made up Naruto's blonde hair. She looked further down and noticed he still had his pants and boots on, and that simply wouldn't do, not at all. Growing two tails, she used the tips to cut Naruto's pants and boots off of his body with expert precision.

Naruto noticed the sudden draft and looked up at Kyuubi, smirking at the completely dazed expression on her beautiful face. He decided to return the favor in his own way. Letting Kyuubi's breast out of his mouth with a slight pop, he blew cold air directly onto the saliva-coated nipple, causing Kyuubi to squeak. That squeak turned into a low moan when he licked her as he had done before. But this time he slipped his tongue into her mouth, trailing it over her sharp canines and licking the roof of her mouth.

Slipping back out of her hot mouth, Naruto began his descent. Trailing butterfly kisses down the length of her body, gently nipping any hot spots he remembered, or new ones he had discovered by chance. Upon reaching her belly, he dipped his tongue into Kyuubi's navel and nibbled the skin around it.

**"Yeeeesssss!" **Kyuubi let out a low, growling hiss, forming a coherent word for the first time since Naruto started exploring her body.

Continuing downward, Naruto felt Kyuubi's patch of perfectly trimmed pubic hair tickling his chin, and moved his head to the side, kissing her inner thigh. As he kissed, nipped and licked his way down her leg, he felt the heat of one of Kyuubi's tails at the back of his neck. If he didn't get to work soon, she would get rough.

The thought of getting manhandled by Kyuubi aroused Naruto more than it probably should have, but he complied with the unspoken order nonetheless. With a small smirk, lowered his head between Kyuubi's legs, and gave her right inner thigh a playful bite, letting his teeth gently scrape over her fair skin. He then extended his tongue to deliver teasing licks to the demoness' soaked outer lips. They were puffy and swollen with arousal; hyper-sensitive to even the slightest touch.

Kyuubi sucked in a sharp breath as her back arched and her toes curled. She writhed in ecstasy, but Naruto held her by her hips, keeping her relatively still while he worked his magic.

"Oh...Fuck..." Kyuubi shuddered, her voice coming out as little more than a breathy whisper.

Naruto kept teasing the demon fox, blowing cool air over her wet folds before attacking her clit with feather-light flicks of the tip of his tongue. This earned him a small flood of Kyuubi's juices, which he gladly lapped up, noting that she tasted a bit like honey barbeque sauce. It wasn't really surprising, considering almost anything smothered in the stuff could be considered her favorite food.

'Sweet and tangy.' Naruto mentally chuckled, then rammed his tongue two-thirds of the way into Kyuubi's warm tunnel.

Kyuubi's mouth hung open in a silent scream of pleasure as her first orgasm of the day tore through her body. Darkness gathered at the edges of her vision while flashes of light dotted everything else. She wrapped her legs around Naruto's head, pulling his face into her vulva and forcing his wriggling tongue deeper into her canal, prolonging her orgasm.

Naruto took his treatment in stride, not caring about the immense pressure Kyuubi's strong legs were putting on his skull. He twisted his tongue expertly inside his lover, lavishing her vaginal walls with his saliva. He felt her inner muscles contract almost painfully on the appendage, then return to normal for before clenching again in time with her erratic heartbeat.

Kyuubi could barely move. The only muscles that seemed to be working were the ones being stroked and caressed by Naruto's masterful tongue. Just as she nearly got her breathing under control, another orgasm hit her as Naruto retracted his tongue and closed his lips around her clit, sucking on it gently. The Queen of Foxes went limp after her convulsions ceased, fighting to keep herself conscious.

'H-How is h-he doing this t-to me?! How i-is he so goooooood...?' Kyuubi thought, her own tongue lolling out of her mouth when she felt Naruto completely extract his from her still gushing pussy. She absentmindedly wondered if she could get dehydrated because of this.

Naruto gave his new mate's clit one last lick, smirking when all she could do was twitch and groan. He made his way back up her body, kissing, licking, and nibbling as he had done before. Delving into Kyuubi's navel and nibbling on the skin of her belly, then up to her breasts. He gave each one a long lick, enjoying the way they bounced and jiggled. Then finally up to the left side of Kyuubi's neck, kissing and sucking on the skin, making his own mark on her.

Kyuubi's mouth opened, releasing a sound somewhere between a soft moan and a strangled hiss. Naruto used it as an opportunity to bring her into a kiss. But, as he played with her tongue, coiling around it with his own, he couldn't help but be a bit disappointed.

Kyuubi was almost entirely unresponsive, barely even going through the motions of returning the kiss. Apparently, his ministrations had prolonged her second orgasm long enough for the third to blindside her and beat her into submission. Naruto could tell she was started to float in and out of consciousness, and that simply wouldn't do.

He remembered her main external hot spot, the one that she could never properly get to herself. He kissed her briefly on the lips before moving to the juncture of her neck and right shoulder. He licked it until he felt Kyuubi shudder, then bit down on the spot that had garnered the response.

Naruto had no way of knowing that this was more than a mere hotspot. It was THE external erogenous zone on her body, one that even her former mate steered clear of. He had tried it once, and found himself unable to handle what he had unleashed.

Kyuubi suddenly came back to life. Her eyes lost the glazed, distant look and were now burning with an unearthly desire. She tossed Naruto to her side and pounced on him, going straight to his neck and biting the mark she had put on him.

Naruto had no idea what had happened. One second, he was running the show, with Kyuubi damn near catatonic underneath him. The next, he was on his back, with Kyuubi trying to eat him! But something strange happened when she bit into his flesh and his blood flowed into her mouth. Naruto suddenly felt very weak, but not physically. He felt weak compared to Kyuubi. He felt like he wasn't worthy of her, and that he should do whatever she asked to avoid her coming to the same conclusion. He felt submissive. He wanted to be dominated by this female that was so much more powerful that him.

A feral grin graced Kyuubi's features when she heard Naruto whimper like a puppy. She leaned into his face and licked his nose before reaching behind her and tearing Naruto's boxers away, revealing his massive erection, which she took into her hands.

**"That was wonderful, Untenshi**(mate)**, but now it's my turn." **Kyuubi gave her mate's hard-on a firm squeeze, causing him to growl in pleasure. **"And I want to return the favor."** she let go, coaxing another whimper from Naruto, and slowly slid backwards.

Kyuubi used her claws to trace over the wonderfully toned muscles that made up Naruto's torso, sometimes drawing blood, but neither party cared. She licked up the crimson trails her claws made, loving the taste. There was just something about it that set her off even more. She raised her hips just enough for Naruto's member to pass under her, the swollen head barely brushing her netherlips. She brought her hips down again, just behind her lover's penis, hissing as the underside rubbed her clitoris.

**"My, my, aren't we a big boy?" **Kyuubi grasped Naruto's cock once again, moving her hand up and down at a terribly slow pace.

Kyuubi slid down even further, now sitting on Naruto's knees, and kept her grip on him. She leaned down, keeping eye contact with Naruto, and gave the head a small lick, enjoying the taste of the precum that had gathered at the tip.

Naruto growled again and laid his head back on the plush pillow. He felt her take the head of his cock into her hot mouth and suck on it gently. Too gently. She was teasing him, just as he had done to her.

Kyuubi snaked her tongue around the shaft as she slid more and more of her lover's wonderful cock into her maw. She felt the head hit the back of her throat, though she was no more than halfway down. She relaxed her muscles and suppressed her gag reflex in order to work Naruto's entire length into her mouth. She then used the muscles in her throat to massage the three and a half inches of cock in it.

The demoness held Naruto's hips to the bed to prevent him from thrusting into her mouth. She could feel him fighting her, but it didn't matter; this was her show now. Kyuubi pulled back a bit, allowing Naruto's cock to slip out of her throat, and began to bob her head up and down. constricted he penis with both her tongue and lips as she sucked her new mate off.

Naruto knew he couldn't hold out any longer, Kyuubi was just too good. She really was returning the favor, making him cum just as fast as he had made her.

"K-Kyuu-chan, I-I-I'm...!" he couldn't finish before he ejaculated straight into Kyuubi's waiting mouth.

The demoness' eyes widened as she felt Naruto's hot, sticky semen flow down her throat and into her stomach. She pulled back a little more, until only Naruto's head was inside of her lips, wanting to taste her Naruto's cum. She wasn't disappointed as the cock in her mouth fired off another jet onto her tongue. After milking him for the last drop, Kyuubi let Naruto's semi-firm member slip from her mouth with a wet pop. She savored the taste, noting that there was a slight undertone not unlike the honey barbeque sauce she loved so much, something that she had also turned him onto.

Kyuubi made sure Naruto was watching when she swallowed his thick juice, smirking when she saw his eyes follow the lump traveling down her throat.

**"Are you ready to become a real man, Naruto-kun?" **she grinned when he nodded. **"Well, we can't have this then, can we?" **she gave his semi-erect penis a long, slow lick, making it swell back to its full eight inches.

Crawling back up to eye-level with Naruto, Kyuubi straddled his hips, pinning his cock to his belly and grinding her crotch into his, covering it with her flowing nectar. She captured his lips in a fiery kiss as she lifted her hips and lined his member up with the entrance to her sex. With frustrating slowness, the fox demon sank down on Naruto's penis, feeling it stretch her inner walls.

It almost took her a full minute to sink down to the hilt, and she stayed still for a moment once she did, getting used to being filled like never before. Her old mate was never this good, not even when they were in their full-on demon forms. Kyuubi could barely believe that it was the head of Naruto's cock that was now resting against her cervix; the opening to her womb.

After twenty agonizing seconds, with Kyuubi only making small gyrations of her hips, she slowly raised her hips, her nether lips hugging his shaft the whole way. Just when it seemed she was going to let the entire thing slip out, she slammed back down, sheathing Naruto's tool within her once again. She rose again, then fell with just as much force, causing the head of her lover's cock to pound her cervix.

Kyuubi worked herself into a slow rhythm, rising and falling. Going up until only the head remained within her, then coming back down, rolling and grinding her hips at the base.

Naruto couldn't describe what he was feeling. Throughout his life, physical pleasure had been...scarce, to say the least. He was used to the other side of the coin: pain. He didn't even masturbate; something that Nightmare still routinely gave him shit about. The sheer ecstasy of the wet, searingly hot velvet vice around him was just too much for his brain to handle. But the rest of him was soon fed up with just laying back and letting things happen.

"Oooooohhhhhh yyyyeeeeeessss!" Kyuubi let out a breathy moan as Naruto started to thrust into her, hitting at just the right angle to press into her g-spot on the first try.

With that one thrust, Naruto had fucked up the rhythm. Kyuubi picked herself up and slammed back down violently on Naruto's shaft, producing a loud clap when their wet flesh connected. The bed chamber was filled with the tell-tale scents of sex, and the bed itself protested the demoness' frenzied pace, creaking and groaning in-time with every thrust.

Kyuubi grabbed Naruto's shoulders and pulled him into a sitting position. She then grabbed a fistful of his hair and brought his face to her chest. The pain of having his hair pulled brought Naruto's mind out of its dazed state, and the first thing he registered was the glorious bounty before him. Naruto wasted no time and attacked Kyuubi's breasts with fingers, lips, teeth and tongue his. Whatever hand wasn't being used to knead one of the fleshy mounds was used to steady Kyuubi as she bounced and rolled her hips on his lap.

As he lavished Kyuubi's tits with attention from his mouth and left hand, his right seemed to take on a mind of its own. It wasn't content to just hold onto Kyuubi's hip and migrated around to her left asscheek. Like the rest of her, the demoness' ass was absolute perfection. Soft and pliable, yet firm and toned; ideal for squeezing and smacking...and fucking.

Kyuubi's eyes widened and her entire body tensed as she felt her lover work a single finger between her cheeks and into her back door. She tossed her head back and screamed as Naruto hit two hot spots on her chest, her g-spot and a particularly sensitive cluster of nerves in her rear. This resulted in the most powerful orgasm Kyuubi had ever had in all of her ten-thousand years of existence. She didn't even know she had an anal hot spot!

Kyuubi collapsed onto Naruto's chest as a flood of her juices soaked both her and Naruto's crotches. She hit a smaller fifth orgasm when her heavily clenching inner muscles cause Naruto to cum as well, firing off multiple jets of semen into her hot tunnel. It was simply too much for her to handle, having been without real sex for nearly thirteen years. That would be torture for any demon, but it was especially tough on Kitsune, whose sex drives were legendary even amongst demons.

Seeing that Kyuubi could no longer continue under her own power, Naruto rolled them over so that he was on top. Kyuubi's legs automatically wrapped around his waist as he began to pump in and out of his mate. Cumming hadn't diminished his potency in the least; if anything, it just made him harder. The feeling of Kyuubi's inner muscles milking him...it was addicting. She was more than tight enough by herself, and the wetness and delicious heat were simply intoxicating. But when she clamped down on his pistoning member, it actually hurt. And that sudden combination of pain and mind-numbing pleasure was a kind of rush that Naruto had never experienced before.

But there was one facet of that rush that went beyond anything else. As Naruto looked down at Kyuubi's near-catatonic form, he found himself elated by the fact that he had brought her such pleasure. He wanted more, for both himself and her, but a one-man show wouldn't cut it. So, remembering what had happened before, Naruto leaned down and bit into the right side of Kyuubi's neck.

It worked. Kyuubi's legs gave a harsh squeeze, to the point where Naruto felt a couple ribs shift and creak inside him. She was no longer idle, bucking her hips almost frantically, urging him to go faster.

"Yes, yes, yesssss! Come on, **fuck me!"** Kyuubi wrapped her arms around Naruto's neck, pulling him into another animalistic kiss.

Naruto increased his pace, slamming into his demoness with long, powerful strokes. He could feel Kyuubi's inner walls undulating around him, just as she could feel his cock pulsing within her.

**"H-H-Harder!" **Kyuubi stuttered out her demand, squeezing the man between her legs even harder for emphasis. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she was so very thankful for Naruto being a half-demon. The power of her legs would have crushed a normal man like a tube of toothpaste.

Naruto didn't have to be told twice and redoubled his efforts, ramming Kyuubi with such force that any normal woman would be wailing in agony instead of ecstasy. He could feel Kyuubi's claws digging into the flesh of his back, but the pain only increased the pleasure, making him unintentionally bite down on her nipple. He felt her walls squeeze tighter in response and smirked. It seemed he wasn't the only one who liked a little pain.

Kyuubi was going absolutely mad. Her beautiful face twisted into an expression of pure otherworldly bliss. Her eyes were glazed over, her tongue refused to return to her mouth, and her grin would only be outmatched by the one she would go to sleep with. Her body was on autopilot, bucking against Naruto and milking his cock for all it was worth. She shifted her legs higher up on her lover's sides and gasped as she felt him slip even deeper into her sopping confines.

Everything was perfect for the moment. Naruto's pace, the power he put behind his thrusts, the way he rolled his hips to massage her clit, the way he hit every single spot inside her. Everything was perfect...Then, suddenly, it wasn't enough. She wanted more, she _needed_ more! She wanted him as deep as she could get him. She wanted him to rearrange her intestines with his wondrous cock!

**"N-Naruto-k-kun...Give me...E-Everything!" **Kyuubi's gave arched as she orgasmed for the sixth time in the last twenty minutes.

Naruto increased his pace yet again, slamming into Kyuubi's pussy with bone breaking force and blistering speed. He slipped out a couple times, but found his way back in by sheer luck. The loud and disturbing noises they made echoed around them, but only served to turn them on even more.

Naruto slammed into Kyuubi with one particularly hard thrust, growling loudly as he released his seed into his mate, then collapsing onto her chest, panting heavily.

Kyuubi groaned in pleasure as she felt her pussy overflow with Naruto's jizz. She savored the feeling of Naruto's warm cum oozing out of her stretch hole and running down the crack of her ass.

"That...was the best I've ever had...Ever..." Kyuubi whispered as she toyed with lock of Naruto's spiky hair, basking in the afterglow of her six orgasms.

Naruto looked at her and grinned. "What, you're done already?"

Kyuubi looked at Naruto with wide eyes and a jaw nearly unhinged in shock. "H-H-How?" was all she could say.

Naruto didn't answer her question, instead flipping her over onto her belly and positioning himself behind her. Before she could ask what he was doing, he grabbed her hips and plowed into her delightfully abused pussy.

Kyuubi screamed as her seventh orgasm instantly struck with the sudden, but welcome intrusion. Her eyes glazed over and her tongue rolled from the side of her mouth, small rivets of drool flying through the air as her entire body was rocked by Naruto's powerful thrusts. This is how she wanted it! She was being taken from behind, in the position that was the most natural for her. Fast, deep, and hard; just how she _loved_ it!

Naruto dug his claws into the flesh of Kyuubi's buttocks, leaving crescent-shaped wounds that closed before they even bled. He was loving everything about this! The feeling of Kyuubi's muscular ass cheeks slamming against his crotch. The almost dizzying pleasure of her inner walls constricting his member. Her blissful moans, groans and growls. The expression on her flawless face, and the sight of her long red hair splayed out along her back. Everything.

Naruto shifted into higher gear, his hips becoming a blur as he assaulted Kyuubi's soaking passage. He could feel the head of his penis smashing into the entrance of her womb, but he couldn't break through. He felt his vixen squeezing him with masterful muscle control, her walls rippling and pulsating in time with his thrusts. She was also thrusting back against him, her taught ass him nearly knocking the wind out of him.

Kyuubi was in a world all her own. She could barely see anything, her vision alternating between bright flashes and complete blackouts. She flexed her inner muscles in an effort to make Naruto cum before she passed out. She had already hit her eighth orgasm, and she figured nine would be the lucky number. Normally, she could go much longer, but this was different. She didn't know if it was because she had gone without for so long, or if Naruto was just that good. Whatever the reason, she was fading fast, and if her next "Big O" was as intense as she thought it was going to be, she knew she'd be out like a light.

She felt Naruto's cock slamming into her cervix with each one of his brutal thrusts, and idly wondered if it was possible to die from too much pleasure. Using what little strength she could muster, Kyuubi pushed back against Naruto's thrusts, taking him in deeper and harder.

Naruto knew both he and Kyuubi were near their limits. This last round was now a competition to see who could get the other to cum first. Kyuubi's pussy had a distinct advantage over his cock, so Naruto decided to "cheat". He took his hands away from her hips and reached under her body to attack her breasts. He gently squeezed the soft mounds, reveling in his mate's low moans. Those moans became breathy and high-pitched when he started to pinch and roll her nipples between his thumbs and index fingers.

The position that he was now in, leaning over Kyuubi's back, limited the length of his thrusts, but not the speed. His long and powerful thrusts turned into short, stabbing thrusts that normally meant a man was at his limit, and Naruto was no different there. He growled into Kyuubi's ear and nibbled on her earlobe while thrusting into her with all his might, rocking her entire body.

Kyuubi roared as her ninth orgasm hit her like a rampaging Demolisher demon. Tears flowed from her eyes, and drool from her mouth. She suddenly felt Naruto's cock swell within her, growing to nine inches and expanding in girth. Her breath hitched as she felt him slip even deeper.

Naruto gave one final thrust, crying out along with Kyuubi as he breached the final barrier and entered her womb, then painted it white. He clamped his jaws onto her neck, fangs easily breaking the skin and letting her blood flow into his mouth while her juices flowed out over his member. This kicked off a tenth orgasm, which piggybacked off of the ninth. It was too much for Kyuubi to handle. Her mouth hung open in a silent scream and her eyes rolled upward. Exactly two seconds later, she was in lala land.

Naruto collapsed onto his lover's back, keeping his softening penis inside of her for the moment, not minding the feeling of their combined fluids oozing out over his cock. He listened to Kyuubi's light snoring and smiled before rolling off of her and succumbing to his own fatigue, never noticing the mark forming over the love-bite he had given Kyuubi. A mark in the shape of a winged dragon.

XXXX

...Damn...Just...Damn...

This is, and probably will always be, the longest chapter in this story. The lemon went on a lot longer than I had originally planned, but I held off a bit on putting it in. My girlfriend is probably gonna kill me for this, but I've got my Last Will & Testament all ready, so I'm good. And she'll probably want to get at least one last fuck out of me before she cuts me into fifty pieces and mails me to every state, so I'll go out relatively happy.

I've written a few lemons before(and straight smut scenes), but I've never bothered to check out the feedback. Believe me, the last thing you want is to read a chronic masturbator's opinion on your story based on how many times he came...(shudder).

Here's an example of one I did make the mistake of reading.

"Normally when I whack-off, my limit is six times a day. Well, I just came seven times, so I salute you, your story, and the keyboard you typed it on! And now I must rest."

Mentally Scarring, no?

I also got one from a female, which my girlfriend responded to by getting her IP number and trying to get the police to give her the address. I had to carry her out of the station like a sack of potatoes...a screaming, biting, scratching, and kicking sack of potatoes...Word to the wise, angry sex can hurt when only one of you is angry.

Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed the lemon. I tried to keep it smutty, while at the same time writing with respect for the characters. I wanted to show that Naruto can unwind and become almost normal under the right circumstances and around the right people/person. I also wanted to show his sensual side as well, and show that his knowledge of human anatomy can be put to other uses besides killing.

The master thing with Hinata is an idea I came up with a while ago, but, at the time, I couldn't think of a reason for it. And even now I'm still not sure about my current reason, which is why I left it as an open subject that I can take in any direction. She's loyal to Naruto, but she always has been, so what's the difference now? I plan on using the master thing to get Naruto into some _interesting _situations.

Oh, and this is also the end of, what some have dubbed, the "House Arc". After this I'm thinking of some fillers...Tell me what you think of Naruto getting high. Here's what I'm thinking: While on a mission, Naruto is attacked with a poisonous gas as a last ditch effort by the man he was about to kill. The poison effects Naruto, but not in the way it was intended to. He seems fine on the way back, just a bit off balance. But when he gets back to Konoha, the former Prince of Pranks seeks to take his rightful place as the King of Chaos.

I speed-typed the hell out of this thing, so I have no idea how many errors are in it, spelling or otherwise. So if you can tell me about any errors you find so I can correct them later, that'd be great. Normally I'd do it myself, but this thing is too long for me to do that. It's just very hard for me to keep interest in my own work long enough for me to properly proofread it this time, what with me knowing just when and how things are going to happen.

Well, I hope you all enjoyed that, and once again I'm sorry for the ridiculous delay. And if you're gonna send me reviews telling me how much you fapped to the lemon(thank you and ew), just don't go into detail...at all...the numbers are bad enough, but at least I'll know if I did a good job.

(1) She's wearing the same thing she was in chapter fifteen: The Last Namikaze.

(2) From now on, this version of Naruto will be dubbed Dark Naruto. Given, Naruto's already a dark person, but this Naruto is morbid dark, almost "gothic" in nature. He's like Itachi, but more robotic and single-minded, and a bit less emotional. Example: Itachi seems to care about his life, about whether he lives or dies. Dark Naruto could care less about dying, as long as he accomplished his task, or died in the process.

(3) Yep, I took it from the game "The Suffering". The Slayers are, by far, my favorite monsters in the game. Honestly one of the best monster designs I've ever seen. Stan Winston(RIP)is the MAN!

*Edit- 5/15/09: Within this chapter a close-to physically impossible act was depicted: the penetration of the cervix. I figured everyone would know that I only put that in there for the same reasons hentai artists do: for effect. But, apparently, not everyone did. I received a PM today that consisted of someone asking me if it was really possible to penetrate the cervix. I'm not naming anyone, but you know who you are. So, instead of just explaining it to one person, I figured I'd just explain it to anyone who was curious.

IT IS NOT POSSIBLE TO PENETRATE THE CERVIX!

Also, I received a PM a while back saying that it wasn't possible to penetrate the cervix. I was going to reply to it, and explain my reasons for featuring the act. But, when I checked the text file I keep all of my PM and Review Replies in(What? Don't look at me like that), it appears that SOMEONE decided to be an asshole and tell the sender of the PM that it WAS possible to penetrate the cervix. There wasn't a username or date attached to the reply(which is how I know I didn't put it there), so I don't know who that reply was to or when it was sent. So, to whoever that was, I apologize for my jackass friend's idiocy.

Furthermore, I also received a review for chapter 28 that suffered the same fate, so I must also apologize to Stygian Styx. I will also be attaching this little "PSA" to chapter 28, since it's the only other chapter to feature a lemon.*

Jason Out!


	22. Story Of Our Lives

What's up everybody? I'm back with chapter twenty-two!

This chapter will have next to no action, and will focus mainly on some character back-story and humor. Chapter twenty-three will be the Naruto Gets High filler, but it will only be one chapter long, and it will have something to do with the main story. I, like many other people, hate the filler arcs in the Naruto anime. Given, some, like the Kakashi's Mask one, are funny as hell, but others, the bullshit with the monkey, are just pointless and retarded.

Hope you enjoy the new chapter!

XXXX

(Outside World, Two Days Later)

Naruto awoke to find himself in an unfamiliar room. It was blindingly white, from his point of view, and reeked of sterilizers. He heard the rhythmic beeping of the machine that monitored his heart rate, and then it all clicked. He was in a hospital, a place that he loathed more that almost any other location in Konoha. The staff here always treated him like shit, unless one of the "Demon Loving" shinobi were around, in those cases they just treated him with indifference. The nurses frequently tried to poison him, then screamed about being attacked when he woke up before they could do anything.

He had witnessed a doctor injecting air into his iv tube, which he had taken out of his skin an hour before the attempted assassination. When he was younger, some of the staff had even tried to smother him with pillows. But he didn't really mind it anymore. He believed the hospital rooms needed to be repainted anyway, and he was quite partial to crimson.

There had been so many _complications_(deaths) while he was at the hospital, they now had a set of rules specifically for dealing with him.

Naruto just happened to be looking at a list of said rules that was hanging on the door.

'Rule One: Don't try to touch him or anything that belongs to him, or he'll kill you.

Rule Two: Don't use lighters and/or matches in his presence.

Rule Three: Don't cancel any Genjutsu when entering his room, that's what he wants you to do because he enjoys hearing people scream.

Rule Four: Always smell the room before entering. If it smells like blood, call some ANBU to search the room. He usually hides bodies in the ceiling so they drop down on people.

Rule Five: Watch out for any strings or wires. If you find any, do NOT touch them, just mind your footing and slowly back out of the room.

Rule Six: There is never just one Naruto in the room. Don't try to find them all, because you'll always miss the one that's in the most obvious place: behind you.

Rule Seven: Do NOT touch his sword! He won't kill you for it, but the sword itself will.

Rule Eight: Do NOT mention the word "Rapist" in the same breath as his name, there are many other ways of committing suicide that don't involve nearly as much pain.

Rule Nine: Don't call him "Demon" or anything of the like. He'll just laugh at you, then slowly drive you insane by making your life a living hell.

Rule Ten: If he seems even the slightest bit angry, leave the room immediately and contact Dr. Mirano or one of his personal staff.

Rule Eleven(New): Don't try to hide things. Keep all items in plain sight, as well as your hands.

Rule Twelve(New): Don't come in with a cheery disposition. Cheer dispositions annoy him.

And finally, Rule Thirteen(New): Pay attention to EVERY shadow in the room. If it moves, even when the object casting it doesn't, leave the room. If he tolerates you, you'll never know about the shadows. If he doesn't like you, that's a warning, and you have ten seconds to get out of his personal space. Less depending on what mood he's in at the time.'

Naruto sweatdropped at the list of rules that applied specifically to people that had to deal with him. He just knew the nurses were drawing straws right now. He suddenly tensed as he felt four different presences in the room with him and two outside the door.

"Who's there?" he demanded, and was surprised when Affectus materialized out of thin air.

"Naruto-sama, good to see you awake." the ninja demon bowed slightly.

Naruto's eyebrow twitch a bit at being addressed with such respect, but said nothing of it. Instead, he asked what would be the most obvious question at the moment.

"How long was I out?"

"It has been two days since your altercation with the onigumo. A doctor Mirano Itora saw to you on the first day. Clementia searched his memories to see if he could be trusted to care for you. The girl, Hinata, I believe you called her, was moved to the room next to yours. It seems as though she woke up while the medical staff was transporting her to a private room. She demanded to either be in the same room as you, or be in the room next to yours. They said you were too dangerous to have someone else in the room with you, so they gave into her demands and let her take the room to the left of yours. She must rank pretty highly in this village for people to buckle to her that easily, for she isn't intimidating in the least."

Naruto nodded, satisfied and a bit amused with the answers. "So, what happened after I passed out?"

"I and the other eight Guardians took you here after those other shinobi gave us the directions. They also accompanied us. The masked ones had to leave, something about "Reporting back to the Hokage", whoever that is, but they wished you luck in your recovery. The purple-haired one is currently in the girl's room next door. She's been here the entire time, alternating between the waiting room and the girl's room. But whenever she walks passed your room she just looks at it, then rushes into the girl's room. She appears to be sad for some reason."

"So, Anko's still here?" Affectus nodded, not knowing the woman's name, but assuming they were talking about the same person. "What happened after I healed Hinata? I want to know everything."

Affectus nodded and began to relay the events to his summoner.

(Flashback)

After Naruto had collapsed, everyone rushed over to him and Hinata. Isaro checked both of their pulses and gasped in surprise.

"She...she's alive...but barely, we still need to get her to the hospital!" the medical ANBU said.

Naruto's summoned demons, minus Insontis and Ignotus because they were too short, picked up Naruto and Hinata's bodies, being especially careful with the human girl. Pondera turned to the other humans, who were currently staring at them with no small amount of apprehension.

"Where is the hospital?" has asked, though, coming from someone like him, it was more of a demand.

The ANBU and Anko all looked at each other, then back at the demons. "We'll lead you there, follow us." Inaro and Mitara dashed off, the demons not far behind, with Isaro and Anko monitoring Hinata and Naruto's conditions.

You could only imagine the looks on the villagers' faces when they saw two of their ANBU being "chased" through the streets by ten demons, one of them being a giant shark/man/thing.

More ANBU joined the scene, wanting to know what the hell was going on.

"Captain Mitara, Inaro-san, slow the hell down!" the lead ANBU yelled over the rushing wind.

"We can't! We have to get Naruto and the HYŪGA to the hospital!" Mitara stressed the word "Hyūga", knowing that these ANBU didn't give a damn about Naruto, but if it was a Hyūga, they wouldn't give them any trouble.

"Oh, forgive me, sir, I didn't know! We'll escort you to make sure there isn't any trouble!"

Inaro snorted. "Look beside you, dude! Do you really think anyone in their right mind would mess with them?" he pointed specifically at Reformo, who growled, though no one heard it.

'**Why am I the one that's always singled out? What about Morium? He's a beastman too! And Vereor is a fucking skeleton! Damned humans, always discriminatin'...' **the sharkman mentally grumbled.

Morium and Vereor mentally pouted.__'Why does he always get the fear? We're just as scary as he is!'

Clementia, who had a habit of reading her fellow Guardian's minds, giggled at their thoughts. While they had panic-inducing appearances, they acted like children when they thought no one was watching, or listening in her case.

After reaching the hospital, they didn't bother using the doors, opting to just smash through a wall instead. This was not only faster than using the doors, it caused mass panic in the hospital and soon they had every doctor and nurse in the building staring at them.

"Outta the goddamn way!" a gruff voice shouted from somewhere within the mob. There was a loud growl and two interns that weren't smart enough to move were thrown to the side as Mirano Itora made his way through the throng of medical staff.(1)

Noticing Naruto and Hinata's conditions, Mirano instantly kicked into action. He called over his personal staff and told them to look after Naruto while the others took Hinata. Though they were all more than a little afraid of the demonic summons, they figured if something was going to happen it would have already. Besides, the ANBU seemed fine with them.

While carting her off, Hinata suddenly awoke, as if feeling that she was no longer close to Naruto, and started thrashing around. She displayed strength that none knew she had, actually tossing one of the interns and knocking down two nurses.

"Where is he?" the irate girl demanded.

"Where's who, Hyūga-sama?" an ANBU with a sparrow mask, attracted by the sudden commotion, asked.

"Where's Naruto-kun?" Hinata raged, though she had no idea why she was so angry.

The ANBU seemed to be taken aback by this. "But Hyūga-sama, why would you want to see that de-!" he never got to finish his sentence as the blade of a katana pierced his heart and silenced him forever.

"Damned newbies, never know when to shut up." Mitara, who was also attracted by the shouting, shook his head and sheathed his katana before looking at Hinata, who didn't seem to give a damn about the corpse laying at her feet. "Naruto is being taken to room two-twenty-seven."

Hinata narrowed her eyes at the new ANBU. "Take me to him...take me to his room...I need...to be near him."

Mitara was about to say something, but was beaten to it by a nurse. "But Hyūga-sama, that d..." the nurse glanced at Mitara, whose katana was already halfway out of its sheath. "That _boy_ is far too dangerous to be in the same room with you! He's way too unpredictable to be trusted!" the nurse was answered with a fist to the face, courtesy of Hinata.

"Well, I bet no one expected me to do that! Now I'm unpredictable too, so take me to Naruto-kun! NOW!" the Hyūga heiress screamed.

Mitara slowly inched away from the girl. He didn't know what was going through the girl's mind, but he didn't know if it was a good idea to bring her to Naruto. Whatever he had done to save her life must have had some adverse effects on her mind. Mitara wasn't sure if she wanted to beat the boy to a bloody pulp, or rape him while he was in his comatose state.

Eventually, his own curiosity, and the evil glint Hinata had in her eyes as she looked at his package and reached for her kunai pouch, won out over his common sense, and he led to girl to Naruto's room.

When they got there, Hinata didn't even bat an eye at the demons that were guarding to door. Only when one of them, Pondera, blocked her path did she acknowledge their presence.

"I'm sorry, young one, but we can't allow you to enter this room." Ignotus said. He assumed that this girl was Naruto's girlfriend, or something of the like, and he hated to get in the way of young love. But the new summoner's health came before his love-life.

Hinata hissed at the old demon, then looked at tall robed figure before her. "Oh really? Well, how about I give you some..._incentive_ to let me pass?" she asked with fake innocence.

Ignotus, against his better judgment, decided to see how this would play out. "Hm? Like what?"

"How about I break your kneecaps, beat you with your own staff, then shove it up this walking sperm cell's ass?" Hinata shouted loud enough for half the hospital to hear.

Ignotus's eyebrows shot up to his forehead, revealing his slate-grey eyes. 'Holy...the language of today's youth is...appalling to say the least.'

The other demons, minus Insontis, who couldn't hear anything, chuckled/giggled.

_"Dude, I told you__,__ you shouldn't wear so much white, but you never listened." _Vereor laughed.

Pondera just stood there, shocked and slightly offended, just staring down at the child in front of him.

Clementia, being the "nice one" of the group, relayed the goings on to Insontis through telepathy so he could share in the laughter as well. A series of short hissing sounds came from the cherub-like demon.

Hinata turned her attention to the laughing demons and snarled. "What are you laughing at? You're all just as bad, if not worse, than Jizzman over here! We've got a senile old man that probably can't find his own shriveled little dick! I'll bet your sperm bares a striking resemblance to chalk dust."

Hinata looked from Ignotus to Reformo. "And here's Captain Overbite, here to wreck the day! You smell like the catch of the day, but look like the Creature from the Black Lagoon!"

She looked at Vereor. "I always heard of people having skeletons in their closets, well it looks like this one came out of the closet! I'll bet your name was Lance when you were alive."

Then it was Affectus' turn. "You...You're alright...except for your other eye. What happened, did your boyfriend miss your mouth?"

Clementia. "What are you, the group whore? I'll bet you've been passed around more than a new inmate on D-Block."

Morium. "I don't know whether to insult you, or make a nice pair of boots and a purse."

Insontis. "Aww, I guess no more whacky-whacky for you!" Hinata moved her hand like she was giving someone a handjob.

Veneratio. "That's a pretty big sword...seems to me like you're compensating for something...I'm so glad Naruto-kun doesn't have that problem."

And finally, Fragilitas. "And no group of Ass Bandits is complete without the BDSM freak! You look kinda like an alien, though I'll bet you didn't come from Uranus, you came _in HIS_ anus!" Hinata jerked her thumb in Pondera's direction.

"Now, if you don't move out of my way, I'm gonna put you in a retirement home; make you into sushi; put a chastity belt on you; turn you _into_ a belt; dunk you in a tank of spermicides; shove those hooks up your ass; introduce you to your fellow spandex freaks, Lee and Gai; hang you up as a Halloween decoration; get you a cock pump; and flush you down the toilet just like my sister's fish, Bubbles, you bondage-loving asswipe!" Hinata raged, then passed out from emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion.

The Guardians, as well as everyone else that had heard the girl's verbal rampage, just stared at her, slack-jawed and unable to move. They had never heard _anyone_, even the most vulgar of demons, throw around insults like that. It seemed that she didn't even have to think about them, they just naturally flowed from her head and out of her mouth. She had just insulted ten demons all in the same breath, without even showing the slightest bit of fear or hesitation.

'She must really have it bad for the kid.' Pondera thought as he scratched his head through his hood.

Clementia, who looked to be the most effected, looked at her friends. "Is that was everyone thinks when they see I'm the only female here? That I'm the group slut?" the others just looked away...except for Fragilitas, who nodded. At this point the female demon wanted nothing more than to find a nice, dark corner and wallow in self-pity. But she had a job to do, as did they all.

Reformo looked over to the doctors and nurses that had followed Hinata to Naruto's door. **"What the hell are you humans waiting for, someone to say 'Green light'?"** he spoke for the first time in decades, scaring the crap out of most everyone there, who didn't know he could talk, or had forgotten.

The Doctors remained frozen, not knowing what to do.

Reformo growled. **"GREEN LIGHT, DAMMIT!"** the doctors dashed in and carried the unconscious Hyūga away, but stopped when Mitara called out.

"You might want to put her in room two-twenty-eight, that is, unless you want her to go on another rampage when she wakes up and finds she's not close to her 'Naruto-kun'." the ANBU snickered when the doctors backpeddled and kicked open the door to room two-twenty-eight.

Anko, Zabuza, Inaro, Isaro, Kurohane, Haku, Chigusa, and Kiriko were all just frozen in place, having went to the vending machines for snacks, figuring Naruto and Hinata were alright, and had returned just in time to catch Hinata's rant.

Anko actually had a tear coming from her eye as she looked at her apprentice being carried away. 'That's my girl!'

(End Flashback)

"And that's what happened." Affectus said.

Naruto mentally recorded the images he had gotten from his summon through their telepathic link and stored it away. He would use it for a good laugh and as blackmail when he next met Hinata. Oh yes, he was evil like that.

"So, anything else of interest happen while I was out?"

Affectus rubbed his chin, then snapped his fingers. "Ah, something did happen involving you and your sword. Shorty after you were brought in, your body burst into black dust, then was absorbed into your blade. We knew you were still there, due to our mental link, but you should have seen the medical teams running around like chickens with their heads cutoff." the ninja demon chuckled slightly.

Naruto nodded, then decided to ask a dumb question, in his mind at least. "So, did anyone bother to visit?"

Affectus thought for a moment, then answered. "Yes, actually. A girl with pink hair and green eyes came here looking for Itora Mirano, but he was busy with you, so he assigned one of his nurses to her. A man with long brown hair and white eyes came in a few hours ago. He asked one of the nurses for Hinata's room, but didn't bother to enter. He just stared at the door, then mumbled 'Pathetic' to himself, then left. From what Clementia glimpsed from his memories, he was the girl's father."

Naruto nodded. "Hyūga Hiashi, one of the only people in this village with a stick further up his ass than Sasuke."

Affectus snorted in amusement, then continued retelling the events of the day. "Let's see...Some of the nurses drew straws to see which one had to check and see if you had returned, but we sensed ill will from them and barred them from entering. Some other nurses played rock-paper-scissors to decided, but we stopped them again. Pondera is guarding your door, while Vereor is guarding Hinata's door. Clementia, Insontis, Morium, and I are in here guarding you. Veneratio and Fragilitas are on the roof. Ignotus is around here somewhere, probably watching those 'televisions' that he's so fascinated with now. And Reformo said he was hungry, so he went hunting in a river we passed on the way here, though I think he really left to get away from the stares. Normally he likes the fear, but ever since that girl insulted us all, he's been quite...self-conscious about he appearance. He tried to use his more humanoid form, but then people started calling him 'Kisame' and attacked him."

Naruto chuckled. "He just can't catch a break, can he? I hope those insults didn't effect him too much, I heard all sharks were thick-skinned."

Affectus chuckled as well, then disappeared when the click of the doorknob turning was heard. Mirano walked through to door and looked surprised to see Naruto sitting upright in the bed.

"About goddamned time you showed up! You had us all worried sick!" the one-eyed doctor exclaimed.

"Sorry about that. I had some..._business _to attend to, and I couldn't have anyone listening in.

Mirano nodded in understanding. "Kyuubi wanted to talk to you about something?"

Naruto would have blushed if it was possible for him to be embarrassed. "...You could say that." his Biosuit shifted to his shinobi attire and he moved to get out of the bed, but was stopped by Mirano.

"Where do you think you're going?"

"To report to Hokage-sama, he'll want to know about this." it was the only excuse Naruto could come up with, as he didn't really have a set destination.

The medic shook his head. "Is that the best you could do? Do you really think something of this magnitude wouldn't be reported to the Sandaime after two days? You should know by now that there are seals on these walls that prevent any external chakra use, and I activated them a while ago, so your little shadow trick isn't going to work here. The only way out of here is through me, and we both know I could paralyze you before you even cleared the bed. So just lay down, and go back to sleep, or something. Occupy yourself, play some cards, there's a deck in the drawer next to you." Mirano turned to leave, but looked at the heart monitor and stopped. "...That thing's not hooked up to you, is it?"

Naruto shook his head. "Nope, it's monitoring the heart rate of another..." his cloak suddenly shot up and impaled the ceiling. The monitor flatlined, then turned off by itself as blood dripped from the ceiling to the floor.

Mirano looked up and sighed. "They usually end up in the ceiling _after_ they die. I'll get the clean-up crew." he then walked out mumbling something to himself.

Naruto laid back and growled, then rolled over and opened the top drawer to the nightstand. He pulled out a new deck of cards and tore off the wrapper before shuffling them.

"...Any of you guys know how to play blackjack?" he asked.

Affectus, Clementia, and Morium appeared in the room next to his bed. Naruto was about to say something when the door to his room was suddenly kicked open and Pondera jumped in, acting like he had just discovered the wonders of coffee.

"Blackjack? Who said blackjack? I heard blackjack. Who's playing blackjack? I wanna play blackjack!" the robed demon said all in the same breath.

Naruto just cocked his head to the side and said nothing, wondering what the hell was wrong with his summon.

Clementia sighed. "Pondera's a bit of a gambling freak."

Pondera moved over to Naruto's bed, then picked it up and threw it across the room, imbedding it in a wall. Naruto had the sense to jump out of the bed as soon as the demon grabbed it.

"Let's get the party started!" Pondera took a scroll out of his sleeve, bit his thumb, then swiped the blood across the seal. A large poker table appeared in a puff of smoke, complete with chips.

Naruto just shook his head before he grabbed folding chairs for visitors and sat down at the table. He was about to ask where the others would sit, but when Pondera took another scroll out, he just twitched. This demon really was a gambling freak!

After the cards were dealt out, everyone looked at their hands. Morium smirked, which everyone saw.

"Withdraw." four voices chorused as Naruto, Clementia, Affectus, and Pondera laid down their cards.(2)

Morium looked dumbfounded, then looked at the others, seeing that they all had some type of face-covering. Naruto, Clementia and Affectus with their masks, and Pondera with his hood.

"Oh, screw you all!"

(Hokage's Office)

Sarutobi sighed for what had to be the twentieth time in the last ten minutes. Naruto's groups of misfits were in front of him, again, this time wanting to know where they were supposed to stay after Zabuza and Kurohane had destroyed the eighth floor of the hotel they were in.

"Okay, run this by me again...How did you two manage to destroy an entire floor?" the Third asked, finding the story quite amusing.

"Well," Zabuza started, "we had just got our rooms, and everything seemed fine. We had worked out sleeping arrangements with the girls sharing a room and me getting one to myself. But, she" he glared at Kurohane, who just flipped him off, "had a problem with that. She said the girls' room was too crowded and she wanted my room. At first I was fine with it because I was tired as hell, but when I laid down in the master bedroom, she threw a fit and tried to make me sleep on the couch!"

Kurohane glared at the swordsman. "What? That's not how it happened! I was trying to take a shower and I saw you peeking at me through a hole in the ceiling!"

Zabuza scoffed. "For the last fucking time: I. Was. Asleep! By the time you were screaming, I was snoring, so don't you dare try and blame that shit on me!"

Sarutobi scratched his chin, ignoring the two warriors' childish bickering for the moment.

"Kurohane, was it? Do you know that it was Zabuza that was peeking on you? Could it have been someone else? Someone that saw you go in perhaps."

Kurohane thought about it for a second. "You know, now that you mention it, a lot of guys were watching me, but there was this really creepy one that actually had me worried for a second."

The Sandaime nodded, already having an idea who it was. "Can you give me a description of this man?"

The raven summon nodded. "He was tall, around six foot six, have spiky white hair and a long ponytail, these weird kabuki clothes, and these odd red tattoos running from his eyes to his cheeks."

The Hokage leaned back in his chair and smacked his forehead. "Jiraiya, what are you doing here now?" he vividly remembered the last time his student was in Konoha. He wasn't there to give any information about Akatsuki or Orochimaru, he was there to promote the film adaptation of his Icha Icha books, which he was directing.

That was all well and good, but it was what the man did when he wasn't promoting his film that was the real pain in the ass.

But this was a new low for the Toad Sage. Sure he'd take any opportunity to peek on girls, but only in a public setting where it was easy for anyone to see the women. But now he was breaking into hotel rooms and peeking in on showers through ceilings? That was just too much. It was time for a meeting.

He knew that his student wouldn't come to his office if he even had the slightest idea of what it was about, so he'd have to be forced to come. Sarutobi pressed the button on the intercom to his secretary.

"Mihoshi-san?"

"Yes, Hokage-sama?"

"I need you to put this bulletin up in the ANBU headquarters. Jiraiya of the Sannin has been spotted in the village, one-hundred-thousand ryō to all members of any ANBU squad that brings him into my office for a little chat. This goes for Jōnin as well."

"Yes sir, right away."

The Hokage turned back to Zabuza and Kurohane. "Now then, what...? Where's Zabuza?"

The others looked around, none having noticed him leave.

Haku smacked her forehead. "He went to hunt down Jiraiya." everyone sweatdropped.

Sarutobi instantly pulled out his all-seeing crystal ball, not wanting to miss the spectacle that was sure to unfold any minute.

"Pull up a chair and enjoy the show, I know I will." the Hokage grinned as he changed the ball to projector mode.

(Random Bathhouse)

We find Jiraiya of the Sannin crouched in the bushes with a notepad in his hands and tissues in his nose. His pen was little more than a blue blur as he scribbled furiously, he eyes never leaving the sight before him.

Three girls in their early twenties were splashing around in the nearby river. They weren't kunoichi, judging from all the noise they were making, but they had the figures to fool anyone.

"Oh yes, my little brunette, pose for me...Eighty-five centimeter bust, fifty-nine centimeter waist, eighty-three centimeter hips...So well filled out, definitely the best of the bunch." the ninja giggled perversely. "You're gonna make this next book another bestseller, yes you are!" so wrapped up in his "research", he didn't notice the ANBU walking up behind him.

Clearing his throat, Mitara caught Jiraiya's attention. "Jiraiya of the Sannin?"

Jiraiya turned to greet the man, assuming it was just another one of his loyal readers looking for an autograph. But he was, instead, met with the emotionless mask of an ANBU and the stares of about eighty others.

"The Sandaime wishes to speak with you."

Jiraiya narrowed his eyes and prepared to make his escape. "Well, he's gonna have to wait until a later time, I'm busy right now."

Mitara took a look over the bushes and snorted before yelling, "PERVERT!" the girls screamed and took off.

Jiraiya, instead of getting mad, just smirked. "Joke's on you, Eagle-san, now I have to find more muses. Bye-bye now." he turned to leave, only to be greeted by the sight of about fifty Jōnin.

"We are going to bring you into Hokage-sama's office, whether you like it..." Mitara, as well as the rest of the ANBU and Jōnin, slid into a Taijutsu stance, "or not."

Just as they were about to pounce on the self-proclaimed "Super Pervert", multiple smoke bombs went off and obscured their vision.

"Don't worry, Jiraiya-sama, I'll save you!" a male voice rang out through the smoke. The smoke cleared just enough for Mitara to activate his Kekkei Genkai and spot movement. Zooming in on the small dot in the distance, the ANBU could just make out silver hair and a face mask. "KAKASHI, YOU TRAITOR!" he screamed in frustration, then took off after the Jōnin along with his squad.

Said ninja heard the scream and picked up his pace, as did Jiraiya. "Why are they after you in the first place?"

Jiraiya shrugged as best he could while running. "Beats me, I just got here a few hours ago!" he felt over a hundred chakra signatures gaining on them. "Shit, we can't outrun them all!"

An odd glint found its way into Kakashi's eye and he took a small note book out of one of his pockets and handed it to Jiraiya.

"What's this?" the God of Perverts asked.

"I've been doing my own..."research" in hopes of collaborating with you on your next masterpiece. I know of a place where no one will ever find us, and we can peep on women all we want!"

Jiraiya's eyes sparkled at the possibilities of such a location. "Do tell, Kakashi-kun, where is this sacred place?"

Kakashi chuckled. "Funny you should say it's sacred. It's near a shrine on top of a cliff over looking a waterfall and a small lake. Some of the most beautiful women you can ever imagine visit that lake because of its clean waters and year-round pleasant temperatures. The holy energies that surround the shrine mask chakra signatures for some reason, but I'm not one to look a gift horse in the mouth."

Jiraiya gazed upon Kakashi like he was his long-lost son. "...If you weren't a guy, I'd hug you right now."

Kakashi just sweatdropped and put his hand on Jiraiya's shoulder. "Come on, I'll use Body Flicker to get us there. Don't want them following us and discovering the holy place." Jiraiya nodded and they disappeared in a puff of smoke.

Imagine Jiraiya's surprise when he appeared in front of his old sensei, who didn't look all too surprised to see him.

"Here he is, Hokage-sama. Now, where to I collect this reward?"

The Sandaime smirked at Jiraiya's dumbfounded expression, then pointed at the door. "Mihoshi-chan has it all ready for you, Kakashi-kun."

Kakashi nodded, then looked at Jiraiya apologetically. "I'm sorry, Jiraiya-sama, but the money..."

Jiraiya held up his hand. "No need to apologize to me...just tell me this; does the Holy Place really exist?"

Kakashi nodded. "That, Jiraiya-sama, is something not even I would lie about." then left the office.

Jiraiya sighed and looked at Sarutobi. "So, what do you want, you old monkey?"

The Hokage rolled his eyes. "I'm tempted to say something about the pot and the kettle, but I'll let that one slide. Kurohane-san, is this the creepy man you saw?"

Kurohane looked at Jiraiya, whose eyes were glued to her chest, and growled. "Yep, that's him alright. I'll never forget the grin on his face...just like the one he has now."

A flash of metal caught Jiraiya's eye and he looked to his right, then turned serious when he saw the "Demon of the Bloody Mist", Zabuza Momochi, lounging on the couch.

"What is an B-Class nuke-nin doing in your office, Hokage-sama? And why is he wearing a Leaf forehead protector?" the man's hand inched towards his kunai pouch.

Sarutobi puffed on his pipe, not worried in the slightest. "Momochi-san here is now a shinobi of Konoha, along with his group: Haku-san, Chigusa-san, and Kiriko-san. They, along with Kurohane-san, are the loyal followers of one, _Namikaze_ Naruto."

Jiraiya's head whipped towards his sensei, then he turned to the other occupants of the room. "All of you, leave, now. This conversation just turned private." his tone left no room for argument.

Sarutobi wrote down something on a sticky-note and handed it to Zabuza. "Naruto owns this apartment complex because he killed the previous owner, you can all live there. Here's the address."

The other nodded and headed out after Zabuza.

Jiraiya sat down in the chair in front of the Hokage's desk and stared at the old man. "Tell me everything."

The Sandaime sighed, then began to tell the man what he knew of Naruto, leaving out what he felt Naruto wouldn't want him to know.

(Two Hours Later)

"...And that's pretty much it."

Jiraiya leaned back in the chair and sighed heavily.

"So, in short: he not only knows about the Kyuubi, but talks to HER on a regular basis. He knows who his parents are, and hates them with every fiber of his being. He wants to kill his mother, who also wants to kill him. He has a sword that devours the souls of its victims when they come into contact with it. He is the holder of the Raven summoning contract, and summoned Lord Garandou on his first try. That girl that was in here just happens to be the Raven Boss' youngest daughter. He's at a high enough level to kick both Kakashi and Zabuza's asses. He's the only human on the planet that has control of the Darkness element. He copied the entire Forbidden Scroll of Sealing, and used the Miracle Hand successfully on his first try. Learned and mastered the Rasengan to the point where he's creating variations of it in under a week. And that's only the stuff that he's told you, so that means there's much more that he's hiding...And I'm certain that you're hiding something as well, but I won't pursue the matter. Don't want the brat to get mad a me, it'll make training him all the more difficult."

Sarutobi snorted at that. "You? Train _him_? I'd love to see you even get near him without him trying to tear you apart! He's not going to want training from you, especially since he already knows most of the techniques you do. What could you possibly teach him that he doesn't already know, or can't just pick up from the Forbidden Scroll? How to prefect the art of perversion? I don't think he'll be amused with that."

Jiraiya's eyebrow twitched. "For you information, _'Professor'_, there is plenty that I can teach him. You think he's the only one who's read the Forbidden Scroll? I've been to every elemental country, and every shinobi village known to man, so I can proudly say that I've surpassed even Orochimaru in terms of my arsenal of techniques. Besides, that scroll only contains techniques that are Forbidden in Konoha, so it has very few Lightning, Earth, Water, and Ice techniques.

And even though he hates Minato, he can't deny his father's power, and he got there because of me! He should be honored that one such as I have selected him as my next student!" the white-haired man puffed out his chest in pride.

The Hokage sweatdropped. "Uh-huh...who are you trying to convince, me or yourself? Because I can assure you that Naruto won't be convinced by just your words, he's going to want a fight."

Jiraiya's chest puffed out even more. "Hah! That brat thinks he can take me on? I'll wipe the floor with him, then toss him into the women's hot springs when the kunoichi Jōnin and ANBU are relaxing! I shall make him feel the pain of a thousand perverts!"

"Joke while you can, Jiraiya, but do not underestimate him. He will kill you without a millisecond of hesitation, and he'll enjoy it. You may be much stronger than he is, but he didn't survive on the streets for all these years with brute strength alone. If you don't take him seriously right off the bat, he will kill you. If you let your guard down, even slightly, he will kill you. If you take your eyes off of him, for even a second, he will kill you. And if you so much as mention anything about the Yondaime, he will _destroy_ you." the Sandaime's tone carried his point across just as well as he words did.

Jiraiya was started to sweat. "Geez, c-calm down, Sarutobi-sensei. You sound like you're...scared of him, or something..."

Sarutobi didn't reply, he just stood from his chair and looked out over the village that he had watched over for so many years.

"...You want the truth, Jiraiya? The truth is...yes, I am scared of him. Who in their right mind wouldn't be? His current abilities are overshadowed only by what he will be able to do in the future. He went from not even being able to defend himself against drunk civilians, to being able to take on an A-Class Jōnin in six years. That kind of improvement in almost unheard of. In fact, the last people to reach those levels so quickly were Orochimaru and Uchiha Itachi...and we both know how they turned out. Give Naruto a few more years? Well, I pray for the poor soul that incites his anger.

To be honest, I'm glad he's so apathetic. That means it will take something drastic to truly anger him; something no one in this village has the balls to do. But I fear that the day when his rage rears its ugly head, will be the same day Konohagakure no Sato will become little more than a memory. He has the power to destroy this place...to destroy us all, and he knows it...Let us hope...Let us pray that he never decides to use that power."

Jiraiya walked up next to his sensei, joining him in gazing out over the village with the same grim look on his face. "...It is a deceptively sunny day, isn't it?"

Sarutobi nodded, then recited a verse from an old poem he had once read. "'And the sun shall shine brightly, unobscured, for one day, revealing the devil's hiding place: the shadow of a child.'"

(With Zabuza And Co.)

After walking for a bit, the group began to notice that the area they had walked into was drastically different than the ones they had passed through before. This place was full of run-down apartment buildings and the remnants of old shops that had long since relocated. Shards of glass from broken windows littered the ground and crunched under their feet.

"...This must be the slums." Zabuza said.

"Thank you, Captain Obvious." Kurohane quipped.

Zabuza growled. "You're welcome, Tanya Titfuck." he smirked as he remembered the name of a stripper that had been at a friend's bachelor party.

Kurohane bristled at the comment. "Do you always have to be an asshole?"

"Do you do bukkake?" Zabuza countered.

"Perverted Pig!" Kurohane snapped.

"Twin Peaks." Zabuza said lazily.

"No Brow!"

That one struck a cord with Zabuza. "Back-alley Whore!"

"Goat Fucker!"

"Bondage Bitch!"

"Ass Pirate!"

"Implants!"

"Needle Dick!"

"Hermaphrodite!"

"Prison Bitch!"

"Necrophile!"

"Pedophile!"

"VIRGIN!"

Kurohane gasped in disbelief. "..."

"That's right, I know!" Zabuza crossed his arms over his chest and grinned smugly.

It was at that moment Kurohane decided to change the subject, avoiding a direct consent to defeat.

"I think that's Naruto-kun's apartment complex!" the summon ran off ahead of the group, leaving behind three confused and flustered girls and a smirking Zabuza, whose ego had just gone up a couple notches.

When the others caught up with Kurohane, they found her staring up at the apartment complex before her, not moving at all.

"What's her problem?" Zabuza asked, then looked up and found himself in the same state as Kurohane.

The girls looked at each other, then up at the building, and their jaws dropped, except for Seizonsha's, since she really had no idea what was going on.

"It...It's a..." Haku tried to say.

"A...uh...a..." Chigusa couldn't get it out either.

"It's...a...dump..." Kiriko's eye twitched.

"...This is..." Zabuza started.

"Seriously..." Kurohane gaped.

"Where..." Haku.

"Naruto-nii-chama..." Kiriko.

"Lives...?" Chigusa.

They all just continued to stare, smacking aside the occasional hobo that tried to steal something.

"...Maybe it's better on the inside?" Haku offered.

The others didn't see any problem with her logic. After all, who would advertise the fact that they were loaded in an area like this? So, they went inside. They found it a little weird that there would be one door in an apartment complex, but maybe Naruto had done something with the bottom floor? While there was one door on the first floor, the other three above it had the standard numbered doors to the individual rooms.

Zabuza reached for the doorknob, but felt a sudden sense of foreboding, like there was something in there that was better off, for their sake, kept behind the door. But, Zabuza wouldn't be deterred. After all, he had faced down a small army of giant zombie lizards! What was worse than that?

Brave, Zabuza may have been, but stupid, he was not. He motioned for the others to stand to the side of the door, then quickly turned the knob and jerked the door open while hiding behind it. This turned out to be a life-saving decision, as a gigantic ball of red flames shot out of the doorway. The ball seemed to ignore the laws of physics(what doesn't in the ninja world?) and smashed into a condemned building across the street, instantly turning the structure into a pile of molten stone and metal.

"She-it!" Zabuza's eyes widened.

(With Naruto)

"Hit." Naruto said when his turn came around.

"How many?" Pondera asked from behind his wall of chips.

"One." Naruto said, also from behind a wall of chips.

Pondera's hand came from behind the wall and felt around for the deck of cards. After finding it, he picked the top card up and slid it across the table to Naruto, who picked it up and smirked behind his mask.

"Stand." the boy said, giving away absolutely nothing with his monotonous drawl.

Morium, who had taken to wrapping a pillow case around his head to conceal his expressions, also called a hit and was given a card.

"SON OF A BITCH!" the crocman roared, slamming his hand down on the table and causing both Naruto and Pondera's chip walls to fall.

"Great, now they're all mixed up! Was anyone keeping track of the score?" Pondera flicked a chip at Morium's head.

"Nope." Clementia and Affectus said.

Naruto just shook his head. "So...was that the equivalent of flipping over a board game when you're losing?" he asked Morium, who just flipped him off.

Naruto suddenly went stiff as he felt one of the traps in his home going off.

'What the hell was that?' he opened up a mental link with the clone he had stationed at the apartment complex.

'Zabuza opened the door on the first floor.' the clone thought back.

'And you didn't stop him?'

'...I was...away at the time.'

'...Away? Doing what?'

'...At the store...'

'Why?'

'...You haven't lived until you've tasted the wonder that is barbeque potato chips!' the clone started to drool.

'You're a disgrace, you know that?'

'So I'm told.'

'Whatever, just deactivate the other traps and tell them what they need to know to survive.'

'Sure thing, Boss. Oh, and I wasn't getting chips at the store, I was making copies of the pictures I got...' the clone giggled perversely.

Naruto nearly smacked his forehead. 'What kind of pictures?' though he already had an idea.

'These kind.' the clone sent its creator various images of Kurohane in the shower and wrapped in a towel that was way too small.

Naruto went stiff as a board, in more ways than one, and stared off into space, trying to control his nosebleed.

The game of blackjack has started over again and everyone looked at Naruto, who had gone into some kind of waking coma, it seemed. Morium leaned over and waved his hand in front of the boy's face, but got no reaction. The demon looked around, then peeked at Naruto's cards, then looked at his own.

"Hit." Morium said, pretending that he hadn't just cheated in front of everyone.

(Naruto's Mindscape)

Kyuubi pouted as she sat on her bed. "My body is just as good, if not better, than hers." she grumbled, then rubbed her neck, fingers idly tracing the mark that now adorned it.

'What the hell is this thing?' in all of her millennia, she had never seen anything like this mark! Given it looked like a kickass tattoo, but she could tell it was much more than that.

She could feel the bond between her and Naruto strengthening by the hour, and found that her senses could reach further outside of his body than ever before. It seemed that the mark was a seal of sorts, and it was tampering with the seal that kept her within Naruto.

But the oddest thing about the mark was the fact that it was moving. It seemed that everytime she looked at it, it would never be in the exact same position. It looked like the dragon's tail was slowly curling around it's body. And the dragon itself was contorting from a serpentine "S" shape to a spiral.

'This has to be some kind of bonding seal, but it's not normal...I can feel other connections, not just Naruto's.' Kyuubi sighed. "I have a feeling things just got a whole lot more complicated."

(Uzu no Kuni)

Kushina fell to her knees and grasped her neck, hissing and growling in pain. She could feel it beneath her palm, burning into the skin on her hand, causing her to take the hand away, allowing the burn to heal almost instantly.

'What...What's happening?' the redhead struggling to regain her footing.

She idly wondered if her children were in the same predicament as she was, but stopped once three bloodcurdling screams tore through the mansion.

'It...has to be...the demon...He has found out...about our secret, and is...using it against us.' Kushina glared in the direction of Konoha. "This cannot be allowed...The demon has disgraced this clan enough just by drawing breath, and now it dares to use our own flesh and blood against us? I shall have to speak to the Hokage about remedying this situation." Kushina flashed through a set of handseals and placed her hand on the mark, sealing it again and ending the pain.

The mark stopped glowing, revealing a winged dragon curled into a complete spiral.

(?)

Noctis pounded on the door with every ounce of power left in his body, but it didn't budge. It didn't even dent. His claws had no effect on the metal, and the wall around the door was just as solid. Nightmare had, indeed, found a room that was inescapable.

_"Where the hell am I? What is this place?"_ the demon looked around the room.

It was completely barren. Nothing hanging on the walls, no furniture, nothing but solid walls. But what did he expect? Nightmare to put him in a hotel suite? He leaned against the wall next to the door and slid down until he was sitting on the cold floor.

Boredom quickly set in, but there was nothing to relieve it. There was nothing he could destroy in the room, not even carpet for him to rip up! He would sometimes sing to relieve boredom, but if no one was around to be annoyed by it, what was the point? Besides, his singing was what had gotten him his first beat-down at the hands of Nightmare.

_"...I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts..."_ Noctis started, but stopped when he noticed a small, almost microscopic, crack in the wall on the opposite side of the room.

The black knight stood up and walked over to the wall, kicking the crack to see if it would give. He grinned when more cracks spider-webbed outward from the original, and started beating on the wall again, cackling insanely when fragments started to chip off and fall.

After he felt that he had done enough damage, Noctis backed up until he hit the door, then charged the wall at full speed. Putting his remaining power and weight behind his charge, Noctis plowed through the wall like a battering ram and slid to a stop in front of, what looked like, a very large rock.

_"What the fuck?"_ Noctis looked around.

He was in a cave of some kind. It was dark, horribly humid, and the thick fog that covered the ground concealed any nasty pit that he might fall into. He could hear water, from the fog condensing on the cave ceiling, dripping down from the stalactites. The humidity was messing with his sense of smell, but he caught of whiff of something burning, but couldn't quite put his finger on what it was. He jumped back and darted behind a stalagmite when he saw the "rock" move.

Peeking out from behind his limestone cover, Noctis saw that the rock was really some kind of large reptilian. He could barely make out the sheen of its scales as condensed water vapor reflecting the dime red light coming from the veins of chakra in Noctis' armor. He could make out the creature's tail twitching every few seconds, in time with the big lizard's near inaudible snoring. He could make out the ivory horns that adorned its head like a crown, and the white teeth poking out from its jaws. Noctis realized that the burning smell was its breath, as he could see the grey smoke raising from its nostrils every time it exhaled. He could hear the clicking of its large talons on the stone floor when its legs twitched like a dreaming dog.

The identity of the creature became clear to Noctis when he saw the two massive, bat-like wings that wrapped around the beast's body like a leathery cloak. It was a dragon, and a huge one too!

_**"This...will become an invaluable weapon...Use it...Take it...Control it."**_ a sinister rasp invaded Noctis' mind.

_"Yes, Master."_ Noctis walked around to the dragon's head.

One of the dragon's large yellow eyes cracked open and looked at Noctis, who just grinned evilly behind his helm. **"Who are you, and why are you here?"** the dragon growled out, apparently not happy about being woken up.

_"I am Noctis...and I'm here...for you!"_ the demon slammed his hand into and through the dragon's skull, causing it to roar in pain and thrash around, but it was too late.

The dragon's eyes were slowly overtaken by dark tendrils and its thrashing stopped when Noctis was completely absorbed into its skull. The dragon suddenly cracked an evil reptilian grin. **"Dark Takeover, successful."**

(Kumogakure no Sato)

Kyuuzou Hoshigi sighed as he finished the document and signed it. It was done, the new peace treaty proposal between Kumo and Konoha. He only hoped that the Hokage would accept it. Cloud and Leaf had never been on very good terms with one another anyway, but after that whole deal with Hyūga, they had almost gone to war.

Though it was only the Sandaime Raikage and his council that wanted the war. The villagers and most of the shinobi just wanted to be at peace with Konoha. They knew that if it came to war, they would be the ones to suffer, not the Raikage, and not the council members.

Kumo had a history of getting the short end of the stick when it came to war. In the last two shinobi wars they had been taken out of the equation before the real battles even started, their forces having been crippled by Suna. _Suna_! The weakest of the Great Shinobi Villages! But, then again, it wasn't really Sunagakure itself that did the damage, it was just one of their shinobi: Sasori of the Red Sands. Before he had become a nuke-nin, he was their strongest warrior, even stronger than their Kazekage, seeing as how he had a previous Kazekage under his control as a puppet, and he himself was classified as Kage level.

Sasori had infiltrated Kumo while they were preparing to move out towards Konoha and complete the noose that Iwa and Kiri had already set up. He had gone straight to their shinobi graveyards and had taken their strongest ninja from them, including the Nidaime Raikage. Working with a speed that only mastery of his craft could bring, Sasori turned nearly two-hundred of Kumogakure's finest shinobi from the past into human puppets, then used them to lay waste to Kumo and its army.

In one night, one man had taken out two-thirds of the Village Hidden in the Clouds. Given, this man had over five-hundred human puppets at his beck and call, but he was still one man.

Now that Kyuuzou thought about it, why was Suna labeled the weakest of the shinobi villages? If anything, Kumo should have been. Everyone had their legendary ninja, and their S-Class warriors.

Amegakure had "Salamander" Hanzou; that freak that thought he was a God; and that girl that killed people with paper.

Takigakure had their, so-called, "Immortal", Kakuzu.

Kusagakure had the cannibalistic plant freak, Zetsu.

Sunagakure had Sasori of the Red Sands; their Sandaime Kazekage; and their insane Jinchuuriki, Gaara of the Desert, who was known only for his instability.

Iwagakure had the Hachimo Brothers; their Sandaime Tsuchikage, known as "The Fortress"; and the "Explosive Artist", Deidara.

Kirigakure had their Seven Swordsmen, most well-known were Kisame Hoshigaki and Zabuza Momochi.

And Konoha had more than everyone. Shodai Hokage with his Wood Release abilities; the Nidaime Hokage with his Water-bending; Madara Uchiha, the pioneer of the Sharingan in all of its forms; the Sannin, Orochimaru, Tsunade, and Jiraiya; the Sandaime Hokage, known as the "Professor" and the "Shinobi God"; Itachi Uchiha, the second only Uchiha prodigy and murderer of his entire clan; their Yondaime Hokage was, arguably, the most famous, and powerful, shinobi ever to walk the earth; Copy-Cat Kakashi; and their Jinchuuriki had gained a bit of notoriety for single-handedly defeating Zabuza Momochi. Hell, even Konoha's special Black Ops ANBU, who only Kyuuzou and a few other Kages know about, had gained legendary status amongst the shinobi of the world, even if no one knew who they were, and very few ever saw them and lived to tell about it. And when they did tell, they didn't live very long afterwards.

But what did Kumogakure have? Only their Sandaime Raikage was famous, but for being a tyrant rivaled only by the Sandaime Mizukage, not for being particularly powerful. Kyuuzou himself was famous for being the most cowardly person ever to attain the rank of Kage in the history of Kumo, or any other village, for that matter. Their Jinchuuriki was quite famous, but that was only because the Sandaime Raikage had foolishly babbled about her to anyone who would listen, friend or foe.

Yugito was famous for one thing: being the strongest of the three known Jinchuuriki. But now it looked like Konoha's Jinchuuriki could challenge her for that title, even if she was six years his senior.

Gaara wasn't all that powerful at all, just insane. It was his demon that was the source of his real power: intimidation. The sand control was believed to be all him, simply amplified by his demon, but the aura of death he constantly gave off what not of his doing. It wasn't widely known, but, seeing as how Kyuuzou and the Yondaime Kazekage had once been the best of friends, Kyuuzou knew that Gaara sucked at everything other than Ninjutsu, and even then he couldn't use it if it didn't involve Wind and/or Sand. The kid did almost nothing under his own power, often opting to float on his sand instead of walk, or use his Sand Body Flicker to get where he wanted to go if he was in a hurry. During a time when the Kazekage had been particularly chatty, he had recounted a time when he had seen Gaara use his sand to feed himself instead of using his own hands and arms.

The kid also didn't work for anything. It was either do what he asked/demanded, or die, simple as that. So, any time Gaara wanted training, anyone above Chūnin would be lined up around the block for an opportunity to train him, if only to give the illusion that they liked the boy.

Kyuuzou was proud to say that Yugito worked her ass off for every bit of power she had now. She refused to be pampered in any way, and attacked any of her teachers that tried to show her shortcuts in training. So far, the only thing she had done that even resembled a shortcut would be the use of Shadow Clones, and even then she'd often cause herself to pass out from the mental overload.

But, if the rumors were to be believed, Yugito's training regiment was nothing compared to Konoha's Jinchuuriki, Naruto Uzumaki.(3) Apparently, the kid was like some kind of machine, training, at times, for an entire week without stopping to rest. He trained with three-hundred of his clones at a minimum, and had been observed taking on over four-thousand of them in an all-out war. Only the Sandaime Hokage could get him to stop, and only with a direct order after he had incapacitated the boy.

Kyuuzou leaned back in his chair as he remembered why Kumo wasn't labeled at the weakest village. It was because of what they used to be. During the reigns of the Shodai and Nidaime Raikages, Kumogakure was a force to be reckoned with, second only, at the time, to Kirigakure because of their tremendous amount of Kekkei Genkai clans. Then, after Konoha had established itself as the strongest village, it was the Sandaime Raikage's turn to rule, and everything went down the shitter.

But he didn't take his village down alone, oh no, he took Kiri with him. He had, somehow, managed to convince the Sandaime Mizukage that the reason only Iwa could hold a candle to Konoha's power was because they had very few Kekkei Genkai clans. He had convinced the Mizukage that only normal shinobi could combat bloodline limits, and that fighting fire with fire wasn't going to work now. So, after "careful" consideration, the Sandaime Mizukage turned Kirigakure's system of government into a dictatorship, and had the strongest members of every bloodline limit clan brainwashed into being his slaves, and made them kill their own clans. Child prodigies for forced to kill their parents and siblings as part of the Bloodline Extermination Units. Proud clan heads were forced to kill their families; wives, children, brothers and sisters. Those that escaped extermination were hunted down like wild animals, but weren't treated with as much humanity. They were always tortured and killed by those closest to them.

Loving husbands hunted down their own wives and brutalized them until they died. Sisters were torn limb from limb by their own brothers. Aunts and Uncles smiled with sick glee as they slashed the throats of their favorite nieces and nephews and watched them choke on their own blood.

Kyuuzou had seen it before with his own eyes. Clan members, often the last of their families, came running to Kumo, having no idea about their alliance with Kiri, and begged for sanctuary. But all they got was a dark prison cell until the Extermination Units arrived to deal with them. Some survived, though, and were hidden by the citizens and shinobi of Kumo who couldn't just sit back and watch this carnage unfold around them.

Some started families, some gained new families, and yet others took up jobs as ANBU and Hunter-nin, opting to live their lives in secrecy and using their time outside of the village to find any information about other survivors.

Yugito's mother was one of those survivors. Kimiko Hoshigi, formerly of the Nijurei clan. She had never told him about her Kekkei Genkai, and he never asked, knowing that the less they spoke about it the better. Didn't mean he wasn't curious, though.

Kyuuzou looked over to the couch to the side of his desk and smiled. Yugito really did take after the demon within her in some areas. The teen was currently curled into a ball on the couch and purring in her sleep.

The Yondaime Raikage laughed. "I'll tease her with a ball of yarn later, right now I need to make some lunch...I wonder if she likes sushi?" he slapped his hand over his mouth to stifle his laughter at his unintentional joke. Sushi just happened to be his favorite food, he wasn't thinking about cats...Honestly.

(Naruto's Apartment Complex)

We find our group of oddballs lounging around on Naruto's furniture after his clone at deactivated the traps. They didn't touch anything, as per Naruto's ground rules, but they did raid his fridge, which he didn't say anything about.

Zabuza, now sporting a nice shiner, was eating a chicken sandwich, and making a big show of it to Kurohane, who turned away in disgust. She had given him a black eye when he tried to feed her a large earthworm, saying it was what birds ate.

Kurohane herself was munching contently on a salad that she had found in Naruto's fridge. Why it was there, Zabuza would be sure to pester Naruto about later.

Haku was happy with her banana split, as was Kiriko, and the two were having a competition to see who could eat the most without pausing. Too bad Kiriko didn't remember Haku's Kekkei Genkai allowed her to control Ice, then she would have known it also made brain freeze impossible.

Chigusa half-heartedly rooted for her sister, though even she knew it was futile to try to defeat the Ice Maiden in a competition where cold was the deciding factor. Chigusa sighed when Kiriko rolled off of the couch, clutching her head and moaning, then went back to her miso ramen.

They had each already picked out their rooms and were just in Naruto's because it was the largest, with him having broken down the walls to the adjacent apartments and turned the three rooms into one huge one. It was also the only one that was clean, as Naruto hadn't bothered to dust any of the others since he had killed the previous owner. Why would he? Hell, for all he knew, the owner's skeleton was still hanging in one of the closets.

After they finished their food, Zabuza, along with Chigusa and Kiriko, went out to buy some furniture for their rooms. The Sandaime said they could buy anything they wanted and just bill it to him. What they didn't know was that he was going to then bill it to Naruto, but it didn't really matter. With the amount of money the Yondaime had, combined with the money from Naruto's missions and the bounties he had collected, the boy was beyond rich.

To put it in perspective: Naruto could buy a TV twice the size of Hiashi Hyūga's prize bigscreen, swap it with said bigscreen, burn both of them, then buy Hiashi a TV that was even bigger than the first two, then buy himself one that was bigger than that, burn it, then buy the store it came from, set up a twenty-foot cinema screen in his living room, buy every movie known to man, then burn the ones he didn't want to watch. Do this about seven times over, and you'd make a small dent in Naruto's funds.

While they were away, Haku and Kurohane were left alone in Naruto's living room. An awkward silence quickly overtook the atmosphere, making the girls search the room for anything to do.

Kurohane took to staring at Haku, making the girl extremely uncomfortable. The range of emotions the summon's eye displayed were odd, to say the least. Anger, confusion, guilt, and lust flashed across Kurohane's features. The first and the last emotions worrying the younger girl quite a bit. She knew that Kurohane was stronger than she was, and if she decided to act on that anger and/or lust, there wasn't much Haku could do to stop her.

Luckily for her, Kurohane had an amazing amount of self-control. She had to in order to avoid pouncing on Naruto whenever she saw him. All she wanted was a little chat.

"...So, Haku-chan, I can call you that, right?" Haku nodded. "Good. Now, it's pretty obvious that you're interested in Naruto-kun. I want to know why."

Haku suddenly got defensive. "Why are _you_ interested in him?" she asked, hoping to turn the tables.

Kurohane had been expecting this, so she smirked. "Fine, I'll tell you. We Ravens are naturally drawn to those with dark auras. Naruto has the darkest one that I've ever seen. This also goes for many other ravens that have observed him. The main reason I was allowed to be his familiar was because, with my being Lord Garandou's youngest daughter, I won't have any other responsibilities for quite a while.

We're also extremely curious creatures. If we come across someone that has a big secret, our first instinct is to find out what it is, and if we can use it to benefit ourselves, but most of us can control this urge. Naruto has piqued my curiosity more than any man ever has. This isn't some fangirl crush or anything like that, he has garnered my undivided attention, whether he knows it or not. You see, I don't think he takes me seriously. He takes almost everything I say as a joke, or as some attempt to fluster him with an innuendo, and he responds appropriately.

I want to see the real Naruto, not the killer behind the mask. And to do that, I'll need to get him to take me seriously. I know it's going to take a LOT of work to get passed his trust issues, but I know that, in the end, it'll all be worth it." Kurohane smiled. "So, what about you?"

Haku looked down and blushed. "Um...Well I...That is..." she stammered.

Kurohane grabbed her shoulders and shook her violently. "Out with it, girl!"

"I'm into domination!" Haku blurted out, causing Kurohane to drop her.

"OH!...Well that's...interesting..." both girls sat back down.

"I don't like dominating others, I want to be dominated myself. I've always been obsessed with strong men. I don't know exactly when it started, but I think it was right after I lost my family.

It was my third day out on the street. I had just escaped from the Bloodline Extermination Units again and I was hiding out in the basement of an abandoned building. I heard the door open and I tried to hide, but it was no use, they had already seen me."

(Flashback)

"There she is!" one of the Exterminators shouted to his comrades while pointing at a pile of debris.

The shinobi instantly started to dig through the pile, trying to get at a little girl that was hiding at the bottom of it. They picked up old chairs, picture frames, anything they could lift in order to capture the girl. For most people, the most logical answer to their problem was to burn the entire pile and her along with it. But they needed her alive, for the moment, to catalog her Kekkei Genkai and see if it had manifested yet. If it hadn't, she might have a future destroying Bloodline Limits along with them, but if it had, she would have no future at all.

One of the ninja jammed his hand into the pile and there was a high-pitched yelp from within it.

"I think I got her!" the man said as he grinned in triumph, right before an ice spear found its way into his brain.

"She has the Ice Release bloodline, just like her mother! Kill her!" the captain of the Exterminators ordered.

The others stepped back and flashed through handseals.

"Fire Release: Dragon Fi-?" the Exterminator was stopped in his tracks by a chunk of ice suddenly covering his mouth. The fire in his throat had no way to escape, and so stayed within his body, cooking his organs until he finally died.

The other Exterminators suffered horrifying deaths as well, two being impaled on giant icicles that just exploded from the ground, another was crushed under a huge block of ice that fell from the ceiling, one was stapled to a wall by flying ice spears, and the captain was turned into a brittle ice statue, then toppled and shattered by a strong wind.

For a moment, all was silent, save for the erratic breathing of the little girl trapped under the pile of junk.

"It's alright, little one, the bad men are gone. You can come out now." a masculine, but gentle voice called out from the shadows.

There was a small gasp, then the rattling of various object being moved before a small hand gripped the edge of the pile. A small, dark-haired girl pulled herself out of the pile and looked around for her savior, but found no one.

"Mister? Where are you?" the girl called out, scanning the area for her new friend.

There was a good natured chuckled and a tall man, dressed in all white, stepped out of the shadows. He was at least six foot six and his skin tone very nearly matched his short, snow-colored hair. His bright blue eyes gazed at the little girl lovingly, like she was a friend that he hadn't seen in ages. His white dress shoes clicked on the stone floor as he walked towards the girl, and his white coat billowed in the cold wind that seemed to surround only him.

"What's your name, little one?" the man knelt before the girl.

"H-Haku." her voice was quiet and raspy, a side effect of not speaking to anyone in three days.

"Haku...what a beautiful name..." Haku could have sworn she saw a tear slide down his cheek as he said her name.

"Th-Thank you..." Haku coughed lightly.

"My name is Ho...Kojou, Kitomura Kojou. What say we get out of here? Are you hungry?" Kojou smiled.

Haku's stomach growled and she blushed.

Kojou laughed. "I'll take that as a yes. Come on, I know this great little place outside of Kiri." he held out his large, clawed hand.

Haku looked at it for a second, then decided that she could trust this man, and took it, allowing him to lead her up the stairs and out of the basement.

(End Flashback)

Haku sighed happily.

"He took me to this great ramen bar just over Kiri's border and we talked for hours. I had only just met him and here I was, latching onto him like he was my father. We parted ways after that. He got the owners of the ramen bar to agree to take me in, and he left, but not before he gave me this." Haku took a small pouch out of her sash and reached into it. She pulled out a small ice sculpture of a wolf. "He gave me this just before he left, telling me that, as long as I had it, he'd always be with me, and that I'd never be truly alone. It's incredible. No matter what happens to this thing, no matter how hot it gets, no matter how much it's abused, it never breaks or melts."

Kurohane wiped a tear from her eye. "That's...beautiful...Did you ever meet him again?"

Haku shook her head sadly, allowing a few tears to slip through. "No, but not from lack of trying. I tried to follow him, leaving the owners of the ramen stand and following his tracks in the snow. But I got lost in the forest."

(Flashback)

Haku tripped on a hidden tree root and fell face-first into the snow. This had happened innumerable times before in the last few hours, but now she truly contemplated not getting back up and just laying there until she was covered in snow and suffocated.

"At least then...I would be able to see mommy again. Then...I wouldn't be alone anymore." Haku began to cry.

_"You are never alone." _Kojou's voice whispered in her mind.

Haku sat up and looked around, hoping that her friend had returned, but she found nothing but more snow. She started to cry again, but stopped when she felt something cold and wet touch her cheek. Looking over, she stifled a scream as she came face-to-muzzle with a large white wolf. Even though she was still sitting, she could tell the wolf was taller than her by almost a foot.

The wolf sat on its haunches, the snow not bothering it in the least, and stared back at Haku as she stared at it.

They locked eyes and Haku muttered one word before passing out.

"Kojou?"

(End Flashback)

I woke up back in Kiri with this sculpture sitting next to me, no wolf, and no Kojou. I tried to search for him, changing my appearance to look more boyish so no one would be suspicious. I lived on the streets for two months, never stopping my search. I saw the wolf on occasion, and tried to follow it when it ran, but it was much too fast for me. So, I trained myself to get faster. It was like a game that we always played. I never did catch that wolf, but no one ever caught me either. Then, the wolf just stopped coming. Days turned into weeks, and I never saw even a sign of him.

I thought someone had killed him, and I broke down. I don't think I moved from my spot for days, and that's how Zabuza found me, just like that. That's how my obsession with strong men started. Kojou was, by far, the strongest person I've ever met. Neither Zabuza or Naruto-kun come close to the amount of power I felt from him. I had this odd feeling that he expected something of me, like he wanted me to be strong as well. It was like he flaunted his power to tell me that I could do everything that he could one day. I saw that Zabuza was powerful, and I chose to go with him in hopes of gaining power myself. But, along the way, I guess I lost sight of my own goal and cared only for Zabuza's.

I guess I felt that I had lost Kojou because I had disappointed him in some way. For that short time, he reminded me of how my father used to be; kind and caring no matter what. And I didn't want to lose him, but I did. Then I got another chance with Zabuza. I knew that his apathy was just an act, and he actually did care about me. I saw the way he looked at me when he thought I wasn't paying attention. It was that look of pride and happiness, the same look Kojou had when we first met. I didn't want to lose Zabuza as well, so I became his mindless tool. I did everything he asked me to, following orders to the letter. I saw that it pained him to think that made me that way, but as long as he wasn't disappointed in me, I didn't care." Haku finished.

Kurohane sat on the floor before Haku, legs crossed and hugging a throw pillow with wide eyes, giving the younger girl her undivided attention.

"...You know what? I have a new respect for you, Haku-chan, and I respect you enough to share Naruto-kun with you!" Kurohane pumped her first in the air.

Haku blushed and sweatdropped. "Um...thank you...Kuro-chan."

"But, that still doesn't explain why you like to be dominated." Kurohane grinned.

"Well...when we were a group, Zabuza, the Demon Brothers, the twins, and Kitoro, we were like a family. We were close enough to each other to let our secrets out, but none of us ever did...while we were sober, anyway. But when we got drunk during the numerous parties we had after a big hit, everyone would say things that would scar normal people for life. Well, Kitoro was quite the porno freak, as was Zabuza, and they'd compare their collections when they were drunk. The next morning they'd leave all their porn all over the place.

Because of my Kekkei Genkai, I could use ice to numb the pain of a hangover, so I was always up hours before anyone else. I'd clean the place up, and I'd put the porn in either Kitoro's or Zabuza's collections, depending on what I remembered of their preferences. Well, I'd often come to something that was just too..._interesting_ to pass up, and I'd look at it. Kitoro's was definitely the most _interesting_ collection, and he happened to have a BDSM fetish. I wasn't much into the sadism and masochism aspects, but the bondage and domination got me, and I developed a bit of a fetish as well. Add that to the fact that Naruto looks like he'd be into that, and your outfit...cold showers aren't working anymore!" Haku blushed madly.

Kurohane rose an eyebrow and looked down at her leather wardrobe. "My outfit turns you on?"

Haku nodded, her face getting redder and redder by the second. "I want to see Naruto-kun in something like that! Everytime I see you two together, all I can think about it a leather-clad Naruto with a whip and a ball-gag..."

Kurohane backed up a bit, hoping she was out of glomping range for Haku. "...Are you a bisexual?"

Haku laughed, despite her looking like an overripe tomato. "At least you didn't call me a lesbian."

The door flew open and a sudden gust of wind blew into the room, causing the girls to dive behind the couch, expecting an attack.

"Lesbian? I heard lesbian! Who's a lesbian?" Naruto's Darkness clone looked around frantically for the person who had said the magic word.

Kurohane and Haku peeked out from behind the couch and sighed in relief before they glared at the clone.

"There are no lesbians here!" Kurohane yelled.

The clone hung its head and sighed. "Oh well. I've sorted everything out with the ANBU, and they've decided to let you slide, since no one was hurt, and you weren't told about the traps beforehand." it referred to the ANBU that had come to investigate the explosion after Zabuza set the door trap off. "Oh, by the way, awesome ass tattoo, Kuro-chan!" the clone dismissed itself, its laughter still echoing in the room.

Kurohane exploded. "NARUTO, YOU ASSHOLE!"

XXXX

Well, how's THAT for a Hinata makeover? BTW, I made every one of those jokes up on the fly. I don't know if I was hyped-up on caffeine, or I was under the influence of something else, but I was on a fucking roll! I had to created a new folder just to put the jokes in!

And Haku's back-story has been completed, and Kojou Kitomura has been introduced. He is an important character, to look out for him in later chapters, and that ice sculpture of the wolf will also play a large role in a major event in the story.

I made this chapter so long to make up for the delay. I've been sick and my girlfriend took this story, put it on a flash drive and deleted it from my computer, in hopes of keeping me off of it and keeping me safe from germs. I don't think she's discovered the wonders of Lysol yet. But get ready for another long one. I'm going to be away from my computer for a while, and I won't be able to put in the time necessary to concentrate on the story. I'll still reply to PMs and reviews, but that's about it.

I got the idea for Pondera throwing things when he hears something about gambling from an experience I had with hypnotism. One of my friend agreed to hypno-therapy for his smoking addiction and we paid the hypnotist to put some extra stuff into his subconscious. Everytime he heard the word "Crocodile" he'd pick up the nearest object, that was within his ability to lift, and throw it. Needless to say, this forced me to put crocodiles into every sentence I said at least twice. There was one time when he actually threw a person into a pool!

Feel free to tell me if there's someone else you want me to do a back-story on and I'll see if I can work them into the story.

So far I'm doing back-stories for:

Shizaru, Mitara, Mirano, Kyuuzou, Inaro, Isaro, Chigusa, Kiriko, and a bit more on Zabuza.

(1) I don't know if I made this clear or not, but Mirano is his first name and Itora is his surname.

(2) This is a different version of blackjack that I play with my friends. A Withdraw is taking your bet out of the pot and laying your cards facedown on the table. If everyone does it, the person who won doesn't get anything. It can only be done twice per game, so you've got to pick your spots.

(3) Remember, no one outside of Konoha knows about Naruto's real surname.

Until next time, Jason Out!


	23. Under The Influence

I'm back everybody!

Sorry for the ridiculous delay, but I've been quite busy as of late. I'm planning a trip to Florida to go swimming with sharks, but I have to find someone willing to do an open water dive, and also willing to take the risk of Great Whites showing up. We're really supposed to be swimming with Blue Sharks, but Great Whites have been known to hunt in the area.

So I've been making calls, sending e-mails, even texting people, and I've only gotten a few responses. And once I mention Great Whites, they usually hang up, don't reply, or ask me just how crazy I am. I honestly don't think it's crazy at all, it's not like I'm looking for Great Whites to mess with, I'm just doing something I think will be fun. If JAWS happens to show up, so be it, we're out of the water in a few seconds. Plus, we've got our shark-repellent suits, electric rods, and, just in case, a sort of EMP bomb that sends out an electromagnetic wave that severely disorients sharks for a few minutes, but it also has a chance of sending them into a frenzy, but hey, it's some protection.

But anyway, the next chapter may take a while as well, but it shouldn't be as long as this delay, as I think I've finally made some progress with my contacts.

Anyway, here's chapter twenty-three for you all to enjoy! And yes, it is a filler of sorts, but bear with me. It WILL tie into the main story, and it's funny as hell, if I do say so myself. This isn't one of those pointless fillers the anime is riddled with.

Hope you all like it!

XXXX

(Hospital)

Naruto stifled a sudden sneeze and cocked his head to the side as he received the memories of the dismissed clone.

"Son of a bitch." he muttered, then shrugged and looked down at his cards before smirking. "King and Ace of Spades, twenty-one. I win...again." four groans and an evil chuckle later, and Naruto was once again behind a wall of chips, all the while wondering why he was starting to feel very paranoid.

(Namikaze Compound)

All was silent at the Namikaze Compound. It looked like a normal clan home, as it always did during the day. No fleeting shadows, no odd smells, no disembodied voices, just the wind whistling in between the buildings.

The main tower, or what remained of it, was still in shambles, and appeared to be in even worse condition than when Naruto and the others had left. The damage from the battle with the Corpser was absolutely immense. The supporting pillars on the first floor were all destroyed, severely weakening the structural integrity of the entire complex.

Damage from stray laser fire to the second floor had caused many of the interior walls to crumble, thus causing the entire second floor to cave in and give way to the third. The added tons of weight and the lack of the major supporting structures led to the complete collapse of the entire bottom half of the tower, which was now little more than a massive pile of shattered concrete and twisted metal.

The lasers had also ignited some curtains on the second floor, so fire damage was also abundant, adding charred wood and ash to the wreckage.

The graveyard-esc silence was broken by the heavy, rhythmic thump of boots on what remained of the hardwood floor. A figure dressed in a black hooded robe stopped in front of the huge pile of rubble and sighed.

_**"Well, the Halfling actually defeated the Corpser...Hmph, no great lose, there are more where he came from."**_ Shizaru looked around the area, making a mental damage assessment. _**"Main support pillars destroyed, main staircase destroyed, levels one through three annihilated, fire damage to ceiling on level three, most likely continuing on level four as well, laser damage on all levels, massive hole in the middle of the first floor caused by Corpser emergence, west and east walls on first floor ready to crumble, north wall non-existent.' **_the demon thought with a snort. _**"All in all; completely beyond repair. Oh well, it might be amusing to see the look on his face when he sees he'll have to rebuild all this." **_

_"What are you doing here? Who are you?" _the disembodied voice that Naruto and his group had encountered made itself known again.

Shizaru didn't even flinch at the sudden sound. _**"No one you should concern yourself with, servant. Shadow Gate, open. Ten percent."**_ he held out a hand and, with a snap of his fingers, set into motion a demonstration of why he was the strongest Darkness user ever recorded in both the human and demon world.

Outside it was high noon, the time when the sun is directly in the center of the sky, its light more blinding than at any other time in the day. But, regardless of the sun's mighty rays, the shadows were gathering an expanding, seemingly unaffected by the intense light. The shadows cast by small blades of grass in the small meadow surrounding the tower slithered out from under the plants like little black snakes, all congregating in one giant mass in the shape of a hand. The shadow of the tower itself grew several shades darker, looking like a giant rift in the ground, and began to crawl up the side of the tower along with the giant hand.

At the top of the structure the second shadow formed into a gigantic reptilian head, complete with eyes and hundreds of enormous fangs. With a terrifying roar, the shadow dragon latched its jaws over the top three floors of the tower. Great chunks of wood, steel, and concrete rained down on the surrounding area as the creature crushed the tower between its teeth like it was giant cookie, then swallowed the entire mouthful in one huge gulp.

The giant shadow hand rose high into the air, then can crashing down on the remains of the tower, smashing it into the earth. The hand closed into a fist, sharp fingers digging into the ground and scooping up the remnants of the tower in its crushing grip.

Shizaru appeared atop the head of his shadow dragon and snapped his fingers once again. A large ball of pure dark energy appeared over the stupendous crater left by the giant hand.

_**"Consuming Void."**_ Shizaru hissed in delight.

As soon as the words left the demon's mouth, every object in the vicinity began to be sucked into the black hole the ball had become. Trees, rocks, the roofs of the surrounding one-story houses, everything that couldn't withstand the intense gravitational pull was sucked in and disintegrated instantaneously. Neither Shizaru or his creations seemed to be fazed by the vacuum, just the demon's robe billowing in the strong winds.

The hand that was holding the debris of the lower part of the tower released its cargo, allowing the rubble to be sucked into the black hole. It was an amazing thing to see. Some chunks were bigger than the black hole itself, but they were still sucked into and picked apart atom by atom in the space of nanoseconds. A huge chunk of the west wall, at least fifty feet in diameter, smacked into the ball, then seemed to implode on itself and turn into dust that was quickly sucked in.

The shadow dragon tilted its head back, then let its jaws hang open over the black hole while it regurgitated the part of the tower which it had eaten, letting it fall into oblivion.

Shizaru grinned under his hood, enjoying the spectacle. This wasn't the first time he had done this, oh no, he'd done it thousands of times before in his lifetime, more times than he cared to attempt to calculate, but it was something that he never got tired of watching. He always wondered where the atoms from the objects he had thrown into the black hole went, but decided never to think about it again after the first time. He had spent at least three years wracking his brain for answers, pestering Arcarian about alternate dimensions in which the atoms could be deposited. The fallen God just muttered something about recycling and sent him on his way.

_**"Shadow Gate, close. Five percent." **_Shizaru muttered, dismissing the black hole and his shadow creatures. He briefly felt an odd tightening in his chest, like he was about to have a heart attack, but it didn't hurt. He had no way of knowing that this was what sadness felt like, not having felt such emotions in over three thousand years. _**"Pity. This was such a nice place."**_ the demon shrugged and took one last look at the destruction he had wrought before disappearing in a swirl of black dust.

(Hospital)

Team Eight, along with their sensei, walked down the stark white hallways of the hospital looking for their third teammate.

They found two nurses talking, well, more like arguing about who was going to go into one of the rooms. Kiba tried to get their attention, but was stopped by Shino, who knew he was going to say something stupid.

"Pardon the interruption, nurse-san, but could you tell us what room Hyūga Hinata is staying in?" Shino's monotonous drawl made the nurses turn to address him.

"Oh, that little Hellion?" everyone rose an eyebrow at that. Hellion? Hinata? No way in hell. "She's in room two-twenty-eight, but I advise you not to go there."

Kurenai spoke up. "What not? I have a responsibility to my student, afterall."

The other nurse snorted in a very un-lady-like fashion. "There's a demon guarding her door that won't let anyone in. Only Mirano-san and his personal staff have been able to enter. There are more of the demons all around the hospital, ten in all, and they were summoned by the other demon in room two-twenty-se-" the nurse went silent. Not having a head will do that to you.

An ANBU, that not even Kurenai had sensed, wearing a jackal mask sheathed his katana while glaring at the second nurse. "If you wish to join your friend here, by all means, pick up where she left off." the nurse spun around and fled down the hall, screaming about traitorous ANBU.

"I'm sorry about that. I'll take...you...to...What's wrong with them?" the ANBU pointed at Kiba and Shino, who were trembling in fear and shock, though you really couldn't tell with the Aburame.

Kiba's face turned a sickly green color and he raced to a trashcan at the end of the hallway, ripping off the top and releasing the contents of his stomach into it. Shino just stood there, unmoving, but his bugs were going insane, buzzing around him in a thick cloud.

The ANBU saw there reactions and nodded in understanding. "Ah, that's the first time they've seen someone die, isn't it?"

Kurenai nodded while pinching the bridge of her nose. "I knew I forgot something. I meant to have them experience death, by Genjutsu or other means, so they wouldn't freeze like this. I guess I was so wrapped up in Hinata and her family issues that it slipped my mind."

The ANBU rubbed his chin. "Well, get your students, we'll walk and talk. The Hyūga's room is on the second floor anyway."

Kurenai snapped her fingers next to Shino's head, shaking him from his stupor. "Yes, Kurenai-sensei?" the ever stoic youth tried to regain his composure, but he voice wavered a bit as he caught sight of a few specks of blood on his coat and remembered where they had come from.

"Jackal-san is going to take us to Hinata's room, so get Kiba and follow me." Shino nodded reluctantly, still wary of the ANBU that, from his point of view, killed an innocent nurse for no reason.

After ripping Kiba away from the trashcan, Shino dragged him along behind Kurenai, making sure to put a bit of distance between them and the ANBU. Kiba had left Akamaru at home, knowing his companion hated the smell of hospitals. The bestial boy wasn't all too fond of them either, but he had been in them enough times to learn to deal with it. Oh, how Kiba wished his partner in crime was here at the moment, then at least he wouldn't feel so...vulnerable.

They took an elevator to the second floor, as per the ANBU's suggestion. When he was asked by Kurenai why they hadn't taken the stairs he told her that he had seen two nurses "getting busy", as he had put it, on the stairs. Two _female_ nurses. He also said that he would show her, if she was interested, earning him a solid smack and an agitated huff from the rookie Jōnin.

'Honestly, why do people think I'm a lesbian? Is it because I turn down guys all the time...or is it because I hang out with Anko?' Kurenai figured it was a bit of both.

While in the elevator, Inaro decided to have some fun with the "Freshies", as shinobi with no kills under their belts were called.

"So, I'm guessing you kids haven't killed anyone yet, right?" Kiba jumped a bit at the sudden noise, but both he and Shino nodded. "Oh man, you don't know what you're missing! It really gets your blood pumping! I remember my first kill, this big fatass with really bad breath. Smelled like the guy ate straight from the shitter! Anyway, I walked right through his front door and caught him with his pants down, banging his wife, who didn't seem to be enjoying it at all. We just looked at each other for a few seconds, but it seemed like an eternity to me. Eventually I just said 'screw it' and jumped the fucker. I must'a stabbed him a hundred times! You should'a seen it! Blood and chunks of lard flying all over the place, the oh so glorious sound of metal piercing flesh and cleaving right through bone. Sweet Kami, I loved it!" Inaro finished his little tale with a delighted shiver and a manic grin, though they couldn't see it.

By this point both Kiba and Shino, pride be damned, were cowering behind Kurenai, who just looked at the psychotic ANBU with a twitching eye.

"...Okay...You wouldn't happen to be a friend of one, Uzumaki Naruto, would you?"

The ANBU, much to the red-eyed beauty's surprise, nodded. "It's Namikaze Naruto now, and yes, I am a friend of his." a soft ding indicated they were at there destination and the elevator doors opened, revealing another white hallway. Kiba and Shino immediately bolted out of the small, confined space and sprinted down the hallway, not know or caring if they were going in the right direction.

"Hey, wait! That's the wrong direction! Dammit!" Kurenai place on hand on her hip and used the other to pinch the bridge of her nose. A tick mark developed on her forehead when she heard the ANBU behind her snickering.

"Can't control your students, _Rookie_?"

Kurenai scoffed. "It's not them I can't control, it's their fear. No matter how macho they act on the outside, they're still scared of death, whether it be their own or of others."

"So, what you need is someone to take away that fear, and make them see the dark side of the world; the true side of the world." Kurenai nodded and Inaro grinned. "Ask Hokage-sama about having Naruto temporarily transferred to your team for a mission or two. Also, see if you can get a joint mission with Team Ten, as they also need to overcome their fears, or at the very least face them."

Kurenai thought about it. Sure, she needed her students to have a taste of what they would have to do themselves on higher-class mission, but did she really need, or want, someone as brutal as the young Namikaze? Oh yes, she had heard about what Naruto had done in Nami no Kuni, every ninja of Chūnin rank or above had. She had heard about him and Zabuza killing a total of three-hundred mercenaries on the bridge, and Naruto had killed twelve more before that while escorting the client's daughter through town. She wasn't sure if that was the kind of shinobi she wanted to give her students their first taste of death. But, she couldn't argue with the fact that Naruto had perfected the art of killing more than most others in the village, and he was the person to go to when you needed someone dead.

He was a veritable "Dictionary of Death", so to speak.

'...Maybe that's not such a bad idea.' the red-eyed Jōnin thought as she followed the jackal-masked ANBU to Hinata's room.

But, after two high-pitched screams, Kurenai found herself being used as a shield by two extremely frightened boys.

The ANBU chuckled, he'd seen countless people, doctors, nurses, and visitors alike, scared out of their minds when they saw the near seven foot tall skeletal demon standing in the hallway, staring at them with its empty eye sockets. The two pits weren't completely empty, though, containing a glowing green mist that left thin trails in the air when the creature moved. This only added to the terror the demon inspired. Even the Hokage himself was hesitant to even walk past the demon.

"Don't worry about those two, Boner gets that all the time." Inaro ducked suddenly as a fireball the size of a watermelon sailed over his head and took out a chunk of the wall behind him.

_"I heard that, Meatsack!"_ Vereor hissed, shaking his boney fist at the ANBU.

This is when Kurenai caught sight of Vereor for the first time and blanked out. She had no idea what had happened. One second she was looking at the most terrifying creature she had ever laid eyes on, and the next she was hiding behind the jackal-masked ANBU with her two students hiding behind her.

The masked ninja laughed again. "Now you see what those nurses meant? Allow me to introduce you all. This is Vereor, one of Naruto's demonic summons. Boner, this is Yūhi Kurenai, Inuzuka Kiba, and Aburame Shino." Inaro ducked under two more fireballs.

_"Can it, Fleshbag. Do you think I give a damn who they are? While your expressions of terror are simply delightful, I could care less about you humans and your names. All you need to know is that I am a being that you should fear. If you can get that through your thick human skulls, we'll be cool. Now, tell me why you're here before I incinerate you all."_ Vereor was not in a good mood. Despite their classic roles as guardians of sacred objects and doors/portals, most demons, in fact, hated guard duty.

Inaro scoffed. "Calm down, Bonejangles." he dodged another volley of burning projectiles from the demon's shoulder cannons. "They're just here to visit their teammate, the girl whose door your guarding. Just let 'em in and you can go do whatever you want...like raid the vending machines."

Vereor stopped trying to kill the annoying human and looked at the other annoying humans, then back at the annoying masked human.

_"Go right on in! Don't know if the little psycho is awake, and, quite frankly, I don't give a damn! Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got a craving for some sour cream and cheddar chips."_ the demon pounded on the door once to let the girl know someone was coming in, then bolted down the hallway towards the vending machines.

This was when Kurenai decided to ask a dumb question.

"How is he going to get anything from the machines when he has no money?"

The ANBU sighed. "He's going to do what they've all been doing since they got here: break things. He's probably just going to rip the entire thing out of the wall, break the plastic window, and eat everything in it." he turned to the people cowering behind him, causing Kurenai to let go of him. "You can go in now, and Naruto's room is the next one over. Later!" with that the shinobi disappeared in a swirl of leaves.

Kurenai straightened herself and walked towards Hinata's door, Kiba and Shino trailing behind, searching for more demons. This would probably be the one time Shino was faced with a situation where he was the most terrified person out of everyone around him.

Unknown to anyone outside of the Aburame clan, Shino's sister once played a downright evil prank on him when he was seven. It involved a skeleton "borrowed" from an academy anatomy class, some wire, and Shino's closet, which he had been scared of anyway at the time. The end result of the prank was two years of therapy and a chronic fear of skeletons and closets.

Kurenai knocked on Hinata's room door a few times, seeing if she was awake and in any condition for visitors. "Hinata? Are you awake?"

She was met with only silence and was about to turn away when a small, slightly raspy voice called out.

"Y-Yes...Kurenai-sensei."

Kurenai smiled and opened the door. "How are you feeling?"

Hinata's eye twitched a bit, but it went unnoticed. "I...I feel like I just got skewered by a giant spider demon." she didn't mean to let that slip, figuring that Naruto didn't want them to know about the battle.

Kurenai rose an eyebrow. "Come again?"

Hinata sighed. "It's...nothing, don't worry about it, I'm fine." though her thoughts were more along the lines of, 'That's what worries me, I feel better than I ever have in my life!'

Kiba tried to put up his macho attitude to cover up his fear and not look like a wimp in front of his future girlfriend. "So, what's with the skeleton outside?" he couldn't hide the tremors in his voice and his darting eyes.

Hinata cocked her head to the side. "...What skeleton?"

Kurenai narrowed her eyes at the girl. "...How long have you been in this room?"

Hinata thought for a second. "Um...Two days, according to that one-eyed doctor."

The Jōnin nodded. "Do you remember anything that happened when you first arrived here?" she had heard about Hinata insulting ten demons in a row from Anko, but figured she was exaggerating, like she often did, but the skeleton and the fear of the hospital staff was proof enough of demons.

Hinata cocked her head to the side again. "I was passed out when I was brought it here, wasn't I?"

Kurenai sighed inwardly, Hinata didn't remember a thing. Perhaps it was all for the better. If she found out that she had insulted some demons, she'd go out of her way to apologize to them. From what she had seen, Kurenai assumed that the skeletal demon was one of the most foul tempered of them and didn't like humans all too much, but he didn't seem to care about being insulted.

The black-haired beauty observed her students conversing, with Kiba trying to keep his masculinity, and Shino trying not to scream whenever the skeleton demon walked by the door with a bag of chips. The demon seemed to sense his fear and liked to toy with him, sometimes just walking by and giving him a quick glance and an eye-glow, and other times just standing in the doorway and staring at him until he broke eye contact.

Kurenai eventually closed the door, chiding herself for snickering a bit at her normally emotionless student quivering like a scared puppy. When she saw the boy relax just a little, her focus went off of him and to her team as a whole. Her first thought was pride in her team. They had only been together for a few months and they already worked with the coordination of a team that had been together for years. And, from academy reports, they never really interacted with one another. Kiba hung around Shikamaru and Chouji, while Hinata was usually "kidnapped" by Sasuke Fangirls and subjected to their endless rantings of how cool he was. And Shino just kept to himself, though there were times people thought that his isolation wasn't voluntary. But, there were times when he was seen leaning on the same tree Naruto usually lounged in during lunch, indicating that Naruto at least tolerated him. Normally Naruto would have thrown a multitude of objects at anyone that came near his tree, including instructors.

To date, the only people Naruto let near the tree, let alone touch it, was Shino, Hinata, Shikamaru, Chouji, and a student that was a year ahead of him, Rock Lee.

But Hinata, Shino, and Kiba never truly interacted, and when they did, it was usually Kiba hounding Hinata and Shino telling him to leave her alone.

'Not much has changed about that.' Kurenai smiled a bit, then frowned.

Her team may have exhibited extraordinary teamwork, they were all relatively weak when compared to some other students, like Naruto, Sasuke, and Neji Hyūga. Two were prodigies of their clans, and the other was simply a powerhouse the likes of which hadn't been seen since Orochimaru and Itachi Uchiha. Both teams were similar in ways, and yet totally different.

Team Gai had their rivalry between Neji and Lee, though it was very one-sided, with Neji not caring and seeing Lee as an inferior shinobi. And they had their fangirl, though Tenten hid her affection for Neji well, it still showed often enough for everyone to know about it. But this was where the similarities between the teams ended.

Team Seven had a near lethargic, hypocritical sensei with no sense of timing, while Team Gai had...well, they had Gai. Team Seven had their resident fangirl in Sakura Haruno, but she was pathetically weak, while Tenten was the strongest kunoichi in the academy for three years running before she graduated, undefeated. They had their stick-in-ass nobleman, but Sasuke was so angsty that just being near him made you want to find Itachi yourself and kill him just so he'd stop brooding...Or tell Itachi to finish what he started. And both teams had their powerhouse warriors, though the gap between Lee and Naruto's skill levels was massive at best.

Naruto was, basically, what made Team Seven. As much as they hated to admit it, the team followed Naruto's lead and Kakashi didn't make plans until he knew what Naruto was going to do. Kurenai was one of the few Jōnin that knew of Kakashi's past with Naruto, and it was no secret to her why they disliked each other.

Kakashi, while still guilty over the fact that his inaction almost caused the death of an innocent child, made so many excuses for himself that he actually began to believe them. He still somewhat blamed Naruto for the lose of his father figure, the Yondaime Hokage, even if the rational part of his brain knew that Naruto was absolutely blameless. He also used the excuse that the Naruto that was burned was a good kid, and didn't deserve that fate, but what he became afterwards wasn't the same child. He was absolutely convinced that the Kyuubi had something to do with the drastic changes, all but outright refusing to believe that the boy's mind was broken as a direct result of his own inaction.

So this was basically the team layout: Kakashi disliked Naruto, Sasuke hated Naruto, and Sakura was absolutely terrified of Naruto, while Naruto just hated them all. A dysfunctional team in every sense, but effective. Sakura was pretty much just there to make the team look weak. Sasuke was there to be the "strongest" of the group and would attack first while the others hung back. Kakashi just played the role of the "superhero" Jōnin coming to save the day. And Naruto was supposed to be the one that appeared to be all show and no substance until someone got their ass handed to them by the enemy, usually Sasuke, and he'd step in and cut them to pieces in seconds flat. They worked well as a team, for the most part, and didn't even realize it.

Kurenai also knew the reason for the arrangement of the teams. Her team were the trackers and scouts, Asuma's team was meant to be a recon and assassination group, but Chouji's..._size_ all but eliminated stealth, so it was mainly because of their parents. Both Gai's and Kakashi's teams were the assault teams, the other used as back-up for the team currently attacking.

'Though "demolition" would probably be a more suitable title for Kakashi's team.' Kurenai thought.

Looking at her team one last time, Kurenai knew what she had to do if she wanted to keep her team alive.

"...I'm going to go speak to Naruto about...something." the students just nodded, not really paying attention to her, though Hinata did look at her suspiciously.

Walked out of the door and closing it behind her, Kurenai leaned on the door and sighed, praying to any God that would listen that this went according to her plans. But she knew she was hoping against hope, as nothing ever went according to plan when Naruto was involved...Unless it was his plan to begin with.

Kurenai walked over to Naruto's door, staring at it for a minute, contemplating the consequences of her actions, if the boy agreed to it at all. Taking a deep breath, the Jōnin opened the door and walked in.

Naruto's head slowly turned towards the door, as did the demons, to greet the intruder.

"...You know, it's rude not to knock, Yūhi-san." Naruto looked back at his cards, not registering the woman as a threat.

Kurenai's eye twitched, she knew exactly what that gesture meant, and she didn't like it. "You know, it's rude not to show respect to those that outrank you."

Naruto simply snorted, not bothering to look at her. "You may outrank me, but I outclass you. You can _attempt_ to order me around, and I can tear you limb from limb with my bare hands. Now, I suggest you state your business here before you really annoy me."

Kurenai's teeth ground together, a sound that made Naruto smirk. 'So, the so called "Ice Queen" is just a normal woman afterall. Temperamental and easily infuriated.'

"Would it kill you to show at lease some respect?"

Naruto glanced at her. "No...but it might kill you. I respect only a few people in this world, and every one of them has earned that respect."

"And what did they do for that?" Kurenai added a hint of sarcasm, which wasn't missed by Naruto.

"Simple, they beat me." he laid his cards face-down and rose from his seat, staring right at the kunoichi before him. "That is something you could never do. Even if I stood here and gave you five free hits, you couldn't beat me. Your Genjutsu is useless against me, and your physical skills suck so much, it's not even funny. But, if you want to attempt to earn my respect, no one will stop you." the Black Soul arose from his shadow and into his outstretched hand.

The demons sitting around the table could feel the tension in the air, it was almost suffocating...

"Two-thousand ryō on Naruto." Pondera whispered, the money he had "borrowed" from a male nurse already burning a hole in his pockets.

The other demons looked at him like he was crazy.

"Do you honestly think anyone's going to take that bet?" Morium asked.

Kurenai was nearing full-blown rage mode. This _boy_ was disrespecting her and, by extension, all kunoichi! He was just another man who thought kunoichi were inferior to shinobi.

'I'll have to _educate _him, just like all the rest.'

Naruto chuckled mirthlessly. "I know what you're thinking, Kure-_chan_. I'm just some guy that believes kunoichi are weak compared to shinobi, right? Wrong. I don't give a damn who my opponent is, man or woman, they will be cut down all the same. You come in here with your high-and-mighty Jōnin attitude and you think I'm going to take that bullshit?" he stepped a bit closer to Kurenai, who took an unconscious step back. "Especially from someone that's not even on my level? Think again. Only the Hokage has the right to give me orders. I don't take that shit from Hatake, and I damn sure ain't gonna take it from you. Now, either tell me why you're in here, or turn around and leave."

Kurenai didn't answer. "Don't let the door hit your ass on the way out." Naruto sat back down.

"Yeah, no need to let the door have all the fun." Pondera wolf-whistled, drawing chuckles from the other male demons.

Kurenai pushed down her anger, for now. No need to act rashly now. 'Well see who has the last laugh on this mission.' "...I have a proposition for you."

Naruto just grunted and Morium stood from his seat. "Should I remove her?"

Thinking quickly, Kurenai added, "It involves you killing a lot of people."

Naruto's hand quickly raised, prompting Morium to sit back down.

"...I'm listening."

(One Week Later, Near The Border Of Amegakure's Territory)

Ichigo Murasaki fell to the ground again, his face smashing into the mud. But he got back up and continued running. How long had be been running? Minutes? Hours? Days? In this forest, it was impossible to tell night from day, not this deep. The thick canopy overhead blocked all light from getting through to the forest floor. It made one wonder how anything could grow here, but not Ichigo. He didn't give a damn about the plant life, only about his own life.

He kept running, ignoring the pain of sharp tree branches slicing his skin open, like hundreds of tiny clawed fingers, grasping at his flesh and clothes to slow him down. It was like the entire forest was against him...It was like the trees themselves wanted him to be devoured by that...that _thing_ that had done the same to his comrades, all eighty of them.

He was sure it was on his heels, taunting him with its proximity. Telling him that it could run him down at any time, but it wanted to enjoy his fear just a bit longer.

He could almost here it whispering in his ears. _"Yesssss...Run, little human, run from me...Fear me...Entertain me!" _it was at this time that he heard the terrifying roar of the creature, the same sound he had heard before this whole nightmare had started. It sounded like a horrifying mix of an angry snake, a growling crocodile, a wounded bull, and a creature called a "Tyrannosaurus Rex" that he had seen in a movie as a child. The movie, called "Jurassic Park", had scared the hell out of him as a child, especially the T-Rex, and its roar had stayed with him for the rest of his life, haunting his dreams.

The beast was on him now, but what was it? What was this devil that was chasing him through this seemingly endless abyss of wood and leaves? The only way to describe the monster was just that, a monster. A demon from the lowest pits of hell, come to the surface to hunt him down and drag him into the fiery depths from which it was born. It was black, black as the darkest, starless night. Its huge maw filled to the brim with large ivory fangs that gleamed in the unnatural light given off by its eyes. Its eyes, so many eyes, watching every move that its prey made, piercing into their very souls and feeding off of their sins, making their crimson glow intensify. It was like a massive lizard of some kind, with a serpentine neck; a crocodilian head; powerful hind legs; a long, spiked tail; and two tremendous wings that looked almost too big for its body, as they seemed to completely eclipse all of the moon's light when unfurled.

It was a dragon. A beast thought to exist only in legend, much like demons were once thought to be. But there it was, rampaging through the forest after its prey. Demolishing anything that got in its way. It was too big to weave through the thick trees, so it just toppled them like they were dominos, ripping them from the ground, roots and all, and sending them crashing to the ground.

Ichigo continued to run even as his body ached and his lungs and muscles screamed in protest. His heart pounded in his head, or was it just the heavy footfalls of the beast behind him? He could no longer tell. The last hour had been nothing but a blur to him. One second he was pounding some young, unwilling, virgin pussy, and the next he was witnessing his entire platoon of marauding bandits being torn apart by a demonic dragon.

When he had first laid eyes on it, he knew that it wasn't something natural, not even a summon. This _thing_ was something straight out of a nightmare, and it seemed to be hell-bent on ripping him limb from limb. Every other bandit it came across was quickly dispatched. Crushed, eaten, slashed to ribbons, or simply incinerated by the white-ish flames it spewed from its mouth. But that wasn't the case with Ichigo. The beast seemed to actively stalk him. It had had many opportunities to strike him down, but it never took them. When it had him cornered, it almost seemed to make a show of turning its attention towards another fleeing bandit, giving Ichigo ample time to "escape" its clutches once again.

But Ichigo was no fool, he knew damn well that the creature was letting him go just so it could continue hunting him. It was playing with him, like a cat with a new toy. Just like a cat won't destroy its new plaything, knowing that it would have nothing to amuse itself with later, the monster hadn't killed him yet because it had decided that he was its new source of amusement, for the time being anyway. It wanted to get all the entertainment it could out of its new toy before tearing it apart.

_"Run, little toy...Run away, let me enjoy your fear, let me enjoy the thrill of the hunt!"_

Ichigo was pretty sure he was going insane now. The voice was no longer just a figment of his imagination, he could feel his eardrums vibrate from the sound, it was real this time! Whatever the hell that thing was, it was talking to him! Either that, or Ichigo's mind and body were so far gone that they were working together to make his hallucinations reality.

_"I am not a product of your insanity, human. I am as real as the blood that covers you...and I'm going to get you!"_ the monstrous, crocodile-like head of the dragon suddenly burst through the trees to Ichigo's left with a horrible roar. Its jaws almost clamped down on Ichigo's body, but he rolled away and down a steep incline just in time.

The monster gave a frustrated growl and followed its prey down the incline, mindful of its steps, as the now uneven ground worked against something of its size.

Ichigo caught one last glimpse at the interlocking, six-inch serrated fangs that made up the dragon's teeth. Those dagger-like spikes of enamel were sharper than a blade and nearly as wide as his wrists. They were tougher than any metal he had ever encountered, and seemed impossible to break. That thing had snapped many a steel weapon like toothpicks between those mighty jaws.

The air was driven from the man's lungs as his back smashed against a tree, stopping his rolling descent about halfway down the hill. He could feel that he had broken a few ribs, and that his spine was now a bit out of alignment. Without medical treatment, even the slightest twitch could leave him paralyzed from the waist down. But he wouldn't resign himself to death just yet. No, he was better than this! No matter how intelligent this thing seemed to be, he was sure he could outsmart it, all he had to do was figure out how to get out of his current situation.

He had to fix his spine and slow this thing down at the same time, no easy feat for anyone below Kage level, let alone a man who had only been a rookie Jōnin in Amegakure before he had defected.

'Come on, think! There has to be a way to defeat this thing, or at least slow it down so I can get a good head start...I've got it!' Ichigo carefully reached into his kunai pouch on his right thigh and pulled out a small vial full of a sickly green powder. He popped the cork off and placed his thumb over the opening to keep it sealed. 'Come and get me, you ugly piece of shit!'

As if picking up on his thoughts, the creature head was suddenly just a foot away from his own. He could smell its rancid breath, the smell of burnt and decaying human flesh; something he had smelled before in his line of work, but never got used to.

Ichigo swore that the beast grinned as it cornered him, then he heard the voice again.

_"All tuckered out? Nowhere left to run? Such a pity, I was hoping that you would entertain me for at least another hour. Oh well, I'll just make sure to devour you slowly." _the creature opened its jaws wide, wide enough to swallow him whole, and its scalding hot saliva dripped from its terrifying fangs.

Ichigo smirked. "I don't think so!" taking his thumb off of the vial, he flung the contents directly into the dragon's mouth, nose, and eyes in a thick green cloud. He quickly put on the breathing mask that Ame-nin were known for and used his arms to fling the rest of his body off to the side of the tree, then started to roll downhill again.

The dragon roared in pain as the poisonous mist lodged itself into every fleshy membrane it could find. All ten pairs of eyes, the nostrils, the mouth, and even in its ears. With watering eyes adding to already blurry vision, the dragon glared in its prey's general direction and released an earth-shattering roar and a torrent of flames from its nose and mouth, effectively purging the poison. Its first thought was to immediately run down the insect that had attempted to harm it, but it knew the trees would impede its progress. So, with a low growl and a mighty flap of its huge wings, the dragon unleashed a typhoon of wind blades that toppled the rest of the forest in front of it, sending every tree crashing to the ground.

The dragon seemed to stumble a bit before roaring again and leaping from the hillside to the bottom, seeking to crush the human beneath its multi-ton body

Ichigo eventually reached the bottom of the hill and groaned when he felt a sharp pain and heard a loud crunch. Thinking he had broken his back, the man laid on the ground, staring up at the canopy above. He felt an immensely powerful wind blow over him, then noticed that the canopy seemed to be getting closer and closer to him. The trees were falling!

Without even thinking about it, the former Jōnin hopped to his feet and rolled away from the falling vegetation. Heeding the odd tingling sensation in the back of his head that signified his danger sense, Ichigo leapt like a frog into the branches of an unharmed tree. He turned to see that he had barely avoided being turned into a pancake by the dragon that was now glaring at him.

'That would have truly been a _crushing_ defeat.' he laughed at his own bad joke.(1)

Ichigo narrowed his eyes at the beast, then took a scroll out of the inside pocket of his jacket. After spitting the blood he had coughed up onto the seal and a puff of smoke, Ichigo stood there, titanium alloy spear in hand, and ready to kick some reptilian ass! He pumped chakra into his legs and rocketed off of the branch in an almost completely vertical leap.

The dragon seemed almost bored with its prey, simply watching the human descend, spear-first, aiming for its head. The man screamed as his spearhead came close to penetrating the monster's cranium...And it would have, had the dragon not opened its mouth at the last second and slammed its jaws shut on him, severing his arm and crushing his body.

The spear fell to the ground, piercing the soil with a dull _thunk_, the hand of its owner still gripping it. The dragon tossed the body halfway out of its jaws, then whipped its head to the side violently, causing the serrated teeth to bisect the body and send the lower half flying into the forest in shower of blood and entrails. Gnawing on the body to reposition it, cracks, crunches, and squishes were heard as the frail body between its fangs was battered and broken even more. It placed Ichigo's skull near the back of its jaws, then turned its head towards the treeline to the right. It seemed to give a sort of reptilian smirk before crushing the human's head like a fresh coconut.(2)

The beast tilted its head back and let what was left of its snack slid down its gullet and disappear from view. The long forked tongue cleaned any excess flesh from between its teeth lazily as it waiting for something, or someone, to come out of the treeline.

"...That...was uncalled for, Namikaze, completely uncalled for!" Kurenai came storming out of the darkness, having been hidden from Ichigo by a Genjutsu, along with her team. She would have been more intimidating if her face wasn't as green as it was.

Kiba ran into the bushes and spilled the contents of his stomach...for the seventh time that night, so by now he was just dry-heaving.

Shino looked about ready to either join Kiba or just bolt altogether.

And Hinata...looked oddly at peace with the whole event. It was like she had seen it a million times, or had done it herself...

'I knew it was a bad idea to let him train her.' Kurenai mentally grumbled when she saw the girl pick up the spear, arm and all, and seal it into a scroll without even glancing twice at the appendage.

"Whatever." Naruto's voice came from the dragon's slightly open jaws. "You asked me to come along to give these _children _their first taste of death, but you didn't specify any boundaries as to the way I dispatched the enemy, so that's on you. I know exactly why you chose me, and I know that, to some degree, you were expecting something like this, if not something even more violent, from me." the dragon's body dissolved into a fine black dust, revealing Naruto in the center of the creature. "Oh, and I beat you in Kenjutsu, Ninjutsu and Taijutsu, but I couldn't match you in Genjutsu. You're much more versatile with illusions than I am. I focus on overloading the mind and causing breakdowns, while you can do all that and so much more with your talents. So, you've beaten me in one facet, and I consent to that." the boy gave a small nod of acknowledgement.

Kurenai sighed, that was the best she was going to get from him, so she might as well accept it.

Kiba came stumbling over, using Shino as a sort of crutch because of his shaking legs.

"D-Di-Did y-you a-actually e-e-eat th-them?" the bestial boy stuttered so much that even Hinata gave him an odd look.

Naruto just belched into his hand. "'Scuse me. What were you saying?"

Kiba turned green again and ran back into the bushes.

Shino just stood there, frozen in shock. He had heard of cannibals, but to see someone _devour_ so many people...It was as unfathomable as it was sickening.

"Hey, I got you a little present, Bug Man." Naruto reached into his cloak and pulled out what looked to be a white ball, then tossed it at Shino.

The Aburame instinctively caught the object, the stared at it...while it stared right back. It was a skull...a _human_ skull. Within seconds Shino was on the ground, twitching and muttering incoherently.

Kurenai growled. "I'd appreciated it if you'd stop terrorizing my students. Our job is done here. The bandits are dead, the priestess is safely back in the temple, and I hope you've gotten your fill of carnage. It's time to head back to the hotel and rest for the night, we'll head back to Konoha in the morning."

Naruto shook his head. "It would be wise to start heading back now. Someone was watching that little scene, someone much more powerful than any of us...Kage level at the very least. We leave now, before he returns." he started to walk forward, but was hit by a sudden wave of dizziness and leaned against a tree.(3)

Hinata was instantly by his side. "Naruto-kun, are you alright?" worry was evident in her voice.

Naruto just grunted. "I'm fine...just a little off balance, that's all." he said this even though it knew an unbalanced ninja was a massive target for anyone pay attention. 'That poison must be more powerful than I thought.' he could still taste the crap in his mouth and throat, it was like he had eaten sand mixed with peanut butter.

Hinata wasn't put off by Naruto's gruff response, his sudden irritation only confirmed her suspicions; something was wrong with Naruto.

(Three Days Later)

Team Eight, their sensei and Naruto had made excellent time back to the village, encountering, surprisingly, no resistance or unexpected impediments. They now stood in front of the Sandaime Hokage, ready to give their report.

"Team Eight, along with Namikaze Naruto, has successfully completed their first C-Class mission. But, due to the presence of a Jōnin level shinobi and the bandits under his command, the mission was easily high B-class, maybe even low A-Class." Kurenai gave her report while the others tuned her out.

'Awesome! We just completed an A-Class mission! Take that, Team Seven!' Kiba smirked while taking a glance at Naruto, and jumping slightly when said boy was only a few inches from him.

Naruto leaned over. "Technically, I completed the mission. I saved the priestess, I killed the bandits. You just lost your lunch...and breakfast, dinner, brunch, midnight snack, and a fair bit of hydrochloric acid, potassium chloride, and sodium chloride." (4)and then, just as fast as he had appeared, Naruto was back on the other side of the room, acting like nothing had happened.

Shino was now officially weirded out. He had just blinked and Naruto was next to Kiba, then he blinked again and the masked Genin was back where is started. But that wasn't the weird part. What was freaky was the fact that Naruto had pinched Kurenai's ass while he was by Kiba! Shino saw his sensei flinch, but she didn't turn around, and Kiba was none the wiser. The bug user just knew Kiba was going to get blamed for that, and he knew that was the way Naruto had planned it.

Sure, Naruto was well known for his pranks, but this was just...childish in comparison with his other, better pranks.

'But, I get the feeling that this is just a sample of what's to come.'

Oh, if he only knew just how right he was.

It was about three minutes later that Kurenai's eye twitched for the umpteenth time as she heard snickering behind her back.

"What, exactly, is so funny, Kiba?" she turned to glare at the boy.

Kiba's eyes widened. "What? That was him!" he pointed at Naruto, who was just standing to the side of the door with his hands behind his back.

Everyone looked at Naruto, then at Kiba and shook their heads.

"...That's worse than blaming it on Shino." Hinata deadpanned.

Shino quirked an eyebrow. "But it was Naruto-san. I don't know why, but he seems to be finding something extremely humorous." he glanced at Naruto, whose head was down and shoulders were shaking with restrained laughter. 'Must be one of those "inside jokes".'

Everyone turned to Naruto. It wasn't often that anyone saw him laughing, and even more rare was the fact that he was trying, and failing, to hide it. His snickering continued as if he was ignoring everyone's stares.

Hinata gave an exasperated sigh. "I knew I shouldn't have believed him when he said he was fine."

Sarutobi rose an eyebrow. "Hm? What happened to him?"

Hinata looked at Kurenai, who just shrugged. "I was getting to that, but Naruto kept interrupting me with his giggling."

Naruto suddenly stopped. "It's not giggling, it's snickering...I could really go for a Snickers right now."

Everyone, even Shino, sweatdropped. Something was definitely wrong with the masked boy.

"What exactly happened to him to make him that way? I can tell that he's the real Naruto, and that he's not under some kind of mind control. So what's going on? It's almost like he's-"

"Hi." Naruto waved to the Hokage.

"...Yes, exactly..." the old man slowly reached for the ANBU button on his desk. A sober Naruto was bad enough, but what would happen when he was in a state where ANYTHING sounded like a good idea?

Naruto cocked his head to the side. "No need for ANBU, Hokage-sama." and just like that, he was back to normal.

The aged Hokage gave a sigh of relief, if was all just a joke!

"I was just greeting that flying purple ferret outside of your window...What? Okay." Naruto turned to Kiba, who was freaked out beyond all reason now. "Can I borrow your dog for a second?" he said while creating a fireball in his right hand.

Akamaru jumped out of Kiba's coat and ran out of the door that the ANBU had just opened, followed closely by Kiba himself.

"Is everything alright, Hokage-sama?"

Sarutobi never once took his eyes off of Naruto. "Please restrain Naruto here. I believe he has come under the influence of...hallucinogenic substances."

One of the ANBU started laughing. "What? This kid's high?" he looked over to Naruto, who was staring at Shino...hard.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..." neither boy said a single word, but Shino inched towards the ANBU.

Then, "...What happens when all of those bugs inside you have to take a dump? Where does it go?" Naruto asked out of the blue.

Shino's eyes widened, he had never really thought about it, but now...

"...I have to speak with my father." and then he was gone, running full speed out of the Hokage's office.

The ANBU laughed again, then walked over to Naruto and put his arm around the boy's shoulder.

"You know, I used to think you were just another bastard with a tree branch up his ass, but now I see that you know how to have a good time!"

Naruto just looked at the ANBU, then at the window where the purple ferret supposedly hovered.

"He is? Seriously?" Naruto looked back at the ANBU, then, quicker than even his trained eyes could follow, he grabbed the man's neck and applied a small amount of his human chakra into his system, then let him go.

"WHAT THE HELL, MAN?" the ANBU quickly clammed up. The voice was no longer that of a man.

"The ferret told me that you were really a woman...and that you're a lesbian...Why are you hitting on me when Kurenai's over there?" everyone facefaulted, even the other ANBU.

"Dude, you're not a dude? Dude!" one ANBU said, turning to his friend.

"Dude, I know! It's, like, totally awesome! We have a chick in the squad now!" the other ANBU said.

Kurenai, Hinata, and Sarutobi all stared on in fascination. It was like Naruto being high was affecting everyone around him. What was next? Hinata spontaneously pouncing on Naruto and raping him on a park bench in front of a bunch of seven year olds?

Said girl was currently thinking of her latest plan to catch Naruto off guard, a task given to her by Anko. She was either to get a picture of Naruto without his mask back to Anko, get the mask herself, or lure Naruto into bed with her...then take his mask and report back to Anko in the morning.

'If I can still walk by morning.' Hinata's mind wasn't in the gutter...right now, it _was_ the gutter.

But, this was the perfect time to put any one of her plans into action. With Naruto higher than a bird pumped with helium, he would probably go along with anything as long as she made it appear to be fun or funny.

"Oh, we'll have _fun_ alright! Nice, hot, dirty_ fun_." both Inner and Outer Hinata's were in agreement this time, something that had been happening a lot more ever since Naruto had started training her.

Kurenai turned to the Sandaime, still watching Naruto from the corner of her eye while the ANBU attempted to restrain him.

"So...what's the situation with the rest of Naruto's team? I understand that both Sakura and Sasuke trained themselves into the ground and were suffering from some broken bones and chakra exhaustion."

Sarutobi held in a chuckle when he saw Naruto ducking a weaving through the ANBU's clutches. He snickered when the boy use his cloak to grope the newly revealed female ANBU, who then turned on her male partners, leaving Naruto to roam freely about the office once again.

"...I'm sorry, what was your question again?" the Hokage scratched his cheek sheepishly.

Kurenai took a quick glance at Naruto, finding that he was nowhere in sight, which worried her. "Um...I asked how Naruto's teammates were...Where did he go?"

Sarutobi just pointed to the ceiling, prompting the red-eyed woman to look up. Sure enough, there was Naruto, curled into an armadillo-like ball and rolling around the ceiling.

"Sasuke and Sakura are fine, though Sasuke might not be for much longer..." Sarutobi watched Naruto roll around the ceiling fan.

"Hm? Why's that?" Kurenai rose an eyebrow.

"Something like this happened once before when someone tried to poison Naruto's food. The f..." the Hokage remembered that Hinata was in the room as well. "His _tenant_ made it so that he wasn't affected by the poison...for the most part. He just wandered around the village, looking for people to prank. That day it seemed like he only targeted major clans, and I believe he'll do the same this time. And I think Sasuke will get something a bit more _severe_, considering the relationship he has with Naruto."

There was a series of loud cracks and an odd buzzing noise that signified the destruction of the ceiling fan. Then a black ball fell to the floor with a low thump, along with several pieces from the fan blades.

"I'm okay." Naruto stood up in front of the Hokage's desk, brushing himself off and carrying on like nothing had happened.

"...That's arguable at best." Sarutobi deadpanned.

Then, quick as a flash, Naruto was standing next to Hinata, whispering in her ear.

"Hey, you wanna help me with a prank?" he snickered.

Hinata giggled. "Sure, Naruto-kun! Who's the victim?"

"Hyūga Hiashi, a real bastard. If Sasugay has a stick up his ass, this guy has the entire tree up there, leaves and all. Oh, but don't tell Hinata that I'm gonna prank her dad, she'd be furious!" then Naruto walked away, silently plotting out his prank. It had to be elaborate, with the potential to effect multiple people, but it also had to be undetectable to the Byakugan.

Hinata just stared after her crush in disbelief. Was he really so high that he didn't know he was talking to her?

"He just destroyed a ceiling fan by rolling over it...I wouldn't put anything passed him now. Hell, you could probably get him to give you his mask if you told him that it was your birthday and you wanted it as a present." Inner Hinata did make a good point, with the right wordplay, she could probably get Naruto to do anything.

"Hey, Naruto-kun." Hinata suppressed a grin as an absolutely wicked idea hit her.

Naruto turned around...about five times, before coming to face her.

"Ya?" his voice sounded odd, almost like a foreign accent.

"You know who else could really use a prank to lighten them up? Hyūga Neji and Hyūga Hanabi. My-I mean _Hinata's_ cousin and little sister. They also have trees up their asses. Hell, between the three of them, they'd put the Forest of Death to shame."

Naruto tapped his chin thoughtfully. "Ya' know? I think I'll prank them as well! Oh! I could even prank Hinata! It won't be anything really nasty, just something to give her a little scare." he missed the girl's eye twitch. "Do you know what she's afraid of? Maybe spiders? She looks like an arachnophobe."

Hinata stiffened. Ever since the onigumo had nearly killed her, she had developed a crippling fear of spiders. Though inebriated, Naruto still had his uncanny ability to "sense" the fears of others, even if he was just guessing.(5)

"N-No...Actually, I remember her saying that your mask really scared her." she tried not to giggle.

Naruto cocked his head to the side. "Really? Never woulda' thunk it...Wait...'woulda'? That's not even a word." everyone, and I mean EVERYONE sweatdropped, even the imaginary flying purple ferret!

"Oh well, time to gather supplies. Let's see...I need to pay a visit to the Inuzuka compound...The Uchiha place...The Hyūga compound to check out security...But first!...I need to leave the office!" Naruto walked forward, then turned left, then backed up and turned right. He looked back at the other occupants of the room. "Can anyone tell me where the door is?" cue mass facefault...again.

The ANBU suddenly surrounded the boy. "I'm sorry, but we have been ordered by the Hokage to restrain you, which means we can't let you leave this room."

Naruto started snickering. "You can restrain me all you want, it won't do you any good. I'm not the real Naruto."

The ANBU cursed and flung open the door, running out to ask the secretary if she had seen anyone walk out of the office.

Naruto slammed the door shut behind them and laughed. "Hey, you guys wanna know a secret? I AM the real Naruto! I can't believe they actually bought that! Idiots." he turned to walk out of the office, then stopped. "Where the hell did the door go?" cue third mass facefault.

"Screw it." Naruto created a Rasengan in his right hand and blew out a section of the wall. "Bill me!" he shouted before leaping out of the hole.

The Hokage shook his head. "Oh no, now we'll never find him." he pressed the button to call his secretary. "Mihoshi-san?"

"Yes, Hokage-sama?"

"Put out an alert to anyone above Genin rank. Naruto is intoxicated at the time and should be caught before he does any damage, physical or mental, to anyone or anything."

"It will be done."

"Thank you, Mihoshi-san." the man turned to Hinata and Kurenai. "Why are you two still standing there? Go find him!"

Hinata and Kurenai saluted the Hokage, then leapt through the hole Naruto had made.

(With Naruto)

We find our heavily intoxicated anti-hero stalking his prey through the gates of his clan home. The young man he was tracking was scared out of his mind, making a b-line towards the compound entrance.

"Mom! MOM!" Kiba screamed as he ran through the front door of his clan's compound, Akamaru hidden in his hood and acting as a second pair of eyes in the back.

Tsume Inuzuka, Kiba's mother, and Hana Inuzuka, his older sister, came from around the corner, staring at the boy like he was crazy.

"Kiba, sweetie, what's wrong?" Tsume tried to comfort her son, who was still extremely jittery.

"I-I-I-I" Kiba stuttered.

Hana smirked. "What's wrong, nii-_chan_? Cat got your tongue?"

Kiba didn't even glare at his sister, like he normally would with such a remark.

"I-It's N-N-Naruto...He's gone crazy! And I think he's after me!" Kiba opened the door a crack to look outside, then jumped back with a high-pitched yelp when a shadow passed his field of vision. "HE'S HERE!" and with that, he bolted towards his room and locked himself inside of it.

Hana and Tsume just stared in the direction that Kiba had ran, then looked at each other and shrugged.

"Hello?" a soft female voice called from the open door. A girl with sunny-blonde hair and blue eyes poked her head into the door. "Is everything okay here? I heard someone scream."

Hana just smiled. "That was just my little brother being paranoid. Who might you be?"

"I'm the new mail-ninja, just started yesterday! Name's Yomuri, Akiko Yomuri." she shook Hana and Tsume's hands.

"Nice to meet you, Yomuri-san. What happened to the old mail-ninja, Hokichou?" Tsume eyed the girl suspiciously.

The girl looked down sadly. "He...died two days ago. He had just been promoted to Active Chūnin and was on his first mission...Apparently, he had never been properly educated in how to handle traps or make them. He tried to set up a few traps around his teams camp sight, but forgot where he set the first ones, and set them off while walking back. At least, that's what we've been told. I think the traps went off by themselves because they weren't made properly, but I won't speak ill of the dead." the girl sighed.

Tsume and Hana were saddened by the news, they liked Hokichou. He was nice, polite, funny, and best of all, he didn't hit on either of them.

"Oh...Well, we'll miss him, he was a great guy." Hana said.

Akiko nodded. "I'm getting sidetracked, so here's your mail. Three for Inuzuka Tsume..."

"That would be me." the Jōnin took the envelopes.

"Five for Inuzuka Hana..."

"Those are mine." Hana took the letters, then tossed them over he shoulder into a wastebasket. "More love letters."

Akiko giggled, then pulled out one last envelope. "And one for Inuzuka Kiba."

Both Tsume and Hana looked at the girl. Kiba never got mail. The only thing it could be for a Genin like him was a letter from a secret admirer or something. And, despite what he seemed to think, he was, by no means, a ladies' man.

"Who's it from?" Tsume asked.

Akiko looked at the sender's name. "It doesn't really say...It just says, 'From a friend.' and it has a picture of a black dragon with a lot of eyes on the back of it." she showed them the drawing.

Both Hana and her mother cocked their heads to the side, then shared a look. "Maybe Kiba will know what it means?" Hana ventured.

Tsume shrugged. "It's worth a shot." she turned to Akiko. "It was very nice meeting you, Yomuri-san. See you tomorrow."

Akiko smiled, then disappeared in a swirl of leaves.

Tsume and Hana made their way to Kiba's room. They knocked on the door and waited for Kiba to answer.

"...Who is it?" a trembling voice asked from the other side of the door.

"It's your mother and sister, sweetie. Some mail just came for you, but we don't know who it's from. We thought maybe you could take a look at it and tell us." Tsume answered in her gentlest possible voice. She knew her son was absolutely terrified, and now wasn't the time for her to be her normal self.

For a full minute, there was no answer, then came the clicking of multiple locks being unlocked. Padlocks, deadbolts, even those near useless little chains that allow people just enough room to reach in and undo them.(6)

Kiba opened the door and looked at his mother and sister. "I have mail?" even he was surprised.

Both women nodded and handed him the envelope. "There's a little drawing on the back, but we don't know what it means."

Kiba turned the envelope in his hands, then his eyes widened and he tossed the envelope away while screaming like a banshee, hurting his sister's and mother's ears.

"HE'S HERE! HE'S COME TO TAKE MY SOUL, AND MY DOG!" Kiba picked up Akamaru and ran into his closet to hide.

Tsume and Hana sweatdropped severely. "What in Kami's name...?" Hana rubbed her ears.

Tsume was about to say something, but was interrupted by another girlish scream from Kiba as he broke through the door of his closet and ran passed them, still screaming at the top of his lungs.

"..." neither bestial female said anything, opting, instead, to look at the mask hanging on a hook in the closet...a hunter-style mask with three elemental kanji and the village symbol adorning it.

"Wow...the creepy kid really is after him." Hana blinked. She knew all about Naruto and his _condition_, but couldn't care less about it. The only problem she had with him was that he smelling like a fox and it drove her canine instincts crazy. Other than that, she thought he was adorable as a child, and often gave him candy in exchange for him allowing her to hug him and scream "kawaii".

Tsume sighed. "What did Kiba do now?" things like this had happened before. Kiba managed to piss Naruto off, and Naruto constantly terrorized him for weeks on end. He sometimes even went as far as to sneak into the boys room and put cats in his bed at night. "Come on, we need to find him before he runs into a trap or something."

(In Another Area Of The Compound)

Akiko silently crept along the walls of the Inuzuka compound. The Boss wanted something here, and she was going to get it for him. She had emptied her mailbag, which she had stolen from the actual new mail-nin, to make room from the items. She was actually a Darkness Clone using Naruto's first original technique, the Sexy Technique. Overall, it was useless against all but the most perverted of people, and even then it could backfire horribly.

She slipped into the shadows when two Chūnin Inuzuka walked by, chatting about how big some woman's breasts were. The clone was almost offended, but the fact that it was still, technically, Naruto, being offended wasn't on the list of things it could do.

Dashing from shadow to shadow, the clone tossed vials of perfume down different hallways to throw any dogs off of her scent. She finally found what Naruto had told her to look for; the one-story building that served as the veterinary office for the entire village. If the information she had gathered from different conversations was accurate, this was where Kiba's older sister, Hana, worked.

'Yes, this is it.' the clone thought as it slinked across the ground towards the building, moving with the speed and grace of a cat.

The clone looked around before turning her finger into a shadow and sticking it into the lock. The finger solidified, forming to the shape of the proper key, and with a twist the door was open. After a quick trap scan, the clone ducked into the building, shutting and locking the door behind her.

She found all sorts of things that could be used for Naruto's purposes. Shock collars, hypodermic needles, cat-shaped chewtoys, catnip(weed for cats), and even a UV lamp. But the Boss wanted something specific...something nasty, something disgusting...He wanted dog urine. That's right, dog piss. The clone couldn't read her creator's mind, but she could tell whatever he had in store for some unlucky bastard was going to be his most revolting prank to date.

The clone had to search for a bit, turning into a shadow and darting into a dark corner whenever she heard someone walk by the door, but eventually found what she was looking for. There, just to her left on a large shelf, were twelve bottles filled with a yellowish liquid.(7)

Akiko grimaced at having to touch the bottles. "I don't get paid enough for this." she muttered.

'Ah, quit'cher bitchin' and get back here with the goods, I ain't got all day, ya' know.' Naruto's voice came through the mental link with yet another odd accent.

'Yeah, yeah, I'm on it! Just get off my back already.'

'...How about I get on your ass then?'

Akiko's eye twitched. '...You know, technically, we're the same person.'

'What? You've never heard of a "Man to Hand relationship"? Think of it like that, but the hand, in this case you, is a clone!'

'...Seriously, what are you on?'

'Um...the ground? No, wait, I'm in a tree...How did I get up here?'

Akiko nearly facefaulted. 'Just...go away before you make me drop something!'

She could have sworn she heard Naruto huff. 'Fine, just hurry it up, my hand is starting to cramp up...'

'What does your hand have to do with...OH! You sick bastard!'

Naruto laughed, but the sound was abruptly cutoff. '...I think someone just pushed me out of the tree...No, I fell. Over and out!'

Akiko shook her head and sighed in frustration, it really did suck to be her right now.

After gathering the "supplies", Akiko started towards the door to leave, but caught sight of something white out of the corner of her eye. She turned and walked towards the shelf opposite of the one she was just at, then a wicked grin nearly split her face in half.

'Dog semen, eh? Oh, this is just too good to pass up!'

XXXX

And there it is.

This isn't the whole filler, and it will take up about half of the next chapter before it goes back to the main story. This won't be some painfully long piece of crap like the fillers I've seen in other fics, and, as I said before, will tie directly into the story.

Some people have asked me for more information about the Guardians, and it used to be here in this ending author's note, but it took up way too much space for the liking of some, including myself, and I've decided to move it exclusively to my profile page. So if anyone wants to know more about the Guardians, just visit my page and scroll to the bottom.

(1) What? He's gonna die in, like, three more paragraphs, so I'm not giving him any good jokes.

(2) Told ya', three paragraphs...okay, technically two, and he's dead...and it was still a crushing defeat, hah! It's still a bad joke, but it fits so well!

(3) Remember, they're near the border to Amegakure's territory...

(4) It's just the components of stomach acid.

(5) Remember, she doesn't really remember much about what happened, and thus doesn't remember that she was actually dead for quite some time.

(6) Seriously, I never did get the point of those chains.

(7) Which will be permanently known as Akiko, since she will appear often in the story. No "Naruko" here, it's way too obvious in my opinion.

Oh, and since I just updated this chapter on May 13th I must say this:

W00T, THE REVIEWS HAVE BROKEN INTO THE QUADRUPLE DIGITS! 1003, HELL YEAH!

Jason Out!


	24. King Of Chaos

I'm back, and I feel like a million fuckin' bucks!

I actually got to swim with sharks! It was crazy, as soon as the bait ball was dropped into the water, Blues were EVERYWHERE! I've dived with sharks before, but never outside of a cage, and never had I seen a real Feeding Frenzy! In short: it was completely fuckin' AWESOME!

And, now that that's done with, on with the story!

Enjoy!

XXXX

(With Naruto)

Naruto was having a great time, no, scratch that, he was having the time of his freakin' life!

He had found a brand new game after falling out of the tree. You see, when he fell he landed on his head, resulting in a broken neck. But, with him being a hanyou, this wasn't exactly a fatal injury. And, with him being high as a weather balloon, he didn't feel a thing. In fact, he didn't even know what had happened until some kids had walked up to him and asked if he was alright.

(Flashback)

"Hey mister, are you okay?" a young girl, looking to be around eight or nine years of age. Her hair was divided into two cone-shaped ponytails at the top of her head, and her cheeks sported what looked like permanent blush marks.

"...I don't think he's alright." a boy, the same age as the girl, with brown hair and round reading glasses wiped his running nose on his sleeve after he spoke, sniffling like he had a cold.

The last of the three children, a boy with spiky brown hair, green goggles, and a blue scarf, kicked Naruto in the side, then snorted.

"He's fine. That tree's not all that high up, so he can't be hurt from that little fall."

"I...I don't know, Konohamaru, he doesn't look so good." the boy with the eternal runny nose said, wiping his nose again.

"Yeah...Isn't his head supposed to be facing the _other_ way?" the girl gulped and got behind the two boys.

The one wearing the scarf, apparently their leader, turned to them with a smile, revealing a missing baby tooth.

"Come on, Moegi, don't tell me you're scared of some idiot that fell out of a tree! It was his fault anyway!"

The boy with the cold looked at the boy incredulously. "But you threw the rock at him that caused him to lose him balance and fall."

Konohamaru glared at the other boy. "Udon, when I want your opinion, I'll ask for it!"

"But he's right, you threw a rock at him to prove to Osaru that you had better aim than him." the girl, Moegi, pointed out.

"Oh, so that was you, eh?" the children's eyes widened and they looked at the ninja.

"Ahhh, ZOMBIE!" Konohamaru screamed, then tried to run away, but tripped over his scarf and fell to the ground.

Naruto knew something was odd the moment he got up. He could hear voices, but he couldn't see anyone.

'Wait, isn't my head supposed to be facing the other direction?' his hands went to his head and, with a series of nauseating crunches and cracks, turned his head back to its rightful position. "Ah, that's better." he looked down at the children cowering before him. "Which one of you threw the rock?" he demanded.

Konohamaru gulped, then glared defiantly at the older boy. "I did!" he stood up and puffed out his chest.

"Konohamaru, don't!" Moegi cried, knowing that the man before them was a trained shinobi, while they were only academy students.

Konohamaru held up his hand. "Don't worry about it, he can't do anything to me, I'm the Hokage's grandson!" his look turned to one of smugness and false authority. "You hear that? I'm the grandson of the most powerful ninja in the village, and my uncle's a Jōnin! You can't touch me!"

Naruto just cocked his head to the side, then flung his fist at the boy's face.

Moegi screamed, Udon nearly pissed himself, and Konohamaru didn't even know what had happened. He just closed his eyes, waiting for the impact, but it never came. He opened his eyes again to see the ninja's fist about half an inch from his nose.

Naruto, with his head still cocked, looked at the boy, waiting for him to do something.

Konohamaru growled at he figured out what was going on. It was game he had played with the girls in his class many times. The ever popular, "I'm not touching you" game. He used his hand to smack the older boy's down.

"Cut it out! OW!" when he had smacked the hand, it kept going a full three-hundred and sixty degrees, then smashed down on his head.

It was exactly what Naruto knew was going to happen. "That was your fault." he deadpanned.

Konohamaru glared fiercely, well, as fiercely as a nine year old could, at Naruto, tears in his eyes.

"What's your name?" he hissed.

Naruto cocked his head to the other side, causing an audible pop as one of his vertebrae re-aligned itself.

"Namikaze Naruto, why?"

"'Cause I wanna know who to have my grandpa arrest!" Konohamaru laughed as he thought he had won. Everyone backed down when he brought out his trump card!

Naruto just made to punch the kid again, and again stopped just short. The kid smack his hand down again, and he rotated it again, then smashed it down on the kid's head...again.

"...I seriously can't believe you fell for that twice in a row." Naruto laughed.

Konohamaru fell to the ground, clutching his head and moaning overdramatically.

"I'm gonna make sure you're put away for a long time, Naruto!" Konohamaru shouted.

"You and what army?" Naruto asked, then jerk a thumb over his shoulder, drawing attention to the fifty Darkness Clones behind him. "'Cause I've got mine with me right now."

Konohamaru looked at all of the identical shinobi and ran away, screaming at the top of his lungs. He was quickly followed by Moegi and Udon, who were also screaming.

Naruto laughed, as did the clones. Sometimes it was good to be creepy!

(End Flashback)

After that little altercation, he was confronted by some idiot wearing sunglasses and a bandana who proclaimed himself to be a Tokubetsu Jōnin. Apparently the loudmouthed kid had told someone about what he had done, and had no doubt left out the fact that he was the cause of the entire thing.

The Jōnin demanded that Naruto come with him and apologize to the "Honorable Grandson", then maybe the Hokage would go easy on his punishment. Naruto just laughed and had his clones abduct the man and dump him somewhere on the other side of the village...someplace that had a LOT of kunoichi bathing at the time...Jōnin and ANBU kunoichi.

After that little situation, Naruto had spent five minutes in the park just scaring the crap, sometimes literally, out of little kids, and even their parents on more than a few occasions.

He was well aware of the fact that this was all needlessly childish, but he needed something to keep him occupied until his clone returned with the supplies.

Naruto was hiding in a bush, just about to jump out at a little girl walking down the path with what looked to be her older sister.

"Oh, a twofer, nice." he grinned behind his mask.

"Namikaze Naruto?" he felt someone poke him on the shoulder after saying his name.

"Yes?" Naruto said, obviously annoyed. "Can't you see I'm busy here?"

The ANBU behind him simply glared at the boy. "Turn around and see if I care. I'm under strict orders from Hokage-sama himself to bring you in."

"You and what army?" Naruto said, turning around.

The ANBU smirked behind his lion mask, then pointed over his shoulder. "This one." he was referring to the thirty ANBU behind him. He then pointed behind Naruto. "And that one." Naruto turned to see about forty assorted Jōnin and Chūnin, all staring at him.

"Well...That's quite an army." Naruto chuckled, then snapped his fingers.

The shinobi surrounding the boy looked around as hundreds of different chakra signatures suddenly appeared, each one about mid-Chūnin level in strength. On the ground, in the trees, on rooftops, and even disguised as kids and parents playing in the park, were Naruto's Darkness Clones.

"Sorry, but mine is bigger..." then, quicker than any of the ninja could react, Naruto had pulled down the lead ANBU's pants. "...A lot bigger." he could almost feel the female shinobi blush. "Bye bye!" and Naruto was gone, leaving a very embarrassed and pissed off ANBU Captain, and a small army of shinobi to face off with his larger army of clones.

"You...You DAMNED BRAT!" the ANBU Captain screamed, managing to pull up his pants just before the clones dog-piled him. 'Ugh, it's gonna be one hell of a long day.'

(Dango Shop)

Anko was sitting on her reserved stool at her favorite little shop in the village, and she was happier than she had been in a long time. Her student was fine, and didn't seem to remember her own death, or the events that followed. Naruto was helping her train the girl, and had already made her much more proficient with her daggers. Anko was finally able to take it easy.

No prisoners to interrogate, no near-suicidal missions given to her by the Council, her student was finally turning into a kunoichi even Hiashi could be proud of!

'Even though he'll never be proud of her, the bastard.' Anko mentally cursed the man she had dubbed, "Cornhole Hyūga". She couldn't remember when she had come up with the name, which meant that she must have been drunk at the time, and probably said it to his face.

Anko was so absorbed in her dango and her memories she failed to notice the presence of another person behind her until he started speaking in some weird accent.

"G'day, mates! We've traveled here to the Inutori Dango Shop in Konohagakure no Sato to look for a very special creature. Oh, there she is now! Here we have the rare and endangered _sexyashellus Serpensus_, otherwise known as 'Mitarashi Anko'. She doesn't appear to know I'm here yet, so I'll try to get in a little closer."

Anko spun around on her stool, ready to deck the idiot that dared talk about her like she was part of some half-assed wildlife documentary. But she was only met with stares and grumbles about "psychotic snake-whores".

"Hey, fuck you, too, ya' old bitch!" Anko threw a dumpling at a middle-aged woman, then turned back around with another grumble.

"Whew, that was a close one, eh mates? Danger, danger, danger. She almost had me, but I outsmarted her. Now, you'll notice that she's extremely alert and tense right now, ready to attack or flee at a moment's notice. What I have to do now is show that I'm not a threat, that I'm just here to observe and document, nothing more. I'll have to ask the camera crew to back off, as this one's gonna take a fair bit of stealth on my part." the voice was back.

Anko's eye twitched when she heard the shuffling multiple pairs a feet, then whirled around again.

"I've got you this...time...What the hell?" Anko growled. There wasn't anyone there, again. She turned back to her food again, only to see that her dango supply had been replenished. She squealed happily and dug in.

"There we go, that was a peace offering, to show her that I mean no harm whatsoever. As you can see, she's pretty content with her meal, and I think she'll let me get a bit closer. Boy, I'd be lyin' if I told you I wasn't shakin' like a leaf right now. I'm almost close enough to reach out and touch her, but I won't. And not only because she'd probably take my hand off. I said I was only here to observe and document, and that's what I'm going to do." Anko heard more shuffling, but paid no attention to it.

"You see that? She's completely at ease, now, with my presence. She knows I'm here, she just doesn't care anymore. Now, I told you all that the _sexyashellus Serpensus_ was endangered, and that was an understatement. She's the last of her kind; until she mates and produces offspring, that is. Now, she may not be the only _sexyashellus_ in the area, but she is one of only two _Serpensus_ specimens left in the world. There is another _Serpensus_ out there, but it's the polar opposite of this beauty here. It's called the _creepypedophilius Serpensus_, but is more commonly referred to as 'Orochimaru'. I tell ya' what, that's one beast not even I'd muck with."

Anko tense as whoever the hell was behind her mentioned the name of her former, and much hated, sensei.

The person seemed to notice this as well. "There, did ya' see that? She's suddenly very tense again. I think it was the mention of the other _Serpensus_ that's got her all riled up now. Now, that's my fault, so I think it's time for another peace offering to make up for that. I just have to draw her attention away from me for a bit..."

Anko's head snapped up as she felt someone pinch her ass. With a roar of feminine fury, the snake mistress spun around and took out one of her special kunai, preparing to cut the idiot to ribbons. But, once again, all she saw was empty space.

"Dammit!" she hissed and turned back around. Her anger was once again forgotten when she saw she had three times as much dango as before.

"I didn't want to do that, but it was the only thing I knew would distract her long enough for me to sneak some more food in there. Wow, just look at her, mates, she's beautiful. I consider it an honor, a privilege, to be in the presence of such a majestic creature. I'm, literally, just feet from her, and she could take my head off right now if she wanted to, but she doesn't. She's not the monster people portray her to be, and can be fairly docile under the right circumstances. She's not wildly attacking me, she's not even trying to get away, she's just completely ignoring me. She's only violent when provoked, like any creature in this world, even me."

Anko hissed a bit when she heard the voice again.

"Whoa! Did ya' hear that? You're alright, girl, you're alright. She's getting angry now, so it's time that we leave her alone and let her get back to her meal in peace."

Without looking, Anko flung a kunai behind her with a casual flick of her wrist. There was a loud cracking noise and some weird buzzing, then the sound of a person cursing.

"Crikey, she just destroyed one of the cameras! You alright there? You're good? Alright, I think it's time to go. Well, mates, today's been a very special day, indeed. We've learned a bit about one of the rarest creatures in the world, and we've had some very close calls. But we've gotten out unharmed and undeterred, not something many people can say. I even got to feed her, how's that for an experience? We've got more adventures comin' up, so, until next time, folks!"

Anko heard the shuffling of feet again, then complete silence. She took a quick glance over her shoulder to make sure they were gone, then turned back to her food, only to find it, once again, replenished. But there was a note next to her plate, which she picked up and read. Her eyes widened and the note slipped from her limp fingers, fluttering to the ground. It read, "Put it on my tab - Naruto" with a little chibi drawing of Naruto throwing up a peace sign.

Anko quickly wolfed down her dango, then tossed the note to the clerk and disappeared in a swirl of leaves.

'Something's wrong...Naruto would sooner castrate himself than draw a chibi picture of himself.' the snake mistress thought as she appeared in front of the Hokage Tower.

(With Naruto)

Naruto cursed again as he saw more ANBU dash passed his hiding place. He'd been hiding the shadows of a dark alleyway ever since he and his clones messed with Anko.

'These fuckers are everywhere!' Naruto thought as he saw two Jōnin appear on the roof of a building across from his hiding spot. He cursed again when he saw one was a Hyūga, and could possibly see him if he decided to take interest in the shadows. He wasn't using the Shadow Walk, as he knew that in his current state, he'd be likely to send himself somewhere he really didn't want to be. So he just had his cloak around him, suppressing his chakra signature and blocking the effects of the Byakugan. But, because he had so much chakra, it was impossible for him to mask it entirely. An experience Hyūga could still find him, but it might take them a while to realize they were looking at a person and not a cat or something.

The Hyūga seemed to stare intently in his direction, then turned his head to his partner, giving Naruto time to use the Body Flicker to get away. Both Jōnin cursed when they felt the brief chakra spike, knowing that they had let the target escape.

(Naruto's Apartment Complex)

Kiriko, Chigusa, Haku, and Kurohane were just returning to the complex after their "Girl's Day Out", chatting up a storm about some clothes they had seen in a shop window. They were all in casual civilian clothes, since they were on a one month probation period in which they couldn't take missions.

"How about that red silk nightgown? I'd look good in that, right?" Chigusa asked her friends.

"Chi-chan, ANY female would look good in that!" Kiriko assured her sister.

"You know where it would look really good?" Kurohane asked, causing the others to look at her. "On Naruto-kun's bedroom floor." she said with a devious grin.

Haku's nose started to bleed, but she quickly covered it. Chigusa began to sputter out nonsense will blushing a fine shade of crimson, and Kiriko looked like she was going to pass out at any moment.

"What about my bedroom floor?" a voice asked from behind them.

The girls instantly regained their composure. "Oh, Naruto-kun! We were just talking about you!" Haku smiled cheerfully.

"More like fantasizing. Ow!" Kurohane rubbed her side after a hard elbow from Haku.

When they got a good look at him, they instantly knew something was wrong. Everything about his demeanor was wrong. He normally had such a commanding presence that he could cause an entire roomful of people to stop what they were doing and listen to him when he walked in. He moved with an inhuman air of dignity and grace, even for a shinobi, and was always ready to strike, or counter an attack from any direction. But now he seemed to be completely relaxed, mellow, even.

He moved almost like a civilian in his posture, and even seemed to be a bit uncoordinated at the moment.

"...Naruto-kun? What's wrong?" Kurohane asked.

Naruto looked around before looked back at her. "Hm? Something's wrong? Nothing's wrong. Not with me. Nope, I'm fine, never been better. How are you? Anything happen lately? Rent any good movies? Had any good fucks? Had a few orgasms? Get chased by flying purple ferrets?" all of this was said in the same breath, and nearly too fast to comprehend.

"...All I got was 'orgasms' and 'ferrets' out of that." Kurohane scratched her head.

"I heard something about movies." Chigusa said, also scratching her head in confusion.

"I heard 'bondage is fun'..." Haku poked her fingers together like a certain Hyūga used to do.

Every looked at the ice maiden.

"I didn't say anything about bondage...but I do agree with you." Naruto said, cocking his head to the side.

Grins formed on the faces of the other girls, it was blackmail time!

Haku thought quickly and came up with something that was undeniably stupid, but just might work.

"Umm...The flying purple ferret said it?" she ventured.

"AH-HA! I knew I wasn't crazy, you see him, too!"

(Team Ten's Training Ground)

All of Team Ten were in an embarrassing predicament at the time. They didn't even realize what was going on until it was too late and they were caught.

Asuma was currently hanging upside down from a high tree branch, covered in honey and feathers, and trying to swat away the bees that were attacking him.

Ino was the victim of an elaborate trap that had launched kunai at her from all directions. She had thought she was going to die on the spot, but it seems the kunai were set on such a trajectory that they only cut off her clothes and didn't harm her...ALL of her clothes, even the bandages.

Chouji had gotten off light, depending on your point of view, when compared with Ino and Asuma. The trap he had fallen into was one that he had activated himself without knowing. He'd just been walking along when he'd felt an odd breeze, one that was blowing against the one that was coming from behind him. But he didn't pay any attention to it, though it did make his head itch slightly. He had then come across a rope, attached to a stake driven deep into the ground, that led up into the trees where a twitching potato sack was hanging. The "big boned" boy could hear faint screams coming from the bag, and decided to cut it down. He cut the rope with a kunai, then stood under the bag to catch it when it came down. He'd caught it alright, and out popped the head of a beautiful young woman in her late teens. The girl turned her head to thank her savior, only to see the person who had put her in the tree in the first place smiling at her, and wearing her panties on his head.

The shriek of "PERVERT!" could be heard all the way in Wave Country.

Shikamaru had, in his opinion, gotten the worst out of them all. He'd been playing a game of Shogi with Asuma when a mysterious wind blew through the training ground. He didn't think anything of it until Asuma was ripped from the game and dragged up to the highest branch of the tallest tree in the area. The lazy genius had still had his fingers on the piece he was going to move during his turn when he saw his sensei get covered in honey and have feathers rain down on him. Shikamaru had felt a sharp pain in his fingers when he looked down and saw that every Shogi piece, even the ones that had been taken, had turned into small black and white crabs that were currently marching towards him like some kind of crustacean infantry unit.

And that was the scene anyone would walk in on right now. Ino sitting behind a bush trying to cover her private areas; Chouji being beaten to within an inch of his life while groaning that he was innocent and had been framed; Asuma up in a tree looking like a chicken that thought it was part bat, and was in serious need of an exterminator, or an Aburame; and Shikamaru, with a sharp stick, trying, unsuccessfully, to fend off the horde of "Ninja Crabs" that were slowly making their way up the tree he had climbed into.

(Back With Naruto)

"So that's what you've been doing all day; playing pranks?" Kurohane asked incredulously.

Naruto nodded while rubbing his hands together and chuckling darkly. "Yes, and they've been damned good pranks, too! I even got that asshole, Hatake, again!"

(Flashback)

Kakashi was just walking home, groceries under his arm and porn in his hand, as usual, just minding his own business. But, he felt something was off and looked away from his porn. He felt a mysterious breeze, but paid it no mind and went back to this literature, only to find a small communicator taped to the page with a note that read, "Put it on."

Thinking there would be no harm in it, Kakashi did as the note instructed.

"Hello?" he asked, but only received static. This went on for five minutes straight before the Jōnin became to grow tired of the device and was about to take it off.

"Hatake..." a rasping whisper crackled over the static.

"...Yes?" Kakashi was hesitant to answer.

"Guess what..." the voice started to chuckle evilly.

"...What?" Kakashi was about two seconds away from tearing the device from his ears and stomping on it.

"I'm in your house...STEALIN' YOUR PORN!" the voice cackled before dying as the device on the other end was turned off.

Kakashi's eyes widened as his groceries fell from his arms and landed with assorted splats and crunches. He growled and crushed the communicator in his fist before disappearing in a swirl of leaves.

He was so wrapped up in his conversation that he didn't notice one of Naruto's clones sitting on a rooftop across from him.

'Boss, he's heading home to save his porn, so you gotta work fast.' the clone thought to its creator.

'I know, I know! Just a few more...Got it! Okay, I've got all the rare and autographed ones, so I'm gonna burn the rest...Now we got us a bonfire! Where're the marshmallows?'

'Boss! Get outta there, now! He's at the front door!'

'Yeah, yeah, just shut-up already!'

The clone heard an explosion and saw pink smoke rising out of the windows and door of the Copy-Nin's apartment, which had been blown out by the blast.

'Pink paint bomb?' the clone asked.

'New prototype, this was the first field test. What do ya' think?'

'Hmmm...Nice amount of damage to the surrounding area, though non-lethal...Pink smoke is a nice touch, blinds the victim and attracts people from all around to add to embarrassment...I'm guessing that it's really a fine pink powder that's going to drop eventually and cover everything in the area in a thick layer of pink dust?'

'Yep, I think it's my best prank bomb yet!' Naruto replied cheerfully.

'Hell, add a higher grade explosive, and maybe some poison or acid powder, and you've got yourself a tool of mass death and destruction!' the clone said, its cheeriness equal to its creator's.

'Way ahead of you there, I've already got a test model ready at the workshop.'

'Acid or poison?'

'Highly corrosive venom straight from the glands of an onigumo, the best of both worlds.'

'You've outdone yourself, Boss.'

'Don't I always?'

'So, what should I do now? I've still got a lot of chakra to burn.' the clone said.

'Hmm...I've got it! This is gonna be my best prank ever! Here's what I want you to do. Find every building in the village that has ceiling fans, and map them out for me.'

'Ooh, whatcha got planned, Boss?'

'Oh, I can't tell ya' that, not yet anyway. Just make me the map and get back to me when you're done. And be quick about it, those ANBU are still on my ass and it's only a matter of time before everyone figures out who's behind all of this. I want to pull this off while the areas are still populated. You know that they close up shop whenever I'm on one of my "Prank Sprees". We've got to work quickly and quietly, there's no room for error here. I've already got one clone at the Inuzuka place, and I've got another raiding the hardware store down the block. Just remember, all I want you to do is find the places with ceiling fans, map them out, and give me the number of fans each place has. Is that clear?'

'Crystal.' and with that, the clone disappeared.

(End Flashback)

This was a day that would forever live in infamy. The day that Kakashi Hatake, son of the legendary "White Fang", and man of a thousand techniques, cried. No, he didn't just cry, he actually _bawled_. He wept even as Gai showed up and attempted to take his mind off the his destroyed porno with various ridiculous challenges. He wept when Anko tried to comfort him by pressing his face in between her breasts. He wailed like a little baby wanting its bottle when he saw that the adult store he always got his porn at was sold out of Icha Icha. He even cried when Jiraiya himself gave him a brotherly hug and tried to console him with the fact that he'd be the first to get an autographed copy of the next volume.

"WHY?" Kakashi's anguished scream tore through the relative silence of the village for the fifth time in that hour.

Naruto cringed a bit. The sight of such a powerful man curling into the fetal position and crying his eye out, while hilarious on many levels, was still quite unsettling.

"Dammit, who the hell is that?" Kurohane's eye twitched.

"...That would be Hatake Kakashi."

The Raven summon blinked. "The guy who holds the Dog contract? I thought he was supposed to be a Jōnin?"

"Yes, but he has a debilitating weakness for pornography...and I just burned his entire collection, blew up his apartment, and turned everything within a three block radius neon pink, including him." Naruto scratched the back of his head sheepishly.

Everyone recoiled. Naruto NEVER did ANYTHING sheepishly!

"Who are you, and what have you done to Naruto-kun?" Haku nearly roared.

Naruto held his hands up defensively. "Relax, damn! I'm me...at least I was the last time I checked...I don't know what I am now...Maybe I'm a raccoon? Oh, or a crocodile! Ooh, I know! I'm a bull!"

It was at this time Zabuza walked out to see what all the commotion was about.

"Hey, what the hell are you people do-!" he then became the unfortunate victim of a vicious charging battering-ram headbutt from Naruto, which sent him flying back through the door he had come out of and through two of the interior walls, finally stopping in an old storage room that had long been hidden from everyone.

The girls just looked at the destruction, then back at Naruto, who was staring at them while kicking up dust, getting ready to charge again. At some point in time he had styled his hair into two horns just above his forehead. How they survived contact with Zabuza, no one will ever know.

"...Red..." Naruto snorted like the bull he was imitating, then charged.

The girls looked at each other briefly, then saw that Chigusa was wearing a red t-shirt she had found in one of Naruto's drawers.

"Oops?" Chigusa shrugged, then they all turned and ran, Naruto charging after them like a pissed off...bull.

Once they were gone, the real Naruto stepped out from his hiding place. With them gone, and Zabuza out cold for at least another four hours, Naruto had free reign of every bit of space the apartment complex had to offer, and was planning to use it.

Akiko, Naruto's female clone, dropped down from a tree branch in front of him, causing him to yelp and jump into her arms.

"..." Akiko's eye twitched violently.

"...Um...Zoiks?" Naruto snickered before being dumped, unceremoniously, on his ass.

He stood and dusted himself off. "Please, step into my office." Naruto walked into the apartment, Akiko following.

When they got to his room she sat her bag down on one of the recliners and sat on the couch, using the coffee table as a footstool.

"You got the stuff?" Naruto asked.

Akiko nodded with a grin. "I got that, and more!" she grabbed the bag and pulled out the twelve bottles of dog urine.

Naruto giggled like a madman. "Damn, girl, I'd hug you if that wasn't weird!"

Akiko sweatdropped. 'And flirting with me, then jumping into my arms is considered normal?' she thought.

'I heard that.' Naruto pouted behind his mask, but she couldn't see it.

"Anyway...I also picked these up before I left." Akiko's grin widened as she pulled out multiple test tubes filled with a viscous white fluid.

"...Is that...what I think it is?" Naruto's eyes began to sparkle.

The female clone nodded. "Oh yeah, canine semen. I think it's pretty fresh, too."

Naruto cocked his head to the side, then scooted his recliner away from his clone. "How do you know that? Did you taste it?" his answer came in the form of a growl and a flying test tube, which he caught and cradled gently. "Don't do that! Do you have any idea of the prank-value this has?"

"Obviously I do, otherwise I wouldn't have touched that shit!" Akiko screamed, near the point of tearing her hair out. "Look, I got the piss, and I picked up some bonus items, so I think I deserve to know what the hell's going on here!"

Naruto nodded, then leaned back in his recliner. "Wait for about another five minutes, when the last clone returns with the map, then we will begin the next phase of the plan."

"Phase? What phase? What was phase one?"

"Phase One: Set locations. Phase Two: Gather resources. Phase Three: Construction. Phase Four: Set up. Phase Five: Wait for appropriate amount of victims. Phase Six: Execute. Phase Seven: Document." Naruto listed the phases in order.

Akiko nodded. She should have known not to question the Boss when it came to pranks. He was the Prince, after all.

"Yes, and soon I will be the King...The King of Chaos!" there was a sudden flash of lightning and the roar of thunder as the room grew dark and Naruto began to cackle madly.

Akiko just looked around, puzzled as to where the sudden change in the weather had come from.

Naruto finally calmed down and the weather returned to normal instantly.

"...What the hell?" Akiko scratched her head.

"I know, that was weird, huh?"

After four more minutes of waiting, their was a knock on the window.

"It's open." Naruto said.

The window slid open and Naruto's final clone jumped through, closing it behind him and drawing the blinds.

"I've got 'em all. There are one-hundred and forty-seven places in this village with ceiling fans. And the grand total comes to five-hundred and eight ceiling fans." Naruto and Akiko's eyes widened. "Now then, why do you even need this information...and is that dog piss?"

Naruto nodded. "Okay. Damn, damn again, I need it for my best prank yet, and that is dog piss."

The clone looked at the bottles and test tubes, then shrugged. "Awesome, I'm in. So, what're we doin'?"

"Well, first..." Naruto summoned fifty more clones. "Since there are a lot more fans than I thought, we're gonna need more manpower. I'm splitting you up into two divisions. Akiko, you'll be handling operation 'Council Bribe'. I've got a shitload of jelly-filled doughnuts and other pastries back there. Take the jelly out and...well, I'm sure you know what to do." Akiko grinned in response and took twenty-five clones into the secret room hidden behind the closet, also bringing the test tubes with her.

Naruto turned to the other clone. "You...What do you want to be called?"

The clone thought for a second. "How about N2? Ya' know, for 'Naruto 2'?"

Naruto shrugged. "Fine. N2...You take your team and go into the other room. I need you to make some rigs that can be attached to five-bladed ceiling fans and will hold the bottles of piss, then release the caps when I give the signal. This has to go off without a hitch, so make sure you do everything perfectly. The rigs, the mechanisms, everything."

N2 nodded. "Consider it done, Boss. But, if you don't mind my asking, what are you gonna do?"

Naruto walked towards the door. "I'm going to keep anyone from coming here and interrupting your work."

"Ah, so you're going to lead all those ninjas on a wild goose chase all over the village?"

"Yep, I might even swing around to the Forest of Death for a bit. That should be entertaining. Just keep working. If anyone does happen to come here, the traps can all be activated with that switch on the inside of the closet. Same with the Genjutsu that covers the door to the secret room."

The clone nodded and saluted his creator. "Your orders will be followed to the letter, sir! I'll make sure of it!" then he disappeared around the corner.

Naruto went outside and took a big whiff of the air. "Hmm...the closest ones are those two Jōnin I saw earlier...I also sense Anko-chan coming this way, along with Kurenai-san and Hinata-chan. This is gonna be fun!" and with that he bolting off towards the incoming shinobi, intent on causing one hell of a distraction.

(Five Hours Later)

Naruto dashed into the apartment complex and silently closed the door behind him. He chanced a peek out of the peephole in the door and ducked down when he saw three shadows fly by before disappearing into the night.

He sighed in relief when the chakra signatures of the ANBU had faded into the distance, showing that they were still chasing the clone.

During his little run, Naruto had made no less than a hundred clones and had them scatter themselves all around the village, leading every shinobi and kunoichi that saw them into various traps set up in the most unexpected of places.

Konoha was considered a "danger zone" as of now, since even leaning on a light pole could be hazardous to one's wellbeing. And standing in the same place for any extended period of time was also ill-advised.

During that time, he had also found the time to prank the entire Hyūga clan in one fell swoop. Today just happened to be laundry day, so all of the Hyūga's _white _clothes were being cleaned. Well, Naruto stumbled upon an unguarded laundry room with thirty massive washing machines, all filled with Hyūga wears. This gave Naruto one hell of an idea.

Sending two clones out to raid all the nearby clothes stores of all their lingerie, which he paid for, of course. After the clones had brought it back to him, he'd dumped one or two articles of flashy and lacey undergarments into each machine, along with much more than the recommended amount of bleach. Then, as icing on the cake, he took the remaining red, black, blue, and purple nighties, panties, and bras, then stuffed them into Hinata's underwear drawer.

He had also found something..._interesting_ while rummaging through her drawers to make room for the new stuff. Reaching into the bottom of her sock drawer, which he didn't understand the point of, since she didn't wear socks, his hand came into contact with something hard. He grabbed it and pulled it out.

(Flashback)

Naruto stared at the strange object in his hands, confused as to what it was and its function. It was shaped sort of like a vegetable, a cucumber to be precise, and seemed to be made out of a weird purple plastic/rubber hybrid material with a green metal base.

"What the hell is this thing?" he scratched his head.

His head was suddenly filled with the roaring laughter of Kyuubi and Nightmare.

'What's so funny in there?' he asked his tenants.

**"N-N-Nothing, N-Naruto-kun...I-It's just a-an...**_**inside**_** joke!"** Kyuubi could no longer form clear words over her laughter.

_"Y-Yeah...Nothing f-f-for you to concern y-yourself with!"_ Nightmare keeled over, causing Kyuubi to laugh even harder.

Naruto just shook his head and inspected the strange device. He found a small red button on the bottom of the weird thing and decided to press it. The object suddenly buzzed to life in his hands and vibrated violently, causing him to drop it in surprise.

The thing flopped and bounced around on the floor, seemingly following Naruto's movements as he tried to avoid it.

"What the hell? It's trying to attack me!" he jumped up and clung to the ceiling.

The device shifted directions and went under Hinata's bed, then suddenly went quiet.

Naruto, thinking the danger had passed, quietly landed on the floor and finished putting the undergarments away. He then turned to the bed and, against his better judgment, which really didn't exist at the time, checked under it.

At first he didn't see anything, just a low buzzing noise, like the device was dying or something. The noise grew steadily louder with each passing moment. Naruto was about to stand up when the purple thing suddenly shot out from under the bed, missing his face by mere centimeters, and lodging itself inside the wall, where it finally died as the impact jarred the batteries from their place.

Kyuubi and Nightmare's laughter reached its peak, neither having believed what they had just seen.

Naruto just stared at the device for a bit, then nudged it with his foot. This slipped the batteries back in place and caused the thing to spring to life again. Naruto gave a frightened yelp and dove out of the window before the enraged machine could take its revenge on him.

(End Flashback)

Naruto walked up to his room and used the identifying knock on the secret entrance, noting that the Genjutsu had been activated.

The door opened and Akiko poked her head out. "Everything's ready here, Boss. We're all set to go!" she held two baskets full of assorted pastries with notes attached to them reading, "We really appreciate your efforts to get rid of the Demon Brat for us, and we, the humble villagers of Konohagakure, would like to thank you with this small offering. We hope you enjoy them!"

This note was written so that anyone on the Council that was on Naruto's side wouldn't even touch them, and the ones that hated him would gobble them down like the pigs that they were. It was all perfect. At the bottom of the baskets were assorted photos of disguised clones doing horrible things to the doughnuts. Some even stuck their penises into the pastries, using them to jack off until they came inside, then sealed them back up with glaze, which was actually dog semen combined with sugar.

It was sick, it was disturbing, it was disgusting, it was mentally scarring...and it was going to fucking rock if they could pull it off!

N2 also came over. "We're done here, too. We've got the rigs all set up, now all we need at the fans to attach them to."

Naruto nodded, then created another hundred clones.

"Alright, I've got some tasks for each of you, so listen up! I want you all to take these rigs and put them on every ceiling fan in every location on these maps, which are being passed out now. Akiko, I want you to drop the pastries off, and distracted the guards long enough for your team to set up the cameras to catch everything. I want everyone to set up cameras in their locations as well. I want every possible angle for these pranks! This is easily the biggest prank I've ever done, even moreso than painting the Hokage Monument in broad daylight, and I want you all to know that I couldn't have done it without you!" the clones cheered. "You've got your orders. Since I've been on a Prank Spree, most places have closed up shop, and will reopen after I've "calmed down". Use this time to places the rigs and the cameras, then get out before they open back up. But leave one clone behind at each location, just incase the other cameras fail, so he can catch it on his own mini-cam. MOVE OUT!"

"Sir, yes sir!" the clones chorused, then each took a few rigs and some cameras, then disappeared. Akiko and her group of twenty-five now female clones also disappeared with the pastries and some cameras.

N2 and his group took the remaining rigs and cameras, then disappeared to set up the traps.

Naruto grinned wickedly behind his mask. It was all going perfectly! Nothing could ruin this now, nothing could stop his ultimate prank from coming to fruition!

(One Hour Later: Council Chamber)

This was an unexpected treat! It seemed as though the Council was finally getting the recognition it deserved from the good citizens of Konoha! Their extreme opposition to the demon boy hadn't gone unnoticed by the villagers, and they, apparently, wanted them to keep trying and keep up the good work!

"Mmm, these look delicious!" one of the civilian Council members sniffed the basket. "And they're fresh too!" he took one out and passed the basket down the line.

One basket was going to the shinobi Council, and the other to the civilian Council, though each were filled with the same kinds of pastries.

"Ah, glazed jelly doughnuts, my favorite!" Inoichi, head of the Yamanaka clan, drooled as to took one of the sweet rings.

The basket was passed to Tsume Inuzuka, who could tell something was off about them from the moment she sniffed them, but didn't think anything of it.

'What the hell? Did they have sex on top of them, or something?' the bestial woman thought. She was in quite a foul mood at the moment. Someone that broken into their veterinary clinic and stolen, of all things, twelve bottles of dog urine and all of the stockpiled semen for breeding. Sure they could always get more, but she was more pissed off about the fact that someone had, apparently, gotten passed every one of their security measures.

Shibi Aburame also passed, his insects sensing the same thing as Tsume's nose.

Shikaku Nara just waved off the basket when it was presented to him, saying that he didn't like sweets that much. In the next few minutes he would thank every God he knew of for not giving him a sweet tooth.

Hikari Haruno, head of the civilian Haruno clan, took a non-glazed doughnut and sighed. 'This is going straight to by hips.'

No one found it weird that it was only the ones that hated Naruto who were taking pastries...all but one, Danzo. He'd avoided poisoning for all these years by NOT accepting mysterious gifts from people, so he naturally passed on the pastries.

Chouza Akimichi wanted a doughnut, oh sweet Kami, he wanted one bad. But, he just happened to be sick today, and knew that sugar was the last thing he needed right now, lest he spend the rest of the day and night punishing the toilet.

Hiashi Hyūga just glared at the Council member that dared offer him sweets. Sure, he may have wanted one, but he had a reputation to uphold! Besides, no one made better pastries that his daughter, Hinata. A skill that she must have picked up from her mother.

The last one to accept a pastry were the Sandaime Hokage's old teammates, and founders of the "Anti-Demon Club", Himura Mitokado and Koharu Utatane.

(With The Clones)

Naruto's clones had just finished placing the rigs and setting up the cameras. They had to work with near inhuman speed to meet their deadline, but they finally did it, and couldn't be more proud of themselves.

'One-twenty-two, in position at Taichi's Ramen.'

'One-nineteen, in position at Houshou's Bar & Grill.'

'Ninety-seven, in position at that karaoke place that the Boss hates.'

'Two-hundred and six, in position at Ekyo's Dango.'

'One-thirteen at the Yamanaka Flower Shop.'

The clones all gave their locations, cameras at the ready, waiting for the signal from Naruto.

'Um...Anyone know what the signal is?' one of the clones asked over the mental link they all shared.

'Don't worry about that. When the Boss gives the signal, believe me, we'll all know.' N2 reassured them.

There was a sudden explosion just outside of the village walls to the west.

'That's the signal. Operation Chaos is a go!'

(Houshou's Bar & Grill)

"So, Kai, what'll it be today? The usual?" the bartender asked.

"Yeah." the shinobi answered.

The bar was filled with shinobi of all ranks, from teenage Genin, to Jōnin pushing their sixties. Not a single one of them realized the trap until it was too late. The rigs were made to fit over the blades of the fans without drawing attention to them, and also hiding their "cargo". Each rig had five small canisters of dog urine slipped into a small holding clamp with caps on them. The caps were sitting on small silent-charges of low-grade explosive that were on delayed timers, hooked into every canister on the rig. When the timer went off, the charges would activate, popping off the caps without harming the canisters, and allowing their contents to be unleashed.

The timer would activate when the fans reached a certain speed, about ten revolutions per second, thus allowing for maximum coverage of the area. The timers were also hooked into the fan's electrical system, meaning that the timer would stop if the fans were cut off. Overly elaborate, maybe. Efficient, definitely.

The clone, under the guise of a middle-aged man, smirked as he lifted his glass to his lips, then turned on his mini-cam with a flick of his finger, pretending to scratch an itch.

One moment the bar was relatively peaceful. The normal pit of testosterone and alcohol that would require constant ANBU guards, if not for the sensibility of most shinobi to quit before they were well and truly hammered.

And the next moment the entire bar erupted in complete havoc! The only warning was a series of low, almost inaudible, pops, then piss began to rain from the ceiling!

"Oh Kami!" one ninja shouted as he tried to for the door, but was blocked by thirty other people with the same idea.

"My eyes!" another bar patron screamed as he fell to the floor clutching his face. "Oh Kami, I can taste it!" he slapped his hands over his mouth. "It burns!" he scrunched his eyes shut.

The screams of the bar patrons was soon accompanied by hundreds of identical screams from all around the village. Any place that had a ceiling fan had its inhabitants fall victim to the Golden Shower from Hell.

But no, it didn't end there. You see, to get even more amusement out of the prank, N2 had combined the urine with a chemical that duplicated the smell of a female in heat. He had also took it upon himself to send some clones into the Inuzuka compound and steal some dogs, leading them to the doors of all of Naruto's more hated locations within the village. Places run by demon haters and people that called Anko things like "Snake-whore". The three main victims were Taichi's Ramen, the only place in the village that competed with Naruto's old favorite, Ichiraku's, and even had the nerve to advertise that they were "Demon Free".

Another target was Eyko's Dango, whose owners and cooks repeatedly tried to poison Anko, and outright refused to serve her when she demanded to watch the cook make her food.

And the final target was a place neither ninja liked at all; this weird little karaoke bar that doubled as some kind of poetry corner. People would sing songs they loved, terribly, and whoever could get the most words to rhyme with "Snake bitch" or "Demon brat" would usually win the contests held on Fridays. And, what do ya' know, it just happened to be Friday today!

(Karaoke Bar)

A Chūnin had just got up on stage just before the "rain", and had begun to read his "poem".

"This one is called 'The Snake and the Fox'." cheers erupted from the crowd. It was his fifth time with the same poem, but what could be said? It was a crowd pleaser, that was apparent.

"A slimy serpent, and a filthy beast...the abominations of this village that are liked the least...The whore associates with the demon...and she also chokes on semen...The Fourth gave his life to seal him...but we can all still feel him...He's still here, and he walks among us...but now he's just not humongous...That bastard killed my sister...and the harlot lets me fist her...They think they can't be stopped, but I know that ain't true...someday we will rise up, and backpay will be due!" the shinobi prepared to start on the second verse, but got a mouthful of piss when he opened went to speak.

The inhabitants of the bar, ninja and civilian alike, screamed their lungs out. No one was spared. No amount of hiding would help, and the torrents couldn't be stopped if they couldn't be found. Everyone was afraid to look up, so no one bothered to take down the fans.

Loud barking was suddenly heard near the entrance, causing everyone to look towards it. They all backpeddled furiously when they saw dogs of all shapes and sizes start pouring into the bar and "attacking" anything they saw.

Well...It wasn't so much "attacking" as it was raping. The dogs mounted everyone, their lust-clouded minds too overloaded to worry about gender, and effectively dry-raped everyone that crossed their paths.

Shinobi and civilians were attempted to crawl away unnoticed, and some just threw caution to the wind and ran for it. But none made it. All were mounted again, or for the first time, as soon as they moved. And playing dead didn't work either, as no one could fool the dog's noses.

"Back, you mongrel, back!" a lone Jōnin screamed, brandishing a wooden stool and swinging it wildly. So far, he was the only one not covered in dog sperm, and he intended to keep it that way. But the dogs had other ideas. He was currently backed into a corner with ten dogs staring him down and salivating excessively.

"You'll never get me, you filthy animals! I'll make sure every last one of ya' is put down!" the Jōnin snarled.

He rose an eyebrow when the dogs stopped advancing on him and took to staring at something above his head. He made the mistake of looking up, only for a small lapdog to fall on his face and begin the process of violating his right nostril.

The Jōnin screamed to the heavens as he fell and was instantly dog-piled by the...dogs.

This was the same outcome all three locations experienced. And, strangely enough, it always came down to one Jōnin verses no less than ten dogs. To any who survived, this would forever be a night that would be burned into their minds for the rest of these lives. Something that no amount of therapy could do away with. Something engraved so deeply into their memories that not even a memory wipe would take it away. Some even committed suicide after this experience, as it was just too much for them to handle. Such is the power of humiliation.

(Council Chambers: Same Time)

The pastries were delicious! Whoever had made them really knew their way around a kitchen, that much was certain.

"Mmm, these are great!" one civilian member sighed in bliss.

"Have you tried the glazed ones yet?" another civilian asked.

"MINE!" Inoichi snatched another glazed doughnut from the basket, then sucked the cream filling out of it. "Oh, sweet Kami, these are the best doughnuts I've ever had! I love this new filling, very rich and thick, like syrup!"

Danzo scowled as he looked at his fellow Council members stuff their faces. He'd expected this from the Akimichi, but not from the others, he'd thought they would have a bit more dignity than that.

'But, then again, these are the fools that think a little boy is the reincarnation of the most powerful demon ever to exist...Speaking of him, it's time I sent someone to...extend an invitation to him. I think Sai will do nicely, since they have similar personalities.' the old warhawk grinned as he stood from his seat and left the chamber. 'Soon, Kyuubi, your power will be mine to do with as I please. If I control the prison, I control the prisoner.'

Only a few noticed the old man leave, namely Tsume, Hiashi, Shikaku, Chouza, and Shibi noticed his departure. And all five of them thought it a bit odd. But one thing Danzo wasn't known for was predictability. He had already shown that he didn't give a damn about what anyone thought, especially the Hokage, and followed his own agenda. What that agenda was, no one knew.

After all of the pastries were gone, the Council members socialized with each other. Shikaku comforted his friend, Chouza, while Inoichi taunted the man playfully. Tsume talked with her canine companion, Kuromaru. Hiashi wanted to leave, like Danzo had, but couldn't bring himself to do it. It was like, on some subconscious level, he knew something was about to happen, and he wanted to see it.

One curious civilian decided to look at the bottom of the baskets, to see if there were any pastries left, but only found upside-down pieces of paper.

"Hey, what are these?" he asked himself out loud.

Some of the other members walked over to see what he was talking about.

"They look like photographs." Hikari Haruno said, picking on up and turning it around. She immediately regretted it.

It was a photo of a man with a black cloth bag covering his head. That wasn't the bad part, it was what he was going that was horrible, or, more specifically, what he was doing it to. He, apparently, had his penis inside of one of the pastries.

It then became apparent that the "cream filling" wasn't cream at all!

The pink-haired banshee showed off her impressive set of lungs as she screamed and tossed the picture into the air. This drew the other Council members near, and they also picked up some photos.

Soon the majority of the Council was running around like decapitated chickens. Scrambling for exits, bathrooms, sinks, even drinking fountains to wash their mouths out. Some were still in the corner spewing the contents of their stomachs all across the floor, and some even slipped on the vomit while running, causing them to slide into the paths of other members.

It was a scene of absolute chaos...and hilarity. Tsume was on the ground, clutching her sides and pointing at people while she laughed. Chouza was pounding on his section of the table while trying to keep breathing. Shikaku was snapping pictures in rapid succession, also laughing to the point where he couldn't even keep the camera straight. Even the ever stoic Hiashi was literally rolling with laughter, as was Shibi.

This was the funniest damned thing they had ever seen in their lives! And they all had a feeling of who they could thank for it.

'Damn! Naruto's outdone himself this time!' Tsume tried to stand up, only to see Inoichi slip on some vomit on his way out of the restroom and fall on his ass, then throw up himself, covering his face with his own bile. The Inuzuka matriarch fell to the ground once again, this was just too damned funny!

No one could deny it. The greatest prank ever in Konoha's history was the desecration of the Hokage Monument by one, Naruto Uzumaki. Not only had he painted all four faces with incredible detail, he had done it in broad daylight with Chūnin and ANBU patrollers everywhere! And, once he was found out, he was already done and was actually waiting for someone to find him. What followed was the greatest chase the ANBU squadrons had ever participated in.

It seemed as though Naruto knew it couldn't outrun the high-level ninjas, but he wasn't going to make capturing him easy for them, not at all. Half of the ANBU force was literally reduced to tears by the end of the day, and Naruto was never captured. It was also rumored that this event marked the retirement of Kakashi Hatake from the position of ANBU Captain. And, no matter how much he denied it, anyone that was observant enough knew that the rumor was true. All it took was the mere mention of chasing after Naruto to cause the cycloptic Jōnin to quiver in fear and make up any excuse to not be apart of the pursuit.

As chaos continued to reign supreme within the village of Konohagakure, one thing was glaringly clear to everyone at that moment. That was that "Naruto Uzumaki: Prince of Pranks" was no more. He had upgraded to "Naruto Namikaze: King of Chaos". A being of legend, whispered about and idolized by the youths, but feared and hated amongst the adult population.

(Atop The Hokage Monument)

Naruto stood on top of the Sandaime's stone head and watched the events unfold from the eyes of his clones.

"Ah, it's good to be back." he sighed. He hadn't gotten off a good prank ever since he had messed with the emo and the banshee! And he hadn't done something monumental for years, so something truly large-scale was long overdue.

'Boss?' N2 and Akiko's voices called over the mental link.

'Yes?' Naruto asked, barely able to contain his excitement.

'Missions accomplished!' the clones cheered.

Naruto pumped his fist in the air and shouted for all to hear.

"Listen up, Konoha! I am Namikaze Naruto, and I AM THE KING!" he cackled as clouds suddenly overtook the moon and lightning bolts danced across the sky while thunder rattled the entire village.

Naruto stopped cackling and looked up at the sky, seeing that the clouds had retreated. "How the hell do I keep doing that?" he scratched his head.

(Hokage's Office)

Sarutobi grumbled as more and more complaints kept popping up. He knew what was going on, and he knew damned wall who was behind it all. But, for the life of him, he couldn't figure out how the boy had concocted a prank this elaborate while he was high! His thought process should have been something akin to a goldfish, and with half the attention span!

He read the reports on what happened with the ceiling fans, then looked up at his newly installed one with suspicion.

"Would he...Nah, he wouldn't dare...Wait, this is Naruto I'm taking about! He'd do it just to prove that he could prank the strongest ninja in the village!" he jumped out of his seat and onto the ceiling, then tore the fan from its foundation and smashed it on the floor.

"That takes care of that." the aged man summoned ten Shadow Clones. "You two, take care of this mess. The rest of you know what to do."

"Vanquish the evil that is paperwork, sir!" the clones chorused, immediately getting to work.

Sarutobi smirked. 'Oh yes, it's good to be the boss!'

(Two Hours Later: Naruto's Apartment)

It was over. The pranks had gone off without a hitch, and the clones had brought the video evidence back to their creator so they could be used for both entertainment and blackmail in the future.

He could sense that Zabuza, Kurohane, Chigusa, Kiriko, and Seizonsha were already asleep, and that Seizonsha was in his room on one of the pillows. He walked in, prompting the Biosuit to change to "sleeping" mode, then laid down, careful not to disturb the kit.

Naruto smirked before going to sleep. 'Consequences be damned, today was totally worth it!'

(The Next Day)

Naruto awoke in and extremely foul mood. The poison, having been purged from his system during his slumber, had left him with a hangover from the Eighth Circle and shoddy memories of what he had done. He knew that he had pulled off the biggest prank of his "career", and took pride in that. But he couldn't remember what he had done, so the satisfaction was dulled somewhat. After some much-needed sustenance in the form of Chigusa and Haku's(Haku didn't actually do anything, she was just in the kitchen at the time) marvelous cooking, Naruto regained his memories, and couldn't be prouder of himself and his clones. He would be summoning Akiko and N2 again, that was for sure.

But, his good mood didn't last long, however, as he was called to meet with the Hokage. Now normally this wouldn't be so bad, but Naruto knew it was serious when the Hokage himself showed up on his doorstep looking none too happy.

"Naruto-kun...Care to explain yourself?"

Naruto cocked his head to the side. "...The ferret made me do it." he deadpanned.

The Hokage facefaulted, but regained his composure in a matter of nanoseconds. "I'm sure he did." he dusted himself off. "Walk with me." though it sounded like a request, Naruto knew it was an order, and complied without question.

For the next few minutes Naruto and the Sandaime talked about the mission that had started this entire fiasco, and the pranks themselves. Naruto was almost giddy when even the Hokage complimented him on his skill...but, since he was himself, he settled for patting himself on the back.

Both of them laughed when they saw a Jōnin running down the street screaming while being chased by a large dog, who was dragging his master, also screaming, behind him.

"Naruto-kun, I feel sorry for you." the Hokage wiped a tear from his eye.

"Why's that?" Naruto suppressed more laughter.

"When the Council finds out it was you, there's gonna be hell to pay."

"I believe you have to deal with that." Naruto said.

Sarutobi hung his head. "Don't rub it in. But seriously, Tsume's going to kick your ass when she finds out that you not only stole bodily fluid samples, but took the dogs themselves, and used them for a prank that she, herself, could have very well be caught up in."

Naruto waved the man off. "Don't worry about her. I knew her nose would keep her out of harm's way. She's one of the few Council members I can stand, so I won't send her over to the Demon Hater's side by doing something stupid."

Sarutobi chuckled. "Do you ever worry about anything?"

"...Define 'worry'." was Naruto's response.

Another chuckle. "Same old Naruto." the Sandaime looked around, then leaned in to whisper, "Nice pranks, though. I heard that even Hiashi and Shibi laughed their asses off!" the old man snickered. 'Ah, I love moments like these. Makes me feel like I'm thirty again.'

Naruto shook his head and chuckled as well. "Same old Ojii-san." now that brought back memories. Naruto hadn't called the Hokage that in nearly seven years.

The duo soon arrived at the Hokage Tower, drawing looks of awe and disbelief the entire way. No one could believe that their Hokage was hanging out with the demon brat! Sure, they had seen it before in earlier years, but now that the demon had shown its true colors, in their eyes, they were certain the Sandaime was sever all ties to the beast.

Both shinobi disregarded the civilians and carried on. Let them sit and rot knowing that their Hokage liked the "demon" better than he liked them. Let them conspire to overthrow him. They wouldn't be the first, and they'd be "taken care of" just like all that came before them.

"Hmm...Well, that is a problem. But I think you should talk to Hiashi himself before you talk to Hinata-chan. I mean, wouldn't you rather get his stance on the problem now, or wait for him to find out on his own and come after you like he just caught you screwing his daughter?"

Naruto sweatdropped at the analogy. "As...terrifying as that may be, I think his reaction to this news will even worse...Like I had violated his wife's corpse, or something."

The Hokage shuddered at both the thought of..._fooling around_ with a corpse and the thought of just how mad the head of the Hyūga clan would be.

"Now you're just procrastinating." Sarutobi walked up to the door to his office.

"Hokage-sama, you have a visitor waiting for you in your office." one of the ANBU guards said.

The Sandaime raised an eyebrow. "Well, he must be quite..._influential_ for you to just let him in like that."

"Her, Hokage-sama. And yes, she was very...persuasive." the other ANBU quivered a bit, which didn't go unnoticed by Naruto and Sarutobi.

'To garner that kind of reaction from ANBU, it could only be Tsunade. I wonder what she wants.'

The Hokage nodded and opened the door, Naruto following behind after nodded to the ANBU, who returned the gesture.

Sarutobi was met with the sight of the last person he wanted in Konoha at the time, and only one thought ran through his mind.

'Oh...Shit.'

"Hello, Sarutobi-kun, it's nice finally see you again! I wish it had been under better circumstances, but there is an urgent matter I must speak to you about." the woman, who was sitting in the Hokage's chair and reading some files, greeted the old man, not yet seeing the person that he had brought with him.

"It's good to see you as well...Kushina."

XXXX

CLIFFY!

What you've witnessed here today was a work of art. Something that I hope to pull off, though to a much smaller scale, someday. The ceiling fan bit was just something I thought up on the fly, and hot damn, it worked like a charm! And the dog semen pastries is an idea I got from a little movie called National Lampoon's Van Wilder. I hope you all enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed typing it up!

You also saw a little tribute to Steve Irwin, possibly the greatest human being I've ever met, and probably ever will meet. R.I.P. Steve, the world misses you greatly.

I've also introduced the Konohamaru Corps. and the two head Darkness Clones, Akiko and N2!

About the little poem in this chapter, it was meant to be horrible, to show just how much people hate Naruto and Anko. To think that that monstrosity was good...ugh. Just like Orochimaru's attempt at beating Jiraiya in the porno game with his pedophile handbook. It was meant to show just how deranged he is.

I was quite tired when I finished this, so I didn't bother to proofread it, for the most part. So, if you all can tell me about any mistakes you find in this chapter, that'd be great. Thanks in advance, people!

I told some of you that I had a surprise in store for this chapter, and it's in the very last line...

Now, review and tell me just how evil I am!

And, just to let you know right now, the next chapter will have so much ass-kickery, you'll think you just watched the DVD boxsets of Rambo; Walker, Texas Ranger; The Terminator; and every Jet Li movie ever made! That, I can promise you all.

Jason Out!


	25. Clash Of The Uzumaki!

I'm back!

Sorry for the delay, but I've had some things to deal with at work, I've been sick this past weekend, and I've been working on a side-project with another author.

I'd also like to thank ValkyrieX for single-handedly freeing me from my intentional errors that I've sprinkled throughout the story. They're errors put into the story by authors to see if people are truly into their stories. If you're truly immersed into the world we've created, you'll pick these errors out easily, and hopefully report them to us so we can get rid of them. Again, thank you to ValkyrieX and everyone else who reported finding them to me!

Not much else to say, so on with chapter twenty-five!

XXXX

Behind the Hokage, Naruto's eyes narrowed. 'That name...I know that name.' he couldn't put his finger on it, but he knew that name, and he also held an extreme dislike for it. He leaned to the side to look around the Sandaime, but the man moved to block him. He leaned to the other side, but the Hokage blocked him again. Whoever the man was talking to, he didn't want Naruto to see her.

'Now why would that be?' Naruto thought.

Getting tired of the weird game, Naruto used his Wind alignment to gather pockets of air under his feet, allowing him to float up to three feet above the ground for a short amount of time.

Sarutobi mentally cursed, he didn't know Naruto could do that! Well, the cat was out of the bag now. All he could do was hope they didn't realize who the other was...and pray that the tower wouldn't suffer too much damage if they did.

Naruto floated back to the ground and walked around the side of the Hokage to stare at the woman that was sitting in his seat.

Kushina rose an eyebrow, then narrowed her eyes at the new shinobi, apparently a Hunter, who had accompanied the Hokage. She saw nothing odd about him. Average height, athletic build, dark clothing befitting of an assassin, standard Hunter mask...and a cloak that seemed to have a mind of its own.

'Wait a minute...Sentient cloak?' Kushina had just read a particular file that mentioned such a cloak. She picked it up and looked back and forth from the file to the shinobi in front of her.

Naruto continued to stare at the red-haired woman. Who the hell was she? And why did he have to constantly stop his own arm from drawing the Black Soul? It was like his body remembered something that his mind didn't. He searched his memories for any information at all that would lead to the identity of this kunoichi. He remembered reading about someone that matched her description...someone that he hated more than anyone in this world, except maybe Orochimaru.

'Long red hair...' Naruto went through the mental checklist.

'Sentient cloak...' Kushina also went through a mental checklist.

'Cerulean eyes...'

'Hunter-style mask...'

'Slightly pale skin...'

'Elemental kanji; Darkness, Fire and Wind...'

'Hails from Uzu no Kuni...' Naruto spied her forehead protector, which hung from her neck.

'Symbol of Konohagakure carved between the eye slits of the mask...'

'Near Kage-level chakra capacity...' Naruto was releasing a bit of killing intent now, his grip tightening on the Black Soul.

'Chakra capacity nearly off the charts...' Kushina also released some killing intent, trying to discretely give herself a deep papercut so she could unseal her weapon.

'Sealing tattoo on left wrist...' Naruto could smell the blood, and it was slowly driving him into a frenzy.

'Unruly sun-kissed blonde hair...' Kushina could see the faint purple glow given off by the shinobi's eyes behind his mask.

'Round locket around neck...' Naruto began to growl as he continued to ooze more killing intent.

'Carries an odachi with a black blade...' Kushina release more of her own intent to match his.

'Uzumaki...Kushina.' Naruto's killing intent peaked and his eyes glowed crimson with unholy rage.

'Namikaze...Naruto.' Kushina's killing intent also peaked as she read the boy's name from the file. 'How dare he take my husband's name?'

**"Mother..."** Naruto's voice became demonic.

"Demon..." Kushina snarled.

Sarutobi was finding it hard not to pass out from the killing intent flying around. He was sure every ninja in the village could feel it, and even civilians were having heart attacks at that very moment. It wouldn't be long before an army of ninjas surrounded the tower. He had heard two thumps outside of his door when the killing intent really began to rise, and guessed that the two ANBU guards had either passed out or died.

'I...I have to stop this...Before it gets truly out of hand!' the Hokage stood up, having been sent to his knees by the dual killing intent.

"Please...Kushina, Naruto-kun, don't do this, not here, not now. There are other ways to resolve this!"

"The only way to 'resolve' this is by destroying this piece of trash right here, right now!" Kushina screamed, bringing her bleeding thumb to the sealing tattoo.

**"My thoughts exactly!"** Naruto launched himself at the woman, roaring like the demon he held within him.

Kushina couldn't even get her thumb up to her wrist before Naruto tackled her and smashed her through the Hokage's oak desk, scattering papers all over the place.

Sarutobi considered stopping them, but quickly realized that doing so may not be the best course of action. There was a reason Minato had chosen Kushina as his one and only, and it wasn't for her looks, though she was undeniably hot. She was THE strongest ninja in Whirlpool, and acted as the leader of their ninja village, though she didn't claim the title of Kage. Sarutobi had no doubt that, at his old age, she could easily match him. And Naruto, in his enraged state, was far too unpredictable to tangle with. Sarutobi still wasn't sure about just what Naruto was capable of if he went all out, and he honestly hoped to never find out firsthand.

But now his nightmare was coming to pass. Naruto was pissed off beyond all reason, and so was Kushina. There was only one possible way this would end: death.

Naruto straddled Kushina's chest and raised his fist into the air, intent on slamming it through her frail human skull. He brought his fist down with every ounce of strength he had, but Kushina used the arm that wasn't being held down to push his arm off course, causing it to smash into the floor. The tremor created from the punch was just as massive as the crater it left, which nearly took up the entire floor of the office.

Naruto growled and attempted to free his hand, but was kicked off by Kushina.

The woman jumped to her feet and went to wipe some blood on the sealing tattoo, but Naruto was on her again before she could do anything. She rolled to the side to avoid a claw swipe that left four deep gashes in the floor and walls, showing that he was also using chakra to increase not only the power of his attacks, but the range as well.

The redhead jumped onto the ceiling to avoid another swipe, then pushed off, flipped in midair, and smashed her heel into Naruto's masked face, sending him to the floor, then through it from the incredible force of the blow. Kushina followed the Genin and continued to pummel him. Punches and kicks, roundhouses and right hooks, axe kicks and uppercuts, the kunoichi unleashed most of her arsenal of street fighting maneuvers on the demon. She wanted to humiliate the beast before killing it. She wanted it to know that it wasn't defeated by Taijutsu, just tactics one would see in a common bar fight.

She went for one more axe kick to finish Naruto off, but he suddenly sprang to life and caught her foot. He pulled her forward and headbutted her multiple times. The horrible sounds of flesh and bone meeting the material of the mask were almost deafening. The crunches and cracks of Kushina's face literally caved in and her body twitched violently as blood and shards of bone flew everywhere.

Naruto gave a mighty roar before delivering one last headbutt, which ripped Kushina's head right from her shoulders. Kushina then blew up with the force of several exploding tags, sending Naruto through the wall and into the village. This fight was now public.

While Naruto was flying through the air, still reeling from the explosion, something suddenly cast a shadow over his face. He didn't have time to contemplate what it was before Kushina performed a picture-perfect, Tsunade-style Heel Drop from a hundred feet in the air. Both ninjas came down like meteors right onto a vegetable stand. Kushina rolled to the side as a wooden spike, the size of a man's arm, erupted from Naruto's chest and nearly impaled her as well.

"Got you, demon scum." Kushina smirked.

Naruto's head whipped to the side and he glared at her. **"The only thing you're getting is a slow death, bitch!"** he grabbed the wooden spike, snapped it like it was a twig, then chucked it at a shocked Kushina, impaling her left leg just above the knee.

Kushina yelped in pain, but had the sense to dive out of the way when Naruto's sword came crashing down on her previous position, creating a huge gash in the ground, which was surrounded by a small crater.

Naruto grinned behind his mask as he continued his assault. He didn't care if he hit others with his wild swings, he just wanted this woman dead.

**"I've been waiting for this moment for quite a while, Mother...Now my blade finally gets to taste your blood!" **Naruto swung horizontally, sending a crescent-shaped chakra blade towards Kushina.

The woman cringed as she jumped back, making sure to put all her weight on her right leg. They demon hadn't even given her a chance to pull the wooden stake from her leg! Not that she really expected him to, but she thought she could at least keep him down long enough to tend to her injury.

Once she landed she instantly fell to her knees as a searing pain radiated from her abdomen. She looked down and saw blood...her blood, and lots of it. If she had of been thinking clearly at the time, she would have known to use the blood to unseal her weapon. But, unfortunately for her, she was too focused on stopping the blood flow.

'The wave...it must have caught me somehow...' she spat out the blood that had rushed up her throat, then glared at her son, only to see empty air where he once stood.

She screamed as her shoulder was impaled on Naruto's black sword and she was pinned to the ground. She tried to lift her head, only to have it smashed back down by Naruto's boot.

**"Hmph, so you are the one my asshole of a father chose as his bride...Pathetic, both of you." **had not his mask been on, Naruto would have spit on the woman under his foot.

Kushina turned her head and snarled at the masked shinobi. "Shut up, you filthy beast! You know nothing of Minato! So don't you dare speak of him that way!" she then smirked. "What, you still have a vendetta against the one who sealed you?" she laughed mockingly. "Holding a grudge against a dead man...now who's pathetic?" the answer to her question came in the form of a low growl and a twist of the blade in her shoulder, causing her to yelp again.

**"That's right, squeal like the whore you are! I hate that bastard for making my life a living hell...But I thank him as well. Without his idiocy, I never would have become what I am today...I never would have reached this level...And I never would have gotten the chance to do this to you." **he held his palm over Kushina's head, making sure she could see what he was about to do.

Kushina's eyes widened when she saw the chakra swirl around in his palm before becoming a perfect sphere, shining with power. 'I...It can't be...No, Sarutobi wouldn't be foolish enough to...'

Naruto grinned at her shocked and horrified expression. **"That's right, take a good look at it...You know what it is, and you know what it can do. But let me tell you now, this ain't my daddy's Rasengan! This is something that I came up with myself...It packs twice the destructive force of a normal Rasengan...But, when enhanced even further by pure youki, it becomes six times stronger than normal...Say hello, and goodbye, to my Akuma Kyuutai Rasengan!" **Naruto roared as he drove his hand into Kushina's back, through her body, and into the ground beneath.

The resulting explosion could only be described as cataclysmic. Entire buildings were toppled and trees were ripped from the ground by the blast wave alone. The compressed youki within the sphere quickly expanded outwards, destroying anything in it's path. The blast was suddenly stopped by an invisible force, but continued upwards, turning into a gigantic tower of fire, molten rock, and demonic chakra.

The Sandaime sighed in relief, he hadn't been too late. While Naruto and Kushina were occupied, he had ANBU and Jōnin dash in and take the civilians out of harms way. Then, after he had no less than two-hundred Jōnin and ANBU arranged in a massive circle, he gave the order for them to make the barrier. If Naruto and Kushina were going to declare war on one another, there was nothing anyone could do to stop it. But at least that could contain the battle and keep collateral damage to a minimum.

Sarutobi had no doubt in his mind that Naruto's new attack would have leveled a huge chunk of Konoha, killing hundreds of people, if it had not been contained. He also saw that the barrier had barely held up to the onslaught of youki. It wasn't meant to take something that potent in such large amounts, not at all. What did this mean? Simple: if Naruto used that again, the barrier would break, and two-hundred Konoha ninjas would be incinerated in a matter of seconds, possibly himself included. This also meant that if Naruto wanted out, he would get out.

'But I have to wonder...with an attack like that, did you sacrifice yourself to kill your mother? Does your hatred for her run so deep...that you would throw away your own life just to take her down with you?' Sarutobi knew it was a foolish question. Of course Naruto hated his mother that much, if not more. There was NOTHING he wouldn't do, NOTHING he wouldn't put himself through to kill that woman. "Are you willing to do something truly terrible to destroy her?" he prayed that Naruto didn't know how to release the seal containing Kyuubi. Naruto, as well as Kyuubi herself, had assured him the fox wasn't the evil entity everyone portrayed her as, but the aged Hokage still didn't trust the Kitsune.

While they waited for the dust and flames to settle, everyone held their breaths. Though most thought that it was impossible for anyone to have survived that blast, they also knew that Naruto had a knack for doing the impossible. And, for those of them that knew Kushina, she also had that same talent.

They all sighed, some in relief, others in sorrow, as the dust settled and the all but unrecognizable bodies of the two warriors within the barrier became visible. It was a terrible, horrifying sight to behold.

Naruto had been literally torn in half by his own technique. His entire left side had been completely blow off from the leg to his shoulder. His right side was singed and the skin had melted off, showing the muscle and bone underneath, which had also been cooked and blackened. His mask was cracked and melted, but still intact, though no one knew exactly how it had managed to survive.

Kushina actually seemed to be in better condition than her son. She had a huge hold in her chest and her body looked more like a human-shaped pile of tar, but at least it was intact. She was still dead, and there was no hope of an open-casket funeral, but she was still in better condition than Naruto.

Sarutobi sighed and a single tear rolled down his cheek. 'This is a sad day, indeed.'

One of the ANBU next to the Hokage squinted as he looked out onto the battlefield. He thought he saw movement. But that was impossible! Nothing could have survived that blast...Nothing human, anyway.

"H-H-Hokage-sama!" the ANBU let out a terrified whimper as he inched back, pointing a shaking finger towards the fallen ninjas.

Every ninja present looked to where he had pointed, and many had to keep themselves from reeling back in shock. Kushina was moving!

"Hokage-sama, we must save her! You there, lower the barrier so we can get the medics through!" Kakashi, who had just shown up after sensing the immense amounts of chakra being generated by both warriors. He knew exactly who was down there: his sensei's wife.

"Wait! I did not give that order! Hatake, contain yourself! I have a feeling this battle is just beginning." the old man said cryptically, glared at the moving body of Kushina Uzumaki.

(Battleground)

Kushina groaned in pain. That attack had nearly done her in. If not for her activating her bloodline, she would have looked something like Naruto did now.

She huffed and whimpered as the large hole in her chest closed and the organs reformed themselves. The burnt and blackened skin melted away from her, revealing red...scales?

The woman turned her head and glared at Naruto, who was still, apparently, dead. Her eyes were no longer blue, but golden and slitted.

"You...You almost succeeded, demon. I congratulate you for making me use my Kekkei Genkai!" she grinned, revealing her teeth-turned-fangs.

The rest of the singed flesh felt away, revealing red scales covering her entire body like chainmail. She realized that she was naked, though the scales covered everything, and quickly summoned her special battle armor, which she had sealed into a tattoo on her left forearm. A plume of white smoke exploded from her location, obscuring the view of everyone watching. When the smoke cleared, Kushina still stood in the same spot, but she was decked out in what looked like a combination of samurai and ANBU armor.

At first glance, it didn't look like much. Just a red bodysuit covered by some kind of black metal armor, something like the armor upgrades ANBU Captains could have by sacrificing his/her next five paychecks, or the mandatory upgrade during war. But anyone that truly observed the armor could tell that it was anything but normal. It was MUCH tougher than that.

The crimson bodysuit was made out of an extremely tough metal-plastic hybrid fiber that commonly woven into Chūnin/Jōnin vests and ANBU body armor. In its normal state, the material looked and felt like regular cloth. But, when infused with chakra, it gained the strength and durability of mid-grade steel. This made the material ideal for body armor, and could be turned into a vest on its own, but it was _very_ expensive, and only Daimyos and clan heads would ever even think of wearing something like that. This was the reason the material was layered so thinly onto normal ninja armor, and thus served as more of a formality than any real protection, something to make the wearer feel better.

But Kushina would have none of that. To have an entire bodysuit made of the material had cost her a LOT of money and more than a few favors from friends, but it was nothing compared to the metal that made up her breastplate, knee and shin guards, and her vambraces. It was a metal said to have been produced only in the Underworld, naturally stronger than anything man-made, and able to absorb chakra as well as impact.

Kushina tapped her breastplate lightly. "Wish I had worn this before I fought the demon." she mumbled to herself, then turned to where she saw Sarutobi standing. "Hey, Sarutobi, cancel the barrier, the demon's dead!"

Some of the shinobi and kunoichi present had the nerve to cheer, earning them glares and possible pay cuts from the Sandaime.

The Hokage sighed heavily and was about to give the order to bring the barrier down, but then he, and everyone else, heard something that chilled them to the bone.

Naruto was laughing! But this wasn't a laugh that held any humor, or even his normal hollow laugh. No, this was the laugh of a monster. It seemed to be a mix of three voices at once. Naruto's normal voice, a booming baritone, and a sinister rasp, all melding together to produce a voice that couldn't be anything but supernatural.

Naruto turned his head to look at Sarutobi. **"Don't you dare remove the barrier, you old monkey! This bitch isn't getting away from me that easily!" **that terrifying laugh rang out again, echoing off of some non-existent surfaces.

Kushina growled, sounding like an angry crocodile, and turned to the still laughing boy. "So, the demon still lives?"

Naruto chuckled. **"You think I would use a technique on you that I knew I wouldn't survive myself? Please. I'll let you in on a little secret, mother, that attack was only at forty percent power!" **his insane laugh caused Kushina to flinch.

The woman snarled then walked over to Naruto and kicked him in the face, causing his head to snap sideways with a loud crack. "There, maybe having a broken neck will shut you up."

The laughter started again, and Naruto's head shifted until another crack was heard, then turned to Kushina again.

**"You make me laugh, woman! You think way too highly of yourself. I'll be sure to beat the ego out of you before I tear out your heart!" **crimson youki started to pour out of his body in a thick fog of power, causing Kushina to jump back to avoid being swallowed.

(Outside Of The Barrier)

Shinobi and kunoichi were screaming like mad, knowing exactly where that youki was coming from. They looked to there Hokage for orders to destroy the demon while it was still weakened.

Sarutobi just narrowed his eyes. "Just strengthen the barrier."

Kakashi looked at the man like he had finally gone senile. "With all due respect, sir, you're crazy! The seal is breaking, we can all feel it! He's using too much of the fox's youki for the seal to hold up! We have to take it down now!"

The Hokage glared at the Jōnin. "Finally showing your true colors, Hatake?"

Kakashi took an involuntary step back. "Sir?"

Sarutobi's glare intensified. "Do NOT play games with me, Hatake. I know you're thinking it, and I've always known, but I thought you would eventually see the error of your ways. I guess I was wrong."

Kakashi steeled himself and level his own glare on the Hokage. "Listen, Hokage-sama, I know how you feel about the boy, but can't you see that the Naruto you knew doesn't exist anymore?"

"And whose fault is that, Hatake?"

Kakashi choked on his own words, then narrowed his eye. "Mine. I admit that. It is my fault Naruto died."

"Naruto is not dead, fool! Use your eye and look down there!"

"I am not the fool here, you are! That" Kakashi pointed at the large bubble of youki that encased Naruto, "is NOT Naruto! That thing isn't human, it never was! It was my fault that the boy died, and it was my fault that the Kyuubi corrupted what was left of him. But it's your fault for allowing that creature down there to live! And now I will do my job as a grunt and clean up the commander's mess." Kakashi turned to the ninjas present. "Lower the b-!" the cycloptic shinobi found a hand wrapped around his throat.

The Sandaime glared furiously at Kakashi, contemplating just killing him now. "Who do you think you are, Hatake? While I am here, you have no authority whatsoever. I give the orders as I see fit! And if you ever, and I mean EVER, step out of line like that again, I'll kill you myself. Is that clear, Hatake?" the old man hissed, mentally cringing at how much he sounded like Orochimaru.

Kakashi gulped and nodded. "I...I'm sorry, sir...I don't know what came over me."

Sarutobi scoffed and let the man go. "Don't give me that bullshit, you let your hatred of an innocent boy cloud your judgment, and you're going to pay for it."

Kakashi messaged his neck. "That...monster down there is about as innocent as Itachi." he suddenly stiffened as he was hit with focused killing intent from someone extremely powerful.

"Hatake Kakashi...You are out of line, and you are breaking the law, _Jōnin_." a monotonous voice reached his ears. If the Jōnin didn't know better, he'd say it was Naruto behind him. "Now, take your pathetic self, and go down there with the rest of the grunts. If you refuse to comply, I will kill you. Despite what you like to believe, you would be no great loss to this village. Now go." Kakashi found himself behind tossed down to where the other Jōnin were stationed.

Sarutobi pulled out his pipe, lit it with an E-Class Fire technique, and took a few puffs to calm his nerves. He then turned to the newcomer.

"So, how long have you been here?"

"Forty-two minutes and thirty-seven seconds." the man replied.

The Hokage couldn't see anything beyond the dark cloak the other shinobi was wearing, but knew exactly who and what he was talking to. This was one of his personal force, his most trusted warriors, each one with the strength to take on multiple Jōnin level ninja and come out on top. And this man was the Captain of Division Nine, known only to him and others of their number as "Zero Squad". No prisoners, no survivors.

The Captain turned towards the battlefield, staring intently at the dome of youki, intrigued by the small traces of blue chakra swirling within it.

"Well, I guess a better question would be _why_ are you here? I thought I assigned you and your division to..._take care_ of that troubling little bandit village near the border."

The man turned his head towards his boss, giving him a look that, even though no one could see it, clearly meant, "Are you serious?"

"Hokage-sama, with all due respect, you must be going senile if you think it would take us two days just to kill a couple thousand bandits." the Captain returned his gaze to where Naruto was supposed to be.

"That still doesn't tell me why you're here, Captain. Are any of your subordinates here?"

"Yes, my entire squad is here...As well as the Captains of divisions Two, Four, Five, Seven, and Eight. As for what I'm doing here; I'm here for the same reason all of them are..."

"And what is that?" the Sandaime asked, even though he already knew just from the man's intense gaze.

"Scouting." the Captain left it at that, knowing the last piece of the puzzle had been filled in for the Hokage.

"Are you sure you want Naruto in your division?"

"If he can hold his own against someone like Kushina-sama when she's pissed off, then he's more than earned a place in the Black Ops Divisions. I'm not sure even I would have lasted this long against her, let alone still be fighting. He's even forced her to bring out her armor, though for reasons other than battle. Besides, I think Division Nine would be a very...fitting place for him, don't you?"

Sarutobi chuckled, knowing what the Captain was getting at. "I assume some of your other members want to meet him?"

"Of course. The Second Division's Captain said something about him being an 'old friend' , Fourth Division's Captain wants to screw him until _she_ can't walk right, Fifth Division's Captain wants to use his DNA for experiments, Seventh Division's Captain wants to fight him, Eighth Division's Captain just wants to get him before I do."

"And what about you and your squad? What do you want from him?"

"...To be honest with you, I don't really know. I'm just doing it for my Lieutenant, she's been obsessed with him for the past few years."

Sarutobi smirked. "Ah, her. Yes, they're actually good friends, but he doesn't know who she really is or what she's capable of. Given, her skills must have rusted a bit since her indefinite discharge five years ago."

"Her emotions were becoming a problem...a liability...But I didn't want to _deal_ with her like the other liabilities, so I gave her some time off, so to speak. I'll be the first to admit that the squad and I do miss her. Hell, even Eighth Division misses her, and they don't give a damn about anyone but themselves. That's probably why their Captain is trying so hard to get the Jinchuuriki. He doesn't want to make the same mistake he did with her, and let me get him first." the Ninth Division Captain's eyes widened behind his mask as he felt the already massive amount of killing intent increase dramatically. It was almost suffocating just being this close to the barrier, and both the Captain and the Hokage could only imagine what it was like on the inside.

(Naruto vs. Kushina)

Kushina was starting to get worried now. The killing intent alone was enough to send a lesser person into a coma, if it didn't kill them outright. But now there was the intense heat and pressure of the youki to deal with.

'I...I can't move...I can barely breathe!' Kushina fell to her knees, eyes almost bulging out of their sockets. 'This pressure...It's too much...It feels like gravity just increased a hundredfold! I'm being suffocated...crushed...' she gritted her teeth and glared at the figure that was slowly becoming more visible within crimson dome. 'No...I won't allow this demon to beat me! Naruto...I will free you!' she slowly, laboriously, rose her right hand to her mouth and bit her thumb. She nearly flattened as the pressure increase yet again, but kept herself on her hands and knees. Steadying herself, Kushina brought her bleeding thumb to her left wrist.

But a sudden wave of pure terror swept over her, stopping her thumb just centimeters away from the sealing tattoo. She had never noticed the blue human chakra swirling within the youki, fusing with it. She never noticed the dome suddenly turn dark purple. She never noticed the dome shrink until it became a thick cloud of condensed chakra around a tall, armored figure. She never noticed this figure stalking towards her, a massive zanbatō propped up on its shoulder. She did notice, however, the size fifteen boot that found its way to her face, sending her flying back at least twenty feet.

_"Nice armor, who'd you blow to get it? While it's nothing compared to mine, I still think it can take quite a bit of punishment. It's a metal alloy, made only in the Underworld, fused with the melted bones of Demolisher demons, right?"_ Naruto, in his Noctis form, walked up to Kushina again, but jumped back when she pulled a longsword out of nowhere and slashed at him. _"I see you've still got some fight left in you. That's good, gives me something else to beat out of you!"_

Kushina rose to her feet, crimson bangs casting shadows over her eyes. Her head slowly rose to meet Naruto's eyes, then a sudden burst of chakra caused his blonde and black ponytail to wave violently in the air behind him.

Naruto's eyes widened, then he chuckled darkly. _"Yes, that's it...Now we can stop pussyfooting around and get down to the real battle!"_ the eye of the Soul Edge opened and took in the surroundings before locking onto Kushina and glowing.

Kushina locked eyes with Naruto, her slitted pupils looking into his own, golden irises glowing with rage. Her sharpened teeth bared in a feral snarl, segmented longsword clutched in her right hand, which now sported sharp black claws in place of nails. Her left hand rose and her clawed finger pointed at her enemy.

"You won't win this fight, demon, nor will you survive it. Now that you've shown your true form to us all, I can kill you without the guilt of cutting down my own son!"

Naruto scratched his neck and yawned, pissing Kushina off more. _"Are you done yet? Do you have an 'off' switch, or something? Maybe a remote? I'd like to fast-forward to the part where I beat you to a bloody pulp, if you don't mind."_

Kushina's snarl turned into a predatory smirk as she pointed her sword at Naruto.

"You? Beating me? Don't overestimate yourself, demon. I may not be as strong as my late husband, but I'm more than enough for the likes of you!"

Naruto snorted, detecting slight uncertainty in her voice. It was almost non-existent, but it was still there. He took a few milliseconds to mentally evaluate his mother's sword. It was an odd one, but he was the last person that should talk about odd swords; his had an eye!

Kushina's sword looked like a normal longsword, something that, in itself, was rare in these lands, where people favored the katana and ninjatō. But Naruto could tell her sword was unique. It was made from a metal that was meant to channel chakra, making it stronger, and could probably handle the strain of elemental attacks with ease. It also appeared to be segmented, like a worm, indicating that it could split apart and be used as a bladed whip, or daggertail.

'No doubt she uses chakra to control its movements, just like Pondera and his chains. This will be interesting!' Naruto thought.

Kushina and Naruto stared at one another. Kushina in hatred and disgust, Naruto with hatred and amusement. Their chakra levels were already off the charts, and climbing well beyond anything exhibited by anyone below Kage level. Naruto was amusing himself before the battle, using his more potent hanyou chakra to overpower Kushina's, but she was holding her own much better than he expected, forcing him into a stalemate with her.

_"You're pretty strong..."_ Naruto smirked behind his helm.

Kushina smirked as well. " Flattery wi-!" she was cutoff by Naruto suddenly appearing behind her, sword raised.

_"For a human."_ Naruto whispered, toying with Kushina's already deranged mind.

Naruto brought the sword down on his mother, cleaving through her and smashing into the ground with incredible force, resulting in a huge plume of pulverized earth. When the dust settled, Naruto was revealed to be standing in a large crater, sword stuck inside of a deep gash in the ground, and completely alone.

Looking around, Naruto ripped his sword from the earth and sniffed the air. A whiff of strawberries and something unidentifiable caused him to jump high into the air, and not a second too soon, as Kushina came crashing down on his previous position with another Heel Drop.

Kushina growled and looked at her now airborne foe. She raised her sword above her head and started to swing it around. The blade seemed to break apart, but was held together by wires to become a chain of razors.

"Now you will feel the wrath of the Dragontail!" Kushina flung the chainsword at Naruto.

Naruto mentally cursed when he felt the blades wrap around his leg, then felt himself violently pulled back to earth. The air was driven from his lungs by the impact, leaving him vulnerable for a few seconds. But that was more than enough for Kushina to exploit, like any good ninja.

Keeping the Dragontail wrapped around his leg, Kushina turned her entire body and swung her chainsword like a club. Naruto was ripped from the ground and flung into the barrier, where he was instantly welcomed with three-hundred thousand volts of electricity. He would have screamed if he could breathe, but the fact that very few of his bodily functions still worked at the moment allowed him to keep the same dignity allotted to fried chicken.

Kushina willed her chainsword to unwrap its victim's leg just before it touched the barrier, knowing that her blade would conduct the electricity and shock the hell out of her, too. She laughed as the demon twitched and squirmed, like a worm on a hook attached an electrode.

"How does it feel, demon? You like it, don't you? You enjoy the pain, you sick fucker!" she began to make handseals, flowing through them faster than all but the most well-trained eyes could see. "Let's see just how much pain you can take! Water Release: Water Dragon Projectile!" a large ball of water formed in the air above Kushina's head. Two slits appeared on the surface, and slowly widened until they became eyes. A long muzzle soon followed, then a complete head adorned with horns, and a long serpentine body. The liquid dragon roared, then shot towards its target.

Naruto cursed as he stared, helplessly, into the mouth of the dragon speeding towards him. But smirked soon after when he remembered something from his training with Nightmare. He closed his eyes and projected his thoughts to the Soul Edge, which was stuck in the ground a few hundred feet away after he had lost his grip on it. The sword shuddered, then ripped itself from the ground. Floating in midair, it began to spin, picking up speed quickly, then launching itself at its master.

Naruto opened his eyes to see the dragon only thirty feet away. He was already being electrocuted, having that thing turn him into an armored pancake wouldn't help matters, nor would being wet. The Soul Edge, now spinning like a circular saw, appeared in front of him, intercepting the dragon and splitting it in half. The halves impacted on either side of Naruto and he laughed while grabbing the hilt of his now stationary sword.

The eye on the Soul Edge closed, then opened, changing from an angry red to a bright electric blue. Small bolts of electricity flowed and arced around the blade and Naruto, giving him a temporary boost in his Lightning alignment. This boost allowed him to use the electricity currently running through him to power an attack, which he did.

_"You like to play with dragons, do you? I'll show you a fucking dragon! Lightning Release..."_ a massive bolt of lightning shot from Naruto up into the clouds. They darkened suddenly, congregating over the battlefield and blocking out the morning sun. Bolts of lightning danced from cloud to cloud, one in particular larger than the others. Another odd thing about this bolt was the fact that, unlike the other bolts, this one wasn't just a brief flash, it was a continuous stream of electricity, being fed by something. The rumble of thunder suddenly shook all of Konoha.

'Wait...that...that wasn't thunder...' Kushina's eyes widened in horror, she knew that sound all too well.

_"Dragon Bolt!"_ Naruto roared, and the giant stream of electricity above responded to his call with another roar. The huge bolt shot down from the clouds, significantly slower than an actual lightning bolt, tip resembling the gaping mouth of a dragon, smaller bolts acting as "teeth".

Kushina looked on, too mesmerized by the sight to avoid it. When her brain started functioning properly again, it was too late. The dragon "swallowed" her as it impacted with the ground, resulting in a deafening crack, a blinding flash, and a huge explosion of earth and debris.

Naruto laughed insanely as he slowly allowed himself to slide down the barrier, using the Soul Edge to store more energy for another attack. _"That was my gift to you, mother! Do you like it? I made it myself! Two million volts, all for you!"_ he laughed again, stalking towards what he assumed to be the charred corpse of Kushina Uzumaki. _"Tell me, could you feel the 'love' I put into your gift? Does it make you feel...warm and fuzzy on the inside? Don't worry, that was just your organs being roasted!"_ his laughter quickly died when he saw that there was no corpse, or even ashes. _"Well shit."_ he muttered.

He heard a series of cracks from below and looked down to see water bubbling up from the ground all around him. He wanted to jump somewhere, but there was nowhere to go! His Akuma Kyuutai Rasengan had destroyed all of the buildings around, and they had been fighting in a giant crater! There was no high-ground, and he couldn't fly, so that meant there was no escape. All he could do was stand on top of the water as it rose.

(Outside)

Sarutobi narrowed his eyes. 'Kushina, what are you up to now?'

The Captain of the Ninth Division Black Ops squad nodded in appreciation. "I can see why the boy is so highly valued, he's quite a fighter. The techniques, the transformation; it's all superb! That lightning attack is something I'd love to learn, but I don't have a Lightning alignment, so that could become a problem." he continued to mutter his evaluations to himself, then disappeared suddenly.

A Chūnin appeared next to the Hokage in a puff of smoke, kneeling before the older man.

Sarutobi glanced at the shinobi. "I assume everything's been taken care of?"

"Yes sir, Hokage-sama! As you requested, no one below the level of Jōnin is permitted inside of the designated area. The rest of the Chūnin are seeing to the civilians and Genin, but we didn't know what to do with Momochi-san and those with him."

The Hokage nodded. "Very good, Iruka-san. Let them through, they're friends of Naruto's, and may be able to calm him down once this is all over, if he survives."

Iruka nodded and looked towards Naruto, or what he thought was Naruto. "Hokage-sama...what is that?"

The Hokage took a puff from his pipe. "What I am about to tell you will not be repeated to anyone else, understood?" the scarred Chūnin nodded. "Good. That is the end result of something given to Naruto be the Kyuubi itself. Apparently, the fox refuses to have a weak vessel, and now has something of an obsession with making Naruto the strongest human ever to exist."

Iruka's eyes widened in horror. "Hokage-sama, how can you trust a demon? Especially a Kitsune like him?"

"Her."

"Pardon me?" Iruka rose an eyebrow.

"The Kyuubi is a female, and has..._alternate_ motives behind making Naruto as strong as possible." the Hokage intended to drop the subject, assuming Iruka got the idea.

Iruka cocked his head to the side, a habit he may have picked up from Naruto. "I'm not following you, sir."

"She wants Naruto to be strong for reasons other than revenge against us and/or the Yondaime."

Iruka shook his head. "I still don't get it."

"Oh, for Kami's sake, she has the hots for the boy!" Sarutobi whispered loudly.

Iruka's face seemed to blush and blanch at the same time, giving him an odd pinkish skin tone. It was quite a funny sight.

"Iruka-san, you really need to get out more. It's no wonder you get confused by innuendos!" Sarutobi smirked at Iruka's shocked look. "What? You thought I didn't know about that time Kiba stumped you, or the time when Anko almost beat your face in when you laughed at her attempt to seduce you, thinking it was some kind of joke? You need to visit a bar once in a while, get more educated, so to speak."

Iruka just grumbled something incoherent and disappeared in a swirl of leaves.

The Captain appeared once again. "I have spoken to my squad, and we're ready to carry out any plans you may have."

The Hokage nodded. "I hope that they are. We need to wait until they've weakened each other enough to do it, however, so hang back for now."

The Captain nodded and raised a hand to his ear. "I assume you all got that?" he was answered with a series of "Yes sir"s

(Naruto vs. Kushina)

Naruto was getting really annoyed now. The only point this water seemed to serve was to confirm the fact that the barrier only electrocuted organic matter, so things like water and metal were just prevented from penetrating. The water just kept rising! There seemed to be no end to it, and it was pissing Naruto off.

'You know what? Screw this.' Naruto then plunged the Soul Edge into the water and commanded it to release its stored energy. But, before his sword even broke the surface, the water started to spin.

The rotations picked up speed and a giant hole formed directly in the center.

'Figures, this is a giant whirlpool.' Naruto rolled his eyes. What, exactly, was this supposed to accomplish?

But, as Hatake always said, "Look underneath the underneath". All he had to do was wait for Kushina to spring her surprise attack, counter it, then torture her to death, simple.

'Come on, come on!' Naruto was getting more and more pissed by the second. _"Hey, bitch, what the fuck is taking so long? I think we've got enough water here, so come up and get what's comin' to ya'!"_

"Do I have to tear out your vocal chords for you to stop calling me 'bitch'?" Kushina's annoyed growl sounded from behind Naruto.

He turned and stared at her in disbelief, no surprise attack? _"I'll stop calling you a bitch when you stop being one. But, it seems the only way you'll stop is if I kill you. So, you want me to stop calling you a bitch? Come over here so I can cut your head off."_ Naruto said cheerfully, eye-smiling like a certain one-eyed Jōnin.

His eyes widened when Kushina's Dragontail was wrapped around his neck.

Kushina laughed as she watched the armored demon choke, watching the blood run down from his wounds with glittering eyes. "So, you bleed red, demon? I was expecting black, maybe even green, but not crimson. Almost makes me think you're human..." she jerked back, causing the blades of her Dragontail to cut even deeper into the demon's flesh. "_Almost_." she cackled.

Naruto grabbed the chainsword and flooded it with his chakra. This disrupted Kushina's own chakra flow, causing her to lose control of the blade, and allowing Naruto to unwrap it.

He messaged his neck, feeling the wounds heal almost as soon as the blades left. _"That kinda hurt, you know that? Just for that, I'm not gonna _cut_ your head off, I'm gonna _saw _it off!"_ he let go of the chainsword, which reeled itself back to its original form, and charged at his mother, laughing like a lunatic.

Kushina also charged, a demented grin marring her features, meeting her son in the air above the whirlpool. After briefly locking swords, both combatants disappeared.

The loud clangs of metal striking metal were heard by all, brief flashes of sparks appearing all over the place, seemingly in multiple places at the same time. It didn't look like two people were doing all this! It was more like a small army clashing against one another, hundreds of fighters, all battling for dominance.

(Outside)

The ANBU and Jōnin were having problems following the movements, Kakashi had his Sharingan active, several Hyūga present had their Byakugan active, yet very few could follow them. But the Hokage and the Ninth Division Captain weren't having any problems at all.

"...The kid is fast...Really fast." the Captain murmured.

The Hokage nodded. "That he is...I wonder where Gai is right now, he must be on the verge of a conniption fit."

The Captain chuckled, an extremely creepy noise that slightly unnerved even Sarutobi. "Great, now I want to set up a race between the two."

The Sandaime chuckled this time. "Make sure to rope Kakashi into it, too. Oh, and get pictures of the look on his face." he then remembered something. "Say, speaking of photos, did you get the photos of Naruto's prank on the Uchiha?"

The Captain snickered, a sound almost as creepy as his chuckling. "Oh yeah, had half the division on the floor!"

"I'll have to get you copies of the videos for his latest 'project'. Tops anything he's ever done, even the monument painting!"

The Captain whistled, he'd had one of his division members help chase Naruto down after that, and even she had lost him, and she was an Inuzuka!

(Naruto vs. Kushina)

Naruto was quickly tiring of this pathetic game. It was like a game of cat and mouse, but both were trying to be the cat! It was pointless, and they were getting nowhere fast.

Decided to kick things up a notch, Naruto pumped some chakra into the Soul Edge. _"Ravaging Wave!"_ he swung the blade in a horizontal arc, sending a huge, crescent-shaped wave of dark purple chakra at Kushina.

The woman's eyes widened as the wave hit her, cleaving through her armor with ease and splitting her in half. The two halves suddenly turned into water, revealing it to be nothing but a Water Clone.

_"Shit!"_ Naruto hissed, then felt a sudden surge of chakra from below.

He tried to jump away, but found that he was behind held to the water's surface by another clone. He looked up and only one thought came to mind.

'Fuck.' he was then sent tumbling into the barrier by a Rasengan, courtesy of Kushina. That's what had been powering the whirlpool, the bitch was underwater with a Rasengan!

Needless to say, Naruto didn't like being shocked again. Going through the process of changing the Soul Edge to a lightning alignment, he simply chose to electrify the water to get back at his mother.

Kushina felt like liquid fire was running through her veins. Everything hurt! Even her fucking _hair_ was in pain! She sunk below the water when Naruto stopped, but was pulled back to, and above, the surface by his large hand.

Naruto brought the woman to eye-level and glared at her. _"You've given me a good fight, mother. In fact, it was so good, I'll let you choose how you die! How do ya' want it? Blown to bits? Chopped to pieces? Melted? Poisoned, crushed, beaten, broken, folded, drowned, fried, flayed, impaled, what? I can do it all!"_

Kushina snarled weakly and spit onto his shielded face. "Fuck you...demon bastard."

Naruto didn't bother to wipe the glob away, choosing to growl at the woman. _"If I remember correctly, from what you've been spouting this whole time, you and the Yondaime Hokage were married when I was born, were you not? If that is the case, how can I be a bastard? And the spitting was unnecessary, just accept defeat with some dignity, woman! You know what? Just for that, I'm gonna say, 'Fuck your choices', and go with good old fashioned mutilation!"_ he then jammed his claws into Kushina's gut, twisting and pushing, trying to work his way through her armor, into her intestines, and, eventually, out through the other side of her body.

Kushina screamed, blood bubbling up from her mouth and spraying onto Naruto. Naruto gave a violent shove, pushing his entire hand into her body, grabbing hold of her large intestine, and crushing it.

Naruto closed his eyes and growled with pleasure at the sound of his mother's guts squishing between his fingers.

_"Oh, Kami, I think I just came a little!"_ Naruto laughed insanely.

Kushina suddenly grabbed his arm and held it. She started to laugh, then lifted her head and grinned at Naruto. "Boom." the clone exploded, sending Naruto into the barrier again.

Naruto knew the Soul Edge could only change alignments three times a day, at its current level, and he'd just used them all for the same damned thing! This meant that he'd have to recharge the sword with more souls before it could change its alignment again. And, with how slow missions were coming along, it would be a while before he would be able to kill that many beings to gain their souls. He could use animals, but most didn't have enough energy to be of any use. He sighed mentally, this meant more nights spent in the Forest of Death looking for giant tigers and the like.

This little predicament resulted in him being SEVERELY pissed off. _"Dammit, you bitch! Look what you've done now! Now I have to take more souls to power this thing, thank you very much!"_

"Aww, so sorry to be such an inconvenience. Blow it out your ass, demon!" Kushina appeared before him and punched Naruto in the face, but he managed to stop himself from going into the barrier.

_"Dammit, stop doing that and fight me like a man...er...woman...Fight me like a true warrior!"_ he smacked Kushina aside when she attempted to attack him again, but his fist went right through her as lost her solid form and reverted back to water. _"More clones. This is getting really annoying...Though I really have no right to talk, since I use clones quite a lot, as well."_ he smirked. _"In fact, why don't I show you the..._proper_ way to use clones."_ for this he needed more darkness, more shadows, but there weren't any besides his own and Kushina's, and that wouldn't do. Not for what he had planned.

Kushina watched as the demon looked at her, then sank underwater. 'What is he up to? Going under while fighting me? Meh, who cares? He just made my job easier.' she smirked and started the sequence of handseals for one of her personal techniques. She was knocked off balance by the sudden shift in the water's movements, however, and was forced to abort.

Another whirlpool started up, but this one was more violent than Kushina's. The water was slowly pushed away from the center, raising up the walls of the barrier until it was a giant hollow tower of liquid. She looked down from her perch at the very top of the tower and saw Naruto down on the ground, looking up at her, with his vile chakra swirling around him, pushing the water back.

The tower served its purpose of creating a huge shadow for him to work with. It was pretty dim as it was, with the clouds still blocking the sun, as there was no wind to move them at the time. But now, inside the barrier, it was like twilight, which was perfect for Naruto. He created eight clones around him and had them all target Kushina after giving them their orders mentally.

They all began their designated series of handseals, and Naruto flew through a familiar set of demon seals.

Each clone finished their sequence and spat out eight elemental dragon attacks.

"Fire Release: Fire Dragon Flame Missile." one clone called.

"Water Release: Water Dragon Projectile." another called, his dragon forming out of the tower itself.

"Lighting Release: Dragon Bolt." a dragon-shaped bolt of lightning, smaller than the first one, but still larger than normal, appeared and floated above the clone's head.

"Earth Release: Earth Dragon Projectile." a section of earth rose up and morphed to the shape of a serpentine dragon in front of another clone.

"Wind Release: Dragon Revenant." a small tornado formed in front of a clone, slowly twisting and contorting to the shape of a transparent dragon with blank white eyes, giving it a phantom-like appearance.

"Ice Release: Dragon Blizzard." another clone thrust out its fists, producing a single black dragon with red eyes, red mouth lining, and an almost shark-like appearance.

"Demon Skill: Acid Dragon." another clone released a cloud of green fumes from the vents in its helm, which solidified and formed yet another dragon. This one was dripping some kind of slime, which was burning through the ground below it, showing that it was, indeed, made of acid.

"Demon Skill: Lava Dragon Missile." the clone next to Naruto slammed its hands into the ground, which seemed to melt around it. The ground suddenly parted as a jet of molten rock burst through and formed into another dragon, which was "drooling" streams of lava.

"Demon Skill: Blackfire Dragon." Naruto formed the last dragon and laughed. "This is a technique I made up a while ago, a mass destruction attack, sure to completely obliterate the enemy, along with the surrounding area! Uzumaki Kushina, meet the Nine Dragons of Destruction! Nine Dragons, meet your first victim!" he pointed at Kushina, causing every dragon to rocket towards her.

Kushina could only look on in absolute terror. There was nothing she could do. She was too weak to counter it, and she doubted even her husband could stop something like this. All she could do was stare in awe and fear, and hope against hope that the demon wouldn't take her soul and she would be allowed to see her husband again.

'Kagimi, Kuishiro, Houshima, it's up to you now. Fight for both me and your brother...Kill the demon, and free both of our souls.'

Naruto dismissed his clones, then fell to his knees, returning to his original form. He barely had enough chakra to stand, let alone keep up the transformation. This attack would probably kill him, too, with the blast, but he took comfort in the fact that he was going down fighting, and he was taking that bitch with him! At this point he was just glad that the clone had used some of the water for its attack, and the heat from the Fire, Blackfire, and Lava dragons had evaporated the rest of it.

The barrier was suddenly lowered, and Naruto's arms were held by two cloaked figures while a third appeared before him and grabbed his head. The figure held its free hand in a half ram seal and Naruto was sent into some kind of trance.

The dragons above suddenly veered off course and up into the sky, speeding into low orbit.

"Kai." the figure whispered, then the dragons all exploded somewhere in the stratosphere, where their effects would be minimal at worst, nothing more than a great fireworks display.

The cloaked ninja took its hand off of Naruto's head. Naruto growled at him and tried to escape his captors.

"What the hell are you doing?" he roared, then looked behind them and stared in horror.

Three more cloaked figures knocked out Kushina and one was carrying the unconscious woman in its shoulders.

A seventh figure appeared alongside the Sandaime Hokage in front of Naruto.

"Nicely done. Ninety-two, good work. Ninety-three, Ninety-four, hold him." the last figure, obviously male and the leader, turned to the three with Kushina. "Ninety-five, Ninety-six, Ninety-seven, take Uzumaki-sama back to Uzu no Kuni, and allow no harm to come to her." the three nodded, then disappeared in puffs of black smoke.

Naruto suddenly went into a violent rage, screaming and roaring at them. "You bastards! I'LL KILL YOU ALL! **YOU LET HER ESCAPE!**" he nearly tossed the two holding him off as he tried to lunge for the Captain.

"Ninety-two, quiet him." the smaller figure nodded, then one of them flashed through some handseals and placed its hand in Naruto's head.

"I'm sorry, Naruto..." Naruto's eyes widened at the sound of the female's quiet whisper. "Forced Sleep Technique." Naruto's body jerked, then went limp as he began to snore.

Sarutobi looked at the surrounding ANBU and Jōnin. "You are all dismissed, the problem has been taken care of. No details of this altercation will be given to ANYONE below the rank of Chūnin. If a single Genin or civilian knows of this, the one who told will be sent to Ibiki to have his/her tongue _manually_ removed, is that clear?" the assorted ninjas nodded, then disappeared in collective poofs smoke and swirls of leaves.

The Captain looked up as the clouds finally parted, allowing the sun to shine through. He then looked at Naruto.

"Okay, I definitely want him on my squad. I need a new Ninety-nine anyway."

Sarutobi rose an eyebrow. "Oh? What happened to him?"

"He was...discharged..." the Captain dropped the subject.

The Hokage nodded. "Ah." he then looked up. "Can you believe it's not even noon yet?"

The Captain also looked back up. "Yeah, this is gonna mean a shitload of paperwork, eh, Old Man?"

Sarutobi chuckled and put his pipe back in his lips. "Not for me...for my clones."

The Captain laughed. "Finally figured it out? Who told you, the kid?"

The Hokage stared at the man, but nodded anyway. "What, am I the only person who didn't use that method for paperwork?"

The Captain shrugged. "Pretty much, yeah. Not even the instructors at the academy grade papers themselves anymore. Anyone that knows a solid clone technique uses it."

"But most Chūnin don't."

"Or so you think. A lot of them are just cowards that want to stay 'under the radar'. They know that if people figure out they can do something like that, they'll be pressured into applying for the Jōnin Exams. Most of them don't even want to do the exams, let alone the harder missions that they'll get if they pass. In the end, for most of them, it's all about extending their life expectancies. They don't want A or S-class missions, in which there's a much greater chance of death, so they stay as Chūnin, even if they have the skills of an ANBU. Though that Iruka character is a special one out of the bunch. I think he stays a Chūnin just so he can continue to be an instructor, though I can't fathom why he'd want to deal with a bunch of brats for the rest of his life. I, for one, would choose to assassinate every other Kage over teaching some little punks about being a ninja."

Sarutobi snorted. "I don't doubt that. You wouldn't make a good teacher anyway, just like Naruto there. You'd both end up scaring the kids out of the career, or turning them into murderous sociopaths."

The Captain shrugged. "Hm, it seems the others have left. Seeing as how I got here first, I'm not surprised."

The Hokage took a puff from his pipe. "Tell me, have you given Naruto the..._invitation_ yet?"

The Captain only shrugged again. "Maybe, maybe not."

"Yeah, be cryptic while you can. Danzo's going to make his move any day now, and, when news of this battle reaches him, he's going to use Naruto's hatred of his mother to his advantage. Right now, he has a very good chance of luring Naruto to his side."

The Captain snorted at the name of the old warhawk. "I still don't know why you won't let me kill that old windbag. He and your old teammates really get on my nerves with the way they think they can do anything, regardless of what you say. Loopholes won't be able to save them forever, and when that day comes, I look forward to putting some holes in them myself."

Sarutobi narrowed his eyes at nothing in particular. "You know I can't let you kill them without proper reasons...like if they were plotting treason against me."

"Oh? Is that permission to go after Danzo I hear?"

"Only if you have undeniable proof that he's plotting against me. I've heard rumors of him plotting with Orochimaru, but there is absolutely no proof of it, and the people who started those rumors always seem to end up 'disappearing' and ending up on the executioner's stand for 'treason'. Some of the Council members don't like him at all, but nearly half of the Ninja Council, and the entire Civilian Council are on his side. The only thing saving Naruto from public execution is the fact that most of the major clans hold nothing against him. But all it takes is two to go over to Danzo's side, or just Hiashi himself, and it's all over. And I shudder to think what will happen when the Uchiha is old enough to take his place has head of the Uchiha clan."

The Captain scoffed. "Then the kid here will take over the Namikaze clan, and he'll be damn near untouchable, from a legal standpoint."

Sarutobi nodded, then rubbed his temples. "It's too early for this shit, and I'm too old. I don't know how much more I can take!"

The Captain looked up again and crossed his arms under his cloak. "Do you have a successor picked out?"

"The Council does, but I don't. Not yet, anyway."

"Any ideas?"

"Tsunade, for one, but I know she'll never go for it. Jiraiya was another choice but...well, you know how that will turn out."

"_Hands-on_ Sex Ed will be mandatory for all academy students...Konoha will be the porno capital of the world."

"Exactly."

"Who else?"

"Naruto...Hiashi...You...and a few others that I can't seem to remember."

"Naruto? Hiashi? Me? Just what's in that pipe, Old Man? Naruto doesn't give two shits about this place, Hiashi's already the Hyūga Council's bitch, and me? Shit, you're better off with Jiraiya, at least he's a registered shinobi of Konohagakure. If I remember correctly, according to Konoha's archives, I'm dead. So is every other member of the Nine Black Ops Divisions. Our loyalty is to you, and you alone. If Konoha burns, so be it. If you aren't the commander, or we don't like your successor, we're moving on. So you'd better come up with a successor, and he'd better be a damned good replacement. Otherwise, we're walking. I don't know, maybe we'll go out to the far West. They say no one's ever returned from there...I'm starting to wonder if they died, or they just liked it better over there."

Sarutobi chuckled. "Well, good luck to you if it ever comes to that. Come on, let's get Naruto to Dr. Mirano. He's got quite a case of chakra exhaustion."

"Yes sir, Hokage-sama." with that, every ninja present disappeared.

One top of the Hokage Monument, seven cloaked figures had been watching the entire event unfold.

"That...was very interesting." one of the figures, wearing a straw hat rather than a hood like the others, said.

"Don't you mean entertaining, brother?" the other hat-wearing figure asked.

"It was interesting, entertaining, and informative, let's just leave it at that, and report our findings to Master Arcarian." one of the figures, a female, growled. All of the figures disappeared without a single trace.

XXXX

And there it is!

I hope that was enough ass-kickery to satisfy everyone. The Black Ops ANBU have been revealed, and are known as the Nine Divisions by the Sandaime Hokage. This is NOT a reference to Bleach, though it is awesome. These guys will play a very important role in this story, but it will mainly be specific characters, not divisions as a whole. The division members also go by codenames based on their division/squads. Captains are main numbers, like Ninety, Eighty, Seventy and so on. The subordinates are the derivatory numbers and are designated the order that they joined the division, Ninety-one being the Lieutenant of Ninth Division, who the Captain handpicked as the first member of his division, and Ninety-nine being the most recent member, which is currently open.

And yes, they are not truly part of Konoha, as they are technically dead, according to the Konoha archives. They are loyal only to the Sandaime Hokage, and any others both he and the Division Captains deem worthy. Think of them as the Hokage's own private army, like Danzo's ROOT, except much more powerful. To give you an idea of their power, even the lowest ranking member of the weakest division could hold his own against Kakashi, hence the reason the Ninth Division Captain said Kakashi would be no great loss to the village.

I made some new techniques in this chapter, and some may need some explaining.

Akuma Kyuutai Rasengan(Devil Orb Spiraling Sphere). A Rasengan made with pure youki. About six times stronger than a normal Rasengan.

Wind Release: Dragon Revenant. A revenant is a vengeful spirit, the kind you see in movies like Thirteen Ghosts, and The Crow can also be called a revenant. This dragon looks like a ghost, and it's coming to kick someone's ass, so I call it a revenant.

Lightning Release: Dragon Bolt. Pretty self-explanatory. I needed a lightning draconic attack, and the only one I could find was the Lightning Dragon Tornado, and I didn't like the idea of Naruto spinning while he was using it. This was NOT a copy off of Sasugay's attack in Shitppuuden, so I don't want to hear shit about that.

Demon Skill: Acid/Lava Dragon. Well, I wanted a dragon who could melt anything it touched, so the Acid Dragon was born. Demon Skills are almost always combinations of two elements. Blackfire - Fire/Darkness, Lava - Fire/Earth. Acid isn't even an element, I just wanted it to melt shit Alien-style!

Ice Release: Dragon Blizzard. Just a version of the attack seen in the Naruto movie, just using one dragon instead of two.

Nine Dragons of Destruction: Just a little mass destruction attack I thought up. It is also used as a defense in the form of the Nine Guardian Dragons, and as an ultimate destruction attack in the form of the Ten Dragons of Armageddon in which a Hellfire Dragon is the tenth. A LOT of interesting and never-before-seen things will be happening with dragons in this fic, so watch out for that.

I guess that's about it. If I missed anything, please leave it in your review or PM me.


	26. Broken

Hello everyone, I'm back! I got off work early today, so I thought I'd finish up this latest chapter and update.

Sorry about the delay, but lately I've been assaulted by odd ideas for this story, as well as others, that were so out there that they wouldn't have any place in the story. So, I've been thinking of doing a spin-off of this fic called "A Day In The Life". It will be a series of oneshots about a "normal" day in the life of each of the characters in this story, OC or otherwise.

I've been working on Shizaru's a bit as of late, and I've been revising Tamer of the Hazard, as well as starting on the next chapter of that fic.

About this chapter, I'm going to warn you all right now, it has a darker tone than any of the previous chapters, much darker. And it will feature instances of torture that are NOT for the faint of heart. You've been warned, so don't complain about how sick and twisted it is. Though most of you seem to like my brutal style of writing.

Anyway, enjoy the new chapter, and, once again, sorry about the delay!

XXXX

(Naruto's Mindscape)

It was quiet...a bit too quiet. Especially compared to what had been going on just a few minutes earlier.

Nightmare looked at Kyuubi, both of them crouched low behind the cover of a wall that looked like it had been blown apart.

_"...Is he still there?"_ the knight whispered, fear evident in his voice.

Kyuubi held up a finger. **"I can't hear him...Maybe he's gone."** she poked her head out, then immediately ducked back, barely avoiding decapitation by flying Slayer body parts. **"He's still there, and he's still pissed."**

Ever since Naruto had been sent into a forced slumber he'd been like this. Nightmare and Kyuubi had seen everything through his eyes after he ran out of chakra, but had no idea what had happened while he had been fighting as Noctis.

Both demons had been in front of a bigscreen television; the viewing window to the outside world, as seen through Naruto's eyes. They were both sitting on a large couch, popcorn and soda sitting on a coffee table in front of them, cheering Naruto on.

Then everything had gone blank, the screen producing nothing but white noise. Then the images returned, but they showed Naruto looking up at is mother as she was standing on a wall of rapidly evaporating water, staring at the nine elemental dragons baring down on her.

Naruto's vision was suddenly blocked by a cloaked figure that grabbed a hold of his head. Then, taking control of the dragons, the figure forced them to veer off course and into Low Earth Orbit before exploding.

More of the cloaked figures appeared, along with the Sandaime Hokage. One of them started to rattle off orders to the others, and Kushina was taken away while Naruto watched his chance at revenge slip through his fingers.

He was then put into a forced sleep and ended up in his mindscape pissed off beyond all belief. At first he set out to look for Kyuubi and/or Nightmare in order to vent in the form of a fight, but both had been hiding from him, so he started to take it out on his mental defenses.

And this was where both demons found themselves, cowering behind a wall, hiding from a twelve year old! Given, this twelve year old could practically annihilate them at any moment, but he was still a child...Well, that wasn't true either.

They knew this was a very, very delicate situation. They needed to handle this just right, unless they wanted to antagonize the boy further. This was his mind, and they only had power here because he allowed it. If he truly wished to, both demons would be stripped of their power and locked away in some dark dungeon, tortured for the rest of Naruto's life by creatures that only his twisted mind could create.

Both Kyuubi and Nightmare had seen just how _inventive_ the boy was when they watched him create his own monsters to defend his Shadow Realm home. Those monsters were beings that even Kyuubi cringed at. Things that would put the Slayers themselves to shame. They were all highly symbolic, and all represented a part of Naruto, or an event in his life. And, as such, some of them were truly terrifying things to behold.

A dark shadow suddenly loomed over the two demons, causing them to gulp and look back.

Sure enough, they were greeted by the sight of an extremely pissed off Naruto, surrounded by a malevolent purple aura, and eyes glowing red behind his mask.

"You..." he hissed, "I expect a good fight out of you two..." he then held up the head of one of the more powerful Slayers, "These creatures were very disappointing...This is what's left of the only one that was able to cut me...Out of four-hundred of them, only one was up to the task! Kyuubi...Is it a coincidence that the only one able to cut me was one of the ones I personally modified?"

Kyuubi squirmed nervously. Maybe she had made the boy _too_ good at the art of intimidation.

"I..." her voice lost its normal tone, "I'll work on them some more...I've been meaning to do it for a while anyway, but I never got around to it."

Nightmare snorted. _"Well, you weren't exactly too busy to do it, so what was stopping you? Would it have cut into your lounging time?"_ Kyuubi's response was a swift kick in the face, causing the male demon to curse and glare at her. _"Sure, hurt me for telling the truth!"_

"Quiet, you." Kyuubi turned back to Naruto, only to see the tip of the Black Soul between her eyes, also surrounded by a sickly purple aura. A low hum resonated, seemingly from within the blade itself, like it was attempting to mimic Naruto's own growl. Kyuubi could also feel the intense heat radiating from the sword, making her sweat more than she already was.

"Fight me...Both of you." Naruto hissed.

Kyuubi smiled and tried to move the sword away with her finger, but winced when it burned her. "Naruto-koi, don't be so hasty. Why don't you fight one of your Shadow Realm demons?"

"Anything worth fighting isn't complete yet." Naruto growled, he knew she was stalling.

"What about the Corpser? He gave you a good fight last time."

Nightmare just looked between Kyuubi and Naruto, interested to see how the Kitsune was going to try to bullshit her way out of this one. He knew that he should have been out of there a long time ago, but this was just too funny!

But Nightmare's amusement was short-lived, as Naruto had turned that glare on him.

"You're a part of this, too, Nightmare. Both of you, show me what you've got!" the mindscape began to shift and fade, turning from the dungeon-like hallways to a massive arena, complete with cheering fans in the form of Naruto clones, Slayers, and other mental defenses created by Kyuubi.

_"Oh...Shit."_ Nightmare muttered, summoning the Evil Seed.

Kyuubi sighed and summoned her tonfa swords. If it was a fight Naruto wanted, it was a beating he was going to get.

"Very well, Naruto-koi. I'm sorry about this, but if you insist on being so irrational..." she looked into Naruto's glowing orbs with her own and smirked, **"I'll just have to remind you of why I'm the Nine-tailed Demon Lord!"**

Naruto grinned insanely behind his mask. "Excellent." he chuckled, then looked at Nightmare. "And you?"

Nightmare shrugged. _"I haven't handed out a good beating ever since Noctis sang that coconut song, so yeah, I'm game."_

Naruto's grinned widened, if that was even possible, and he chuckled darkly. "You two...are awfully cocky, aren't you?"

Kyuubi and Nightmare shared a small glance, then they both disappeared, intent in ending this with one attack each. Imagine they're surprise when Naruto blocked Nightmare's Evil Seed and caught Kyuubi with a roundhouse kick to the jaw.

"A bit too slow." Naruto delivered a fierce palm thrust to Nightmare's chestplate, causing a dent in the shape of a hand and sending him flying back.

Both demons looked on in shock, what the hell was going on?! Naruto wasn't even on a full-powered Nightmare's level, let alone Kyuubi's! But here he was, already with the upper hand within the first five seconds of the fight.

"I forgot to mention, you're both at my exact level of power right now. Neither of you can overwhelm me, nor can I do the same to you. This is a battle of skill, and that alone will decide the outcome. Come, Kyuubi, Nightmare! Come and see just how well you taught me!"

Kyuubi and Nightmare looked at each other, shrugged, then disappeared again.

Naruto chuckled and followed suit. 'This is gonna be fun!'

(Meanwhile: Uzumaki Complex, Uzu no Kuni)

The three Black Ops ANBU had dropped off Kushina at her home, and she was currently being tended to by her children.

"Mother, what happened?" Kuishiro asked, worry permeating his voice.

"You should have been able to defeat the demon easily!" Kagimi exclaimed.

Kushina hissed in pain as Houshima bandaged her ribs, seven of which were broken during the battle. "He was stronger than I anticipated...Much stronger. I think...I think he was _toying_ with me throughout most of the battle...He didn't get serious until the end, and he almost killed me. If not for Sarutobi-kun's private ANBU squad, I would have been finished." the woman growled at the memory.

Houshima stood up after checking the bandages on last time. "That should do it. But I have to asked, how did he get through your armor? Even my scythe has a hard time cutting through that stuff."

Kushina blinked. "What do you mean? This was impact damage, he never cut through my armor."

Houshima cocked his head to the side. "You mean...you didn't notice?" his eyes widened in fear.

Kushina glared at her son. "Houshima, stop playing games. What's wrong with you?"

"It's not me...it's you." he pointed at her bandages.

Kushina looked down and gasped. Blood was leaking out of dozens of tiny cuts all over her body. Her breasts, abdomen, shoulders, arms, legs, and even her fingers were covered in small cuts!

"These cuts...they're far too clean and miniscule to have been made by a blade as large as the one he had...These were made by Wind Blades. The entire time...he could have killed me. My armor was the only thing that saved my body, but my head was vulnerable...He _was_ toying with me." her eyes rolled back into her head and she fell over, this revelation as well as the stress the battle had put her under taking their tolls.

"MOTHER!" her three children ran to her side.

After a few seconds, Houshima stood up with a sigh. "She's fine, just banged up. She'll be back to normal in a day, two at the most." he stuffed his hands into the pockets of his pants and turned to leave the room.

"Where are you going?" Kagimi asked.

Houshima didn't even break stride. "The demon defeated our mother, and even she acknowledges that. It is much stronger than we gave it credit for, so we much train even harder in order to beat it." he disappeared around the corner.

Kuishiro nodded to himself and also walked towards the door. "We thought we would be ready...I guess we were wrong. We must train...we must get stronger."

Kagimi looked at her mother, who cringed in pain and seemed to be suffering from a nightmare. Oh, if she only knew.

"Kuishiro-nii...Just how strong do we have to be?"

The white-haired boy stopped. "...Until we are strong enough to take on mother...and win." he started walking again.

Kagimi gave her mother a kiss on the forehead and walked after her brother.

"Do you...Do you think we'll be strong enough by the time the Chūnin Exams begin?"

They were then joined by Houshima, who had been waiting for them on the ceiling, for some reason or another.

"I think we can do it." he piped in.

Kuishiro glanced at him. "...What do you really think?"

Houshima glanced back, then walked ahead. "We're walkin' into a Category Five shitstorm, and we ain't walkin' back out."

Kagimi looked at her brothers in shock. "What are you talking about?! How can you be so nonchalant about this?!"

Both boys shrugged. "Like I said, we're not walkin' out of this shitstorm, that's for damn sure. But that's not our job. We're here to make sure that demon doesn't walk out either."

Kuishiro nodded. "It doesn't matter if we die, as long as we take the demon with us, and free our brother's soul, our task is complete."

(Back In Konoha)

Sarutobi plopped down on his chair, letting out a huge sigh, then leaning forward and rubbing his temples.

"I don't know how much more of this I can take. How many Council Members ambushed me with demands of Naruto's head?" he asked his guest.

The Captain of the Ninth Division rubbed his chin under his hood. "I believe it was twelve, sir, most of which were civilians. I still don't understand why you even have a Civilian Council. Or, rather, why you allow them to remain. The Civilian Council deals with things like taxes and trade, the Ninja Council deals with all things military; that was the original plan. Where did you fuck up, Old Man? Maybe when you allowed the civilians to meddle in military affairs? Or maybe when you basically handed complete control of Konoha over to the Council?"

"Enough!" Sarutobi slammed his fist down on the table, cracking the wood. "Enough...I know I screwed up, a lot, but I know there's something I can do to fix it. I just need an excuse to disband the civilian branch of the Council. Without them, things would be so much easier, and I see that now. Danzo wouldn't have nearly as much political power as he does now."

"There's a simple solution to all of your problems, you know that?" the Captain said.

The Hokage looked up. "What's that?"

"Let. Me. Kill. Danzo. He's the _root_ of all of your problems! Him, and that private army of his. While they're nothing compared to the Nine Divisions, they have enough power to be an annoying thorn in your side. And that thorn's leaking poison, destroying everything the previous Hokages worked so hard for from the inside. They're slowly breaking you down, Sarutobi. They can't rise up and remain in the shadows at the same time, so they've got no choice but to bring you down to their level, where they have the homefield advantage.

I know you see it, I'll bet you can even _feel_ it. That sneaking suspicion that just won't go away when you want it to, but disappears right when something bad happens. Then, after all is said and done, it pops back up again, as if to say, 'I told you so'. You need to stop being the Council's bitch, and start being a shinobi! Stop ignoring your instincts! They've kept you alive for this long, so why dismiss them now?"

Sarutobi looked at the Captain, but couldn't bring himself to look him in the eyes. "Have...Have I truly fallen so far?"

"Old Man, as of now, you're little more than a political figurehead. As it stands, you have less power over your village than every other Kage. Even 'Kumo's Coward' has more authority than you."

The old man chuckled bitterly. "You know, for the third time in my life, I have no idea what to do."

"Hm? What were the first two times?"

"I didn't know whether, or not, to kill Orochimaru when I had the chance. And...I didn't know what to do about Naruto after the sealing."

The Captain snorted. "And you made the wrong decision on both occasions. That's another source of your problems, Orochimaru. Fuckin' boy-lover seems to know no bounds when it comes to bullshit and treachery. I may hate that man with every fiber of my being, but I'll admit that he's good. Bastard could sell water to a fish, if you gave him enough time. And that's what you did, you gave him way too much time. And with the kid...I'm going to mimic that nagging little voice in the back of your head and say, 'I told you so'. Anyone with a brainstem would have known to keep something like that a secret! Did yours just take a bathroom break at that moment?

If it did, I can see what happened when it came back. It's gone for ten seconds and you manage to fuck up countless lives in one fell swoop. Naruto's; the families of the people he's been forced to kill; the members of the Council that are on Naruto's side, being forced to attend pointless meetings about the same damned thing every week; Kushina's; even your own life. You just went and fucked it all up."

The Hokage looked at the Captain strangely. "Kushina?"

"You don't know?" the Captain sighed when Sarutobi shook his head. "Figures, you seem to know everything other than what you really should. Minato never told Kushina what he was going to do with their son, he didn't want her to be under any more stress than she already was. So, under the guise of going to find Jiraiya and 'show off' his new son, he took the child to his personal workshop. As you know, we all knew of the Kyuubi's approach about fourteen hours before it came, and Minato worked his ass off to finish the seal in time. Well, he did it, and you know what happened next.

You know Kushina had suffered through a very tough life before she met Minato, and he was her entire world. Without him, she no longer had any reason to exist, but, now that she had a son, she thought she had something. But then you blabbed about Naruto's new status and shattered all of her hopes. Her husband was dead, she believed her son was dead, so now she had nothing. But, she found a new purpose: revenge against the Kyuubi. That is her sole reason for living now, and she's not going to stop until her self-appointed task is complete. If you hadn't said anything, she would never have known, and Naruto could have had a family. Granted, she may have found out by now, but she would have at least seen that her son was still her family."

Sarutobi's eyes widened, then he smashed his head on the table and groaned. "Oh, Kami-sama, how could I have messed up this badly?! Where did I go wrong? When did I become so stupid?!" he looked up at the Captain. "How do you know all of this?"

The man snorted and tapped his temple under his hood. "Remember my bloodline? I can absorb anyone's memories upon contact with their head, as long as their mental defenses are down or weakened. When you went to visit Kushina in the hospital, she was completely exhausted, so her mental defenses were severely weakened. I simply absorbed her memories when you weren't looking. It's my job to know what everyone around me is thinking, even you. And I have even more of her memories, since I stopped her eight years ago when she tried to kill Naruto while she was here to negotiate trade with the newly rejuvenated Uzu no Kuni. What I'm about to tell you isn't pretty, not at all, but it will give you a better understanding of why Kushina is what she is today.

As you know, Kushina stayed in Konoha for two weeks after the sealing, only leaving the hospital for the Yondaime's funeral. After those two weeks she was healed, but wasn't at a hundred percent, or even eighty. She packed up and left, but she was followed by one Uchiha Fugaku. As you may, or may not, know, Fugaku was always unfaithful to his wife, going out and having sex with other women on a nightly basis, sometimes while his wife was still in the house. It just so happened that Kushina had been a target of his for a few years, but he didn't want to risk angering Minato, so he waited. When the Yondaime died, he struck.

After following Kushina until she was near the border, he attacked her, knocked her out, dragged her to a cave, and raped her repeatedly. After that, he left her in that cave, covered in sweat and his fluids, and weeping uncontrollably. Well, this was when she was stumbled upon by a scouting party from the then-allied forces of Iwa and Kumo. They were seeking shelter from the storm that night and found the cave, and Kushina. She was raped by each of them as well, eight in all. They were going to kill her, but something happened. Kushina had no memory of it, so all I got was darkness, then she woke up and was surrounded by mutilated bodies, some of which appeared to have been partially eaten.

She ran all the way to Whirlpool, then collapsed right in front of the gates. She found out two months later that she was pregnant with triplets. She wanted to get rid of them, but, in some odd lapse in judgment, she kept them. When they were born, one female and two males, they somehow all had traits from her rapists. The girl was an Uchiha, while one boy had an unnaturally high Earth alignment, and the other had a Lightning alignment so strong that his body carried a constant charge of some two-thousand volts from the time he was a year old.

Apparently, since the age of two, she's been training them to kill Naruto. When I absorbed her memories the last time, her children were four, and were already stronger than most academy students. The girl had unlocked the first level of her Sharingan, one boy had just mastered the Earth Release: Earth Spike, and the last had increased the charge is body carried from two-thousand the five-thousand volts. I can only imagine how much they've progressed in the last eight years. As for her condition, I can only conclude that the sheer about of mental and physical shock she suffered through has made her demented, deranged...insane." the Captain finished and looked at the Hokage.

Said man had his head bowed, tears flowing down his cheeks. This was his fault, all his fault. But he could fix it now. He knew what he had to do, but he had to wait. Now wasn't the time.

"Captain..." he dried his eyes and looked up at the man before him.

The Captain arose from his seat, a devious smirk hidden beneath his black mask. "I'll be awaiting your orders, Hokage-sama." he then disappeared, just as suddenly as he had appeared before.

Sarutobi's eyes hardened, it was time to get serious. It was time to take charge and remind the entire village, no, the entirety of the Shinobi Nations of just why he was the Sandaime Hokage; why he was known as the God of Shinobi!

'Something's coming...Something...monumental...Something...terr ible.' he gazed out of the window, looking out onto the horizon. Images began to flash before his eyes. A massive army appeared on the horizon, monsters and demons, of all shapes and sizes, making up its ranks. They charged, meeting Konoha's own forces head-on, and slaughtering them within minutes.

The demons wouldn't die! Everytime one was struck down it just rose up and attacked again. Huge, twelve-foot tall, massively muscled behemoths broke through the lines, leaving gaping holes in the ranks for the rest to follow, and proceeded to destroy the village. The battle was lost, but, as if to add insult to injury, armored, vaguely human warriors came down from the sky atop of backs of great winged beasts.

These bat/lizard hybrid creatures each opened their immense maws and began to rain fire down on what remained of Konoha. Fireball upon fireball cascaded down on the ruins of the village until it was little more than a stupendous crater, filled to the brim with molten rock and burning debris.

And, through it all, Sarutobi was forced to watch, having been captured and detained by the creature that used to be Danzo. It seemed as though he had made some kind of deal with a demon. In return for immortality and untold power in the form of a demon, he was to bring them Naruto. For what purpose, neither knew, but who was Danzo to question orders from his new master?

**"Do you see it, **_**Hokage-sama?"**_Danzo cackled in his new demonic voice.

Sarutobi bowed his head in shame and sorrow. "I should have killed you when I had the chance..." he muttered, more to himself than anything.

But Danzo heard him and smirked. He wrapped one of his grotesque tentacles around the Sandaime's neck and hoisted him into the air with incredible ease.

**"Yes, you should have. But it's much too late to mourn over passed-up opportunities, and now is not the time for you to grow a backbone..." **he grinned, revealing his new rows of jagged fangs. **"It will just give me something else to tear out of you!" **he raised the huge scythe-like blade that made up his right arm and prepared to deliver the deathblow. But he was halted by a horrible howl of pain from one of the larger demons of the army. **"What the hell?!"** Danzo flung Sarutobi to the side.

The old man looked up and saw a sight that, normally, would cause him to cower in fear, but now could not be a more welcome sight. One of the giant monsters was on the ground, surrounded by the bodies of other demons, being torn apart by an enormous onigumo. Its horrid wails of agony seemed to only spur the larger demon on, making it tear into its prey with renewed vigor.

The flying beasts began to drop from the sky in a rain of blood, limbs, wings and heads. The riders faired no better, as none came down in less than four pieces. Sarutobi looked up and beheld an awesome sight. The winged demons were being completely dominated by hundreds of dragons and massive ravens.

And there, on the horizon behind the demonic army, was another army, also made of demons. But these creatures were even more twisted than the ones before them. Humanoid monsters with machetes for limbs; flying mouths filled with razor-sharp teeth; all manner of skeletons and zombies, all dressed in dirty and tattered ninja garbs, holding swords, spears, and giant shuriken; and large beasts, somewhat like the demons that had broken through the ranks of Konoha's army like they were simply toppling a line of children's dolls, made up the frontlines.

These demons were led by ten other figures, but that wasn't what was really grabbing everyone's attention. That was the multitude of figures standing atop the heads of the three largest beings in the area.

A huge raven, easily ten times the size of the largest seen before, with four glowing, crimson eyes and a beak full of sharp teeth.

A dragon with two large, curved horns sprouting from either side of its head, and another large spike at the back of its head. Its massive, purple-tinged wings, topped with three large claws, spread out wide enough to have been able encompass all of Konoha.

And the beast in the center was all too familiar to both Sarutobi and Danzo. It was a monstrous fox with unnaturally long ears and nine tails waving angrily being it.

Both Sarutobi and Danzo felt a familiar presence behind them. They turned and saw him; Naruto. He was obviously older, taller, and much stronger. He wore a different mask, one that looked to be able to separate into two parts. The most distinct feature about the new mask was the downright evil grin it sported, made of sharp, interlocking fangs.

His head was bowed, the top half of his mask shadowed by black and blonde bangs, but the three elemental kanji could be seen glowing brightly.

"Danzo..." the man growled out, then looked up, the eyes of his mask glowing an intense red. "Are you happy with your new self? I hope you're very attached to that body. It will make it all the more painful when I tear you to pieces." he held out his hand and, in a swirl of black fire, the Black Soul appeared in his palm. "Let Ojii-san go, this is between us."

Danzo grinned and smacked the former Hokage away. **"You think you can take me, boy?! What a joke! I'll beat you into submission and drag you back to the Master!" **

Naruto snorted. "The only challenge in this battle will be deciding whether to send you back in a body bag...**or a bucket!**" both demons lunged.

And then, just as they were about to clash, the vision ended just as suddenly as it had appeared.

Sarutobi shook his head to clear the cobwebs, then looked back to the horizon, finding it free of demons. He walked over, shakily, and plopped down in his chair, his heart and mind racing.

"That...That was much too vivid and precise to be something random. It was a premonition; a vision of something that will come to pass in the future. I can't let that happen." he leaned back and placed a wrinkled hand on his face. "Danzo must die." he looked over to the shadowed corner of his office. "You have your orders, Captain. I expect you to carry them out flawlessly."

The Captain of the Ninth Division walked out of the shadows, grinning like a madman behind his mask. "When do I strike?"

"Whenever you see fit, just get the job done. Though, I expect to never have to deal with that man after this day, do you understand?"

The Captain kneeled before the Sandaime's desk. "Certainly, Hokage-sama." he chuckled briefly. "It's good to have you back, sir." then he was gone once again.

The Hokage smirked to himself. "It's good to be back, Captain." the God of Shinobi had returned to Konoha, and this time he wasn't going anywhere.

Mihoshi walked through the door seconds later, carrying a scroll, and looking sort of distraught. "Hokage-sama!" she practically screamed.

"What is it? What's wrong?"

"Th-This letter just suddenly appeared on my desk..." she placed scroll on the desk with shaking hands.

"Probably an ANBU in a rush, no big deal." the Sandaime dismissed it.

"But, Hokage-sama, when I tried to pick it up the first time...it shocked me." THAT caught the man's attention.

"Are you certain? Maybe it was just static from your chair. I did advise you against getting that wool monstrosity."

"Sarutobi..." she was serious, she only used his name when she was. "That was almost two minutes ago...and my hand is still numb."

The aged man's eyes widened and he grabbed the scroll. Flipping it over, he saw something that confirmed his suspicions: the official seal of the Yondaime Raikage.

(Cavern of Corruption)

Shizaru kneeled in front of Arcarian's stone, awaiting the task he was called there to carry out.

_**"Shizaru! The time is now! The perfect opportunity has finally arisen, and now you must provide the final push! The hanyou will be mine! I assume you know what to do?"**_

The other demon nodded. _**"Of course, Master."**_

_**"Excellent! Now go, and do NOT fail me! If you do, I will strip you of your powers and cast you back into The Pit!"**_

Shizaru gulped and nodded, then sank into his shadow and left.

(Naruto's Mindscape)

Naruto lay sprawled on the floor, his mask cracked and broken, his head bleeding, his ribs and arms broken, and his head at an odd angle. But he was laughing nonetheless.

Nightmare was sitting against a wall near him, in much the same condition. Dents and gashes all over his armor and the Evil Seed cut in two, but he was also laughing.

The only one standing was Kyuubi, and she was on the verge of collapsing.

The battle had been intense, one for the ages. Naruto had been trained very well by both demons, and was by no means a pushover, even for them. He had even managed to take out Nightmare, and had forced Kyuubi into a stalemate for nearly an hour. But even he ran out of gas at some point, and was overcome when Kyuubi got her second wind. But it had worked, Naruto had worked out most of his anger, and no longer wished to get medieval on the asses of everyone in a five mile radius.

After a good half and hour of laying on the ground, Naruto sat up, fully healed. This was his mind, after all, so he could heal as fast as he wished.

He hopped to his feet and dusted his pants off. "Well," he turned to Kyuubi, who had finally fallen to her knees, "that was fun, wouldn't ya' say?"

Kyuubi glared at the boy and simply hissed in reply, Nightmare groaned in pain.

"Hey, don't get mad at me. You both underestimated me, and that's why I was able to get in so many hits. Even after all the battles you've seen me go through, and all of the opponents that underestimated me and died, you still did it! You have no one to blame but yourselves." he looked around at the destruction their battle had wrought.

The arena was pretty much totaled, dotted with craters and scarred by huge gashes in the floor and walls. The clones that had made up the audience had been killed by stray attacks, and some direct attacks to shut them up.

The environment slowly melted away, shifting into its original dungeon form. Nightmare stalked off to be alone somewhere, possibly to brood and plot ways to get revenge on Naruto, and Kyuubi went to her chambers to sleep, leaving Naruto alone and bored.

He looked to the left, "..." he looked to the right, "..." then stared down the corridor before him, "...What to do, what to do, what to do..." he then walked into the shadowed tunnel, constantly muttering the same three words to himself.

(Outside World, Hospital Room)

Naruto's physical body lay on bed in his personal hospital room, still recuperating from the battle with Kushina. He had no way of knowing about the shadow that was creeping its way across the floor, from the corner, towards him. His cloak began to get agitated, but was quickly silenced by an unknown force.

Shizaru arose from the shadow and towered above Naruto's unmoving body.

He took a moment to gaze at his uncovered face. _**"Almost identical..."**_ he muttered, then he spied something out of place and tilted the boy's head to the side to see the mark Kyuubi had given him.

He smirked under his hood. _**"Such a sly fox you are, Kyuubi-sama. Too bad you'll never be able to outsmart Lord Arcarian."**_ he used his finger to open Naruto's mouth, then leaned down, dissolved into black dust, and flew into it. He needed to get into Naruto's mind without causing him pain, lest he wake up and make the process much more difficult.

(Mindscape)

Naruto stiffened as he felt someone infiltrate his mind. "Son of a bitch!" he ran towards the source of the disturbance. Along the way he met up with both Kyuubi and Nightmare, who had entire platoons of Slayers and Manglers following them.

The came to the corridor in which the intruder had obviously gone down, if the dead Slayers were anything to go by. Kyuubi revived them and had them join the rest, then followed Naruto into the darkness.

Naruto cursed, he knew exactly where they were. This was the tunnel that led to The Door.

Within minutes they arrived had their fears confirmed. A figure clad in all black was standing before the Door. The slight movement of the hood indicated that it was looking at them. Then something strange happened. With a wave of its hand, Naruto's mental defenses disappeared and his two tenants were suddenly chained to a wall.

Naruto growled. "What have you done?!"

The figure looked at him. _**"I have taken over your mind."**_

"How?!"

_**"It is an ability given to me by Lord Arcarian. Be glad that I decided to visit you personally. Another power of mine is the ability to control the mind of any Namikaze, but said mind will most likely be shattered when I leave. This way, your mind remains relatively unaffected by my presence here. That is, unless I will it."**_

"How can you do this? Who the hell are you?!" Naruto demanded, unsheathing the Black Soul.

_**"I go by many names. The Darkness; The Harbinger; The Dark Angel. In the old days, I was known as 'Shadow Claw'...But, my original name is Shizaru...Namikaze Shizaru, founder of the Namikaze clan, and Archdemon General of Arcarian's army."**_ he gave a short, mocking bow.

**"Why do you show your face here?!"** Kyuubi roared as she struggled against her bonds.

_**"You should know that fighting is no use. I control the boy, which means I control your fate now. I've stripped you of your power for the moment, and the same goes for you, too, Nightmare-san. As for why I'm here...Well, actions speak louder than words." **_he grinned evilly under his hood as he looked at Naruto and placed his hand on the handle of the Door. _**"Welcome to Hell's Army, boy!"**_ the tore the door off its hinges, then vanished into thin air, leaving Naruto's mind.

Naruto's eyes widened in fear and he fell to his knees as realization hit him. The worst of his memories were now free to terrorize him, and they were looking to make up for lost time.

They immediately assaulted him and he fell to the ground screaming like a banshee that was being eaten alive by ants.

His entire world flashed from bad memories to worse memories, saving the most horrid for the finale.

He saw himself at four, being beaten in a dark alley by three men. Most of the bones in his body were broken, and he was suffering from massive internal bleeding, but the drunkards weren't done yet. He was found the next morning nearly dead, and leaking blood and semen from his rectum.

The memory flashed again, back to a time when he was still in the orphanage. He had been sleeping when he felt something crawling on his leg. Instinctively, he smacked it, then awoke with a scream at the intense burning pain that followed. Ripping off the covers, he discovered that his bed was covered in small, yellowish-brown scorpions. Later, after a long stay in the hospital, he would be told that they were a species called _Leiurus quinquestriatus_, more commonly known as the "Deathstalker". Apparently, they had been put imported from Suna for the specific purpose as assassinating Naruto.

But that wasn't what made this memory bad. It was the fact that the person who had put them there was the only person Naruto thought was his friend, a woman named Miako Akagi he had met while wandering the village. That marked the first time he had felt the pain of betrayal, as well as the extreme arachnophobia he had as a young child. Aside from spiders and scorpions, he had also been terrified of crabs and lobsters, seeing them as nothing but super-sized scorpions.

The memory flashed once again, this time displaying his worst memory to date.

He saw himself at six years old, running through the streets of Konoha, ignoring everything and everyone, happy as a clam. He was holding a small box, cradling it in his arms like it was the rarest gem in the world.

He ran up to a young woman with light brown hair and tugged on her pant leg to get her attention. The woman looked down and smiled at him.

"Hey, Naru-chan! What's up?" she crouched down and ruffled the little boy's hair.

"Yuki-chan, Yuki-chan, I finally saved up enough to get you a birthday present!" he held up the box, smiling like he had just been told he was going to be the Godaime Hokage.

Yuki looked at the boy in shock. "N-Naruto...You didn't have to do this, you know just spending time with you is good enough for me." she made the mistake of looking into the boy's eyes. "Oh...Alright, I'll take it, but only because you're too cute for my own good!" she took the box, opened it, then gasped at the contents. "Naru-chan..." she pulled out a silver necklace.

She could tell just by the weight and feel that it was real silver, and she marveled at its beauty. A twenty-four inch chain connected to a gorgeous winged dragon, which was curled around a yin-yang symbol. Inscribed on the wings of the great beast, in kanji, were the words, "In my world of darkness" on the right wing, and, "You are my light." on the left.

Yuki bowed her head, her eyes hidden by bangs. "Naruto...I can't accept this."

Naruto's mood was instantly damped. "Aww, why not? The old man at the weapons shop even threw in the rubies for free!"

Yuki looked at the necklace again and, sure enough, the dragon's eyes were small crimson jewels that almost seemed to glow, even in the shade. A lone tear fell from her eye before she enveloped Naruto in a tight embrace.

"I don't deserve you, Naruto." she sobbed.

Naruto returned the hug as best he could. "Don't say that, Yuki-chan. I'm the one that is undeserving." tears began to well up in his own eyes. "Demons are never worthy of kindness." before he could even blink Yuki slapped him across the face and grabbed his shoulders.

"Don't you ever talk about yourself that way again! EVER!" she then hugged him again.

Naruto smiled, ignoring his stinging cheek and the nagging voice in the back of his head, and enjoyed the first loving embrace of his life.

The memory flashed, and it was night now. Naruto was being carried, atop pitchforks impaled into his arms and legs, by an angry mob of villagers to a secluded spot in the slums of Konoha. The farming implements were suddenly ripped from his body and he was thrown to the ground in front of a large, burnt, wooden pole, which was surrounded by firewood.

Before the six year old could even register what was going on, he was tied to the pole with razorwire. He tried to struggle, but only succeeded in causing himself intense pain, much to the pleasure of the mob.

Villagers and shinobi alike took turns stabbing and beating the child with anything they could lay their hands on. At one point a sharpened stick was rammed through his left eye. While pulling it out, with slow twisting motions, the eye was tugged free of the socket, along with a portion of the optic nerve. Blood poured from the hole like a waterfall, and Naruto's screams were quickly silenced by a kunai ripping his neck open.

He should have died from blood loss, shock, and severe body trauma hours ago, but that was the reason the mob was here now. They figured that since he was birthed in the fires of hell, this would be a fitting way to send him back. Let him stew on the irony of the situation.

Naruto was fading fast. He barely see out of his one intact eye, he was dizzy from blood loss, and his brain was swelling at an alarming rate, causing a headache the likes of which even the tortured souls in the bowels of hell didn't experience.

He was then smacked by a Jōnin that had walked up to him, dislocating his jaw.

"Oh no," the Jōnin sneered, "we can't have you passing out on us, demon. You're going to be awake for every second of it!" he popped the boys jaw back into place. "Any last words?"

Naruto stared beyond the man at a pile of ashes at the base of the firewood, or, more specifically, at the blackened skull at the top of said pile. He watched as a woman with bubblegum-pink hair walked over to the pile and reached inside. His eye widened in horror when she pulled out a necklace with a silver dragon at the end of it.

"Ooh, I'll bet my daughter will love this!" the woman said, then gave Naruto an evil smirk before depositing the necklace in her pocket.

"Yuki-chan..." he began to sob and scream, renewing his struggles against the razorwire. It eventually sliced through his wrists, causing him to go lethargic again because of blood loss.

The Jōnin looked at the ashes and smirked. "Yeah, we got her earlier. I'm kinda surprised to see you mourning the loss of your whore." he wiped one of Naruto's tears away with his finger, then licked it off. "Hmm, real tears, that's a nice touch." he grabbed Naruto's head and smashed it back against the pole until he heard the satisfying crack of a shattered skull. "But we won't fall for your tricks, Kitsune." he hissed, giving the boy's head one last smash for good measure.

Naruto was in a universe of pain, but not from his body, or even his shattered skull, the pain he was feeling now was all in his heart. He had never felt anything like this before. It hundreds of times worse than every beating and insult he had ever received combined. It was like there was some kind of monster inside of him that was clawing at his heart, tearing it apart and devouring it bit by agonizing bit. Consuming the organ until there was nothing left but a hollow void that nothing would ever fill. Like a black hole sucking in all emotion and feeling, then obliterating it. The seeds of Darkness were planted once again, for the first time in five millennia.

There was a moment in which nothing existed for Naruto anymore. There was no pain, there was no suffering, there was no anger, no hate, no love, no sorrow. He wasn't even sure he existed anymore. It was just...nothing. Like a physical projection of his heart, of his very soul. An eerie feeling of peace overtook him, the peace of nothingness. The peace of no worries, no obligations, no pain. The peace of no longer existing. It was something he would know only once, for that brief period of time.

The pain suddenly returned and his world of non-existence was shattered, and replaced by a man with red eyes, and the all-consuming flames of hell. He didn't react at first, not truly registering what was happening. But then he tilted his head back and let out a scream that would've made even the devil himself flinch.

A lone ANBU appeared before the mob, ordering them to disperse, then turned and tried to put out the flames. But, as soon as he turned is back, he was swiftly knocked out and carried away by the same man who'd lit the fire.

And not a second too late, as the entire area was then thrown into absolute chaos. Gale-force winds blew through out of nowhere, carrying off some of villagers, who were then sliced to pieces by invisible blades. The fire that burned the child was turned into a swirling vortex that rose to become a massive pillar that seemed to roar like a demonic beast, mimicking the rage and sorrow felt by the one at the center. Fireballs erupted from the apex of the pillar and rained down on the mob, roasting most of the villagers and any ninjas that weren't quick enough to escape.

Those who hadn't escaped, or were still in the process of dying, were then grabbed and torn apart by tentacles that seemed to spawn from their own shadows. Others who tried to run were literally sucked into the ground, into their shadows, then spat back out in a fountain of blood. And yet others were grabbed and dragged into the darkness of nearby houses, never to be seen again.

Then, all at once, it all stopped. The shadows stopped slaughtering people, the wind became almost completely still, and time itself seemed to freeze. No one moved, no one _could_ move. But it was just the calm before the true storm. The pillar of fire collapsed on itself, then blew outwards, creating a monstrous wave of fire, incinerating all in its path.

The memories finally ended when the combined efforts of Kyuubi and Nightmare allowed them to place the door back and weld it shut. But the damage was done, and Naruto would never be the same again. Both demons looked at the twitching, muttering mess that Naruto had become, then at each other. They picked the boy up and took him to Kyuubi's chamber, where she put him on the bed and cradled his head in her lap.

Nightmare looked at Kyuubi. _"This is gonna be bad, isn't it?"_

Kyuubi sighed and looked at the other demon. **"You have No. Fucking. Idea."**

Neither of them heard Naruto's silent mumblings.

"Kill...Kill them all..._Kiiilllll_..."

(Outside World, Hospital Room)

Naruto had been awake for the past three hours, but, at the same time, he wasn't awake. He was in a state of semi-consciousness often attributed to patients suffering from severe mental trauma. A waking coma, if you will. He would still move and speak, but he wouldn't register anything, or respond to the presence of the doctors and nurses that had rushed to his room when they heard his unholy screams.

After the doctors had left, feeling that this was something they couldn't help with until they knew exactly what was going on, Naruto sat up in his bed, mask off, staring at the floor, and muttering to himself.

"Kill them all...Kill..._Kiiiilllll...Kiiiiillll them aaaaalllll..._" he clenched his fists until he cut his palms and blood bubbled up between his fingers.

**"Do you want me to kill them?"** Naruto heard a deep, rumbling voice inside of his head and stiffened.

_"...Yeeessss..."_ the traumatized youth hissed out.

**"Then relinquish control to me, Naruto. Allow me to take over, and I will free you from your torment...No, our torment. We are one and the same, you and I, but there is one major difference between us. You don't have what it takes to kill the roots of our little tree of problems, but I do. Give me control, and I'll make everything alright again."** the voice said in an oddly soothing tone.

Naruto didn't even think about his answers. The voice said it would kill them all because he couldn't.

"...I allow you...complete control." he stiffened again as dark tendrils slowly overtook his now dull blue eyes.

A cruel smirk made its way to his face. "Sleep now, little one, forget all of your problems in your eternal slumber. Noctis will take care of everything...and _everyone_."

He rose an eyebrow when the door to his room opened. "Oh? It seems I have a guest."

A boy around Naruto's age, who looked too much like an Uchiha for anyone's comfort, walked in.

"Namikaze Naruto?" he smiled, but anyone could see it was an awkward, hollow smile, devoid on any kind of emotion. "I've been sent here to give you an invitation." he tossed a letter towards the other boy.

"Naruto" caught the letter, which had one word written on it; ROOT. He looked at the boy, who smiled again and turned to leave, only to have the door slam shut in his face.

The letter in Noctis' hand turned black and caught fire, burning to ashes in his grip, and he smirked evilly.

"You made a mistake coming here, little puppet." he rose to his feet and stalked towards the now terrified ROOT member, the sounds of bones cracking and altering their own shapes accompanied his every step. **"A big fucking mistake."** with only a demonic growl as a warning, he lunged at the other boy.

More screams echoed throughout the hospital, but anyone who cared about him just thought it was Naruto having another fit, and looked on in pity and cursed their own uselessness.

XXXX

And there it is.

I told you all it would be a lot darker than other chapters, and would feature violent torture.

Shizaru's true identity has finally been revealed! I'm surprised more people didn't guess that he was the Namikaze founder, but oh well. I've also put in more on Kushina's past and why her mental state is the way it is. I'm curious to see if you'll all still hate her as much as you do now. I don't know why, but I think this will be amusing.

Noctis has made his return, and is planning to raise hell with his own special brand of ass-kickery. Just how big is the can of whoop-ass he's going to open? You'll have to wait until the next chapter to find out!

Oh, and a virtual cookie to anyone who can tell me who that dragon was, and what game he comes from. Shouldn't be too hard. He will obviously appear later in the story, and plays a vital role. He will also have three other forms, also based on games.

And one last thing. I want you all to look forward to chapter twenty-eight. I'm going to put a little surprise in there, something you've all been dying for. I don't want to give too much away, but, as my friend, Atrumfides, would say, it's going to be EPIC!

Speaking of him, you should swing by and read the story I co-wrote with him, No Rest for the Innocent. It's a fun little piece of literature, and some of the characters in it just might appear in this story, so watch out for them.

As always, if you have any questions about the story, or just writing in general, don't hesitate to ask.

Until next time, my loyal readers!

Jason Out!


	27. Facing Your Inner Demons

Hey, everybody, I'm back with chapter twenty seven!

First off, I must apologize for the absolutely ridiculous delay, which I can honestly say was my longest yet. A severe case of writer's block, and working on several other projects, including Tamer of the Hazard and No Rest for the Innocent, has had left my mind fresh out of ideas for this story. This is the problem with creating an AU world that still follows the canon events fairly closely. The canon stuff is easy, but creating new scenarios that still tie into the canon events, as well as other new events in the future, is a real bitch.

Not too much I can say as of yet, so I'll just get on with the fic.

Enjoy!

XXXX

If only they had known, if only they had checked anyway. Maybe they could have stopped the transformation. But now...Now there was no hope. Noctis had gotten his first taste of the human soul, and he wanted more. A lot more. All they could do was find shelter, and pray that they could survive the maelstrom.

Inside of the surprisingly large hospital room, an equally large beast growled in annoyance. No matter how spacious it was, the room was still cramped for a creature of its size.

It licked its chops, cleaning the blood and flesh from its teeth and reptilian lips. It seemed to look around and take in the morbid beauty of its own "artwork", almost entranced by the swirls and splashes of gore.

Not a single object in the room was untouched by the monster's messy feast. Blood soaked the bed, dripped from the ceiling, ran down the walls, and made the tile floors slick, yet sticky at the same time. Though blood was everywhere, very little flesh escaped the beast.

It heard a pained gasp, making it turn back to its still living prey. It was only half done with its meal.

The former ROOT shinobi, or what was left of him, was propped up against the wall next to what used to be a nightstand, which was now little more than an indistinguishable pile of splintered wood and broken glass from the flower-filled vase that had been sitting on it.

The ninja stared dumbly at where his legs used to be, now just watching blood flow out of him, washing over his exposed intestines and the little speck of white that he could see of his spine. He felt himself nodding off to the blissful world of darkness known as unconsciousness. One arm lifted from floor, seemingly of its own will, and hovered over the fleshy tubes. The hand grabbed one and squeezed it, then dropped it as white-hot pain shot through the remains of the ninja's body, reawakening him. He continued to stare, not understanding just how he was still alive, or why he could still feel pain.

A snort from the creature that had partially devoured him made him flinch, but he didn't look up.

**"Human," **the dragon rumbled, **"you want to know how you're still alive, don't you? Well, the answer is simple; I'm keeping you in the land of the living. You see, my power has a very...corruptive nature. I've been pumping my power into you for a while now. It's taking over your body, forcing it to make more blood, keeping nerve endings alive. I want you to be alive to see and feel the skin and flesh being ripped from your bones! And I want you to be awake as I eat those, as well. You won't die, you won't pass out, you won't go numb until I allow it!" **with an evil, reptilian grin, the dragon bent down and took bite into the ROOT member's arm, then peeled the skin and muscle away, exposing the bone, and ate its prize noisily.

The shinobi could only watch in horror as the dragon continued to eat him alive. He couldn't even scream, whatever was controlling his body wouldn't allow him to. He felt and saw it all. His left arm being devoured, then his right being stripped down by layers, then consumed. He felt the dragon use its claws to pierce his body and hook themselves around his ribcage before tearing it out with one brutal tug. He heard the creature hiss in pleasure at the sight, then jam a third of its muzzle into his body, gradually turning it into a hollow cavity while it ate.

After a few minutes all that was left was a still living skeleton. All that remained was the torso, minus ribcage, intestines, and kidneys. Just the heart, lungs, and brain were untouched. The dragon, bored with its meal now, picked the human, if it could still be called that, and swallowed him whole, not bothering to pulverize him. In a final act of cruelty, he also kept the boy alive as long as he could so he could feel the acid eating away what was left of him. He knew that there would be no real pain, since there was almost nothing still connected to the nerves, and the acid worked fast. He had swallowed the human six seconds ago, and already he could no longer feel him.

**"Hm, humans really DO taste like chicken!"** Noctis laughed, not stopping to contemplate how he knew what chicken tasted like when he had never had it himself. He then looked around the cramped room and growled in annoyance. **"This place is boring...and small. It's time to go."** he whipped his entire body around and rammed the door, destroying it along with the entire section of the wall. **"Freedom!"** he looked down as he heard a feminine scream and saw a nurse cowering in terror. **"And another snack!"** he lunged at the woman, biting her in half before she could even scream again.

Finishing his "snack", Noctis started his bloody rampage through the hospital. He couldn't be stopped...he _wouldn't_ be stopped. He ate everyone he can across, patients, doctors, nurses and orderlies alike. All were torn apart and devoured before they even knew what was happening.

"What the fuck is that thing?!" an orderly asked as he ran alongside Dr. Mirano.

"It's a dragon, what does it look like?" the one-eyed doctor said calmly, side-stepping a flaming human carcass flying towards him from one of the adjacent halls. "I think we found him." he suddenly ducked as a black blur passed over his head.

The orderly wasn't so lucky, as Mirano saw when his headless corpse fell to the floor, spewing more crimson fluid on the already drenched floor.

**"Correction, human, **_**I**_** found**_** you**_**." **Noctis' tail lashed out again, cleaving the stretcher Mirano threw at him in half. He then saw that the man was gone. **"You're a quick little rat, aren't you?"** he grumbled before stomping off to find more victims/snacks.

One of the sections of the ceiling was picked up and moved aside as Mirano poked his head through, then dropped down to the floor and sighed.

"Why can't this demon be like the others and just raid the vending machines when he's hungry?"

"Because he is not like us." Mirano turned to see the demon he knew as Pondera standing behind him, accompanied by the other nine. "Not all demons are evil beings, but that beast is as rotten as they come. Keep your warriors back, we will handle him." he snapped his fingers and all of the demons disappeared.

Mirano needed no prompting, he shot off down the halls, looking for the easiest way to get out of the hospital and to the Hokage, while avoiding the dragon.

'There are times when I think being a doctor is highly overrated.' the master medic grimaced as he heard more screams. He couldn't do a damned thing to help them, he'd just add himself to the bodycount. And, as with all doctors, it was this helplessness that bothered him more than anything.

Noctis growled to himself as he stalked down the blood-soaked halls. At some point in time, probably when he was chasing one of the more crafty humans, he had gotten himself turned around. The blood was interfering with everything. He couldn't smell his prey, the stench of death was too powerful. Blood covered every single surface, and, with his height, he had knocked down every sign indicating where he was going. He felt that he had enough souls, at least from this area, and now he wanted out.

"Well, well, well, it seems our reptilian friend here is lost." a smooth and calm voice called out, causing the dragon to turn.

**"And just who are you?"** Noctis growled, irritated that he hadn't sensed this person sooner.

The man, completely covered by his white robe, let out a chuckle. "Just a demon, like yourself, no one you should concern yourself with, yet."

The dragon took a step towards the other demon. **"Encroaching on my territory, eh? I think I should concern myself with you."** he took another step.

Pondera laughed. "As I said, you needn't concern yourself with this demon...You should be more worried about the one behind you."

Noctis whirled around, only to be sent flying down the hallway due to a giant fist from Reformo. The dragon crashed through the far wall and grunted in pain when a section of the ceiling collapsed on him.

Pondera looked over to his fellow demon and gave him a thumbs up. "Nice haymaker."

_"He's not out of it yet!"_ Vereor launched volleys of fireballs at the downed dragon.

Indeed he wasn't. Noctis rose from the debris, all but ignoring the fireballs.

**"So, the child's little slave demons want to play, is that it?"** he growled, going through Naruto's memories to find the information he needed about the demons. **"You've got the right idea, Boneman, let's play Fire Tag!"** the dragon unleashed a torrent of white-hot flames from its maw, filling the entire hallway with a wave of fire.

Even when faced with something so deadly, the Guardians remained calm. Just before the flames reached them, they were blocked by an invisible wall.

The wave of fire rolled and curled almost as water would, deflected by the barrier and sent crashing over Noctis like a tsunami. But he wasn't effected, not in the least. He just stared through the flames, glaring at the demons before him. From what he knew, none of them could create barriers like this, least of all the ones facing him now.

**'The woman...She looks like a priestess of some sort. This must be her doing.'** Noctis thought.

His suspicions were confirmed when Clementia rose out of the floor and stood in front of the other Guardians, her hand placed on the barrier, strengthening it through direct youki infusion.

Noctis growled low, the sound rumbling from his throat. Just as he was about to charge forward, he felt a sudden small weight on the top of his head. He didn't even have time to think about it before one of Insontis' hooks was rammed through his eye and into his skull.

The dragon roared in pain as its dark red, almost brown blood poured from the wound, which was being torn open even more from his thrashing, since Insontis refused to let go.

But, with an especially violent shake of his head, Noctis finally dislodged his passenger and sent the cherub demon flying into the barrier with incredible force, actually causing part of the wall to become visible and crack.

"Shit!" Clementia moved her hand over the crack to repair it, but it was too late, Noctis now knew that he could break the barrier, and that's exactly what he was going to do.

With an enraged roar, the demonic dragon charged forward faster than any of the Guardians expected and smashed right through the barrier like it was nothing.

Pondera had pulled Clementia out of the way at the last second with one of his chains, but took a vicious headbutt in the process, and was knocked through the door to the room behind him, and almost through the wall opposite the door.

Reformo, as well as the newly arrived Morium, held the monster back, keeping it from doing any more damage.

Noctis' good eye widened at his predicament. He knew the shark demon was strong, but damn!

Reformo held the head while Morium took out one of the legs with a powerful swipe of his tail. The sharkman then slammed the dragon's head into the walls on either side repeatedly. Blood and broken teeth flew all around as the dragon was manhandled by Reformo, then a solid punch from Morium broke its jaw before the crocman took over the head bashing and slammed it into the wall one final time and held it there.

Noctis was knocked for a loop, that was for sure. He could barely even register what was going on! All he knew was that he was being absolutely dominated by, what he considered, lesser demons, and he couldn't have that. But there wasn't much he could do about it at the time, they just wouldn't let up on him! He needed more power to take them down, more food, more souls! But first, he had to get out of the building, and away from these "Guardians", as he knew them. Any remaining thoughts were shattered when he was again decked by Reformo and his head sent through the wall and bending around it until it did a complete one-eighty.

Morium and Reformo stepped back and admired their work. The once "mighty" demon dragon now nothing but a twitching mess laying on the floor with a broken neck.

Both Guardians looked back at their comrades and signaled that all was okay, then whipped around when something caught their eyes.

The body had moved. It wasn't just a little twitch, either, it was a violent jerk, like it was trying to pull its head from the wall. But that was impossible, right? It was dead! The only think keeping its head attached to its body was skin and muscle!

But wait, hadn't Naruto himself survived multiple broken necks with no ill effects?

Neither demon had time to ponder, however, as the huge head of the dragon whipped around and smashed both of them through the wall behind them.

Noctis growled, furious that his power had been drained so much by these lesser beings. Now he really needed more souls; he had to regain his power. Nothing would stop him from completing his mission, least of all these slaves! As his body healed, he arose, his head still handing limply. Then it snapped back up as the skull was reattached to the spine.

He felt a sharp pain in his side and looked over to see Clementia, whose right hand had turned into five, foot long blades, repeatedly stabbing and slashing at his gut and ribs. He attacks weren't doing much to the dragon's armored hide, as she lacked the physical strength to do much damage to him. Using his tail, Noctis wrapped the other demon in a crushing embrace, then tossed her forward, causing her to crash into Pondera, who was just emerging from the room he had been smashed into.

Snarling in contempt, Noctis began to walk forward, intent on creating an exit out of the building. Flames shot from between his repaired teeth as he charged a fireball in his throat. This fireball was then accidentally released into the ceiling when he opened his maw to, once again, roar in pain as he felt the Achilles tendon in his left leg sliced in two. The fireball, even though it wasn't as powerful as he'd wanted it to be, and it had missed the intended target, still did its job, and Noctis could see the sky through the gigantic hole. All he had to do was jump out, spread his wings, and he'd be free to dish out his own special brand of "punishment". But that was easier said than done, since he found himself teetering over and crashing to the floor.

He looked back to see the samurai demon, Veneratio, he believed his name was, sheathing his sword.

**"Pitiful worm!"** Noctis lashed out with his tail, which was skillfully parried by the samurai.

"You call me pitiful, yet I am the one that is still standing." the demon jumped over the dragon's body and landed on its head, then unsheathed his sword again and prepared to plunge it into the dragon's brain.

Noctis growled in annoyance and used his arms to lift his body and smashed his head into the ceiling, sandwiching Veneratio between it and his skull. He did this several more times until the ceiling finally gave way and fell in, showering both demons with debris and sparks from severed wires.

Veneratio, dazed and disoriented, dropped his blade and slid off of the dragon's head, only to be caught in its jaws and feel its teeth penetrate his armor like it was nothing.

Noctis rose from the floor, his leg healed, now intent on shearing the lesser demon in his mouth in half with a few good shakes of his head. But his plans were, once again, thwarted, this time by a rather large fireball hitting him in the face. He dropped Veneratio and turned to the one who dared to use his own element against him; the skeleton demon, Vereor.

**"Persistent little parasites, aren't you?"** Noctis snorted, a plume of black smoke shooting from his nostrils.

The wall to the dragon's right exploded, scattering debris everywhere and kicking up enough dust to block everyone's view. There was a surprised and pained roar from the dragon and the sound of another wall being destroyed, shower the area with more dust and debris.

**"You seem to have forgotten about us."** came Reformo's distinctly deep voice.

"It's been a while since we've done that." Morium said as they walked out of the dust cloud.

Pondera and Clementia walked out of the room that had been thrown into, both more than a little pissed off.

Vereor cocked his head to the side. _"And just what were you two doing in there?"_ he teased, but was silenced by a glare from Pondera.

"And just where were all of you?!" the leading Guardian glared at all of the demon's present, including the now revived Insontis, and the newly arrived Fragilitas and Ignotus. "I thought I would at least be able to count on you, Fragilitas."

The trenchcoat-clad demon hung his head, then looked at Ignotus.

"We were setting up traps in the area near the exit, knowing that the reptile would come that way. How were we supposed to know it would be stupid enough to get lost?" the short demon shrugged. "Besides, it was taking this guy" he jerked a thumb in Fragilitas' direction, "forever to get those traps done!"

The aforementioned demon's head slowly turned to Ignotus and one of his wrist blades shot out from under the sleeves of his coat. But he made the mistake of making eye-contact with the shorter demon.

"What has scales, teeth, and wings, and is waking up right now?"

Fragilitas cocked his head slightly, then turned to one of the many huge holes in the wall.

"That's right." Ignotus chuckled as he also turned to it.

_'How are they defeating me?!'_ Noctis raged. _'Even with their numbers, I am the superior being!'_ in his rage, he began to gather his remaining power, drawing upon the reserves of the Soul Edge itself. He could feel himself changing into a more powerful form, something that would enable him to finally accomplish his task.

(Mindscape)

Nightmare suddenly stiffened and his eyes went wide. _"Oh no..."_

Kyuubi, who was still trying to comfort Naruto, looked at the other demon. **"What's wrong?"**

_"Can't you feel it?!"_ Nightmare all but screamed, causing even Naruto to look at him. _"I think the Guardians are about to lose."_

**"So...then it will be up to the humans..." **Kyuubi sighed and looked at Naruto, who was still staring blankly at Nightmare. How long had it been since she'd last saw him blink? **"Human involvement in demonic affairs is never a good thing...Naruto..." **the boy's eyes darted to her. **"You have to take control back from Noctis, he's just going to cause you more pain."**

"No..." Naruto mumbled. "He said...that he'd take care of...everything..."

**"And everyONE! Is that what you want, for them all to die?!"**

"...Yes..."

**"What about Mitara, Inaro, and Isaro? What about Mirano and the Sandaime? What about Teuchi and Ayame? What about Anko and Hinata? What about Kurohane, Chigusa, Kiriko, Haku, and Zabuza? Do you want all of them to die as well?"**

That struck a nerve. "He...wouldn't do that...He said he would take care of my..._our_ problems...they aren't problems."

Nightmare growled in annoyance and snatched Naruto into the air, ignoring Kyuubi's protests.

_"Don't you get it?! He thinks that they are the biggest problems of all! They're going to be the first ones he takes out! He already tried to kill Mirano, and, if he's doing what I think he is, he's going to go after the rest of them!"_

Naruto's right eye twitched, the only indication that he had heard anything, and looked at Nightmare with a vacant stare.

The armored demon had to stop himself from shuddering at the look. Even corpses didn't look that lifeless. He dropped the boy, and was surprised when he landed on his feet. Even more surprised when he walked passed him, though it was more like shambling.

Kyuubi got up and glared at Nightmare. **"Now see what you've done? No telling what he'll do in this state! It's too dangerous to let him wander like that!" **she made to go after him, but was stopped by Nightmare's deformed right arm.

_"No. We can use this to our advantage. Kyuubi, I assume that you are in charge of this place now that Naruto's out of action at the moment?"_ Kyuubi nodded. _"Sit that boy down in front of that television. Let him see the havoc that his decision has wrought. Hopefully he'll snap out of it before someone important gets slaughtered."_

Kyuubi ran after Naruto, easily catching up to him and carrying him off, Nightmare following behind slowly.

Naruto was tossed onto the couch and forced to look at the blank television screen before him. In response to this, he simply cocked his head to the side.

**"We thought you'd like to see just what you've done. So, just sit back, relax, and wake the fuck up before your friends are turned into dragon food!"** Kyuubi snarled as she turned the TV on and tossed the remote into Naruto's lap.

(Outside World)

Noctis laughed insanely as he felt the immense power of the Soul Edge coursing through his body.

**"Yes, this is it! This is the kind of power I wanted, and now it's finally mine!" **the Guardians were blown back by the shockwave, and the surrounding walls and medical equipment were annihilated as Noctis' body literally exploded.

Outside of the hospital, citizens and shinobi of Konoha alike stared at the tower of purple light that shot through the roof of the building. There expressions a mix of terror and awe. It was a beautiful spectacle, sure, but the sheer amount of evil, malicious intent it gave off was enough to bring even the strongest men to their knees.

(Hokage's Office)

Mirano had just finished explaining the situation to the Sandaime, who slammed his head into his desk with a heavy sigh, muttering about being way too old to be dealing with things like this on a seemingly daily basis.

Then they felt it. The surge of demonic power coming from the hospital. This power...it was worse than the Kyuubi...so much worse. Kyuubi's youki gave of intense feelings of hatred and rage, but this...this was like every single negative emotion all rolled into a never-ending wave of evil intentions.

Only one word could really describe just what this was: apocalyptic.

"Sarutobi..." Mirano trailed off.

"I know...don't send any shinobi." the Hokage had to agree. Without someone like Minato around, all that could stop this demon was another demon...or ten.

"Glad you see things our way." the semi-monotonous voice of Affectus seemed to echo in the silence of the office as the demonic ninja released the cloaking technique he had been using and leaned against the wall behind the Sandaime.

"You...You're one of Naruto's demons. 'Affectus', I believe you called yourself." Mirano eyed the demon warily. Nevermind the fact that he was a demon, if he had the skill to be that close, yet still avoid detection from both the Hokage and himself, he was someone to watch out for.

The demon nodded. "That is correct. I was sent to follow you and make sure you told the leader of this village not to send any of your human shinobi. When humans meddle in demonic affairs, no good ever comes of it. This is a final warning, stay back. If any of your warriors attempt to combat the dragon, their blood will be on your hands, not ours." and, with that, Affectus was gone, intent on making it back to the hospital to aid his fellow Guardians.

"...So, what now?" Mirano asked.

Sarutobi sighed for what had to be the hundredth time that day alone. "Simple; we keep the Council from doing what it does best: further complicating an already complex situation." he rose from his seat and walked out of his office, the doctor following closely.

(Hospital)

Pondera was the first Guardian to awaken after they were all knocked out by the shockwave. He cleared the section of ceiling that had fallen on him and stood up.

He looked down to see Clementia, Insontis, and Morium laying next to him in an indignant heap on the floor. "Are you alright?" he poked them with his boot, but got no response. "Shit. Well, at least they're still alive." he looked back to the reason for them all being unconscious in the first place.

The dragon was no more. In its place, a glowing orb of purple and black energy. It didn't move, it didn't roll, it just sat there and pulsed every few seconds.

Pondera stalked closer to the orb, cautiously stepping over and around medical equipment and chunks drywall and concrete.

The closer to got, the more strange the orb became. It was obvious that it was made of some kind of energy, but it gave off very little of that energy. All of it was going into something within the orb; the demon they had been fighting.

"What are you doing in there?" Pondera asked, though it was more of a question to himself than the other demon.

Now he was standing right next to it, and he could still barely feel anything from it. His first instinct was to poke it, then dart behind a wall. But he had no idea what would happen if he did, so he decided against it, pulling his finger back when it was just an inch from the orb.

"Maybe Ignotus knows." he muttered, but as soon as he turned to look, the orb shuddered, then cracked. And from that tiny crack, poured the most vile energy Pondera had ever felt. Nothing, demon or human, compared to this, nothing at all. Malice, rage, sorrow, hatred, and all of their variants, combined into a wave that smashed into Pondera and sent him to his knees.

Something began to pound on the orb from the inside, trying to break out. As the crack got larger, and more spider-webbed from it, the hits became more frequent, more urgent. Whatever it was, it wanted out.

A terrifying roar tore through the air as the creature within the orb was finally freed with on final strike. The remaining energy burst outward in the form of a large dome that destroyed everything around it, taking out a large chunk of the hospital and creating a massive hole in the ceiling, which the creature flew through and escaped before Pondera could get a good look at it. Hell, he could barely see anything, as his vision was blurring from the beating he had taken from the energy discharge.

'Dammit!...Kyuubi-sama, we have failed.' Were Pondera's last thoughts before he collapsed and faded away, along with the other Guardians, returning to their pocket dimension to heal until they were called upon again.

(Mindscape)

Kyuubi cursed as she received the mental message from Pondera.

**"They couldn't stop Noctis."** she growled out her answer to Nightmare's silent question.

The demon knight simply nodded, not all too surprised. _"Noctis may be a little punk of a demon, but he's pretty damn strong, and knows how to pick his spots. He's an opportunist, just like all of us, and we gave him an opening."_ Nightmare spared a glance at Naruto, who was still sitting on the couch and staring blankly at the TV screen. _'Is someone gonna have to die before you finally get it, kid?'_ he sighed in exasperation.

(Outside World)

Noctis felt great! No, beyond great! There really wasn't a word that could describe what he felt like right now. Soaring through the air in his new body, feeling unlimited power coursing through him. He had Naruto's power, he had Kyuubi's power, he had the Soul Edge's power, all at his disposal! He was unstoppable now!

**"Now, to find the first victims...Oh, how delightful, they're all together!" **he cackled madly when he felt the chakra signatures of all but five of the top humans on his hit list. Judging from the frequent chakra spikes and their depleting reserves, they were all training together, which meant that they would be tired when he arrived, making them easy pickings. He laughed some more, they were making this way too easy!

(Forest of Death)

"I thought you were one of the Seven Swordsmen of the Mist? What's up with the weakness?!" Anko taunted as she flipped away from Zabuza's massive blade.

"Ever heard of a distraction?" Zabuza smirked under his bandages.

Anko's eyes widened as she turned, just in time to block the heel of Kurohane's boot with her cheek. The purple-haired woman was send spiraling to the ground, where Zabuza was laying in wait with a positively evil grin plastered on his face, which was easy to make out, even with the bandages.

Just as Zabuza prepared to smack Anko with the flat of his zanbatō and end the battle, he suddenly had to use it for other purposes, like deflecting the spear flying at his head.

"Shit!" the newly instated Konoha Jōnin cursed as the spear bounced off of the Kubikiribōchō. While turning to block it, he had left himself open to an attack from Anko. But she was the least of his worries at the moment, as Hinata suddenly appeared crouching below him with her daggers out.

"Rising Dragon!" Hinata called as she shot up under Zabuza's guard and spun rapidly, almost like the Kaiten, and nailed the man right in the chin with a drilling uppercut, sending him airborne.

"Now, Haku!" Anko shouted as she tried to fend off Kurohane, who had intercepted her attempt at attacking Zabuza.

Zabuza looked over to his left and twitched a bit as he saw a dragon made completely out of water charging towards him.

"Oh, this is bullshi-!" he didn't even get to finish his complaint before he was swept away and smashed into a tree.

"Nice one!" Anko called after she kicked Kurohane away. She was then blindsided by a large ball of blue fire.

"Are you alright, No Brow?" Seizonsha, who was covered in her blue foxfire, asked the Jōnin.

Zabuza twitched. "Dammit, I told you not to call me that!"

"That's why she does it, No Brow." Kurohane appeared next to Zabuza and Seizonsha.

Zabuza glared at the summon. "Shut it, Virgin!" Kurohane immediately quieted down.

"Oh, would you two cut it out?" Kiriko dropped down from a high tree limb and landed in between Zabuza and Kurohane.

Now their team was complete.

While visiting Naruto in the hospital, Anko, Hinata, Zabuza, Kurohane, Chigusa, Kiriko, Haku, and Seizonsha had all run into each other. Both groups questioned the other's reasons for visiting Naruto, and found that they all had some kind of special connection to the boy. Anko had suggested they all have a "friendly spar" because she wanted to see if Zabuza, Kiriko, Chigusa, and Haku truly deserved the ranks they had been given. Zabuza was made a Jōnin, while the three ladies were made Chūnin. Kurohane was given the option of becoming a shinobi, but declined, saying that it was her job to stay by Naruto, and becoming a ninja would send her away on missions that would compromise her current one.

The trip to the training ground had been an amusing one, for Zabuza and Anko, at least. The tension between Hinata, Haku, and Kurohane was more than obvious. One could almost see bolts of lightning flying between them, not counting the ones Kiriko kept using to break them up.

When they made it, they decided to split up into two teams. Team one consisted of Anko, Hinata, Haku, and Chigusa. Team two; Zabuza, Kurohane, Kiriko, and Seizonsha. At first, Zabuza protested the idea of the little hanyou fox being on his team, but when the kit's chakra levels spiked to that of mid-Chūnin and blue flames engulfed her body, the swordsman shut his mouth. He didn't want to have his pants set on fire again.

The teams lined up and stared each other down, though Hinata found herself hard-pressed to even try to intimidate something as cute as Seizonsha, not that she really could. Sure, she was being trained by Naruto and Anko, true masters of intimidation, but they were naturally scary, she wasn't. Hinata, instead, found herself wanting to back away from the small Kitsune. Apparently, Seizonsha picked up part of her "brother's" traits, just enough to make her terrifying in Hinata's eyes.

Then the team battle broke out, which leads us to the current situation. Six exhausted humans, one panting summon, and a half-demon fox on the verge of collapsing. But they had done what they'd set out to do. They'd gauged each other's power levels and were all satisfied that each combatant truly deserved their ranks, and that Hinata and Seizonsha could handle being Naruto's students.

Anko sat on a stump with a huge grin on her face. "Whoo! That was awesome! I haven't had a fight like that in ages!"

Zabuza chuckled from his place under the shade of a tree that hadn't been destroyed or uprooted. "Same here. Last one to give me a good fight was...Naruto." he thought back to their time as enemies in Nami no Kuni.

Everyone nodded at this. That was another thing they had in common, some of their toughest battles had been simple spars with Naruto. But sparring with Naruto could be more dangerous than fighting a Kage if you weren't careful. He tended to get a bit...carried away when he really got into the fight. And each of them had the wounds to prove it.

Except Hinata and Seizonsha, who were asleep under a tree. They usually passed out before Naruto could land any good hits.

The other six warriors looked up as a shadow passed over head.

"What the hell is that?" Anko put a hand over her eyes to block out the sun.

"Don't know, but it was way too big to be a messenger bird." Zabuza slowly grabbed the handle of his zanbatō.

Chigusa moved over to Hinata and poked her. "Hey, wake up, something's wrong." she whispered.

Hinata cracked one eye open and looked at the woman, then yawned tiredly, prompting Seizonsha to do the same.

"What's up?" the Hyūga rubbed the sleep from her eyes.

Chigusa shrugged. "That's the problem, we don't know." she pointed up at the large animal flying overhead.

Hinata looked up and activated her Byakugan, then screamed in pain and turned away, having been temporarily blinded by the creature's power.

"Hinata!" Anko called out to her student, then growled and looked up while flying through handseals for the Fire Dragon Flame Missile. "Fuck it, I don't know what it is, and I don't care, I'm frying it!" she breathed out a stream of bright orange flames that took the shape of a dragon and surged into the air towards its target.

Up above, Noctis laughed at the human's futile attack. **"You think that can stop me?! Foolish humans!" **reptilian lips pulled back to reveal rows of blade-like fangs. The creature opened its maw slightly, charging its attack. Small bolts of red electricity jumped from the point of each fang, and crimson youki began to swirl and compact inside of its mouth, forming into a ball. Noctis closed his mouth, crushing the ball and keeping the energy confined inside of him. He reared his head back, then flung it forward will opening his mouth, unleashing a beam of pure concentrated youki down on the unfortunate humans.

The beam tore through the dragon like it was nothing and slammed into the ground in the center of the clearing, obliterating everything, from the ground, to the trees.

(Mindscape)

Naruto continued to stare blankly at the screen, then blinked when he saw eight little black dots in the middle of the forest Noctis was flying over. The view then zoomed in on the dots, revealing them to be Naruto's friends.

He blinked again. "...What are they doing there?" he asked himself, then grimaced as he felt a freezing sensation in the pit of his stomach, like he had just swallowed an ice cube.

Nightmare, who was standing behind the couch next to Kyuubi, sighed. _"You still don't get it. Just keep watching."_

The screen suddenly turned red as Noctis charged his attack after laughing at the flaming dragon coming towards him.

Naruto's eyes widened. "What is he doing?" he asked urgently, this time not to himself, but to anyone who had the answer.

**"Exactly what he said he was going to do...Exactly what you wanted."** Kyuubi's words came with a harsh edge that made Naruto involuntarily flinch.

"But...he never said he'd kill them..." Naruto muttered to himself.

_"Dammit, how dense are you?!"_ Nightmare roared, having had enough of Naruto's foolishness. _"He said he was going to 'take care' of EVERYONE! Not just those that have done you wrong, but those he believes will only cause you more pain in the future. Sarutobi, Mirano, Mitara, Inaro, Isaro, Anko, Hinata, Zabuza, Chigusa, Kiriko, Haku, Seizonsha, Ayame, Teuchi, EVERYONE is going to die because of YOU!"_ he grabbed Naruto's head and forced him closer to the screen. _"Look at it! Don't you dare turn away! This is your fault, your doing! Watch...You can feel it, can't you? You understand now, but it's too little, too late. All you can do now is sit back and observe as everyone you've ever fucking cared about is torn apart and blown to pieces right before your eyes! Eight down, seven to go."_ he let go of the boy's head and shoved him towards the TV, where he fell to his knees before it. _"I truly thought that you would be the one to finally master the Soul Edge, but now I know you're as pathetic as the rest. You've become just another puppet to its will because you decided to take the easy way out. Now you will see what the easy way will get you in the end! So watch...Watch the destruction, watch the death, watch the pain, and know what it's all your fault."_ the demon knight walked out of the room with a snort.

Kyuubi watched the other demon go and briefly made eye-contact with him, then turned to Naruto. **"Also know that neither of us hold any sympathy or pity for you. And...I hold no love for **_**you**_**."**

Naruto turned to Kyuubi. "What?" he could barely believe what he was hearing.

Kyuubi growled, took hold of Naruto's armored vest, and hauled him into the air. **"**_**You**_** are not the boy I trained for six years! **_**You**_** are not the boy I took so much pride! **_**You**_** are not the boy that made the Soul Edge acknowledge him as its master! **_**You**_** are not the boy that gained the respect of the Demon of the Mist! **_**You**_** are not the boy that nearly destroyed a woman on par with a Kage! **_**You**_** are not the boy to commands the shadows themselves! **_**You**_** are not the boy to whom I gave my mark! **_**You**_** are not the **_**man**_** I made love to! **_**You **_**are not my mate! **_**You**_** are NOT Naruto!" **she switched her grip to his throat and squeezed. **"You are nothing but an imposter, and you make me sick. Bring him back...Bring back the one that holds my heart! Bring back the only one that has the power to save the ones he cares for! Bring back Naruto! The real Naruto...**_**My**_** Naruto." **she dropped him to the floor as tears ran down her cheeks and she walked off to her chamber, where she wouldn't be bothered.

Naruto simply sat there, staring after Kyuubi, completely numb to the word around him. He felt something on his cheek and wiped it away with his finger. It was wet...it was a tear.

"I'm...crying..." he muttered, then slowly turned back to the TV, just in time to see the beam hit the ground and blow everything to oblivion. Trees in the immediate area were incinerated by the blast, ones further away were ripped from the ground and flung thousands of feet away, and further still trees were toppled like dominos from the sheer force of the explosion.

He slowly placed his shaking hands on the screen and leaned his head against it, looking down with wide, horrified eyes.

There was no way anything could have survived that, let alone humans.

'They're gone...'

He wasn't even sure if he could survive something like that.

'Anko, Hinata, Haku, Kurohane, Zabuza, Kiriko, Chigusa, Seizonsha...'

Images of happier times accompanied their names as he thought of them.

'All of them...'

Like a movie, the scenes played. The smiles were wiped from each of their faces as they looked up, their expressions turning from joy to terror in an instant.

'Gone...'

Then, just like that, they were all gone, burned away in a wave of demonic energy. Nothing remained, now charred skeletons, no ash, just a giant smoking crater.

"I'm sorry..." Naruto, for the first time in his life, wept. "So...so sorry..." he suddenly stopped and let a smirk grace his features. "No...they aren't dead. I know them better than that. This pathetic little puppet could never kill them!" he started to chuckle. The chuckling soon caused his whole body to shake, then he threw back his head and laughed like a madman. "What am I doing?! This isn't me, this isn't Naruto!" he stood up and punted the TV across the room, laughing as it shattered against the wall. "Fuck this, I've got friends to save!" he looked back down the corridor Kyuubi had gone. "But first..."

(Kyuubi's Chamber)

This was a sight that no one, human, demon, or God could say they'd ever seen before. The mightiest of the Tailed Demon Lords, Kyuubi no Kitsune, weeping to her heart's content. She was laying on her bed, clutching something to her chest and muttering to herself.

"Naruto...Please, come back, Naruto..." she brought the object she was holding up to her eyes, revealing it to be Naruto's mask. It was all she had left of the Naruto she loved, the mask that he wore at all times in the outside world. She held it close to her heart again and curled into a ball on her bed, drifting off into a depressed slumber, pleading for her mate to return to her.

She never noticed Naruto walk into her chamber. She never saw him kneel by her side, never feeling run his hand gently across her cheek, or lay a soft kiss on her forehead. But, while she never noticed him taking his mask and leaving, she smiled as her dreams turned from solemn to joyous.

Naruto stood outside of Kyuubi's chamber with a rare smile on his face as he stared at his mask.

"I think it's time...that we showed everyone what we can really do."

The elemental kanji that adorned the mask glowed their respective colors: Darkness, purple; Fire, orange; and Wind, white.

With a chuckle, Naruto put on the mask, feeling the comforting weight and the slight sucking sound of the mask attaching itself to his face with his own chakra.

_"So, you finally get it now."_ Naruto looked over to see Nightmare leaning against the wall a few feet from him.

"Yeah, I get it." Naruto replied.

_"Then what are you waiting for? Go out there and show Noctis exactly what happens to those that cross the master of the Soul Edge!"_

Both demon and hanyou cackled deviously before Naruto disappeared.

(Outside World)

Noctis reveled in the destruction his one attack had caused. It was beautiful! Nothing could have stood against that, let alone mere humans! And it wasn't even a full-powered attack!

**"This...This is what true power feels like!"** he laughed as he flew down to ground zero, landing with a loud boom as his weight cracked the earth.

He looked around to survey the damage more closely, but growled when he felt the life-force of eight beings around him. How the hell were they still alive?! With a frustrated roar, Noctis walked over to the closest ones and lifted the tree that had shielded them, tossing it aside with ease. Under it he found two unconscious life forms, both half-demons, though only one had awakened their demonic blood. A small fox kit and an indigo-haired girl.

**"...****Hyūga**** Hinata...and Seizonsha...Naruto's 'top students'...Lucky me."** the beast growled, causing the two to awaken.

"Ugh..." Hinata groaned, "What happened?" she opened her eyes, only to be greeted by the sight of a creature more terrifying than any she had ever seen before, including the Corpser.

It was huge, easily topping twelve feet in height and weighing hundreds of pounds, probably more than a ton judging from its sheer mass. Its body was encased in a boney armor that looked like an exoskeleton of sorts with dark red, almost brown scales covering everything the armor didn't. Its massive, four-clawed talons/hands looked like they could easily wrap around a human skull, and the strength it had already displayed showed that crushing said skull would be easier that crumpling a soda can for this monster. Hinata could see a long tail, covered in segmented boney armor that made it look like a spinal cord, waving behind the creature, tipped with a deadly, sickle-like barb. Two huge wings were folded against its back, but they weren't normal wings by any means. They were configured like bat wings, but were just bare bone with a membrane made of purple energy spread out between each finger. But the head was the most terrifying part of the demon. It looked eerily similar to the dragon Naruto had turned himself into during Hinata's last mission with him, though it only had four eyes, not twenty or so. It was encased in something resembling a helmet, made out of the same material as its armor, with two forward-curving horns, like a bull's, on either side of its head just behind its back pair of eyes.

But Hinata's attention was drawn more to the twisted, reptilian grin that the creatures sported. Or, more accurately, the fangs that were put on full display by said grin. Each tooth was sharper than almost any blade, and tougher than most metals, able to pierce and shred anything that was caught in the deadly grip of its jaws.

Before she could even scream, the creature pinned her to the ground with one of its massive taloned hands, which easily wrapped around her whole body, and seized Seizonsha with the other.

The kit yelped as she was plucked from the ground and held in the iron grip of the demon. Her body burst into blue flames, hoping to make the beast drop her, but all she received for her efforts was a cruel squeeze and equally cruel laughter.

**"Aww, isn't that cute. The little hanyou Kitsune thinks her little lightshow will help her." **Noctis cackled, a noise that was made all the more horrible by his deep voice and the throaty growl that accompanied his every word. **"I'm going to enjoy hearing your bones snap like twigs." **Noctis began to slowly crush Seizonsha, growling in pleasure from her pained howls.

"Stop it, you're killing her!" Hinata pleaded, still pinned by the demon's other hand.

**"That's the idea! Now, shut up and wait your turn." **Noctis put more pressure on Hinata, nearly squashing her and cracking the ground beneath her.

He suddenly stopped, dropping Seizonsha and lifting his talon from Hinata to clutch his own head. Roaring furiously, he stumbled around, lashing out at any and everything.

Hinata had the sense to crawl over to an unconscious Seizonsha, then silently slink away to avoid further harm while looking for the others.

**"No, you can't! You aren't fit for control!" **Noctis roared, smashing his head against a tree, lodging his horns inside of it. They were easily freed with a single shake of his head, splintering part of the trunk.

"Too bad, I'm taking my body back anyway!" Naruto's voice laughed within Noctis' head as he kept pounding away at the barrier that was keeping him trapped within the demon, giving him one hell of a headache in the process.

**"You want out so badly?! Fine, I'll leave you to deal with the aftermath by yourself! Say goodbye to Konohagakure!"** Noctis spread his wings and took flight.

"I don't think so." this time it wasn't Naruto's voice.

Noctis' ascent was suddenly halted and he was brought to the ground, HARD. Picking himself up out of the crater, he looked back and saw that his right leg had a large chain wrapped around it. He followed the chain back to its owner and saw two of the demons he had fought back at the hospital, Pondera and Reformo.

**"Round two, asshole!" **Reformo yanked the chain hard, ripping Noctis from the ground and reeling him in. Just as Noctis was about to fly by, Reformo lifted his giant fist and slammed it down on the rival demon's chest with crushing force, causing another crater and an impact tremor that caused the ground around them to explode.

"That looked like it hurt...Did it?" Naruto mocked, still wailing on the barrier. It was cracking, but progress was slow. The Guardians would need to stall Noctis for a few more minutes before Naruto could join the battle.

Noctis growled and took hold of Reformo's arm, then, with almost careless ease, flung him away and stood up.

**"You worms were inferior to me in my other form, so what makes you think you can defeat me now that I'm so much more powerful?!" **he may have been in pain at the moment, but that wouldn't stop Noctis from dealing out some much-needed ass-kicking.

"Well, you see," Pondera spoke, "last time we were a bit...uncoordinated. Some of our number weren't there, others were taken out entirely too soon. But, now that we have an idea of what we're dealing with in you, we're better prepared this time." he retracted his battle chains and pumped youki into them, causing them to morph into daggertails.

Morium, Veneratio, Fragilitas, Affectus, and Reformo gathered behind their leader, each of them spoiling for a fight.

Noctis blinked one pair of eyes in confusion. **"Some of your number are still missing. The skeleton, the priestess, the child, and the ancient midget...!"** Noctis was suddenly struck by a bolt of lightning, though there wasn't a single dark cloud in the sky.

"Wow, he heard you from that far away?" Pondera chuckled. "Vereor isn't needed, since you are immune to Fire-based attacks. Clementia lacks the power to combat you, and you've proven that even her stronger barriers can't contain you for any significant period of time. Insontis just can't take enough punishment. And Ignotus is...around."

Noctis was struck with another bolt of lighting in the exact same place, right in between his shoulder blades and wings. While it didn't do much damage, it was irritating, and it was actually starting to hurt. **"Enough of this! You have delayed my plans for too long, and I tire of these little games." **he spread his wings and his arms, unleashing a powerful shockwave that pushed the Guardians back, then he used his wings and legs to propel himself forward at dizzying speeds and slammed into Reformo, who he deemed the biggest threat.

Pondera cursed silently, having not expected Noctis to be that fast. But he didn't let it rattle him, he couldn't afford to. There was a lot more than their own lives riding on their performance in this battle. A LOT more. His daggertails glowed a dull green and he flung one at Noctis, raking it across his back, causing sparks fly as the sharp blades failed to harm the stronger demon.

**"Is that thing made out of paper, or something? Come on, even you can do better than that!"** Noctis lashed out with his tail, which Pondera jumped back to avoid. But the blade still sliced through the front of his robe, revealing the armor underneath.

Pondera growled and threw off his robe. "You want better? I'll give you better!" one daggertail glowed orange as he whipped it at Noctis, smacking him across the face and sending him sprawling to the ground.

Noctis' headache seemed to increase tenfold from the hit, and Naruto's taunting wasn't helping one bit.

"Having trouble with the 'Lesser Demons'?"

**"Shut up!" **Noctis roared and charged at Pondera, only to be rammed to the side by Morium. **"Dammit!" **Noctis swatted the crocman away, but was struck by twenty more bolts of lightning, another hard shot from Pondera's daggertail, and a solid jab from Reformo, sending him to the ground. **"Fucking cockroaches, all of you! I'll destroy you a-!"** he roared in pain as Veneratio severed his left wing with his sword. Apparently the wing only looked like it was made of just bone, it still bled.

Noctis tried to strike the samurai demon, but failed horribly and found his arms grabbed by Pondera and Fragilitas. They then kicked him in the face, knocking out a couple teeth, placed their hands on his chest while keeping their others one his arms, picked him up, and slammed him into the ground.

"Pin him!" Pondera shouted, feeling Noctis about to power out of their hold.

Veneratio jammed his sword through Noctis' near impervious armor and staked his left arm to the ground. Fragilitas summoned a long spear and handed it to Morium, since he didn't have the strength to drive it into the fallen demon.

Noctis' vision was starting to blur as Naruto came closer and closer to breaking free. The pain was distracting him, that's why he was being beaten...that had to be the reason! There was no other way these lesser beings could topple him!

"Just keep telling yourself that." Naruto sneered.

"Reformo, Morium, you're up." Pondera said, stepping away from Noctis.

Both demons stepped into Noctis' view, grinning like lunatics and cracking their knuckles.

**"You guys might want to stand back for this one."** Reformo chuckled as he charged huge amounts of youki into his fist.

"Why don't we do this anymore? It's so much fun!" Morium also charged youki into his fist.

Reformo shrugged. **"Most enemies aren't as...troublesome as this one." **he lifted his energy-charged fist. **"Ready?"**

Morium mirrored his fellow demon's actions. "Oh yeah."

Both demons smashed their fists into Noctis' chest, exerting a total of over four-hundred tons of force. The force cracked and shattered the armor on Noctis' chest and caused an impact tremor that split the ground, creating a huge chasm.

Noctis coughed up large amounts of the foul black fluid he called blood and weakly looked down at his chest, eyes widening as he saw little more than a mess of blood, cracked armor, and broken bones. He swore he could see part of his small intestine and even a bit of his right lung...was that a kidney?

"Ooh, that's gonna leave a mark!" Naruto laughed.

**'Be quiet, weakling!' **Noctis thought back.

"No, you be quiet! It's time for you to go back into your holding cell. Maybe I'll let you out when you decide to behave, but, until then, bye-bye." Naruto smashed the barrier and Noctis screamed as he was encased in a blinding blue light.

The Guardians covered their eyes and backed away to put some distance between them, none of them knowing exactly what to expect from the demon.

The light died down and Noctis was gone, in his place stood Naruto, mask and all.

"Thank you for buying me enough time to break free." Naruto gave a small, but respectful bow.

Pondera returned the gesture. "It was nothing..." a growl from Reformo interrupted him. "Okay, so it was a pain in the ass, but it's good to have you back all the same."

A flash of Yuki's charred skull entered Naruto's mind and he clutched his head with a groan.

"Are you alright, Master Naruto?" Ignotus appeared next to the boy, standing perfectly balanced atop his staff.

"Yeah...I'll be fine...I just need some time, that's all...!" Naruto suddenly whipped around. "You've got to be shitting me."

A large hand clutched the edge of the chasm Reformo and Morium had created, covered in black armor. Another hand came up, clutching the giant blade of the newest Soul Edge incarnation.

_"Don't think...we're done yet...Halfling!"_ Noctis, back in his original form, climbed out of the rift, eyes blazing with unfathomable hatred and rage. _"You haven't defeated me! You haven't proven yourself worthy of control! I've seen what your slaves can do, now it's your turn."_ it was easy to tell that he had lost a lot of power, and was near the point of collapse, but that didn't seem to stop him from swinging his sword at Naruto.

"So be it." Naruto easily blocked the strike with the Black Soul and spoke to the Guardians while keeping eye-contact with Noctis. "You are dismissed, this is my fight now." the demons nodded and faded away.

_"And now the true battle begins!"_ with a sudden burst of strength, Noctis overpowered Naruto and pushed him back, then delivered a kick to his gut that drove the air from his lungs and sent him sliding back along the ground.

Naruto stood erect, grunting a little and dusting himself off. "So, that little display earlier was just an act...you've still got more than enough power to fight." he smirked under his mask. "Guess I'll have to pull out all the stops on you." Naruto laughed as both combatants sank into their shadows.

Noctis found himself disoriented and in the middle of a new battleground, one that he didn't recognize at all. It was a clearing in the middle of a forest, but this forest was dead...everything was dead. The grass was brown and brittle, the trees were little more than twisted and discolored husks, even the ground had an unhealthy grayish tint to it.

_"What the hell is this place?"_ Noctis wondered aloud.

"Funny you should mention hell." Naruto's voice came from the shadowed treeline just before Noctis' back was sliced open.

The demon hissed in pain, then growled as he remembered just where they were.

_"You've taken me to the Shadow Realm...I hope you don't think that makes me less dangerous."_ he smirked and locked onto Naruto's position. _"You see, you forget that, technically, we are the same life form. I can do everything that you can, and so much more! For example, Dark Release: Shadow's Embrace!"_

Naruto cursed as he instantly felt the effects of the attack. Naruto had created the technique after hearing about the Desert Coffin/Funeral of Suna's Jinchuuriki. Using the shadows to create an effect almost like that of the Nara's Shadow Neck Bind Technique, except instead of simply strangling the enemy, the shadow surrounds them, then implodes, crushing them instantly. Like the Desert Coffin, the first stage of the attack was simply to bind the target. The second stage had many different variations depending on the command given after the target was trapped.

Rend tore the skin from the opponent's body, then the muscle, peeling the body away by layers until nothing but a skeleton remained. This effect led to Naruto calling it Shadow Peeling. Crush simply...crushed. Pierce created thousands of spikes to impale the trapped target, which Naruto dubbed Shadow Maiden after the ancient torture device. Sever used razor-sharp tendrils to cut the limbs from the target, known as the Slaughterhouse. Tear, the final command, simply tore the enemy apart piece by piece and scattered the remains randomly. This final variation was named by Anko, as she had enlisted Naruto's _assistance_ for a couple of captured spies from Otogakure. She had suggested the name Shadow Dissection, and it stuck.

Now Naruto was trapped in his own technique, and Noctis was ready to give the command.

_"But which should I use? I would love to see you peeled like an orange, but I don't think you've earned something that humiliating. Maybe I'll just crush you into a little ball and play fetch with Seizonsha...before I do the same to her! Should I chop you into little pieces? Or crucify you? Or maybe I should give you the same treatment you gave to the Corpser, and pull your limbs off. So many choices, but I only get one shot at you, so I gotta choose wisely."_

Naruto chuckled, drawing Noctis' attention. "You may be able to do everything I can, but what does it matter...if I can do it better?" the shadows released Naruto and turned to Noctis, who could only stare in shock.

_"But...How?!"_

"You don't get it, do you? I hold the power now! Kyuubi, the Soul Edge, the strange dragon ability that you unlocked, and I thank you for that one, it's all mine! You have nothing but what remains of the power you took for yourself, and it is nothing compared to this. It would be best for you to go quietly and just return to your cell, but we both know that won't be happening." he suddenly disappeared.

Noctis grunted as he felt a fist slam into his gut, and another smash into his side before he could even react to the first. He swung his zanbatō blindly, but hit nothing but air and suffered another barrage of well-placed hits. He was struck with a solid kick to the base of his skull, sending him stumbling forward with a nasty case of whiplash.

_"Dammit!"_ Noctis growled.

"What's wrong?" Naruto's voice came from his right, accompanied by another kick that sent Noctis sprawling to the ground. "Can't keep up?" another kick, this time to the ribs.

The demonic knight roared in frustration, something Naruto seemed to be a constant source of. _"So what, you're faster than me? Once I get my hands on you, I'll-!"_

Noctis' words were halted by Naruto appearing in front of him, just standing there. "You'll what?" he challenged.

Noctis smirked under his facemask and swung his blade with all his might, aiming to lop Naruto's head clean off. But, just as his words had been halted, so had his blade.

Naruto held the jagged blade away from his neck with a single hand, the serrated edge not even cutting into his skin, despite the force Noctis was still applying.

"I'm not impressed. Nightmare put up a much better fight." with a sudden push, Naruto shoved the blade upward, unsheathed his own and slashed Noctis across the chest.

The demon managed to bend back enough so that only the tip of the sword caught him, but it still cleaved through his armor and into the skin underneath.

Noctis hissed and placed a hand over the wound. It may have been shallow, but it still stung like a bitch! The demon charged forward with a fierce battle cry, engaging Naruto in a furious swordfight.

But, while Noctis may have been the better swordsman due to the memories of the Soul Edge, Naruto held a huge advantage with his speed and the maneuverability of his weapon. In the time it took Noctis to swing his weapon, then change direction to strike again, Naruto had already cut him four or five times. The only reason the demon was even still fighting was because of his armor, but even that wouldn't be able to hold up much longer.

Riddled with cuts, gashes, and dents, Noctis' armor was on its last legs, as was he himself. This battle couldn't go on for much longer, his body just wouldn't be able to take it.

_"Devil Charge - Kraken: Black Sea Crusher!"_ Noctis, using his abnormally high Water alignment and an attack from a demon whose soul the Soul Edge had absorbed long ago, entrapped Naruto in a small bubble, filled with air, then encased that in a larger bubble, which was filled with water.

The Kraken, a species of demonic octopus that had been around for thousands of years. They lived in the deepest ocean trenches, only venturing out when called upon by a summoner, or to find food. Their diet usually consisted of a couple human ships, along with the humans themselves, and whales. While most could only use their youki to cause violent waves and strong whirlpools, some of the older ones could use actual attacks. The most powerful was known as the Black Sea Crusher, which was only used by the Kraken of the Black Sea, hence the name. It trapped the target inside of a pressurized bubble, then encased that bubble in a larger one. This larger bubble was filled with water and infused with energy to make it heavier. When the pressure of the water duplicated the pressure a Kraken was usually under at the bottom of the ocean, the inner bubble would be breached, and the target inside instantly crushed by the intense pressure.

Noctis cackled and pumped huge amounts of youki into the water, causing it to glow slightly.

_"Now I can finally crush you!"_ he clenched his fist and the large bubble imploded, crushing Naruto within it. But something was wrong; there was no blood. Only small particles of black dust..._"Fucking clone!"_

"And you fell for it." Naruto's voice came from directly behind Noctis as he rose from the demon's shadow and ran him through with the Black Soul.

Noctis just stood there, staring down at the sword that was sticking out of his chest. He idly noticed that he couldn't tell the difference between the normal black blade and the one covered in his dark blood.

"I must say, you were quite the disappointment. I expected more out of you." Naruto jerked his blade from the demon's body and stepped back. "Dark Release: Shadow's Embrace."

The shadows of the trees, as well as his own, surrounded Noctis and snared him in their unbreakable hold, completely wrapping around his body until only his head was visible.

Noctis didn't understand what was going on. He knew he could do better than this, but something was holding him back. Something within him wouldn't allow him to fight at his full potential.

_'What's wrong with me?'_ the demon asked himself, not expecting an answer.

_"You're finally starting to remember. Don't forget what I told you all those years ago; never lose sight of who you are."_

_'I...am Noctis...incarnate of the Soul Edge...and loyal servant of Lord Shizaru.'_

_"No, what you have been turned into is not who you are. Please, remember who you were, I know that man still dwells within this demonic shell...My son still dwells within this shell. Find the man that you once were, and you'll find the answers to the questions that I know plague your mind. Good luck, my son."_

_"...Mother..."_ Noctis mumbled.

"Pierce." Naruto gave the command, his voice cold as ice, matching his unforgiving and unsympathetic eyes as Noctis was impaled by hundreds of dark tendrils hardened to the point of being spears. "Sever." Noctis' still twitching body was sliced into pieces, armor and all, that fell to the ground with meaty thumps and metallic clangs. "Crush." the shadows swallowed the remains, expanded like a black balloon, then imploded, crushing the chunks and the ground they laid on.

The shadows retreated back to their original positions as Naruto released his control over them, uncovering the remains of the once powerful demon known as Noctis. As predicted, nothing was left, only small embers and scorch marks on the ground where the pieces had dissolved.

Naruto gave a sigh of relief before falling to his knees. Though he didn't show it during the battle, fighting at that level had taken a lot out of him. Constantly using his hybrid chakra to strengthen his attacks and enhance his speed, and even to form a barrier between his hand and the jagged zanbatō. Add that to the fact that he was nowhere near one-hundred percent, and you get a battle that was won through a combination of skill and sheer luck. He could sense that Noctis was holding back for some reason, but he also noticed that Noctis appeared not to know why himself. He wasn't one to look a gift horse in the mouth, so he simply took advantage of the situation, and came out on top.

Naruto slowly stood up, groaning as more memories hit him, seemingly determined to keep him down.

"I...I need to rest." Naruto grumbled as he walked off towards his castle in the distance.

(Mindscape)

Kyuubi found herself jarred from her slumber by the door to her chamber being broken down and Nightmare charging in wearing a party hat and throwing confetti everywhere.

_"He's back! That unholy little hellspawn of a Halfling is back and just handed Noctis his own ass!"_ Nightmare laughed.

Kyuubi, not really picking up anything through the haze that had settled over her mind, just stared oddly at the other demon. **"...What the hell is your problem?"**

Nightmare walked over to the bed, damn near skipping in his enthusiasm. _"I thought you'd be happy about this! What's _your_ problem?"_

**"What do I have to be happy about?" **the vixen mumbled sadly, hugging a pillow to herself.

_"For one, notice that what you're hugging ain't a mask?"_ Nightmare pointed at the pillow.

Kyuubi looked down and gasped, then began her frantic search for the object. **"Oh no, where is it?! Did I drop it? What if I accidentally crushed it? Oh, Kami, whereisitwhereisitwhereisitw hereisit?!" **she started to literally tear the bed apart.

Nightmare sweatdropped as he watched the feathers and bed stuffing fly everywhere. While it was entertaining, if Kyuubi kept at it, she might very well tear _him_ apart after the bed was done for.

_"Calm the fuck down, woman! You didn't lose it, and you didn't destroy it, Naruto took it back before he beat the hell out of that Nightmare wannabe, Noctis. Now, get up off your damn bed and follow me, I'm dying to watch some instant replay!"_ he grabbed Kyuubi with his talon and dragged her to the viewing room.

(Fifteen Minutes Later)

_"And right here is where he tricked that idiot with the old Switch-a-roo! Look at his eyes! He's seriously surprised that it didn't work!"_ Nightmare tried to do an imitation of Noctis' look, but couldn't keep a straight face and fell off the couch laughing.

Kyuubi, however, was much more subdued. Sure she laughed every once in a while, but she was just content with having her Naruto back. The memories would continue to be a problem, but they wouldn't be anything they couldn't handle together. Naruto had gotten through the events themselves, so he would get through the echoes of those events. It would just take time, that was all, just time.

XXXX

And it's done.

With this chapter I wanted a nice balance of action, violence, drama, and emocity. I wanted to show a side of Naruto that very few people ever see anymore, including Kyuubi, and it's also one that no one likes. For a while there, Naruto's emo side came to the surface. But he won't be appearing again, so don't worry about that...or will he?

Didn't want too much humor, if any at all, so there ain't much in here.

Also introduced a couple of new attacks, and a new Devil Charge for the Soul Edge, which will be taking on a new appearance after this. To answer any questions, Devil Charges are techniques from demons whose souls were eaten by the Soul Edge after they were slain. So far, we know that a Cerberus and a Kraken were killed by it, but what else could have been annihilated by the sword over the millennia it's been around? Well, you'll just have to wait and see.

Not much else to say, so, as usual, please report any errors or plotholes you find so I can correct them as needed, and any questions can be put in reviews and/or PMs, and will be answered to the best of my abilities.

Well, that's pretty much it, so...

Jason Out!


	28. Genin On An S Class Mission!

Hello, my loyal readers! Rumors of my death have been greatly exaggerated, and all that crap.

Now, I know I said this chapter would contain a surprise, something that everyone was dying to see. Well, since this chapter could very well have ended up being sixty-thousand words long, or more, I decided, after checking with a friend, to split it up into two parts. So the next chapter will contain the surprise. I hope you all don't mind too much.

Enjoy chapter Twenty-eight of Black Flames Dance In The Wind: Rise of Naruto!

XXXX

(One Day Later)

It had only been a day since the "Hospital Massacre", as everyone was calling it, and the village was, as was to be expected, still abuzz about the event. Of course, as soon as the knowledge that a demon was responsible was made public, Naruto was instantly blamed for what had transpired.

Also, the fact that the demon had, allegedly, come from Naruto's hospital room in the first place, and that the boy was nowhere to be found either during or after the attack, had somehow been leaked, and people were, once more, calling for Naruto's death on an hourly basis.

The Sandaime, as with all great political figures, made a convincing cover-story. In an attempted to not only make the story more truthful, but increase Naruto's standing amongst the villagers, the Hokage had told them that the reason Naruto was missing was because he had been the first to combat the demon, but had been defeated. The bit about the Guardians was left out for obvious reasons, and the demon's involvement in Noctis' defeat were, instead, accredited to Zabuza, Anko, Kurohane, Hinata, Haku, Chigusa, Kiriko, and Seizonsha. The massive explosion was said to be the last-ditch effort from Naruto that finally defeated the demon, but severely injured Naruto himself, resulting in him being held in an "undisclosed location" to heal.

This story seemed to work, as the Hokage hadn't heard from anyone in the past three hours, but he had a feeling something was up.

Said man was currently sitting in his office, nursing a headache. He slowly looked up as he felt a presence enter his quarters.

"Captain Ninety, I do hope you've brought me good news."

The Captain of Ninth Division stepped out of the ever-shadowed corner of the office and into the light of the morning sun that streamed in through the large windows.

"I wish I could." the Captain said, taking a chair in front of the desk.

"I take it Danzo is still alive, then?" Sarutobi's headache seemed to gain strength from those words.

The Captain, surprisingly, didn't nod or shake his head, he simply shrugged. "That's the thing, I couldn't find him. I figured all the chaos from the demon attack would be the perfect time to take him out, seeing as how he would obviously go against your orders and send his ROOT squads out to investigate and be left with a relatively light guard. I checked both Danzo's residence and the ROOT headquarters, but all I found were some low-ranking ROOT members. Neither Danzo, or any high-ranking officer of his group were present anywhere in the village. I had my whole squad searching for them." the Captain seemed to be slightly frustrated as he recalled his fruitless hours of searching.

The Sandaime sighed and gritted his teeth against the pain of his now full-on migraine. 'I'm too old for this...Way too fucking old!' he thought angrily, taking the time to glared balefully at the portrait of the Yondaime, silently cursing him for putting him back in this position.

"So...what now?" the Captain asked.

"Something's definitely not right about all of this. How could one of the most powerful men in Konoha, plus thirty or more Jōnin to ANBU-level shinobi just disappear like that without anyone knowing?"

The Captain shook his head. "That's the problem right there, they didn't just disappear without anyone knowing. Something tells me that a lot of people know about it, they just aren't saying anything. We've seen just how...elusive that old bastard can be, but he's never been able to evade us, let alone Seventh Division, the Trackers, who I enlisted to aid in finding him. There are many possible explanations to his sudden absence, but all of them point to something shady going on. But two really stand out, at least to me. Either he believed the demon would be targeting him for some reason, and went into hiding; or he left before the whole ordeal began, meaning that he was either tipped off, which is highly unlikely, or he had prior engagements outside of the village. Given our history with demons, it's no small wonder that he'd think the demon's first target would be Konoha, but, given his personality, that's no reason for him to go into hiding. If anything, he'd call a meeting and show up with thirty of his best shinobi and call for an all-out attack on the demon, like he did with Kyuubi. To simply run away like that, he'd have to think the demon was after him specifically. There were Council members that stuck around even though they had MUCH weaker constitutions than Danzo. Why would the old guy think a demon, obviously one of great power, would come to Konoha solely for the purpose of finding him?

He'd have to know he'd done something to warrant a demon coming after him, and that usually entails a deal with a demon itself. We both know Danzo isn't trustworthy at all, so him reneging on a deal is an entirely plausible scenario. And history shows what demons do to humans that don't hold up their end of the bargain. Now, what if he left the village before all of that started? Why would he, one, leave the village for so long, and two, take so many high-level ninja with him? Was he tipped off as to the demon attack? That leads us back to the first scenario, in which he knows he's done something to incite a demon's wrath. So the only other possible answer is that he was doing something outside of the village that he didn't want anyone else knowing about, and that he'd obviously need a high amount of protection. I mean let's face it, Danzo's no slouch when it comes to combat himself, but he is paranoid as hell, so he'd probably have guards along for a simple walk in the woods. But come on, taking thirty plus ANBU-level shinobi with you and being gone for over twenty-four hours? Seems like a bit more than a walk to me."

The Sandaime nodded. "Yes, that is most definitely..._suspicious_ behavior..."

The Captain snorted. "Can you name something that Danzo does that doesn't qualify as suspicious? Hell, even the way the guy walks is suspicious! He has that aura about him...it's like he's always got one of three signs over his head that read; 'I know something that you don't!', 'I know something you don't want me to know!', or 'I know something I don't want you to know!'. That's why I believe he's so paranoid. He knows he's into some deep shit, and he knows that all it takes is one slip-up to bring the whole thing down on him, so he doesn't take any chances."

The Hokage nodded. "You're right, he's into something...something big. I fear those rumors of his dealings with Orochimaru may be true. If he's having these secret outings that he feels the need to bring a small army along, then he must be dealing with someone dangerous that he doesn't really trust. But this is Danzo we're talking about, sometimes I'm not sure if he even trusts himself! But if he sees a person as being dangerous enough to require that many high-level ninja in case of an ambush or other confrontation, it's almost certainly an enemy of Konoha."

The Captain remained silent for a few minutes, then finally rose from his seat and spoke, "So, what are my orders?"

"Keep up the search for Danzo and any ranking officer in his ROOT squadrons. If you find anyone, and I mean anyone, that seems like they would have some information, detain them and make use of any and all interrogation methods and procedures. As usual, keep this within the Divisions. No one else is to know about this, not even Mirano or Hiashi." the Hokage felt sort of guilty about keeping two of his closest friends and advisers in the dark about the situation.

He felt almost as though he was stooping near Danzo's level, hiding the facts from everyone around him. But this required absolute secrecy, and the higher the number of people that knew, the higher the risks of that secrecy being compromised. It would be best to keep this between him and the officially deceased members of the Nine Black Ops. Divisions.

The Captain nodded and gave a small bow. "Orders received and understood, sir. Is their anything else?"

The Sandaime shook his head. "There is the matter with the Yondaime Raikage, but I don't think I'll be needing anyone from the Divisions. He wants to meet with me in Kumogakure...he says that he can't take the chance of leaving now that Orochimaru has made himself known as a serious threat to them. That, and the fact that he says there are still those loyal to the Sandaime Raikage and his ideals that would be more than willing to start up trouble with the Hyūga again, should they accompany the Yondaime to Konoha."

"Are you going?"

"I'm considering it. Weighing the risks and rewards of going in person. He wants an alliance, but he claims that it's not just because of Orochimaru. He says that certain events that were kick-started by his attack have opened his eyes to the change that needs to happen in Kumogakure, and the first step to achieving that change was changing himself, and the second step was to stop making enemies and make some friends. I can certainly see where he's coming from, but I can't go, at least not yet. Some things still need to be set straight here, like where Danzo has run off to, and when Naruto's getting back from the Shadow Realm." sometime after the battle, after Zabuza and the others had been recovered, Kurohane had used her connection to Naruto through the summoning contract to track him down, and said that he was in the Shadow Realm, and, apparently, wanted to be left alone.

"Well, guess I'd better get back to Geezer Hunting, eh? I'll report back if I find anything useful. I hope the next time I'm here, I have some good news...or, better yet, Danzo's head." and then the Captain of the Ninth Division was gone. As usual, no smoke, no chakra spike, no flash, no leaves or wind; just gone without a trace. Like a ghost fading before the eyes of all watching.

Sarutobi allowed himself a small smirk. 'I've got you cornered now, Danzo...Wonder how you're going to try and weasel your way out of this one.' now all that was left to do was find out who was collaborating with Danzo, and then play the waiting game.

(Naruto's Apartment Complex)

"Will you sit down already?" Zabuza screamed, almost at the point of tearing his own hair out.

"Sorry." Haku whispered and sat down on the sofa next to Kurohane.

Zabuza sighed, he knew they were all pretty high strung at the moment, but Haku had been pacing for the last hour, and in the complete silence, her feet thumping on the hardwood floor and the occasional creaking floorboard were driving him up the damned wall!

"Look, I'm sorry about biting your head off, but you were giving me a headache." the swordsman apologized.

Haku simply nodded and put on a strained smile. "It's alright, we're all a bit...on edge here." that was an understatement, everytime someone so much as twitched, everyone else would flinch.

Seizonsha seemed to be the only one that wasn't bothered by the tension in the air, if her sleeping on Chigusa's lap was any indication.

A loud knock on the door caused everyone to jump, and some even pulled out kunai.

"Who is it?" Zabuza demanded, he wasn't in the mood for more Demon Haters and their often explosive "gifts". Three times someone had knocked on the door, and three times they had run away before anyone could open it, leaving a bomb in their place. Of course, these bombs were made in a very slipshod manner, and were easily disarmed and put in storage for later use. They may have been crap, but high explosive was still high explosive.

"It's Anko, now open the fuckin' door!" yep, it was Anko, and she was pissed.

"Open it your damn self!" Zabuza yelled back. After all, she was the one with a key.

The sound of the lock clicking and the door opening, even though they were expecting it, still caused the occupants of the room to twitch, as did the footsteps that followed.

In came Anko and her student, Hinata, both of whom, like everyone else there, weren't yet medically cleared to take missions after somehow surviving that demon's attack the day before. On the outside, they were all fine, but according to the doctors, the force of the blast, as well as the sudden surge of youki, had caused minor internal injuries.

But what truly baffled the doctors and medics was the fact that all of them were alive, let alone up and moving, and demanding missions. With an attack that powerful, and with that much youki released, each of them should have been little more than crimson stains on the ground, but not only had they survived, they had only suffered relatively minor injuries, the worst of which was Zabuza's broken rib, and that was from Haku's attack during their spar!

They should have been incinerated, impaled by flying debris, crushed by falling trees, torn apart by the blast wave, hell, they should have been dead from chakra poisoning after being exposed to so much youki at one time. The only explanation was that they were protected by an outside force. Someone else must have been in the area and had taken an interest in their survival. That was the only possible answer, otherwise there was no way they would have lived. The fact that they were all up and walking around only confirmed this.

But, as per the Hokage's orders, no Konoha shinobi were in the area, let alone someone strong enough to save all eight of them. The only question now was who, or what, had protected them from certain death?

"Scoot." Anko ordered before plopping down on the sofa in between Haku and Kurohane, nearly sitting on the summon's lap when she was slow to acknowledge the demand.

Hinata took a more polite approach and placed herself next to Chigusa, who now had both Seizonsha and Kiriko using her thighs as pillows.

"So..." Zabuza started, but couldn't think of anything to say.

Anko looked around the room and frowned. "Am I gonna have to say what I know we're all thinking?" no replies. "I guess so. Well then, I'll just come right out and say it: how the hell are we still alive?"

Zabuza shrugged. "Hell if I know. Last thing I remember was that thing launching its attack, then nothing, just darkness."

"Same here." Haku said.

Nods also came from Chigusa, Kiriko, Anko, Kurohane and Hinata.

Anko then snapped her fingers. "Wait a minute! I remember feeling this odd sinking sensation, like being in an elevator, before I passed out."

Zabuza scratched his chin. "Now that you mention it, I felt the same thing...How about you guys?" everyone else nodded except for Kurohane.

"I didn't feel anything." the Raven summon shrugged and went back to toying with her scythe, a nervous tick of hers.

Anko closed her eyes as she thought, giving her an almost fox-like appearance. "The only time I've ever felt like that without being in an elevator was when Naruto used his Shadow Walk to transport us somewhere...That's it! Someone used the Shadow Walk on us! That explains the sinking feeling, the darkness, and why Kuro-chan didn't feel it, she's used to it!" Anko grinned a bit as she saw Kurohane twitch at the mention of her pet name.

"So it was Naruto-sama then?" Haku whispered to herself.

Hinata caught it and looked at the older female. "What?"

"I said it was Naruto-san that saved us..." Haku quickly covered her slip-up, but it was a bit too quickly for Hinata's tastes.

"Uh-huh..." the Hyūga heiress dropped the subject, but Haku was now labeled as a true threat to her pursuit of Naruto.

"Either way, it's obvious that Naruto knows something about what happened, so we need to find him." Zabuza said, then looked at Kurohane, as did everyone else.

"Hm? What?...No, I told you Naruto doesn't want to be bothered, and I respect his privacy!"

"Fuck privacy, this outranks that!" Anko, blunt as ever.

"That's easy for you to say, you won't be the one invading it!"

"Well, we need to find Naruto. Naruto's in the Shadow Realm. You're the only one that can go to the Shadow Realm. This means you are the only one that can find him." Zabuza said, pretty much ignoring Kurohane's protests.

"What Zabuza means to say is that we're all worried about Naruto-kun, and we need you to see if he's alright, and if he has any answers."

"'Naruto-_kun_'?" Hinata rose an eyebrow. "What happened to 'Naruto-san'?"

Haku glared at the other girl. "Is that jealousy I detect?"

"Why would I be jealous of you?" Hinata huffed.

"Why wouldn't you? I'm stronger, faster, apparently more mature, and..." she paused to size Hinata up before continuing, "better looking."

Hinata, taking a page out of Naruto's book, slowly cocked her head to the side, then laughed before standing up.

"Really now? You may be stronger and faster than me, but not for long. In case you've forgotten, I've got three Jōnin-level teachers, Anko-sensei, Kurenai-sensei, and Naruto-_kun_. More mature? Maybe, maybe not. Better looking?" Hinata, too, sized up her "opponent". "I suggest you get one of your little mirrors out, or get glasses."

"Oooooohhh." Anko said, looking to pour some more gas onto the fire that was the combined tempers of these two young women.

Kurohane then stood up, a devious grin on her face. "I don't know why you two are getting so worked up, since neither of you can beat me in any department. I'm more powerful than both of you, my immaturity is part of my charm, and I've got the best body and face in this room." she sent that last barb directly at Anko, and from the look on her face and that eye-twitch, it hit its mark. "As much as I'd love to roll out the list of reasons I'm better than you, I have to go see Naruto-kun..._alone_. Toodles, darlings!" with a derisive chortle, Kurohane sank into her shadow and disappeared.

The room was suddenly very cold, yet blazing hot at the same time, if that was even possible. Tempers had flared to breaking point, and someone was about to get hurt.

Zabuza, Chigusa, Kiriko, and Seizonsha had the sense to slowly back out of the room, and not a second too late, either.

The male citizens of Konoha let out a collective shudder as a wave of righteous feminine fury washed over them, carrying the curse of "BITCH!" with it.

(Shadow Realm)

Naruto awoke with a start, sitting upright in his bed and shaking the nightmare off.

"This...is complete bullshit." he muttered before throwing off the sheet and heading to the bathroom.

Stepping over to the sink to wash his hands after doing his business, Naruto found himself staring at his reflection in the mirror, specifically his eyes. They were still same icy blue with slitted pupils, still as piercing as ever, but something was different about them. Whereas before they always seemed so, for lack of a better word, dull, they now seemed to gleam in the dim light. It wasn't the familiar gleam that would strike fear into any sentient being, the one that promised a brutal death, or even the one that promised mischief. This was something else, not quite even a gleam, more of a spark, so to speak.

**"The 'Spark of Life' humans seem to cherish so much, perhaps?" **Kyuubi's voice suggested, accompanied by her slender arms wrapping around Naruto's neck as her head came to rest on his shoulder.

Naruto snorted. "And where did you come from?"

Kyuubi shrugged. **"Just wandering around. I encountered quite a few of your creations."**

"And what did you think?"

**"They're shockingly well-behaved. I once lived in a castle inhabited by demons, and let me tell you, the hallways were never free of severed limbs and blood. It wasn't uncommon for you to see a small army of Imps taking on a Demolisher in a space not much larger than this bathroom...sometimes even IN the bathroom."**

Naruto chuckled. "Yes, well, these aren't demons. I put a lot of effort, chakra, and, recently, souls into making them, so they'd better have some intelligence. Meet any of the Commanders?" he referred to the four strongest Shadow Beasts he had created. It was soon going to be five, once the Corpser was finished.

**"Oh yes, I met three of them. Nice guys, though they don't look it." **Kyuubi started to nibble on Naruto's ear.

"Yes, well, they know who you are, so of course they're going to be polite and watch their step around you. Had you been anyone else, you would have gotten the 'Fuck off and get outta my way' treatment." Naruto gave a pleased growl as Kyuubi moved on to his neck. "What's up?" he nearly yelped as Kyuubi grabbed his crotch.

**"Not you, and that's a problem." **the demon Queen grabbed a fistful of Naruto's hair and yanked his head back hard and stared into his eyes. **"I need you up and at'em in about ten seconds, otherwise this is gonna hurt a lot more than it should. For you, at least." **she then smashed his lips into hers, shoving her tongue into his mouth and dominating the situation right off the bat. Exactly eight seconds later, she found herself stroking Naruto's hard length through his pants and smirked as she pulled back, licking the blood from her lip from when she had bitten Naruto's. **"There we go. Now then, you, on the bed, **_**now**_**."** she commanded.

**(WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! LIME AHEAD! SKIP DOWN TO NEXT WARNING TO AVOID IF YOU SO WISH!)**

Naruto, grinning like a madman, nodded eagerly and walked quickly over to the bed and laid down. "Yes, Kyuu-sama." he knew exactly what Kyuubi was playing at, and knew to play along. His air supply was suddenly cutoff by Kyuubi sitting on his face, her bare crotch pressed into his lips.

**"Lick it." **Kyuubi commanded, then shuddered as Naruto complied, his long tongue sliding into her already wet snatch.

Suddenly the door to the room burst open and a Shadow Beast with an oddly human appearance rushed in, panting up a storm. He looked like your classic bald butler, complete with white gloves and a black tuxedo.

"Sorry to bother you, sir and madam, but there is an intruder an-!" he was cutoff by one of Kyuubi's youki hands grabbing his head and crushing it like a grape.

Naruto tried to peer over Kyuubi's thigh, but couldn't lift his head high enough and settled for asking.

"Wha wath tha aw awout?" with his tongue still inside of his mate, Naruto's speech was slurred horribly, but still understandable.

**"Something about an intruder. Now shut up and get back to work, I'm sure whoever it is won't last long here." **Kyuubi ground her pussy almost painfully into Naruto's face.

Naruto simply shrugged, as best he could from that position, and went back to pleasuring his vixen. Twisting his tongue like a corkscrew, Naruto knew exactly which spots to hit, which order to hit them in, and just how to hit them. He soon had Kyuubi wailing and painfully clutching his hair, nearly ripping it out, but the pain only turned him on even more, making him take to his task with more vigor.

Using memory alone, Naruto located Kyuubi's G-spot and went in for the kill. Creating an airtight seal around her clit with his lips, Naruto sucked on it while pressing against Kyuubi's G-spot, instantly setting her off on a double orgasm, causing her to release an almost silent scream and convulse on top of him. In this moment of extreme bliss, Kyuubi had let go of Naruto's hair and had collapsed forward. This gave him the opportunity to overpower her and flip her over onto her back, his head still between her legs, tongue still sliding in and out of her, licking up any residual juices.

The door once again burst open to reveal another humanoid Shadow Beast in a tux. "Pardon the intrusion, sir, but I was sent to inform you of an intruder in your realm. What should-!" this Butler was suddenly attacked by Naruto's cloak, which wrapped around his body like a wet, smothering blanket and slowly crushed him into oblivion.

"Good boy." Naruto muttered before dragging his tongue from the bottom of Kyuubi's vagina to her clit, then up to her abdomen, then the valley between her breasts, and eventually up over her chin and into her mouth, locking her in a steamy kiss.

Kyuubi broke the kiss and rolled so that she was on top of Naruto and stared into his lust-darkened eyes with a smirk.

**"Have I told you that you're a little too good at what you do sometimes?" **

Naruto rose an eyebrow. "Only sometimes? I guess I'll have to try harder."

Kyuubi's smirk widened, then turned to a frown when her southbound hand came into contact with Naruto's pants.

**"...You're still wearing pants..."** it was easy to tell she was more than a bit annoyed with this little factoid.

It was now Naruto's turn to smirk. "Hm, so I am, how about that?" oh yes, he wanted her nice and frustrated for this. Something else to add to the long list of things most people didn't know about Naruto was his, sometimes extreme, sadomasochistic tendencies.

Kyuubi growled and ripped Naruto's pants apart, which once again reverted back to black sludge and landed with a splat on the floor. She did the same to his shirt, which also landed as a black puddle of thick goo.

**"You enjoy antagonizing me, don't you?" **it was more of a statement than a question, but Naruto answered with a nod anyway. He then let out a very un-Naruto-like squeak as Kyuubi roughly fondled his package. **"Well, since you enjoy making things harder than they already are, I'm sure you can do better than this." **she gave him another rough squeeze, holding back a giggle at the rodent-esque noise it coaxed out of Naruto.

"Ooooohhh...Just for that, I'm going to make sure you can't walk for the next week!" Naruto growled almost playfully, a mischievous glint in his otherwise darkened eyes.

Kyuubi scoffed before trailing a single claw along her lovers cock, grinning as he shuddered. **"I don't think you're in any position to do that. I, on the other hand..." **she allowed her tongue to follow the same path as her finger, licking along the underside of Naruto's manhood.

For the third time the door to Naruto's bedchamber was thrown open to reveal yet another Butler standing there, this one a lot more nervous than the first two.

**(WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! LIME OVER!)**

"S-Sorry to bo-bother y-you, sir, madam, b-but th-the intruder i-is running through o-our forces at a t-terrifying rate..." the Shadow Beast gulped as Kyuubi let go of his creator and slowly stalked towards him, her malevolent youki forming nine highly agitated tails behind her. He tried to keep his composure and relay the message he was given by Commander D, but the closer Kyuubi got, the higher his voice became. "Th-Th-The in-intruder is a-a-already b-battling two o-of the Sl-Slayer Captains!"

Naruto, who was now fully dressed in his normal attire, cloak and all, cocked his head to the side. "Who's winning?"

The Butler gulped again, Kyuubi was only ten feet away from him, so close that the heat from her youki made him feel like he was in an oven. "Sh-Sh-Sh-She i-i-is, s-sir...!" he suddenly screamed and cowered as Kyuubi appeared no less than half a foot away from him. After five seconds of no pain, he opened his eyes just in time to see the last of Kyuubi's tails disappear down the hall and around a corner.

Naruto sighed as he adjusted his mask, for some odd reason it just didn't feel as comfortable as it normally did. He supposed it was because he had no real reason to wear it in the Shadow Realm, his private sanctuary...Well, apparently, it wasn't so private at the moment.

"She's pissed." the boy grumbled, knowing he would have to either deal with her directly, or deal with the damage she was sure to cause. 'As long as she doesn't fuck with any of the Commanders or the Corpser, it won't be too big a loss.'

The Butler looked back at his creator. "...Severe understatement." he flinched as an explosion rocked the entire castle. "HEY! I'm the one that has to clean that up!" the Shadow Beast ran down the halls to the source of the explosion, hoping to at least talk Kyuubi into taking her destructive temper outside, where it would be less taxing on him and the other "Helper Beasts", as everyone tended to call them.

"So, this intruder is a female...Either Yoruyonaka-sama has decided to pay me a visit, or Kurohane got impatient." they were the only two females that would ever have access to his section of the Shadow Realm. 'It has to be Kurohane, Yoru-sama wouldn't need a portal to get here...According to Kyuu-chan, she'd just be here.' Naruto shrugged and tilted his head to the side, sighing contently when he heard a loud pop. "Might as well go see what she wants." he also thought it would be a good idea to get to her before she got to the Gatekeeper.

Unlike the other monsters roaming the castle and the surrounding property, the Gatekeeper wasn't one of Naruto's creations. It had just appeared one day, shortly after the defeat of the Dreadwraith, and became part of Naruto's army. Neither Naruto or any of the other Shadow Beasts had ever seen anything like it before, otherwise they'd surely remember it. It was big, mean, vicious, and, above all, powerful. So much so that even the Commanders thought twice about giving it orders. Besides, it only listened to Naruto himself, and anyone that so much as stood in the same place for too long around it was either swatted away, crushed, eaten, or they'd die an incredibly painful and drawn out death courtesy of the toxin that coated the creature's claws and tail barbs. It all really depended on the beast's mood and whether it was hungry or not.

While thinking about the mysterious monster, Naruto idly wondered what would happen if the Gatekeeper and the Corpser ever met. 'No, Naruto, focus on the task at hand; keeping Kurohane from being utterly demolished.'

(Meanwhile, Miles Away From The Castle)

Kurohane quickly ducked another lightning-quick slash from one of the grotesque creatures she was fighting. She'd fought off two waves of them not even ten minutes ago, but these two were tougher than all of the previous ones combined. She guessed that they were the leaders, or Captains of the first two waves, letting the minions do all the work and weaken the enemy, then they come in to mop up. While similar in appearances to the other blade-limbed creatures, there were some significant differences besides pure strength.

While the others were almost of normal human proportions, around five foot ten inches tall, a little on the thin side, they were freakishly agile and flexible, and possibly triple or quadruple jointed if that creepy spider-crawl was anything to go by. There were also some larger, tougher ones that she had to contend with, but they weren't too much trouble. Topping out at an undeniably imposing seven or even eight feet in height, they were a bit more muscular than the smaller ones, making them more powerful, but slower and less maneuverable.

Despite these size and power differences, the previous monsters had the same traits. Thick, heavy blades replacing hands and feet; thin, but athletic build; and metal chest armor held together with leather belts, which also appeared all over the body. The "faces" were all different, some had masks on, others appeared to be human skulls with the skin stretched out and the eyes and mouth sewn shut. Some had bolts and spikes adorning the backs of their heads, and some even had hair. But one thing about all of their heads was the same; none of them were connected to the body directly. Some kind of weird contraption, like a metal neck brace, suspended their heads about six inches above the stumps that remained of their necks. Well, that basically ruled out decapitation as a method of dealing with them, which Kurohane learned the hard way when she tried it with the first few.

When Slayers are decapitated, they don't die, they become enraged and chaotic. They can no longer see, but they know the enemy is still in the area. The logical solution? Head in the general direction of the enemy's last known position and slash madly until you hit something, regardless of what it is, then don't let up until it resembles confetti. Kurohane ended up using this insanity to her advantage, decapitating the most powerful monsters and ducking out as it carved all the others up.

But then these assholes came along. About a foot taller than the larger monsters, making them around nine feet tall, and more muscular than the larger ones. But they were just as fast as the smaller ones, maybe even moreso. They darted, flipped and zipped between most of her offense before providing some of their own with those deadly, scissor-like blades that adorned their arms, an upgrade from the weaker beasts.

But the worst thing about these two was the fact that they wouldn't stay dead! If she sliced them in two, they'd glow blue for a few seconds, then get right back up, right as rain and ready to tear her a new one! Based on what the others did, Kurohane didn't even attempt to go for their heads.

Speaking of heads, Kurohane nearly lost hers, but ducked just before the scissor blade of one monster snapped shut where her neck had been. The beast seemed to hiss in frustration before charging again, but it only received a hard kick to the chest for its overzealous attack.

Kurohane ducked another slash from the still-standing monster and spun in a full circle with her scythe, cleaving the beast in half at the waist. The two parts fell to the ground, but the Raven Princess knew that it wouldn't be long before it put itself back together and came back for more.

She suddenly had to leap to the side as the second monster came flying at her like a giant drill bit shot out of a cannon. One of the leg blades caught her on the forearm, opening a long gash. Kurohane hissed out a curse, both because of the wound and the fact that the "dead" monster was surrounded by that blue glow and would be getting up any second now.

But that was okay. Kurohane was now supremely pissed, and the monsters were as good as dead.

"That does it, I'm sick of you little fuckrags!" purple chakra erupted out of both Kurohane and her scythe. The "eyes" on the blade of her weapon glowed an angry crimson before the blade itself seemed to shatter, being replaced by a blade of pure energy.

Kurohane shot into the air, trailing black smoke behind her. The smoke eventually caught up with her and swirled around her body as she descended back to earth, and into the waiting blades of the Slayers below. The smoke began to take shape, splitting into two clouds that clung tightly to Kurohane's back. The smoke then solidified, revealing a pair of majestic, black feathered wings with a twelve foot span.

With a single flap, Kurohane pulled out of her nosedive and soared high into the air, her scythe actually leaving a glowing trail of purple energy as she charged her attack. The blade was surrounded by a large sphere by the time Kurohane reached the peak of her ascent and looked down at the monsters, who were simply milling around in confusion, knowing they couldn't reach her, and thus not bothering to try. This would prove to be a fatal error in about six seconds.

Kurohane grinned, looking down at the creatures, who appeared as little more than insects to her now. She grabbed the ball and ripped it from her scythe before tossing it into the air above her head. Flipping sideways, she used her scythe to "grab" the ball and fling it back down to the ground at tremendous speed.

The sphere came crashing down with the force of a meteorite, and caused just as much damage. From the point of impact, a massive explosion sent out an equally massive shockwave that leveled most of the trees of the dead forest, creating a circular clearing with a diameter measuring nearly half a mile, with a massive crater at the center.

Needless to say, the Slayers were done for, as was anything else that happened to be lurking in the shadows when Kurohane had launched her attack.

Gazing down at the smoking crater, Kurohane sweatdropped. "Um...Guess I used a little too much power..." she eventually just shrugged, assuming that, at one point or another, Naruto had done far worse to this place. She looked over and spied the castle. "Must be where Naruto hangs out." with another flap of her powerful wings, she shot off towards the enormous structure, slicing apart anything dumb enough to even attempt to block her path.

(With Naruto)

The masked boy sighed heavily as he felt the castle shake from the tremors caused by Kurohane's attack.

"Two Captains and who knows how many Slayers, all wasted." true, he could have simply called them off and allowed Kurohane entrance, but that wouldn't be nearly as much fun!

"Naruto-sama, did you receive the message?" a deep, monotonous voice called out to Naruto as he rounded a corner.

Naruto looked to the speaker and found one of the Commanders kneeling before him. "Come on, D, you know that is not required."

The Shadow Beast known simply as "D" stood up. "Forgive me, sir, habit from a past life." this D fellow was tall, easily dwarfing Naruto, but they both had similar builds; lean and athletic. The man wore a long cloak which hid all but his boot-clad feet and one arm from view. The Commander's face was pale, but still very much human, if you didn't count the pointed ears. The wide-brimmed hat and the long nodachi strapped across his back completed the package, and just looked damned cool in Naruto's eyes.(1)

'Do hats go with masks?' Naruto idly thought before getting back to the subject. "You mean the intruder? Yeah, the third one survived long enough to give me some details."

D shook his head. "No, I mean about the Corpser being completed. The intruder will be easily taken care of, so I figured that the Corpser would be of more interest to you."

"Under normal circumstances, that would be true. But I know this intruder, and I will not see her destroyed." Naruto groaned when he sensed Kurohane's chakra, which was a lot stronger than he remembered, coming towards the castle rapidly. "Which means I have to get to her before the Gatekeeper does! Keep the Corpser in the Hanger until I can inspect him!" with that, Naruto shot off down the hallway, leaving a slightly perplexed D.

The Shadow Beast just shrugged and walked casually back down to the Line to inform the workers of the new orders.

(With Kurohane)

Though this plane of the Shadow Realm looked even more barren than most, it was still quite beautiful from above. The color-shifting moon's majestic pale blue light made even the most horrid of the decaying plant life oddly pleasant. Naruto had really done something incredible with this place.

"Almost relaxing if you don't think about what's hiding in there." Kurohane mused as she watched a multitude of dark figures zip from tree to tree down below. The color of the moon suddenly shifted again, going from pale blue to bloody crimson, the same color it had been when she had first arrived.

She screamed in pain as she was struck by three large barbs, one in her right thigh, one in her right shoulder, and the last in her left arm. No longer able to maintain flight, she fell from the sky like a bird shot down by a hunter. She managed to slow her descent just enough so that she wouldn't die instantly upon impact with the ground...Okay, so the trees managed to slow her down enough to save her, but they had also broken her wings, which dissolved into black smoke and absorbed into the blade of her scythe, which had returned to its normal form and was stuck on a low tree limb.

Kurohane tried to move, but soon found that the barbs she had been hit with were covered in a poison that paralyzed only her muscles, leaving the nerves completely unharmed. This meant that while she was unable to move, she could still feel any pain inflicted upon her by whatever happened across her motionless body.

Boom...

The ground shook from weight of some giant object crashing to the ground not too far away from Kurohane.

Boom...Boom...

Two more, a bit closer this time.

Boom...Boom...Boom...

It was now apparent that this wasn't the result of objects falling to the ground, and Kurohane didn't even want to think about what kind of monster would be big enough to cause tremors like this.

Boom-Boom-Boom-Boom...

Whatever beast was heading her way had picked up its pace, its footfalls now coming in rapid succession.

Boom...

The footfalls had stopped just behind the treeline, and all was silent, save for the wind blowing through the trees...No, not wind, breath. Somehow the creature had snuck up on Kurohane, quiet as an assassin in the night, and now cast its gargantuan shadow over her crippled form.

Kurohane could only see a vague outline of the beast that loomed over her, eyes glowing a brilliant and terrifying orange to rival even the brightest embers. Its massive, forward-facing horns jutted out from its malformed, skeletal head. "Big" didn't even begin to describe this monster, towering at least twenty feet above Kurohane even though it was hunched over on all fours. Its huge shoulders connecting to arms five times Kurohane's width, then to four-clawed hands placed on either side of its prey's body. A long tail hung over the creature's shoulder, and at the end was a large knob with hundreds of barbs sticking out of it. These were the same barbs that were still stuck in Kurohane's flesh, penetrating to and through bone.

The monster, which Kurohane now noted resembled a Minotaur, raised one of its taloned hands in preparation to crush her into the ground until she became little more than a crimson puddle.

"Stand down!" a familiar voice ordered, instantly halting the giant Minotaur. Naruto appeared before the beast, standing between it and Kurohane, staring it right in the eyes and daring it to defy him.

Lowering its hand, the Gatekeeper gave a slight nod of acknowledgement and lumbered back into the forest to resume its position at the main gate of the castle.

Turning around, Naruto sighed and kneeled down next to Kurohane. "I'm sorry about this, I truly am." for the first time since she had met him, Naruto's voice held true remorse, and he hadn't even done anything!

Kurohane tried to speak, but found she couldn't make a single sound, and it was becoming harder to breath by the second. The desperate choking noises she made alerted Naruto of the problem.

'Shit, the venom is causing her lungs to shut down.' sending an apologetic look at Kurohane, Naruto ripped the three barbs from her body, nearly cringing himself when he saw her face contort in agony. "Sorry." he whispered before gathering the summon girl into his arms and teleporting to the medical ward of the castle.

The ward looked completely out of place in the castle. Whereas everything else had the medieval dungeon look, this place looked like a normal hospital, except it was more...lively, with more vivid colors than the pale blues, greens, and grays of a normal hospital.

This was the hospital Naruto had set up for himself, as he hated normal ones, and trusted only a very, very small percentage of Konoha General's medical staff. While Naruto's natural regenerative abilities and Kyuubi healed his wounds, every now and then he would end up in a state where he needed a bit more help. Usually, this came in the form of a botched experiment involving either a new technique, or a new poison. Why, in the month after Naruto became a part of Team Seven, he had blown himself up twelve times, and had poisoned himself twenty-three times.

That being the case, all of the antidotes were kept here, including the one for the deadly toxin of the Gatekeeper.

"Hey, Doc, this girl here was attacked by the Gatekeeper." Naruto said to the humanoid Shadow Beast in the white lab coat.

The Doc turned around, revealing a man that looked similar to Commander D, though he was much less pale, had small, rectangular reading glasses, and yellow eyes. His short, light brown hair was slicked back, giving him quite a sinister look when combined with his eyes, and a light green surgical mask hung from around his neck.

He rose an eyebrow at the girl before turning to a rather large cabinet, which contained various antidotes for most of the poisons and venoms Naruto often toyed around with.

"I wasn't aware that you were accepting visitors." the Doc fingered through different vials containing fluids and powders of almost every conceivable color.

"I'm not. I just happen to know her, and why she's here." Naruto placed Kurohane down on one of the surprisingly comfortable tables.

"Hm, right." the Doc hid his knowing smirk before picking up a vial of pale blue liquid. "Ah, here we are, G-Nineteen." he picked up a syringe and stuck the needle through the cork on the vial while turning it upside-down. He turned back to Kurohane and briefly scanned her injuries. "Three puncture wounds. My, my, that's a lot of venom!" he let out a small whistle and pulled the plunger on the needle, filling it with the antidote. "But this will have her right as rain in a few minutes!" he suddenly appeared next to Kurohane. "You may feel some pain." with that, he stuck the needle into her neck and depressed the plunger, injecting the life-saving fluid into her veins.

Kurohane's back arched as the antidote immediately took effect, purging the venom from her bloodstream. Naruto held her firmly, pumping small amounts of his own chakra into her to keep her from going into shock from the pain. He'd been given that antidote before, back when it was in the early stages of development, and it had hurt like a bitch! It was originally meant to counter the venom of Onigumo, but it was later discovered that the chemical composition of the Gatekeeper's venom wasn't all that different from the toxin used by the demon spiders. In fact, it and the venom in the Corpser's stinger were nearly identical.

Eventually the spasms passed and Kurohane laid still on the table, breathing heavily, but unhindered. Her eyes fluttered open slowly and she tried to sit up, but found herself being held down.

"Wha...?" she muttered, confused by what had happened and how she had gotten to this unfamiliar place.

"You might not want to move for a few minutes." the Doc said, washing his hands in the sink.

"Who are you?"

"That's the Doc." Naruto answered, causing her to turn her attention to him, then his hand, which was still pinning her down. The hand was withdrawn quickly. "Sorry."

Kurohane smiled tiredly. "Aw, I wanted you to move it down a bit."

Naruto chuckled. "Even after being pulled away from the Shinigami's doorstep, you're still willing to get into it with me."

Kurohane's smirk widened. "I'm more than willing to get into anything with you, Naruto-kun..." she slowly moved her left hand from her side and ran it up Naruto's thigh. "All you have to do is ask."

Naruto glanced at the hand that was now hovering around his crotch and grinned. He grabbed both of her arms and spun her around on the table until her legs were on either side of his waist, then he slammed his hands down on the table next to Kurohane's head and leaned in.

"Are you sure about that? I might get a bit..._rough _with you." he dug his claws into the metal and dragged them down, shredding the steel like it was paper.

"Hey, don't do that!" the Doc complained. "If you're gonna get all S&M, at least do it in another room!"

Naruto looked up. "If you don't wanna see it, you can leave." he grabbed Kurohane's waist and pulled her until their hips came in contact with each other and she could feel his hardened member pressing against her through their clothes.

"Wha-What?" despite all of her teasing, Kurohane was, as Zabuza had pointed out so many times in the past, a virgin. That being said, she didn't want her first time to consist of a brutal fucking on a steel operating table! While the table was strangely comfortable, it was the principle of it that bothered her.

Naruto leaned down and whispered into her ear through clenched teeth. "_This_ is all your fault!" he seethed. "You could NOT have chosen a worse time to come here. Kyuubi and I were right in the middle of _something_, and then here come the servants, telling us that we've got an intruder!"

Kurohane, who was having trouble speaking over the raging fire building in her loins, stuttered out her meek reply. "I'm...sorry?"

Naruto simply snorted. "Whatever. Come on, I suppose I'll give you the 'grand tour'. Maybe then you can tell me why you're here." giving her thigh a light smack, Naruto back out from between Kurohane's legs and pulled her to her feet, catching her as dizziness made her fall into him. "Come on, don't be such a wimp, Kuro-chan."

With a huff, Kurohane pushed herself off of Naruto's chest and stood on her own. She wobbled a bit, but was fine once someone handed her, her scythe.

"Thanks...Oh shit." she had looked over to thank whoever had given her weapon back, but instead of Naruto or the "Doc", she found herself looking at another blade-armed monster like the two that had given her such a hard time not even twenty minutes ago.

"Don't worry about him, he won't harm you." Naruto assured as the Slayer Captain gave something akin to a greeting wave.

Nevertheless, Kurohane found herself hiding behind Naruto's back as soon as the creature twitched. "What the hell is that thing?"

"That is a Slayer, a Captain, to be precise. I believe two of them gave you quite a fight after you destroyed all of those Soldiers. They are just a few of the many Shadow Beasts I've created here." Naruto said, a small amount of pride lacing his words.

Kurohane looked at Naruto, obviously shocked. He'd had access to the Shadow Realm for less than a year, and already he'd made some fairly powerful monsters.

"What about the Minotaur?" she shuddered a bit. That beast had definitely been the most terrifying thing she'd ever seen, short of her father when he was pissed off.

"Minotaur? Oh, you mean the Gatekeeper! No, I didn't make him, he just appeared here one day. Come, you have much to be shown, and not much time for me to show you." Naruto started pushing her out the door.

"What? Why?"

"Because Kyuu-chan's walking around here horny and pissed off. She's going to find me eventually, and finish what she started, so I have to show you as much of this place as I can before she drags me off." and they were off to the first point of interest on the tour: the Line.

(Five Minutes Later)

"And this is where each and every one of the creatures you've seen on the way here have come from. This is the Line!"

The Line was basically like an assembly line in a factory. When making a new Shadow Beast, each different body part was constructed first, using a huge battery charged with Naruto's own chakra.

"Take the Slayers for example." Naruto pointed Kurohane to a Slayer that was near completion, with the right arm currently being attached by three Engineers; humanoid beasts that all wore basic gas masks, hardhats, black shirts, brown heavy-duty pants, and boots. "Each arm is created separately, each leg, each head and torso; all if it has to be put together to make the final product. This is why no two Slayers are alike. Some have heavy cutting blades, and others have lighter blades more suited for stabbing. Some have masks to hide their faces, and some don't have faces at all."

Kurohane nodded in understanding, noting that the process was somewhat simpler than she had at first thought. "What's with their heads? And why are their limbs replaced with those blades?"

Naruto chuckled. "They, like most of the beasts I've created, are symbolic; they represent something else. These Slayers represent all of the enemies I've decapitated over the years. This is the reason for both the blades and their unattached heads. It's also the reason they always go for the head when they attack." he seemed to examine his reflection in the polished blade on the Slayer's left arm before moving on. "Well, you've seen the incomplete Shadow Beasts, so what say we go see the completed ones? Follow me, we're going to the Hanger next." Naruto then walked down the length of the Line and into the area beyond it, Kurohane close behind.

After a few minutes, mostly consisting of Naruto assuring Kurohane that none of the Slayers were "alive", and that they weren't going attack her, they finally set foot into the Hanger. This was the area in which the completed "prototype" Shadow Beasts awaited inspection.

Kurohane nodded in appreciation of some of the monsters that simply stood there like dolls, but one in particular caught her eye and held it. This creature was large, over thirty feet in height and weighing many tons. It had eight legs, a stone-like hide, and a long tail tipped with a huge stinger.

"You...You kept that thing?" Kurohane shrieked.

"Yeah, so? It's strong as hell, and look at it, you can't tell me that doesn't scream 'badass'! It could be incredibly useful as a summon, especially since I don't have anything that can make tunnels like this guy."

"But still...That thing tried to kill us!"

"So? The fact that it came close to succeeding just makes me want to keep it even more. It's a big-ass spider/scorpion thing with near impregnable armor and laser eyes!" Naruto grabbed Kurohane by the shoulders and shook her. "Laser eyes, woman!" he suddenly disappeared, then reappeared atop the Corpser's head. "He's like the world's most dangerous strobe light!" he unsheathed the Black Soul and gazed at the blade lovingly. "And now to bring him back to life! I call forth the soul of this great Onigumo! You are released from your prison and shall live again as my eternal servant! Stalk this land once more, Corpser!" the Black Soul pulsed with a purple aura before Naruto jammed it into the Corpser's head.

Once the blade penetrated, a shockwave traveled down the demon's body and to the ground, where it spread out with such force that most of the smaller Shadow Beasts in the Hanger toppled over.

Naruto hopped off of the creature's head and landed at Kurohane's side, then sheathed the Black Soul and awaited the results of the Soul Transfer.

'Come on...Come on!' the boy mentally urged. He'd never done that with a beast as large as the Corpser, and combined with the fact that it was a demon, not a Shadow Beast, it was impossible to predict what was going to happen. Everything could go according to plan and the Corpser would be a humble servant and vicious fighter, or it could go berserk and take out half the castle before they managed to stop it. But the demon was far too powerful to not take the chance. If he could gain this beast as a summon, he'd hold an immense advantage in battle, as well as a tactical advantage with its digging abilities.

Kurohane let out a breath she didn't know she'd been holding when the demon didn't even twitch. "Better luck next time?" she patted Naruto's shoulder.

Naruto simply smirked and pointed at the demon. "Luck won't be necessary."

The Corpser inhaled, a loud, hissing noise, like steam escaping from a broken pipe. Then, one by one, its legs moved, spreading out and stretching away from its body before slamming down on the floor, cracking it and causing minor tremors throughout the castle. Slowly rising to its full height of forty-five feet, the demon let out a piercing, shrieking roar, nothing like its original one. It then slowly tilted its head to look at the two puny beings before it. Its first instinct was to crush them into oblivion, but it soon recognized one of them as its master and gave a sort of respectful bow.

Naruto tapped his chin thoughtfully. "Hmm...It seems he's lost the ability to speak...Oh well, he still retained his previous intelligence, so it's no problem." he snapped his fingers and a large, floating cylinder appeared out of thin air. It spun around once before a compartment opened up in the side and a small glass ball rolled out, which Naruto picked up. "Into the orb you go, at least until I have a use for you." he tossed the ball into the air, where it hovered and started to spin rapidly.

A flash of blinding light later, and the Corpser was gone and the orb was no longer empty. It was now filled with a glowing green gas; the body and soul of the Corpser. The orb floated down to Naruto, who placed it back inside of the cylinder and sent it back to wherever it had come from.

Noticing the look on Kurohane's face, Naruto decided to explain. "That was a Summoning Orb, a personal creation of Kyuubi's. It's like a Summoning Scroll, but instead of pulling the summoned creature from the Summon Realm, the creature is already there, all you have to do is break the orb to release it. No hand seals, no blood, no contracts, and no random summons. You can summon what you want, whenever you want to, and in any environment. Want to summon something underwater? A shark or a giant squid, perhaps? Fine, just set the delay, drop it in the water, and wait for it to explode and release the animal. So, you see, Summoning Orbs are so much better than Summoning Scrolls, but the whole imprisonment thing probably wouldn't fly for most Summons."(2)

"...Okay..." Kurohane had pretty much tuned him out, thinking more than enough information about summoning had been crammed into her head during her classes.

Naruto seemed to pick up on this, but shrugged it off. "Come, we've spent too much time here, time to go." he used his cloak to push her out of the Hanger and back into the hallways of the castle.

"Why'd you call it 'Corpser'? I know it sorta fits, but it's a bit of an odd name, don't you think?" Kurohane asked as she allowed herself to be herded out of the huge room.

"...You're asking a guy named after a ramen topping about weird names?" Naruto smiled a bit when he drew a giggle out his bodyguard. "But in all seriousness, I didn't name it. Remember when we were attacked by it in the Namikaze Compound? That disembodied voice called it 'The Corpser'. I couldn't really think of a better name for it, so I just kept it."

(Fifteen Minutes Later)

"And there we are, a complete, though very quick, tour of the Chuushin no Yami!" Naruto sighed, he wanted to give a better tour, but he simply didn't have the time. About halfway through he felt Kyuubi's presence. It was subtle, which meant that she was stalking him, waiting to pounce as soon as he and Kurohane went their separate ways. "Well, the only place left is the Storeroom, where I keep all of the weapons and other crap I take from the people I kill." he snapped his fingers and a Mangler appeared next to him, melting out of the wall. "Show her to the Storeroom."

The monster bobbed up and down once, its version of a nod, then motioned for Kurohane to follow it as it floated down the adjacent hall.

"I, uhh...I'll see you later?" Kurohane rubbed the back of her head, this wasn't turning out how she had planned, but she supposed it couldn't be helped.

"Yeah...later." Naruto waved nervously, he knew Kyuubi was right behind him, and as soon as Kurohane turned that corner, he belonged to the fox. "Be gentle?" he squeaked as Kyuubi's arm snaked around his neck.

**"Not a chance."** Kyuubi whispered into his ear before dragging him back to his room.

**(WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! LEMON AHEAD, SKIP IF YOU WISH!)**

Naruto soon found himself crashing back onto his bed and straddled by Kyuubi, who had locked the door and placed a seal on it keep anyone from coming in and any noises from going out.

"What about foreplay?" while he couldn't deny that he was hard as a rock at the moment, Naruto enjoyed exploring Kyuubi's body, and discovering new hotspots was always fun!

Kyuubi didn't seem to be paying attention to his words at all, she was preoccupied with something else. **"Pants again?" **she growled, digging her claws into Naruto's legs. **"I guess you didn't learn your lesson the last two times." **taking her claws out of Naruto's flesh, Kyuubi grabbed his pants and tore them apart once again and threw them against the far wall, followed by his armored vest.

Naruto had just barely registered what was going on before he found his mask being ripped off and Kyuubi's lips smashed into his. Her own clothes melted off of her, turning into the same black goo and sliding down her body and onto the floor.

Upon seeing Naruto's slightly shocked look when she pulled back from the kiss, Kyuubi flicked his nose playfully. **"What, you thought I only made one Biosuit?"**(3) She lifted her hips, reached down between her legs to grab Naruto's member, lined it up with her dripping center, then plunged down on it all the way to the hilt with a growling moan.

Naruto hissed lowly. While it felt unimaginably good to have his tool once again sheathed in that wet, burning velvet vice, the impact have given his balls more than a bit of a rattle. But Kyuubi seemed not to care, as she kept rising and falling onto him with the same amount of force. In fact, little by little, Naruto found himself not caring as well. The pain was making this experience all the more pleasurable, for both parties.

The bed groaned in protest, as it hadn't been made with this kind of punishment in mind. But the noise it produced was easily drowned out by the almost animalistic grunts, growls, and wails coming from both Kyuubi and Naruto.

**"Come...On...I know...you can...do better...than this!" **Kyuubi hissed out between moans as she noticed that Naruto was barely participating, not that she left much room for him to do so.

"Fine then...you asked for it!" Naruto growled and grabbed Kyuubi's, oh, so perfect ass and slammed her down while thrusting up with all his might.

Kyuubi screamed as her lover's cock plowed through her cervix and her first orgasm tore through her, but she didn't stop. She may have slowed down, but she didn't stop riding her mate. But she couldn't really lift herself anymore, so she settled for simply gyrating her hips and letting Naruto do most of the work.

Naruto, of course, didn't mind at all. Forcing himself not to cum because of Kyuubi's pulsating tunnel, he kept a hold of her ass and continued to pound into her like a man possessed.

**"!" **Kyuubi's vulgar mantra, repeated in time with Naruto's thrusts, finally ended in a loud scream as yet another orgasm overtook her and she collapsed onto Naruto.

This time Naruto couldn't resist the call of his mate's honey pot and came with a demonic roar, then latched onto Kyuubi's neck, right over his mark, and bit down hard.

The feeling of Naruto's hot sperm rushing into her womb, as well as the bite to her greatest hotspot, set Kyuubi off on her most powerful orgasm yet. Her juices flowed out around Naruto's cock along with a bit of his own sperm, making a mess of the bed sheets, not that either of them cared.

But the bite had done what it was meant to do; it brought Kyuubi out of her debilitating afterglow.

She grabbed Naruto by the throat and leaned down whisper in his ear, all the while clenching her pussy as tightly as she could, making it nearly impossible for Naruto to move, regardless of lubrication.

**"Harder."** she ordered, keeping hold of Naruto's neck and staring into his eyes. Her long crimson hair cascaded down around their heads, creating a silky curtain to block out the outside world so that he could focus solely on her.

Try as he might, Naruto couldn't move at all, let alone increase upon his previous pace. But that didn't stop him from trying. Lifting Kyuubi's hips up himself, then slamming her down while thrusting up, but even then he could surpass the mating speed of a giant tortoise. It was actually starting to cause intense pain, but that only spurred Naruto on.

Kyuubi, however, wasn't impressed. She growled and backhanded Naruto across the face, leaving four long slashes across his cheek, then returned her hand to his neck, squeezing it tighter.

**"I'm not in the mood for games, Naruto." **she growled lowly, her eyes glowing furiously.

Naruto's previous look of surprise because of the smack slowly changed to one of pure evil, his demented grin showing off his new shark-like teeth.

"Aw, but Kyuu-chan, games make everything more fun!" he grabbed her by the neck. "And I know just the one I'd like to play!" with a grunt he lifted the unsuspecting demoness off of his slightly sore rod and tossed her into the wall by the bed.

Kyuubi coughed as the wind was knocked out of her, but before she even hit the floor Naruto was upon her, smashing his body into hers and pushing her further into the huge dent she had made in the wall.

"I just thought this one up, haven't even come up with a name for it yet!" Naruto violently slammed his cock into Kyuubi and grabbed his ass to support her. "But trust me, it's great _fun_." he pulled out until only the head remained inside, then slammed back in even harder than before, actually causing a tremor to rock the wall as well as Kyuubi.

While this kind of treatment would send normal women to the hospital, Kyuubi was in a state of pure bliss. She felt light-headed and her thought process was all but non-existent. Her body was on autopilot, holding on to Naruto by instinct alone. Oh yeah, this is what she wanted! This was what she had been shooting for with her whole Dominatrix routine. She'd been hoping to antagonize Naruto into taking control, but this had been a little unexpected, though not at all unpleasant.

Momentarily regaining the ability to string words together, Kyuubi wrapped her arms around Naruto's neck and her legs around his waist in an attempt to restrict his movements.

**"Fuck me, you little bastard! Stop playing around!" **Kyuubi's head flung back and she released a silent scream as Naruto shifted slightly and hit a special spot within her.

Naruto, not appreciating being called "little", growled and lunged at Kyuubi's bouncing breasts, taking right nipple into his mouth and sucking on it much harder than her usually did. At first he gently rolled the nipple between his tongue and lips, being mindful of his new set of extremely sharp teeth. But then a thought struck him.

'Why should I be gentle?' he was being far from gentle with the rest of her body, hammering into her snatch with reckless abandon, foregoing any kind of rhythm for the moment, so why should he be careful with her tits?

Mentally shrugging, Naruto bit down on the nipple in his mouth, not hard enough to sever it, but enough to draw blood, which he readily sucked up like a vampiric infant.

The sudden pain added to the pleasure of being relentlessly pounded and having her breasts fondled set Kyuubi off on yet another orgasm. She leaned/fell into Naruto, laying her head on his shoulder.

**"You little...asshole...Do the other one." **the vixen commanded, hissing as Naruto started to intentionally bash the entrance to her womb. This told Kyuubi that he was nearing his limit and was about to do something sneaky and underhanded to get her off at least two more times before he came.

Naruto smirked and licked the side of his mate's neck. "Funny you should mentions assholes..." he suddenly disappeared, seeming to phase right through Kyuubi's arms like a ghost. For less than a sixth of a second Kyuubi was left hanging in midair, then Naruto reappeared behind her and trust his member deep into her ass.

**"OH KAMIIIIII!" **Kyuubi shrieked as she came again. Yep, there it was, the completely underhanded move on Naruto's part. But damned if she didn't love it when he pulled that kind of shit!

Naruto grinned as he took her from behind, sitting her on her hands and knees on the side of the bed. "'Naruto' works just fine for me, but thanks anyway." he reached under Kyuubi to fondle her swinging breasts once again.

**"Shut it...bastard...I'm going to...get you back...for this..." **Kyuubi knew that it was an empty threat. She enjoyed anal almost as much as vaginal sex, especially when her partner knew exactly what he was doing, like Naruto.

"Yeah, whatever, Queenie." Naruto took one hand and slowly slid it down Kyuubi's body until it came into contact with her dripping, burning, pulsing cunt. He briefly contemplated using his claws for this one, but decided against it. He didn't want to be THAT rough. "Ready or not..." he leaned over licked Kyuubi's ear and gave her clit a little rub, "Here I cum!" he then jammed his middle and ring fingers into her pussy and hooked them up to press on her G-spot.(4)

Kyuubi's eyes widened and her jaw hung open, a small choking/gasping sound coming from her mouth. Her pupils dilated before her eyes rolled up into her head and she unleashed a bestial roar before passing out from her most intense orgasm since her first time with Naruto.

Naruto released his own roar as Kyuubi's anal passage clenched violently, milking the cum out of his more than eager cock. After emptying his balls, he suddenly felt light-headed and disoriented. So much so that after pulling his softening member from the slumbering demon Queen he collapsed onto the floor.

Laying there until he regained his senses, Naruto heard the sound of the door being opened and sweatdropped. Apparently, Kyuubi's seal was cancelled with her passing out, and it was no secret at all that a lock was far from a deterrent to a ninja. Hopping to his feet, the Genin greeted his new guest without a care in the world.

"Hello, Kuro-chan! Find everything okay?" Naruto simply stood there like nothing was wrong. Like he wasn't buck naked with his crotch covered in both his and Kyuubi's "love juice". Like Kyuubi wasn't passed out with her ass in the air and leaking sperm from both her holes. Like he was wearing his mask and Kurohane couldn't see his satisfied grin.

Kurohane, of course, took notice of all of this, and promptly pulled a Hinata and fainted on the spot.

Naruto simply looked at her twitching form, snickering at her nosebleed. "Meh, she'll come to in an hour or so. In the meantime, I need a shower." yes, sticky thighs were never a good thing. Whistling an oddly upbeat tune, Naruto headed off to the shower.

**(WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! LEMON OVER!)**

(One Hour Later)

We find a now conscious, clean and dressed Kyuubi sitting on the bed pointlessly filing her claws and glancing at the still knocked out Kurohane every few minutes. Naruto was sitting in a recliner bored out of his mind and flinging shadow kunai at the ceiling to form pictures. Currently he had made Kyuubi's insignia and was now starting on the Uzumaki symbol.

**"It's been an hour, but she's still out of it. I believe that means you lose the bet." **Kyuubi eyed Naruto slyly.

The boy snorted. "I said an hour OR SO! That means it could been under an hour or over and hour. So, technically, it's impossible for me to lose this bet."

Kyuubi smirked. **"But you always manage to find some way to do the impossible, so why stop now?"**

"I prefer to stay within the realm of limited possibilities for the moment. But, since we're on the subject, do you happen to remember what we designated as prizes for this bet?"

Kyuubi shrugged. **"For me, another favor. For you, hell if I know."**

"Meh, fine. To give you a fair chance, let's say that I did say an exact hour." Naruto relented.

**"Then you lose." **Kyuubi narrowed her eyes, her mate was up to something.

Naruto simply smirked as he held his mask up to his face and gazed into the vacant eye slits. "Quite the contrary, my dear Kyuu-chan. It will have been an hour in thirty-seven seconds." Naruto started his mental countdown. "...And Kuro-chan will awaken in five...four...three...two...now."

"Mmmm...Wha? Where am I?" Kurohane rolled onto her back and sat up in the bed.

"Welcome back to the land of the living." Naruto greeted with gentle smile.

Kurohane had to admit that seeing Naruto smile scared her a whole lot more than the angry demoness stomping around the room and spouting off a string of rather colorful curses...in at least seventeen different languages.

"Umm...H-Hello...Naruto-kun..." no matter how hard she tried, Kurohane just couldn't get the image of a naked Naruto out of her head! Now every time she looked at him he'd be without clothes! Hell, at this very moment she was imagining him without his mask! '...Wait...that's real!' "Y-Y-Y-Y-You...Ah...The, um...You don't...Mask." looking into his eyes, the Raven Princess suddenly found herself unable to form sentences.

Naruto looked at the mask in his hand. "Yeah, I took it off." he said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world...which it was at the time.

Kurohane could only stare at him dumbly. "...Why?" she found her eyes drawn to his, nearly losing herself in them. These eyes, if the rumors she'd heard were true, could freeze even the toughest of men and make their hearts stop dead. But Kurohane wasn't a man, and her heart hadn't stopped at all...but it skipping beats so often couldn't have been healthy. She imagined the eyes as shining glaciers, the slitted pupils deep crevasses in the ice, and never before had she found herself so willing to take the plunge into the unknown. She idly wondered what would await her at the bottom of those deep pits, what kind of mysteries would she unravel, what questions would she find answers to? What would she see if she was able to let herself fall into the abyss and peer into the mind of such a troubled boy?

Oh, if she only knew...

"What you're doing right now is the reason I wear this mask." Naruto deadpanned, leaning back a bit to put a few more inches of distance between his face and Kurohane's.

Snapping out of her trance, Kurohane blinked in confusion before recoiling when she found her face just inches from Naruto's.

"I'm sorry! I don't know what came over me, I just looked into your eyes and...and..." it was happening again.

Naruto sighed and placed the mask over his face. "Better?"

"No-I mean yes! Yes, much better...more normal..." Kurohane scratched the back of her head nervously.

"Now do you understand why I wear the mask? Imagine a hundred other girls all doing what you just did, but with a LOT less self-control. At least you snapped out of it." Naruto grumbled something under his breath. "Anyway, back to my main question, which I never got around to asking earlier." he looked at Kyuubi, who just innocently blew him a kiss. "Why are you here?"

Kurohane shifted on the bed to make herself more comfortable before speaking. "Well, I'm here because of everyone, really. They ALL want to know where you are and if you're alright."

Naruto cocked his head slightly. "As you can plainly see, I'm fine." this was a bit of a lie, the truth was that Naruto felt better than he had in years! Six, to be precise. "In fact...for the first time in a long while I feel like I'm truly...free. I haven't felt like this since I was a naive little boy, running the streets with a grin on my face and not a care in the world!" it's important to note that he had only done this one time. 'I happened to run into my first mob that day...So much for "not a care in the world".'

Kyuubi suddenly appeared behind Naruto and trapped him in a hug. **"See! You can smile! And you said you didn't remember how." **

Though they couldn't see it, Naruto's smile turned from gleeful to sad, but both women certainly felt the change in the mood. "I didn't remember a lot of things when I said that..." those previously sealed memories chose that moment to act up again. Naruto released a low growl as memory after memory assaulted him. From minor things like being picked on at the orphanage, to major events like his first and only Yondaime Festival. 'I believe they buried me alive that night...' he could almost taste the dirt that filled his mouth while those drunken bastards piled it on top of him.

That was back when Kyuubi couldn't look out for him all too well because of his age. At three years old, Naruto's body couldn't handle the amount of youki it would take to lift the dirt off of him. Instead she focused on keeping the soil from crushing him and keeping him alive even though he couldn't breath. He was found two days later by the Sandaime, who happened to have been close enough to sense Kyuubi's youki at the time. After using his very strong Earth alignment to part the near two tons of dirt that had been piled on him, the Hokage found Naruto on the brink of death from severe chakra poisoning. Spending two days underground with youki as the only thing keeping you alive wasn't healthy in the least, especially not for a three year old child.

The culprits were severely punished, put to death by, wouldn't you know it, live burial.

Kurohane noticed both Naruto and Kyuubi's sudden change in behavior and felt the irresistible urge to give Naruto a hug.

Imagine Naruto's surprise when he felt another pair of arms wrap around his neck and a second head rest itself on his right shoulder while Kyuubi looked on over his left.

The masked shinobi turned to Kyuubi for an answer, but only found her grinning madly.

'What are you up to?' Naruto's mental question was picked up by Kyuubi.

**'Who, me? Up to something? Hah! Preposterous.' **Kyuubi waved him off, though she was still grinning.

'Now I know you're up to something.' Naruto wrapped one arm around Kurohane's back. "It's alright, I'm fine, really." Kurohane pulled back and looked at him, idly noting that, for some reason, he didn't seem as intimidating with the mask as he had before. "So, everyone's worried about me, eh?" Kurohane nodded. "Well, I suppose I should grace them all with my presence to ease their minds." he sighed overdramatically, like he was about to exert great and unnecessary effort in just getting out of his seat. "Kyuu-chan, would you mind going to find Nightmare? I'm not leaving here without the both of you...No telling what he's been doing while unsupervised."

Oh yes, Kyuubi wasn't the only one to gain a body while in the Shadow Realm. As soon as Nightmare was freed, he took off to explore the castle(read: annoy the hell out of everyone and everything he came across.)

"And could you be quick about it? There haven't been any major explosions since your little rampage, so I assume he and Diaboros haven't stumbled upon one another. But it's only a matter of time, and if those two get into it...Well, let's just say we won't be leaving this place for a while." Naruto shooed Kyuubi off, hoping that she could find the wayward knight and keep him from leveling the entire castle. While he may not have had access to his full power, he was still a force to be reckoned with.

(Twenty Minutes Later)

_"Ow! Stop being so rough, dammit!"_ Nightmare's voice rang out as he complained about being dragged through the halls by Kyuubi.

**"Oh, quit bitching. You're an S-Class demon, for fuck's sake, act like one!" **the demoness huffed.

_"Oh, now I know that YOU, of all demons, aren't telling me to 'act my age'! You__'re an SS-Class Bijū__, yet you can't even make a decent sound seal! That's right, we ALL heard you!"_ Nightmare glared at Kyuubi.

The vixen just shrugged. **"I did that on purpose...to make Naruto feel better."**

_"...I suppose that makes sense..."_ the Azure Knight began to sniff the air. _"You smell that?"_

**"Smell what?"**

_"Smells like...shit...Bullshit, to be exact."_ Nightmare turned to Kyuubi and deadpanned.

Kyuubi, at first, seemed to just ignore the comment...until she smashed him into a wall. **"Whoops, sorry, muscle spasm." **though she was trying to sound innocent she couldn't hide the evil smirk that graced her lips.

Nightmare just grumbled something incoherent, then was smashed into another wall. _"...Ow..."_

**"Whoops again!" **

Bang!

_"Ow!"_

**"Sorry!"**

Bang!

_"OW!"_

**"I said I was sorry!"**

BANG!

_"FUCKIN' OW! STOP IT, YOU SADISTIC WHORE!"_

**"..."**

Crack!

**"...Can't say I'm sorry about that one."**

_"...Sadist..."_

**"Takes one to know one, as they say."**

"Yes, yes, we're all sadistic assholes here. Now that we've established that, would you mind postponing Nightmare's concussion so we can get the hell out of here?" Naruto said as Kyuubi rounded the last corner, once again smashing Nightmare into the wall while turning.

He stood in the hall outside of his room, leaning against the wall next to the door and tapping his foot impatiently.

Kurohane, who was leaning on the wall across from Naruto, furrowed her brow. "Wait a minute, I'm not sadistic!"

_"But you're a virgin...and a chick...and a virgin! How can you not be a sadist?"_

"You're being sexist now." Naruto chimed in, absently noticing Kurohane stalking towards Nightmare, scythe raised above her head.

_"You call it sexism, I call it truth! Afterall, I speak from thousands of years of experience, an-FUCKIN' OW!"_ Nightmare clutched his head and pointed up at Kurohane, as he was still sitting on the floor where Kyuubi had dropped him. _"I fuckin' knew it! Sadist!"_

Crack!

_"Sadist!"_

Crack!

_"Sadist!"_

Crack!

_"Sadist!"_

Crack, crack, crack, CRACK!

_"SADIST, SADIST, SADIST, SADISTIC FUCKING VIRGIN!"_ Nightmare screamed, refusing to back down, thus prompting Kurohane to prove his point.

**"Fucking masochist."** Kyuubi grumbled, but Nightmare caught it and slowly turned to her.

_"What was that, Ms. Pain Slut?"_

WHAM!

**"You see? Only someone with an extreme love for pain would say something like that."** Kyuubi said, cracking her knuckles.

Nightmare just glared up at her, the fist-shaped dent in his helm repairing itself. _"Well, you're partially right, I do love pain..."_ he bowed his head as he stood up. _"But not just receiving it. You see, I'm not a sadist or a masochist...I have the best of both worlds, for I am..."_ the torches lining the walls suddenly went out.

"I got it." Naruto mumbled before snapping his fingers and relighting the torches.

The sight that greeted their eyes made them wish he hadn't done that.

_"A SADOMASOCHIST!"_ Nightmare not stood before them, his armor gone and replaced with a blue spandex bodysuit, wearing a pair of red swimming trunks on the outside of his clothes, and a red cape fluttering in the unexplainable breeze. His helm was gone, replaced by a skintight leather mask with slits for the eyes and nose and a zipper over the mouth. Embroidered on his chest inside of a yellow diamond were the letters "S" and "M".

Naruto, Kyuubi and Kurohane could only stand there and gape in shock and disgust.

"Wha...What..." Kurohane stuttered.

**"I...don't know...I...I don't know."** Kyuubi started to shake her head in denial.

Naruto's head was cocked so far to the side that even a praying mantis would go "What the fuck?" and an owl would whistle in astonishment.

Nightmare saw their reactions and basked in their horror. _"Yes, that's right, gaze upon me with envy, for thou shall never be sadomasochists!"_

Kyuubi slowly raised her hand. **"Um...I'm a sadomasochist as well...you should know that by now."**

Naruto, whose head was back on correctly, also raised his hand. "Yeah, I'm definitely a sadomasochist. Though I prefer being the one dishing out the pain, I fucking _love_ it when Kyuu-chan gets rough!" he said with a grin.

The wind suddenly stopped blowing, causing Nightmare's cape to fall to the floor. _"Fuck you and everything you stand for!"_ the knight cursed as his "Bondage Man" costume burned away and the ashes reverted back to his normal armor.(5)

Everyone then looked at Kurohane, who hadn't raised her hand. "...What?"

Naruto took hold of her right arm and lifted it in the air. "You are sadomasochist." he spoke in a very odd accent(think stereotypical Chinese takeout guy).

"What? No!" Kurohane ripped her arm from his grasp.

"Yes, you sadomasochist, don't lie." Naruto grabbed her arm and raised it again.

"No, I don't like pain at all! Now can we please get going? I'm hungry as hell and I want sushi."

"Shut up, you no hungry for sushi, you hungry for leather and chain, don't lie!" he kept her hand in the air. "There, you see? You are sadomasochist. We all sadomasochist...like one big, fucked up family." while this was all funny on its own, the fact that he was still using that weird voice had Kyuubi and Nightmare about to collapse and Kurohane was sent into a giggling fit.

Shrugging, Naruto snapped his fingers again and Nightmare and Kyuubi's bodies dissolved into black dust, which was absorbed into the eye slits of his mask. He then found himself feeling light-headed again and leaned against the wall, shaking his head to clear the dizziness.

"You alright, Naruto-kun?" Kurohane, who had gotten her laughter under control, looked at Naruto as he wobbled in his first few steps.

"Yeah...I'm fine now. You ready?" receiving a nod, Naruto allowed his cloak to envelope them both before sinking into the darkness of an unlit hallway and vanishing.

(Human World)

'This is starting to get interesting.' Zabuza thought as he and Anko sat on the couch, watching Hinata and Haku attempt to outdo each other in various(and mostly pointless)tasks.

These ranged from cleaning and cooking, to cards and Shogi. So far the score was tied at seven to seven, based on the point system they had made and forced Kiriko and Chigusa to monitor. Haku had dominated cards and Shogi, while Hinata was a master cook and maid. While Haku could work wonders with plants, she couldn't cook to save her life...In fact, her cooking was more suited to _ending_ lives, a fact Zabuza and Chigusa could attest to. At least Kiriko had the sense to stay away from things that smelled weird. Last time she checked, fish wasn't supposed to smell like chocolate.

Hinata and Haku were currently engaged in a tie-breaker competition, this one testing physical strength: arm wrestling.

"Come on...I'm barely even trying!" the sweat building on her forehead betrayed Hinata's words.

"Really now?...What a...coincidence...neither am I!" once again, the girl's body betrayed her bravado. Gritting her teeth, she silently swore as her wrist was beginning to give under the pressure.

Under normal circumstances, Haku was the stronger of the two by far. But now that Hinata had a worthwhile prize(it had been decided that the winner would get to ask Naruto out on a date without the other interfering in any way), she was in it to win it! Plus, she was subconsciously tapping into a certain hidden potential that just happened to be of a demonic nature. Unfair advantage, maybe, but you know what they say; everything's fair when you're the only one who knows that it's not.

"Your student's going down." Zabuza whispered to Anko.

The purple-haired assassin turned to the swordsman. "What? I can practically hear your girl's wrist snapping right now! You hear that? That's her arm screaming for relief! Hinata's got this in the bag." she crossed her arms over her chest with a smirk.

"Hm, you like to dream?" both shinobi had money riding on the outcome, so it was a given that they'd been rooting for their students...If you can call trading barbs rooting for anyone.

Both shinobi leaned in as Hinata's arm started to go over, Haku's strength apparently too much for her to handle any longer. But wait! Hinata was coming back! And now it's Haku that's in trouble!

"Come on, Hina-chan, you can do it!" Anko cheered, though she whispered her encouragement, didn't need to distract Hinata.

"I taught you better than this, Haku, I know you can beat her!" Zabuza did the same, sweat starting to run down his forehead. He had a lot of money on this!

"So, what's goin' on, how much did you bet, and who's winning?" Naruto stood behind the couch, him and Kurohane having just come through from the Shadow Realm.

"Arm wrestling, five-thousand, Hinata." Anko muttered, not really registering Naruto's presence.

"What? Bullshit! Use your eyes, woman, Haku's almost got her!" Zabuza quietly seethed, pointing at the competition. Indeed, Haku did have Hinata's hand very close to the table.

"As that perverted cyclops would say: look underneath the underneath."

Naruto sweatdropped. "...Okay, I want in."

"How much?" both Jōnin said mechanically.

"Hmm...how about another five-thousand?" Naruto pulled a small pouch filled with ryō, which was snatched by Zabuza, who didn't even turn around.

"On who?" Anko asked, not turning to look at who she was speaking to.

"Hmm...Depends, what do they get for winning?" Naruto rubbed his chin.

"A date with Naruto." Anko answered.

Kurohane's head snapped up at that. "What? I want in, t-!" Naruto covered her mouth so she wouldn't distract the girls, who still hadn't taken notice of him, or anything else besides each other.

"No, Kuro-chan, that would be unfair...But you could go up against Anko next, that should be good."

Anko simply waved them off. "Yeah, yeah, shut up, will ya'? You're ruining Hina-chan's concentration."

Naruto simply shrugged. 'Hmm...Well, I already owe Hinata a date because of _someone_, so betting on her would accomplish nothing. But if I bet on Haku it will no doubt hurt Hinata's feelings...'

**"Quite a pickle you've got here, hm?" **a certain demoness chirped.

'Quiet, you. And Nightmare, if you say what I know you're about to, I'm having Kyuubi put that pink armor back on you!' there wasn't a single sound, except for a door slamming...'What do you think, Kyuu-chan?'

**"Well, we've seen how she reacts when you ask her outright, and I doubt you want her knowing that you're only going out with her because you're being forced to as the result of a lost bet. Bet on her, that way you'll have a valid reason for going out with her when she wins."**

'Don't you mean IF she wins?'

**"No, she's going to win, there's no way around it." **Kyuubi said with an air of finality.

'What are you talking about?'

**"Just bet on her and you'll see. And make sure you announce it loud enough so they both can hear it."**

Naruto simply shrugged. 'Very well.' "I'll put my money on Hinata." he said rather loudly.

Both girl's heads snapped to the side as they heard Naruto.

"W-What?" both girls spoke, though one held a tone of hope while the other, sadness.

"I'm betting on you, Hinata-chan, so you'd better win." Naruto nodded to his part-time student.

Grinning like a child given ice cream on a hot summer day, Hinata turned back to Haku and immediately overtook her, slamming her hand down on the table and cheering.

"YES!" two females cheered at once.

"NO!" one man wailed.

"..." one girl just sat on the floor in disbelief.

"I know what you're thinking, and no, I didn't overlook you." Naruto said, crouching down beside Haku, who recoiled in surprise.

"N-N-Naruto-kun...I-It's okay, really...you've been friends with Hinata-san much longer than you've been with me...I guess it's only natural that you'd pick a friend over a relative stranger."

"Who are you trying to convince, me or yourself?" Naruto chuckled. "Doesn't matter, since it's not working on either. But you're right, though, I've been friends with Hinata longer than I had even remembered...and she's held the same affection for me then as she does now. She's always been there, silently cheering me on in everything that I did." Naruto looked over at the Hyūga, who was absolutely beaming. "Look at her. That's the happiest I've ever seen her, and I'd be lying if I said that the fact that it's because of me didn't take my ego up a few notches."

"But...But you two never seemed like that great of friends before...what happened?"

Naruto shrugged. "I...I made myself forget...certain things about my past, and somewhere along the way I forgot her as well. Apparently, she forgot me, to an extent. Years ago, we'd been the best of friends, hell, we were each other's only friends! She used to see me as something of a big brother, someone that could show her a world outside of the one she'd been raised in. And because of that she followed my lead everywhere. As "ninja training" I used to sneak around the entire village, darting from shadow to shadow, hiding in dark alleys and such. I used to run into the most highly populated areas of Konoha and see how long it took people to notice me. Due to my...status in the village, this was extremely dangerous, but it did the trick. Eventually it got to the point that I could sneak past some of the lower Jōnin, and even one ANBU, though I still think he noticed me but decided not to do anything.

And through all of that, no matter how dangerous I told her it was, Hinata was there right behind me. She was almost as good as me, but there was always that gap in our skill levels, which was natural, as I was doing it because it was vital to my survival here at the time, she did it because it was fun. We eventually got another kid, Aburame Shino, to join our little games and we became our own shinobi squad, often led by one Inuzuka Hana." Naruto chuckled as some of his fonder memories flashed before his mind's eye.

Haku, who was sort of creeped out because Naruto wasn't being...creepy, now sat fully facing Naruto, giving him her full attention. "What happened? Why aren't you still a team? You're all Genin, and I believe Inuzuka-san is a Chūnin. I'm sure that, with your relationship with the Hokage, you could have arranged that."

"Multiple reasons, the main one being that I forgot who they were. When I locked my past away, they went with it, and we all went our separate ways. Another reason is that the teams were assigned based on the skills of the Genin assigned to them. For example, Hinata-chan's team are Trackers. She has her eyes, Kiba has his nose and that mutt, and Shino's bugs can locate damn near anything or anyone. My team is the assault team with me and Sasuke at the front and Sakura as the medic...at least that's what I had always assumed her role was. But that theory kinda went out the window when I noticed she couldn't handle large amounts of blood and overreacted ridiculously whenever Sasuke was hurt, mainly just screaming and crying, but not really doing anything to help him. Another reason is that Hana, while, I believe, having sufficient power to be a Jōnin, she prefers to remain a Chūnin so she can pursue her true passion as a veterinarian."

Haku nodded. "So...I guess you're going out with Hinata to get...reacquainted?" she blushed a bit, that sounded a bit too much like a cheesy line from a bad porno movie.

"In a way, yes. We were once best friends, and while I doubt we'll ever be like that again, I can at least try." Naruto stood up along with Haku.

"Why do you say that?"

Naruto looked at her, the eye slits of his mask glowing purple. "While it's true I have gone through a change, I'm still just as brutal as I used to be...perhaps even moreso now." he muttered the last part.

"Onii-chan!" Seizonsha jumped onto her brother's head.

"Hello to you, too, Sei-chan. How are you feeling?" he was referring, of course, to the little kit's second near-death experience, courtesy of a deranged demon that just happened to live within him along with two other, much more powerful and sane demons. 'Nightmare's sanity is in question after that stunt he pulled in the Shadow Realm.' Naruto mentally shuddered.

"She had a few broken ribs, a hairline fracture in her left hind leg, and quite a few bruises and cuts, but before we could even take her to the vet she was already walking." Chigusa said, smiling sweetly as she walked up to Naruto, Kiriko beside her.

"Incredible little fox you've got here, Nii-chan." Kiriko said, scratching Seizonsha behind her left ear, causing her to purr.

"Yes, well, what can I say? She takes after her brother." Naruto laughed.

"That's right!"

It was then that they noticed everyone was staring at them, except for Kurohane, who was still sulking in the corner.

"What?" Naruto cocked his head slightly.

"...You...laughed..." Zabuza said, his non-existent eyebrow twitching, causing Naruto to snicker. "You did it again!" the Jōnin pointed at him, as if accusing the boy of some great travesty.

"Yeah, so? Is that a crime now?" Naruto crossed his arms over his chest.

"But...you don't laugh...you never laugh, no matter how funny a joke is...Well, you did laugh quite a lot when...you...were...Oh, Kami in heaven." Hinata's eyes widened in fear and she backed up.

"What's your problem?" Naruto was getting annoyed now.

"Um...Naruto? Are you...feeling okay?" Anko asked, inching forward slightly.

"Yes, I'm fine. What I want to know is what the hell's up with you people!"

"Naruto-kun...are...are you high again?" Hinata asked, wishing that Anko had taught her the Body Flicker to she could leave before things got messy.

Naruto hung his head. "Goddammit, I can see that that's going to stay with me for life. Now I can't even fucking laugh without people getting paranoid..." he looked at his friends, then burst out laughing, scaring the hell out of them all.

"Holy shit, I knew it! He's high again!" Anko's eye twitched. "Zabuza, help me out here!" she then lunged at Naruto.

"Che, fuck that, woman! He fuckin' headbutted me through a wall last time! You're on your own here, 'cause I'm out!" the swordsman turned to leave but found himself stuck to the floor, as did everyone else.

Looking down, they all saw the reason and cursed. Naruto's shadow has spread out and was attached to all of theirs and created tendrils that held them in place.

"Now that I have your attention, I'd appreciate it if you'd all shut the fuck up and sit the fuck down!" not giving them a choice in the matter, Naruto's tendrils turned into large tentacles that lifted everyone, including Kurohane, and deposited them onto random seats. "Now then..." he snapped his fingers and summoned his "Prince of Darkness" throne, as Anko called it. "I am not high, I am not sick, and I am the real Naruto, otherwise I wouldn't be able to do what I just did, and Seizonsha would be able to tell right away. But, if you still aren't convinced..." he held out his hand and the Black Soul appeared. "Only the real Naruto, or anyone I give permission to, can touch this sword and keep their soul. Otherwise it's near-instant death. Is that good enough for you?"

"Yep." Chigusa.

"No problems here." Kiriko.

"Hey! Watch where you put those tentacles!...Could you move that one up a little higher?" of course, Anko.

"Wow, Naruto...a tentacle monster...Oh no, does anyone have a tissue?" ...Haku...

"I do, but it's in my pocket and this tentacle's got my hand stuck." Zabuza.

"I already knew that you were fine, so why am I here?" Kurohane.

"I had a dream like this once...Made me vow to never eat calamari again. At least these aren't slimy." and finally Hinata.

Naruto sweatdropped. "...Even though only two of you gave me answers, I'm gonna take all that other crap as a 'yes' from all of you. Now then, I'm gonna tell you what you missed, then I want you to tell me what I missed, okay?" his eye twitched when he noticed that no one was paying attention to him. "...Fine, ignore this, assholes!" the ends of the tentacles formed mouths filled with lots of sharp, pointy teeth, bad breath, and high-pitched roars.

"Ack! Okay, okay, shit! You'd make a horrible porno director! Ow! You little fucker!" Zabuza started slugging the tentacle that bit him, knocking out a few of its teeth.

"...I'm all for the kinky shit, but this is uhhhhh...Well, I can't say it's all too different from snakes...A lot more teeth and no venom, but it's still cool...Could you move that other tentacle about two inches to the right? Ah! Thanks." Anko seemed content to just sit there...a little _too_ content...and that smile was just plain disturbing.

"AHHHH! !" fun fact: Haku is actually terrified of snakes! Too bad she was so wrapped up in screaming, otherwise she'd have noticed the odd gleam in Anko's eyes as she stared at the younger female.

"Aw, what's the matter, Haku-chan? Afwaid of the big, bad ol' snakies?" Hinata jeered, speaking as if she were a small child taunting another on the playground. She didn't notice the jaws of one tentacle hovering over her head until it started salivating on her. "Ew, gross!" she looked up and her face drained of what little color it had. "Okay, I'll stop."

Naruto's entire head twitched, then he dropped Hinata and Haku and sent an electric charge through the tentacles to shock Zabuza and Anko.

"OW! You jackass! OW! Fuck! Stop! AH! Goddammit, fine, I'll cooperate, or whatever, just call these things off and stop fucking shocking me!" Zabuza was released.

"Oh! Do it again, do it again! Whoo-hoo! You sure know how to give a girl a good time, Naru-chan!" Anko was released, as she was getting way too much pleasure out of it. "No! I wanna go back!" she pouted.

Naruto just stared at them all and, without a single word, rose from his chair, strolled over to the nearest wall, placed his hands on it, reared back and headbutted the wall so hard that the entire section crumbled.

Turning back to his surprised and slightly disturbed audience, Naruto clapped his hands together.

"What say we start from the top, hm?" it didn't take a genius to figure out that that wasn't a request.

(Twenty Minutes Later)

Naruto, now relaxed and lounging comfortably in his throne, sighed heavily as he let the information he had just been given sink in.

"Okay, let me get this straight. Everyone thought the demon attack on the hospital was my fault, but the Ojii-san made up a cover story that made me seem like some kind of hero. Very few people are buying it, but he's sticking to it, and has the support of you, ANBU Squad Eighteen, Mirano and his staff, and all of the Council members that don't hate my guts. Right so far?" everyone nodded and he continued. "According to the info Anko somehow managed to obtain, Danzo is missing, along with the entirety of his ROOT division, and Ojii-san thinks he's up to something. But seriously, when is that dinosaur NOT up to something? Those are all the major events, right?" more nods. "Well, alright then. Well, I guess I should tell you about my sudden...changes."

(Another Twenty Minutes Later)

The room was silent as the occupants sat there, mouths agape at the story of Naruto's past. None of them had even the slightest clue that he had been through so much at such a young age. Not even Anko, who was the closest to being able to relate to him, followed by Haku, could have imagined anyone going through that kind of hell and living, let alone a mere child!

It was at this moment that each and every person in the room knew that they were outclassed by the boy sitting before them. If not by physical strength or skill, then by pure constitution and determination. Not a single one of them could say that they'd be able to go through what he had and survive, let alone stay sane and not go completely genocidal. Naruto was one of the few people in the world that had every right to become a monster and slaughter all in his path. To become an emotionless killing machine devoted only to vengeance against the entire human race, dedicated to wiping out all mankind.

Of course Naruto had left out any info pertaining to exactly why he was so hated, but they knew it wasn't something he was ready to reveal yet, and only Zabuza, Anko and Kurohane would know about Kyuubi, as they knew long before that day. The fact that Naruto was a hanyou was played off as a simple misjudgment on the part of the demon they had fought in the Namikaze compound, and again, only Zabuza, Anko and Kurohane would know the truth. The transformation was played off as a bloodline, though Naruto said he didn't know from which side it came.

"I want you all to know one thing; I don't want your pity. I don't want you saying 'I'm so sorry' and giving me hugs and shit, I won't tolerate that. I take pity as an insult, and it will earn you nothing but unbelievable pain. Do I make myself clear?" of course he didn't need an answer from Zabuza or Anko, but everyone else looked like they were ready to launch themselves at him and begin a sob-fest. Receiving nods from the already sniffling girls, Naruto sighed. "Besides, it is I who should be sorry. I knew at least something about each of you, yet you knew nothing of me. Yes, even you, Anko, were kept in the dark, but you know that now. I'm sorry for hiding it from you, but we all have our secrets, as I'm sure you do. But this was one secret I felt no longer had to be kept. I hope you all understand that I haven't given you the complete story, as there are some things that do need to remain behind closed doors." Naruto got up and walked towards the door. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to pay a certain banshee a visit. I believe she has something that belongs to me." there was an edge in his voice that no one missed, and it meant that whether he got what he was looking for or not, someone was going to get hurt. And from the way he ripped the door open, breaking the lock, someone was going to die.

Imagine their surprise when Naruto's rampage was halted before it even began my none other than Mitara.

"Hey, Naruto! Where ya' been, man? Wait, nevermind, you can tell me later. Right now, I gotta get you to Hokage-sama." the eagle-masked ANBU said.

"But I have something to do first, can't it-"

"No, it can't wait. This is a direct order from the Sandaime, and it's urgent." he leaned in and whispered. "Like S-Class urgent." that got Naruto's attention. "Momochi-sempai, Mitarashi-sempai, I was also ordered to bring you as well."

Anko and Zabuza looked at each other, then back to the ANBU. "What the hell's going on?" Anko asked.

Mitara shrugged. "Your guess is as good as mine. Sarutobi just told me to gather you three up while Inaro and Isaro rounded up Kakashi and Gai. Whatever's going on, it's big, and he won't tell us until everyone he requested shows up, including my squad. So if you wanna find out, we gotta go."

Naruto, Anko and Zabuza nodded to Mitara.

"Well, how fast do we need to get there?" Naruto asked.

"We needed to be there two minutes ago...sorry, I got caught up. I decided to take a shortcut to get here and it happened to lead through the hot springs. Well, it was full of female ANBU at the time and one of them beaned me in the head with a bucket as I was jumping over the springs. I ran into a wall and was knocked out for half an hour." Mitara rubbed the back of his head sheepishly.

Naruto chuckled. "You're too young to be losing your edge, Mitara."

The ANBU simply flipped him off. "Whatever. So, you gonna teleport us or what? I know that's why you asked."

"Well, since you asked so _nicely_, here we go." Naruto's cloak enveloped them all, sank into the ground, and they were gone.

The girls simply stood there, staring at the now broken door with furrowed brows.

Finally Hinata broke the silence. "Say what you want about his personality, but he knows how to make an exit."

"So...what do we do now?" Chigusa asked.

"I'm sure there are some missions lined up for us, so we might as well go see what they are." Kiriko shrugged.

"But Kurohane's not a shinobi." Hinata pointed out

"My mission parameters state that I am to go where Naruto goes, so later." Kurohane morphed into her raven form and flew out of the open door towards the Hokage Tower.

"Lucky bitch." Hinata muttered under her breath.

"You have no right to complain, you're the one who has a date with Naruto-kun!" Haku glared at the younger girl.

"Yes, yes I do. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go find my team." Hinata was the next to leave, followed by Kiriko and Chigusa.

"Haku-chan, are you coming? We're all part of the same squad, so we can't take missions without you." Kiriko looked at the still seething girl.

"Yeah...I'm coming." Haku sighed, trying to calm herself down before following her teammates. She tried to close the door, but forgot that Naruto had destroyed the lock. "Oh crap."

The sisters turned around. "Well, I suppose that's a problem...Oh well, I'm sure it'll be fine, Nii-chan's traps work better than any door." Kiriko, ever impatient, grabbed Haku's arm and they all disappeared in a cloud of smoke.

(Hokage's Office)

Sarutobi sat at his desk, pipe in his mouth, looking over the newly arrived documents one last time. It seemed as though the Raikage couldn't leave his village, as his Council demanded that he bring an unreasonable amount of Shinobi with them, upwards of twenty, according to the letter. Despite his reputation, the Yondaime Raikage was no fool, and refused to take the chance that his Council would pull some kind of underhanded trick either in Kumo or Konoha while he was away.

Oh yes, Sarutobi himself was no stranger to this type of behavior from his Council and the paranoia it brought to him. But at least he only had one Danzo to deal with, Kyuuzou had an entire bench full of them! So, as per the request in the letter, Sarutobi had to travel to Kumogakure no Sato. Now all he needed was the elite squad of shinobi he was taking with him and he'd be good to go.

"Where the hell are they?" they were two minutes late, not a good sign. Even Kakashi would be on time, or even early, for something like this.

Just as he was about to call for Mihoshi, his office suddenly grew very dark as shadows all around the room rose up and converged on the windows, covering them all and shrouding the entire office in darkness.

Sarutobi sighed and turned on his lamp, illuminating the white masks of Naruto and Mitara.

"Hello, Naruto. I'd ask you about where you've been, but we don't have time at the moment. Now we just need Mitara's squadmates and we'll be ready to being this briefing."

The door opened. "Hokage-sama, we found-Ah!" Inaro tripped over a book Zabuza had knocked off the shelf while stumbling after Naruto's Shadow Walk. This caused Isaro, Gai and Kakashi to trip as well.

It was now that Naruto decided to lift the veil over the windows and allow the sunlight to pour in.

"Hey, hey, HEY! Hand's off the Porn Pocket!" Kakashi's voice screamed from within the pitiful pile of limbs on the floor.

"Damn, don't bite my fuckin' head off!" Inaro replied indignantly.

"WHY MUST YOU BRING SUCH UNYOUTHFUL READING MATERIAL TO SUCH AN IMPORTANT MEETING, MY ETERNAL RIVAL?" that was, of course, Gai, about to go off on another tantrum over the "unyouthfulness" of pornography.

"Dude, shut up! You're, like, right next to my ear!" Isaro complained.

Naruto had to be held back from going over and stomping on them, he did NOT want to go through this twice in one day.

Throughout it all, Sarutobi just sat there, eyebrow twitching, teeth grinding, pipe bitten in two on the floor.

"ATTENTION!" the Hokage yelled, standing up and slamming his hands down on the oak desk with a thunderous boom that echoed around the office.

Instantly the four men on the floor sorted themselves out and stood in front of the desk alone with everyone else.

'I still got it.' Sarutobi smirked, sometimes he forgot just how much fun being the Hokage could be. "Now then, I'm sure you all want to know why I called you here, so I might as well come right out and say it. Kumogakure has requested a truce between our villages, but, due to recent events, the Raikage cannot leave his village. So he had requested that I come to him. While his reasons are valid, I still do not trust him, not at all. As you all know, Konoha has never been on good terms with Kumo, even before the Hyūga incident there was quite a lot of tension between our villages. We've both been in all of the Shinobi Wars, but never on the same side, so you see why I am quite suspicious. That is why I have called you all here, you are my most powerful and trusted shinobi, and I'll be needing you as escorts. This will be classified as an S-Class mission, and you shall be paid accordingly. Do you all accept this mission and all that it entails? We will be walking into enemy territory, and the direction that we will be heading will take us fairly close to where Otogakure is suspected to be. This means that you must be on guard at all times, as Orochimaru himself could show up at any time with any number of minions."

"Wait a minute, we aren't medically cleared to take any missions right now, let alone S-Class ones!" Zabuza pointed out.

But the Hokage only smiled. "As unbelievable as it sounds, you were all in perfect physical health when you were released. The doctors just told you that to be on the safe side. Aside from Naruto, the medical staff told me they'd never seen anyone heal as fast as you all did."

"...So, I don't have a bruised lung?" Anko asked, remembering that the doctor had told her.

"Not at all. The only legitimate injuries were Momochi-san's broken rib, and Hinata Hyūga actually had two fractured ribs when she was brought in. Otherwise, you were all fine by the time you were released."

"Well, in that case...We accept this mission, Hokage-sama. We are honored that you chose us for something so important." Anko said, speaking for all of them...except one.

"Wait a minute, if this is an S-Class mission, then why am I here?" Naruto asked.

The Sandaime smiled. "Naruto, everyone in this room knows that you are a Genin in official rank only. I've seen you hold your own against, and even defeat, Zabuza, Anko, Kakashi and Mitara. Plus, you are the wildcard of this group. With the exception of Mitara and his squad, everyone in Kumo will know who we are, but they'll not have a clue as to your identity. And even then that won't really help them, as they still won't know what you're capable of. Hell, even we aren't fully aware of your abilities. So, if things get hairy, whatever you decide to pull out of your 'bag of tricks' will probably be a surprise to both us and the enemy."

Naruto nodded slightly, then looked around the room. "Do you all agree with this?" everyone nodded, even Kakashi, though you could tell he didn't really want to. "Very well, I, too, accept this mission. But I do have another question."

"What is it?"

"What will my..._teammates_ be doing while me and Hatake-san are away?" Naruto sounded like he was about to choke on the word "teammates".

"I tried to find a temporary team for them, but..." the old man trailed off, looking rather embarrassed.

"Let me guess, no one wants them on their team. Haruno because she's useless for anything other than a distraction(read: sacrifice), and Uchiha because he's an arrogant prick who will fuck up any team dynamic they had set up. Am I in the ballpark?"

Quiet snickers came from everyone but Kakashi, who just hid his face behind his porno and tried to make himself unnoticeable.

"...As sad as it is, you hit the nail on the head. But Sakura is trying, she really is. She took your advice and went to Mirano for medic training, and so far she's trained herself to the point of passing out twice! She really has gotten better."

Naruto snorted. "I'll be the judge of that. If she's trained as hard as you say she has and has improved, then I will bite my tongue and accept her as a teammate. But if I see no significant improvement, then I will request her removal from Team Seven."

Kakashi's eye widened. "What? What right do you have to make such a request? I'm the Jōnin Sensei here, and if that decision must me made, then I will make it." while his tone was calm, they could all tell he was seething on the inside.

Naruto turned to him, looking him right in the eye. "Because I'm the one that's going to have to pick up the slack for her. I'm the one that's going to have to bail us out when she fucks up a good plan. I'm the one that's going to have to save her sorry ass from Kami knows who when she gets captured. I'm the one that's going to have to heal the team of someone gets hurt. And WE are the ones that will be put in danger when she breaks down in the middle of a battle because she can't bring herself to kill enemy! I have EVERY right to request her removal because I'm the one that's going to be forced to compensate for her shortcomings. Not you, not the Uchiha, ME! If she dies on a mission, the Council will find some way to pin it on me, saying that I let her die when it was well within my power to save her. And when that happens, who will come to my defense? Certainly not you, since you think me a demon, and don't try to deny it, I heard what you said during my battle with my bitch of a mother. Maybe you should learn to keep your fucking voice down, eh? If that pink-haired waste of air proves that she's worth protecting, then I will allow her to stay. But, as it stands, she's worth nothing to me, nor the team itself. So either she goes, or you can hold her fucking hand through our missions. And when she dies, her blood will be on your hands." Naruto turned away from Kakashi, not giving him a chance to reply. "So, when are we moving out?"

Sarutobi, who'd been absorbed into Naruto's rant, just like everyone else, blinked a couple of times before speaking. "Oh, right...Well, how does two hours sound to you?" the assorted shinobi all gave nods of approval. "Excellent. We'll all meet at the North Gate in two hours, then. As usual, pack lightly, only the essentials."

"Yes sir!" each shinobi bowed before disappearing.

Sarutobi rose from his chair and walked over to the window. "Hm, I didn't think of this before, but this little 'vacation' could be fun." it had been a while since he had traveled outside of Konoha, mainly because of Danzo. But now that the old warhawk was no-factor, and his Black Ops were on the lookout for him, Sarutobi no longer had to worry about coming back to find some kind of demented new policy put into effect behind his back. But, if things turned sour, it had also been quite a while since the aged Hokage had participated in a good brawl.

(With Naruto)

Was it possible to be bored as hell and excited at the same time? It really didn't matter, because that was the situation Naruto found himself in. He had nothing to do! He didn't need anything he didn't already have access to, so he had nothing to pack. Now he was wandering around the village with no goal at all. He couldn't blow up anything, couldn't do any pranks, and the only thing he had to kill was time.

It wasn't that he didn't have the time, two hours was more than enough to cause a fair bit of havoc, especially for a pro like him, but he didn't want to waste any chakra. He had even deactivated the weight seals on his Biosuit, which he hadn't been aware of until Kyuubi told him. He just thought the suit increased its own weight, but the actual effect was an isolated gravitational field that only effected him. This was why the ground didn't crack when he dropped onto it from fifty feet in the air with about three tons of extra weight.

'Dammit, why is there nothing to do in this village?' Naruto mentally screamed, close to tearing his own hair out.

**"Probably because anything that you could do here would pale in comparison to an S-Class mission?" **Kyuubi chimed in.

'...That's probably it.' he took to the air, hoping that bouncing between buildings like a pinball would help pass the time. 'Should I go taunt my team about the mission? No, I doubt Ojii-san would condone that...But seeing the "dignified" Uchiha throwing a hissy fit never gets old.'

**"Why don't you go check on the Namikaze compound, or something? Survey the damage and see what all you have to repair." **Kyuubi suggested.

'Yeah, I guess I could do that. The Corpser did quite a number on the place.' to kill time Naruto would normally have taken the long way to his destination. But this was a time where he couldn't afford to be followed, so he decided to Shadow Walk to the gates.

(Namikaze Compound)

Near the main gate of the compound, the shadows of the surrounding vegetation and of the walls themselves began to move and shift of their own accord, stretching out and converging in a perfect circle ten feet from the gate. Out the this circle rose a black bubble. The bubble formed into a human shape after rising to near six feet, then the shadows began to melt from the figure like black oil, revealing the distinct white mask of Naruto Namikaze.

"Hm, everything looks fine...Oh crap." the gate was open. "Shit!" he hissed as he summoned his sword and jumped the compound walls with ease, clearing them by nearly thirty feet in his haste.

As soon as his feet hit the ground he was off, moving at speeds only a Kage, or a freak like Gai, could hope to achieve without enhancing their muscles with chakra. He didn't get more than a few hundred yards before he saw the massive crater sitting where the five-story tower used to be.

"What the fuck happened here?" he raged. This was going to require a LOT more than a few "small repairs". He stopped dead when he felt an all too familiar presence.

_**"I believe I can answer that question, but be warned, I am only allowing you three today."**_ the shadows once again converged in a circle as Shizaru made his appearance. _**"Good morning, Halfling." **_the demon gave a small bow.

"_You_." Naruto growled and tensed his muscles in preparation for a lunge.

_**"Yes, me. And I wouldn't try that if I were you." **_

Naruto ignored him and leapt...Or, at least he tried to leap, but found himself suddenly attacked and restrained by his own cloak.

"What the hell?" the boy roared as he struggled, but to no avail, the cloak was MUCH stronger than he gave it credit for.

_**"I won't count that as a question, but please, in the future, do be more careful with your words. You never know what opportunities you'll miss by not being able to keep your mouth shut."**_ Shizaru casually walked up to Naruto and stood before him, looking down at his distant relative with his black eyes, which were invisible under his hood. _**"On second thought, I won't count your first question against you either, but I will still answer it. I am what happened here."**_

Naruto simply growled. "I didn't peg you as one for mass destruction."

Shizaru snorted. _**"I didn't peg you as a true master of Darkness, so we're even."**_

"Master of Darkness?"

_**"That's one. Yes, a master of the Darkness element. Not a mere user, like some of the demons I've met in my time, or those humans known as the Nara Clan, but beings that can hop between realms at will, like you and I. We are two of only five beings that can claim such a title, the others being the Yonbi, Riju; Lord Garandou, and the Shinigami himself. Your next question, please."**_

"...Why did you destroy the tower? Something you didn't want me to find?"

_**"Technically that's two, but I'll count it as one. Was I hiding some dirty little secret? Hardly. If anything, your father is the dirty little secret of our clan, most everything else is just waiting for you to find it. If you wish to know more about the past of your clan, then go down to the lower levels, which remained intact, and find the library, which is an adventure in and of itself. Or, if you're feeling lazy, just ask your demon friend, Pondera. His knowledge of the clan is...extensive, to say the least. As for why I destroyed it, well, that was because of you. You see, I built that place when I was the clan head. For over four-thousand years, I ruled over this clan until I became a full-time General in Hell's Army. Sure, I had fill-in clan heads that would rule in my place for fifty years, or so, but I was always the one true leader. **_

_**But, now that there isn't enough Namikaze blood in my veins for me to call myself one, you are the new clan head, seeing as how you are the only one left. The way I see it, it's only fitting that the new clan head must build the new clan home, just as I did all those centuries ago. Next question, and really think about this one, for it is your last one until we meet again. And, just so you know, you're getting a free pass this time. From now on, you will have to pass a...test in order to gain the right to ask another question."**_ Shizaru seemed to anticipate these "tests", which meant they wouldn't bode well for Naruto.

'I...I have so many questions...and I feel they are all important in some way, so which do I ask?'

**"Ask the one that both your heart and mind share an equal desire for the answer."**

_**"Take Kyuubi-sama's advice, Halfling. She is far wiser than either of us." **_Shizaru advised, earning him an angry growl from Naruto.

'That little f...I know my next question...'

_**"Then what is it?"**_ Shizaru asked, once again reading Naruto's mind.

"Why...Why did you unseal my memories?"

_**"Finally! I was waiting for you to ask the most obvious question. At first, I intended on following my orders and unsealed your worst memories in order to break you down and make you join Hell's Army. But the demon you call Noctis messed everything up and, instead of aiding me in capturing you, freed you in more ways than one. I'm sure you know what I'm talking about, you can feel it, I know you can. But just because the first plan failed don't think that this is over. When the Day of Reckoning comes, our destinies will bring us together on the battlefield...But whether or not we will be on the same side remains to be seen."**_

"I will shape my own destiny, thank you very much."

Shizaru snorted again. _**"Yes, I know you will. The choices you make from here on out will determine your future, your fate, your destiny. But, unknowingly or not, you will eventually choose a side, and we WILL meet in the midst of the great battle to come! We will fight, and we may die...But again, whether or not we will die fighting against each other or beside each other remains to be seen. I will fight with you one way or another, that much is written in stone and cannot be changed. But how we fight is up to you." **_the demon snapped his fingers, releasing his control over Naruto's cloak and freeing him. _**"You know, I was sure that you would crumble after I opened that door, but you didn't, at least not completely. You had enough left in you to pull yourself out of that pitiful hole when it really counted. I'll be the first to admit that you are much stronger than I gave you credit for, as I also took a few of your memories before I left your mind. While I have seen worse, I can't say I've seen someone survive it like you have." **_putting his hands behind his back, the demon turned and began to walk away. _**"You're going to go far in this world, that I can tell, but you'd better be quick about it...This world isn't going to last much longer." **_with a deep, ominous chuckle, the demon disappeared. Not into the shadows, not in a puff of smoke or swirl of leaves, just gone; vanished.

Rising from the ground and making sure he had control over his cloak again, Naruto glared at the spot Shizaru had previously occupied. "My next question should be how the hell he does that." he muttered to himself. He looked around, letting out soft, annoyed growls at the destruction. "Meh, nothing I can really do here..." he did a quick check of his internal clock. "And I still have an hour and a half before the mission starts...Fuck." then he remembered what Shizaru had told him. "I guess I'll go look for that clan library, take some scrolls with me, or something." maybe he'd find some exclusive clan techniques?

Walking over to the edge of the giant crater, Naruto sighed heavily, feeling a headache coming on. Thinking about what Shizaru meant was a bit too much right now, especially since he had an S-Class mission to worry about.

'Kyuu-chan, what do you make of this?' he asked the one being he knew had an answer. Maybe not THE answer, but any answer.

**"...Apparently, Shizaru is under orders from someone...And if it he still has the same master that he did four thousand years ago...Well, let's just say you're better off not knowing. Hold off on that question until we can learn more, because right now I can't make heads or tails of this whole thing."** she was lying and she knew it. She knew exactly who was behind this, but she also knew that he wanted her to tell Naruto.

Arcarian had been watching him all his life and new his nature better than Naruto himself did. He knew that if he was told, the boy would try to change his so-called "destiny", but in doing so he would unknowingly hand himself to the God of the Void on a silver platter. Kyuubi couldn't have that, she wasn't going to allow her mate to become one of Arcarian's pawns. She wouldn't allow him to suffer the same fate she had so long ago.

Naruto could tell the demoness was hiding something, but figured that she had a good reason for lying to him, so he didn't question it. "Very well." he jumped into the crater, using chakra to enable him to slide down the sloping side to the bottom, where he stopped on top of ground made of large stone blocks. "Hm, this must have been one of the sublevels." he stomped on it to see how sturdy it was.

Apparently it wasn't it all, since Naruto fell right through as it collapsed underneath him.

"Fuck." Naruto muttered as he fell. He could see daylight from the hole getting further and further away and began to wonder just how deep this pit was.

Tilting himself in the air, Naruto looked down, his natural night vision allowing him to see perfectly in the dark, and saw the floor rapidly coming up to meet him. He flipped at the last second, smashing down on the floor with a thunderous boom, indicating that the floor was metallic.

"Where the hell am I now?" Naruto looked around and noticed that he was standing on a metal catwalk, at the end of which was a large door with a strange symbol carved into it. "Hm, I guess this is it...How lucky am I?" he chuckled to himself as he walked towards the door, kicking the remains of shattered blocks off into the abyss under the catwalk. He never did hear them hit the bottom. Even the two-hundred pound, mostly intact block was lost in the shadows below.

"I'd tell you to watch your step, but you seem to be doing just fine." Kurohane giggled as she flew down and landed on Naruto's left shoulder.

"Ah, hello, Kuro-chan. I was wondering when you'd show yourself." Naruto greeted his "guardian", having felt her presence during the mission briefing.

"I didn't want to interrupt, it looked important." Kurohane shrugged as best she could in bird form.

"That is was. I'm now part of an S-Class mission to escort the Hokage on his trip to Kumogakure no Sato."

"Ooh, just how much did that make your ego go up?"

"A few pegs too many, in my opinion." Naruto finally reached the door and almost reached out to touch it, but thought better of it at the last second. "The last time I tried to touch something in this place I had my fingers cut off." he looked at the door, trying to find a knob, handle, or keyhole, anything to show that this was really a door.

"Maybe the symbol has something to do with opening this thing?" Kurohane suggested.

"Hm, maybe." he stepped back to get a good look at it.

Now that he was really paying attention to it, he noticed that what he took for a simple symbol was actually a deformed, fanged skull, with no bottom jaw, surrounded by, and overlapping, a five-pointed star. It looked downright evil, but the fact that it also looked pretty damned cool couldn't be denied.(6)

"...This clan had awesome taste." Naruto said, reaching out and touching the crest, against his better judgment.

As soon as his hand made contact the eyes of the skull started to glow red and more symbols appeared around the crest.

"'When the Void calls, you must answer. Make your choice wisely, for the Leviathan awaits, with open jaws, those that choose to remain in the light.'" Naruto read the inscriptions, this time willingly, unlike the ones in the tunnels. "The fuck does that mean?" he scratched his head. "And why do I get the feeling that it's meant specifically for me?"

Kurohane shrugged again. "You know, normally after things start glowing, the door opens."

"...It's sad that that's so true. I mean really, can't the people that seal these things come up with something more original?" Naruto formed a Rasengan, absorbed it into his hand, then placed his hand on the door. "Rasen Shottogan." he murmured before blasting a huge hole right in the center of the crest.

Stepping in through the hole, Naruto summoned a fireball and had it float above his head to illuminate the room.

"Holy..." Kurohane trailed off.

"Shit..." Naruto finished, both of them scanning the absolutely MASSIVE room filled with row upon row of bookshelves. "...This may take a while."

(An Hour And Fifteen Minutes later)

Naruto snapped another book closed and placed it back on the shelf he'd gotten it from. That had been the second "How To Use" book he'd picked up out of the twenty that he'd already read. Most of them were useless, but a few of them, like the "Beginner's Guide to Battle Chains", had been helpful.

A brief check of his internal clock(what was left of it, anyway)told him that he had a little less than a half an hour to get to the North Gate. Deciding that he had plenty of time, Naruto moved on to the scroll section of the library to look for some techniques.

(Twenty Minutes Later)

Naruto dashed out through the hole in the door and onto the catwalk. He had ten minutes to get there, and he always liked to be at least a bit early for missions, no matter how unimportant they were. But upon trying to use his Shadow Walk he discovered something very important: he couldn't use the element of Darkness at all.

He would have used the Body Flicker, but, for some odd reason he couldn't remember how to do it.

"What the fuck?"

A certain demon supplied him with an answer, and it wasn't Kyuubi. _**"Once again, that would be my doing. You see, now that you are a true master of Darkness, using something as mundane as the Body Flicker is simply below you. Therefore, I took the memory of how to use it and even it's basic principles out of your mind. Have fun thinking of a way to get out of here! Oh, and you won't be able to use your Darkness powers in the compound any longer. It seems as though your father placed multiple Light Seals on the entire property, rendering Darkness useless. You only cancelled one seal out of five."**_

'Then how come you could use it?' this was really annoying.

_**"Simple; because I knew how to turn the seals off. Well, I have things to do at the moment, so I'll leave you with this bit of advice: don't get into the habit of blowing through doors, you'll live longer." **_Naruto cringed as he felt the uncomfortable sensation of the demon leaving his mind.

"This is bullshit." Naruto grumbled.

Kurohane sighed and hopped from Naruto's shoulder to the catwalk. There was a sudden puff of dark smoke, then the eagle-sized bird was no more. In her place was a bird of identical appearance, same three long feathers sticking out of the back of her head, same twin tail feathers flowing out behind her, but she now stood fourteen feet tall.

"Hop on!"

Naruto just stood there. "...That...is awesome..."

"Thanks, now let's get going." Naruto did as told, jumping onto Kurohane's back, just behind her neck in front of her shoulders. "Hold on and don't pull on my feathers!" then, with a single powerful flap of her wings, the Raven Princess was airborne, Naruto's weight comparable to that of a Remora to a Great White.

Kurohane tucked in her wings just before going through the hole, knowing that there wasn't even close to thirty feet of clearance, then spreading them again to gain more height. Once she reached two-thousand feet she stopped climbing and leveled out, heading north back to Konoha gate.

"You alright back there?" the giant bird asked her passenger.

"Hell yeah! This is awesome!" this could very well turn into Naruto's favorite pastime, with Kurohane's permission, of course.

"You know, this is the first time I've ever had anything on my back while flying. I've gotta say it's nice to have someone to talk to."

"You mean shout to." it was true, they had to shout over the wind to hear each other.

"You get the point." Kurohane looked down. "Ah, looks like we're coming up on the North Gate fast...There are six people down there already...Looks like everyone but the silver-haired pervert and the spandex freak with the huge eyebrows."

Naruto sighed in relief, if Kakashi had been there before him he'd probably never live it down. "Kuro-chan, dive." he commanded.

Nodding an affirmative, the giant bird went into a nose dive right above the group of people.

(Down Below)

The combination of boredom and near uncontainable excitement seemed to reign for the group of shinobi standing at the North Gate.

Escort missions were nothing new to any of the shinobi present, S-Class missions were certainly no big deal to most of them, but heading into the heart of territory that had always been considered hostile on an S-Class Escort mission was more than a little unusual. Add that to the fact that they would be heading into an area where Orochimaru could show up at any moment, and you get a LOT of anxiety. Of course they were expecting resistance, but they had been hand-picked by the Hokage himself for this mission. The thought of Orochimaru and his freakish experiments showing up paled in comparison to the thought of the shame they'd suffer by letting him down.

It was things like this that had an especially negative effect on Kakashi, for obvious reasons. This is why Gai, who had originally been the first one to arrive, was sent out to find Kakashi and make sure that he wasn't having any second thoughts about the mission. Not that any of them thought he'd chicken out, but better safe than sorry. If they'd end up needing a new eighth member, they'd much rather find out sooner than later.

"Where is he? Gai left nearly ten minutes ago!" if Anko wasn't the most antsy about the mission, she was certainly the most vocal about it. She hadn't shut up since she'd gotten there, and between her complaining and detailed descriptions of what she'd do to any resistance they encountered, the rest of the guys were getting more than a little annoyed.

"You're acting like a little kid just before her parents take her to a toy store! Just shut up and calm the hell down! The Freak will be here with the Monkey any minute now, and Naruto will-!" Zabuza suddenly stopped talking and looked up, using his hand to shield his eyes from the sun. "What the hell? Not again!"

Everyone else looked up, wondering what had alarmed the former Mist-nin, except for the Sandaime, who just smirked. 'Naruto, you can be quite the showman when you want to.' "No need to be alarmed, it's just the final member of our group."

Just as he said this a black blur shot down from the sky and landed on the ground with tremendous force, causing the ground to crack and a cloud of dust to spring up, blocking their view of the object.

"Sorry about the wait, but I went to check things out at the Namikaze place and lost track of time. The family library is freakin' huge!" Naruto's voice came through as the boy walked out of the settling dust, a very large raven perched on his left shoulder.

"Dammit, Naruto! Was that really necessary?" Zabuza shouted.

Mitara chuckled. "I get it. Because you weren't the first person here, you figured that you'd at least have the best entrance."

Naruto nodded unabashedly. "Yep." he then looked around and noticed that both Gai and Kakashi were indeed nowhere to be found. "Where're the Spandex Freak and the One-eyed Wonder?"

No one answered, opting to simply point at the huge cloud of dust kicked up by Gai as he ran towards the gate as speeds that only freaks like him could reach. But, even at those speeds, he could stop on a dime, an ability that was put on full display as he stopped dead right in front of the Hokage. Unfortunately, the cloud of dust didn't stop, and the area was again covered in a shroud of airborne dirt particles.

"FORGIVE MY LATENESS, HOKAGE-SAMA, BUT MY ETERNAL RIVAL WAS MORE ELUSIVE THAN I HAD PREDICTED!" Gai shouted, as usual.

"No worries, we've still got two minutes before we move out...But where is Kakashi?" Sarutobi looked around for that signature hair-style.

"Hm? What do you mean, Hokage-sama? I carried my youthful rival the entire way here!" Gai proclaimed proudly.

"I found him." Naruto said, walking back with an unconscious Kakashi slug over his shoulders and Kurohane perched on the Jōnin's back. "You dropped him about a block down, Gai-san." he informed.

"Oh, well I guess everything's in order. Can someone wake him up so we can get underway?"

"On it." Isaro, the medic of ANBU Squad Eighteen and the mission, took out a vial of smelling salts to awaken the Copy-nin.

"SLOW DOWN, GAI!" Kakashi screamed as he woke up, then scratched the back of his head and blushed in embarrassment when he noticed that Gai was no longer carrying him.

"Excuse me, Hokage-sama, but how will we be travelling?" Naruto asked, not unfamiliar with Escort missions, but definitely new to ones this important.

"On foot, I suppose, unless you have something else planned." there really wasn't much choice. Under normal circumstances, such as simple travels to the locations of Chūnin Exams, a carriage would be used with one or two members of the escort team inside with the Kage and the rest outside to protect the carriage from attacks. But they were heading into what was still considered enemy territory, so a carriage would draw too much attention.

"Well, now that you mention it, I do have a little something." Naruto reached into his cloak and removed a single glowing orb. "You guys might want to stand back for this." after they did as advised, Naruto smashed the orb onto the ground and an odd fog erupted from the point of impact along with a moderate explosion.

When the fog lifted, the shinobi gasped at what now stood just in front of Naruto: four very large, very mean looking, demonic dogs.

"What the hell are those?" Anko asked, backing up so that she had Zabuza in between her and the hounds.

"These are Hell Hounds. Low-level demons that dwell in the Forest of Death. I've killed and taken the souls of quite a few of them, and now, with my new Summoning Orbs, I can summon these beasts at will. Why did I summon them? Well, aside from being vicious fighters and excellent trackers, these demons are very strong, and very fast. So I'll use them in place of horses to pull this..." Naruto manipulated the shadows around him into solid form and formed them into a fairly evil-looking carriage. "Hokage-sama, your chariot awaits." he bowed.

Everyone simply stared back and forth from the boy, to the hounds, to the carriage. Then the Hokage finally chuckled and stepped into his "chariot".

"Is there anything you can't do with those shadows?" he jokingly asked.

Naruto shrugged. "Yeah...I just haven't stumbled upon it yet."

Sarutobi chortled before sitting down on the ridiculously comfortable seats. They were like beanbag chairs, but they didn't make you feel like you were falling into quicksand.

After him, Anko, Isaro, and Inaro piled in, taking up the standard close guard positions. Zabuza, Mitara, Kakashi and Gai remained outside, with Naruto "driving", since he was the only one the "demons"(Shadow Beasts based on demons)would listen to.

"Everybody ready?" Naruto asked.

"We're all good to go!" Mitara replied after checking with the Hokage.

"You guys might want to get up here, otherwise you'll have to expend unnecessary chakra trying to keep up with the Hell Hounds." they complied, afterall, who would decline a free ride? "Now that we're all set, you two, open the gate!" Naruto called to the two Chūnin manning the North Gate, Izumo Kamizuki and Kotetsu Hagane.

"Why do we always get such crappy jobs? We're either gathering paperwork for the Hokage, posing as Genin for the Chūnin exams when they're held here, or manning one of the gates!" Kotetsu complained as he placed his hand on a chakra conduit.

"Well, you know what? Maybe if you'd try for the Jōnin Exams, then you would get better missions!" Izumo also placed his hand on a conduit.

"Whatever, like I'd last a second against some of the other guys." Kotetsu pumped a small amount of chakra into the conduit.

"Whatever? You and I both know that either of us could pass the Jōnin Exams. I mean we've got sufficient power and chakra levels to at least be low Jōnin, and though our technique libraries may not be as extensive as others, we know more than a few neat tricks, wouldn't you say? Hell, from what I've heard, just knowing the Shadow Clone Technique and how to use it effectively all but guarantees you a promotion!" Izumo also pumped his chakra into the conduit, opening the gates and allowing Naruto and his hounds to charge through.

"Again, whatever. You know my Shadow Clones suck!" Kotetsu summoned one to prove his point, though it looked like an identical copy except for one detail...

"I don't see anything wrong with it." Izumo shrugged, taking his hand off the conduit and allowing the gates to close.

"You don't see...What the hell's wrong with your eyes? Look at him, he doesn't have a mouth!" Kotetsu pointed at the clone, which really did lack a mouth.

"Minor flaw. Make him wear a facemask, then, sheesh! You're making a mountain out of a mole hill." Izumo waved his friend off.

"And deny the ladies a peek at these devilish good looks? I think not. I swear, man, Kakashi doesn't know what he's missing by wearing that mask." Kotetsu stroked his chin, idly wondering what he'd look like with facial hair.

"I think he knows exactly what he's missing, which is why he wears it in the first place...I've also heard, from a very reliable source, that Naruto also wears a mask for the same reason." Izumo looked around suspiciously.

"What, you mean Anko? Please, she's never seen him without his mask, she's just bullshitting you." Kotetsu scoffed.

"Hey, hey, the names of my sources are not to be mentioned in public! Besides, she's been trying to get that mask off for, what, nearly two years now? Don't you think she'd at least know why he wears the mask? Well, according to her, it's because he doesn't want his own fanclub, like the one the Uchiha has. I know you've seen how..._persistent_ those fangirls can be, yet you still think being a chick magnet is a good thing? Shit, you're on your own there, my friend. I'm happy just being above average." replied Izumo, ever modest about his looks.

"Uh-huh...Says they guy who was voted 'Hottest Chūnin' by our lovely Kunoichi League last year?" Izumo suddenly looked like a deer caught in a spotlight. "What, didn't think I'd find out about that, did ya'?"

"I...It was close between me and Iruka...It was a tie for nearly a week!...By all rights, he should have won...I didn't want the damned ribbon!...Stop looking at me like that, I'm telling the truth...Just...Shut up." Izumo turned around and carefully opened one of the pockets of his vest. He reached in and pulled out a blue ribbon that had "Hottest Chūnin" written on it in gold kanji.

"You're looking at the ribbon, aren't you?" Kotetsu deadpanned.

"..." Izumo didn't reply.

"Your silence speaks volumes." Kotetsu grinned, happy that he had finally won an argument with his childhood friend.(7)

(With Naruto and Co.)

Naruto wasn't lying when he said the Hell Hounds were fast. It had only been two minutes since they had left and they had already traveled four miles!

"Say, how many miles to the border?" Naruto yelled over the wind.

"It's about fifty miles from Konoha to the border, and another eighty from the border to Lightning Country, then probably another forty miles to Kumogakure itself! So about a hundred and seventy miles! Yeah, I know! How fast are we moving?" Zabuza yelled back.

"A bit over a hundred and twenty miles per hour!"

"That should put us in Kumo in a little over an hour!"

"That sounds about right! But I'd give us about two hours! You never know what we could run into!" Naruto went back to handling the reins.

Meanwhile, at the back of the carriage, Kakashi found himself eying Naruto and Zabuza. "What are they talking about?" he whispered to Gai as best he could.

"I believe they are discussing our ETA to Kumogakure!" Gai's normal voice was more than enough to overcome the howling winds.

"Way to be discreet, Gai." Kakashi gave a sarcastic thumbs-up.

"This feels great, doesn't it my youthful rival?" Gai stood up one the roof of the carriage, drawing everyone else's attention to him. "The feeling of the wind blowing through your hair as you speed down the road of life! Ah, there's nothing quite like it, wouldn't you all say?"

Kakashi pointed accusingly at the Jōnin with the caterpillar-like eyebrows. "Hey! The 'Road of Life' is my thing, make up your own catchphrases!"

"Shut up, both of you!" Zabuza yelled.

"You have no authority here, Momochi!" Kakashi shot back.

"And you do?"

"More than you!" of course, neither of them had any real authority on the mission, since none of them really outranked the other.

"Will you quiet down? You're bickering like a bunch of four year olds!" Mitara tried to quell the conflict, but only succeeded in drawing himself into it.

"Oh, so the ANBU finally speaks! What, you think you have authority here?" Zabuza turned the focus of the argument to man with the eagle mask.

"I never said that!"

"You implied it!"

"How? By telling you to shut the hell up and act like fucking ninjas?"

"Yes! What right do you have to tell us what to do?"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP, ALL OF YOU!" Naruto suddenly roared, halting the heated argument dead and nearly causing the Hell Hounds to stumble. "If I have to stop this carriage, so help me Kami, I will hurt you!"

This little outburst had an effect completely opposite of what Naruto was looking for.

"You have the least authority out of everyone here, _Genin_!" Kakashi oh, so helpfully pointed out.

"Pulling rank on me now, _Sensei_? Fine, we'll see what Mr. Fireball has to say about rank." Naruto let go of the reins and held up a small orange book.

Kakashi's eye widened and his hands flew all over his body trying to locate his Icha Icha book. "When did you-? No, you wouldn't dare!"

Naruto simply cocked his head to the side and summoned a baseball-sized fireball, which he held dangerously close to the porn. "Wouldn't I?"

"NO!" Kakashi tried to dive for the book, but was held back by Mitara and Gai, who didn't want a small-scale war taking place two feet away from them.

"Uh, uh, uh, trying to attack me would be counter-productive for your porn." Naruto held the fireball closer to the book, so close, in fact, that one could see the beginnings of singeing on the cover.

"STOP, PLEASE! That one's autographed by Jiraiya himself!" Kakashi wailed as he struggled against the two holding him.

"Are you going to calm down?"

"Yes, whatever you want, just don't hurt the Icha Icha!" Kakashi was damn near foaming at the mouth now, and combined with his watering eye, it was quite a comical sight.

"Good." Naruto tossed the book carelessly in Kakashi's general direction, forcing the Copy-nin to rip himself free from Gai and Mitara's grip and dive for the book before it went over the edge. "Now then, all of you sit down, shut up, and enjoy the ride. We've only gone fifteen miles, so one-hundred and fifty-five to go!" with that, the boy sat back down and took the reins once again, grumbling to himself about adults acting like children.

(Fourteen Minutes Later)

"We're coming up on the border outpost." Naruto called out as he slowed the Hell Hounds down.

"They should already be expecting us, but they'll send an inspection team out anyway." Kakashi said.

Just after he said that, four Jōnin appeared before the carriage, startling the Hell Hounds and making them bark and snap their jaws.

"What the hell are those things?" one of the Jōnin screamed as one of the front hounds nearly took his hand off.

"Funny you should mention Hell..." Naruto said ominously.

"You're travelling with demons?" another Jōnin asked incredulously.

"Yes, or course. They're much better than horses, since they can take a LOT of damage and they can actually fight in a battle. But enough about them, I assume you want proof that we are really the team assigned to the S-Class Escort mission to Kumogakure no Sato, correct?" the Jōnin nodded. "Very well, Hokage-sama is riding in the back."

The Jōnin bowed slightly and walked around to the side to knock on the door. "Hokage-sama?"

The door opened and out came Anko, who seemed to be a bit peeved for some reason.

"What the hell do you want?" she growled.

The man seemed to shrink in her presence, as if trying to make himself a smaller target. "Forgive me, Mitarashi-san, but we need to verify that you aren't enemies in disguise."

At this, Naruto had to comment. "What kind of sense does that make? If we were enemies, wouldn't you be dead right now?" none of the Jōnin replied. "Damned adults, never want to use their fucking brains." the boy grumbled as he had his cloak form a hood to shield his sensitive eyes from the sun.

"Oh, stop being such a prick, they're just doing their jobs." Kurohane chided.

"Meh, I suppose."

"Besides, you know that if they let us through without question you'd get on them about that as well." she had a point.

"Meh." Naruto grunted before turning around. "Hey, what's taking so long back there? Are you taking a blood sample, or something?"

One of the shinobi glared at the masked Genin. "Shut your trap, kid!"

"When you decide to move faster than a retarded turtle, maybe I'll think about it! But until then, turn the fuck around and do your fucking job so we can get the fuck outta here!"

"Why you little-!" the Jōnin started to move towards Naruto, but was stopped by someone grabbing his arm.

"You don't wanna do that." Isaro said.

"What, teach that brat a lesson? Oh, yes I do." he tried to move again, but the ANBU held him fast.

"If you have any instinct of self-preservation, just walk away right now. Otherwise...Well, I'm only a medic, Tsunade-sama is the miracle worker."

The Jōnin narrowed his eyes at the ANBU, then turned to Naruto. His confidence was shattered when he saw the boy looking right at him, eyes glowing like hellfire under his hood. Listening to his survival instincts, the Jōnin simply walked by with two of his comrades, careful not to make eye-contact. They only needed one man to inspect the carriage anyway.

"Come on, come on, come on!" Naruto chanted, anxious to get on with the mission.

"Calm down, will you?" Kurohane yawned. Though just sitting there was boring, it wasn't like it was unpleasant. Despite the afternoon sun, the temperature was a nice seventy-five degrees.

"I'll calm down when we're back on track."

"Alright, everything checks out fine. Sorry to keep you, Hokage-sama, but protocol and all that." the remaining Jōnin bowed, then disappeared via Body Flicker.

"Finally!" Anko groaned. "Naru-chan, get this thing moving!"

"With pleasure. Hyaa!" Naruto snapped the reins and the Hell Hounds took off, accelerating back to their original speed in seconds. "How much time did we waste back there?" Naruto asked Zabuza.

"Five, maybe six minutes." the swordsman shrugged, lounging with his hands behind his head and enjoying the rushing winds.

"Meh, not too bad."

"Well, we're no longer in Fire Country, so I'm sure I don't have to tell you all to be on guard at all times. Here's hoping that we get through without any conflict." Mitara said before checking his supplies.

"Just because you said that, we can now expect tremendous amounts of bullshit." Naruto turned to look at Mitara. "Thank you. No, I mean it, really, thank you. I know that after traveling so fast for so long, the hounds will be in the mood for a snack." he chuckled evilly before snapping the reins again, making the Hell Hounds increase their speed.

XXXX

And there you have it.

Not much action in this chapter, more focused on story-progression and humor. I did put a lime and a lemon in there, so hopefully that'll make up with the lack of ass-kicking.

Not much else to say, at least nothing that I can think of that I haven't already explained. Oh well. As usual, any questions, within reason, will be answered to the best of my abilities.

(1): Virtual cookie to the first person to tell me who that is.

(2): I sorta got the idea for these from poke-balls and timer-delayed grenades.

(3): Nope, Kyuubi doesn't just use her powers to change clothes like that.

(4): I know, I know, ridiculously lame line, but it fit, and I got lazy around the end.

(5): Bondage Man is a superhero I made up after seeing a Stephen Lynch special a friend brought over. I did a series of short-stories called "The Adventures of Bondage Man!"...Yes, I was drunk...Oh, so very drunk.

(6): Another cookie to the first person that can tell me what this symbol is from.

(7): I always thought those two should complain about their jobs more, and I'd always imagine them getting into ridiculous arguments over the dumbest of things, like why Kotetsu wears that nose-strap thing, and why Izumo's little facemask thing only goes up to his chin.

*Edit- 5/15/09: Within this chapter a close-to physically impossible act was depicted: the penetration of the cervix. I figured everyone would know that I only put that in there for the same reasons hentai artists do: for effect. But, apparently, not everyone did. I received a PM today that consisted of someone asking me if it was really possible to penetrate the cervix. I'm not naming anyone, but you know who you are. So, instead of just explaining it to one person, I figured I'd just explain it to anyone who was curious.

IT IS NOT POSSIBLE TO PENETRATE THE CERVIX!

Also, I received a PM a while back saying that it wasn't possible to penetrate the cervix. I was going to reply to it, and explain my reasons for featuring the act. But, when I checked the text file I keep all of my PM and Review Replies in(What? Don't look at me like that), it appears that SOMEONE decided to be an asshole and tell the sender of the PM that it WAS possible to penetrate the cervix. There wasn't a username or date attached to the reply(which is how I know I didn't put it there), so I don't know who that reply was to or when it was sent. So, to whoever that was, I apologies for my jackass friend's idiocy.

Furthermore, I also received a review for this chapter that(I think)suffered the same fate, so I must also apologies to Stygian Styx. I have also attached this little "PSA" to chapter 21, since it's the only other chapter to feature a lemon.*

Jason Out!


	29. Predator And Prey

Ho-ly shit. That's all I can really say. This chapter is a freakin' MONSTER! Over 41,000 words…Damn. Just damn.

Well here it is, chapter twenty-nine. Enjoy!

XXXX

(Eight Minutes Later)

After only traveling another twenty miles, Naruto suddenly called for the hounds to stop in the middle of a clearing.

"Naruto, what are you-?" Zabuza was halted by Naruto making ANBU signs while talking to mask the true conversation.

"I'm sure the dogs are hungry, and I can't very well feed them on the go, now can I?" Naruto said while making discreet signs with his hands. "We're being watched. Fifteen enemy shinobi, high Chūnin, being led by two mid Jōnin commanders."

Zabuza nodded, acknowledging the situation. "Alright then. Break time, everyone!"

"What? But we've been traveling for less than half an hour, what gives?" Inaro said as he opened the door to the carriage. But, after a quick relay of Naruto's message from Zabuza, Inaro simply nodded and closed the door again.

"What's up, why'd we stop?" Anko asked.

"Apparently we're being watched by enemy shinobi, probably from Sound." Inaro used ANBU signs to give the message, knowing that verbal communication was a big no-no when facing Oto shinobi. "Naruto wants to feed the devil dogs."

The three other occupants of the carriage nodded.

"Well, I guess I could use this opportunity to go stretch a bit, maybe take a little stroll." Sarutobi said, obviously giving false information to throw off the enemies.

"Hokage-sama, are you sure that's wise? I mean we are near enemy territory from the north and west. And there's no telling how many rogues, bandits, and nuke-nin have set themselves up around here." Isaro played the role of the overly concerned, by-the-books ninja.

"Don't worry yourself so much, Deer-san, or else you'll end up looking like me before you even hit fifty!" the Sandaime said before opening the door and stepping out of the carriage.

By this time, every shinobi on the team had been alerted to the presence of the enemy shinobi, and all were playing their parts perfectly, acting like they didn't notice a thing.

Meanwhile, in a tree about fifty yards from them, a man dressed in the garbs of an Otogakure Jōnin pressed the button on the communicator in his ear and whispered to his companions nearby to tell them to cancel the ambush. They had the perfect chance to attack and he wasn't about to pass it up.

"Hiei, come in Hiei, this is Kogiro, do you copy?" the man whispered, but all he received was low static on the other end. Figuring he was too far away from them, he silently backtracked through the trees until he was a hundred yards from the targets and tried again. "Hiei, do you copy?" no answer. "Dammit!" Kogiro cursed quietly. "I told that idiot to keep his comm. on!"

The comm. link suddenly crackled to life and a voice came through from the other end, but it was broken and incoherent. Just the beginnings of words interrupted by static.

"Ko-...They-...Sh-...I-...Ca-...Ki-...Don-...He-...An-...Ge-...Awa-...Ru-!" the comm. link went silent, save for the static, once again.

"What the fuck?" Kogiro muttered. "H-Hiei? What's going on, man? W-Where are you and the o-others? Hiei?...Hiei?" he cursed under his breath and turned to run back to their campsite, but the sudden scream that rang out through the forest stopped him dead.

It was loud, very loud. So loud that it should have caused every bird in the area to take to their wings. But not a single thing moved around him. No animals, nothing. Not even the grass or leaves moved in the breeze...There was no breeze. The air was completely still; stagnant. It was hard to breathe. No, almost _impossible_ to breathe.

Kogiro fell from the branch he was perched on to the forest floor with an oddly loud thump, hacking and coughing in his attempt to draw breath. The world seemed to come back to life as another agonized scream ripped through the air, which was now moving again.

Kogiro stood up again, but was too unsteady and fell back to his knees.

"Please, stop! I'll do anything, tell you anything you want to know, just stop!" the panicked pleas of a man about to face a horrifying death were picked up by Kogiro's ears. Who was that? He knew that voice, but he couldn't put a face with it.

"Oh, come now, don't beg and plead like a little bitch! You're going to die, painfully, so just accept that and it'll all be over soon. Well, _too_ soon for me, but it'll feel like an eternity to you." a disturbingly cruel laugh followed the new voice.

"N-No! K-Keep them away from me!" there was that familiar voice again, but who was it?

"Besides, you don't know anything, lowlife. Even now, I'm willing to bet you don't know that your leader sent you all out here just to die. Why would he send a squad of Chūnin and two Jōnin out to ambush the Hokage and his best shinobi? Pathetic little worms, all of you! But at least the others died with some dignity, you, on the other hand, aren't even worth torturing...Well, maybe just a little." that malicious laugh again. The kind of sound that made your skin crawl and your heart go into overdrive; a result of the adrenaline flowing through your body so you could get the hell out of the area as fast as humanly possible.

But Kogiro didn't feel like that. Something was fucking with his head, and was making it so that he was inexplicably drawn to the voices. He crawled forward on his hands and knees, getting as close as he dared before peeking through the bushes.

There he saw the Konoha shinobi that he and his team had been assigned to assassinate. They all seemed to be watching something off to the side, so Kogiro turned his head to the right and had to fight to keep from screaming at the sight.

There was the shortest member of the Konoha group, the one in the cloak and the bird, standing in front of what remained of Kogiro's team. Each one of them had been horribly mutilated, far beyond recognition. At least their bodies were. Their heads remained intact, faces eternally frozen into a visage of pure terror and pain, and nailed to their trees with kunai through the forehead.

Only one was still alive, the one Kogiro had heard screaming...It was Hiei.

"My, my," the Konoha-nin spoke with a chuckle, "even after devouring the bodies of thirteen men, you're still hungry?" he shrugged. "That's fine, just make sure to save his head, just like the others." he turned back to Hiei, and even with the mask you could tell he wore a cruel smirk on his face. "You've outlived your usefulness, so just die." he turned to walk away, but stopped and turned back. "Dark Release: Shadow's Embrace."

The shadow of the tree behind Hiei bubbled like boiling tar, then rose to encase his body in a tight cocoon.

"I'm still going to let them eat you alive, but I just wanted to hear that wonderful scream of yours once again before you went. Rend." Hiei gasped in pain before the shadows parted violently, taking his clothing and skin with it, leaving him in unimaginable agony, which he voiced with his loudest scream yet. Some of the Konoha-nin's own team turned away from the spectacle, but two of them, a woman with purple hair and a tan trenchcoat, and a tall man with bandages covering the lower half of his face and wielding a huge sword, looked on, the woman actually clapping and laughing.

The masked shinobi let loose a maniacal laugh that was easily on par with Orochimaru himself. "There it is, there's the scream! You must have had a lovely singing voice...Almost makes me pity you for choosing a path with so many..._occupational hazards_. Almost." he turned and walked away from the still wailing man. "Eat him." with that simple command the demon dogs leapt upon their new prey, still ravenous even after consuming around five-hundred pounds of flesh and bone each.

Two of the hounds went for the shredded skin that had been flung onto the bushes to the side by the shadows before they returned to their normal place, and the other two went right for Hiei, tearing into his midsection to get at the liver and heart; the organs that would provide the most energy.

Kogiro slapped his hands over his mouth to keep his ragged breaths from being heard by the demonic canines. There Hiei was, being eaten alive by demons and there was nothing he could do. His best friend since his second year in Iwa's ninja academy was being devoured before his eyes, and there wasn't a damn thing he could do to stop it. It was common knowledge that a majority of Otogakure's shinobi were rogues from other villages, and Kogiro and Hiei happened to be two from Iwagakure no Sato.

'I've got to get back to Oto...Report to Orochimaru-sama, that's what I've got to do.' Kogiro said a silent prayer for his friend and slowly backed away from the bush.

A low, rasping hiss stopped him in his tracks. Though the rather large blade protruding from his chest may also have had something to do with that.

Kogiro began to spew blood from his mouth as he tried to keep his organs from falling out as the blade was ripped back out of his body and he fell to his knees.

"Now where do you think you're going?" the voice of the sadistic Konoha-nin came from behind the downed Oto-nin and he chanced a look over his shoulder.

What he saw couldn't have been anything short of an abomination; a sin against nature itself. It was humanoid, but larger than any human Kogiro had ever seen. It was covered in grey armor that was attached to its body by chains that seemed to be grafted into its skin, and wore a blank mask with a long horizontal slit for its eyes. But, besides its size and terrifying appearance, two things really stood out: the wicked blades that replaced its hands and feet; and the fact that its head wasn't attached to its body, instead being held just above what was left of its neck by some kind of grotesque rig.

"Oh...Kami..." Kogiro tried to crawl away from the beast, but didn't get two feet before the thing leapt into the air and came down on him, impaling his lower back with its leg blades. The Oto Jōnin screamed in agony as the blades pierced completely through his body on either side of his spine. He screamed again as the blades were taken out and he was flipped over, forcing him to look at the two monsters that stood above him.

The Konoha-nin snorted. "Kami can take no credit for what I have created." he crouched down, likely taunting Kogiro with his closeness, and clapped his hands together. "So, you're a Jōnin from Otogakure, correct?" just like he was trained to, Kogiro didn't answer, instead slowly moving the arm furthest from the masked shinobi to pluck a kunai from his pouch. The masked ninja snorted suddenly and motioned to the monster next to him. "Take care of that, would you?"

The beast simply pointed the blade on its right arm at Kogiro. The blade suddenly snapped open, like a pair of scissors, and shot out on a huge, rubbery tendon, snapping shut on Kogiro's arm and severing it before retracting back to its owner.

Kogiro screamed again, but a hand slapped over his mouth silenced him.

"Would you stop squealing? You sound like a pig that's been hit with an arrow!" the Konoha-nin lifted his hand. "So, do you have any info for me? Maybe something to persuade me to spare your pathetic life?"

"Why bother? You'll just kill me anyway." Kogiro hissed before coughing up more blood.

"Hm? Does that mean you know something?" the other ninja cocked his head to the side.

"Even if I did, I wouldn't tell you!" Kogiro tried to take a swipe at the enemy shinobi, but his arm was easily caught.

"Tsk, tsk, tsk, bad move. You Oto shinobi seem to be making a lot of those today, no?" the Konoha shinobi placed his right foot on Kogiro's chest, causing more blood to seep from the first wound and pinning him down. Then, with a seemingly careless tug, the masked ninja tore Kogiro's remaining arm from his body. "Fetch." he tossed the arm over the bush, where it was fought over by the demon dogs.

Kogiro screamed until the blood bubbling up from his internal injuries forced him to stop. "YOU FUCKER! YOU SICK LITTLE BASTARD!" he ranted and raved, thrashing his legs in an attempt to kick either the Konoha-nin or the monster.

"Hey, cut that out! Keep that up and my friend here won't be the only one lacking feet." the masked shinobi grabbed the Jōnin's throat and began to slowly squeeze. "I was in a good mood when I killed your friends, but you're starting to aggravate me. Do you really want to find out what happens when I get aggravated?" his answer came in the form of a bloody glob of spit landing on his mask.

"Fuck you, I won't talk!" Kogiro hissed, his vision beginning to swim as his consciousness wavered. He had lost far too much blood, and his injuries were too severe for him to have any hope of living past the next two or three minutes. But, if he was planning on leaving the world of the living in the relative peace of unconsciousness, spitting on the enemy may not have been the wisest choice.

The Konoha-nin let out a soft growl as he stood up, taking Kogiro with him and holding him almost two feet off the ground with ease.

"You don't want to talk? Fine, you don't have to. You probably know nothing of any real importance anyway, so I was just going to kill you, take your soul and be done with it. But now...Now you will know that there are fates worse than death...Much, much worse." he pulled the Oto-nin closer. "But, working for that freak, you know that death isn't the worst thing that can happen to a person, don't you?" then, with a demonic snarl, the masked ninja slammed Kogiro into the ground, creating a crater. "Take his legs." he ordered the monster.

The creature gave another rasping hiss in acknowledgement of the order and opened both of its scissor-like arm blades. Two more snips, and both legs were amputated with near surgical precision. But Kogiro barely even felt it, his mind already overloaded from the pain. But he did scream as the black blade of an odachi was rammed through his chest.

"For pissing me off, you get _special_ treatment. I hope you enjoy it; I know your new _friends _will." the Black Soul rapidly absorbed the Oto Jōnin's soul and blood, even sucking it in from the soaked ground around his body. In a matter of seconds, all that remained was a dried out husk of what was once a man. Naruto snorted and gave a quick glance at the bush to his side before walking back to his team, stepping on the former Jōnin's head and crushing it. A strong wind blew through the trees, carrying away the dust from the crumbling body.

The Slayer Captain leapt high into the air, then came back down headfirst, arm blades held out, and spinning like a drill. The Shadow Beast then disappeared in a fountain of dirt as it tunneled underground to follow the carriage along with the rest of the Slayers that Naruto had brought along. Just in case.

"You done yet?" Zabuza drawled as Naruto walked back over to the carriage.

"Yeah..." Naruto looked back over his shoulder, as if to make sure he didn't leave anyone alive. "I'm done." the Hell Hounds lined up and the harnesses materialized around them, hooking them back up to the carriage. "We've wasted more than enough time here. Hyaa!" he snapped the reins and the carriage lurched forward as the dogs took off once again.

As the carriage left the clearing, a small green serpent with purple markings slithered out from underneath the bush Naruto had looked at before.

"The Massster will want to know of thisss." the small snake turned and started to head back to Oto with the incredible speed the Snakes were known for. But its progress was suddenly halted as a pair of scissor-like blades came out of the ground and chopped its head clean off. The small snake writhed and wriggled as snakes do when their heads are cut off, and eventually went still and crumbled like dirt, showing that it was truly dead and not just wounded.

Now almost a mile away from the scene, Naruto smirked as he received the mental report. 'Better luck next time, Hebi-teme.'

"How much longer, Naruto?" Zabuza asked.

"At this pace, we should be there in just over an hour." he turned to the raven on his shoulder. "Kuro-chan, would you mind flying up ahead and checking things out?"

Kurohane shook her head. "Not at all!" then, with just a few flaps of her wings, she overcame the headwind and took flight, using her excellent eyesight to survey the area for miles around.

About three minutes later she returned to Naruto's shoulder with her report. "We're nearing a bandit camp, and it looks like they're expecting us, since they've already set up an ambush."

Naruto smirked. "Yeah, we passed a scout earlier. But I've just set up an ambush of my own."

(Five Miles Ahead)

Two bandits laid in wait on either side of the travel path, having just completed a simple trap using nothing but near-invisible Ninja Wire. There were two strands hung at different heights and distances. The highest and the first one the target would run into was set to lop off the head of the driver, and the lower one was to trip up the horses...Or whatever the hell the scout said they were riding with.

Everything was set, so now all they had to do was wait.

A sudden noise alerted the head bandit, but he didn't turn around, as he saw the dust cloud from the carriage down the way.

"Hey, Yusuke, you alright back there?" there was no answer. "Yusuke?" the bandit turned his head, then jumped as he saw Yusuke looking over his shoulder. "Dammit, man, don't scare me like that!" he then furrowed his brow, something wasn't right. Yusuke's brown eyes were wide open, but were glazed over, like he was in a trance or..."Yusuke?" the bandit turned his head back further and saw that Yusuke's head wasn't with the rest of his body, and was being dangled over his shoulder with a large blade rammed through the back of the skull.

The bandit leader screamed and tried to scurry away, but he didn't get far at all before he was attacked by the Slayers and hacked to pieces in seconds. Every other bandit in the area got the same treatment; swift, but brutal dissection. Twelve Slayers, thirty victims, fifteen seconds. The Slayers were, indeed, Naruto's greatest works of homicidal art.

The monsters severed the wire to clear the way, then burrowed back underground as the carriage surged by, the hounds' speed now close to a hundred and fifty miles an hour.

As they passed the scene of hidden carnage, Kakashi, whose sense of smell was oddly acute, even by shinobi standards, picked up the heavy stench of blood.

"Wait, slow down, something happened back there." the Jōnin looked back to see if anyone was following them, but saw nothing.

"Nothing to worry about, Hatake-san...Just a failed ambush." 'I've got to remember to upgrade the Slayers. If they're this efficient at their current levels, just imagine the possibilities!' Naruto was almost giddy with excitement about this latest addition to his to-do list.

**"Don't bother." **Kyuubi suddenly said.

'What? Why not?'

**"Because they don't need to be upgraded. They all serve their roles perfectly. Normal Slayers are the Infantry, the larger ones are Heavy Infantry, and the Captains are the...Captains. No reason to mess with the order. Besides, I put in a special request for the boys on The Line, and I think you'll be pleasantly surprised." **just from her tone, Naruto could tell that he would soon have a new toy with which to wreak even more havoc.

'I look forward to it.' "Get ready for a bumpy ride, we're coming up to the mountains." Naruto informed the other shinobi.

"Time to put your driving skills to the test, Naruto!" Zabuza laughed. "'Cause once we get to higher altitudes, you ain't gonna be able to see for shit!"

"I'm assuming there's a supply route, or something that we can take to Kumo?"

"Yeah, it goes straight up to the village and doesn't have too many curves. But it's still a bitch to navigate, which is why I took the back way."

"Back way?" Kakashi rose an eyebrow.

"Yeah, the back way. It's a little-known path that heads straight down from Kumo, into the forest behind the mountains and ends at the coastline to the Northeast. I think it's either a secondary supply route for use during wartime, or an escape route in case the village is ever overtaken."

"Overtaken? This place seems better fortified than even Suna with their desert, and Iwa with that huge canyon!" Mitara pointed out.

"Not well fortified, just well hidden and a pain in the ass to get to. During wartimes, this supply route is left open, but is heavily guarded against enemies and ambush positions are set up all over the place. With the environment itself, I suppose this place is fairly well defended on its own. But there are ninjas in Kumo that specialize in creating thunderstorms, so combine a monsoon-like downpour with frequent lightning strikes, the high chance of mudslides, poor visibility, and the already steep paths, and you've got one hell of a trek on your hands if you're trying to attack the place. So yeah, I would say this place is better protected than most other villages, but that doesn't make it untouchable. Suna made that damn clear in the last war."

"Oh yeah, Sasori of the Red Sands. He really did a number on Kumo back then." Kakashi said, turning the page of his porno and giggling a little.

"Didn't he disappear right after that?" Gai asked, scratching his chin while he tried to remember the reports.

"According to a document that was..._left out_ on Hokage-sama's desk, Sasori had just joined Akatsuki at the time and was actually in Kumo to look for their Jinchuuriki. I guess it was his initiation test, or something. He, obviously, failed, but he did take a shitload of Kumo's technique scrolls from their vaults." Naruto said lazily, not taking his eyes off the path. The Hell Hounds mainly relied on scent and sound for hunting and fighting, which is pretty much all they did. This resulted in them having very poor eyesight, and, if left to their own devices, they could easily run right off a cliff. So, as Zabuza said, this was a test of Naruto's driving ability. He had to make sure they didn't all plummet a couple thousand feet to their deaths while maintaining a decent speed.

Yeah, that was gonna be a lot of fun.

(One Hour Later, Kumogakure, South Gate)

The walls were lined with shinobi of various levels, all waiting for Konoha's Hokage to arrive, as per the Raikage's orders. These were all shinobi that were highly loyal to the Yondaime, ninjas that he knew wouldn't cause trouble. They were there not only to greet the new arrivals, but also to escort them to the Raikage's tower and make sure that no _mishaps_ befell them. The last thing they needed was a war with the most powerful military force in the world, especially since they were still recovering from Orochimaru's attack. Turns out that he and his summons killed a lot more shinobi than previously thought...they were still finding bodies.

"Why are we here? It's going to take them two days, at least, to get here, and that's IF they don't run into any trouble!" a Chūnin spoke out.

"Pipe down. Raikage-sama was able to pick them up with his scrying orb once they left Fire Country and he says they'll be here within the hour."(1) the Jōnin in charge, a childhood friend of Kyuuzou's, Raibu Harigane, waved the Chūnin off. Though he had his doubts, his faith in Kyuuzou overrode them all. They both had risen through the ranks together and had seen more than their fair share of shit in there days. But, through it all, they always remained by each other's side. And Raibu had known his friend for far too long not to know that the smart money never bets against Kyuuzou. No matter how much people doubted him, or he doubted himself, Kyuuzou always succeeded in everything he did.

So there was no reason for Raibu to doubt him now...But even he'd admit that he didn't like what he'd been told by the Raikage.

'They're coming here in a carriage? What kind of horse moves that fast? Maybe they're using summoned horses? But I've never heard of a Horse Contract.' Raibu's contemplative expression didn't go unnoticed.

"Harigane-sempai, is there something wrong?" one of the rookie Jōnin asked.

"It's probably nothing, but something just doesn't feel right about this whole thing...At least I hope it's nothing."

"What could be wrong about this?"

"Any number of things. But I'm not going to dwell in it, and I advise you do the same. It'll only make you paranoid, and you being jumpy and nervous won't make a good first impression." Raibu squinted as something in the distance caught is eye. "What the hell?"

The other shinobi looked out as well, but only a few saw what he did, pointing it out to those around them.

"No way in hell! There's no possible way they could be here already! It hasn't even been two hours!" another Jōnin exclaimed. "It should take them that long to navigate the mountains alone!"

"Something really doesn't feel right about this." Raibu muttered.

"Why do you say that?" a newly arrived Chūnin asked.

Raibu pointed up. "Look at the clouds."

The Chūnin and more than a few other shinobi looked to the sky. Some, mostly the older ninjas, frowned deeply at what they saw, the others just shrugged.

"It looks like they're clearing." the Chūnin was amongst those who shrugged it off. "What's so bad about that?"

"In Konoha, dark clouds rolling in are a bad omen. Well, here in Kumo, the opposite is believed. When the clouds dissipate, something big is about to happen...And it's not going to be good."

"Open the gate, these guys are coming up fast!" another Jōnin shouted.

The two Chūnin charged with this duty ignored the order and turned to Raibu instead.

"Sir?" they both asked simultaneously.

Raibu simply sighed. "Let them through. When they get to the other side, surround them, but don't stand too close, and be prepared for anything." he furrowed his brow. "In fact, put up a barrier and trap them inside once they pass the gates. We can't be too careful with a freak like Orochimaru running around." of course he was right, that snake was a master of disguise.

"Yes, Sir!" four members of Raibu's elite Jōnin squad posted themselves in a rectangular formation and flashed through identical handseals, then crouched and placed their hands on the ground, creating a chakra current between them.

The Southern Gate slowly opened, and not a minute too soon, as the carriage roared through and right into the trap the Kumo-nin had set.

"Now!" Raibu gave the command.

"Lightning Release: Containment Fence!" four pillars of chakra sprang up in front of the four Jōnin and bolts of lightning flew between them, forming a rectangular cage of pure electricity.

'Fucking trap!' Naruto growled to himself, how had he missed the chakra spike? 'It's because there are so many high-level ninjas all in the same place. The air is completely saturated with all of this different chakra and it's fucking with my senses.'

**"As I've told you before, having enhanced senses is often more of a hindrance than an advantage."** Kyuubi, of course, knew from firsthand experience just how easily an opponent could turn your sharpened senses against you.

"WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?" Gai shouted as he stood up on the carriage, careful of how close his head was to the roof of the cage. There was about a million volts flowing through this thing, which was more than enough to kill anything.(2)

"Shut up!" Zabuza, Kakashi, Mitara and Anko, who had poked her head out of the carriage door when they stopped, screamed at the spandex-wearing Jōnin.

"Please. Your yelling won't help at all." Naruto let go of the reins and crossed his arms over his chest while leaning back.

"Quiet down, all of you!" Raibu commanded, though all he received was odd looks from the other shinobi.

"Two questions. One: who the FUCK are you? Two: what gives you the right to give us orders?" Zabuza, eloquent as ever.

"I'll be asking the questions are here, thank you very much. One: who are you?" Raibu mimicked Zabuza's question, though it lacked the vulgarity.

"You know damn well who we are! Otherwise you wouldn't have been waiting for us!" this time it was Anko who supplied the outburst. She was now fully outside of the carriage and standing next to it.

"Humor me."

"I'd rather hurt you." one of her special, elongated kunai shot out from her right sleeve and into her hand.

"Momochi Zabuza, Hatake Kakashi, Eagle, Jackal, Deer, Mitarashi Anko, Mighto Gai, Sandaime Hokage. I believe that is what you wanted to know?" Naruto cocked his head to the side slightly while looking at Raibu.

His teammates looked a bit miffed at their companion for revealing their identities, for the most part anyway.

"What? Don't look at me like that, everyone here already knows most of you, since you guys aren't very big on secrecy, and I only used call signs for the ANBU."

The others had the decency not to make a scene, he was right, afterall.

"Aren't you forgetting someone?" Raibu asked, attempting to stare the masked shinobi down. He sounded young and was the smallest of the Konoha team, including the woman. But it was easy to see that he wasn't one to be on the receiving end of intimidation.

"His identity is none of your concern at the moment, Harigane-san." Raibu's eyes widened as he heard the a voice come from directly behind him.

"How the hell?" Raibu looked around and found that the Containment Fence had been cancelled and all four of his Jōnin were laying in a crumpled heap before four clones of the Hokage, each one smoking an identical pipe.

Everyone was stunned, even the Hokage's own escorts! Not a single one of them had seen him move or felt a chakra spike from the formation of the clones! Anko even found herself looking back into the carriage to see if that really was the Sandaime. Sure enough, Sarutobi was nowhere to be found on the inside, and the twin ANBU looked just as bewildered as everyone else.

After a long, uncomfortable silence, the sound of clapping rang out.

"Now that is impressive! The notion that I could at least give you a run for your money has crossed my mind more than a few times...I don't think it'll be back for at least a few years."

"Yosh, Hokage-sama, I must agree this our young Hunter! You are living proof that age matters not to the FLAMES OF YOUTH!"

"...Seriously, is there a treatment for what's wrong with him?" Kakashi scratched his head.

Naruto shrugged. "As far as I know, the only cure for something like..._that_ is death...Do you think he'll calm down if we kill one of his students? His clone, perhaps?"

Kakashi shook his head. "As...tempting as that sounds, how do we know he won't just infect some other children with his behavior?"

"True, true...Wait a minute, what if he gets to the children here in Kumo?"

Naruto, Kakashi, Zabuza and Mitara all shared worried looks.

"My God, what plague have we brought down upon this village?"

"If I hear the word 'youthful' come out of anyone's mouth other than Gai's, I'm going back to Konoha." Zabuza nodded to himself. Seriously, he was gonna do it!

"Youthful!" Anko's head popped up over the edge of the carriage, then quickly ducked back down before Zabuza could un-strap his zanbatō.

"Don't push me!" the ex-Swordsman of the Mist warned, glaring menacingly at the purple-haired woman.

Naruto chuckled and turned his attention to the Hell Hounds just in time to catch a Chūnin getting a bit too close.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you."

The Chūnin looked up, startled by being addressed so suddenly.

"What?" he then screamed as the hound closest to him whipped its head to the side and bit off three of the man's fingers on his left hand.

It was now that everyone turned their attention to what the Konoha-nin had rode in on and Kumo shinobi took a collective step back and many withdrew weapons.

"What? You all heard me warn him, so shut up!" Naruto growled.

"What the fuck are those?" Raibu pulled out his trusty trench knives.

"They're demons, what do they look like?" sarcasm: the quickest way to establish that you're a jackass.

"...Are those my son's?" Sarutobi knew no one else that had those custom trench knives like Asuma's.

Raibu nodded with a smirk. "Yep, they're Asuma's alright. Little punk thought he could take me on when our squads ran into each other during a mission in Kusa about five years ago. I kicked his ass and took his knives as payback for his disrespect. He knew damn well who I was and he still had the nerve to get cocky with me!"

The Hokage nodded in understanding. Now he knew why Asuma had come back from that mission so pissed off. But it all worked out for the best, since it made Asuma keep his ego in check from that point on, so he wasn't going to make a big deal out of some stolen weapons. Besides, Konoha's shinobi had taken more than a few weapons from felled Kumo-nin back in the days of the wars. Though belongings were often left with the more worthy opponents as a show of respect.

Let it never be said that there was no honor amongst shinobi.(3)

"Oh, calm down, they're just demons." this didn't seem to help at all. "Oh, that's right, you have quite a history with demons here, don't you?"

Raibu snorted. "You, _Hunter_-san, are one to talk, being from Konoha and all."

Naruto shrugged. "...Our demon's better than yours." he said quickly, crossing his arms and looking around like he hadn't said anything.

This caused mass sweatdropping and even a few facefaults.

"...When did having demons rampage through your village become a competition?" Kakashi put a palm to his forehead and sighed.

"What? It's true! They had two tails, we had nine! You do the math!" of course, those that knew of Naruto's status knew that this was his way of telling them that he wished to challenge Kumogakure's Jinchuuriki. "Besides, from what I understand, all your demon did was raise a few corpses from the grave when you tried to attack its vessel. If anything was 'rampaging', it was the humans of this village, not the demon."

"It desecrated the bodies of our loved ones! It used them to attack us!" a Chūnin shouted from somewhere in the back of the crowd, drawing nods from many.

"But would it have done that if you hadn't attacked the Jinchuuriki? I think not. Last time I checked, the Nibi wasn't one of the more violent Bijū...In fact, I've heard that she was quite lazy and rarely did things without reason. So, to 'attack' you, as you say she did, you must have done something to provoke her, no?" Naruto had him there.

"Bah, you know nothing of what happened here, so don't sit there and act like you do!"

"I know more than any of you ever will, that I can assure you." Naruto hissed, then muttered under his breath, "Different village, same bullshit."

"Now, now, you should know it is basic human nature to fear what you don't understand. They can call you whatever they like, it'll just make them look even more stupid when you prove them all wrong." Kurohane said.

Naruto snorted. "How can I even hope to prove them wrong...when half of me wants nothing more than to show them just how right they are?"

"What does the other half want?"

"The other half...is sorta split into two parts. One part is the one that wants me to forgive those pathetic people of their sins towards me...And the other part doesn't give two shits either way. Together they keep the other half in check and provide me with a 'happy' balance." Naruto had to chuckle at that. He knew better than anyone that the words "Balance" and "Naruto" should never be mentioned in the same breath...At least not when it had anything to do with psychological matters.

"Wait, the way you explained it, that means fifty percent of you is rage incarnate, twenty-five percent wants to be a hero, and the last twenty-five percent is content to just sit back and watch the fireworks...How is that balanced?" Kurohane would have scratched her head if she still had hands.

"The side that doesn't care just agrees with the good side to get him to shut up." Naruto chuckled again.

"...Is he...talking to that bird?" Raibu asked.

"It's a summon. Are you going to escort us to the Raikage or do we have to go ourselves?" the way things were going, they would end up starting a war rather than gaining an ally.

Raibu sighed and gave the command for the others to stand down. "Very well, I'll take you to his office." he turned and walked past the Hokage, still a bit unnerved by just how powerful the Sandaime was.

Sarutobi grumbled something under his breath and called for his team to take up the standard guard formation for a team that size. After Naruto recalled his Hell Hounds and dismissed the carriage, further astonishing the assemble crowd, he took up his position surrounding the Hokage.

Kakashi and Gai up front, Zabuza and Mitara to the Hokage's right, Inaro and Isaro to his left, and Anko and Naruto taking up the rear. This formation was ideal for guarding against attacks from all sides, and was almost always used during escort missions in some form or another.

As soon as the carriage had stopped, each of the Konoha shinobi scanned the crowd around them, attempting to get a feel for who would be the biggest threats should a fight break out. So far, Raibu, the four Jōnin that had put up the lightning cage, and the four ANBU that were currently following them while remaining unseen were the most powerful they had come across. Raibu himself was near Kage level, his Jōnin each on par with Konoha's own, and all four of the ANBU were Squad Captains. This was a bit unnerving, since it meant that the Hokage and his escorts were evenly matched by the Kumo shinobi for the most part, and they were severely outnumbered.

Of course, they didn't know about Naruto's minions that were still following them underground, but they were still outnumbered. And Kumo's Kage as well as their Jinchuuriki, who was said to be the strongest of the known vessels, hadn't even been encountered yet! In short; if all hell broke loose, Team Konoha would probably end up getting the worst of it...Then again, with the amount of tricks Naruto had up his sleeves, Kumogakure would take a significant blow as well.

"So, what's your take on all this, Hunter-chan?" Anko asked, working her petname for Naruto into his current alias.

Naruto twitched a bit, but didn't let it show. "While I don't like being followed like this, I think we'll come out of this with some powerful new allies..."

"But?" Kurohane asked, causing Anko to stare at her.

"But, I'd be lying if I said being watched like this didn't make me a bit...concerned."

"Kuro-chan?" Anko inquired.

The large bird slowly turned to look at the Tokubetsu Jōnin. "Only Naruto-kun and Haku-chan can call me that."

Anko snickered. "Haku-_chan_?"

"What, we became friends! You got a problem with that?"

Anko shook her head. "No, none at all..." she pretended to cough, "Bisexual..."

This caused Naruto to look at the woman as well. "...You're the last person that should be calling someone bisexual."

Anko's eye twitched. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Oh, come off it, we all know you play for both teams!" this caught the attention of every male in the vicinity, though no one broke stride.

"What? I'm one-hundred percent straight, you jackass!"

"Really now?" Naruto didn't sound convinced at all.

"Yeah, really." Anko moved closer to Naruto until their arms were touching. "If you take off that mask I'll prove it to you." her half-lidded eyes and sensual grin normally drove men out of their minds and turned them into her slaves, but Naruto simply snorted.

"Please, that may work on your normal male...But we both know I'm about as far from normal as you can get."

Kurohane laughed as Anko got shot down. "Access Denied!"

"I'd love to see you do better!" the snake mistress hissed.

"I don't have to, I've already seen everything...and I mean _everything_..." the raven trailed off and adopted an odd, far off look, then started to drool a little.

Anko simply stared and sputtered before asking, "You...and her...You...she...What?"

Naruto waved her off. "Calm down, nothing happened between Kuro-chan and I...she just got a free show, that's all." ending the conversation, he took to scanning his surroundings to get a rough layout of the village.

The entire village was based on the environment and the climate of the area. A lot of homes actually protruded from the sides of stone spires and mini-mountains, and most of them looked like they had a killer view of the area.

"Sunsets must be awesome from up there." Kurohane glanced at Naruto to gauge his reaction.

"Hm, never pegged you for a romantic." was Naruto's bland reply. He knew exactly what she was hinting at, but now wasn't the time for that conversation.

Each building was also fitted with a lightning rod on the roof, which were said to carry electricity from lightning bolts to a gigantic storage battery that was hidden deep within the mountain the village laid on top of. According to Kumo's engineers after the battery had reached completion and was activated five years ago, the average thunderstorm yielded enough energy to power the village for another thirty years. And, with Kumo having an average of three-hundred and thirty thunderstorms a year, Kumogakure no Sato was be set for the next fifty-thousand years, give or take a century or two. There were also rumors about this battery having a much more...sinister purpose, but Naruto knew better than to believe in rumors. That didn't mean he wasn't going to at least attempt to check it out, though. Afterall, stupidity is what really killed the cat, curiosity was just framed.

But, other than the odd placements of some buildings, and the weird configuration of the streets, the village was fairly normal. Vendors and shops lined the streets, civilians stopped what they were doing to watch newcomers pass by; more than a few of them were ogling the likes of Kakashi and Anko, male and female alike; and there were kids running around playing ninja and, in turn, being watched over by the actual ninjas of the village. For the most part, it was just like Konoha.

'Hm, maybe I should take a stroll around town with the Jinchuuriki and find out just how much Kumo and Konoha have in common.' just because the "No Demons Allowed" signs weren't seen didn't mean they weren't there.

**"Do you even know who the Jinchuuriki is? Name, gender, level, anything?"** Kyuubi asked lazily. She was quite tired, having not had a good rest in days with her worrying about Naruto.

'...I think her name starts with a "Y", and she's said to be near Kage level, so I guess she's a Jōnin. She shouldn't be all that hard to pick up, since her chakra signature will have a hint of demonic taint in it. And we Jinchuuriki tend to take on certain traits from the demons we contain.' Naruto mentally shrugged.

**"Wait a minute, didn't Zabuza tell you her name before?"**

'...I think so.' "Hey, Zabuza." Naruto called.

"Yeah?" the Jōnin replied without looking back.

"What was the name of the Jinchuuriki here?"

"Nii Yugito."

Raibu suddenly halted and whirled to face Zabuza. "How do you know...Wait, I knew I remembered your name from somewhere other than the Bingo Book...What was it, eleven years ago? Yeah, that's it. Eleven years ago I was off duty and I ran into Yugito on the way home. She told me that a man named Zabuza saved her from one of those flash mobs."

"Yeah, that was me." Zabuza crossed his arms over his chest. "What, you wanna arrest me for killing a couple of your shinobi? In my defense, those guys were pathetic, and I saved your Jinchuuriki's life. As far as I'm concerned, I broke even there."

"But you also took the life of one of our best Jōnin at the time." Raibu countered.

Zabuza snorted. "If he was one of your best, then we might as well leave right now, 'cause having you guys as allies would be sort of a moot point."

"Momochi-san..." the Sandaime Hokage warned.

"Sorry, sorry." Zabuza held up his hands in surrender.

"Can we get back to walking, please? My leg's about to fall asleep, and if we don't get moving, the rest of me is soon to follow." Naruto drawled, giving his left leg a few good hits and shaking it for effect.

Raibu sweatdropped. "Are all of your shinobi this ill-mannered?"

"More like ill-tempered, but five out of eight is still good." Sarutobi shrugged.

"So there are three rude ones? Who's the third?"

Anko's hand shot up from the back. "Oh, oh, I know! Pick me, pick me!" she hopped up and down childishly, causing Naruto to shake his head and lean away from her.

"...Yes, Mitarashi-san?" Sarutobi sighed, then took another puff from his pipe.

"It's me, right?"

"...Yes, I suppose so."

"Yay!" Anko glomped the closest thing to her in mock happiness, which was, of course, Naruto.

"Get offa me!"

"What, I can't hug you now?" Anko made her version of puppy-dog eyes.

"This isn't hugging, this is sexual harassment! Hey, watch the hands!"

"What? I _am_ watchin' 'em!"

"Yeah, watching them grope me!"

Everyone within sight of the lunacy displayed by these "professional" shinobi sweatdropped massively.

"Are...Are they always like this?" Raibu asked, not totally believing what he was seeing.

"Thou shall look, but thou shalt not touch!" Naruto screamed as he tried to pry the woman off.

"Aw, but window shopping sucks!" Anko whined.

The Hokage chuckled a bit. "She is, but this is a more recent development with Hunter-san there. Normally, he'd just let her hang off of him and pretty much drag her to wherever he was going."

"Hey, hey, hey, hands ABOVE the belt!"

"You're not wearing a belt."

"That's beside the point!"

"What is the point?"

"Well, one point is that you're making a scene, which is making us a bigger target than we already are. The second point is that you're trying to molest me. Do you really want something else linking you to your former sensei?" this was Naruto's trump card, which he used only when Anko was getting too carried away with her antics. Comparing her to Orochimaru was always a surefire way of making her stop whatever she was doing.

And today was no different. Anko immediately let Naruto go and hung her head in shame. "Sorry." she mumbled.

Naruto simply sighed. "Meh, it's alright...Just don't to it in public, okay?" he whispered that last part.

"...So...Does that mean..." Anko trailed off, a smile already forming on her lips.

"Yes...Behind closed doors, it's not such a big deal."

Kurohane's beak hung open in shock. "Wait a minute, so glomping isn't off limits?" she'd never seen anyone so much as shake Naruto's hand, so she just assumed that glomping him was a form of suicide.

"If I know you and you're a chick, no." he then whistled to the others. "Us, moving, now." he pointed towards the huge pillar to the north where the Raikage's office was situated.

"...Right..." Raibu just shook his head and gestured for them to follow him. 'I have a feeling they'll get along with Kyuuzou just fine.'

(Raikage's Office)

Here we find Kyuuzou pacing impatiently, nervously awaiting the arrival of the Sandaime Hokage. If all went as planned, Kumogakure would be allied with the most powerful village in the world, and he'd be one step closer to erasing what the Raikage before him had done. But, like Raibu, Kyuuzou, too, noticed the cloud cover lifting and he grew more worried by the second.

He just knew something was going to go wrong. Even though he had taken every possible precaution, he just knew something or someone was going to fuck everything up. The most carefully laid plans also happened to be the most damaging when they failed. And he had been planning this for years. Everyday he had been thinking of ways to bring Kumo back to its former glory and end the hostility between them and Konoha, but in order to do that he had to keep the Council in the dark until it was too late for them to do anything about it.

Slowly, ever so slowly, he had been decreasing the power that the Council held. He'd create new laws here and there that, on the surface, gave them even more power, which made most of them approve it without hesitation. But, when the fine print under the fine print was read, several loopholes could be found in each law that would strip the Council of their powers whenever the correct circumstances were presented.

Oh no, Kyuuzou was no fool, not in the least. But he allowed the old farts to think that he was, and even encouraged it with his behavior. He made them think that they could easily control him, that the leash they kept on him was a very short one, all the while hiding that fact that he had chewed through the leash long ago. He was free of their control, and was just waiting for them to slip up so he could get rid of them. All it took was one little mistake, and they were finished.

If someone fired a crossbow bolt at the Konoha shinobi, and the would-be assassin was linked to even a single member of the Council, one of the original laws of Kumogakure, set by the Shodai Raikage, the current Raikage was granted the power to disband the current village Council and either appoint one of his own choosing, or give himself complete and total power over the village.

So, on one hand, he was praying that the Council wouldn't try anything foolish, but on the other hand, he was hoping that they would give him a reason to disband them.

"Well, Yu-chan, this is it, make or break time!" Kyuuzou sweatdropped as a light snore reached his ears. "Speaking of break time..." he turned and found his daughter still curled into a ball and sleeping on the sofa next to his desk. "Hey, wake up." no response. "Dammit, Yu-chan, wake up or you'll make both you and I look bad in front of our guests!" still nothing.

Kyuuzou stepped closer and caught a mumble, something that sounded like "No."

"'No'? Listen here, young lady, you may not have accepted me as your father, yet, but I'm still your Raikage! And, as such, I order you to get up!"

"...No..." Yugito groaned...Wait, that sounded more like a whimper than a groan.

"Yu-chan?" Kyuuzou tentatively stepped closer. He knew from various reports that Yugito often suffered from nightmares, and would violently lash out at anything that awoke her from them, thinking that she was attacking her dreamtime assailant.

"Get...away..." a slight sniffle.

(Yugito's Nightmare)

How had this happened? What had gone wrong? Why was she faced with this...this monster?

Everything had started out normal, just one of her favorite dreams of winning a lifetime supply of eternally fresh sushi, then everything had gone to hell. The giant cart that had been filled to the brim with her favorite dish was suddenly blown sky high and came crashing back to the ground as a burning heap. The host from the game show she'd won the sushi on was beheaded by some unseen force, and his female assistants were dismembered in much the same way, left as scattered body parts laying in the middle of steadily expanding pools of blood.

"What the hell?" Yugito immediately took up a defensive stance, readying herself for an attack from any side.

"Hm, that's a nice stance." a voice, obviously male, called out from every direction, or so it seemed. "Each limb in a position for maximum efficiency for either countering an attack, or escaping from one...And you've intentionally kept your back 'exposed'...Hoping that I'll take the bait? Don't hold your breath...As a matter of fact, I'd advise against blinking as well...You might miss something." the voice chuckled.

Yugito blinked, then felt an intense pain in her right calf that caused her to crumple.

"Everyone's gotta learn the hard way, I suppose." another chuckle.

Yugito cursed as she withdrew her hand from the large gash in her calf muscle. Despite the pain, she still rose to her feet and took up her former stance.

"Good, good, though I expected nothing less from the Jinchuuriki that fancies herself the strongest of all those yet known...Actually, I expected a bit more out of you."

Yugito winced as she felt a blade slide across her back, leaving another clean cut across her shoulder blades.

"You blinked again." the voice chided.

Yugito cursed, this bastard was quick! 'Dammit, Nibi's still sealed and my senses aren't as sharp without her.' But, nevertheless, she stood her ground.

"Foolish move. Maybe you need a little..._push_ in the right direction."

The air was forced out of Yugito's lungs as she was hit with three powerful punches to the torso in rapid succession. One in the gut, one just under her left breast, and another nearly shattering her collarbone. Much more than a simple push, if Yugito being sent tumbling was any indication.

"You need to move that nice little ass of yours, sweetheart! This is just like sex; it's a lot less fun if I have to do all the work!"

Yugito blushed and nearly faltered at the comment, but knew that's what he was hoping for, and limited her reaction to a simple blush.

"Hmmm...Naughty thoughts a brewin'?"

Yugito saw a flash of metal out of the corner of her eye and whipped around at the last second, just barely managing to block the attack. She nearly dropped the two tantō she was holding and had used to block the attack. Her wrists ached from the impact and she'd lost feeling in seven of her fingers. Glancing at her weapons, her eyes widened when she saw one was neatly cleaved in two and the second was cracked all the way through to the point where it looked like the slightest touch would cause the entire section to crumble.

'But...these were made by a swordsmith that had defected from Kiri!' that they were, made of only the finest and strongest materials, of which the mountains held an abundance, and when infused with Nibi's youki, the blades were all but indestructible. 'Dammit, I keep forgetting that Hinade's still sealed!'(4) Yugito was on her own against this powerful mystery opponent, and she was more thankful now than ever to the old man.

When she had come back to pay for her pair of tantō, the man produced nine of them. The reason for this was revealed to be that he made them not only to use up his remaining materials, but because when they did eventually break, he wouldn't be around to replace them.

(Flashback)

The old man smiled as he ran a shaking hand through his thinning gray hair. "These old bones...wouldn't allow for the tenth blade." he bowed to Yugito. "Please, consider these tantō as a gift...It's the least I can do for you, since you've allowed me to die with one final set of masterpieces under my belt." even though it was obvious the simple act of bowing caused him intense pain, the man didn't wince or clench his jaw. He just stood there, smiling and waiting patiently, like he had all the time in the world, contrary to what he had just said.

Yugito slowly stepped forward and gathered the blades up in the large cloth they were presented on. "Thank you, Kitaeru-san. I'll...see you later?" she tried to laugh, hoping that the old man was just overreacting or just making a really bad joke.

"I doubt it. But don't fret, my grandson will still be around, and knows most everything I do about making weapons." his smile didn't falter at all as he said this. He was completely at peace with the fact that his time to leave the mortal coil was near.

Yugito simply nodded and turned away, starting to feel her eyes start to sting with the beginnings of tears. "I-In that case...Thank you, Kitaeru-san...For everything."

"I must thank you as well, Yugito-san. For being a friend to an old man in a new village."

(End Flashback)

Yugito lost more than a simple weapons vendor that day. She lost her only true friend in the village. The Jinchuuriki smiled as she saw another flash and ducked just in time to see her opponent stop for a split second in surprise. But this was more than enough time for Yugito to counter. She grabbed his leg and tripped him up, causing him to fall flat on his face. but, before he even hit the ground, she drove her intact tantō into his back, through his left lung, and staked him to the ground.

But this victory was short-lived, for the body of her attacker dissolved into fine black powder and a boot found its way to the back of her head, sending her tumbling again.

"You didn't think it'd be that easy, did you?" that voice again.

Groaning in pain, Yugito waited for the world to stop spinning, idly noticing that she was now in the middle of a forest, then turned to her opponent. He was no longer hidden, choosing to just stand there in plain sight. He was much smaller than she would have thought, standing only five foot seven. And, when she mentally compared him to her height of six foot one, she had to stifle a giggle.(5)

She made it back to her feet with the help of a nearby tree and silently evaluated the shinobi before her. She could tell that he was young, a teenager at most, but he was obviously very powerful. Even with his less than impressive stature, he was intimidating nonetheless. His Hunter-style mask, black ANBU-esque attire and armor, that really big sword he was leaning on, all of it portrayed a ninja confident in his power and all but demanded the respect of all around him. But one thing sort of ruined the entire image, and that was his wildly spiky golden-blonde hair. It had to be a new color, like, Radioactive Blonde, or something.

"You know something? Slicing people to ribbons is getting kinda old." the masked ninja's sword disappeared in the blink of an eye and he cracked his knuckles loudly. "I haven't torn anyone apart in a while." then he charged at Yugito.

"Shit!" the teen cursed before crossing her arms in front of her to block the attack. She found herself being flung back by the incredible force of the knee strike and grimacing in pain as she cradled her now broken left forearm.

"It's girls like you that give blondes a bad name!" the shinobi sneered before delivering a swift and powerful kick to her chin that sent her airborne. Before she was out of reach, he grabbed her leg and swung her over his head before smashing her into the ground repeatedly and tossing her through a tree trunk.

The masked boy continued to bat the Jinchuuriki around like a cat with a ball of yarn. Ah, the irony. Between the punches, kicks, knees, and even a couple headbutts, Yugito never once touched the ground. It was like the other shinobi was playing some kind of sadistic version of "Hot Potato" with his clones.

Yugito was sent flying, by another punch from a clone, into a brick wall and she slowly slumped to the ground. Looking up slightly, she saw that she had run into the original shinobi and he was now leering down at her with his glowing purple eyes.

"Aw, you dropped her, Boss!" one of the clones complained.

The original just snapped his fingers, dismissing the clones.

"I think I've had all the fun I can with you, so I guess it's time to break this toy." quick as a flash, he straddled Yugito's torso and pinned her arms to the ground.

"Get off me!" Yugito struggled, kicking her legs and repeatedly driving her knees into the male's back.

He just grunted with the hits. "Oh, so NOW you want to fight!" he applied more pressure on her arms, causing the ground around them to crack. "Sorry, but that ship has sailed, sweetheart." thick, black tendrils rose from the ground and held Yugito's legs and arms to the ground, rendering her completely helpless. "You're mine, now." his hand went up to his face and removed his mask, but all Yugito could see was his silhouette against the bright sunlight.

"Let me go, you fucking rapist!" Yugito screamed, a growl like that of an angry panther resonating from her throat.

The shinobi's eyes began to glow crimson as he stared down at her with that demented grin, showing off his razor-sharp, shark-like teeth.

"Oh, my dear, you wound me..." his grin expanded as he started to laugh. "Allow me to return the favor!"

The last thing Yugito saw was his razor-lined maw rushing towards her face, ready to devour her bit by agonizing bit...Then everything went white as she screamed.

(Real World)

"Yu-chan? Are you al-GYAH!" Kyuuzou leapt back just before Yugito's claws could take his face off. Even if the Nibi was still sealed by the Five Elements Seal, the demon's traits still hadn't left the girl.

Yugito bolted from the sofa and scanned the room for threats, panting and sweating heavily, and gripping two of her tantō tightly.

"Yu-chan?" Kyuuzou called to his daughter tentatively, keeping his distance so as to not frighten her more.

Yugito didn't look at him. "Where is he?" she let out a shuddering breath.

"Where's who? The only people in here are you and me." Kyuuzou took a hesitant step forward, stopping instantly when he saw Yugito twitch and turn her eyes to him. "Just calm down, no one's going to hurt you."

Yugito seemed to go limp and collapsed on the sofa like a puppet that's had its strings severed. That nightmare had been a new one, something she'd never seen before in her life. It wasn't the simple reliving of her past that still plagued her sleeping hours, despite Nibi's influence. This one also felt more "real" than the others...She swore she could still feel the bruises from that beating.

"Yu-chan, I don't want to sound like a prick, but I need you to get it together." the Raikage flinched a little as his daughter fixed him with a cold stare. "After this is all over, how about we just sit down and talk, like a real family, you know? I...I really want...no, I NEED to make up for what I've done. I can't get over just how pathetic it is that my own daughter is an adult now...and I don't know a damn thing about her. I can't live with that, Yu-chan, I _won't_ live with that. All I'm asking for is another chance, just one, to prove to you that I can still be the father I should have been all along. What do you say?" Kyuuzou took his daughter's hands into his own as he kneeled before her, hope shining in his grey eyes.

Yugito simply stared at him, her expression cold and uncaring, not wavering for even a second. "As you wish, Raikage-sama." she, none too gently, removed her hands from the Raikage's grasp and walked around him to stand to the left of his chair, as she was told to do when their guests arrived.

Kyuuzou sighed heavily, rose to his feet, and walked over to sit in his Kage Chair. "You'll call me 'Dad' one day, or at the very least 'father'." Yugito's snort was the only response he received.

There was a knock at the door. "Enter." ordered a stone-faced Kyuuzou.

Raibu walked into the room and rose an eyebrow at his friend's expression, but didn't say anything about it. "Raikage-sama, the Hokage has arrived."

The Raikage nodded. "Excellent, send him in."

Raibu nodded and opened the door a crack to signal to the ANBU guards that they were to let the Konoha-nin pass, then took his spot to the Raikage's right.

The door opened and in walked two men that all three Kumo shinobi knew very well: Kakashi "Copy-cat" Hatake and Zabuza "Demon of the Mist" Momochi.

"So, the rumors are true, the Demon of the Mist is now the Demon of the Leaves." Kyuuzou nodded to Zabuza, who nodded back, the meaning of the gestures known only to them.

Yugito could barely contain herself. The man that she had admired for so long, the same one that had saved her life a decade ago, was now in the same room with her! He was, quite literally, her hero.

Then two more men walked in, Mighto Gai and an ANBU wearing an Eagle mask. Then two more men, both ANBU, one wearing an Jackal mask and the other a Deer mask. Then the Hokage himself walked in, tailed by his last two escorts; a woman with purple hair wearing a tan trenchcoat, and a shorter shinobi with a hooded cloak to conceal his identity.

"Good afternoon, Raikage-dono." the Hokage bowed.

Kyuuzou rose from his seat and also bowed. "The same to you, as well, Hokage-dono." he took note of the number of bodyguards the other Kage brought with him. "My, I know that our villages have never been on the best of terms, but don't you think all this is a little...extreme?" he gestured to the host of powerful ninjas.

Sarutobi took a quick glance at each of his escorts. "Not at all, especially considering what you've told me about your Council. According to you, they're always willing to stir up the hornet's nest, and what better time to cause trouble than when the Hokage's in town?"

Kyuuzou nodded in understanding. "Indeed, but this meeting is between you and I only, no one else is to be involved. Not the Council, not your guards, and not mine. So, I'll have to ask that anyone who isn't a Kage leave the room." he looked back at his two guards and nodded.

"As you wish, Raikage-sama." Yugito said robotically, planning to do some catching up with her hero.

"But first..." Kyuuzou said, causing everyone else to halt. "I understand the need for ANBU to hide their identities, but what reason do you have, sir?" he pointed at the shortest member of the team.

Naruto silently stared at the man for a few moments, then turned to the Hokage. "Hokage-sama?" this was Naruto's version of "Do I have to?"

No one took any notice of Yugito flinching at the sound of his voice.

Sarutobi simply nodded.

"I don't really know what difference it'll make, but whatever." Naruto removed his hood, revealing his mask and golden hair.

Kyuuzou sweatdropped. "So...You're a Hunter? Well, didn't see that coming." he mumbled to himself.

"...Radioactive Blonde." Yugito whispered as she looked at his hair.

Naruto twitched as his sharp ears picked up what she had said perfectly. "Excuse me?" he narrowed his eyes at the older girl. 'There you are.' he could sense the demonic presence inside of her, though it was very weak.

**"Hinade-chan's been sealed away by someone." **Kyuubi growled, she could already tell something was up.

'Hm, Five Element Seal?' it had been used on Naruto enough times that he knew the tell-tale signs of the technique. That, and it was the only technique that he knew of that could effectively incapacitate an already sealed demon for any significant amount of time. And Orochimaru knew the technique, so it had the be the case.

**"Yes," **Kyuubi confirmed, **"But it's not a normal seal. It's been enhanced with youki, which means it would take youki to reverse it, but there are no other Jinchuuriki in Kumo."**

'How do you know?'

**"I know because the only Bijū**** ever to take up residence in this country is the Rokubi, Raikoku, and there's absolutely no chance that she's been sealed. She fancies herself as a protector of humans, just as she was before she became a demon, and thus would never attack them unless she was provoked. This bri****ngs me to another point: we Bijū**** don't encroach on one another's territory. Lightning Country, especially Kumo, is under Rai-chan's control, so why in the name of the Ninth Circle was Hinade-chan here when she was sealed?"**

'Why was she sealed in the first place?' Naruto asked.

**"She got on the Shinigami's bad side, that's all I can tell you. You'll have to ask her yourself if you want to know more."**

'Hm, now I'm curious. Guess I'll have to unseal her, then...But first...' "Sorry, I didn't catch what you said...My mind must have been wandering." his polite tone was about as transparent as a window.

Yugito nonchalantly pointed at the spiky mop of hair on the masked shinobi's head. "With hair like that, I'll bet it was."

Naruto cocked his head to the side with a small chuckle. 'Oh, kitty wants to play games, eh?' "Oh? Was that a blonde joke? Wow, you're a regular back-of-the-class kid, aren't you? Too dumb to remember your own hair color?"

"Please, compared to..._that_, my hair might as well be white."

"You've got me there. Looks like someone whooped your ass with a bottle of bleach." Naruto smirked as he saw even the Raikage turn away to hide his snickering.

"And you look like a giant dandelion. Tell me, do you have problems with bees trying to pollinate your head?"

"Tell me, does the carpet match the drapes?" 'Time to have some real fun.' Naruto grinned behind his mask.

"Why you little-!"

"Is that a 'no'?"

Yugito snarled and took a step forward. "Watch it, kid."

Naruto looked at an imaginary watch on his right wrist. "Hm, that time of the month already?"

"I won't warn you again." Yugito growled.

"Really? That's great! I've been looking for some action ever since we left Konoha!" Naruto summoned his blade and twirled it around in his hand. "And before you get any ideas about dragging me into the mountains to have your way with me, I didn't mean that kind of action."

"Alright, that does it, you're fucking dead!" Yugito tried to lunge but found herself unable to move, her body completely frozen in place, paralyzed.

"Yugito, that's enough." the Raikage had grabbed a hold of her wrist and was applying a steady stream of electricity to fuck with her nerves.

"Aw, the virgin can't take a little innuendo?" Naruto taunted.

"_Hunter_-san..." Sarutobi gave Naruto a warning glare.

Naruto put away his sword and stepped back. "Forgive me, Hokage-sama. I got a little...carried away."

The Hokage simply nodded. "It's alright, just try to control yourself in the future."

Naruto bowed slightly. "I will try, but I make no promises."

Kyuuzou released Yugito and sighed. "Well, while we're on the subject of getting carried away, why doesn't everyone who's not a Kage carry themselves out of my office?" he didn't mean to sound rude, but they only had a limited amount of time before the Council, by some demented miracle, found out what was going on behind their backs and tried to sabotage it.

Sarutobi nodded to his escorts and took his seat across from the Raikage. "Go, I'll be fine. Explore the village, that is, if Raikage-dono will allow it."

Kyuuzou shrugged. "Sure, do whatever you want. As long as you don't kill anyone or destroy anything, everything's cool."

The Konoha-nin just nodded and left the office, Raibu and Yugito trailing behind them.

"This Yondaime Raikage...I like him." Anko said, slinging her arm around Naruto's shoulders.

"Yeah, he's MUCH better than their Sandaime...Despicable prick." Zabuza mutter the last part.

"Um...Momochi-san?" a timid female voice spoke up from behind them.

"Yeah, what?" Zabuza turned around and saw the girl that Naruto had gotten into it with staring at the floor and twiddling her thumbs.

"I...I w-was wondering...Um...If y-you..." she stuttered, causing Naruto to cock his head to the side as far as it could go.

"...What?" Zabuza scratched his head, what the hell was up with this girl? Where was the fiery little hellion that had attempted to go one-on-one with Naruto in a battle of insults?

"I was w-wondering if you...by any chance...r-remembered me?"

Zabuza scratched his chin. "Hmmm...I gotta think about this one..."

Naruto snorted. "Yeah, well, while you have your little senile moment, I'm gonna go find a nice, quiet little clearing out in the woods...and turn it into a crater. See ya'." he chuckled as Zabuza flipped him off, then his cloak enveloped his body and sank into its own shadow.

"I'm gonna go find me a weapon shop." Mitara waved to his teammates before walking away.

"We're gonna go for some grub. I've heard that the food here's second to none if you go to the right places!" Inaro said before walking off with his brother.

Kakashi silently walked off, his expression serious and stone-like, determination burning in his eyes.

Of course, Gai saw this and immediately thought his rival was off to do something most "youthful".

"Kakashi, my Eternal Rival, are you off to fan your Flames of Youth? If so, I shall join you, and we will fan together!" of course, only he failed to see the more..."insidious" implications of his wording.

Kakashi slowly turned to Gai, fiery conviction still burning within that lone pupil. "While my quest is most youthful in nature, I doubt you'd wish to join me."

"Hm? Are you implying that I can't handle it? My friend, I assure you that I can handle anything you can throw at me!" Gai dropped into his Strong Fist stance.

"Oh no, Gai, this quest doesn't involve training or battle...I've heard rumors that each shinobi village has an exclusive copy of the Icha Icha series all its own...These rumors also say that Kumogakure has one of the best of these spin-offs, and that it's never been seen outside of this village...I plan on finding out if those rumors are true." Kakashi stalked off, leaving a slack-jawed and weeping Gai collapsed on the floor.

"My Eternal Rival, does your unyouthful addiction know no bounds? We're in a foreign country for Kami's sake! Is this really how you want to represent Konoha?"

Kakashi poked his head around the corner. "I represent Icha Icha, which represents Jiraiya-sama, who represents Konoha. Therefore, I, too, represent Konoha just fine, thank you very much!"

"Konoha does not stand for perversion!" Gai cried...literally.

Kakashi's eye narrowed and he reached into one of his pockets and pulled out a scroll. "I will show you just what Konoha stands for..." he also took out a pair of full gloves and unrolled the scroll. Pulling out a small vial filled with his own blood, he poured it onto the seal and a bright light filled the entire hallway. "This is what Konoha stands for! This is what I stand for! This is what the WORLD STANDS FOR!" he whipped out his first edition golden hardback version of the very first Icha-Icha book, signed by Jiraiya himself and including over a hundred extra pages of smut not seen in ANY other copy made thereafter. This book was the very definition of rarity. Only five of them existed on the entire planet, one in each major shinobi village, and Kakashi had Konoha's.

Everyone backed away from Kakashi, not used to seeing this kind of behavior from the man. They knew he was serious about his porno, but this was taking things just a wee bit too far.

Well, not everyone backed up. Raibu stood rooted to his spot, simply staring at the book in Kakashi's hands.

"Oh Kami...Oh crap...Oh no..." Yugito stepped behind Zabuza to hide from what she knew was coming next.

Raibu bowed his head, his light brown hair casting a shadow over his eyes. His shoulders began to shake and a lone tear fell from his cheeks and splashed on the floor at his feet.

"I never thought this day would come...But I still held onto that little shred of hope...And now my prayers have been answered!" he looked at Kakashi, the same perverted fire burning in his eyes. "Behold, Copy-cat Kakashi, fellow Icha-Icha brother!" Raibu also took out a scroll and a pair of gloves. With another flash of light, the second of the five "novels" was released from its little pocket dimension. "I, too, hold one of books that make up the Lost Volume."

The Lost Volume, thought to be little more than a legend amongst hardcore perverts. But now it appeared that Kakashi and Raibu were each one step closer to revealing the truth and making the myth into reality. It was said that when all five of the Golden Books were put together, the extra chapters would make up the Lost Volume; a tome with over six hundred pages of never-before-seen smut.

"Come, Kakashi, I believe we have much to discuss." Raibu said, walking up to the younger man.

The one-eyed Jōnin nodded. "That we do." he followed after Raibu without a single word to his teammates.

Gai could only stare in shock. "The disease...it's spreading..."

Anko saw the opportunity and pounced on it. "Then you must spread the Flames of Youth to counter it! Go, get the message out to the children before they are corrupted by the likes of Cyclopes and the old guy!"

Gai instantly stood up and put on his "game face". "You're right, Mitarashi-san, I must do all I can to prevent the Flames of Youth being snuffed out by such unyouthful people!" he took off, appearing as little more than a green blur to even the most trained eyes.

A high pitched scream was heard down the hall.

Anko giggled evilly. "I wonder just how many children's lives I've just ruined." she frowned and rubbed her chin. "I really want to sample the dango here...But I don't want to miss Gai's rampage...Ah-hah!" she shifted the right sleeve of her coat to look at her watch. "If I hurry, I can do both!" she bolted down the hallway and around the corner. "Move it!" she yelled before a thump indicated that she had shoved some poor fellow into the wall.

"Hey, what the hell?" the man complained.

Zabuza stood there, not bothering to look back, pinching the bridge of his nose and then sighing.

Yugito stared behind the taller ninja with wide eyes and shook her head. "Freaks, all of them."

Zabuza nodded. "Uh-huh..." he looked at the teen in front of him. "...Wanna join the club?"

Yugito's eyebrow twitched. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"What? You'd fit right in with the rest of us!"

"...So, you're saying that I'm insane?"

Zabuza nodded. "To even attempt to get into an Insult War with a guy like N-Hunter-san, you'd have to be at least a few cards short of a full deck...Or you'd have to be just plain awesome, like yours truly." he ran a hand through his hair.

Yugito snorted. "Please, he was nothing."

"Yet he owned the hell out of you." Zabuza slung his arm around Yugito's shoulders.

"..." Yugito didn't reply.

"Wow, you went straight from the denial stage to the acceptance stage...Skipped the 'Lashing out in anger' stage completely." Zabuza received a hard elbow to his ribs. "Guess I spoke too soon." he started to drag Yugito off. "Come on, show me where we can find a nice Bar & Grill around here and we'll sit down and have a little chat."

Yugito made no effort to resist, knowing just the place to go. She didn't drink, but the owners seemed to enjoy her presence, and they also served the best sushi in the village...not that she'd ever had it anywhere else.

(With The Kages)

"So, Kyuuzou, how have you been?" Sarutobi asked, leaning back in his chair.

The Raikage sighed and shrugged. "Village issues, family issues, personal issues, the usual."

"Family issues? I thought you didn't have any living relatives?" Sarutobi rose an eyebrow.

"All I have is my daughter, Yugito..."

"The Jinchuuriki? She's your daughter?" was he serious?

"Aye, she's my child...But she refuses to acknowledge me as anything other than the Raikage."

The old Hokage suddenly burst into laughter. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, but I just realized something..."

"Well, don't keep me in the dark."

"Both Yugito and Gaara of the Desert are the children of the Yondaime of their respective villages! And, as for our vessel...we have our suspicions, but we can't confirm anything. At least not yet."

Kyuuzou chuckled. "I see...Now that I think about it, that is quite funny. Odd how life works out, eh?" he reached into a secret compartment of his desk and pulled out a large bottle of sake.

Sarutobi sweatdropped. "...You wouldn't happen to know Tsunade, would you?"

Kyuuzou laughed. "I know that anything that can go wrong, will. And I know that few things take care of stress like destruction and booze." he poured himself and Sarutobi a saucer. "A toast?" he suggested, holding up his saucer.

Sarutobi smiled and held his up as well. "To Murphy's Law?"

"To Murphy's Law." both Kages drank their alcohol, then slowly looked over their shoulders to make sure ol' Murphy hadn't setup any nasty surprises.

"So, what is it that you went to such great lengths to speak with me about? I have a feeling that the peace treaty is only the tip of the iceberg." the Sandaime Hokage said, leaning back in his chair again.

"And you'd be correct, Sarutobi. There's a lot that we need to talk about. And I do mean a LOT." the atmosphere in the room went from calm and relaxed to tense and serious in less than a second.

(Four Hours Later)

Calm oceans, immense forests, and vast mountain ranges. Few things were more breathtaking than these sights, and Kumo had them all. Not only was the village concealed within a mountain range, but, just to the East of it, lied a forest that could rival Konoha's Forest of Death, though it lacked the mutant animal life and demons. And, in places where the mountains were high enough, you could see the ocean to the North.

Kumo's Eastern Forest, called the Great Phoenix Forest, had gotten its name because, in Kumo's history, the entire forest had burned to the ground three times due to unexplainable wildfires. But, each time it was burned down, it came back twice as dense. Like the phoenix of legend, each time the forest was destroyed, it arose from its own ashes, stronger than ever. It was truly a wondrous place in every way, and, unlike the Forest of Death, it was almost always calm and peaceful.

With no forty-foot centipedes, man-eating rabbits, demonic spiders with acidic venom, and tigers the size of horses, even civilians could walk into the forest and return unharmed. There were never any terrifying sounds from the freakish critters that roamed the forest night and day. No agonized wails or final defiant screeches of the wounded or about-to-be-eaten. No haunting calls from creatures looking for mates. And no bone-rattling roars from the pissed off giants of the forest.

Just peace, quiet, and relative normality.

"Rasengan!"

...Or not.

A tall tree was leveled as a blue ball of swirling chakra bored through and snapped its thick trunk as if it were a mere twig. As the tree fell, a black, white and yellow blur shot up the side of it, leaping off the tip before it hit the ground. Another black, white and yellow blur followed the first one; with yet another blur, black and yellow, accompanying it.

The first blur suddenly swerved and dashed in between the other two, both of which immediately turned to follow it. The first blur turned again and collided with the other two, causing all three to stop, revealing them to be Naruto and his special Darkness Clones, N2 and Akiko.

"Gotta be faster than that!" Naruto taunted before disappearing again, followed by Akiko and N2. Even though both clones had enough chakra and skill to easily equal an elite Jōnin, Naruto was still keeping up with them blow for blow. But they would get him eventually; even he had to get tired at some point.

"Demon Skill: Acid Dragon!" Akiko flew through the demon seals and breathed out a cloud of sickly green gas. The gas instantly condensed into a gel-like state and hung suspended in the air as it took the shape of a dragon. Coal-black eyes snapped open and the dragon let out a screeching roar before flying towards its target, who was still bounding between the trees at speeds even Gai would compliment.

Naruto and N2 met in midair, their fists colliding with each other's and causing a small shockwave, then they broke apart and landed on separate trees. Naruto felt the combination chakra and youki spike and looked to his left.

"Oh, fuck me." he muttered and jumped away from the tree as the dragon hit it, eating away the trunk almost instantaneously and exploding in a shower of sticky, highly corrosive gel that ate through whatever it landed on. Fortunately, or unfortunately if you were one of the clones, none of the globs landed on, or anywhere near, Naruto.

"Where'd he go now?" Akiko muttered to herself, scanning the area. Her eyes widened as she felt two hands grab her feet and drag her under the soil until only her head remained above ground.

"Earth Release: Inner Decapitation Technique." Naruto said as he came out of the ground behind Akiko, seeming to just phase right through the soil. "Haven't used that one in a while."

N2 silently stalked towards Naruto, Air Cutter at the ready, hoping that Akiko could distract him long enough to land a damaging blow.

"Dammit, you suck!" Akiko screamed, trying to wiggle out of the dirt.

Naruto simply cocked his head to the side. "I'm not the one entombed, now am I?"

"No, you suck because you're cheap!"

"This isn't a video game, Akiko-chan...But, if it were, you and I both know that the ninja is always among the cheapest characters."(6)

Just a few more feet...NOW! N2 lunged, swinging his wind sword and a wide arc aimed right at his creator's neck.

Naruto ducked under the near-invisible blade of his clone's Air Cutter and landed a solid blow to its chest, knocking it back several feet before it stopped itself.

"Come on, N2, I gave you enough chakra for you to equal a Jōnin-level shinobi easily, yet you're not giving me much of a challenge here. What's up?" Naruto taunted.

N2 smirked under his mask. "I'm merely...testing your defenses." he slid into the Phantom Devil Taijutsu stance.

Naruto copied the movement. "And?" his eyes widened when N2 suddenly appeared in front of him and unleashed a flurry of punches, only fourteen of which Naruto was able to block, the other twelve hit him dead on in the torso, forcing him back.

"You're way too cocky. I know I'm just a mere clone, but we're pretty much on the same level here as far as skill goes, so you shouldn't underestim-!" N2 was cutoff by a vicious thrust punch from Naruto that sent him flying back at least a hundred feet.

"Now's not the time for a lecture, dude." using the Royal Guard facet of the Phantom Devil style, Naruto absorbed the kinetic energy from N2's punches and sent it right back at him all at once with his own. He suddenly rolled to the side just in time to avoid being demolished by an axe kick from his other clone, who had recently freed herself. "I gave you the same amount of chakra as N2, Akiko, yet you're still just as weak as he is!"

The female clone simply narrowed her eyes and came at her creator with a hard right cross that would have damn near taken off his head had he not dodged it. He tried to get around behind her, but the clone retaliated with a back elbow, which was blocked. Taking advantage of the odd position they were in, Akiko used her leg to sweep Naruto's out from under him.

Before Naruto could put his hand down to catch himself and perform a counter-attack, N2 came out of nowhere and delivered a hard kick to his ribs, then punted him high into the air.

N2 ran straight up the side of the tallest tree in the area and leapt off as he got to the top, putting him directly in Naruto's path as he was coming back down. With a powerful punch to his chin, Naruto felt his jaw break and more than a few of his teeth crack as he was sent higher into the air.

Akiko, who had remained on the ground, crouched down as low as she could and charged a hefty amount of chakra into her legs and jumped straight into the air, going about a hundred and fifty feet up before gravity came back from its bathroom break. But this jump was enough to reach N2, who gripped his fellow clone's arm and began to spin at an impressive speed before tossing Akiko right up into Naruto.

Said Genin groaned as his vision started to clear, that last punch had done a real number on him. It appeared that N2 had used his own tactic against him and had taken his super-charged punch on purpose to he could absorb the energy and use it to power his own attack.

'Clever bastard, isn't he?' Naruto was about to right himself in the air when he noticed something flying towards him from below. "Ah shit." he muttered before Akiko's arm hooked around his neck, nearly breaking it, and dragged him even higher. They had to be at least three hundred feet in the air before Akiko delivered a hard right hook, cracking Naruto's mask and spinning him around so that she was behind him. She grabbed both of his arms and held then behind his back, then placed her knee on the base of his skull as they fell.

To protect herself from the force of the impact soon to come, Akiko surrounded herself in a super-dense chakra field that appeared as a light blue glow surrounding her body. This also caused her to weigh around four tons, so when they finally hit the ground, the crater would be impressive, that was for sure.

"Sorry about this, Boss, but you told us not to hold back!" Akiko apologized just before Naruto's head was driven into the ground.

The impact caught Naruto completely off guard, as Akiko's punch had knocked his already abused brain for yet another loop. As such, the only things that saved him from being decapitated were his extremely durable skull and a last minute chakra shield that absorbed most of the force. That's not to say it didn't hurt like a bitch, though.

Smashing into the ground at nearly two hundred miles an hour, and with Akiko weighing four tons, the hard surface dirt shattered like glass as the shockwave alone tore through it.

Seconds later, N2 walked through the huge cloud of dust that had been kicked up and crouched by the edge of the six foot deep crater and looked at Akiko, who had jumped out and stood beside him, and then at Naruto, who was laying facedown and motionless at the bottom of the newly formed pit.

"...I guess we win this round, eh?" N2 nudged a pebble over the edge wand watched it bounce off of the back of Naruto's head.

Akiko kicked a much larger stone over the edge and smirked when there was no reaction from Naruto. They knew he wasn't dead, otherwise they wouldn't be able to sustain their own existence, but he was clearly unconscious, and that was more than they were hoping for.

"I guess so." the female clone confirmed. "Come on, I've got a craving for some ramen." a recent modification to the Darkness Clones, courtesy of Kyuubi, enabled them to be able to ingest any kind of food and convert it directly into chakra, meaning that, as long as they had a food source, they could sustain themselves for as long as necessary.

"But what about the Boss? We can't just l-!" N2 was cutoff by a large chain erupting from the ground and coiling around both of their bodies before slamming them together, nearly crushing them.

"Sorry, better luck next time." Naruto's voice came from the crater. "Oh, and do yourself a favor; don't look up."

This, of course, made the clones look up, only to see what looked like the sun getting closer and closer.

'Wait, isn't that the sun over there?' N2 thought.

Akiko sighed and prepared herself for certain "death". "This is gonna suck." a millisecond later the giant ball of white-hot flames collided with the ground, creating another crater that was much, MUCH larger than the first. The wave of chakra-charged fire burned away entire trees in seconds flat, turning them to ashes to be scattered into the wind by the shockwave.

The huge crater was soon filled with the now molten earth and rock, creating a pool of lava about a hundred feet in diameter and over twenty feet deep.

It was now that I certain someone decided to make her appearance.

"Zabuza was right...He really is insane." Yugito looked around, astonished at the amount of destruction the kid had wrought with just one attack.

During their chat, the former Kiri ANBU had told her a lot about the "Hunter", though he refused to reveal his real name. What he did tell her was that he was immensely powerful, highly skilled, and frighteningly smart. With a skill level of at least High Jōnin, and the chakra capacity that rivaled or may have even exceeded a Kage's, Zabuza had assured her that this "Hunter" was not someone she wanted to mess with.

Of course, Yugito was highly skeptical and brushed it off, then Zabuza dropped one hell of a bombshell. Apparently, Zabuza worked for the Hunter, as did the rest of his crew back in Konoha, and the reason for this was that he had wiped the floor with the swordsman in two battles in a row.

After this, he had said that if she wanted to know more, she'd have to ask him herself, and that's exactly what she was here to do. The more Zabuza told her about him, the more the "Hunter" seemed familiar, like she had heard about him before, but she couldn't quite put her finger on where or when. That fact that he had defeated Zabuza seemed to kick start something in her brain, and it was that something that was driving her to get answers.

But she had to find him first, and hope that he didn't do something stupid and kill himself with that last attack.

'Wait a minute, why the hell do I care?...I need some answers, yeah, that's it...I need answers, and he's the only one that has them.' even if she thought this, Yugito still heard that voice in the back of her head saying that wasn't the whole truth.

But, before any of that, there was the matter of the forest fire to attend to.

"Goddammit, Water is NOT my specialty!"

"So? You should still be able to use it effectively." that smooth, cynical voice...She was really starting to hate it.

Turning around, Yugito was treated to the site of the masked shinobi rising out of the lava like he was climbing a set of stairs submerged under it, a thin shield of chakra protecting him from the intense heat.

"I hope you enjoyed the show, Nii Yugito." even if they couldn't see it, anyone could tell that he was smirking behind that mask.

"How do you know-"

"Your name? Well, Zabuza is responsible for that...Just like I suspect he's responsible for your being here." the Hunter waved his hand and the flames around them died out quickly, leaving nothing but smoldering embers behind.

"How-"

"Very strong Fire alignment...I'm surprised Zabuza didn't tell you that."

"Will you stop-"

"Interrupting you? I would if you weren't so predictable. I finish your sentences simply because I already know what you're going to say...and I want to piss you off some more. You're pretty cute by yourself, but you're downright hot when you're mad!" he chuckled.

By this point, Yugito was only a few seconds away from lunging at the boy and strangling him, but she calmed herself enough to speak without screaming.

"Just who the hell are you?" that didn't stop her from growling, however.

"Namikaze Naruto, Genin of Konoha, at your service." Naruto gave a deep, mocking bow.

Yugito's eyes widened. "What, Genin? How in Kami's name did you get assigned to-"

"An S-Class mission? There you go with that predictability again. I'm here because I was hand-picked by the Hokage, just like everyone else on the mission. I'm here because of my abilities...ones far beyond what you've seen here. What you saw was child's play for me, literally. I created that technique when I was nine."

"...You can be very irritating, you know that?"

Naruto shrugged. "I can be a lot of things...And, if you play your cards right, I can be the one to get rid of that pesky virginity of yours." he gave her an eye-glow, the equivalent of a wink since she couldn't see his eyes.

Yugito snarled in rage and lunged at the boy, tantō ready to gouge his eyes out after she ripped off that mask.

Naruto chuckled and caught both of Yugito's wrists, stopping her attack cold. "So predictable. Seems like the little virgin still can't take an innuendo."

"Naruto-kun, is there a problem?" a large raven landed on a fallen tree near the two warriors.

"Nah, Kuro-chan, this'll be a cakewalk." Naruto smirked and jerked Yugito into him before delivering a headbutt to her chest that drove the air from her lungs and fractured two of her ribs.

Yugito slid along the ground and fell to one knee when she stopped, coughing up a storm. Glaring back at her new opponent, she wiped the blood away from the corner of her mouth and stood up. "Zabuza also said I'd probably have to beat the information I wanted out of you...Glad I came prepared."

Naruto cocked his head to the side. "You think you've prepared yourself to take me on? Then you've already lost this battle." he held out his hand and the Black Soul shot out from his shadow and into his palm. "I hope you prove to be worthy of my time, Yugito-_chan_."

Yugito narrowed her eyes, then smirked before blurring out of existence.

Naruto sighed and slowly turned around. 'Three...Two...One.' as soon as he reached one Yugito appeared and slashed him across the face with her long claws.

"Where's that speed I saw earlier?" the female Jinchuuriki smirked.

Naruto sighed again, his head still turned to one side to hide his face. "I don't want this game to end too soon, so I won't go all-out on you." he turned to face Yugito again and she frowned as she saw the gashes she'd left on his mask disappear as it repaired itself. "But I see that kitty still has her claws." Naruto smacked the taller ninja away with a rough, though seemingly effortless backfist.

Yugito righted herself in midair and threw two kunai at Naruto, who nonchalantly batted them away with his sheathed sword.

"At this rate, I won't even be needing this." Naruto gestured to his odachi.

Yugito growled and jumped backwards into the treeline. "Up for a little game of Hide and Seek?"

Naruto shrugged. "I prefer Seek and Destroy, but whatever turns you on."

Yugito's voice echoed off the trees. "How about Cat and Mouse, then?"

Naruto grinned. "Well, in that case...here, kitty, kitty, kitty..." he casually walked deeper into the forest. Be it the Forest of Death, or the Great Phoenix Forest, within these trees lied his domain. In this place, where shadows were more than plentiful, this fight was all but over. But that didn't mean he couldn't drag it out to have some more fun.

Meanwhile, Yugito found herself high up in the forest canopy, trying to think of a plan of action.

'Zabuza said he was strong, but fuck!' she rubbed her chest where she had been headbutted and winced as she felt the a bruises over her fractured ribs. There was also a bruise forming on her face where she had taken that backfist. 'Shit! I'm not used to fighting without Nibi...I can't be as liberal with my chakra as I could before, and Demon Skills are out of the question without her youki. My control is also out of whack, but it's not that bad. I can't overpower him, and, judging from what I saw back there, running won't do me any good either.' she smirked. 'The only other option is to outsmart him.' creating seven Shadow Clones, Yugito sent them all out in random directions, instructing them to set traps all around the forest before dashing off herself.

She never saw a white Hunter's mask melt out of the shadow of the tree branch she'd been perched on. 'Boss, she's headed south, but she's sent out seven clones to throw you off.' the clone mentally relayed to Naruto.

'Oh? She just keeps making this easier and easier. I'm sending N2 out in my place to destroy the clones and lure out the real deal. She'll think it's me wasting all my chakra on mere clones, and try to get the drop on me when she thinks I'm weak enough.'

'What should I and the others do?' the clone asked.

'Just keep tabs on her, and engage only if you're spotted. Kill any clones you come upon, I want her to waste as much chakra as possible making more.'

'Orders received and understood, Boss.' the clone projected the orders into the minds of the other clones and moved to follow Yugito.

Naruto chuckled evilly from his perch at the edge of a small ridge overlooking a rather large river. "She's got the skill, and she's got the power, but she relies far too heavily on her demon, and that will be her downfall here."

"Ah, but don't you rely on your demon just as much, or at least the demonic part of you?" Kurohane pointed out, standing next to Naruto in her human form.

"Yes, but I achieved a sort of...balance that she doesn't have. Before, I always tried to play myself off as being more demon than human, and I found that I was wrong. And, in that realization, I attained a near perfect balance between not only my human and demon blood, but in my human and demon chakra. Though I never showed it, using my hanyou chakra was much more difficult than using either Kyuu-chan's or my own. But now..." he held out his hand and a purple Rasengan formed, "it comes as naturally as breathing for me." he cancelled the orb and stood to his full height.

"So, what do we do now?" Kurohane asked, walking behind the boy and wrapping her arms around his neck while resting her head on his shoulder.

Naruto lifted his hand to touch Kurohane's face and gently let his fingers slide down her cheek. "I can think of a few things..." he trailed off, letting the suggestion hang. He knew she wouldn't go for it, but it was still fun to mess with her.

"...Okay..." came Kurohane's whispered reply.

Naruto frowned. "Say what?"

"If you're really offering...okay." Kurohane started to nibble on his right ear, showing that she wasn't bluffing or just trying to start another innuendo battle.

"I was just joking, you know that, right?" Naruto sighed in relief when she stopped nibbling on him.

"But I wasn't...I know I'm only supposed to be your bodyguard, essentially, but I want to mean something to you." Kurohane's heart was racing, she couldn't believe she was saying this!

Naruto shook his head. "But you do mean something to me, otherwise you wouldn't have arms right now." he joked.

"Naruto, I'm serious...I don't want to be just another friend...I want to be more than that." Kurohane's right hand cupped Naruto's chin and moved his head so he was facing her.

Naruto didn't resist at all, actually murring at the feel of Kurohane's leather gloves against his skin.

"What will your father think?" Lord Garandou was NOT someone Naruto wanted to piss off.

Kurohane gave a soft smile as she used her thumb to push Naruto's mask up a little. "He'll understand perfectly...Afterall, he's the one that encouraged me to follow my heart." she pushed the mask up a bit more. "My sisters have all found someone, my brothers as well..." Naruto still showed no signs of protest as the mask slid up his face even more. "I'm the only one that's alone...I know you know what that feels like, to feel alone even when you're surrounded by others." Kurohane was just centimeters from her goal. "To see them all looking so happy with one another...It makes you wonder, 'Will that ever be me? Will I ever get my chance to feel that happiness?'...You've found that happiness in Kyuubi...But me..." just one more centimeter to go..."I know that I can only experience that with you." there, his lips were hers for the taking. "So please..." she leaned in, "just give me a chance..." her eyes closed, "to be happy."

'Kyuu-chan?' Naruto had no problems giving Kurohane what she wanted, and also didn't mind taking another mate, but he wanted the permission of his first before doing anything.

**"Zzzzzzzzzzzzz..."** he only got Kyuubi's snoring as a reply.

'Ah, to hell with it.' Naruto leaned in, closing the miniscule distance between him and Kurohane, and their lips connected.

However, not even a second after Kurohane entered her world of bliss, she was ripped from it as Naruto's lips were ripped from hers when he felt the presence of another in the clearing.

"Hey, dude, Mitara told me to ask you if you-oh!...Oh, crap, my bad, man." Inaro stumbled over his own words. Within his group of friends, it was considered a sin to cock-block someone else in the group, unknowingly or not. Well, apparently, Inaro had just interrupted Naruto's "quality time" with Kurohane. "Sorry, Naruto, I should've checked or something before I came over here."

Naruto sighed, pushing his mask back into place. "It's not me you should be apologizing to...and it's not me you should be getting ready to run from." he pointed at Kurohane, who was glaring at the Jackal-masked ANBU with unbridled fury.

"Oh...Mitara wants to know if you want to come with the rest of us for a drink later, but you don't have to answer now, 'cause I gotta go, bye!" all of this was said in the same breath before Inaro dashed away with Kurohane hot on his tail, brandishing her scythe like it was a flag for feminine rage.

Naruto sighed and muttered about rain checks. "Might as well check up on the clones' progress." he closed his eyes and concentrated on the chakra signature of one of his clones. Locking on to it, he projected his mind into the clone's to see through it's eyes. Finding the first one to still be on Yugito's trail, he hopped to the mind of another clone, finding it toying with one of Yugito's clones. Commanding it to kill the clone and carry on, Naruto went to the mind of N2.

'Doing your job?' he asked.

'Very well, thank you.' N2 impaled Yugito with his clawed hand, then screamed in "frustration" about it being another clone before stalking off to find his next victim. 'Though I'd be lying if I said this wasn't boring as shit.' he killed another clone and let loose a string of curses to keep up the act.

'Yeah, well it's time to bring this one home. Is she following you?' he may have been able to see through his clone's eyes, but that was it. Though, if a clone was destroyed while he was still in its mind, he would instantly return to his own body, which would be put on autopilot with only a small part of his mind controlling it, and he would feel the pain from the fatal blow dealt to the clone. But, with N2 or Akiko, Naruto didn't have to worry about that, since they were, individually, almost as strong as he was.

They had all of his knowledge, and were gifted with the potent mix of demonic youki and human chakra that enabled them to use both Demon Skills and regular techniques. And, having Naruto's knowledge, they could also use his original techniques. The only thing they couldn't use was the Black Soul, which only he could wield.

'...Yeah, she's tailing me from above. She's about thirty yards behind me right now.' it was hard for N2 to keep it up. Did this chick really think that he didn't notice her?

'Good, lead her right back to me and I'll take care of the rest.' Naruto left N2's mind and grinned a grin that promised one hell of a beatdown. "That's right, kitty, chase your mouse right into the dragon's lair." and he knew the perfect place to set up that lair. 'N2.' he opened a mental link with the clone.

'Yeah?'

'Lead her to the cave about a mile west of your position.' Naruto headed off to the cave himself to clear it of any unwanted occupants. While he hadn't heard about Kumo's bat problem, he knew that all forests had their monsters, and if they weren't roaming around amongst the trees, they were hiding away somewhere. 'Who knows, maybe I'll find something with a soul worth taking.' sure, mammoth tigers and low-level Onigumo were nice and all, but they really didn't have all that much to offer other than a bit of entertainment.

Standing at the mouth of the mountain cave, Naruto snorted as his hanyou eyes functioned perfectly in the darkness, allowing him to see just as well as he could in the light. He saw nothing, he smelled nothing, he sensed nothing. The cave was completely empty, not counting the various insects, small bats, and eyeless fish inhabiting the small stream flowing within it.

There wasn't really anything he had to do to set up an ambush, he just had to be there, really, so now he was left with nothing to do while N2 made his way to the cave, walking to make his act more believable. Naruto figured he had around ten or fifteen minutes to spare, so he decided to poke around the cave, intrigued by the fact that most of the animals that were permanent cave-dwellers had evolved to live without the use of sight, and had thus lost their eyes somewhere along the way.

Transparent crayfish, eyeless crabs, blind tarantulas, huge mutant ticks, only a few ba-wait a minute, ticks?

Naruto looked at the cave wall to his left and stared at what appeared to be the biggest, nastiest tick he'd ever seen in his life. This thing was huge! About the size of a large grapefruit, which was downright unholy when you considered that normal ticks grew no larger than the tip of a pencil. He continued to stare at it, walking closer and closer to the arachnid. He started to wonder if these things posed any danger to people, but the creature quickly answered his question by leaping off the wall and attempting to latch onto his body to drink his blood. Naruto simply used the sheathed Black Soul to smack the little terror right out of the cave, where it exploded as soon as the sunlight hit it.

"Hm, extreme aversion to light...Definitely demonic." looks like he found the monsters that resided in the Great Phoenix Forest. "I wonder what fire does to these parasites." he summoned a fireball about the same size as the tick he'd killed, but immediately dismissed it when he felt N2's chakra signature approaching the cave. Looking at the cave ceiling, he saw it was covered with thousands of pulsating egg sacks, each on with about three ticks in it, judging from the size. "Showtime." he grinned and slipped further back into the darkness of the cave.

"Here, kitty, kitty, kitty..." N2 called as he entered the cave. "I know you're here, so why don't you come on out? I promise not to hurt you...too much." he had to make her believe that he thought she was hiding in the cave in order for Naruto's plan to work. 'Boss?'

'I'm flanking her, keep it up.' Naruto ordered.

'Cutting off the escape route?'

'Yep. Oh, and look up, you'll find a nasty little surprise that this cave supplied...a couple thousand of them, actually.'

N2 looked up and grimaced. 'Eww, what the hell are those?'

'Ticks.' Naruto answered.

'...Ticks?' to say N2 was skeptical was an understatement.

'Ticks.'

'...As in blood-sucking arachnids?'

'The same.'

'...Demonic?'

'I think so.'

'You _think_ so?'

'It's the easiest explanation for their size and the fact that they blow up when sunlight hits them, but I don't sense any youki from them at all. In fact, I don't sense anything from these things, no chakra, no youki, nothing.'

'...Maybe they absorb energy from their victims along with their blood?' N2 supplied as he poked around the cave, trying his damnedest not to draw attention to the beasts above.

'That sounds like the most likely situation. Oh well, it doesn't really matter, I'm going to incinerate everything in this cave after I'm done with Yu-chan.' Naruto grinned as he slipped behind Yugito, who was coming up behind N2. 'It's time.' he gave the signal and N2 whirled around to face Yugito.

"Hiya!" the clone greeted before punching Yugito in the chest, sending her flying back into Naruto, who lifted his leg and winced a little at the sound Yugito's falling body made after the back of her head connected with his boot. "Oh, damn!" N2 clutched the back of his own head.

Naruto plopped down on Yugito's back(really, he sat on her) and flicked her ears to wake her up.

"Hey, hey you, wake up. No cat-naps!" he grabbed her ear and pinched it, causing her to awaken with a yelp.

"Ah! What the fuck? Get off me!" the teen squirmed under her captor, but screamed in pain as the boy's weight suddenly multiplied several times until there was well over a ton of weight pressing down on her. It took all of her strength and more than a little chakra to keep from being crushed.

"Bad kitty." Naruto, surrounded by a condensed chakra shield, chuckled. "Now then, why don't you tell me a little about yourself? Seeing as how you sought me out in order to get information about me, it's only fair that, since I outsmarted and overpowered you, that I get some info out of you."

Yugito turned her head to glare at the boy on her back. "Fuck you."

"Oh, so _that's_ why you came to find me. Well, as flattering as that is, all you had to do was ask, you know." Naruto laughed and gave the older ninja a firm slap on her ass.

Yugito roared furiously as chakra erupted from her body and she forced Naruto off her back."I'm going...to kill you." she growled, flexing her clawed fingers convulsively.

Naruto simply bounced on the balls of his feet in excitement. "There's that anger again! N2, sit this one out, she's all mine." he cracked his knuckles and beckoned Yugito to come at him.

Taking out two of her tantō, Yugito dashed to the side, moving at mid-Jōnin speed, ducked under an almost careless right hook from Naruto, and slipped around behind him to plant one of the small swords between his left shoulder blade and his spine.

Naruto looked like he was about to fall to his knees, but put his hand on the ground and flipped forward while swinging his right leg up violently. The heel of his boot found its mark right on Yugito's chin, lifting her a good five feet in the air before she recovered with a back flip and landed on a stalagmite.

Naruto reached over his shoulder and snatched the tantō out of his body without so much as a grunt of pain. "...Ow." he chuckled before hurling the blade back at its owner. "Try again."

Yugito snarled and caught her weapon. "As you wish." she sped around behind him again and stabbed him in the kidneys with both of her tantō, then stepped back with a smirk as she saw him stumble forward, expecting him to fall.

But he simply chuckled and slid the two blades out of his body. "Again." he tossed the blades back to Yugito.

Yugito's eyes widened as she saw the wounds she'd inflicted heal right before her eyes. She started to sweat when his body armor repaired itself and was good as new once again.

Flying through handseals, Yugito called out her attack. "Lightning Release: Storm Lion!"(7) small bolts of electricity arced between her fingers on each hand and gathered in her palms to become two large lightning bolts. At first Naruto thought she was going to launch them at him, but as the bolts flew through the air they split into hundreds of much smaller bolts, which began to form into two solid masses.

The masses sprouted four legs and two glowing red eyes each, then roared at Naruto before charging with incredible speed.

"Great, even outside of the Forest of Death, I have to deal with oversized cats." Naruto muttered as he dodged claw swipes and lightning bolts from the beasts.

"How do you like my pets?" Yugito smirked.

"I think they're just big pussies." Naruto shrugged, then made his own set of handseals. "Earth Release: Tiger Pit." the ground suddenly parted before Naruto and formed into a deep pit with large stone spikes protruding from the bottom to skewer anything that fell into the hole.

"Do you really think they're going to fall into that?" Yugito laughed at the useless technique.

"It's not meant for them." Naruto whipped his battle chain from around his torso and flung it at Yugito. The chain wrapped itself around her right leg and Naruto jerked on it, ripping Yugito off the ground and towards him, making her cancel her lions. "Down you go!" he pulled the chain down, planning on slamming her down into the spike pit below.

But the chain snagged, causing Naruto to look up to see Yugito using both her chakra and her claws to cling to a stalactite.

Instead of trying to rip her away from it, Naruto simply chuckled and unwrapped the chain from her leg. "I'd advise you to get down from there, otherwise, I'll be the least of your worries." he gestured for Yugito to look up.

Yugito scowled and opened her mouth to make a snide remark, but stopped when she heard a wet ripping sound that caused her to look up.

"What th-?" was all she could get out before a giant tick lunged at her, forcing her to release her grip on the stalactite and fall to the ground. She would have fallen into the Tiger Pit, but Naruto caught her with his cloak, also using it to crush the tick.

"I'm not done with you yet, so I can't have you being done in by mere parasites...But that doesn't mean I can't have fun watching you try to avoid them." Naruto looked up and saw every one of the pulsing sacs vibrating violently, some even falling to the cave floor. "Looks like you've woken them up, and I think they're in the mood for a snack." Naruto laughed and snapped his fingers, summoning a large dome of fire to protect himself while he watched the show.

Yugito growled, then winced as she felt one of the ticks latch onto her leg and start feeding on her blood. She grabbed the offending invertebrate and ripped it out of her skin, then crushed it and tossed it away. She suddenly stumbled as a wave of dizziness washed over her. Her vision blurred for a second before returning to normal, but she was disoriented long enough for three more ticks to latch onto her.

The female Jinchuuriki tried to fight them off, but their numbers and the powerful toxin in their saliva proved to be too much for her in her weakened state, and she was quickly immobilized, allowing the ticks to feed at their leisure.

Well, they would have, had Naruto not gotten fed up with the pitiful display. "Fire Release: Return to Purity." the dome of fire surrounding him exploded outward, turning into an unstoppable moving wall of bright orange flames. The wave crashed over Yugito, burning the ticks to ashes in seconds, but not harming her at all. In fact, the flames didn't seem to burn anything other than the ticks. It didn't melt the limestone, it didn't kill the blind spiders, or the eyeless fish. It didn't evaporate the stream, it didn't even burn the sparse patches of grass outside of the cave when the flames spewed forth from the mouth of the cave.

The reason for this: Return to Purity was a Divine Technique. This was one of the perks of being able to use human chakra. Just like Raiden's Punishment, the attack was meant to work on demons or any other creatures that qualified as "unnatural" that were in the blast zone. Naruto's Fire alignment kept him from being burned, and, because of the Five Element Seal, Yugito was also untouched. The seal may have been enhanced through youki infusion, but it still fed off of her human chakra to work, and thus the youki went undetected by the holy flames.

"Pathetic. Absolutely pathetic!" another tower of fire, real fire, erupted before Yugito, who was just starting to regain the use of her limbs, and she cowered away from it. Naruto slowly, methodically stepped through the wall of fire, unaffected by the intense heat, and stopped just in front of Yugito. "Care to explain that pitiful performance?" he growled and grabbed the front of Yugito's shirt and hauled her into the air. "Well?"

Yugito tried to speak, but no words would come out of her mouth, she was still mostly paralyzed and was starting to hallucinate because of the toxic cocktail the demon ticks pumped into her. Though her demon was sealed, she still retained enough of her immunity to poisons to survive, but at the moment she was suffering effects similar to an LSD trip.

This didn't escape Naruto's notice. "Your eyes...They're dilated and glazed over..." 'Great, she's fucking high!' he growled and placed his free hand on her chest over her heart.

"P-Pervert..." Yugito groaned, thinking that he was fondling her breast, and not really minding.

"Shut up." his hand glowed green as he pumped healing chakra into the older ninja's system, eradicating the poison in her blood and healing the wounds she'd suffered from all those ticks jamming their feeding tubes into her skin.

Yugito gasped as she felt the medical technique do its job. As she regained her mobility, she also regained her higher brain functions.

"LET GO OF ME, YOU PERVERT!" Yugito went to kick Naruto right in the chin, but he snarled and slammed her into the ground with enough force to shatter every bone in her body had she not been a Jinchuuriki. While the demon was sealed, the modifications and adaptations that it made to her body remained, and among them was immunity to most poisons and remarkably strong bones.

But that's not to say it didn't hurt like a bastard, and he had somehow paralyzed her limbs again.

"Boss, do you really have to be so rough with her? I mean you already won the fight, and it's pretty obvious she's no real threat, so what's up?" N2 stepped out from behind a large stalagmite.

Naruto didn't bother to look at the clone, choosing to keep his eyes locked on Yugito's.

"This pitiful little girl claims to be the most powerful of the known Jinchuuriki, and I expected a better fight than this, even with your demon sealed. I even fought you on equal terms, not using any youki whatsoever, and I still dominated you. That should NOT have happened! I expected a good fight, I expected pain, I _wanted_ pain, but the only thing even remotely painful about this encounter was watching your pathetic attempt at an ambush!" Naruto hauled a shocked Yugito into the air again.

"Y-You know a-about N-Nibi?" Yugito didn't like where this was going.

"Of course I do, fool! I'd be an idiot if I didn't try to find out all I could about my fellow Jinchuuriki." Naruto's eyes glowed red under his mask.

"Y-You're a Vessel?" Yugito's eyes went wide.

"Namikaze Naruto, Genin of Konoha, and container of Kyuubi no Kitsune, at your service." Naruto lifted up Yugito's shirt, ignoring her protests, and revealed the seals on her stomach. "I hope that this is the cause of your poor show here today. I'm going to get rid of this seal, and the next time we do battle, you'd better be at one-hundred percent, and..." he pulled Yugito closer. "You'd better hurt me." using a tendril from his cloak, Naruto held Yugito's shirt up and blurred through a set of one-handed seals. "Five Element Unseal." purple flames, representing the five core elements, engulfed the tips of his fingers on his right hand. He then rammed those fingers into Yugito's stomach, destroying the second seal placed on her and sending her flying back further into the cave, where she smashed into the wall and was knocked out.

"Ouch." N2 snickered. "So, what now? We leavin' her here?"

"Sure, there's nothing in here that can harm her anyway." Naruto turned to leave, but he was suddenly assaulted by the memory of a particularly severe beating he had suffered at the hands of a group of teenage Genin when he was five. They'd pretty much broken every bone in his body, then left him to die in the back of a cave miles away from Konoha. While he now felt at home in the darkness, back then it terrified him like nothing else. It had always brought about the feeling that something was going to kill him, but he wouldn't ever see it until it was too late, and he'd never know where it would come from or when.

He looked back at the motionless girl and sighed, he couldn't just leave her here, otherwise he'd be no better than the inhabitants of Konoha. He'd already beaten the hell out of her, he couldn't change that, but he could at least look out for his fellow Jinchuuriki.

'Besides, she can tell me more about this place.' he moved to grab her wrapped ponytail and drag her out of the cave, but stopped when he remembered that those Genin had dragged him into the cave by his own hair. Seeing no other way of getting her out of the cave that wouldn't trigger memories that might lead him to killing her in a sudden fit of blind rage, Naruto turned to carrying Yugito back to Kumo on his shoulder.

"You got a thing for her, Boss?" N2 asked, poking Yugito in the back of the head while following Naruto.

"Just looking out for my own kind, that's all." Naruto drawled.

"What about all the sex talk?"

"The innuendos? That was just to piss her off."

"But you said she was hot when she was pissed."

"And she is."

"So you do have a thing for her?"

"I don't have a 'thing' for every hot chick I meet."

"Yes, you do." N2 said.

"I think I'd know who I've had 'things' for in the past."

"Of course you do, you just won't admit it. But I have access to all of your memories, so I can admit it for you." N2 walked beside Naruto and started rattling off his past crushes. "You had a crush on Hana, Sakura, and Ino when you were younger. You had a small crush on Yugao that lasted for about a week. You were starting to develop one for Hinata before the Incident. When you first met Anko, you had a thing for her. When you first saw Kurenai, you had a thing for her. When you met Haku in Nami no Kuni, you had a thing for her. When you first met Chigusa and Kiriko, you had a thing for them, too. And you've definitely got a thing for Kurohane." N2 scratched his chin as he though of more women. "Oh, and how could I forget Ayane-onee-chan? You had a crush on her for, what, six years? From the time you were five all the way up to eleven, you liked her. You've gotten over it since then, but it was still there." Naruto was silent. "...And it might still be lurking around in that dark pit of sane madness you call a mind."

Naruto simply snorted. "How could I have had a crush on anyone when I felt nothing for most of my life?"

"Just because you ignore and push away your feelings doesn't mean they aren't there. Those kinds of feelings confused the hell out of you back then, so you simply suppressed them so they wouldn't fuck with your head. Back then, you didn't know what it was, or just refused to acknowledge it, but now you recognize them as crushes, though you still refuse to admit it."

"When did you become a damn psychologist?"

"When did you create me?"

"Meh." Naruto just grunted and walked slightly faster.

"And this round goes to N2!"

"And so does a rock to the face!"

"What?" N2 asked dumbly before Naruto kicked an apple-sized stone off the ground and used the scabbard of the Black Soul to bat it right into N2's forehead with enough force to crack his mask. "Ow, fucker! Walked right into that one!" he took off the mask, revealing that his face was, indeed, identical to Naruto's, unlike most of Naruto's other clones, who either couldn't remove their masks, or had grotesque faces that usually had really big mouths with really big and really sharp teeth.

"Put that back on before someone sees you!" ordered Naruto, ever paranoid about fangirls...they had proven, with the Uchiha, that they could be anywhere at anytime, and were virtually undetectable until they were right on top of you, often literally.

"Alright, alright, damn!" N2 put the mask back on after the crack had repaired itself. "Don't see what the big deal is, there's no one around to see me!" Naruto pointed to Yugito. "She's knocked the fuck out! What's she gonna do, rape you in her sleep?"

"Who knows what fangirls are capable of." Naruto shrugged. There had been more than a few occasions in which the Uchiha's fangirls had gotten the drop on the entire team, including Kakashi, while they were walking through the streets. No one had seen them coming, except maybe Sakura, but, knowing her, she probably coordinated the whole thing. Afterall, she, along with Ino, were the Presidents of the official fanclub.

It was then discovered that there really was something that could drive fangirls off for a day or two, and that something was Naruto. With a single glare and a small amount of killing intent he had sent no less than thirty fangirls running and screaming. This turned out to be a mistake, since the Uchiha clung to him for about a week after that, knowing that the girls would leave him alone as long as Naruto was within ten feet of him.

The Uchiha returned to keeping his distance from his vastly more powerful teammate when Naruto literally delivered him to the doorstep of the Sasuke Fanclub HQ wrapped up like a birthday present with ninja wire and a purple bed sheet. The little red bow on top of Sasuke's head completed the package, and he was carried off into the fourth circle of hell by a squealing mass of feminine flesh. He was only able to escape with his virginity intact because a fight broke out over who would take it from him.

'Good times.' Naruto chuckled a little as he remembered the look of pure horror etched on the Uchiha's face throughout the team meeting that had taken place the next day.

"So, what now?" N2 asked, juggling five kunai he'd made from his own body.

Naruto summoned Akiko. "You take her and go scout out the village. I'd like to know how to navigate Kumogakure if someone decides to cause trouble and we need a way out."

N2 saluted his creator. "Yes sir! Come on, Akiko, we've got work to do." with that, he dashed off into the woods towards Kumo.

"Whatever." Akiko muttered before taking off after her counterpart.

Naruto sighed and looked to his right, only to get an eyeful of Yugito's shapely ass.

**"What the hell did I miss?"** Kyuubi asked, apparently just waking up from her little nap.

'Nothing much...'

**"Uh-huh..."** Kyuubi shrugged, she could just go through his memories later.

'I unsealed the Nibi.'

**"Oh? I can talk to Hinade-chan now?"**

'Doubt it, her vessel's dead to the world right now.'

**"Aw, that blows...Oh well, something tells me she'll seek you out once she awakens, so I'll talk to Hinade-chan then."**

'I'm gonna go drop her off and find out where we'll be staying while we're in Kumo.' Naruto walked straight into a tree, disappearing into its shadow along with Yugito.

(Raikage's Office)

"Have they been spotted again?" Sarutobi asked, a deep frown firmly etched on his face.

"No. Ever since their first appearance, they've taken great care to keep under the radar. I'm starting to think they wanted us to see them before." Kyuuzou, now smoking a pipe much like Sarutobi's, had a near identical frown on his own face.

"They probably did."

"Hm?"

"Have you ever noticed that you can't find things when you're looking for them? Then, once you give up and stop searching, you find it in the most obvious place? Say you've lost a book, and you tear your office apart looking for it, but don't find any trace of it. You eventually give up and go back to your chair. Then you look up to check the time, or something, and, out of the corner of your eye, you see the book laying on the top of your bookshelf."

Kyuuzou nodded. "Ah, yes, many an Icha-Icha has been found that way."

Sarutobi coughed a bit. "Anyway, the point is that the same principle applies to this situation. They let you see them once so you'd panic and begin your exhaustive search for them. This would cause you to overlook some of the most obvious places they would be hiding, and thus allows them to infiltrate the village and go unnoticed until it's too late to stop them. Because you're looking to hard, they can be right under your nose and you'd never know it."

"So, what do you propose I do?"

"Stop looking for them. Make them think that you've called off the search because you believe they're long gone after being caught the first time. They'll get cocky after that and be more relaxed with their hiding. Mark my words, just days after you call off the search, some random shinobi patrolling the forest will see them walking into a cave, or something."

"You sure it'll work?"

"In Konoha, we've caught many a mercenary that way."

Kyuuzou sighed. "But these are no mercenaries, they're MUCH more dangerous than that."

Sarutobi nodded. "I know that, but the same principles still apply. They still have egos, and those egos can be exploited..." he trailed off as he noticed another presence in the room. "I assume you have a good reason for being here?"

Kyuuzou's brow furrowed as the Hokage spoke to someone that wasn't there, or so he thought, then his eyes widened as the Hunter-nin that was part of his escort team stepped out of the shadowed corner of the office. His widened eyes narrowed when he saw that the Hunter had his unmoving daughter slung over his shoulder.

Sarutobi sighed. "What did you do?"

The blonde shrugged. "Blame Zabuza. He told her about me, she came looking to beat some info out of me, and received a beating herself. I'm here to find out what I should do with her, and don't worry, she's not dead, just unconscious." he looked at the Raikage for that last part.

"Just sit her on the sofa." Kyuuzou pointed at the piece of furniture next to his desk.

Naruto nodded and did just that. "I'm also here to ask where our team will be staying while we're here."

"You'll be staying here in the tower, where it'll be less likely for the Council to try something."

Naruto nodded. "I guess I'll inform the others."

"They've already been told, and they've already divided the rooms amongst themselves. Speaking of which, you'll be rooming with Momochi-san."

Naruto's eye twitched. "Why wasn't I informed of this before?"

Kyuuzou chuckled a bit. "I assigned two ANBU to tell you, but I guess they didn't want to go near you since you were in the process of leveling the forest."

Naruto snorted. "Fine, I'm going to my room now." he gave a small bow to both Kages and turned to leave, but not before calling over his shoulder, "Kumogakure once boasted about having the strongest of the known Jinchuuriki...Consider her dethroned." the door opened, then closed, and the masked Genin was gone.

Kyuuzou's pipe nearly fell from his lips. "Are you freaking serious?" he looked at Sarutobi for confirmation.

The old man sighed. "He is Namikaze Naruto, and he is, in fact, Konoha's Jinchuuriki."

"So, the rumors about his power are true...But I doubt that was a fair fight, since Yugito didn't have access to her demon, while he did."

"Naruto doesn't fight like that. If it is a fight to determine who is the strongest, he'll make sure he and his opponent are on equal ground before battling, so neither of them have any excuses when they lose. He either cutoff the Kyuubi's youki, or broke the Five Element Seal on Yugito." both Kages could feel the demonic energy flowing through the unconscious teen. "Looks like it was the latter, but knowing Naruto, it was probably the former."

"What?"

"He fought her to see who the strongest Jinchuuriki was, not who had the strongest demon or who could harness the most power from their demon. Something like that an only be decided by them meeting as normal shinobi, not as demon vessels. So, if Naruto beat her with just normal chakra, I think it's safe to assume he could beat her with youki as well." Sarutobi glanced at Yugito. "But I have a feeling that Naruto wasn't satisfied, and he'll be waiting for round two."

"I doubt Yugito would decline the challenge. What rank does your Jinchuuriki hold?" Kyuuzou asked, curious as to whether or not Konoha's Council was as prejudice as Kumo's.

"Genin." Sarutobi all but hissed.

"Council?" Kyuuzou ventured.

"Bingo."

"Same here. Yugito is one of the strongest ninjas in the village, yet she only holds the rank of Tokubetsu Chūnin because the Council refuses to give her any kind of authority over anyone else. Bastards."

(With Naruto)

Asking a couple random ANBU about the rooms, Naruto finally found his and, using a shadow tendril as a key, unlocked the door and walked in.

"Hey, 'Ruto, what's good?" Inaro slurred, giving the impression that he was drunk.

"...Kuro-chan didn't kill you?" Naruto said, seeming to be genuinely surprised to see Inaro still breathing.

"No, but she did give him one hell of a beating." Isaro said as he came out of the kitchen with a bag of ice and placed it on his brother's head. "He's not drunk, your girlfriend cracked him over the head with her scythe. I'm surprised he even remembers his own name, let alone yours."

Naruto nodded, then looked around. "What are you doing here? Isn't your room across the hall?"

"No, Zabuza agreed to trade rooms with Inaro, Mitara and I, since this one has three bedrooms."

"Ah, I see. Where is Mitara, anyway?"

"He's still out looking for his 'perfect katana'."

"Eh?"

"He hates the ANBU-issue katanas we get, so he's always on the lookout for better ones."

"He never told me that, I've got at least thirty katanas from people I've killed." Naruto had to do a bit of mental calculating, but that sounded about right.

"Really?"

"Yeah." Naruto snapped his fingers and a portal opened up in the section of the wall that the bookcase in the corner cast a shadow on. Reaching into the portal, Naruto started tossing out sheathed swords over his shoulder, not caring what or who he hit.

"Look out!" Isaro tackled Inaro off the couch as an unsheathed sword pierced it. "Watch it!"

"Whoops." Naruto shrugged and tossed the last sword on the ground. "Take what you want, I've got no use for them."

"You ever consider opening up a weapon shop?" Isaro said as he compared a katana with a beautifully decorated scabbard to his ANBU-issue one.

"Who would go to it?" Naruto looked at Inaro, who was still reeling from being whacked on the head. "Can you give him a soldier pill, or something? He looks like a fucking vegetable."

Isaro gave his brother a once-over, then snorted. "He's just being an attention whore now. Inaro, get off your ass and come pick out a sword."

Surprisingly, Inaro grunted and rose from the sofa, then sat on the floor next to Isaro and picked up a random katana. "I'm still in pain, ya' know."

"Yeah, I know, I just don't care." Isaro withdrew the katana from its gorgeous sheath and found it to be cheaply made and the blade to be chipped and cracked all down its length. "I know you shouldn't judge a book by its cover, but damn!" he smacked the flat of the sword on the coffee table and it shattered. "Piece of shit."

Inaro found a katana that he was starting to take a liking to. It was perfectly sized, the blade was sturdy and razor-sharp, the balance was perfect, and it was polished to a nice shine. There was only one problem, and that was the fact that the blade was on the wrong side.

"The fuck's this thing?"

Naruto shrugged. "Dunno. I was wandering outside the village one day and I came across this samurai with red hair. Apparently, he'd killed an entire camp of bandits and took one of their katanas. He left this one behind and said, 'Won't be needing this anymore'. I don't really get it, why would someone have a reverse-bladed sword in a world like this?"(8)

Inaro shrugged and placed the sword back into its sheath. "People do stupid things."

"Meh. Put those swords into this scroll when you're done with them." Naruto took a sealing scroll out of his cloak and tossed it to Isaro.

"Hold on, are you going out for drinks with us later?" Isaro asked.

"...Sure, I guess I'm up for seeing you guys get hammered and make fools out of yourselves." he chuckled and gave them a thumbs up before leaving.

Zabuza sat on the sofa, staring blankly at the TV in front of him, bored out of his mind despite what was playing. He turned his head to look at who had opened the door and waved languorously at Naruto.

"'Sup?" the swordsman sounded like he was five seconds from passing out.

"Not you, thankfully." Naruto said, noticing what was playing on the television. "What is this crap?"

"Exactly that; crap." Zabuza sneered at the "premium" pornography. "We've got seventy-eight channels of porn in this place, yet this is the only thing on that's even halfway decent."

Naruto cocked his head to the side. "I don't know what's more disturbing, the fact that we've actually got that many porno channels, or the fact that you've scanned through all of them."

"I'll tell ya' what's the most disturbing! It's the fact that this piece of shit dares call itself 'Hardcore'! I've been watching for a half an hour now, and I have yet to see a single goddamn threesome!" Zabuza chucked the remote into the kitchen in a fit of anger. "Not even a hot lesbo kiss!"

Naruto shook his head and took a seat on one of the sofa's armrests. "That's pretty bad...I guess..." both shinobi were silent for the next five minutes, they just sat there watching some decently attractive brunette get her pussy reamed by some guy who not only had a small pecker, but didn't even know how to use it! Both of them could easily tell she was faking it, and even caught her rolling her eyes a few times.

"So..." Naruto started, but trailed off as the pornstar in the film screamed out that she was cumming. "...The fuck was that?"

"Wasn't an orgasm, that's for damn sure." Zabuza snorted.

"What's the story behind this?" Naruto asked, though it wouldn't make it suck any less.

"There ain't one."

"Eh?"

"It's just 'Wham, bam, sorry ma'am!'. I mean come on! I know pornstars aren't exactly great actors...In fact, most of them are laughably horrible, but I at least like an _attempt_ at a decent story! This didn't even have the terribly overused 'My husband's away on a business trip and the new mailman's hot!' setup! I can't watch this crap anymore, where's the remote?" Zabuza lifted up the cushions and pillows on the couch searching for the remote, apparently forgetting that it was probably in three different pieces on the kitchen floor.

Naruto shook his head and laughed. "Sometimes I just don't understand how you survived so long as a Nuke-nin." he walked into the kitchen and tossed Zabuza the remote.

"Because I'm fucking awesome like that!" Zabuza snatched the remote out of the air and twirled it in his fingers before turning off the TV by whipping the remote into the power button. "You comin' out for drinks later?"

Naruto nodded. "Yeah, I'll be there. Though I don't know what good it'll do. I don't even know if I can get drunk, so where's the fun?"

Zabuza waved the masked hanyou off. "If you can get high, you can get drunk. We'll just have to put a few more shots in you before you get there." he grabbed Kubikiribōchō and opened the door to leave the room. "Later, man." and he was gone.

Naruto walked into the room he assumed was his, since an "N" was scribbled on the door with a red marker. It was nice, not too small, but not absurdly large either. A queen-sized bed with red sheets, a nightstand with a decorative lamp next to an alarm clock. There was a TV at the foot of the bed and a large dresser with a huge mirror, and it was this mirror that caught Naruto's attention.

"Hmm..." Naruto inspected himself in the mirror, taking in his attire. "...I think it's time for a modification."

**"Oh? What did you have in mind?" **frankly, Kyuubi thought it was about time. The boy had been wearing the same thing, more or less, for the past three years. Even though he now had the Biosuit, which could change into any form of clothing he could think of, he still kept his original design.

"My clothes and armor are fine, but I've been meaning to ask you if these vambraces can block a sword, or something like that."

**"I never did get the chance to finish the Biosuit, so it can't take as much punishment as it would in that case. Think of it as a nifty prototype. But no, you'd most likely get your arm cut off if you tried to block a sword with the vambraces alone. The only reaso****n you were able to block Kiriko's ninjatō was because she was airborne at the time and lacked the proper leverage, not to mention she uses a pretty light weapon and she isn't that strong. The armor is only strong enough to do that in the torso, since one o****f the first things I did was provide the most protection to vital organs. The limbs weren't a major concern in the beginning, or ever, really." **Kyuubi explained.

Afterall, even the lowest of demons could re-grow lost limbs quite easily.

Naruto nodded. "Then I'll have to find some that can withstand that kind of damage." he recalled the vambraces back into the main mass of the Biosuit, but left his fingerless gloves in-place.

**"Was that it?" **not much of a change.

"Of course not. This cloak, it can turn into anything, right?"

**"Within reason, yes."**

"And what is outside of reason?"

**"Complex structures, functional wings, most animals, that sort of thing. Probably the most complex animal it can mimic is a cephalopod, you know, a squid, or something." **

"So, I can turn it into a coat or jacket?"

**"Yeah, sure."**

"Awesome." Naruto created an image of what he wanted in his mind, then willed the cloak to take its new form. The cloak seemed to spaz out for a second, tendrils lashing out and cracking like whips, then those same tendrils began to wrap around Naruto's torso and arms. When it had finally settled, Naruto let out a whistle, this was actually a bit more than he'd specified.

The cloak had formed into a black, tight-fitting, hooded jacket, complete with zipper and inner and outer pockets. The front of the jacket came down to just under his waistline, but the back of it extended down to his heels in two "tails" that silently fluttered in the non-existent breeze. Naruto moved experimentally, testing out the feel of the material. He wasn't all too surprised when it moved with him almost like a second layer of skin. It didn't ride up, he didn't bunch or wrinkle, it stayed exactly where it was on his body no matter which way he moved. But that wasn't to say it was completely stationary. Every now and then Naruto could see his new jacket pulsating, though it was mostly unnoticeable to anyone that wasn't looking for it.

"Naruto likes." Naruto used the Thousand Eyes Technique to check out his back and was surprised to find the Namikaze symbol in a black just dark enough to be noticed against his jacket. It was placed onto the jacket in such a way that it looked like it had been woven into the material during production, reinforcing the tailor-made look.

**"Kyuubi likes, too." **Naruto might as well have been wearing skintight leather, and it was driving Kyuubi nuts.

"Does she now?" Naruto was prepared to put Kyuubi's soul into a clone and see just how sturdy the bed was, but felt another presence enter the main room and sighed. "Guess she's back for round two. Rain check?"

Kyuubi growled softly, then huffed. **"Rain check. Give her a good knock for me."**

"Will do." Naruto said, calling the Black Soul forth and walking out of his room. Upon entering the main room, Naruto, as expected, saw Yugito poking around. "I'm tempted to say something about curiosity killing the cat," Naruto drawled, startling the female Jinchuuriki, "but we both know that stupidity was the real culprit, right?" it was a rhetorical question, so Naruto didn't wait for an answer. "But there's a thin line between curiosity and stupidity...and you should be asking yourself if you've just crossed it."

Yugito was ready to jump into a fight and tear the kid a new one, but her demon stopped her dead.

**"Kitten, please, rrrethink yourrr courrrse of action. You should know how to pick yourrr battles." **the Nibi's heavily accented voice cut through the cloud of anger that had settled over Yugito's mind.

'I can take him.' doesn't mean she was any less stubborn, though.

**"No, you can't. He is yourrr match in everrry way, and even outclasses you in a few categorrries. He is also aligned with Darrrkness, and that alone can be the deciding factorrr in any battle. Add to that the fact that he holds the Queen of Demons, and you've lost the battle beforrre it has even begun." **Nibi warned.

'Hinade, you make him sound like some kind of God! He's nothing compared to me, and I'll show you that right now!' Yugito reached behind her waist to grab a tantō, but her demon's next words made her yield.

**"Fine, if you wish to fight him, you will do so alone. I will not assist you in such a foolish task, and I will be slow to heal the wounds that you WILL sustain."**

Yugito dropped her arm to her side, then held them both up, showing that she wouldn't fight.

"I...I didn't come here for a fight."

Naruto cocked his head to the side. "Don't lie to me or yourself, we both know damn well why you came here." he walked up to Yugito and stopped once they were only a foot apart. "You want to rape me." how he said that with a straight face, the world will never know.

Yugito's face went beet red and she grabbed Naruto's jacket and hauled him in so they were face-to-mask. "Listen, you little punk, I want nothing to do with you whatsoever! It doesn't matter if I find you incredibly hot, you will NEVER get so much as a hug from me, got it?" she didn't notice her little slip-up, but Naruto did.

"What was that? It doesn't matter if you what?"

"I said, 'It doesn't matter if you find me incredibly hot'!" it was a bit to late for a cover-up.

"Oh no, nonononono, that's not what you said. I believe it was the other way around. It's YOU that finds ME incredibly hot. Mm, and you haven't even seen my face yet!" Naruto laughed when Yugito let him go and turned away. "My God, you suck."

"Just...shut up." Yugito said quietly.

"Why is it that you can go tit for tat with me until I get to anything sexual? What kind of prude are you?" Naruto crossed his arms.

"Just because I'm not a slut you call me a prude?"

"You don't have to be a slut to know about sex." Naruto pointed at himself. "Case in point. You think I'm some kind of manwhore? No, I had most of the information crammed into my head, by a certain demoness, over a period of three hours...Do I have to give you 'The Talk'?"

Within Yugito, the Nibi scoffed. **'Good luck getting herrr to listen.'**

"What? No! Just drop it, okay?"

"No, it's not okay. Something's wrong with you, and I think I know what it is. You're not some pure, chaste little girl, and I know you have the same urges as everyone else...But we, as sacrifices, don't have the benefit of relieving those urges with just anyone. They fear us too much...And that's what's wrong with you." Naruto walked around the girl so he could see her face, but she turned away again.

"There's nothing wrong with me..." Yugito muttered.

"Let me guess, someone once told you that no man in their right mind would ever want you. And that same someone probably started some kind of rumor about any man that laid with you having the life sucked out of them by your demon." it was an easy way to break an already lonely child, to tell them that they'd always be alone, no matter what they did. He'd taken similar insults, though they were about his family, not his love-life.

Yugito stiffened, those exact words had been said to her more times than she wanted to remember, but she did remember them. All of them.

Her silence spoke volumes. "Well, lucky you met a guy like me." Naruto laughed. "I'm known to be a few cards short of a full deck."

A microwave suddenly came flying out of the kitchen and was destroyed upon contact with the wall.

"Cards? Who said cards? I heard cards, who's playing cards? I want in!" Pondera came storming out of the kitchen, poker table in hand. Slamming the table down in the middle of the room, the demon summoned the chairs and took a deck of cards out of his sleeve. "What're we playing? Poker, Blackjack, Rummy, what?"

Naruto stared blankly at Pondera. "...Do you not see that I have a guest?"

The white-clad demon shrugged. "So? She can join, too. The more, the better! That just means more suckers to humiliate."

Yugito didn't take kindly to being referred to as a sucker. "You guys know how to play Bullshit?" she and Naruto took their seats, completing the triangle started by Pondera.

"You're talking to the King, sweetheart." Pondera shuffled the deck at such insane speeds that it was a wonder the cards hadn't been shredded.

"I'll be sure to remember that when you end up accusing me of cheating because I've won so many times."

Naruto snorted. "Aren't you forgetting about someone?"

Pondera stopped shuffling and began dealing the cards at a blistering pace. "...What about you?" Pondera picked up his hand.

"I'm the guy that's about to totally destroy you both." Naruto casually, almost arrogantly picked up his hand and smirked under his mask. Luck was on his side, as he had nearly every number, doubles of a few, and at least one of every face card.

Yugito picked up her hand and looked at the two males. The robed one was a demon, as Nibi had told her, and a fairly powerful one. She was tempted to ask where he'd come from, and if chucking microwaves was normal for him, but she'd ask later, right now she had a card game to win! The fact that both the Jinchuuriki and the demon had their faces hidden didn't escape Yugito, and she put on a stolen ANBU mask modeled after a tiger.

Naruto simply stared at the girl. "...You gonna start busting out the Neko clichés now? If so...can I be the tentacle monster?" his jacket suddenly sprouted multiple tendrils that waved around in the air for a few seconds before returning to its original form.

"Down, boy." Yugito said without missing a beat, even surprising herself at the quick, unoffended reply.

"Yeah, no hankey-pankey at the table." Pondera said, checking his hand for the Ace of Spades, but not finding it, only the Aces of Hearts and Diamonds.

"Aw, but doing it in public makes it all the more fun!" Naruto whined.

"Well, you've got a hand, go out in the hallway and have your 'fun'." Yugito had to admit, this was fun. She didn't know why she was so relaxed around them, but she couldn't say she wished she wasn't.

"Oh, kitty still has claws." Naruto smirked. 'I knew she had it in her.'

"Yes, she does."

Pondera rolled his eyes, though none of them saw it. "Oh, for the love of Poker, which one of you has the damn Ace of Spades?"

"Oh, calm down, you card whore, one ace." Naruto laid his card facedown in the middle of the table.

"Which way are we going?" Yugito asked.

"Any way you want." Naruto wanted to see if her earlier comeback was just a momentary burst of courage or not.

"Oh, so you're willing to play for both teams, then?"

Naruto laughed aloud. 'Now we're having fun!' he thought. "No, I only play for one team, I'm just wondering about you."

"My team's way out of your league."

"I'll bet it is, but I'm still willing to give the minor league a chance."

"You two can get it on after the game, alright? I'll be blessed before I allow you to get 'love stains' on my table!" he laid down three cards. "Twos."

Yugito blushed, but didn't say a word.

Naruto looked back and forth from Pondera to the cards on the table. "Hmm..."

"What, you wanna call it? Go on, call it, I dare you."

Naruto and Pondera stared each other down for two minutes straight before Naruto slammed his hand down on the cards on the table.

"It's a bit too early in the game to be bullshitting, Pondera." he slid the cards over to the demon, who picked them up and added them to his hand while laughing.

"Just testing you, that's all." he nodded to Yugito. "You're on threes."

Yugito shook her head at their antics and laid down her cards. "Two threes."

Neither Naruto nor Pondera called it.

"One four." Naruto said, even though he had three of them.

"One five." Pondera casually flicked his card onto the pile.

"Two six's." Yugito decided to try her luck.

"Two sevens." Naruto had a nagging feeling that the girl was lying, but the pile wasn't big enough yet.

Pondera snuck a glance at Naruto, wondering why he didn't call it, but he hadn't either, so he kept quiet. "Three eights."

Both Naruto and Yugito turned to leer at the demon, who simply use the middle finger on his left hand to scratch the back of his right.

Naruto snorted and looked at his hand. The only number he didn't have was an eight, so he couldn't call it.

Yugito's eyes narrowed behind her mask, all she had was one eight, and the pile was starting to look a lot bigger than she thought it should've. It was too risky to call.

"One nine." Yugito threw the card out, but it was caught by Naruto before it hit the table.

"Bullshit." Naruto placed the card on top of the pile, then gathered it up neatly and placed it in front of Yugito. "I've got all four nines."

Pondera chuckled. "You and your nines."

"Yeah, me and my nines are about to kick both your asses. One ten. Anyone know what time it is?" ever since Naruto's change, his internal clock had gone to shit. He'd always thought watches were impractical, and now he was in need of one. 'Irony sucks.'

**"Only when it bites you in the ass and not someone else." **Kyuubi chimed in. She'd been trying to communicate with the Nibi for the past five minutes, but she wasn't getting anywhere. **'Must be the after-effects of the Five Element Seal.' **

'Meh.'

Yugito looked at her watch. "It's ten 'till five. Why, you got somewhere to be?"

"As a matter of fact, yes, I do. A night out with the guys. You're welcome to join if you like."

"With just guys? Didn't a woman come here with you?"

"She's more of a guy than most of the others." it was true, Anko put most guys to shame with what she could do and the way she acted.

"When are you going out?" Pondera asked before putting out his cards. "Two Jacks."

"Since it's a night out with the guys, I'm assuming at night. When does it get dark around here?" Naruto looked at Yugito.

"During the Summer, around nine-thirty. Since it's August second, the days are getting shorter because of Fall, so it'll probably be dark at around eight. One Queen."(9)

"So, three hours. You guys coming? One King."

Pondera shrugged. "Sure, I haven't had a drink in...about five-thousand years. Two Aces."

Yugito stared at Pondera for a few seconds, then remembered he was a demon and shrugged as well. "Yeah, it'll be nice to not be at a bar by myself for once." she had some kunoichi friends, but when they had their girl's nights out, they would run off with some random shinobi that had managed to woo them, leaving Yugito to face eerie silence and angry glares all by her lonesome. This was the point where she wished she could just drink it all away, at least for just one night, but her demon always kept the alcohol from taking hold, forcing Yugito to just leave. "Two twos."

"Awesome. One three."

(Half An Hour Later)

"Oh, bullshit!" Yugito said as she threw down her hand, which contained no less than half the deck. She had lost, badly. "I swear you guys cheated."

Naruto, the winner of the game, snickered a little. "Of course we did. The whole point of Bullshit is to fool everyone else. The whole point of Ninja Bullshit is to fool everyone by cheating and not get caught. Hell, that's the point of all ninja card games. Except Poker, cheating at Poker is a no-no."

Pondera nodded. "It's true. Besides, we both noticed you cheating, why do you think we ganged up on you at the end?"

Yugito glared at them both. "You mean you double-teamed me because I was doing the exactly what you were doing?"

Naruto shook his head. "No, we double-teamed you because we caught you red-handed multiple times. You may be good at bluffing, but you suck at cheating."

"Whatever." Yugito frowned and walked over to the couch and picked up the TV remote. "What's on TV..."

Naruto's eyes widened and he moved to stop her, but before he ever got out of his seat the sounds of an overly vocal male pornstar filled the room.

Pondera nearly fell out of his chair at the unexpected noise and got up to check out who was making such racket. "This is balls!"

"That bad, eh?" Naruto said, not bothering to get up.

"Yeah, it is, but what I meant was they need to change camera angles, all I see is balls!" Pondera looked at a shell-shocked Yugito. "Turn the damn channel, woman!" he tried to snatch the remote, but she had a death-grip on the device. "The hell?"

"Just use the buttons on the TV, genius." Naruto drawled, picking his nails with one of Yugito's tantō, which he had taken during the game.

"Shut up!" even though he said this, Pondera still walked over and manually changed the channel. "Balls, shit, gay, grannies, fatasses, bestiality, necrophilia, gay necro-bestiality with an old fat guy and a dead horse...Oh, lesbian action!...And now they're eating shit, next." the more channels Pondera flipped through, the more pale Yugito became.

"What the fuck is that, cable from hell?" Naruto walked over to find out just what was going on. "What the hell is she doing with that watermelon? No. NO fucking WAY! Turn the damn channel!"

Pondera waved the boy off. "In a minute, I want to see this."

"Well we don't!" Naruto protested, gesturing to himself an the twitching wreck formerly known as Yugito.

"Then you can leave." Pondera sat down on the couch and put his feet up on the coffee table, showing that he wasn't going anywhere, and neither was the weird-ass porno.

Naruto was very close to starting an all-out brawl with the demon, but kept himself in check, knowing that it wasn't worth it, and it would only cause problems for his teammates and the Hokage.

"I hope your eyes melt." he said, picking up the still frozen Yugito and moving to leave the room.

"They'll just grow back." Pondera said offhandedly, to which Naruto just grunted before closing the door and walking down the hallway.

After about ten minutes of dodging nosey Kumo-nin, Naruto finally found a place where he and Yugito wouldn't be bothered. There were some things he wanted to know, and he didn't want any interruptions or distractions. They were currently on top of a tall plateau overlooking the northeastern part of the village. It appeared to be a popular place, since it had a guardrail to keep people from falling over the edge.

"Hey, come on, snap out of it." Naruto snapped his fingers in front of Yugito's face, but didn't get so much as a blink. "It wasn't _that_ bad." he sighed, then looked around frantically when he heard a voice in his head that didn't belong to Kyuubi or Nightmare.

**"Kyuubi-sama?" **

Yugito jumped as she also heard a foreign voice.

**"Hinade-chan?"**

**"..."**

**"..."**

Both Jinchuuriki were instantly floored by a girlish squeal the likes of which no mortal ears should ever be subjected to.

"Ahh! What the fuck?" Naruto screamed whilst rolling around on the floor, clutching his head in pain.

Yugito had a very different, much less dramatic reaction to the sudden outburst. Her face went blank and she just keeled over a started foaming at the mouth.

**"Kitten?" **Nibi tried to rouse her vessel, but the girl didn't respond, she just twitched a little. **"Um...Arrre they okay?" **she noticed Kyuubi's vessel curled into a ball on the ground.

**"They'll be fine, but we need to talk, right now." **Kyuubi said. **"Naruto, stop being so overdramatic."**

Naruto grunted and stood up, brushing himself off. "What, a little overacting never hurt anyone."

**"Whatever. I need you to make two Darkness Clones and transfer my soul to one of them."**

Naruto snapped his fingers and a clone rose out of both his and Yugito's shadows. But these clones were very different from the normal ones, mainly because they had no features at all. They were just human-shaped masses, though one was most definitely female, judging from the hourglass figure.

A cloud of red youki leaked out of Naruto's body and enveloped the female clone, hiding it from view while the transformation took place. Soon the cloud started to shrink, condensing itself around the clone, then seeping into it, revealing its new form.

Kyuubi stretched the muscles of her new body, getting a feel for it. Normally, a Darkness Clone was made purely of the element itself, and could only duplicate the chakra coils of the creator, but, when infused with youki, the clones were given the ability to perfectly duplicate a living being. Blood, organs, bones, chakra pathways, everything right down to sweat glands.

This was one of the many special properties of youki, the ability to convert itself from pure energy to organic matter, though it could only do this in large concentrations.

**"Thank you, Naruto-koi." **Kyuubi turned to Yugito. **"Hinade-chan, I assume that, since you sealed yourself, you can put your soul into another body, at least temporarily."**

**"Yes, of courrrse, Kyuubi-sama. I used to do it a lot when Yugito was a child, though I had to take the body of a cat beforrre she learrrned the Shadow Clone Technique." **Yugito's body suddenly erupted in a blue flame, similar to Seizonsha's Foxfire, which slowly wrapped itself around the remaining clone.

In a process identical to Kyuubi's, the Nibi no Nekomata appeared in all her glory. She didn't look at all like Naruto expected her to. Truthfully, he didn't really know what he was expecting, but he was pretty sure this wasn't it.

She looked like she was younger than Yugito, fifteen at the most! She was short, about three inches shorter than Naruto, and looked for all the world like some kind of ghost. She was extremely pale, had long light blue hair, cat-like eyes, of course, and two small whisker-like marks on either cheek. Her choice of clothes also added to the ghostly appearance. She wore an almost obscenely white kimono with a lavender obi around her waist and, though her kimono mostly covered her feet, Naruto could see enough to know she was wearing tabi socks and zori sandals.

'Hm, must be going for the formal look because of Kyuu-chan.' but, Naruto being the wiseass that he felt like being today, just had to make some perverse comment. "Wow, a lolicon's wet dream." this drew a stifled giggle from Kyuubi and a blush and an eye twitch from the Nibi, who then took the form of an eighteen year old. "Keep that up and you'll be my wet dream."

Nibi blushed and turned away, while Kyuubi outright guffawed at her embarrassment. This was nothing like the Hinade she knew. That demon and Anko were almost identical in personality. The old Nibi was loud, blunt, hyperactive more often than not, extremely perverse, an accomplished tease, and quite a wild lover, as Kyuubi knew firsthand.

But this demon...Polite, apparently shy, a bit prudish, and easily embarrassed...She'd gone from Anko to Hinata in only fifty years, as was the timeframe since they'd last seen each other.

**"Kyuubi-sama! Don't encourrrage that kind of behaviorrr!" **the Nibi chanced a look at Yugito and was mortified to see her trying to hide the fact that she, too, was laughing.

**"Why not? It's funny!" **but, upon seeing the Two-tails' "Kitten Eyes", Kyuubi relented. **"Down, Naruto-koi."**

"But Kyuu-chaaaaan!" Naruto whined, causing everyone to stare at him blankly. "What?"

**"...Don't ever do that again." **Kyuubi deadpanned. That creeped even her out.

"Meh."

Kyuubi walked up to the Nibi and grabbed her arm, dragging her along as she walked down the path back to the village.

**"Kyuubi-sama?" **the Nekomata questioned.

**"Oh, stop it with the formality, Hinade-chan! We've got a lot to talk about, as I'm sure our vessels do..." **Kyuubi glanced back to make sure Naruto wasn't watching them. **"And they're both better off not hearing our conversation." **

Hinade rose an eyebrow, but nodded nonetheless. **"I underrrstand, Kyuubi-s...chan..." **she could already feel her old personality coming to the surface.

"Remember, we can only be a mile apart at the most!" Naruto shouted, reminding his mate about the distance limit imposed by the Yondaime Hokage's seal.

**"Okay, Dad!" **Kyuubi called back, causing her companion to giggle.

"Just for that, someone's getting a spanking from Daddy tonight!" Naruto shook his fist in mock anger.

Hinade looked back at Naruto, then at Kyuubi. **"Is he serrrious?" **or course she'd heard what Kyuubi called her vessel, but she must've been joking, right?

**"Oh yes, he is. I've been a bad little girl, and you know what happens to bad girls, don't you, Hinade-**_**chaaan**_**..."** Kyuubi gave her fellow demoness a firm slap on the ass that made her jump and let out a small yelp. **"Now, come on, do you know a good barbeque joint around here?"**

The Nibi let out a small purring chuckle and leveled her predatory gaze at Kyuubi. **"Oh yes, Kyuu-chan, I know just the place." **

Naruto caught the interaction and let out a low growl, though he was far from angry. "Is that a threesome I see in the future?" he shook his head. "No, no, don't count your chicks before they take their clothes off." he looked at Yugito, who was sitting on the ground, leaning on the guard rail at the edge of the plateau. "What's with you?"

Yugito just looked at her fellow Jinchuuriki and shrugged a bit. "I don't know...I just feel...empty without Hinade. She's always been there, ever since I can remember. She's always been my shoulder to cry on when things became too much for me to handle alone...The only one I could ever talk to, you know?"

Naruto walked over to the rail and sat on it next to Yugito. "No, I don't."

"Hm? But you and your demon seemed so close."

"We are close...very close, but I discovered my inner demon a bit too late in my life...By the time I knew about her, having no one around to listen to me was no longer the problem...By that time, I was unwilling to talk. I completely shut myself off and locked the real me away...I took the coward's way out and hid behind the mask of an emotionless machine." Naruto snorted at the thought of what he had done.

"You talk like you've come out from behind the mask, yet you still wear it." Yugito pointed at Naruto's ever-present mask.

The boy laughed. "No, this mask just hides my face, I'm talking about the one that _was_ my face. When it began, I told myself that it would all be a front, and that those who deserved to know the real me would be shown what laid behind the mask. But it didn't work out that way. I created the mask to shut out the world, and it did its job very well...Too well. Eventually, it got to the point where I could no longer tell myself from the mask, and we became one and the same. I truly thought I'd be happier as I was...But how can I be happy, when being emotionless means I can't feel happiness? Yes, I was a stupid little kid."

Yugito just looked at the boy next to her, genuinely intrigued by his story. He was like her in more ways than one, and it was this fact that made her feel like she could tell him everything. He wouldn't laugh at her, ridicule her, glare at her, spit on her, or write her off as some subhuman creature. He'd gone through just as much as she had, probably more, and he knew what it was like to feel like nothing. Apparently, he felt the same way about her, otherwise he wouldn't be telling her about himself.

"And now?"

Naruto turned his head to gaze upon Kumogakure, his eyes scanning each building and lingering on some longer than others. "My eyes have recently been opened, and my mask has since been shattered. Quite frankly, I'm disgusted with myself, but I'll get over it." then he thought, 'Maybe spilling a few gallons of blood will help me with that.' he suddenly found himself hoping for a mob on his birthday...The ensuing massacre would be one hell of a present.

He didn't notice that he was chuckling maliciously until he saw Yugito slowly scooting away from him. "Sorry about that. But enough about me, what's your story?"

"..." Yugito remained silent, contemplating on whether or not she could really trust him the way she felt she could.

"Aw, come on, not only did I win our fight, I also beat you in a card game, and I told you about myself! You owe me at least some info!" normally, something like this would piss Naruto off, and he'd just beat and/or torture the person until they told him what he wanted to know. But with Yugito it was different. He wasn't mad at all, and if she really wasn't willing to talk, he wouldn't harass her...much.

But he was genuinely interested in her, possibly in more ways than one, but right now all he wanted to know was just how much alike they were. From her disposition, he knew that she had been through some shit, but he had no way of knowing just how much. Just like him, she had learned to be very good at hiding her true thoughts.

"...Can I really trust you?" Yugito suddenly asked, catching Naruto completely off guard.

"Huh?" he cocked his head to the side.

"Can I trust you with what I'm about to tell you? Do I have your word that you won't tell anyone else, or use what I say against me?" Yugito looked right into Naruto's eyes, as if his mask wasn't even there, and tried to scan them for any sign of devious intent. She found quite a bit of it, but she knew that none was directed at her.

Naruto sighed. "Only if you promise not to tell anyone that I got all sentimental with you. I've got a reputation to uphold, you know."

Yugito giggled a little. "You have my word, but do I have yours?"

"Of course. I have no desire nor need to rat you out, or anything like that, so you've got nothing to worry about." Naruto snapped his fingers and summoned two of his "Prince of Hell" chairs. "Have a seat, get comfortable, because I have a feeling we're going to be here for a while."

Yugito hesitated for a moment as she looked at the chair. It looked a bit too...pointy to be comfortable, but he wasn't having any problems with his, so the teen took the offer.

"Oh!" the chair was absurdly comfortable, almost like a beanbag chair, except it didn't try to swallow you whole.(10)

"Yes, makes the idea of being a couch potato very appealing, doesn't it?" 'Note to self: turn throne into sofa.'

Yugito nodded in agreement. "So...Where should I start?"

"Wherever you want."

"Well, I guess I should start with a problem that maybe you can help with..." Yugito trailed off, trying to find the right words.

"And that is?" Naruto pushed.

"My father."

(Meanwhile, With Kyuubi And Hinade)

"Are you ladies ready to order?" the waiter asked politely, his eyes darting back and forth between the two women before him.

**'Probably trying to choose which one of us to hit on.'** Kyuubi snorted, but kept up her human facade, despite the fact that something about the little prick just made her want to tear him apart where he stood. "Yeah, I'm ready, but I've got a question about the menu."

The waiter, picking up some "good vibes" from the redhead, smiled a little wider. "Is there a problem with the menu, Madame?"

**'Oh, "Madame"? My, my, he's really turning on the "charm", isn't he?' **Kyuubi thought. "Yeah, there's a problem with it...You're not on it, cutie." she could have sworn she felt the bile rising in the back of her throat.

'Jackpot!' the waiter thought, steamy scenes already playing themselves out in his head like a badly directed porno. "Well...I guess that is a problem...I could go ask the chef if he can whip up a little something to...wet your pallet?"

Nibi snickered a little, but not loud enough for the waiter to hear. This was just too much! Did this guy really have his head so far up his own ass that he couldn't tell Kyuubi was toying with him? Looking around, the cat demon noticed that many other people in the bar and grill had come to the same conclusion, and were watching the scene intently to see just how much of a fool the waiter would be made to be.

**'Having fun, Kyuu-chan?'**

**'No, but it'll be worth it to have this little shit tripping over his own shoes! I can just see it now, faceplant into scalding-hot soup!' **Kyuubi was going to enjoy taking this jackass down a few hundred pegs. "I hope so...'Cause I'm _bone dry_ right now."

**'Is that so? Can I be of **_**serrrvice**_**?' **Hinade purred, rubbing her foot against Kyuubi's leg under the table, in plain sight of everyone else.

More than a few wolf whistles followed, to which Kyuubi lightly sweatdropped and glanced briefly at the other demoness.

"Aw, come now, Hinade-chan, don't be a spoiled sport! You can't have me to yourself all the time, and besides, I'm sure there's enough of Mr. Studly here to go around, right?" Kyuubi gifted the waiter with her sultry smirk and hungry gaze...Picturing the waiter with Naruto's mask made things a bit easier, but not by much.

Hinade, who'd gone to take a sip of her drink, spit it out all over the waiter at Kyuubi's statement. **'Dammit, you made me waste a perrrectly good marrrtini!'**

**'Yeah, well life's a bitch, payback's a vixen.' **Kyuubi laughed, both inside and out, at the turn of events. Apparently, the flying martini particles found their way to the waiter's eyes and he stumbled back, screaming his lungs out. This caused him to trip over his shoelaces, which Kyuubi had untied while no one was looking, and fall onto the table behind him, breaking it and forcing the diners to wear their food.

The waiter shot to his feet and bowed profusely to the middle-aged couple whose meal he'd ruined. Of course, this sent the noodles in his hair flying, one of which hit the woman in the face, sending her on a tirade against the young man.

It was then that another waiter came from the kitchen carrying a tray with four bowls of soup on it.

"Hot soup, watch out, hot soup!" apparently, the soup was hot.

"Oh, this is just too perfect!" Kyuubi looked around on the table for the right object. "Ah-hah!" she picked up a shot glass and rolled it across the floor right into the path of the soup-carrying waiter.

"Hot so-whoa!" the waiter's feet flew out from under him as he stepped on the glass and the tray was set free.

The other waiter saw the tray flying through his stinging eyes and saw an opportunity to save a little face. He dove for the tray, catching it without spilling even a drop of soup. This drew a few claps from the rest of the patrons of the bar and grill, but not nearly as many as what happened next.

"I can't take this anymore, come on, Ryuki, we're out of this nuthouse!" a young blonde man stood up from his seat, pushing his chair back and into the path of the waiter.

Kyuubi fell out of her seat laughing. "I told you, faceplant into hot soup!" she kept laughing and pointing, along with the majority of the restaurant.

"Can't...Breathe!" Hinade was in much worse shape, since she wasn't a veteran of pranks like Kyuubi was.

After a few minutes, both demon lords managed to calm down, even after the owner of the restaurant, who happened to be the waiter's father, came out and screamed at him, then, probably literally, smacked the taste out of his mouth and fired him.

"He'll be back by Frrriday, just you watch." Hinade said. Yugito frequented the place, and that same waiter was always hitting on some random woman. He got fired at least twice a week, and it was only Wednesday.

"...Should we permanently get rid of him?" the thought of smashing that empty little skull in was making her feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

"No, he still serrrves as decent enterrrtainment." Hinade giggled as the owner kicked his son in the ass as he walked out the door. "Now, what was so imporrrtant that ourrr vessels couldn't hearrr about it?"

Kyuubi placed a discreet Genjutsu over them, making it look and sound like they were talking about something completely different.

"We've got some serious problems." Kyuubi was all business now, there wasn't a trace of humor in her words or expression.

"What, Akatsuki? They may be prrretty strrrong, but I don't think they arrre powerrrful enough to take on the Bijū." sure, she'd heard, through Yugito, about the organization that was out to capture the Tailed Demon Lords, but they couldn't be as powerful as the rumors said, could they?

Kyuubi shook her head. "No, not them, something much, MUCH worse. Hinade...Shizaru has resurfaced."

The Nibi's eyes widened. "What? Arrre you shitting me? This isn't funny!"

"I'm one-fucking-hundred percent serious right now! He's back, and he's taken a special interest in my mate!"

"Mate?"

"Nevermind that! Shizaru's after Naruto, and we both know why..."

"What do you mean?" Hinade rose an eyebrow.

Kyuubi frowned. "Don't play dumb with me, Hinade. You know that he's a Darkness user, and you know as well as I do that only one human clan has that ability to such an extent. Naruto is the last of the Namikaze bloodline, even Shizaru himself as acknowledged him as such. Add to that the fact that he has me and the power of the Soul Edge at his command, and you know damn well what I'm getting at!"

Hinade gulped, she knew where this was headed alright, and she didn't like it a damn bit. "You can't mean..."

Kyuubi nodded grimly. "Arcarian is finally making his move."

"And the Otherrrs?"

"They're moving to stop, or at least counter, him. At least the Shinigami is. And Myou's been against Arcarian since the very beginning, so I know she's got a hand in all this."

"What about Kiritsu?" the God of Order had to be in on this, as his very title demanded that he stand against his brother, the God of Chaos.

"I don't know, I've not sensed his presence, and I haven't seen anything that would suggest his influence in a while...Chaos normally prevails when Naruto's involved, and I'd be lying if I said that didn't scare me."

(Two Hours Later)

"Oh, you've got to be shitting me!" Yugito laughed.

Naruto, also laughing, shook his head. "No joke, dude got nosefucked by a lapdog!" he pulled out a small scroll and handed it to Yugito. "Put some youki into it to unseal the disc and pop it into your player. It's got all the footage from every angle, and it hasn't been edited, so it's all raw, I just spliced the scenes from all the cameras together."

Yugito wiped a tear from his eye and took the scroll. "How'd you do that?" it could only be done with a computer, and those were pretty hard to come by...unless you lived in Kumo, the electronics capital of the world.

Naruto shrugged. "There are two heads of the ANBU Interrogation department in Konoha. One is Anko, the only woman of our team, and the other is Morino Ibiki." he noticed Yugito wince at the name. "You know him?"

"I know _of_ him. They say he can break anyone, given enough time. According to some of the rumors, he's even taken shinobi stronger than himself and turned them into jibbering wrecks in less than twenty-four hours." Yugito shivered, that was one man she hoped never to cross.

Naruto chuckled. "Ah, those were good times."

"Excuse me?"

"I'm an honorary member of the Interrogation Department, so to speak. My..._talents_ make systematically picking prisoners apart a lot more fun than it really should be. I often work with Anko to create new poisons and drugs that can fuck someone's mind up to the point that you can completely reprogram them to your liking." Naruto pulled a small vial of yellow liquid out of his jacket pocket. "With just a single drop of this, I can take the most calm and rational man in the world, make him think he's a superhero, and have him jump off a cliff and fall to his death in an attempt to fly. I can take the most beautiful woman in the world, make her tear out her hair and cut off her face, and make her eat both." he looked at the vial with a sinister grin under his mask. "There are several downsides, though. Being a very complex chemical mixture, it can't be mixed with anything else, not drinks or food, or else it will dilute instantly and become nothing more than a very bitter seasoning...The other downside also comes from its complexity...This small amount right here took two years to make...and that was _after_ we figured out how to make it."

"I-Is it really that p-potent?" something like that, in the wrong hands, was a disaster waiting to happen. It was a drug that could give someone complete and utter control over anyone they chose...The thought alone was terrifying.

Naruto nodded. "Oh yes, but another downside is the fact that it won't work on the same person twice. Once they've been reprogrammed, that's it, it's permanent. And yet another con is that you've only got a one minute window in order to implant what you want into the victim's mind, then you have to administer another drop for the reprogramming to take hold. If you fuck it up, the victim will be a vegetable for the rest of their life. Also, if the victim is skilled in medical arts, they can easily halt progression of the drug and purge it from their system. It takes about ten minutes to take hold, so they'd have plenty of time." he put the vial back into his pocket, which held a portal to the Shadow Realm, specifically Doc's office. "The whole drug and poison thing is Anko's department, I'm like Ibiki, I still have firm faith in good old fashioned torture."

"I see..." there wasn't much else Yugito could say to that.

"Anyway, as I was saying, having friends in the ANBU Interrogation Department, who have unlimited access to any and all tools used by both the village law enforcement and active shinobi, allows me access to many perks I'd otherwise never be allowed to even look at. Computers just happen to be one of those perks."

Yugito giggled. "As is some form of legal immunity."

Naruto simply shrugged and looked at the sky, which was rapidly turning orange as the sun began its descent below the horizon. "Almost time." he said, referring to the night out on the town soon to come.

Yugito nodded and rose from her seat to stand next to Naruto, who was sitting on the rail and watching the sun.

"She was right." Naruto said to himself, though Yugito still picked it up.

"Hm?"

"Kurohane, my Familiar. She said that sunsets from places like this must be incredible. She was right." when was the last time Naruto had taken the time to watch a sunset? Had he ever watched one? He didn't remember.

Yugito also found herself thinking about the past. "I used to watch the sunset all the time as a kid. I don't remember why, but I did...I don't know, maybe it meant something back then, or I just thought it was pretty...I haven't done it in so long, I've forgotten my reasons for doing it in the first place."

So preoccupied were they with their thoughts, neither of them noticed that their hands were inching closer and closer to each other. Both their pinkies made contact and, like they'd been poked with a cattle prod, they jumped apart immediately.

"Um...I..." Naruto really had no response to this type of situation, even though he normally would have.

Yugito hid her face to hide her blush and unconsciously started to fiddle with her long "cat-tail". "Uhh...I-I'll see y-you la-later..."

"Hm? Oh! Yeah...I'll see you later..." Naruto was close to punching himself for sounding like such an idiot. 'Stop acting like a little boy with a schoolyard crush!'

_"What's this I hear about a crush?"_ it appeared as though Nightmare took this moment to wake up. Though, in reality, he'd been awake ever since Naruto had left Konoha. Something told him that being quiet would pay off, and it did. _'Now entering Blackmail City!'_

'Back to your cell, inmate!'

_"I ain't got one, warden!"_

'Just shut up.'

_"Hmm...Nah, I don't think so. I'm feelin' kinda chatty right now, ya' know?"_ Nightmare was prepared to ramble on for hours just to annoy the hell out of Naruto, which was his favorite pastime.

'Fine, let's see what the Manglers have to say about it.'

_"You wouldn't...The fuck am I talking about? Of course you would."_

'Sic 'em.' Naruto called his mental defenses into action.

_"I'm going to get you back for this! Mark my words, vengeance will be mine!"_ with that Nightmare took off with no less than forty Manglers nipping at his heels, literally.

"Hey, Kitten!" Naruto and Yugito jumped and whirled around to see the Nibi perched on the rail and grinning.

"...Nibi?" Yugito furrowed her brow at the demoness' odd behavior.

"You werrre expecting, maybe, Santa Claus?"

"...Who?" both Jinchuuriki cocked their heads to the side.

"Bah, you'rrre too young to get it." the nekomata turned to Naruto with a sly, somewhat disconcerting smirk. "I don't believe we've been properrrly intrrroduced. I am Hinade, but you'd know me betterrr as the Nibi no Nekomata." she hopped off of the rail and slid up to Naruto until their bodies were almost touching, forcing the boy to look up into her eyes.

"N-Namikaze Naruto...at your service." he would have bowed, but then his face would have been buried in her cleavage. 'Did I just stutter?' he just knew he was going to be hearing about this for weeks to come.

"Um...Nibi?" Yugito found herself more than a little jealous of the reaction her demon had garnered from Naruto, but she managed to calm herself and not let her jealousy show.

The demoness turned to Yugito. "Please, call me Hinade-chan!"

"...Hinade...chan, what's with your voice?" it wasn't that it was all that different from her normal one, but something just sounded off about it. It lacked the authoritative undertone that always let you know who was the one who held the real power.

"Oh, this?" she cleared her throat and her normal voice returned. **"I couldn't verrry well walk amongst the humans and avoid suspicion talking like this, now could I?" **she turned back to Naruto, leaned in, and whispered to him, **"Kyuu-chan was a verrry bad girrrl today, Narrruto-kun. Make surrre to give herrr a few spanks forrr me, okay?" **she gave his earlobe a little nip before withdrawing and stepping over to Yugito. **"Come now, Kitten, you've quite a bit to learrrn about social drrrinking and parrrtying!" **the demoness grabbed her vessel's arm and disappeared in a swirl of pale blue flames.

Naruto scratched his head in confusion, then shrugged and turned back to watching the sunset.

"Are you going to join me, or what, Kuro-chan?" he called, chuckling at the near inaudible gasp from his Familiar. "I know you're a lot stronger than I am, but don't underestimate my abilities."

Kurohane stepped out of the shadow of a tree she'd been hiding in. "Nothing gets passed you, does it?" she walked up beside him and leaned on the rail.

"Sure it does, just not for long." while she may have seemed to be a bit below his level, Naruto knew that it was he that was below her. When she had entered the Shadow Realm earlier in the day, he felt her true power, and had been quite surprised to learn that she was nearly twice as strong as he was. She had so much power, in fact, that she couldn't hold it all within her own body, which is why her scythe seemed to have its own energy source. It not only served as a weapon, but as a storage unit for her chakra.

Right now, Naruto guessed she had access to about forty percent of her true strength. This alone was enough to place her on equal ground with him in his normal form. She was, indeed, worthy of her title as Princess of the Raven Clan.

"You don't...think any differently of me...do you?" Kurohane asked shyly, fearing that Naruto only had room in his heart for one woman stronger than he was.

"Of course not. What kind of bodyguard would you be if you weren't stronger than me? It would defeat the purpose if I was the more powerful one. Besides..." Naruto suddenly grabbed Kurohane around the waist and pressed her against his body while he leaned back against the rail. "I'm not into the whole 'delicate maiden' thing. I like a girl with a right hook that'll leave me seeing double for an hour or two."

Kurohane smirked and wrapped one arm around Naruto's neck. "Is that so?" she asked, using her other hand to remove Naruto's mask.

"Of course. Personally, I enjoy the feeling of unpredictability, of chaos, especially in the bedroom. I love being with a woman on or above my level...That way I'll never know when things could turn around and I end up being the submissive one. I love those brief struggles for power in between orgasms." the de-masked youth chuckled a bit. "I don't know if I love winning or losing more."

Kurohane leaned in and placed a small kiss on his lips, as if testing his reaction. As expected, he didn't resist, but she pulled away before he could return it.

"Sounds like everyone's a winner in that case."

"I suppose so." this time Naruto initiated the liplock.

The kiss went on for nearly two minutes, but, as their tongues battled for dominance, the presence of another forced them apart.

"Oh, Kyuubi! I...I'm sorry, I d-don't know what c-came over me..." Kurohane saw the look on the demoness' face, and it wasn't all too happy.

Naruto just cocked his head to the side. "Hello." was all he said.

**"I'm away for a couple hours and you've already got another woman cleaning your tonsils?" **Kyuubi tried her best to sound angry, but the smirk on her face as she walked up to Naruto said otherwise. **"Did she do a good job?" **this caused Kurohane's eyebrows to shoot up in shock.

Naruto snickered a little as Kyuubi grabbed his hair and pulled him towards her. "I think she did fine, but I could always use a second opinion."

Kyuubi grinned before she used her tongue, lips, and teeth to ravage her mate's mouth, imposing her undeniable will on him. After a few seconds she pulled back and licked her lips, clearing away the blood from her lover's punctured bottom lip.

**"Mmm, maybe she is worthy afterall." **the Kitsune turned to Kurohane, who just stared at them both, mouth wide open in disbelief. **"But there's only one way to truly find out." **she cleared the three feet of distance between herself and the Raven Princess in less than a nanosecond and pressed her lips against the other female's, though she was much more gentle with her than with Naruto.

Kurohane, at first thoroughly surprised and more than a little freaked out, slowly gave in to the kiss and eventually returned it, moaning as Kyuubi's long, experienced tongue easily overtook her own.

Naruto simply stood on the sidelines, trying desperately to suppress his grin. 'Oh my...'

_"Is that seriously all you can say?"_ Nightmare, who had managed to give the Manglers the slip, at least for the moment, gawked at the scene through Naruto's eyes.

'Life is good...'

_"Damn good! Hm? Oh, come on! At least let me watch the rest of this!"_ Nightmare pleaded as the Manglers found him again. _"Shit!"_ he took off and the chase was on once again. The demon had learned long ago that there was no point in trying to kill them. When one fell, three more took his place, and every one seemed just a bit more pissed off than the last.

"Okay, okay, I gotta stop you right here." Naruto pried both women apart, keeping his hand on Kurohane to keep her from falling over.

Kyuubi stared at Naruto through her lust-clouded eyes. **"Hm? Why's that?"**

"Because, if this goes on any longer, one of us is going to lose it...and I think you're just as close to the edge as I am..." Naruto trailed off as Kyuubi's finger traced the side of his face and passed over his lips. "Maybe closer."

Kyuubi looked up to see the darkened sky, then back at Naruto and sighed. **"Fine, but you'd better be ready tonight. I've been interrupted twice today, once before I even began, and I'm going to take my frustrations out on you." **she tackled Naruto to the ground and straddled his chest while pinning his arms with her own. **"I'll try not to be too rough with you."**

"Aw, where's the fun in that?" Naruto grinned as Kyuubi's body dissolved and her soul was absorbed into the seal.

_"For the love of all that's unholy, call these things off!"_ Nightmare screamed, making Naruto flinch at the sudden noise.

'Yeeeaaaaah-no.'

_"I'm going to get you for this, m-!"_

'"Mark my words, I'll get you!" I'm quakin' in my boots.' Naruto replied dryly while putting his mask back on. "Shall we get going, Kuro-chan?"

"Yes, let's." Kurohane and Naruto walked down the path leading to the village to seek out their friends, who they guessed wouldn't be all that hard to find.

Chances were that one of them was already buzzed, and it was probably Gai and/or Kakashi with one of their whacky competitions. Most people would have guessed Anko or Zabuza, based on their personalities, but both of them not only had very high tolerances, they purposely drank less than those around them. This was so they'd be relatively sober to witness everyone else making fools of themselves. Afterall, someone had to be coherent enough to plant suggestions into the minds of the poor drunks.

(One Hour Later)

"Go, go, go, go, go, go!" the patrons of the bar chanted as Gai and Zabuza went head-to-head in a drinking contest, which was sparked by Gai laying down an open invitation after Kakashi refused his challenge.

"Come on, man, you can do it!" some random man called out, though no one knew who he was cheering for...Hell, the guy probably didn't even know what was going on, himself.

The way the competition was set up, each competitor was given twenty shots and five full glasses of beer to down in any order they chose. The winner, however, wasn't determined by speed alone. To win the challenge, one of the shinobi had to be able to make and sustain a single regular clone for at least five minutes straight. The slowest drinker had to take three more shots before he could make his clone. Whomever's clone dispelled first would be the loser, and would have to pay for all the drinks and any damage that may have been done to the bar, and any future damage that happened after the competition.

Of course, purposely wrecking the bar was prohibited, and rules of the game became null and void if someone happened to do it.

As it stood, Zabuza was beating Gai by three shots and a beer. And it looked like Gai was about two more shots away from passing out...or drowning, whichever came first.

"Come on, Gai, this is your domain! Don't let some interloper dethrone you!" Kakashi said, doing his best to make sure Gai was nice and drunk so he wouldn't have the slightest idea as to why he woke up in bed with a strange woman. Oh yes, Kakashi was a lot more cruel than people gave him credit for.

Zabuza, on the other hand, needed no coaching through this binge. He was on fire, and no one was going to put him out!

Quickly downing his final beer, then his last three shots, the former Mist-nin let loose a world-class belch and formed a single handseal.

"Um...wha' wash I shposed to do?" Zabuza scratched his head, causing everyone to sweatdrop. "Oh, a Clone, thash right! Clone Thingy!" amazingly, a perfect clone of Zabuza appeared in a puff of white smoke, though it looked like it was just as fucked up as the real Zabuza.

"Oh man, I don't think that thing'll last two minutes." said Kurohane, who was, surprisingly, only slightly buzzed, even after winning two straight competitions against a young couple at the bar.

"Meh, I'll give it three." Naruto said, removing his mask and downing another shot in the blink of an eye. He'd been doing this for the past half hour, but wasn't showing any signs of being even remotely close to drunk. His demonic blood simply burned the alcohol out of his system before it could do any damage. There wasn't anything Kyuubi could do about that, so, if he wanted to get hammered, Naruto would have to find and pile on the strongest stuff he could.

"Fucking chug it, sissy boy!" maybe he'd try vodka. It seemed to be having a profound effect on Anko. "You weak little girly-man, I SAID FUCKING CHUG IT!" she forced Gai's last three shots down his throat.

"Thash it, he'sh dead." Mitara slurred as he saw Gai tumble off of his seat and lose his dinner all over the floor.

"Ah, dude, not on my feet!" Inaro grimaced as he felt the warm puke cover his toes.

This had Naruto laughing his ass off. "It's times like these I wonder what genius invented the open-toed boot." he snickered as a drunk Isaro slung his arm around his shoulder.

"I did, man. And thanksh yousss...I am a genie." he crossed his arms and bobbed his head. "There ya' go! A nice goth chick, all for yous!" the ANBU giggled like a pothead before collapsing.

Kurohane joined in the giggling and fell onto Naruto, forcing him to catch her. "You heard the genie, I'm yours! Take me home." seems she was more than just a bit buzzed.

"Not yet, my dear, for we have much more havoc to cause before the night is out!" Naruto turned around just as Zabuza's clone gave out and everyone cheered. "Three minutes, I win. Come, my drunken minions, we're gonna paint this town red! And blue, and yellow, and whatever other colors we can get our hands on!" with a perfect "evil genius" laugh, Naruto turned to leave the bar, but the effect of his exit was ruined by Kurohane clinging to him and squealing gleefully as she was dragged along.

"I don't think I can make it...I can't even feel my legs!" Gai slowly crawled back to his feet with the help of a barstool.

"That's 'cause I cut 'em off and gave 'em to Naruto!" Anko hissed deviously.

"NO, I NEED THOSE! How could you be so...so...UNYOUTHFUL?" the once proud Konoha Jōnin wept on the counter.

"Aw, don't cry, man. You've still got your legs, so there's no reason for the tears...at least not yet." the barkeeper grinned and pulled a piece of paper out of his shirt pocket. It was the bill for the drinks and the broken speakers for the stereo system. "Now you can cry." and cry he did.

Even Anko whistled at the bill. "Wow, that's quite a bit of money."

The barkeeper leaned against the sink behind the counter. "Well, that's the price you pay for quality."

"Then why's the bill so high?" Anko asked.

The barkeeper answered with a glare, to which Anko replied with a cheeky grin.

(Another Hour Later, At Another Bar)

"Look out!" a Chūnin screamed as he dove to the floor and a pool table went sailing over his head and smashed through one of the large windows.

"Hey, who's gonna pay for that?" the barkeeper demanded, then ducked as a bottle of sake collided with rack of booze behind him.

"SHADDAP!" Zabuza stumbled and fell flat on his face. "Who tripped me?" he looked around with his bloodshot eyes. "It was you, wasn't it?" he shambled over to the counter and reached behind it, pulling out his sword. "DIE!" he took off after some random Kumo-nin, waving his zanbatō around like a madman.

"Off with 'is 'ed!" Mitara, who was laying on top of one of the few intact pool tables, laughed idiotically.

"Check it out! I'm goin' for the highscore!" Kakashi, who had separated from the main group and wandered into the game room, was hunched over a pinball machine and was doing a damn good job of keeping that little metal ball bouncing around. Weird thing was that he'd never played pinball before in his life.

"Dude..." Inaro, who had previously been passed out on top of the Space Invaders arcade machine, asked his brother, who was currently playing it, "how long as it been since you...since you...last...did that thing with your eyes?"

"Huh?" was Isaro's articulate reply.

"You know, that...thing people do with their eyes...Where they close 'em, then open 'em real fast...Like this..." Inaro moved his mask to the side of his face and used his fingers to open and close his eyelids. "I can't do it as fast, but you get the...Um...The...Ah shit, what's the word I'm lookin' for? Idea! That's it, idea. You get it, right?"

"Huh?"

"The thing! With the eyes! You get it, don't you?" Inaro dropped his drink and looked down at it sadly. "Awwwww!" he started pawing at the air, as if trying to paddle through it to reach his beer.

"Huh?" Isaro was too far gone, not even two trains colliding at two-hundred miles per hour twenty feet from him could break through the game-induced haze that had settled over his mind.

"Blinking! That's what it is!" Inaro snapped his fingers as he figured it out.

"What's blinking?" Kakashi, who was under much the same spell as Isaro, asked.

"You know, the thing people do with their...Um...Shit, I forgot what these things are called. GAH!" Inaro reeled back and feel off of the arcade machine as he accidentally poked himself in the eye while trying to gesture to it to get his point across.

"I think they're called 'eyes'." Kakashi was drunk, but he wasn't that drunk.

_"Oh, we're going for the highscore, are we?"_ a small, high-pitched and squeaky voice called from some unknown source.

"What the hell?" Kakashi somehow managed to look around without losing his ball, but found no one besides the unconscious Inaro and the catatonic Isaro.

_"Sorry, Hatake, old boy, but I can't let you do that." _Kakashi looked at the pinball machine and frowned as he saw a remarkably tiny purple ferret inside the machine, holding the metal ball.

"Put that down, you little creep!" Kakashi smashed his fist down on the glass, cracking it right above the ferret.

_"Temper, temper, Hatake. There's no need for that kind of language!" _the ferret chided.

"Fuck off and drop the damn ball!" Kakashi shouted, drawing more than a few odd looks from the other people in the bar.

"The hell is he doing?" Pondera, who'd just shown up, asked as he sat next to Naruto at the counter.

"Don't know..." Naruto looked left, then right, then, in a flash, moved his mask and downed a shot of some unknown alcohol before moving it back into place. "And I can't say that I care."

Back with Kakashi, the ferret shook its small head. _"Tsk, tsk, tsk. Fine, if that's what you want."_ the ferret dropped the ball , which went down a straight path right between the bumpers. The machine lit up and started beeping like crazy, signaling that Kakashi had fallen short of the top score. _"Whoops."_

"YOU LITTLE BASTARD!" Kakashi jumped on top of the machine and started stomping on it, trying to crush the furry jackass under his heel.

_"Oops! Sorry! Missed me! Try again! Oh, so close! Nuh-uh! No dice! Close, but no cigar! Come on! I'll bet you could dance a mean jig!" _the ferret constantly taunted the shinobi as he darted and zipped around inside the pinball machine.

"I'll get you, you little fuckrag!" Kakashi lifted his forehead protector, revealing the Sharingan. "Prepare to be crushed, rodent!" now that he could see the ferret perfectly, he hopped into the air and came down with both feet right on top of the animal. The glass caved in, as did the entire machine. The legs gave out and it collapsed, taking Kakashi with it. "Uuuugh..." the Jōnin moaned piteously.

"Huh?" through it all, Isaro kept right on playing.

Back with the main group, things were rapidly getting out of hand. Yugito had shown up just after Pondera, and she was already buzzed, thanks to the Nibi. Naturally, Yugito had a very, very low tolerance, but her demon usually burned the alcohol from her system before it could take effect. Now the girl was on her own, and would, more than likely, wake up in some strange place that she had no recollection of getting to.

But Yugito didn't care, she was having the time of her life! Watching two ANBU and a powerful Jōnin destroy arcade games in fits of drunken rage was a once in a lifetime experience! Zabuza was a fine source of entertainment as well, chasing random people around with his huge sword, accusing them of tripping him even when they were on the other side of the bar. The woman, Anko, if she remembered correctly, was busy trying to get the other female, Kurohane, to down an entire bottle of vodka in one go. Pondera, the demon she'd played Bullshit with, was taking shots like a pro and stacking his glasses up like a pyramid. It seemed it would take a LOT to get him drunk.

She caught a little snippet of his conversation with Naruto that said otherwise.

"That chick in the corner...she's checking me out, isn't she?" the demon chuckled to himself.

Naruto turned and looked at the "chick" in the corner. "...I don't know what's worse: the fact that that's a dude, or the fact that he really is checking you out."

"I'll tell you what's worse: the fact that I'd probably go with him if I was drunk enough!" the demon smashed his head on the counter, jostling the glass pyramid, but not knocking it over. "I'm desperate, man...I haven't had any in five thousand years!" Naruto was about to say something, but Pondera cut him off. "Don't you dare say Clementia! She's like a sister to me, and I'd never fuck my sister, no matter how hot she is!" that was a bit to loud for everyone's comfort.

"It's okay, he's just drunk." Naruto said, getting understanding nods from everyone else. "You need to use your indoor voice."

"Oh, piss off! I may have been gone for five millennia, but a bar is still a bar, and I can be as loud as I want in here!" Pondera screamed, getting a couple cheers and a "Shut the hell up!".

"Alright, alright, just stop making a scene!"

"This whole place is a fuckin' scene, so blow it out your ass!" Pondera finally settled down and looked at Naruto while removing his hood. "What's wrong with me? Why won't Clementia ever take me up on my offers? Why aren't chicks throwing themselves at me right now? I'm still man-pretty, right?"

Naruto cocked his head to the side, then punched Pondera right in the face. "I hope you won't make me do that again, otherwise I'll send you back to the others with your head shoved up your own ass." there wasn't even a hint of humor in his voice as he said this.

Pondera simply shrugged and reset his nose with a loud crunch. "Thanks, I needed that. But seriously, I need to get laid at least five times."

"Five?"

"One to make up for every thousand years I missed out on!" the demon turned around and looked at his selection within the bar. "Hey, catgirl! Move over, you're blockin' my view!" the comment drew a lot of unwanted attention to Yugito, but Pondera didn't notice, and probably wouldn't have cared all too much if he did.

"Catgirl?" one man said, starting the flow of murmurs as a hush fell over the entire bar.

Everyone stopped what they were doing, which caused Naruto's group to stop what they were doing. Zabuza stopped brandishing his sword; Anko stopped trying to force booze down Kurohane's throat; Gai, who'd been resting at the counter, looked up and wondered what was going on; Kakashi and Inaro, dragging the still immobile Isaro, who had one of the joysticks of the game still grasped in his hand, came staggering out of the game room and scratched their heads in confusion; Pondera simply rose an eyebrow; and Naruto narrowed his eyes as a familiar, almost palpable tension made itself known.

'Here we go.' he thought as he quickly sobered up for what he knew was coming.

"_You_ aren't welcome here, Demon Whore." the barkeeper hissed, glaring directly at Yugito, leaving no room for speculation as to who he was talking about.

"Hey, don't talk about her like that! What the fuck did she do to you? She just got here!" Zabuza protested.

"Piss off, asshole. You don't know what she is, so just butt out." the barkeeper turned his glare back to Yugito. "Are you deaf, whore? Get out!"

Zabuza suddenly appeared in front of the barkeeper. "I know exactly _who_ she is, dirtbag. She's a shinobi of this village, and you, as well as everyone else in here, better start giving her the respect she deserves."

"Or what? I know all about you Konoha shinobi. You're guests here, you have no authority, and you can't lay a finger on any of us!"

"Actually" Naruto interjected, "we can, and will, kick all of your asses. One of you boneheads is going to try and pull a weapon on us, or something, giving us the right to retaliate."

"What he said. If she leaves, we all leave, but you'll have to make us do it, and I don't think you've got the guts, Cue Ball." Zabuza knew exactly what the man was hiding under that skullcap.

"Oh no? Gentlemen, show them all to the door. I'll be sending you the bill for the drinks and damages later." Zabuza, Yugito, Pondera and Naruto were then surrounded by eight Jōnin, who'd been sitting silently in a darkened corner of the bar.

"Who else is with you?" one of them demanded.

"We are." Anko said, walking up to the group with Kurohane in tow.

"So are we." Kakashi's eye shifted warily between each of the men as he and the twin ANBU walked up to stand next to Anko and Naruto's bodyguard, as she called herself.

"I am, too." Gai waved his arm, but didn't bother to get up from his seat.

"Same here." Mitara, who'd previously been out of action, had been woken up by a billiard ball to the forehead and shuffled his way over to his friends to see what was happening.

"Hm, eleven on eight." Naruto drawled. "That hardly seems fair, since it would take no more than three of us to take you all on..." he briefly scanned the group of Jōnin. "Maybe two."

"You're quite the smartass, aren't you?" the barkeeper sneered.

Naruto tilted his head back to look at the man behind the counter. "It's hard not to be a smartass when you're talking to dumbasses."

"Make that eighteen on eleven." the bartender pointed at the eight Chūnin and two Jōnin that had decided to make their presence known.

"Wow, eight sub-par Chūnin and two Jōnin...I'm far from impressed." Naruto snorted.

"I don't care if you're impressed or not, get the hell out of my bar!"

"No." Zabuza said with an air of finality, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Excuse me?"

"I said no, Lumpy. We're not going anywhere." the swordsman turned back to Yugito. "Yu-chan, sit down and have a drink, it's on me."

Naruto waved him off. "Nah, I've got it. I guess I'll also be paying for the damages to the bar and the hospital bills..." he flashed a smirk that only his friends could detect.

"What are you babbling about now?"

"One of these shitheads is going to do something stupid any minute now."

One of the Jōnin pulled out a kunai and held it to the back of Zabuza's neck. "Alright, that's enough! You're going to leave this bar right now, all of you, or we'll throw you out."

Naruto chuckled. "See?" he suddenly grabbed the stool next to him and launched it into the face of the one of the Jōnin, then pushed off the counter to tackle another.

Zabuza smashed his elbow into the face of the Jōnin behind him, then picked the man up with ease and threw him into his friends, knocking most of them down.

This began a massive brawl as the rest of the Konoha-nin handed out their own brands of ass-kickery. But this wasn't a battle. There were no fancy techniques, or Taijutsu styles, oh no, just fists, feet and whatever makeshift weapon you could lay your hands on. They were taking it back to the old school with a good ol' fashioned bar brawl!

Anko kicked one of the Chūnin into the counter, where he landed next to Gai, who just looked at him and groaned about people being "unyouthful". He then grabbed the Chūnin, smashed his face into the counter, then broke a rather sturdy ashtray over his head, knocking him out.

(Outside)

"Yeah, this is the place!" three men, each in their early twenties, walked down the street towards the bar.

"You sure?" one of the guys asked, he didn't like the look of that broken pool table laying in front of the building.

"I thought you said this place was normally calm and full of chicks?" the other man complained.

"It is! This is probably just from some rowdy shinobi that got a little carried away and got into a fight. You know Youji keeps those Jōnin around to take care of people like that." just as he said this, one of the Jōnin smashed through the other window and laid, unmoving and groaning in pain, on the ground. "On second thought, this isn't the place. It's further down that way, come on." the men picked up their pace and took a sharp left turn to avoid the chaos within the bar.

"Who's throwin' who out, bitch?" Zabuza screamed at the unconscious Kumo-nin.

Three more Jōnin followed soon after, courtesy of Kurohane, Anko and Mitara.

Another Jōnin came flying through the wall next to the window, prompting the four other shinobi to look at Naruto, who just shrugged, then picked up a Chūnin and body slammed him through a table.

(Inside)

A Kumo Jōnin found himself being laid out on a pool table and held down by Isaro and Yugito.

"What are you doing?" the Jōnin's answer came in the form of Inaro dragging in the Space Invaders machine and climbing on top of it.

"Elbow Drop!" Inaro flew off the machine and came down on the screaming Jōnin with a picture perfect Diving Elbow, driving the point of his elbow right into the man's chest and forcing the air from his lungs. "You can't beat a classic!" he also completely destroyed the pool table.

"One! Two! Three! We have a new champion, ladies and gentlemen!" Isaro held his brother's arm up to signal a victory while Yugito just laughed at idiocy of it all.

The two ANBU grabbed the Jōnin and carried him to the window.

"On three." Isaro said. "One..." they rocked the Kumo-nin back and forth in-time with the count. "Two..." the Jōnin was just coherent enough to see and feel what was about to happen to him. "Three!" Inaro and Isaro launched the man out of the bar like a sack of potatoes, throwing him further than anyone else.

"Cheaters!" Anko protested, as she held the previous record of fifteen feet.

"All's fair in a bar brawl!" the twins cheered.

"Hey, Gai, what are you doing, sleeping?" Zabuza asked, then ducked as an unconscious Chūnin sailed over his head and out the window.

"Leave me alone! My Flames of Youth are dangerously close to burning out, and I won't let that happen!" they left Gai to "recharge".

"Alright, someone bring the next little prick over here!" Anko pointed at Pondera. "You, stop toying with that guy and toss him out!"

The demon stopped forcing assorted nuts down his victim's throat and sighed. "Fine." measuring the distance to get the perfect shot, Pondera grabbed the man by the leg and swung him around over his head. He spied one of the Jōnin outside trying to get back to his feet and released his projectile. "Go, go, go...YES!" Pondera laughed maliciously as one man's head collided with the other, knocking them both out.

This just happened to be the Jōnin Inaro and Isaro had tossed out, and Pondera's had landed just a bit further than theirs, meaning he held the new record.

"Oh, fuck off!" Anko growled, not at all happy about being beaten not once, but twice.

"Who's next?" Zabuza asked, looking around. He saw Kakashi and Naruto in the middle of some kind of contest to see who could brutalize their victims the most.

Naruto smashed someone's face into the counter, Kakashi smashed someone's face into the counter. Naruto broke someone's jaw, Kakashi broke someone's jaw. Naruto broke a heavy bottle over someone's head, Kakashi broke a heavy bottle over someone's head. It seemed like it would go on forever, but Naruto's prey was eventually laid out cold, while Kakashi's still had some form of consciousness left in him.

"I win." was all Naruto said.

Kakashi simply waved him off, then saw Pondera's glass pyramid, which had somehow managed to stay intact, and pointed to it.

Naruto nodded and lifted Kakashi's "opponent" onto the counter. Both Konoha shinobi grabbed the man, slid him back, then launched him forward, like a torpedo, into the pyramid and off the end of the counter.

It was after a high-five that they realized they'd just cooperated for the first time.

"You're up." Naruto said, pointing to Kakashi's punching bag.

The silver-haired Jōnin nodded and carried the man over to the window, then handed him off to Zabuza and Mitara.

"Hold him just like that." Kakashi said, leaving his two comrades to hold the man in a bent over position.

"What are you doing?" Zabuza scratched his head with his free hand.

Mitara's eyebrows shot up behind his mask. "No. You'd better not!"

"What?" Zabuza questioned, looking back and forth between the ANBU and the Jōnin.

"Konohagakure Secret Technique..." Kakashi's lone eye held a menacing glint that made even Zabuza sweat a little. The laughter coming from Anko and the ANBU twins only served to confuse him more.

"What's he doing?" Naruto asked to no one in particular, but he was answered by Gai, who just hung his head.

"Something very unyouthful...Oh, so unyouthful." the man actually began to cry, muttering something about happy places.

"One Thousand Years of Death!" Kakashi lunged forward and, much to everyone's disgust, jammed his fingers right up the Kumo Jōnin's ass, sending him flying out the window like a screaming rocket and landing a hundred feet down the street.

"Ah, you sick son of a bitch!" Zabuza backed away from Kakashi, reminding himself to never shake the man's hand again.

"Ch-Cheater!" Anko gasped while in the middle of an uncontrollable fit of laughter.

"Hey, Yugito, you're up!" Naruto grabbed the cowering barkeeper and threw him over the counter and right at Yugito's feet.

"Yeah, come on, toss his ass out!" Kurohane cheered, accompanied by everyone else.

"Yeah, you can do it!" wasn't that the same guy from the last bar?

Yugito smiled inwardly, she'd never been cheered on by anyone other than the Nibi, so this was a new, and quite pleasant experience for her. She flashed a devious grin at the barkeeper and lifted him up by the front of his shirt with one arm. "Sorry, but _you_ are not welcome here!" with that she flung him at the door, breaking it off its hinges and shattering the glass from the impact.

The Konoha troop cheered as the bar was cleared out, the remaining customers running for their lives. Whoever wasn't unconscious outside was unconscious inside, and the bar had been completely totaled.

"Um...I think we should leave before the ANBU get here." Yugito was actually quite surprised that they hadn't already shown up. Normally they'd be all over something like this, especially when she was involved.

"I second that motion." Zabuza said, stepping out through the window and stumbling a bit when his feet hit the ground. That fight had gotten their blood pumping, and had spread the alcohol throughout their bodies a lot faster than normal. And, now that the adrenaline was wearing off, they were feeling the effects of their fun.

(Three Hours Later)

Naruto unlocked the door to his room and opened it, nearly falling in his drunken stupor. The only thing keeping him up was Yugito, and that's only because she'd been falling in the other direction.

"I think we're drunk..." Naruto slurred. It had taken a LOT of drinks, but Naruto had finally gotten shitfaced, and he had to say, it wasn't as bad as being high, but a close second.

"Really? Gee, I hadn't noticed! Thank you...SO much, Sherlock." Yugito laughed and dragged Naruto into the room and sat down on the couch. "Don't turn on that...thing...It's evil..." she pointed at the TV, which was probably still on the freaky porn channel.

In a span of only three hours, their group had demolished two more bars, as a result of demon comments towards Yugito, and had injured no less than fifty shinobi. Most of them would be fine with an overnight stay at the hospital, but they'd still be hearing about it in the morning. They'd also managed to not only get Pondera drunk, but to get the demon five drunk women with which to have his own "fun". All in all, everyone had a great time.

"And the rain will kill us all! We throw ourselves against the wall!" someone's terrible, drunken singing assaulted Naruto and Yugito's ears through the still-open door.

The voice was soon accompanied by another, nearly identical one. "But no one else can see the preservation of the martyr in me!"

"Psychosocial!" both voices chanted as they walked down the hall.

"Shut the fuck up!" Naruto screamed.

"No!"

"I'll kill you!...Later." Naruto slumped back into the sofa.

"Come on, you're drunk. You need to go to bed." Yugito dragged Naruto off of the couch and to his room, as per his directions, but ended up in the bathroom.

"I said left." Naruto grumbled.

"You said right!" Yugito smacked him on the back of the head.

"The hell I did!" Naruto got up and kicked in the door to his room. "Left!" he walked in and collapsed onto his bed, followed by Yugito. "Why are you still here?"

"I've suddenly found myself without the ability to move...I can't feel my legs..."

"Being drunk kinda sucks..."

"Yep."

"But it's a lot of fun."

"Yep."

It was now that Zabuza, supported by Anko, walked by and peered into Naruto's room.

"Oh! Naruto, you dog, you!" Anko snickered.

Naruto simply flipped them off.

"Save it for Yu-chan, 'Ruto." Zabuza dug around in his pockets for something. "Ah-hah!" he pulled out a small cardboard box and tossed it to Naruto. "Here ya' go!"

Yugito picked up the box as it bounced off of Naruto's head. "Trojan Brand Condoms...Large." no one knew if it was just the alcohol, or what, but Yugito's face literally glowed red.

Naruto turned his head to send a death-glare at his friends, but noticed that they'd left. Grabbing the condoms, Naruto shambled out of the room like a zombie.

He found Zabuza and Anko within the room Anko shared with Kakashi, Gai and Kurohane.

"Wow, that was over quick." Zabuza whistled, then noticed the box in Naruto's hand.

Anko also noticed it. "See? I told you those were too small!"

"Those were the biggest we could find!" Zabuza pointed out.

"Those were the biggest you stuck around to look for!" Anko countered, referring to Zabuza bailing on her to avoid suspicion.

Kakashi and Gai walked in and stared at the scene, wondering what was going on. They received their answer, but neither liked it at all.

"Why is this even an issue?" Zabuza rubbed his temples.

"Because a big cock requires a big condom, you dunce! It's simple physics!" Anko exclaimed, not caring who heard her.

"I didn't hear that, I wasn't here, Kakashi has left the building." Kakashi muttered and made a b-line for his room, dropping Gai off on the way.

"...How do you know about...you know." Zabuza gestured to Naruto, who was twitching violently.

"Hinata told me...Seems she's quite the little voyeur with that Byakugan of hers."

"Huh...It's always the quiet ones."

Naruto looked at the box of condoms. "'Guaranteed to never rip or break, or your money back'...Hmm..." Naruto took out a string of them and unwrapped two, stretching them to test their strength "Stretchy...". He looked back and forth between the condoms and his soon-to-be victims, then pounced, slipping a condom over both their heads. "DIE, ASSHOLES!"

Zabuza and Anko found themselves feebly gasping for air and attempting to rip the synthetic rubber off, but it wasn't going anywhere. Not only was it made to never tear, it was made to never slip off, and, once it was on, it stayed there unless properly removed. It was very hard to properly remove something when it wasn't properly applied in the first place.

To make sure they were dispatched, the coat-tails of Naruto's jacket came to life and wrapped themselves around the heads of the two shinobi.

"Shh, shh, it'll all be over soon...Just relax and let the Sandman whisk you away into your eternal slumber." Naruto looked around to make sure no one would interrupt him.

"Let them go, Naruto." the voice of the Hokage made Naruto release his two captives.

"But-"

"No buts. Take the condoms off their heads, go back to your room, and go to sleep. And prepare yourself for one hell of a hangover. I can't even imagine the amount it must have taken to get you like this." Sarutobi never thought he'd tell someone to take condoms off of other people's heads, but there was a first time for everything, especially around Naruto.

Naruto sighed and, forming the coat-tails into blades, commanded them to cut the condoms off, then he left the room like a child who'd been told to get off the swings and come home.

"I wasn't gonna kill 'em." he muttered as he walked passed the Sandaime.

"I'm sure you weren't, Naruto-kun, but I can't take any chances." he looked back into the room and shook his head. "Why do the best shinobi always have to be the weirdest ones?"(11) he closed the door and used the Body Flicker to return to the Raikage's office.

Naruto made it back to his room without incident and flopped onto his bed, asleep before his head even hit the pillow. He never noticed the other person in his bed, nor did he notice his mask falling from his face.

Within his mind, Kyuubi chuckled at the events that were sure to come in the morning.

**"This is a lot more fun than it should be." **the demoness muttered gleefully.

_"Blackmail...So much blackmail..."_ Nightmare said robotically while scribbling the night's happenings in his Notepad of Let's-Never-Speak-of-This-Again. He'd need a new notepad after tonight.

(Meanwhile, In A Cave Miles Away)

Two cloaked figures appeared in puffs of smoke at the mouth of the cave.

"Insane. They're all seriously fuckin' insane!" one of the figures muttered.

"Coming from you, that's saying something." the other drawled.

"Fuck off, you saw 'em! Seriously, how can anyone be that drunk? Let alone an entire group!" the man threw off his straw had, revealing his slicked back grey hair.

"Does it really matter? It doesn't change the mission at all...probably makes it easier." the other man took of his hat and cancelled the Genjutsu over himself, revealing the red cloud designs on his cloak.

The other man did the same, except a triple-bladed scythe was also revealed to be strapped to his back.

"Yeah, yeah, I guess having a hangover makes anyone an easy target."

"Perhaps too easy."

"For once we agree on something, Kakuzu."

The Akatsuki member just grunted to his partner. "So many high-level shinobi...so many bounties..."

"Here we go." the unnamed Akatsuki member muttered while pinching the bridge of his nose. "Can you not focus on bounties so much? Seriously, it's like an obsession with you."

"Momochi alone is worth four million in Kirigakure! The Mizukage must really not like him." Kakuzu said to himself, barely even registering the presence of his partner.

The other man sighed and turned to the person he'd dragged in with him. It was the barkeeper at the second bar his target and her ragtag group of friends had wrecked.

"Hello, dickhead!" the man greeted his frightened captive cheerfully.

"Where am I? Who are you?" the terrified barkeeper tried to back himself further into the cave, but was halted by the wall.

The man before him simply gave a disarming smile. "Nevermind that, you've been chosen for a great honor..."

"Honor?"

The man nodded, then his smile turned from cheerful to vicious as he grabbed the barkeeper by the neck and hoisted him into the air.

"You've been chosen to be a sacrifice to Jashin-sama!"

Kakuzu snarled as a sequence of bloodcurdling screams ripped through the cave.

"Dammit, Hidan, you made me lose my place!" he'd been adding up the bounty for the assorted Konoha-nin in his head, and now he had to start all over again!

Hidan's head poked out from behind a rock, his face covered in blood. "Well fuck me, so sorry to be such an inconvenience to you!"

"You know, sometimes you and your sociopathic nut of a God get on my last nerve."

Hidan pointed his scythe at his partner. "Watch it, Kakuzu. You can insult me all you like, but do NOT bring Jashin-sama into it!"

Kakuzu waved him off. "Whatever. Get on with your little ceremony, or whatever the hell you call it, just put some duct tape over his mouth, or something!"

Hidan narrowed his eyes. "I'd rather put some over your mouth."

Kakuzu rolled his eyes and sighed. "Do you really want to go through that again? If I take your head off one more time, I'm not reattaching it, I don't care what Leader-sama says! I'll let Zetsu's lapdog play hacky-sack with it."

"Well, come on, fuckface, I'll take you out right now! I keep telling that little prick of a leader that I don't need a partner, but he never fucking listens! Seriously, Zetsu gets to work alone, so why can't I?"(12)

"Zetsu's more useful than you are, and more respectful. It's no wonder he has more influence than you, and gets to work alone." Kakuzu explained, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"Fuck Zetsu, fuck Leader-_sama_, and fuck you! I tolerate you and your blasphemous ways for now, but just remember that you're expendable." Hidan ducked back behind the rock and another scream rang out, then quieted to a low gurgle before dying out completely.

Kakuzu simply snorted. "You say that like you aren't." with that, he went back to calculating bounties.

XXXX

And there you have it!

You may have noticed that Naruto took the soul of one man, yet left all the others alone. This is not true. The Black Soul automatically absorbs any wandering souls it comes across unless those souls are strong enough to resist its pull, then Naruto has to step in and have the blade contact the soul directly. Anytime Naruto kills someone or something, its soul is released and the Black Soul absorbs it. So, while it may not be as dramatic as Mizuki's, everyone Naruto kills or is close to when they die has their soul absorbed. There are exceptions, however, like Kitoro, where Naruto won't allow the blade to take the soul.

(1) What, you thought the scrying orb was unique to Sarutobi? I've made it another general perk of being a Kage.

(2) When used against a real enemy, this technique would have closer to fifty-million volts running through it, about half the strength of a lightning bolt. Also, a million volts is enough to kill anything, but, with a strong Lightning alignment, like Kakashi's, it would be more of a bad static shock than anything.

(3) I don't want to hear any shit about honor amongst shinobi. It's fairly obvious that the people here aren't your normal shinobi, so it's no stretch to say they have different guidelines and beliefs.

(4) For those that don't know, Hinade is the name of the Nibi no Nekomata from the original legend.

(5) Just another point in the Social Outcast category. Being taller than most of the people around you, male and female alike, tends to garner more than a bit of negative attention when combined with being a demon vessel.

(6) It's true. In my experiences, anytime a ninja is involved, said ninja is almost always cheap in some way. Even when you're playing as the ninja in games like Shinobi(PS2)you feel like it's just plain unfair to your opponents to have to face your awesomeness.

(7) This technique came to me courtesy of The Fifth Rider of Armageddon, though it was originally called Lightning Tiger. I changed the name, but credit for the idea goes to him.

(8) Guess who...And no, he hasn't been alive for thousands of years, or anything like that. It'll be explained later.

(9) I realize that I've been very vague as to dates in this story. I've never mentioned the month, and I rarely mention the day or time. I'm going to try and put this in the coming chapters so you can all follow the story better.

(10) I fucking hate beanbag chairs! They're so freakin' comfortable, yet they're a bitch to get up from. Especially the really big ones. They can, literally, swallow you, I've seen it happen. It's never happened to me, I'm a bit too big for that, but I have gotten stuck more than a few times...It sucks, but it's still funny as hell.

(11) It's true! The strongest shinobi in the Narutoverse are always weird! I'd say Itachi and Sarutobi are the only ones who aren't. Every member of Akatsuki has some kind of weird quirk or appearance; Kakashi and Jiraiya were extreme perverts; Gai is...Gai; Anko's a sadistic nympho(guessing); Zabuza had no eyebrows; Gaara was completely insane; Sasugay's emo incarnate; Tsunade's got her freakish strength and a drinking problem; and don't even get me started on Orochimaru and Kabuto!

(12) I've watched a couple eps. of Shitppuuden and noticed that Hidan seems to like saying "Seriously", so he'll be saying it a lot in this story, and it'll be sort of a running gag later.

I guess that's it. As usual, any questions about the story will be answered to the best of my ability. Again, I apologize for the delay, and the fact that the surprise I mentioned isn't here, but if I had carried on to the ending I'd planned, I probably wouldn't have updated for another week at least. Again, sorry.

Merry X-mas to all, and to all a good night!

Jason Out!


	30. A Marked Man

Hello, everybody!

Before you seek to tear me apart, hear me out, I have valid reasons for this taking so long.

There's been a lot going on over the past few months. My cousin robbed a bank in Ohio, and that kick started a kind of downward spiral within my family. So I've been playing peacekeeper ever since. And before that I was completely stumped on what to do with this fic. I knew where I wanted it to go, I just didn't know how to get it there.

But then I finally got it together and actually got something done...Then I got stuck again. I can't make that damned "Idea Factory" stop! Sometimes it seems as though I can't settle on one idea for more than three hours before scrapping it for something new!

And the shitty part is that very few of my ideas are for this fic. I get ideas for my Digimon stories and get sidetracked, or sometimes I get ideas for stories I never even thought of before.

For example, I've got a prototype for a Love Hina fic on my computer. This also brings me to my next point. I've gotten sidetrack with reading as well, mostly Love Hina fics. I don't know what it is about them, but they always seem to put a smile on my face. A lot of them are just hilarious! Some of them are funny in that they're so horribly written you can't possible take it seriously, and others are genuinely funny. Either way, I find a lot of my free time devoted to those stories.

Then there's the movie. With movies like My Bloody Valentine 3D and Friday the 13th out, my friends have caught the Slasher Bug, and they just HAD to make a movie. And, being that I stand at 6' 8", I HAD to play the killer. But that's not all! I also had another role in the film, the Nameless Mechanic...Why? I had a total of 12 lines, and my main purpose was to fuck around with a truck, pretending to work on the engine, and just stand there and look "scary". I felt like a damn jackass.

But guess what else...I was also in charge of the pyrotechnics and the gore!

FYI, at Hell's Gate Films, we only use fake blood if our actors are uncomfortable with anything else, or if the blood will be in their mouths. Otherwise, we use real, sterilized deer blood. A lot of our actors, including myself, think that real blood adds a lot to a film. On camera, it looks like real blood because it is real blood. And the actors know it's real blood, so the looks of disgust on their faces aren't faked at all.

Anywho, bottom-line is that there's been a lot of shit going on, and I've either had little time to devote to writing, or I just didn't know what to write.

That's pretty much it, so I hope you guys and gals have enjoyed your Spring Breaks, and I hope you enjoy Chapter Thirty of Black Flames Dance In The Wind: Rise of Naruto!

XXXX

(Unknown Location)

Dark, cold, creepy, and just all-around unpleasant. That was the way most would describe the chamber of the Kumogakure no Sato Council. This included the lone ANBU standing in the middle of it, feeling isolated and paranoid as he stood there, under that huge, glaring light that hung on the ceiling. He could feel the eyes of every Council member on him, and he didn't like it. He felt much too vulnerable. He'd give anything to be able to just slip into a shadowed corner and give his report from there. The darkness was his only true friend, and he longed for its embrace more than ever.

"Hello again, Bear-san." the downright evil voice of the head Elder boomed, shattering the disturbing silence of the chamber. "I do hope you've brought us good news." even though the man had to be in his sixties, he didn't sound a day over thirty. His voice carried a slight accent of unknown origin, and a sinister undertone that betrayed a very depraved man. It also held a tone of unquestionable authority, and, even if he was just telling someone to get him some coffee, the message "Do what I say, or die" was firmly planted into the minds of all who heard him.

The ANBU swallowed hard and tried to rein in his trembling, to little effect. "Not really, S-Sir...N-Neither Kage said anything of any real importance, mostly personal things and Akatsuki's presence in the area."

"...Is that so...Well then, I suppose you'll be having a very late night, Bear-san...I advise caffeine pills, but do try not to overdo it, will you? We'd hate to have to..._relieve_ another ANBU from his duties, especially one of your caliber."

"Another?" the ANBU asked, against his better judgment.

"Yes, there was another man in your position not even two days ago...He couldn't handle the late nights keeping tabs on our Raikage, and ended up taking too many caffeine pills...The mission was compromised when he was discovered due to him not being able to sit still for more than two seconds...He doesn't have that problem anymore."

The ANBU could almost _feel_ the sadistic grin on the old man's face. "D-Do you r-require my presence for a-anything else?" he really hoped they didn't, as his plate was full enough, but a couple extra "Brownie Points" couldn't hurt.

"..." silence. Absolute silence. No breathing, no shifting, no hushed whispers; no sound whatsoever.

But, even so, the ANBU could tell they were communicating with one another. How he knew, he couldn't fathom, but he knew, and he didn't like it at all.

"As a matter of fact, there is a...little something we may need you for...Well, not so much you, but your squad." the Elder paused again, as if waiting for any questions before continuing, but the ANBU knew not to speak until the man was finished. "Are you not curious as to what we require?" the Elder asked.

The ANBU flinched a bit, but it was unnoticeable. "I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't, but, with all due respect, I don't think that it matters much. Regardless of what I tell them, they will refuse to follow an order given by you."

"This is true...But they will follow your orders without question...They trust you...The fools."

The ANBU flinched again, that stung. It reminded him of how he was betraying his team, using them to accomplish the Council's goals. Forcing them to work for the people they hated with such passion. He was a manipulative bastard; that was how he, and any other shinobi worth his rank, was trained. But it did nothing to lessen the sting of manipulating his own friends.

"Very well. What do you require of me?" the ANBU steeled himself, beating his conscience into submission and locking it in a mental closet. It would only get him killed around people like this.

"It is very simple...Simple enough that we trust even your squad with it..." another stinger. "The group from Konoha...There are some of their number that are unknown to us...Three ANBU and one..._Hunter_...The ANBU are of no concern to us...But the _Hunter_, however, has...piqued our interest..."

'The poor bastard.' the ANBU thought bitterly. He had "piqued their interest" a while ago. 'And look where it got me.'

"We want information on him...We need to know who he is and what he can do...He could be a powerful ally...Or a troublesome enemy...We would like to know ahead of time if he can be swayed to our side...We believe that he is far more loyal to his Kage than you..." ouch. "We have been informed, by another of our operatives, that the Jinchuuriki has taken...a shine to the _Hunter_...We would like to know why they have become so..._friendly_ with one another..." the Elder had a habit of pausing frequently when he spoke, as if he was constantly measuring his words and thinking of exactly what to say.

That was another thing that made the old man so scary. He was constantly thinking, constantly plotting. That, in itself, was unnerving enough, but no one, not even the other members of the Council, knew what he was thinking about at any given moment. This was a man that was easily able to split his focus to handle at least four different things at a time, as confirmed by the bear-masked ANBU having witnessed him reading three reports all at once while speaking to him about a completely different matter. This almost inhuman ability made it impossible to tell what he was thinking about while talking to you.

'Knowing him as "well" as I do, he's probably thinking of how long it'll be until I outlive my usefulness to the Council's plans.' now that was a scary thought. Your employer thinking of when and how to dispose of you? It was made all the more terrifying when you know that you can't run from your fate. The Council's influence reached far beyond the village, and they could find him no matter where he went. At that moment, the ANBU decided that he'd rather die than be on the run for the rest of his life.

"Do you understand what we require?" the Elder spoke once again.

The ANBU snapped to attention. "Yes, sir, I understand my orders..." he trailed off, trying to find the right words to say next.

The Elder picked up on it. "Is there something you wish to add...Bear-san?"

The ANBU failed to suppress a small flinch. "I...I'm just curious as to how I'm supposed to get my team to follow your orders."

The Elder let out a small sigh. "Are you really that much of an imbecile? Simply tell your squad...that it is YOU who does not trust the..._Hunter_...Give them the order to keep tabs on the _Hunter_...But make no mention of us...I would tell you not to fail us, but, given your squad's...track record, that would be something of a...moot point."

'Does he always have to insult me so much?' the ANBU didn't dare voice his objection, knowing he could, and would, be disposed of for something as minor as "back-talk".

"Do you understand _now_, Bear-san?" the ANBU nodded an affirmative. "Good...You are dismissed." the chamber was then plunged into silence once again. If the ANBU hadn't known better, he'd swear that the Council had just up and left. But he could tell they were all still there, watching him like hawks.

'More like vultures.' the ANBU mentally grumbled, then disappeared in a flash of light accompanied by a low rumble.

(Otogakure no Sato - Lab Twelve)

"Hmm..." Orochimaru scratched his chin as he stared at the monitors before him, watching the live-feed from the holding cells for his experiments. "I don't think Four-Twenty-Seven is alive anymore...Oh, wait, he just twitched...Maybe a death rattle?" he shrugged, the experiment was considered a failure anyway, and it didn't look like he was getting any better. "He could at least move yesterday. Oh well, might as well get some use out of him." with an evil smirk, the humanoid snake pressed a small red button on the monitor's panel.

Within the cell, flames suddenly spewed forth from the walls, floor and ceiling, incinerating the "dead" experiment. A blood-curdling wail erupted from the burning creature, but it died down until it was eventually drowned out by the roar of the fire.

"Guess he wasn't dead." the flames receded, leaving only a charred mess and an oddly-shaped pile of ashes in the far left corner. "The plants in the garden will love him." the man, who just might have been one of the most sinister humans on the planet, took out a small walkie-talkie. "Attention, Lab Twelve Janitorial Staff, experiment Four-Twenty-Seven has...expired. Gather his remains and mix them with the fertilizer. You know the rest." about four seconds later, a group of six men rushed into the charred cell and began to clean it up, prepping it for its next occupant.

The door to the room opened and silver-haired shinobi walked through, then bowed to his master.

Orochimaru didn't even turn around, he just continued to watch the monitors. "Ah, Kabuto-kun, what news do you bring me on this fine day?" this manner of speech was out of character for the man, but today was a day of discovery! And what a discovery it had been!

"It appears as though your Summon was terminated in the field."

"That's not news, Kabuto-kun. And only one of my spies was destroyed, the other two returned a while ago." Orochimaru turned to his right-hand man with what could only be described as a diabolical grin. "And, I must admit, they both brought wonderful information back with them."

Kabuto rose an eyebrow and cocked his head to the side a fraction of an inch. "Sir?"

"Not all of my spies were serpents, my friend." Orochimaru held out his hand and an insect, which had followed Kabuto into the room, landed in his palm. "This may look like a simple fly, though a rather large one, but it is actually a tiny surveillance device equipped to record both video and audio in any situation. The snake was just a distraction for Naruto-kun, a necessary sacrifice to make it even more unlikely for him to notice these."

"...I see..." Kabuto made a mental note to be wary of any bugs he came across from that moment on.

"Remember those rogues from Kumogakure that arrived here last month? Well, they originally developed these for their Council to keep track of the Raikage. But they didn't count on the man being able to detect the minute electrical fields they produce and eliminating them before they could gather anything useful. Apparently, their Council didn't take too kindly to this oversight, and they were set to be killed. But, using these machines, they found out about the Council's plans and fled to me." Orochimaru gave a short chuckle. "Their technological expertise has turned out to be invaluable as of late."

Indeed it had. The Techies, as they were "affectionately" called by the rest of the grunts, were always turning out new weapons and devices. Some were as mundane as the perfect toaster, while others were as destructive as the Will-o-Wisps. These contraptions were spheres, around the size of a baseball, that used a small but powerful chakra battery to create an anti-gravity field that allowed it to float and move at very high speeds. These machines could track their targets by locking onto their chakra signature and would follow them until their power source ran dry. Once they reached said target, they could take it down with any number of methods. Some could sprout telescopic spikes and turn into spinning balls of pointy death. Others could explode, sending thousands of fragments of near-molten metal at extremely high velocity. Like a fragmentation grenade, only several times more powerful. Pretty much anything the customer wanted; the Techies even made individual custom models. For the right price.

But these little robots were, in Orochimaru's expert opinion, their finest creations to date. They made life so much easier. With these devices, he could scout out areas miles away without lifting a finger and without the risk of one of his shinobi being discovered. The only drawback was that these machines were all hand-crafted, as the Techies hadn't gotten around to creating a machine that could create other machines. They'd need their entire lab back in Kumo to accomplish that. The reason this was a drawback was because it made production painfully slow. Just one of the tiny machines would take up to a month before it was completed, and another week for it to be properly programmed. It was fairly obvious that there would be no mass-production anytime soon, probably not even in the Techie's lifetimes.

So Orochimaru had to make due with what he had. And make due with it, he did. He only had access to twelve of them, and seven of those were the earlier prototype models that were inferior in every way to the newer models. They were slower, larger, had a more limited range, a less advanced camera system, and they couldn't record audio. But they served their purpose. That being the case, he never used more than two of them for any one assignment. He knew he was taking a huge gamble by sending two of his newer models to spy on Sarutobi's group, but nothing else would do. There were way too many high-class shinobi to send in any of his human warriors, or his experiments. Even his Elite Guard would be mutilated long before they gathered any information. No, only the machines could be trusted with this.

Kabuto didn't much like the grin on his master's face, but he had to admit that it intrigued him.

"If you don't mind my asking, Sir, what's got you in such a good mood? Surely nothing _that_ incredible happened."

Orochimaru's grin didn't slip, if anything, it widened. "But that's where you're wrong, Kabuto-kun. This discovery is absolutely monumental!" for a second, it seemed like he was going to launch into some kind of rant, but he just looked at the miniscule robot in his hand and walked over to the computer on the desk to his right. "No point in talking about it if I can just show you." after a few keystrokes a small panel in the desk opened up next to the computer and a small platform emerged from it. The robot flew from Orochimaru's hand and landed on the platform, which sank back into the desk and the panel closed again.

A few more keystrokes, and the largest monitor, which was in the center of an entire wall lined with them, displayed the video that the machine had captured. Orochimaru walked Kabuto through the entire video, explaining the significance of even frame.

"Do you understand now? These creatures...they're marvelous, all of them." he paused the video to display one of the deformed, blade-limbed monsters. "Especially these...This must be what it's like to have demons at your beck and call...If so, I must have him." Orochimaru's body began to shake in excitement. "This power...His power...I must have it." Naruto could become his most powerful warrior if he played his cards right. "With the Sharingan and this kind of power at my disposal...This world will be mine!" he cackled.

Kabuto failed to fully suppress the shiver that made his entire body vibrate. He may have been with Orochimaru for years, but there were just some things no one could get used to. However, despite him being thoroughly creeped out, a thought other than leaving the room ASAP did float across his mind.

'That's all well and good...But, according to Shizaru-sama, there won't be a world left to rule.'

(?)

Through the scorched halls of an ancient Archdemon's castle, another Archdemon stalked, a low growl resonating from his throat.

Shizaru was not in a good mood. Not at all. He'd just been forced to endure one of the most degrading moments of his life, and he somehow knew that he'd never live it down. Well, to be more accurate, he knew _someone_ wouldn't let him live it down.

_**"Inferno!" **_the black-clad Archdemon snarled as he kicked the door to Inferno's room down.

_"Temper, temper, Shiz-man. I'm right here." _Inferno, still in his subordinate's body, sat in a ratty old recliner, reading a newspaper.

Shizaru turned to the Fire Archdemon, his eyes glowing brightly under his hood. _**"You're the last being that should be talking to me about my temper!" **_he noticed the newspaper and scoffed. _**"The 'New York Times'? How many millennia old is that? How has it even survived this long? Especially around you?"**_

Inferno simply shrugged and turned the page. _"Fuck if I know."_

Shizaru narrowed his eyes. _**"Come off it, you're not fooling anyone. That newspaper contains far too many 'big words' for you to possibly comprehend, so drop it and look at me when I'm addressing you."**_

Inferno stopped in mid-page turn and glared at Shizaru over the top of the newspaper. _"Excuse you?" _the paper suddenly burst into flames right in his hands, quickly becoming nothing but a pile of black ash at Inferno's feet. _"Who the fuck do you think you are? I don't care what rank you hold in Lord Arcarian's army, I do not, and I will not, follow your orders!"_

Shizaru stepped right up to Inferno, towering over him, as Inferno's new body was nowhere near as tall as his previous one. _**"Lord Arcarian left me in charge of his army, of which you are a part. It matters not if you like it, or if you hate it. It matters not if I'm less than happy with the arrangement. It is Lord Arcarian's will, and it will be done, regardless of our wishes. And it is Lord Arcarian's will that you follow my orders, just like everyone else."**_

_"You have no idea how much I want to kill you right now." _Inferno hissed, hatred, literally, burning in his eyes.

_**"I have some idea, but, just like what you want, it doesn't matter. Nevermind the fact that I hold I higher rank than you, you couldn't beat me on your best day. That much I've proven a hundred times over. Now that you're at, what, thirty percent of your total power, at the most? I could beat you with both hands tied behind my back."**_

Inferno's eye twitched. _"It's not your hands that I have to worry about." _he suddenly lashed out with one of his flame swords, which was easily blocked by a black tentacle that rose from Shizaru's shadow.

_**"I suppose so." **_the tentacle wrapped around Inferno's arm and squeezed down, snapping it like a twig and causing him to drop his sword, which extinguished to become a harmless hilt, but the Archdemon didn't even blink, he just snarled. _**"But that only serves to widen the gap between our levels of power. I am far superior to you, and I probably always will be."**_

Inferno smirked. _"'Probably'? Is that doubt I hear?"_

_**"I'm not foolish, or arrogant, enough to think that I'll remain the strongest forever. You may very well surpass me one day, same as the young Halfling. But, as of now, the notion that you can match me should never cross either of your minds." **_Shizaru gazed at his unruly subordinate for a second, then sent him to the floor with a vicious backfist. _**"I hope that got through that thick skull of yours, **_**Grunt**_**, for I will not tolerate your rebellious attitude any longer. From this day forward, you will follow my orders, without question or complaint, to the letter. If you fail to carry out even a single one of the tasks I give you, I will cast you back into The Pit; back where you belong. Do I make myself clear?" **_there was no room for argument in the Archdemon's voice, but a mocking undertone made itself known, as if daring Inferno to go against him.

Inferno growled, his entire body vibrating in sheer rage. The blow to his physical form was nothing, he'd had much worse from Shizaru. But the blow to his pride was one that would be slow to heal, if it ever did. Rising to his feet, his eyes ablaze and the steam rising from his body, Inferno glared into Shizaru's cold and calculating eyes. Inferno's eyes were burning tempests of rage and malice; abyssal pits betraying a cruel insanity and animalistic brutality. Wild and furious, just like the element that called him "Master".

But Shizaru's eyes were different. If Inferno's eyes were like the blazing Sixth Circle, the hell that most humans envisioned; Shizaru's were the frozen wasteland of the Seventh Circle. Twin sheets of burning ice with deep, seemingly infinite chasms at the center. But these dark rifts weren't endless, oh no, there was a bottom. And at that bottom laid a beast that not even Inferno was willing to provoke.

He may have talked a good game, trading banter with his fellow Archdemon at every turn, insulting him like there was no tomorrow. But, in the five millennia they had been forced to work side-by-side, Inferno had seen just what Shizaru and his Shadow Gate Limiter were capable of. At ten percent, Shizaru was more than a match for all but the strongest humans. At twenty percent, whole armies couldn't stand in his way. At thirty percent, he could turn entire countries into barren wastelands. At forty percent, there were few demons that dared to even look at him, let alone challenge him. At fifty percent, even Inferno backed off, taking survival over pride and quickly making himself scarce. At sixty percent...Well, to date, anything above fifty percent had never been witnessed by anyone other than Arcarian himself during Shizaru's test to see if he was truly worthy of being the General of Hell's Army. But, for Inferno, fifty percent was enough.

But that didn't mean Inferno would ever truly back down.

_'Have your fun in the spotlight while you can, Shizaru. We'll be on even ground soon enough...Then I will surpass and humiliate you, just as you have done to me for so many centuries. You aren't the only one with a Limiter, asshat.' _Inferno thought, still glaring into Shizaru's eyes.

Shizaru, however, wasn't intimidated in the least. _**"I don't believe you answered the question, **_**Grunt**_**. Did I say it too fast for your fragile mind to process? Let me ask again. Do. I. Make. Myself. Clear?" **_Inferno had about two seconds to answer before his new body was eradicated, via claw through the forehead.

_"...Crystal." _Inferno managed to growl out, then stalked past Shizaru, intentionally bashing his shoulder into the taller Archdemon.

_**"I don't recall giving you an order yet."**_

_"I already know what to do."_

_**"Hm?"**_

_"You're not the only one with spies in the field."_

Shizaru just silently watched his subordinate storm out of the room, his feet burning holes in the floor as small, but undeniably intense flames danced around him.

_**"One more thing, **_**Grunt**_**."**_ Shizaru called out, stopping Inferno in his tracks.

_"What now?" _Inferno snarled, the flames around him glowing white was his anger continued to rise. What he needed was a good killing spree, and he needed it _now_.

_**"Excuse me?"**_

Inferno involuntarily flinched. _"...What do you wish of me now...Sir?"_

_**"Better. I don't require anything further from you, just wanted to give you some...words of encouragement." **_

Inferno frowned deeply, getting the feeling that he wasn't going to like what was coming.

_"...What?"_

_**"...You can do it!" **_in a display of supreme out-of-character...ness, Shizaru pumped his fist into the air. He may have hated that line with a passion, but Inferno hated it even more, and it fit with the moment, so he had to use it.

Inferno lost it and flung a huge fireball at Shizaru, roaring like any respectable demon should.

The fireball hit its mark and exploded, resulting in a dome of fire rapidly expanding to engulf the entire room and burn everything within it to a crisp. But, in the middle of it all, Shizaru stood, without so much as a singed thread on his robe.

_**"Weak." **_Shizaru vanished, his last word seeming to echo throughout the room.

Inferno's entire body shook with another inhuman growl. _"I'll kill him...I swear I'll kill him! Even if it takes me another thousand years, I'll do it! Five-thousand, ten-thousand, a hundred-thousand; it doesn't matter! Namikaze Shizaru, Master of Darkness, First General of Hell's Army, Right Hand of Lord Arcarian...MY HANDS WILL BE COVERED IN YOUR BLOOD!" _with one final roar, white-hot flames exploded from Inferno's body and quickly spread throughout the entire castle, melting entire hallways, blowing out windows, turning furniture to piles of ash, and incinerating anything still inhabiting the castle's many levels.

Only the subterranean levels were unharmed, and in those winding corridors, Tira looked up, eyes wide and curious, almost innocent. She put a finger to her lips, looking for all the world like an awe-struck child.

"Ohh, Inferno-sama is maaaaaaad." she giggled and started twirling her Ring Blade on her arm while running down the corridor. "Gotta go, gotta go, gotta go!" she chanted as she evacuated the castle. Her haunting giggles bounced off the stone walls, reverberating through the silent corridors. Those who heard it felt an involuntary shudder run through their entire beings, and wondered just how a sound that was so innocent and happy could instill a kind of terror that even the most vicious creatures, demonic or otherwise, couldn't achieve.

Further down in the bowels of the castle, within a room that looked more like a slaughterhouse than living quarters, a young man stood at the side of a large metal table. On this table laid various instruments of torture. Some, like the scalpels and bonesaw, were of a surgical nature; while others, like the dōzuki(1) and the steel spork were normal household items. But, regardless of their original intended implementations, each object was now used for the sole purpose of causing pain. This was the case with just about everything in the room.

Meat hooks hanging from chains attached to the ceiling, rows of spikes lining the far wall, what looked like a large compactor in the back, and a few more terror-inducing contraptions in the far right corner. From the looks of the room, these instruments had been getting quite a lot of use. So much so, that dried blood was flaking off the walls in thick chunks, like old paint. Most of the drains for when the room was hosed down were clogged with bits flesh and hair. The smell was terrible, but the youth didn't seem to mind. In fact, he seemed at peace with it.

As the castle shook from Inferno's rampage, the teen ran a blood-drenched hand through his grey hair and looked up. He had something of an androgynous appearance, looking too feminine to be male, yet to masculine to be female. His amber-colored eyes rolled as he sighed.

"Shizaru-sama must have been here again." he was the only thing that could set Inferno off like that. His right hand came up to fiddle with a pendent hanging from a silver chain around his neck. The pendent was a simple one, just a triangle surrounded by a circle, but it held a far greater meaning than its looks betrayed.

"...P-Please..." a weak, sputtering voice whimpered from somewhere within the middle of the room, which was the only part of the room not bathed in eerie, pale green light.

The youth seemed to perk up a bit. "Hm? You're still alive?" he walked around the table, moving the meat hooks out of his way as he went. "Forgive me, Jashin-sama." he had left a sacrifice alive. Such a transgression would require three more kills to be wiped away.

"...Please..." came another pitiful whimper, followed by wretched hacking and coughing, then the sound of a large amount of liquid hitting the floor.

"I see now. I missed your heart and pierced your lung. I do hope you won't hold that against me." the teen smiled kindly to the middle-aged man hanging from two meat hooks, which were buried deep into his body just under his ribcage to keep him suspended. There was nothing really outstanding about him, short brown hair, brown eyes, five-o'clock shadow; no real distinguishing traits...unless one counted the metal rod that was stabbed into his chest, slightly off to the right of the center. "I'm sorry that you had to suffer so much, I really am...But it is Jashin-sama's will, and I cannot go against it. However, your pain is at an end, for I grant you release." he held his hand out flat and gathered chakra around it, like the Chakra Scalpel technique. Then, quicker than all but the most trained human eyes could follow, he whipped his hand upward along the dying man's body, the chakra slicing into him and splitting his body from crotch to cranium.

The two halves of the body separated with a sickening wet peeling sound and started to sway from side to side on the meat hooks. They would keep coming back together on the backswing, then separate with the same nauseating sound. But the teen didn't mind in the least.

The man was a failed sacrifice, not worthy of Jashin's time. No, he had to acquire three new victims in order to please his dark God.

"Juujikei!" Tira's voice startled the young man, causing him to flinch when the door to his "workshop" was suddenly smashed down by the deceptively petite woman. "Juu-chan!"

Juujikei simply sighed. 'I should really be used to this by now.' Tira was a master of chakra suppression, to the point where even Inferno had trouble detecting her when she really didn't want to be found. "Yes, Tira-san?"

The oddly clothed woman's grin turned into a pout at the formality of the greeting. "Aw, Juu-chaaaan! We're friends! And friends aren't that formal!"

Juujikei smiled. "I suppose you're right, but I was taught to always be polite, and it's hard to just forget fifteen years of conditioning. Force of habit, and all." he always did find it ironic that he was so polite, yet he worked for the most vulgar being he'd ever met, human or demon, and he worshipped a God that demanded daily slaughter. 'This is the hand that fate has dealt me, so I must live with it.' but, with the abilities granted to him by Jashin, how long he'd be living with it was anyone's guess.

"Ooh, but we've been together for three whole years! Back when you were just a little kid!" while Juujikei had been fifteen at the time he joined the ranks of Inferno's Elite, he was very short, even for his age, back then. About four foot ten, whereas he was now six foot two. A huge, possibly unnatural growth spurt, but one that Juujikei was very grateful for.

"Be that as it may, it is still very hard for me to forego the rules of proper manners that were constantly drilled into my head throughout childhood. I'm sorry, I really am, but I can assure that, one day, my formality will be a thing of the past. But, for now, can you please accept this facet of my personality?" he accepted the many facets of her many personalities for the years that he'd known her, so there was no reason that she couldn't accept this one little thing from him.

"Ooh...Okay." Tira cracked another bright grin. "Inferno-sama's really mad, so you might wanna leave the castle. I don't think it'll take him very long to get down here. Nope, not long at all!" she was right. Once Inferno had laid everything above ground to waste, he'd move on to the basement levels and wreak even more havoc.

Another explosion rocked the castle, shaking dust and small particles of stone loose from the ceiling.

"Hm, he's getting closer." Juujikei smiled at Tira. "So, where would you like to go?" he enjoyed his outings with his teammate, she was like a sister to him...Well, she was like a lot of sisters all condensed into one being.

Sometimes she was the little kid sister, sometimes she was the mature big sister. Sometimes she was almost intolerably hyperactive, other times she was reserved and silent. Then there were yet other times where she'd cut your head off before even thinking of speaking to you. This persona didn't show itself often when she was around Juujikei, only once that he could recall, but it was still an experience he'd rather not repeat.

Tira put a finger to her chin and tapped it repeatedly while murmuring to herself. Where did she want to go? She hadn't been on a mission in a while, so she was more than ready for some fun. But what kind of fun? Drinks and karaoke, or juggling freshly-severed heads?

Fortunately for Juujikei and every other mortal being in a ten mile radius, Tira's happy-go-lucky persona was at the reins at the moment, so karaoke won out in the end.

Juujikei was quite thankful for that, as Tira was a wonderful singer...when she was sober. A drunk Tira was a tone-deaf Tira. He just had to make sure her alcohol intake was kept to a minimum before she went on stage. If he managed to do that, this would be a fun outing. She could even help him capture three more sacrifices when all was said and done.

(Kuro no Kuni)

Darkness. Pure darkness.

The denizens of Dark Country were no strangers to this, not at all, but this was different. Regardless of the sky being eternally black, they at least had their artificial light. But now, even that was gone.

The Vampires had made their move; and what a devastating move it was. It had started out with a group of seven approaching the village from the North, but they were dispatched by the watchmen easily enough. But then there were fourteen to the East, which were also dispatched, though they managed to take down one of the watch towers and kill one of the men. Then there were twenty-one to the South, four of which were actually able to break through Kuro no Kuni's defenses and kill three civilians as well as five VCU(Vampire Combat Unit)shinobi before they were stopped. But it didn't end there.

While everyone was in an uproar about what was going on, and how they seemed to be coordinating their attacks, twenty-eight Vampires appeared to the West. The watchmen only managed to take out three of them before they were killed, and the remaining twenty-five proceeded to wreak havoc within the village while the VCU and normal shinobi scrambled to track them down and take them out.

But it proved to be a fruitless exercise. Once the Vampires from the West broke through, the flood gates opened and soon there were hundreds of them flowing into the village, killing and feeding as they pleased.

They came from every direction, and Kuro no Kuni's only line of defense couldn't keep up with it all, and they were eventually overwhelmed. Out of their force of nearly three-hundred shinobi and VCU warriors, only thirty-six made it out alive, and only twelve were unharmed. Hardly enough to further combat the vampires, so they were forced to pull back into the village center; the tower.

This was where their leader, Suto, came out to meet them.

"...Is...Are you all that made it?" Suto asked, his voice shaking.

His secretary just nodded, tears welling up in her eyes and her body trembling as she noticed that her fiancé, a Squad Leader of the VCU, wasn't among the assembled survivors.

"...Kami above..." he leaned against the wall and slowly slid down until he was sitting on the floor alongside the survivors.

His thoughts, however, were along far different lines. _'Hmph, frail creatures, these humans. Can't even fight an army of parasites.' _the Dreadwraith mentally snorted in disgust, both for the humans and the vampires. He wasn't sure which species he hated the most.

'Can it, Bone Boy, they tried their best!' Suto, the real Suto, growled from within the prison that was his own mind.

_'Your point, Fleshling? It doesn't matter whether or not they tried, or how hard they fought. All that matters is that they failed, horribly. Yes, I've been to your world enough times to know all about you humans. You constantly fail, and your victories never last because you don't bother to think ahead and press on even after you've won the battle. You've fought these leeches before, yes? The humans of this village have driven them back time and again for hundreds of years, but what did they do after that? Did they press on and hunt down the survivors? Did they increase their guard and fortify their walls? Did they even increase the class sizes in their training schools? I believe the answer to all of those questions is a resounding "No".' _the Dreadwraith hissed.

'We've never had any reason to. The Vampires have always done the same thing over and over, for hundreds of years. Why should we change our tactics when they never change theirs? Ever heard of the phrase "If it ain't broke, don't fix it"?'

_'Well, I'm pretty sure it's broken now. Look at them all, just sitting there. The ones that aren't half-dead are too injured to fight, and the ones that aren't injured are too exhausted to even move. Humans, even those with "superhuman" abilities, are still human in the end. And, because of that fact, you were destined to meet this fate from the very beginning. All the times you've held them off, you were only holding off the inevitable. You should have known things wouldn't be the same forever, and you should have prepared for a change in tactics whenever it came. But no, you got complacent, just like all of your kind. You took the stupidity of the parasites for granted, and when they finally wised up, you weren't ready for it. And this is the end result; the inevitable conclusion. How does it feel? Your village is overrun by filthy leeches, your population has become a buffet, your warriors are either dead, dying or in no condition to fight, and the leeches just keep coming. They're eventually going to figure out that the remaining prey is in this tower...And, when they do, the list of things that have been torn apart tonight is going to get longer.' _the Dreadwraith always took pleasure in reminding Suto of just how powerless he, and humans in general, were when faced with threats like this.

'And what have you done, hm? You've just stood in the office, looking out the window, not bothering to lift a finger to help!'

_'What, am I supposed to care about what happens to these weaklings?'_

'You keep calling us humans "weak", yet I have seen not a single example of the strength you claim to have. All I've seen is outright cowardice. You claim the Vampires as nothing but parasites, beings far inferior to you, yet you have not bothered to back up your words with actions. You've just stood by and watched them run rampant through the village. Admit it, you don't even have a fraction of the power you claim to have, and you never did. Your excuses about having to "recharge" are just bullshit. You've always been just as weak as you are now!'

The Dreadwraith knew what Suto was trying to do, but that didn't mean he was above taking offense to it.

_'You'd do well to hold your tongue, human.'_

'Or what? You can't do anything to me, you're too _weak_. You want me to shut up? Come in here and make me. Or are you too much of a coward to take on a single "frail" human?' Suto's mind was far too alert, and his mental defenses far too powerful for the Dreadwraith to control. As long as Suto remained focused and defiant, the creature couldn't take complete control. If he could lure the monster into his mind, he could easily do away with it. While the Dreadwraith may have controlled his body, within his mind, Suto was God.

_'Do you honestly expect me to fall for that? I will invade that feeble little mind of yours in due time. Hmm...Well, well, well, isn't this an intriguing development...'_

Suto could almost _feel_ the Dreadwraith's diabolical grin. 'What are you up to, now?'

_'Me? Nothing at all...I've simply made an...interesting observation. Every human that survived the leeches' assault has fled to this tower, correct? Well, it seems as though your mate and offspring aren't present.' _

Suto's wife, Rumiko Goshingi, was a former VCU Squad Captain, but she retired when she found she was pregnant. When it was decided that they would start a family, Rumiko chose to leave the VCU so she would always be able to protect their children. You couldn't very well raise a family when both parents were in constant danger. Being in the VCU, Rumiko would be constantly called out to deal with the Vampire threat, and being a Squad Captain, she would be a primary target in any attack. Suto, being the leader of the village, had the biggest bullseye in the village on his back. Suto couldn't very well stop being the leader, so Rumiko decided to resign, leaving one of her former students in her place.

That student was killed in an ambush two days later.

In retrospect, Suto realized that he should have seen that ambush as more than just a freak, chance occurrence. He should have recognized it for what it really was: evidence that the Vampires were getting smarter.

'No...Oh, Kami, please, no.' Suto had lost yet another family to invaders. First, marauding bandits; second, two ridiculously powerful psychopaths; now, an army of Vampires.

The Dreadwraith loved every second of his host's suffering. The more sorrow he was forced to endure, the weaker his mind would become. _'Who did you piss off in a past life? Must have been someone with some powerful connections. How many families have you lost? Three?'_

'Please, don't start...Just find them...please...' by now, Suto's voice was little more than a whisper.

_'Hm? Why? So you can see their dismembered bodies?'_

'They aren't dead...I can feel it.'

_'Ah, yes, you humans and your questionable "sixth sense". Say that I do go and look for them, then what? What if you don't like what I find, hm? What if they've been turned? What if little Kentaro tries to rip your throat out? What if cute, innocent Rina wants to use you as a chewtoy? What if dear, sweet Rumiko wants to drain you dry?'_

'Rumiko can hold her own, but I don't know for how long, so please, just find them!'

_'Why? While I gain nothing from saving their lives, I have the potential to gain complete control by letting them die. Poor little Suto will be so sad and depressed that I'll be able to just waltz in and take him out like the pathetic fleshbag that he is. So why, oh, why, should I help your family?'_

'Because...If you don't, they'll know you're an imposter, and they'll never follow your orders. Just as you can look through my memories, I can look through yours, and I know that your plans require the people of this village to believe that you're me, so you can use them on your quest for revenge. So, either you help my family, or your plans will fail before they even get off the ground and you'll be left to deal with the Vampires on your own. And, no matter how much power you claim to have, your body won't last very long. Afterall, I'm "only human".' Suto had the upper hand, and now it was just a matter of keeping it.

For a second, the Dreadwraith was stumped. Try as he might to figure out a flaw in the human's logic, he could not. The fact of the matter was that he did, indeed, need the human inhabitants of Kuro no Kuni to believe that he was their leader in order for his plans to work. He couldn't afford to make mistakes or cut corners, not with a being as powerful as the Halfling whose head he was after.

_'Very well, I'll go. I still say they're dead, but what's the harm in checking? We might even get there right as the leeches are feasting on their mutilated bodies! Oh! Or, if we're lucky, we'll even get to witness them turn into parasites, then we can kill them!' _the Dreadwraith used the term "we" to drive home the point that if Suto's family had really been turned, Suto would be forced to watch them die, technically, by his own hands.

While this would have driven most men into a frenzy, Suto realized that it was a very real possibility, so he kept his cool, despite the soul-searing pain.

'Say whatever you like, Creature, but I do have one request.'

_'What? When did I say I was granting requests?'_

'If you have at least some shred of honor in you, you'll grant me this one wish. Otherwise, you're no better than the beasts you hate so much.'

That did it. The Dreadwraith couldn't stand to be lumped into the same category as those mindless animals.

_'Very well, then, Fleshling. Give me your request before I change my mind.'_

'If my family has been turned...I want you to give me control-' Suto was cutoff by the Dreadwraiths outburst.

_'Absolutely not! What kind of fool do you take me for? Such a request is an insult in itself! Just for that, your family will die, even if they did manage to escape the parasites!' _

'Let me finish, you vile, worthless sack of shit!' Suto's own outburst actually managed to silence the Dreadwraith. 'I want you to give me control so that I may send my family to their eternal rest. They do not deserve to be slaughtered by the likes of you. At the very least, just let me do it.'

Within the Dreadwraith's own mind, a battle was raging. One side of the monster was tempted to tell Suto that he wouldn't be sending his family off in peace, for their souls would have already been taken by the Vampires that fed on them. But another part of the Dreadwraith, the part that still remembered his days as a Gorogon, pushed him to honor the request of a man who might have just lost everything he loved for the third time in his life.

First, his parents and siblings were killed by marauding bandits. Then his first wife and their children had been killed for no apparent reason by the psychopaths running Amegakure, being claimed as simple "collateral damage". Now he'd lost his village, and possibly his third family, to an army of Vampires.

As a Gorogon, the Dreadwraith at been betrayed by his own wife once, but allowed his sorrow and anger to consume him, which resulted in his death. But, unlike Suto, who carried on through the pain and tried to build his life back up every time, the Gorogon had been so bitter and angry that he allowed himself to be twisted into a being that he often expressed extreme hatred for. In life, he'd hated Dreadwraiths more than any other creature; in death, be became one himself.

Even in the Shadow Realm, irony spares no one.

In the back of his mind, the Dreadwraith heard a voice that was eerily similar to his own.

"He's stronger than you ever were..."

Eventually, the Dreadwraiths fading sense of honor won out. _'Fine, human. If your wife and offspring have been corrupted by the parasites, I will allow you to slay them however you wish. We will talk about your time limit later.' _with that, the Dreadwraith returned to reality to see Sumei, Suto's secretary, shaking him and calling his name.

"Suto-sama! Suto-sama!"

"...Where...Where are they?" the Dreadwraith prepared to put on an award-worthy performance.

"Where's who, Suto-sama?" one of the few VCU still able to walk came over, concerned for the village leader.

"Rumiko, Kentaro and Rina...My family...they aren't here."

Those that heard him began to look around frantically, searching for their leader's family. But it was all in vain, they weren't in the tower.

Gendo Kireme was a young man that held many honors within the village. He was the youngest VCU Squad Captain in their history, he was the only living student of Rumiko Goshingi, the Goshingi children had named him as a part of the family, and he was also the only person other than Rumiko and Suto to defeat a Vampire Elder in one-on-one combat. But, just by looking at him, you'd never know he was held in such high regard. He was fairly average, as far as looks went. Messy black hair, cobalt-blue eyes, sort of "baby-faced"; in short, he hardly looked like a man of importance. Even his demeanor didn't betray his rank, as he walked with a casual gait and posture normally attributed with civilians.

But his records showed just what kind of man he was. To date, he'd been on fifty-two missions, none failed; had seventy-nine Vampire kills to his name, including an Elder; he'd never lost a single member of his squad; and he'd ventured into the Darklands and come back alive, something that only Suto had done before.

Gendo asked every survivor that he could find, but every answer was the same. No one had seen any trace of Suto's family.

"I...I'm sorry, sir...I'm afraid they...didn't make it." the Squad Captain bowed his head, tears actually running down his face. Rumiko had saved his life more times than he cared to count back in her days as a Squad Captain, and he had grown to admire her greatly. He had been part of Suto's personal guard when he fell ill for a week, and had quickly become friends with the man. He'd also met their children many times, and he couldn't help by smile when remembered them. 'They called me "Uncle"...' the man suddenly felt the desire to collapse into a weeping heap, but kept it together.

_'Show time.' _Suto suddenly stood up, frightening Sumei and causing her to fall flat on her ass. "No, they made it...They're still out there, and they're still alive." he looked at his remaining forces and sighed. "I'm going to find them...Any that wish to join me, and are still fit for battle, are welcome to it...But I will understand if you do not wish to accompany me. I may very well be walking to my death, and I will not order any of you to follow me into Hell."

"You don't need to order us, Suto-sama." the VCU shinobi dried his eyes and stood beside Suto. "You would give your life for us, and we will do the same for you."

Suto smiled. "Thank you, Gendo, but you don't have to do this...If I don't return, I'll need someone to run the village in my place."

Gendo's eyes widened. "S-Sir? I...No, I do have to do this." he gave a sad smile. "What kind of Uncle would I be if I didn't?"

Suto just nodded. "Is there anyone else?" to his surprise, ten other shinobi took out Soldier Pills and stood up.

"I couldn't save my own family...So maybe I can take a step towards redemption by helping you to save yours." one of the VCU members gave a weary smile; a smile that said he wasn't planning on returning from this last mission.

"We will go, as well." the nine other shinobi took up positions behind and to the side of Suto and Gendo.

Even the Dreadwraith had to bite his tongue at this display. _'A party of twelve against an army of thousands...They are either very brave, or incredibly stupid.'_

Suto smiled within his mind. 'It's a fine line.'

The Dreadwraith snorted. _'Either way, they are a credit to your race.'_

'Oh? Is that respect I hear?'

_'Remember who holds your family's fate in his hands before you mouth off again, Organ Sack.'_

'Fine, fine...Thanks.'

The Dreadwraith simply grunted. _'Don't mention it...I mean that, don't say another word about it, or I'll rape your secretary and make you watch.' _while not even a creature as vile as himself would go so far as to rape someone, but he would do something equally brutal and violent should Suto not heed his warning.

Not willing to take any chances, Suto kept quiet.

(Morning - Kumogakure no Sato)

"Ugh..." Naruto moaned as he stirred under his "bed sheet". "What...The...Fuck..." he found himself recoiling at the smell of his own breath. He tried to get up and head for the bathroom, but his body refused to cooperate, so he was forced to just lay there. "When did I take my mask off?" he mumbled to himself as he spied his mask sitting on the nightstand.

The sudden shifting in the bed alerted Naruto to another presence, one that was now firmly pressed against his back.

"Nmnzzzz..." the person then took to nibbling on Naruto's ear.

"...If you aren't a female, I'm going to kill you...Slowly." he growled out, his right eye twitching like crazy.

Something must have been wrong. There was a stranger in his bed, touching him, fucking _gnawing_ on him, yet his cloak wasn't doing a damn thing. He tried to scoot forward, but found his path blocked by yet another body.

**"My, my, haven't you been a busy boy?" **Kyuubi's voice teased from within the darkness.

Naruto looked over and saw his mate sitting in a chair in the corner of the room, her eyes glowing and an eerie smile playing on her lips.

"Kyuu-chan? What's going on?" Naruto cringed as his voice went a few octaves too high and caused his head to start pounding.

**"Oh, wow, you must have been really hammered last night...How much do you remember?"**

"Bars...Destruction...Laughing...Condoms...That's about it."

Kyuubi's smile widened into a grin. **"So, you have no real clue about what you did last night, do you?"**

"...None at all...What did I do?"

**"A little of this...a little of that." **the demoness shrugged. Oh, how she loved to toy with her mate in the morning.

"...Are these two 'This' and 'That'?"

**"Maybe."**

"...Did you at least join in?"

**"No, but now I see the appeal of pornography. It's actually a lot of fun watching others do it!"**

"Oh, Kami...Do I at least know these two?" Naruto had reason to be worried, he'd heard the stories. Getting drunk and waking up next to someone you didn't know. The often horrible aftermath. It was something that he didn't fancy dealing with, but now it looked like he would have to.

**"Of course you do. You know them...**_**inside and out**_** by now." **Kyuubi was having way too much fun with this.

"I don't like this..."

**"Aw, but you **_**loved**_** it last night, if what I saw, and heard, was anything to go by. You know, you're not nearly that loud when you're sober."**

Naruto at least had the decency to blush, even though it was barely noticeable. It was then that he realized that he had two problems. One: the girl at his back was now rubbing herself against him; and two: the action was causing his "early morning visitor" to become even more...agitated, and he was close to impaling the woman sleeping in front of him.

"Mmm...Wha?" the woman in front awoke and yawned before looking over her shoulder at Naruto. "Oh, Naruto-kun...Ready for round...sixteen so soon?"

Naruto's eyes widened when the woman rolled over to face him, a cheeky, yet predatory grin gracing her pale features.

"...Kurohane?" well, at least he was well acquainted with one of the girls he'd apparently nailed in his drunken stupor.

"That's one of the many things you called me last night, yes." the Familiar drew Naruto in for a kiss, but suddenly disengaged with a frown. "Did you eat something that was not-so-recently deceased?"

Naruto sweatdropped, while Kyuubi just laughed. "I tried to get up and brush my teeth, but not only were you blocking in the way, my body is refusing to move right now."

**"And whose fault is that?"**

"You're not helping."

**"I'm not trying to."**

The woman behind Naruto ceased her nibbling and rubbing to crawl over top of Naruto and plop herself down on him, using his entire body as heated pillow. This action caused a curtain of blonde hair to fall over Naruto's face, revealing the woman's identity.

**"Well, Hinade-chan did say the girl liked to be on top." **both Kyuubi and Kurohane giggled at Naruto's less-than-amused expression.

"This isn't funny." even though he said that, he was laughing on the inside...No, that was Nightmare.

_"You know what IS funny? The fact that your mind is so whacked right now that you don't even notice this blatant set-up!"_ Nightmare began to cackle madly. The "Great" Naruto Namikaze had failed to detect the most obvious trap ever made! Having a hangover was no excuse! Why, in his day, Nightmare had fought, and killed, a small army while suffering the end results of drinking over four gallons of alcohol!

**"Killjoy!" **Kyuubi screamed and dove back into Naruto's mind. She was pissed! She'd been up all night making up material and collaborating with Kurohane! Between the two of them, they had enough to keep the game going strong for another half an hour! But now it was all ruined by Nightmare's snitching. Needless to say, this transgression wouldn't go unpunished.

_"Shit!"_ Naruto was treated to the sounds of Nightmare rapidly retreating into the deepest reaches of his mind, with Kyuubi hot on his trail and spouting off random threats, some of which sounded like they weren't possible even for demons.

Stifling a chuckle, Naruto tried to shift out from under Yugito, but this only caused her to tighten her grip on him, wrapping her limbs around him and burying her face into the crook of his neck.

"Oh, come on!" Naruto hissed and tried to break free, but found that the girl's grip was far too strong for him in his weakened state. "A little help here?" he looked towards Kurohane, who was just laying there on her side, grinning like a fool.

"Sorry, but I'm enjoying this too much...Say 'cheese'!" quick as lightning, a camera appeared in Kurohane's hand. She snapped a photo and was gone before Naruto's eyes readjusted from the bright flash.

"...I'll get you for that." Naruto frowned as his eyebrow twitched. Oh yeah, he had plans for her now, and they involved a strong aphrodisiac and orgasm denial.

"Ohhh...Right there..." Yugito moaned and started licking Naruto's neck.

"...I'm warning you right now...Don't start what you can't finish."

Yugito's eyes fluttered open briefly, then clenched shut as she was assaulted by the headache from hell.

'WHY?' she mentally wailed, then cringed. Even thinking too loudly hurt!

**"Welcome back to Futsukayoi no Kuni."**(2)the Nibi giggled.

'Why do you say that every time?'

**"Why do you always scrrream 'why' everrry time?"**

"Having a little trouble with your hangover?" a familiar voice caused Yugito's eyes to widen as she realized she was holding onto the person who spoke.

"...Naruto?" she all but squeaked.

"...One of the many things you called me last night, yes." unlike Kurohane, this was actually true. Throughout the course of the night before they passed out, Yugito had called him many names, and he had done the same to her. It was all in good fun, but some of the people who were listening in ended up running away holding their ears, their minds forever scarred.

Yugito, of course, didn't remember the name-calling, so she took it in a different way...which was what Naruto had intended in the first place.

"Oh Kami, oh Kami, oh Kami..." Yugito quickly released Naruto and sat in the bed, rocking back and forth while chanting, her hangover forgotten.

"So, you _do_ remember last night." Naruto had trouble suppressing his laughter, as he'd never seen someone blanch and blush at the same time. It was an interesting color.

"Did...Did we really...you know..._do it_?" even though her voice was little more than a traumatized whisper, she found that she wouldn't really mind if they had. Sure, it sucked that she wouldn't remember her first time for an hour or two, and that it wasn't the gentle love-making she'd always envisioned, but she still didn't mind.

When she didn't get a response she looked over to see that Naruto was gone.

"Naruto?" she called, hoping it wasn't one of those "hit it, then quit it" cases her "friends" complained about so much.

"In here." Naruto's voice came from the bathroom, where he was currently brushing his teeth. "Sorry, I couldn't stand the taste any longer. And no, we didn't do anything, I was just messing with you...Though you did try to molest me in your sleep a couple minutes ago."

Even if she couldn't see him, Yugito could tell he was grinning. She had to resist the urge to scream "fuck you", knowing that she'd only succeed in setting herself up.

"What, no comeback?" the sound of Naruto gargling mouthwash was heard, then him spitting it into the sink. "Oh, come on! I gave you that one!" he walked back into the room while adjusting his mask. "Was sleeping with me really that bad?"

"No! I mean...Um, well...That is..." Yugito looked down and twiddled her thumbs, blushing furiously all the while. She knew she had been a little too quick to answer.

"You look forward to the next time we share a bed, and you hope that we go much further than unconscious cuddling. I know, I know, I hope so, too." Naruto's Biosuit shifted forms to his normal attire and his cloak slithered off of the bed, thoroughly surprising Yugito.

"Is everything that you wear alive?" seriously! First the cloak, now his entire outfit and his bed sheets? What next? Was his sword alive?

"No, just the cloak, really...And, even then, it's not technically 'alive', just sentient with the ability to move and change shape on its own." the "bed sheet" seemed to attach itself to Naruto before shifting into the form-fitting tailed jacket he'd been wearing the night before.

"Wait, so that thing is a cloak, a jacket, and a bed sheet?"

"Tentacle monster, multi-eyed shark thing, pretty much whatever I want. It also provides great cover and an automatic defense system. It masks my chakra, and it can take on the shape, texture, and all-around physical appearance of many inanimate objects." to demonstrate, Naruto had the jacket cover his body then form into a large rock.

"...Wow..." that was all Yugito could really say. She was less than ten feet away from him, yet his chakra signature had been dulled to little more than that of a civilian child. Even the youki from his demon was mostly suppressed. 'Maybe I should talk to him about getting one of those.' how often was it that you came across something that was genuinely useful and still looked damn cool?

"Indeed." the clock shifted back into his jacket. "I'm assuming that you're having the same problem I was, so the bathroom's all yours." Naruto didn't really need a shower, as he could literally burn the filth off of himself, but it left him smelling like barbeque, and he couldn't have that. But he decided to be a gentleman for a couple minutes and allow the lady to have the shower first.

"But what about y-?" Yugito recoiled with a yelp when Naruto's body burst into flames.

"Compared to this, showers aren't nearly as efficient." Naruto spoke over the raging flames, which then died out as quickly as they had come, leaving Naruto, quite literally, smoking.

Nodding dumbly, Yugito walked passed Naruto and into the bathroom, but not before taking a whiff of him and raising an eyebrow. "You smell like grilled pork..."

"I know...I know...Just get in there before Zabuza wakes up and sees you." the last thing either of them needed was constant ribbing from Zabuza and whomever else he would undoubtedly tell.

"...You're not a voyeur, are you?" it was a stupid question. If he was a voyeur, it wasn't like he was going to admit it.

"Yes, I am." then again, this was Naruto. "But you don't have anything to worry about from me...I need to go air myself out before I start attracting animals and/or fat people." the last time he'd done his "Fire Bath" thing, he'd ended up spending two hours being stalked around Konoha by dogs and Akimichis.

Yugito sweatdropped, not knowing whether to laugh or just chuckle nervously at the fact that Naruto didn't even bother to hide the fact that he would watch her in the shower given the chance.

"Hurry it up, before someone walks in here! You think my harmless little jokes are bad, you haven't heard anything yet. If any of them get wind of the fact that you slept in my room, in my bed, with me in it, they'll never let either of us live it down."

"What's so bad about sleeping with me?" Yugito decided to try her hand at teasing.

"Besides the fact that neither of us was awake to enjoy it, not much." Naruto shrugged, then pushed Yugito into the bathroom and closed the door behind her.

"Wait, what about clothes?" the older blonde protested.

"What about them?"

"As long as I have a choice, I'm not wearing the same outfit two days in a row!"

"You can transport yourself to your own room, correct?" a simple Body Flicker should have been sufficient to at least put her outside of her own door.

"...Yeah."

"Well, there you go. Be seein' you." Naruto didn't stick around to argue further, the barbeque smell was getting worse and it was making him hungry.

"Wait!" Yugito opened the door and poked her head out, but Naruto was already gone. With a slight growl, the girl slammed the door and stepped into the shower after checking the water temperature. Throughout it all, she failed to noticed the multitude of red eyes watching her every move from the ceiling.

About a mile away, at the cliff where he'd watched the sunset the day before, Naruto stood on the guard rail, perfectly balanced despite the fifty mile-per-hour gust he was generating to "air himself out". He suddenly started chuckling for no apparent reason, or so it would seem to anyone watching him.

'Nice...Real nice...' comparable to Kyuubi and Kurohane, that was for damn sure.

**"Yes, yes, she's got a great body, that's to be expected. But you have far more pressing matters to attend to. I'm sure you noticed that you're being watched right now." **Kyuubi said angrily, more than a little irritated at not being able to catch Nightmare. He certainly knew his way around Naruto's mind, she had to give him that.

The seal was still in effect, and barred Kyuubi from entering certain areas. Nightmare didn't have those limitations, and frequently used that fact to his advantage in order to escape from the demoness' wrath.

'Yeah, I know. I'll let them think they've got the element of surprise, for now.' judging from their pathetic attempt at hiding their chakra, they wouldn't even be a match for Naruto's Slayer Captains, so they were no real threat to the hanyou himself.

Taking an experimental sniff, Naruto found himself devoid of the flame-broiled smell and stepped off the rail, plunging off of the cliff and down to the ground nearly three-hundred feet below. He landed without so much as a grunt, or even a boot print in the dirt, and casually walked off into the village to look for a place to get a proper breakfast.

Back with Yugito, we find her just stepping out of the shower and wrapping a towel around her body. Idly fiddling with a lock of her long hair, she sighed.

"This is going to take forever to dry." now she really wished she knew Naruto's little fire trick, but that probably wouldn't help all too much. Fire wasn't exactly her specialty, and the results were normally quite disastrous when she attempted to use it. This was odd, since the Nibi's main weapon was an ability she called the "Death Flame".

While having the appearance of dark, indigo-colored fire, at the highest levels it "burned" at temperatures similar to those of liquid hydrogen, allowing it to freeze things solid almost instantaneously, and cause fourth-degree frostbite with even the slightest contact.

It was an incredibly deadly ability, and one that Yugito had yet to master. But, according to the Two-tailed Demon Lord herself, even she hadn't fully mastered the ability at the moment, and she'd been gifted with it for nearly five-thousand years.

As Yugito moved towards the bathroom door, she stopped mid-step and furrowed her brow.

"When did I take off the wrappings?" seriously, when had she? They were far too tight for them to have simply come undone while she tossed and turned at night, so someone had to have taken them off. "Was Naruto lying?...Did something really happen between us?" despite the look of dread on her face, she, once again, found herself far from repulsed at the idea of having sex with Naruto, even though they'd been at each other's throats just the day before.

Odd how things work out, eh?

"Naruto, you'd better not be on the shitter!" Zabuza's gruff and disgruntled voice was the only warning Yugito received before the door was all but knocked down as the former Mist-nin put his boot to it.

"Um..." was Yugito's enthusiastic greeting.

"..." Zabuza, to his credit, didn't say a word. He didn't even make a single sound at all, he just stood there in the doorway, staring at the still-dripping teenage girl in front of him. Strangely, not a single joke found its way into his head. No wise-ass remarks, no teasing, no taunting, no threats of blackmail, nothing at all!

Even Yugito was surprised at this, as she figured the man would be all over this new development. But there he was, with a sort of unreadable expression on his face.

"...Wait, this isn't my room!" Yugito rubbed the back of her head sheepishly, knowing full-well that this was a prime candidate for Lamest Excuse in History. "Sorry for the intrusion, I'll be on my way now!" and, with a bright flash low crack of thunder, Yugito was gone, leaving Zabuza to his own devices.

"...Anko, pay up!" Zabuza suddenly turned on his heel and shot out of the room and down the hall to Anko's.

(The Great Phoenix Forest)

Naruto had trekked a good mile into the forest, casually strolling along like he didn't have a care in the world. While something like this may have been a relaxing pastime for some, for Naruto it was quite boring, as it was for the people tailing him.

The ANBU were beginning to grow restless. One of the ANBU, wearing a boar mask, signaled his displeasure through subtle hand movements to his teammates.

"Why are we doing this again?"

Another ANBU, this one with a goat mask, signaled back, his annoyance obvious even with the silence. "Because Kuma-teichou doesn't trust him."

"Besides the obvious, jackass!" the boar-masked ANBU almost sighed in frustration. "Why does he send us after this guy when Momochi Zabuza is running the streets? In case you don't remember, he killed a whole mess of people the last time he was here!"

The goat-masked ANBU rolled his eyes, though no one could tell. "Of course I remember! Our squad was one of many that were sent out to chase him down. But the Raikage doesn't seem to have a problem with him, and I trust his judgment."

"I'm just saying."

"Yeah, I know what you're saying, and you're out of line." the goat ANBU looked at his teammate as a warning.

"Fine, I never said a word."(3)

The other three ANBU, who had kept out of the conversation, simply shook their heads and continued to stalk their quarry.

"So, how many of you worms am I gonna have to kill to get you to leave me alone, hm?" the ANBU nearly fell out of the tree they were in when a masculine voice drawled behind them. Whirling around, they saw the same guy they were tailing perched on a tree branch less than twenty feet from them.

"What? How did you-" the goat-masked ANBU's question was cutoff by another voice, identical to the first.

"I say we just kill 'em all, ask questions later." a duplicate of the man they'd been tracking now stood on a branch in front of them.

The ANBU were soon surrounded by no less than thirty clones, each one glaring at them with glowing eyes.

"I second that motion." one of the clones raised his hand, followed by twenty-nine others.

Naruto chuckled, these ANBU were far too easy to toy around with. "Looks like you guys are in deep shit. Run and die, make your choice."

One of the clones next to Naruto looked at him oddly. "Don't you mean 'run OR die'?"

"That's what I said..."

"No, you s-!" the clone was silenced by a swift smack in the face. "Sorry." the clone unconsciously rubbed the side of its face, even though it couldn't actually feel pain.

Shaking his head, Naruto turned back to the ANBU, who were surprisingly calm, though it was obvious that they were on extremely high alert.

"So, what's it gonna be? Stay, fight, and die? Or run back to your master with your tails between your legs?" Naruto wasn't interested as to their reasons for following him. He had things to do, and he couldn't do them with people tracking him, so they had to go, one way or another.

For a full three seconds, the goat-masked ANBU stared directly at Naruto, the round eyeholes in his mask boring into Naruto's eye slits. Then, with a single hand signal from their current leader, the ANBU squad disappeared in bright flash and a tremendous boom.

"...Was that thunder?" one of the clones scratched its head.

"Hm, never heard of a Lightning Body Flicker before." Naruto shrugged, he had no use for any kind of Body Flicker technique, and even if he did, he was no longer even capable of using them.

"Hey, Boss, you sure we can do this here?" N2 questioned after Naruto dismissed the rest of the clones. "I mean this isn't going to be very subtle at all...In fact, we'll be lucky not to bring Kumo's entire shinobi force down on us." with what they were about to do, they'd be lucky if it was ONLY Kumo's shinobi that came after them.

"Of course we _can_ do it here, but I believe you mean _should_ we. Honestly, I could care less. Let them come, they can't do anything. We're not doing anything wrong here, just destroying a few hundred trees, which I did earlier anyway. The Raikage didn't seem to have a problem with it then." Naruto said, cracking his neck loudly.

N2 snorted. "That's a lie and you know it. With the amount of youki that's about to be flying around, mass panic is the least of what we can expect from the villagers." even as he said this, he released the limiters that he'd put on his youki reserves to conceal it. Afterall, he didn't have a nifty sentient cloak/jacket to hide his chakra and youki.

"Right, right...This should prove more entertaining than Shadow Realm training, no?" the Shadow Realm was rather predictable, all in all. Most of the Shadow Beasts behaved like simple animals, and would flee the area when they felt huge amounts of power being unleashed, human or otherwise. Some would come looking for a fight, but ever since the Dreadwraith, not a single creature in the Shadow Realm had challenged Naruto. Of course, the Razor Bats always added a little spice to a training session, but they only offered so much entertainment.

Besides, there was just something about leveling a living forest that felt so much better than an artificial one.

N2 rolled his shoulders as he began to release his youki, which took the form of a dark orange cloud around his body.

"When the shit hits the fan, just remember that this was your idea." the clone grunted a little as the youki cloud began to condense around him. He dropped to his hands and knees, the cloud around him forming into the shape of an animal with two long ears and a tail violently whipping around behind it. Looking up at Naruto, N2 growled pushed himself back until he was resting in a crouch, ready to jump in any direction either to attack or evade. Unlike the other clones, N2 could feel pain, and he could feel the youki trying to burn off his skin.

"Hm, so you can finally access one tail's worth of power without exploding...Impressive." the last two times N2 had tried to channel that much youki, he couldn't stop it from coming out all at once, causing a massive explosion. This was a pain in more ways than one. Both times N2 had turned himself into a bomb, Naruto was less than twenty feet from him, trying to help, so he took a fair bit of damage. But this also resulted in massive youki loss that Naruto had to replenish.

Having established themselves as individuals, N2 and Akiko quickly became Naruto's favorite clones after the tremendous prank they'd helped to pull off. This resulted in them getting frequent modifications from Kyuubi and Naruto himself. While all Darkness Clones were now gifted with the ability to ingest food and drink, N2 and Akiko were, technically, living creatures. They had working organs, nerves, blood, hair, bones, muscles; everything that Naruto had, though they could still revert back to their original states in order to manipulate their bodies and change shape.

Of course, Kyuubi's youki had been used in order to bestow these gifts upon N2 and Akiko, and this fact enabled them to channel youki themselves, but neither could produce it. So it was up to Naruto to supply them with it when they ran low, but this rarely happened, as they rarely used youki for anything other than extreme training. But N2 in particular was a pain in the ass, since he was given the most youki, over a tail's worth, straight from Naruto's own reserves, and when he, literally, blew it all, Naruto had to recharge him. And while he still had three more tail's worth of youki at his fingertips, that didn't mean having an entire tail drained from him was a pleasant experience.

But now it looked like N2 had to under control, and wasn't going to blow up anytime soon.

_"Alright, now it's your turn. Remember what I taught you and you'll be able to pull the transformation off without a hitch. Every other time you've transformed, you've done it out of urgency or anger. The Soul Edge will capitalize on this and take partial control. I'm sure that, after looking back on it, you realize that you weren't in complete control the other times. You weren't thinking clearly, sometimes your body seemed to react before you even thought of what you wanted to do. Sometimes elaborate plans were suddenly stricken from your mind and replaced with the desire to use sheer brute force to solve the problem. _

_The key to avoiding this is to call on the Soul Edge's power in a state of complete calm. Acknowledge that your current powers aren't enough to handle the situation, but don't freak out. Calmly demand its power, and the Soul Edge has no choice other than to obey. You are recognized as its master, and it must comply with your orders, but that doesn't mean it won't try to take control away from you and turn you into another pawn."_ Nightmare supplied his last nuggets of wisdom and left the rest to Naruto, confident that the boy could do it on his first try.

And he did. After a few seconds of concentration, the power of the Soul Edge was brought forth in all of its genocidal majesty. Unlike the transformations before, this one did not come in a vicious, destructive burst of dark energy. This one was almost identical to N2's own stage shift. A vast increase in power in only a few seconds. Then, in a sudden burst of youki, Naruto was gone, and in his place stood the Obsidian Knight. Beside him, the Black Soul, which he'd jammed into the ground, flowed with its own power, freeing itself from the dirt and floating before its master as it morphed into its true form.

As it finished the transformation, the eye of the Soul Edge opened and shifted around, taking in the surroundings before leveling its gaze on N2, who just cocked his head to the side a little and stared back.

"...You ready?" N2 asked, his voice slightly deeper than normal.

_"Of course."_ with that, Naruto jumped to the side to avoid a Devil Claw(4) from N2, but the youki appendage quickly changed course to follow him. _"Ravaging Wave."_ Naruto swung his sword horizontally, in an almost casual manner, unleashing a large, crescent-shaped wave of energy at the oncoming claw, splitting it in two.

But the arm proved to be a simple distraction, as N2 was right in his face in a fraction of a second. Naruto found himself quickly on the defensive, unable to get any attacks in while dodging swipes and jabs from claws, chakra blades and the spear-like tail from N2's youki shield. This is where he recognized the first flaw in the Soul Edge's current form. While it made a decent shield with its size, it was almost useless against smaller, quicker opponents, especially when they managed to get close to you. And, while the closeness thing was a problem with any large sword, the problem a zanbatō presented was that it became quite cumbersome if you needed to incorporate Taijutsu into your Kenjutsu.

Naruto may have had borderline absurd physical strength in his current form, but that didn't mean constantly switching the Soul Edge from hand to hand while trying to defend against attacks was fun. But there was one more thing the massive sword was good for.

N2 grunted as the flat of the Soul Edge's blade was shoved into his face, knocking him back. Now he was at more than arm's-length, and within the zanbatō's effective range. A place he obviously didn't want to be. The clone jumped back, barely avoiding being slashed across the chest, though the tip of the sword did catch his chakra shield, cleaving through it like it was wet paper. The small gap left by the cut quickly filled in and the shield was complete again, but N2 wasn't going to try and block any sword strikes anytime soon.

Now N2 was on the defensive, but he held an agility advantage over Naruto, and he was using it to the fullest. He ducked and weaved through slash and stab attempts, even sneaking his own blows in and completely disrupting any combos Naruto tried to get going through speed gained from follow-through attacks. N2 was outmatched in terms of outright power at the moment, so he had to keep Naruto slow and stay close to keep him from using his sword effectively. But that was easier said than done, as all of N2's knowledge came from Naruto, including Taijutsu.

Naruto growled as N2 ducked a horizontal slash and he leaned back just enough to avoid a rising uppercut, but wasn't fast enough to avoid the spinning back kick follow-through, which caught him right on the chin, forcing him back.

'Dammit! I'm not fast enough with this thing!' Naruto hissed mentally.

Sensing his thoughts, the Soul Edge began another transformation, morphing into a weapon more suited to its master's Kenjutsu style.

"Oh, hell no!" N2 flung another Devil Claw at the sword, hoping to stop the transformation. But his focus on the blade left him open for an attack.

This attack came in the form of a giant black hand smashing into him with enough force to pulverize a normal human. But a human N2 was not, and he managed to stop the hand from smashing him into a tree by digging his feet into the earth as he was pushed back. The hand then closed its clawed fingers around him and began to squeeze, but he would have none of that.

With a low growl, N2 forced out the rest of his youki, causing his chakra shield to cover him like a dense suit of armor rather than a cloud. His mask cracked, then shattered, revealing his face now nothing but a black void with two blank, glowing orbs for eyes and a mouth that looked like it was better suited for a Halloween pumpkin. This was a new form for N2, and one that neither he nor Naruto had any knowledge of. But the clone wasn't complaining, as this new form allowed him to easily break the giant hand's hold, but he wanted something a little more dramatic and...devastating. After taking a deep breath, N2 unleashed a roar that completely obliterated the black hand and send a massive wave of sheer concussive force racing at Naruto.

Naruto nearly fell to his knees just from the deafening sound alone, his highly sensitive ears unable to handle it. This left him unable to defend against the actual attack, which slammed into him and carried him back through the tree line, leveling several hundred yards of forest.

N2 didn't press his attack, as he should have, instead opting to revel in the exquisite power this new transformation brought to him. He had never released all of his youki before; he typically went boom before that, so this was a completely new experience, and it was intoxicating to say the least.

'I may even be able to defeat the Boss in this form!' while he wasn't foolish enough to think he could match Naruto in his Noctis form with outright power, but he suspected that he could pull off a few tricks that would allow him to pick up the win.

Of course, Naruto had more than a few tricks up his own sleeves, one of which was about to give N2 a brutal reality check.

N2 immediately sensed that something was amiss, but didn't react fast enough to avoid the daggertail that shot out of the ground and wrapped itself around his neck. He did, however, react fast enough to stop the spike at the tip of the blade chain from plunging itself into the back of his head. N2 tried to pry the daggertail from around his neck, but it wouldn't budge. Now matter how hard he pulled, it wouldn't bend, wouldn't break, he couldn't cut it, and it wouldn't loosen. The blades hadn't been able to penetrate his youki shield, but they were quite irritating.

The transformed clone was suddenly yanked to his hands and knees as the daggertail was pulled violently from the other end, but he managed to stop himself from faceplanting. He briefly wondered what Naruto was up to, but his unspoken question was quickly answer by a massive blade pierced the earth beneath him. He quickly rolled to the side to avoid being run through, but the blade was yanked back underneath the surface, then speared through it again, following N2's movements.

The clone kept moving, but each roll cause the daggertail to coil further around his neck, limiting his mobility more and more with each passing second. The razor-sharp links also locked into each other, rendering him unable to roll in the opposite direction. Deciding on a rather risky escape plan, N2 charged a hefty amount of youki into his legs, then leapt straight into the air, ripping the daggertail and the person holding it right out of the ground.

As he gained altitude, N2 found the daggertail had loosened enough for him to unwrap it, so he did, then yanked on it with all his strength, sending Naruto flying towards him at tremendous speed.

'Gotcha!' N2 smirked, which looked downright terrifying in his current form, and unleashed another Devil Claw to slice Naruto to ribbons.

Naruto simply gazed nonchalantly, almost lazily, at the claw racing towards him, waiting until the last second to make his move. Just as the claw was less than ten feet from him, he created a small platform of air under his left foot and jumped, twisting his body and sailing right over the hand, missing one of the claws by a single inch. A corkscrew flip later, and Naruto was running along the youki arm, dodging the other, smaller arms that kept sprouting from it. Some of them couldn't be avoided, however, and that's where the newest form of the Soul Edge came in.

It was far more sleek and streamlined than its former selves, but still massive, taking the form of a gigantic katana. It was still the same near-ridiculous length of seven and a half feet, with six feet of it made up of the red and black blade. The dragon skull handguard was still present, as was the Soul Edge's trademark eye, though both were smaller than before to keep with the lighter, quicker and more precise theme. The blade itself appeared to be little more than a simple enlarged katana blade with the same youki "veins" running through it, and it appeared as though the serrations were gone, but this was not the case. While the zanbatō form looked like an oversized steak knife, this blade was more like a true saw, with very small, backwards-facing teeth. These teeth were so small that they were nearly invisible to the naked eye, and truly invisible to an untrained pair.(5)

Poison would do no good in this battle, so that nifty little feature was foregone for the moment.

As he ran along the youki arm, Naruto swung his sword from side to side in rapid succession, cutting down anything that came within range. He neared N2 and picked up speed, becoming no more than a black blur even to the clone.

Switching to a reverse grip, Naruto took a swipe at N2, but he managed to tilt his head just enough to avoid the blade. Naruto then went for a kick with his right leg, which was also avoided by a slight head tilt. Using the momentum from the first kick, Naruto rotated in the air and lashed out with left spin kick, which found its mark and nailed N2 in the jaw, knocking him away.

N2 grunted a bit as he sailed through the air, righting himself before making contact with the ground. While his shield had absorbed most of the impact, it was still something the clone would rather avoid. Something else he would rather avoid was the huge ball of white-hot flames about to crash down on him like a meteorite.

The demonized clone simply narrowed his eyes and growled. The pale white glow emanating from his mouth slowly turned dull orange as small wisps of flame shot from between his jagged teeth with every breath. Opening his mouth far wider than his jaws should have allowed, N2 produced a flaming dragon far larger than anything either he or Naruto had ever created.

The dragon opened its own maw wide, as if to catch the huge fireball coming towards it.

'Ah shit.' Naruto thought as he landed after throwing the burning sphere. He knew what was about to happen, as he'd discovered the special ability unique to "draconic" attacks a while back.

A dragon technique was capable of devouring a technique of the same element, adding that power to its own. And that's exactly what the dragon did, swallowing the fireball whole. It suddenly exploded, covering the area in white fire and burning the trees to ashes in seconds.

Within the largest plume of fire, two coal-black eyes opened and turned their gaze to Naruto. The flames began to gather and form into the distinct serpentine shape shared by all draconic techniques.

Instead of cowering in fear, or frantically trying to come up with a plan, as most would have done, Naruto grinned like a madman behind his helm.

_"Oh yeah, now we're talkin'!"_ he flew through a familiar set of demonic handseals.

N2 resisted the urge to facepalm as he saw a swirling mass of black fire spew from the vents in Naruto's helm and form into the trademark shape of a dragon technique.

'We are going to be in so much trouble when this is over...But this'll be undeniably awesome while it lasts!' pointing a clawed digit at Naruto, N2 sent his dragon rocketing forward.

Naruto also sent his dragon out, eager to witness the inevitably epic aftermath of the collision. Demonic Blackfire against supercharged Whitefire! Which would come out as the victor?

The answer: neither. As the reached one another, both dragons suddenly shot straight up and began to coil around each other like fighting snakes.

Both Naruto and N2 did little more than cock their heads to the side and watch their techniques continued to spiral upward in a towering pillar of black and white flames.

_"...Well, that was unexp-!"_ Naruto was forced to halt mid-sentence when the dragons finally blew up, clearing almost half a mile of forest.

(Raikage's Office)

We find Kyuuzou and Sarutobi just settling down after a fit of laughter caused by a picture of the Yondaime Kazekage after his youngest child, Gaara, had asked him where babies came from. The man had brought his son to a Kage meeting, obviously with the intention of showing him off, even though he denied the accusations made by the Godaime Tsuchikage.

When told that it was foolish to bring anyone below Jōnin in rank, let alone an untrained child, to a Kage meeting, the arrogant Kazekage responded by saying that there wasn't much that could harm Gaara. Of course, the assembled Kages all knew what that really meant: "Nothing I've tried has worked."

The little boy had, indeed, been dealt a horrible hand by life, but he had, albeit unknowingly, gotten some small measure of revenge by publically embarrassing his father. Gaara was never brought to a meeting again. In fact, there had only been one time that another child had been present at one of the meetings, and that was when Sarutobi had no intention of leaving a vulnerable Naruto in the village while neither he, nor his most trusted and powerful shinobi weren't there to protect him.

"I liked that boy...He was so cheerful back then. Happy, even...But now..." Sarutobi trailed off with a sigh.

"Yes. Going through your entire life surviving assassins sent by your own father...Just to be turned into a psychotic killing machine by the same man. A terrible fate indeed." Kyuuzou took a small puff from his pipe. "I can't say I wouldn't like to see how he would react to that 'Naruto' boy of yours."

Sarutobi snorted. "I never took you as one who'd enjoy a bloodbath. But you'll have to wait until April to see that."

"Why? I, as well as the other Kages and village leaders, were told that the exams were postponed because of complications within other villages that were supposed to have teams entered. But everyone seems to be in the dark as to what you mean. Even here in Kumo, where we've had to deal with an attack by Orochimaru and Akatsuki lurking around, we can still afford to send out a team of Genin and a lone Jōnin. Hell, I can afford to attend the exams myself.

Orochimaru and Akatsuki are our only real threats at the moment, and Orochimaru's probably going to be too focused on you to even bother with Kumo, and Akatsuki is after Yugito. If I take Yugito with me, they'll be forced to wait for another opportunity. So, again, why? What's going on?" really, even the villages that were in the most dire of situations, like Kiri with their constant civil wars, were more than willing to send out a few Genin and some Jōnin instructors.

Sighing heavily, Sarutobi finally divulged his reasons. "It's Uzu no Kuni."

Kyuuzou rose an eyebrow. "Whirlpool? They may have that red-haired she-devil as their leader, but, last I heard, the country itself was doing very well."

"It's not so much about their situation as it is our strained alliance with them."

"You're allies with Whirlpool?"

"Yes...Well, sort of. We're on good terms with them, but we're not what you would call 'friendly'. Their leader, the...ahem, 'red-haired she-devil' constantly demands the head of one of our finest shinobi, and we simply can't oblige, certainly not with her reasons for the demands."

The sounds of frantic knocking suddenly filled the room. "Raikage-sama! Something's happening in the forest!"

"I'm aware of that. Not to worry, it is just Hokage-dono's guards...settling a dispute." Kyuuzou had been told that there would be a lot of strange things happening while the Hokage's escorts were present, and some of them would be quite unsettling...Such as huge outpourings of demonic chakra and massive, mushroom-shaped clouds of smoke and fire. "Hm, impressive." the Raikage looked at the cloud through the windows of his office as it slowly rose higher and higher in the air.

"Oh, here comes the blast wave." Sarutobi remarked off-handedly as the entire tower shook from the force of the distant blast.

"But Raikage-sama! The chakra...It's almost the same as the Nibi's, but it's even stronger!" the shinobi outside the door continued to whine.

"Didn't I just say I was aware of it? As I said, there is no reason to be alarmed. So, if you wish to keep your rank, and your spleen, I suggest you tell the other shinobi to spread the word. Mass panic simply will not do." the agitated pounding on the door abruptly stopped and a low crack signaled the use of Kumogakure's own version of the Body Flicker.

Sarutobi chuckled. "Different village, same old shit." everytime Naruto did something, the shinobi came running to inform him...As if the most powerful ninja in the village couldn't feel the chakra or hear the explosions.

Kyuuzou rubbed his temples and grumbled, "Sometimes I wonder why I even accepted this position."

"The ignorance of the masses does get to you every now and then." Sarutobi didn't like to think of his people that way, but they had yet to give him any reason not to.

"Mm-hm. So, back to Uzu no Kuni."

"Well, as I said, Uzumaki-san wants one of Konoha's best shinobi dead. More accurately, she wants him brought to her so she can kill him herself. Her constant demands and my constant refusal are causing the delay on the Chūnin Exams, as neither of us are willing to compromise. This is a delicate situation, you see, since Whirlpool is a valuable ally, if for no reason other than their exports. If I handle this the wrong way, like starting the Chūnin exams before we've come to an agreement, the already fragile alliance between them and Konoha may be shattered." Sarutobi looked up to the ceiling. "But all that changed about a week ago." he looked back to the Raikage. "I received a letter from Uzumaki-san, stating that her three children would be participating in the Chūnin Exams, and she would accompany them as their Jōnin Sensei. I was ready to announce that the Chūnin Exams were back on at their original date, but, as he seems to love doing, Orochimaru decided to throw a monkey wrench into my plans." the old man scowled.

Really, how was it that Orochimaru managed to start trouble just in time to derail Sarutobi's plans?

Kyuuzou frowned. "Wait, how does her children being involved in the Chūnin Exams resolve anything? She wants someone's head, and since you won't give it to her, she's coming to take it herself? I'm sorry, but I'm not comprehending your logic here."

Sarutobi gave a sad smile. "She found a loophole. You see, the person she wants to kill is also participating in the Chūnin Exams...She has been training her children to kill him for most of their lives, and if they succeed in their mission during the Chūnin Exams, there will be nothing I can do. As you know, there are no rules, except in the first phase of the exam, that keep anyone from being killed. In fact, most of the competing nations encourage killing during the exams. But, in the end, you hit the nail on the head. I wouldn't give her what she wanted, so she's going to take it herself."

The Raikage nodded. "So, she's after one of your best shinobi, yet said ninja is only a Genin...She's after your Jinchuuriki?" Sarutobi only nodded. "Well, if he's the one doing that," Kyuuzou jerked his thumb over his shoulder at the dissipating mushroom cloud, "then I say 'good luck' to the she-devil."

The Hokage had to chuckle at that. "So...How does September work for you?"

"Hm? For the Chūnin Exams?"

"Yes. Do you have your teams ready?"

"Of course. Given, our Jōnin are still scrambling around with repairs and Akatsuki's presence has got them all on edge, understandably. But I believe that the two teams that were nominated are ready and waiting. None of the members on either team were injured or killed during Orochimaru's attack, and neither were their Jōnin Instructors. Any particular date set yet?"

"Hmm...How about September Twentieth?"

"That will work nicely. Gives our teams ample time to train...And, if shinobi like Naruto, Gaara, and that she-devil's kids are going to be participating, they'll need all the training they can get."

The older man nodded. "That would be wise...At least try to keep the body count to a minimum."

(Naruto vs. N2)

Neither warrior had been even slightly harmed by the explosion, and had decided to use it to their advantage, believing that their opponent would be disoriented by the blast. Imagine their surprise when they both burst through the smoke only to met in the middle of the blast zone, about to collide into one another at full speed.

'Fuck!' both combatants thought at the same time as they lashed out with their respective weapons; Naruto with his sword, and N2 with his tail.

N2's plan was to lock Naruto's sword with his tail, thus leaving him vulnerable to his claws. But he hadn't counted on the Soul Edge being able to cleave right through his youki shield. The blade sliced right through the tail and kept going, forcing N2 to abort his attack to avoid decapitation.

In that split second, N2 was then forced into defensive fighting and discovered firsthand just how much more effective the new Soul Edge was. Naruto was far quicker with his attacks now, and had no trouble switching hands in order to block or attack from a different angle.

One drawback was that the sword's blade was no longer wide enough to use as an effective shield, which N2 tried to exploit. But he soon found that the reduced size of the blade and the added agility it gave Naruto made a shield obsolete. Even the lethal accuracy and speed of the Phantom Devil Taijutsu style wasn't enough to get past his defenses. N2 had allowed his opponent to gain momentum, and if he wanted to have any chance of winning, he had to halt that momentum.

'And quick.' N2 hissed to himself as Naruto's blade sailed above his head once again, much closer this time than the last time. 'Screw it, I won't get anywhere dicking around like this.' he couldn't afford to simply duck and dodge his way to victory. Hell, there really wasn't any "victory" here, only survival, and even that would be temporary. Naruto would defeat him, there was no way around it.

But that didn't mean N2 was going to make it easy.

'I've got him now!' Naruto thought as he noticed N2 pause for a split second and took advantage of the opening with an overhead strike, planning to split the clone right down the middle.

With what could only be interpreted as an evil grin, N2 used his left arm to smack the blade aside and lashed out with his right, raking his claws across his face and leaving four gashes in his helm.

Naruto's reaction time was enough to save his eyes from being slashed out, but the attack had caught him completely off guard, effectively halting his momentum and forcing him into defense.

N2 came at him with every kind of hand-to-hand attack he knew, and more than a few that he made up on the spot. What surprised him was the fact that they were actually working! While defending against a scorpion-esque strike from N2's tail, and a kick aimed at his torso, Naruto was unable to avoid or block a vicious thrust punch straight to the chest. Bending at an odd angle to dodge a claw swipe and using his sword to block the tail, Naruto was left open and was nailed with a solid kick to his right side.

N2 was coming at Naruto from far too many angles for him to properly defend against his attacks. The result was that N2 was landing so many hits that Naruto's armor couldn't repair itself in time to keep up with the attacks. The armor was now so full of dents and gashes that it was more of a burden than anything.

Where was something else that was beginning to become a burden, as well: the Soul Edge. Under most circumstances, a weapon gave you an advantage over an unarmed opponent. But when said opponent is using a style developed to combat armed enemies, you ended up playing right into his hands. And that was the case in this battle. Naruto had created the Phantom Devil style to combat any kind of opponent, armed or unarmed.

After finally realizing this, Naruto felt about ready to kick his own ass. No wonder he was getting the pounded into paste!

He didn't have time to further dwell on it, as N2 was baring down on him, scalpel-sharp claws at the ready. Smirking, Naruto used his shadow to raise a thin wall in front of himself. It had no chance of holding up against N2, but it wasn't supposed to.

So the clone slicing it to ribbons was all part of Naruto's plan.

An armored fist crashing into his face, however, wasn't part of N2's plan.

After flipping in midair to right himself, N2 went to launch himself at Naruto and go on the attack again, but he was forced to defend against a ferocious knee attack that, otherwise, would have turned his face into a crater.

The attack had succeeded in forcing the clone back, and Naruto continued to press his advantage. This put N2 right back on the defensive...Well, evasive is more accurate. He found, after blocking a hard right straight, that attempting to outright block one of Naruto's attacks did more harm than help. Sure, it enabled him to absorb at least some of the kinetic energy, but a lot of it still came through and did its intended job.

So N2 was now faced with a problem. Either he took enough hits to gather sufficient energy to deal some decent damage, and run the risk of being put down before that would happen...Or try to evade long enough and hope for a lapse in concentration on his opponent's part.

'Yeah, fat chance.' he jerked his head to the side as Naruto's boot went whizzing by. 'Fucker!' N2 mentally raged, then snarled and chomped down on Naruto's leg.

_"...You bit me..."_ Naruto said, disbelief evident in his tone. He really didn't know what was more surprising, the fact that N2 bit him, or the fact that his teeth had managed to pierce his armor.

With a growl and an impressive display of upper body strength, N2 launched Naruto skyward, then blurred out of existence.

Naruto barely had time to even register he was in the air before N2 appeared above him to deliver a punishing double axe-handle blow to his chest, using the energy he had stored from Naruto's blows. But, before Naruto hit the ground, N2's tail wrapped around his leg and yanked him back up before the clone started to spin.

Tilting so that his body was completely horizontal, N2 continued to spin until he reached an acceptable speed, then lengthened his tail and used the momentum of his rotation to slam Naruto into the ground with enough force to create a nearly ten-foot deep crater. The impact also caused a respectable tremor that could be felt nearly a mile away.

Knowing that Naruto was down, but far from out, N2 jammed his left hand into the ground, then grunted as a strange bubble arose from his back, forming into an identical copy of himself. This copy hopped onto the original's outstretched right arm and used it as a springboard to fling itself into the air directly above Naruto temporarily incapacitated form.

Naruto growled as his armor continued to repair itself, then got to his feet, finding it a bit difficult.

_"Damn, that last attack really did a number on me."_ that was a bit of un understatement. The double axe-handle had nearly crushed his entire torso, and if not for his armor, the tail-slam would have pulverized him.

The ground beneath him began to rumble, but he didn't react in time to avoid N2's Devil Claw as it suddenly exploded from the ground and latched onto him and shot into the air.

The N2 copy also launched its own Devil Claw, executing N2's plan to crush Naruto between the two attacks.

As both demonic techniques neared one another, the one holding Naruto released its grip, allowing the severe G-forces to keep him "stuck" on the open palm. The other curled into a fist and gained even more speed as he came down like a meteor.

On the ground, N2 could barely believe what he was seeing.

'Holy shit, I'm gonna win! There's no way, absolutely no way, that he's gonna be able to fight after this!' it was passed the point of no return, and the attack was going to connect, no two ways about it.

And connect it did, with a resounding boom not unlike that of a large bomb. There wasn't much that could even survive something like that, let alone continue fighting at anything even approaching full strength. So, if he didn't outright beat Naruto, N2 was at least guaranteed to have injured him enough to make winning a relatively simple task...Right?

'Of course...Not even he can just snap right back up after something like that...Demon or not, he still has his limits. And speaking of limits, I've been in this form for a while...I don't think I'll be able to hold out much longer.' he could feel himself weakening, but judged that he could hold onto his current form for at least another ten minutes...That was, unless Naruto still had some fight left in him.

But having a sizable portion of his youki missing in the form of his copy wouldn't help matters at all, so N2 recalled the energy, which flowed back into him in the form of a cloud of luminous, orange gas that he inhaled.

Upon finishing, he looked around and growled softly. 'Something's not right...' he couldn't quite put his finger on it, but something just seemed off. He looked down and saw that his shadow was darker than normal...and two glowing, red eyes were gazing back up at him. 'Fuck.'

_"Rising Dragon!"_ Naruto launched out of his clone's shadow to deliver devastating spiral uppercut that launched N2 well over fifty feet in the air. As his opponent descended, Naruto formed a Rasengan in his hand, then did something odd: he tossed it, allowing it to roll across the ground towards N2's landing zone.

The demonic clone crashed to the ground, his head pounding and his jaw sore. 'Okay, that hurt.' he turned his head to the side just in time to see the glowing sphere roll to a stop right next to him. His eyes widened as he saw a single chakra string shine brightly, then fade. 'Fuck!' the ball exploded, sending N2 flying.

Naruto chuckled as he watched the body of his clone tumbling along the ground. _"Rasen Tekidan."_(6) he then shot off after N2, tearing up the ground even more along his path.

N2 ceased rolling and crouched on all-fours, growling angrily. 'My own shadow! Dammit, I should have seen that one coming.' he remembered one of Naruto's sayings and resisted the urge to punch himself in the forehead. 'The one shadow no man is ever suspicious of: his own.'

_"Incoming!"_ Naruto let out a demented cackle as he closed the distance between himself and N2 and dealt out a powerful right hook that had the clone reeling. After creating five Darkness Clones, each charged with youki, Naruto started up a little game of "Hot Potato".

N2 was swatted, juggled, and thrown around all over the place, always meeting a clone that would dish out more punishment before kicking him to the next clone. An experienced shinobi that watched the "game" would have noticed that N2 was, at times, in prime position to take out the clones he was thrown to. Said shinobi would also notice that, even with all the blows he was taking, N2 didn't seem terribly concerned or in pain. In fact, he didn't even so much as grunt when he was hit, he just took each punch and/or kick as it came and allowed himself to be tossed around like a ragdoll.

He finally came to a stop as two of the clones caught him and held onto his arms while multiple tendrils of Darkness held his legs to the ground and kept his tail under control.

_"He's all yours, Boss."_ the two clones chorused with low giggles of devious glee.

Naruto tapped his chin, the claws on his gauntlets making metallic clinking noises as they contacted the lower portion of his helm.

_"Hmm...Take him up."_ Naruto backed up a bit and jerked his thumb upward.

The clones nodded and the tendrils released N2 as they jumped and dragged him high into the air.

As they ascended, Naruto held out his right hand and gathered his youki within it, willing the wild, chaotic energy into the form of a large, dark purple ball with a crimson core. This was the strongest form of the Rasengan that, to Naruto's knowledge, had ever been created.

In the air, the clones began to plummet, intent on dragging N2 right into Naruto's attack.

But the "Kyuubified" clone suddenly roared and spikes shot out of his body, skewering both of the other clones and causing them to dissolve. Now N2 was left to his own devices, but he didn't change his course. He kept on heading straight at Naruto, seeing his attack, but not caring one bit.

'At least I'll get some measure of payback.' N2 thought as he tensed his right arm and balled his hand into a fist as it began to glow with a feint yellow aura.

Naruto grinned behind his helm, eager to shove the tremendously destructive sphere right down N2's throat.

Both warriors cocked their right arms back, then drove them forward, right into the faces of their opponents.

N2, with a roar worthy of a Demon Lord, drove his fist, charged with the energy he had absorbed from the clones and Naruto's assault combined with what remained of his own youki, right into Naruto's forehead.

Naruto, with a battle cry that would make even a God flinch, drove his Akuma Kyuutai Rasengan into N2's forehead at the exact same time the clone's supercharged fist crashed into his.

Naruto ended up behind driven deep into the ground while N2 was obliterated by the ridiculously powerful explosion from Naruto's technique.

'Now THAT was fun!' N2 thought before being completely annihilated and absorbed back into Naruto's body.

'It's been a long time since I've enjoyed training this much!' Naruto thought before his world was lost in a blinding flash of light and he slipped into a blissful unconsciousness.

XXXX

And there it is.

This is roughly half of what I had planned for this chapter, but you probably would have had to wait another month had I kept going. So, after consulting a few friends, I decided to just put out what I had.

I hope you all noticed the surprise in this chapter. I originally planned on implementing it in a far different way, but that had to be scrapped because it would have taken too long.

Also, I felt that the fight between Naruto and N2 wasn't really up to par, so I'd like some feedback on that. I chose the hand-to-hand aspect of it because I noticed that Naruto has used his sword to take care of every enemy thus far, so I thought I'd change it up a bit. But I didn't want to reveal too many of Naruto's tricks, as I plan on revealing a few new things with every battle. But maybe I held back too much with this fight. I'm kinda iffy about it, so tell me what you think.

As you may have noticed, the first part of this chapter was basically just telling what the "Bad Guys" were up to while Naruto and Friends were causing a ruckus in Kumogakure.

(1) For those that don't know, a Dōzuki is a Japanese backsaw, known for its cleaner cuts when compared to Western-style saws.

(2) Hangover Country. Population: You tell me.

(3) Of course, a conversation carried out through ANBU signals isn't nearly this complete, but writing in Broken English isn't really my thing.

(4) As far as I know, the youki arm attack doesn't have a name, so I just went with something basic and to the point.

(5) If you want to get a better idea of the size of the sword, Google some images for katanas from the Monster Hunter games.

(6) Spiral Grenade: as the name suggests, this is an explosive attack that requires a Rasengan to be thrown, with a chakra string attached to control stability, at the opponent(s). When the chakra string is severed, it has the same effect as pulling the pin on a hand grenade, except the reaction is instantaneous.

I don't believe there's anything else, but if you think there's something I missed, feel free to tell me in your reviews.

As usual, all questions(that are within reason)will be answered to the best of my abilities.

Once again, I apologies for the long wait, but I can't say it won't happen again.

Jason Out!


	31. Important Message: NOT A CHAPTER!

Hey there, folks! Jason, here, and no, I'm not dead! Sorry to anyone who lost any money because of that...

Anywho, I'm just here ask you a couple questions.

One:

Should I just give in and put out what I have so far concerning the next chapter of Black Flames? Seriously, it's only about a third of the way done, but it's still over 20,000 words(it might've even cleared 30k by now), so it could make a decent chapter by itself.

Life's been shitting on me at virtually every turn. Very little is going according to plan. Hell, the only think it recent memory that's got off without a hitch was the delivery of my new 2009 Cadillac CTS-V(one of the few high-performance cars I can fit in). However, I know realise that that was quite a retarded move on my part. You see, it's going to be Winter very soon, and we don't have pleasant Winters in Pennsylvania. I've only got one vehicle that can handle the snow and ice sufficiently, the aptly-named Avalanche...So, guess who's going into the garage for a few months! Well, at least my black beauty(the Caddy's Raven Black with the Ebony interior)won't be lonely, seeing as how one of my friends recently bought a Dodge Challenger(no, he's not going through a midlife crisis, and no, he doesn't have a mullet...He's just a big fan of Vanishing Point and couldn't get his hands on any 70's Challengers).

But, as I said, that's about the only thing that's gone according to plan. Unfortunately, that plan wasn't very good to begin with, so now I'm back to square one and right in the middle of Shitville; population: Me, and anyone else who feels like they should be floating in a septic tank.

Of course, I won't go into details. I'll just say that's it's mostly been family issues, and leave it at that.

For my second question, I'd like to ask you all: Should I make a forum/community, or something, specifically for "progress" updates, like this one? I know it's against the site rules to have these things as chapters in a story, but no one else gets slammed for it, so...

But rest assured, this will not remain here for long. As soon as I get enough people requesting the incomplete version of Chapter 31, I'll delete this little message and replace it with that.

Right now, I've got no idea what to do with this. I know it's going to take another month, at least, to finish up this chapter in its entirety, but it just doesn't feel right to keep you all waiting that much longer without at least a "little" something to tide you over until things get back on track.

Just leave a "review" or send me a PM and tell me what you guys want. Do you want a little "somethin'-somethin'" now, or can you wait a month(at least)to get the whole thing? If you do want it, then I'll take a day or two for quality control, then I'll put it out.

I'm not sure if "reviews" for this message will still be added to the overall review count of the story once I delete this false chapter, but if they do, so what. Though, I did this for the original Tamer of the Hazard, and the reviews for the two useless chapters I took out seem to have gone away. If anyone out there has any experience with this, I'd appreciate some first-hand info.

Well, I guess that about covers it. If there are any other concerns any of you have, feel free to send me a PM, or just mention it in your "reviews". I'll get 'em either way, and I'll do my best to get back to you with the answers you seek(answers to questions within reason, as usual).

As for Tamer of the Hazard and Tamer of the Night, all of my writing time goes into Black Flames right now, so consider my Digimon fics to be on an indefinite hiatus. There will be no discontinuing(I've got far too much planned to even think of stopping them here), but until the fate of Chapter 31 of Black Flames is decided, I won't be working on either of the Digimon stories. At least, not any real work. I may write a bit of stuff here and there when the inspiration strikes me, but nothing really serious.

That's it, so I guess I'll see ya' when I see ya'!

Jason Out!


	32. Step Into My Parlor

Well, here I am, folks! Did you miss me?

I wanted to open this thing up with something witty and funny, but nothing really comes to mind.

I also wanted to do something else, and that's thank you all for your support. After such a long hiatus, I thought people would've forgotten about this story, and some of you confessed that you did(at least you were honest about it). But when I posted the message and asked you what you wanted, the response was overwhelming, especially considering what I was expecting.

Most of you were willing to wait longer still for the next chapter of Black Flames, and so I went ahead and got to work on what was sure to become my longest chapter yet. However, things have been far from easy, as I've told quite a few of you in my responses to your reviews and PMs. The bullshit just kept piling up, and I wasn't getting anything done. Then, after actually going through what I had, I realized that a LOT of it was...I don't really know how to describe it other than it just didn't look right to me.

By wordcount, I had nearly 60k worth of stuff. But, after going through and taking out what felt "wrong", I ended up with something just over 30k. Some of the stuff I took out, I'm keeping in "Idea Files" for later use, as it was still too good to completely let go, even if it didn't quite fit with what I wanted for this particular chapter. But I did just outright delete quite a bit, and I've been reworking things from there.

Then came yet another roadblock. As has happened several times in the past, the "Idea Factory" went into overdrive and wave after wave of new concepts just came pouring in. This time, though, most of it was actually spectacular, and I kept it. Some of it has been put in the Idea files, and more than a bit of it found its way into the story. But it was a double-edged sword, as is often the case. While it did provide me with several new ideas for the story, sifting through it all and figuring out how to implement it caused some serious delays, which is the reason for today's update.

You see, I had planned on ending this massive chapter with a huge fight scene, which in and of itself would probably make a decent-sized chapter. But, with the sudden surge of inspiration, I found myself adding more and more stuff, yet never really getting any closer to finishing the chapter the way I'd planned. The treadmill analogy is perfect here. Even if you feel like you've run a marathon, once you stop running, you're still in your living room. I felt like I had done a lot, but I hadn't really gotten anywhere.

And that brings us to the present, and this update. Even though the majority vote was in favor of the HUGE chapter in its entirety, at this point, I feel like I can't ask you to wait any longer than you have. For those of you that have spoken to me before, and have asked for advice on writing, I know I've frequently said that we, as fanfiction authors, don't actually owe the readers anything. They haven't made us rich by buying our stories, or anything, so we're not obligated to cater to them. However, in this case, I told the readers that I was going to do something, and I asked them if they'd be willing to wait for it. They agreed(for the most part), and I am obligated to keep my word. Maybe others would see this kind of situation in a different light, but that's just the kind of guy I am.

It will take me at LEAST another week to finish the fight scene, but since I can't even begin to guarantee that, I've decided to post half of the chapter today. Hopefully, the other half will be ready within a week, but even if it is, I'll probably give it two weeks before another update. This will give me more time to start work on my Digimon stories again.

Well, that's it. I don't want to keep you from the story any longer(hell, a lot of you will probably skip over this anyway). But there is one final note. Since I'm still kinda confused on what will happen to the reviews if I delete the message and replace it with this chapter, I've decided to just leave the message and post this as Chapter 32. But, it's still officially Chapter 31.

Once again, I think you all for being so patient, and I hope you all enjoy this.

So, without further ado, I present Chapter Thirty-one of Black Flames Dance In The Wind: Rise of Naruto!

XXXX

(Mindscape)

Naruto awoke to the sight of both Kyuubi and Nightmare hovering over him.

_"And so, he awakens. Have fun out there?"_ of course, it was a rhetorical question. Nightmare himself had a blast just watching it unfold through Naruto's eyes, and he was still connected to the Soul Edge, giving him the ability to sense the boy's emotions. However, due to his weakening connection with the sword, he only got a relatively small taste of the utter joy that consumed Naruto while he fought his most powerful double. Even though Naruto had deliberately limited himself, that didn't lessen the incredible thrill of fighting a worthy opponent.

"...Loads." Naruto took the hand offered by Nightmare and was pulled to his feet.

Kyuubi just smiled at the face-splitting grin she knew was hiding beneath Naruto's mask. **"I'm sure. But don't you think that was a bit...over the top?"**

Both Naruto and Nightmare turned to the demoness and cocked their heads to the side in confusion.

"'Over...the...top'?" Naruto sounded the phrase out, as if he'd never heard it before.

_"...What's that mean?"_ Nightmare scratched the side of his helm.

**"...It means that you went too far." **Kyuubi's left eye twitched a little.

"..."

_"..."_

**"You know, excessive?" **

_"Okay, now you're just making up words."_

"Do you have a dictionary for your ridiculous and nonsensical terms?" Naruto questioned.

Kyuubi's right eye twitched, but so did the right corner of her mouth, forming a slight smirk.

**"Sure, it's right here!" **Kyuubi reached behind her back and produced a large and quite intimidating book, which was then used to smack Naruto across the face with enough force to torque his head a full one-hundred and eighty degrees.(1)

"...I walked right into that, didn't I?"

_"Uh-huh."_ came Nightmare's reply, accompanied by a nod.

**"Now, are you two going to stop acting stupid...Naruto, are you going to stop **_**acting**_** stupid, or am I gonna have to smack some more of your brain cells back into place?" **

As Naruto twisted his head back into its correct position, the cogs within Nightmare's mind appeared to be turning quite slowly.

_"...I resent that remark."_ the demon said as he finally realized he'd been insulted.

"Why? Seems pretty spot-on to me." Naruto shrugged.

_"Eat shit and choke."_

"No, that doesn't sound very appealing."

Kyuubi giggled and shook her head. **"You two are idiots, you know that?"**

_"You know you love us."_

**"No, I love him." **Kyuubi wrapped her arms around Naruto's neck and rubbed her cheek against his. **"You, I just tolerate."**

_"...You really know how to hurt a guy, don't you?"_ before Nightmare could even register Kyuubi's movement, the demoness had planted her boot-clad foot right into the knight's crotch with enough force to lift him a good two feet off the ground. Nightmare's armor may have been strong, but it was no match for Kyuubi, and it buckled before her mighty foot, with the demon himself following soon after.

Even Naruto let out a small, pained grunt as his right hand flew to his own crotch.

Between his groans of intense pain, Nightmare managed to squeak out a single question, _"...I...walked right into that...didn't I?"_

"Mm-hm..." Naruto nodded, his own legs about ready to give in from what he'd just witnessed. He'd seen men get their "baskets" rocked before, but never to this degree. Naruto was fairly certain that Nightmare's testicles now resided somewhere in his chest cavity.

**"Aww, what's wrong, Naru-chan?" **Kyuubi poked Naruto's cheek.

"...Dirty move..." of course, Naruto knew that the words "dirty" and "fair" had very little meaning in a ninja's life, especially his.

**"All's fair in love, war, and hurting people who deserve it. You know that."**

"Yeah...But couldn't you have just...cut his head off, or set him on fire, or something?" Naruto could speak normally now, but he still felt an unpleasant tingling in his nether region.

**"I suppose I could've, but you have to admit that what I did was both faster and more effective than anything else. And don't deny it, your reaction speaks for itself."**

"..." Naruto didn't reply, he just took one look at Nightmare curled into a ball on the floor, then walked away without a word.

**"Aww, don't be that way, Naru-chan!" **Kyuubi pouted as she skipped after her mate.

_"...Don't mind me...I'll just...lay here for a bit longer..."_ how could something possibly hurt this much?! Given, Nightmare had been kicked in the nads hundreds of times in last-ditch efforts by his victims, but none of them had been nearly strong enough to render his armor completely ineffective.

Then again, Nightmare had never met a single being that outmatched him as thoroughly as Kyuubi did.

_"Okay...Okay, I think I can get up..."_ Nightmare struggled against his body's protests and managed to get into a kneeling position. But, as soon as he tried to stand, intense pain and a wave of nausea forced him to fall over to his side again. _"...Or not..."_

Meanwhile, Kyuubi frowned as she walked alongside Naruto, her arm draped across his shoulders. The boy had been eerily silent ever since they left Nightmare, and it was quite disconcerting to the demoness.

**"Naruto..." **Kyuubi started as she halted his advance by stopping her own. **"Was it really that bad for you?"**

"...It was a sight I could've done without." Naruto admitted.

Kyuubi sighed, then adopted a malicious grin and stared at her mate with a sadistic gleam in her eye that could mean only one thing: Training.

**"It looks like the ultimate male weakness still plagues you, Naru-chan...I think it's time we rid you of it, don't you agree?" **

Naruto started to sweat behind his mask and began to slowly back away. "It's really not that big of a deal, really..."

But Kyuubi was having none of it. Training would commence, no matter what Naruto said or did...And it would hurt...a lot. While Kyuubi's mental training actually yielded very little in the way of physical results, it did do wonders for Naruto's understanding of battle tactics and his pain threshold. It taught him how to focus on an objective, formulate a plan, and fight through even the most intense forms of agony.

**"If you react that way just from seeing it happen to someone else, I can only imagine how vulnerable you would be if it happened to you...You call potentially fatal vulnerability 'not that big of a deal'? Maybe I haven't been strict enough in my training..." **Kyuubi's grin widened.

"But...I thought you loved me?" it was a low and, quite frankly, pathetic attempt to get out of what was sure to be his most painful training experience yet. But, at the moment, Naruto couldn't care less.

Kyuubi placed her hands on Naruto's shoulders, gripping them firmly and silently telling Naruto that there was no escape.

**"I do, Naruto-koi, I really do...Which is why it also pains me to do this to you, but you'll thank me later...You always do." **Kyuubi drew Naruto in for a hug to keep him grounded while her right knee shot up between his legs with incredible force...

Nightmare cringed when a blood-curdling scream shattered the peaceful silence of Naruto's mind. The demonic knight, now standing, albeit shakily, using the wall for support, then burst out laughing. Unfortunately, his abused orbs quickly reminded him that he had nothing to laugh about.

_"Fuck!"_ Nightmare hissed as his hand flew from the wall to his crotch, leaving him unbalanced and causing him to fall over again.

Well, at least Nightmare only had to take one shot. His student, however, would have to endure repeated shots for hours on end.

The mere thought of it made Nightmare chuckle.

Speaking of students...

(Konohagakure no Sato)

"Has anyone found that fuckin' cat yet?" Kiba growled into his radio, Akamaru giving a low growl of his own at the mere mention of anything feline.

"Language, Kiba-kun." Hinata scolded her teammate lightly.

"Yes, Kiba-kun, mind your manners." Kurenai said with a sigh. She didn't want to be here, either, but she had no choice. Really, very few ninja did.

When the Hokage ventured away from the village, the stronger shinobi of the village were forbidden to leave, unless accompanying the Hokage or having already been slated for a mission before the Hokage's departure. Asuma was lucky, he was out with his team on a C-Class mission that they'd received just hours before the Hokage left.

"I'm just sayin' what we're all thinkin'." Kiba shrugged, then looked over at Akamaru as the dog jumped onto his shoulder. "Nothin'?"(2)

The dog simply whimpered and shook his head.

Kiba gave a frustrated sigh. "It's gonna be a loooong day."

Akamaru barked in agreement, just slightly less thrilled about the situation than his master/partner. Now they were stuck wandering the village, looking for a _cat_, _again_. And, just like the last four times, they couldn't harm the cat. Akamaru, for one, thought that a good mauling would make the cat think twice before leaving its home again.

For this mission, Team Eight had split up, with each member, sensei included, taking one of the cardinal directions to search. Kiba had chosen the East, since his clan's compound was in that area and he knew it well. Shino had chosen the West, though not for the same reasons as Kiba, even though his Clanhome was located in that region(3). Kurenai had picked the North, though she gave no particular reason for her choice. This left Hinata with the South, an area that she actually knew rather well because of Anko and Naruto.

Kiba grunted as he looked down at the streets from his position atop a two-story building.

"From past experience, I'd say Shino has the best chance of findin' that cat." there was a rather large park to the West, which was only separated from the forest by the village wall. This was the forest that Tora was found in eighty percent of the time when he ran away. "Well, there's also the Forest of Death to the South...But even a cat ain't dumb enough to go there."

Akamaru barked in agreement, a wide smile splitting his muzzle.

(With Shino)

The Aburame heir had arrived at his destination, the park, three minutes ago, and had been thoroughly checking every tree ever since. But he wasn't looking for a cat, or anything mammalian, for that matter. Oh no, he was here to find a rare species of insect that had recently been spotted in the area. A beetle, to be precise.

"Yo, Shino, you find anything?" Kiba's voice came over the communicator.

Shino brought his hand up to press the button clipped to his collar that would enable him to speak to his teammate.

"No, nothing yet." Shino had nearly forgotten about the cat, which was the reason he was _supposed_ there in the first place.

"Huh...I figured you'd have the best chance of findin' the damn fleabag."

"Given that the feline frequents this area, I would be inclined to agree with you...Unfortunately, I've found no trace of it...Not so much as a hair." as he said this, Shino carefully chipped a piece of bark off of a tree, then rose an eyebrow when he found a green, dome-like structure under it.

"Great." Kiba grunted. "Well, there ain't nothin' in the Eastern sector."

"Which is what you were counting on, right?" Shino inquired as he sat the piece of bark down on a nearby picnic table and proceeded to poke and prod at it with a small twig.

"...I don't know what you're talkin' about..."

"You're a bad liar, Kiba-san. You know as well as I do that you chose to take the East because the feline would never be found within two miles of your home." Shino took out a kunai and began to cut the dome open slowly. He didn't want to harm what was inside.

"...Well, yeah...But Kurenai-sensei don't know that!" Kiba laughed.

Shino stopped cutting for a second, then shook his head and resumed. "Kiba-san..."

"Yeah?"

"I never changed the frequency on my communicator..."

"So?"

"That means that both of our communicators are on the same frequency as everyone else's..."

"I don't...Oh crap."

"Indeed. I find it highly improbable that Kurenai-sensei missed anything you just said."

"And you'd be right, Shino-kun." Kurenai's suddenly entered the conversation and caused Kiba to yelp, which nearly caused Shino to impale his quarry.

"...Could you please refrain from making such loud noises in the future, Kiba-san?...You may alert the feline to my presence if it is in this area." one false move with this beetle and Shino would be in a world of hurt. It was bright purple for a damn good reason.

"Yes, Kiba-kun, I would advise you to keep your mouth shut...especially since you'll be helping Shino-kun." Shino stiffened a bit at his sensei's words. The last thing he needed was another potential victim; one without the benefit of venom-neutralizing insects within his body.

"But sensei-" Kiba began, but was cutoff by a low growl from Kurenai.

"Move it." oh yes, the ruby-eyed Jōnin was NOT in a good mood today.

"Yes'm...I mean, right away, sensei! Come on, Akamaru!" a distant bark from the small dog was heard.

"...Shino-kun..." Kurenai began, though she still sounded quite angry. "Are you really searching for the cat? Or are you dicking around like your teammate?"

Shino found himself beginning to sweat. Kurenai rarely used any kind of word that could be considered vulgar around her students, but when she was truly angered, she'd be far less polite.

"Of course, sensei." the Aburame replied as he finally managed to cut away the resin dome and reveal the entire insect underneath it. "Beautiful..." Shino muttered, making sure that his finger wasn't still on the button.

"...Yes, it is quite pretty..." Kurenai's voice once again pierced the peaceful silence of the park, though it wasn't through a communicator. "Is it dangerous?"

Shino was now sweating bullets. "...Extremely." this particular beetle had two very large, very sharp and very strong pincers on its head, as it was a subspecies of stag beetle.

These pincers were hollow, containing a tube that ran into two small venom sacs. Inside of these sacs was an extremely potent neurotoxin that had yet to be properly identified. All that was known as that it was about two-hundred times more powerful than potassium cyanide, and could cause death in as little as five minutes. This was the reason for the beetle's neon-purple coloring. As was often nature's way, this beetle evolved to stand out in a crowd, letting everything around it know that, should they mess with it, they'd be getting FAR more than they bargained for.(4)

To date, only a select few clans in all of the elemental nations could handle the creature with minimal risk, and the Aburame were one of them. With the insects housed within their bodies easily able to nullify almost any toxin, an Aburame would be in extreme pain should they get on the beetle's bad side, but they stood little chance of dying.

"Then put it in a jar and get off your ass...Kiba's going to be here in a few minutes, and I don't want him or his dog nosing around something like that." Kurenai sounded like she would explode at the slightest provocation, so Shino heeded her words without question.

While he devoted his full attention to the task of capturing the beetle without incident, in the back of his mind, a single thought lingered.

'...Wasn't Kurenai-sensei supposed to be searching up North?'

(With Hinata)

The Hyūga heiress sighed as she heard Kiba and Shino's conversation. Was she the only one actually doing her job? She'd heard Shino talking about some rare bug that had been seen in the park to the West, and when he immediately volunteered to patrol that area, Hinata knew he wouldn't be looking for the cat. She also knew Kiba would be slacking off, even before her heard him through the communicator. And Kurenai...Well, in the history of Lady Shijimi's cats running away, they had never been found in the Northern sector of Konoha.

Hinata didn't believe, for even a second, that her sensei wasn't aware of that.

"Why does it seem like I'm the only one doing my job?" Hinata grumbled. "Maybe if I had been chosen to be on Naruto-sama's team, I would..." the girl shook her head and groaned a bit.

She'd done it again, referring to Naruto as if he were her master. Well, at least she hadn't actually dubbed him "Master" this time. This had been going on for a while. In fact, ever since her release from the hospital, she'd refer to Naruto as "Naruto-sama" or "Master" at random intervals. To be honest, she found it quite terrifying. While she didn't know why, she knew Naruto was far from popular in the village. To merely be seen with him generated whispers and odd looks from the population, and Hinata figured that calling him "Master" in public would only cause trouble. What would her father think? Scarier still, what would he do?

She may have loved her father dearly, and respected him as a very powerful figure, both politically and physically, but she knew he was no match for Naruto(5). Thus, should Hiashi flip his lid, she could look to her sensei/crush for support and, if need be, protection. But, Naruto wouldn't always be there. He was powerful, immensely so, but that didn't help when he was several miles away, possibly even in another country. And it was because of his power that Hinata knew that he'd probably be gone far more frequently, and for far longer, than in days past.

Just like Kurenai had requested Naruto be transferred to her team for a mission, so too would others come and request his assistance. It was his own fault for being too good at...well, pretty much everything.

"...Stupid Master, leaving me alone like this...!" Hinata grabbed her head and groaned. 'I did it again! First the "Inner Me", now this? I really am going crazy!'

The girl was suddenly ripped from her contemplations of insanity by a soft mewling noise. Looking to her right, she noticed that she was at the entrance to the Forest of Death. How she'd wandered as far South as this, Hinata didn't know, but that wasn't on her mind at the moment. She was completely focused on the white and brown-furred cat that was currently sitting just inside the entrance, behind the huge fence that separated the forest from the rest of the village(6).

"...C'mere, kitty...I won't hurt you." Hinata called to the cat, using the gentlest tone possible. That last thing she needed was to frighten the cat and make it run away. If it ran into the forest, it was as good as dead.

"It should already be dead." Hinata's "Inner Self" decided to speak up, making the girl flinch a little at the unexpected input.

'Go away! The quicker I get this cat, the quicker I can get back to training!' while both Anko and Naruto were off on missions, that didn't mean she could slack off...She'd be punished for that...By both of them.

Even Inner Hinata shuddered at the thought. "True...But wait, Naruto-sama hates that cat with a passion...If we kill it, he'll probably reward us for it!"

Inner Hinata did have a point. Hinata knew, from personal experience, that Naruto absolutely _despised_ Tora the Cat. If she killed it...Well, there'd be one of two outcomes. Naruto may, as Inner Hinata said, reward them for removing one of the banes of his existence. On the other hand, he may also be angered by her denying him the pleasure of doing it himself...And an angry Naruto, no matter if it was only mild anger, was anything but good.

'Hold on...What if we _capture_ the cat...But say that we didn't? We lock it in a cage, or something, until Naruto gets back...Then we give it to him as a welcome back gift!' Hinata's eyes widened when she realized that she'd actually acknowledged her Inner Self as a real and separate entity by using the word "we".

"Now you're speaking my language! Go for it!" Inner Hinata cheered and produced a giggle that just dripped with sadistic glee.

It was like a switch was flipped in Hinata's mind. Gone was the shy, timid girl that made a hobby out of stalking what was possibly the single most dangerous being in all of Hi no Kuni. In her place was a cunning, ruthless, diabolical little girl that would stop at nothing to get what she wanted.

Tora seemed to sense this change, as he immediately stopped cleaning himself and dashed into the forest.

Daggers out, Hinata was on the cat's tail in a fraction of a second. Slicing a hole in the fence, Hinata silently ran after the cat. The thought of capturing it and presenting it to Naruto upon his return was the only one in her head at the time. She didn't stop to contemplate exactly _how _she'd managed to slice through the thick titanium alloy mesh of the fence with such little effort.

However, she did notice that her skin was beginning to itch like crazy. But she just attributed it to some kind of mild allergic reaction. She knew there were several plants in the forest that caused her skin to itch, most of them flowering plants. There were none that close to the entrance, but with a good wind, who knew how far spores could travel.

One problem solved, at least in her mind, Hinata pushed on, focused only on Tora and ignoring everything else around her. This meant she didn't notice the various signs she'd passed, warning her of the increasing danger as she ventured further into the forest. Now she was well beyond what could be considered a "safe zone" for someone of her level.

The Forest of Death's A-Class sector was a dangerous place, even for experienced ninja. No one below Jōnin in official rank was authorized to enter the area freely, and even then it was advised that you bring at least one companion of equal or greater rank.

Hinata was at a disadvantage in every possible way. She was FAR from a Jōnin and she was completely alone. No one knew where she was, so back-up couldn't be expected anytime soon, if at all. Add to that the fact that she had no idea where she was, and you had a perfect recipe for disaster.

"Where the hell did you go?" Hinata gave an uncharacteristic growl. She'd been following the cat closely, but had lost track of it when she caught a flash of white to her left and looked over to it.

Activating her Byakugan, the Hyūga heiress scanned the area, making full use of the x-ray abilities granted to her by her clan's Dōjutsu. She continued to pay her surroundings little attention, something that Naruto, Anko, her father, and even Kurenai would lecture/punish her for. Not paying attention was THE number one cause of Genin deaths on missions. Not being mindful of your surroundings meant that you'd never stand a chance against an attack coming from anywhere other than right in front of you.

For a ninja, single-minded focus was rarely a good thing. You had to learn how to multitask; how to split your focus between two or more different things. If you couldn't do that, then you were automatically at a disadvantage.

Hinata had a hard time with multitasking, at least when she was outside of her comfort zone: the kitchen. In fact, single-minded focus was her way of coping with her neophobia. She found that if she kept all her attention on the task at hand, everything, and everyone, around her became less intimidating. The eldest of Hiashi Hyūga's daughters wasn't an explorer. She didn't like being in unfamiliar places with unfamiliar people and things. But, as long as she was focused on something, she could block out the world around her. She could ignore anything she deemed terrifying.

Hinata was never fond of change. Changes in her life never brought anything good. Her mother's death brought about changes in her father's attitude towards her. The change in his attitude involved him pushing her harder and harder, his criticisms becoming more harsh with each "failure". Then her uncle's death brought about even more drastic changes. Her cousin, Neji, appeared to have picked up Hiashi's habit of blaming Hinata for what happened to his father and now loathed her with a passion.

After the failed kidnapping attempt by Kumogakure, Hiashi seemed to label her as useless all around and began to devote all of his time to his youngest daughter, Hanabi. The more things changed, the more it seemed her own family was conspiring against her. Hiashi often felt the need to rub in just how much Hanabi was progressing, repeatedly drilling into Hinata's head the fact that she couldn't match up with her sister. He even found it necessary to rub in Neji's status as the current Hyūga prodigy, and set up "friendly" spars between all three Hyūga children regularly.

It never escaped Hinata's notice that Neji seemed to go out of his way not to hurt Hanabi, and was chastised by Hiashi when he got "carried away". On the opposite extreme, Neji _loved_ to get "carried away" all over Hinata, particularly her abdomen. And the only time he was ever called on it was when he hit her in the face...Somewhere the bruise would be seen plain as day.

Even though he said he was sorry, Hinata saw right through her cousin's bullshit. She knew that he loved to pound her into the ground. He loved to hit her until she could barely stand, then sneak in the "killing blow" the second before Hiashi could call for the "spar" to end. She saw how he watched her like a hawk the following days. She knew that he enjoyed hearing her pained yelps as she attempted to yawn and stretch in the morning. He enjoyed seeing her walking around the compound with a hand gently pressed to her midsection. He enjoyed seeing her attempt to hide her pain from her friends/teammates and sensei. Neji loved to see his "privileged and pampered" cousin wince in agony everytime she inhaled. And most of all, he loved knowing that he was the cause of her suffering.

Just thinking about her smug, preachy bastard of a cousin made Hinata's blood boil, which, incidentally, made her skin itch even more. But she couldn't help it. This new side of her was extremely susceptible to anger, and she had a LOT of pent-up rage in that deceptively fragile-looking body. The angrier she got, the more intense the itching became. Finally, she cried out as her skin felt like it was a couple degrees from burning away.

But, try as she might, no amount of scratching would relieve the itch...It was almost as if it was _under_ her skin. Like her body was filled with Shino's bugs, and each one of them was trying to gnaw its way out and return to its rightful host.

Hinata stripped off her gloves to scratch more effectively, all thoughts of the cat driven from her mind.

'...Too...hot...' Hinata mentally huffed, beginning the process of tearing through her clothing with fingernails stronger, longer and sharper than she ever remembered them being.

She scratched until her outfit was in tatters. She scratched until her nails drew blood. She scratched until her fingers started to carve deep gashes into her arm.

"Why..." Hinata hissed as she actually tore a portion of skin away from her left forearm. "Why won't it stop?!" her jaw clenched with such strength that she could feel a couple molars crack under the pressure. In fact, all of her teeth began to crack and fragment in her mouth. It felt like her entire jaw was trying to rearrange itself!

No, screw that, her whole _body_ felt like it was trying to break itself apart!

Hinata let out an inhuman screech as she felt the beginnings of her ribcage reconfiguring itself inside of her. Her shriek was cut short by a violent coughing fit that caused the pain in her torso to increase a hundredfold.

Instinctively putting her hand up to her mouth, Hinata unleashed a torrent of fluids that were normally supposed to remain inside of her. Her breakfast and what remained of last night's dinner, bile, blood and...something else.

"What..." Hinata winced at the sound of yet another bone snapping and shifting to a new location inside of her body. Along with the bodily fluids and mostly-digested food, some strange, sticky substance had come out of her mouth and was now covering her right hand. The hand suddenly went into involuntary spasms as it, too, began to change into something that wasn't supposed to be a part of the normal human anatomy. This caused her hand to uncurl, exposing the substance to more air, making it to solidify into strong, elastic, web-like strands.

Hinata idly noticed that about twelve of her teeth, or what was left of them, had also been spat into her hand.

_"...Hinata..." _a low whisper floated into the girl's mind, immediately cutting through the haze of confusion, fear and agony.

"W-Wha...Who...Oh, Kami!" Hinata let out another short, barking screech, then rolled to her side and tried to curl into the fetal position.

_"Hinata..." _that voice...So...familiar...Yet, at the same time, foreign.

The Hyūga only let out another animalistic wail in response.

_"__Hyūga__ Hinata!"_ gone was the gentle whisper, replaced by a smooth, yet intimidating and commanding voice that Hinata knew all too well.

"N-N-Naruto-sama..." even through the pain, the mere thought of _her_ master brought a smile to Hinata's lips.

_"I was afraid of this...The blood has finally taken hold...The transformation has been initiated." _there was a frustrated sigh, then silence.

"...Na-Naruto-sama?...No...D-Don't l-leave me...GAH!" Hinata looked through tear-blurred eyes and saw her right hand mutate right before her eyes. It swelled in size until it became large enough nearly fit all the way around Hinata's head. Then the arm began to lengthen to accommodate the newly enlarged appendage.

_"I'm here, Hinata-chan...Don't be afraid. I...I had hoped that I would be there when the change took place...To guide you through it as best I could...Duty called, but I can still offer my support...and a bit of advice."_

Hinata was barely paying attention, now enthralled and horrified by the black sludge that was now pouring out of the self-inflicted wounds on her body. The substance seemed to move over her naked form of its own volition, like it knew exactly what it was doing.

_"I know it hurts...But...sorry to tell you, you've felt nothing yet...It will get worse...Much worse." _it seemed as though it pained Naruto himself just to tell her that. _"But you will survive, of that I can assure you. This...This is the gift I gave you along with a second chance at life...Or curse...We shall see once all is said and done. Don't fight it, Hinata-chan...Endure it. Embrace it. Welcome it...Take comfort and strength in the fact that, once this is all over, you will never again be labeled as 'weak' by anyone...Also take comfort in the fact that, should you wish to become 'normal' again, the process can be reversed."_

"N-Naruto-sama...Wha...What's h-h-happening to m-me?" Hinata suddenly lurched as the transformation seemed to halt on the outside, but kicked into overdrive internally. She could no longer see or hear anything taking place, but the pain-level was steadily rising, and showing no signs of stopping or even slowing. With another demonic scream, Hinata was forced to endure the feeling of more black sludge forcing its way to the surface from within her, tearing and ripping her skin until pieces of it were literally hanging off of her like the last remaining remnants of her former outfit.

_"It's time...The final hurdle is here, Hinata-chan. Calm yourself as much as you can. Relax your body. Don't fight it...Don't resist it in any way. It's going to happen, whether you want it to or not, so you'll only make it harder on yourself if you resist."_

Hinata managed to roll to her knees and now cradled her stomach with her two deformed arms. A fresh wave of raw pain smashed through her with all the subtlety of a tsunami, causing her to tilt forward, barely able to catch herself to avoid hitting the hard ground headfirst.

Her massive hand dug its fingers into the dirt as more of the black sludge covered it. She notice small globs of sludge hit the ground next to her hand, then slither over to it like small black snakes. She knew it was coming from her eyes, but what she didn't know was that she didn't have just one pair anymore. Two more eyes had opened up on her forehead, smaller than her main pair and jet black in color, just as her main pair were now.

"...Na-Naruto-sama...H-Help...me..." the girl whimpered.

The only thing worse than going through this kind of pain...was going through it alone. And Naruto would be blessed before he let her endure this by herself.

_"Hinata-chan...Listen to me...Focus only on my voice. Ignore the pain and concentrate on me. I'm going to try something that'll help you."_

"I...I c-can't..." Hinata sobbed. She could feel the sludge slowly working its way up her body towards her face. It was intent on covering her from head to toe, not leaving even a single millimeter of skin buried under less than two inches of the stuff.

_"Yes, you can. I know you can. Come on, Hinata, I can't do this without you. Help me so I can help you. Hurry, while you still have time!" _he had to work fast. In a few seconds, there would be nothing he could do for her.

"It...It h-hurts to m-much..." why couldn't she just pass out? She'd been knocked out several times from sheer agony during her "spars" with Neji, yet those moments were a far cry from what she was now experiencing.

_"...That wasn't a request. I told you to do something, and if you don't, this will seem like a cakewalk compared to what I'll do to you! Now concentrate! I won't tell you again." _Naruto didn't like talking to Hinata that way, but it had to be done if he was going to help her through this ordeal.

"I...Y-Yes, Master." just before the thick, black liquid covered her face, Hinata's body suddenly went numb and the world turned black, causing her to gasp and allow the sludge into her mouth. She gagged a little, but didn't react to the intrusion otherwise. Her body, now free from her brain's control, collapsed into the black goo and was completely submerged in seconds.

Hinata "woke up" with a gasp, sitting up in her bed, then went into a coughing fit.

"What a minute...My bed?" the girl stopped coughing and wiped her mouth. She looked around and, sure enough, she was in her home, in her room, on her bed. Not in the middle of the forest, being drowned by something resembling tar. "How did I get here?"

_"This is your Mindscape." _Naruto's voice seemed to echo all around her.

"...My what?"

_"Mindscape. It's a place created by your subconscious as a sort of private retreat, if you will. It's where you end up when the body and mind are separated due to the body 'shutting down' to rest, and the conscious remaining active. It is also where dreams are created and experienced. However, dreams are a result of an uncontrolled Mindscape, in which the subconscious is allowed to run wild. So, to put it simply, you're within your own mind right now." _Naruto explained.

"But...If this is my mind, then how are you in it?"

_"A mental link. You see, Hinata, you and I...we have a special bond. This bond allows us to communicate with one another through means other than words or body language."_

"Telepathy?"

_"In the simplest of terms, yes. Through that link, I was able to, basically, 'abduct' your conscious and bring it to this place...Which I guess you could call a Collective Mindscape."_

"...What?"

_"...Open your door and turn to your left. You'll see long hallway; walk down it. Soon, you'll come to a black door. Suppress your instincts and open it."_

Without hesitation, Hinata got up from her bed and strode over to the door. After sliding it open, she poked her head out and looked to her right. Yes, this was definitely her home. She could see the door to Hanabi's room a few yards down the hall. Looking to her left, she saw something that was certainly not a part of the Hyūga Compound. It was a hallway; a really, REALLY long hallway. So long, in fact, that she couldn't even see the end of it.

_"I told you it would be long..."_

"...You have a knack for understatements."

_"Meh." _Hinata got the distinct impression that a shrug had accompanied that grunt of indifference.

Shaking her head a little, Hinata proceeded down the ludicrously long hall. But, after three minutes of walking, she didn't seem to be getting any closer to the end of the hall, and the monotony was starting to get to her. There was nothing to see except for the same wall pattern over and over again, and the only noises were those made by her sandals on the hardwood floor.

"Ugh, I wish the hallway wasn't so damn long!" Hinata's newly-found temper was starting to flare again.

About four seconds after she said this, she found herself walking right into the door Naruto had spoke of.

"Dammit!" Hinata yelped, instinctively rubbing her nose, even though the impact hadn't really hurt at all. The Hyūga's eye twitched when she heard snickering. "That's not funny."

_"Yes, it is. Remember, this is _your_ mind, so whatever you want to happen, will happen. If you want the hallway to be shorter, it will get shorter...Just be sure to watch where you're going." _Naruto's laughter was interrupted by a sudden pained grunt.

"Naruto-sama?"

_"...It...It's alright...Now that you've...completed the mental link...I can...ugh!" _Naruto stifled a yelp, he really wasn't expecting that. He was now thankful for Kyuubi's "training", which had ended just minutes before, for effectively desensitizing his mind to pain, at least for the moment. But, even without that benefit, he'd had worse than this. It was nothing new. Incredibly unpleasant, but nothing new.

"...Whatever you did, please stop...I don't want you getting hurt because of me." Hinata pleaded.

_"I told you, I'm fine..." _Naruto's voice hitched for a second as he held in another groan.

"Remember what happened the last time you told me that?"(7)

_"That was completely different...I really thought I was alright that time...This time, I _know_ I'm alright."_

'But-'

_"No, I'm fine...This is nothing new to me...In fact, I've been through much worse, so this is a walk in the park." _the fact that Naruto could now "speak" normally was a reflection of just how much pain he could tolerate.

"Naruto-sama..."

_"Don't ask...Please, don't ask."_ the pain had brought up instant comparisons to what he'd felt before, and memories of what he'd suffered through began to assault him, causing his concentration to slip. He didn't even notice until Hinata let out a piercing shriek. _"Sorry, sorry...That was my fault."_

Hinata only whimpered in response, still trying to compose herself. She was now more thankful than ever of Naruto, for lack of a better term, absorbing the pain for her. She doubted she could handle anything more than what she just felt, and that was only a small fraction of what she was _supposed_ to be feeling.

"Naruto-sama...what happened to you?" even though he'd told her not to, she felt compelled to ask all the same.

_"I told you not to ask...Why are you so concerned for me? Aren't you at all curious as to what's happening to _you_?"_

"You are my Master...Your needs come before mine."

Had then been face-to-face, Naruto was willing to bet Hinata would be kneeling before him right now. And he didn't like the thought.

_"...We're gonna have to work on that...The 'Master and Servant' thing isn't flying with me." _apparently, he sounded more irritated than he really was, because he felt a sudden wave of fear wash over him from Hinata's end of newly established mental link.

"I'm sorry, Naruto-sama...! I-I mean Mast-No!" Hinata scrambled to think of another title for her superior, but couldn't think of anything that didn't reflect the position she held him in. "I-I...I...I'm sorry..." fear turned to overwhelming sadness. "I'm useless...I can't do anything right, not even speaking..." the girl began to weep. "They were right...My father, my cousin, my sister...all of them."

That did it. When Naruto got back to Konoha, he was going to have a little..._chat_ with Hiashi. And if the Hyūgas tried to stop him...Well, Hinata would have some cycloptic relatives.

_"Cut it out, Hinata." _Naruto barked out a command that was met with immediate compliance. _"You're not useless. Given, you were quite...weak to begin with, but you've gotten much stronger since then. However, weak as you were, you were never useless. If you were, do you really think I'd waste my time on you? Do you think Anko would sacrifice her own free time to train you? That's something the two of us have in common, Anko and I. If we feel you're not worth our time, we'll ignore you. Should you push it, however, bodily harm is a guarantee." _Naruto chuckled as he remembered Anko's tales of just how many men had decided to "push it" with her. _"The next time someone calls you 'useless', just remember one thing: we came to you, not the other way around."_

The sadness emanating from Hinata instantly vanished as reality hit her like a kick to the face; a very welcome kick to the face. Naruto was, of course, right! She had never asked to be trained by either Anko or Naruto, yet they had both taken a personal interest in her and had taken her on as a their student. What she'd already been taught put her ahead of most of her peers, and she would continue to learn, continue to surpass. Her strength would continue to increase until the word "useless" and her name were never mentioned in the same breath ever again.

"I understand, Naruto-sama...Oh! Umm..."

_"What did I..." _Naruto trailed off, as if someone was speaking to him, _"Nevermind. Like I said, we'll work on it."_

"Yes sir."

_"Well, there you go. That's better."_

"Who were you talking to?" she didn't know why, but Hinata had a feeling it was a female talking to _her_ Master, and that didn't sit well with her.

Naruto had to laugh at the jealousy that was pouring off of Hinata. It was...cute.

_"Calm down, Hinata-chan. It was just one of my clones."_

"Oh..."

_"Back to my previous question. Why haven't you asked any questions about what's going on?"_

"I...don't really know...All I could think about was you...Your safety comes before my own."

_"The hell it does!" _Naruto growled, causing Hinata to whimper. _"Listen, don't take this the wrong way, but I don't need, nor do I want anyone obsessing over my wellbeing. You, of all people, should know that I'm more than capable of taking care of myself. This? This is nothing. Worry about yourself, not me."_

"But-"

_"Don't."_

"...What...What's happening to me?" Hinata had actually been avoiding that question. True, she wanted to know just what the hell was going on, but she was so terrified of the possible answers that she felt she was better off not knowing.

It didn't matter much, anyway. Once the transformation was complete, she'd see what had become of her. Or, more accurately, what she had become. Naruto telling her would simply lessen the impact of the discovery of her "new self"...somewhat.

_"...You remember your stay in the hospital, right?"_

"Yes..."

_"Do you...happen to remember how you got there?"_

"...No, not really...I remember a battle...with Anko-sensei, a few ANBU...you, and some people I'd never met before...We were fighting a huge spider...' Hinata's voice wavered. 'I guess I got injured...Probably early on, too...I wasn't of much use, was I?" she gave an odd combination of a sob and a scoff.

_"Don't."_ Naruto warned.

"...Sorry." Hinata managed to rein in her self-pity, if just barely.

_"...Yes, there was a battle...Against a demon...A rather powerful one, at that." _Naruto chuckled at Hinata's horrified gasp. _"Don't worry, we won...But..." _he trailed off, not quite sure how to word what needed to be said. He had no idea how she'd forgotten about getting impaled, but she had.

"...'But' what?" Hinata had a sneaking suspicion she wouldn't like what she was about to be told...Not in the least.

_"...During the battle...you were, indeed, injured; skewered right through the abdomen by the demon's tail..." _this time, Naruto found no reason to chuckle at Hinata's gasp. _"It gets worse...The demon was an Onigumo and, like all of its kind, was highly venomous...But this one didn't only have a deadly bite, it had a scorpion-like stinger as well...You were impaled by it, and a small dose of its venom got into your bloodstream through the wound...Hinata...You died that day."_

"B-But h-h-how...?" Hinata shuddered as she leaned against the black door for support, then slid down to her knees when he legs gave out.

_"Me...I brought you back...And I am responsible for your current situation." _Naruto sighed, wondering just how his next words would effect their relationship. _"Hinata...I'm not human. At least, not entirely."_

"Then...what are you?"

_"I am a Hanyou; a half-demon...And I saved you...by turning you into one as well."_

"So...I'm some kind of...monster now?"

Ouch. That stung.

_"...Depends on how you choose to use the power you've been given..." _normally, such a comment wouldn't effect Naruto in the least. But, coming from someone that he knew, liked and trusted, someone that he would give his own life for...Well, the words had a much harder impact than they would if they'd been said by some random villager or shinobi.

"I-I didn't mean...I...I'm sorry."

_"Don't be." _

"No, I really am sorry. I didn't mean to imply anything...You...You're not a monster, Naruto-sa...Naruto-kun..." Hinata caught herself just in time.

_"How do you know? You know how I am around you and others...but do you know what I'm like behind closed doors? How do you know that the behavior you've seen isn't just a front? How do you know that I'm not contemplating a hundred different ways to kill you everytime I look at you? How do you know that I'm not a monster?"_

To be honest, Hinata was more than a little freaked out by Naruto's words, and she'd be lying if she said she wasn't afraid of him. But her resolve was unwavering.

"I've known...I've _watched_ you for years...I know you're not a monster." Hinata sighed. "I wish I could see you right now." speaking to him was nice and all, but it was still just a voice. Hinata needed something physical, something she could hold...Someone who could hold her.

_"...Remember that door?" _

Hinata looked over to see that she was, in fact, still leaning on the door, having completely forgotten about it.

"What is this? Where does it go?"

_"Open it and find out." _Naruto didn't bother to hide his amusement.

"...It's not a room full of..._spiders_, is it?" Hinata shuddered and yanked her hand away from the door's handle as if she'd been burned by it.

_"Come now, would I do something like that?"_

"..."

_"..."_

"..."

_"No, it's not a room full of spiders. Just open it!"_

While it wasn't exactly a command, Hinata responded as it if were one, immediately hopping to her feet and grabbing the door's handle. With a small gulp, Hinata twisted the handle and pushed.

The girl had half-expected to have her eyes assaulted by a blinding light, or to be faced with a black abyss. Perhaps some kind of weird, completely out of place room...full to bursting with spiders. But of all the things she expected to find, that lay before her was not among them.

Just outside of the door, there was a large field made up of hundreds of thousands of flowers, of every conceivable color, shape and size. Looking to her right, Hinata spied a small patch of grass laying before a large willow tree. She immediately recognized it as the place she most often visited in her dreams. It was the place where she'd lay down and look up at the clouds, Naruto right next to her, usually with an arm around her shoulders.

Speaking of clouds, Hinata looked up to find a beautiful blue sky, complete with all manner of fluffy, white clouds. However, as she looked further on, white and fluffy gave way to dark grey and foreboding. The sky was, literally, split right down the middle! While "her side" looked just like a scene out of her dreams, the other looked like something she'd see at the beginning of a nightmare.

Dark, desolate, menacing; all-around unpleasant. Was that a part of her own mind? No, it couldn't be. She may have had some dark thoughts in the past, but nothing to warrant such an environment.

Aside from the darkened sky, the ground was also split in half. Her field of flowers on one said, a barren wasteland on the other. The soil on the "corrupted" side looked more like ash than anything. The sparse patches of grass were obviously long dead, looking as if they'd crumble into dust with even the slightest breeze. But something else caught Hinata's attention. Something that was out of place, yet fit perfectly at the same time.

It was a wall. A very, very big wall.

"Wait, that's not a wall...It has an entrance." some kind of building, then. A castle or fortress, maybe?

The entrance was just as eerie as the rest of the scene. No, "eerie" didn't quite describe what that pitch black tunnel was for Hinata. It was the only thing that she'd seen so far that actually made her want to go back into her "house" and never come back out again. She just knew that there would be some terrifying beast charging out to tear her apart at any second.

Swallowing hard, Hinata gathered the courage to call out, "Naruto-kun...?" she waited for a reply, but none came.

Suddenly, two torches on either side of the tunnel lit up, causing Hinata to jump and let out a small "eep". Then came a gust of frigid wind that made Hinata shiver.

The girl's body suddenly went stiff as a board when she felt something crawling on her back. It was a spider; a BIG one.

Releasing a shuddering breath, Hinata began to talk to herself.

"Calm down...It's not real...This is my mind, so if I will it, it'll go away..." Hinata willed it...but the thing just kept on crawling up her back. It was now just below her right shoulder blade. "It's not real...It's not real...It's not real..."

As if to say "Yes, I am", the spider put on a burst of speed that carried it up to Hinata's shoulder in a fraction of a second, then it stopped and just sat there.

The Hyūga heiress found herself paralyzed with fear, and she had no idea why. Before her stay at the hospital, she'd never been afraid of spiders, or anything that most girls would consider "creepy". Afterall, she liked Naruto. While with her team, she never had any reservations about capturing insects that she thought Shino might be interested in. She even found the Praying Mantis to be a fascinating creature, and most of them were actually quite pretty.

So why couldn't she fucking move?! It was a spider! Just a spider! Then she remembered her run-in with the giant demon spider, and correctly deduced that it was the reason for her sudden crippling fear of spiders.

Steeling herself, Hinata slowly moved her left hand up in order to smash the offending arachnid. However, that resolve was quickly shattered as the spider took a couple more steps, jumped and latched onto the side of her face.

With a shriek that would make a banshee flinch, Hinata fell to the ground and started rolling around in a desperate attempt to get the spider off of her.

"Wow, you've got quite a set of lungs, don't you?" a familiar voice chuckled.

Hinata's frantic rolling instantly stopped and she raised her head to look at her "assailant".

"Hello, Hinata-chan." Naruto greeted with a small wave.

Naruto expected one of several things to happen. Maybe the girl was going to go ballistic on him for messing with her phobia like that. Perhaps she'd just turn her back on him and refuse to speak until he apologized. Hell, Naruto even entertained the idea of the still-timid Hyūga vowing to get revenge on him. But the one thing he didn't expect was the one thing that happened.

With a squeal of utter delight, Hinata got to her feet and tackled Naruto to the ground.

"Naruto-sama!" the girl squealed again, this one even louder than before, now that she knew he was "real".

"...Okay..." Naruto tried to gently pry the girl's arms off of himself, but she wouldn't budge. He put more strength into it, but to no avail. "...Crap." he felt the urge to smack himself. 'Her mind, her rules.' he thought with a small chuckle. If Hinata didn't want to let go, there was no way Naruto was going to make her.

He'd taken a big risk by stepping into Hinata's mind. While he was here, his power was what she said it was. She could make him do anything she wished, and he would be powerless to prevent it. He could only hope that his position as a figure of authority in her life would save him.

However, as long as he could keep the girl from realizing what she could now do to him, he would be fine.

Unfortunately...

"Mmm, Naruto-sama..." Hinata purred as buried her head into his chest. '...His clothes are in the way...' she thought with a small frown. She wanted skin-on-skin contact!

"...Shit." Naruto suddenly found himself topless and knew exactly what had just happened. It seemed Hinata had discovered the perks of the Mindscape.

With another squeal of glee, Hinata nuzzled Naruto's bare chest.

The masked boy could feel the Hyūga's entire body vibrating with the purring sound she was producing.

'Maybe she'll turn out to be a Bakeneko?' with her behavior, it seemed entirely possible.

Kyuubi had informed Naruto then when a human was infused with demonic blood, and they survived long enough for the conversion to take place, the type of demon they'd become was never certain. Contrary to popular belief, the demon that the blood comes from has no control over what kind of demon will result from an infusion. Having never done it herself, Kyuubi could only go from what she'd heard from other demons that had, and according to them, the human was the deciding factor. More accurately, the human's mind. What they wanted to become, or what they thought about becoming.

Say a human was given blood from a wolf demon, but wanted to become a cat demon, or an Elemental. If that is what they truly wanted, that's what they'd become. But the transformation, as Kyuubi was told, wasn't always that controlled. In fact, most of the cases of demons turning humans into demons happened when said human made a deal with a demon, usually to accomplish a seemingly impossible task or to save themselves from imminent death. These people had no idea what being a demon would entail, and so had no thoughts on what kind of demon they wanted to be. Most weren't even aware they had a choice in the matter. They figured if they were turned by a wolf demon, they'd become a wolf demon themselves.

Given, there were many that actually did become a demon of the same type as the one that turned them, but this was only because they always thought about the demon, often remembering every detail of their meeting. But, if the human thought about, say, bats more often than they did wolves, they would become a bat demon.

To complicate things even further, Kyuubi had been told that infusions involving and resulting in hanyous were even more unpredictable and, more often than not, more unstable.

Unfortunately, Naruto hadn't the slightest clue as to what Hinata would think about, besides him, maybe. He knew her on a professional level, not a very personal one. Even during their training sessions, Naruto kept himself emotionally distant from the girl. Before his "awakening", Naruto had done it so that he would be able to do what it took to toughen the girl up. He believed that if he became too attached to her, he wouldn't be able to harm her in any way, thus rendering all training ineffective. In his view, anyway.

But now he knew he'd been wrong. The more attached to her he became, the more he cared about her, the harder he pushed her. He had vowed to protect her years ago, and he had broken that vow as soon as he allowed his mind to lock away the memories of their past together. And now, since they were on different teams, he knew he wouldn't be able to look after her all the time, just like now. So, he would protect her by making sure she could protect herself.

'The abilities she will soon gain will either make reaching that goal easier...or far more difficult.' given the way things worked in life, the latter was the most likely result.

"Hinata..." Naruto poked the girl's head, causing her to tilt her head to look at him.

"Hm?" she still refused to relinquish her hold on him.

"While I enjoy a good cuddle as much as the next guy...we really do have quite a lot to discuss."

Hinata didn't say anything, but the pout on her face made her unwillingness to let go quite clear.

"You should know that doesn't work on m-!" Naruto was cutoff as a massive hand burst through the ground and latched onto his face.

Hinata screamed and instantly let go as the owner of the hand began to rise from the ground, hauling Naruto into the air.

Whatever it was, it was huge. Its arm was as long as Naruto was tall, maybe moreso, and completely covered in a glossy, black shell that reminded Hinata of the chitin exoskeleton of a beetle. Four long, talon-tipped fingers easily wrapped around Naruto's head, leaving only small portions of blonde hair poking through. In a sudden explosion of earth and plant life, the beast was revealed in all of its hideous glory.

It was completely covered in the same black, armor-like shell as its arms, all four of them. Beyond the two extra arms, it had a humanoid torso, and an...ample bosom, indicating that it was female.

Its head was a sight to behold, and was sure to give Hinata nightmares for months to come. One main pair of jet-black eyes where a normal human's would be, then one smaller pair on its forehead, another eye on either temple, and what appeared to be yet another pair at the back of its head; eight eyes in all. The head was also covered in a spiky "helmet" of sorts, with spaces left open for each of the eyes, and long, dark indigo hair cascaded down the creature's back. The face looked mostly human, despite the eyes on the forehead and the pale gray skin, but its mouth easily gave it away as a monster. While the lips looked normal at first, when it started to snarl at Naruto, they peeling back to the sides to reveal that its mouth was so large that it nearly divided its entire head in half.

As if to fit the larger accommodations, the creature's sharp teeth extended to nearly three times their original length. It then opened its mouth wide enough to easily devour Naruto's head, revealing two rows of those impressive fangs, and unleashed a shrieking roar that would leave the boy's ears ringing for quite a while. In fact, Naruto was sure his ears would've been bleeding had they not been in a Mindscape.

'What the hell is this?!' Naruto thought as he frantically tried to struggle out of the monster's grip. 'Come on, Hinata, I need some help here!' the creature proved to be far too strong for him to pry off. Here, his power was what Hinata said it was, and Hinata wasn't saying anything.

In fact, she was frozen in absolute terror right now. It wasn't the creature's face, arms, eyes or even its mouthful of razor-sharp teeth. No, it was the lower portion that had her rooted to her spot.

While the upper part may have been vaguely human, the lower half was an entirely different story. Four huge, crab-like legs, a very large posterior with relatively short, needle-like hairs loosely attached to it...She knew that design anywhere. Whatever this thing was, it appeared to be half-human and half-spider. To Hinata: Horror Incarnate.

_"Trespasser..." _the creature spoke with a low, rasping hiss.

Though barely able to speak, Naruto managed to croak out, "No, I'm not."

_"Yes..." _the creature applied more pressure on its captive's head.

"No."

_"Yes!" _the monster adjusted its grip so it could wrap its long fingers around Naruto's neck. It was now about to push its face right into his, which left it in prime position for a kick to the chin. Unfortunately for Naruto, the beast realized this as well, and used its lower pair of arms to restrain his legs.

"No." Naruto was careful not to raise his voice, as he was at the creature's mercy. With how complicated the mechanics of the Mindscape were, he shuddered to think of what would happen if he was "killed" while in someone else's Mindscape.

However, even his simple reply incited the creature's fury, if the deafening roar it produced was anything to go by.

_**"INTRUDER!" **_though still distinctly feminine, the monster's voice adopted an odd bass-y undertone, not unlike that of Kyuubi's.

Naruto wasn't going to convince the beast; he might as well have been talking to an actual spider. So, instead, he turned his attention to Hinata.

"Hinata..." Naruto trailed off as the creature growled and squeezed his neck just enough to get its point across. For some reason, it didn't seem all too eager to destroy him, just scare him.

Hinata didn't register Naruto's voice. Right now, every one of her senses were focused on the spider-woman before her. Had she heard him, she'd have wondered why he was calling for her anyway. For Kami's sake, that thing was overpowering him as if he were a small child! What hope did she have against it?

"Hinata!" Naruto managed to shout before the monster's hand began to fully constrict his throat.

The girl jumped and gave a small squeak, the words finally cutting through the haze of fear.

_"Your mind, your rules, Hinata."_ Naruto's words went directly from his mind to hers, as he was rendered unable to speak at the moment.

Apparently, the creature also heard it, as its main pair of eyes widened and it turned its attention to Hinata, much to the girl's horror.

Unable to do anything, Hinata simply froze as the monster turned and stepped towards her. Had the girl been paying closer attention to how the creature moved, she would've noticed that it seemed to actively avoid trampling any of the flowers, taking careful and precise steps with all four legs. As it got closer, Hinata could finally see just how big it really was. Despite the grotesquely oversized arms, Hinata could guess, based on the proportions of the humanoid torso, that it would've made for a human woman well over six feet tall. But, with the spider-like legs being far longer than any human's, the creature was closer to nine feet in height.

With Naruto still in its clutches, the humanoid portion of the creature leaned down until it was face-to-face with Hinata. Retracting its fangs and allowing its lips to relax back into their original state, it made its face look completely human, besides the eyes, to be as non-threatening as possible. Had Hinata not been so terrified, she might have noticed that the creature's face bore an uncanny resemblance to her mother's. In fact, when you considered the fact that Hinata was often told she looked like her mother, one could say the creature looked like an older Hinata as well.

But Hinata wasn't paying attention to any of this. All she knew was that THE most terrifying thing she'd ever seen was staring her down from about a foot away, and that was enough to render her unconscious. Before she even hit the ground, her form faded away, only to reappear in the mental representation of her room, in her bed.

The creature cocked its head to the side a bit, confused as to what just happened. Then a proverbial lightbulb went off in its head and it turned to its captive with a monstrous grin.

_"Our mind...My rules." _

Naruto didn't even have time to process the implications of that statement before the creature opened its mouth and spewed out some kind of thick, white goo. Well, it looked like some kind of goo, but it felt like a twenty-pound brick when it hit him, snapping his head back violently on impact.

With what amounted to a malicious giggle, the creature held Naruto's body horizontally and began to spin him, drooling more of the sticky substance over him.

'Kyuu-chan, a little help?' Naruto gave a heavy mental sigh. This wasn't exactly what he had in mind when he came here.

**"Had enough?" **Kyuubi, of course, had been closely monitoring everything that happened while Naruto was visiting Hinata's Mindscape.

Not having much experience with Mindscapes beyond her own and Naruto's, Kyuubi wasn't exactly an expert on the inner workings of the mind, especially not the human or hanyou mind. But she'd heard enough "horror stories" to make her thoroughly cautious about entering the mind of another. One warning in particular made her truly question Naruto's course of action.

Hundreds of years ago, Kyuubi had spoken to a demonic psychic that specialized in telekinesis, telepathy and hypnotism. In order to master these abilities, the demon had to have extensive knowledge of how different minds worked. He had to know the victims' minds better than the victims themselves. And a large part of his workings involved manipulating the subconscious in order to affect the conscious decisions of the victim, or "subject" as he called those he had no ill intent towards. This meant he had considerable experience in matters of, and related to, the Mindscape.

The demon had said that even though it was a relatively simple matter to travel to the Mindscape of another, it was incredibly dangerous, even for a being such as himself. With his powers, he could easily overpower and subdue the minds of most creatures, rendering their mental defenses useless. But, for someone without the abilities or knowledge required for such endeavors, like Naruto, they put themselves at the mercy of their subject by going into their Mindscape. He had cautioned that if the "Intruder" "died" while in another's Mindscape, their consciousness would be trapped there until they were released by the subject. But, since the Mindscape was a product of the subconscious, this meant that the subject wouldn't be aware of the "Intruder's" presence until he/she accessed their Mindscape.

And this is what worried Kyuubi. Hinata didn't know how to access her Mindscape. So, if Naruto "died" during his visit, he'd be trapped in the girl's subconscious until Hinata finally managed to access her Mindscape again, which could take years without proper guidance and instruction. From what the psychic had told Kyuubi, Naruto would still be able to communicate with Hinata, but only through her dreams, which could be even more dangerous than what he was doing now. And, since it would be a dream, even if Hinata remembered it, she'd be unlikely to act on it.

**"I told you this was a bad idea." **Kyuubi huffed.

'Fine. You were right.' Naruto sighed.

**"And..."**

'...And, I'm a stubborn jackass.'

**"And..."**

'...And, I should listen to you more often.'

**"And..."**

'Kinda pressed for time here.'

**"Aaaannd..."**

Naruto groaned in exasperation, but gave in nonetheless. 'And, you are the Queen of Awesomeness. All things ever considered "awesome" pale in comparison to you.'

**"Oh, stop! You're making me blush!" **Kyuubi giggled.

'Kyuubi!'

**"Okay, okay, okay! Calm down, it's not like Hina-chan is in any hurry to kill you." **Kyuubi let out a small giggle as she let a Devil Claw fly.

'"Hina-chan"? What are you...No. You can't mean that this thing is...' if that was indeed the case, then explaining the transformation had just gotten a whole hell of a lot more difficult.

**"'Fraid so, hun. Now, keep her distracted. If she notices me before I can grab you, she'll most likely activate the mental defenses to keep me out, and you in."**

'Distract i-_her_? How? I'm not exactly in a position to do much.'

**"Just do what you can. Remember, spiders just **_**love**_** it when their prey keeps struggling."**

Naruto sighed and began to squirm as violently as he could. He could feel the creature's hands suddenly tense up to keep from dropping him, and the pace of the rotations picked up. It seemed as though reminding the thing, that he now knew was actually Hinata's demon side, that he was still alive caused it to put more effort into cocooning him.

The ploy succeeded in keeping the demon's focus off of the crimson energy-limb barreling towards it from the tunnel leading to Naruto's own Mindscape. Despite being a vast improvement, power-wise, over the human Hinata, the demon's reaction-time wasn't the greatest. This was proven when Naruto was snatched right out of her hands and pulled back over the line that divided the two Mindscapes.

As soon as he was back on his own turf, the silk that encased him went from several-times stronger than steel, to brittle as glass, allowing Naruto to easily escape.

And escape, he did. In quite a spectacular fashion, complete with a swirling tower of black fire.

This stopped Hinata's demon in her tracks and forced her to back up. At first, she seemed ready to lunge into Naruto's Mindscape to recapture her prey, but now it looked like she now knew that would've been suicide. Despite the snarl on her face, it was easy to see that the demon was quite scared of the power on display before her.

A fully-clothed Naruto stepped out of the flames, eyes glowing purple under his mask.

"I'm sure you had fun with that little game, and I'll admit that I came out on the losing end." Naruto tilted his head to the side until he felt it crack and gave a small, annoyed growl. "Would you like to test your luck in _my_ game?"

The demon seemed to be up to the challenge, ready to pounce and finish what it started. However, it began to back up, still mindful of the flowers around it.

"I didn't think so." Naruto snorted.

The demon growled, then jumped back at least a hundred feet and onto the roof of Hinata's Mindscape home. With one last hissing snarl, the demon faded away like simple illusion.

**"She's assuming control." **Kyuubi said as she appeared from the shadowed tunnel to stand next to Naruto.

"This is so fucked up." Naruto sighed. "From what I could gather from glimpses of her memories, she's on a mission with her team to find Tora, that Kami-forsaken cat. She chased it into the Forest of Death...So fucked up."

Naruto and Kyuubi watched as Hinata's Mindscape disappeared, replaced by the wasteland that made up the currently unoccupied space of Naruto's mind.

"They're going to come looking for her once they find that her communicator's dead..."

**"And they won't like what they find." **Kyuubi scratched her chin for a few seconds. **"I've got it!" **she snapped her fingers and turned to Naruto with a bright smile. **"Send Kuro-chan back to Konoha to help Hinata out. Not only would she be able to get back faster than anyone else, she's also not an official member of the team for this mission, so she can leave at will. She can also get back completely undetected, and can fly right over all the places you had to go around."**

Naruto nodded, immediately agreeing with the idea. "She also has more than enough power subdue Hinata, if necessary, and prevent anyone else from harming her." he suddenly ripped off his mask, grabbed Kyuubi's head and pulled her into a kiss. "Do you have any idea how much I love you?" Naruto didn't give his mate time to answer before pulling her into another kiss.

**"Aw, you just love me for my brains." **Kyuubi pouted playfully, then turned away with a huff that sounded more like a small giggle. She made sure the motion parted her kimono to show more skin.

It took every bit of Naruto's willpower not to tackle Kyuubi right there and fuck her senseless. Though that still wasn't as much as it would've taken had they not been in the Mindscape. They'd tried Mindscape sex before, and while still terrific, it just wasn't the same for either of them.

"..._Now_ you're trying to turn me on?" she knew that he was pressed for time, yet she was still, quite literally, trying to get a rise out of him!

**"What? Ever heard of a quickie?" **

"...You know what? After what you did to me earlier, I'll bet I can resist anything you could throw at me." oh, how Naruto wished he could take those words back, but it was far too late.

Kyuubi twitched, then bared her teeth in an absolutely sinister grin.

**"Challenge accepted. Tell me, what will I be winning? Besides the obvious, of course." **

"..." Naruto remained silent, still in the process of contemplating whether or not he should kick his own ass for that little slip-up.

**"How about another favor to add to the collection?" **Kyuubi still had one more favor to cash in, but she could always use more. Given, Naruto would do anything she asked him to, barring the truly outrageous, just because of their relationship. But, to Kyuubi, that was just taking advantage of Naruto's devotion to her. At least winning a bet would be earning the right to make Naruto do whatever she wanted.

"...Fine." he knew he was going to regret agreeing to the terms, but there wasn't much else he could do. His mouth had already written the check.

**"I'll collect my prize later. Right now, you've got more important things to deal with." **yes, even Kyuubi would admit that there were several things more important than sex, no matter how good it was.

"...Oh! Hinata, right..." Naruto actually blushed lightly as he scratched the his cheek. "I've already lost, haven't I?" Kyuubi hadn't even done anything, and she already had him forgetting what he was supposed to do.

Hell, if she really tried, she could probably make him forget his own name.

**"Pretty much. But I'm not satisfied with temporarily lowering your IQ. Like I said, I'll collect later. Now, get outta here, before you make me do something bad to you." **Kyuubi gave Naruto a light push down the tunnel, which actually caused him to fall flat on his unmasked face.

"Ow..."

**"Distracted, are we?" **Kyuubi giggled.

"Kinda..." Naruto muttered as he got up and brushed himself off. With a deep sigh, Naruto's form faded away as he resumed control and awoke from his slumber.

Kyuubi turned to walk back down the tunnel and return to her own chamber, when she felt a familiar presence. She'd only felt it a few times before, and only recently, but she knew it all the same.

**"Noctis." **the "Obsidian Knight" was out there, in that huge expanse of unused mental space.

It was the perfect place to hide, since it was, for all intents and purposes, infinite. Unlike humans, there was really no limit to how much a demon could learn before it started to forget things. Naruto's Mindscape would continue to expand with everything he learned, but there would always be room for more. That being the case, one could hide out in that "empty space" forever if they felt so inclined. And Kyuubi would've been content to let Noctis do just that, as she knew he couldn't do any harm out there. But she still felt like she should find out why he was out there in the first place, beyond the obvious reason of wishing to avoid Nightmare and herself.

Moving quickly, Kyuubi tracked the demon down. She noticed that he was making no attempt at hiding himself, nor any attempt to get away from her. He could undoubtedly sense her, as she was making no attempt to hide herself, either.

**'Maybe he wants to be found?' **though you'd think the last person he'd want to run into would be Kyuubi.

_"Go away, woman...You are not wanted here."_ okay, so maybe he didn't want to be found.

**"Well, you can't seem to take the hint to leave when you aren't welcome, so why should I?" **Kyuubi leaned against the dead tree Noctis was "hiding" behind.

Noctis adjusted his helm slightly, something that Kyuubi didn't miss.

**'He must've had it off before I came here.' **

_"Do you think I would remain if I could get out? I'm not here by my own will, you know."_ Noctis hissed.

**"Of course I know." **Kyuubi shrugged. **"You're a puppet, you don't do anything by your own will. You're just a slave to the Soul Edge." **

_"Was...I _was_ a puppet."_

**"Oh?"**

_"I was...cutoff."_ strangely, Noctis didn't seem the least bit worried about that fact. _"I've told you enough. Leave me alone."_

**"And what if I don't want to leave you alone? What if I want more information out of you?" **Kyuubi smirked as Noctis turned his head slightly to her, the only physical reaction she'd gotten out of him.

_"Even though I am free of that accursed blade and _Him_, and even though I am outside of the Mindscape...I am still a part of Naruto, and that means I have more pull in this place than you do. Especially here, in this desolate area. For now, this is my domain, woman, and I'm not accepting visitors. Now or ever._

With a wave of his hand, Noctis sent Kyuubi flying at fantastic speeds, resulting in a rather violent crash with the outer wall of Naruto's Mindscape castle. The wall repaired itself immediately, getting rid of the massive dent left by the collision.

_"What the hell was that?!"_ Nightmare demanded as he walked out of the tunnel. Looking to his left, he saw Kyuubi still laying on the ground, seemingly unconscious. _"...What did you do?"_

Kyuubi, still on the ground, slowly turned her head to look at Nightmare. She didn't appear to be very happy.

**"Why do you automatically assume it's my fault?" **

_"Well, seeing as how I didn't do it, and the kid isn't here right now, you're the only one that could've done it."_

**"You're forgetting someone..."**

It took about three seconds for Nightmare to figure out what the demoness meant, and once he did, his first instinct was to find the other knight and open up a party-sized can of whoop-ass. Unfortunately, Nightmare was halted by Kyuubi.

_"What?"_ Nightmare nearly snarled. He hadn't handed out a good beatdown in ages, and this was the perfect opportunity.

**"He just threw me around like a ragdoll, so what kind of chance do you think you stand?" **Kyuubi sighed and looked back out into the wasteland. **"There's nothing we could do, even if we could find him. He's probably moved further out by now."**

_"What do you mean we can't do anything? He wasn't too much trouble for us before, and he's lost most of his power now. He should be a pushover!"_

**"Be that as it may, he's not. You're forgetting the same thing I did: Noctis is still a part of Naruto. He seems to recognize this now, and he's using the power it gives him to its fullest extent. He's basically claimed all of this unused space as his own, and if we go looking for him, we'd be playing right into his hands." **

Nightmare snorted and leaned against the wall behind him. _"Great. Just fuckin' great! Now we have to just sit back and wait while he comes up with plans to cause more havoc around here?"_

**"He's outside of Naruto's Mindscape, so he can't do any harm. All of Naruto's memories and such are protected within these walls. He also has no chance of regaining control of Naruto's body as long as he remains out there."**

_"So, what? Do we just let him roam free? What about the kid? He'll want to know about this."_

Kyuubi shook her head. **"No, we won't tell Naruto. That could be exactly what Noctis wants; to have Naruto looking for him."**

_"This'll be our little secret, then?"_

**"Our little secret." **Kyuubi nodded and walked passed Nightmare, then turned to walk down the tunnel, back to her chamber.

Nightmare took one last look around, then snorted and followed Kyuubi back inside.

_"I tell ya', it's always something."_

(Meanwhile)

Kurohane slept peacefully next to Naruto, her limbs wrapped around his body with enough strength to leave a normal man with bruises. But Naruto barely even acknowledged it as he shot upright in the bed, thoroughly startling the Raven Princess.

"Naruto-kun, what's wrong?" Kurohane asked, obviously worried. She had good reason to be; she'd found Naruto about an hour ago, laying inside of a crater large enough to swallow an entire neighborhood full of houses. She never took off his mask in her rush to get him to the Hokage, so she never saw the peaceful smile on his face.

The Sandaime had told her there was nothing to worry about and to talk the boy to his room. By the time she got him there and took his mask off, the smile was long gone.

"Several things, like my face being exposed to prying eyes." Naruto glared at Kurohane and swiped his mask from the nightstand. "But I need you for a special assignment."

Any trace of worry or sleepiness instantly disappeared from Kurohane's features, replaced by the stone-like visage of a soldier receiving orders.

"Anything for you, Naruto-sama." the girl's voice was a near monotone.

"...Don't call me that. I need you fly back to Konoha, ASAP."

"Hm? What's going on?"

"Remember what I did to Hinata after she was, you know, killed?" Naruto received a nod and continued. "You know I turned her into a hanyou, like myself and Sei-chan, right?" another nod. "Well, it turns out that Hinata's demon side has chosen now, of all times, to come out and play, so to speak. Now, I don't know just how powerful or dangerous she is, but I know what she looks like, and I know she's become an Onigumo."

"What?! But, how..." Kurohane's jaw nearly hit the floor. That kid was actually pretty cute, and imagining her as something even slightly resembling the Corpser made the Raven Princess' skin crawl.

"I'll have to ask Kyuu-chan about it later. Right now, you need to get to Hinata before anyone else does. Konoha has a very unpleasant history with demons; I'm living proof of that. So, if someone should happen upon Hinata...Well, I doubt they'll think twice about taking her out." Naruto let out a growl at the thought of several ANBU hacking and slashing at Hinata with their swords, weakening her with every blow until she could no longer fight back.

He swore, right then and there, that if anyone harmed a single hair on Hinata's head, he would render any current definition or synonym of "pain" obsolete with what he would do to them.

"I understand that...But, what do you want me to do with her once I find her?"

"Whatever you have to. If you need to subdue her, do it, then take her back to the apartment complex. Go into my room and open the closet to the far right of the couch. Go to the back of the closet and knock three times. A panel will open and you'll see a small scanner inside of it. Put your hand put to it and concentrate your chakra, I've already programmed it to accept you and the others. The door to my private 'workshop' will open; walk in and make sure to close the door behind you. At the back of the workshop you'll see another door with a scanner next to it. Do the same thing as before to gain access into the stairway that leads down to the underground levels of the complex. These are actually sections of Konoha's secret evacuation tunnels that I...claimed for my own purposes. You can hide Hinata down there until I return and get everything sorted out...Also, find Sei-chan and take her with you. Do NOT let either of them out of your sight, understand?" Naruto finished giving is detailed instructions.

Kurohane was slow to nod. She'd only caught about two-thirds of what had been said. But she did have one question.

"Why not just take her to the Shadow Realm?"

"One of her elemental alignments is Light, and according to Kyuu-chan, that makes it impossible for her to enter the Shadow Realm for any significant period of time. If you open a portal, she will only be able to remain for a few seconds before being ejected. You can use the shadows to move from place to place, but you'll need to be quick about it. Very quick."

"Oh..." it was quite embarrassing that someone such as her wouldn't know about that aspect of Shadow Walking and the Shadow Realm.

Naruto sighed and pulled a small scroll from inside of his jacket, along with a small ink pen. A display of ridiculously fast writing later, Kurohane now had a scroll containing all of the instructions that Naruto had just given verbally, as well as a few more details pertaining to the designated hiding place and how to keep it hidden even with frequent travelling to and from it. There were also details about how to arm and disarm each of the traps Naruto had set up all around, and inside, the property.

Kurohane gave Naruto a look that told him she wouldn't fail, no matter what. This drew an unexpected reaction from the boy: a hug.

Wrapping his arms around Kurohane in a manner not unlike he did with Kyuubi, Naruto whispered his parting words softly.

"Even though there's so much riding on this, I just want you to do your best...That's all I ask. Keep them and yourself safe...I don't know what I'd do if I lost any of you." Naruto squeezed tighter, as if unwilling to ever let her go(8).

Kurohane smiled radiantly as she returned the hug, knowing that she was seeing a side of Naruto that only one other being ever seen.

"You'd level Konoha in a blind rage." even though it was said as more of a joke than anything, they both knew it was actually the most likely outcome if the worst happened.

Naruto gave a soft chuckle before removing his mask and locking lips with Kurohane in a kiss that made her knees buckle.

"A small preview of things to come." Naruto adopted a mischievous smirk and lightly flicked Kurohane's nose. "But only if you do your best."

'You evil bastard!' Kurohane mentally screamed, but quickly suppressed the urge to jump the hanyou still holding her.

"Always. I won't let you down, Naruto-koi." with that, Kurohane stepped away from Naruto and charged towards the window. Even the reinforced glass was far from a match for her as she easily shattered the window and went into a freefall. Halfway to the ground, she curled into a ball and seemed to leave behind a black vapor trail as she transformed into her full Raven form and took to the skies at speeds even the fastest of shinobi would appreciate.

Naruto watched her until she was out of sight, a mere four seconds, before bursting into laughter. For some reason, the first thing to pop into his mind after the window was destroyed was what would've happened if a regular human had smashed into the five-inch thick reinforced glass as fast as Kurohane had. But it quickly sobered up when he saw dozens of shinobi hauling ass towards the tower.

"Hey, 'Ruto, what the hell was that?" Zabuza asked after pounding on the door a couple of times.

Opening the door, Naruto found a completely geared-up Zabuza with his sword strapped to his back.

"I have a couple of clones back in Konoha," Naruto said, "and I just got a message from one of them telling me that there are some problems." it wasn't a complete lie, as Naruto really did have a few clones scattered throughout Konoha, mostly around the known hangouts of his biggest "fans".

While the Anti-Kyuubi Brigade was normally little more than an annoyance for Naruto, they did have some members that could cause serious problems for him, and their numbers were growing all the time. Naruto used his clones to monitor these the different groups of the AKB, four main groups and five minor ones. The clones told him of all new developments, whether they be new recruits or plots against him. Every once in a while, the clones infiltrated some of the minor groups, those without ninja that could see through their Henge, and sabotaged their efforts from the inside.

"What kind of problems?"

"Same old shit. Plots to assassinate me, blow up my home, threaten any friends I may have; that sort of stuff. But this time they've got a couple of above-average Jōnin that could cause some problems in the future, so I sent Kurohane back to keep them from trying anything." Zabuza may have already known about Naruto's half-demon status, but he liked to get drunk, and if any sensitive information leaked from his lips, it could have disastrous results.

Hinata was the heiress to the one of the most highly regarded clans in the known world. If it was ever discovered that Naruto had done what he'd done, even if it was to save her life, he would have to leave Konoha. Either through banishment, or to escape execution, he wouldn't be able to stay, and neither would anyone closely associated with him.

However, if he could get to Hiashi himself and inform him of the situation directly, the fallout from the inevitable reveal would be lessened considerably. Sure, he'd have to deal with increased numbers and activity from the AKB, but as long as he had Hiashi on his side, or at least not wanting his head on a silver platter, there wasn't a damn thing the Council could do about it. As long as there was an established Clanhead, the Council had no say in matters within a clan, regardless of what they were. So, as long as Hinata didn't hurt anyone, without provocation, the Council was helpless.

"...People in Konoha aren't very smart, are they?" Zabuza ducked to avoid the ashtray that was chucked at him from the living room. "The only reason you take offense to that is because you know it's true!" the ex-Mist-nin jumped over an elongated kunai that would've otherwise hit him where the sun don't shine.

"Afternoon, Mitarashi-san." Naruto moved back three inches just before a second kunai lodged itself into the wooden doorframe.

"I told you to just call me Anko, Naru-chaaaan!" Anko complained with an undeniably cute whine.

"Okay, Anko-san." one of Naruto's coattails whipped around and smacked a second kunai out of the air. "So, where're you headed to?" Naruto asked as he looked at Zabuza.

"Just goin' out to do some training, pick up a sharpening kit, some kunai and explosive tags." Zabuza listed off his planned activities for the day.

"Kunai?" Naruto cocked his head to the side slightly.

"Yeah, I'm using kunai now. So, what are you gonna do? I believe you've already met your Destruction Quota for today."

"Everyone knows about that, eh?" Naruto chuckled slightly.

"Kid, people back in Fire Country probably know about that. You should've seen the chaos you caused with that little show." now Zabuza was chuckling.

"It was awesome!" Anko shouted.

"I take it you're training with her?"

Zabuza nodded. "Yep."

"Just don't overdo it." Naruto said with a smirk, though it was unseen.

Zabuza simply deadpanned, remaining completely silent. Anko poked her head around the corner, her expression the same as Zabuza's.

"Yeah, I know. I just don't want you two hurting each other...Then I'll have to pick up your slack. And we'll have to have someone guarding you while you're incapacitated, so then I'll have to pick up their slack as well to guard the Hokage." Naruto explained. "I'm not in the habit of doing people's jobs for them, so again, don't overdo it."

Zabuza and Anko shared a look, then turned back to Naruto, both smiling.

"Aww, you care!" they chorused.

Naruto's eye twitched. "Like I said, I don't want to pick up your slack. Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got to talk to the Raikage so he knows what to say to the next forty people that burst into his office in the next few minutes."

"Whatever you say, kid." Zabuza slapped Naruto on the back as the boy turned towards the broken window. "Whatever you say." the man turned back down the hall towards the living room, leaving Naruto to his newest self-appointed task.

Looking out of the broken window, Naruto noticed that even more shinobi were heading towards the Raikage's tower. There were easily over a hundred of them now.

"...Yay." Naruto muttered. Deciding it was best that they didn't see him walking up the side of the tower, Naruto stepped out of the light streaming in through the window and into the shadowed corner next to it.

(Raikage's Office)

Naruto arose from the shadow of a bookcase to the sound of two men laughing. Apparently, he'd just missed something that was quite humorous.

"Yes, Naruto?" the Hokage immediately acknowledged Naruto's presence, already knowing why he was there.

"Forgive me for interrupting, Hokage-sama," Naruto stepped out of the shadow and bowed, "but I felt it was important to tell you both not to be alarmed by the breaking of that window."

"I figured as much. Any particular reason for breaking the window? Or was it just a 'spur of the moment' kind of thing?"

"Do you remember our conversation about a certain girl?" Naruto dared not mention anything about the Hyūga clan while in Kumo.

"Yes."

"Well, things have escalated faster than I anticipated. What was a relatively minor problem has now turned into a rather huge one. I've sent my feathered companion back to Konoha to get things back under control."

The Sandaime rose an eyebrow. "How huge?"

"It could result in a situation similar to the 'Hospital Incident'. She's isolated at the moment, but that'll only last for so long."

"I see...What orders have you given your companion?"

"Primary objective is to find the girl and take her to a safe place until I return. Secondary objectives include subduing anyone or anything that would try to harm the girl."

"'Subduing'?"

"She will do what she must."

The eldest of the three males in the room nodded to the masked shinobi and sighed lightly. "Let's hope it doesn't come to that. I don't want entire squadrons of ANBU 'subdued', we may need them sooner rather than later." with Akatsuki apparently preparing to make their move, and Orochimaru developing a taste for mass destruction, Konoha would need her fighting forces to be ready for anything.

"Speaking of ANBU," Naruto turn to the Raikage, who practically had a question mark hovering above his head, "Raikage-sama, earlier today, before my training," he ignored the Raikage's small chuckle, "I discovered that I was being followed by an ANBU squad."

The leader of Kumogakure rose an eyebrow. "Hm? They weren't under orders from me, if that's what you're implying."

"I figured they weren't. I'm part of an elite group hand-picked by the Hokage to protect him in territory that's been considered extremely unfriendly since Konoha's founding. If you had sent someone to tail me, you would've chosen better ANBU for the job. That squad was quite pathetic."

"Did you get a good look at them?"

"I had them completely surrounded before they ran away. There were four them, masks: Goat, Boar, Bat and Turtle."

"That's Squad Fifteen..." the Raikage trailed off, scratching his chin in thought. "But why would they be following you? They're one of the few squads I _know_ I can trust. Except...Was there an ANBU with a Bear mask anywhere in the area?"

"If there was, he must have been a lot better than the others. I neither sensed nor saw anyone beyond those four."

"That doesn't bode well. Bear is their Captain, and if he wasn't with them, something's wrong." Kyuuzou leaned back in his chair and looked up at the ceiling. "I've had my suspicions about him for a while. Each time he comes into my office, he becomes nervous and can't maintain eye-contact with me."

"He's hiding something. Something he feels guilty about." Naruto, following the Raikage's logic.

"That's what I'm thinking."

"Perhaps he tried to harm your daughter in the past?" Sarutobi decided to put his own two ryō in.

"I thought so, too, at first. But then I saw the way he interacts with Yugito. Any nervousness or guilt is completely gone. I've even seen him flirt with her." Kyuuzou grumbled a bit after that last part.

"You're sure he wasn't just faking?" Naruto asked. Several people who'd tried to kill him when he was younger were now trying to get on his good side.

"If it wasn't for the way Yugito acted around him, I would've thought that as well. She recognizes everyone that's tried to harm her before, and I mean _everyone_. Maybe it has something to do with the Nibi?" Kyuuzou looked to Naruto, since he'd the authority on these types of things.

"If I can't go by visual identification, I use their scent or their chakra signature to pinpoint who my enemies are." Naruto told him, seeing no harm in giving out information that anyone could find out by reading a book on demons and human vessels.

"I suspect Yugito to be the same, and the information in her file confirms it. So whatever Bear-san is so nervous about has nothing to do with Yugito."

"Perhaps he's working for your Council and still has a conscience?" Sarutobi had some of those himself, and if Kumogakure's Council operated anything like Konoha's, the Hokage suspected he knew just what the situation with this ANBU Captain was.

"It's looking more and more likely. They could be blackmailing him, or holding his family hostage. Maybe he just owes a dept to a member of the Council, I don't know." Kyuuzou was actually talking more to himself than anything else. Verbalizing his thoughts helped him think, but it was extremely dangerous, as anyone could've been listening at anytime.

Fortunately, the right people just happened to hear him this time.

"Would you like to know?" Naruto asked, inwardly grinning at the opportunity presented to him. He now had a chance to perform an S-Class Escort mission and an A-Class Espionage mission all at once!

"Hm? Do you have something in mind?" Kyuuzou leaned forward. This boy would be perfect as a spy! Not only did he have impressive analytical skills, he'd already gotten into the Raikage's office twice without the man even noticing! No one had ever done that!

"Of course." Naruto nodded to the Raikage, then looked at the Hokage. "With your permission, Hokage-sama."

"Are you sure about this, Naruto? If you get caught, it'll be an international incident. This is the kind of activity that starts wars, so think about this very carefully." Sarutobi had every confidence in Naruto, but he had no idea what kind of obstacles he would be facing when spying on a high-level Kumo shinobi.

"Hokage-sama, forgive me for sounding arrogant, but I won't be caught." Naruto said with a small chuckle.

"Oh? How can you be so sure?" Sarutobi knew that sound all too well; the gears were turning and a plan was being formulated.

"Because, I won't be doing the spying." Naruto turned to the Raikage. "Just tell me where and when I can find him, and make sure he doesn't get sent out on any missions. If there's something to find, it will be found, and you'll be the first to know when it is."

(Meanwhile, With Kurohane)

Oh, how she wished she were her brother right now.

Kurohane had never been the fastest of the Ravens; that title went to her older brother, Sokudo, whom she suspected shared blood with one of the Bird of Prey clans. But still, moving at nearly two-hundred and fifty miles an hour would get her to Konoha in record time. Would it be enough time? She had no way of knowing, but that didn't stop her from hoping.

'Dammit, I need to go faster!' Kurohane thought as she remembered that she'd have to search on foot once she got to the forest. The canopy was far too thick to see anything from above, and Hinata's chakra signature would just blend in with the rest of the life forms in the forest, many of which were demonic.

Then something came to her. Something that made her want to smack herself into next week. She could just summon Sokudo to give her a ride! His maximum flying speed was at least three times greater than her own, which would cut a forty minute trip down to about thirteen minutes.

'I hope he's not busy.' Kurohane thought as she closed her eyes and allowed herself go into a glide while she concentrated on contacting her brother.

A few seconds later, she felt the air shift violently as something sliced through it at incredible speeds. Kurohane opened her eyes just in time to catch a small speck of black before it moved out of her field of vision.

'He overshot me, so he has to circle around.' Sokudo couldn't exactly stop on a dime, and had to slow down drastically to maneuver.

'What'sup,nee-chan?Whatdaya'need?' Sokudo had also mastered the art of telepathy, since the speeds he normally travelled at made it impossible to speak, or be heard(9).

It took Kurohane a couple seconds to process what her brother had just said, seeing as how he spoke and thought just as quickly as he moved.

'I've been giving a _very_ important task, and I need to get to the location as fast as possible.'

'Really?Whatkindoftask?'

'Rescue mission.'

'Oh, ,hoponandI'llgiveyouaride!' Sokudo lowered his altitude and slowed down so he was about fifty feet behind his sister.

Kurohane's bird form dissolved into black smoke, from which her human form dropped and landed perfectly on Sokudo's back.

'Thanks, Onii-san, you came through for me once again.' Kurohane hugged her brother around his neck.

'Noproblem,Nee-chan!Youknowyoucanalwayscountonme !' Sokudo said with a mental smile. 'So,wheredoyouneedtogo?'

'Just keep heading South, I need to get to the Forest of Death.'

'Whichone?' Sokudo asked, knowing that there were several forests in both the human world and Summon Realm that were known as the "Forest of Death".

'THE Forest of Death.' Kurohane clarified.

'Oh,thereallybigone.' the Forest of Death was the single largest and most dense forest in all of Fire Country. There were other forests dominated more square mileage than the Forest of Death, but they were all divided by territorial borders. No, the Forest of Death was all Konoha territory.

'Yeah, that one.' Kurohane looked the markings that were part of what made her brother so unique amongst her kind.

While his plumage was black, like all Ravens, he had four streaks of light grey running down his back, from his head to his tail feathers. The two large feathers sticking out of the back of his head were also light grey, as was the single body-length tail feather that he sported. But that wasn't all that made him one of the most unique of the Raven clan. In bird form, Sokudo really did look like a cross between a raven and a falcon. He had larger talons than most other Ravens, a more heavily muscled chest and a pointed, scythe-like wing shape.

In fact, besides his black coloring, the only part of him that gave him away as a Raven was his head, with the red eyes and the spear-like beak.

'I swear you're part Hawk, or something.' Kurohane thought to her brother.

'AndIswearyou'renaturallyblonde.' Sokudo chuckled at his younger sister's entertaining, though often troublesome, tendency to forget things. 'I'monlyyourhalf-brother,remember?'

'...No...' Kurohane blushed, quite embarrassed by her forgetfulness.

Sokudo gave a mental sigh. 'WhydoyouthinkFusenmeioftheFa lconclanissonicetome?'

Kurohane rubbed her chin as she remembered the times the older sister of the Falcon clan's current leader had doted over Sokudo, almost like she was...

'...She's your mother.'

'Bingo.' Sokudo confirmed. Before Lord Garandou had fallen for Kurohane's mother, he'd had flings with females from several bird clans, only one of which ever resulted in a child. Lord Misairu, the leader of the Falcon clan, hadn't been very pleased to hear about their relationship in the first place, so he was absolutely livid when he found out about the child. However, there was nothing he could do about it, since both Garandou and Fusenmei wanted the child. But Misairu got over it eventually. He even taught Sokudo how to use the capabilities his Falcon blood gave him, including quickly and properly slowing down for complex maneuvers, and even flying at Mach One and beyond.

'I'm sorry I forgot.'

'Don'tsweatit.I'mstillyourOnii-san,andthat'sallthatmatters.' the half-Raven gave the mental version of a thumbs-up. 'Now,holdontight,andpleasewarnmeifyou'regoingtohurl.' and with that, Sokudo shot off like a rocket, using a chakra shield to cut through the air, as well as protect himself and his passenger from it.

(Forest of Death)

In most places, a large pile of pulsating black muck would be a very strange sight. Something that seemed out of place anywhere that wasn't a sewer. But Konohagakure's Forest of Death, things like "strange" and "out of place" were terms that had very little meaning. What you had only seen once, someone else had seen a hundred times.

So how did you know when something was truly weird? When you'd travelled the forest from end to end, did battle with some of the fiercest creatures it had to offer, and ate nearly everything that couldn't put up a decent fight, yet you still couldn't tell what it was.

That was the case for the three male Giant Tigers that had stumbled upon the slimy black mass. They had no idea what to make of it, as it didn't look or smell like anything they'd ever encountered before. Even the leader of their group, a beast that stood seven feet tall at the shoulders, was twenty feet long including its tail, and weighed in at nearly two tons, had never come across something like this in his seventeen years of roaming this dense forest.

As all cats do when they encounter something new and interesting, the tigers wanted to get a closer look. They wanted to poke and prod at it to see its reaction, if it had one.

But there was just something about it that made them keep their distance, making them slowly circle it from thirty feet away. Their instincts actually told them to run, but their years of being on top of the food chain caused them to ignore those instincts. These tigers were not only bigger, stronger and faster than normal ones, they were also much more intelligent. With that intelligence came a better understanding and awareness of their power and abilities. And with this awareness came an ego. And, as is often the case, their arrogance would be their downfall.

Curiosity finally won out for the smallest of the tigers, and he stepped towards the black goo, intent on poking it to his heart's content. The leader gave a short warning growl, as if to say "I wouldn't do that if I were you", but the impulsive feline paid no heed and continued his "mission". Being the smallest of the group, only weighing twelve-hundred pounds, also made him the quickest and most nimble. If something did happen, he had the reflexes and the speed to get out of the way in time.

The tiger stopped five feet from the mass, his larger brother pacing near their leader, still very uneasy about the whole thing.

Reaching out with one huge paw, the tiger gently prodded the goo, then immediately jumped back ten feet. When the mass showed no reaction, he crept forward again, stopping at five feet and poking it a little harder, then jumping back again. No reaction. The tiger repeated this process two more times, each time poking the mass a bit harder than before.

It wasn't until he got impatient and took an actual swipe at it with his claws that it finally did something. It swiped back, with a long black arm, equipped with massive talons that scythed the tiger's lower jaw clean off. But before the beast could even howl in pain, two more arms sprang from the black muck and seized him by his thick neck, the huge hands wrapping around and completely cutting off both his air supply and circulation. Of course, the tiger didn't have long to worry about that. Seconds after grabbing him, a demon's maw erupted from the mass, latched onto what was left of his head with its wicked fangs, and crushed his skull with one mighty bite.

The remaining tigers, even the massive leader, could only look on in stunned silence as the "Runt" was killed with an ease that defied all of their experience. Normally, their prey had trouble even wounding one of them, especially the Runt, but now they'd run into something that could take them out in the blink of an eye.

And, apparently, it could devour them in the blink of an eye as well. After crushing the skull, the demon began to feast on the corpse, and had already eaten most of the ribcage, and its contents, in about ten seconds.

The Runt's brother didn't take to kindly to any of this, and proceeded to launch himself at the demon with a deafening roar that promised vengeance.

Maybe if he hadn't roared, he would've had the element of surprise on his side. Maybe. But the demon's head snapped up at the sound, four of its eyes locked onto the threat ahead. Within milliseconds, it calculated the rapidly shortening distance between itself and the threat, the speed of the threat, the speed of the wind and how much force it would need to apply to accomplish the next task.

Rearing its head back, the demon inhaled deeply, then brought its head forward and exhaled violently, shooting out a ball of white slime. However, after coming into contact with the air, the ball solidified and unfurled, revealing it to be a net of sorts. The projectile was unleashed right when the giant tiger took to the air to pounce on the demon, leaving the beast no possible way to avoid being captured.

When the tiger and the net met in midair, it was like the tiger had collided with a tree. Its two-thousand pound frame was knocked from the air by the force of the impact and it quickly became entangled in the incredibly sticky, incredibly strong net. But that wasn't the end of the tiger's problems. This demon, like other Onigumo, could produce different kinds of silk for different purposes. They could produce a web for capturing prey, as well as one for killing it at the same time. Guess which one this demon used.

The tiger yowled and writhed in agony as the web strands began to burn through his fur and skin, leaving smoldering lacerations that went all the way to the bone. Some of the thicker strands didn't stop there, dissolving the bone and continuing through the flesh.

The demon simply snorted and returned to its meal, leaving the foolish feline to its unimaginably painful demise. But it didn't ignore the largest threat, oh no. The two pairs of eyes on its forehead were watching the leader, waiting for it to make a move.

What the move would be, not even the last of the giant tigers knew. He was struggling with himself now, his instincts at war with his pride. Run or fight? Flee and live to lead a new group, or seek vengeance and possibly die in the act? He hadn't run from a fight since his cub years, but very little had ever been a legitimate threat to his life since his younger years. Whatever this thing was, it was unlike anything he'd ever encountered before. It was strong, fast, and had already shown that it possessed abilities that the tiger couldn't match or counter.

Despite their massive size and gifted minds, the giant tigers were just that; Giant Tigers. They weren't demons or other supernatural begins, they had just evolved in an area where being bigger, stronger and/or smarter than everyone else were some of the main keys to survival.

So, for the first time in thirteen years, the second largest feline in the Forest of Death decided that running would be the best course of action, and took off deeper into the forest.

The demon looked up and snorted again, disappointed that the enemy's survival instincts had gotten the better of it. Looking down, the demon saw that it had already eaten its prey all the way down to its tail, bones and all. Though not very appetizing, nutrients were nutrients, so the demon held the tail above its head, opened his mouth and swallowed the appendage whole.

Now it was time to do some exploring. Slowly, the tar-like slime gathered over the creature's entire form, then solidified to form the exoskeleton that would serve as near-impenetrable armor. The upper body of a human female, the lower body of a massive spider; this was the demon form of one, Hinata Hyūga. In this form, desires repressed while she was a human were no longer held back, including her curiosity. The neophobia was gone, and there were a lot of strange sounds, smells and sights to check out.

(With Kurohane)

Flying through the air at over seven-hundred miles an hour wasn't as terrifying as Kurohane thought it would be. With the chakra shield protecting her from the violent winds and muffling a lot of the noise, the experience was actually quite pleasant. But it wasn't long before she spied her target area.

'Slow down, Onii-san, this is where I get off. The canopy's too thick to see anything from above, so I'll have to search on foot from here.' Kurohane told her half-brother.

'Surething,Nee-chan!Justcallmeifyouneedanymorehe lp!' Sokudo slowed down to a crawl, about eighty miles an hour, to let his half-sister off.

'Thanks, Onii-san, I owe you one!' Kurohane gave the Raven/Falcon hybrid a kiss on the top of his head before she pushed off of his back and went into a freefall to the forest below.

On the way down, she transformed into her smaller bird form and started to glide over the trees, looking for a suitable place to land. A place where she wouldn't be immediately attacked. However, finding such an area in the Forest of Death was...difficult, at best. Especially when you didn't know what was capable of attacking you.

'Wait a minute...Why not just go through the entrance to the forest in Konoha? That's most likely where Hinata came in anyway, so I might be able to pick up her trail from there.' Kurohane wanted to smack herself again for not thinking of that in the first place, but she had a job to do. There would be time for self-harm later.

It took the Raven Princess only forty-five seconds to find the entrance to the forest, which was, strangely and fortunately, unguarded. This allowed Kurohane to fly in undetected and begin her search.

Perching on a branch, Kurohane thought of the most effective way of tracking the girl. Scent was out of the question, even though Hinata did have a unique lavender smell about her. But in order for Kurohane to pick up a trail, it would have to be extremely fresh, only a couple of minutes old at the most. Hell, all five of her normal senses weren't viable options, but she did have two other senses that could be of use. She could sense chakra, just like all Summon Animals, but her clan possessed a seventh sense that was nearly impossible to hide from; they could sense the very souls of their quarry.

However, there was a way to remain undetected, and that was to hide amongst several high-level souls. Unfortunately for Kurohane, the Forest of Death just happened to be home to hundreds of different beings with high-level souls, most of which were demonic. Fortunately, none of them had the human element to them that Hinata's would have. But, in order to sense that difference, Kurohane would need to be fairly close to Hinata; within five-hundred yards. To get that close, she'd need to follow the girl's chakra trail, which she picked up easily.

'This trail is less than a half hour old at this point, so she may not be that far away.' Kurohane thought, but then remembered just how fast ninjas could travel. 'Given, she's nowhere near as fast as Naruto, Anko or Zabuza; hell, she's not even as fast as Haku. But she should still be able to cover a decent amount of ground, especially with demonic enhancement.' and she was using demonic enhancement, as her chakra trail was tainted with fairly high amounts of youki.

But that didn't really matter. Kurohane may not have been as fast as Sokudo, but she could outpace Naruto himself if she wanted to, so Hinata would provide little challenge as long as Kurohane could stay on her trail.

'Oh well, I guess this is a chance to improve my tracking skills.' plus, she was hungry. But this was a kind of hunger that no food could quell; a hunger tied to her true purpose as a Raven. Just like Naruto's sword, Ravens needed to devour souls in order to function in top form. Kurohane hadn't "fed" ever since she entered the human world, as she had no need to, since she "stocked up" in the Summon Realm. She only needed a few souls to bring her back to full power, but if she could find one good one, she'd be set for a couple months, as long as she didn't make extensive use of her powers.

Kurohane followed the trail for a good five minutes, moving slower than Hinata had herself so she could keep on it. She had to admit, Hinata's training was certainly showing, as she'd reduced her natural chakra output significantly. It was almost like Kurohane was following an above-average civilian rather than a fairly powerful and skilled Genin.

Unfortunately, this made her much harder to track, but Kurohane enjoyed the challenge all the same.

Then she smelled it; blood. Very fresh blood. She couldn't tell if it was human or not, but what scared her was that Hinata's chakra trail appeared to be taking her right to the source of the scent. Kurohane picked up the pace, the trail be damned. She could find it again after she confirmed that it wasn't Hinata that was bleeding out.

In only ten seconds, Kurohane came to the clearing Hinata had vacated just minutes before, and bore witness to the aftermath of her little "lunch break". A large patch of crimson-stained grass and a huge, bubbling mass that looked like a rotting chunk of whale blubber were all that remained. Thankfully, there was no Hinata. Frustratingly, there was no Hinata.

Plus, the entire clearing was absolutely saturated with youki. Such high levels of energy were usually associated with the arrival of a powerful demon travelling from one realm to another, often through a form of teleportation much like the Shadow Walk, in which they would enter a kind of "Mirror Realm" where time travelled much faster. This allowed them to traverse great distances over the course of hours or even days, then open a portal back to the normal realm, where it would seem that they'd travelled hundreds of miles in seconds.

The fact was that "teleportation" was rarely, if ever, what it appeared to be.

But high levels of youki were also associated with demonic transformations, usually resulting from a demon breaking a disguise to reveal its true form. But either way, Kurohane now had a much stronger trail to follow. However, at the end of that trail would be a far stronger, far more unpredictable potential foe.

Before following that trail, however, there was one important matter to attend to. Whatever had been killed in the clearing, there had been two of them, and that both had high-level souls.

"Well, they obviously don't need them anymore." Kurohane said as she once again changed into her human form and summoned her scythe. She didn't like ripping the souls out of living beings, like her father and most of her brothers did, but she was always happy to "eat" the disembodied, non-sentient souls that often lingered in the area of their body's demise.

The ethereal green glow of the scythe's "eyes" were the only indication that anything had happened, aside from a small discharge of energy. But Kurohane could see both souls, which looked like relatively large orbs with vapor trails, being drawn into the blade to "restock" her reserves. Now recharged and feeling ready to take on anything short of a Demon Lord, Kurohane picked up a strong youki trail heading deeper into the forest and followed it. Unlike Hinata, Kurohane had paid attention to the signs on her way in, and reasoned that getting to Hinata before she stumbled into the S-Class sector of the forest would make her task much easier.

The trail was fairly fresh, and it appeared that whatever made it wasn't moving very fast, so catching up would be an easy matter. Upon closer inspection, Kurohane confirmed that she was following Hinata, as the composition of the lingering energy, while mostly demonic, had distinct human qualities. So, unless there was another hanyou in the area, which was highly unlikely, this trail would take her straight to Hinata, and since it was so strong, she didn't have to restrict her speed to keep from losing it.

'This is surprisingly easy. I thought this was supposed to be the most dangerous place in all of Fire Country, so why haven't I been attacked by something?' she heard a series of weird clicking noises coming from the trees above. Looking up, she was greeted with the site of dozens of giant centipedes, all looking like they, quite literally, wanted a piece of her.

'..."Ask, and ye shall receive"...' Kurohane sighed and readied her scythe. "So, who's first?"

Eleven of them were the first to accept the invitation.

(With Hinata)

Nearly a mile away from the clearing, Demon Hinata was quickly becoming bored. There may have been a lot to explore, but this area didn't seem to have much worth checking out. The plants were all relatively normal and only one of them produced a scent that caught her attention. It smelled of lavender and honey, drawing her, and several other creatures, like a moth to a flame. However, when she tried to get a closer sniff, the plant had shown itself to be a carnivore and sent out numerous vines to ensnare her. But, in the end, the vines were no match for her strength, and the plant itself was no match for her acidic projectile webbing. It even smelled nice while burning.

That was the only form of entertainment she'd had ever since the cats, as the creatures of the forest seemed to be keeping their distance from her. Every now and then, she could sense, and sometimes even see and/or hear animals heading in her direction. But, once they got close enough to feel her presence, they promptly turned tail and moved very quickly back the way they came. It was irritating, to say the least.

Once it had emerged, Hinata's demon side had been running on instinct. The instinct to feed and to defend itself and its kill. But, now that its hunger was sated and the threats were taken care of, the instincts were waning and Hinata's secondary personality, so-called "Inner Hinata", was starting to take over. She was still having trouble understanding all but the most basic of concepts. She could grasp the concept of names, and possibly even put faces to them if prompted to. But more complex terms and definitions escaped her.

As a human, Hinata could identify hundreds, even thousands of examples of flora and fauna. But as a demon, at least for the time being, she could barely understand the basic differences between plants and animals. As far as she was concerned, blood was the determining factor. Animals bled when she pierced their surfaces, as she'd experienced with the big cats. The plants she'd encountered also leaked liquids when pierced, but even her instincts told her that it wasn't blood.

The more she wandered, and the more she saw, smelled and touched, the more she began to understand. Everytime she laid eyes on a new plant or came across a new scent, images and words would rush into her mind, telling her what the object of interest was. So far, she now knew what a Tiger, a tree and a fern was. After her encounter with the carnivorous plant, she also knew what lavender, honey and vines were.

She didn't yet understand the concept of chakra, youki or how to control either. Otherwise, she might have realized that her high youki output was the reason the local wildlife was avoiding her. But just because they were avoiding her, didn't mean they were avoiding each other.

Like all normal spiders, Onigumo were highly sensitive to vibrations, and what Hinata had become was no exception. She stopped in her tracks when she felt small erratic tremors in the ground. Something was definitely going on, and there were several beings involved.

'...Fight...' the word popped into her head, and with it came several images and feelings. A boy with long brown hair and white eyes scowling at her, then pain as his hands flew at her too fast to see. 'Neji...' the name brought a snarl to her lips.

Then came images of a purple-haired woman wearing a mesh shirt with an orange skirt and a tan trenchcoat. Beside her was a boy just slightly shorter than her with wildly spiky blonde hair, a decorated white mask covering his face, and a pulsating cloak covering the rest of his body. Fear overwhelmed her as the two shared a look, then vanished right before her eyes. Then came the crippling pain, but it was different than the experience with Neji. Instead of sorrow and a feeling of uselessness, she felt nothing but determination now; the all-consuming desire to prove herself to these two powerful beings.

'...Anko...Sensei...Naruto...Master...' with these names and the faces now attached to them, she was one step closer to figuring out who she was.

But these thoughts were put on the backburner for now. With the word "fight" came numerous definitions, one of which was "A form of entertainment for some". One of the few concepts Demon Hinata completely understood was entertainment; it's what she had been searching for ever since she left the clearing. And speaking of the clearing, the vibrations seemed to be coming from that direction.

With the promise of entertainment at the forefront of her thoughts, Demon Hinata took to the trees and made a bee-line for the clearing. As with normal spiders, large size didn't mean lack of speed. Quite the contrary, as the quickest spiders were often fairly large, such as Huntsmen. Even with only four legs to work with, Demon Hinata was no slouch in the speed department. It took her just thirty seconds to reach the clearing she'd come from.

Once there, she stopped at the tree line and looked out to confirm what has happening. Sure enough, there was a battle taking place, between a black-clad human female wielding a weapon she recognized as a scythe, and about twenty giant segmented worm-like creatures that she knew to be centipedes. She appeared to be winning, her weapon proving to be formidable as both a tool for cutting as well as crushing. But it also seemed that the constant waves of enemies were getting to her. There were several dozen centipede corpses, or at least pieces of them, strewn all around the clearing, and more were being added by the second.

Moving closer, Demon Hinata caught a whiff of the human's scent and realized two things. One, the female wasn't human; and two, it was someone she knew.

'...Kurohane...' a bit of animosity came along with the name and the face now attached to it, but two other notions also came along. '...Friend...Protect...' yes, this Kurohane was a friend. Maybe not her friend, per se, maybe a friend of a friend. For some reason, this thought heightened the animosity, but it also strengthened the desire to keep her safe. '...Protect.' and with that final thought and a vicious snarl, Demon Hinata leapt into action.

(With Kurohane)

'Maybe I should've just run away...' Kurohane thought as she sliced through another centipede, careful not to miss its head. She'd learned the hard way that if you just cut these creatures up without destroying the head, it, and any segments still attached to it, would continue to pursue and attack.

What really sucked was that she couldn't use her full power to deal with all of these things in one fell swoop. Not only would she run the risk of attracted more inhabitants of the forest, she would also assuredly bring half of Konoha's shinobi force down on her head. But if she didn't do something soon, she was going to end up as an afternoon snack for a horde of oversized bugs.

'Damned if I do, damned if I don't.' Kurohane thought with a grimace. She was well out of her depth in this situation. This required her to be able to think quickly and clearly in the midst of a crisis, something she was never good at. She also had an embarrassing secret that was now coming back to haunt her; she didn't know how to make clones.

During her school days, she'd spaced out quite a lot, more than she ever told anyone, including her father. Most of the mechanics behind elemental manipulation also went right over her head while she was either snoring or daydreaming in class. That meant that she couldn't create a "twin" to help her fight, nor could she electrocute or burn them. And even if she could, fire might've done more harm than good in the long run. It was certain to draw ninja from Konoha, and Kurohane couldn't just wave her hand and quell the flames like Naruto could.

And these massive bugs were evidence of the reason she would need to quell the flames right away. In a forest this dense, with trees this large, oxygen was extremely abundant. This meant that even the normal animals could reach tremendous sizes without supernatural influences. This also meant that fires could burn with far greater intensity here than they could elsewhere. In fact, this was one of the main reasons for the entire tropical region being called Fire Country.

So, going all-out wasn't an option, and neither were elemental attacks or clones to help her fight. Maybe she could call Sokudo? But to do that, she'd need to concentrate for at least two seconds. These creatures only needed one to eviscerate her.

'I...I won't fail! I _can't_ fail!' Kurohane's eyes began to glow crimson, as did the eyes on the scythe's blade. Consequences be damned, she would complete her mission and destroy anything that tried to hinder her. Giant centipedes or Konoha shinobi, it didn't matter, she would cut them down all the same if they stood in her way.

Naruto would be proud.

Fortunately, the full extent of her power wouldn't be needed. Just as a centipede lunged at her from behind, it was snatched right out of the air and its head was crushed by a monstrous black hand.

Announcing her presence with a terrible roar, Demon Hinata entered the fray and began tearing through the centipedes at a frightening rate. She killed more of them in twenty seconds than Kurohane had in two minutes, mostly because she had no need to worry about defense. Not only could the giant chilopods' fangs and sharp legs not penetrate her armor, her body produced a variety of its own toxins, making her immune to the centipedes' venom.

Once the bugs finally realized that they were now losing, their tiny, primitive brains switched over from predation to defense and they focused their attention onto the largest threat. This enabled Kurohane to take a rest and watch the fantastic display of physical dominance. The demon needed no weapons beyond its own talons and ponderous strength to mow down anything in its path.

Thick, yellowish fluid continuously flew through the air, leaking from every vicious wound suffered by the chilopods. It also covered the demonic half-spider, dripping from its claws, mouth, legs and everything in between.

And strangely, beyond the joy of slaughter, the only thought that ran through Demon Hinata's mind was how difficult getting the bug blood out of her hair was going to be.

It was over in a minute. A single minute was all Demon Hinata had needed to kill sixty-three giant centipedes. It would've been seventy-one, but the last eight had retreated, their brains finally switching from defense to survival. Now she stood in the center of the clearing, panting lightly, hands twitching and teeth still bared in a malevolent grin.

This had been more than just entertaining; it was _intoxicating_! The sights, the sounds, the smells, the taste, the sheer rush; the thrill of the kill!

Kill...That word brought with it more emotions than anything else she'd remembered, and they were all conflicting with one another. Disgust struggled against pleasure, hatred fought against joy. Rage versus remorse, bloodlust versus compassion; sadism versus humanity. With these emotional struggles came a more developed sense of self for Demon Hinata. She was someone that hated bloodshed, while craving it at the same time. Someone that didn't like to fight, yet took a perverse pleasure in tearing her enemies apart.

As a demon, Hinata and her Inner Self were combined, yet one side still struggled for individuality against the other. Even though she wasn't conscious, Hinata didn't want to become a bloodthirsty monster. Inner Hinata had no inhibitions, no self-imposed limitations when it came to expressing herself. Where Hinata would take anything that Neji gave her without seeking retribution, Inner Hinata wouldn't hesitate to feed the boy his own liver. Years of conditioning and her own sense of morality prevented Hinata from accepting the union.

She may have admired the likes of Anko and Naruto, but she couldn't operate the way they could. They, like most shinobi, it seemed, had some kind of switch in their minds. With this switch, they could go from "normal" to "killing machine" in the blink of an eye, then go back to "normal" once their mission was done. It never seemed to bother them even if they'd slaughtered dozens of people, they would carry on like nothing ever happened. Hinata didn't believe that she had this switch.

She was afraid that once she went into "killing machine" mode, she wouldn't be able to go back. The thought of killing had always brought a sense of loathing to Hinata, even if the person being killed deserved every bit of pain involved in their demise. And what she feared more than anything else was that day that she would cease to hate killing, and come to enjoy it. She just knew that there would be no turning back for her when that moment came. She wasn't like Naruto or Anko, or any of the other ninja experienced in art of ending lives. She wasn't a strong as them, she wouldn't be able to handle it and she would snap. Then another monster would be unleashed upon the world.

But maybe that monster had already been unleashed. Was she not enjoying snuffing out lives at this very moment? Sure, they were only bugs, but would she have been more merciful to human enemies? No. The mere thought of red blood, _real_ blood, just got her more excited.

Demon Hinata suddenly shrieked and clutched her head with her upper pair of arms. It felt like her brain was trying to tear itself apart, and, in a way, it was. Even on a subconscious level, the conflicting emotions and ideals scared the hell out of Hinata. The fact that there were conflicts in the first place meant that something was wrong. In her mind, killing was something to detest, even if it was necessary. If anything conflicted with that, there was a definite problem. She didn't enjoy killing, she couldn't enjoy killing; she _wouldn't_ enjoy killing. And so, the struggle for individuality, for separation, intensified.

And Kurohane stood just yards away, silently watching the demon before her with a combination of fascination and horror. Naruto had told her Hinata had turned into an Onigumo, but _this_ was truly unexpected. She the creature before her was known as a Drider in her world, though she had no idea what they were called in the human realm. But this one was unlike any that she'd ever seen or heard about before.

The species was split into two main classes based on their behavior and how they lived; Terra Driders encompassed the ground-dwellers that didn't build webs, and Textus Driders were those that lived most of their lives in their webs, rarely coming to ground-level. With the exception of some Terra Driders, this species of demon wasn't particularly strong, in the physical sense, anyway. The most common type, known as "Weavers", preferred to incapacitate prey or opponents with their webs, then inject their caustic, enzyme-laden venom into the victim and wait for it to die before proceeding to feed on it. Tarantula Driders, commonly called "Heavies" because of their bulk, were different, as the webbing their produced wasn't very strong, so they favored more physical approaches, ranging from ambush tactics, to full-on berserker splatter-fests. These types of Driders had heavier armor to protect them as well, with a thick exoskeleton covered in steel-like hair.

But this Drider was unique. It had the thick exoskeleton, but it was glossy and free of any visible hair beyond the pointy "fuzz" on its backside, just like the weaker Driders. It had hands like the Tarantulas, too; huge and lethal, as opposed to the smaller, sleeker hands of other Driders, who mostly use them for delicate web-working between feeding. But this Drider had four fingers on each hand, while Tarantula hands usually only had two fingers, three at the most. Weaker Driders had four or five fingers, sometimes even six, to be more efficient at manipulating their webbing. It also had the sharp, spear-like legs that were typical of the weaker, web-dwelling Driders, but the thickness and size of the legs was more in-line with Tarantula Driders.

The larger Driders had thick, widely spaced legs that enabled them to travel over soft ground without sinking into it, even with their weight. This Drider looked pretty robust, so how it wasn't sinking into the now-muddy blood-soaked ground with those pointed legs was a mystery to Kurohane. But what she did know was that this..._thing_ was exactly who she was sent to look for.

"...Hinata?" Kurohane took a slow step forward, not knowing what to expect from the demon.

That single word started a chain reaction within Demon Hinata's mind. Suddenly everything came rushing back to her and Hinata's conscious mind took over, forcing Inner Hinata back into subordinance. But she didn't mind, for this was the beginning of something beautiful. Hinata would finally recognize and embrace all that Inner Hinata represented, and she would finally be herself. The girl had spent her whole life being what others wanted her to be, but once all was said and done, she would finally be her own person.

But Hinata wasn't concerned with "breaking her mold", so to speak. Her thoughts were firmly centered on the crippling pain shooting through her head. She'd had a migraine once, and experience she ranked as one of the worst in her life, as it left her unable to even think, let alone do anything but cry and whimper. That was _nothing_ compared to what she was feeling now. Naruto had helped her with the physical pain of her transformation by, for lack of a better term, manipulating her mind. But, now that her mind was the problem, there was nothing he could do for her.

So, Hinata did the only thing she could; she screamed.

And what a scream it was! Kurohane fell to her knees and covered her ears as the very ground beneath her shook with the force of a moderate earthquake.

'I expended all that effort so I wouldn't draw any unwanted attention, then she goes and does this! Naruto-kun, you'd better have on hell of a reward for me when this is over!'

Hinata's scream died as the pain dwindled into a dull ache that she could ignore. But now that she was in control, she felt strangely...out of control, almost like she'd forgotten how to move her own body. To test it out, she tried to move her right arm and succeeded...in moving her _other_ right arm. Her other, massive, armored, talon-tipped right arm. Her mind went into overdrive once again as she looked around in a panic.

'Why am I four feet too tall?! What's with my arms, why are there four of them?! My legs! What happened to my legs?! WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?!' Hinata mentally raged, then noticed that any words she tried to speak came out as roars and growls. 'Wait a minute...That _thing_ that attacked Naruto-sama...I-I've turned into...' these new revelations too much for her mind to handle at the moment, Hinata let out another ear-splitting scream.

'Dammit! Well, Naruto-kun did say I could subdue her if I had to...Sorry, Hinata.' Kurohane's form seemed to waver like a heat shimmer, then she disappeared, only to reappear just behind Hinata. After taking careful aim, Kurohane swung her scythe in a wide arc directly at Hinata's head. The snaith, opposite the blade, impacted against the back of Hinata's neck just below the exoskeleton "helmet". Her scream was immediately silenced as all four of her legs gave out and she collapsed.

(Forest of Death, A-Class Sector, Outpost Twelve)

From the D to A-Class sectors of the forest, there were numerous outposts set up, each with a team comprised of at least six ANBU and/or Jōnin. They were there to monitor the forest and all of the inhabitants of their respective areas and catalogue new species whenever they popped up. They were also assigned to make sure that low-level ninja or civilians didn't "wander" into the forest, or escort them out if they did.

However, they rarely got the chance to perform that second part of their job. People hardly ever "wandered" into the forest unless they weren't from Konoha and were approaching from the South. And when that was the case, the "wanderers" were usually shit out of luck. While there were outposts to the South, they were few and far between compared to the North. So, by the time any help came for them, it was usually too late.

But, as far as cataloging new species went, they did that all the time, and it looked like they were going to do it again today. A roar had just reverberated through the forest, and no one at Outpost Twelve had ever heard anything like it before.

"Hey, Keito! Did you hear that?" an ANBU with a horse mask hanging on the side of his head burst through his Captain's door.

"Dammit, Naisho, would it kill you to knock every once in a while?!" Captain Keito, who'd been reading a book before his subordinate had barged in, shook his head with a sigh. "Yeah, I heard it. I think everyone, and everything, in the forest did."

Naisho nodded. "Are...Are we going to check it out?" he didn't even know why he was asking, since the answer was always the same.

"Do you want to?" Keito asked, putting his book down on the table next to his leopard mask.

"Not in the least." Naisho answered, surprised by the Captain's reply. Maybe they could just leave it to another team this time!

"Well, tough shit. I don't want to go either, but it's our job, so we gotta do it. Now, shut up, put on your mask and go get the others; we're moving out." Keito ordered, attaching the mask to his face with chakra.

Naisho sighed before doing the same. "Understood, sir." he bowed, then disappeared in a puff of smoke.

Keito looked out of the window in his room, his sharp eyes scanning the tree line around the outpost. He really didn't want to do this, at least not without back up from another outpost. But the closest outpost was ten miles away. However, if that roar was as loud as he thought it was, there could've been two or three outpost teams heading to the source at this very moment.

"We'll probably need all the help we can get." the last time a roar of that magnitude was heard, a demon had emerged near the S-Class sector of the forest. It had taken five outpost teams to take it down, and each team lost no less than two men.

Outpost Fourteen had lost five members, and the only survivor was forced to retire because of his injuries. That had been three years ago, and since then, most of the surviving shinobi that had participated in the battle had either retired or transferred out of their outpost team.

"And here I was, getting used to the downtime." Keito took one last longing look at his book, then turned on his heel and walked out of his room, closing the door behind him.

(With Kurohane)

She could feel them; well over a dozen high-level shinobi were on their way to her location. She expected a response, but not one this quick or with that many warriors.

"They don't waste any time, do they?" she had to act fast, otherwise she'd probably have to kill them. Hinata was still breathing, and with Konoha's history with demons, she doubted the ninja would accept that. Kurohane also didn't know how to erase memories, so just knocking them all out wouldn't be enough. Besides, she wouldn't be able to take on that many high-level shinobi without using her full strength, and that would just make things worse.

She had only one chance to get out of the area with Hinata without anyone ever finding out; the Shadow Walk. She needed to get to Naruto's apartment complex, which was actually only two and a half miles from the Forest of Death. However, that was two and a half that Kurohane would have to travel in seconds to avoid Hinata being ejected out of the Shadow Realm. She needed to concentrate to make that trip in one go, but time wasn't on her side in any respect. She doubted she had the time she'd need to properly focus on her destination, and she knew she'd have next to no time once she entered the portal with Hinata.

This mission was turning out to be very difficult; a test of all her abilities. But, thus far, it was mainly a test of her mental faculties. How quickly she could perceive a problem and find a solution. This brought her most glaring flaws to the forefront and basically forced her to better herself at a moment's notice. But she'd risen to the challenge each time, and now would be no different.

Steeling her resolve, Kurohane placed a hand on one of Hinata's legs and closed her eyes. In seconds she had her mind's eye locked onto Naruto's apartment and felt enough confidence in her focus to open a portal under herself and her passenger. In a total of only seven seconds, both Kurohane and girl-turned-demon sank into the shadow below them and disappeared. The carnage they left behind served as the only indication that they had ever been there in the first place.

"What the FUCK?!" one of the ANBU yelled as he crept into the clearing. He was soon followed by another, then another, and yet another. Eventually, the clearing was buzzing with no less than twenty-five ANBU, each one just as bewildered as the last.

"If whatever made that noise did all this...I'm damn glad we didn't run into it." the bull-masked ANBU, Naisho, stepped up to his Captain.

"No arguments here." Keito said as he scanned the clearing, attempting to count how many giant centipedes had been killed. However, since the clearing was absolutely littered with severed segments, most of which were around the same size, it was next to impossible to get a clear picture of how many individuals there were. "I don't know what's worse, the fact that there were this many centipedes on one place; or the fact that something was strong enough to take them all on and come out on top."

The giant centipedes were normally solitary animals, but did travel and hunt in packs of up to a dozen on occasion. But there was certainly more than twelve individuals in this bloodbath, and there were probably others that got away. A pack this large could've taken down pretty much anything they wanted.

'At least, that used to be the case...' Keito thought. The whole situation was putting him on edge. So much so, that he nearly jumped out of his skin when he felt something rub against his left leg.

"Merrrow..." came the greeting as Keito looked down to see none other than Tora the Cat rubbing the side of his head up against the ANBU's boots.

Keito picked the feline up by the scruff of its neck and held it up in front of his face, glaring at it from behind his mask.

Naisho gave the cat an identical glare, as did every other ANBU that laid eyes on it.

"...How the hell did _IT_ manage to survive this far into the forest?!" Naisho had to physically restrain his right arm from reaching for the sword on his back. He had many memories of Lady Shijimi's cat, and none of them were fond.

"The same way it managed to survive being suffocated, poisoned, drowned and set on fire...This _Thing_ is evil...Pure. Fucking. _Evil_." Keito hissed.

"Merrrow..." the cat seemed to grin at the ANBU Captain as it gently pawed at his mask.

XXXX

And there you have it. Some of you may label this as "Filler", but it serves to move the story along, even if the main focus isn't entirely on Naruto himself. But don't worry, Naruto, in all his ass-kicking glory, will be back in the spotlight soon enough

Also...For the first time ever, Drider Hinata! At least, I think it's the first time ever, as I've never seen it before, anywhere.

(1) Can you tell me where this comes from?

(2) While writing this, I kept thinking of Kiba having a New Jersey-ish accent, so that's the reason for the informal contractions.

(3) I have no idea where the Inuzuka and the Aburame compounds actually are within Konoha, but for the sake of the story, they're in the Eastern and Western sectors of the village, respectively.

(4) 'Tis nature's way. Many toxic animals(be they venomous or poisonous)have bright markings that serve as highly visible warnings to potential predators.

(5) The Gentle Fist, just like the Orasu's Blood Fist, is almost completely ineffective against Naruto. You might be able to slow him down a bit, but otherwise you're just going to piss him off. It's kinda like shooting a charging 800lb Grizzly Bear with a .22 rifle. You'll cause it some pain, and might even make it flinch; but you ain't gonna stop it(I'm anticipating some wiseass talking about shooting it in the eye).

(6) I believe, at least in the anime, Tora is female and has dark brown fur with lighter stripes running up its back to the top of its head. In this story, it's male, and the stripes are white instead of light brown.

(7) I'm sure all of you do...

(8) All together now: Awwwwww...

(9) I didn't use spaces for Sokudo's dialogue so you could get a sense of just how quickly he spoke/thought. Let me know if you've got problems with this, and I'll change it if enough of you feel the same way.

Okay, people, that's it for now. As usual, don't hesitate to ask questions(within reason), as I'll answer them to the best of my abilities. And once again, thank you all for your patience.

Jason Out!


	33. The Sandwich is a Lie!

What's up, people? I'm back with the update you've all been waiting for!(if you don't really care about why it took so long and all, just skip down to the quad X's)

Unfortunately, it's not the _entire_ update you've been waiting for; roughly a third of it. You see, after this chapter, I planned on going back to the shorter chapters(between 8K and 10K wordcounts). It may not give you all as much to read at on time, but it'll be easier on me, and will allow me to updated at shorter, more consistent intervals(I hope). Right now, I've got enough written for about three chapters of this size, and if I update, say, every 1.5/2 weeks, that means I've basically got up to six weeks completely free to work on other things, and/or properly work out all the ideas I've got for Black Flames.

This was going to be the last of the 20K+ word chapters(at least for a while), but, as usual, things came up. I won't go into detail, but it mostly has to do with an aunt of mine that's been going through a messy divorce for a while now. I'm not going to tell all her business, but she does have some, ahem, "issues" that have yet to be worked out. These "issues" cause her to be extremely confrontational. According to my mother, she's always been like that, and it appears as though my aunt can't live a "tame" life; she NEEDS constant drama.

Long story short, she royally pissed her ex-husband off, and now he's, quite literally, left her with nothing. You see, she made the mistake of allowing him to work out ALL the paperwork throughout their relationship. Don't ask me how he managed it without a prenuptial agreement, but the guy put her out on the street with little more than her car, her dog, and the clothes on her back. And she barely kept the dog.

So, as it always happens, a the family member in need comes crying to me. I almost took the "easy" way out and let her live with me until she could get back on her feet(which won't be for a while, as her "issues" tend to prevent her from holding a steady source of income). But the "easy way" ain't so easy when you think about it. As you guys know, I don't live alone. I can just barely tolerate my aunt's behavior at times, so I damn sure don't expect people that have only met her, like, three times to stand it. So, now I'm stuck doing three things: helping her find a job, helping her find an apartment, and helping her with her therapy.

On top of that, I'm also looking after her hellspawn of a lap dog(I'm also looking after another aunt's dog while she's in Arizona). Between all this crap, I've had very little free time, and when I do, the last thing on my mind is writing. Hell, the only good thing to come out of this, in my opinion, is that I finally got my "issues" aunt to get rid of that terrible 2005 Chevy Cobalt, and bought her a 2008 Chevy Malibu.

And there you have it, the other reason why I'm changing my style(what little I had, anyway). Shortening my chapters and already having multiple updates on standby enables me to deal with anything that comes up, and still update at a set time. Why didn't I think of this sooner? I did, but I just never employed it. Yeah, I know, I've already got a Dunce Cap on(no joke, I'm seriously wearing a dunce cap as I'm typing this).

Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy chapter thirty-two of Black Flames! Yes, I know it's really regarded as chapter thirty-three, but I'm not counting my "Message to the Fans" as a chapter.

XXXX

(Naruto's Apartment)

With the blinds drawn and every light turned off, the apartment was completely shrouded in darkness. This made opening a large Shadow Realm portal a fairly simple task. It was perfect for Kurohane, as she wouldn't have to waste precious time concentrating to open a portal large enough to fit both herself and Hinata through. This allowed her to narrowly avoid being forcefully ejected into some random location. However, once the portal to the apartment opened, Hinata was still pushed out with enough force to cause her to nearly hit the ceiling. Her weight saved her from that fate. But Kurohane, who'd been hanging onto Hinata, wasn't so lucky.

"Ow..." the leather-clad Familiar groaned as she stood up. "Well, at least we made it." any thoughts of celebration were halted by an oddly insightful realization on Kurohane's part.

Naruto's traps used a chakra detection system to identify intruders, and could be calibrated to accept certain people through without going off. Kurohane knew that list was very small, but it obviously included herself and Hinata. However, now that Hinata's chakra signature had changed so drastically, it was doubtful that the system would recognize her as a friend. Kurohane knew firsthand just what Naruto's traps could do, and she didn't want to be on the receiving end of something that could nearly liquefy an entire building.

And, after an uneventful five seconds, it appeared as though neither she nor Hinata would be. For the third time that day, Kurohane wanted to smack herself. Naruto had told her to bring Hinata to his apartment, and he never said she had to deactivate anything before entering. He wasn't her, so he would've thought ahead and accounted for most, if not all possible scenarios.

That being said, Kurohane let out a relieved sigh and plopped down in the couch to read the scroll Naruto had given her. She didn't want to chance screwing up after she'd worked so hard to get this far. In fact, if Naruto's instructions didn't include absolute secrecy, she'd get Haku and the Orasu twins to help out as well. It was entirely possible that Naruto would be stuck in Kumogakure for the remainder of the week, and since it was only Thursday, Kurohane would need to make sure this operation went off without a single hitch for the rest of the day, and three more days afterward.

That was something Kurohane doubted that she could do alone.

"Dammit, Naruto, it probably would've been easier for you had come down here with me!" seriously, did the freaking HOKAGE, of all people, really need that many high-level ninja to protect him?

"Kuro-chan, is that you?" the voice of a young female came from the direction of the bathroom next to Naruto's personal bedroom.

"Haku-chan?" 'Oh, give me a break!' Kurohane wanted to pull her own hair out. Nothing was going her way! It seemed to be nothing but one mishap after another, and she suspected that sheer dumb luck was the only reason she'd been able to get this far.

While Naruto hadn't explicitly told her to keep the details of this mission between her and himself, Kurohane felt that this was a situation where it would be best if the number of people involved was kept very low. But Haku was just down the hall and was slowly walking closer, so she would see Hinata and Kurohane would have some explaining to do.

The Raven Princess could also sense three other souls in the complex, one of which had a demonic taint to it.

'Fuck, the Orasu twins are here, too, and they're awake...On the plus side, I won't have to look for Sei-chan.' Kurohane sighed. It looked like she had no choice but to tell them all what was going on.

"Kuro-chan, what's going on? I can feel that you brought someone with you...or, rather, some_thing_..." Haku said as she poked her head around the corner.

"Sei-chan, don't!" Chigusa called out just before the small hanyou fox ran into the room, heading straight for Hinata.

"Hinata-onee...chan?" the kit's legs immediately locked up and she slid across the hardwood floor until she stopped right next to Kurohane. "Wow...she got big!" Seizonsha stared at Hinata's unconscious form in awe.

"...Hinata?" Haku said as she finally stepped into the center of the room, making sure to put the couch between herself and the slumbering creature.

"Well...yeah." Kurohane shrugged, knowing that there was no use in lying. She was a terrible liar anyway.

"...You're joking, right? This is one of Nii-chama's pranks, isn't it?" Kiriko asked, wiping some of the crust out of her left eye and stifling a yawn. She, her sister and Seizonsha had all been napping when two powerful chakra signatures appeared out of nowhere, followed by three huge thumps, the first of which being accompanied by a sizable tremor.

"I'm afraid not. You all might want to sit down for this."

The human girls all shared a look, then slowly walked towards the couch, eying the monster on the floor all the while. They nearly jumped out of there skin when Seizonsha leapt on top of the thing and started sniffing it.

"This is Hinata-onee-chan, no doubt about it!" the little fox, quite proud of herself for solving the mystery.

"But...how? Wha...What the hell's going on?" Kiriko demanded.

"Yeah, what happened to Hina-chan?" Chigusa and Kiriko knew, better than anyone, just how good Seizonsha's sense of smell was. If she said that this thing was Hinata, then it was Hinata. And now that the "Who?" had been taken care of, what remained was the "What?", the "How?" and the "Why?".

Haku didn't say a word, instead focusing intently on the creature before her, that she now knew as her rival, Hinata Hyūga. Even though it was knocked out, its chakra was still flowing freely, just to a lesser extent than if it..._she_ had been awake. However, the energy Hinata was giving off wasn't chakra; at least, not totally. It was, for lack of a better word, tainted with something else. Something very, very familiar.

"Youki..." Haku muttered just loud enough for Chigusa, who was closest to her, to hear.

"What?" the eldest of the Orasu twins asked as she turned to her best friend.

With the spotlight suddenly on her, Haku saw no reason to hide anything.

"She's giving off youki; demonic chakra." Haku turned her attention to Kurohane. "She's a demon now?" if that was the case, then this was bad; very, very bad.

"You're half right." Kurohane walked over to the recliner opposite the couch. "You all remember the fight with that demon at the Namikaze Compound, right?"

"How could we forget?" Haku spoke for them all.

Kurohane took a deep breath before continuing. "What I'm about to tell you can NEVER be mentioned to anyone outside of these walls. I mean NO ONE. Also, I will only say this once, so no interruptions, alright?" receiving nods all around, Kurohane began. "After the fight with the demon and the 'Hospital Incident', Naruto-kun basically gave you his life story and told you that some of the things you heard from the demon were lies...Well, they weren't. Naruto-kun really is a half-demon, and has been for some four years now."

The girls gasped, but made no move to speak.

"You should also know that Sei-chan, there, is a hanyou as well." Kurohane half expected Chigusa, who had Seizonsha in her lap, to leap from the couch in terror, but all she got was a widening of the eyes as the girl glanced down at the fox, who appeared to take great pride in what she was. "He hasn't told me the complete story behind it, but apparently he saved her life by turning her into a half-demon. You saw him heal Hinata after he dispatched the Onigumo, right?" more nods. "Well, he healed her using the same method as Sei-chan; Hinata's been a hanyou ever since she left the Namikaze Compound."

"Um...I know you said no interrupting, but...is she, you know, dangerous?" Chigusa asked.

"Extremely." Kurohane deadpanned. "Naruto-kun is on a very important mission right now, so he sent me back in his place to both assess her power and keep her out of harm's way." Kurohane then began to recount what had taken place from the time she was sent out, to the point where she smacked her head on the ceiling of the room they were all sitting in.

Fifteen minutes later, Haku, Chigusa and Kiriko were all staring at the Raven Princess with hanging jaws, stunned into complete silence.

It took another two minutes for them to regain their motor functions, and all three of them shared a look, then broke into identical grins.

"Looks like we'll be getting a mission afterall!" Kiriko cheered.

Kurohane cocked her head to the side. "What?"

"After you left to go with Nii-chama, Haku-chan, Onee-chan and I went to see if we could get any missions. We figured that if Zabuza was, apparently, being sent on a mission, that we could get one as well. But, we're all still on probation, so we just came back here." Kiriko explained.

"It turns out that Zabuza was hand-picked by the Hokage himself to be part of an escort team." Haku then snorted a little. "It's ironic...Zabuza's committed more crimes in a single year than any of us have in our entire combined lifetimes, yet we're the ones who are practically under house arrest."

Kurohane found Haku's annoyance at the situation more than a little amusing. "Aw, cheer up, Haku-chan! From what Naruto-kun's told me, you wouldn't want any in-village missions anyway. It's all D-class stuff like walking dogs, painting houses, finding lost pets, that sort of thing."

That kept Haku quiet. None of that sounded even remotely fun, except maybe walking the dogs. She liked dogs.

"Where is Nii-chama, anyway? Was he picked for the mission as well?" Chigusa asked.

"...Well...Screw it. Yeah, he's part of the eight-man team picked by the Hokage to escort and protect him in Kumogakure no Sato, along with Zabuza, Anko and that ANBU that came to get them." Kurohane saw no harm in telling them. If they couldn't be trusted with a secret, then the twins didn't deserve to call Naruto their brother, nor could Haku consider herself a potential love-interest.

When it came to Naruto, Kurohane was like Kyuubi; she was willing to share him, but only with women she deemed worthy.

"And he sent you back to deal with..." Haku glanced at Hinata, still finding it hard to comprehend that the beast before her was the girl whom she'd privately nicknamed "Zombie Eyes"(1), "her?"

"I thought I said I wouldn't be repeating myself?" Kurohane deadpanned.

"Wow...You're all-business today, aren't you?" Haku was slightly taken aback by the Kurohane's tone.(2)

"This is the first mission I've ever been given by Naruto-kun, and it's a big one. If I fuck this up, he'll never trust me again, and then I might as well go back to the Summon Realm." and that was something Kurohane had no intention of doing. She didn't plan on returning to the Summon Realm until she'd gotten far enough into her relationship with Naruto to take him to meet her family.

"Well, I don't think we could call ourselves your friends if we let you do this alone, since you've had so many problems thus far." Kiriko smiled.

"Yeah, count us in, Kuro-chan! We'll do all we can to help!" Chigusa agreed.

"It beats sitting around here all day long, and it's a chance to get some major points with Naruto-kun. Count me in, too." Haku said with a small smirk as she saw Kurohane's left eye twitch when she mentioned "points".

"...'Points'? What, is this a game now?" the only answer Kurohane got was a simple smile from the Ice Maiden.

'I swear, Naruto planned this all out!' Kurohane thought with a mental grumble.

(Kumogakure no Sato)

Naruto sneezed, but managed to stifle it so he didn't defile the inside of his mask.

"Gesundheit." Pondera, who was sitting on the recliner in Naruto and Zabuza's room, said.

Naruto looked at the demon and cocked his head to the side slightly. "...What did you call me?"

"What? People don't say 'Gesundheit' anymore?"

"I've never heard it before. What does that even mean?"

"It's German, which I guess is an ancient language by now. It basically means I'm wishing you good health. Back in my day, it was a popular thing to say, even for non-German people, to someone after they sneezed...You know, because sneezing is usually a sign of a cold, or allergies, or something like that...No?" Pondera sighed when Naruto's head only cocked further to the side. "Nevermind." 'Am I really that old?' everytime he found himself able to walk the Earth again, Pondera was reminded of just how much he'd missed out on in his five millennia of imprisonment.

"...Anyway, the reason I've brought you all here is because I've got a little side-mission going here in Kumogakure. I need to spy on someone, but since I can't risk being caught here, I need a way that could never be traced back to me." Naruto explained to the Guardians, all ten of whom now occupied the room.

"Spying, eh?" Pondera scratched his chin. "You'd want to talk to Clementia, Insontis and Affectus about that." he gestured towards the three demons.

"What is it that you require, sir?" Affectus asked, kneeling before Naruto.

"First off, stop that. How can I trust you with a mission when you won't even look me in the eye?" in Naruto's book, if you couldn't maintain eye-contact when being given orders, you weren't fit to carry out those orders. Averting your gaze from the eyes of an enemy was perfectly acceptable, but when you were speaking to someone you knew, superior or otherwise, inability to maintain eye-contact was an undesirable quality. One of the reasons the Raikage was suspicious of the Bear-masked ANBU was because he couldn't look him in the eye.

Affectus immediately rose to his full height, standing a good eight inches over Naruto. "Forgive me, sir."

"Don't worry about it. So, you three are the Recon Party of the group?"

Affectus nodded. "I suppose that would be true, but I'd say I'm more suited to finding targets than spying on them. I'm second only to Reformo when it comes to tracking ability."

The largest of the Guardians appeared to take more than a little pride in that fact.

Naruto nodded in understanding, then turned to Clementia and Insontis. "What do you two specialize in?"

"Well," the female demon began, "I work well as a spy. I can phase through most solid objects, and my youki signature is virtually non-existent. However, I'm better suited to information gathering...With my frequent mood swings, I never know when I'll end up unable to bring myself to kill someone." she turned to Insontis. "But he can do pretty much anything, and his unique abilities make him a perfect assassin."

"Insontis' main role is support for the other Guardians, myself included. His abilities can make almost any mission a lot easier, especially for those of us that can't use clones." which included all of them except for Affectus himself and Pondera.

Naruto scratched his chin and thought about his next course of action. "The Raikage should be able to tell me exactly where the target will be, so I shouldn't have any need for a tracker. And assassination isn't on the menu for this mission, simply observation." he looked at Clementia. "Looks like I'll just need you, then."

"I am here to serve, sir." Naruto heard Clementia's voice, but not by way of his ears.

"Telepathy as well? Awesome, you'll be able to tell me as soon as this guy does something suspicious, and still keep on his tail."

"Don't you just love it when things come together like this?" Pondera said, drawing a nod of agreement from Naruto.

"Well, I guess that means the rest of you are dismissed...Wait, where do you guys go when you're not summoned?" this was something that had been bugging Naruto for a while.

Pondera shrugged. "I guess you could call it a 'Hammerspace', of sorts. Our own little pocket dimension where we pretty much just sleep until we're needed."

"Hm...Sounds like a pretty boring place."

_"It is." _Vereor grumbled. He'd been locked away in an underground chamber for thousands of years, doing absolutely nothing ninety-nine percent of the time. The fact that he still spent most of his time "sleeping" even though he was free from captivity didn't sit very well with the undead demon.

"How about I remedy that?" Naruto proposed.

That caught everyone's attention. "What do you have in mind?" Pondera asked, just as eager to escape the endless monotony of that pocket dimension as his friends.

"There's no time-limit for you to be in this world, right?" Pondera shook his head and Naruto continued. "Then I should be able to keep you all permanently summoned and allow you to stay in my castle in the Shadow Realm when I don't require your assistance. There, you will not only have your own living quarters, but the Chuushin no Yami is home to a...unique cast of characters that are guaranteed to provide you with all the excitement you could ever want."

Pondera was quick to agree, but he needed to make sure everyone else was onboard with the idea.

"Well?"

The other Guardians just stared blankly at their leader.

_"Do you _really_ have to ask?"_ once again, Vereor voiced their collective thoughts.

Pondera shrugged and turned back to Naruto. "You heard him."

"Excellent." Naruto looked behind Pondera to the shadow of the recliner. It was far too small for a suitable portal, but that wasn't anything he couldn't fix. The shadow darkened and stretched, creeping up the wall behind the chair and then widening until it was ten feet wide, by twelve feet wide.

"So...Do we just walk through it?" Pondera said as he got up from the recliner, albeit reluctantly. He'd forgotten comfortable a good lazy boy could be.

Naruto nodded. "Pretty much. This portal will take you to the twentieth floor; when you get there, you'll probably see Butlers, you'll know them when you see them. When you do, stop one of them and ask for either the Doc or one of the Commanders. There are four of them, and make sure you ask for either D or Hayabusa. Unless you're in the mood for mass destruction, you don't want to meet the other two. If Doc or the Commanders are busy, just ask any of the workers to show you around. However, you're likely to not get a full tour, as there are several places in which the workers refuse to go, one of which is the area where you'll most likely find the most entertainment."

"And where's that?" Pondera asked.

"The Arena." Naruto smirked as every Guardian other than Clementia, Insontis and Ignotus suddenly perked up even more.

_"'The Arena', eh?" _Vereor produced a maniacal chuckle. _"I think I'm _really_ going to like this place." _he also made a mental note to find those other two "Commanders" Naruto had mentioned. He was always in the mood for some destruction!

"I knew you would. Now, in you go. Clementia, I'll send for you as soon as the Raikage tells me where the target can be found. The rest of you, remain on standby in case I need you to assist her at some point." with that, Naruto ushered the Guardians into the Shadow Realm portal. As a last-minute thought, Naruto stuck his head into the portal to make sure it had transported the Guardians to the correct place.

While the Shadow Walk was normally very precise when a location was specified, portals tended to become somewhat destabilized when the being that made them didn't enter. When that happened, anything that did enter the portal chanced being sent to a completely random location.

Once they were through, Naruto took a seat in the vacated recliner and let out a sigh that spoke volumes for his boredom. As it stood, he had absolutely nothing to do in Kumo. It seemed as though the Hokage didn't need much in the way of protection, and he doubted he'd be able to get away with anymore training.

**"Well, there are **_**other**_** ways to have fun..."** Kyuubi said with the mental version of a wink.

'Do you have some suggestions?' Naruto instantly picked up on the implications.

However, the answer he received wasn't what he expected at all.

**"Actually, no." **Kyuubi sighed. **"Ever since we got here, I haven't been able to really get in **_**the mood**_**. Sure, I may get excited from time to time, but I just can't seem to let myself go all the way...I don't know, something just feels...wrong."**

"And here I thought I was just being paranoid." Naruto mumbled out loud. He was really starting to question how he felt about his "new" self. He was randomly forced to relive his worst experiences, his internal clock was failing, and now he was starting to ignore the instincts that played a key role in his survival up to this point. But with all that, what did he actually gain? That was something he'd need to give some serious thought to.

**"You're still getting used to this, Naruto-koi. Think of this as a situation similar to when you absorb another tail's-worth of power. It screws up your chakra control, so you have to practice constantly to recover it. This is really no different, concept-wise. However, I can't say that I'm confident that mere 'practice' will allow you to 'recover' the part of your mind that's been affected by recent events." **

'I've never ignored my instincts before, and I don't plan on making a habit of it. The internal clock is an irritation, but nothing I can't get around. Plus, I developed it through constant practice, so it's something I know I can get back. But the flashbacks are the worst. They aren't limited to my sleep or when I'm alone, they pop up randomly at any time.' from what Naruto had gathered from his experiences thus far was that the visions were triggered whenever any of his senses picked up something that was associated with a bad memory.

Sight, sound, taste, smell, touch; it didn't matter, they would all trigger an "attack". And that meant it could happen in the middle of a battle, which would distract him from the enemy. Distraction was deadly, and was arguably the most useful tool any ninja could have in his/her arsenal. A distracted target was an easy target, and if you had to the means to distract the opponent, the battle could be won before it even began. Being forced to relive your most traumatic experiences was one hell of a distraction, and that made this particular "symptom" the most dangerous of them all.

Within Naruto's mind, Kyuubi's own brain was going through every flashback Naruto had suffered ever since they'd started. Information was being processed at a rate beyond human comprehension and a solid theory was constructed within a few seconds.

**"Naruto, have you noticed any differences in the flashbacks you've had recently, as opposed to the first ones?"**

'The main thing I've noticed is that I don't get as many "chains" as I used to.' with the first flashbacks, one memory often triggered another, then another, and so on and so forth. This was referred to as a "chain", and one of them was so bad it had actually left Naruto on the verge of another breakdown. But recently the "chains" we far less frequent, and nowhere near as terrible.

**"Right. I've also noticed that there are several memories that have stopped coming to you altogether. They seem to all be ones involving people that you've already dealt with, in one way or another." **

'So...That means I can stop the flashbacks by killing the people involved in them?' that sounded a bit too good to be true. No way could the solution to such a big problem be so easy and enjoyable.

**"It would appear that way. However, several of the people you'd need to get rid of are either very well known in Konoha, of high social standing, or both. Sakura's mother alone not only runs the library in Konoha, but she's also a prominent member of the Civilian Council, and the Konoha community in general. If she ends up dead, you'll be the only suspect, really. You know as well as I do that ninety percent of the village thinks that she's a borderline saint. And then there's the yearly mobs...Because of your damned photographic memory, that's a total of well over five-hundred people you'd have to kill!"**

'Great. Just fucking great.' yep, too good to be true. There was no way he could kill that many people without being caught at some point. And if he was caught, not even the Hokage would be able to get him out of the shitstorm that would follow. But then, a flash of inspiration! 'Wait, the mobs, that's it!'

**"Hm?"**

'The mobs mostly consist of the same people every year, right? Well, that means that they'll be right at my doorstep come my birthday, and then...' Naruto let the implications sink in.

Kyuubi instantly caught on and adopted a grin that would remind anyone of just why she was the Queen of Demons.

**"You can slaughter them all and never be charged with treason!"**

'Exactly.' it looked like it would, indeed, be quite easy and enjoyable to stop the memories. And as for Sakura's mother, Hikari Haruno, Naruto felt that there was a way to keep flashbacks involving her at bay without killing her. As much as he hated to admit it, some people were actually more of a hassle dead than they were alive.

Just as Naruto finished his internal dialogue with Kyuubi, there was a knock at the door. A quick sniff was all it took to tell him who was on the other side, even though he could sense the demonic "taint" in her chakra.

"Oh, it seems that I won't even have to leave my room to find some entertainment." Naruto smirked as he rose from the recliner.

Out in the hallway, Yugito knocked again as she looked at the scroll in her left hand. She had gone to the Raikage's office to see if there were any missions she could take, but had instead been given the task of delivering it to Naruto. Yugito had to admit that she was curious about what the scroll contained. There had been a hint of urgency in the Raikage's voice when he'd given her the order, but the Hokage looked to be completely indifferent. This led the girl to believe that the scroll quite possibly contained details of an assignment directly from the leader of Kumogakure no Sato.

But why would the Raikage give a mission to a Konoha shinobi that had only been in Kumo for two days? Did he not trust his own ninjas enough to carry it out efficiently? If that was the case, then what was the mission?

Yugito stared at the scroll, trying to decide the best course of action. The Raikage hadn't said anything about her not being able to read it, but it was implied all the same. But if she did open it, it wasn't likely for the Raikage to find out about it. Naruto wouldn't tell him, right?

So wrapped up in her internal debate was Yugito, that she didn't notice Zabuza walking up to her.

The former Mist-nin looked at Yugito, then at the scroll in her left hand, then at her right hand that was slowly coming up to unravel the scroll.

"You sure you should be doing that?" Zabuza finally spoke up, knowing that opening a scroll with a Kage's official seal on it without permission was an offense that warranted a lengthy prison sentence, corporal punishment or even execution, depending on the village.

Yugito let out a small "eep" and whipped around, instinctively hiding the scroll behind her back as she turned.

"Dammit, Momochi-san! Don't do that!" Yugito huffed as she tried to get her heartbeat back under control. 'Why didn't you warn me?' she mentally hissed to her inner demon.

**"I sensed no malice coming frrrom him, norrr is he someone who would rrrat you out forrr looking at the scrrroll." **the Nibi gave the mental version of a shrug. **"Besides, maybe that'll get you to finally do something about that single-mindedness of yourrrs." **focus was good; one of THE main requirements of a ninja. But when you could only focus on what was right in front of you, it became very dangerous. Kyuubi's vessel had taken advantage of it just yesterday.

"I told you I'm working on that..." Yugito grumbled aloud.

"What?" Zabuza rose a non-existent eyebrow, catching only two words the teen had spoken.

"Nothing, just talking to Hinade." Yugito was still amazed by how easily she could talk about her "burden" with a man she'd "known" for less than two full days. Naruto she could understand, as he could relate to her situation better than anyone else. But Zabuza, as far as she knew, was just a "normal" human.

"...Who?" the Jōnin scratched his head in confusion.

"The Nibi." Yugito clarified.

"Oh." Zabuza nodded. He knew that the Ichibi called itself "Shukaku", as documents of the attacks Sunagakure suffered at the demon's hands reported that it had a habit of taunting them while it devastated their village(3). After learning that, Zabuza had figured that all of the Tailed Demon Lords had names beyond the titles bestowed upon them by the humans that feared and/or worshipped them so much.

"Are you going inside?" Yugito pointed at the door behind her.

"Uh, yeah, I forgot my money. Why?"

"Do you know if Naruto's in there? I need to get this scroll to him." the girl gestured to the item in her hand.

"Hell if I know." Zabuza said with a shrug. "Last I saw him was nearly twenty minutes ago, and he said he was on his way to the Raikage's office."

"And the Raikage told me that Naruto would be in his room."

"Then there's a fifty-fifty chance that he's in there." even though he hadn't known Naruto for very long at all, one thing was made clear shortly after he'd met the boy; where Naruto was involved, the only thing that was certain was that nothing was certain. Unpredictability was the name of the game for Naruto, and one of the primary reasons he'd been assigned to the Hokage's personal guard for the duration of their time in Kumo.

Yugito rolled her eyes and let out a frustrated huff. She was about to knock again, but the door suddenly swung open just before her knuckles reached the wood, startling the girl once again.

"Ah, Yugito-san, what a pleasant surprise!" Naruto's greeting came with a light sprinkling of sarcasm.

"Dammit, why do people keep doing that?" Yugito scowled.

Naruto shrugged. "Who knows. Say, would you like something to eat?" though no one could tell, Naruto's eyes shifted briefly to Zabuza, who was behind and slightly to the right of Yugito. "A sandwich, perhaps?"

A second and a half later, Zabuza's body started to shake with suppressed laughter.

"Well, I haven't had any lunch yet, so I guess I could go for something." Yugito's stomach growled, as if to give a second opinion on the matter, causing the girl to blush. She had a very high metabolism, like most demon vessels, so even though she'd eaten breakfast only a few hours ago, her body once again demanded sustenance.

"Well, that doesn't sound very good. Come on in and let's get you filled up." Naruto stepped aside, allowing Yugito to enter the room.

Zabuza, for his part, had managed to remain completely silent, but it was a good thing Yugito hadn't turned around. Zabuza looked like his head was about to explode, and his legs didn't look like they'd be able to hold him up for much longer.

"Erm...Do you mind if I use your bathroom?" Yugito asked.

"Not at all." came Naruto's quick reply.

Once Yugito had disappeared down the hall and they heard the bathroom door close, Zabuza clamped his hands over his bandaged mouth and collapsed onto the floor.

Now it was Naruto who was shaking. "St-Stop it..." the heavy strain on his voice told of just how much effort was required to keep him from laughing until he cracked a rib.

"H-How..." Zabuza couldn't choke out his full question before another bout of laughter overtook him.

"Stop..." Naruto was to the point of holding onto the doorframe for support.

"H-How did...y-you say all that...with a s-straight f-face?" Zabuza managed.

"...Who says I did?" finally getting himself mostly under control, Naruto tapped the side of his mask, which hid all facial expressions from view.

There was a sudden yelp from the bathroom and both Naruto and Zabuza immediately composed themselves as they heard the bathroom door open, then slam shut. Within two seconds, Yugito stormed into view, looking very flustered and more than a little ticked.

"No!" she pointed accusingly at Naruto, who just cocked his head to the side in "confusion".

"No what?"

"No 'sandwiches'! Not now, not ever!" she would never be able to so much as think of a sandwich without blushing ever again!

"...But I thought you were hungry?" neither Naruto or Zabuza knew how much longer they could keep up their facade.

"Hinade told me what you meant by that! And there will be no 'filling', either!"

"Maybe she's just never had a good sandwich? They were invented to be very filling." now Zabuza was finally joining the game.

**"Hey! I'll have you know that I've had plenty of grrreat sandwiches in my day!" **the Nibi huffed indignantly.

"Gah! Shut up, all of you!" Yugito plugged her ears and plopped down on the couch.

That was it, both Naruto and Zabuza burst into a laughing fit and quickly lost the use of their legs.

Yugito didn't find it at all amusing, especially since it was all at her expense.

**"You know, I've hearrrd of rrrolling on the floorrr laughing, but I've neverrr seen it until today." **anyone that she'd seen even remotely laugh that hard either found something to sit/lean on, or they were already sitting down. She'd seen a couple people fall out of their chairs, but no rolling was involved once they hit the floor.

'Quiet, you. Don't act like you're innocent in all this.'

**"Me? What did I do?" **seriously, if it wasn't for her, Yugito probably never would've figured out the innuendo unless it was spelled out for her!

'I appreciate you telling me and all, but I did NOT need the images you sent me!' Yugito raged at her demon.

To make sure Yugito knew exactly what was being implied, the Nibi had sent her several mental images of "sandwiches". It only took one to scar Yugito for life, the rest were just overkill.

**"Uh...Whoops?" **Hinade ventured.

'No. No "whoops". You and I both know you did that on purpose!'

Naruto and Zabuza continued to laugh their asses off for another two minutes, much to the dismay of Yugito and their own bodies, particularly their lungs, ribs and abdominal muscles. Afterwards, they managed to reign themselves in enough to stand up and walk over to a still scowling Yugito.

"Aw, come on, Yu-chan! Don't be like that." Zabuza said as he sat down to her left.

"Yeah, we were just having a little fun, don't take it personally or anything." Naruto added as he sat down to her right.

"Don't 'Yu-chan' me! I get it, I'm a prude, a virgin, whatever! But that doesn't mean you can just take advantage of me whenever you please!" Yugito's scowl turned into a pout as she slouched deeper into the sofa and crossed her arms over her chest.

"Hey, we aren't that bad!" Zabuza protested.

"We do this to pretty much everybody; you can ask anyone on our team. You just don't like it because it all goes over your head, but once you get the hang of it, you'll see why it's so much fun for people like us." Naruto assured his fellow Jinchuuriki.

"When I get the hang of it? I don't _want_ to 'get the hang of it'! I don't want anything to do with it!" Yugito insisted.

But that didn't put either of the Konoha shinobi off.

"You'll change your tune sooner or later. They always do." Zabuza said with a sagely nod. "You might even become a nymphomaniac because you're so pent-up."

"I doubt it...Do I even want to know what a 'nymphomaniac' is?" the eerie silence that followed that question was Yugito's first clue that she'd said something that was...unwise to say around her present company.

"...Wow." Naruto said, then cleared his throat rather loudly.

"...'Ahem', yourself." Zabuza snorted and looked away. Just by saying what he'd said, he'd already set himself up to be the primary target of the girl's rage, and he wasn't going to tempt fate even further.

"What?" Yugito looked at Naruto.

"..." Naruto looked away as well, actually going so far as to scoot away from her. His body was starting to shake again, as well.

'Hinade?'

**"Oh, NOW you WANT my experrrtise? Well, forrrget it, you can figurrre this one out on yourrr own." **with that, the Nibi closed her end of the mental link she shared with her vessel.

'Dammit!' Yugito was close to pulling her hair out over this. Why did she have to be so damn curious?

Naruto finally let out a sigh, along with a small snicker, and turned back to Yugito.

"'Nymphomaniac' is the psychiatric term for a female who's obsessed with sex and anything related to it. As Zabuza oh, so subtly pointed out, women that have a lot of pent-up sexual frustration often become nymphos when they get their first 'taste'." Naruto was sure to put the spotlight directly on the former nuke-nin.

Yugito's eyes widened to almost impossible diameters and her body went stiff as a board. Her? Addicted to sex? Impossible! Inconceivable! Unimaginable! And terrifying enough to make her contemplate a vow of celibacy.

**"Don't you darrre." **Hinade hissed, having re-established the link as soon as thoughts of eternal chastity crossed Yugito's mind.

'I don't want to become a nymphomaniac!' Yugito had heard about just how good sex felt from her "friends", and now she was afraid that it was feel _too_ good and she'd be unable to live without it. Like a druggie hooked on a narcotic substance.

**"Well tough shit, Kitten. I like sex; I **_**love**_** it, actually. Therrre's nothing else like it, and I mean NOTHING. At least, nothing I've experrrienced. In fact, the only thing I can even think of that's betterrr than sex is sex with someone that you trrruly love. Orrr so I've been told, anyway. But that's beside the point. The point is, I'll make yourrr life a living hell if you everrr so much as think of swearrring off of the carrrnal pleasurrres!"** now that Kyuubi had reawakened the sexual animal within Hinade, the demon had made a vow of her own; she would get her vessel laid, no matter what. And then she would get herself laid, for the first time in nearly two decades.

If she played her cards right, Kyuubi's vessel would be the one to "take care" of them both. And it wouldn't be too hard to get Kyuubi herself to participate. And the things Kyuubi had told her the young hanyou could do...Clones, tentacles, restraints; there seemed to be no end to the fun they could have! With those possibilities all so close, Hinade damn sure wasn't going to let her prude of a vessel ruin it all with her silly genophobia!

Naruto waved his hand in front of Yugito's face, trying to get her to respond to something. She'd been spaced out for the passed minute, with the same mix of shock, terror and disgust marring her features.

"...She's really against all things sexual, isn't she? I mean _really_ against it." Zabuza shook his head.

"Damn...I wanted to get in one last 'sandwich' joke." Naruto sighed. 'Oh well, there'll be other opportunities.' and if there weren't, he'd make them himself.

Suddenly, Yugito snapped out of her trance and shot up off the couch, slightly startling both Naruto and Zabuza.

"I-I, uh...I need t-to go now...Yeah...I need to leave." Yugito announced, her body beginning to tremble.

"...But I thought you were hungry?" Naruto said, also getting up, slowly. Something was wrong. She was terrified of something. Naruto could see her body vibrating; he could hear her heart racing and her breathing quicken; he could even smell the sweat that was beginning give exposed skin a light sheen.

He could also smell something else; something that was quick to get him worked up. He couldn't quite put his finger on it, but whatever it was, it smelled heavenly. It was actually starting to make him feel lightheaded, and Naruto found that he had to keep his eyes off of Yugito, lest he would be assaulted by visions very different from those that regularly plagued him.

Everytime he looked at the older girl, he would envision himself holding her writhing body against the wall, making her scream out his name with each thrust of his hips.

But, no matter how hard he tried, Naruto just couldn't control his eyes. They just kept wandering over to Yugito's taut backside, where his imagination would take over once again and begin to undress her, revealing the overall scrumptiousness of her body in vivid detail. So vivid, in fact, that it was almost as if he could just slide right up behind her and...

'No!' Naruto quickly averted his gaze for what had to be the third time in the same second. He turned his attention to the sofa, idly noting that Zabuza had vacated his seat.

The newest Konoha Jōnin had sensed that something was up when both Naruto and Yugito had stopped dead in their tracks and started shivering slightly. Figuring that it was a Jinchuuriki thing, Zabuza felt that it was wise to leave the room before he found himself caught in the middle of something violent or just plain freaky. Afterall, he'd just come for his money, so he had no reason to stay in the first place.

Upon noticing that Zabuza was gone, Naruto's mind went into overdrive once he realized he was alone with Yugito. Now he was seeing the girl on the couch, on her knees with a throw pillow clenched in her jaws in an effort to keep from screaming as Naruto took her from behind.

'Son of a bitch!' Naruto tried everything from shaking his head, to smacking himself to get his brain back on-track, but none of it worked. His thoughts were now split between various ways of ensuring Yugito would be walking funny for the next couple of days, and figuring out how to get her out of the room before he lost what little control he still had over his desires.

"Y-Yugito, I think...I think that you should leave." Naruto struggled to make his jaw move just so he could get the words out, but it wasn't the only part of his body that he had to make a serious conscious effort to control. In fact, it seemed like his entire body wanted nothing more than to grab the older ninja and haul her off to the bedroom for the rest of the day.

"Y-Y-Yeah..." Yugito stammered. Something was wrong. Something was very, very wrong. She could barely think straight and there was a tiny voice in the back of her head that kept getting louder with each passing second. It was one that she'd heard several times before, though it was only this persistent when she was in "heat", as the Nibi called it.

It was her suppressed libido, howling to be set free on the male behind her. What truly scared her was the fact that not only could she just barely control it, but she barely _wanted_ to control it. Though she was loath to admit it, she'd finally found the perfect mate. Someone who understood her, someone who wouldn't tear her down and generally make her feel like shit. He was also someone who was just as strong as she was, if not moreso, and could "keep up" with her in every possible way. But, most importantly of all, Yugito had found someone that would share her "indefinite" lifespan.

Years ago, the Nibi had offered Yugito the chance to become a hanyou, and eventually a full demon. Yugito had, at first, been very eager to hear about what being a "Halfling" would entail, but had pulled a one-eighty and declined as soon as the prospect of "eternal life and youth". When Hinade asked the girl why, her response was: "What's the point of living forever if you're going to be alone the whole time?"

That comment had stung the Nibi, but she knew what the girl had meant when she said it. No matter how thick-skinned Yugito appeared to be, virtually everything the villagers, civilian and shinobi alike, said got to her in one way or another. There were days where she'd walk through the village with her head held high, only be collapse into a weeping heap the second she entered her room and closed the door.

Out of all the things said to and about her, the one that never failed to strike a chord within her was when someone told her she would always be alone. Despite her loner persona, Yugito was quite a social creature, which was why she continued to hang out with her "friends", even though she could barely stand them. She just liked the feeling of being part of a group. Even if that group was made of selfish, spoiled little sluts that talked about nothing but jewelry, clothing and how big their last date's dick was.

Somewhere along the line, the choice was taken out of Yugito's hands, and the youki flowing through her body altered her physiology. She wasn't a hanyou as of yet, but she was well on her way, and had already gained the first perk of the transformation: partial immortality. After she'd been informed of that, Yugito had all but resigned herself to the "lone wolf" lifestyle.

But now Yugito had her ideal mate less than ten feet from her, yet she wanted to run away from him. There was a part of her mind that sided with her libido, and joined forces with it in an attempt to gain control of the body. The other part was quickly becoming overwhelmed by fear and confusion and was struggling to keep control in order to flee. The result was a girl who was as horny as a pervert in a brothel, and terrified beyond reason because of it.

However, before she could hightail it, Naruto's mind cleared enough for him to ask a question that had been nagging at him ever since the girl had shown up.

"Wait...Before you go, could you tell me why you were here in the first place?" the young hanyou paused to swallow copious amount of spit being produced by his suddenly-overactive salivary glands. 'Great, I'm drooling into my mask.'

The question also allowed Yugito a moment of clarity as she remembered the scroll still clutched in her hand.

"Oh! Right...Here," she held the scroll out behind her, but didn't dare turn around completely, "the Raikage told me to give this to you."

"Hm? Well...that was faster than I expected...Thanks." Naruto reached for the scroll, but his body suddenly jerked forward of its own volition and he ended up grabbed more of Yugito's hand than the scroll.

The moment their skin made contact, their minds simultaneously shutdown as a massive influx of electrical signals assaulted their brains. But it didn't hurt at all. In fact, it felt so good that losing the ability to think wasn't the only thing they did simultaneously.

Naruto fell face-first onto the floor as his legs gave out, his weight dragging the scroll from Yugito's numb hand.

Yugito, of course, paid no attention to the boy behind her as her own orgasm left her brain unable to properly process information. However, there was a part of her mind that was negatively affected by the event, and now that it no longer had any competition from the libido, it was free to resume control of Yugito's body and cause her to move like lightning out of the room, plowing right through the two inch thick wooden door like it was wet paper.

Likewise, Naruto paid no attention to the girl's hasty retreat. His mind was still blank and his body was still convulsing with small "aftershocks".

Within his mind, Kyuubi had also been struck dumb by what had transpired.

(Mindscape)

**"Oh my..."** was all she could manage.

_"What the fuck happened?"_ Nightmare demanded, having been awakened from his slumber when Naruto's Mindscape had been rocked just as violently as his body.

**"I...I'm still trying to determine that...As far as I can tell, Naru-chan just...came..." **why Kyuubi was blushing, even she didn't know.

_"What? You mean...But how?"_ Nightmare would've known if Naruto was getting "intimate" with someone, as would anyone/thing wandering around the boy's mind. But judging from the sheer force with which the Mindscape had been shaken, whatever had happened was something Naruto was in no way prepared for.

**"It was the girl; the other Jinchuuriki. She was acting very strangely...Scared out of her mind, yet giving off pheromones that were driving Naru-chan crazy."**

Nightmare rubbed his armored chin in thought. _"...So, she's a genophobe?"_ he had some personal experience with women like that. Well, he held the memories of previous hosts that did. Though their reasons for differed from female to female, they were all scared to death of sex and anything related to it. The moment they got even remotely turned on, they flew into a panic. Nightmare resolved to review Naruto's memories to see exactly what had happened.

Kyuubi didn't miss the glint in her fellow demon's eyes. **"What are you plotting?"**

_"Plotting? Me? Bah! I'm simply thinking of a way that Naruto can help that girl get over her fears and let that inner animal of hers loose."_

Kyuubi rose an eyebrow. **"Well, in that case...tell me when you come up with something." **

Nightmare's eyes widened. _"You do realize that what I come up with will most likely end up with him marinating his nether rod in another woman's squish mitten, right?"_ his only warning was a hard glare from Kyuubi and a series of low growls emanating from behind him. _"I'll be leaving now..."_ Nightmare dashed away with astonishing speed for a being with his large, heavily armored frame.(4)

However, the Manglers were just as fast and were instantly snapping at his heels.

**"I already told Naruto that I'm okay with him taking multiple mates, and I think these two are good for each other." **Kyuubi nodded to herself. Intimate connections were always good for lonely people, especially those who weren't alone by choice.

Kyuubi suddenly felt an odd sense of vertigo as the Mindscape shifted, indicating that Naruto had regained his cognitive abilities.

"Ugh..." Naruto groaned as he slowly and shakily got to his feet. However, as he tried to stand straight, he brought his upper body up too quickly and ended up falling backwards onto the couch. "What the hell happened?" he slurred almost like he was drunk.

**"You came." **Kyuubi said bluntly, deciding the best course of action was to be straightforward with her mate.

"Umm..." Naruto's mind was still in the "reboot" phase, causing him to be a bit on the slow side.

Kyuubi sighed and muttered something under her breath. **"You shot your load, creamed your pants; e-ja-cu-la-ted." **

Naruto was suddenly aware of a warm, slimy substance on his right thigh and he looked down to see a wet trail running from his crotch and down his leg to his knee. But he could still feel it dripping down the rest of his leg and onto his boots.

"Son of a bitch!" he hissed and shot off the couch, down the hall and into the bathroom.

**"Mmm, such a waste..." **Kyuubi said whilst licking her lips.

'Not helping!'

**"If I helped, we'd end up being here all day. Remember, you've got things to do." **though she hated to admit it, Kyuubi knew that there were times when sex was best left on the backburner, if not stricken from thought altogether.

Naruto just grumbled something incoherent and stripped down so he could take a cold shower.

Seven minutes later, Naruto stepped out of the bathroom, fully dressed. We immediately went to the discarded scroll and picked it up off the floor.

"Let's see what we've got here." Naruto muttered to himself as he broken the Raikage's seal and scanned through the scroll. "First name: Kazuma. Clan name: Honda. Rank: ANBU. Squad: Fifteen. Position: Captain. Callsign: Bear. Any family?...Yes, an older sister that's married and lives in a village outside of Kumo. Also says he's got a younger sister, but she's presumed deceased." as far as personal information went, there wasn't much. No frequent hangouts, no daily habits or routines; pretty much nothing. Either he was just that boring, or he was really good at staying under the radar.

But it didn't matter much, since his home address was in his profile. He could have Clementia simply wait and follow the man wherever he went from there.

Naruto idly noted that there was absolutely no trace of his "accident" on his pants.

"Time to go get Clementia." he said, then walked over to a shadowed corner of the living room, opened a portal and walked through to the Shadow Realm.

(Shadow Realm - Chuushin no Yami - Twentieth Floor - Medical Wing)

Naruto's portal had dropped him directly in front of Doc's door.

"Yo, Doc, you in there?" Naruto knew he was, as he could feel the Doc's chakra signature. He just wanted to be sure the Shadow Beast wasn't busy.

"Come on in, Naruto." the Doc's voice came from within the room.

Naruto took the invitation and walked in after the door slid open on its own.

"Did you see a group of demons come through here, say, two hours ago?" Naruto asked.

"Pondera, Fragilitas, Clementia, Insontis, Vereor, Ignotus, Reformo, Veneratio, Morium and Affectus. Interesting names they have. They asked for a tour, but I was busy at the moment, so I handed them off the Commander Hayabusa."(5)

"Any idea where they'd be right now?" Naruto had a hunch, but he couldn't be sure, since he couldn't detect any explosions at the moment.

"Hayabusa's not a very talkative fellow, so he most likely didn't go into detail during the tour, so it should've been pretty quick. If I was a betting man, I'd put my money on the Arena. I know, it's quiet right now, but you should've been here about half an hour ago...Commander D said he could feel the castle shaking all the way up on the thirty-fifth floor!"(6)

Naruto whistled. "Pretty impressive," especially considering that the Arena was housed in a compound separate from the castle itself, "but I can't say it's unexpected." he'd already seen how destructive Reformo alone could be, to it wasn't hard to imagine the devastation the Guardians could bring about together.

"However, one of them, Clementia, didn't appear to be very interested in fighting. I doubt she would've taken part in all that."

"She's the one I'm looking for."

Doc caught movement behind Naruto and rose an eyebrow as he looked over his creator's right shoulder.

"Looks like she found you."

Naruto looked over his shoulder and had to force himself not to whip around and try to take Clementia's head off.

"Sorry for startling you, Naruto" the demoness bowed.

"Startle me? Don't be ridiculous, I wasn't...It's pointless to lie to a telepath." Naruto's shoulders sagged as he sensed Clementia's blank stare. He then remembered something that caused him to narrow his eyes at the masked female. "Wait a minute...During that game of Blackjack back in the hospital, you only won eight hands out of near or over a hundred that we played. If you're a telepath, why didn't you just read our minds and clear us all out? Hell, why did the other Guardians even let you play in the first place?"

Clementia simply shrugged. "Pondera 'trained' me extensively in the 'art' of gambling. It was pretty much the only way we had of entertaining ourselves beyond sparring. He also beat the 'Code of Honor' into me...quite literally. Everytime he sensed me trying to peek into his mind, he'd whack me over the head with something." the demoness rubbed the back of her head gently, suddenly feeling the phantom pain associated with being smacked with a chair. "According to that code, you are never to cheat at Poker, Blackjack and other games of the like. If you can't win with skill and cunning alone, then you 'just plain suck', as he put it."

Naruto nodded. "He's taught you well. Did he also tell you all's fair in games like 'Bullshit'?"

"Of course. 'Cheating' is even encouraged."

"Good, good. Well, I've gotten all the info from the Raikage, so let's get things underway, shall we?" Naruto opened a portal in the wall to his left and turned to walk into it, but paused as he thought of another use for Clementia's special talents. "Oh! Remind me to have you test my mental defenses sometime." they've already been penetrated by outside forces once, and that's one time too many.

"Have you come across another telepath?" from what she'd picked up from her master's mind, even human warriors had the ability to create powerful illusions called "Genjutsu". However, strong mental defenses didn't seem to be required to nullify the vast majority of them.

"...Sort of...A demon by the name of 'Shizaru'. I know I haven't seen the last of him, and I doubt he's the only one around that can invade people's minds. Hell, there's a clan in Konoha that specializes in mental assault and control." Naruto suddenly heard a very low-frequency buzzing sound that was accompanied by a slight cooling sensation in the back of his head.

"The Yamanaka, correct?"

"..." Naruto just stared at the demoness silently.

"...Sorry...I'm just curious about this world." Clementia bowed again.

"Just...Just try to refrain from doing that without permission." Naruto couldn't very well get mad at her. If he'd been trapped in an underground prison for thousands of years, he'd also take every opportunity to learn more about the world around him once he got out.

"Understood."

"...It might get quite boring tailing this guy. Should I go get one of the others to assist you? You seem to be very close to Insontis."

"No, no, I'll be fine. I'll find ways of entertaining myself when the mission becomes tedious."

"Very well, then." Naruto walked through the portal after giving Doc a small wave, followed by Clementia, who mimicked the gesture.

After the portal closed, Doc sighed. "If only they were all so well-behaved..." another tremor shook the castle. "Well, at least it won't be boring around here." he turned back to his workstation and caught a vial of emerald green liquid before it hit the floor. "Like that was a problem in the first place..." he mumbled as he returned the vial to its place on the rack and sat down to resume his experiments.

(Human World)

Naruto was quite confused. The portal he'd created was supposed to have taken him to the living room via the shadow of the recliner. Instead, he suddenly found himself dumped into the shower with Clementia landing on top of him.

"...That wasn't supposed to happen." Naruto looked at Clementia, who literally floated off of him and phased right through the shower door. "Clementia..."

"Yes?" the demoness answered, her head phasing back through the glass.

"Do you know if you have any elemental alignments?" Naruto had figured that something about Clementia had disrupted the Shadow Walk enough for it to deposit them into the shower instead of the living room.

"None, as far as I know." Clementia never used elemental attacks, and she had no particular weakness to anything.

Naruto opened the door and stepped out of the shower to stand right in front of the female Guardian.

"Hmm...Yep, you've got a Light alignment. That explains the disruption of the Shadow Walk."(7)

Clementia cocked her head to the side a bit, not really understanding what the young Namikaze meant.

"...Go ahead." Naruto said, giving Clementia permission to pick his brain for information. He twitched a bit at the sensation, it would certainly take some getting used to.

"...Ah, those with Light alignments will be forced out if they try to enter the Shadow Realm...But my abilities combined with my demonic blood masks my alignment enough for me to remain there...But it still can cause fluctuations and instability in portals to the Shadow Realm." Clementia recited the info as it came to her.

"Did you experience anything odd when you first went to the Shadow Realm with the others?" Naruto asked, feeling an odd tingling sensation as the demoness left his mind.

"Not at all. We came out right where you said we would."

"Ah, the presence of the other Guardians must have made your Light alignment impossible to pick up. Due to my own Darkness alignment, I'm normally extremely sensitive to Light and I can easily detect those with an affinity for it. But, even standing this close, I can just barely sense it in you...And your energy output feels more like a cat than a demon." Naruto smirked behind his mask. "You really are perfect for this job."

"Thank you." Clementia followed Naruto as he walked out of the bathroom.

"Here's the scroll containing all the info the Raikage sent me. It's not much, but it tells us where he lives, so it's enough. I haven't been told where he is at the moment, so I think your best bet would be to wait for him at his home, then follow him from there." Naruto handed Clementia the scroll. "There's definitely something up with this guy. I know he's an ANBU, but a Kage has access to every bit of information on every shinobi under their command, and if this is the extent of his records, then something's not right." with information this spotty, Naruto wondered just how "Bear" was allowed to rise to the rank of ANBU Captain.

"...Are all shinobi as suspicious as you?" Affectus was the only confirmed shinobi Clementia knew. She'd asked both Pondera and Fragilitas if they'd been shinobi when they were human, but she never got a definitive answer from either of them; simply a "More or less" from Pondera, and a shrug from Fragilitas.

"All the good ones are." was Naruto's simple answer. "You may set out whenever you're ready, I've got someone to find as well." he spared a single glance at the obliterated door before walking out of the room and down the hall in the direction Yugito had gone. Her scent was still strong in the hall, a mixture of panic and arousal that made coherent thought difficult.

**"Down, boy." **Kyuubi chimed.

'Quiet, you.' Naruto grumbled something under his breath and continued on, following both the scent and the swath of destruction that Yugito had left in her terror-induced haste.

Back in his room, Clementia had unrolled the scroll and browsed through it briefly. True to what Naruto said, there wasn't much information on the man she was supposed to be stalking. However, she doubted him being an enigma would have a significant impact on her mission. If Naruto could just barely sense her when he was only standing a foot away, what hope did this human have of discovering her?

Confidence stoked, Clementia rolled the scroll back up and stuffed it into one of the folds inside of her robe. She then phased through the floor and disappeared.

XXXX

And there you have it. You guys wanted more Naruto, so you got more Naruto! However, I do understand that this chapter could be considered "boring" due to the complete lack of action. Remember, I intended this as part of something much larger, which included a HUGE fight at the end. That fight will now make up the last update in this "trilogy" that I've got planned out, so you'll be getting your fill of gratuitous battle by chapter thirty-four. Until then, bear with it, and I'll try to spice things up a bit more so I don't put you all to sleep. But I can say that updates will be coming in a more timely fashion, at least as far as these next few are concerned.

Now it's time for some reader involvement. In your reviews and/or PMs, I want you to tell me who your favorite character in the story is so far, and why they're your favorite. I also want to know who you think should have more "screen time". This will tell me which characters are great as they are, and which ones need to be improved/fleshed out more.

I would ask you to also include who your least favorite character is, but I have a feeling I'll be seeing "Kushina, cuz she's a bitch!" quite a lot. But, if you feel the need to include your least favorites, then go right ahead. It all helps.

Also, about the title for this chapter...I couldn't figure out a good one for the life of me, so I just settled on "The Sandwich is a Lie!", which hit me right when I was about to just leave the title blank. If anyone has a suggestion for a better title, feel free to share.

On a completely unrelated note, it is now impossible for me to say the word "scrumptious", in any form, without laughing. Really, I spent nearly twenty minutes laughing because of the word "scrumptiousness".

(1) If you go to the "Narutopedia" site and look at Hinata's profile, there's a picture of her as a little girl...It creeps the hell out of me. I don't like kids in the first place, but when they've got eyes like that...No. Just no.

(2) I figured it was time to give Kuro-chan a "Crowning Moment of Seriousness", as she's pretty much always joking around or doing something humorous. However, from what I've heard, people tend to like her because she's so...UNserious.

(3) I don't think the Ichibi ever directly attacked Sunagakure no Sato in the actual series, but he did in this story.

(4) Virtual Cookie time! Who can tell me where the "squish mitten" line comes from?

(5) I know this is far too easy, but there's a Virtual Cookie waiting for anyone who can tell me where Commander Hayabusa comes from.

(6) Naruto's little "Summer Home" has forty floors. Well, forty above ground, anyway.

(7) Yes, Clementia is a demon with a Light affinity, though a very weak one. Like Hinata, Clementia hasn't always been a demon.

Well, I guess that's about it for now. If there's anything that I missed, or something that you don't quite understand, don't be shy about asking questions or pointing things out. As usual, I'll answer any questions(within reason)to the best of my abilities.

Until next time, folks!

Jason Out!


	34. Introducing: The Zombie Brothers

Yo! As advertised, I have returned to meet my two-week update plan.

I've got to say, the number of virtual cookies I've given out is ridiculous. I knew the Hayabusa thing was just WAY too easy. However, I'm actually surprised by some of the answers I got pertaining to the "squish mitten" line.

I have seen your favorite and least favorite characters, and I've seen your thoughts on who should get more spotlight. I must say, I'm quite surprised by the results, especially for the screen time issue. The characters that received the most requests(Zabuza, Nightmare, Orasu Sisters, Seizonsha, etc...)were already scheduled for more time in the spotlight.

In fact, shortly after the Chūnin Exams, I'm planning a brief(two, maybe three chapters)Kirigakure Arc where Zabuza, Haku and the Orasu twins will be the main characters. I'll also be introducing Mei Terumi(smokin' hot Godaime Mizukage)in that arc. But that's the future, let's focus on the here and now.

Just like the last chapter, this one was meant to be part of something much larger, so I decided to add a bit more substance to it to make it a better stand-alone chapter.

I think that's about all there is to say right now, so on with the story!

XXXX

(With Yugito - Fifteen Minutes later)

Yugito had finally stopped running ten minutes ago, and had taken another five to collect her thoughts and make sense of them all. This also allowed her to "appreciate" the cold wetness of her pants.

"This is all your fault..." the girl mumbled as she sat huddled up against a tree, her chin resting on her knees.

**"It'll drrry, Kitten." **the Nibi commented.

The off-handed tone infuriated Yugito. "ALL of it is your fault! Everything that happened back there was because of YOU! You wouldn't let me leave, you just _had_ to keep telling me all those..._things_! Naruto and Zabuza just met me, but they know when to stop! You know me better than anyone else, but you STILL kept going!" she didn't care about the fact that she was screaming all of this out loud.

**"I'm sorrry, Ki-"**

"Don't 'Kitten' me! Don't you dare, not after what you did!" Yugito let out a shuddering breath as she leaned her head back against the tree. "I...I can't talk to you right now."

**"Wait, Yu-!" **Yugito cut their mental link, silencing the demoness.

As soon as she no longer felt the presence of the Nibi, Yugito began to weep. So many conflicting emotions raged through her, like an infamous Kumo Storm. It was an unfamiliar feeling to her; something that she had no idea how to express. She felt it all needed to be let out, but she didn't know how to do it. She wanted to scream her frustration to the Gods themselves, perhaps even curse them, the Shinigami in particular, for dealing her such a cruel hand in life. But she couldn't find the strength to scream.

So, she cried.

For the moment, Yugito Nii was no longer the proud, eighteen year old "Tokubetsu Chūnin" with the power to take on an entire squad of ANBU and barely break a sweat. She was no longer the feared Jinchuuriki of the Nibi no Nekomata, the Two-tailed Demon Lord. Yugito Nii once again found herself in the position of a scared and confused little girl that had no idea what was going on in her life, and was thus powerless to do anything about it. And if it was one thing that she hated above all else, it was being powerless.

Yugito had no idea how much time had passed, but the sudden clap of thunder snatched her away from her pit of depression. There was a storm coming, a big one. The main part was miles away and probably wouldn't hit Kumogakure for another hour if the winds held steady. But the outer edges of the storm were closing in rapidly, so the rain would start in ten minutes or so. But that didn't matter to Yugito; she'd always loved the rain. This love had resulted in her being struck by lightning on four occasions, but the combination of her demonic companion and her extremely strong Lightning affinity had saved her life.

Thinking about water reminded Yugito of another little factoid: she'd never actually used the bathroom when she went to Naruto. When the Nibi told her what Naruto had really meant with his "sandwich" comment, Yugito had flipped and completely forgotten about the "call of nature". Well, it was back, and it wouldn't be ignored this time around.

"Oh, just great." Yugito grumbled as she stood up and brushed off the back of her pants. She then set off in search of a suitable spot to do her "business".

She never noticed the pair of eyes following her every movement from only sixty yards away.

'Well, she seems to have calmed down, but...' Naruto suppressed a sigh, knowing that Yugito's keen ears would pick up the sound. 'I...I don't know what to do. Do I go to her and try to talk? Do I sit back and observe some more? Or should I just leave her alone and wait for opportune time?'

**"Wish I could help, hon, but I'm afraid my advice won't be of much use right now." **said Kyuubi with the mental version of a shrug. Despite being a female herself, the demoness didn't have the slightest clue of how to comfort someone like Yugito.

Afterall, Kyuubi favored _physical _comfort from a significant other, so she was the last person to consult about a prude the likes of Hinade's vessel. She'd just end up making things worse, so it was best for her to just stay out of it altogether.

'How do you know?' Naruto wasn't used to dealing with women. Not at all. Beyond those in his circle, his interactions with females mostly consisted of threats and harsh criticisms. And with those that he felt comfortable with, general chatting and the occasional innuendo was on the menu.

**"Just trust me on that." **Kyuubi replied, smirking a little as Naruto grumbled under his breath.

From his experience, women kept their personal troubles to themselves, at least around him. So when they started getting all emotional, Naruto was at a complete loss as to a course of action. He'd gotten lucky with Hinata; all she needed was some encouragement. But beyond that, he had no experience with emotional wrecks of the female variety. Or any variety, for that matter.

Suddenly, Naruto's mind was assaulted by another memory, but this one wasn't exactly terrible.

About a year and a half ago, Anko had gotten shitfaced and had somehow managed to find her way to Naruto's apartment complex. It wasn't really a new development, as the woman had "crashed" at his place several times before that. But normally she'd just offer him a swig of whatever she happened to be carrying, try to flirt with him, challenge him to some kind of ridiculous game, and maybe even grope him a few times. Then she'd faceplant right onto the couch, not to awaken for at least six hours. But that time, things were a bit different.

(Flashback)

An eleven year old Naruto had just finished his dinner of baked chicken breasts drowned in barbeque sauce. Kyuubi seemed determined to get him addicted to it as she was, and she was actually making progress. Every now and then, when Naruto sat down for a meal, he'd start subconsciously searching for the barbeque sauce. Sometimes he caught himself, and other times he just shrugged and dug in after smothering whatever hapless food item was in front of him in "The Sauce".

He was putting the dishes into the sink when felt a familiar presence outside of his apartment door.

"Hm, Friday...Mitarashi-san must be drunk again." Naruto sighed and walked over to the door to open it, quickening his pace when Anko started to pound on the door. The woman was incredibly impatient, and wouldn't hesitate to break the door down if it wasn't opened in a timely fashion. And that was when she was sober. When she was drunk...Well, let's just say Naruto was actually surprised she even bothered with "knocking".

As soon as he opened the door, Naruto was met with a forward thrust kick that was meant to blast the door of its hinges. But he was prepared and managed to catch her foot before it could make contact with his chest.

"Good evening, Mitarashi-san." the masked boy greeted, still holding on to Anko's foot.

"Whasho...goodaboudit?" Anko slurred and took another gulp from the rather large bottle in her right hand.

'How the hell is she keeping her balance?' Naruto wondered, seeing that even though Anko was trip-on-air drunk, she still maintained perfect balance even on one leg. "...Dunno, it's a pretty normal night for me, but it looks like you just came from some kind of party."

"Washn't no party...You gonna...ledmein? It'sh fffuckin' freezin' out here!"

Naruto let go of Anko's foot, idly noting that her leg remained in the air. "...Mitarashi-san, it's eighty-two degrees outside...and you're wearing a trenchcoat. If you're cold out there, then the last place you want to be is in here." Naruto liked to keep his apartment at a constant temperature of sixty-eight degrees year-round, so if Anko thought it was cold outside, the apartment might as well have been Yuki no Kuni.

"Bah, jus' lemmein!" Anko frowned and furrowed her brow. "An' leggo o' my fffoot!"

Naruto blinked behind his mask, looked down at Anko's still-outstretched leg, then back up at her. Something was wrong. Anko never drank _this_ hard, even at the biggest parties.

"Mitarashi-san...Is there a problem?" Anko herself had told Naruto that you could always tell a person's disposition by what they drank, how much they drank, and how they drank it.

According to her, it was the depressed that were the worst. They drank the hardest stuff they could find, drank it until coherent thought was impossible, and were often angry and mean as hell.

Naruto looked at the bottle Anko held in her hand; Everclear(1), the strongest legally-available alcohol in the whole of Fire Country, according to Anko herself. It was so potent, in fact, that when Naruto had reached for it at a small party she'd invited/dragged him to, she'd snatched it away, saying it was too strong for him, demon or no. Now she was chugging it down like nobody's business. Coherent thought appeared to have fallen off the train several miles back, and wasn't making any effort to catch up. And as far as the anger went...

"What, I can't come an' vishit my bestest fffriend? Why the fffuck dosh there haffta be a prob'm?"

Check, check, and check.

"...Come on in, Mitarashi-san. The couch misses you." Naruto knew better than to try and talk to the woman while she was like this. Hopefully, she'd pass out on the couch like she always did, and he'd be able to ask his questions in the morning...or the afternoon, whenever the promised monster hangover went away.

"He better've mished me...I'm fffuckin' aweshome!"

'...Wow...' Naruto thought as Anko stumbled passed him, her perfect balance gone.

**"..."** Kyuubi couldn't manage any words to effectively describe her thoughts, so she simply whistled.

Naruto closed the door and turned back to Anko as she plopped down on the sofa and turned her attention back to him.

"..." she didn't say anything, she just stared at him oddly, as if contemplating something...Or trying to, at least.

"..." Naruto cocked his head to the side, mentally counting down the seconds until Anko fell over and starting snoring.

But the Tokubetsu Jōnin didn't fall over. Instead, she patted the cushion next to her firmly, an invitation for Naruto to sit down.

"Mitarashi-san, maybe you should just get some re-..." Naruto was silenced by a pillow colliding with his masked face. That hadn't been an invitation, it had been a demand. Naruto had about two seconds to comply before he got hit with something else. Something that was guaranteed to be much harder, heavier and/or sharper than a pillow.

Anko gave the "Academy Student" a small smile when he sat down next to her, but it quickly turn to a frown when she noticed that he situated himself a good three feet away from her; outside of arm's reach. There was a flash of anger, but it was soon engulfed by a wave of sadness.

"...Naruto..." the woman mumbled.

"Yes?"

"...Can I ask you a question?" had Naruto not heard her before, he would've been hard-pressed to say Anko was drunk simply by the sound of her voice. All traces of her earlier slurring were gone.

Naruto was tempted to say "you just did", or something of the like, but figured now wasn't the time for smartass-ism.

"...Go ahead." Naruto couldn't really think of a question that was off-limits for Anko. She already knew virtually everything about him, aside from the fact that he and Kyuubi were in almost constant communication...Well, that and a few of his special skills and personal techniques.

"...You like me, right?" now THAT was one hell of a curveball!

And it clocked Naruto square on the forehead, leaving his brain temporarily unable to process information.

It took Naruto all of two seconds to recover. "I...I'm sorry?"

"Do you like me? It's a simple question with a simple answer!" Anko snapped, then immediately regretted it. "I'm sorry...I meant: Do you like me for me? I'm not just eye candy to you, right? I'm your friend and you're mine, right?" if Naruto didn't know better, he'd swear that Anko sounded almost...desperate?

"Mitarashi-san, you're not making any sense."

"Just because I'm not making sense to _you_ doesn't mean I'm not making sense. Now answer the damn questions." Anko's whispered reply came out as a hiss that actually made the hair on the back of Naruto's neck stand on-end.

"Mitarashi-san, please, I..." Anko glared at him from the corner of her eye while taking another swig from her bottle.

It looked like she would explode if the next words out of his mouth weren't answers to her questions. Naruto knew he could take her if it came to that, especially since she was drunk as all hell, but he didn't think he could subdue her without doing some possibly serious damage to her in the process.

Even when they were sparring, Naruto found the idea of hurting Anko extremely troubling, to the point that he would actually hold back against her. She could somehow sense this, and it would piss her off to no end, which would result in one hell of a beating for Naruto. But he couldn't help it. For reasons he couldn't explain for the life of him, Naruto just could not bring himself to treat Anko like he would other sparring partners. When he trained with Mitara or the Twins, he wouldn't hesitate to leave them with bumps, bruises and maybe a couple fractures; even when he came out on the losing end. But with Anko, only an extreme battle-high on Naruto's part ever resulted in more than a few scratches and scrapes on her person.

Seeing no other way out, Naruto relented with a sigh.

"Of course you're my friend, Mitarashi-san." he decided to try his hand at lightening the mood. "If you weren't, you'd be a red smear on the ground after that stunt with the door."

It didn't work. "...If that's true, then why do you still call me 'Mitarashi-san'? You're not supposed to be so formal with your friends..." at least, that's how Anko felt. She wasn't exactly an authority on real friendship. In fact, it had been little under an hour since she'd discovered that she was far less of an authority on friendship than she thought.

"I mean it as a simple sign of respect." Naruto also did it to annoy her, but he felt it prudent to leave that part out.

"Well, respect my wishes and call me 'Anko'!" the woman turned her full attention to Naruto, sitting her bottle down on the floor next to her leg.

"Fine, Anko-san." Naruto leaned his head back as Anko suddenly pointed at him with a half-hearted glare, then wagged her finger in front of his face.

"No, no '-san'."

"...Okay, Anko."

"-chan?"

"Don't push it." Naruto deadpanned, causing Anko to giggle. 'Wow...I've never heard her do that.' Anko didn't do "girly" things like giggling. She laughed, guffawed, chuckled and cackled, but she did NOT giggle. At least, not in a non-creepy way.

"Say, Naru-chan, can I ask another question?"

Naruto twitched. "You told me to respect your wishes and call you by your first name, and I did. So why can't you respect my wishes and do the same?" the only response he received as a couple gentle pats on the head, every one of which made him twitch again.

"Anywho, Naru-_chaaan_," Anko smirked as she saw Naruto twitch quite violently out of the corner of her eye. "...Do you think I'm attractive?"

"Okay, you're drunk, you need to sleep it off." Naruto got up off the couch. "I'll go get a blanket or something, you just lay down and-!" as he made to walk towards the closet to retrieve one of the thinner blankets, Naruto found himself grabbed by his hair and more or less thrown back onto the couch. "Hey, what's-!" he was once again cutoff, this time by Anko straddling his legs pinning his arms behind his back with her own.

"No more stalling, Uzumaki." Anko hissed, sounding for all the world like a big, pissed off serpent. "Do you, or do you not, find me attractive? I've never seen you checking me out, even though I've given you every opportunity...You don't react to anything I do, even when I blatantly fondle you! I know you're not gay, so the only logical explanation is that it's me; I just don't turn you on." as she said this, Anko seemed to physically deflate. "Even now, I can't get so much as a twitch from 'Little Naru-chan'..." that comment, however, did get a twitch from "Big Naru-chan". One so violent that Anko had to tense up just to maintain her grip on him.

"...Listen...I don't know what you've seen, or what you've been paying attention to, but I can assure you that you are NOT the only one that can't 'turn me on'. As you know, better than anyone else really, I'm not 'normal' at all. This 'abnormality' extents to my interactions with the opposite sex as well. Just because I don't go to bed every night thinking about your hands roaming all over my body, or how wonderful your ass looks in your casual wear, doesn't mean that I don't find you 'smoking hot', as Mitara puts it. It's called 'self-control', and it's as simple as that, got it?" Naruto then leaned back against the sofa, awaiting Anko's reply.

It was then that Kyuubi decided to remind Naruto that she was listening in.

**"Actually, it's called 'repressed hormones' and 'willful ignorance', but don't worry, that's gonna change soon."**

'...What's that supposed to mean?'

**"You'll see..." **Kyuubi let out one last giggle before returning to her role as the silent observer.

Any thoughts of further questioning were squashed as Naruto felt Anko suddenly go limp on top of him, with her head landing softly in the crook of his neck.

"Anko?" Naruto got a light snore in response; she'd fallen asleep on him, literally. This meant that she most likely hadn't registered most of what he'd just said to her. "...That's nice." he muttered and tried to move his arms to he could get her off of him.

But there was a problem; Anko hadn't gone completely limp, and her hands still had a firm grip on his arms. Naruto sighed, he wasn't going anywhere for at least another two hours. How did he know this? Anko had once fallen asleep while clutching his leg, which she'd grabbed a hold of after challenging him to a wrestling match and not giving him the chance to decline. She'd been going for some kind of leg-lock, but had passed out before she could properly apply it. Naruto had tried to get up, only to find that she was still stuck to his leg like a beartrap and wasn't letting go anytime soon.

"...I'll bet Mitara-san's going to come waltzing through the door any second now..." that's how things happened with Naruto. When something bad happened to him, it never failed to spark a chain of events that made things worse and worse as time went on.

Lo and behold, the doorknob rotated and an ANBU with an eagle-themed mask walked in.

"Hey, Naruto, have you seen An...ko..." the image before Mitara didn't quite compute. The sheer ridiculousness of it all left him with only one possible course of action...

Naruto didn't even react when the ANBU fell to the floor and started cackling like a hyena. He'd expected this to happen.

"When you're done, would you mind helping me with her? She won't let go."

"Sure...thing..." Mitara managed between bouts of laughter.

(Flashback End)

'...Whoa...' Naruto thought, unable to think of anything else.

**"That was...interesting..." **it was more than interesting for Kyuubi, it was actually troubling. She'd been awake when that had happened, and she'd even expressed her own opinions on the situation. So, how was it that she didn't even remember that night? If the memories that had been locked away extended into her own, then what else had she forgotten? **'One of the perils of freedom, I suppose.' **

The seal always kept Naruto's mind separated from Kyuubi's, having been designed to prevent any kind of corruption. The demoness could still speak to him, but there was no mental link between them when she was still behind the seal. This meant that Kyuubi couldn't directly affect Naruto's mind, and vice versa. But now that she was partially free of the seal, and had established a mental link, anything that happened to Naruto's mind stood a good chance of affecting her own as well.

That explained how the memory was locked away, but not why. The experience wasn't what either Naruto or Kyuubi would call traumatizing, so there was really no reason for it to have been behind The Door in the first place. Maybe they weren't getting the full memory, and something terrible happened after what they'd seen?

'I'll figure it out later. I've got more pressing matters to attend to.' Naruto continued to follow Yugito from a safe distance, wondering what she was up to. She would stop at every patch of ground-level greenery and inspect it, then she'd shake her head and move on. Naruto also noticed that she would walk just a bit faster after every stop. 'What is she doing?'

Yugito stopped in front of a large clump of bushes, each one over six feet in height. She inspected it like all the others, but this time she nodded and looked around, scanning the area for any prying eyes. She even sent out a small chakra pulse, which Naruto felt.

'Oh crap.' Naruto froze when Yugito's head whipped around and she glared in his direction. However, even with the possibility of him having been caught, Naruto found himself going over exactly how she'd detected him.

It had to have been some kind of "chakra radar", or something. She'd send out a pulse of chakra, which would travel through other objects until it hit something that also gave off chakra. The natural output of whatever the pulse hit would reflect it right back to Yugito, letting her not only know where a potential enemy was, but also get an idea of the strength of said potential enemy. It was an ingenious use of a simple chakra pulse, which already had a multitude of practical applications. They could be used to signal allies, break Genjutsu, and stronger pulses could even deflect projectiles and/or be used as devastating area-of-effect attacks. Naruto himself had even used chakra pulses to set off traps for pranks. But a form of radar? Naruto had never even heard of that!

Or, perhaps he had heard of it, but had labeled it as impractical and overall useless. Afterall, a chakra pulse would alert enemies to your presence just as effectively as it would alert you to theirs. Plus, it apparently relied on your own chakra bouncing back at you, which meant you'd need to stand still and wait for it to come back. The chakra did travel very, very quickly, though. Naruto had only felt it for a couple milliseconds, at best, and Yugito had looked in his direction a fraction of a second later.

'Now's not the time for this!' Naruto frowned. While it may have been a unique use of a chakra pulse, he quickly found that would've had very little use for it. He had far more legitimate worries, such as just how Yugito would react to being stalked by a person she most likely wanted nothing to do with at the moment.

Naruto silently prepared himself to either fight or flee, depending on the severity of the older ninja's reaction. But, out of all the scenarios he went through in his head, it was the one that Naruto had more or less rolled his eyes at that came to pass.

Yugito simply shrugged and stepped into the bushes after one last look around.

'Umm...' no words came to Naruto. Why wasn't he trying to keep his face from being ripped off by an irate female Jinchuuriki? Why wasn't he at least being screamed at?

Luck. It had to have been sheer dumb luck that kept Yugito from checking out what she'd detected. If she had, where would've been no way Naruto could've escaped without her noticing. She could've detected the chakra spike from the Shadow Walk at such close range, and once she focused her attention on him, any movement would be easily picked up.

However, Naruto knew better than most that good luck was always followed by bad, in one form or another. He'd need to be on guard after this.

Naruto then heard the sound of a zipper being pulled and he had the decency to blush as he realized what Yugito was doing.

'Come to think of it, she wasn't in the bathroom long enough to actually do anything back in the room.' the masked Genin slowly moved off to hide behind a tree that was actually closer to Yugito's position, but was in an area where other trees and bushes blocked his view of his fellow demon vessel. He hoped that him not being able to see her would quell any kind of temper that would arise.

About thirty seconds later, Yugito walked back out into the open with a contented sigh. She suddenly caught a whiff of a familiar scent coming from directly ahead of her.

She didn't even have to call out, as Naruto had heard her suddenly begin sniffing the air and knew he'd been detected.

"Sorry if you didn't want to be found, Yugito." Naruto said as he stepped out from behind the tree. "But I felt that it wasn't right to just leave things as they were. Listen, I know Zabuza and I can be a bit...much, but if you're really that uncomfortable with it, then we'll stop...When you're around, anyway." they couldn't go around letting everyone off the hook so easily, afterall.

"...Thanks, but it wasn't totally your fault. It was mostly the Nibi's doing...!" Yugito's eyes went wide and she clamped a hand over her mouth, staring at Naruto in abstract horror for all of two and a half seconds, before remembering just who she was talking to.

Naruto stared back, knowing exactly what had just happened. "...Should I be offended that you forgot about me that quickly?"

Yugito blushed and scratched her cheek while laughing nervously. "Sorry about that...Call it a reflex. But really, it wasn't all your fault. You two may know me, but you don't know me as well as the Nibi does, which makes it all the more frustrating that she would do what she did."

"Even so, I do feel I have to apologies for both Zabuza's behavior and mine. If not for us, perhaps the Nibi wouldn't have done...whatever it was that she did." Naruto looked around briefly before turning his attention back to Yugito. "Were you heading somewhere, or were you just running in a random direction?" there didn't seem to be much to see around here, but things were often not what they seemed. Naruto did notice that they were on what appeared to be a slightly worn path through the forest.

"Yeah, I was going somewhere..." Yugito was once again conflicted. Should she tell him or not? Should she reveal her one true sanctuary to someone she barely knew? 'No...that's not true.' even though she'd only met him yesterday, she already knew quite a bit about him, just as he knew quite a bit about her.

However, they both still had their secrets, and her Sanctuary was one she held closer to her heart than most others. But...

"If you don't want to tell me, that's fine, nothing to stress over." Naruto said, noting the girl's uncertain expression. "I know what it's like to have a place all to yourself, where you won't be bothered by anyone." actually, Naruto had an entire _dimension_ all to himself.

"I...Just follow me." Yugito sighed and began to walk down the path in the same direction she'd originally been heading.

Naruto said nothing and fell in behind the older ninja. If she trusted him enough to show him, who was he to argue?

And so the Jinchuuriki walked through the forest, continuing along the nearly invisible path. Naruto noticed that they never deviated or paused, even though Yugito didn't appear to be paying the slightest bit of attention to where she was going. After ten minutes, the trees began to thin and Naruto could see a large building placed _inside_ of a small mountain that had its peak sheared off. And it was at the base of a much larger mountain, one that reached far above the clouds.

Naruto couldn't help but find it odd. It was far too large to be an outpost, and the style was more indicative of an industrial building, but it was too far away from the village to have been a manufacturing plant or a warehouse.

Seeing where Naruto's attention was now focused, Yugito spoke up. "That's one of Kumo's water treatment plants, though it's really more of a water _management_ facility. I'm sure you know that Kumo has a reputation for having more thunderstorms than any other village, so it's sort of a given that we get a lot of rain. In fact, our annual rainfall is second only to Amegakure no Sato. And just like Ame, we have really large sewers to ensure that all that water doesn't flood the village. However, since we're in the mountains, we also need to deal with huge amounts of runoff after storms and when the snow starts melting in the warmer months. And then there's the frequent mudslides to deal with.

You can see that the plant was build inside of that small mountain, right? Well, it acts as a natural barrier against both mudslides and floods, and on the other side, it's reinforced by a concrete wall, sort of like a dam. There are also huge holes bored into the mountain that connect directly to the sewers. Like I said, this isn't really a water _treatment_ plant, since they don't actually do anything to the water that comes through here. It's actually forced through the sewers to one of the three actual water treatment facilities, which are much closer to Kumo itself, and the largest of them is actually inside the village walls. For mudslides, those holes in the mountain have doors on them to keep debris from getting in and clogging the sewers, but even if it does get through, it's got to get through three sets of filters to actually make it into the sewer system. However, those filters are easily clogged themselves, so a team of specialized shinobi are sent down here after every mudslide to clear out the filters." Yugito finished her explanation, which was pretty much the equivalent of a guided tour of the facility itself.

"You know a lot about this place." Naruto stated with a raised eyebrow, though Yugito couldn't see it.

"I worked here for two years." the teen girl shrugged. "When I was fourteen, something...bad happened, and it became too dangerous for me to remain in the village. So, the Raikage sent me out here. Beyond the standard Chūnin guards and the filter cleaners, only civilians work here, so I had nothing to worry about here. The head of security is a former ANBU Captain, and his personal staff is made up of Tokubetsu Jōnin twin brothers, but they're awesome guys. Even you would like them."

"I doubt it." Naruto would reserve judgment until he actually met them, but his "Guilty until proven innocent" mindset carried over to complete strangers. They were annoyances until proven otherwise.

"...You weren't the sunny kid in your class, were you?" Yugito sweatdropped.

"No, I was the one everybody was afraid of." Naruto shrugged. "Actually, I'm _still_ the one everybody's afraid of."

"I'm not afraid of you." Yugito said without hesitation.

Naruto simply cocked his head to the side slightly. "I haven't given you a reason to be..."

"..."

"..."

'Challenge accepted.' both demon vessels thought in unison.

They both suddenly chuckled and Yugito turned around and started walking up a somewhat hidden and even less worn path that branched off up an incline to the left of the one they'd been traveling on. Naruto followed without a word, and made no effort to hide the fact that his eyes were fixed to her ass while they climbed the small hill.

"...You know, it's not very polite to stare..." Yugito said, a small tickmark developing around her right temple. 'If he stares any harder, he might just burn a hole in my pants!' even though she wouldn't admit it, a part of her did enjoy the attention.

"I'm not a very polite person." Naruto said, not bothering to look up. 'Say, Kyuu-chan, is there a way for me to focus chakra into beams that I can shoot from my eyes?' the Corpser had used focused energy beams as weapons, so he knew it was possible.

**"Yes...but why the sudden interest?" **Kyuubi yawned, getting ready for a nap.

'So I can burn a hole in Yugito's pants.' it has been said several times before, but that doesn't make it any less true: Naruto has no shame.

If Naruto could see Kyuubi at the moment, he was sure she would've been deadpanning.

**"...You know, now that I think about it, this is the sixth time you've asked me about eye beams. The first time you wanted them so you could like the 'Superhero' in that old comic you found; then you wanted them so you could tell people you had a Kekkei Genkai Doujutsu; and the last three times you wanted them so you could literally kill people just by looking at them." **Kyuubi sighed, but couldn't completely rein in a small giggle. **"Come on, Naru-chan, at least the others were somewhat respectable reasons!"**

'I think wanting to see her ass is a respectable reason.'

**"What, my ass isn't good enough?" **Kyuubi huffed with mock indignation.

'..."Good enough"? Woman, your ass qualifies as a weapon of mass distraction, and you know it! I'm just glad you haven't ruined my ability to appreciate lesser buttocks.'

**"...Are you saying that my ass is big?" **Naruto got the distinct impression that one of Kyuubi's eyes were twitching.

'Yes.'

**"...I am **_**so**_** going to sit on you..."**

'Oh dear...You've killed me with far _less_ dangerous things, so I guess I should really be worried...'

**"...In demon form..."**

'So, I can look forward to a bit of tail later?'

**"...Full-sized demon form..."**

'Big girls need love, too...'

**"..."**

'Aw, don't stop now; I'm on fire!'

**"On the path to 'Extra Crispy'."**

Bright orange flames and a charred skull suddenly filled Naruto's vision and an agonized, inhuman wail tore through his mind with enough intensity to physically bring him to his knees.

'...Been there, done that.'

**"Sorry...Poor choice of words, huh?"**

'You'd think that we'd know better by now.' Naruto let out a bitter chuckle as Yugito turned to him, concern etched firmly into her features.

"Naruto-kun, are you alright?" the kunoichi kneeled in front of the boy and took hold of his shoulders when she saw him lean forward slightly, like he was about to fall.

"I'm fine...Yugito-chan." Naruto smirked when the girl's face instantly lit up and her hands released his shoulders to fly up to her mouth.

'Naruto-KUN?! Where the hell did that come from?!' Yugito mentally screamed. What's worse, she couldn't even blame the slip-up on the Nibi!

Naruto's smirk remained as he got to his feet and dusted his knees off. "Well, weren't we going somewhere?"

Yugito said nothing, instead turning around and walking away rather quickly. After a soft chuckle and shake of the head, Naruto silently followed further up the hill, noting that the path had suddenly gotten much steeper.

They reached the top of the hill less than a minute later, entering a clearing situated on a cliff. But Naruto didn't think it was a natural clearing. There were bald patches of ground everywhere, and most of them had raised edges. This indicated that something, most likely trees, had been torn from the ground and the holes filled in, but not leveled out.

"Been doing a little 'renovation'?" Naruto said, gesturing to the bald patch closest to him.

"Hm? Oh, yeah, those..." Yugito laughed nervously and scratched her cheek lightly. "I like to come here to be alone with my thoughts...but, more often than not, those thoughts end up pissing me off. Sometimes I just fly into a blind rage and start tearing things apart. By the time I realize what I'm doing, I've already shredded and/or uprooted at least two or three trees." once again, Yugito found herself astonished by how easily she could just reveal things to someone she'd only known for a day.

"That's good." Naruto nodded in approval. "It's always good to have an outlet for your anger. It's not healthy to keep it all bottled up; it might end up being unleashed on people who don't deserve it..."

"Personal experience?" Yugito questioned.

"Oh yeah." Naruto sighed. "I've got pent-up rage going all the way back to when I was old enough to feel it. I used to think I was strong enough to just push it all away and carry on, but in reality, I was only setting myself up. But now...Now I've got a reason to keep it all bottled up; to let it fester and swell." Naruto chuckled darkly. "I've got a focus for it now. There are a lot of people who have made it their duty to ruin my life, if they can't just end it outright. And I plan on getting back at every single one of them."

"...The path of revenge is one that never leads to a happy ending." Yugito said, remembering something that the Nibi often told her when the girl's anger at her treatment threatened to consume her.

According to the Nibi, she wasn't always the Two-tailed Demon Lord, and was actually just "filling-in" for the real Nibi. Before that, she was one of the Shinigami's most powerful servants, and his most trusted Soul Collector(2). During her tenure with the Death God, she'd lost count of how many souls she'd collected that had been freed of their bodies through acts motivated purely by the desire for vengeance. Having seen the cycle so many times throughout her existence, Hinade made a vow to never live for the pursuit of revenge, and had made Yugito take that same vow.

Naruto just looked at the older ninja with his head cocked slightly to the right. He then chuckled again, though there was no mirth behind it.

"Life is a path that rarely leads to a 'happy ending'." he walked by Yugito and stood at the very edge of the cliff, taking in the view. "This is a beautiful place you've picked out for yourself."

Yugito sighed at the sudden change of subject, knowing that there would be no use in trying to convince him that revenge wasn't the way to go. Walking up beside Naruto, the teen plopped down right on the edge of the cliff, her legs dangling over.

"It really is." Yugito smiled serenely, remembering how she used to spend hours upon hours in this one spot before she was allowed back on the active ninja roster.

"What's the elevation around here?" Naruto asked, kicking a small rock over the edge and watching it until it disappeared into the mist below.

"You mean, how far would you fall before you hit the ground? Even though Kumogakure is only about eight-thousand feet above sea-level(3), if you fell off this cliff, you'd have a roughly thirteen-thousand foot drop before you went 'splat' at the bottom of the canyon."

Naruto whistled and looked down again. He could only see about a thousand feet down due to the low-hanging clouds. Naruto knew he could survive falls from fairly great heights, as part of his training years ago involved jumping off of the Hokage Monument, which was over five-hundred feet tall at its highest point(4), until he could do it without breaking his legs. But over two miles straight down? Naruto chose not to dwell on it any further.

**"Oh, don't be intimidated by such a little drop." **Kyuubi snorted. **"Even if you were somehow knocked out and thrown over the edge, you wouldn't die when you hit the bottom. If I couldn't make a youki cushion of some sort, then the cloak would simply function as a parachute. And before you ask, yes, it is smart enough to do that without you telling it to." **though Kyuubi wasn't the creator of the cloak, she knew what it was capable of.

That was another of the memories that had been "stolen" from the demonic vixen. She knew that she hadn't made the cloak, but couldn't remember who she'd gotten it from. However, she did remember putting it through rigorous testing to make sure it was a proper match for her Biosuit.

**"Besides, when you jump off the Hokage Monument, you reach terminal velocity well before you hit the ground. That being said, even a two-mile fall would have about the same impact as a five-hundred foot fall once you reached the bottom. You'd live, regardless."**

Naruto made a mental note to try the parachute function when he got back to Konoha, but the prospect of landing safely at the bottom sparked another question.

"Yugito, do you know what's at the bottom?" the masked boy asked, turning to the other demon vessel.

"Not from personal experience, but you know the giant bats Kumogakure is famous for?" Naruto nodded. "Well, according to the archives, they were actually discovered in the canyon by the third exploration team that was sent down there shortly after Kumogakure was established as a major village. Technically, it was more of a rescue team than exploration, as the first two exploration teams sent down never came back up. The same thing happened to the third team, but there were two survivors that managed to climb out and make it back to Kumo.

According to the records, they said that there was an entire ecosystem down there, complete with apex predators. Apparently, one of the 'top dogs' was a species of massive, carnivorous bat. And several of them followed the survivors out of the canyon, fourteen in all. Kumo sentries managed to kill five of them, but the rest got away, and eventually established themselves as apex predators up here, as well. I don't know what else is down there, but if it's anything like those bats, then it can stay down there forever as far as I'm concerned."

Naruto chuckled as Yugito picked up a rock and tossed it down. "Don't tell me your aim is that good."

"If I toss enough crap down there, I'm bound to hit something sooner or later." Yugito smiled cheekily.

"...Can't argue with that logic." afterall, there were hundreds, maybe even thousands of techniques out there that gave up precision in favor of dealing massive damage to a massive area.

The Shadow Shuriken Technique was a prime example of this logic in effect. If you couldn't hit your opponent with one projectile, do it with a thousand.

Naruto saw a brief flash in the distance and turned his attention to it, also noting that Yugito had flinched.

"There's a storm coming." Yugito said. "A bad one." another flash of lightning, and another flinch from the girl.

"Are you okay?" Naruto asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine. It's just part of the bloodline passed down to me from the Raikage. It makes me extremely sensitive to any kind of electrical discharge, and lightning just makes me outright paranoid." Yugito flinched again just as she was standing up, nearly falling over the edge of the cliff. "Dammit!"

"...Perhaps we should be go back to Kumo." Naruto suddenly felt very uneasy, almost like he was being watched. He couldn't sense anyone or anything at all, but that didn't mean there wasn't cause for concern. In fact, it was all the more reason to leave the area ASAP.

"Yeah, let's." both Yugito and Naruto nearly jumped when the wail of a siren rang out. "That's the Storm Alert siren. When that comes on, everyone goes inside, even the ninjas."

"I suppose we should heed the warning, then." Naruto said and began to walk back towards the village, Yugito just behind him.

Suddenly, the ground beneath them gave way and the Jinchuuriki found themselves falling into a pit that couldn't be anything but man-made.

(Meanwhile, Raikage's Office)

The Hokage was perplexed. Just seconds ago, he'd been hashing out the finer details of the peace treaty with the Raikage. Then, out of the blue, Kyuuzou started flinching every few seconds and looking out of the window behind him. After the fourth time it happened, the man turned to the intercom on his desk and told his secretary to have the Weather Monitoring Station sound the alarm.

Seconds later, a loud siren started up and the Hokage could see people scrambling in the streets down below, rushing to get back to their homes.

Kyuuzou, having noticed the look of confusion on Sarutobi's face, chuckled a little before explaining what was going on.

"As you know, Kumogakure is famous, or infamous as the case may be, for our frequent thunderstorms. Every once in a while, we get an especially violent storm that wreaks havoc on the village. Terrible winds, baseball-sized hail and lightning strikes too numerous to even think of counting. Even our strongest shinobi, with the greatest Lightning affinities, aren't allowed to wander around outdoors without permission during these types of storms. It's simply too dangerous."

The Sandaime Hokage nodded in understanding. "I've heard that your buildings are reinforced against hail and wind damage, and I saw that every building is fitted with a lightning rod."

"While the reinforced walls and glass do protect against hail and debris thrown by the wind, lightning isn't always drawn to the rods. Dozens of people, civilian and ninja alike, are killed by it every year in this village. As for my behavior...We do have a very effective weather monitoring station here in Kumo, but my Kekkei Genkai sort of turns me into a human weather station. You see, my family's Bloodline is all about electricity; producing it, conducting it and detecting it. In fact, from the day we're born, our bodies carry a huge electrical charge, which increases as we age and train." Kyuuzou held out his hands and miniature lightning bolts began to arc from one finger to another.

"With our Bloodline, we can fire off bolts from our bodies, absorb and control electricity from outside sources, and we're extremely sensitive to things like electromagnetic fields and electrical discharges. Lightning strikes, even miles away, feel like a sort of static shock to me, which is why I flinch." the Raikage attempted to shrug, but flinched again as he felt another lightning strike. "Dammit!"

Sarutobi didn't pay any attention to that, and had nearly tuned everything out after the Raikage had revealed that his Kekkei Genkai included large electric charges at birth. He knew he'd heard that somewhere before, but couldn't quite place it.

Then, like a bolt from the sky, it struck him, and his eyes widened in horror.

Kyuuzou immediately took notice of this. "What? What's wrong?"

"...Remember when I told you about Kushina's children?"

"Yeah, the triplets. What about them?"

"They...They're all products of rape. Don't ask me how it's possible, because I haven't the slightest, but this information comes directly from Kushina herself." technically, it was true, as the info was directly from her mind. "Over twelve years ago, when Kumo and Iwa were still close allies, a scouting party from both villages stumbled upon Kushina inside of a cave. She was able to kill them, but not before they all had their way with her. Kushina was impregnated, and, by some twisted 'miracle', each of her children took on traits from her rapists...And one of them was born with a massive electrical charge within his body, which has grown tremendously over the years." Sarutobi locked eyes with the shocked Raikage, the implication obvious.

For nearly an entire minute, Kyuuzou was speechless. His mouth moved, but words refused to come out.

'Brother...Even in death, you shame our family.' Kyuuzou's fists clenched and his entire body tensed up in anger. "...Hido...He was my older brother, as much as I hate to admit it. He was exiled from the Hoshigi clan as punishment for the shame he brought upon us with his disgusting actions. No one outside of the clan knew of my relation to him, and to this day, I have managed to keep it hidden from even my closest friends. Twelve years ago, he was the head of a four-man team chosen to join a scouting party from Iwa. In their last communication, they said that a storm had rolled in near the Eastern border of Fire Country and they were looking for shelter. They weren't heard from again after that." the Raikage had calmed himself by the time he finished, finding solace in the fact that one stain on the Earth had been wiped away.

"Looks like you have a nephew, then." the Hokage took a drag from his pipe.

"Yeah, the product of a deranged, psychopathic bitch, and a disgraced, sociopathic bastard. Kami, that kid must be fucked up."

(Uzu no Kuni)

"Alright, Kuishiro-chan, time for some reflex training." Kushina Uzumaki said to her blue-eyed, white-haired son.

"Yes, mother." the boy replied with a small sigh. His Bloodline gave him lightning-fast reflexes, quite literally, so any reflex training that didn't directly involve Kushina herself was usually mind-numbingly boring for him. This time, it appeared that it would be same exercise that he'd done thousands of times throughout his life: Kagimi would throw things at him, and he'd have to dodge them.

It may have been effective years ago, but now it was child's play. Even doing it with his eyes closed didn't make it more exciting. Then again, it was a chance to show off his abilities to his mother, and that was the only reason he never openly complained about it.

"Ready, Nii-san?" Kagimi asked, arms crossed in front of her, holding a kunai between each finger.

Kuishiro nodded, and Kagimi sent six kunai speeding towards him with velocity and precision honed through a decade of constant training.

Kuishiro waited until the last millisecond to dodge. These kunai were locked onto his chakra signature, and would simply follow his movements if he reacted too hastily. However, in that last millisecond, something unexpected happened: Kuishiro sneezed.

"Nii-san!" Kagimi was at her brother's side before he hit the ground, but it was Kushina who caught him and laid him down gently on the grass. "Oh, Kami, I'm so sorry! I didn't...I-I-I..." Kagimi began to hyperventilate upon seeing the copious amounts of blood seeping out around the six kunai now lodged in her brother's torso. Normally, she enjoyed the sight of blood; she was even somewhat aroused by it. But seeing it coming out of her own brother, and knowing that it was her fault, was something she wasn't equipped to handle.

In fact, the only thing that ever made her second guess her mother's plans was the possibility of seeing her brothers die attempting to subdue the demon.

"Kagimi-chan, calm yourself." Kushina said firmly, but gently. "Your brother will be fine, just don't touch the kunai; you might do more harm if you try to pull them out."

"That's right, Nee-san." Houshima said as he walked up almost casually. Though the perpetual aura of nonchalance had left him for the moment, he still didn't appear to be in any great hurry to help his fallen sibling. However, to those who knew him, his eyes betrayed just how worried he was. He loved his brother, and he'd sooner bow to the Kyuubi, or tell his mother to go fuck herself, than let Kuishiro die.

"How bad is it?" Kushina asked. To others, this might have been a stupid question, but when an Uzumaki was involved, it was almost always valid. What "normal" people considered a life-threatening injury, an Uzumaki considered flesh wound.

Houshima kneeled down next to his brother and pressed the index and middle fingers of his right hand to the side of Kuishiro's neck to check for his pulse. Nodding to himself, he took a few seconds to check over each kunai's position and depth.

"Well, half of the blades didn't go deep enough to do any real damage, but the other half did. One slipped through his ribs and punctured his left lung, another pierced his liver, and the last one sliced his right kidney...Once we get these out of him, he'll be at a hundred percent by tomorrow morning." the green-eyed boy tapped his brother on the forehead. "Hey, you awake?"

Kuishiro's right eye cracked open and focused on Houshima. He knew his lung had been punctured, so he didn't dare risk trying to speak.

"Good." Houshima said and slipped a finger through the ring on one of the kunai that had been stopped by his ribcage. "This is going to hurt. You ready?"

Kuishiro just closed his eye and gave a nearly unnoticeable nod. His body jerked slightly as the first one was pulled, but that was the only reaction he showed throughout the entire procedure. Pain was nothing to him. It was nothing to any of them, really. They'd been trained to be able to endure just as much as they could dish out, perhaps even more. So this wasn't anything he couldn't handle. If his lung didn't have a hole in it, he would've chuckled; even when he failed to dodge what was thrown at him, reflex training was _still_ child's play.

(Kumogakure no Sato - Sewer System)

The two Akatsuki members tasked with capturing the Nibi's Jinchuuriki were currently in one of the massive primary sewer tunnels meant to control large amounts of water. At the back of the tunnel, around a hundred feet from where the two nukenin were standing, was a reinforced wall that separated the two secondary tunnels as the main one forked off.

"Why did I let you talk me into this, again?" Kakuzu asked his partner with a bit of a growl.

He didn't like being down here, especially not with their current target. According to the intel they received from his contact on the Kumogakure Shinobi Council, the Jinchuuriki knew these tunnels very well; far better than either of them, even if they did have access to the original blueprints and the most recent maps. That didn't sit well with the pseudo-immortal. There were too many ways for things to go wrong.

"Because your other plans wouldn't have worked. Seriously, one of them involved catnip and a fucking cage trap!" Hidan growled right back.

"Excuse me? Catnip was a solid plan, and you know it. And the cage trap was YOUR idea!"

"I was being sarcastic, retard, but you seriously incorporated it into one of your half-assed 'plans'!" both "immortals" were close to shouting at one another now, their voices echoing off the stone walls of the massive tunnels.

"Bullshit. You wouldn't know sarcasm if it came up and cut your legs off with that scythe, so do you _seriously_ expect me to believe that you were being sarcastic? Are you _seriously_ going to tell such a bold-faced lie?"

"I don't lie, but I do take great pleasure in killing infidels such as yourself." it was true that Hidan never really lied. Sure, he withheld information, but he didn't lie. And it drove Kakuzu up the wall at times; just like everything else Hidan did.

"I would _seriously_ love to see you try." Kakuzu locked eyes with Hidan, daring him to try something.

So occupied were they with their stare-down, they didn't notice that their target had actually fallen for Hidan's incredibly simple trap. Essentially, it was nothing but a hole in the ground covered by broken plates of stone covered by dirt and held together by a seal that would deactivate as soon as a being with a significant chakra signature came into contact with it. Once the target had fallen in, chakra disruption seals were placed on the walls of the shaft to ensure that she couldn't use chakra to stick to them and just walk out of the hole.

While it was a well-thought-out trap, Kakuzu insisted that it was far too simplistic. In his view, they'd be lucky to catch a Genin with a trap that was really nothing more than a hole in the ground.

Kakuzu was forced to eat his words when both he and Hidan sensed their target on her way down.

"...One word, and I swear I'll sew your bottom lip to your eyelids. Again."

Hidan remained silent, but the smug smirk on his face irritated Kakuzu more than anything the younger immortal could've possibly said.

Both men turned away from each other just as their target and bits of rubble slammed into the five foot deep water, creating a respectable wave that both Akatsuki members easily hopped over.

Kakuzu, ever the impatient one, readied himself to descend upon the Jinchuuriki with full force, intent on landing as many crippling blows as he could before the element of surprise was lost and she had a chance to fight back. However, as usual, Hidan had plans of his own that directly conflicted with his partner's. Namely, praying to his "God of Bloodshed", Jashin.

'Oh, you have GOT to be shitting me!' Kakuzu's fists clenched and his priorities momentarily changed from beating and capturing the Jinchuuriki, to seeing just how many organs he could tear out of Hidan before his immortality finally gave out.

But the eighty-nine-year-old walking ragdoll was beaten to the punch.

Hidan's eyes snapped open and his prayer was halted by a massive hand of solid shadow blasting out of the water and plowing into his body. The dark appendage kept going, carrying Hidan upward, then diving down just before it hit the ceiling to smash the cultist into the solid stone floor beneath the water.

"The hell?!" Kakuzu snarled as he turned around. He barely had time to register the fact that his target was right in his face before a knee was rammed into his gut, driving the air from his lungs. Within a fraction of a second, a tantō was jammed into his back, piercing a heart that had been a key element in Kakuzu's ambush plans. Kakuzu's mind still hadn't caught up to what was happening to his body, thus leaving him vulnerable to more attacks; such as the violent knee to the face that lifted him a good two feet into the air. This was followed by a kick to the chest that sent him flying back over a hundred feet to smash into a wall back-first, forcing the tantō completely through his chest.

The water suddenly erupted as the shadow hand was sliced apart by a red blur that was revealed to be a triple-bladed scythe.

"What the fu-?!" Hidan's enraged scream was cut short by a knee effectively turning the bottom half of his face into a crater.

Naruto landed in a crouch in front of the grey-haired Akatsuki member and summoned the Black Soul. There would be no playing around here. These were two Kage-level shinobi, and it didn't get more serious than that.

In less time than it took to blink, Naruto had slashed at Hidan three times, and continued to do so. But the Jashinist didn't earn his place in Akatsuki by being slow. He ducked and weaved through many strikes, and blocked those that he couldn't avoid. A majority of the attacks weren't completely avoided, and Hidan's cloak was mostly sliced to ribbons. His skin didn't fare much better, with dozens of shallow cuts littering his body.

'This is the Kyuubi's Jinchuuriki! What the hell is he doing here?!' Hidan mentally raged. This kid wasn't their target, so they had next to no information on him. They just knew that he was strong and not to be underestimated, which was the general rule regarding Jinchuuriki in the first place.

Naruto refused to relent, and had actually upped the intensity of his assault, incorporating Taijutsu into his swordplay and dealing some heavy blows to his opponent. An opponent that, Naruto noticed, didn't so much as flinch when he was hit. He also noticed that the cuts he'd inflicted just seconds before had healed, and the man's crushed face was beginning to repair itself.

'Skill, power, apparent immunity to pain AND regenerative capabilities?...Well, I can't say I ever expected an Akatsuki member to be a pushover, so...' Naruto grinned behind his mask and prepared to test just how much damage his opponent's abilities could cope with. But then the grey-haired, maroon-eyed man did something completely unexpected.

He grabbed the Black Soul's blade with his bare hand. A move so bold and incredibly stupid that it totally threw Naruto off, costing him the advantage and shifting the balance in Hidan's favor.

The psychopath pounced on the opportunity and showed that, even at such close range, he could still use his weapon to lethal effect. But Hidan possessed the heaviest weapon of all the Akatsuki members, with the exception of Kisame's Samehada, and the immortal only had a fraction of the sharkman's physical power. This resulted in Hidan being the slowest attacker out of the entire organization, a fact that he always felt the need to point out.

That being said, most Jōnin would be hard-pressed to evade his attacks, even if they didn't buy into Hidan's "complaints" about being slow.

Naruto still held the advantage of the lighter, faster weapon, but Hidan's sheer skill in handling the scythe allowed him to attack at close range, all the while keeping the weapon's long snaith in prime position to block any potentially-crippling strike.

"You know something..." Hidan suddenly spoke while taking a swipe at his opponent's abdomen, only for the boy to pull back and cause the top blade of the scythe to miss by little more than an inch. "It would be best..." he went for an overhead strike, but the masked Jinchuuriki blocked by slipping his odachi in between the blades of the scythe, stopping them well before they hit, "if you just left right now."

Hidan smirked as the Jinchuuriki's defense opened up for a fraction of a second. He lifted his right leg and buried his foot into the boy's sternum with a forward thrust kick, and actually used his body as a springboard for a corkscrew flip that was intended to wrench the Jinchuuriki's still-trapped blade out of his hands. But Hidan failed to take into account his opponent's physical power, which was actually a fair bit greater than his own.

Naruto slid a little over a foot back from the kick, but held onto his sword and jerked it back as soon as the Akatsuki member left his feet. Seeing a prime opportunity to end the fight quickly, Naruto shot out his right leg in a vicious front thrust kick that was meant to connect with the top of the scythe-wielder's skull and crush it into mush, while compressing his spine like an accordion.

However, Hidan, somehow sensing that the Jinchuuriki would go for his head, managed to flip his body ninety degrees in midair and raised his right arm in front of his chest just before the attack hit. A millisecond later, a boot collided with his right forearm, snapping it like a dry twig and sending Hidan flying back several dozen feet.

"Shit!" Hidan hissed as he righted himself and slid to a stop on the water's surface. He'd even used chakra to reinforce his arm, yet the impact of the blow had pulverized both the radius and the ulna bones.

However, Hidan didn't get any time to think about what would've happened if it had been his head, as his opponent was immediately back on him. He barely blocked a high slash aimed at his neck, but once again failed to take into account his opponent's unnatural strength. He was effectively one-handed now, and his grip on the scythe's snaith was far too low to even attempt to resist the force of the strike.

The scythe pivoted in the man's hand as Naruto carried the attack through, causing him to duck down to avoid being decapitated. As the sword impacted the bottom blade of the scythe, the force ripped the weapon from the Akatsuki member's hand and launched it into the sewer wall about twelve feet his left.

'Hm, it's longer than I thought it was...' as they were fighting, Naruto had spied what looked like a large cable attached to the end of the scythe that went up into the left sleeve of his Akatsuki robe.

At first, Naruto had figured that the man sucked at unarmed combat, and kept his weapon attached to him so he'd never be without it. But Akatsuki was supposed to have been made up of the elite of the elite of nukenin, and having someone who sucked at Taijutsu in their ranks just didn't make sense. And now that the cable had been revealed to be extendable, it was most likely intended to give him extra reach, as well as keep his weapon attached.

Once again contradicting his talk of being "slow", Hidan took hold of the cable and jerked his scythe from the wall it had been embedded in. His masked opponent was forced to jump back to avoid the deadly blades. Just before the scythe struck another wall, Hidan gave the cable another tug, causing the weapon at the end of it to swing around behind him, where another tug sent it flying forward for another attack. As he did this, Hidan also jumped back to put some distance between himself and his opponent. With a wrecked arm, he couldn't afford a close-quarters battle at the moment.

'Well shit.' Naruto thought. He could sense the man using chakra to manipulate the cable and scythe, but the sheer speed at which he could do it was still incredible. Once again, Naruto cursed himself for being surprised at what an S-Class Nukenin was capable of. Afterall, surprise was arguably the greatest weapon in his own arsenal.

Naruto jerked his upper body to the side to avoid the scythe as it came back around over its wielder's head. He tried to grab it out of the air as it passed by, but with a wave of his arm, the grey-haired man caused the scythe to fly to the side, just out of Naruto's reach. The weapon was suddenly pulled back, leaving Naruto barely enough time to move his outstretched arm before it was lopped off.

As the cable retracted back into his robe, Hidan smirked at his opponent. Holding up his previously damaged right arm, he moved his thumb and index finger in a pinching motion, stopping them about half a centimeter before they touched.

"That close, brat."

"As close as you'll ever get." Naruto retorted. His opponent had proven to have some impressive offense, even at longer ranges, but now it was time to see how his defensive capabilities stacked up.

Naruto flew through a sequence of half-seals nearly too fast for the human eye to pick up. There was water all over the place, and he planned to use it.

Hidan simply whistled, apparently not worried in the least. "Wow, you're a quick little fucker, aren't you?" he recognized those seals, as he'd seen Kakuzu use them during a couple of their impromptu "side missions".

Naruto said nothing, deciding to let his attack speak for him. And speak, it would. The water level suddenly dropped by over three feet as a massive, cylindrical section of it rose up and quickly took the shape of a serpentine dragon.

Hidan's smirk immediately vanished. He'd seen the seals for the Water Encampment Wall, and _that_ certainly wasn't it.

Now it was Naruto's turn to smirk. "Were you expecting something else? Perhaps you shouldn't rely on your eyes so much in the dark." with that little pearl of wisdom, Naruto sent the liquid monster to devour the Akatsuki member. He wished he had control over the Water element like Haku did, then he could have the dragon swallow his opponent, then increase the pressure inside of it to crush the nukenin. But Water wasn't his specialty, so he's have to settle for a dragon-shaped battering ram.

Hidan didn't even try to avoid the dragon, knowing that it was pointless. The thing had expanded to take up pretty much every available inch of the tunnel, leaving him nowhere to go.

'Fuck, this is seriously gonna hurt.' Hidan sighed just before the dragon plowed into him. "FUUUUCK!" he cursed as he was swept away further down the tunnel.

Naruto shook his head. 'Somehow, I don't think he's all too concerned about dying...' though he didn't like to admit it, that worried him quite a bit.

**"If he is what I think he is, he might have no reason to be concerned." **Kyuubi said gravely.

'What do you mean?'

**"You saw the pendant he wears around his neck, right?"**

'Yeah, an inverted triangle inside of a circle. So what?' Naruto's eye twitched as the image of a feminine hand digging a silver necklace out of a pile of ashes flashed through his mind. 'Not now!' through sheer force of will, Naruto kept the memory from progressing further.

**"...That's the symbol of Jashin, the so-called 'Blood God'. Like all Gods, or Demigods in this case(5), he has a religion devoted solely to him, called simply 'Jashinism'. He bestows several 'gifts' upon his followers, one of which includes a form of immortality. Fortunately, most of them don't survive the process of gaining that ability. I haven't seen one in hundreds of years."**

'Great...Of all things, a fucking immortal? Any idea how to put him down permanently?'

Kyuubi gave a mental shrug. **"The last one I encountered pissed me off and I buried him in an ocean trench. For all I know, he could still be down there, trying to keep the deep-sea fishes from picking at him. That is, if he wasn't crushed by the thousands of tons of rock falling on him, or the pressure at that depth." **

'Hm, crushing sounds like it might work. But even if it doesn't, it's at least guaranteed to keep him out of the fight for a while.' Naruto's immediate thought was to use the Shadow's Embrace on the "immortal", and he nearly smacked himself as soon as it came to him.

There were no lights down here, and that meant this was his domain. There was the distinct possibility that he could kill both Akatsuki members in an instant, and they'd be powerless to stop him!

'Well, I guess everyone's entitled to a few moments of idiocy...' Naruto then took off down the tunnel, where he could see Yugito holding her own against the Akatsuki member with the mask.

Naruto resisted the urge to chuckle maliciously as the darkness pooled around him, awaiting his orders. He then felt a cooling sensation in the back of his head and the shadows retreated as his control was usurped.

_**"Uh, uh, uh, that won't do at all."**_ Naruto whipped around with a furious snarl, instantly recognizing the voice. Sure enough, standing atop the water about thirty yards away, there was Shizaru, wagging a finger at Naruto tauntingly.

"You again." the hanyou hissed, eyes glowing crimson with rage.

_**"Me again. Time for your first test; let's see what you're capable of without the shadows to aid you."**_

Naruto snorted. "So be it, I'm winning anyway."

_**"Hm, I suppose you **_**were**_**..."**_

The telltale sound of a chakra-enhanced blow hitting home caused Naruto to turn back around, but he didn't react fast enough to avoid being knocked back by the flying body of Yugito.

XXXX

And it's done! Shizaru's back, and as usual, he's fucking up Naruto's program!

It was a real bitch figuring out where to cut this chapter off, but I think it turned out nicely. In fact, I like how this chapter turned out as a whole. I thought this one was going to be somewhat subpar, but I think it's better than the last one. It lacks the level of humor present in the last chapter, but it makes up for that with more character development and a whole lot more action. Overall, a noticeably more serious chapter. Kinda light on the jokes, and the banter is far less innuendo-oriented...for the most part, anyway.

(1) Everclear is, as far as I know, the strongest brand of alcohol currently available in the United States. Why is it here, and why does it still have its English name?

Besides the fact that the Japanese translation sounds stupid, the language that is spoken/written in this version of the Narutoverse is NOT actually Japanese. Due to cataclysmic events that will be detailed later, people migrated from the West to the East, and brought their languages along with them. Since that time, the cultures integrated into one another and a new, "universal language" was created, composed mostly of English and Japanese. That being said, when certain things, like ninja techniques, are referred to in English, that indicates that the technique has Western origins, and techniques in Japanese have Eastern origins. This also goes for certain objects and brand names, like Everclear.

But it's not only Japanese and English, as different regions have different variations and degrees of language integration. For example, there are some regions in Water Country were Italian is a large portion of the spoken/written language. And Snow Country has several small villages where Russian makes up a big chunk of the language.

I wanted to bring a little more life and uniqueness to the world I've created, and cultural integration is just one of many steps I've taking to accomplish that.

(2) That's right, the Nibi no Nekomata isn't actually a demon, but a very, very powerful Spirit Beast. I'll be detailing her time in the Shinigami's employ, and how she became the Two-tailed Demon Lord, in later chapters.

(3) I have no idea what Kumo's actual elevation is, as I've never come across any data pertaining to that.

(4) Once again, I have no idea just how tall the Hokage Monument is, so I just made it about the same size as Mount Rushmore(minus the 5700+ft elevation).

(5) "Demigod", in this sense, doesn't mean a half-human God; simply a Lesser God.

It's going to be time for some more reader involvement soon. I've decided that it's time for a new summary for Black Flames, but I've run into some problems. I've only been able to come up with a few really good ones, but they've all been too long for the 255 character limit(couldn't they bump it up to at least 300?). So, if anyone has any suggestions, feel free to share! Also, if the ones that come in don't have that "it" factor, then I'll continue trying to make ones that conform to the site limits. Once I do, I'll hold a poll for you guys to vote on which one you like the most.

But that limit is REALLY annoying, so coming up with a few good summaries on my own might take me a little while. So, until then, send me your suggestions, and we'll see where things go from there.

And once again, I couldn't think of a good title for the chapter. So, if you've got any suggestions for that, I'm all ears...er, eyes.

I think that's about it for now. I've there's anything I missed, or any questions you have, you guys know what to do. As usual, I'll answer any questions(within reason)to the best of my abilities.

Until next time!

Jason Out!


	35. In Over Their Heads

What's up, people? DKW has returned, and he brings with him the next installment of Black Flames Dance in the Wind: Rise of Naruto! He also speaks about himself in the third person for some inexplicable reason!

Anyway...Sorry about the delay, I had a lot of shit going on, but it's been mostly taken care of at this point. I won't bore you with the details, but let's just say that I've finally taken back control of my life.

But life isn't the only reason for the month-long delay. Remember how these last three updates were all originally supposed to be one Super-Chapter? Well, the first one was fine as a standalone chapter, and the second only needed slight modifications. But this third one needed an almost complete overhaul, as it wasn't worthy to stand on its own as it was.

However, during this overhaul, the Idea Factory decided to awaken again, and, as usual, fucked all my plans straight into the ground. I just kept adding stuff and adding stuff, and before I knew it, I had...this. Just so you know, this chapter is pretty much ALL action. I originally planned to add other things to give the chapter more substance, but I couldn't find any place to put it where it wouldn't completely destroy the flow of the action. So, I decided to split it up, and put most of the non-action stuff in the next chapter.

Personally, I believe that even the greatest of fight scenes can get boring if they drag on for too long(coughBleachcough). But, I got away with it in Chapter Twenty-five(Naruto vs. Kushina), and seeing as how this is another "Milestone Fight", I hope I can do the same here. Plus, this is really two fights in one, with Naruto vs. Hidan and Yugito vs. Kakuzu. There is a bit of humor thrown in here and there, and most of it is quite morbid.

Also, shoutouts to the following for submitting ideas for the new Black Flames summary:

Tribernator, Drk Kitsune, KitsuneNoYomeiri, T-Biggz and Doctor Yami(love the "Ever seen the inside of a can of whoop-ass?" line, btw).

I guess that's it for now, so onto the story!

XXXX

Both ninja quickly recovered with an identical set of back flips that ended with them standing four feet apart, about thirty yards away from the Akatsuki team.

"...My guy's apparently some kind of immortal." Yugito said, panting slightly.

"Same here. Does your guy use any kind of weapon?"

"As far as I can tell, he IS a weapon. He's got these weird tentacle-things inside his body, and apparently they aren't satisfied with just being under his skin..." Yugito winced as she checked for broken ribs. "As far as I can tell, he doesn't carry any weapons. He's a Taijutsu monster, so I doubt he has any need for them." the man had speed, power and technique, making him worthy of his S-class ranking.

(Three Minutes Earlier)

Yugito had pierced her opponent's heart, and normally her instincts would tell her to go and help Naruto take out the other threat, but this time they were telling her to press her advantage and continue the onslaught. She wasn't in the habit of willingly ignoring her instincts, so she dashed forward after kicking the man away.

As the taller of the two Akatsuki members hit the wall, the tantō in his back was forced completely through his body with such force that it flew out of his chest. Yugito caught the blade before it hit the water and lunged upward from a crouch, thrusting the short sword up into the man's jaw and through his brain, with the tip emerging from the top of his skull.

The nukenin's eyes widened, then his entire body turned brown and collapsed into a pile of mud that quickly sank beneath the water.

"Shit!" Yugito hissed and jumped up to cling on the ceiling just as black and red blur shot out of the water and smashed into the wall where she'd been just milliseconds before.

The cloud of pulverized rock thrown around by the violent impact obscured Yugito's view of her opponent, but she was still able to instinctively dodge an axe kick that left a crater nearly three feet in diameter.

"You know" the man said as he launched a right jab at Yugito's face, only for her to move her head to the side to avoid it, "I was going to go easy on you." he followed his attack with a low left hook aimed at her ribs, which she blocked. Barely.

"Really?" Yugito snorted, trying to act as if she was unfazed by the assault, which was far from the truth. 'How the hell can he be this strong?! He's not even using chakra to enhance his strikes; this is pure physical power!' and, from what she could tell, he had both speed and technique to back up that power.

"Yeah, really." the man went for a high roundhouse kick, which Yugito ducked under, then he allowed himself to fall from the ceiling to avoid a leg sweep.

Yugito followed him down, but launched herself at him instead of allowing herself to fall. As she neared him, she performed a quick front flip and extended her right leg, using the momentum for an axe kick of her own. However, it was sidestepped by the nukenin in another impressive display of speed.

"I didn't want to damage your body too much." the man suddenly appeared at Yugito's side as she landed, forcing her to immediately hop back to avoid a hard backfist strike. "You see, when we extract your Bijū..." he lunged again, unleashing a brief flurry of strikes that had Yugito's enhanced reflexes working overtime. "You're going to die." the man was forced to stop his assault when a clawed hand nearly took his face off.

Now it was Yugito's turn to go on the offensive. "Well...I guess I'll...just have to...kill you first...won't I?"

The nukenin from Takigakure ignored her and continued to talk, all the while keeping up a solid guard that Yugito just couldn't get through.

"I know that you've got a Kekkei Genkai, inherited from your father, the Yondaime Raikage." Yugito tried not to let her surprise show, but the odd 'twinkle' in the man's eyes told her she'd failed. "Oh, we've got all kinds of info on you. I've got a..._colleague_ that has a special interest in people with Bloodlines. Specifically, their bodies."

The way he was talking so calmly while easily withstanding and evading her offense was starting to unnerve Yugito. He had to have been toying with her, as he seemed far too relaxed and nonchalant to be taking the battle seriously.

"He would've paid handsomely for you...Or, failing that, I'm sure I could find some freak willing to pay a hefty sum so he could defile your corpse." the nukenin suddenly lunged, taking a tantō to the left shoulder like it was nothing, and planting his right knee in Yugito's gut. He then grabbed her long hair, pulled her head back and leaned in close to her face as she gasped for air and tried to keep the blood and bile from spewing out of her mouth. "But now you've really pissed me off, so I'm going to break every part of you that I can without killing you!" he hissed, obviously enraged.

Yugito's eyes flashed bright yellow for a split second and another tantō shot out of her right sleeve into her waiting hand. She smirked as she saw the nukenin's eyes widen and her hand rocketed forward to plunge the blade into his heart.

But the "surprise" attack was averted by a large and immensely powerful hand wrapping around her wrist.

"I don't think so. I'm not about to let you destroy another one, gir-!" the man's words were cut short as he sensed a sudden pulse of chakra.

Yugito also felt it, but had the wherewithal to escape the nukenin's hold while he was distracted. The fingernails of her left hand grew into razor-sharp claws and she lashed out, raking them across the nukenin's abdomen. She allowed herself a grin as she felt flesh part before her claws. Yugito found herself wishing she'd used chakra, which would've allowed her to cleave the man apart with one attack. But she'd been in a rush, so four deep incisions would have to suffice for the moment.

The man gave a pained growl as he jumped back some twenty feet and landed in a crouch. "...Fuck orders, I'm just going to kill you and be done with it. I might keep some of your organs...I wonder if a Jinchuuriki heart is any different from a normal person's..." he chuckled and stood to his full height of six feet, three inches(1). He grunted slightly as something moved inside of his cloak.

Yugito barely had time to think before a huge mass of black, thread-like tendrils shot out of the gashes in the man's cloak and flesh. As they neared her, they intertwined with one another to form a solid structure; a twisted lance that looked something like a giant sharpened hunk of braided steel cable. Luckily, her bloodline, combined with her training and natural instincts, allowed her body to react even before her mind fully processed what was going on. She sidestepped to avoid the spear, then jumped back to put more distance between herself and her opponent.

Speaking of her opponent, he found himself impressed at the girl's raw speed. She'd moved fast enough to create a faint afterimage that lingered in his vision for a full second before his brain finally registered her movement.

"The intel said you were quick, but this surpasses any of my expectations." the man chuckled maliciously as the black threads finally retreated back into his body, sewing up his wounds along the way. "Perhaps this won't be a waste of ti-!" he was interrupted by a huge wall of water smashing him into the wall to his left with such force that it nearly buckled.

"Shit!" Yugito cursed as she jumped up to the ceiling to avoid the oncoming waves and surveyed the damage. That wall acted as one of the main support structures in this section of the sewer, so if it went, they could all potentially be buried under hundreds of tons of soil and rock. Fortunately, while the regular walls were reinforced with common, low-alloy steel rebar, dividing/support walls had titanium alloy rebar backing them up.

As the water finally calmed, Yugito saw both Akatsuki members lying in a pitiful heap that would've been hilarious if not for the fact that they were S-Class criminals that could and would cripple them if given the opportunity. This fact was also why the teen kunoichi found herself puzzled as to why Naruto wasn't all over them, as it was obvious that he was the cause of the nukenins' current immobilization.

Yugito had no intention of turning her back on the two, so she made a Water Clone to watch them while she looked over to see what was up with Naruto. Water manipulation may not have been her specialty, but during her time at the water management facility she, like all other non-civilian technicians, learned both the Water Clone and Mud Clone techniques(2).

What Yugito saw when she looked down the tunnel puzzled her more than anything she'd seen thus far. He was turned away from her completely, paying no attention to either her or their enemies. His stance was incredibly tense, almost as if he was trying to restrain himself.

"You again." he was apparently talking to someone that she couldn't see. Someone hidden within a wall of darkness that not even her powerful night vision could penetrate.

Channeling chakra into her ears, Yugito tried to listen in on the conversation.

_**"-what you're capable of without the shadows to aid you." **_she caught the last bit of what whomever Naruto was talking to had said, confirming that he wasn't just talking to himself or his demon.

"So be it," she heard Naruto snort, "I'm winning anyway."

Yugito's eyes widened as she picked up something in Naruto's tone that she thought she'd never hear: fear. Whoever, or whatever Naruto was talking to, he seemed to be suppressing his "fight or flight" response in order to stand his ground and appear as though he wasn't intimidated.

That didn't bode well for the two Jinchuuriki at all, in Yugito's mind. Naruto hadn't hesitated to attack an S-Class nukenin, so whatever was scaring him now had to be well beyond their current opponents. If she had to guess, Yugito would wager that it wasn't even human.

_**"Hm, I suppose you **_**were**_**." **_as soon as those words were spoken, Yugito's danger sense went ballistic.

She heard her clone gasp slightly and whirled around just in time to catch a chakra-enhanced punch to the chest that sent her flying.

(Flashback End)

"Who the hell were you talking to, anyway?" if there was another threat down here, then she damn sure wanted to know about it.

"I'll tell you after we deal with these two." Naruto growled lightly as he watched the gray-haired Akatsuki member gets back to his feet and stands beside his partner.

Yugito just glanced at him suspiciously before nodding. She knew there was something going on, but she couldn't afford to think about it at the moment.

Meanwhile, Kakuzu and Hidan were having their own "conversation".

"So much for your plan, moron." Kakuzu growled at Hidan. The girl had destroyed his Water heart, which he'd planned to use to keep the upper hand down here. It allowed him to unleash powerful attacks with minimal chakra usage. But now that as all thrown out the window. Luckily, he'd planned ahead, as usual, and had saved the mud left over from digging the trap so he could make use of his Earth heart.

"How the fuck was I supposed to know the Kyuubi Jinchuuriki would be with the bitch?!" Hidan countered, standing up as well, seemingly no worse for the wear after taking such a powerful attack from the masked demon vessel.

"Well, maybe if we'd been on the damn surface, we'd have known and could've properly prepared for it!"

"You know what? According to our intel, it would've only taken one of us to bring the bitch down; you said so yourself. So you could've went off and did your own thing. Seriously, Kakuzu, I didn't fucking make you come down here, so don't try to pin this shit all on me!"

Kakuzu sighed heavily and pinched the bridge of his nose in annoyance. "When I said that, I was referring to myself, dumbass. In other words, I was saying that _I _did not need _YOU_ to complete this mission. _Seriously_, Hidan, you should pull your head out of '_Jashin-sama's_' ass every once in a while and pay attention!"

Hidan's eyes blazed with an unholy fury and he took a swipe at the Takigakure nukenin with his scythe. "What have I told you about insulting Jashin-sama?! One more word, and the Jinchuuriki will be the least of your worries!"

As the two criminals glared at each other, the two Jinchuuriki watched the spectacle with large sweatdrops on the back of their heads. Were these guys really part of THE most powerful criminal organization in the world?

'I guess this is what happens when you force nukenin to work together.' Yugito thought.

"Well, at least we've got names now." Naruto muttered. He made a mental note to ask the Hokage if he knew anything about either of them. But he felt like he'd heard the name "Kakuzu" before.

"Hey, Naruto..." Yugito whispered, not taking her eyes off of the still-arguing nukenin.

"Yeah?"

"Shouldn't we be, I don't know, taking advantage of the situation? I mean, they aren't paying any attention to us at all!"

"Or so it seems. As Hatake-_sensei_ likes to say, look underneath the underneath. When the masked one, Kakuzu, dodged Hidan's attack, he placed himself in a prime position to watch all of us. He's obviously the brains of that team."

Yugito nodded, her own suspicions confirmed. She thought that the taller of the two Akatsuki members was still keeping track of them, but the way they both acted caused her to think she might have been giving him too much credit. But now she knew better and decided that hanging back and coming up with a plan was the best course of action.

"So, what now?" Yugito's ranking of "Tokubetsu Chūnin" wasn't entirely unjustified. She wasn't the greatest strategist in the world, and neither was her demon.

"Well, Akatsuki put those two together for a reason. It certainly wasn't because their personalities clicked, so they must have abilities that complement one another's, such as being 'immortal'. That being said, I think the first order of business is to separate them."

"Sounds good to me, but who's taking on who?"

"I'll take the dumb one. I may be able to outsmart him and beat him without using up too much chakra, then I can help you out with the other one if need be."

Normally, Yugito would've taken offense to someone implying that she couldn't handle herself, but this wasn't a normal situation. She was going to be taking on the smartest, and possibly the strongest of the two enemies. An enemy that she knew nothing about, and one that knew everything about her.

"Alright...Just, hurry it up, will you? Apparently, they've got all kinds of info on me, but I've got nothing on them. Depending on what they know, things can go South for me real quick. Also, watch where you aim your more destructive attacks. If you hit a support structure, you might bring an entire tunnel down on you." Yugito's eyes narrowed as the nukenin finally stopped arguing and turned their attention back to the Jinchuuriki.

"Alright, kiddies." Hidan called, swinging his scythe up to rest on his right shoulder. "Fox Fucker: last chance to leave and save yourself from a shitload of pain. Cat Cunt: last chance to surrender and save yourself from a shitload of pain."

"Perhaps you should take your own advice, Cultist Cocksucker." Naruto shot back. "That so-called 'immortality' of yours has to have a limit, and I'm going to find it."

Hidan was about to reply, but his partner's chuckling caused the tick mark on his forehead to increase in size. "And just what the fuck is so funny?"

"'Cultist Cocksucker', eh? I like that. Looks like someone knows about your 'faith'." Kakuzu continued to chuckle, knowing it pissed his partner off.

Hidan once again took a swipe at Kakuzu, who dodged it simply by leaning to the side.

"Maybe I should just leave you here to fight them by yourself!" the much younger man threatened.

Kakuzu just sighed. "Maybe you shouldn't take your eyes off the enemy."

Hidan's eyes widened just before a black blur rammed him with the force of a freight train and carried him off down the tunnel.

Kakuzu just shook his head, then quickly raised his arm to block the blade of a tantō, much to the wielder's surprise.

"The hell?" Yugito whispered to herself as the nukenin held her blade at bay with just his arm.

"Looks like it's just you and me again, eh? I'd love to play around some more, but I can't let your boyfriend kill my partner. As irritating as he is, he's still quite useful in battle."

"You shouldn't worry about him." a second Yugito suddenly appeared behind Kakuzu and rammed two tantō into his back.

"Because you're both going to die down here." the clone said as it twisted the blades within the wounds.

However, Kakuzu's face showed neither surprise nor pain as he was impaled. No, he actually seemed to look...bored. His face remained impassive until he turned brown and sank beneath the water.

Yugito and her clone shared a shocked look just before the clone's head was violently separated from its body, causing it to explode like an overfilled water balloon. The kunoichi herself leapt back, narrowly avoiding the same fate.

Kakuzu suddenly appeared in the spot the clone had "vacated". His right arm was covered in his black threads, which extended another three and a half feet out and hardened to form a blade(3).

"You know, though I enjoy fighting, there are times when I just wish people would cooperate." the nukenin glared at his target. "But I always seem to run into the assholes that want to do things the hard way."

Yugito, instead of coming up with a witty retort, simply sighed in exasperation. "Look, I know you're some kind of big, bad, S-Class criminal and all, but could you shut up? You're not going to intimidate me into giving up, so just stop trying." small bolts of electricity continuously arced along the blades of Yugito's shortswords. "I know what will happen if you extract the Nibi, so surrendering is guaranteed death. I at least have a chance at survival if I keep fighting."

Kakuzu snorted. "No, you don't." as the final word left his mouth, the living ragdoll lunged at his prey.

(Naruto vs. Hidan)

'Fucking OW!' Hidan thought as his head rung from a solid right hook delivered by his opponent. While he was somewhat accustomed to taking superhuman punches, mostly from Kakuzu, they didn't exactly tickle.

But a little pain never stopped him. _Ever_. His entire fighting style revolved around pain; both his and the opponent's.

After Naruto had tackled the man, he'd carried him off down one of the smaller tunnels, where he'd been forced to let him go, or get three rather large blades stuck in his back. However, what Naruto hadn't counted on was the incline of the smaller tunnel, and the steady flow of water turning it into a slick ramp that made fighting difficult.

Which was why both Naruto and Hidan were using the walls and ceiling to fight, avoiding the water altogether. However, Naruto was beginning to rethink his plan, which had been to get his opponent into a more confined area and make his larger weapon a disadvantage. The storm Yugito had been talking about was right above them, and the water level was steadily rising, limiting their space more and more.

But space was just about the last thing on either combatant's mind. The speed with which they were trading blows didn't allow for them thinking of anything else but their next move. Their weapons were little more than black and red blurs. To any onlooker, it would appear as though the weapons were doing things that they shouldn't be able to, such as bending mid-strike in an attempt to breach the opposition's seemingly impregnable guard. The "clang" of metal-on-metal and the brief flashes of sparks were the only real indications that they weren't just waving around colored ribbons.

Could he afford to think of anything beyond fighting, Naruto would've been cursing his initial plan. He'd made an assumption without having sufficient evidence to back it up. As it turned out, the nukenin had some experience in fighting in tight spaces, and knew just how to use his weapon in those situations. The Jashinist had altered his technique to optimize combat effectiveness in such close quarters, and maintained formidable balance of speed, power and defense by handling his scythe more like a bo-staff for the majority of the flurry. This was made all the more incredible by the fact that the cable attached to the scythe significantly hampered its capabilities as a staff-like weapon.

But despite his skill, the style wasn't perfect, as Naruto had managed to score dozens of small scratches all over the "immortal's" body. Though he was able to adequately compensate for the lack of maneuverability caused by the cable, Hidan fell into a pattern that Naruto was quick to notice. Whenever he made a committed attempt at a killshot, he would change his grip on the scythe in order to tip the balance more towards power. During these attacks, there were two openings in his otherwise nearly impervious defense; the first being as soon as he changed his grip, and the second right after his attack missed.

The first was just a bit too brief for Naruto to capitalize on, as evidenced by three failed attempts in the time that they'd been at it. The second, however, was just begging to be taken advantage of. The only thing that stopped Naruto from trying was his focus on keeping his blood off Hidan's three blades. By the time Naruto dodged the strike and registered the opening, the window of opportunity was closed.

But this time, he was ready for it.

As soon as Hidan changed his grip, Naruto did the same and switched to a right-hand reverse grip on his sword. A split second after ducking under an attempted killing stroke, Naruto lashed out at the nukenin's exposed head, aiming right the left temple. Kyuubi had told him that traditional decapitation wouldn't kill the Jashinist, but perhaps destroying the brain directly would be more effective.

Once again displaying surprising speed and reflexes, Hidan managed to jump back out of range of the four-foot blade, but the tip did manage to leave a bone-deep cut along his forehead. But he wasn't out of the woods. Not by a longshot.

You see, the thing about head wounds, specifically those that break the skin, is that they bleed a LOT. This is especially true if said wound manages to go deep enough to sever one or more of the four fairly large blood vessels that run through the forehead.

Naruto's blade managed to sever all four, and the blood started flowing instantly.

If Hidan had remained attached to the ceiling, the blood would've flowed into his hair; no big deal. But when he jumped back, he left himself vulnerable to the force of gravity. Now using chakra to stick himself to the inclined floor under the water, Hidan soon started screaming obscenities as his vision was completely impaired by his own blood.

"GAH! Time out!" Hidan cried, trying frantically the clear the blood from his eyes with the sleeve of his Akatsuki robe.

For the second time since their battle began, Naruto was brought to a temporary halt by the sheer absurdity of what his opponent had done.

"...Are you shitting me?" Naruto cocked his head to the side, resisting the urge to facefault.

"...Holy shit, you seriously stopped!" Hidan stated, honestly shocked.

"Is this how you win all of your battles? Continuously doing things of increasing stupidity, until your opponent is finally bewildered enough to leave himself open?" Naruto wasn't mocking the nukenin; he was legitimately curious. He had to admit, if that was really the case, then it was a somewhat sound strategy. Especially if you happened to be virtually indestructible.

Hidan's cut had finally stopped bleeding, and he wiped the remaining blood from his eyes, allowing him to look suitably enraged by the comment.

"Hey! It's not like I meant to say that, you asshole! It just...came out!" seriously, he had no idea what made him say "time out" in the middle of a fight.

"This isn't some little kiddy game, but if that's how you want to play..." in a flash of movement that Hidan wasn't prepared for, Naruto launched the man down the tunnel with a haymaker that would make a certain legendary medic proud. "Tag, you're it."

His head once again ringing, Hidan tumbled for what felt like miles before he finally came to rest. However, the tunnel emptied at the top of a large reservoir. According to the intel, these reservoirs held water until it reached back up to the feed tunnel, which would trip a sensor that allowed the water to be drained out through three separate tunnels that led to other reservoirs. The process would repeat until the water finally reached one of Kumo's water treatment plants.

Currently, this particular reservoir was about half full, with the water level just shy of twenty feet, and rising by the minute. And unfortunately for Hidan, not only did he have to go through a twenty-foot fall, but he was now a good eight feet underwater.

Hidan _hated_ being underwater. The fact that he couldn't swim was known only to Hidan himself, and he planned to keep it that way for a long, LONG time. Though drowning wouldn't kill him, it evoked two instinctive responses in him that he didn't like one bit: fear and panic. But he had learned, long ago, how to turn that fear and panic into rage. And like any good psychopath, he could harness that rage and turn it into raw power.

With a burst of chakra, Hidan blasted up to the surface of the water, then jumped up and back into the end of the feed tunnel. His eyes almost glowed with uncontained malice and fury. Adding to his rage was the fact that a kid nearly half his age was making a complete fool out of him(4). His strength amplified by these emotions, the cultist hurled his scythe up the tunnel, where he could just barely make out his opponent looking down at him. He idly wondered if that was the hardest he'd ever thrown the scythe, as the cable left severe rope burns all along his arm and hand.

Meanwhile, Naruto was debating on what do use as a follow-up move. Yugito had told him to cut down on the destruction to avoid a cave-in, so he needed something more precise to minimize collateral damage. That meant Wind would be the element of choice, but what to use? Naruto didn't exactly have a vast repertoire of Wind-based Techniques, and only a few of the ones that he did know would be effective in his current situation.

'I think Kaze no Yaiba should do the trick.' the wind blades were sure to dismember the enemy, while doing minimal damage to the tunnel walls.

But a large, red scythe flying at him with frightening speed drove all thoughts of dismemberment, save his own, from his mind. He managed to sidestep it, but not completely, resulting in an inch-deep gash on his left shoulder. The scythe suddenly came to a stop just behind him, then shot backwards, lunging sideways as it passed him. Naruto sidestepped again, but didn't completely avoid it and received another cut just under his ribcage.

**"Don't let that scythe get back to him!" **Kyuubi suddenly screamed, causing Naruto to flinch.

Naruto's body reacted to the command before his mind even fully registered it, and took off after the weapon.

'What's the problem? He got in a few lucky shots, so what?' it was just a couple minor cuts, both of which were already mostly healed.

**"It's not the cuts, it's the blood! If he gets the chance to ingest your blood, you can kiss any plans you had before goodbye!" **Kyuubi, from her last dealing with a Jashinist, knew exactly what happened when their kind got a taste of blood. **"You think he's trouble now? Well, he's going to get a whole lot worse if you don't stop that weapon!"**

Realizing that he wasn't going to be able to catch up to the speeding weapon in time, Naruto unwrapped the battle chain from around his torso and flung it at the retreating scythe. With chakra manipulating it, the chain easily caught the triple-bladed weapon by wrapping around its snaith and holding tight.

The power it had been pulled with startled Naruto when it nearly tore his right arm out of its socket. But potential disaster had been averted, and, as a bonus, Hidan was left wide open.

"Gotcha." Naruto chuckled before taking a deep breath, then forcefully exhaling a large stream of fire that travelled along his chain at tremendous speeds.

At the other end of the locked weapons, Hidan's face was set in a deep scowl. "Fucking Dragon Fire..." he cursed through gritted teeth. In his opinion, the main drawback of his choice of weapon was the fact that he couldn't just let go of it. He'd been electrocuted, frozen, burned and battered several times as a direct result of not being able to separate himself from his weapon.

But that didn't mean he was willing to take a Dragon Fire Technique to the face; not after what happened the last time. A few months ago, in a rare moment of foresight, Hidan had blackmailed Kakuzu into teaching him several techniques, most of which were defensive. Among these techniques was the Water Encampment Wall.

The last time he was faced with the Dragon Fire Technique, he'd forgotten all about putting up a wall of water, even though he had been right next to a river at the time. The technique had burned the skin away from most of his upper body, including his face, and completely torched his Akatsuki robe. But that wasn't the worst of it. On that day, Hidan found out that his hair didn't regenerate as readily as the rest of him. Needless to say, Kakuzu never let him live that down, and still brought it up at least twice a day.

'Tiger, Snake, Tiger.' the water before him instantly responded to his wishes and shot up to form a sizable barrier just before the stream of flames reached him. The nukenin then took a page out of his partner's book and used the huge cloud of steam that was created to conceal his next move.

**"...That's new." **Kyuubi muttered. She'd never known Jashinists to use techniques outside of their own Secret Arts.

"Dammit" Naruto growled and yanked on the chain, attempting to pull Hidan out of the steam and back into view.

But even with a mighty tug, nothing gave. Not the chain, not the scythe, not the cable, and certainly not the adversary. Then there was another tug, this time from the other end, that took Naruto right off his feet. Unable to regain his footing, Naruto slammed the Black Soul's blade into the tunnel floor to slow himself in order to stand. But a chakra spike forced him to dive to the ground again.

A small distortion in the air rocketed through the space that Naruto's head had occupied milliseconds before. It travelled only some fifteen yards before losing speed and finally disappearing with a low "whoosh" noise.

"Guess I should work on my range, eh?" Hidan laughed from within the steam cloud. The technique he'd just used was called the "Compression Bullet"; a little-known and rarely used Wind Release technique that was intended as a smaller, more precise version of the Great Breakthrough.

Taking a breath, Hidan took aim and began the proper sequence of hand seals. He wanted to wait for the boy to stand up and make himself a bigger target, but he figured that wasn't going to happen, so he'd take what he could get.

Despite the danger, Naruto was grinning behind his mask. 'Wind techniques? Well then, let's see how he likes this.' gambling on his opponent using the same technique again, Naruto slowly stood up, intentionally making himself a perfect target.

'Gotcha!' Hidan grinned maliciously, then fired another Compression Bullet dead-center into the Jinchuuriki's chest...Right before he remembered that Akatsuki needed the boy _alive_. 'Well shit...'

But there was no reason to worry. At least, not for Naruto. Once the air bullet was within arm's reach, Naruto grabbed onto it with both hands and stopped it dead. With his strong affinity for Wind, Naruto easily commandeered the attack and managed to turn the pathetic breeze it generated when dissipating into a gust on par with those generated by the strongest of tornadoes.

By channeling this gust ahead of him, Naruto was able to use the tunnel itself to focus the winds and created a sort of air cannon that not only swept away the steam, but could've very well torn Hidan apart. Naruto instantly saw the potential for a devastating attack. While what had happened was similar to the Great Breakthrough, he noticed that the gust had started to rotate as it collided with the walls and travelled down the tunnel. This created, for lack of a better term, a horizontal tornado, packing the destructive force of a siege ram.

If he could find a way to create and maintain that rotation without using the environment to aid him...

"That stung like a _bitch_!" Hidan's voice echoed through the tunnel.

The sudden noise threw Naruto off enough for the subsequent violent pull on the captured scythe to, once again, rip him off his feet and send him flying the rest of the way down the tunnel and into the reservoir.

'Definitely more trouble than it's worth.' Naruto thought before releasing the scythe and wrapping the chain around his left arm. He then flipped to land feet-first and slid across the surface of the water, into the reservoir.

It was here that the hanyou saw Hidan standing about fifty yards in front of him. The maniacal grin plastered on the man's face was quite unsettling, even for Naruto.

And Hidan had every reason to grin. He had just proven Kakuzu wrong! As soon as Hidan saw Naruto catch his Compression Bullet, he immediately formed the seals for yet another technique he'd "convinced" his partner to teach him; the Mineral Coat. It was an Earth Release technique that made the user's skin literally rock hard, enabling them to block and/or deflect even the sharpest of blades with their bare hands(5).

It was Hidan's quick thinking that allowed him to come out unscathed after being hit with a crippling, if not outright lethal, attack.

'Hmph, Kakuzu says I can't think on my feet? Well, what now, motherfucker? What the fuck now?!' if Hidan's grin didn't make his opponent wary enough, his cackling was more than enough to make the masked boy nice and worried.

But, as with any good ninja, Naruto had a trump card; several, actually. And like any good ninja, Naruto would wait for his opponent to show his hand first, before drawing the hidden ace up his sleeve.

"Last chance, dickhead. Just give up, you can't beat me." Hidan taunted.

"How many 'last chances' are you going to give me?" Naruto scoffed. "Besides, you've only managed to scratch me twice so far. How many times has my blade tasted your blood?" he then chuckled. "Don't answer that. If you're stupid enough to still be this overconfident, then you probably can't count very high."

The barb got the desired effect, wiping the smile right off of Hidan's face and enraging him like shots at his intelligence, or lack thereof, often did. Afterall, subpar intellect was one of the few things one could legitimately insult the nukenin about; his skill, power, abilities, and even his looks spoke for themselves.

"Hell no! I get enough of that shit from Kakuzu, and I damn sure ain't gonna take it from you, ya' little fu-!" Hidan's words died in his throat as Naruto closed the distance between them in a flash and lopped the man's right arm off.

At least, Naruto _tried_ to lop the arm off, but a loud 'clang' greeted his ears as his blade was stopped dead by something under Hidan's sleeve.

'A vambrace?' Naruto thought, but it sounded kind of...off. It didn't sound like metal-on-metal contact; more like metal-on-stone. Naruto had cleaved through enough rocks in his Kenjutsu training to know exactly what that sounded like.

A piece of Hidan's sleeve fell away, revealing that Naruto's blade had made contact with bare skin, but somehow hadn't done through it.

"Oh, I wish I could see the look on your face right now." Hidan chuckled before striking out with his scythe, scoring a large gash right between the Jinchuuriki's ribs. 'Yes!' the nukenin thought as he saw blood spew from the wound.

Any hopes of torture and capture were dashed when the masked shinobi went "poof" and a cloud of white smoke obscured Hidan's vision.

"And I wish you could see this..."

Hidan turned in the direction of the voice, unwittingly falling right into Naruto's trap by leaving his back wide open.

'If a metal blade can't do him in, let's try a wind blade or two...or fifteen.' with a flick of his wrist, Naruto unleashed a wall of near-invisible blades on his target.

Hidan felt the chakra spike and looked over his shoulder just in time to catch a large distortion in the air moving towards him at frightening speeds. He knew the technique, and knew that he had no hope of avoiding it, especially with the extra weight the Mineral Coat added to his body. The attack scored a direct hit, plowing into Hidan's exposed back and throwing up a sizable geyser of water.

"YOU LITTLE SHIT!" Hidan burst out of the light mist, his rage giving him more power and speed.

Why was he so enraged? The attack had severed the cable on his scythe, but that was a relatively small matter. What really pissed him off was the fact that, while he had survived the attack with naught but a few rapidly-healing scratches, his clothes hadn't been so lucky. His Akatsuki robe had been cut to ribbons and blown off his body, and his pants were reduced to tattered rags that threatened to fall off if he moved the wrong way.

Unfortunately, for everyone, the "wrong way" included running.

'Oh, you've GOT to be shitting me!' Naruto thought as he frantically ducked and weaved through his opponent's strikes, blocking what he could.

Now, not only was he fighting a pissed off S-Class nukenin; he was fighting a _naked_, pissed off S-Class nukenin. Ninjas were supposed to expect the unexpected on a regular basis, but this was a bit much; even for someone like Naruto.

'Sometimes, I really hate my job.' even without the nudity, the difficulty level of the fight had gone up dramatically with the application of the nukenin's armor technique.

Not only did it turn the man into a living suit of armor, but it also apparently increased his physical strength to the point where he was able to match Naruto's own power. But the Jinchuuriki was confident that it wasn't anything he couldn't handle. He would do as he had always done: adapt and overcome. But first...

"Time out!" Naruto shouted, not actually expected anything to happen.

But Hidan stopped mid-swing, eyes wide and jaw dropped in surprise and disbelief.

"...Seriously?" was all the nukenin could manage.

"Yeah, seriously. Put some damn clothes on, then we can get back to trying to kill one another." Naruto knew he should've been watching his opponent's limbs for signs of an attack, but he didn't want to chance getting a peek at anything _else_, so he kept his eyes locked to his opponent's face.

A very large vein started throbbing on Hidan's forehead. "Hey, this is YOUR fault, numbnuts!" he took a swing at Naruto's head, which the boy simply ducked under before jumping backwards.

"Correction, it's YOUR fault for not avoiding the attack. Now, at least put some pants on. Otherwise, I'm going to castrate you eventually."

**"Not much to be castrated, honestly..." **Kyuubi said offhandedly.

'...I'll do whatever you want, just don't talk about..._that_ EVER again. Deal?'

**"Deal." **Kyuubi answered without even a moment of hesitation. **"I'm going to hold you to that when this is over." **now she was back up to two favors waiting in the wings.

Hidan now faced a conundrum. He couldn't disprove what the masked Jinchuuriki had said, but he also couldn't admit that he was wrong. That meant he would've had to admit that he was stupid to have let the attack hit him; or he'd have to admit that he was too slow to get out of the way. Hidan's pride wouldn't allow him to do either, nor would it allow him to lie, so he simply growled and walked over to the largest piece of his robe he could find floating on the water.

"Little bastard, thinks he's so fuckin' smart. Fuckin' Mini-Kakuzu, that's what he is." Hidan muttered under his breath as he rummaged around the inner pocket of the destroyed robe, all the while keeping one eye on his opponent.

Naruto had half a mind to point out that he wasn't the "little" one here, but kept his mouth shut. He wasn't about to mention _it_, especially just after he just asked Kyuubi not to.

"Quit your bitching and hurry up, I don't have all day." Naruto urged, tapping his foot on the water impatiently.

Another vein appeared on Hidan's forehead as he struggled not to crush the scroll in his hand. The storage scroll had several other scrolls sealed into it, most of which held backup outfits. Before joining Akatsuki, Hidan simply bought or stole clothes when his were destroyed, which happened a lot because of his combat style. But once he was recruited, and was given a uniform, random replacement clothing would no longer do the trick. So, the Jashinist had taken to bringing multiple backups with him.

"You know, I'm seriously starting to think that you're a lot more trouble than you're worth." Hidan growled before unsealing a backup uniform consisting only of a pair of dark gray pants and an Akatsuki robe.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm a pain in the ass. Blah, blah, blah; come on, I've got other things to do. Killing your partner, for example." Naruto resumed his Dragon Destroyer stance as he saw the so-called "immortal" pull up his pants.

Hidan shook his head as he put on his robe. "Now that is something I can't let you do. The pleasure of killing that infidel belongs to me, and me alone!" he hefted his scythe over his right shoulder after his declaration. "Now, where were we?"

With that, both shinobi vanished into thin air, only to appear a fraction of a second later as their weapons collided with an almost deafening "clang".

(With Yugito)

Kakuzu grunted as he was sent flying into a wall for the second time in as many minutes. Small bolts of electricity arced over his body as he tried to shake off the effects of his most recent electrocution. The nukenin hadn't expected the female Jinchuuriki to be as powerful and skilled as she was. Sure, he'd been warned about her strength by both his boss and his contacts in Kumogakure, and he'd certainly heard the rumors surrounding the girl, but he hadn't put any stock in them.

But Yugito Nii was proving to be the toughest opponent Kakuzu had faced in at least a decade. She had outright power in spades, and her skill was undeniable. She may have lacked true battle experience, she made up for that with adaptability. Kakuzu had really delved into his bag of tricks, but he found that, with each new move he brought to the table, he could only catch her off guard once. But his repertoire was vast, as was his patience. He would let her get complacent and overconfident in her reflexes, then he'd strike and put her down for good.

But, for now, it was Kakuzu who had to worry about being put down. He swiftly dove to his left just before a gigantic cat, made entirely out of electricity, plowed into the wall where he'd just vacated. As he hit the water, he instantly leapt up and stuck to the ceiling, allowing another electric feline to sail right under him.

"How do you like my pets?" Yugito suddenly appeared behind Kakuzu on the ceiling, tantō already on a collision course with the man's head.

The blade struck home, but the target turned out to be nothing but a Water Clone.

"I hate cats." Kakuzu said as he appeared behind Yugito and took a swing at her with one of his tendril blades.

But, once again, Yugito's reflexes saved her by allowing her to lean away just out of the weapon's range, then jump away. Her opponent did the same when both of her Storm Lions tried to turn him into confetti, but he wasn't fast enough to completely avoid them. One of the lions managed to just barely scratch the nukenin's leg, but even that brief contact was enough to give the man one hell of a jolt.

Fortunately for Kakuzu, he had his Lightning heart in place, giving him the ability to withstand the Jinchuuriki's attacks. But the person he took the heart from didn't exactly have the greatest Lightning affinity, and the nukenin knew that it wouldn't save him from a direct hit. And even with his the Lightning heart, being electrocuted still hurt like hell.

'I _really_ hate cats.' Kakuzu mentally snarled, then flipped to land on his feet on the water's surface. As his feet made contact with the water, he felt an uncomfortable tingling sensation, no doubt caused by the water being electrified by the Jinchuuriki's "pets". He had to get rid of those things.

Yugito immediately set upon the nukenin with a flurry of Taijutsu, using her superior quickness for offense instead of evasion. She struck multiple blows, but few managed to make the man even flinch. Yugito was even forced to back off when a deep cut on the man's shoulder, courtesy of her tantō, released more tendrils that quickly tried to impale her.

But the tendrils did nothing to her Storm Lions, as the intense heat given off by their bodies burned the tendrils away as soon as they made contact. That heat had another effect that Yugito hadn't thought about when she'd unleashed her "pets"; everytime the lions touched the water, a cloud of steam would shoot up around them, and it was becoming difficult to see.

Unfortunately for Yugito, the steam was only a hindrance to her. Kakuzu was used to fighting in these conditions, as hiding in steam clouds and/or fog/mist was one of his most oft-used battle tactics. It looked as though Kakuzu's patience had finally paid off, and it was time to bag himself his first Jinchuuriki!

"It's been fun..." Kakuzu's voice rang from out of the steam, the echo from the tunnel and a voice projection technique making it seem like the sound was coming from all directions. "But I'm afraid our little 'date' will have to be cut short. I've got a deadline to meet, afterall." it was true, the Leader had given each team a time limit for their missions.

Akatsuki was more than just a glorified group of demon-hunting criminals. Much more. The Bijū may have been their primary targets, but they had an extensive list of other operations, most of which were means of gathering funds. Kakuzu enjoyed those particular missions, as he received a decent cut of the money acquired. He also enjoyed them because he was allowed to fly solo, meaning there was no irritating "partner" to drag him down.

Yugito didn't verbally reply, instead opting to send out a continuous series of small chakra pulses to locate her hidden enemy. She also had her pets take up positions on the tunnel ceiling to cut down on the steam production.

'Oh, no you don't.' Kakuzu thought as he performed the Hiding Mist Technique. This allowed him to not only keep the steam around to hide his movements, but also let him saturate the cloud with his chakra, rendering Yugito's "radar" useless.

"Shit!" Yugito hissed, cursing whomever had given Akatsuki so much information on her and her abilities.

Her "radar technique" was one of her more secret tactics, too. So, if this Kakuzu fellow had been told about that, then there was no reason to believe that he didn't know about most of her other tricks. Then again, her Storm Lions had taken him by surprise, so there was still hope.

"What will you do now? How can you fight what you can't find? Your little 'radar' trick is useless, as are your enhanced senses." Kakuzu taunted as he contemplated just what to finish her off with. It had to be something very powerful, yet non-lethal. 'Blunt-force trauma to the head sounds good.'

Yugito paid no mind to the words, as inspiration had suddenly hit her. She was drawn back to her conversation with Naruto, specifically when she talked about throwing things over the edge of the cliff. 'If I keep throwing things, I'm bound to hit something.' with a smirk, Yugito gathered both her human and demonic chakra, and formed the handseals for a technique that she knew was truly secret.

How did she know? Because she'd never used it before, aside from her first C-Class mission outside of Kumo's walls. And it was still in the "prototype" phase back then, and had a different set of seals. Back then, it had been little more than an electromagnetic dome that repelled any kind of metallic object. But Yugito had since turned it into a devastating area-of-effect attack that was guaranteed to hit her opponent in such an enclosed environment.

"Genocide Surge!" dozens of purple bolts of electricity shot out of Yugito's body in a blinding flash of light.

The bolts carved up the tunnels walls, boiled and evaporated the water beneath the girl, and caused her Storm Lions to grow in size as they absorbed the energy from the bolts that hit them.

Just like Yugito had planned, the attack took Kakuzu completely by surprise. But, even if it hadn't, he didn't have the speed to avoid the lightning. And even if he did have the speed, where was he going to go? As they fought, the combatants had pushed each other further and further into the tunnel system, and they were now in an extremely long tunnel with no others feeding into it. This meant that Kakuzu had nowhere to run and nowhere to hide.

So, the ragdoll did the only thing he could; he braced himself for impact. And what an impact is was! Kakuzu ended up taking well over a dozen direct hits, each one packing voltage and amperage far greater than what Kakuzu's Lightning heart could handle. This resulted in an overload and complete failure of the heart, which shriveled and burned to a crisp inside of his chest.

Just like every other time one of his hearts was destroyed, Kakuzu died. His corpse was thrown back hundreds of feet from the sheer force of the blows he'd suffered, and his body skipped across the water five times before finally coming to rest and sinking like a stone.

But Yugito hadn't gotten out unscathed. She had no real physical practice with the technique, and only knew the concept and theory behind it. As they say, theory and practice are two very different things. In theory, the "Genocide Surge" was supposed to take chakra and youki gathered for the technique and release it all at once to create a sphere of utter devastation for a single second, or less.

In reality, the technique used the gathered chakra and youki, but it didn't stop there. Once it used up the allotted energy, it proceeded to use the energy stored in Yugito's chakra coils. In just over three seconds, the attack had nearly drained the girl dry, leaving her unable to control her Storm Lions, and barely able to stay afloat on the water.

"Note to self..." Yugito panted as she leaned against the wall for support, wincing a bit as she felt the hot stone through her clothes, "Practice technique...before using again." she counted herself extremely lucky that the attack had still done what it was designed to do on at least one front, and had hit her enemy, multiple times.

There was no way the nukenin could've survived. Even one of those bolts packed enough power to fry pretty much anything. Nothing but beings with the strongest of Lightning affinities could even hope to survive.

Unless, of course, that being happened to have multiple lives to spare.

While Yugito took the time to rest, Kakuzu laid at the bottom of the tunnel, under seven feet of water, dead. At least, for the moment. But soon, a single, tiny air bubble came through his mask and floated up to the surface. Kakuzu's eyes snapped open soon after, burning with an indescribable rage.

Two hearts. That was two hearts that the Jinchuuriki had destroyed. That was beyond unacceptable, by any standard; and FAR beyond unacceptable by Kakuzu's standards. Under normal circumstances, he wouldn't have been so incensed over it, since his Lightning heart wasn't a very strong one to begin with. And even now, it wasn't the loss of the heart that pissed Kakuzu off so much; it was the fact that one person, a teenage girl no less, had managed to "kill" him twice in under ten minutes.

And the worst part about it was that Kakuzu had no one to blame but himself. He could be as mad as he wanted, but he knew any anger directed at the girl was misplaced. She was literally fighting for her life; he was the one who had underestimated her, and had given her every opening she'd needed.

Kakuzu had been too confident in his plans, too lax in his defense, and too lenient in his offense. But no more. As always, Kakuzu would harness his rage, turning it into raw power. Yugito Nii had proven to be a worthy opponent, and she would now see just why Kakuzu of the Black Threads was one of the most feared shinobi in the world(6).

Kakuzu clenched his fists, testing his body to make sure it was completely "online", as it always took a minute or two for him to be back in top form after "dying". He couldn't afford to be sluggish and uncoordinated now. But, before he could do anything, he needed to switch hearts and expel the now-useless Lightning heart.

The black tendrils that earned Kakuzu his nickname sprang forth from his chest, then plunged back in to tear out the shriveled lump of burnt meat that used to be a heart. Though it had been his weakest heart, it had done a fine job of absorbing the brunt of the attack, ensuring that his three remaining hearts took minimal damage from electrocution. However, without a Lightning affinity, he'd have to be especially wary of Lightning-based attacks. This meant that fighting on the water wasn't an option.

'There's a simple solution to that problem.' Kakuzu thought with a smirk. With his Earth heart in place, the Akatsuki member pushed himself off of the tunnel floor and flashed through a set of handseals. 'Earth Release: Earth Flow Bridge.' he slammed his hands into the tunnel floor, taking control of the settled mud and using his chakra to pulverize the stone in order to make more.

The mud quickly rose to the surface of the water, where it spread out and hardened to create a long platform of solid earth running hundreds of feet down the tunnel. He also used the mud to create a clone that would remain hidden, sticking to the underside of the bridge to keep it stable in the event that Kakuzu had to break contact with the new landmass.

Of course, this caught Yugito completely off guard, seeing as how she thought her opponent was finally dead. She still hadn't completely recovered from the sudden drain, but if she had to fight, she had to fight.

'Kami, I'm too young for this shit.' really, she hadn't even done anything worth recognition, yet she still had people out for her head! That usually only happened if you, say, single-handedly decimated an entire army during a war; or tried to assassinate a Kage; or...'Have a demon inside of you.' yet another thing she could blame the Nibi for.

Afterall, according to the pseudo-demon herself, the Bakeneko had sealed herself inside of Yugito. She wasn't some "chosen sacrifice", or an attempt at making a "Supersoldier". According to the Nibi's story, something terrible had happened, causing her to lose her body. In her panicked attempt to save her soul, she'd sealed herself into the closest human infant should could find; which was Yugito. She was nothing more than a victim of circumstance; born in the wrong place, at the wrong time, on the wrong night.

Thoughts of her undeserved fate caused a familiar anger to blossom inside of her. This was the anger that caused her to destroy everything around her on a whim. This was the anger that made ninjas far above her rank fear her. This was the anger that made even the former Raikage hesitant to interact with her directly. This was the _fury_ that was going to make Akatsuki regret coming for Yugito Nii!

Kakuzu slowly rose from the water, locking eyes with his target the moment he broke the surface. He could see the fires of rage dancing behind those glowing, cat-like orbs. He was sure that she could see the same in his own eyes. It seemed that "playtime" really was over; the real fight was about to begin.

"...I've got to hand it to you," Kakuzu suddenly spoke as he stepped onto the earthen platform he'd created, "you're amazing; an absolutely incredible kunoichi. The strongest, and most frustrating, opponent I've faced in decades." while he was never one for praise, the nukenin couldn't help but respect the Jinchuuriki for not only her combat prowess, but for the sheer guts she'd shown against him. Not once had she tried to run away from him, something that he could say about only one other opponent.

Yugito contemplated a witty and biting retort, but decided against it. The man was giving her genuine praise, as far as she could tell, and that wasn't something she got very often.

"...Is it sad that one of the best compliments I've ever received comes from an enemy?" Yugito chuckled mirthlessly. "But I have to commend you, as well. This is, without a doubt, the toughest battle I've ever fought." that wasn't saying much, as the toughest opponent she'd fought up until now was Naruto, followed closely by Orochimaru.

For a full ten seconds, neither combatant moved even a single millimeter. If not for the sound of water flowing into the tunnel, one would think that time had actually stopped. But as soon as those ten seconds were up, the world, or at least the fighters, seemed to go from "pause" to "fast-forward".

Yugito surged forward like a lightning bolt, using her superior speed and quickness to their fullest. Though she was skilled in virtually all forms of combat, thanks to the Sandaime Raikage, Yugito was a Taijutsu specialist at heart. Given, CQC hadn't yielded much success against the Akatsuki member, but perhaps she could wear him down to the point where she could get another kill-shot in.

But Kakuzu himself was also quite the Taijutsu expert. During his younger years in Takigakure, he was even praised as a prodigy. And after he defected and took Taki's most feared and unique Kinjutsu with him, Kakuzu became even more formidable. The threads within him replaced his muscles, tendons and ligaments, gifting the man with inhuman physical strength and flexibility. Add that to his ability to make weapons out of his threads, and his tendency to use the Mineral Coat to increase his defensive and offensive capabilities, and you've got a man that hadn't lost a fight in well over fifty years(7).

Then again, Kakuzu hadn't ever faced an opponent with the speed of Yugito. Even the Shodai Hokage didn't compare, as Kakuzu had actually had that man beaten in the speed department. Itachi Uchiha was close, but it wasn't his outright speed that was the key. With the Sharingan, and the Uchiha's specific methods of training, Itachi was able to read an opponent's movements and anticipate attacks. This allowed him to dodge or counter well before an attack landed.

But, even without a built-in early warning system, Yugito was able to duck and weave through Kakuzu's attacks, landing quite a few significant blows. Her style made full use of her heightened reflexes, and resulted in something truly unique. Whereas most Taijutsu styles focused on smooth transitions from one move to the next, the Jinchuuriki's was extremely jerky and erratic. Instead of moving gracefully around her opponent's strikes in a constant flow of movement, Yugito seemed to actually stand still between her evasive maneuvers.

She'd keep her body in the same basic place and wait until the last possible moment to dodge with a burst of blinding speed. This often caused her opponent to overshoot attacks and leave himself open for her own. Given, Kakuzu could keep up with her better than anyone she'd ever fought before, but it was only just barely, so he had no hope of outpacing her.

That being the case, Kakuzu was currently taking a continuous barrage of strikes and had been forced into the defensive role. His guard was strong; impregnable under "normal" circumstances, against "normal" opponents. But that guard was little deterrence to the female Jinchuuriki, who had already breached it dozens of times over. However, few of her strikes were really even felt by the nukenin, and even fewer were significant enough to even make him grimace.

This was yet another benefit drawn from "The Grudge", as Kakuzu had taken to calling it since he'd joined Akatsuki. The threads' superior composition and properties compared to real muscles not only made for impressive strength, but made excellent literal body armor. The threads absorbed impact and dispersed kinetic energy to a far greater degree than muscle. As it was, hitting Kakuzu was more like striking a thick rubber tube than hitting anything organic.

The threads also rendered Yugito's strategy for tougher opponents useless, as there was no way she was going to wear Kakuzu down and tire him out. The word "fatigue", and any of its synonyms, lost all meaning to Kakuzu a long time ago. At least, in the physical sense. He was still subject to mental exhaustion, and right now he was getting tired of being used as a training dummy for his opponent.

A burst of rage, born of frustration, granted a burst of speed that temporarily allowed Kakuzu to match Yugito blow-for-blow. But that didn't last long.

Kakuzu managed to block a punch aimed at his liver with his left forearm. While he didn't _need_ a liver to survive, he liked having one. Before Yugito could bring her arm back, Kakuzu managed to grab it with his left hand and jerk it to the side violently. While he wasn't able to dislocate her shoulder, as he'd intended, Kakuzu was able to force an opening to exploit.

Yugito bit back a pained hiss as her right arm was nearly torn from its socket. She was surprised that the nukenin had managed to catch her, but it passed quickly when she saw his large fist flying towards her face. As always, it was moving in slow motion to her eyes, and, as usual, she waited until the last millisecond to move.

The Jinchuuriki's body was but a multicolored blur as she made her move. Yugito grabbed Kakuzu's arm before moving behind him, wrenching his arm around and causing him to break his own grip on her. As soon as he let go, Yugito used the freed limb to strike his trapped one with enough force to break the bones within it. Using the same elbow, she then smashed Kakuzu in his left temple and used the momentary disorientation to drive her left knee into his sternum. As the nukenin heaved forward, Yugito delivered another crippling elbow to right to the base of his skull, smiling wickedly as she heard a satisfying "crack".

But she wasn't done just yet. Grabbing the black sleeveless shirt Kakuzu wore under his Akatsuki robe, Yugito lifted the man with ease and smashed him into a wall hard enough to leave his body stuck within the imprint it made in the stone. But even after that, she wasn't done. She had him trapped and effectively defenseless at the moment, and she wasn't going to waste the opportunity.

Though he was barely conscious, Kakuzu would remember this beating for the rest of his days.

Yugito used virtually everything in her Taijutsu arsenal to break the nukenin's body. She even made up a few new moves on the spot! One of these moves consisted of her springboarding off of the opposite wall and crashing into Kakuzu, using her knees to crush both his ribcage and skull. Unfortunately, his body proved to be more durable than the wall, as Yugito's final attack sent the man through it and into the dry chamber on the other side.

Kakuzu rolled for a few yards, then came to a sudden halt as he used his limbs to stop himself before standing up, albeit slowly and shakily.

"Oh, come on!" Yugito groaned as she stepped through the hole, which was little more than a foot above the tunnel's waterline. "All of that should've done _something_ to you!" maybe the guy really was immortal, afterall?

Kakuzu didn't answer; he couldn't, as he'd lost the ability to speak. One of Yugito's knee attacks had caught him in the throat, completely crushing his larynx and trachea. The attacks had also managed to break most of his ribs, sending sharp fragments into his lungs, making them useless. It was panic time. His brain could only function at optimal capacity for about ninety minutes before it started to slow down, and two hours before it finally shut down. But the types of injuries that resulted in him losing the ability to breath were usually caused by his opponent's last-ditch effort, often involving an explosion or two.

This time he'd taken the crippling blow(s) right in the midst of a battle, where his opponent was still up and ready to rumble. He had no idea how long he could last if he kept fighting, and that didn't sit well with him at all. That meant it was time to bow out and retreat. He needed to have several organs replaced, including two hearts, and his demolished ribcage would make further close quarters combat virtually impossible. He also had a concussion, which would make any kind of complex battle strategy very difficult to think up, let alone execute.

And yet, even though he was more pissed off than he'd been in decades, Kakuzu still couldn't direct his rage at his opponent. He'd made a rookie mistake and had underestimated the girl, and he paid for it. He had been bested in combat for only the second time since his epic confrontation with Konoha's very first Hokage, and it had been his own fault back then as well. He'd had Hashirama on the ropes, but he'd gotten cocky and it cost him the fight, and very nearly his life.

Kakuzu had no one to blame for his loss but himself, and he accepted that. As he stood, he locked eyes with Yugito and sent her a single silent message: "We will meet again."

Yugito caught on and knew that her opponent was conceding defeat. While a part of her was overjoyed for several reasons, the "Ruthless Ninja" part of her wouldn't accept the victory as it was. The Akatsuki member had accepted defeat, but didn't look like he accepted death, and was no doubt thinking of an escape plan. Yugito couldn't allow him to escape. If he got away, he'd be back at some point, likely stronger and with a better trap. Letting Kakuzu live would come back to bite the Jinchuuriki in the ass, and she knew it.

Looking around, Yugito saw that the chamber they were in had no way out other than the way they'd come in. It appeared to be the start of a separate tunnel that had been scrapped from the final design of the sewers and sealed off from the rest of the system. Placing herself between the nukenin and the hole in the wall, Yugito ensured that the weakened man would have to go through her to get out.

This wasn't lost on Kakuzu, and the seeds of panic and doubt began to grow. Even if he did somehow manage to get by the Jinchuuriki and escape from the chamber, he still had to make it out of the sewer. Not only was Yugito much faster than him; she knew the sewers far better and could cut him off just as easily as she could run him down. And then there was the raging thunderstorm on the surface to deal with if he managed to evade capture/death.

'Why did I let him talk me into this?!' Kakuzu mentally raged against his partner, who he saw as the real cause of this whole fiasco.

Yugito flew through a set of seals at fantastic speeds, preparing to use another technique derived from the "prototype" that had spawned the "Genocide Surge". Upon finishing the sequence, Yugito held the final Tiger seal and stomped on the floor. A wave of electricity danced across the ground, reaching Kakuzu in the blink of an eye and forming a circle around him. As soon as the circle was complete, a dome of blue energy rose up and trapped him.

The dome itself crackled with electricity, letting the nukenin know that touching it was a bad idea. But staying inside was even worse, as he was about to find out.

The crackling from the dome grew louder and the bolts dancing across its surface grew larger and moved with more vigor. An absolutely massive charge started to build up on and around the dome, causing lightning bolts to shoot off and score the walls every few seconds.

Yugito felt the need to say something, maybe to acknowledge her foe as a worthy opponent. However, she couldn't think of anything. The man was a nukenin, pure and simple. A violent and deadly criminal that had been sent to fight, defeat and kidnap her. He was supposed to beat her down and take her demon, killing her in the process. Despite the respect she felt for his power and skill, the man had no redeeming qualities that Yugito could see, and there was nothing she could say that hadn't already been said.

"...Goodbye." well, it was _something_. "Lightning Release: Hora no Burato!"(8) once the charge had built to sufficient levels, Yugito switched from the Tiger seal, to a Bird seal, initiating phase two of the technique.

The electric phenomenon that had been going on outside of the dome was suddenly directed inward, utterly obliterating the man trapped within.

But all was as it seemed. Due to the last mishap with an untested technique, Yugito devoted all of her focus to the task at hand, basically shutting out the world around her. This caused her to miss Kakuzu performing a Kawarimi with the Mud Clone he'd created earlier.

As soon as he escaped the dome, Kakuzu's first order of business was to slow the Jinchuuriki down so he would have time to escape. Seeing as how the girl still hadn't noticed him, he proceeded to perform two sets of half seals for two of his trademark techniques. When completed and combined, these two techniques made up Kakuzu's most destructive attack, which he called "The Backdraft".

In his weakened state, Kakuzu highly doubted that the attack would kill the Jinchuuriki; but if he managed to catch her off guard, there was a chance that it would do enough damage to at least keep her off his tail for a while. He wouldn't have much time, though. Once the seals were finished, the techniques would be initiated and the chakra spikes would be easily detected.

Kakuzu had even less time than he thought, as Yugito's keen nose told her that something was amiss. She should've been smelling burning flesh and clothing, but instead she smelled nothing. But she did feel something; twin chakra spikes directly behind her.

The nukenin saw the Jinchuuriki's body tense as he finished the seals and held his hands out, conjuring a deceptively small fireball in his right hand, and a ball of condensed Wind-based energy. Normally, both the Wind Release: Pressure Damage and Fire Release: Zekokku required lungs, but he'd honed his skills in elemental manipulation to the point that he could both create and launch both techniques externally. Though, he was limited to throwing them like grenades as opposed to actually launching them.

But they still did the trick. Kakuzu lobbed both orbs just as Yugito looked over her shoulder to see him. As soon as his hands were free, the nukenin hightailed it down the tunnel, using his memory of the sewer blueprints to guide him to a way out.

The two techniques collided with each other, resulting in a massive eruption of flames that engulfed the entire chamber, and spread through a good deal of the tunnel outside. But before the blaze could incinerate Yugito, it was snuffed out by an oppressive unseen force. Two eyes pierced the black smoke with an unearthly golden light, accompanied by an inhuman growl.

The temperature in the chamber dropped suddenly and dramatically, going from sweltering, to freezing in a matter of seconds. A strong pulse of chakra blew the smoke away, revealing Yugito still standing, completely unharmed, and literally glowing with power. The chakra shield around her slowly shifted colors, going from light blue to deep indigo as she drew on the power of her demon. The Jinchuuriki then seemed to spontaneously combust, with purple-ish blue flames consuming the girl and hiding her from view.

But soon after, the flames began to form a shape around the girl at their center, and the glowing eyes reappeared. However, they had increased in size to over nine times that of a normal human. Below the eyes, a feline muzzle formed, already snarling and displaying a terrifying array of teeth, including canines nearly two feet long.

Though her rage and frustration had boiled over at this point, Yugito was still fully aware of her surroundings, and completely in control of herself. She knew that, at over fifteen feet tall at the shoulders, her two-tailed form's maneuverability would suffer in the confines of the tunnels. Exercising her phenomenal control over the Nibi's youki, Yugito downsized her form until it was just a bit larger than a draft horse. The massive size was just for intimidation, anyway, and provided few benefits even in open areas.

The fiery feline stepped out of the chamber onto the water, which froze instantly upon contact. Looking around, she couldn't find any trace of her would-be captor. She couldn't even sense his chakra. She could, however, catch his scent.

'I've got you now.' Yugito thought as she released a monstrous roar and thundered down the tunnel, leaving a layer of frost in her wake.

Though Kakuzu had put quite a bit of distance between them, he didn't think for a second that he was out of the woods. He had picked up his pace when he felt the pulse of youki, and was navigating through the sewers like a pro. Then he heard the roar, and shifted into an even higher gear.

'I haven't run this fast since the day I left Taki!' Kakuzu thought as he made a small army of Mud Clones and sent them scattering through every tunnel, hoping to throw the Jinchuuriki off his trail for a while longer.

Though his body was hardly in top condition, his chakra reserves were just fine. Besides multiple lives, Kakuzu's hearts gave him another huge advantage; five different chakra reserves. When his threads tore out a heart, they siphoned all of the chakra out of the victim's body along the way. Because of that, Kakuzu's chakra reserves were second only to Kisame in the ranks of Akatsuki, though the Leader likely had even more. At this point, Kakuzu still had access to three Jōnin-level pools of chakra.

Though that didn't amount to much now, besides allowing him to run faster, for longer. Unfortunately, the hearts' reserves were limited to the amount drawn from the original owner of each heart, and they didn't replenish themselves. Once a heart ran out of chakra, it was gone for good, and the heart was useless.

'WHY DID I LET HIM TALK ME INTO THIS?!'

(Naruto vs. Hidan)

Hidan sneezed mid-jump and narrowed his eyes as he landed.

"Fuckin' Kakuzu..." the immortal muttered before jumping again, avoiding a roundhouse kick from his enemy.

Hidan was trying to put some distance between himself and the masked Jinchuuriki so he could properly utilize his scythe, but the boy was immediately picked up on it and refused to let up.

Seeing that his sword was virtually useless, Naruto had wrapped it up in his cloak/jacket and sat it inside of a small hole in the wall next to the entrance of the chamber. He'd discarded the cloak because it was nothing but a hindrance. With Shizaru around, the cloak was dormant, and the long tails of its current form were doing nothing but getting in Naruto's way, almost causing him to trip at least twice. Plus, Naruto remember that the elder Namikaze could somehow control the cloak himself, and didn't want to chance wearing it any longer. He'd also discarded his battle chain as well, since he wasn't confident enough to use it in such close quarters.

Naruto had also relieved himself of any extra weight for an even greater speed advantage. But, of course, the S-Class nukenin had something up his sleeve to at least even the playing field. This time, it was a set of gravity seals placed on his scythe and his boots. Once those were off, the combatants were back at square one, with Naruto being just marginally faster than Hidan, and the man's all-around combat skill compensating for it to great effect. Neither shinobi had yet to score a significant hit, and it didn't look like the battle would be over anytime soon.

Rushing after the gray-haired nukenin, Naruto went low, attacking the man's legs. After separating the man's left shoulder with a lucky, misplaced kick, Naruto discovered that, while his skin was hard as stone, his internals were still soft and squishy. And while bluntforce impact seemed to work quite well, Naruto had broken his left hand in an attempt at an uppercut. That meant Naruto couldn't just attack anywhere, he needed to pick his spots, and he now knew that the joints were vulnerable.

However, Hidan caught onto Naruto's game plan, and put far more effort into his defensive and evasive maneuvers. But now that the boy had switched to pure Taijutsu, Hidan had to change his own battle style to keep from loosing ground in the fight. Normally, Hidan would make only the slightest movements to block attacks, such as moving his arm just enough for an attack to miss his elbow and hit his forearm, minimizing the damage. But with Naruto's style, Hidan couldn't rely on countering attacks, as the blonde would transition from one move to the next with such quickness that Hidan struggled just to keep his guard up.

And then there was the sheer power that was behind several of Naruto's attacks, usually those delivered at the end of a lightning-fast combo. While Hidan was certain that the boy had broken his own hand trying to punch him, the impact was enough to rock his skull and leave him seeing double for a second or two. Even with the Mineral Coat active, Naruto had proven that he could still hurt the Jashinist. And if he could to that with his fists, Hidan wanted nothing to do with his feet.

Naruto's more than impressive offensive capabilities hardly overshadowed his defensive ones; hence Hidan had yet to hit him. The rapid-fire flurries and crushing blows gave way to almost inhuman displays of grace and flexibility, as Naruto seemed to _glide_ around and through Hidan's attacks. And his counters were as quick as they were punishing, with even simple jabs packing incredible force.

'FUCKER!' Hidan mentally roared as he swung his scythe in a horizontal arc towards Naruto's midsection, only to have him casually duck under the blades.

Hidan's style had changed slightly, but the one major weakness was still there, and it was still exploitable. As soon as the weapon passed over, Naruto sprang forward and planted his fist into Hidan's face, breaking his nose. The shock from the impact, plus the suddenness of the attack, caused the nukenin's body to go completely limp for less than a second, but that was all the time Naruto needed to wrench the scythe from his hands and send it flying off to the side.

With the cable having been severed, Hidan had no way of getting his scythe back and lacked experience in unarmed combat. Sure, he was trained in unarmed combat, but in the six years since he'd attached the cable, he'd never lost his weapon. And even before that, only one opponent had ever managed to separate him from his scythe.

Hidan was suddenly reminded of a "conversation" he'd had with Kakuzu a month ago. His partner had suggested that he put other seals on the scythe beyond the Gravity Seal. Two of these suggestions were a Recall Seal and a Floatation Seal. But, in his arrogance, Hidan scoffed at the ideas, saying that there was no point in further "defacing" his beloved scythe. As per his faith, Hidan believed that his chosen weapon was a sacred object that should never be "dirtied" by anything other than the blood of enemies and sacrifices.

He had prayed for five hours straight after the ink for the Gravity Seal was applied, asking his God to forgive him for "defiling" the scythe, even though it was done with the intent of gaining more power in order to be a better servant.

Oh, how Hidan wished he'd listened to Kakuzu now.

Seizing the opportunity, Naruto let loose with his most destructive combo yet; a total of eighty-five attacks, culminating in a brutal right rising knee strike to Hidan's solar plexus. Knowing that the nukenin wasn't down for the count, Naruto bounced back a couple feet, then sprang into the air with a front flip. As he came out of the flip, he extended his right leg and brought it down on the back of Hidan's head with enough force to ensure a crushed skull.

That is, if Hidan hadn't, literally, rolled out of the way at the last moment. Coming out of the roll, Hidan charged towards his scythe, which had managed to get stuck in a wall after Naruto had thrown it away.

Having not expected his opponent to be up and moving immediately after taking so much abuse, Naruto was unable to react fast enough to keep Hidan from retrieving his weapon. But he saw another opportunity open up if he could get to the man before he could bring the weapon to bear. With thoughts of a dead "immortal" dancing through his head, Naruto was off like a missile.

Hidan resisted the urge to cackle as he pried his scythe from the wall, having felt so vulnerable without it. But there was no time to celebrate the reunion of weapon and wielder; not when the enemy was closing in. Hidan whirled around, scythe at the ready, but was surprised at just how close the Jinchuuriki had gotten in such a short time. But that didn't keep him from lashing out with a horizontal strike aimed at the boy's neck.

Naruto ducked and slid across the water's surface, then went for a low reverse roundhouse kick, intent on breaking at least one of Hidan's knees. But the attack was evaded with a simple jump; just as Naruto predicted. Before Hidan could retaliate, Naruto used his left leg to spring towards the man, and the momentum of the failed reverse roundhouse to drive his right foot into Hidan's exposed chest with a flying back kick.

Hidan was sent flying dozens of yards before touching back down on the water and stopping himself. He growled and lurched forward, preparing to charge. Then he saw something that made him stop dead and adopt a grin that, due to the limitations of human facial musculature, shouldn't have been possible.

Naruto, with his enhanced vision, saw the grin and didn't like it one bit. Preparing for the worse as Hidan raised his left arm, Naruto cocked his head to the side in confusion when the man simply tapped his own right arm, then pointed at him. It was then that Naruto became acutely aware of something warm and wet running down his right arm. Looking over at it, Naruto's fears were confirmed; there, on his upper arm, laid a thin, fairly shallow, four-inch-long cut.

'Fuck!' Naruto mentally cursed. 'One of those blades must've caught me when I kicked him.' he then noticed Hidan lifting the scythe blades up to his face. 'Oh, hell no!' Naruto took a deep breath, then exhaled violently, production a large ball of compressed air hurtling towards his target.

**'Too late.' **Kyuubi shook her head as she watched through Naruto's eyes.

She had chosen to stay silent so as not to distract her mate, but she was taking notes on the battle. Naruto had made several mistakes that, while not fatal, cost him a quick victory. He would most definitely be hearing about them when all was said and done.

**'Perhaps I should set up some "refresher courses" in his training...' **sighing in minor irritation, Kyuubi finally decided to speak up. **"And now you will fight a true immortal." **

'What do you mean?' Naruto asked as he watched his Great Breakthrough attack collide with Hidan, throwing up a massive geyser of water.

**"Under normal circumstances, these cultists' so-called 'immortality' has its limits. But they do have one technique, passed down by Jashin himself, that grants them true immortality. All they need to do is ingest their enemy's blood."**

'Great.'

Fortunately for Naruto, there was someone that had more extensive knowledge of Jashinist abilities.

_"You're fighting one of these freaks?"_ Nightmare asked with a slight yawn.

'You've heard these "Jashinists" before?'

_"Heard of them? Please, I've killed at least a dozen of them!"_

'...Well?'

_"Well, what?"_

'Information, please?' Naruto all but snarled.

_"Well, since you asked so _nicely_, I'll tell you all I know. What Kyuubi said is true, but it's a bit more complicated than that. There's a time limit that's directly related to how much blood they consume. Within that time limit, they are true immortals; incapable of dying in any way. But beyond that, this 'Curse Technique', as they call it, also gives them unlimited stamina. Their body won't tire, and their energy reserves won't deplete at all. So really, you're only option is to wait them out. Believe me, I once fought one of these goons for nearly twenty hours before I was able to kill him._ Nightmare muttered something under his breath.

'Yay.' Naruto mentally sneered. 'Anything else?'

_"Yeah, actually. Now comes the good news! While this 'Curse' does give them unlimited stamina for a time, it doesn't do anything else. That means no enhanced strength or speed. So, if you were doing well before this point, you should be able to hold him off until the Curse runs its course. But make sure you keep him away from the walls and ceiling, or any solid surface for that matter. If he manages to activate the second part of the Curse, you're pretty much done for."_

'...Sometimes, I really hate my job.' the path of the ninja is never an easy one, as the saying goes. Then, for the second time since their battle had begun, Naruto felt like smacking himself. 'I could've been using the Soul Edge this entire time!' surely his demonic form would give him more than enough power to fend the Akatsuki member off until he could kill him.

_"Sorry, but that's a no-go there. You're not far enough into your training to access the form more than once per day.(9)"_

'...Yep, hate my job.'

**"I know you wanted to conserve energy to take on the other demon hunter, but it looks like the 'dumb one' is a lot stronger than you expected." **

Naruto merely nodded, watching intently as water thrown up by his attack finally came to rest, revealing his unharmed opponent.

Hidan chuckled maliciously as he looked at his jet-black skin and the skeletal markings that adorned it. He then locked eyes with his masked enemy and charged, cackling like a lunatic.

Naruto barely had time to think, let alone move, before the nukenin was upon him. He did manage to lean back enough to avoid injury, but the top blade of the scythe still raked across his mask, going through it and missing the skin under Naruto's right eye by little more than a millimeter. But the surprise quickly wore off and Naruto was once again avoiding everything Hidan threw at him.

While the nukenin's speed hadn't increased, the sheer ferocity of his attacks did. With complete immortality guaranteed for at least a few more minutes, Hidan had no worries about defense and evasion. He could focus purely on attack, and put full force behind every single strike. At this point, Hidan didn't care about orders or objectives; he was here to kill, plain and simple. Consequences be damned, the Kyuubi Jinchuuriki would fall to his blades!

After nearly two minutes of continuous dodging, Naruto finally formulated a plan, but it required him to put some distance between himself and the cultist. Smirking slightly, Naruto created a small army of a hundred Shadow Clones and had them dogpile the nukenin while he jumped back to the other end of the reservoir.

**"I don't think this is wise." **Kyuubi chimed, knowing exactly what Naruto was planning.

'If I don't kill this guy quickly, I might not be able to get to Yugito in time if she needs my help. Without the Soul Edge, this is the best option I could think of. If you've got a better idea, I'm all ears.' without waiting for a response, Naruto began to draw on the pure youki stored within him.

**"...Fine, but don't go beyond three tails. You're only trained in handling two tails, so even three is pushing it."**

Since he'd acquired it, most of Naruto's training revolved around the Soul Edge. And when he wasn't doing that, he was creating new techniques. And when he wasn't doing that, he was refining his chakra control and getting used to a perfect balance of human and demonic energy. There hadn't been much time in Naruto's training schedule for pure youki manipulation, and, until now, there'd been no reason make a big deal out of it.

'I'll try to keep it at two tails, but no promises.' when Naruto drew on the demonic energy, he always had a habit of drawing too much at one time, especially after gaining a new tail.

And that was in the controlled setting of training, where he had all the time in the world and could afford to take it slow. This was live combat, and Naruto was running out of time. Hidan was destroying his clones at a fantastic rate, leaving Naruto with less than a minute to gather the youki and release it at a manageable level.

The water underneath Naruto's feet started to boil as a deep red shroud of pure youki formed around his body.

'So far, so good.' the boy thought as a single tail sprouted from the shroud and a pair of rabbit-like "ears" formed atop Naruto's head. 'Now comes the tricky part.' a second tail appeared, but Naruto didn't stop. He wanted the maximum amount of power that his two-tailed form could supply.

It was when he reached that maximum that everything went to hell. As he reached the two-tail peak, the youki floodgates were suddenly opened and a massive amount of it poured right into Naruto's system. Before he could even slow it down, a third tail grew and the strain forced Naruto down to a knee.

**"Shit!" **Kyuubi cursed. **"I knew this would happen!" **she couldn't even help, as the power wasn't coming directly from her.

As Naruto struggled to keep the fourth tail at bay, Hidan had finished the clones and was staring at his primary target with more than a little fear. He knew that, once the Curse wore off, he'd have no chance in hell against something with as much power as the boy was pumping out. While his immortality made him arrogant, he knew that his overall power and skill wasn't very impressive amongst the rest of Akatsuki.

Itachi had his damnedable bloodline and incredible speed. Kisame had an entire list of demonic enhancements, most obvious of which were superhuman strength and stamina, plus a sentient sword that literally ate chakra(10). Sasori was a certified genius, a master tactician, and could make damn near anything; from weapons, to poisons, to seals. Deidara could make _anything_ blow up, and he was one hell of a cook to boot. Zetsu was literally a living video camera, and could be anywhere, at any time; even two places at once. Kakuzu as a strategist on par with Sasori, had physical strength and resilience second only to Kisame, and could reattach people's body parts just as easily as he could rip them off.

And then there were the three real mysteries of the group: the Leader himself, his "sidekick" Konan, and Zetsu's lapdog/new recruit. While no one had ever seen the Leader in combat, they could all tell that he was a powerhouse; his chakra levels alone put even Kisame to shame.

Konan was pretty much the same, though she masked her chakra and never said a word to anyone beyond simple greetings and yes/no answers. However, the power she display when Deidara groped her on a dare...Always be wary of the quiet ones.

Then there was hyperactive ball of pure annoyance known only as "Tobi". Zetsu, Itachi and Kisame seemed to be the only ones that could tolerate him, and it was no great secret why. Kisame had become friends with Tobi quite quickly, citing his jolly and carefree attitude as a refreshing change of pace in an organization full of hardasses. Itachi seemed to have worked out a deal with the "boy" where Tobi would leave him alone as long as there was a box of pocky with his name on it(11). And since Zetsu was Tobi's boss, Tobi never really bothered him in the first place.

As far as capabilities went, no one knew much about Tobi, not even Zetsu. But, judging from the "fights" Tobi often had with Deidara, the "boy" seemed to be indestructible, as he shrugged off explosions that could turn multi-story buildings into rubble. He was almost like a living cartoon character; things that would kill a "normal" person, and at least hurt people like Hidan, seemed to have little or no effect on Tobi. The kid had literally been blown into another country once, but had returned two days later just as chipper as ever, and with souvenirs for everyone.

Compared to all that, what did Hidan have? He wasn't especially powerful, fast, experienced or skilled. He was FAR from a great tactician, he was terrible at most anything requiring stealth, and he had absolutely no contacts outside of Akatsuki. So what did he bring to the table that earned him a spot in the organization? According to Kakuzu, Hidan was perfect cannon fodder, and little more.

So what was he to do now? Keep fighting until he was eventually destroyed? Or flee while he still had the chance and live to fight another day? Jashin would NOT be pleased if he ran away; cowardice in the face of the enemy was a sin. But a few(dozen)hours of prayer could convince the Blood God to forgive him. Being mauled to death by a demon child wasn't so easy to remedy.

'But I could kill him right now!' true, the boy was surrounded by a youki shroud, but he seemed to be having trouble controlling the power.

During an "orientation" meeting, the Leader had detailed several techniques and strategies, most developed by legitimate Demon Hunters, for capturing their targets. He'd spent an hour just talking about youki shrouds alone, and how to defeat them. According to the Leader, even low-level youki shrouds were nearly impervious as far as normal weapons were concerned. But, against a weapon heavily infused with chakra, even a simple kunai, youki shrouds might as well have been made of warm butter.

The theory was that the concentrated chakra would disrupt the shroud at the point of contact just enough for the weapon to pass through, given that enough force was applied. Of course, the stronger the shroud, the more chakra was needed to pierce it. But Hidan, now with an inexhaustible chakra supply, had no need to worry about how much he used.

The problem was getting close enough to do it. Though the boy was distracted at the moment, that didn't mean it was safe to get near him. For all Hidan knew, it could've been a ploy meant to lure him into a trap. And even if it wasn't an act, who's to say that the Jinchuuriki wouldn't sense his approach and leap into action? No, going for a kill was far too risky, and the Leader would surely be pissed if Hidan killed the Kyuubi's vessel. Depending on how the seal used to hold the beast worked, killing the vessel could mean freeing it or killing it as well. Either way, Akatsuki would never get the King of Demons if the Jinchuuriki died.

'...Jashin-sama, forgive me, for I am about to sin...' Hidan gave a heavy sigh and made to run towards the tunnel that brought him into the reservoir.

However, his feet wouldn't move. Looking down, Hidan's eyes widened as he saw a pair of black tentacles wrapped around his legs. Before he voice his surprise/confusion, or react at all, the tentacles pulled him under and held him there. While his body didn't need oxygen to survive, he did need it to stay awake. So, in a couple minutes, the immortal would be down for the count until someone bothered to wake him up.

Naruto, hearing the sudden splash, looked up to see what his enemy was up to, only to find that he was now alone. He looked all around, making sure the man wasn't on the ceiling, or something. Then he noticed the bubbles. Whatever had happened, the gray-haired nukenin was now underwater and apparently drowning.

'What th-!' Naruto blinked, then recoiled violently. As soon as he opened his eyes, he saw Shizaru standing before him.

_**"Oh? Pulling out all the stops, aren't we?" **_Shizaru asked in a tone that couldn't have been anything else but mocking. _**"I took care of your little 'friend', I hope you don't mind." **_the Archdemon started circling Naruto, staying tauntingly within arm's reach. _**"When I saw you finally making full use of that wonderful youki, I just had to get in on the action."**_

**"What...do you want?" **Naruto growled, his voice heavily distorted.

_**"Uh, uh, uh," **_Shizaru taunted, wagging his finger, _**"if you want answers, you have to pass a test, remember?"**_ he stopped walking and adopted a "thinking pose". _**"I think I'll give you another freebie. It's not about what I want; it never was. I want what my Lord wants, and he wants you." **_

Naruto eyed the demon suspiciously. He'd detected something in that last statement, something that he knew very well: resentment.

He smirked. **"Was that...bitterness I heard? What's the matter? Is your 'Lord' looking for a...replacement?" **Naruto's smirk widened when he saw the demon's right hand twitch ever so slightly.

_**"Please, you're nothing compared to me." **_Shizaru scoffed. _**"I'm not foolish enough to think I'll be at the top forever, but you've got a few thousand years to go before you could ever entertain the thought of challenging me."**_

**"Really now?" **Naruto asked in the same mocking tone Shizaru had used before.

**"Naruto, don't." **Kyuubi suddenly spoke up. **"This is not a being you want to piss off, not at your level."**

_**"...I would say your bravado is impressive, but I'm calling your bluff." **_Shizaru crouched down in front of Naruto, getting right in his face. _**"You're not used to the amount of power flowing through your system right now. It's got you intoxicated and feeling invincible. You think this shroud will protect you?"**_ he lifted his right hand and flicked Naruto's forehead with his middle finger.

A couple milliseconds later, Naruto found himself embedded four feet into the wall behind him. With a feral snarl, Naruto pried himself from the hole and jumped back onto the water, eyes glowing furiously.

_**"Hm?" **_Shizaru stood to his full height of six-foot-five and his hood shifted slightly as he cocked his head to the side. _**"Are you angry? Good. You're starting to think more like a demon; intolerant of being pushed around, even by stronger beings." **_the Archdemon General rotated his shoulders, as if loosening up for a fight.

This simple act caused Naruto to take an involuntary step back, and he immediately grew even more enraged.

**"Naruto-koi, please, calm down." **Kyuubi pleaded, knowing exactly where this was headed, and knowing exactly what the outcome would be.

_**"Listen to her, Halfling, before you do something that you'll regret."**_ Shizaru taunted.

That was the last straw. This scumbag was invading his mind again, and he would face the consequences this time around.

Giving into his anger, Naruto released his hold on the youki and allowed it to completely flood his system. He bit back a scream as the youki tore through his body, tearing it apart from the inside, only to repair it immediately afterwards. As Naruto dropped to all fours, the youki shroud began to condense around him to the point that it became like a second skin.

With his last coherent thought, Naruto reached up and took of his mask, not wanting to risk it being damaged beyond repair. After tossing it aside, Naruto glared at Shizaru with eyes that burned like stars. He gave one final lurch and bowed his head as the transformation completed and four tails waved angrily behind him. Letting loose a growl filled with demonic malice, Naruto lifted his head and locked eyes with his enemy.

If he'd had a mirror, or had been thinking about anything but destruction and death, Naruto would've noticed that he looked just like N2 in his newly-achieved demon form. Given, Naruto had four tails instead of one, and was a deep crimson as opposed to dark purple, but they were identical in every other way.(12)

But Naruto didn't have a mirror, and the only thing on his mind was the total obliteration of the object of his ire. As if to announce his intentions, Naruto belted out a roar that shook the entire sewer system for miles.

Though he wasn't intimidated in the slightest, Shizaru did wince at the volume. It would take a few minutes for his ears to stop ringing.

_**"Was that really necessary?"**_ he received a low growl in response. _**"Are you trying to frighten me?" **_the Namikaze founder chuckled derisively and took a step forward. _**"How can you even think of intimidating me, when it's you that's afraid?" **_he took another step.

As Shizaru got closer, the possessed Naruto seemed to shrink as he hunkered down and growled a warning. Naruto felt more powerful than ever before, yet here he was basically cowering before his own ancestor. But there was no room for pride or a wounded ego, not now. Now he was little more than a cornered animal; an apex predator suddenly knocked to the bottom of the food chain.

It was no longer about making Shizaru pay for what he'd done; it was about survival at any cost. If that meant fighting that which terrified him, then so be it. With one last snarl, Naruto lunged with such speed that one would think he'd teleported to his foe's location.

But Shizaru was still faster. Not even the most powerful Uchiha could've seen his leg move, and Naruto most certainly didn't. He did, however, feel the boot meet his chin with ungodly force, sending him upward like a rocket. He instinctively tilted his body to land on all-fours on the ceiling, creating a huge crater.

_**"Try again." **_Shizaru said, though it might as well have been a command.

Naruto did try again, leaping from the ceiling right down on the other demon, jaws and claws primed and ready to mutilate. But it was not to be, as Shizaru vanished before he was hit. Having been completely committed to the attack, Naruto had put some monstrous power behind it; so much, in fact, that the water wasn't able to stop him. He kept going down until he hit the bottom of the reservoir, where he created another crater.

Shooting back up to the surface, Naruto scanned the area, using all of his senses to detect his enemy. While there was absolutely no trace of him, Naruto could still feel his presence and the terror it inspired in him. That's why, when he spotted the exit to the reservoir, he bolted for it. In his current state, he cared not about his sword, cloak or mask; he just wanted out. Now.

_**"Leaving? So soon?" **_Naruto whipped around to see Shizaru standing less than twenty feet away._** "Perhaps I should've mentioned this before..." **_Shizaru closed the distance faster than Naruto's mind could process and delivered a "light" jab to his abdomen, once again burying him inside of a wall. _**"The tests are not optional."**_

I massive red arm came flying out of the broken wall, coming straight for the black-clad demon. Said demon simply sighed as his shadow darkened and expanded, then produced an arm of its own that easily intercepted and held back the Devil Claw. Several smaller arms suddenly sprouted from the main Devil Claw and converged on Shizaru, only to be halted as his Darkness construct also sprouted more arms to catch them.

_**"Hm, for one currently incapable of higher thought, that was somewhat impressive." **_Shizaru complimented. _**"But," **_he held up a finger, _**"the Devil Claw is one of the most basic of demonic abilities. If this is all you can do, then you might as well just curl up and die right here."**_

Shizaru's words pierced through the primal haze that gripped Naruto's mind, registering with crystal clarity. Those words conjured up a plethora of memories; terrible memories. They involved different people, different places and different events, and each one was worse than the last. But they all had one thing in common: they all included the words "just die".

Were he not in such an animalistic mindset, Naruto might've pondered just how many times he'd been "commanded" to die, if only out of morbid curiosity. But in his current state, these memories infuriated him like nothing else. They reminded him of when he was weak and helpless, unable to fend off even a couple of drunken civilians. They reminded him of the fact that, even with how far he'd progressed since then, he was once again weak and helpless.

All thoughts of retreat, and even survival, were burned away by a wave of unquenchable rage. This rage was accompanied by an influx of youki so massive that it wouldn't have been a surprise to see a fifth tail come through. This sudden influx strengthened Naruto's Devil Claw, allowing it to overpower Shizaru's countermeasures, carving right through them.

Shizaru, for his part, had been expecting this, and was easily able to get out of the way before the Devil Claw could crush him. Having been in Naruto's mind, the Archdemon knew exactly which buttons to press, and just how to press them in order to get the reaction he desired. He had chosen his words carefully, and had put a subtle emphasis on them so they'd have that much more impact.

What did Shizaru want? Exactly what he was getting: unrivaled fury. He wanted Naruto to come at him without an ounce of fear, with no regard for his own life. He wanted the young hanyou thinking of only one thing: tearing him apart. He wanted Naruto to be as powerful as possible; it would make his defeat all the more humiliating.

Speaking of humiliation, if anyone that knew Naruto, or even knew OF him, witnessed the current "battle", few would believe it was really him. Shizaru treated him like a child throwing a tantrum. Easily sidestepping Naruto's most vicious attacks and swatting him away with a mere flick of his wrist. The Archdemon even went so far as to swing Naruto around by his tails and smash him into each wall of the reservoir. But soon Shizaru seemed to tire of toying with his prey and sent Naruto into a wall for the sixth time since he'd shown up.

Of course, the impact had very little effect on Naruto, besides angering him even further, if that was at all possible. Looking up, he saw his enemy standing before him and lashed out, only to strike air as the rival demon disappeared instantly. With an earth-shaking roar of pure frustration, Naruto ripped himself from the wall and looked around, once again using all of his senses to scan for Shizaru.

Had the demonic boy looked over his shoulder, he would've seen his target standing on the wall just above the hole he'd just come out of. But, unfortunately, Naruto couldn't detect the other demon at all, and had no hope of avoiding taking a boot to the back of his head. But he didn't allow his surprise to prevent him from counterattacking.

Shizaru's eyes widened slightly when the transformed hanyou literally grew a second body, which immediately went for him. While making body doubles from the youki shroud was a low-level ability like the Devil Claw, being able to make one instantaneously like that was quite impressive, considering the boy had no experience with it. In fact, Shizaru was taken aback enough for the clone to actually land a hit, raking the claws of its right hand across the Archdemon's chest.

As Naruto was continued to sail through the air, his clone stayed behind and moved to follow up on its attack. But, just as it raised its arm, the appendage was severed, along with its head, leaving it unable to stabilize itself.

Not noticing the energy flowing back to Naruto, Shizaru stared down at the four large tears in his robe. Underneath them laid four thin scratches on his skin, which were slow to heal and still leaking miniscule amounts of blood. His blood. For the first time in over a thousand years, Shizaru, THE Shizaru, was bleeding. This fact awakened a rage in the Archdemon that hadn't been witnessed in centuries. With that rage, came the impulse to maim, mutilate and destroy.

Shizaru knew that his anger was irrational. He knew that it was his own fault that he was bleeding. He knew that he was being petty, if not downright childish. But he just couldn't help it. It would seem that what little Namikaze blood still flowed through his veins refused to let him forget who he was.

Naruto started to charge, but stopped dead in his tracks when his enemy looked at him with eyes that glowed with an otherworldly blue light. Suddenly, the fear returned with a vengeance, causing his heart rate to skyrocket. He started to back away, noticeably trembling and letting out nearly inaudible whimpers as he went. Naruto let out a sharp yelp as the demon appeared before him, but it was cutoff when three large blades pierced completely through his body, skewering his intestines.

Grabbing the hanyou's neck in his left hand, Shizaru slowly slid his blades out. He retracted the middle until it was extended by only a foot, and completely retracted the other two. Then, in a single, almost casual motion, he jammed the single blade back into Naruto's torso. He pulled the claw back out, only to plunge it in again just inches to the left of the last wound.

Over the course of a full minute, Shizaru stabbed Naruto hundreds of times, carving up his guts in a disturbingly blasé manner. With each impalement, Naruto felt his strength draining, along with his lifeblood. By fiftieth stab, his glowing eyes started to dim. By the hundredth, his fourth tail had disappeared. By the time Shizaru hit two-hundred, Naruto was down to two tails. At at three-hundred, only one tail remained, and the shroud was barely holding together. At a four-hundred, the shroud was gone, and the only thing keeping Naruto from collapsing was the hand clenched around his throat.

But Shizaru kept going, seemingly detached from what he was doing. Suddenly, he stopped, halting his blood-drenched blade just inches from Naruto's mutilated midsection. He'd damn-near cut the boy completely in half. Keeping his grip on Naruto, Shizaru shook his head slightly to clear the cobwebs, then took in the spectacle he'd created.

The boy's digestive system had been reduced to chunky red soup that was spilling out of the gaping, ragged hole that used to be Naruto's abdomen. Only his spine, along with bits of muscle, fascia and a couple tendons were keeping his body in one piece, and they all seemed to be straining against the force of gravity. The amount of blood that continued to pour out of him was staggering; enough to completely stain the water crimson, with bits of flesh floating around on the surface.

Naruto himself seemed to be dead. His eyes were glazed over and devoid of any life, just staring off at absolutely nothing. Though he was still breathing, if just barely, and his heart was still beating, Shizaru might as well have been holding a corpse.

_**"...Well shit." **_Shizaru sighed heavily, he hadn't meant to go this far. However, any thoughts of remorse were dashed when Naruto's boot caught him under the chin, forcing him to drop the boy and stumble back.

Naruto landed on the water, just barely able to muster up enough chakra to allow the surface tension to hold his weight. He struggled to stand up, but found that it was no use. Besides having every muscle between his ribcage and pelvis turned into hamburger, that last act of defiance had taken everything he had left. If he had the energy, Naruto would've smirked; at least he got one good hit in on Shizaru, and that was something to be proud of.

However, Kyuubi didn't agree in the slightest, for she knew that the consequences of that final kick would be dire.

**"Why, why, why?! Why would you do something so fucking STUPID?!" **the Queen of Demons raged, a snarl on her face and tears in her eyes. If Shizaru gutted Naruto over a couple of scratches, Kyuubi shuddered to think of what he'd do in response to what was basically a cheap shot.

The Archdemon General of Hell's Army didn't disappoint. With a glare that would make even a Bijū cower, Shizaru stalked up to Naruto and lifted him from the water.

_**"Your next test starts now."**_ the Namikaze founder hissed, then proceeded to give Naruto the most vicious beating of his life.

And it only took two seconds. In two seconds, Shizaru left Naruto with a list of injuries that would make even the most seasoned medics cringe. Twenty broken ribs, a collapsed lung, a ruptured liver and spleen, a lacerated kidney, two shattered kneecaps, two dislocated shoulders, two broken arms, a broken right hand, a crushed trachea, a broken nose, a shattered jaw and several fractured vertebrae.

Shizaru watched as Naruto floated on the water, which you couldn't even tell was water at this point. The boy was barely breathing in desperate gasps and choked gurgles, the result of only one functional lung and a crushed windpipe. Once again, he'd gone overboard; but this time he didn't care. In fact, he thought that the beating was missing a little _something_. As he thought about what that was, the water level had finally reached the sensor on the feed tunnel and a rather loud siren sounded, warning anyone in the reservoir to clear out for the drainage process.

The water drained a lot faster than Shizaru had expected, but he was still able to snatch Naruto's mask as he floated by. To keep Naruto's body from floating away, the Archdemon pinned it under his foot, looking for all the world like a hunter posing for a photo with his kill.

_**"You can thank me later." **_Shizaru chuckled as he tossed the mask into the small hole in the wall where Naruto had placed his cloak, chain and sword. Once the water completely drained, the sharp "clink" of metal on stone was heard, causing the black-robed Archdemon to turn around.

There, laying against one of the drainage tunnel filters, was the soaked body of Hidan, still clutching the red scythe in one hand. Of course, he wasn't dead, just unconscious from lack of oxygen.

_**"Hm, I completely forgot about him..." **_Shizaru trailed off as his eyes locked onto the triple-bladed weapon. _**"That'll do just fine." **_he smirked under his hood, eyes literally glowing with a kind of sadistic glee normally associated with Inferno.

Shizaru walked over to the dormant "immortal" with a certain swagger in his gait. He grabbed the scythe and tugged on it a bit to test the human's grip. Slightly impressed that an unconscious human could hold onto something so strongly, Shizaru stepped on the man's forearm, causing his hand to unclench and release the weapon.

_**"Hmm..." **_Shizaru nodded in appreciation as he swung the scythe a few times to get a feel for it. _**"Yes, this is quite a weapon. Excellent craftsmanship and impeccable condition." **_he twirled it around like an expert, which he actually was. _**'Thank you, dear brother.'**_

Shizaru walked up to Naruto and picked him up by his hair, slightly disappointed that the hanyou had no visible or audible reaction to the rough treatment. Given, he hadn't once cried out during his torture, which caused Shizaru to doubt if he even felt it. But it didn't matter much, the damage was already done. If he didn't feel it now, then he'd feel it later.

However, Naruto did, indeed, feel every single hit. For some reason, his body's natural defense against tremendous pain had failed to kick in. Was it a side effect of what Shizaru had done to his mind? Naruto couldn't be certain of anything, but he refused to give the demon the pleasure of hearing him scream.

It didn't take long for Shizaru to figure it out. _**"Again with the machismo? What, are you trying to keep yourself from sinking any lower in the eyes of your mate?" **_the Archdemon chuckled as he saw Naruto's eyes widen. _**"You think I don't know what that mark on your neck is? You think I don't know what it means? For a 'genius', you sure do seem to have a lot of idiotic moments. A side-effect of your mind being tampered with so many times?"**_

Shizaru walked Naruto over to the nearest wall and held him up against it. Thick tendrils of shadow emerged and wrapped around Naruto's neck, arms and upper torso, effectively crucifying him. Looking down, Shizaru notice that the damage he'd done to the hanyou's abdomen was healing at a surprising rate.

_**'So that's why I can't hear Kyuubi-sama; she's devoting her full attention to patching the Halfling up.' **_Kyuubi healing Naruto didn't sit very well with Shizaru, as he wanted the boy to recover under his own power. But he knew it was his fault in the first place for going too far with the "test". But that didn't mean he was going to make it any easier.

Charging the scythe with a bit of youki, Shizaru swung it like a club and buried the blades in Naruto's partially repaired guts. Because of the positions of the blades, the scythe acted more like an axe with the way it was swung and thus cleanly chopped Naruto in two just above his waist. With nothing holding them up, Naruto's legs fell to the floor with a meaty "thump" and unleashed a veritable flood of gore.

Shizaru just watched with mild amusement, biting back the urge to spout a one-liner. But, as be backed up a bit to admire his handiwork, he still felt that it was missing _something_.

After a few seconds of deliberation, Shizaru snapped his fingers as a proverbial lightbulb went off over his head.

_**"Ahah! I know what's missing now." **_he leaned in spoke lowly. _**"Listen, Halfling, and listen well. Your test is far from over; it's only just begun. To pass, you need only do one simple thing: Survive." **_and with an instantaneous burst of inhuman speed, Shizaru lift his right leg and planted his boot straight into Naruto's face.

The sheer force of the kick sent Naruto's head right through the concrete, adding a broken neck, shattered cranium and massive concussion to the list of potentially fatal injuries. Only Naruto's naturally hardened skull and a last-moment youki shield, courtesy of Kyuubi, kept his head from bursting like a ripe melon. Of course, there was nothing she could do to keep the boy conscious, so he was out cold the same second the boot impacted.

Shizaru chuckled as he willed the shadow tendrils to let what was left of the boy go. Though the arms flopped down like wet noodles, the boy remained attached to the wall via his head.

_**"Hm, even with all the powerful techniques present in every realm, few things beat the efficiency of a simple boot to the head." **_the Archdemon said to no one in particular. _**"Quick, easy, and with no overly messy aftermath..." **_he trailed off as he looked at Naruto's mangled facial features. _**"Most of the time, anyway."**_

It was then that he noticed a fairly powerful human heading towards the reservoir. From his earlier scouting, Shizaru knew it to be the Jashinists' partner, Kakuzu. An interesting human that could easily pass for a demon were it not for the lack of youki in his body. He was moving at a good pace, too; likely fleeing from something.

After briefly contemplating leaving, Shizaru decided that he couldn't risk the human taking Naruto, seeing as how the boy was a sitting duck at the moment. So, he waited patiently, counting down the seconds until the second "Zombie Brother" showed up.

_**'Three...Two...One.' **_right on time, Kakuzu leapt from the feed tunnel and landed on the reservoir floor, which was already covered in nearly five inches of water.

Kakuzu had been homing in on his partner's chakra signature, and didn't like what he saw upon entering the reservoir. Besides the lack of a clear exit, besides the way he came in, Kakuzu saw his partner out like a light up against the filter of the drainage tunnel.

'Great, now I have to haul his sorry ass out of here.' Kakuzu mentally grumbled, still confused as to why he'd even bothered to look for Hidan in the first place. 'Did you at least beat th-...' Kakuzu's words died in his head as he turned to see the Kyuubi vessel's decimated corpse pinned to the wall by Hidan's scythe. 'Fuck...' the Leader would NOT be happy about this.

_**"He's still alive." **_Kakuzu's eyes widened and, on reflex, he whirled around and took a swing at the source of the voice behind him. But he hit nothing but air.

'...The fu-!' Kakuzu paused as he spied a tall, humanoid, robed figure standing just to the side of the Jinchuuriki's body.

_**"Well, he's alive for now, at least." **_Shizaru turned his head to give his latest "work of art" another once-over.

'...Who the hell is this guy?' Kakuzu thought, all the while trying to keep his body from trembling. Something about this "man" scared the living hell out of the S-Class nukenin. So much so, that he actually took an involuntary step back when the "man" looked back to him.

Imagine Kakuzu's surprise when the "man" responded, as if reading his thoughts.

_**"Someone you'd best avoid." **_Shizaru replied before opening a shadow portal in the wall next to the unconscious human. _**"I'm afraid you don't need to know more than that, so just take your partner and go through that portal behind you. It will lead you directly to your hideout."**_

Kakuzu chanced a look over his shoulder and saw a man-sized patch on the wall that was actually _darker_ than the pitch-blackness of the reservoir itself. He didn't even want to get close to it, let alone go _through_ it. But the fact that this guy knew where their hideout was only strengthened Kakuzu's resolve to get as far away from him as possible.

'...Not a chance in hell.' the nukenin shook his head.

_**"Oh? So you have another way out, then?" **_Shizaru questioned mockingly. _**"The Nibi's vessel is getting closer..." **_he smirked under his hood when he heard a bestial roar echo into the chamber. _**"And she sounds quite angry. If you go back the way you came, you will surely run into her, and I doubt you can fit into the drainage tunnels." **_Shizaru's smirk widened when he saw Kakuzu twitch, realizing what he'd gotten himself into. _**"Take my offer and go. I'm giving you a way out right now, but I won't stop the Nibi vessel from tearing you apart when she gets here."**_

Not needing to be told again, Kakuzu quickly threw Hidan over his shoulder, but stopped just before entering the "portal". Turning around, Kakuzu gave the black-robed figure a look that just screamed suspicion. He had been around far too long not to realize that nobody did anything for free.

The Archdemon rolled his eyes, knowing exactly what that look meant. _**"Both of you fought admirably today, and I feel it would be a shame to let your lives end in such a pitiful manner." **_Shizaru shrugged. _**"I want you to live, if only to see a rematch between you and the vessels someday. Besides, I find the animosity between you and the Jashinist to be most amusing."**_

Kakuzu's eyes went wide and he nearly dropped Hidan as his whole body shook. 'He's been spying on us?!'

_**"I know all about you, Kakuzu of the Black Threads. I know more than you can possibly imagine, human." **_Shizaru suppressed a grin at the reaction his words garnered. _**"No more questions." **_without looking, he reached back and ripped the scythe from the wall.

Gravity took over Naruto's body slumped forward and fell to the floor less than a foot in front of his severed legs.

Shizaru gave the body a quick glance, biting back a chuckle. He then tossed the scythe to Kakuzu, who nearly let it fly passed him and into the portal.

_**"Go."**_

Without further argument or questioning, Kakuzu, partner on shoulder and scythe in hand, turned and jumped into the portal, which immediately closed after him.

A second later, Yugito barreled into the reservoir, freezing everything around her.

_**"You just missed them." **_Shizaru said, idly noting that he could now see his own breath in the frigid air.

Yugito rounded on the other demon and prepared to attack, but paused when a very familiar smell assaulted her nose. Blood, and LOTS of it. Then she noticed the source of it and an odd combination of emotional extremes tore through her. Blinding fury, frenzied panic, heart-wrenching sorrow, and mind-numbing fear to top it all off. She set her blazing eyes on the black-clad demon and let out a low growl more intimidating than anything Naruto produced in his four-tailed form.

But it still didn't faze the Archdemon General of Hell's Army. _**"You should know that he made the same mistake that you're about to make right now."**_

The monotonous, almost bored tone that the demon used caused Yugito to pause again. She could tell that he was genuinely unthreatened by her, and that was enough to get her to back down. She knew that he was a demon, and if he had done _that_ to Naruto, yet came out unscathed, he wasn't someone to mess with.

Shizaru smirked as the Nibi vessel's shroud died around her and she just stood there, eyes still burning with impotent rage.

_**"Good girl. You're much smarter than this lump of meat." **_Shizaru nudged Naruto's body with his boot and noticed that there were dozens of thin strands of red youki slowly pulling the boy's upper and lower halves back together.

Yugito growled again, but made no move to attack. "What did you do to him?"

Shizaru rose an eyebrow at the question. _**"What does it look like? I retract my previous statement about you being smarter than him. You're both equally dumb."**_ he was tempted to say something about "dumb blondes", but decided against it, as he was blonde, too. _**'Mostly blonde, anyway.'**_

For a moment, Yugito looked ready to lunge, but she held herself back, knowing that she'd only get herself killed.

_**"Hm, maybe you are a bit smarter. Before you ask; no, I did not kill him." **_yet another smirk played on Shizaru's lips as Yugito visibly relaxed just a little bit. _**"But," **_Yugito instantly tensed again, _**"you should probably get him to a hospital. I doubt any human doctor could do much for him, but perhaps a more stable environment will help the healing process along." **_at the very least, there would be less to potentially interrupt the process. Shizaru figured that, since he'd gone all "excessive force" on Naruto, he could at least let him recover/die in a hospital bed.

Without a second thought, Yugito dashed forward and touched her fingers to Naruto's neck, wincing as she felt bones where they shouldn't have been. 'Thank Kami, he still has a pulse. It's weak, bu-!' the female Jinchuuriki froze, then slowly turned her head to look at the demon less than four feet away from her.

Shizaru stared right back, somewhat surprised that the girl's concern over her fellow vessel caused her to momentarily forget about him.

_**"Yep, I'm still here." **_Shizaru waved tauntingly. _**"Don't worry, I'm only here for the Halfling, I've got no business with you."**_

Yugito's eyes narrowed. "You call _this_ 'business'?"

_**"Yes." **_Shizaru shrugged. _**"I did go a little overboard, but it was just business. The business is done, and you are free to leave with him whenever you wish. But I must stress that time is of the essence." **_

"How do I know you won't attack me as soon as I turn my back?"

_**"Simple: you don't. That's just a risk you're going to have to take. If you want your friend to live, that is." **_when Yugito didn't budge, Shizaru rolled his eyes and sighed. _**"What do you want, my word? Fine, I promise that I will let you leave these sewers without any further harm. Happy?"**_

"No." Yugito hissed. "A demon's word is their bond, and thus they rarely make promises. But when they do, they twist words and tell only half-truths in order to confuse and deceive those that demand their word. You promised that you would let us leave the sewers unharmed; you said nothing about what happens after we get out." the Nibi had been quick to educate Yugito on all forms of trickery employed by demons.

Shizaru stood silently for a few seconds, then suddenly began chuckling. _**"I see Hinade has taught you well, Nii Yugito." **_the Archdemon snorted at the girl's bewildered look. _**"But I see she hasn't taught you about me, otherwise you wouldn't be so surprised. As I told the last human, I know more than you can possibly imagine, little girl." **_he smirked at the indignation written all over Yugito's face. _**"Now, run along. There are things I still need to take care of, and you are trying my patience."**_

"You still haven't given me your word yet."

_**"Yes, I did. True, you're fair game as soon as you reach the surface, but as I said before; that's a risk you're going to have to take. But if you insist on irritating me, then I might just have some **_**business**_** with you afterall..."**_ Shizaru let the threat hang and pointed to the reservoir's only exit, silently commanding the girl to take her companion and leave immediately.

Yugito did just that, slinging Naruto over her shoulder somewhat haphazardly, jumping up to the feed tunnel and rushing off without another word.

Shizaru rose an eyebrow at the way she'd been carrying Naruto, then shook his head. _**"...Fucking blondes..." **_he muttered to himself before vanishing in his usual manner.

Meanwhile, Yugito charged through the tunnels a like a violent gust of wind through a canyon. She expertly navigated the system, never slowing down, let alone pausing to check her location. She knew all the ins and outs of this branch of Kumo's sewers.

'Don't worry, Naruto-kun, I'll get you out of here in no time!' Yugito thought, thanking every deity she could think of for her time with the sewer technicians.

Unfortunately, in her haste, she failed to notice the freshly-regenerated bits of Naruto's muscle, fascia and spine struggling to hold up to the punishment her pace subjected them to. Eventually, they gave out.

Yugito suddenly stopped as she felt the load on her shoulder lighten dramatically in an instant. Slightly afraid of what she'd see, the girl gulped and slowly slid Naruto's body off her shoulder to inspect it.

"KYAAAH!" Yugito couldn't hold back a horrified scream as she saw she was only holding Naruto's legs; everything else was gone. Looking back, she let out another yelp when she saw the rest of his body floating on the water and being carried away back down the tunnel.

Creating a Water Clone to retrieve the other half of her friend, Yugito discovered that she had no way to carry Naruto without doing more damage to him.

"Dammit!" she lashed out in frustration, sending her left fist into the wall beside her. "I'm so sorry..." she turned away from the body after creating a second clone to at least try to put Naruto back together. "You risked your life just to help me, but I can't do anything for you."

Yugito leaned against the wall a few feet away from Naruto and her clones, still unable to look at his mangled remains. She slowly slid down until she was sitting on the water, wrapping her arms around her knees and burying her face in them. She started to slowly rock back and forth, muttering "useless" to herself over and over again.

Once again, the proud "Tokubetsu Chūnin" didn't exist, and Yugito Nii was reduced a scared little girl stuck in an unfamiliar and terrifying situation that she had no idea how to deal with.

_**"...Tell me, do you enjoy making things more difficult than they need to be?" **_Yugito yelped and shot up to the tunnel ceiling as Shizaru's voice rang out and he appeared in front of her.

"I knew it! You lying sack of-!" Yugito snarled, her feelings of worthlessness being overwhelmed by her anger.

_**"Silence!"**_ Shizaru snarled right back, causing Yugito to recoil and drop from the ceiling. _**"As you said, my word is my bond, and I gave you my word that you would leave here unharmed. I simply came back to deliver the Halflings possessions, one of which can surely remedy your current dilemma." **_he held out a rather large black bundle of items.

Yugito was surprised to see Naruto's sword, mask and chain, all wrapped up in his cloak, and cursed herself for not even bothering to look for them. She could've at least had a clone do it. But her surprise was quickly replaced with confusion at the demon's words.

Seeing the expression of said confusion, Shizaru rolled his eyes and grumbled something under his breath. _**"Must I do everything for you humans?" **_he placed the bundle on the water, where the cloak came back to life and "swam" over to Naruto's body and wrapped him up tightly, along with his weapons and mask. _**"There, nice and pretty." **_Shizaru sneered. _**"That should keep him in one piece while you move him. Do you think you can manage now? Or should I hold your hand and walk you out?" **_the girl's expression went blank and she, much to Shizaru's surprise, marched right up to him.

"Two things. One: Thanks for the help, I guess. Two: Fuck you, you pompous asshole." with that, Yugito huffed, turned on her heel and walked off down the tunnel, commanding her two clones to carry Naruto.

Shizaru, thoroughly flabbergasted, stood like a statue for a good three seconds, before bursting into laughter. Had those same words been spoken by Inferno, he would've just snorted, backhanded the rival Archdemon into a wall, and been on his way. But the fact that they'd come from a human, demon vessel or not, tickled Shizaru in a way that very few things could. He couldn't even think of a response! So, he opted to just leave, his unsettling cackle still echoing off the tunnel walls, following Yugito as she and her clones quickened their pace.

(?)

"Ugh..." Naruto groaned as he awoke to find himself surrounded by darkness. "What hit me?" he muttered to himself as he got to his feet.

_**"A size fifteen boot, among other things." **_a very familiar voice answered as a spotlight suddenly came on, illuminating a table and two chairs.

"You just can't leave me alone, can you?" Naruto cautiously crept towards the table.

_**"No." **_a pair of arms melted out of the shadows, elbows propped up on the table and black-gloved hands steepled in front of his hidden face. They were followed by a torso and the hooded head of the one being that officially tied with Orochimaru at the very top of Naruto's "Shit List". _**"Please, have a seat. I figured we'd play a little game while we wait to see whether you'll live or die." **_the second chair slid out from under the table of its own accord.

"Do I have a choice?" Naruto grumbled before taking the offered seat, which slid back under the table. Pushing back with his legs, Naruto found that the chair refused to budge. "Of course not."

_**"No fussing or wise-ass remarks? You're learning quickly." **_

"Whatever. So, am I correct in assuming that this is my mind, and my body is currently floating around in the sewer?"

_**"Half right. We are in your mind; a little room I set up just for this occasion. But you're not a waterlogged carcass, thanks to the other vessel."**_

"Yugito..." Naruto thought, but it came out clearly audible, causing his eyes to widen.

_**"Bingo. She's quite the little bombshell, in more ways than one. I must say, while you show some very poor judgment in combat, you've got excellent taste in women." **_Shizaru chuckled.

"Yes, I do." Naruto shrugged. "So, you said we'd be playing a 'game' to pass the time...What did you have in mind?"

_**"You've never heard of it, but it's quite popular where I come from. Don't worry, the learning curve isn't **_**too**_** steep, so I think you'll pick it up nicely." **_Shizaru smirked under his hood; he _loved_ this particular game.

"Hm, sounds like a blast." Naruto scoffed. "Does it have a name? Or is it just called 'The Game'?"

Shizaru's smirk widened into a full-blown maniacal grin as his eyes glowed a brilliant blue in his excitement.

_**"It goes by many names, actually. But, the most common is simply...'War'."**_

XXXX

Shizaru for the fuckin' WIN! I LOVE writing lines for this guy, almost as much as I do for Naruto and Nightmare. As you've probably guessed, he's going to play a big part in the next chapter, and is generally going to be in the spotlight more often from now on. When I first created him, I worried about him becoming just another generic villain, but I feel like he's really come into his own in this chapter.

Some of you had some concerns about how Hidan could possibly measure up as a decent opponent for my version of Naruto, but I think I did a nice job of it. I beefed him up a bit, gave him a wider range of skills and abilities. However, as you may have noticed, Naruto still could've dispatched Hidan quite easily with the right techniques. Why didn't he? That will be explored in the next chapter.

Now, before any of you say that I "downgraded" Kakuzu, think again. I actually upgraded him a bit, and stayed true to his character overall. For those wondering why I had Kakuzu fight Yugito instead of Naruto, the reason is simple: I wanted to have Yugito "show off". I introduced her as one of the strongest ninjas in Kumogakure, yet Naruto utterly demolished her with minimal effort. Regardless of the "sealed demon" handicap, I couldn't just leave things there; I had to show that she was known as the "Strongest Jinchuuriki" for a reason. Don't worry, she'll get her rematch with Naruto, but that's a long way off.

(1) As with most characters in the series, I've made Kakuzu larger than he is in-canon. Sorry to refer to the "tiny Japanese people" stereotype, but a lot of Naruto characters, including Naruto himself, are almost laughably short. Kisame, who looks gigantic, is only 6' 3". Even Jūgo, the tallest human character in the series so far, is "only" 6' 6". For future reference, Hidan is now 6' tall, as opposed to his canon height of 5' 8".

(2) Why not Lightning Clones? Simple: Yugito hasn't learned that particular technique yet. Why not Shadow Clones(she used them against Naruto in chapter twenty-nine)? In this particular battle, a Shadow Clone offers no real advantage over a Mud Clone or Water Clone. Why waste chakra on Shadow Clones, when you can conserve energy by using the environment to your advantage?

(3) Just one of several new abilities I've given Kakuzu in this fic.

(4) I upped Hidan's age in this fic. In the series, he's twenty-two at the time of his ultimate defeat at the hands of Shikamaru, which mean's he'd be nineteen at this point in the story. However, I decided that was a bit too young, so I made him twenty-one. Not a very significant difference, but I just wanted to get that out of the way. I did it for Yugito and Zabuza, so I might as well do it for Hidan, and any other character whom the story requires to be older/younger than canon.

(5) This technique is known as the "Earth Release: Earth Spike" in the series, which I find stupid. It turns your skin into rock-like armor, that's it. There are no pointy objects involved, besides those deflected by the armor. I mean really, isn't "Earth Spike" better suited to a technique that makes Spikes rise up out of the Earth? That's what I used it for, so I decided to call this technique "Mineral Coat" instead...It's better than "Hardbody Technique", or something like that(no offense to anyone who has used that name). Also, instead of turning the user's skin dirt-brown, the Mineral Coat makes the user's skin glossy, almost like polished plastic.

(6) He deserves a nickname, and I couldn't think of anything better than "Kakuzu of the Black Threads"...I tried it in Japanese, but it looked/sounded pretty lame.

(7) I haven't changed Kakuzu's age, so he's eighty-eight years old at this point in the story.

(8) Hora no Burato: Den of Bolts. Thanks to Atrumfides for the name. The original name was going to be "Thunderdome", but that was just a little too...easy.

(9) Something like the Soul Edge most definitely needs a handicap in a story like this. If it doesn't, it's like a BFG with infinite ammo: a Game Breaker.

(10) Remember, Kisame is a Jinchuuriki in this fic.

(11) Itachi always having pocky on-hand for reasons OTHER than him being addicted to it?! OH NOES! Seriously, where did the "pocky-obsession" thing come from? I know it's not canon.

(12) Yes, that was me being lazy. Everyone should know what Naruto's four-tailed form looks like, and I didn't change anything about it.

I guess that's about it. As usual, if I missed anything, feel free to point it out. Any questions(within reason)will be answered to the best of my abilities, so don't be shy about asking me to clarify things. Also, once again, I couldn't think of a better title for the chapter, so suggestions are welcome.

The next chapter's going to be pretty heavy on the drama and character development, so don't expect a lot of humorous banter, and I think you've all had your fill of action for the time being(I know I have).

Well, until next time, friends!

Jason Out!


	36. Knowledge Is Power

After half a year of inactivity, I bring you the next installment of this epic tale!

Not much action in this one, and it focuses mostly on what other characters are doing while Naruto's out of commission.

As I've said before, I'm making the switch back to smaller chapters, so no more 40k monsters.

Hmm...I feel I should say something, let you all know why it took so long. But I suppose it was really nothing out of the ordinary(for me, anyway), and those that actually care have already asked. So let's just get right to the reason you're here, shall we?

Enjoy!

XXXX

(Konohagakure no Sato)

"...Alright, how are we gonna do this?" Kiriko scratched her head as she looked back and forth between the unconscious carcass of Hinata, and the door they were supposed to fit her through.

Beside her, Kurohane leaned against the wall with her hand on her chin, thinking of possible solutions. "I...don't really know." the princess admitted, looking at the hidden door to Naruto's private workshop. "I don't think he planned on Hinata's demon form being this big."

The door was only seven feet high, by four feet wide; more than large enough for any human, but nowhere near wide enough to get Hinata's massive body through.

"Dammit!" Kurohane cursed as she leaned against a wall. "At this rate, we'll have to..." she suddenly went silent and her face became blank.

"Uh, Kuro-chan?" Haku walked over and waved her hand in front of the Summon's face, but got no reaction.

Just as Haku turned to the Orasu sisters and shrugged, Kurohane let out an unearthly shriek and fell to her knees while clutching her head. Startled and momentarily deafened, the girls couldn't keep Kurohane from collapsing face-first onto the floor when she passed out.

(?)

When the princess opened her eyes, she found herself in a place she hadn't visited in years: her mindscape. However, it didn't look like it should've.

Normally, and rather ironically, the area took the form of a library; her favorite place to be when she was younger. Given, it was because it was one of the few places where she was virtually guaranteed not to be bothered while she napped, but she had fond memories of it all the same.

But the library seemed to have been subject to some impromptu "remodeling" since she'd last visited. Instead of neat rows of shelves occupied by meticulously organized books, pristine study tables and comfy reading areas, there was disorder and destruction. Bookshelves had been toppled over, with their contents strewn all about, chairs had been thrown across the room, and every table had been either flipped over or broken in half.

"What a mess." Kurohane muttered.

She wasn't particularly perturbed by it, as she knew what caused it and how to fix it. Mindscapes were one of the very few things Kurohane actually paid attention to during school. She was fascinated by it; a completely self-contained pseudo-reality, controlled by your mind and limited only by your imagination. The concept alone had her hooked, and she made sure to learn everything she could about it.

"I really should come here more often." Kurohane mumbled to herself.

Seconds later, everything around her began to warp and shift, like a mirage in the desert. When the environment came back into focus, it was restored to its normal immaculate condition. Everything was back in its rightful place and Kurohane was all smiles. That is, until she remembered exactly how she'd ended up in her mindscape in the first place.

"Really, what was that all about?" the scythe-wielder asked herself as she took a seat in a nearby chair, situated beside a large fireplace.

_"...-ane..." _came an unfamiliar whisper that immediately put Kurohane on high-alert.

"What the..." Kurohane trailed off, going silent to see if she could hear anything else.

_"...-hane..."_

Though whatever was said sounded incomplete, it had come through much clearer than before, and Kurohane found that she recognized it.

"Kyuubi?"

_**"KUROHANE!" **_Kyuubi's voice shook Kurohane's mindscape like an earthquake, toppling everything that wasn't nailed down to the floor, including Kurohane herself.

"Dammit!" Kurohane cursed as she got back to her feet. "What is wrong with you?"

_**"Sorry, I was having trouble getting through. This kind of distance is a lot to ask of even a well-established mental link, let alone an unused one."**_ Kyuubi replied.

"What?"

_**"You and Naruto have a mental link, which I'm guessing was established the moment you attached yourself to him. I'm using that link to communicate with you right now." **_Kyuubi explained, but Kurohane could tell that something wasn't right.

"Kyuubi, what's wrong? You sound like you're in a hurry."

_**"That's because I am. We ran into some trouble in Kumo, and Naruto's been hurt..."**_

"H-How bad is i-it?"

_**"Even though I'm doing everything in my power to help him, his chances of survival are still slim."**_

"DammitdammitDAMMIT!" Kurohane screamed. "I'm on my way. Goddammit, I knew I shouldn't have left!"

_**"You're not going anywhere." **_Kyuubi said sternly.

"But I'm his Familiar; his bodyguard!"

_**"Are you also his nurse? What Naruto needs is a healer, not a fighter. If you think you're skilled enough to snatch him away from the Shinigami's doorstep, then by all means get over here. Otherwise, you'd best stay in Konoha and carry out your assignment."**_

"B-But...But I..."

_**"But what? The only thing you can do for him right now is what he told you to do. I didn't tell you this because I wanted or needed your help; I told you because you would've found out on your own eventually, and I didn't want you freaking out and doing something stupid."**_

"But Naruto..." Kurohane murmured, struggling to stop the flow of tears.

_**"He'll be okay. If he can't pull through with my help, then the Soul Edge can preserve his soul until his body can be properly restored."**_

"Really?" Kurohane wiped her eyes.

_**"According to Nightmare, that blade is good for something besides kill-..." **_Kyuubi suddenly trailed off.

"Hello? Kyuubi?" the Familiar called.

_**"WHAT?" **_the demoness suddenly roared, once again rocking Kurohane's mindscape. _**"Kurohane, we'll talk more later, hopefully after Naruto's been stabilized." **_without waiting for a response, the apparently furious Bijū cut the link.

"Wait!" Kurohane called, but it was too late. "...Fuck."

(Outside World - Naruto's Apartment)

"Um...Is she crying?" Kiriko asked, kneeling next to Kurohane's unmoving form.

The fact that black-clad girl was still breathing calmed them all down somewhat, but this newest development set off a whole new bout of hysterics. Mild hysterics, but hysterics nonetheless.

"Is it too much to ask for something to go smoothly?" Haku questioned, her left eye twitching slightly. "Literally every single plan that we've been involved in over the past few years has turned into some horrible catastrophe that we barely lived through!" 'And some of us didn't live through...'

"...What doesn't kill you makes you stronger?" Kiriko ventured.

"Then we should be fucking Demigods by now!" Haku snapped.

Kiriko slowly backed away from the seething girl and leaned over to whisper to her sister, "What happened to the polite and benevolent Haku?"

"Beats me." Chigusa shrugged.

"She has issues with repressed anger." Haku, having heard them, gave her own answer.

"I heard that could give you an ulcer." Chigusa said, citing an article she'd read in a publication called "Medic Magazine Monthly".

"I've already had two." Haku muttered, pushing her true feelings into the darkest corner of her mind, as she had done so many times over the years.

The two sisters shared a worried glance at this revelation, silently wondering if they personally had anything to do with their friend's past afflictions.

Meanwhile, Seizonsha, who had absolutely no idea what the humans were talking about, occupied herself with prodding the downed Kurohane with her paw.

"C'mon, Bird Lady, you can't take a nap now!" the small fox started jumping back and forth over Kurohane's face. "We got things to do!"

Kurohane's eyes suddenly snapped open and she bolted upright, causing everyone around her to recoil with a startled yelp.

"...My name isn't 'Bird Lady'." then, without another word, the girl got to her feet and walked over to the door.

After taking a glance back and Hinata to see just how much wider the door needed to be, Kurohane nodded to herself and summoned her scythe. A large ball of dark purple energy gathered around the scythe's blade, then she swung the weapon like a giant sledgehammer.

With a thunderous crash and a shower of rubble, the door was seven feet high, by eight feet wide.

"Well, that's one way to do it." Chigusa chuckled nervously while picking pieces of drywall out of her long black hair.

"Very...Naruto-esque." Haku said.

"Why didn't we think of that before?" Kiriko frowned. "Naruto probably does worse to this place on a regular basis. In fact, we saw him do worse just yesterday!" she pointed at the wall that had been demolished by a headbutt from Naruto.

"As much as I'd love to talk about the various ways in which Naruto has trashed his own property, I've still got a job to do." Kurohane said before taking hold of Hinata's body near where the humanoid and arachnid parts met. "And you girls volunteered to help out, so start with the helping."

While initially somewhat peeved with Kurohane's rudeness, the girls shrugged it off and helped the princess carry their unconscious friend into Naruto's "workshop".

(Naruto's Mindscape)

Had anyone been wandering through the dungeon-like maze of corridors that made up Naruto's mental sanctuary, and happened to make it to Kyuubi's chamber, they'd come across a sight that was actually quite routine. There was the demoness, in all her terrifying/hot-as-hell glory, pinning the Azure Knight to a wall with her hand wrapped around his neck.

Now, while this wasn't an uncommon event in Naruto's Mindscape, the details were most certainly out of the ordinary. Kyuubi looked genuinely ready to murder her fellow demon, and Nightmare looked genuinely afraid for his life.

**"Would you mind running that by me...one more time?"** Kyuubi seethed, baring her mouthful of vicious fangs as her glowing eyes bored holes through the demon knight's armor.

_"I...I was b-bluffing when I s-said that the Soul Edge c-could preserve Naruto's soul so his b-body could be healed."_ Nightmare barely managed to wheeze out(1).

**"And you never thought it important to let me in on that little tidbit of information?" **

_"I figured you knew enough about the Soul Edge to know that what I said wasn't true!"_

**"All I know about that thing is what has been written about it! I have virtually no knowledge of its inner workings and intricacies; that's YOUR department!" **Kyuubi snarled.

_"Dammit, I'm sorry, Kyuubi! I shouldn't have made that assumption, but I did, okay? I'm sorry!"_

Kyuubi snorted and released Nightmare from her grip. **"Of course you're sorry; everybody's sorry after they fuck up. But you've been around long enough to know that 'sorry' has never fixed a damn thing."**

_"What do you want me to say?"_ Nightmare growled as he glared down at the Demon Lord.

Even though he towered over her by more than half a foot(not including his horn), he still felt like a goldfish staring into the eyes of a Great White.

**"I don't want you to **_**say**_** anything, Nightmare. I want you to make yourself useful and go guard the door to that room Shizaru made. I need to devote my full attention to keeping Naruto alive, I'll need you to inform me of any new developments. Think you can handle that?"**

_"..."_ Nightmare didn't say a word, choosing to nod and avoid getting himself into more trouble with his mouth.

**"Good. Now, get out of my sight before I decide to devour you." **

Nightmare quickly stepped around the livid demoness and vacated her chamber. While Kyuubi could inflict all manner of violence on his person, eating him was the only surefire way to get rid of him for good. Even though Kyuubi had no direct power over souls outside of her own, once she ate someone, their soul would automatically be assimilated into hers, along with whatever form of energy they contained and/or produced. This was the reason many demons ate their own kind; it was arguably the quickest way to gain immense power, though also the most dangerous.

However, Nightmare didn't really know what would happen if Kyuubi were to eat him. Sure, she was immeasurably more powerful than him, but Nightmare was a demon that dealt specifically with souls. Could he even be assimilated? Or would Kyuubi herself end up being erased from existence? Perhaps their souls would fuse into an entirely new being? Or maybe Nightmare would live on inside Kyuubi's head to annoy her for all eternity? Who knew?

Nightmare didn't, and he sure as hell wasn't in a hurry to find out.

As he left, Kyuubi sat down on the floor in the lotus position. Within seconds, a crimson aura surrounded her and expanded to cover the entire chamber. Healing Naruto's more grievous injuries had never been an easy task. There was always so much that she had to monitor to keep him safe, as her youki could have easily incinerated the boy in the blink of an eye if she wasn't careful. Since he had become a hanyou, things had gotten easier, but he had never been mutilated to this degree before.

Then there was the fact that the youki his body naturally produced was at odds with hers. Instead of assisting her in the healing process, Naruto's youki seemed to be doing its damnedest to keep her from accomplishing anything.

**'Hmph, even his youki doesn't play well with others.'** Kyuubi thought with a bitter chuckle. **"Shizaru...I knew I should've killed you when I had the chance."**

(Shizaru's Room)

After Shizaru had given the name of the game, Naruto just sat there, staring at him silently.

"..."

_**"..."**_ and Shizaru stared right back.

"..."

_**"..."**_

"...If you break out a deck of cards, I'm going to shove your arm down your throat." Naruto deadpanned.

Having not expected that reply, Shizaru had to stifle a chuckle.

_**"Not **_**that**_** kind of 'War'. Besides, I think we've established that you can't even make me swallow my own words, let alone my own arm."**_ Shizaru smirked when his descendant gave only a slight twitch in response. _**"So, you **_**are**_** learning. Wonderful."**_

"Are you going to explain this little game of yours, or are you going to keep antagonizing me and pointing out my inability to do anything about it?"

_**"Hm, you're taking your utter inferiority to me rather well."**_

"Being beaten into mush and cut in half tends to be a sobering experience." Naruto shrugged.

_**"Stabbed. I stabbed you in half." **_Shizaru corrected.

Naruto just yawned.

_**"...Right. Well, this game is really a 'War Simulator', if you will. You see, Hell isn't terribly different to this world, once you get right down to it. With the exception of the First Circle, each level of Hell is divided into sectors; you can think of them as individual countries on the same continent. Each sector has its own 'Grand Ruler', much like the Daimyos here. **_

_**As you know, very few rulers are content with their 'fair share', and always want more. And when that 'more' happens to belong to someone else, who doesn't want to give it up, you know what happens. But, instead of wasting time, power and soldiers on waging a real war, and leaving themselves vulnerable to the next challenger, the Grand Rulers invented this game. Based on the outcome, the players would then weigh their options and decide whether to go ahead with a real war, call a truce, or concede defeat and hand over their sector to the victor."**_

Naruto nodded, liking the sound of the game already. "I take it you're one of these 'Grand Rulers'?"

_**"I used to control the entire Fifth Circle. That is, before the 'new' Lord of Hell, Lucifer, Arcarian's former Right Hand, stripped me of my title when I refused to pledge my loyalty to him." **_Shizaru snorted at the mere thought of "Lue", as he liked to be called, proclaiming himself to be Arcarian's replacement.

It didn't matter if Lucifer was among the first ever created by Arcarian, or that he was second-only to the God of the Void in terms of power. In Shizaru's view, Lucifer had no right to just assume control the way he did.

"Lucifer? That name rings a bell..."

_**"It should. 'Lucifer' may be the name he chose for himself, but it is just one of many names assigned to him. Another popular one was 'Satan'. Contrary to what used to be popular belief, he was not, nor has he ever been, 'The Man' in Hell; but as I said, he was his Right Hand. As such, he was Lord Arcarian's avatar here on Earth. The Gods only show themselves to those they favor, otherwise their avatars do the talking. Of course, these avatars are almost always mistaken for Gods themselves, and they make no effort to correct those they appear before. That being said, Lucifer, in one form or another, is likely the most well-known denizen of Hell, as far as humans are concerned." **_Shizaru didn't appear to be pleased with anything he'd just said. At all(2).

And Naruto picked up on it. "What, does he owe you money or something?"

_**"Or something." **_Shizaru repeated, refusing to elaborate. _**"Let's begin the game, shall we?" **_he then tapped the table lightly with a finger, causing it to give of a dull glow.

A second later, the table was no longer a little three foot wooden square. Instead, Naruto found himself sitting before a massive rectangle, at least twenty feet long, by ten feet wide.

'...A giant flatscreen TV?' Naruto scratched his head in confusion.

_**"This is the battlefield; a special table designed to bring entire armies and environments to life using the memories and thoughts of the participants. Allow me to demonstrate." **_

The table's black surface was suddenly replaced by a three-dimensional replica of a desert, complete with animals, the occasional plant, and even wind.

_**"The 'default' is a bird's-eye view, but you can zoom-in to look at specific areas and monitor individual forces. Of course, you can only see your own armies, conquered territory and unclaimed land. Scout and Spy units can allow you to see enemy positions and even take detailed peeks at enemy activity, but I wouldn't rely on them if I were you."**_ Shizaru explained as the 'sim-table' shifted to show a vast mountain range, complete with clouds, fog and snow.

"You're assuming that I even have an army for this little 'game' of yours. What if I don't?" Naruto swore he could actually _feel_ the look Shizaru was giving him.

_**"I shouldn't have to remind you that I can look through your memories at will. I know you've got an army; one you gathered for reasons you can't even decide upon. As of now, you're just doing it just to do it, so I'm going to save you some trouble and put that army of yours to use." **_though Naruto couldn't see it, Shizaru had already put his own army out on the field. _**"The Elemental Nations will be the battleground, and as with real war, you must do whatever is necessary to win. If that means annihilating the inhabitants of a village to use it as a stronghold, then so be it. Scruples have no place here."**_

"...Fine." Naruto said with a frown. "How do I summon my army?"

_**"Normally, there'd be a special orb in front of you that would draw on your memories to create your army. But, since, we're already in your head, all you need to do is think, and the table will do the rest."**_

"I don't have a choice in all this, do I?"

_**"..."**_

"Right...Fuck."

(Zombie Brothers' Hideout)

Exiting the portal brought on a sense of vertigo that caused Kakuzu to stumble slightly, but he quickly regained his footing and shook his head slightly.

'Never again.' he thought as he stuck Hidan's scythe into the cave wall and dumped its owner on the ground.

Giving the fellow "immortal" a quick once-over, Kakuzu noted that he looked quite dead. He wasn't breathing, he had no heartbeat, his skin was pale and his lips were blue. He'd clearly been asphyxiated, most likely drowned. That raised several questions, key among them: "How?"

'Perhaps the Nine-Tails Jinchuuriki has a Water affinity...' Kakuzu rubbed his chin as his "inner detective" went to work. 'That would explain how he'd be able to hold Hidan under long enough to drown him. It would also explain how he was able to use an attack as powerful as the Water Dragon Projectile at such a young age.' but that opened up a new question, 'But if he has a Water affinity, why didn't he use more water-based attacks?'

While the village wasn't known for it, Konoha did have a decent array of Water techniques in its collective arsenal. Most of them were stolen from Kiri during the Shinobi Wars, but they had some original ones as well. In fact, one of the most famous "Water Wielders" in history was Konoha's Nidaime Hokage, a man that Kakuzu had some personal experience with. That man had a considerable number of techniques, suitable for anything from watering a garden, to drowning an entire city. All of those techniques were sitting in Konoha's technique vaults, and logic would dictate that those with strong Water affinities be first in line to learn them.

Then again, based on the typical treatment of demon vessels, logic would dictate that the village wouldn't let the boy anywhere near the techniques of their Kages.

'But this kid obviously has power, and gets along with their current Hokage well enough for the man to trust him with his life. Based on that, the Jinchuuriki would have those techniques regardless of social status or public opinion.' Kakuzu sat down on a nearby rock and continued to think, going through and discarding one theory after another.

This went on for a good five minutes before he'd had enough of racking his own brain for answers, and decided to get the info from a firsthand source.

Getting up from his rock, Kakuzu walked over to Hidan, lifted his right leg, then brought his foot down on the cultist's chest with bone-crushing force.

Copious amounts of water were suddenly and harshly expelled from Hidan's lungs, along with a bit of blood, but he didn't awaken.

'Goddamn it!' Kakuzu mentally cursed.

Hidan had been drowned before, several times actually, during his relatively short time as Kakuzu's partner. This usually happened when a fight was taken to the surface of a large body of water and something heavy fell on the Jashinist, pinning him to the bottom. Once his carcass was dragged from the water, it wasn't enough to just get the liquid out of his lungs. His heart needed to be "jumpstarted" to get him up and active again, and Kakuzu usually accomplished this with a "mild" electric shock.

But, now that his Lightning heart had been destroyed, he had no way to do that.

'And with that storm outside, I can't even go into Kumo to get a new one.' but at least he had the other organs he needed on-hand.

Kakuzu had taken to keeping replacement organs inside sealing scrolls decades ago. He needed to restock soon, but he still had a trachea and a larynx. However, he only had one lung left, and he needed two.

Had he been able to, Kakuzu would've sighed in frustration as he kneeled down next to Hidan's body. While what he was about to do wouldn't kill his partner, no matter how much he wished it would, it just didn't sit well with Kakuzu. This was a man that he'd grown to hate more than any other, and having said man's internal organs inside of him...Just the mere idea of it was almost enough to make Kakuzu cringe.

Almost.

Hidan wouldn't be happy when he woke up and found that his right lung was gone. It would only get worse when he realized that it was Kakuzu who had taken it. This had happened before, but it pissed Hidan off more than anything else Kakuzu did.

But, as much as the money-obsessed nukenin hated it, he had to admit there was a definite upside to taking Hidan's organs, specifically his lung. Until he was able to perform his "voodoo" ritual, he wouldn't be able to re-grow the organ, and that meant his yelling, screaming and cursing would be kept to a minimum.

'As far as I can tell, the pros outweigh the cons, so...' Kakuzu ripped off his tattered shirt, exposing his patchwork torso. He then sat back with a vicious smirk as hundreds of his signature black threads burst from his body's stitches and proceeded to tear open the chest cavity of his temporarily-deceased partner and extract his right lung.

(Naruto's Mindscape)

Once Naruto had gotten his army set up, he had taken Konoha as his primary base and had added their most powerful shinobi to his own forces. As it turned out, Shizaru hadn't been lying about the simplicity of the game's learning curve. It had only taken Naruto a few minutes to get the hang of manipulating the display, and he was ready to go afterward.

Unfortunately, he had yet to find where Shizaru was situated, and had no interest in expanding his territory until he found the demon's stronghold. Naruto had scattered Hellhound scouts throughout the elemental nations, figuring that Shizaru would end up destroying any that got too close, thus giving away his general position. In the meantime, the scouts were mapping out the area around them as they travelled, giving Naruto a more detailed view of the terrain.

Suddenly, seventeen of his twenty scouts were destroyed within seconds of each other.

"The hell?" Naruto exclaimed. 'The only ones that weren't destroyed were those heading for Nami no Kuni...Does he have me surrounded already?' if that was the case, then the game was as good as lost for the young hanyou.

Across the table, Shizaru chuckled. _**"You think you're the only one who has scouts out and about?"**_

Naruto glared at Shizaru, though the wall that now split the table in half prevented him from actually seeing the demon. However, he gave an inward sigh of relief. If it had been enemy scouts that were responsible, that meant Shizaru's army wasn't in his front yard. But the thought of the enemy already having scouts so close wasn't much better.

_**"In the future, I'd advise not sending out weak scouts in such low numbers. Sure, weaker troops in smaller numbers are less likely to be noticed, but they have virtually no chance to survival should they get into a fight."**_

Naruto snorted, even though he knew the demon was right. Even ANBU never scouted with anything less than a team of three shinobi. Afterall, what use was a scout if it was killed the moment it actually found something? Well, in this game, they actually were quite useful even in death. Before they died, the Hellhounds had allowed Naruto a glimpse of one of Shizaru's troops.

Activating the table's "screen-in-screen" function, Naruto was about to pull up a picture of the beast. It appeared to be a purple and black mass formed into the shape of a horse-sized cat, armed with massively overgrown canine teeth and featuring two glowing crimson orbs for eyes. While it did have legs, its feet seemed to have been connected to the ground(3).

'No, not the ground...its shadow.' Naruto concluded.

_**"They're called 'Specters'; my own personal creations. As you've likely noticed, they are Darkness constructs, and aren't terribly different from Darkness Clones. And, just like Darkness Clones, they may be little more than footsoldiers, but they are not to be taken lightly."**_ Shizaru explained.

"...And you told me that, why?"

_**"An uninformed opponent is an easily beaten opponent. An easily beaten opponent is a boring opponent." **_Shizaru said in a manner that would cause some to mistake him for a Nara. _**"I didn't come here to waste my time by mercilessly destroying you; been there, done that."**_

"Asshole." Naruto growled, then sent out more Hellhound scouts, this time in groups of four. However, they weren't alone, as he also sent each group out with ten Slayers, travelling underground to go unnoticed. 'Let's see how he likes this.'

(With Yugito)

It wasn't until a good few minutes after she'd stormed away from the demon that Yugito realized she had no idea what she was going to do. At first she'd planned to go back to the tunnel that she and Naruto had fallen into and leave the same way she came. The rain would've taken care of the chakra-nullifying seal tags that lined the hole, so climbing back through it wouldn't have been a difficult task.

But the rain was the exact reason why the hole was no longer an option. Even if she did get out, there was a storm raging on the surface, and taking Naruto out in it was no better than killing him herself. Even with her powerful Lightning affinity and the natural enhancements granted by her status as a Jinchuuriki, Yugito didn't go outside during storms. While it had been proven that lightning bolts wouldn't kill her, they would surely knock her out cold. If that happened, Naruto was as good as dead, if he wasn't already.

"Dammit!" Yugito hissed. "Can't go outside, can't stay in here; what the fuck else is there?" when she was answered by silence, she turned back to give her clones the evil eye.

"What?" Clone One rose an eyebrow. "Did you expect us to have an idea?"

"You know that we're technically you, right?" Clone Two chortled. "If you don't know what to do, then neither do we by default."

"...A lot of help you two are." Yugito grumbled to herself, though both clones caught it.

"Hey, we're already doing the heavy lifting for you!" Clone One huffed.

"Yeah, don't tell me we gotta think for you, too!" Clone Two said, cheeks puffed out in an indignant pout.

Yugito let out a low growl. This was why she didn't like using Shadow Clones for anything outside of fighting. Out of all the types of clones in the world, Shadow Clones were the only ones that were known to have minds of their own on a regular basis. Sure, with every type of clone you got an "oddball" once in a while. But with Shadow Clones it was a common occurrence, sometimes to the point where it was rare to get a clone that _didn't_ have it's own personality and attitude(4).

"Tch, figures. When I just want you to shut up and do your job, you guys have always got something to say. But when I could actually use some input, you decide to clam up. If you wanna be that way, then fine, but I don't expect to hear another goddamn word out of either of you. Clear?"

The two clones just nodded, obviously terrified, even though there was virtually nothing Yugito could really do to them. Sure, she could dispel them, but they didn't feel pain, and they'd be back the very next time she summoned Shadow Clones.

After one final warning glare, Yugito went back to thinking up a solution to her current problem. Then, not even ten seconds later, it her like a brick to the face.

The water management facility! She had friends there, once of which was an accomplished field medic, and they could ride out the storm there. Hopefully the storm wouldn't last very long and Yugito would be able to contact the Raikage to get Naruto into a proper hospital. Hopefully, Kyuubi would be able to handle things by herself in the meantime.

Without a word, Yugito suddenly dashed down a side tunnel. Her clones followed immediately, for once obeying her orders to shut up and do their jobs. As Clone Two pointed out, they were Yugito, and despite their differing personalities, they all shared the same memories and emotions. The clones' desire to keep Naruto alive was just as strong as their creator's, and if she had a plan, who were they to argue?

(Naruto's Mindscape)

"Dammit!" Naruto growled as yet another Slayer Captain's life-bar dwindled to nothing and it was removed from the battlefield.

Just minutes ago, he had decided to take over Nami no Kuni, since that was just about the only place he hadn't found any of Shizaru's scouting parties. However, by the time his forces, under the leadership of his female clone Akiko, had arrived at the country's border at the same moment as a rather large band of Shizaru's "Specters".

Of course, a battle broke out, but Naruto's forces seemed to have the advantage. It had only taken two minutes to destroy thirty of the fifty Specters, while Akiko's party had lost half of her party. Fortunately, it had been the weaker half. She was now left with four Slayer Captains, fourteen normal Slayers, and two Hellhounds, all of which still had full life-bars. Then, in a single brilliant flash, Akiko destroyed the remaining Specters with a particularly powerful Fire Dragon Missile.

But, just as Naruto was about to pat himself on the back, enemy reinforcements arrived. There were only two of them, but they were enough to decimate Akiko's ranks and force Naruto to send out his own reinforcements.

He had no idea what these things were; he'd never seen anything even remotely like them. Standing at least twelve feet in height, these things appeared to be made out of solid muscle. Heads that looked vaguely like deformed human skulls, supported by massive necks that were all but fused into their shoulders. Arms larger than Naruto's entire body gave them the strength to crush even Slayer Captains into pulp. These were connected to huge torsos at least six feet across and packed with grotesquely bulging muscles. Powerful digitigrade legs with oddly-shaped, almost elephant-like feet gave the monsters terrible speed by any measure, judging from how quickly they had descended upon Akiko and her troops(5).

The whole package was wrapped in pale grey skin that looked to be stretched almost to the point of tearing. All in all, these behemoths were terrifying things to behold, and they were about to squash Akiko like an insect.

_**"Marvelous creatures, aren't they?" **_Shizaru chuckled. _**"Demolishers are quite popular in Hell, the Underworld**_(6)_**, and even your world. Not only do they make excellent for excellent heavy infantry, they're highly valued by those in the smithing trade. Their bones are actually made of an incredibly strong metal that's often melted down and used to make especially durable weapons and armor. I believe the armor your mother uses is made of a metal composite featuring melted Demolisher bones."**_

"How do you know that?"

_**"I know quite a lot about Kushina Uzumaki. Anywho, while their skin offers them no protection at all, Demolishers' muscles double as formidable armor. In fact, even I have trouble running them through sometimes. However, once you find their weakness, they're hardly a challenge."**_

Naruto had processed all that information, but only one thing really stood out.

"Just how much do you know about that bitch?" he demanded.

_**"Tsk, tsk, youngling, you know the rules. You have to pass a test to get answers. Tell you what; anytime you defeat my forces in a battle, I will answer one of your questions. How's that?"**_

"...How generous of you." Naruto scowled.

_**"You could very well die within the next few hours, so this is the least I could do. Quite literally." **_

Though he couldn't see Shizaru, Naruto could practically _feel_ the demon's smug smirk. Looking back at the battlefield, Naruto was relieved to find that Akiko had retreated, along with her remaining two Slayer Captains, and was currently heading back towards Konoha. Of course, the Demolishers were hot on their heels, mowing down trees like they were nothing and leaving two straight swaths of devastation in their wake. At this rate, Akiko would reach Naruto's reinforcement unit in less than five minutes.

'Brood in impotent rage later. Right now, I've got to figure out how to kill these things.' if he didn't figure it out, his reinforcements would meet the same fate as Akiko's troops once the Demolishers got to them.

(Uzu no Kuni - Uzumaki Compound - Training Field)

A loud "crack" resounded through the training field, and less than a second later the only female Uzumaki child found herself nearly embedded in the side of a cliff.

"You're going to have to do better than that, Nee-san." Kuishiro taunted as he stood in the middle of the field, electricity crackling all over his body.

Kagimi smirked and her fully-matured Sharingan flared to life once more. "So, you finally got your 'Chishi Miwaku' to do more than just attract(7)?"

"Yep. It can repel now, too. That means your sword, and all of your kunai, shuriken, senbon and gyorai are useless against me(8)." Kuishiro said, feeling quite proud of himself.

"Oh dear, it looks like I can't use any steel. What ever will I do now?" Kagimi wailed overdramatically, then suddenly exhaled a massive fireball at her brother.

Kuishiro simply grunted in frustration before vanishing into thin air just before the fireball struck.

Kagimi frowned, then vanished as well. Milliseconds later, the telltale sound of metal on metal echoed throughout the field.

Moving at speeds imperceptible to most human eyes, the positions of the two combatants were given away only by the small flash of sparks generated when their blades met.

"Ah, so you can't move and maintain your field at the same time." Kagimi said as they finally stopped in the center of the field, blades locked and grinding against one another. "Gotta say, Nii-san, your Chishi Miwaku doesn't have a lot going for it."

"Maybe not at the moment." Kuishiro replied, obviously straining to hold his ground against his deceptively dainty sister. "But I will perfect it soon enough, then you'll be eating the dirt along with your words."

Kagimi just smirked. "Isn't that what you said when you began your sword training?" she suddenly shoved her brother back, then delivered a solid thrust kick to his chest before he could recover, cracking the ceramic armor plating.

Kuishiro grimaced as he slid back along the ground. He barely felt the kick, but he noticed that the blade of his rapier had cracked.

'Worthless piece of junk.' sure, blades of this type weren't meant to go toe-to-toe with heavier, sturdier swords, but still...

Even from a distance of nearly thirty feet, Kagimi's eyes easily spotted the crack about eight inches above the rapier's hilt.

"You should know better than to go against me with a sword, Nii-san." the half-Uchiha said, pointing her own practice sword at the boy. "You may be faster than me, but your blade skills don't match up to mine."

Instead of taking offense to the remark, Kuishiro agreed wholeheartedly. "Of course not. Mother is your Kenjutsu instructor; I have to settle for some reject from Kiri!" he tossed the sword to the ground, where it broke in two upon impact.

"You're the one who chose to use a rapier, a weapon that few people in this day and age have any experience with. Sure, Ishimura-sensei didn't make it into the Seven Swordsmen, but even mother recognizes him as an excellent swordsman."

Indeed, Kaiba Ishimura was an exceptional swordsman. From the time he was strong enough to hold a blade, he had trained constantly to accomplish a single goal: to be one of the Seven Swordsmen of the Mist. Being such a respected, feared and powerful group, it was understandable that not just anyone would be allowed to join. To date, members were only accepted after doing one of two things. Either they waited for a vacancy in their ranks and passed the tests set up by the remaining members; or they killed an existing member and presented his/her sword to the others.

Kaiba revered the Seven far too much to even think about killing one of them, so he simply waited and honed his skills even further. Then his prayers were answered when Zabuza Momochi went rogue and a spot opened up. Out of the six tests, Kaiba passed five with flying colors. But his hopes were dashed when he came up against Kisame Hoshigaki, Kirigakure's monster in semi-human skin. Of course, the man wanted to fight.

This was usually where the hopefuls failed. The objective wasn't to win, but simply to survive, and most didn't. Kaiba lasted all of two minutes before his rapier broke. He had gone for a thrust aimed directly at the blue-skinned man's heart, but had severely underestimated his quickness. Kisame brought his Samehada up to defend, and the rapier, no matter how sharp its tip, had no hope of penetrating it. The thin, flexible blade bent almost like it was made of rubber, then snapped like a twig, leaving Kaiba unarmed and defeated.

Despite his impressive skill, it was Kaiba's "flimsy" weapon and lack of a back-up that caused him to fail. And no matter the circumstances, that failure made him weak in Kuishiro's eyes.

"Not good enough to stand against mother. As far as I'm concerned, if he's not good enough to at least face mother on equal ground with a blade, then he is not good enough to prepare me to face you on equal ground."

For a moment, Kagimi's expression softened and she flashed her brother a genuine smile. "I'm flattered that you think so highly of me, Nii-san, but you just might surpass me once your True Blades are finished."

"I doubt it." Kuishiro snorted, then activated his Chishi Miwaku again. "Shall we continue?"

Kagimi nodded, then suddenly dashed over to the armory shed at the edge of the field closest to the mansion.

"I know you can repel kunai, gyorai and all that stuff without much difficulty." Kagimi said as she rummaged around in the shed, careful not to knock anything over or accidentally loose a finger amongst the plethora of lethal objects. "But how about something with a bit more weight to it?"

"What do you have in mind?" he tried to sound confident, but Kuishiro was quite worried.

Just like everyone else, he knew that his sister was batshit crazy; and that was being polite. When she said something with a "bit" more weight than a kunai, she could've very well been thinking of a three-hundred pound zanbatō.

Fortunately, that didn't appear to be the case, as whatever Kagimi had decided upon was small enough to hide behind her back. But that disarming smile of hers did nothing to ease Kuishiro's apprehension.

"This." Kagimi's eyes seemed to glow in anticipation as she revealed a massive windmill shuriken.

Holding it up with two fingers through the center ring, she pumped a miniscule amount of chakra into it. The weapon's four blades slid out along the ring, locking into place once they went over a set of special grooves(9).

'Shit.' Kuishiro mentally swore. He knew he couldn't repel something like that.

Earlier in their spar, Kagimi had thrown her practice longsword at him as if it were a giant kunai, and it had taken all of Kuishiro's concentration just to stop the thing. Not only was the windmill shuriken heavier than the sword, it would likely be traveling a good deal faster as well.

"Ready?" Kagimi asked as she began to spin the intimidating projectile.

"If I said 'no', would you still throw it?"

Kagimi's only response was a manic grin as her shuriken picked up speed, creating a localized whirlwind.

"Dumb question. Alright, bring it on!" bolts of electricity arced all around Kuishiro's body and for a split second the powerful electromagnetic field around him became visible as a dome spreading out about ten feet in every direction.

Quicker than any normal eye could see, Kagimi rotated her entire body two times to gain momentum, like a discus thrower, then flung the huge modified shuriken with all her might. The weapon flew through the air at over five-hundred miles an hour, kicking up a large dust cloud in its wake. At these speeds, windmill shuriken produced an almost painful shriek that gave them the "affectionate" nickname "Screaming Meanies"(10).

However, just as it cleared three-fourths of the distance between the siblings, a feminine hand slipped through the center ring and stopped the shuriken's forward progress, though it continued to spin.

"I think that'll be enough for now." Kushina said, pumping chakra into the shuriken to stop the rotation and lock the blades back in their original positions. "Come, lunch is ready." she then turned and walked towards the compound.

Kagimi and Kuishiro immediately fell into step behind their mother, both silently wondering if she had been watching them the whole time. Both hoping that she was pleased with the progress they had made.

"Kui-chan..." Kushina called.

"Yes, mother?" the white-haired youth instantly snapped to attention, though didn't break his stride.

"Are you really so upset about Kaiba-kun being your sensei?" to anyone else, there would've been nothing out of the ordinary about Kushina's question. But anyone who really knew her could pick out the slight edge in her tone.

Kaiba was actually a close friend of Kushina's, and had even served as a surrogate father to the triplets for the first four and a half years of their lives. Then he had gone back to Kiri because of the Bloodline Purge. He had many friends back in Kiri, some of them informants, who possessed Kekkei Genkai, and he wanted to get them out of the country. Somewhere along the line, he had been drawn into the civil war that had broken out between the surviving Bloodline users and the Bloodline Extermination Corps.

He had returned to Uzu no Kuni only three months ago, after a major victory on the part of the Resistance granted them control of most of Kirigakure. The Yondaime Mizukage was now in hiding, along with what remained of the BEC, and though some thought that meant the end of the war, most knew better. Even so, Kaiba had been allowed to leave, though he promised to return if/when the Mizukage resurfaced.

Kushina herself loved the man like a brother. Though, if certain circumstances in her life had been different, he would've been much more. That being said, she didn't take kindly to anyone speaking ill of him. Not even her own children.

Kuishiro gulped and noticed that Kagimi had increased the distance between them.

"N-No, mother, I...It's just that he doesn't match up to you..." he trailed off, directing his eyes towards the ground.

"Overall, no, he doesn't. However, if I were to pick up a rapier and challenge him right now, I wouldn't have a snowball's chance in Suna." Kushina said, without even a hint of sarcasm.

"..." not wanting to call his mother a liar, but not seeing any other choice, Kuishiro kept silent.

"There's a reason he is training you in Kenjutsu. You chose the rapier as your weapon, and I have no experience or skill with that particular blade. Kaiba, on the other hand, has been using one for most of his life. There's only one person better than him, and she lives in Iron Country; you know we're not welcome there."

"I'm sorry, mother, but I don't see how he could ever defeat you."

"Then you will never defeat your sister." Kushina didn't say another word, leaving her most quick-tempered child to think about her words.

Whereas most siblings would have taken the opportunity to gloat, Kagimi only smiled apologetically to her brother and gave him a soft pat on the back. She always saw herself and her brothers as equals, and hated being put on any kind of pedestal over them. They were supposed to be training to overcome the demon, not each other.

However, her brothers, Kuishiro at least, didn't see it that way. Of the three, Kagimi had taken after Kushina the most, even using the same type of blade as her mother. This resulted in much of Kagimi's training being handled by Kushina personally. As Kuishiro had voiced before, if Kagimi had a stronger sensei than her brothers, it was only logical that she'd be stronger than them.

Whether or not this was true was anyone's guess. In terms of sparring victories, Kagimi and Kuishiro had been dead even for years, now tied at one-thousand four-hundred and fifty-nine each. Houshima was actually in the lead, with one-thousand five-hundred and seventy-three victories to his name, mostly against Kuishiro.

Speaking of the eternally-aloof boy, he was currently sitting in the dining hall waiting for the rest of his family. While they were allowed to eat like pigs in most places, most of the time, Kushina had made it quite clear that everyone was to follow proper etiquette at home.

Houshima wasn't really sure if wearing training gear at the table was proper etiquette, but his mother allowed it anyway. Like his siblings, Houshima never trained with his actual battlesuit, not wanting to risk it being damaged in a mere spar. Instead, the triplets wore black, form-fitting jackets, pants and knee-high boots. Like their practice weapons, their training armor left much to be desired compared to their actual battle attire, but it was functional and, if you asked them, looked pretty cool.

A cuirass to protect their torsos, vambraces for their arms and elbows, and greaves for their shins and knees. All of it was made of a lightweight, but very strong, ceramic composite, and given a glossy black finish that led to Kagimi calling the training gear "bug suits"(11).

Looking at the armor, Houshima found that it did somewhat remind him of an ant or a beetle. He also noticed a crack in his right vambrace.

'Well, it seems I owe Watanabe-san an apology.' Houshima thought.

Like Kuishiro, Houshima had chosen a weapon that his mother had no experience with. Also like Kuishiro, his chosen weapon was very uncommon in the world of ninjas, and people with any skill in wielding it were even more rare.

While Kushina didn't have any personal experience with a scythe, she had seen a nuke-nin wield one during her brief time as a freelance Hunter. Unfortunately, she had killed him, so he wouldn't be any help. But she saw that how he used his scythe was very similar to how one would use a Bō, and she just so happened to know a former Iwagakure shinobi who was an expert in Bōjutsu: Keitaro Watanabe.

When she contacted him to help train Houshima, he had readily agreed, on the condition that he could bring his son along as well.

While not up to his father's level, Daiki Watanabe wasn't someone to write off. During their latest spar, he had tested Houshima's defensive capabilities in an exercise were he could only stand within a small circle drawn on the ground, and could only block using his staff. After a flurry of over four-hundred strikes, Daiki ended his assault and smirked, saying he had landed a hit.

Having not felt anything, Houshima contested that statement. Daiki said he'd hit Houshima's right forearm, but without any evidence, it was forgotten about and their training resumed.

Apparently, the armor's glossy finish made the crack all but invisible in the sunlight. But now that he was indoors, Houshima could see it clearly and acknowledged that he had been wrong.

"Hello, Kagimi-nee-san." Houshima greeted as he sensed his sister trying to sneak up behind him.

"How?" Kagimi fumed. If she really wanted to, she could sneak up on Kushina herself! So how did her brother always manage to catch her?

"You can hide your chakra all you like, Nee-san; but you can't hide your soul."

"Bah, no fair!" Kagimi plopped down in her seat at Houshima's right and proceeded to pout to her heart's content.

Kuishiro walked in just after Kagimi and glanced at the crack in his brother's armor.

"Ah, so he got you today." Kuishiro smirked and took his seat to the right of his sister.

"And Nee-san got you." Houshima said, gesturing to the large, foot-shaped indentation in the center of Kuishiro's cuirass.

"She got lucky."

"You got careless." Kagimi retorted, still pouting.

"It won't happen again." Kuishiro vowed.

"Yes, it will." Houshima said with a slight smirk.

"Bah." Kuishiro grunted, then proceeded to silently brood about what he perceived as a loss to his siblings. Kagimi had walked away with no more than a shallow cut across her cuirass, and Houshima with only a cracked vambrace. 'But I look like I took a cannonball to the chest...'

"...You know," Houshima started, after taking a few seconds to observe his brother, "you take yourself way too seriously."

Kagimi slapped a hand over her mouth to keep from laughing out loud, and Kuishiro just shot his brother a glare that lacked any real malice.

(Naruto's Mindscape)

"HAH!" Naruto yelled. "In your face!" he had finally discovered the Demolishers' weakness and, like Shizaru had said, they were quite easy to get rid of afterward.

Turned out that their bones weren't the only things metallic about them. Even their muscles behaved like a sort of highly flexible, yet incredibly strong metal. And while this gave them an almost impenetrable defense, it was also the key to defeating them. Just like metal, their muscles became soft and malleable when heated to a certain temperature. While superheated, they were sitting ducks; unable to move and easily hacked into pieces.

_**"Congratulations, you just killed two Demolisher demons!" **_Shizaru could be heard clapping from the other side of the wall. _**"If you manage to do the same to the other one-thousand nine-hundred and ninety-eight in my ranks, that could be cause for concern."**_

"All in good time. I do believe you have to answer a question now."

_**"I suppose so. What would you like to know?"**_

"I want to know what you know."

_**"You'll have to be more specific."**_

"What do you know about the bitch that spawned me?" Naruto growled at the mere thought of her.

_**"I know a lot; almost everything, really. I know that she thought your father was a weakling when she first met him. I know that her perception changed when he risked his life to save her, showing her that someone in the world actually gave a damn about her. I know that your father never told her what he was planning to do with you on the night of Kyuubi's assault on Konoha; he only said he was sorry for leaving her to raise you alone. I know that Kushina was an absolute wreck after that, and that only the thought of you, her son, kept her going.**_

_**I know that she had a nervous breakdown when she was given the full story. I know that she stayed in Konoha for a week afterward, recovering from the stress of childbirth. I know that she tried to kill you four times in that period, but couldn't bring herself to go through with it. I know that she left Konoha before she was completely healed, all because she was afraid of what she would do to you if she stayed any longer. I know that she was ambushed by Uchiha Fugaku, dragged into a cave and raped several times.**_

_**I know that, after the Uchiha left, an allied Iwa and Kumo scouting party found her while taking refuge from a violent storm. I know that all eight of them had multiple turns with her. I know that one of the men happened to be the disgraced brother of the current Raikage. I know that Kushina's mind was shattered that night. I know that she unlocked the third stage of the Uzumaki Bloodline, and used it to kill her assailants.**_

_**I know that she ended up pregnant with triplets. I know that each one shared DNA of three of her rapists. I know that all of her friends advised her to abort the children. I know that she kept them. I know they see her almost like a God for allowing them to live even though she had every reason not to. I know that she has tried to assassinate you sixty-eight times, mostly during your younger years. I know that she has been training her children for nearly a decade. I know she plans to exploit a loophole in Konoha's laws that will allow her to kill you legally. I know she will be entering her children into the **__**Chūnin**__** Exams, and that she will be coming with them. I know that they will do everything in their considerable power to destroy you."**_

"...That's it?" Naruto said, trying his best to sound unmoved.

_**"'That's it'? My, such remorseless words, especially considering that her entire situation is the result of an act of unconditional love for you."**_

"...Right. You're crazier than she is."

_**"But not as crazy as you." **_Shizaru chuckled. _**"She left Konoha because she didn't want to hurt you. She loved you with all her heart...She still does, actually."**_

"...Medication wearing off?"

_**"Joke all you want, but that doesn't change the facts, youngling. She loves you more than the children she's been raising all these years. She loves you so much, that she's willing to sacrifice herself, and them, just to free your soul from Kyuubi's evil clutches." **_Shizaru outright laughed at this. _**"She loves her little Naruto more than anything on this planet...But good luck trying to convince her that you ARE Naruto."**_

"Hmm...It would be easier just to kill her, right? Well, I don't like taking the easy way out, but I think I can make an exception in this case."

_**"So, you're going to kill a person in the same situation as you in cold blood. And here I thought you hated hypocrisy."**_

"She is nothing like me, and I am nothing like her. Are you going to keep babbling, or can we get back to the game now?" Naruto growled.

Shizaru ignored his second sentence. _**"Oh, but you two are far more alike than either of you realize. In a single night, she lost everyone that she ever loved. On another night, she was raped and left for dead. On that same night, everything that she was, was broken, and when the pieces were put back together, she was a different person. Since then, she has been training and gathering allies in a selfless quest to kill one person. She has lived a very hard life, and now she's insane for reasons completely out of her control. Sound familiar? It should.**_

_**In a single night, you lost the only real "friend" you ever had. On that same night, you were broken, and pieced back together as a new person. On another night, you were raped and left for dead. Since 'The Incident', you've been training your ass off, but for what? You've started gathering allies, and even an entire army, but for what? You have no plans of world domination, or overthrowing the Hokage, or starting your own village. As of this moment, you only have one goal in your life: hunt down and destroy the man known as Orochimaru. But what are your reasons behind this goal? You don't have any; your goals are Kyuubi's goals. And we come to the penultimate parallel: the selfless quest to kill one person. **_

_**She wants to kill you, not because she personally hates you, or because of anything you've done to her. The only reason she wants you dead is so her son's soul will be free to pass on. You want to kill Orochimaru, not because he's single-handedly responsible for the event that led to your life of torment, or because he likes to touch little boys. You want him to pay for the suffering that he's put Kyuubi through, and even what he's done to the snake woman that you're so fond of." **_Shizaru finished, chuckling once more as he could literally feel Naruto's festering rage. _**"And let's not forget; you have lived a very hard life and now you are completely and utterly insane, for reasons beyond your control."**_

"..." unable to think of a retort, Naruto remained silent and sent a company of a hundred and fifty troops to Nami no Kuni to set up a base.

(Kumogakure - Raikage's Office)

"I've seen some pretty nasty storms in my day, but this..." Sarutobi let out a low whistle as he watched lightning bolts dance across the sky and random debris fly by the windows.

"That's the usual reaction." Kyuuzou said, taking a puff from his pipe. People almost always underestimated the severity of Kumogakure thunderstorms.

It was the same with every hidden village, really. People who had never been to Konoha never believed the horror stories surrounding their Forest of Death.

People who'd never been to Suna didn't believe that a mere sandstorm could tear away skin and flesh within minutes.

People who'd never been to Kiri didn't believe that, in some areas, it was necessary to wear breathing masks just to walk outside, due to the concentration of water vapor being higher than breathable air.

People who'd never been to Iwa didn't believe the stories about thirty-foot long worms that popped up out of the ground to swallow people whole(12).

And people who'd never been to Kumo didn't believe that a simple thunderstorm could put an entire shinobi village under lockdown.

But when people travelled to these places, they were quickly, and often painfully, educated.

"When we get new people in town, merchants and the like, none of them believe the stories they've been told." Kyuuzou smirked. "It doesn't really sink in until they see someone get struck by lightning, or a tree comes crashing through the wall of their hotel room."

"Any clue as to why storms are so frequent and intense around her?" Sarutobi asked. "I mean, it has to be something beyond simple weather patterns."

Kyuuzou sat silently for a moment, looking out of the windows.

"...Was that a food cart?" Sarutobi asked as...something flew by.

"Looked like it. Oh well, we have shelters for those kinds of things." the Raikage then turned to face the older man. "Tell me, are you familiar with the legends about Raiden, the Lightning God?"

"Not particularly, though I've heard some tales in my younger years." Sarutobi answered. "What, are you saying that he's responsible for the storms?"

"Not directly, no. You see, ever since the Nibi fiasco, I've been doing a ton of research on the Bijū, and I've found some very interesting things. The one I found the most intriguing was the fact that, around three-thousand years ago, the Rokubi seemed to have vanished. While stories about the other demons were still being told left and right, not a single new story featuring the Rokubi had been told until about a thousand years ago, when a new Rokubi appeared."

"Wait...so Bijū can be _replaced_?" as absurd as that sounded, Sarutobi knew better than to rule out the possibility.

"Apparently. The original Rokubi was depicted as a six-tailed weasel, a Kamaitachi. This new one, based on the drawings I've seen, is a gigantic bird with wings made of clouds and six tail feathers longer than its entire body." Kyuuzou opened a drawer in his desk and pulled out a white folder containing several drawings and descriptions of the creature, and even a couple of possible photographs.

As Sarutobi flipped through them, he noticed something oddly familiar about the demon's profile.

"Hmm...Call me senile, but this demon looks like a phoenix."

"Ah, so you see it, too." Kyuuzou chuckled. "That brings me back to Raiden, and his demonic counterpart Raijin(13). As you probably know, the two are bitter enemies, and their battles have been documented time and again for thousands of years. Of course, you'd know them as mere legends, but I call them 'documents' because I believe them to be true. Anyway, during their last battle, Raijin struck down a phoenix with an attack meant for Raiden. For this, his body was obliterated and his soul was banished back to Hell.

Now, as you know, when a phoenix dies, it's only a matter of time before it comes back. Unfortunately, Raijin's attack had left a permanent taint on the phoenix's very soul, and it was reborn as a lightning demon with power rivaling Raijin himself." Kyuuzou handed Sarutobi another folder, this one covering the "legend" in more detail.

After two minutes of reading, Sarutobi let out a sigh and sat the folder back on the desk.

"It says all that happened eleven-hundred years ago."

Kyuuzou nodded enthusiastically. "Around the same time the first story featuring the new Rokubi was written."

"...So you think that a phoenix-turned-Bijū is behind _that_?" Sarutobi gestured towards the window just as a rather large tree branch flew by.

"Is it so farfetched? Haven't you heard of stranger things? Haven't you _seen_ stranger things?"'I know I have...' the Raikage thought, remembering exactly what had happened eighteen years ago.

"Well, according to Sunagakure had to say about the Ichibi, it created violent sandstorms whenever it was angry." Sarutobi said, recalling what the Kazekage had told him when they last met.

"And if I were a majestic phoenix, and got struck by a giant bolt of lightning while minding my own business, and was turned into a demon, I'd be pretty pissed." Kyuuzou nodded to himself.

To be a phoenix was to be one of the most beloved and respected creatures on the planet. To be a Bijū was to be one of the most feared and hated creatures on the planet. Not exactly a fair trade-off.

"Right...So, you've got the Nibi AND the Rokubi in this country." Sarutobi chuckled a bit. "Can't say that I envy you."

Kyuuzou shook his head. "That's another thing. During my research, I never found anything about the Nibi being in Lightning Country, or even near it. I've been through nearly four-thousand years of history, but only Fire Country and Earth Country have any legends involving the Nibi specifically. As far as I know, that blasted cat has never been spotted, or at least documented, anywhere within Kaminari no Kuni's borders. So I have absolutely no idea what it was doing here on that night."

"Believe me when I tell you that just because something hasn't happened before, doesn't mean it won't ever happen." the older male let out a bitter scoff, exhaling a plume of smoke. "There was never any documentation of the Kyuubi ever attacking a human settlement, anywhere."

"I know. In fact, of all the Bijū, only the Ichibi and the Hachibi have extensive histories of unprovoked attacks and random rampages." Kyuuzou reached into another drawer and pulled out yet another folder, filled with all the information he'd managed to gather on all nine Bijū over the last eighteen years.

But, before he could even pick the folder up, Raibu, the Raikage's best friend and personal advisor/guard, barreled through the door.

"I apologies for interrupting," Raibu panted, obviously distressed, "but we've got a problem. A big one."

"Hm? Are we under attack?" as soon as he said it, Kyuuzou felt stupid. Just walking outside right now amounted to suicide; forget trying to take over a major ninja village.

"Not exactly. We just received a call from the water management facility; Yugito needs a medical team ASAP."

The Raikage shot out of his chair faster than even Sarutobi could follow, unrestrained rage twisting his features into a menacing snarl.

"Details..." the command came in the form of a forceful growl as electricity crackled over ever inch of Kyuuzou's body.

"S-Sir, according to what we were told...It was Akatsuki. And the medic team wasn't requested for her, but BY her." Raibu turned to the Hokage. "Apparently, your Hunter helped her fight them off, and paid for it. He's in critical condition now, and the infirmary at the facility isn't sufficient for proper care."

"Akatsuki?" Kyuuzou blinked, his anger forgotten. "I thought you said they wouldn't move on the Jinchuuriki for at least another three years?"

"According to Jiraiya's spy network. As impressive as it is, there is one network greater than Jiraiya's, and that's Sasori's. I never ruled out the possibility that the info Jiraiya's spies obtained was simple misdirection, and it appears that was the case." Sarutobi scowled deeply and rose from his seat.

"Where are you going?" Kyuuzou asked as the older man walked towards the office door.

"To tell the rest of my escorts the bad news. Some of them are quite fond of Hunter-san, and are likely to do something rash. They will listen to me, but I doubt some random messenger would be so lucky." that was more than a bit of an understatement. As it was, Kakashi was the only member of the escort team that wasn't a friend of Naruto's on at least some level.

Even Gai, though he and Naruto rarely interacted in public, could be counted as a friend, in a loose sense of the term(14).

"Right, can't have them rushing outside to look for him." Kyuuzou nodded to Sarutobi, then turned back to Raibu once the older Kage had vanished in a plume of smoke. "I don't know what Yugito expects us to do. I can't very well send an entire medical team after one shinobi in this weather; especially not a foreign one."

Raibu nodded in agreement. "Besides, even if we could find a team crazy enough to go willingly, most of them would likely be dead before they even got to the facility."

Kyuuzou fell back onto his chair, releasing a frustrated grunt. "Right you are."

"...Fine time for the Rokubi to throw a hissy fit, eh?" Raibu let out a mirthless chuckle.

The Raikage just let out another grunt before picking up the folders left on his desk and putting them back in their drawers.

Of course, Raibu noticed this. "Hm? You showed him _those_?"

Kyuuzou nodded. "The man knows quite a lot about demons, especially the Bijū. Not surprising when you consider the fact that he trained under a man who could control them. I'm hoping that he might be able to fill in some of the blanks."

"Has he?"

"He confirmed that the Rokubi is, or at least was, a phoenix."

"I thought you already knew that?"

"I suspected, but I didn't know. Afterall, those birds are exceedingly rare anywhere other than Fire Country, so accurate descriptions are pretty hard to come by here. I figured he would know what one looks like better than me." Kyuuzou snickered quietly, finding his logic somewhat ridiculous in hindsight, even though it had been correct.

'Only you.' Raibu thought with a small smirk.

(Raikage Tower - Living Quarters - Common Room)

"Anko, will you please stop pacing? Your footsteps are distracting." Mitara said, not taking his eyes off the cards in his hand.

"Just like I told you five minutes ago, I can't help it!" the purple-haired woman growled. "How can you guys be so damn calm? Naruto; our FRIEND Naruto, is missing, and here you are playing games!"

Indeed, Inaro and Isaro were deeply engrossed in a game of Shogi, while Mitara and Zabuza were playing Go Fish.

"Come on, Anko, this is Naruto we're talking about here." Inaro said as he moved one of his pieces on the board.

"Even if he didn't make it here, I doubt a little storm would do him in." Isaro assured, also moving a piece and smirking behind his mask when his twin let out a displeased grunt.

"...'Little storm'? I was almost hit by a tree! A WHOLE FUCKING TREE!" Anko then turned to Zabuza. "And you! You were almost fried! Twice!"

Mitara chuckled a little. "What do you expect? He carries a lightning rod on his back."

Zabuza just snorted. "Got any fives?"

"Go fish."

"Ass." Zabuza drew a card from the pool, hoping it would be a five, and grumbling when it was a seven of spades.

Anko just stood there in the center of the room, gaping at the four shinobi.

"...Am I really the only one here who's worried about him?" Anko turned to look at Kakashi and Gai, sweatdropping when she saw them playing Connect Four.

"Pretty much." came Kakashi's typically laid-back answer as he waited for Gai to make a move.

Gai gave his "rival" a look that spoke of slight irritation, then dropped one of his red pieces into the column furthest to his right.

If he noticed the look, Kakashi didn't bother showing it. Instead, he dropped one of his black pieces on top of the one Gai has just played.

"Connect Four in three more moves." Kakashi yawned.

With fire in his eyes, Gai slammed a red piece into the plastic case, very nearly breaking it.

"We'll see about that."

Once again, Anko was left gaping in disbelief.

"...And you call yourselves his friends." she grumbled and finally flopped down onto a chair.

"We have faith in Naruto's abilities and his intelligence, that's all. This storm is nothing, he's survived worse." Mitara said. "Got any threes?"

"He survived me; not something many people can say." Zabuza said, handing over two threes to the ANBU Captain. "Bastard."

"Like you said, he's our friend, and we have the utmost confidence in him." Isaro said, the muttered a curse under his breath as his brother managed to counter what he thought had been a game-winning move.

"If anything, it's YOU that's not acting like a friend...In fact, you're acting more like a _girlfriend_..." had Inaro's mask been off, that sentence would've been accompanied by wiggling eyebrows.

"Oooooooh." the ANBU and Zabuza chorus and turned their full attention to the blushing kunoichi.

But, before Anko could protest and/or threaten them with grievous bodily harm, someone stepped in.

"All joking aside, I'm afraid I must side with Mitarashi-san on this." Gai said as he rose from his seat, having been beaten by his "rival" in the predicted three moves.

"Thank you!" Anko huffed.

"While I'm sure he would appreciate your trust in him, that's hardly grounds for a total lack of concern."

"That's what I've been saying!" Anko exclaimed.

"You never said that." Zabuza pointed out. "Sevens?"

"It was implied!" Anko insisted.

"Right, 'implied'." Mitara snickered and handed his single seven to the former nukenin. "Sorry, Anko, but subtlety has never been your thing."

"..." Anko didn't have a counter for that, as a good deal of the reputation she has so carefully crafted for herself was based on being loud, flashy and direct.

"I'm not saying that there's any real cause for alarm, but perhaps we shouldn't be so...casual about this." Gai suggested, trying to get things back on track.

"Well, sitting around worrying isn't going to help, and it's not like there's anything we can actually do about it." Kakashi piped in, eye slowly tracing back and forth over the current page of his pornography.

"How do you know there's nothing we can do if you haven't even bothered to look into it?" Gai countered, shooting the Sharingan-wielder another irritated look.

While he didn't know any intimate details about Kakashi and Naruto's relationship, he didn't understand how anyone could show such blatant disregard for a student and still have the gall to call themselves a sensei. In Gai's mind, it didn't matter if said "student" was possibly stronger than said "sensei".

"And what do you suggest, hm? Should we go outside in the storm, which has all of Kumo locked down and nearly killed us before we got here, searching for a single person? Sorry, I'm not ready to throw my life away just yet." Kakashi flipped the page and continued reading.

"I dunno, Hatake-_sempai_," Mitara started, his words laced with _almost_ imperceptible loathing, "you've got a pretty strong Lightning affinity...You _might_ survive."

"Perhaps." Kakashi shrugged, still not looking away from his book. "But if I had to put myself at risk like that, I'd rather not do it for something that doesn't even need saving."

The second after those words left his mouth, the temperature in the room dropped to the point where Kakashi swore he could see his own breath. Too late, he realized his Freudian slip.

All activity ground to a halt, and for the first time in his life, Kakashi Hatake understood what it meant to be alone in a room full of people. Everyone was glaring at him with blatant malice, and he got the distinct impression that they would've loved to see him as a smoking corpse on the ground.

But Gai was the worst. His gaze held no hatred or anger; just pity and utter disappointment. Then, with a slow shake of his head, the green-clad Jōnin turned his back on Kakashi and walked to the other side of the room without a single word. The two had locked eyes for just a second, but it was enough to ensure that the moment would haunt the copy-nin's nightmares for weeks, months, maybe even years to come.

However, Kakashi didn't get time to dwell on it, as Anko was suddenly right in his face with a snarl so vicious that he actually had to stop himself from yelping. Kakashi found himself paralyzed by her gaze as she stared into his lone eye with such intensity, one would think she was trying to make his head explode through sheer will alone. Which wasn't very far from the truth.

After three full seconds, she gave up on that and her right hand shot up, taking hold of Kakashi's forehead protector and tearing it off. With both of his eyes exposed and unable to look away from her own, Anko leaned in until their noses were touching and, with all the venom of Lord Manda himself, hissed out three simple, yet devastating words.

"You disgust me."

Kakashi's expression suddenly became blank and he just stared off into space, not even noticing Anko throwing his forehead protector to the floor and stomping off to the corner of the room the greatest distance from him.

He didn't even notice when Mitara walked over and picked up the protector.

"You..." the ANBU Captain growled, struggling to keep himself from crushing the symbol of allegiance. "You don't deserve to even have this, let alone wear it." he tossed it carelessly onto the table Kakashi was sitting at, then pulled another one out of a pocket in his vest. "I've been waiting a long time to give you this, Hatake. You've more than earned it now." he shoved the object into Kakashi's chest and walked off without another word.

Blinking dumbly, Kakashi looked down and picked the object up off his lap with a slightly trembling hand. When he got a good look at it, he suddenly found it difficult to breathe and dropped it as if it was wrapped with explosive tags.

It was a brand new forehead protector, but not one showing the symbol of any village. Etched the middle of the polished metal plate was a single kanji: the kanji for "Coward"(15).

Now on the verge of hyperventilating, Kakashi didn't notice the Sandaime Hokage all but throwing the door open as he entered the room.

"We've got a problem."

XXXX

And there you have it! I know what you're thinking, "Half a year without an update, and he leaves us with a fucking CLIFFHANGER?"

Yep, that's exactly what I did.

Some might say that Kakashi was a bit OOC at the end there, but I don't think his reactions and attitude are too farfetched, all things considered.

This chapter didn't focus on any one character, and you can expect more of the same from the next chapter. I plan on giving the girls in Konoha a larger part(they all received requests for more spotlight), and giving more in-depth views into Naruto's relationships with his escort teammates(especially Anko). People also asked for more focus on Kushina and the Triplets, so I'll put a bit more of that in as well.

Most of you may have guessed this already, but a big part of Shizaru's purpose is being a source of information. Throughout the story, he will be one of the main sources of background information on characters, events and the Black Flames Universe in general. As such, he'll do quite a lot of talking, but I'll be sure to balance it out with the ass-kicking and derisive one-liners.

(1) People wondered why, and now you have your answer. Master or not, if the Soul Edge absorbs Naruto's soul, it's game over.

(2) If I haven't said it before, let me say it now: I don't give a single, solitary shit about what you believe or what you don't believe. This is just a story, nothing more. Remember that should you feel compelled to preach to me.

(3) These creatures are taken right out of the first Devil May Cry game, and are called "Shadows". Annoying little bastards, and perfect minions for Shizaru.

(4) I don't know if I've mentioned this before, but the Shadow Clone technique isn't Konoha-exclusive in this story. During the Great Shinobi Wars, hundreds of techniques were stolen or copied from all sides.

(5) The Demolishers are based on the Hell Knights from Doom 3 appearance-wise, but their methods of attack, pseudo-invulnerability and weakness are based on the Berserkers from Gears of War.

(6) In this story, Hell and the Underworld are NOT the same place. As mentioned before, pretty much every part of Hell is ruled by someone, and that's not including the one who rules over it all. Think of the Underworld as a sanctuary for demons that don't like living under anyone's thumb. It'll be explained in more detail later in the story, and will be the setting of a future story arc.

(7) Chishi Miwaku/Fatal Attraction(yeah, yeah, I know): Kuishiro amplifies and expands his natural electromagnetic field, which allows him to sense the electric charge of any object that enters it. Once inside, he can either repel or attract the object by instantaneously altering the charge of his field. While it would theoretically work on anything that carries an electric charge, it's vastly more effective on metals; specifically those with magnetic properties, like steel and iron.

I'll admit to not being well-versed on the ins and outs of magnetism and the like, so if anyone sees anything inaccurate about this, speak up.

(8) Gyorai/Torpedo: Basically supersized senbon needles, also known as throwing spikes or darts. As their name suggests, I've based these particular weapons on the Cold Steel Torpedo(I own three of them). A normal human thrower would have trouble getting something like that to fly level, without spin, for more than ten-twelve feet or so, and even more trouble carrying around a significant number of them. They'd be no trouble for a ninja, especially a Naruto-style one.

(9) This is a modified version of the Fūma Shuriken Sasuke first used against Zabuza in the canon series. While doing some web research for Black Flames' more "canon-friendly" moments, I stumbled across something that made me pause. While the "Shadow Windmill" shuriken looks like its forged from pure awesome, there's nothing locking those four blades in place(I believe this was pointed out on TV Tropes). That didn't sit very well with me, so I decided to do something about it.

(10) I believe the term is actually "Screaming Mimi/Meemie", but I think "Meanie" is more appropriate in this case.

(11) Their training suits are based on modified motocross gear, as are their actual battle outfits.

(12) Cookie time! Where are the worms from? I expect to hand out a LOT of cookies.

(13) From what I can gather, in the actual legends "Raiden" and "Raijin" are two different names for the same being. That wouldn't do for the story, so I took some...artistic license, if you will.

(14) Even before he developed his own style, Naruto was more than proficient in Taijutsu. Who do you think taught him? It was mentioned earlier in the story that Rock Lee was one of the few people Naruto tolerated, and that was mainly because he was Naruto's sparring partner. There are actually quite a few Konoha ninjas that helped Naruto become such a formidable force, most of which will be revealed during the Chūnin Exams.

(15) I don't think there's actually a single kanji character for "Coward", but there is in this story. In reality, the closest I could find was "Cowardly person", which has three characters.

On a non-story note, I've got a little PSA to make.

I will NOT be accepting requests as a Beta Reader, or for collaborations. As you know, I'm a busy man, and I can barely keep up with my own work. I'd rather not be put into a position where I'd have to worry about someone else's work as well. While I am flattered that people think I'm good enough to ask me for help, the last thing I need is to commit myself to even more projects.

If you want me to review a story, that's fine. If you want tips, that's fine too. Hell, if you just want to chat, I'm up for it(depending on the subject matter. I don't do politics, religion, relationships, complex sciences, or fashion, to name a few).

Well, I think that about covers it. If I missed anything, let me know. If you've got questions, you know the drill.

Jason Out!


	37. The Next Hurdle

Yo! It's about a month later than desired, but I'm back, and I brought the next chapter with me! I'm not gonna bore you with the details of why it's late, but I will say that, at the point where I was nearly finished, I discovered that most of what I'd written clashed with things already established in the story. So, I had to delete 2/3 of this entire chapter and rewrite it.

Surprisingly, that didn't take too long after I found an idea I really liked and ran with it. I hope it's to your liking as well, folks.

On an unrelated note, I'm sure a lot of you know that this site has been experiencing some..."technical difficulties"(what a surprise...). There are forums dedicated to ranting about it and finding solutions, but just in case some of you didn't know, there is a workaround for the Type 2 error that comes up when you try to edit your stories. When you get to the error page, go to the URL, find the word "property", and replace it with "content". There's another Type 2 error that comes up when you try to post a new story, but it seems to only affect certain categories, and I don't know if a workaround has been found for it.

For me, this is going on day nine, and nothing's been done about this errors. I'm not gonna pretend to know how to go about fixing the problem, as there could very well be more to this than we see. But simple PSA, telling us that they know about the problem and are working on it, would be appreciated.

I will warn you now, this chapter contains no real action at all. Yes, I suppose it could be regarded as more "filler", but there's a lot of stuff I want to explain now and get it out of the way, while things are still just puttering along. After this arc, things will be speeding up, and I wouldn't want to just suddenly disrupt the pace by having a character give a history lesson.

Anywho, enough about that. On with the story!

XXXX

In the blink of an eye, six of the seven present members of the escort team appeared before the Hokage, giving him their undivided attention.

Anko was the first to speak. "It's Naruto, isn't it." it was a statement, not a question.

"It is. From what I've been told, Nii Yugito was ambush by two S-Class nukenin. Fortunately, Naruto was with her and they managed to fight the rogues off. Unfortunately, Naruto was seriously injured." Sarutobi said, his expression grim.

"Wait, wait, wait, seriously injured? Is this a different Naruto than the one I'm thinking of?" Zabuza cocked his head to the side slightly.

"Momochi-san, Naruto may be especially resilient, but he is not indestructible." the aged Hokage sighed.

"Could've fooled me..." Zabuza muttered to himself.

Ignoring him, Mitara spoke up. "Just how serious are we talking here?"

"He's in critical condition, so it's safe to say it's not just some broken bones and a couple stab wounds."

"See?" Anko suddenly exploded. "Next time I tell you that something's wrong, it might be a good idea to FUCKING LISTEN!" she made for the door, but was blocked by the Hokage.

"Sorry, Anko, I can't let you leave this room."

"Why the fuck not?" the look at the Sandaime gave her caused Anko to flinch involuntarily.

"Because, Mitarashi-san, I know how you are when you get emotional like this. I'm not going to let you go and do something you will regret." Sarutobi said sternly, locking eyes with Anko and sending her a message beyond simple words.

Reluctantly, Anko backed down, knowing that her leader wouldn't budge, and that she couldn't budge him if she tried.

"...If we can't leave the room, then why even tell us about it?" Inaro asked, fighting to keep his composure, and only partially succeeding.

"With all due respect, Hokage-sama, it feels like you're mocking us." Isaro nearly hissed, doing a worse job of controlling himself than his brother.

All shinobi, regardless of rank, were never supposed to show emotion while on the job, and that went double for ANBU. But who could really blame them for getting worked up? Inaro and Isaro, along with Mitara and the Hokage, had watched Naruto grow up right before their eyes. He would always be their "little brother". And there was nothing worse than knowing your family was in danger, and not being able to do anything about it.

"I can assure that isn't the case." Sarutobi replied, mildly insulted, but understanding how they felt. "I told you because I figured it would be best if you didn't hear about it from a Kumo messenger. I know how attached most of you are to Naruto, and I made a reasonable guess as to how you would react. We're here to negotiate a peace treaty, remember? The last thing I need is my escorts running around interrogating the Raikage's shinobi."

That caused them all to stand down. Of them all, only Gai could say that the first thought that popped into his head didn't involve doing something foolish.

"So...what now?" Zabuza asked, leaning against a wall.

"We wait for more details to come through, or for someone to come up with a plan. From what I've been told, it's clear that help won't be sent out until the storm passes. That could hours from now."

"Hours? Even in Kumo, I doubt any storm system could keep up this kind of intensity for that long." Zabuza had been present for a Kumo thunderstorm before, and while it was the most intense he'd ever witnessed, it had only lasted for twenty minutes.

"I've got to agree with Momochi-san, Hokage-sama." Gai said.

"If this were a normal storm, I'd be inclined to agree with him as well."

"What're you ta...Ah shit, you're talking about the Rokubi." Zabuza pinched the bridge of his nose and muttered something under his breath.

The three ANBU, Anko and Gai all shared looks, then turned back to the Hokage.

"You lost us." Anko deadpanned. "What does the Six-Tails have to do with this?"

"According to what I've been told, everything." Sarutobi then found a chair, lit his pipe, and proceeded to tell his subordinates what he knew.

(Naruto's Mindscape)

Things were going well for Naruto. He had taken Nami no Kuni without further incident, and had sent Morium and Reformo to watch over the coastline and waterways.

Adding to his success, a platoon of soldiers, under the command of N2, had eliminated three of Shizaru's scouting parties, and had taken control of a small village twenty miles Northwest of Konoha, called Nenshou. It wasn't much, but it was something.

However, instead of being happy, or even content with his progress, Naruto was in the grip of paranoia. Aside from the scouting parties, Naruto hadn't seen hide nor hair of Shizaru's forces ever since he'd dispatched the Demolishers. He was up to something; Naruto had no doubt about that. But the question of just what that "something" was set him on edge.

In all likelihood, the demon was simply expanding his own territory, though probably at a much quicker pace than Naruto. But what if he was gearing up for a huge offensive? What if he was just letting Naruto gather property, just so he could wipe it all out and crush any hopes of winning? Shizaru was a bastard on a level no Uchiha could ever reach, so Naruto put nothing past him.

_**"You need to work on your short term memory. " **_Shizaru suddenly spoke. _**"I told you that I had no desire to end this game quickly. I want to at least have some fun." **_

"You bastard." Naruto growled. "You're listening to my thoughts, aren't you?"

_**"That would be cheating, and I don't cheat. However, you tend to think out loud when you're nervous. So, I guess you can say that I was listening to your thoughts, in a way." **_

Naruto blinked a couple times, then hissed out a curse. He thought he had outgrown that little habit from his childhood. Back then, he hated silence, as it was usually a prelude to something terrible. So, to break it, he would just say what was on his mind. Sometimes he even had entire, hour-long conversations with himself, even going as far as changing his voice to make it seem like someone else was talking to him. Of course, Naruto never told anyone about this, as he knew the general consensus was that people who talked to themselves were crazy.

"I'll be sure to keep that to a minimum in the future."

_**"See that you do. Now then, it would appear that you're just itching for a fight, so..."**_

Loud, incessant beeping suddenly erupted from the village Naruto had taken over, indicating that his forces were under attack.

"Oh, you asshole!" Naruto snarled.

It was a raid. Somehow, someway, Naruto's scouts and N2's platoon had missed the presence of ten Demolisher demons that had, apparently, been very close by. How that was even possible, Naruto didn't know. There was another, even smaller village five miles to the East of the one N2 and his troops were occupying; perhaps the demons came from there?

'These things may be fast, but they can't cover that much ground in only a few seconds. They couldn't have already been inside the village; every inch of every building was checked, and those things are too damn big to really hide anywhere...That leaves two options: either this jackass could teleport his warriors at will, or those scouts left something behind that enabled the Demolishers to be summoned.'

Suddenly, an image appeared, floating in midair above the simulated battlefield. Apparently, while fighting off the Demolishers, his forces had found another enemy hiding out in a house that had just been flattened. It wasn't nearly as large as the Demolishers, but it was no less repulsive.

Its bulbous cranium housed two small eyes with black sclera and pinprick pupils that glowed like tiny embers. It had no nose, or even an indication of one, but it did have a long jaw and an almost comical "proud chin". Its mouth was open almost impossibly wide, exposing the jet-black interior of its mouth and its impressive set of sharp, conical teeth. Its torso was also quite a sight, as it was obviously more muscular than any human, but the protruding ribs made it look almost malnourished. Its arms, while spindly compared to a Demolisher's, were also packed with muscle, and ended in tumor-like lumps, that apparently produced flames, and four fingers tipped with scythe-like claws. Its legs were easily the most unremarkable things about it. While still rippling with muscle, they were completely humanoid, even down to the five toes(1).

Also like the Demolishers, this creature's thin skin appeared to have been taken right off of a corpse that was about half its size.

However, even though it lacked the size, power, speed and built-in armor of the Demolishers, and had chosen to hide instead of fight, the beast wasn't a pushover by any means. It had managed to single-handedly take out seven Slayers and even a Captain before it was finally struck down.

_**"That was an Arch-vile." **_Shizaru said. _**"As you saw, they are quite formidable on their own, but it's their special ability that makes them an invaluable addition to any army. I'm sure you've figured it out by now, but if you haven't: Arch-viles can summon any demonic entities with lower youki levels than themselves. Their capabilities in battle are quite impressive, but they prefer to let others do the fighting for them; typically something bigger, stronger and/or faster than themselves. They also have a limited teleportation power that makes them very good at hiding, so it's no surprise that you only found it by sheer luck."**_

"Well, now that it's gone, your raid has failed. I think I've earned another answer out of you, hm?" Naruto smirked.

_**"I'll admit that your forces are better coordinated than I thought. From what I can see, my Demolishers only took out twenty-two of your Slayers. I expected twice that number. What would you like to know? What to expect from your siblings come the '**__**Chūnin**__** Exams'?"**_

"Maybe later. You apparently know everything about me, yet I know nothing about you. I think it's time to balance the scales a little."

_**"You want to know more about me? Well, don't I feel special? But I'm afraid I don't see the point in asking those kinds of questions."**_

"Elaborate, if you don't mind."

_**"It should have gotten through to you by now that Kyuubi and I know one another. You see, Kyuubi used to work for Lord Arcarian as well. In fact, she held a position in Hell's ranks even higher than the one I have now. That is, before she suddenly went rogue, for whatever reason. Anyway, I used to be quite the inventor, and after I helped Kyuubi surpass a particularly difficult hurdle in the making of her Biosuit, she took a liking to me. Yes, we were once very good friends." **_Shizaru said with something akin to fondness. _**"In fact, she and I collaborated on hundreds of projects during her last couple centuries in Hell. She apparently doesn't remember most of that, otherwise she would've told you to get rid of that cloak when I first graced you with my presence."**_

"Kyuubi did say that she didn't remember who made the cloak...Explains why you can control it." Naruto frowned(2).

_**"Indeed. My point is, Kyuubi herself knows a lot about me, despite the memories that were sealed away. Most of what I would tell you, she could tell you. I advise you to pursue a different line of questioning, as the current one would be a waste."**_

"Right..." Naruto went silent, trying to think of another question that only Shizaru would be able to answer. "I've got it. Why are you able to get inside my mind?"

_**"Ah, clever wording, using 'why' instead of 'how'. Very well, if that's what you want to know. The entire reason I ever started a clan was Lord Arcarian telling me that he needed a large number of human followers. Well, at the time he told me this, humans with any kind of power were in short supply, and the ones that did exist would rather kill themselves than join us. So, I chose to spawn those followers myself, while I was still human. Go forward a thousand years, and the Namikaze clan was quite vast. Too much so, in fact. It was...difficult to keep track of all of my kin, and even moreso to keep them all in line. **_

_**A branch of the family broke away from the clan; a lazy bunch that saw no point in serving a God bent on bringing an end to mankind. That offshoot of our clan still exists today, and still displays considerable skill in using some of the original Namikaze abilities. I believe you know them as the Nara Clan."**_(3)

Naruto's eye twitched violently. "You've got to be kidding me...I'm related to Shikamaru?"

_**"You are separated by about a hundred and fifty generations, but yes, you and Cloud Boy share some of the same blood. After the Nara went their separate way, I went to Lord Arcarian with my problem. He was pleased with my work up to that point, so he readily gave me the means to control my fellow clansmen. Essentially, the ability I was given allows me to infiltrate your mind by assuming your identity within it. Your mental defenses ignore me, and I can go anywhere I please." **_Shizaru explained.

"Well, that's just dandy." Naruto snorted. "And I suppose there's no way to keep you out."

_**"For you, no. However, there are ways of forcing me out once I'm already in. My ability is only good for infiltration. Once I'm in, it's all down to mental conditioning, control and willpower. While you've got amazing willpower, your control and conditioning are lacking. Therefore, I can manipulate things within your mind, ranging from your mental defenses, to the mindscape itself. Once your mental capabilities are up to snuff, I won't be much of a problem for you here." **_

"And you told me that, because...?"

_**"My age is catching up to me. Like I told you, I have only an insignificant amount of human blood left in my veins. Once that last bit is assimilated, there will be nothing left connecting you and I, save for the Namikaze name. Once our blood connection is gone, I will no longer be able to enter your mind anyway. The ability's power has greatly diminished over the centuries, to the point where I had to physically enter your body just to get to your mind. I'm also a bit out of practice, as I haven't had to use it in well over a thousand years. My reputation alone was enough to quell any rebellion...That is, until your father came along."**_

"I really wish you wouldn't call _Him_ my father." Naruto growled.

_**"I know. Your father got his attitude from his father, who was the first to even attempt an uprising. Your grandfather was easy to subdue, but young Minato was...a hassle. He was powerful, even by demonic standards, and he was smart. He had done his research, and had prepared himself to confront me if I happened to show up. How? Well, he turned to what made him famous: seals. He used them to aid in his improvement on all fronts. Speed, strength, endurance, chakra capacity; you name it, he had constructed a seal for it. In the beginning, he had gone to a friend, a Yamanaka, for mental training, but that was too time-consuming for his tastes. **_

_**However, the Yamanaka did end up giving your father the solution anyway. You see, like all clans, the Yamanaka had their own special ways of punishing the disgraced and the wicked amongst them. They had invented a seal that, similar to the **__**Hyūga**__**'s Caged Bird seal, was tattooed onto an individual's forehead. It took away their ability to use the clan's techniques by keeping their mental energy trapped within them. Should they try to use one of the clan's techniques, the seal would use their own mental energy to literally liquefy their brain. When the seal was given to Minato, he enhanced it and reversed the effect. Rather than keeping mental energy in, the seal now kept mental energy out. Of course, he didn't actually know that my mind-entering ability was virtually the same as the Yamanaka's, but, as is the Namikaze way, the impulse decision turned out the be the right one."**_

"Wait...so the Yondaime Hokage had a seal tattooed on his forehead?" Naruto rose an eyebrow. "Now that wasn't in the history books."

_**"Not at all. Seals on the skin are liabilities. Skin can be taken off, afterall. No, Minato went a bit more...extreme. He had Senju Tsunade peel the skin away from the back of his head, and had his sensei, Jiraiya, carve the seal right into his skull." **_Shizaru then sighed. _**"If only he had shown that kind of dedication towards serving Lord Arcarian. He could've still been alive, and you would have parents as well as an entire clan to call your own."**_

Naruto only snorted. "Don't you think I'm fucked up enough as it is? Given the choice between a family full of demon-worshipping cultists, and not having a family at all, I'd choose the latter."

Suddenly, an inhuman growl sounded from Shizaru's side of the table. _**"Lord Arcarian is FAR more than a mere demon. He is a **_**God**_**; the creator of all things demonic! The very planet that you live on was formed by his hands! If not for Lord Arcarian, you would have nothing, and you would be nothing. You will show him the proper respect, child."**_

"I'll think about it." Naruto replied flippantly, drawing another growl from the unseen demon. "You're being awfully chatty, you know."

_**"Lord Arcarian has no use for weakness. If you are to be the great warrior that he has envisioned you as, you will need more than power, skill and cunning. One of the first lessons you will pick up in Hell is that the ignorant do not last very long, regardless of their rank."**_

"...I'll keep that in mind."

_**"See that you do. Now, let's get back to the game. You should think about expanding your territory, before you end up getting surrounded. But, before that, you might want to think about taking a few more minor villages and setting up outposts." **_Shizaru said with a small chuckle.

Naruto let out a low grunt in response. He hated to admit it, but the demon was right, as usual. He needed a solid perimeter, and the village of Nenshou would be the starting point. He sent out platoons of thirty-five troops in every direction, instructing them to conquer any villages they found along the way, and make outposts when they reached the twenty-mile mark. Once that was done, he would send more troops to those outposts, then sent more platoons from them to create more outposts another twenty miles away.

Since Konoha was almost smack in the middle of Fire Country, Naruto figured the most effective method of branching out would be in the form of ever-expanding rings around his main stronghold. It would require vast amounts of soldiers, so Naruto would have to increase production on The Line, but he knew that wouldn't be a problem. His Shadow Beast Engineers were incapable of becoming fatigued, so they could handle the increased workload.

_**"Ah, I almost forgot to mention, I advise you to create a Research and Development Department to go with your assembly line in the Shadow Realm. While your current line-up of beasts is...respectable, and has been effective thus far; trust me when I say that what you've got won't see you through for much longer." **_

Naruto wasn't at all surprised by the fact that Shizaru knew about The Line, but he was surprised by the R&D suggestion.

"I can do that? Just create new soldiers?" Naruto blinked, having honestly thought that would've been forbidden, or something.

_**"Of course. That is one of the most pivotal parts of War, and not just this game. Some of the greatest weapons known to both men and demons were made during times of war. You've no doubt heard of the saying, 'necessity is the mother of invention'. Well, nothing brings about necessity like conflict. So create whatever you wish; the only limitations here are your own."**_

Naruto couldn't help but grin at that. 'Let's see...I want some aquatic troops to help Morium and Reformo patrol the waters in Wave...And something that can fly.'

He now regretted not making it a point to get to know Kurohane's kin. If he didn't know who they were, or what they could do, then he couldn't use them in the game. At the moment, Kurohane and Lord Garandou, Naruto's ultimate trump card, were the only beings under his command that her capable of sustained powered flight.

(Konohagakure no Sato - Naruto's Apartment)

Upon entering Naruto's workshop, they found it to actually be the apartment next door to Naruto's, completely sealed off from the outside world. Workbenches of different sizes occupied most of the space near the walls, while the center of the room was taken up by a huge table that looked like it could be lowered to become part of the floor. In front of every bench, sketches lined the walls, each one detailing components and mechanisms for various contraptions, some of which looked particularly nasty. The walls themselves appeared to be normal enough, but the faint hint of chakra all around confirmed that seals were also in place.

"So, this is where the 'magic' happens..." Kurohane murmured. Naruto had told her that he used the workshop to both plan out his pranks and construct the tools needed to pull them off.

"Indeed." a very familiar voice replied, startling all of the girls and causing them to drop Hinata. Whirling around, they saw Naruto standing by the entrance to the workshop, inspecting the damage Kurohane had done. "I can see why the Boss likes you girls." the clone nodded in appreciation of the destruction.

"Where'd you come from?" Kurohane asked, not having felt any chakra signatures in the apartment besides the other girls.

"Boss keeps at least a dozen of us around here at all times, to look after things while he's away." the clone then pointed the wall next to the door. "I'm sure you've noticed the seals covering the walls. Some are for sound suppression, others for reinforcement of the walls in case of explosions, and yet others are security seals that tell the others and I when someone enters the room, and gives us a rough approximation of their threat level. There's also quite an ingenious seal that tracks the position of intruders in this room, and allows us to summon ourselves in order to get the drop on them."

"...Why did you tell us all that?" Haku asked.

"Because, the Boss obviously gave you permission to be here, so I figured he'd want you to know how this place operates." the clone shrugged. "Can't have you setting off traps and getting your pretty little heads lopped off, or worse, now can we?"

The girls laughed nervously, remembering the fireball trap that Zabuza had set off when they first came to live with Naruto. If that was the trap at the entrance, they shuddered to think of what awaited within and beyond the workshop.

"I assume you know why we're here?" Kurohane asked, hoping that this new development would make things run more smoothly.

"Unfortunately, no. The Boss is way too far away for us to receive mental messages from him. But we would be glad to help out in any way that we can."

Kurohane nodded, then tossed the scroll Naruto gave her to the clone. "Naruto wrote down what we were supposed to do in there."

Unrolling the scroll, the clone read through it quickly, then nodded to itself and re-rolled it and handed it back to the Raven Princess.

"Well, if you need to get to the lower levels, we might have a problem." the clone pointed at Hinata. "I probably don't need to tell you this, but the doors around here are far too small to accommodate her."

"So we noticed." Kurohane huffed as she pinched the bridge of her nose.

"It doesn't end there. The stairway leading down was designed to be very narrow; a chokepoint to leave enemies unable to maneuver. The way I see it, the only way to get her down there is the Shadow Walk...But I can still feel her Light affinity."

"I got her here using the Shadow Walk." Kurohane pointed out.

"I figured as much. It's the middle of the day, and inconspicuous, she is not." the clone then sighed. "I suppose I could probably get her to the bottom of the staircase before she's ejected."

"That's it?" Kurohane asked with a raised eyebrow.

"It's a very long staircase. Plus, Shadow Walking doesn't come quite as easily to us clones as it does to the Boss. I can transport inanimate objects just fine, but living beings, especially demonic ones with Light affinities...That's more complicated. This isn't as simple as dragging some poor fool into the Shadow Realm and dropping him into the middle of a Putrid den." the clone went silent for a few seconds, then shrugged. "Oh well, no use in trying to talk myself out of it." it said to itself, then turned to the girls. "I'll take care of her, you five can meet me downstairs."

"Uh...Where _are_ the stairs?" Kiriko asked.

"There's another scanner hidden in the East wall, right where a living room window of this apartment used to be. This one is different from the others, in that you all need to be scanned, within three seconds of each other, and it also requires a password." the clone walked over to the wall and knocked on it three times, causing a hidden panel to slide away and reveal the scanner.

"That wasn't in the scroll." Kurohane said with a slight frown.

"The Boss probably figured that one of us clones would tell you all you needed to know." the clone shrugged, then walked back over to Hinata. "Oh, the password is four-six-seven."

"Seems kinda...simple for someone like Naruto." Haku said.

The clone, once again, shrugged. "Four-hundred and sixty-seven; it's the number of people the Boss has killed to date(4). Everytime he kills someone, he comes back here to change the password accordingly. So, you see, the password rarely stays the same for more than a week, at the longest." and with that, the clone, along with Hinata, vanished into the shadow portal it had opened in the floor.

For a few seconds, the girls just stood there, slack-jawed from what they'd just been told.

"...Wow..." Kurohane was the one to break the silence.

"Four-hundred and sixty-seven...Not even Zabuza had a bodycount that high when he was Naruto-kun's age." Haku said, admiration and awe evident in her voice.

"...Anyone else feeling kinda..._pathetic_ right now?" Kiriko asked.

"I'm not exactly fond of killing, so I'm more than content with my record of thirty-two." Chigusa shrugged.

"Thirty-two?" Kiriko rounded on her older sister. "Dammit, now I feel even worse!"

"Why?"

"Because I've only killed twenty-three people!" Kiriko pouted.

"..." Chigusa didn't really know what to say to that.

"I've got you both beat; I've killed a hundred and two." Haku boasted, sticking her chest out a bit.

Most wouldn't think it by looking at her, or even talking to her, but Haku was quite proud of her number of kills. Zabuza had told her that, as one of the Seven Swordsmen, he had never taken an espionage or reconnaissance mission, or anything else that required casualties to be kept to a minimum. In their group, your worth was measured not only by power, but by how good of a killer you were. So, as far as Zabuza was concerned, a high bodycount meant you were a good ninja, and that mentality quickly spread to Haku.

However, during the last couple years of their travels, Zabuza had started to put less emphasis on indulging bloodlust, and more on getting jobs done quickly, cleanly and quietly. In fact, in the last year Haku had only killed three people.

Kiriko gave the younger girl the evil eye, while Chigusa just shrugged again.

It was then that they noticed that the fourth humanoid member of their group had made herself scarce, choosing to stand over by the scanner instead of participate in the conversation.

"And how about you?" Haku asked, though she inwardly dreaded the answer.

While they knew Kurohane was the youngest daughter of the Raven clan's leader, she had especially flighty about her actual age. Haku may not have known much about summons, but she did know that they lived for hundreds, even thousands of years, and outward appearance wasn't always an accurate indicator of their age. So, for all they knew, Kurohane was older than all of them combined, and had likely racked up an impressive kill-count.

'As if she needed something else to catch Naruto-kun's eye...' Haku thought with a small scowl.

Imagine her surprise when Kurohane looked towards the ground and started to fidget nervously.

"Invkldahm..." came her unintelligible mumble.

"What?"

"I said, 'I've never killed a human'." the black-clad girl huffed as she crossed her arms under her chest.

"...Really?" Kiriko asked, scratching her head.

"You mean you're..._unblooded_?" Haku asked, barely able to keep a straight face.

"Well excuse me for NOT being a murderous psychopath!...No offense." Kurohane added as an afterthought, remembering that Haku was a friend instead of a rival.

"None taken." Haku couldn't completely keep a smirk from gracing her features.

"Besides, I've never been summoned to this world to fight anyone, and the times that I visited were only to fly around a bit. I wasn't much for fighting back home, either, let alone killing." Kurohane then shook her head rapidly, as if trying to clear a bout of dizziness. "Wait, why am I even talking about this with you? I've still got a damn job to do!" she pressed her hand against the scanner, effectively ending the conversation.

Haku's nigh-unnoticeable smirk became a full-blown grin; she finally had something over Kurohane!

(Meanwhile...)

Kurenai bounded across Konoha's rooftops, making a b-line towards the Hyūga clanhome. Her team's mission had been completed when an ANBU had delivered Tora to the Hokage's office, saying that he'd found it in the Forest of Death. Her team was still paid for the mission, seeing as how they weren't allowed that deep in the forest anyway.

However, no one had seen hide nor hair of Hinata ever since they split up to expand their search for the feline. Yes, she had seemed far less...pleasant than normal when Team Eight was told they'd be tracking down Tora, again, but this wasn't at all like Hinata. It didn't matter how tired, sore or upset she was, the Hyūga heiress ALWAYS came back to her team. Sure, sometimes she was a little late to arrive, but this was unheard of, even by Kakashi's standards.

'Dammit, I knew I should've had Shino or Kiba search the Southern section.' Kurenai thought bitterly.

Whomever went there, their search would inevitably lead them to the Forest of Death. Shino and Kiba both had abilities that allowed them to communicate with and understand animals. Yes, it was limited to insects and canines, respectively, but it was more than Hinata had. And then there was the girl's one-track mind to consider. It was likely that she had found the cat, and had ended up chasing it into the Forest of Death.

If that was the reality, then even the best case scenario was quite grim.

'I accept full responsibility if anything has happened to her, but I have to wonder...will her family even care?' Kurenai had every right to wonder, as she had seen many glimpses of the girl's home life since Team Eight had become an official squad.

At best, Hinata was largely ignored by anyone who wasn't a servant, including her own father and younger sister. At worst, she was labeled as worthless by everyone around her. And though Hinata tried her best to hide them, Kurenai had seen the bruises. Judging from how he behaved when Hinata was near, Kurenai suspected the bruises were the handiwork of her first cousin, Neji Hyūga. Of course, she had no hard evidence, but the feminist Jōnin knew all the signs of an abusive relationship.

However, since Anko and Naruto had started training her, all of her bruises came from them, and Hinata wore them like badges of honor. But even with the marked increase in Hinata's abilities and power, things hadn't changed much at home. Apparently, she had yet to adopt either of her new teachers' meanstreaks.

'Thank Kami for small miracles...' one Anko was enough, and one Naruto was _more_ than enough.

With one final leap, Kurenai hopped off of the last rooftop and landed before the front gate of the Hyūga compound. The two branch member guards didn't look at all surprised to see her, and the slowly receding veins around their eyes told her why.

"Is there a problem, Yūhi-san?" the guard to her right, the taller one, asked.

"You seem to be in quite a hurry." the guard to the left said.

"Did Hinata come back home?" actually saying the word "home", and not spitting it out like rancid milk, was a chore for Kurenai.

The two guards shared a look, then the one on the right spoke. "We have not seen her, but you may want to speak with the morning guards, Kaji and Yūka. We relieved them not even a half hour ago."

"Where can I find them?"

"Knowing them; Yūka is most likely asleep, and Kaji is..." the other guard paused, frowning deeply before continuing. "Actually, I'd rather not say what I think Kaji is doing."

"Kaji has spent a little too much time around Hatake Kakashi, and has developed a taste for some of the more...perverse things in life." the tall guard then frowned as well. "He seems to forget that only main house members are allowed to use seals that prevent the Byakugan from seeing through the walls of their rooms." the guard shuddered in disgust.

'...As if I needed _another_ reason not to like Hatake...' Kurenai pinched the bridge of her nose in frustration. "Well, can I at least speak with her father? If something's happened to Hinata, I think he deserves to know about it." 'Not that he'd care.'

"I'm afraid that won't be possible unless you've made an appointment with him." the shorter guard said. "Otherwise, any messages will have to be relayed through us."

"That won't be necessary." the guards involuntarily tensed as they heard the voice of Hiashi Hyūga, who had suddenly appeared at the gate between them. "If you need to speak with me, I can only assume it's something about Hinata." the Hyūga Clanhead gave a slight snort of contempt. "What has she done this time?"

Kurenai's jaw clenched hard as she bit back an answer expressing her true feelings towards the man.

"...I don't know..." she barely managed to croak out.

"Well, I can see that I left her in capable hands..." Hiashi mocked, referring to how he had all but disowned Hinata once she was assigned to Team Eight, basically dumping her off on Kurenai.

"What I mean is that I haven't seen her ever since this morning, just after Team Eight was assigned a D-Class mission..."

"So, you lost my daughter, then?" Hiashi asked, his right eyebrow suffering a single, unnoticeable twitch.

"I had her searching for Tora in the Southern quadrant of the village..." Kurenai noticed that even the normally unflappable Hiashi gave a full-body shudder at the mention of the hellbeast that people dared to call a housecat.

"So, her last known whereabouts were in the Southern quadrant..." Hiashi's eyes narrowed a fraction. "And exactly _where_ in the Southern quadrant do you suppose she went missing?"

"...Training Ground Forty-Four, though I think she might have gone deeper than that."

Hiashi's face went blank for a few seconds, and Kurenai swore she saw his whole body stiffen. But, in a fraction of a second, he regained his somewhat relaxed "nobleman" posture, and his apathetic expression.

"You lost my daughter...in the Forest of Death?" while his tone betrayed nothing, Kurenai could almost _feel_ something behind those words.

"For lack of a better term, yes." Kurenai conceded. "But, now that I know she hasn't come home, I will gather a search party immediately. I will find Hinata; you have my word."

"Hm, you do that." Hiashi replied dismissively before disappearing in a cloud of white smoke.

Kurenai just frowned deeply, fists clenched at her sides, before huffing and vanishing in a swirl of leaves.

"...Well, even though it was only for a minute, I now know what it's like to _not_ be ignored." the tall guard said.

"Indeed." the shorter guard agreed.

Ten seconds later, both men let out deep, melancholy sighs. It had been a week since they'd gotten so much as a "Hello" out of anyone. Fellow guards, maids, chefs, main house members, branch members, villagers and fellow ninjas on the street; people rarely said anything to them. Even when they went to the store, the clerks would ring up their items without even looking at the men who bought them. Not even a "Welcome" or "Thank you, come again".

The taller guard suddenly started to sob. "Is it too much to ask for a little recognition every now and then?"

"...There, there?" the short guard patted his friend on the shoulder awkwardly.

While this was going on, Hiashi was back in his room, sitting on the edge of his king-size bed with his head bowed and his hands in his lap. Hanging loosely from the fingers of his right hand was a framed photograph of his late wife, himself and Hinata, taken just eight years ago; a week before his wife had given birth to their second daughter, and four before she had succumb to an exotic illness.

With his long hair blocking his face from view, no one would be able to see the small smile on his lips, or the harsh glare in his eyes as his visage twisted with barely restrained rage.

"If my daughter is not found alive and unharmed, I will have your head, Yūhi...You have _MY_ word."

(Naruto's Apartment)

After the Femme Fatales had descended they stairs, they had found Naruto's clone standing at the bottom, tapping its foot impatiently.

"You certainly took your time..." the clone said, obviously miffed at being made to wait.

"Sorry." Kurohane said, then glared at the other girls over her shoulder, all of whom had the decency to be embarrassed.

"Hm." the clone grunted. "Hinata is in good hands now; she's been taken to the Lab. We'll run a few tests, see what we can figure out. Hopefully we'll find a way to get her back into human form before people start snooping around."

"Her team will probably be the first. They likely started searching as soon as they lost communication with Hinata. Unfortunately, I have no idea when that was." Kurohane told the clone.

"I expect her Jōnin sensei to be on our doorstep any minute now." the clone then shrugged. "Oh well, no sense in worrying about it. Thank you for bringing Hinata here, Kurohane. Mission success."

"WHOO!" Kurohane cheered, unable to contain her joy and excitement at having completed her first real mission. Even with everything that had gone wrong, she still managed to pull it off!

The feelings were contagious, as the other girls were immediately swept up in the moment, hugging each other and bouncing around like little children.

"...I feel sick..." Naruto's clone muttered to itself as it watched off to the side.

"Aww, sounds like someone needs a hug!" Kurohane grinned and walked towards the clone with arms wide open.

"No thank you." the clone said, backing further down the corridor. "I've got things to do. Things that don't involve..._hugs_."

"Bah, you're no fun." Kurohane pouted.

"Yes, well I'm not the 'fun' clone; I'm the clone that does the job assigned to him."

Kurohane's mood instantly soured and her pout was replaced with a deep frown. She had momentarily forgotten than she wasn't talking to the real Naruto, and had therefore forgotten the condition that said boy was currently in.

"If there is nothing else you require of me, I'll be in the Lab. You may look around all you like, but be mindful of where you are and where you've been; it's quite easy to get turned around in these tunnels."

"Is there anything to actually _do_ around here?" Haku asked.

"Well, there's the Trophy Room, the Prototype Room, and the Movie Room that might be of interest to you." the clone then made a clone of its own. "He will show you to whichever room you wish. However, if you do decide to wander about, please pay attention to the labels on doors before you even think about opening them. If it says 'Do Not Open', then do not open." with that, the original clone turned and walked down a separate tunnel.

"So, where to?" the remaining clone asked.

"...Trophy Room?" Haku suggested, talking to the other girls more than the clone.

"Okay. I'll admit that I'm curious as to what kind of trophies Nii-chan would have." Chigusa replied. 'Though I've got a good idea already...'

"Very well," the clone said, "follow me." it turned on its heel and walked off down the corridor.

Doing as told, the girls fell into step behind the clone. As they walked, they couldn't help but notice the remarkable craftsmanship of the tunnels. Crafted by ninjas skilled in Earth-based techniques, they looked like they'd been carved out of solid stone by thousands of people with thousands of chisels and hammers. They were also quite large, twelve feet wide by ten feet high, as they originally served as evacuation tunnels, and were designed to accommodate a large number of people. The walls were smooth as polished marble, and the ceiling was lined with fluorescent light tubes, their housings actually integrated into the rock overhead.

Large steel braces framed the tunnels at fifty-foot intervals, though only part of their function was to prevent a cave-in. The braces were lined with seals that, when activated with a specific sequence of handseals, formed a chakra barrier that would stop all but the most powerful of pursuers in their tracks. Some of them even produced walls of fire in place of a plain barrier.

Upon finishing their inspections of the tunnels, the girls noticed something else. As they walked, they could easily pick out the sounds of their own footfalls, even with their ninja sandals specifically designed to mute sound, and the rhythmic thumps of Kurohane's boots were impossible to miss. But Naruto's clone didn't make a single sound as it walked, even though it was also wearing heavy combat boots.

And now that they thought about it, Naruto himself never made any noise when he walked.

"Uh, Clone-san?" Haku spoke up, not sure of how to address the clone.

"Yes?" it answered, not breaking stride.

"I noticed that your steps don't make any sound. How are you doing that?"

"My feet aren't actually touching the floor."

"So...you're using chakra?" Kiriko ventured.

"Not entirely. I use my chakra to gather small pockets of air under my feet. The Boss originally developed this as an exercise in precise control of the Wind element, but he has since thought up a wide variety of uses for it, including this stealth aid."

"So you're literally walking on air right now..." Haku blinked, wondering why she'd never thought of something like that. She did have a strong Wind affinity, afterall.

"Onii-chan is awesome!" Seizonsha yipped.

This drew giggles, as well as nods of agreement, from each of the girls. Except for Kurohane, and this didn't go unnoticed.

"Is something wrong, Kuro-chan?" Chigusa asked, slowing her pace to match the taller girl's.

"What? Oh, nothing's wrong...I've just got a lot on my mind right now." Kurohane gave a small smile, though everyone could tell it was forced.

Seeing that the leather-clad girl wasn't about to elaborate, no one pushed the issue. It would be brought up at another time, perhaps when she was feeling more talkative.

The next few minutes passed in silence before they reached the door labeled as "Trophy Room".

"Since you're all warriors, I don't think I need to worry about any of you being squeamish." the clone placed its hand on the scanner next to the door, which clicked a second later, indicating that it was now unlocked.

When the door opened, the girls were greeted with a sight that would stay with them for the rest of their lives. It was a wall covered with human skulls of various shapes, sizes and conditions. Most were flawless; bleached white and polished to the point of glinting like pearls in the light. But many of them had the telltale signs of a very brutal death.

Several had gashes left by bladed weapons biting deep into the bone. Others had holes in them, most easily distinguished as being from kunai. Some had cracks spiderwebbing across the craniums, indicating severe bluntforce trauma. A couple even looked like they had been completely shattered, then glued back together piece by piece. Likewise, there were few in which portions has been cleanly sliced off, but had been reattached at some point afterward. Hell, some of them looked like they'd been cut completely in two, though only a ninja would notice at first glance. Then there were the ones that had been either partially or completely charred.

But, even with the imperfections, every single skull had one thing in common: a number carved into bone just above the brow ridge.

"As you most likely know, every one of these skulls came off of a person that the Boss has killed." the clone said, with no small amount of pride in its tone as it walked over to the far left of the wall. "These older kills over here were somewhat difficult to recover."

"...'Recover'?" Kiriko asked, silently cursing her morbid curiosity.

"Well, most of these are from before the Boss started collecting, which was after his tenth birthday. So, those bodies had to be exhumed in order to retrieve the skulls. However, some couldn't be found. Whether they were burned to ashes, crushed into dust, or digested; they were beyond recovery. That said, there are only three-hundred and ninety-eight, when there should be four-hundred and sixty-seven."

"...I take it no one knows about the grave-robbing." Haku said.

"We do our best to keep it that way. The Hokage lets the Boss get away with a _lot_ of things, but there's little doubt that he'd draw the line at desecrating graves. Even if they're the graves of worthless bigots and morons." the clone replied.

Haku just nodded, then swept her eyes over the skulls once more. When she got to the skull numbered two-hundred and fifty-one. There was something giving off a metallic glint near the back of the skull. Upon closer inspection, Haku saw that it was a metal plate screwed into the bone. She knew a person who had a titanium plate on their skull; something which he had bragged about constantly.

"...This one...it's Gozu, isn't it?"

The clone walked over to inspect the skull itself, then nodded. "Yes, that is from the eldest of the Demon Brothers of Kirigakure. I take it you knew him?"

"Not very well, but what I did know, I didn't like. He was a womanizer, and a bit of a jerk all around." Haku then turned a sad eye to skull two-fifty-two. "But his younger brother, Meizu, was okay. He was always apologizing for Gozu's actions and/or comments..."

"I see...Well, for what it's worth, his end was quick and painless." of course, the clone felt no remorse, and neither did Naruto himself. The Demon Brothers had been enemies at the time, and had attacked first with the intent to kill.

"All part of being a ninja." Haku shrugged, though her expression was still one of sorrow. "Both of them were very fatalistic; they knew it was only a matter of time until they were killed."

"Makes since. Any Hunter-nin strong enough to even think about going after Zabuza would be more than a match for both of them." the clone scanned over the skulls once more.

"Speaking of Hunter-nin, I thought Naruto turned their heads in for the bounty?" Kiriko questioned, not feeling anything over the loss of the Demon Brothers. Neither she nor her sister ever said much to them beyond "Good morning" and "Back off, dirtbag".

"The Boss has no need for the money those bounties would have brought. He only wants it to be known that he's the one who killed them. To prove that, he turned in their hearts and brains for DNA analysis. Though it was confirmed, he didn't get the money, as the Mizukage's bounty was very specific about intact heads being delivered back to Kirigakure." the clone informed. "Well, this is it for the Trophy Room. Where would you like to go next?"

"The other clone mentioned a 'Prototype Room'. What's that?" Haku asked.

"It's where the Boss keeps the various contraptions that he's created over the years. Some of them are weapons, while others are tools for his more elaborate pranks. Several clones also work in that room, either trying to complete projects, or converting the harmless into the lethal." the clone then paused and stroked its chin in thought. "Perhaps it's best if we skipped that room for now. Don't want any of you blowing yourselves up, or worse." the clone suddenly stiffened and snapped its head up towards the ceiling.

"What?" in unison, all four of the girls, and Seizonsha, readied themselves for a fight.

"...Someone is at the front door up above." the clone said.

"Can you tell who it is?" Kiriko asked.

"Not from here, no." the clone shook its head. "I can tell it's a Jōnin, though a bit on the weak side..." it then shrugged. "Most likely Hinata's _official_ sensei looking for her. One of the others will take care of it. Come, I will show you to the Movie Room."

(With Kurenai)

What Kurenai had told the Hyūga Clanhead hadn't been the whole truth. She was going to gather a search party, but there was still one more person that she wanted to talk to...Well, perhaps not 'wanted', so much as 'needed'. Afterall, this was someone almost as high as Hiashi on her list of insufferable bastards. But if he didn't know where Hinata was, then things were worse than previously thought.

'If he doesn't know, maybe I can still get him to join the search party.' Kurenai thought. Aside from Anko and the ANBU stationed there year-round, Naruto knew the Forest of Death better than anyone. And he had excellent tracking capabilities, to boot.

But, despite her completely logical and rational reasons for showing up on Naruto's doorstep, Kurenai felt that knocking on the door was just about the last thing she wanted to do. And really, that was actually a logical and rational reaction. This was Naruto _freaking _Namikaze's place! Even normal ninjas booby-trapped their homes to ward off intruders, and Naruto made a reputation out of taking things to levels FAR beyond what was considered "normal". For all Kurenai knew, just ringing the doorbell would get you a hydrofluoric acid shower.

So, she decided to have a Shadow Clone do the honors, while she hid around the corner of the building next to the apartment complex.

Said clone rapped the knuckles of its right hand on the door fearlessly; it couldn't feel pain, afterall. Even his worst traps could do nothing but dispel the clone.

It didn't matter, however, as nothing happened. Nothing fell on the clone, the clone itself didn't fall into anything, and nothing blew up. No one answered the door, either.

"..." Kurenai's clone turned to its creator with a shrug as she poked her head out from behind the building. "I don't think anyone's home."

"No," came Naruto's smooth voice, startling the clone, "I just didn't feel the need to hurry."

"Hmph, still as rude as ever, I see." the clone huffed, still pretending to be the real Kurenai.

"Of course...But, isn't it also rude to send a clone to talk to someone, while you cower behind a building?" "Naruto" then rammed his hand through the Shadow Clone's chest, causing it to dispel with its signature "pop" and puff of white smoke. "If what you wanted to speak to me about is so unimportant that you can't do it yourself, then I doubt I will give a damn. Bother me again, Yūhi-san, and there will be consequences."

"Wait!" Kurenai shouted as she dashed to the door. "It's about Hinata!"

"Naruto" paused, then turned back to face the red-eyed woman. "What about her?"

"She's...gone missing..." Kurenai couldn't help by feel a distinct lack of concern coming from the boy in front of her, and she'd be lying if she said it didn't tick her off.

"Really? And here I thought she'd been with me for the last few hours." "Naruto" replied with obvious sarcasm.

"Wha...She's with you?" something about that didn't sit well with Kurenai. "How come she didn't report in after Team Eight's mission this morning?"

"Simple: I attacked her." the masked Genin shrugged.

"You _what_?" Kurenai hissed.

"I. Attacked. Her." he answered mockingly. "It's part of her training program with me. Enemy shinobi won't warn her before they attack, at least not the decent ones, and neither do I."

"Well, if you're here, then where is she?"

"Where else? She's here with me."

"Can I see her?"

"No."

"And why not?" Kurenai's eyes narrowed in suspicion.

"Because she's not herself at the moment."

"Explain." Kurenai demanded, not even flinching when the boy growled at her.

"What did I tell you about ordering me around?"

"Save it, Namikaze. If you can't be bothered to explain yourself, then hand Hinata over."

"Sorry, no can do."

"Then I'll have every Hyūga Chūnin-level and above breathing down your neck in the next two minutes."

"Oh? You really know how to make a guy shake in his boots, Yūhi." "Naruto" then looked down at his boots to see both them and his body perfectly stationary. "Hm, nevermind."

"Why do you have to be so impossible to deal with?" Kurenai screamed, wanting nothing more than to deck the blonde into next month.

"Impossible? Please, Yūhi, I'm just being 'difficult'. At least I'm actually listening to you. 'Impossible' is when I don't pay attention to a word you say, and, I don't know, tear out your spine or something." the semi-cheerful tone with which "Naruto" said that last part actually creeped Kurenai out enough to make her take a step back.

"Dammit, Naruto, I'm just worried about her, that's it!" Kurenai let out an exasperated sigh as her entire body seemed to deflate. "I just need to know that she's alright, that's all I want."

"Naruto" proceeded to stare at her, looking for even the slightest hint of deception. Upon finding only genuine concern for Hinata's wellbeing, he sighed.

"Fine, I'll tell you, but only on one condition."

"Name it." Kurenai said, without missing a beat.

"Come inside, I don't need this to be public knowledge." the boy opened the door wider and stepped aside, allowing the rookie Jōnin to enter the apartment complex. Once she found a seat, he continued. "You are to keep what you're about to hear to yourself. If anyone, and I mean _anyone_, starts asking questions about this, ANBU, your other students, or the Hokage himself, you will be getting a visit from 'Impossible Naruto'. Is that clear?"

Kurenai nodded, under no delusions that Naruto would think anything of killing her, and having no doubt that he could do it in such a way that no one would ever be able to pin it on him.

"Good. Now, I'm sure you remember my little dragon transformation during my joint mission with your team, correct?" receiving another nod, "Naruto" continued. "Well, at her request, I taught Hinata something similar; an advanced Henge, if you will. Unfortunately, she tried to use it on me when I ambushed her in the Forest of Death, and botched it. So now she's stuck in a form that can hardly be described as human, and I'm currently trying to find a way to change her back."

"...You mean you can't reverse your own technique?" Kurenai asked incredulously.

"I've never screwed it up, so no." the boy countered.

"Everyone makes mistakes, Namikaze."

"I've made mistakes, yes, but the results are usually extra limbs, gross disproportions or..._exotic_ color schemes. I've never been unable to resume my normal form though, so I have no experience with this kind of situation."

"Maybe I can help?"

"If I have no experience with this kind of thing, you most certainly don't. The type of transformation I taught her is no illusion, Yūhi."

"How will we know if you won't let me try?" Kurenai retorted.

"Trust me, I know. Plus, she doesn't want anyone to see her in this state; especially you."

"She told you that?"

"Mm-hm. Probably something to do with you being her mother-figure. Well, that's about it, so I'd appreciated it if you'd leave and let me get back to work."

"..." Kurenai rose from the chair she was sitting on, right eye twitching and a large vein throbbing underneath the skin on her forehead.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm a rude son of a bitch. Why don't you show me a thing or two by _politely_ showing yourself out?" "Naruto" gestured to the door flippantly.

Kurenai gave a very un-ladylike howl of frustration and stomped over to the door. She ripped it open, breaking the lock, and stormed out of the building.

"I honestly have no idea what Hinata sees in you." Kurenai said in an attempt to get the last word in.

"Just like I don't know what Asuma-sensei sees in you...Besides the obvious, that is." "Naruto" made a show if looking the undeniably-attractive woman up and down.

"Bastard!" Kurenai screamed, then disappeared in a swirl of leaves.

The Darkness Clone only chuckled. "You'd think so." it then looked at the broken door and sighed. "What happened to the reinforced door? Meh, not like it even matters; no one will even noticed we fixed it. Again." sometimes it seemed like Naruto himself was the only one who really appreciated his clones.

(Naruto's Mindscape)

Try as he might, Naruto just couldn't keep the triumphant grin off his face. The newest additions to his army had recently been finished, and their first deployments had been monumental successes, at least in the case of the aerial units.

Instead of making something completely knew, Naruto had decided to just create copies of Grals. Their strength, speed, agility and excellent natural weaponry making them almost perfect for Naruto's needs. However, they weren't exact copies, as the Grals had some glaring natural weaknesses. Their vulnerability to even low-intensity light, and their lack of defensive capabilities, to name a couple.

These new Grals had several modifications that made them far more effective fighters. Sturdy, bone-like armor covered their bodies, offering infinitely more protection than the smooth, leathery hide of their normal counterparts. Their wings were made larger as well, with more armor running down the leading edge of both wings and forming a sharp blade. While these new Grals were no longer blind, Naruto chose to keep the ultrasonic sensors on either side of their heads, and the long stalks that contained them. However, they were reshaped to be more aerodynamic, and reinforced so they couldn't be snapped off easily.

In all, these new Grals would excel at both aerial recon and combat, and had proven that on their very first deployment. Naruto had sent thirty of the three-hundred that had been made up into the skies, commanding them to spread out in groups of three to search for enemies. It wasn't a minute later that four out of the ten groups encountered Shizaru's aerial forces.

Huge, wasp-like insects that had some sort of active camouflage that allowed them to blend in with the sky. The Grals' echolocation and excellent sense of smell allowed them to pick the bugs up easily enough, and their superior strength, speed and armament made dispatching them even easier. Despite their intimidating appearance and deadly-looking beaks, the bugs weren't built for direct combat. Naruto had zoomed in on the dogfight to see the carnage, and was impressed by the sheer ferocity of his creations.

They literally hacked the bugs apart, using their claws and the blades on their heads and wings. Some Grals even tackled bugs mid-flight and shredded them with claws and teeth, then released the corpses to go after live enemies. In the span of only a few minutes, the thirty Grals had downed at least a hundred and twenty bugs, that Naruto had managed to count. They tore through the skies unopposed...until they reached the border of Earth Country.

Two groups had gone that way, and all six of those Grals had been destroyed seconds after crossing into Tsuchi no Kuni airspace. But that was okay with Naruto, as he was now certain that Shizaru was somewhere in Earth Country, specifically Iwagakure. The village's natural fortification made it a prime location for a stronghold.

'Doesn't exactly make beating him any easier, but now I've got an idea as to where his main base is.' a small step on the road to victory, but progress was progress.

_**"Well, I suppose it was only a matter of time before you got close. Kudos on your newest beasts, I didn't expect your first attempt at flying creatures to be so formidable." **_Shizaru complimented. _**"Tell me, how common are Grals in your section of the Shadow Realm?"**_

"Very." Naruto answered with a raised eyebrow, not understanding what the Gral population had to do with anything.

_**"Ah, then I guess they originate in your area. They are an invasive species in mine. It's strange, though...I've never seen them in the Shadow Nexus, so I wonder how they get through from your realm into mine..."**_ Shizaru muttered the last sentence to himself, but wasn't surprised when Naruto caught it.

"'Shadow Nexus'?"

_**"..."**_

"Yeah, yeah, I gotta find something of yours to kill."

_**"How's about I save you the trouble?" **_Shizaru asked, letting out a devious chuckle.

Naruto frowned, but had been expecting something like this. He sent a hundred more Grals into the air from Konoha, and put all of his troops on high-alert. He had no idea where Shizaru would attack, or what he would send to do the job, but he was expecting something big and mean.

He wasn't disappointed. Just shy of five minutes after Shizaru's "warning", Naruto's aerial units and ground troops in three of the Northern outposts were under attack. But this was more than a mere raid; it was more like a full-on siege. Attacks came from a variety of enemies in the air, on the ground, and even _under_ the ground.

In the air, a new enemy made it's appearance. It resembled the bugs Naruto's aerial units had encountered before, only larger, more powerful and with eight limbs instead of six. They were dark green in color, with heavier, bulkier bodies and larger wings. Their two front legs were folded up at either side of their huge, pincer-like mandibles, and looked to be far more suited to stabbing, slashing and grabbing than walking. The rearmost pair of legs were huge, resembling grasshopper legs and indicating that the bugs likely had astonishing leaping capabilities. Like the new Grals, the bugs seemed to have blade-like wing edges themselves, and were also armed with long stingers protruding from the ends of their abdomens.

_**"The wasp-like creatures your Grals took care of were little more than scouts, designed only to observe enemy movements undetected. These are bred for combat, and combat alone. Like the Chameleon Bug, these creatures are a species of insect native to both Hell and the Underworld, where they are known as the 'Klendathu'. These particular specimens are actually a subspecies of the Warrior caste, which you'll meet later, called 'Jumpers'. They are quite lethal, and can take a great deal more punishment than the Chameleons."**_ Shizaru informed.

"So I see..." Naruto grimaced as his Grals started dropping like flies.

Unit for unit, the Grals still had the edge in power and durability. But the "Jumpers" were quicker and outnumbered the Grals nearly five-to-one. Sending out all of his aerial units would've bettered the odds, but it would also be a major gamble. Even if they succeeded in defeating the bugs, the loses would no doubt be significant, and if Shizaru decided to send out another wave...

_**"Oh, and let's not forget about the Tanker." **_

"The what?" Naruto looked down to see that two of his outposts had already been destroyed by gigantic black beetles(5). "Son of a bitch!"

_**"Well, my mother wasn't exactly a saint, but I wouldn't go that far." **_Shizaru chuckled.

"...Was that a _joke_? Bit of advise; stick to being a dick, 'cause you're not funny." Naruto deadpanned.

_**"I suppose a clown like yourself would be an authority on comedy."**_

"Oh? Well, if your boss sent you after a mere 'clown', then he must not think very highly of you."

_**"The fact that you're a worthless jester is the reason Lord Arcarian sent me in the first place. I've been tasked with turning you into something worthwhile, and it doesn't matter how I go about it. Even if you were to die from the injuries I've inflicted upon you, it wouldn't be too big of a deal. A major inconvenience, yes, but nothing to truly worry about."**_

"Hm, so this 'Arcarian' allows corpses into his army? And I thought Konoha had low standards..."

_**"You didn't think that one through too clearly. It's HELL'S Army, boy. Tell me, where do you think a person like you will go when he dies? You've murdered over five-hundred human beings, your soul is tainted with the power of two different demons, and you are a half-demon yourself." **_Shizaru chuckled in amusement.

"...Ah hell."

_**"Precisely. Your body can be repaired, and venturing into Hell to retrieve your soul would be a relatively simple matter." **_Shizaru let loose a diabolical laugh. _**"Now you see, even death won't save you, little hanyou."**_(6)

"Well, that's just wonderful...But I don't plan on dying anytime soon, and I don't plan on joining your army, ever. So, I guess you're shit out of luck, Gramps." Naruto smirked.

Shizaru merely laughed again. _**"We shall see. But, for now, you should probably send in some reinforcements. Your troops are being slaughtered."**_

Naruto grunted and directed his attention back to the battlefield. Sure enough, his ground forces were being decimated at a frightening rate. While the Specters and Demolishers were easily handled by Slayers, Darkness Clones and Hell Hounds, three Arch-viles just kept summoning more of them. And then there was the giant "Tanker" beetle, which was impervious to their attacks thus far, and had formidable offensive capabilities itself. Not only did it have immense physical strength, but it could also produce a stream of flammable, highly corrosive liquid out of a tube on the top of its head. This liquid was ignited as it came into contact with an electrical spark made by two small antennae, similar to a civilian stungun.

This acidic flamethrower was effective even against Naruto's fire-manipulating clones, and had a range of at least three-hundred yards. However, the beetles were quite indiscriminate with their attacks, and had taken out quite a few of their own allies.

In the air, things were going a bit better for Naruto's side. While the Jumper bugs still had a massive advantage in numbers, unit for unit the Grals were still stronger and tougher. They were also smarter, having human-like intelligence the same as all of Naruto's creations. This allowed them to adapt to situations and form strategies on the fly. Figuring that bolstering their numbers would allow the Grals a victory, Naruto sent another eighty to assist the eighty that were still alive and fighting.

On the ground, it wasn't as simple as increasing numbers. There were key elements on the battlefield that needed to be eliminated, otherwise they'd be stuck at square one forever.

'I need to take out the Arch-viles first. Once they stop summoning allies, my forces can wipe out the Specters and Demolishers. If they concentrate all their power on the Tankers, they should be able to find a weakness and take them down..'

(Shadow Realm - Chuushin no Yami - Arena)

Six of the eight Guardians present watched silently as the walls and floor of the arena repaired themselves.

"I guess we didn't do enough damage afterall." Morium commented.

**"Bah." **Reformo grunted, smacking the ground with his finned tail and snorting when the impact crater patched itself up.

_"...Y'know, one would think you'd be happy to have a fighting ground that you _can't_ destroy." _Vereor said before emptying a bag of chips into his mouth and chewing noisily. If Naruto hadn't already been awesome in Vereor's book, he would've been once he found out that the boy had stolen vending machines from the "Normal World" and put them in his castle.

**"I was happy...But now I just feel...inadequate." **the sharkman suddenly lashed out at a pillar to his left, scoring a deep gash with the razor-sharp fin protruding from his forearm. Within seconds, the pillar was as good as new, and he returned to silently fuming.

_"Well, if it makes you feel any better, the repair rate appears to be slowing down." _Vereor noted, producing another bag of chips seemingly out of thin air.

"I would think that has more to do with Pondera than anything else." Affectus said as yet another explosion caused the floor beneath them to tremble.

About an hour ago, Pondera had been sparring with Fragilitas and had suddenly stopped dead in his tracks for no apparent reason. He then began to pour out youki and killing intent. He said something to Fragilitas, and they both took off out of the arena. Minutes later, they had returned, seething in rage, and proceeded to absolutely _wreck_ everything in sight.

This included the other Guardians, who were quickly reminded of just why Pondera had been designated as their leader. Reformo, Affectus and Ignotus had faced him, but only Affectus managed to fight him to a draw. However, the shinobi demon had backed down upon seeing that his opponent was actually _gaining_ strength as the fight went on, while he was losing it with every blow dealt and received.

Fragilitas had eventually stopped, having fought Veneratio, Vereor and Morium to the point of exhausting himself, and them. But he hadn't worked out all of his anger, and decided to sharpen _every_ weapon in his arsenal that had a cutting edge as further stress relief. At least he had the decency to move to the other side of the arena so the noise wouldn't irritate his fellow demons so much.

But Pondera just kept at it, breaking and/or blowing up everything around him.

"What do you think's got him so riled up?" Morium asked as he smacked a stray chunk of rubble out of the air before it could hit his face.

"Wouldn't know. I just hope he doesn't use _That_ technique." Ignotus remarked, idly combing his facial hair.

"I doubt he would. The last time he used it was when he fought Minato. Ended the fight, and nearly caused a cave-in." Morium said.

_"I don't know, he's pretty pissed..."_ Vereor trailed off and dropped his third bag of chips when he sensed Pondera begin to concentrate his youki. _"Yep, he's gonna use it." _the skeletal demon then bolted for the arena entrance/exit, along with the rest of the Guardians.

While they were fairly certain Pondera's attack wouldn't do too much damage to them as far away as they were, none of them were very keen on testing that theory. At least not without Clementia present to put up a barrier.

Pondera took no notice of the evacuation, or the fact that Fragilitas had also left. Focusing a good fifth of his entire supply of youki into his right arm, he raised the appendage above his head, then slammed his fist into the ground, releasing the stored energy at the exact moment of impact.

"Q-BOMB!" the demon roared, and for a single second, nothing happened.

Then, the arena floor cracked and swelled underneath him. That was the only warning before the entire arena structure vanished in a blinding flash of light. This flash was accompanied by an almighty "boom" that caused every window in the castle to shatter. The tremor resulting from the explosion rocked the ground with force on par with that of a magnitude 7.0 earthquake.

When the dust cleared, the true extent of the devastation wrought by the attack was revealed. In all, it wasn't that bad. Yes, the arena looked like it had lost a fight against a meteorite, but, beyond the Chuushin no Yami's windows, it was the only thing that had been damaged.

Of course, the display had drawn more than a little attention.

"...Oh dear." Commander D sighed as he stood beside Commander Hayabusa.

Behind them stood just about every Butler and Engineer in the castle, as well as Doc, who looked quite disinterested.

"...And Naruto was so proud of his 'indestructible' arena, too..." Doc then shrugged and walked back into the castle.

"I knew it was a bad idea to give those demons free reign." Hayabusa shook his head. "We should have learned from Kyuubi-sama's antics." he let out an amused snort when several Butlers shivered at the mention of the Queen of Demons.

Within the rubble, a huge slab of stone trembled, then rose up, revealing eight figures.

Without so much as a grunt of exertion, Reformo tossed the slab away, allowing himself and his fellow Guardians to escape from the wreckage. They'd been fast enough to avoid the blast itself, but not the debris. Thinking quickly, Reformo had grabbed the largest chunk of the arena he could find to use as a makeshift shield.

"Ignotus, you sure lived up to your name on that one." Morium growled as he shook the dust from his hide.

"So I underestimated the blast radius; big deal." the "old man" replied as he patted down his long beard to rid it of pulverized granite. "It wasn't nearly that powerful when he used it on Minato."

_"No shit. If it was, Minato would've been vaporized."_ Vereor snapped, pissed about having dropped his last bag of chips. _"Speaking of which, shouldn't we go check on Pondera? You know, make sure he didn't blow himself up?"_

The other Guardians looked at the skeleton oddly, as if that was the first time they'd ever heard him speak.

Veneratio then spoke, "It is indeed a sad day when _Vereor_ is the voice of reason." the samurai demon shook his head and proceeded toward the crater, followed by Affectus.

_"It's a sad day when you try to be funny!" _Vereor countered.

"That was not a joke."

_"Oh, whatever. Go polish your sword, asshole."_ Vereor turned to regard the two Commanders and the rest of the gawking spectators. _"One of you had better go get me another bag of chips, ASAP!"_

Neither D nor Hayabusa so much as blinked at the demand, but the Engineers and Butlers took a collective step back, then hightailed it back into the castle.

_"And they'd better be the spicy kind!" _Vereor yelled after them.

Fragilitas looked on with no interest whatsoever, then moved to join Veneratio and Affectus before a hand was placed on his right shoulder.

"What was that all about, anyway?" Morium asked.

**"We've seen Pondera angry before, but you...Don't take this the wrong way, but I didn't even know you could **_**do**_** 'angry'." **sure, the gasmask-wearing demon was sometimes offended when certain things were talked about, but he never really got mad.

Fragilitas just shrugged off Morium's hand and walked over to the edge of the crater without even looking at them.

"...Okay then." Morium shrugged, then followed after the smaller demon.

"It would seem that he's still a bit miffed." Ignotus said, then looked to the side as he noticed a random puddle of blood about three feet to his left. "Hm, and here I thought you had slept through that."

Out of the puddle rose Insontis, who wasn't particularly pleased, judging by his body language. The angry hiss he directed at Ignotus was also dead giveaway.

"Don't get mad at me; I didn't make Pondera use the Q-Bomb."

Another hiss, this time sounding less agitated and more confused.

"That's what he calls it. He claims it's from one of his favorite books."(7)

Insontis just nodded, then sank back into the puddle of blood, which sank back into the ground.

**"You can understand him?"** Reformo asked.

"Of course. I understand ALL languages."

**"Oh, right, I forgot about that. Well, at least I don't have to wonder why we keep you around anymore."**

"You're this close, Fishstick, _this _close."

Reformo only chuckled in response, then both he and Ignotus went to go help with the search effort.

Meanwhile, the Commanders were preparing to leave the demons to their devices once again when they heard a strange sound coming from the pitch black corridor that made up the back entrance/exit to the castle. While both Commanders had reached legendary status in their time, and had seen and/or fought virtually everything that both Earth and the Underworld had to offer, this sound caused shivers of dread to run down their spines.

_Screeeeeee-thump. Screeeeeee-thump._

The cringe-inducing sound of metal being dragged across stone, punctuated by the dull thud of large feet clad in heavy boots.

"Oh no," D muttered as his already pale skin adopted an even lighter shade of white, "they woke Sankaku up."(8)

(Naruto's Mindscape)

"And that takes care of my bug problem on the ground." Naruto chuckled as the final Jumper was cleanly sliced in two by a Gral.

While trying to kill the Arch-viles, Naruto decided to try something out. Like the demons, Naruto could also summon minions at will, and it stood to reason that his clones could do so as well. Vowing to smack himself later for not thinking of it sooner, Naruto had each clone that wasn't engaged in combat summon more allies from the Shadow Realm. The Arch-viles didn't last long once it was discovered that the clones could summon allies at a faster rate, and the opposition on the ground was quickly wiped out. All except the two Tanker bugs.

The solution to that problem had been discovered by a single clever Darkness Clone that had managed to jump into the back of one of the beetles without being picked off by something. It had used a Rasengan to bore through the insect's carapace, then had shoved the ball of energy under the creature's shell before jumping off and using the Rasen Tekidan to blow it up from the inside. The second was felled in an a similar, though far more entertaining manner.

The second clone happened to pierce through to the chamber in which the Tanker held its highly-flammable acidic liquid. In a stroke of devious genius, the clone had then moved to the top of a high tree, created a baseball-sized fireball in its hand and chucked it into the hole it had made in the beetle's shell. The resulting fireball was so impressive that it drew a whistle of appreciation from Shizaru, and even managed to incinerate some of the low-flying Jumper bugs.

And that's what gave Naruto the idea for the move that ended the battle. The Jumpers may have been some tough bugs, but they couldn't handle fire at all. So, after commanding his Grals to clear out of the area, Naruto had his remaining clones at all three outposts use their Fire and Wind affinities to create enormous burning tornados that reached up to the clouds. Every bug within two-hundred yards of any one of the cyclones was sucked in and consumed by the flames, and that turned out to be most of them.

Survivors were mopped up by the Grals, and even by Darkness Clones taking pot shots with projectile attacks from the ground.

"Looks like I win yet again." Naruto boasted.

_**"So it seems." **_Shizaru chuckled ominously. _**"I must admit that was a most impressive showing. I was expecting you to use the Corpser to destroy the Tankers, so kudos on a more creative approach. And that tornado...I haven't seen anything like that in a while, surprisingly. I think I'll give you two questions this time."**_

"...I wouldn't be much of a ninja if I didn't look a gift horse in the mouth. What gives?" Naruto replied, wondering just what angle the demon was playing.

_**"You've proven yourself to be more than a run-of-the-mill opponent, and that means this will be a game I can enjoy. That's put me in a good mood, and I'm feeling generous. But I must still implore you not to ask questions that could be answered just as easily by others; think before you speak."**_

"Well, first off, what's the 'Shadow Nexus'?"

_**"You already know that there are many Shadow Realms, and that none are the same. But they are all interconnected via the Shadow Nexus. Go for a little run in the Shadow Realm, and just keep heading straight, in any direction. You'll eventually come to a wall of stone, so high that you won't be able to see the top. There will be a large gate right in front of you, and a single road will lay beyond it. That road will lead you to the Shadow Nexus. **_

_**The Nexus itself is a gigantic city, several times larger than even Konohagakure, surrounded by hundreds of roads just like the one I just told you about. These roads serve as bridges between a Shadow Realm and the Nexus, but you can only travel on the road that leads back to your Shadow Realm. Choose one that's not yours, and something very...**_**unpleasant**_** will happen to you. However, this only applies to beings that aren't native to the realms. Shadow Beasts, like Grals, can travel any and all roads without problems; basically dimension-hopping at will." **_the Archdemon paused for a second. _**"...I take it you haven't met Yoruyonaka in person yet. She spends most of her time in the Nexus, where she can monitor every Shadow Realm without even lifting a finger."**_

"Good to know. I've got a few questions for her as well."

_**"Of course you do. Now, let's move on to your second question."**_

"Yeah, yeah, just give me a minute." Naruto riffled through every question he ever thought of asking, and sorted them out into different categories. And, after only thirty seconds, came up with one that he felt was important, and that only Shizaru himself would know the answer to. "What's the deal with the Namikaze compound?"

_**"Be specific."**_

"When I went there the first time with the others, we all felt something was...off about the place. They think it's haunted, and I can't say I totally disagree with them."

_**"They're right. Restless souls do still wander the Namikaze grounds, doing in death what they did in life. I did tell you that your father was the one who wiped out the clan, but he spared the servants. None of them were part of the clan; just slaves that they purchased and/or stole to see that things were always kept in immaculate condition. That said, the vast majority were female. Anyway, all servants were branded with a special seal on their foreheads when they were brought to the compound; a seal which the **__**Hyūga**__**'s Caged Bird mark is directly based on. The effects are essentially the same, with the seal destroying the victim's brain cells once activated.**_

_**Of course, Minato removed those seals immediately after killing the clan. However, what he didn't know was that, along with the seal, servants of the Namikaze clan had a tiny capsule implanted directly into their brains. These capsules were covered in seals that, when activated, would send out a single pulse of intense heat, upwards of two-thousand degrees Fahrenheit. It doesn't take a genius to figure out what that would do to a human brain. And unfortunately for the servants, one Namikaze had managed to cling to life, if just barely. This man was Namikaze Yamato, the acting Clanhead in my absence. As such, he was granted the knowledge of a special hand seal that would activate all of the capsules at once, and he used it. Minato was the only one to leave the grounds alive that night.**_

_**What he also didn't know was that the entire outer wall is painted with seals that create a soul-trapping forcefield over the entire compound. The souls of the Namikaze were collected long ago, but the servants were left behind, as there was no use for them."**_

"Oh, that's awesome. Now I've got angry ghosts haunting my property."

_**"You could always just let the Soul Edge eat them, if it hasn't already. Even as the Black Soul, the Soul Edge has the power to draw in and consume any ambient souls. But in its true form, that pull is increased several times over. The moment you transformed to fight the Corpser, the sword most likely devoured every soul that was trapped on the grounds. Pity, they probably could've told you things about the clan that not even I know." **_

"You've already told me enough to make me want nothing to do with them, and, from what I saw, the clan archives are full of their techniques. Beyond that, I couldn't care less about the Namikaze clan." Naruto finished with a derisive snort.

_**"You say that now, but I predict you'll be singing a different tune before too long."**_

"We'll see." Naruto responded, then went silent as he reviewed what he'd learned during the battle, and though of ways to apply it to new strategies. He was also thinking of designs for new creatures. 'Bugs, huh?'

(Kumogakure no Sato - Water Management Facility)

In the infirmary, Yugito sat in a chair next to the bed Naruto had been placed on, unconsciously toying with her long ponytail. That feeling of utter uselessness was creeping in again, bringing back nervous ticks that she'd thought long gone.

She didn't really know why she was still in the room. Sitting there, staring at Naruto most certainly wouldn't help, and the stench of his blood was overpowering. Jinzo Rouku, the facility's resident medic, had insisted on unwrapping the boy to see the extent of the damage. Yugito volunteered to do it after Naruto's cloak nearly bit Jinzo's hand off, but immediately regretted the decision. The moment she loosened the cloak, blood came flooding out in torrents, drenching Jinzo's pants and just barely missing Yugito.

Jinzo, in all his years as a field medic, had never seen anything like Naruto's present condition. It took several minutes just for Yugito to convince the man that the mangled pile of gore wasn't a corpse. Yet, anyway. Of course, Jinzo could do nothing for Naruto, and advised Yugito to just wrap him back up, more loosely this time, and hope that the storm would break soon so a medical team from Kumo could be dispatched.

That had been a good twenty minutes ago, and by now Naruto's blood covered more than half of the infirmary's floorspace. The smell alone was enough to make Yugito physically ill, but she couldn't bring herself to leave the boy's side.

"I'm sorry, Naruto..." Yugito murmured. "You wouldn't be in this mess if it wasn't for me."

Somewhere in the back of her mind, a small voice reminded her that she didn't force Naruto to aid her, or even befriend her in the first place. In fact, she gave him every reason to want nothing at all to do with her when they first met. Everything he did, he did of his own free will.

'But that doesn't change the fact that he was down there because of me...I handed Naruto right to those bastards!' Yugito thought furiously.

The voice had a response to that as well. It reminded her that the being who'd done that to Naruto wasn't a member of Akatsuki, evidenced by the fact that he wore none of their identifying attire, and had made no effort to capture Yugito or Naruto. The demon had said that it was "just business", so who was to say that he wouldn't have gotten to Naruto regardless of where he was?

'I...I need help...I can't deal with this on my own.' Yugito re-established the mental link between herself and the Nibi. 'Hello? Hinade?' there was no response. 'I'm sorry for how I behaved earlier...I just needed some time to think.' again, no answer. 'Please, Hinade...' Yugito pleaded desperately.

**"You have disappointed me, Nii Yugito." **the demoness finally spoke.

Yugito visibly flinched; Hinade only called her by her full name when she was truly angry.

'Hinade, I-'

**"Silence. You wouldn't listen beforrre, but you **_**will**_** listen now."** the calm, almost indifferent tone that the Nibi spoke with sent chills down Yugito's spine. It was actually scarier than when she screamed and roared. **"I taught you betterrr than this, girrrl. When you turrrned eighteen, you asked me to stop calling you 'Kitten', because you werrre an adult now. Do you think what you did rrreflects the behaviorrr of an adult? I'll admit that I may have gone a little overrrboard, but that harrrdly excuses yourrr conduct."**

Yugito was feeling smaller and smaller by the second. It had been years since she'd been truly scolded by her surrogate mother-figure, and never with this kind of subdued intensity.

'But I-'

**"Therrre you go again. Instead of listening, you feel the need to speak. Instead of admitting yourrr faults, you feel the need to justify them. Excuses arrre forrr the weak and the stupid; you arrre neitherrr. Now, let me out."** the Nibi ordered.

'What?'

**"Let. Me. Out."**

'...Why?' Yugito mentally squeaked, half afraid that the demoness wanted to physically punish her.

**"Help won't be coming until the storrrm passes, and that could take hourrrs. I'm not guarrranteeing anything, but I think I can do something about this storrrm. But to do that, I need to speak to someone, and I'd rrratherrr not do it from inside yourrr body." **Hinade explained.

'Who could you possibly need to speak to in order to stop a storm?'

**"The one who is causing the storrrms: Raikoku."**

'Raikoku?'

**"You'd know herrr as the Six-tailed Demon Lorrrd, the Rokubi."**

XXXX

And there you have it. Expect the next chapter to be sort of like this, with more talking than anything. I'll see what I can do in regards to spicing things up, but it will still be dialogue-driven. Hopefully, the lines I write are good enough to keep you guys interested for just a bit longer.

(1) This is the Arch-vile from the Doom 3 video game. If you want a picture, just look 'em up, as I haven't changed anything about the design, except giving them more menacing teeth and larger claws. I didn't even change the name, as I couldn't think of anything better than "Arch-vile".

(2) Many people already guessed it, but here's official confirmation: Shizaru was the one who created Naruto's cloak.

(3) Again, some people already guessed it, but here's official confirmation: the Nara and Namikaze clans are related.

(4) Naruto's actually killed five-hundred and twelve people, but the forty-five he killed on the way to Kumogakure(technically his minions' kills, but whatever)haven't been counted yet.

(5) Yes, the demonic insects Shizaru is using are based on the Arachnids from the first Starship Troopers movie. The Jumper is a significantly modified Hopper, and the Tanker is unchanged from the film. The Chameleon bug is of my own creation, but I did take the name from a bug caste that only appears in the "Roughnecks" animated TV series. I also used the name of the bugs' home planet, Klendathu, as the name of their race.

(6) Some have wondered why Shizaru is so indifferent to Naruto's condition, especially if Arcarian wants him alive. Now you know. Now, some of you might be thinking "Couldn't the Shinigami keep him out of Hell?". Yes, he can. See, like the other Original Gods, the Shinigami is forbidden from directly interacting with anyone or anything in the "Human World", unless certain conditions are met. However, once someone dies, they are no longer part of the "Human World", and they become fair game. The problem is getting to Naruto's soul before it's dragged down. But aren't the Gods supposed to be omnipotent? Well, that's another explanation for another chapter.

(7) Cookie to whoever can tell me what that book is. This one's pretty easy, but that's par for the course at this point, I think.

(8) Another cookie for whoever can correctly guess who "Sankaku" is.

I think that about covers everything from this chapter.

The Kumo Arc will continue for at LEAST one more chapter, and maybe part of the one after. After this arc, I'll have a single chapter devoted to showing how Konoha's Genin will be preparing for the Chūnin Exams, and then it's onto the exams themselves. I'd say the Exam Arc will last maybe four of five chapters, depending on what I decide to include. After the exams, there will be three more short arcs: Team Seven's Final Mission, Sasuke Retrieval and Find Tsunade. After that, I will completely stop following the canon storyline.

Like I said before, expect things to really pick up after the Kumo Arc.

Time to wrap this one up. If I missed anything(errors), or if you have any questions, you guys know what to do. Also, I'm open to suggestions for a better title for this chapter.

Jason Out!


	38. To Be A Demon

Hello, friends! How are you twisted individuals doing? Fantastic!

I'll tell you now, not much happening in this chapter, at least as far as action and plot progression goes. This is mostly fleshing out characters and providing a little background info. I've done my best to keep it entertaining, and hopefully it'll show.

Well, that's about it for now, so on with the story!

XXXX

Yugito's eyes widened and her mouth fell open in shock.

'It's not just a rumor? The Rokubi really is in Kaminari no Kuni?" Yugito asked.

**"Yes, and she has been forrr overrr a thousand yearrrs." **Hinade said quickly, starting to lose her patience with her host.

"Wow...So, Raikage-sama was right all along..." Yugito whispered.

**"Dead-on. Now, if you want to get Narrruto out of this place, I advise you to stop asking questions and rrrelease me. If I have to do it myself, you will be in forrr a LOT of pain." **

'Do it yourself?'

**"YUGITO!" **the Nibi roared, causing a sudden spike of intense pain in Yugito's head that nearly sent her to the floor.

'Alright, alright!' Yugito conceded.

A moment of concentration and a burst of freezing blue flames later, the Nibi no Nekomata became the room's third occupant. And this time, she wasn't dressed to impress. In fact, she looked for all the world like one of the "Marauder Girls" often featured in several of the adult magazines she'd seen in Raibu's apartment. The black riding boots, tight leather pants, unzipped leather jacket over a white tank top, leather gloves and short, "stylishly disheveled" hair.

She even appeared to be slightly older than she was the first time; maybe early twenties as opposed to late teens. Of course, she still had a body that could make a succubus jealous, but with more feline features. Most notably, a pair of ears on top of her head and a tail, both covered in fur in the same shade of blue as her hair.

And though Hinade's cat-like eyes were delivering a scathing glare, Yugito couldn't help but be reminded of someone else...

"...Why do you look like Kurohane?" the teen asked, subconsciously fidgeting under the demoness' gaze.

**"Hmph, she is imitating me, not the otherrr way arrround." **the Nibi replied curtly. **"Kurrrohane can't be morrre than fifty yearrrs old, and this has been my trrrademarrrk look forrr some five millennia now." **considering that she used to work for the Shinigami, Hinade wasn't at all surprised that a member of the Raven clan was mimicking her style.

She had suspected as much just from the Princess' outfit, but the scythe was the true giveaway. While Hinade's actual weapons of choice were a pair of shape-shifting Kusarigama with extendable/retractable chains, she had used a scythe briefly while she was waiting for those weapons to be completed. Famously, at least in the Spirit Realm, she had used a scythe to battle Minos(1), formerly one of the three Judges of the Dead. Somehow manipulated by the Shinigami's brother, the God of Chaos, Minos had begun to send every soul that came his way straight to Hell, regardless of whether or not they deserved it.

Once the Shinigami had noticed this, he sent Hinade to investigate. Though it happened nearly three-thousand years ago, tales of their battle were still told throughout the Spirit Realm, as far as Hinade knew. And, being that it was really the only thing Hinade herself was ever famous for, she was most often depicted as a scythe-wielding catgirl clad in black leather. That said, she highly doubted that Kurohane's attire and weapon were mere coincidence.

"Right...So, what, exactly, are you going to do?"

**"I told you, I'm going to talk to Rrraikoku." **the Nibi replied, still glaring.

"W-What should I d-do?" Yugito gulped, the catgirl's harsh look finally getting to her.

**"You've done quite enough alrrready, don't you think?" **Hinade all but growled. **"But, if you want something to do, you can sit rrright therrre, shut up and act norrrmal. You can handle that, can't you?" **the demoness then disappeared in a flash of blue flame.

Yugito said nothing. She sat back in her chair, tucked her legs in and wrapped her arms around them, then rested her head on her knees and began gently rocking back and forth. Originally, it was a habit developed as a way for Yugito to keep warm when the Sandaime Raikage decided to leave her out in the forest, or up in the mountains for "survival training". Then it developed into a way for her to shut out the world when the man would put her in "The Hole" for disobeying orders, often for days at a time with no food and little water.

Once again, Yugito found that she wasn't as "grown up" as she thought. Yes, she was a strong, proud and independent young woman; but the scared, lonely, vulnerable little girl from years past wasn't exactly dead and buried.

(Outside The Water Management Facility)

Hinade looked out from under the cover of the facility's main entrance and frowned deeply.

**"Maybe this wasn't such a good idea..." **she mumbled to herself as she watched the rain come down as if it were being dumped from a bottomless bucket.

And as if that wasn't bad enough, there was still the pseudo-sentient lightning to worry about. While it wouldn't kill her, even in her significantly weakened state, a good bolt or two could certainly knock her out for a few hours. Not to mention it would hurt like a bitch.

**"Ugh. This is going to suck, plain and simple." **with a heavy sigh, the Nibi steeled her resolve and set out into the raging storm.

The second she stepped out from the cover the building provided, it was like she had just fallen into a river. The water soaked her instantly, and the howling winds might as well have been a strong current, eager to carry her off to her doom. But Hinade didn't waver even an inch. She owed Kyuubi a lot, probably more than she even knew, and even Naruto himself had done her a great service by helping Yugito. And if Hinade learned anything in her time as the Two-tailed Demon Lord, it was that debts were to be paid; no exceptions.

Even the vile Hachibi bent to that rule, though he often killed those he owed debts to after he repaid them.

So, the Nibi marched on through the storm and disappeared into the tree line.

(Naruto's Mindscape)

Naruto had successfully taken every settlement within Fire Country's borders, and had set up a secondary stronghold in the Tanzaku Quarters, a few miles Southwest from Konoha. But the fact that he hadn't seen hide nor...carapace of Shizaru's forces put him on edge.

'I'm not letting him get off another ambush.' Naruto thought, remembering what happened after the last lull in the action. 'He's probably expecting this on some level, but I think I'll bring the fight to him nonetheless.' and so, Naruto geared up his army for an assault.

However, just rushing in wasn't a viable option. Naruto wanted to test borders and defenses, hoping to draw out any nasty surprises and make plans to counter them without damaging his main forces. The first test would consist of a simple platoon of Darkness Clones and Hellhounds. Naruto wanted to see if they would be able to cross the Tsuchi no Kuni border, and how far they could get if they managed that.

Worst case scenario: the platoon would be wiped out as soon as they even came near the border. If that happened, at least he'd probably get a look at whatever killed them, as well as an idea of the enemy's power and/or numbers. So, even if the worst happened, the results would still be useful.

Best case scenario: the platoon would make it to the border without incident, and get at least a few miles into enemy territory. Perhaps a couple might even get close enough to Iwagakure for Naruto to get an accurate picture as to what was going on there. Iwa was already heavily fortified on its own, but it would be nice to see what Shizaru had done to beef up security.

'Let's get this show on the road.' Naruto thought as his "test platoon" moved out from an outpost some ten miles from the Earth Country border.

Within minutes, Naruto's platoon had reached the border of Kusagakure, the small country situated directly between Hi no Kuni and Tsuchi no Kuni. There, they were suddenly, and somewhat predictably, attacked by Specters and Demolishers in numbers rivaling their own. Fortunately, these were enemies Naruto and his army had great experience in dispatching, and lost only two clones and a Hellhound in the battle. From there, the platoon traveled across Kusagakure, encountering only light resistance. However, a couple of Hellhounds had been devoured whole by Earth Country's notorious "Death Worms". But when they came to a deep canyon, carved over centuries by a mighty river than had long since been diverted by a manmade dam, all hell broke loose.

Specters, Demolishers and Arch-viles came charging at them from all directions, quickly surrounding Naruto's soldiers and picking them off one by one. Fortunately, a small gap was still open in the enemy formation, and Naruto's platoon went for it. Unfortunately, the gap led them right into the canyon, effectively sealing their fate.

But it wasn't the demons and the Shadow Beasts that did them in. No, it was the massive horde of giant insects that came pouring out of holes that suddenly opened up in the walls of the canyon. Their similarity to the "Jumper" bugs led Naruto to figure that these were the "Warriors" Shizaru had told him about earlier. They were bulkier and seemed more heavily armored than their flying brethren, and had six legs as opposed to eight. Four of the appendages were used for walking, though looked more than sharp enough to be used as weapons. The foremost pair, like the Jumpers, was folded up along the side of the bug's head, ready and waiting to impale anything that the bug had its eyes on. That is, if its gigantic, scissor-like mandibles didn't do the job first.

_**"These are the Warriors I told you about." **_Shizaru said, sounding distinctly amused. _**"Your little group had a good run, but it ends here." **_

True to the demon's words, Naruto's platoon was hit hard and fast, overwhelmed and slaughtered without putting up much of a fight at all.

_**"Warriors exist solely for ground combat, and have evolved perfectly to suit that role. Their armor is far tougher than the Jumpers', and they are physically several times stronger. But that doesn't count for much, as they're still quite weak in the grand scheme of things. But they're absolutely lethal as a swarm, and I've got literally **_**millions**_** of them." **_Shizaru chuckled. _**"Ah, I can hear the cogs turning from here."**_

Indeed, Naruto's mind was running a million miles an hour, figuring out ways to use this new information to his advantage. However, the fact that his platoon never made it into Earth Country didn't escape him. The canyon, Naruto realized, was Tsuchi no Kuni's main supply route; basically the front door to the country. There was no wondering why it was so heavily defended, even in real life.

If he wanted to make any progress, he'd need to find another way in.

'Hmm...I don't think numbers are going to do it; he's always going to have the advantage on that front.' Naruto then remembered his first run-in with the Arch-viles and had a "lightbulb moment". 'If I could get just one clone into his territory, I could have it open a portal to the Shadow Realm and have hundreds of troops right at his doorstep in an instant...The problem is just getting one there in the first place.'

With the amount of soldiers Shizaru apparently had at his disposal, Naruto didn't think it was an exaggeration to say that every square inch of Tsuchi no Kuni was being constantly monitored and/or patrolled by something. He would need one hell of a distraction in order to infiltrate the country, and that would only be about one-fourth of the battle.

(Zombie Brothers' Hideout)

With the storm still raging outside, Kakuzu found that he had absolutely nothing to do in the cave, beyond desecrating Hidan's "corpse". This was done by sewing various body parts together, and Kakuzu had no qualms about twisting and breaking limbs to achieve ridiculous and unnatural poses. However, there was only so much he could do before the novelty wore off, and he'd get no entertainment out of the pictures he took until he showed them to the rest of the Akatsuki members.

After that, the patchwork sociopath had taken to reviewing his battle with the Two-tails Jinchuuriki. He discovered that his defeat stemmed from the fact that he relied too heavily on intel. After having dead-on information on all of his targets for decades, he'd begun to take it for granted and automatically assumed that his intel was top-notch.

The information he had acquired indicated that the Nibi's vessel would barely provide a decent challenge, let alone a legitimate threat. And he had been confident in his ability to adapt to and overcome any aces the girl had up her sleeve. Kakuzu had grown complacent in his own power, as well as the quality of the information he gathered, and had been caught completely off guard by the Jinchuuriki's abilities.

"Hmm...Even so, I'll still be paying that councilman a little _visit_ before we depart from this accursed country." Kakuzu grumbled to himself before standing up. "Might as well report this to Leader-sama..." he frowned behind his mask, knowing that the Leader wouldn't be happy with the news. "Just so you know, I'm blaming the majority of this clusterfuck on you." he said to Hidan.

Of course, the Jashinist didn't respond. Even if he was conscious, his bottom lip had been stretched out grotesquely and sewn to his forehead, and his tongue was sewn to the tip of his nose. His hands were sewn to his ears, and his right leg had been broken at the knee and twisted up and back so his foot could be sewn to his chest. His left leg was untouched, since Kakuzu couldn't think of anything to do with it.

Kakuzu walked to the very back of the cave and held his right hand in front of his chest in a half Ram seal.

"Kai." he muttered, and the wall of stone wavered and pulsed, revealing itself to be a mere illusion.

When the Genjutsu lifted, a massive boulder stood in place of the natural cave wall. On the boulder, a large piece of paper with the kanji for "Forbidden" written on it. This piece of paper acted in concert with four identical copies, each hidden in different places within a mile of the cave, to create a Five Seal Barrier.

Kakuzu sent out a small pulse of his chakra, causing the seal to glow bright red for a few seconds before the boulder rose off the ground and into the ceiling of the cave. As he walked into the hidden chamber, Kakuzu sighed heavily when he heard a set of familiar voices. He didn't want to have to explain his situation to _everyone_.

_"And then this guy comes running out of the house and starts screaming, 'That was my wife!' and crying and cursing me out like nobody's business, un."_ a male voice said, sounding like it was coming from a radio.

_"What'd you do?" _another male voice, deeper and rougher than the first, asked.

_"That's just it, I didn't do anything! I just kinda stood there, listening to him rant and rave. I swear, he didn't stop for nearly ten minutes, and when he did he just looked up at me, still crying. After all that, all I could say was, 'That was a woman?'."_ the first voice spoke again, followed by a loud, barking laugh from one person and quiet snickers from at least three others.

_"She didn't look _that_ bad, Deidara." _came a deep, raspy voice.

_"Sasori, my man, if she wore one of our robes and a facemask, you could've mistaken her for Kakuzu, un."_

Kakuzu twitched.

_"You do know that he can hear you, right?"_

_"Yeah, and?"_

"...The next time we meet, expect to get your ass kicked." Kakuzu growled.

_"What I said was actually something of a compliment, but I look forward to seeing you try all the same, un." _Deidara, or rather Deidara's oil-slick-rainbow projection, taunted.

_"Enough." _the voice of Akatsuki's leader rang out, causing them all to snap to attention. _"We have been awaiting your arrival for some time now, Kakuzu."_

"Forgive me, Leader-sama, our mission ran into some...complications."

_"'Complications'?"_

"We are unable to capture the Nibi's host; she proved to be a great deal more powerful and skilled than intelligence suggested, and she had back-up."

_"Interesting...Go on." _the Leader ordered, his grey, multi-ringed eyes staying locked onto Kakuzu.

"We..._Hidan_ set a trap for the Jinchuuriki in an isolated area, outside of Kumogakure, that she was known for frequent. The trap worked, but we had no way of knowing that she had someone with her, who was also caught by the trap. Unfortunately, that someone happened to be the Jinchuuriki of the Kyuubi no Kitsune." Kakuzu turned his head to look at the two who had been assigned to that particular Bijū vessel.

_"What? Don't look at us that way; we _just_ got assigned to him. We had no way of knowing where he was." _the taller of the two, in fact the tallest member of Akatsuki period, defended.

_"Kisame is correct; even Sasori's spies routinely lose track of him." _the shorter figure nodded, his fully-matured Sharingan eyes locked onto Kakuzu in a manner similar to the Leader's.

_"The Kyuubi Jinchuuriki is notoriously difficult to keep tabs on." _the large, hunched figure next to Deidara said.

_"Back to the matter at hand." _the Leader said, obviously not one for mundane conversation. _"I assume that the Jinchuuriki managed to split you and Hidan up and defeated you both in single combat?"_

"I can say for myself that was the case, but not for Hidan." Kakuzu said, thinking back to the mysterious and terrifying being he'd met in the sewers.

_"Explain."_

"The Nibi's vessel defeated me handily, but I managed to escape. However, when I got to Hidan, I found him unconscious, having been drowned, and the Kyuubi's vessel was..." Kakuzu paused, trying to find a way to word what he'd seen in a way that would make the Leader _less_ furious. "Mutilated." he couldn't think of any.

_"...Are you telling me that Hidan _killed_ a Jinchuuriki?" _as predicted, the Leader's blood was beginning to boil. The Kyuubi, being the most powerful of the Bijū, was also the most important to Akatsuki's goals.

If the Yondaime Hokage's seal worked like they thought it did, then the Kyuubi would die along with its host. And if the Kyuubi was dead, then there was almost no point in going after the others, which would leave the entire organization without a purpose.

"Not Hidan; someone or some_thing_ else was down there with us. He was there when I found Hidan and the Kyuubi vessel, and I doubt it was a coincidence. I don't really know how to describe it, but he had this..._aura_ about him that was just downright frightening. He wasn't human, I know that much."

_"Hmm...Describe him."_

"He was around Kisame's height, about six-foot-six, but had a leaner build. He wore a robe similar to ours, but all black and with a hood instead of a high collar. I couldn't see his face at all."

_"Wait a minute...did he speak sort of like Itachi; monotonous, no feeling or emotion, but with a weird, creepy undertone?" _Deidara asked.

"That's about right, but he sounded somewhat bored when he spoke to me." Kakuzu nodded.

_"Then I think I saw that same guy last week at a small dango shop two miles West of Rice Country. He just came out of nowhere and asked me what time it was." _Deidara's form shuddered. _"Only person I've ever met that's creepier than Zetsu, un."_

The figure that looked like a giant venus flytrap turned slightly in Deidara's direction, but didn't say anything.

_"...Kisame, didn't you say that you saw someone matching that description a month ago when we were in Tanigakure?"_

_"Hey, that's right, I have seen that guy before! Yeah, I had just found this little hole-in-the-wall restaurant that served _awesome_ crab cakes. I ordered a plate and turned around to see this guy standing two feet away from me, just staring at me. He kept it up for a good twenty seconds, then said 'Nice sword' and vanished. And I don't mean Body Flicker or anything like that; I mean that I blinked and he was gone. Heh, to be honest, I thought it was a ghost until just now." _Kisame chuckled.

_"That would explain why you didn't leave after the encounter..."_ the much shorter figure next to Kisame said.

_"Come on, Itachi, I bought you some of those crab cakes, remember? I think you'd agree that those things trump ghosts any day of the week."_

Itachi just nodded slowly, already planning a trip back to Tanigakure in the near future.

_"We should look into this; it can't be a mere coincidence." _Sasori suggested. _"A week before he defected, one of my spies saw a man matching these descriptions speaking to Orochimaru. Until now, I thought it was just another one of his lackeys."_

_"...Wait, you have your spies following your own teammates?!" _Deidara hissed.

_"Not specifically, but if they happen to see you out and about, and I'm not with you, they may take it upon themselves to tail you and report their findings." _the puppet master replied.

The Leader then cleared his throat loudly, putting a halt to any further conversation.

_"Sorry, Leader-sama." _Deidara and Sasori chorused.

The Leader just snorted and shook his head slightly, while the shorter figure next to him rolled its steel-grey eyes and muttered something under its breath.

_"We will look into this, but our primary concern remains the same. Kakuzu, you showed up just before I was going to call for you to attend this meeting." _the Leader sighed. _"The fact that yo__u failed to capture the Nibi Jinchuuriki is of no consequence now, seeing as how the Kū Ring we obtained turned out to be another fake."_

"Damn." Kakuzu muttered. "So, Orochimaru still has the real one?"

_"We don't know. From what Sasori's spies and Zetsu have been able to find, Orochimaru still has the hand that Itachi cut off, and it still wears the ring. However, that very ring is the one that we acquired."_

_"This leads us down two possible avenues." _the figure next to the Leader, Akatsuki's only female member, spoke for the first time. _"Either Orochimaru himself planted the fake, and still has the real ring; or even he didn't know it wasn't real, which is the worst-case scenario."_

_"If Orochimaru didn't know it wasn't real, then we are at square zero, gentlemen." _the Leader said, his eyes scanning over everyone present. _"Without that ring, we won't be able to seal the __Bijū__, which makes going after them and the Jinchuuriki a pointless waste of resources and man power."_(2)

"So, are we to drop whatever we're doing and search for the ring?" Kakuzu asked.

_"No, we will still be taking missions; the organization still needs funding, afterall. But finding that ring is now our top priority. Be on the lookout for any information regarding its whereabouts. If you discover any leads, you have permission to abort any task to check it out."_

_"And do try to be subtle about it, will you? We don't want the true importance of the rings getting out. If our enemies were to find out, they would either try to use it as leverage against us, or destroy it and ruin our entire operation." _Konan added.

_"But don't our rings have protection seals on them?" _Kisame asked, looking at his own ring.

_"Yes, but do not forget that our most formidable enemy has one of the greatest seal masters in the world at their disposal." _the Leader pointed out. _"The protection seal Sasori and I developed is indeed very powerful, but if anyone could break it, it would be Jiraiya of the Sannin."_

_"Then...shouldn't we kill him, un?" _Deidara asked, lightly scratching his head.

He was suddenly the victim of icy glares from every member of Akatsuki.

_"Before he has chosen an apprentice to carry on the Icha Icha Empire? I think not." _surprisingly, it was Konan who said this.

_"...'Icha Icha Empire'? What the hell is that?" _Deidara asked, his head cocked in confusion.

_"Deidara...You dare preach to others about 'true art', yet you are unfamiliar with the works of Jiraiya-sama?!" _Sasori snarled.

_"Tch, I should shave your face off." _Kisame snorted.

_"Were you not so useful, I'd have your status as an Akatsuki member revoked." _the Leader all but growled. _"But I do believe in second chances. Sasori, educate him."_

_"Of course, Leader-sama. Come, Deidara, you have much to learn." _and with that, the images of both Sasori and Deidara disappeared.

_"We need to improve the screening process." _Kisame shook his head.

_"We have a screening process?" _Itachi turned to his partner with a raised eyebrow.

_"...We need to develop a screening process."_ Kisame corrected.

_"Speaking of people whose qualifications are questionable, where's Hidan?" _Itachi asked.

_"Heh, burn." _Kisame snickered.

"Hidan's dead...You know, for the time being." Kakuzu shrugged.

_"Oh yeah, you said he was drowned. Wait, wouldn't you normally have restarted his heart by now?" _Kisame questioned as he scratched his chin.

"Normally, yes; but the Nibi Jinchuuriki managed to overload my Lightning heart and it was destroyed. With this storm, I can't risk going outside to acquire another one. She also destroyed my Water heart."

_"Wow, she took two of your hearts?" _Kisame whistled. _"Maybe this delay in our plans is a good thing."_

The Leader turned to look at Kisame, as did the rest of the Akatsuki members. _"Hm?"_

_"Think about it. If a mere Jinchuuriki, the Nibi's no less, managed to do that to Kakuzu, how do you think the rest of us will fair against the demons themselves? That three-tailed shark was no joke; and it wasn't even a Demon Lord!"_

It was true, the very first "Bijū" the organization had attempted to capture had killed two of the original members and nearly Kisame himself, who had been a new recruit at the time, as well as their main spy within Kirigakure. After he took it down, it was discovered that the beast wasn't the Three-Tails itself, but its companion, "Samehada": a gigantic, three-tailed shark with the ability to "eat" chakra and youki. However, as a reward for proving himself a worthy member of Akatsuki, Kisame was allowed to keep the demon to do what he pleased with it.

In the end, he chose to have the shark's soul sealed into his sword, and its chakra sealed into himself. This resulted in their current appearance and abilities.(3)

"He does have a point, Leader-sama." Kakuzu said. "Perhaps this time can also be spent finding better ways of locating and capturing the Bijū. I mean, let's face it, our current way of doing things has met with...mixed results." that was being polite about it.

_"True...We cannot afford a repeat of the Yonbi debacle." _in a rare moment of outward frustration, the Leader sighed heavily and ran a hand through his spiky hair.

_"If it's not difficult, then chances are it's not worth doing." _Konan said, attempting to console her partner in her own way.

"If it's easy, then it's likely a set-up." Kakuzu dropped a little pearl of wisdom.

_"Words to live by." _Kisame said, adding a sagely nod for emphasis.

_"Hm. Well, since there is nothing else for us to do, I suppose we will be returning to the base." _Itachi said, noting that Zetsu was already gone.

"Hidan and I won't be able to leave this cave until the storm passes, and from what I've heard, that can either be ten minutes or ten hours from now." Kakuzu said, obviously annoyed at his predicament.

_"As soon as the storm lets up, move out and don't stop until you're out of Lightning Country." _

"Understood, Leader-sama." Kakuzu bowed, then turned to leave.

_"Wait, Kakuzu." _Itachi called out suddenly.

"Yes?" Kakuzu turned to regard the shorter man.

_"The Kyuubi Jinchuuriki...do you know what happened to him?" _

_"Hm, I almost forgot about him. You said he had been mutilated, correct?" _the Leader returned his attention to the oldest member of Akatsuki, barely registering Konan's departure.

"Yes, but the...man that I saw in the sewers assured me that he was still alive. Honestly, I didn't see how that was possible, considering the kid's condition."

_"...If anyone could've survived something like that, it would be a Jinchuuriki. In fact, the intelligence we've gathered suggests that the Kyuubi's Jinchuuriki has a history of surviving quite grievous injuries. I'll have Zetsu look into it." _the Leader shrugged nonchalantly.

Considering that he had been furious at the prospect of Hidan having killed the Kyuubi's vessel, this was a very odd turnaround. Kisame, Itachi and Kakuzu took note of it, but chose to remain silent on the matter.

_"...What was he like?" _Itachi spoke again, looking at Kakuzu with the kind of subtle intensity that was one of his trademarks. _"The Kyuubi's Jinchuuriki, I mean."_

"He is incredibly powerful for someone so young, and the way he carries himself suggest that he is an experienced fighter and killer. He's also got quite a mouth on him." Kakuzu chuckled slightly as he remembered what the masked boy said to Hidan. "When you encounter him, do not take him lightly. Hidan can tell you more about his fighting style and abilities, but I know that he can pull off some devastating Ninjutsu attacks and he's skilled in Kenjutsu."

That last part caught Kisame's interest. _"Kenjutsu, eh? Sounds like it'll be a good fight. What kind of blade does he use?"_

"A black odachi; four-foot blade, one-foot handle. He also carries it without a harness, or anything else attached to his person."

_"Ah, free carry? Intel says that he's not particularly tall, so that would make drawing such a long blade easier. Any idea what style he was using?"_

"Not one that I recognized, but, again, you'd have to ask Hidan about it to get any real details...That is, if he even bothered to commit anything to memory."

_"...We really do need a screening process."_ Itachi drawled.

_"Perhaps, but, for now, we've got far more important matters to attend to." _the Leader said.

To anyone else, there was nothing special about his tone. But to the three members of Akatsuki still present, the subtle changes in the pitch and tone of his voice were dead giveaways. When he said "we", what he really meant was that _he_ had more important matters to attend to.

_"Kisame and I will be at the base within an hour, and I think I speak for both of us when I request that you put up a sound suppression seal in your room." _Itachi said, his right eye twitching ever so slightly.

_"...I'll think about it." _the Leader then disappeared, along with Kisame and Itachi, as the Astral Projection technique was cancelled.

Now alone in the secret cavern, Kakuzu chuckled to himself. "After all this time, why am I still surprised by their behavior?"

Kakuzu had been the first of its current members to join the Akatsuki eleven years ago. This was a few years after the organization had gone from a group of Amegakure shinobi trying to end the Third Great Shinobi War by means of peace negotiations, to the most efficient and powerful band of mercenaries/criminals ever assembled. By the time he had joined, only three of the original Ame shinobi remained, though Kakuzu didn't see how.

The three Ame shinobi were no-names, not even in the Bingo Books, and were screw-ups of the highest order. For two of them, that penchant for botching missions and ruining plans resulted in their deaths at the hands of Kakuzu, who literally tore them apart in fits of blind rage. Neither the Leader or Konan seemed to mind him killing two of their last three remaining companions. In fact, they didn't seem to care about any of the thirteen partners he had killed to-date. They once berated him for killing his partners faster than they could find replacements, but that was the extent of it.

However, this latest crew was full of keepers, Hidan aside. There were some understandably rocky starts, as was to be expected when egos clashed. Like Orochimaru stalking Itachi, and Deidara picking fights with Itachi, and Kisame threatening to kill Itachi in his sleep, Sasori wanting a Sharingan-wielding puppet, and Kakuzu drooling over the bounty Konoha had on Itachi's head...But, with the exception of Orochimaru, everyone had worked out their differences after a year or two.

Sure, they still bickered all the time, but they no longer wanted to kill one another. Once they all found their niche within the organization, most of the feuds were put to rest, most notably between Kisame and Itachi. And with the bad blood between them gone, each member noticeably loosened up, letting more of their personal quirks show.

Of course, for the most part, they were all a bunch of hardasses, as Kisame put it. Serious almost to a fault, usually only laughing and smiling when it served to creep out/taunt an opponent. Understandable, considering what they did on a daily basis. Being serious on-the-job was a must, and being an Akatsuki member wasn't exactly a part-time thing.

"Oh well, looks like we're going to be getting a bit more downtime from now on." Kakuzu said as he walked out of the cavern and allowed the boulder to fall back into place before reactivating the Genjutsu that concealed it.

As he walked back into the main campsite, Kakuzu was confronted with a very odd sight. The three Mud Clones he'd made to watch the entrance were shirking their duties, opting instead to play "hot potato" with Hidan's hilariously-contorted body.

One of the clones happened to catch sight of the man out of the corner of its eye and froze in its tracks, allowing Hidan's body to fall to the ground. The other two clones started to complain, then snapped to attention when they, too, saw their creator.

"Sorry, Boss, but, uh..." the clone closest to Kakuzu scratched the back of its head sheepishly. "Kinda figured that guarding the entrance was a moot point."

Kakuzu glared at the clones for a few seconds, then shrugged and looked down at the "corpse" at his feet.

"...Let me show you fools how it's done." and with that, Kakuzu kicked Hidan's body up into the air and gave it a solid headbutt that sent it sailing back towards the clones.(4)

(With The Nibi)

**'I just had to come to Lightning Countrrry, didn't I?' **Hinade though as she trudged through the forest, using the trees as cover from the wind and the lightning.

If not for a minor youki shroud, she likely would've been waterlogged by now. Even with the dense canopy, the rain was still coming down in sheets, as if there were a bunch of monkeys dumping buckets of water from above.

But it didn't much matter to Hinade at this point. Sure, she would complain about it, but she wouldn't let it stop her, or even slow her down. All she had to do was find a good-sized clearing and she'd be in business.

Luckily, she soon found one, though it wasn't exactly a natural one. The craters and cracks in the ground, and the uprooted and/or broken trees testified to that. It took a few seconds, but the Nibi eventually recognized it as the place Naruto and his clones had used as a training ground the previous day.

**'Well, this is actually betterrr than what I'd hoped forrr.' **in such a dense forest, finding a natural clearing as large or larger than this one was like finding a winning lottery ticket lying on the ground.

Now came the hard part: getting Raikoku's attention without getting the humans'. A youki pulse was a surefire way to get both, but that would undoubtedly create unnecessary problems for Yugito. A good, earth-shaking roar was a close second, but Hinade doubted that she could produce a sound close enough to thunder to fool the people of Kumogakure.

**'Wait, they prrrobably won't even hearrr it! All of Kumo's buildings have at least some soundprrroofing, and all the wind and thunderrr should do a decent job of masking the sound at theirrr end.'** assured of her decision, Hinade sucked in as much air as she could, then unleashed what might have been her best roar to-date. In her human form, at least.

The sound carried for miles, even in the storm, and Hinade was certain the Rokubi had heard it. Now all she had to do was wait for the former phoenix to show up. Afterall, it's not like the bird had anything better to do; the storm itself was an indicator of that.

The Nibi didn't have to wait long. Just over five minutes had passed before she felt a youki signature that absolutely dwarfed her own, even at full power. Up above, the storm started to exhibit some fairly odd behavior. Lightning would shoot from the clouds, only to be drawn back up and into another cloud. And all the lightning appeared to be going to one specific cloud; which was moving cross the sky, against the wind, at a high rate of speed.

As it got closer, Hinade's keen eyes were able to make out a distinct head, body, a pair of massive wings, and six long, smoke-like wisps trailing behind. The gigantic bird circled in the sky above the clearing for over a minute, creating a funnel cloud that had the Nibi wondering if her fellow Bijū was trying to bring a tornado down on her.

Those worries were assuaged when the creature suddenly went into a dive; then all-new fears reared their ugly heads.

**'Uh-oh.' **Hinade had a good idea as to what was about to happen and used her youki to stick herself to the ground, then hunkered down as low as she could.

As one of the Shinigami's agents, Hinade had experience with the Raven clan; Lord Garandou especially. While he could change his size at will, the soul-eating avian wouldn't allow himself to be seen in anything other than his true form as a matter of pride. Normally, this would've made landing a tedious affair in heavily wooded areas like the Great Phoenix Forest. Garandou's remedy for this was to go into a dive towards the chosen landing site, pull up at the last second and use a single, incredibly powerful flap of his immense wings to clear the area of any objects.

It was damn effective. The force of the wind generated by the maneuver could actually flatten the ground, send multi-ton boulders flying, and uproot even the largest of trees. It goes without saying that it did wonders for clearing out enemies as well.

Sure enough, as the huge cloud-bird neared the ground, it pulled up and a single flap of its wings unleashed a blast of wind nearly rivaling one of the Ichibi's Wind Shear attacks. The only things that remained stationary were firmly planted to the ground and lacked enough surface area for the wind to push against.

With an almighty crash, the Rokubi's feet touched down, again similar to Lord Garandou's preferred method of landing.

**'Forrr someone who bitches and moans so much about being a demon, she surrre seems to have embrrraced the "Menacing Entrrrance"...' **Hinade thought as she stood up and brushed the dust and debris from her clothing and hair.

**"Who dares challenge me?!"** the Rokubi boomed.

**"Well, someone's in a foul mood..." **the Nibi had to stop herself from giggling at the unintended pun. **"Bad choice of worrrds, I know."**

**"...Hinade..." **the bird demon narrowed its glowing white eyes.

**"Glad you rrrememberrr me. And could you quit with the "Big Bad Demon" voice? It's just plain irrritating." **Hinade frowned. She never understood why so many high-level demonesses felt the need to sound like their male counterparts.

Yeah, it worked wonders on the sexist humans who tended to automatically assume that everything powerful was male, but beyond that the "B.B.D.V." had no use at all. Yet Hinade had met hundreds of demonesses that basically lived their entire lives posing as members of the opposite sex, even in the company of their own kind.

**"What do you want?" **Raikoku demanded, her voice taking on a slightly more feminine tone.

**"Well, hello to you, too." **Hinade huffed. True, she wasn't here to make small talk, but she counted Raikoku as a friend and was somewhat offended by her rudeness.

**"It's been nearly three-hundred years since we last saw one another." **the Rokubi reminded. **"Since then, I've been completely alone up here. No one visits me anymore, no one comes to pay tribute, and the only worshippers I have now are creepy cultists!" **

As a phoenix, Raikoku had been accustomed to being revered and beloved by mankind. In the past, humans had built entire shrines just for her, and catered to her every whim. The finest foods from all over the world were brought to her, along with gifts of the brightest gemstones that could be found(5). When she flew over human settlements, people used to run from their homes and crowd the streets, staring up into the sky with wide eyes and dropped jaws. Mere glimpses of her magnificent form became the subject of stories passed down through generations, getting more and more fantastic with each iteration.

Now, as a Bijū, humans cowered in fear at the mere mention of her name. Her fly-overs now cleared streets instead of filling them. Tales involving her usually included "eye-witness accounts" of her swooping down and plucking humans from the ground as snacks. Blessings became curses, and the bedtime stories parents would tell their children went from the stuff of fairy tails, to the stuff of nightmares. Instead of telling children that the great Phoenix would bless them if they good, adults told them that the wicked Rokubi would devour them if they were bad.

Hinade sighed; Raikoku still lived in the past.

**"I know I haven't been the grrreatest frrriend, but I'm morrre than willing to make up forrr lost time; laterrr. Rrright now, time isn't a luxurrry I've got." **

**"Hmph, figures. After three centuries, my only 'friend' comes to visit; only because she wants something." **the Rokubi snorted.

**"I'm sorrry, okay? What morrre do you want me to say? I like to trrravel and explorrre, you know that." **it was a lame excuse, and Hinade knew it.

**"I do know that, but I thought you would've made some time for your friends in your oh, so **_**busy**_** 'schedule'. You even told me you'd come to visit, but I guess that was a lie." **the Rokubi scoffed. **"That's what we demons do, is it not? Lie, cheat and deceive."**

**"I didn't tell you that I'd visit; I **_**prrromised**_**. You know as well as I do that a demon's worrrd is theirrr bond. We follow thrrrough on ourrr prrromises, and we pay ourrr debts." **Hinade growled, taking issue with the accusations.

**"That doesn't change the fact that YOU did NOT follow through on your promise! Perhaps it is the fact that you began as a different being, but your 'word' is a good as garbage, in my experience."**

The Nibi growled, but held back the string of vulgarity that was howling to be unleashed upon the other demoness. She didn't come here to make Raikoku even angrier, and besides that; by default, the Rokubi was orders of magnitude stronger than her.

The mere fact that Hinade hadn't been zapped into oblivion was an indication that Raikoku wasn't as angry as she appeared to be.

**'I hope...'** Hinade sighed as she looked up into the eyes of the three-hundred foot tall bird. She idly noted that the purple arcs of electricity that streaked across the Rokubi's body occasionally illuminated the skeletal structure within. The effect was incredibly unnerving. **"Look, I didn't come herrre to get into it with you, okay? You want to know why I haven't visited? It's because I've been in hiding forrr most of those thrrree-hundrrred yearrrs."**

**"Hiding?" **the Rokubi cocked her massive head to the side in confusion. **"From who?"**

**"The Shinigami." **

**"I thought he was your superior?"**

**"He is...Was...I don't rrreally know anymorrre." **Hinade rubbed her right arm nervously. **"See, unlike you, I've learrrned to live with being a ****Bijū****. In fact, I love it! The powerrr, the frrreedom, I was intoxicated by it all. Thrrrough the centurrries, I had forrrgotten that it was only a temporrrary gig, until a legitimate rrreplacement for the Nibi could be found. When the Shinigami came to inforrrm me that time was up, I wouldn't hearrr it. Instead, I found the demon who was supposed to be my rrrplacement and killed him, hoping to show that I was morrre deserrrving of the title. **

**My insuborrrdination had a heavy prrrice. The Shinigami decided that I had been corrrupted by the powerrr of the ****Bijū****, and came to take me back by forrrce and wipe my memorrries. So, rrran. Since then, I've been alterrrnating between rrrunning and hiding forrr two-hundrrred and ninety-two yearrrs."**

**"But...how do you hide from a God? Especially one that personally created you?" **the Rokubi asked, drawn into the Nibi's story.

**"Becoming a demon made me a Varrriable**(6)**, so he's been forrrced to trrrack me the old fashioned way. Howeverrr, eighteen yearrrs ago, he finally found me. I led him on a chase forrr seven days and nights, acrrross fourrr countrrries, beforrre he finally corrrnerrred me nearrr Kumogakurrre no Sato. I was desperrrate to escape, so I did the only thing I could think of at the time; I sealed myself into a newborrrn human. As you know, the Gods arrre forrrbidden, by theirrr own laws, to dirrrectly interrract with any beings of this plane of existence. Since I didn't fall into that catagorrry, he could do as he pleased to me. But, once inside the human infant, I was out of his rrreach. **

**Frrrom that point on, I've been stuck inside of a human girrrl, whom I have serrrved as a teacherrr, frrriend, and even a motherrr." **Hinade smiled at the thought of her earlier days with Yugito. Back when things were somewhat less complicated.

**"..." **Raikoku couldn't really find anything to say. Suddenly, her issues seemed trivial, almost petty, next to Hinade's.

The humans didn't like her anymore, boo hoo! Hinade was being hunted by a freaking GOD!

**"Speaking of my vessel, she is parrrt of the rrreason I've come to you." **Hinade said.

**"...Very well..."**

**"My vessel has rrrecently found a frrriend in a Jinchuurrriki frrrom anotherrr village. I assume you've hearrrd of the grrroup of humans calling themselves 'Akatsuki'?"**

**"Yes. The cultists that worship me often speak of them and their quest to capture the ****Bijū****. A fool's errand, if you ask me."**

**"Do not underrrestimate them, Rrraikoku. Rrriju made that mistake, and was nearrrly capturrred. My vessel and the otherrr werrre ambushed while away from the village, and he was...severrrely wounded, to put it lightly, helping my vessel fight them off. Kyuubi is doing herrr best to heal him, bu-" **the Nibi was cut off by a high-pitched squawk from the Rokubi.

**"KYUUBI?! **_**THE**_** Kyuubi was sealed into a human?!" **

**"Yes, she was sealed. You'll have to ask herrr forrr the details. That brrrings me to my next point. She alone may not be capable of fully healing herrr vessel's injurrries, and might need the help of the human medics in Kumo. But, because of the storrrm that YOU arrre causing, help can't be sent. I need you to calm down and call this thing off, otherrrwise the boy may die."**

**"...And why should I care if Kyuubi's vessel dies? I'd probably be doing her a favor by letting him perish. Once he dies, she will be freed." **the Rokubi reasoned.

**"Oh, I don't know about that." **Hinade smirked. **"You see, Kyuubi has taken quite a liking to herrr vessel, almost like I have my own. But herrr love for him rrruns farrr deeperrr. So deep, in fact, that she had chosen him as herrr mate."**

Raikoku's white eyes looked about ready to fly out of her skull.

**"W-W-WHAT?!" **

**"Mm-hm, she's turrrned him into a hanyou, marrrked him and everrrything. They've even...**_**consummated**_** theirrr rrrelationship alrrready. Still think she'd thank you forrr letting herrr vessel die?" **Hinade grinned when the giant bird gave a visible shudder of terror.

Honestly, just the thought of what Kyuubi would do to anyone even remotely responsible for Naruto's death was enough to cause nightmares.

Raikoku may have loathed her status as a demoness, but that didn't mean she had a deathwish. And even if she did, there were easier and far less painful ways of committing suicide.

**"In that case...we might have a problem..." **were she capable of it in her current form, Raikoku would've been blushing in embarrassment.

**"What do you mean?" **Hinade inquired.

**"I'm afraid that I do not know how to stop the storm..."**

**"...I'm sorrry, therrre must've been something in my earrrs. It sounded like you just said you can't stop the storrrm."**

**"Because that's what I said."**

**"HOW?! How do you not know how to stop a storrrm that YOU crrreated?!" **the Nibi fumed.

**"Stop blaming me for this! It's not my fault!" **the Rokubi snarled.

**"Yes it is! You...Wait a minute..." **the leather-clad demoness looked up at the two-hundred foot tall bird, her expression completely blank. **"Afterrr all these yearrrs...you haven't even botherrred to figurrre out how yourrr new powerrrs worrrk, have you?"**

**"..."**

**'Sometimes, I rrreally hate my life.' **Hinade sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. **"So, you'rrre telling me that you had no idea that you could crrreate violent thunderrrstorrrms on a whim?" **the Rokubi shook her head. **"What about yourrr otherrr abilities?" **another negative. **"...So, you've done nothing but sit arrround and brrrood and mope forrr the last three centurrries..."**

**"Hey!" **the Rokubi growled.

Overhead, the clouds suddenly grew another shade darker and several bolts of lightning crashed down around the clearing. Upon seeing this, Hinade had a "lightbulb moment".

**"Calm down. Yourrr angerrr is what's doing this. Do you have any idea how dangerrrous you arrre? Six tails worrrth of powerrr, and the ability to contrrrol weatherrr patterrrns, yet no desirrre orrr knowledge to utilize it. Do you know how many of yourrr prrrecious humans yourrr storrrms have killed overrr the centurrries? How many homes they've destrrroyed? How many childrrren they've killed and orrrphaned?"**

**"I-"**

**"No. No morrre talking frrrom you. Now, you listen. Just like my vessel, you arrre still little morrre than a child, despite yourrr age and capabilities. You need to stop living in the past and acting like the worrrld rrrevolves arrround you."**

**"I don't-"**

**"Everrr since I firrrst spoke to you, virrrtually everrrything that comes out of yourrr mouth has been about you, and you alone. About what the humans used to do forrr YOU, how they admirrred YOU, how they worrrshipped YOU, how YOU used to be so beautiful, how no one visits YOU, how no one talks to YOU, how YOU are sufferrring, how life has been unfairrr to YOU, how YOU have been turrrned into a 'monsterrr', how YOU didn't deserrrve what happened, how the otherrr demons disrrrespect YOU, how I brrroke my prrromise to YOU. It's always about you, you, YOU; and it's been that way forrr the entirrre millennium that I've known you." **the Nibi finished her rant, loving the feeling of finally getting all that off her chest.

**"..." **Raikoku stayed silent, wracking her brain for anything to refute the other demoness' claims and coming up blank.

**"I can't say I rrreally blame you forrr yourrr behaviorrr. If I had been a phoenix, I'd likely be a spoiled little prrrincess as well."**

Raikoku visibly flinched at the remark. Being constantly praised and pampered had done her no favors in the self-sufficiency department. Even now, she mostly relied on the cultists to bring her food.

The electricity arcing around the bird's body died down to mere sparks and the storm had all but vanished. It was still pouring down rain, but the lightning, thunder and hurricane-like wind had ceased.

**"Rrraikoku..." **Hinade called, her voice no longer holding the harsh edge from before. **"Do you want to be morrre than what you've become? Arrre you rrready to live up to yourrr title? And beforrre you starrrt, being a demon, even a ****Bijū****, does NOT mean you arrre obligated to rrrain death and destrrruction down on the land."**

**"I...I need to think about it..." **the Rokubi replied, looking at something off to her left.

Hinade sighed, having expected such an answer. **"That's fine. I've got to go and check on my vessel, but how about I meet you herrre again, say, sunrrrise tomorrrow?"**

**"Yes, I will have reached a decision by then." **

**"I'll see you then. Just be surrre to keep yourrr emotions in check, no matterrr what choice you make." **of course, the Nibi knew that, for Kumo's sake, the storms couldn't completely stop. They had become the village's trademark over the centuries, as well as one of its primary defenses against invaders.

Hopefully Raikoku would be receptive to training in manipulating her power, then she'd be able to create storms through will alone instead of anger and depression.

(Naruto's Mindscape)

Once again, we find Naruto basking in the afterglow of a plan gone right. After two more failed attempts at busting through Shizaru's defenses in Earth Country, Naruto had decided on a three-pronged attack consisting of ground units, aerial units and subterranean units numbering four-hundred in total. He'd even added two new creatures to the mix.

The Rippers were some of Naruto's earliest Shadow Beasts. They were large, humanoid lizards with tough, armored hides and powerful builds. Weaponry included knife-like teeth, extendable claws, and a tail that would shred flesh like a whip or shatter bone like a club. Originally meant to be the regular infantry units, they had been replaced by the faster, more agile and more terrifying Slayers.

Naruto still kept them in reserve, but had never really found a legitimate use for them until now. They were still quick in their own right, and their physical strength would most certainly come in handy.

The second new unit took the form of a large, disk-shaped floating fortress, inspired by a movie Naruto had seen once. Called "Locusts", they were actually prototypes of something that was planned to be much, much bigger. And considering that the prototypes already had a diameter of over a thousand feet, the finished products were sure to be absolutely immense.

The Locusts were built for two purposes; transport, and destruction on a massive scale. They housed other, smaller aerial units within themselves, protecting them from attacks and allowing them to be deployed right in the middle of enemy airspace. As for the destruction part; the Locusts were also equipped with borderline-ridiculous amounts of chakra and slightly less excessive amounts of youki. When the time was right, this energy was channeled into a gigantic copy of the Corpser's laser-eyes and released as a focused beam capable vaporizing everything within a three-mile radius(7).

At least, that's what it was _supposed_ to do. As it stood, the R&D department was still trying to figure out exactly how the Corpser's eyes worked, and if anything could even handle having that much concentrated energy forced through it without blowing up itself. At the moment, the Locusts were limited to dropping energy bombs on the enemy. They still packed a nasty punch, but it was incredibly difficult to top a giant laser. At least, in terms of sheer awesomeness.

Tactically, bombs held the advantage over the "Mega Laser". They didn't do as much damage individually as the laser would, but they allowed for more precise destruction. This was especially true because of the chakra cables attached to the bombs once they were dropped. Similar to the Rasen Tekidan, the cables kept the bombs stable until impact, but they also allowed the bombs to be guided to specific targets in mid-fall.

With the Locusts providing cover from above, the ground units managed to reach the large canyon in record time and with no casualties. Though, by that time, the canyon was more of a crater, having been annihilated by a particularly large bomb from one of the seven Locusts. But from that point, not a minute went by where Naruto's forces weren't engaged in combat. Even so, the battalion managed to force their way across seven miles of land before the enemy's sheer numbers got to them and their advance ground to a halt.

Naruto knew his battalion had no hope of overcoming Shizaru's forces; not when they were outnumbered at least thirty-to-one and already being surrounded. However, they were never meant to reach Shizaru's main base, or even do any significant damage along the way. Just as before, they were sent to test the enemy's defensive capabilities, and hopefully draw out some of Shizaru's yet-unseen soldiers.

They had done their job perfectly.

Along with the Warrior bugs, another Klendathu caste was revealed; one that served a dual purpose as anti-air fire and artillery units for enemy ground forces.

According to Shizaru, they were a subspecies of the Tanker caste, dubbed simply "Plasma Bugs". This stemmed from their ability to fire huge bolts of plasma from the special chambers in their abdomens. These bolts could be fired with enough force to send them several miles into the air and were able to make short work of the heavily-armored Locusts, sometimes with a single shot.

But their presence only made Naruto's grin widen. The Locusts were far enough into enemy territory that it didn't matter if they were shot down or not. In fact, Naruto's primary plan hinged on them being destroyed. Beyond the Grals being transported within them, the Locusts also harbored several dozen Darkness Clones. When the Locusts were destroyed, those that managed to avoid the blasts jumped out and scattered across the land, disguised as pieces of debris.

The clones just had to avoid detection a bit longer while Naruto prepared for the final phase of his plan.

'The beginning of the end, Shizaru.' Naruto thought, biting back the manic cackle that was trying its damnedest to burst out.

_**"Hm, those 'UFO's' of yours certainly are something. Unfortunately, that 'something' happens to be 'utterly impractical'. I will tell you now, more armor will get you nowhere; I suggest you to come up with something a bit more maneuverable next time." **_Shizaru remarked, his tone indicating boredom. His thoughts, however, showed that to be little more than an act. _**'The boy has never really been one to sacrifice speed and agility for power and durability. Those ships go completely against his design philosophy, as do his new lizard-men.' **_the Archdemon stroked his chin as his mind went to work.

He reasoned that Naruto was simply trying new things, or perhaps attempting to bring a bit more balance to his army. But a part of Shizaru just wouldn't let him accept such obvious conclusions. That part said that the hanyou was up to something, and that the new units, specifically the ships, were meant to draw attention away from something else.

"I'll take it under advisement." Naruto said with a half-yawn.

Beneath his hood, Shizaru's right eyebrow twitched ever so slightly. _**"...Tell you what, since you managed to get so far into my territory, and killed so many of my soldiers, I'll answer another two questions." **_despite his words, Shizaru sounded distinctly unimpressed. _**"What would you like to know?"**_

It took Naruto a couple seconds to think of something that he felt only Shizaru himself could answer.

"That little disappearing act that you do; how do you pull it off? At first, I thought it was some kind of teleportation technique, but now I'm not so sure."

_**"Ah, you want to know the secret in hopes of learning how to do it yourself." **_the low grunt that came from Naruto's side confirmed the statement. _**"Well, if it's **_**that**_** important to you. No, it's not a teleportation technique or anything of the like. The man I learned it from called it 'Shinsoku'**_(8)_**, and it's nothing but pure speed."**_

"...You've got to be shitting me..." Naruto muttered. He'd actually been hoping it was a time/space technique, as it would most likely have an inherent flaw that could be exploited.

_**"I assure you that I'm not. Though, I should've said 'acceleration' as opposed to outright speed. Think of your top running speed and how long it takes you to achieve it. Now imagine being able to reach that speed, from a standstill, in an instant, and being able to slow down just as quickly. That's what the Shinsoku is." **_Shizaru let out a small chuckle. _**"Think of it as something akin to, say, shooting yourself out of a cannon. Without the drawbacks, of course."**_

"A cannon, eh?" Naruto remarked, trying not to let his jealousy show.

It didn't work. _**"Aw, don't be sad." **_Shizaru taunted. _**"The Shinsoku, and so much more, can be yours; all you have to do is join the team. The **_**winning**_** team." **_

"...But if you're winning, what do you want me for?"

_**"You'd have to ask Lord Arcarian about that. All I know is that he thinks you will somehow ensure our victory in the coming war. Exactly how you're supposed to accomplish that is anyone's guess, but it is generally agreed upon that we need to make you as powerful as possible. That was your second question, by the way."**_

"I...Dammit!" Naruto growled.

_**"And here I was, thinking you had finally learned to watch what you say. Oh well, on with the game." **_Shizaru made absolutely no effort to hide his amusement.

(Konohagakure no Sato - Secret Tunnel System)

Within the laboratory hidden in the deepest part of the tunnel system, Hinata Hyūga stirred.

_"W-Wha..."_ her voice came out as an oddly deep rasp. He throat was bone-dry and something was wrong with her mouth. 'What's going on? What happened?' Hinata thought as she looked around. 'That's weird...I don't remember activating the Byakugan...No, it's not active at all...'

Even so, she still found herself able to see the entire room without turning her head at all. Behind her, she spotted a patch of spiky blonde hair sticking up over the headrest of a chair facing away from her.

_"Na-Naruuu..." _Hinata tried to speak, but something was most definitely wrong with her mouth. She felt like she'd just returned from a particularly unpleasant visit to the dentist.

The Hyūga heiress instinctively reached up to feel if anything was amiss, but quickly retracted her hand when she felt a sharp prick on her cheek. Upon looking at her hand, she began to tremble.

'It...It wasn't just a nightmare...' Hinata thought, eyes wide in utter horror.

"Hinata," Naruto's clone called as he walked up to the transformed girl, "please calm down."

The glare Hinata fixed "Naruto" with would've made even her stoic bastard of a father wet himself.

_"Caaa-Calm..."_ try as she might, Hinata still couldn't get the words to come out properly. So, instead of conveying her frustration and outrage verbally, she decided to do it physically.

Unfortunately, her conscious control of her new body wasn't quite up the snuff. When she attempted to lash out with her lethal claws, she managed to perform a small hop before landing flat on her face.

"That's why I asked you to calm down. You have no experience in controlling that body, and the last thing the Boss wants is for you to hurt yourself trying to hurt me. And considering all the trouble Kurohane went through just to get you here unharmed, I doubt she'd appreciate it, either." the clone said, making sure to keep just out of the spider-girl's considerable reach.

_"K-Kuro...hane..."_ Hinata mumbled, words slowly but surely becoming easier to produce.

"The Boss sent her back here to help you. She's the one who got you out of that forest before the ANBU arrived."

In the back of her mind, Hinata thanked the Raven Princess. She had no doubt that, had the ANBU seen her in her current state, they wouldn't have hesitated to strike her down. However, something else "Naruto" had said sent up red flags in her head.

_"B-Boss...?"_

"I am just a Darkness Clone; the real Naruto is currently on an S-Class mission as part of a group of escorts hand-picked by the Hokage himself. Anko is also part of that team, just so you know." the clone informed.

Hinata's entire form seemed to deflate slightly upon hearing that, but the sorrow was quickly countered by anger and, oddly enough, happiness. She was angry at herself for not noticing that the "Naruto" before her was a mere clone, and at the same time happy that the real Naruto had been given such a grand opportunity.

"Your 'official' sensei, Yūhi-san, came looking for you earlier. Don't worry, she wasn't harmed, nor was she told about what really happened to you." the clone said.

Hinata just nodded, then attempted to push herself off the ground. Her upper body lifted effortlessly, but the rest of her stayed put, much to her annoyance.

"I see..." Naruto's clone sighed. "Well, it looks like there's quite a long road ahead of us, eh Hinata?" seeing the confused look on Hinata's face, the clone elaborated. "We'll need to run a couple of tests first, then get you used to this new body of yours. Hopefully we can get you to a point where you can change back to your human form, before your sensei blabs and the entire Hyūga clan comes barging in."

_"Like they care..."_ Hinata's eyes widened at how easily the words came out.

"Well, looks like step one is already coming along. If we're going to do this, we'll need to be able to communicate properly." the clone crouched down in front of Hinata. "But, for now, let's skip to step two: Motor Skills."

Hinata blinked as a sudden shiver of dread ran through her body. Something told her that the clone was grinning behind that mask, and that this wasn't going to be a pleasant experience. Somewhere in the back of her mind, Hinata knew that she should've been far more alarmed than she was. She knew that it was in her nature to panic when put into a situation that took her outside of her comfort zone, and few things did that like being turned into a giant spider. And yet, all she could think about was how much of a pain it would be to learn how to walk and talk all over again.

XXXX

As per usual, there was a change of plans in the midst of writing this chapter. Some things meant for this chapter have been pushed back to the next one in favor of some stuff that I basically thought up on the fly. So I'll have to ask you to bear with me for one more chapter of the Kumo Arc. I probably could've finished it here, but that would make this another 30-40K chapter, and probably would've taken another month or two. Hell, part of the reason this one took so long is because I actually forgot that I was trying for smaller chapters.

Had I kept that in mind, I might've finished this a month ago! See, I spaced things out too far because I thought I had a shitload of room to work with. When finally remembered my plan, I had to scale everything back, which meant a lot of cutting and rewriting.

Originally, I planned on putting a fight scene between Pondera and Sankaku. But as I was writing it, I kept hitting brick walls. No matter what I did, I just couldn't come up with something I really liked. So, instead of wasting more time on it, I just scrapped the idea altogether. Sorry to those would wanted to see it, but I take my action scenes very seriously. If I don't feel it's up to snuff, I'm not going to use it.

I also fleshed out Hinade's character some more, revealed more of her backstory and exactly how she came to be sealed within Yugito. I've been wanted to do this for a while, as the Nibi kind of served as the "Token Nympho-Catgirl" before, and she deserves better than that.

(1) Yes, it's the Minos from the Dante's Inferno game.

(2) In this fic, the rings Akatsuki members wear are actually vital to their operation. In the actual series, they appear to be little more than somewhat symbolic accessories.

(3) Yep, Kisame is the Jinchuuriki of the Three-tailed Shark, Samehada. Though, technically, both he and his sword share the title.

(4) Yeah, not even Kakuzu is immune to the effects of sheer boredom.

(5) She's a bird, so she has a thing for shiny objects.

(6) "Variables", in short, are beings that are "immune" to the Gods' omniscience. They'll be explained in more detail in the next chapter.

(7) Cookie to those who can tell me where the "Locusts" come from.

(8) Another easy one. Cookie to those who tell me where the Shinsoku comes from AND who taught it to Shizaru.

Well, I think that's about it. As usual, don't be shy with the questions.

For those who care, my other Digimon fic, "Tamer of the Night", is being discontinued. I came up with a much better storyline for it some time ago, so it'll be back at some point. As in "not soon". I've got enough to worry about with two Epics currently on my plate.

Also, I'm looking for a second home for my fics, as I've lost a good deal of "trust" in this site in recent months. If anyone out there can make some recommendations, that'd be great. Archive Of Our Own is currently at the top of my list, but I'm still on the lookout for more options.

Jason Out!


	39. Out of the Frying Pan

What's up, people? Your friendly neighborhood giant black guy with a sadistic streak and an unhealthy obsession with firearms and sharp objects is back! Rejoice! Or run and hide, it's all the same to me.

Now, when I first started working on this chapter, I was going to split it up into two parts. Later, I decided on one huge chapter to wrap up the Kumo Arc and move on with the story. Well. it turns out that I've done a bit of both. It's still a huge chapter, but do to issues with this site, I wouldn't be able to upload this if the file was any larger. So I couldn't put in everything I wanted, meaning that the chapter after this one will be wrapping up the current story arc.

However, this chapter does mark the end of the War game between Naruto and Shizaru. It also explains more about the Black Flames universe, and reveals Arcarian and Shizaru's opposition in the epic struggle between the two supernatural forces fighting for control of...well, everything.

Not much else to say, so let's get to it!

XXXX

(Naruto's Mindscape)

Chaos. That was the only word that could describe the dramatic and sudden turn the game had taken. Complete and utter chaos.

With his clones behind enemy lines and moving to set up strategic "spawn points", Naruto had secretly pooled all of his forces together for an all-out assault.

It began under the guise of invading Kusagakure to establish a stronger border. Shizaru had sent an entire battalion of over a thousand assorted demons and Shadow Beasts to stop them, but to no avail. All four of Naruto's Commanders had been part of the invasion force, which itself numbered over five-hundred, and had made short work of the enemy.

Knowing that he'd earned himself another question, Naruto filed it away and continued with his plans.

Shizaru had known that something big was about to happen, and had lined the Kusa/Tsuchi border with thousands of troops.

And when Naruto felt that Shizaru's total focus was on the border, he struck. The clones throughout Tsuchi no Kuni opened up portals to the Shadow Realm and the full might of Naruto's army was unleashed. Even the likes of N2, Akiko and the Guardians had been pulled from their positions to fight on the front lines. Caught off guard by the attack, Shizaru's answer came a bit too late, as Naruto's forces had already cut huge swaths of destruction all throughout his territory. By the time anything strong enough to even slow them down was sent out, Naruto's army was already within twenty miles of Iwagakure, and still advancing.

On his side of the table, Shizaru shook his head and let out a slight chuckle. The plan was nothing short of brilliant, and the execution had been flawless. Even amidst the carnage and confusion, it was clear that Naruto's forces were controlling the battlefield. He still couldn't believe that he'd fallen for the distraction at the border.

_**'It's almost like fighting a younger version of myself.' **_the Archdemon thought. _**'Excellent strategist, but still a bit naive, inexperienced and narrow-minded. Oh well, I'll let him have his fun, for now.' **_it was then that he caught sight of something on the battlefield that made him do a double-take. _**"Huh...So that's where Scourge went."**_

Naruto rose an eyebrow at that. "What?"

_**"You call him 'The Gatekeeper' now, but I named him Scourge after I created him. At one time, he was my most powerful Shadow Beast. However, it was taken from me by that bitch Yoruyonaka some two-hundred years ago. If she gave it to you, you must have another 'fan'." **_Shizaru was still a bit upset about that.

Darkness Boss Spirit or not, Shizaru felt she had no right to steal Scourge. Apparently, she had even taken it upon herself to upgrade him, giving him armor and increasing his strength and speed. He had to admit that he liked the changes, though.

This new tidbit of info didn't sit well with Naruto at all. If Shizaru had created the Gatekeeper, he most likely knew just how to destroy it. That, he couldn't allow; not when victory was so close. The beast was one of his greatest assets on the battlefield, along with the Corpser. Together, they did an excellent job of breaking up enemy ranks so they could be systematically picked off. And outpost walls might as well have been made of dry twigs for all the good they did against the monstrous behemoths.

Naruto chuckled when he saw the Corpser launch a laser volley at a Plasma Bug, causing it to explode and take out hundreds its own allies. He outright laughed when the Gatekeeper plucked an emerging Tanker out of the ground like a turnip, lifted it above its horned head with frightening ease, then slammed it into the ground with so much force that the gargantuan insect's abdomen burst like a water balloon.

Even Shizaru nodded in appreciation. Scourge certainly hadn't been capable of something like that before Yoruyonaka had stolen him.

"So, Shizaru," Naruto suddenly called, "how many answers do you owe me?"

Shizaru's eyes narrowed. _**"...While you may have defeated my warriors in many different battles, only three actually impressed me to any degree. So you've got two questions left."**_

Naruto frowned, but didn't protest. The number of questions he could ask almost didn't matter anymore, now that he was running so low on them.

_**"If you're having trouble deciding, may I make a suggestion?"**_

"You may, but it won't make any difference. I'm onto you now, Shizaru."

_**"Took you long enough." **_Shizaru snorted. He'd been manipulating the boy from the first move of the game, using Naruto's natural curiosity and impulsiveness to his advantage.

"You said you know all about _Her_, but what about her family? Specifically, their bloodline."

_**"The Uzumaki Bloodline? Very well, I think you'll like this one. But, before I begin, answer this question: what is your favorite animal? Real or mythical, it doesn't matter." **_

Though he didn't see what relevance the question had, Naruto saw no harm in answering it.

"I suppose it would be dragons." ever since he was little, Naruto had been fascinated by dragons, of all shapes and sizes. Nowadays, that fascination was reflected in his many dragon-themed techniques.

_**"Of course it is; it was the same with every Uzumaki. That is because they all had dragon blood flowing through their veins. You, your mother, your siblings; you all have that same blood inside of you. I'll start from the beginning. You know all about Summons, and that nearly all of them are animals. You also know that they aren't all created equal. What you don't know is that there are Clans that make the likes of the Toads, Snakes and even Kitsune look like run-of -the-mill garden pests. And even within the circle of those clans, there are those that stand out. You, Naruto, are directly tied to two of them; the Ravens and the Dragons. **_

_**You are already familiar with the Raven clan, but the Dragons haven't revealed themselves to you, for reasons that not even I know. But know that they are the strongest of all the Clans, and their criteria for potential summoners are...insane, to put it lightly. They will demand that you do the impossible; climb the unclimbable, beat the unbeatable, destroy the indestructible. Every century, they send out one of their own to find as many worthy humans as possible within a year, and bring them all together for a test to see who will wield their contract.**_

_**A thousand years ago, the Uzumaki Clan was founded by the lone woman who survived that century's test. By winning, she earned herself and anyone related to her the right to be the only humans on the planet who could summon dragons. However, this privilege only lasts for a hundred years, until the next test begins and the contract is put up for grabs once again. But the Uzumaki clan have proven to be a truly terrifying force on their own, as the contract has remained within the family for a millennia.**_

_**After their fifth triumph, the Dragons recognized the Uzumaki's abilities, and did something that only been done once in their twenty-thousand year history**_(1)_**: they turned humans into dragons. This was accomplished by putting the Uzumaki through a process similar to the one used by demons to create hanyous, like you did with the fox and the **__**Hyūga**__** girl. You see, dragon blood has a unique property that's been dubbed "Optimization" by those who know of it. This property allows it to take an organism, like a human, and strip away its inherent weaknesses, while enhancing its strengths. It effectively does away with every physical limitation that you have. Think back a bit, I'm sure you'll remember its effects." **_Shizaru finished.

Doing as told, Naruto did indeed find that the Uzumaki Bloodline was doing as Shizaru said. Even without training, Naruto had always been stronger, faster and just all around more capable than anyone else in his age group by default. He remembered his times with Hinata and Shino when they would "play ninja". When they raced across rooftops, Naruto was always in the lead, even though both Shino and Hinata both had a year's worth of formal ninja training from their clans by the time Naruto had met them. Given, Naruto's leaps weren't as graceful and precise as theirs, but the fact that he could outpace them spoke for itself.

And the times when he fought back against those trying to hurt him in the early days, he noticed that he did damage very disproportionate to his age and size. At only five years old, he had been able to break the limbs of civilians with single blows, and even pick up adult men and throw them several feet. Back then, the only significance that had to Naruto was that it meant he was destined to become "the most awesome ninja ever". And after his meeting with Kyuubi, he thought it was a beneficial side effect of being a Jinchuuriki.

Then there was the fact that he could easily carry around over a ton of additional weight, and could bench-press over three tons without the help of chakra enhancement. Again, he had thought it was just a side effect of being a Jinchuuriki and/or hanyou, and the result of his ridiculous training methods. Afterall, neither Gai nor Lee were vessels or half-demons, yet they regularly and thoroughly violated the supposed "laws of nature" with all the vigor that the Flames of Youth could supply. So it was hardly a stretch to say that such feats could be accomplished through training alone.

"Is that it?" while the Uzumaki Bloodline already seemed like it at least had the potential to be the most powerful in existence, Naruto felt like there was even more to it.

_**"Of course not. Along with upgrading the human side, the Optimization process also gives one access to draconic abilities. This includes greatly enhanced elemental affinities, and transformation. Elemental enhancement is self-explanatory, so I'll skip that one. The transformation ability is, undoubtedly, the Uzumaki's greatest weapon. It comes in three stages, each based on the lifecycle of dragons. **_

_**The first stage, Salamander, has two phases, one of which you've already seen in your mother. It increases physical abilities and senses even further, and covers the skin with flexible, but incredibly durable scales for natural armor. Unleashing the full extent of that form's power also results in the growth of a tail. The second phase allows them to turn into actual Salamanders; the form that all dragons begin in right out of their eggs. There are three main versions of this form; Crawler, Serpent and Runner**_(2)_**. **_

_**The second stage of the Uzumaki Bloodline is the Wyvern. In this stage, the front limbs are sacrificed for the gift of flight as the arms are turned into wings. For Wyrm-types, even the legs go. **_

_**The final stage is the True Dragon, where you earn all six limbs; arms, legs and wings. Those who make it to this stage are considered the elite. In terms of power, True Dragons are on par with the higher-tier **__**Bijū**__**, like the Shichibi and Hachibi. In fact, the head of the Dragon Clan, Lord Ryokuhadou, is the only being I can think of that Kyuubi herself can call a true equal." **_Shizaru finished.

"Wow..." Naruto blinked. "Thanks, _Mom_..." he frowned at the sudden wave of nausea that came over him. He didn't even think it was possible to be ill in your own mind!

_**"Don't thank her yet, Halfling. You still have to unlock the first stage, especially if you're to have any hope of defeating your mother. She's a prodigy, you know. She unlocked the third and final stage just five years after unlocking the second; an unprecedented accomplishment. Normally it takes decades, or even centuries to get from one stage to the next. Oh! I forgot to mention, near-immortality is another benefit of the Optimization process. Even if you hadn't been turned into a hanyou, your natural lifespan would've been indefinite, and you'd have been very hard to kill. But, all that combined with your demonic abilities...It's when I think about what you may be capable of in the future, that I know what Lord Arcarian sees in you."**_

'Great, just fuckin' great! She was a Kage-level kunoichi to begin with, and now this? Just how can this get any wor...' Naruto's train of thought abruptly derailed and he actually began to shake.

"Shizaru..."

_**"Hm?" **_the Archdemon could literally feel the apprehension in the boy's voice, and it intrigued him greatly.

"Kushina...Just how strong is she?" it was a question that had been lurking in the back of Naruto's mind ever since he had fought her.

_**"...Are you sure you want to know the answer to that question?"**_

Were his body actually physical, Naruto would've been sweating.

"I...Yes."

_**"By herself, she ranks as one of the strongest human beings walking the Earth today. More than a match for you. Even in her Salamander One form, she could've wiped the floor with you, were she in her right mind. Remember, I said using the full power of the Salamander One form causes a tail to grow, and the fact that Kushina didn't have one proves that she was holding back. But when she goes all out and uses her True Dragon form...Though I've never seen it, I have no doubt that she would be significantly more powerful than me."**_

'B-But...I beat her...' Naruto thought, unaware that he had said it out loud as well.

_**"The woman you 'beat' wasn't Uzumaki Kushina. That was a deeply disturbed and unbalanced woman who subconsciously weakened herself so she wouldn't kill her own son. When she got back to her home, she found that she had small cuts all over her body. She thought they were made by you, using wind blades. She still thinks of them as evidence that you were just toying with her, and could have finished her off at will. She gives you far too much credit. In reality, those cuts were actually tears, caused by the forced suppression of her power. With the pressure building up in her body, a natural 'venting process' started, where the excess chakra was allowed a way out through her tenketsu. However, under that kind of pressure it didn't just flow out like it normally would; it shot out violently, tearing through her flesh. Honestly, I'm surprised no one noticed that all the 'cuts' were directly over her tenketsu points."**_

"Dammit...Dammit!...DAMMIT!" Naruto slammed his fist down on the edge of the table and snarled like an animal. Just when he thought vengeance was within reach, a bombshell was dropped and all hope was obliterated.

_**"You should've figured that it wouldn't be easy by any stretch of the imagination. But, I can't say your reaction surprises me. Just as this game has shown me, you tend to have trouble looking beyond what's right in front of you."**_ Shizaru sighed.

Naruto's eyes snapped over to a red dot that was moving rapidly across the battlefield towards the Tsuchi/Kusa border. Shizaru's border defenses parted before it and the lone enemy proceeded to engage Naruto's Commanders. It took six seconds for that one enemy to kill them and plow through the rest of his forces, breaking into Hi no Kuni. An image popped up off to the side, showing Naruto that the lone enemy was, in fact, Shizaru himself.

"No..." Naruto mumbled, eyes wide.

_**"Sometimes, you just can't see the bigger picture." **_Shizaru said, watching himself tear across his opponent's territory, decimating outposts along the way.

"No..." Naruto mumbled again, louder than before.

_**"When you look at the battlefield, at the aftermath of your admittedly genius plan, you see giant leap towards victory. That's you seeing what you want to see, not what's really there." **_

With Shizaru just ten miles from Konoha, Naruto called the Guardians back from the siege of Tsuchi no Kuni. Using clones, Naruto placed the Guardians directly in Shizaru's path, and sent out over two-thousand clones and Shadow Beasts to back them up. It proved to be useless. Shizaru took on the Guardians by himself and used his own clones to take care of the rest. While they lasted longer than the Commanders, the Guardians fell one by one in short order, with Pondera, Fragilitas and Affectus putting up the greatest resistance. But they, too, were slain and Shizaru continued on.

_**"While you've been wracking your brain trying to figure out ways to get to me, I've been conquering country after country. I've got you completely surrounded, boy, and I have for quite a while. I could've crushed you at will, but I chose to let the game go on just to see how well you could adapt to a given situation. I've got to say I was somewhat impressed up until you decided to put everything on the line in one incredibly foolish move."**_

Despite the valiant efforts of Naruto's forces, Shizaru quite literally waltzed in through the front door of Konohagakure and proceeded to lay waste to its population. Up until now, Naruto completely written off the army of ninjas he had at his disposal, seeing them as essentially useless in the face of Shizaru's demonic hordes. In hindsight, he realized that if his clones could stand toe-to-toe with the enemy, then of Konoha's ANBU, and most of her Jōnin and higher-level Chūnin would've been of great additions to the assault and invasion forces. But now that was all irrelevant. Regardless of how they would've fared against his minions, Shizaru himself was an entirely different animal.

_**"I could've gone anywhere I wanted, and you never would've known. But I stayed in Iwagakure because I wanted to see what you had planned. But now I have to ask if you even had a plan. What did you think would happen if/when you found me, hm? This isn't chess; you don't win just because you made it to the 'King'. You've either got to kill me force me to surrender, and it doesn't look like you were ever capable of doing either."**_

Naruto found himself unable to move, speak or even think as his eyes remained glued to the scene on the battlefield. In one last ditch effort to fend the unstoppable demon off, Konoha's strongest warriors rallied together to take him on. There were many familiar faces in the group. Kakashi, Gai, Asuma, Anko, Mitara, Inaro, Isaro, Zabuza, the Sandaime Hokage, and every Jōnin and ANBU who survived the initial slaughter. Surprisingly, they actually managed to occupy Shizaru for a good ten minutes; longer than the Commanders and Guardians combined.

Needless to say, when they finally did fall to Shizaru's might, it was a heavy emotional blow to Naruto. Were he not in shock at the moment, he would've felt tears running down his cheeks.

_**"You brought this on yourself be underestimating me, and overestimating yourself. Did you think I would just keep letting you do as you pleased? Did you think I couldn't stop you at any time? Do you think you've seen the true extent of my power and influence? What I'm doing on the battlefield right now, I'm doing with just thirty percent of my power. And the beasts that you've seen me make use of are just a small fraction of what I have at my disposal. And unlike you, I do not limit myself to demons and Shadow Beasts. Here, allow me to show just what I mean."**_

With a downright evil chuckle, Shizaru had his game-self open up a shadow portal. It was time to add insult to injury.

Were they not in his mind, Naruto's heart would've stopped as Shizaru summoned Kushina Uzumaki herself from Kami-knows-where. Then, his anger skyrocketed and before he knew it, his game-self was put on the blood-drenched streets of Konoha, preparing to face off against his mother. It was then that things took yet another dramatic turn, as Kurohane, performing her duty as Naruto's bodyguard and familiar, immediately engaged Kushina. For a moment, it seemed as though her ability to fly would give her the edge she needed to actually defeat Kushina, or at least weaken her enough for Naruto to deliver the killing stroke. Unfortunately, Kushina activated the second stage of the Uzumaki Bloodline and, true to Shizaru's words, transformed into a gigantic, winged reptilian with scales the same deep red color as the woman's hair.

In response, Kurohane also discarded her human form, to become a massive raven just slightly smaller than the red wyvern. Thus began what was likely the most epic dogfight in the history of planet Earth. So epic, in fact, that even Shizaru was hard-pressed to look away from it.

That said, neither he nor his game-self noticed what Naruto was doing until it was too late. All they saw was a gargantuan plume of black smoke shoot from the ground, up into the sky above Kurohane and Kushina, neither of whom seemed to take notice of it. Seconds later, the wyvern shrieked in pain before its body apparently turned to stone and plummeted to the ground, where it shattered on impact.

Momentarily dumbstruck, Shizaru just stared at the scene. He then frowned deeply when he noticed the sky still being occupied by two creatures, one of which was nearly four times larger than Kushina's wyvern form.

_**"Lord Garandou..."**_ Shizaru hissed, mentally cursing himself for having forgot about what was easily Naruto's strongest ally, now even stronger after absorbing a high-level soul like Kushina's.

Now he was in a predicament. As he had told Naruto, Lord Garandou was one of only four other beings who's control over the Darkness element rivaled or exceeded his own. As of now, he'd need to fully open the Shadow Gate Seal just to match the Raven King's power, and a stalemate would do him no good.

_**'Wait...Yes, I could keep Garandou occupied long enough for a couple of my more powerful subordinates to capture Naruto.' **_Shizaru thought. _**"Well, color me truly impressed, Halfling. You're still beaten, but you've succeeded in forcing me to use a hundred percent of my power for the first time in over a thousand years."**_

Naruto chuckled, causing the Archdemon to raise an eyebrow. "I'm a pretty good actor, wouldn't you say? Heh, if my ninja career falls through, I know I've got a future in movies and/or theater. Why don't you take a look at my apartment complex, hm?"

Shizaru did, and his right eye twitched violently at what he saw. A lot of the beings he swore he killed not even five minutes ago were standing on the rooftop of the building. Naruto's little circle of ninja friends, the Guardians, his four Commanders; pretty much everyone who would actually be able to give his more powerful warriors trouble.

"I love it when a plan comes together, don't you?" Naruto taunted.

In truth, it was almost complete dumb luck that allowed it all to happen. Shizaru's little power trip caused him to overlook the subtle hints that would've told him that the Commanders and Guardians had actually been youki-infused Darkness Clones, and that some of the humans had been Blood Clones. And since his game-self was an exact copy of him, it adopted the same attitude and missed the same clues. And now he was paying for it.

The more Shizaru thought about it, the more he realized that he didn't have an answer for Lord Garandou. The Raven King could devour the souls of his demonic and human minions, and destroy his Shadow Beasts just by taking control of the Darkness that made up their bodies. And with every soul he consumed, Lord Garandou would continue to get stronger.

As much as he hated to do it, the only alternative Shizaru could see to surrendering was to go into hiding and think of a plan. Of course, he had to get away from Garandou first.

Suddenly, he received the memories of a Darkness Clone he had in the outside world. It had been killed and hadn't gotten a good look at its assailant, just the weapon. Upon seeing the mental image of an ornate spear that gave off a bright golden glow, Shizaru growled and called a halt to the game.

Naruto recoiled when the table suddenly disappeared. "What the hell?"

_**"A matter that requires my immediate attention has come up on the outside, so I'm afraid I'll have to cut our game short. And before you go off on a tangent about me trying to save face, consider this an official concession of defeat. You won, and I applaud you for it. You took advantage of my arrogance and complacency superbly, and I can honestly say you're the first worthy opponent I've faced in centuries." **_Shizaru said as he walked towards Naruto, who watched him warily.

"...Thanks...So, you're leaving?" Shizaru nodded. "Am I free to go, then?"

_**"Of course. The storm has subsided and you are currently being taken to a Level One Trauma Center in Kumo. I would advise you to rest, but something tells me that your mate would like a word with you." **_Shizaru chuckled.

"Since I beat you, how many questions have I earned?"

_**"Good question. Tell you what, during your...**_**chat**_** with Kyuubi, get her to answer your questions. If you still have more, we'll handle them next time we meet. Fair enough?"**_

"...Fair enough." Naruto said, still eying Shizaru like a hawk.

_**"Excellent. And before I forget, if you want to harness the Uzumaki Bloodline, I suggest you seek out your Inner Dragon. It is a temporary sentient manifestation of the bloodline itself, created during the Optimization process and stored away deep within one's mind. Unfortunately, I can't tell you where it is, not that I would even if I knew. However, I can tell you that Noctis actually stumbled upon the Inner and took it over, activating bastardized versions of the transformation stages. Well, I'll be taking my leave now, I trust you know where the door is." **_and with that, Shizaru faded away, as if he'd been part of a Genjutsu.

"...Huh, not as cool of an exit as I thought it would be." Naruto shrugged, then turned to go for the door, only to realize that he couldn't see through the darkness to find the thing. "You've got to be shitting me..."

(Meanwhile, Outside Of The Room)

Nightmare grumbled obscenities to himself as leaned against the wall next to the door that Kyuubi ordered him to guard. Even since she'd gone off on him, he'd been trying to find a way to convince her that things weren't as bad as she was making them out to be. So far, he was failing spectacularly, hence the obscenities.

_"...acts like she's never made a mistake before, hmph. I said I was sorry, what more does she want? It's not like I can go back in time, or anything; I've tried, it didn't work!"_

_"Well, isn't this a sorry sight."_ a voice startlingly similar to Nightmare's own drawled.

Looking to his right, Nightmare saw none other than his "clone", Noctis, walking down the corridor towards him.

_"Ditto. You got a lotta guts, walking around here like that. Your brain might be made of jell-o, but having balls made of wrought iron has to count for something, eh?"_ Nightmare chuckled as he pushed off the wall and summoned his sword.

_"I didn't come here to fight, you oversized, overhyped sardine can."_ Noctis snarled.

_"Then you're in the wrong place, at the wrong time. See, today's been a very shitty day for everybody around here, and we're all in very bad moods. You should consider yourself lucky that you ran into me instead of Kyuubi; I'll only beat you _half_ to death."_ Nightmare's eyes glowed menacingly.

_"I told you, I'm not here to fight. I came because I sensed that something was...wrong."_ Noctis said as he turned to look at the door.

_"Kinda late to the party. If you're looking for a chance to take over, I think you'll find that you're shit outta luck, pal."_ Nightmare said, taking a step forward.

_"I'm not here for that, either."_ Noctis replied, not moving an inch and keeping his gaze fixed on the door. _"...He's in there...But this thing isn't supposed to be here."_ the Obsidian Knight mumbled to himself. He could almost feel the evil radiating from it.

_"Well, you're just a regular Sherlock Holmes, ain't ya'?"_ Nightmare sneered. _"Fine, you say you aren't here to fight or to attempt a takeover. I don't believe you for a second, but I'll humor you. What are you here for?"_

_"I was...concerned...I wanted to see if I could help."_ Noctis spoke as if the words were foreign to him, yet there seemed to be genuine emotion behind them.

Nightmare let out a barking laugh. _"Bull. Shit. You may be little more than a cheap knockoff of yours truly, but you should be able to come up with something better than that!"_

Noctis' eyes narrowed and his fists clenched, but he quickly reigned in his temper.

_"You certainly weren't kidding when you said you were in a bad mood. Very well, I'll come back when you're feeling less confrontational."_ Noctis said, finally backing up.

_"Pack a lunch, asshole. It's not like I'm in need of more reasons to cut you in half, but I know you're up to something."_ Nightmare growled.

Noctis scoffed. _"Then why are you still just standing there? I thought you were going to beat me half to death?"_

_"Keep pushing, see what happens."_ Nightmare threatened. _"There's only one reason I'm letting you leave, and that's the fact that you're not worth the beating I'd get if Kyuubi found me doing anything else but guarding this door."_

_"So, even the terrible 'Azure Knight' fears something, hm?"_ Noctis, with surprising speed, leapt back to avoid a horizontal swing of the Evil Seed.

_"I like staying in one piece, which seems to be yet another thing we _don't_ have in common."_

_"Look,"_ Noctis sighed, _"I know I haven't given you, or anyone else any reason to trust me. But ever since I was freed from the Soul Edge's control, I have done nothing wrong, nor do I plan to now."_ seeing that Nightmare was far from convinced, the more streamlined knight turned on his heel and started to walk back down the corridor he'd come from. Before disappearing into the darkness, he left Nightmare with some shocking final words. _"Afterall, it's hardly a crime for a man to be worried about his own son."_(3)

Nightmare's head snapped up, but Noctis had already departed back to wherever he was hiding out.

_"Oh no...Nonononono..."_ Nightmare knew a recipe for absolute disaster when he saw it. _"I've gotta talk to Kyuu-!"_ the demonic warrior nearly shrieked in fright as the door suddenly burst open and Naruto stormed out with a string of curses.

"Fucking jackass, leaving me stumbling around in the dark; ME! It's fucking embarrassing." the masked boy grumbled to himself before finally taking note of Nightmare's presence. "Oh, hey. What's up?"

The nonchalance caused Nightmare to sweatdrop. _"Nothing. Nothing at all."_ he answered far too quickly. _"Well, Kyuubi's really pissed. You should go talk to her. Now. Before she changes her mind about eating me."_ Nightmare took hold of Naruto's shoulder and shoved him down the corridor in the direction of Kyuubi's chamber.

Naruto looked back at the soul demon with eyes narrowed in suspicion. However, quelling his mate's temper was the top priority at the moment. He certainly wasn't looking forward to it, as he knew he was going to get chewed out for his...questionable conduct in today's battles.

(?)

Twelve miles off the East coast of Uzu no Kuni, there was an tiny island. Less than a mile from end to end, it would've been little more than a insignificant speck on any map. However, this island did not appear on any map. Even the people of Whirlpool Country were unaware of its existence, save for a handful of fishermen and charter boat operators. If asked about it, those few people would all say the same thing: "Stay away; far, FAR away."

If there was ever a truly cursed location on the Earth, that island would surely be it, according to the rumors. But there was more to the island than just legends and fishermen's tales. It was documented that any and all vessels that ever traveled within half a mile of the island disappeared shortly after, only to reappear several miles away, sans crew. Of course, it was attributed to a monster or demon almost by default, something no one wanted any part of. As long as it stayed in that one spot, they were more than content to let it be and plot their courses well away from its territory.

However, the people didn't know just how right they were. This island served as the main Human World hideout of the Archdemon General of Hell's Army, Shizaru. The three people currently milling about near a small cluster of trees knew that, yet chose to remain instead of getting the hell out of dodge while they still could. That fact alone would've told anyone that these people were hardly what you'd call "normal".

And indeed, the grey-robed individuals, two male and one female, were far from normal.

"I think this is it, guys." one of the men, much larger than either of his companions, said excitedly. "I think we're finally gonna earn our wings back!"

"I don't know," the other male started as he leaned against a tree, "I think we've been taken for a ride."

"Eh?" the taller man let out a quizzical grunt.

"We were led to believe that this 'Shizaru' was one of the most badass demons around; supposedly a genuine Devil! Yet I not only got the drop on him, I ashed him with one shot. I think Kabal's info was either faulty or just outright bullshit." the shorter male said, idly examining his spear.

To say the weapon was beautiful would've been an understatement. Six feet in overall length, it had a handle made of a highly polished metal that was etched with various runes and pictures. The leaf-shaped blade was also littered with designs and markings, as were the two sharpened prongs extending out to the sides at the base. The entire spear gave off a soft golden glow, as if expressing its happiness at having served its purpose and killed an "Agent of Chaos".

The larger man huffed and took a set on the stump which his own weapon, a huge and wickedly spiked mace if similar construction to the other man's spear, leaned against. Also like the spear, the mace was covered in mysterious, hieroglyph-like markings and gave off a pale blue glow.

"You know what you're problem is, Zeph? You overanalyze and you question everything! That's why you lost your wings in the first place!"

That got a rise out of the spear-wielder. "Well, you lost your wings through sheer fucking stupidity, so it looks like neither of us have changed much over the past few decades, eh Marlow?" Zeph countered with a snarl.

Marlow answered back with a low growl and grabbed the handle of his mace before shooting to his feet. However, before he could make his way over to the other man, a soft, but commanding feminine voice stopped him cold.

"That's enough, you two." the lone female member of their group said, finally making her presence known. "There's no need to fight, we've accomplished our mission. Hopefully, the intel was correct and we've done something great. And even if he was actually a smallfry, that's still a step towards redemption for us all."

"...You're right. Forgive us, Mira." Zeph said as both he and Marlow bowed respectfully to the woman.

"There's nothing to forgive. I know how you're both feeling right now. This could be our big chance, yet we're stuck here waiting for Kabal when we should be tracking down a Vanguard to report our accomplishment." Mira let a little bitterness enter her voice.

"I hardly think getting us all killed counts as an accomplishment." the fourth member and leader of their group hissed as he appeared on the scene, his robe whipping around in the vortex of wind that accompanied him. "Why are you here?" he asked with barely restrained fury.

"Doing what you recruited us to do." Zeph replied with a shrug.

"I recruited you to carry out a specific plan!" Kabal yelled, then immediately reigned in his volume and took an almost frantic look at the surroundings before continuing. "You've deviated massively from that plan, so we need to retreat. Now!"

"A bit late for that, _Bossman_," Marlow chuckled, "your big bad 'Archdemon' is already dead; a pile of ash, probably scattered to the winds by now."

Kabal froze, eyes wide in terror and jaw quivering up and down as he made odd squeaking noises.

"Y-Y-You...W-Wha...What have you done?" he finally managed to wheeze out.

"I jammed my spear right through his face, that's what I did." Zeph said, puffing his chest out a bit. He'd been expecting praise, so was taken completely by surprise when Kabal nearly broke his jaw with a right hook.

"What the fuck?" Marlow let out a surprisingly high-pitched shriek as Zeph was sent tumbling nearly two-hundred feet from the force of the blow.

"You've doomed us all." Kabal said, both his tone and expression devoid of emotion. "You deserve worse...and you're going to get it."

"What are you talking about? Were you not listening? We. Killed. Him. It's done, it's over!" Mira said, getting right in Kabal's face. "What we need to do now is find a Vanguard."

"The closest one is some fifteen miles away; we might as well be on the Moon...All the same, he'd be of no use to us now. Even a hundred Vanguards wouldn't make much difference." Kabal said, staring into space with a look of quiet resignation and regret.

"Okay, you're really starting to freak me out." Zeph said as he stormed up to the borderline catatonic man. "Now, I'm willing to give you a chance to explain why you decked me, before I return the favor."

Kabal merely blinked, then looked at Zeph with nothing but absolute pity. "What you killed...it was just a clone, it wasn't Shizaru." his eyes suddenly darted to something behind Zeph over his shoulder and he slowly lifted a his violently shaking right arm to point it out. "..._That_ is Shizaru."

In an instant, a sense of dread more powerful than anything they had ever felt washed over the entire group. It struck so violently that both Zeph and Mira retched and emptied the contents of their stomachs on the ground, and Marlow fell to his knees and began to gasp for air as if he was being physically choked. Only Kabal managed to stay on his feet, if just barely.

Twenty feet away, the shadow of a single tree darkened until it became a void; a gaping maw threatening to devour everything around it And out of that horrid abyss stepped a creature that had plagued the nightmares of Celestials for centuries. The one Devil at the very top of every list of beasts never to engage. The monstrous Right Hand of the Chaos God himself.

_**"Oh? Kabal, fancy meeting you here. What's it been, four-hundred years since we last met?"**_ Shizaru greeted with disarming nonchalance.

"Three-hundred and eighty-six years, and five months." Kabal replied robotically.

_**"Ah, been counting the days, I see. No doubt you're here for revenge, or something like that, right?" **_

"Would you blame me if I was?"

_**"No, I just would've thought you were smarter than that. Then again, Fallen**_(4)_**or not, you're still a Celestial." **_Shizaru chuckled derisively. _**"I mean, not only were you dumb enough to try and kill me in the first place, but you don't even have a backup plan." **_his hood turned slightly, indicating that he was now looking at the Kabal's three accomplices. _**"And then there's your...help. I can understand and appreciate you not wanting to die alone, but you must have really been desperate to sign on with these three."**_

Mira, Zeph and Marlow wanted to be outraged by the total lack of respect from the Archdemon, perhaps even give him a piece of their minds. But they didn't dare risk making him angry.

"You know them." Kabal stated.

_**"Of course. I know everything about them; from their former ranks, to the reasons they lost their wings. Knowledge is power, as they say." **_Shizaru's left arm came out from behind his back and all three claws shot out from his sleeve, causing the Celestials to flinch involuntarily. _**"And that is why you won't be leaving this island."**_(5)

(Kumogakure - Level One Trauma Center)

Within a special, hidden room in the lower levels of the center, Naruto's broken and eviscerated body laid encased within a negative pressure ventilator, more commonly known as an "Iron Lung". This was done for two reasons. One: to take some of the workload off of the Kyuubi once Naruto's lungs were repaired. Two: to hide true extent of his injuries from prying eyes.

That second reason was null and void for Anko Mitarashi, as well as the rest of the escort team and the Hokage. They, minus Kakashi, had been waiting at the door to the trauma center as soon as the medical team had returned, and they refused to leave Naruto's side. Most wished they had once his body was unwrapped so doctors could see if there was anything they could do. Of all the things they'd seen in their collective years as ninjas, that amount of bodily devastation easily ranked in their Top Ten lists. Needless to say, it was something that would be making regular appearances in their nightmares for a while.

Of course, the doctors had determined that the level of trauma was well beyond their capabilities, and one of them even yelled at the medical team for bringing in what was obviously a corpse. The man was quickly silenced when it was learned that Naruto was a Jinchuuriki, and that his demon was still hard at work trying to repair the damage. From there, Naruto was rushed to a secret, underground room designed and reserved specifically for Yugito to recover from her more severe training accidents.

The walls were heavily reinforced and littered with seals that kept all forms of energy contained and undetectable from the outside. The medical equipment, though little more than formalities in most cases, was state-of-the-art and specially made to handle youki as well as chakra. And, as per Yugito's frequent requests/demands, the room, despite the equipment, didn't have the normal "hospital vibe". The walls were painted a relatively light indigo, a recliner and an expensive-looking sofa sat in a living room-like area in the middle of the room, as well as a complete entertainment system, and there was even an actual kitchen on the far side away from all the medical machinery.

All in all, it looked more like an apartment than a hospital room, and they all knew Naruto would appreciate it when he woke up. It was no secret that he _despised_ hospitals.

While it was originally decided that the room would be guarded by some of Kumo's finest ANBU, the escort team wouldn't have any of it. They demanded to be allowed to watch over their comrade themselves. Sarutobi had said that he couldn't possibly allow all of them to stay with Naruto, but not a single one of them budged, not even Gai.

Mitara had summed up their feelings nicely with a single sentence: "With all due respect, Hokage-sama, I will fight you if I have to, but I'm not leaving."

Seeing the conviction in their eyes and hearing it in their words, Sarutobi was forced to relent. He knew he would've done the same in their position. From there it was agreed upon that they would watch over Naruto in two hour shifts, and immediately report any new developments to the Hokage.

Deliberation about who would take the first shift was halted when Anko marched into the room and slammed the door. Currently, she was halfway through the first hour of her shift, and had yet to take her eyes off of the contraption that was supposedly helping Naruto. Of course, she knew what it was; she'd spent nearly a week inside of one after a mission gone wrong. But, as far as she was concerned, Kumo was still hostile territory, which was the reason she was in the village in the first place, and she hardly trusted them.

"Dammit, Naruto..." Anko sighed, unable to think of anything else to say even after staring at the boy for half an hour.

Of course, Naruto didn't respond, though Anko half expected him to. It would be just like him to crack an eye open and deliver some smartass one-liner right about now. But this wasn't a spar gone awry, and a broken neck was among the _least_ severe injuries. He wouldn't be getting up anytime soon, and Anko knew that the sooner she accepted it, the better.

Feeling restless, Anko rose from the recliner she'd moved next to the ventilator and walked over to the table Naruto's possessions were placed on. With a sad smile, she picked up his infamous mask and held it close.

"...Finally got your mask..." Anko said, letting out a bitter scoff.

After spending such a long time chasing after the mask, as if it were some kind of trophy, Anko had come to see it like most others. It was Naruto's defining physical trait, and played a huge role in him becoming something of a larger-than-life figure in Konoha. It had even gotten to the point where the mask itself had its own special mythos surrounding it. But, when it came right down to it, it was just a mask.

"Heh...All this time, I thought Naruto and I were so much alike." Anko muttered and turned her eyes back to the mask. "But now, it looks like I have more in common with you than him."

When people said that Naruto would slice your arm off for touching him, or tear out your throat for uttering certain words, they weren't just repeating rumors and hearsay. What happened to people who crossed the line with Naruto was well documented. But when people said that Anko was a wild and exceedingly violent sexual deviant, it just wasn't true.

The cuts and broken bones some civilians and lower level shinobi had suffered at her hand were because of unpardonable words and/or actions on their part. Her "party animal" reputation stemmed from the fact that, on the rare occasion that she was invited to a party, she wanted to make sure everyone had a good time. This was mainly because she wanted to be remembered as the life of the party, and thus first on the list for invitations to the next one.

And as far as being a sexual deviant went, Anko doubted anyone, save for a select few, would believe her if she told them the truth: that she had just four non-solo sexual experiences under her belt, only two of which culminated in actual intercourse. The third was the base of her infamy, as it ended with a man in a latex gimp suit running from her apartment, screaming like his balls had just been chopped off. In fact, he was running because he had narrowly avoided such a fate after attempting to force Anko into an BDSM game. The final one was cut short after she discovered her then-boyfriend had only been going out with her to "find out if the stories were true". She was so distraught that she allowed him to leave without injury.

To this day, that man still bragged about blowjob he'd gotten before he, in a moment of orgasm-induced stupidity, let his true intentions slip out.

But the people of Konoha didn't know the circumstances behind the events, nor did they care to know. They took it all at face value and quickly assigned a label to her.

And Anko was fine with that. It helped her craft an image and persona that allowed her to get through the day rarely revealing what she truly felt and thought. If people wanted to invent reasons to keep away from her, then so be it; less work for her to do. But Anko thought that her friends had known. Known that she wasn't some raging nymphomaniac with a love for all things weird and kinky. Known that didn't wear her emotions on her sleeves. Known that she was a far more complex creature than she appeared to be.

But one night, a year and a half ago, changed her perceptions of the people she once called "friends".

(Flashback)

"Oh no." newly-minted Jōnin Kurenai Yūhi groaned as Anko volunteered for the next karaoke song and hopped up onto the stage. "Someone, please, get her down from there."

After she'd passed her Jōnin Exam with flying colors, Kurenai's friends insisted on celebrating. The "Ice Queen" had agreed, on the condition that they'd keep it small and private. To that extent, they had chosen some random, hole-in-the-wall karaoke bar in the Northern sector of the village as the site for the festivities. But they should've known that "small", "private" and "celebration" were three words that NEVER went together when Anko Mitarashi was involved.

Once the purple-haired Mistress of Mischief arrived, things immediately picked up. The drinks and the jokes kept on coming as Anko did virtually anything and everything to turn the party from "mild", to "manic".

"Hey, come on, give her a chance." Mitara, who'd been invited by Anko, along with Inaro and Isaro, said from his stool next to Kurenai. "She just might surprise you."

"That's exactly what I'm afraid of. You know as well as I do that tact isn't exactly Anko's strongsuit." Kurenai didn't catch the semi-irritated glance the ANBU Captain gave her. "She's liable to say _anything_ up there!"

Kurenai had made no effort to keep her voice down, and Anko had heard everything she said. It stung, she admitted, to hear the person she thought of as her best friend make such remarks. Didn't Kurenai know her better than that? Whatever, it didn't matter anyway. She was about the prove her, and all her other detractors wrong!

'If I end up regretting this, it's gonna be your ass, Mitara!' Anko thought before she started to clear her mind of all things but the song she had chosen.

Mitara smirked as he saw Anko close her eyes and breathe deeply. He had convinced her to do this after he had heard her sing in the shower two days earlier. She had a lovely voice, one that shouldn't have been confined to her bathroom. Besides, it was a chance to make her "fans" eat some crow.

Out of the corner of his eye, Mitara saw Kurenai swivel around on her stool and make to get up, presumably to drag Anko off the stage.

"Sit down, Yūhi." Mitara ordered, leveling a harsh glare on the woman.

"What? I'm just going to-" Kurenai tried to explain, but the ANBU wasn't having any of it.

"I know what you were going to do, and that's why I'm _telling_ you to put your ass back in that seat. You _think_ Anko's just going to make a fool of herself and embarrass you in the process, but I _know_ otherwise. So, you're gonna sit down, watch and listen, just like everyone else in here."

Kurenai wanted to argue, she really did. But as soon as she opened her mouth, Mitara activated his Eagle Eye Dōjutsu and gave her a look that sent a clear message: Sit. Down. Now. Not willing to risk an altercation with her superior, Kurenai complied, but not without a few grumbled obscenities.

Once the red-eyed woman was in her seat again, music erupted from the karaoke machine and Kurenai let her head drop into her hands. Whatever Anko was planning on "singing", it sounded like a pretty heavy hard rock song, if not some genre of metal. Either way, it was a very, very bad sign, as far as Kurenai was concerned.

However, a couple of fellow shinobi, who were acting as bartenders, immediately recognized the song's opening guitar riff.

"Ah shit, don't tell me she's about to butcher one of my favorite songs!" said the taller of the two, a man with short brown hair, dark green eyes and a soul patch under his lip.

"I doubt she could do any worse than you." the shorter one, who's only notable feature was bleached white hair, sniped.

"Fuck you, Sei."

"Shut up, Norima." Mitara barked, ceasing all banter as Anko began to sing.

Four minutes later, each and every person in the bar, save Mitara, was rooted to their spot with their jaws dropped in pure shock. Of course, this included Kurenai.

"Now who looks like a fool, hm?" Mitara chuckled at the woman's completely dumbfounded expression.

"I-I didn't...Since when can...What?" Kurenai stammered, unable to even form a complete sentence.

"What was that about 'butchering the song'?" Mitara turned to the two Jōnin behind the bar.

"...Wow." Sei breathed and started to pull at the collar of his shirt. "Why is it so hot in here?"

Norima said nothing, but brought his hands up and began to clap slowly. That was the best cover of "Waiting For..."(6)he'd ever heard! The karaoke mic was kind of crappy, but with some higher quality equipment, he thought she could give the original artist herself a run for her money!

Surprisingly, once Norima started clapping, several others followed suit. Within seconds, it was almost like an actual concert performance, with people cheering and whistling. One guy even shouted, "Marry Me!".

"...That actually works?" Inaro, also clapping, asked as he turned to his brother, referring to the "Slow Clap" movie cliché.

"Meh, not _everything_ you see in the movies is total bullshit." Isaro shrugged, then let out a wolf-whistle.

At first, Anko was understandably overwhelmed by the reaction, being so unused to getting praise. It actually made her someone uncomfortable, suspicious even. Maybe they were just trying to lull her into a false sense of security? But when she finally caught sight of her friends, all of whom were on their feet and cheering, any and all fears were put to rest.

With a giddy, almost fangirl-like squeal, Anko jumped from the stage and launched herself at Mitara for an almighty glomp.

"!"

Mitara just laughed heartily as he returned the hug. "See, what'd I tell you?" the grin Anko gave him said more than any words ever could.

After one final squeeze, Anko let the ANBU go and stepped around him to lean over the bar.

"I'm paying for the next round of drinks, but I want the _good_ stuff, not that watered-down crap you've got back there." Anko said to Norima while gesturing flippantly at the assorting alcohol behind the bar.

Both Norima and Sei cocked their eyebrows and turned to look at the rack of booze behind them.

'..."Watered-down crap"?' they thought in unison.

"That's ninety-proof vodka!" Sei informed, looking at Anko as if she had grown a second head.

"Tch, worse than I thought." Anko scoffed.

Norima shook his head in disbelief. "I would argue with you, but after that I just heard, you can have whatever you want, on the house."

"You can do that?" Inaro asked before downing a shot at the same time as his brother.

"I'm back here, aren't I? Besides, I've been selling drinks for the past hour and nobody's said a word about it." Norima shrugged, then turned back to Anko. "So, how high do you wanna go?"

"How high _can_ you go?" Anko countered.

"Well, since the normal vodka is too 'weak' for you, there's some a hundred and twenty proof in the storeroom."

"Sounds...decent." Anko smirked when Norima's eyebrows nearly shot up to his hairline. "I feel like you're holdin' out on me. What else ya' got?"

"Fine. If you're that set on murdering your brain cells, there's some Toko-akiraka back there, too."

"One-fifty-one or one-ninety?"

"Both."

"Whoo-hoo!" Anko cheered, then hopped over the bar and dashed through the door to the storeroom.

"...You realize you've just doomed us all, right?" Sei deadpanned.

"Oh please, she's not _that_ bad." Mitara chuckled.

"Yeah, says the big, bad ANBU Captain. She may not be able to catch you, but us lowly Jōnin have to constantly look over our shoulders for the rest of the night!"

"Sucks to be you then, eh?" Mitara replied as he winked at a young woman he had noticed watching him from across the bar. He also noticed that Inaro and Isaro had made their way over to a table occupied by two women who looked to be twins themselves. 'Huh, lucky them.'

"Hmph, yeah, sucks to be us...Say, you think I've got a chance? With Anko, I mean." Norima turned to Sei.

"..." the white-haired man just stared at his friend.

"What?"

"Nothing, just waiting for the punchline."

"Hey, I'm serious! Now that I'm thinking about it, she's my kind of woman. She's hot, she knows how to have a good time, she's a tiger in the sack, and that voice...Holy shit, that voice." Norima sighed like a lovestruck schoolboy. "Makes me wonder why she chose to be a kunoichi instead of a singer."

It was then that Kurenai decided to throw her two ryō in.

"Were she a musician, she wouldn't be getting paid to kill people, steal things and sleep with total strangers, now would she?" she said almost bitterly, not noticing the scathing look Mitara was directing at her.

"True. So, do you think I have a chance? Y'know, if she's good and plastered?" Norima asked his friend again, looking at him almost as if Sei's approval alone would seal the deal.

Sei just rolled his eyes and started cleaning some glasses. "Drunk or not, if you've got a dick, you've got a chance with her." he felt a sudden sense of foreboding and looked over to see that the ANBU Captain had turned a glare on him.

Mitara was about to reprimand both men, until he noticed Anko standing in the doorway to the storeroom. Her head was bowed and her hair kept Mitara from reading her expression. Looking down, he noticed the bottle of clear alcohol in her right hand was shaking ever so slightly.

Anko couldn't believe what she had just heard. Well, actually, she could, as things like that were the "norm" in conversations about her. It was who she'd heard it from that had her struggling not to cry or send someone to the hospital. Sei and Norima had been two of her most frequent mission partners, and their easy-going, fun-loving attitudes made them ideal friends. In fact, they'd ranked alongside Mitara, Naruto and the Twins on the list of people Anko thought of as family. But there they were, talking about her like she really was the psychotic slut created by the rumor mill.

And then there was Kurenai. That hit Anko the hardest, hearing the woman she thought of as her closest friend say those things about her, and not even attempt to defend her from Sei's slander.

'Everytime...Every goddamn time...' Anko could feel the tears coming and decided she couldn't stay in the bar a second longer.

With speed few knew she possessed, Anko bolted out through the front door, knocking down three civilians along the way.

"Wait, Anko!" Mitara shouted, but knew it was no use. "Goddammit!" he pushed off the bar and made to leave, but stopped short and turned around to level an absolutely vicious glare on Sei and Norima.

The two men subconsciously huddled together, like a couple of rabbits cornered by a wolf. The couldn't stop themselves from flinching when Mitara lifted his right arm and pointed at them.

"...If Anko doesn't gut you herself, I will." Mitara then looked at Kurenai, who had the nerve to look totally clueless. "And you...Good luck in your Jōnin career. You're going to need it." he said in as mocking a tone as he could achieve, then vanished in a puff of smoke.

Meanwhile, Anko was already nearly a mile away, bounding across rooftops and chugging booze at the same time.

"Stupid fuckers..." the purple-haired woman muttered to herself, paying no attention to the tears still streaming from her eyes and being swept away by the wind as she moved. "Who needs 'em...I don't...Not a single one of 'em..." she finally stopped on top of a telephone pole, taking another swig before looking around to see where she was.

Turned out that she'd been heading towards Naruto's place without even realizing it..

Just thinking about the masked boy brought a slight smile to Anko's face. "I think...I think I'll go an' pay my fffavorite Jinshooowhatever a visit." she consumed another mouthful of a hundred and ninety-proof "super liquor" before setting off again.

(End Flashback)

Anko could barely recall what happened after that. She remembered going to see Naruto and talking to him, then it all went blank. The next thing she remembered was waking up on Naruto's couch with the worst hangover she'd ever experienced before or since.

When she got back to her apartment, she found Mitara waiting for her with Sei and Norima, bruised and battered, laying wrapped up on her living room floor like two birthday presents. Anko readily admitted that she took a great deal of pleasure in watching the ANBU Captain force the two Jōnin to apologies for what they had said about her. Not quite up to T & I Department standards, but he definitely had potential.

"You know...after that night, I never sang again, not even in the shower." Anko snorted. "You'd probably think I'm pathetic, letting what others think dictate what I do even in the privacy of my own home." she stared down at the mask and her vision began to blur as tears fell onto it. "But...I'd sing for you."

(Naruto's Mindscape)

We find Naruto standing in the middle of a corridor, nervously shifting his weight from foot to foot. Just around the next corner was the entrance to Kyuubi's personal chamber. He'd been standing there for a good five minutes, going through the pros and cons of going to his mate if she was as angry as he thought she was. But hopefully the fact that he was her mate would prevent her from hurting him _too_ badly.

Steeling himself, Naruto marched down the corridor and rounded the corner. Next thing he knew, there was flash of red and he was violently lifted into the air and dragged into the chamber. After being unceremoniously dumped on the floor, Naruto looked up to see a Devil Claw retracting into the massive youki shroud currently enveloping Kyuubi's human form.

Naruto's resolve was instantly broken. Never had Kyuubi looked so intimidating. Not as a gigantic fox, not standing over him with a ridiculously large hammer, not barreling at him as an entire army carrying every imaginable type of weapon. Now there was genuine malice in her eyes, and it had Naruto sweating bullets even in his own mind.

"I, uh...Hi?" Naruto all but squeaked.

**"I see he finally let you go." **Kyuubi said, not even bothering to look at her mate.

"Yeah, he-"

**"I've been waiting to hear your explanation for your actions today." **

"Well I-!" Naruto was cutoff again, this time by a Devil Claw rocketing out of Kyuubi's shroud and smashing him into a wall. As he extricated himself from the imprint his body had made, Naruto sighed heavily. That was a warning. "I...I have no excuse for what I did..."

He didn't catch the ever-so-slight twitch of Kyuubi's right eyebrow.

**"Yes, you do, and I want to hear it." **the demoness said as she finally laid her eyes on the masked boy. **"I want to hear your reasons behind that idiotic recklessness."**

Unable to suppress a shudder of fear, Naruto gulped before replying. "I wanted to...I wanted to test myself. I've been waiting a long time for an opponent that I could go all-out on, without consequences." he paused for a moment, running a hand through his hair. "I thought I had found that opponent, but...he proved to be incredibly disappointing, especially for a supposed S-Class nukenin. I...I suppose I drew things out...in hopes that he had something up his sleeve that would make him a legitimate challenge."

Kyuubi's entire body tensed with rage and a violent tremor rocked the entire mindscape, caused by a split-second outburst of her power.

**"Now that you've said it out loud, do you realize how completely **_**fucking**_** stupid that sounds?"** she hissed, her normally delicate and regal facial features twisted into a vicious snarl.

"..."

**"I asked you a question."**

"Yes, I know how it sounds..." Naruto kept his eyes on the floor, a feeling of utter shame overwhelming him at that point.

**"No, I don't think you do. Let me put it into perspective for you. A fellow Jinchuuriki's life was on the line, you told her you'd take care of the Jashinist and come back to help her with the masked one, yet you still insisted on playing games. Not only that, you let things get to the point where you 'had' to use pure youki. And to top it all off, you sucker-kicked SHIZARU, of all people; after he STABBED you in HALF!" **Kyuubi was screaming by the time she finished.

"...If you already knew all that, then why didn't you just stop me?" Naruto asked, not really thinking his response through.

**"Forgive me for trusting in your common-fucking-sense. I'll be sure to hold your hand through the next battle." **Kyuubi snorted, looking down on Naruto in a way she never thought she would. Never had she been more disappointed in him.

Naruto had no comeback for that, so he settled for fuming internally. Kyuubi was really pouring it on, and he was beginning to feel a frustratingly familiar sense of helplessness from just being in her presence.

Kyuubi's scowl lightened just a bit with Naruto's lack of response. He had actually earned a few points back for staying quiet instead of trying to defend his pride.

For what seemed like hours, the two were like statues, unmoving and silent. Kyuubi kept her glare on Naruto, her anger not wavering in the slightest. If not for the fact that healing such extensive damage required so much focus on her part, she would've given him a lesson in pain just _slightly_ less severe than Shizaru's handiwork. Naruto hadn't moved from his spot near the now-repaired wall he'd been bashed into and kept his eyes on the floor. Arguing any further was futile, and he knew it.

But, if he could steer the conversation away from his mistakes...

"...Are you familiar with a game called 'War'?" Naruto asked tentatively, not sure how Kyuubi would take him questioning her so soon.

**"Very; I helped develop the 'Gameboard'...Don't tell me that's what you were doing all that time." **receiving a nod from the masked boy, Kyuubi rolled her eyes. **"Figures. That's been a favorite of Shizaru's from the moment it was first introduced."**

"I beat him."

**"He let you." **

"I know, but I think I really did catch him by surprise with my last move." Naruto tried his best not to sound like he was bragging.

**"What, did you do something so dumb that he couldn't comprehend it, let alone prepare for it?" **Kyuubi mocked.

Naruto scowled behind his mask. "Okay, I've had just about enough of the condescending bitch routine, Kyuubi. I fucked up, I realize that and admit do it; but don't sit there and act like you're innocent in all this!"

Kyuubi just rose an eyebrow. **"Really? Are you really going to try and pin the blame on me? Oh, this I gotta hear."**

"I'm not pinning anything on you. What I AM doing is calling you out for withholding what might be vital information from me."

**"And how did you come to that conclusion?"**

"The very first time I met him, you said that you knew him. And based on what you said a moment ago, it went beyond mere acquaintances. You even said you once both had the same 'Master' in this 'Arcarian'. From what he told me, what you gave me was only part of the story. You didn't just know him, you were good friends with him and used to invent things with his aid. Things like my cloak, which is now a liability since he can control it. He also said that you held a position in Hell's Army even higher than he does now. Sounds like you've got the inside scoop on what's going on here, and didn't bother telling me."

Kyuubi recoiled as if struck. **"If you think I'd do something like that, to you, then you're a bigger idiot than I thought. Yes, at one time I was part of Hell's Army, and Shizaru was one of only a handful of 'colleagues' I was fond of. But I gave all that up thousands of years ago, so I don't have a clue as to what Arcarian wants with you." **Kyuubi sounded genuinely offended by the accusation. **"And I told you that I didn't remember who made the cloak."**

"And you never even thought that it might've been him?" Naruto pressed.

**"..."**

Naruto couldn't help but smirk at his small victory. "The point is, there seems to be a lot that you could've told me, but didn't."

**"I told you all I thought you needed to know."**

"Which was next to nothing." Naruto replied as he crossed his arms over his chest. "All you told me was that he could use the Darkness element and had access to the Shadow Realm. What about the claws? Or the 'Shinsoku' thing? Or the fact that he's a walking encyclopedia? Sure, it wouldn't have allowed me to beat him, or anything, but it would've been nice to at least know what to expect."

**"I'll admit that I should've told you what kind of weapon he used, but I've got no idea what a 'Shinsoku' is. And he's a five-thousand, seven-hundred year old Devil; no shit he's a walking encyclopedia!"**

"Fair enough, but that still doesn't change the fact that you've got information that I need. Ever since we first 'officially' met, I've respected your privacy and never asked you about your past. But now that your past is coming back to haunt ME, I think I deserve to have some questions answered." Naruto said as he walked up to the edge of Kyuubi's shroud and sat down in front of her.

**'Knowledge is power...' **Kyuubi thought, then let out a sound somewhere between a sigh and a growl. **"Fine, ask away. I'll answer truthfully, but I will gloss over details as I see fit. Deal?"**

"...Deal." Naruto sifted through the questions he wanted to ask, picking out the ones he deemed the most important for the first round. "What do you know about Shizaru?"

**"Well, for one, he's absolutely brilliant; a genius even by Devil standards. That's how he became the General of Hell's Army. Powerful, intelligent, loyal and unflinching; the perfect soldier and an ideal leader."**

"I've got the whole 'he's a genius' part. I'm more interested in his power, and how far I'll need to go to at least match it."

**"Unless you've got a couple thousand years to spare on constant training, give up any notions of ever being his equal. The only way you'll even have a **_**slight**_** chance of beating him is if you exploit his inherent weakness to Divine Techniques, like Return to Purity. As you know, they're deadly to demons, but even moreso to Devils like him."**

"That's the third time you've brought up 'Devils'. Are they like a different class of demon, or something?"

**"Something like that. Devils are what most demons wish they could be. The upper echelon of Hellbeasts, gifted with vast amounts of the purest and most potent forms of youki. However, they only keep that power if they stay in Hell. Once they leave, their youki is instantly diluted and weakened, and they're downgraded to 'mere' demons. Even beings that were demons in Hell will be weakened if they leave. However, there is a way around it. If a demonic being is sent out of Hell for a special task by a stronger one, they're often branded with a special seal that allows them to keep their power beyond Hell. From then on, they are labeled as 'Archdemons'." **Kyuubi explained.

"And Shizaru is one of these 'Archdemons'?"

**"Yes. So I suppose you can take some small comfort in the fact that you didn't get your ass kicked by a handicapped Shizaru." **Kyuubi then frowned. **"On second thought, nevermind. You DID get your ass kicked by a handicapped Shizaru."**

Naruto's entire body twitched. "Come again?"

**"While he's certainly not the strongest Devil around, Shizaru still wields incredible power. However, he was born a normal human, even lower than the average civilian by today's standards, and had much of that power dumped on him in a very short period of time. When I really got to know him, he'd already had nearly seven-hundred years of experience, and still wasn't able to properly control more than thirty percent of his total power. Similar to your...**_**mishap**_** earlier, he couldn't regulate the output to a more manageable level beyond that point. Fast-forward eight-hundred years or so, and he invented the 'Shadow Gate Seal'; a limiter that holds back the bulk of his power and allows him to release it at different percentages whenever he needs to." **Kyuubi paused to rub her chin in thought. **"If I had to guess, I'd say Shizaru was at no more than twenty percent when he took on your four-tailed state. For the rest of the beatdown, less than ten percent."**

Naruto's hands clenched into fists at the newest tidbit of info. The more he learned about Shizaru, the more hopeless his situation seemed to get. It was enough to make him seriously consider just giving in and saving himself some future pain.

"...Then how am I supposed to beat him? What can I do against someone who I can't overpower, outsmart, outmaneuver or outlast? I can't even exploit his weaknesses! I'm incapable of using Light techniques, and I'd never get the chance to use a Divine Technique on him; he's just too fast. So what options am I left with?" though it sounded like a rhetorical question, it was plain to see that it was a plea towards Kyuubi.

Unlike Naruto, Kyuubi COULD overpower, outsmart, outmaneuver and outlast Shizaru. But, as long as she was stuck inside him, that didn't amount of much. Hopefully, she could at least point him towards a viable strategy.

**"I would say find the best Demon Hunters around and learn all you can from them. But, unfortunately, the best Demon Hunters around appear to be Akatsuki. Beyond that...well, there is one alternative, but Shizaru might be the LESSER of two evils in comparison."**

"Not much better than having no choices at all, then...Oh well, what is it?" Naruto asked with a sigh.

**"You could search for a Vanguard and see if you can get a message to the God of Order. Shizaru's been a major thorn in his side ever since he became General of Hell's Army, and I'm sure he'd jump at the chance to get rid of him. And if not, there are more than a few Celestials that would be more than willing to help you out if only for a shot at revenge."**

"...Yeah, you lost me at 'Vanguard'." Naruto deadpanned.

Kyuubi pinched the bridge of her nose and muttered something that Naruto couldn't make out. **"Celestials, or 'Angels' as you'd know them, are real, just like demons. And just like the stories say, they are the sworn enemies of all things demonic. They are broken up into three different groups: Vanguard, Seraph and Harbinger. These groups themselves are separated into classes based on power and ability, the highest being Class Five. Vanguards are the frontline soldiers, stationed wherever the God of Order feels the need to be, which is everywhere. They are the first responders to any threat to balance and order, a.k.a. demons. They also keep track of Variables, making sure they aren't threats themselves."**

"So these 'Vanguards' are in Konoha?"

**"Dozens of them, most posing as members of the police force, keeping order without revealing themselves." **Kyuubi's brow furrowed. **"Well, that used to be the case when I visited the Konoha decades ago in my human form. I had at least six of them watching my every move at any given time. But, when I came for Orochimaru, I didn't sense a single one, nor have I sensed any since I was sealed into you. I suspect they've all been killed, and Shizaru is the most likely culprit. He's made a reputation out of killing Celestials for sport, but if his job is to recruit you, then he would've killed them to make sure they didn't kill you."**

"Of course the 'Angels' want me dead." Naruto rolled his eyes. "Any particular reason why? Or is it just because I exist?"

**"Because you exist. I'd say you're one of the single greatest Variables on the planet right now, and that in itself makes you dangerous from their point of view. Add to that the fact that you're important enough to Arcarian for him to send his Right Hand after you, and you've got one hell of a bullseye on your head."**

"Awesome. So, what's a Variable?"

**"Under normal circumstances, the Gods are omnipotent; they can see everything that you do, and everything that you're going to do, right down to when, where and how you'll die. Yes, that means destiny and fate are very real for most beings in this world. However, when a being comes into contact with the 'Essence of Chaos', it renders them invisible to the Gods, for lack of a better term. These beings are known as 'Variables', and they each have the potential to completely throw the Gods' 'All-seeing Eye' out of whack. See, since they can't track Variables, they can't see how one will factor into the destiny of a being they can see. So, when a Variable comes into contact with a 'Constant' in any way, it effectively alters their fate and turns them into a Variable as well. And before you ask, yes, you've most likely turned the entire population of Konoha into Variables by now."**

"Good to know." somehow, Naruto just knew that wasn't a good thing. "So, 'Essence of Chaos'?"

**"Youki. Celestials call it that because that's really what it is, the energy of the God of Chaos; the creator of all things demonic." **

"That would be Arcarian. If this guy's a God, then why haven't I ever heard of him?" even if you weren't particularly religious, _everyone_ knew about the Gods.

**"Because he uses avatars, just like the other Gods. The only God any human really knows about is the Shinigami. The other three are known only by their avatars, and have been given false titles because of it."**

"What about Kami?"

**"There is no such being. It is actually an amalgam of aspects of the Goddess of Life and the God of Order. She's the benevolent healer and answerer of prayers, and he's the one who smites people. Well, his Celestials do anyway."**

"God of Chaos, God of Order, GodDESS of Life and God of Death. Any more I should know about?"

**"Not really. Those are the Four Originals; the first and ONLY true Gods. All the others, Raiden, Amaterasu, Jashin, they're all 'Demi-Gods'. I can't speak for the others, but I know Arcarian likes to call the ones he created his 'children'. In reality, most are simply the result of a God with too much free time and a severe case of boredom."**

"Wow..." Naruto blinked behind his mask. The kind of information he was getting...It was the kind of stuff that could turn the entire world on its head!

**"Amazing how little humans know, isn't it? They accept legends and folktales as fact and never bother looking any further." **Kyuubi frowned.

Through Naruto's ears, she heard the stories about her that were told throughout Konoha, often to little children. Stories about her sweeping across the country, reducing settlements to rubble and ash on a whim. She took offense to her depiction as a rampaging beast fueled by hatred and rage. That has the Hachibi's thing.

"'Amazing' isn't the word I'd use. 'Pathetic' works much better." Naruto snorted.

**"Please. When's the last time **_**you**_** actually looked into a legend to see if it was really true? You take things at face value just like they do, unless **_**I**_** tell you otherwise. So I suggest you get off your high horse." **Kyuubi wasn't about to let Naruto start inflating his ego again, not after the stunts he'd pulled.

"..." Naruto stayed silent and broke eye contact to look off to his left.

**"Now that your pride is back in-check, we can get back to business. Arcarian...There isn't much I can really tell you about him that would be relevant right now, I'm afraid." **Kyuubi admitted.

"Come again?" Naruto twitched.

**"The Arcarian that's around now isn't the one I used to serve. Back then, he wasn't so...well, evil. And before you bring up him being the Father of Demons, not all demons are evil, so it stands to reason that the one who created them wasn't all bad either. He was just...chaotic; completely unpredictable. As a friend of mine once put it, he was just as likely to rain down hellfire on you as he was to rain down puppies**(7)**. And towards those in his favor, he was quite nice most of the time, beyond the destructive pranks that is. But after a gathering with the other Gods, he...changed. He was mean and angry all day, everyday, and sent myself and others out to just randomly destroy things more and more often." **Kyuubi closed her eyes and let out a shuddering sigh. **"Even when we followed his orders to the letter, we weren't safe from his newfound cruelty. From the lowest footsoldier, to his Right Hand, every survivor from that time period has stories to tell and scars to bare."**

Kyuubi turned her back to Naruto and slowly slipped her kimono off of her shoulders. As it fell, a huge, jagged scar was revealed; running from her right shoulder, all the way down to her left hip. Even though it must have been inflicted thousands of years ago, it was still an angry red color, like you'd expect from a wound only days old. In fact, it looked like it would tear open if she moved the wrong way.

**"I told you that only three wounds have left scars on my body, one being from the Yondaime Hokage, and another being from the Hachibi. This is the one I didn't want to talk about back then. I still don't want to talk about it, and I won't, but you at least deserve to see what I've kept hidden for so long." **with a wave of her hand, Kyuubi's kimono wrapped itself around her body, once again hiding the scar before she turned back to Naruto. **"To give you an idea of what Arcarian can do, he gave me that wound nearly six-thousand years ago, and it still bled every now and then before I was sealed. However, I don't really see it as my worst wound, at least in terms of actual damage and appearance. That 'honor' belongs to the one given to my by the Eight-tailed Demon Lord." **Kyuubi held up her left hand and Naruto could only look on in mute horror as the appendage turned a pale blue-ish color, as if it was fresh out of a morgue. **"Biologically, my left arm, from the elbow down, is dead. The Hachibi pumped a LOT of venom into it; so much that I couldn't neutralize it all. I managed to stop it from spreading, but that's about it."**

"Oh, God, Kyuubi..." Naruto started, but was interrupted when Kyuubi gave him a hard look.

**"Don't start. This is exactly why I chose to hide these wounds from you. I don't need, nor do I want your pity, or even your sympathy. That's the past, and I've moved on, and I don't need you reminding me of it everytime you look at me!" **the Fox Queen all but growled.

She knew how things would be between her and her mate for a while to come. Naruto would go out of his way not to stare at the sites of her scars, even if she hid them. Even though he _thought_ he'd be sparing her feelings, it would do nothing but make her more self-conscious about them. It had taken her millennia to get over "losing" her arm and having her formerly-flawless back forever marred!

"I...I'm sorry..." Naruto apologized, hanging his head in shame. He'd been doing that a lot recently.

**"Don't be. Worry about your own scars."**

"Hm? But...I don't have any." Naruto lifted his head and cocked it to the side a little.

**"You will. Believe me, you will."** his current injuries, as extensive as they were, would heal without a trace, assuming they healed before he succumbed to them. It took something special to scar a demon, even a hanyou. **"Just be thankful that Shizaru didn't pump any youki into his claws, otherwise your midsection would be quite a sight even after it healed. And speaking of Shizaru, ask him about The Great Clash and The Thousand Year War next time he's around. As far as significant events go, those two are at the very top of the list."**

"...Don't want to talk about it?"

**"Don't want to talk about it."** Kyuubi confirmed. **"Anything else you want to know?" **despite the question inviting Naruto to ask away, her tone indicated that her patience was wearing thin. While multitasking like this wasn't that difficult, she preferred to devote her full attention to something as important as saving her mate's life.

"...Well, there is _one_ thing I've wanted to know for a while now..."

(Trauma Center Room)

Though it only seemed as if half an hour had passed inside Naruto's mind, it had been three times that in the outside world. In that time, Anko's shift had ended and Inaro had taken her place while she went to get something to eat. Of course, wherever Inaro was, Isaro wasn't far.

"I'd be lying if I said I thought we'd ever end up in this kind of position." Inaro said as he leaned back into the chair next to the contraption that was keeping Naruto alive. Or at least making it easier for Kyuubi to do so.

"You and me both." Isaro replied, idly fiddling with the remote to the flatscreen television. "I don't think anyone could've seen this coming."

First, they had been assembled for a mission to escort the Hokage into a place that had ALWAYS been considered enemy territory, for peace talks. And now they were staring at Naruto _freaking_ Namikaze, mutilated almost beyond recognition, barely clinging to life inside of an iron lung.

How did it happen? Naruto was always the one who did the mutilating, and left people bleeding out on the Shinigami's doorstep. What kind of _monster_ did it take to do something like _that_ to someone like _him_?

'Well, according to Yugito, it _was_ a monster.' Inaro thought, recalling the thoroughly traumatized girl's account of the scene she'd come upon while chasing a retreating Akatsuki member through the labyrinthian Kumo sewer system.

"Inaro...is it wrong to take some comfort in the fact that it _wasn't_ a human who did this to Naruto?" Isaro asked.

"I don't think so. I mean, it is something of a relief that Naruto and Yugito apparently defeated both Akatsuki. That means that when we inevitably go up against them, we've got a chance of winning, y'know?"

"I suppose." Isaro suddenly let out a small chuckle. "Our otouto really has come a long way, hasn't he?"

"Did you expect anything less? He's had personal training from the strongest demon in existence, as well as some of Konoha's finest." Inaro puffed out his own chest a bit, proud to count himself amongst the people who'd helped Naruto get to where he is today. "I knew he was destined for greatness the moment I laid eyes on him."

Isaro scoffed. "You sure that wasn't after he fractured your jaw?"

(Flashback)

"Remind me why we're out here again?" Isaro asked as he leapt through the forest canopy alongside his twin brother.

"To see what Hagashi-taicho has been up to for the past couple months." Inaro answered. "And don't you dare start complaining, okay? No one made you come along."

"Hey, it was either this or stay behind and do paperwork, so you might as well have forced me into this." Isaro countered.

"So, you finally admit that you hate paperwork as much as the rest of us, eh?" Inaro smirked behind his mask, remembering all the times his brother had said he didn't mind paperwork because it was part of his "duty to Konoha" to get it done.

"Whatever. Hm? I hear something up ahead." Isaro said, and both ANBU immediately slowed their pace and masked their chakra.

"Someone's fighting." Inaro said needlessly, as the telltale clang of metal-on-metal was more than enough to come to that conclusion. "Sounds pretty intense."

"Hmm...Well, one of them definitely the Captain." Isaro informed as he felt out the chakra signatures. "But I'm drawing a blank on the other one. It's weird. It's almost on-par with the Captain's, in terms of raw power, but...it's wild and erratic."

"Sounds like the Captain has it under control then...But what kind of squadmates would we be if we didn't provide some backup?" Inaro wondered aloud before dashing off towards the apparent battleground.

"Tch, and people call ME the nosey one." Isaro grumbled before taking off after his twin.

They tried their best to be as stealthy as humanly possible, but it wasn't enough. As they got within a hundred yards, the sounds of battle abruptly stopped and the uncontrolled chakra signature suddenly broke off from their Captain's and hightailed it in the opposite direction.

Of course, Inaro and Isaro weren't ANBU for nothing. With a slight nod, Inaro broke off to head through the forest around Mitara and catch up to the unknown party.

Isaro remained on-course and quickly came to the clearing that had served as the battleground just seconds earlier. There, he saw the Captain of his squad, Mitara Hagashi, standing in the center, his body language indicating that he wasn't exactly pleased.

"I assume you have a good reason for interrupting my apprentice's training and scaring him off?" Mitara all but snarled.

"I-wait, 'apprentice'?" Isaro repeated incredulously.

"Yes, apprentice. It's recently come to my attention that there's a little boy who's in desperate need of proper shinobi training, and I've taken it upon myself to make sure that he gets it."

"Well, I...Um...Hm, didn't expect getting an answer out of you would be so easy." Isaro admitted, scratching his head lightly.

"Well what else could I have said? That I was fighting an enemy ninja and I let him go?"

"I...I guess not, heheh..." Isaro chuckled nervously under his superior's glare.

"Where is your brother?"

"Uh...I came alone?" Isaro ventured, then fell to his knees as a fist buried itself into his gut, forcing the air from his lungs.

"The next one's going to find its way to your face." Mitara warned.

Isaro continued hacking and wheezing for a good minute before he was finally able to catch his breath and stand up.

"Inaro...went ahead to...catch your...apprentice." Isaro coughed again, wincing at the pain the action brought to his undoubtedly-bruised midsection.

"Figured as much." Mitara suddenly chuckled. "He's in for one hell of a surprise."

Seconds later, both men felt two chakra signatures rapidly approaching their position. One of definitely Inaro, so the other had to be Mitara's "student".

"Hey, Isaro!" Inaro called out as he neared the clearing. "You'll never guess who I just caugh-? Hey, what're y-GAH!" there was a loud cracking noise and the jackal-masked ANBU came flying through the tree line at startling speeds.

As he hit the ground, he bounced like a stone skipping across the surface of a lake. It was another hundred feet, easy, before he finally came to a stop.

"Ugh..." Inaro groaned as he sat up. "What the hell...?" he sounded thoroughly dazed. No surprise, considering that whatever had hit him packed sufficient force to crack his standard-issue combat mask, on top of sending him airborne for hundreds of feet.

Inaro ran over to check on his brother, while Mitara just laughed as his misfortune.

"Told ya'; one hell of a surprise!" the eagle-masked ANBU Captain cackled.

Forming the proper handseals, Isaro activated the Diagnostic medical Ninjutsu and ran his hand over Inaro's face, about an inch above the surface.

"Considering how fast and far you flew, I'd say your lucky to walk away with just a fracture." Isaro said, then set to healing the injury.

"So, he actually caught you?" Mitara said as someone walked out of the forest behind him.

"He was fast...and persistent." a voice was obviously that of a child, but it sounded...off.

To Isaro, it sounded like one of the children rescued from the "Root" program. However, even with that in mind, he wasn't prepared for what he saw. Bright blonde hair, ocean-blue eyes, three whisker-like marks on both cheeks; the trademarks of the Kyuubi Jinchuuriki, Naruto Uzumaki, were unmistakable. The boy's presence had thrown Isaro for such a loop, that the ANBU barely registered the ANBU-issue katana he was brandishing.

"Stand down, Naruto," Mitara ordered, "they're friends."

The boy immediately complied, placing the katana back in the sheath strapped across with impressive ease and fluidity. Mitara must have been serious about the training if the kid could already handle a sword that well.

"...HE'S your apprentice?" Isaro nearly shouted, pointing at Naruto.

"'Apprentice?'" Inaro repeated. "Okay, what'd I miss?"

"Yeah, he is. You got a problem with that?" Mitara asked, his tone daring either of the twins to say "yes".

"You're damn right I do!" Isaro said, for once not backing down to his Captain's veiled threats. "I've been through your training, and, as a medic, I can't condone you putting him through something like that! I mean look at him! What is he, five years old?"

"Six." Naruto and Mitara said in unison.

"Same difference!"

"Well, no offense, but I don't give a damn about what you 'condone', and I doubt Naruto does, either. If you knew what this boy has gone through, you'd know that I'm doing the right thing."

"I do know what he's gone through, as does Inaro." Isaro said, looking Mitara straight in the eye. "Like I said before, as a _medic_, I can't condone putting someone so young through such harsh training. But, as a man and a generally decent human being, I see an opportunity to make sure what's happened before doesn't happen again. Training him to defend himself will do a hell of a lot more good than any around-the-clock guard has, so count me in, Hagashi-taicho." Isaro said with a salute.

"Eh, can't let you guys have all the fun. I'm in, too." Inaro mimicked his brother's salute.

"Huh...Well, this is way beyond anything I would've expected." Mitara said, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. "Today's turning out to be pretty good! Now, I believe introductions are in order."

(End Flashback)

From that day onward, both Inaro and Isaro could put themselves on a list that featured some pretty high-profile names in Konoha. Mitara Hagashi, Anko Mitarashi, Maito Gai, Asuma Sarutobi, Hiruzen Sarutobi, Hayate Gekkō(8); they all had a hand in Naruto's meteoric rise to power and infamy. And it was suspected that even Itachi Uchiha had put some work in with the Jinchuuriki before he went rogue. Naruto denied it, of course, but there were some key similarities between the two that some felt couldn't possibly be mere coincidence.

"Y'know...When I remember the people who've taken the time to teach and train Naruto...I don't feel stupid about being optimistic." Inaro said, looking up at the strangely colorful ceiling.

"I know what you mean. Even seeing him like this...I can't say that I'm worried. I know he's gonna pull through, and be stronger for it."

Naruto excelled at virtually everything he did. But, if either twin had to choose one thing that they felt he did better than any other, it would have to be overcoming obstacles. From tales told by his other teachers and their own personal experience, they knew that Naruto never let anything stand in his way for long. No matter what you put in front of him, he always found a way around it or through it.

Were it anyone else, both Inaro and Isaro would likely ridicule someone for having such complete and utter faith in another person, even a close comrade. But this was Naruto, and betting against him was always a bad idea.

(Konohagakure no Sato - Secret Tunnels)

It was amazing how quickly Hinata picked things up when she wasn't second guessing herself every step of the way. This new Hinata didn't get depressed if she failed the first few times; she just got angry and went at it with even more vigor. And, as it turned out, her anger was the key to her success. Apparently, her new body basically operated on instinct. The more she thought about what she was doing, the harder it became. It wasn't until she just let go that she started making real progress.

Unfortunately, the only way to make her "let go" was to piss her off. Naruto's "Lab Clone" didn't particularly want to torment Hinata until she completely lost it, but it was hardly complaining. It was the most fun he'd had ever since his creation. He especially liked the youki-control exercise, which ended with him dumping a large jar of pickles on Hinata's head in order to get her to chase him onto the ceiling. Her falling off of said ceiling immediately after noticing she was walking on it was a nice little bonus.

Now, with Hinata able to move around in her new body, the lab clone had decided to start working on a way to get her back into her old body. And, until a solution was found, the clone had instructed Hinata not to bother him. But this Hinata was easily bored, and had long ago run out of ways to keep herself occupied without being a nuisance. And, unfortunately, she had lost most of her inhibitions about making herself a nuisance.

She didn't mess with the clones, since they had jobs to do, given to them by Naruto himself. But there were people in the tunnels that were fair game. Thus we now find Hinata clinging to the ceiling of one of the dozens upon dozens of winding corridors that made up the tunnel system, stalking the first of her four targets.

"...I think I'm lost." Kiriko muttered to herself as she stopped and looked around. Her natural curiosity had gotten the better of her and she'd gone exploring. All of the corridors looked the same, but there had been signs to point her towards places of interest, and clones to ask for directions. At least, there had been at first.

Now, it seemed as though Kiriko had wandered into a section of the tunnels that wasn't in use, as there were no signs and she hadn't seen a clone in what felt like hours. In reality, it had only been ten minutes. But she had traveled quite a ways in those ten minutes, and barely remembered any of it. The sheer monotony of her surroundings had caused her mind to wander as well, leaving her body to move around basically on autopilot.

"Yep, definitely lost." the former Kiri kunoichi sighed. She wasn't at all concerned about her predicament, just annoyed. All she had to do was pulse her chakra and wait. One of Naruto's clones was bound to feel it, figure something was up and some to check it out.

Forming a half ram seal, Kiriko concentrated a miniscule amount of her chakra. But, as she prepared to release it for a "distress signal", a bit of dust from the ceiling fell onto her head.

"Wha-!" before Kiriko even got out a single word, her world went dark as something wrapped around her head and hoisted her upward.

Once her quarry was captured, Hinata attached small web-lines to the struggling human using small spinnerets on her wrists. Using instinct to guide her once more, the hanyou used all four arms to spin her prey around, completely encasing it in webbing within seconds.

Giggling to herself, Hinata cut a slit in the webbing just under Kiriko's nose to make sure she could breathe in the cocoon. The half-onigumo then tucked her prize under her upper right arm and set off down the corridor in search of a place to drop Kiriko off before beginning the next hunt.

It occurred to her that the other girls would get her back for what she was doing, but she found herself not caring. Hinata now saw the appeal of pranks and decided that it was worth any inevitable retaliation.

(Trauma Center Room)

Zabuza sat quietly in a chair next to Naruto, just as he had for the past hour and fifty minutes. He had long since tuned out the rhythmic hissing of the iron lung and had taken to staring at his zanbatō. He had already sharpened it to a razor's edge, so his usual habit wasn't applicable. Instead, he began to reminisce about the years since he'd gotten the massive blade, and the thing's he'd done with it in that time.

Within Kirigakure no Sato, his reputation had been established before he was even an official shinobi. But as far as the rest of the world was concerned, the Kubikiribōchō was his trademark. Some would say the weapon was more infamous than the man who wielded it. One of them was Zabuza himself.

Most times, wielding it was just so easy, it felt as if the sword was doing all the work by itself, and he was just along for the ride. Of course, that wasn't what was actually happening.

"This sword has done a lot of things." Zabuza said, studying the astonishingly flawless surface of the blade. "It's taken one-thousand, four-hundred and seventy-two lives, and it's saved quite a few as well. It's ended conflicts before they even began, and it's started revolutions. It's tasted the blood of people from every rank and walk of life; from the lowest bandit, to the Sandaime Mizukage." of course, it hadn't killed the Mizukage, bit it had bitten quite deeply into the man's back, just barely missing his spine. "Even so, it could barely even scratch you." Zabuza turned his attention to Naruto.

He also hadn't been able to intimidate the boy in the least. Even when he was sure he'd gotten the drop on the Genin squad, Naruto has basically laughed in his face. When Zabuza had thrown his sword, Naruto didn't even turn around and made only the slightest movement to dodge it. The Hidden Mist/Kaze no Sasayaku(9) combination, which had literally made victims soil themselves in the past, had also been utterly ineffective. Naruto had engaged him alone without hesitation, completely disregarding his superior officer and even going as far as to threaten THE Sharingan no Kakashi with death should he try to step in.

Naruto never showed even an ounce of fear or trepidation. He was never unsure of himself or his abilities. He came at you with a mix of wild ferocity, lethal precision, monstrous strength and blinding speed that was downright terrifying. Combine that with his seemingly limitless stamina and chakra reserves, and you had a real force to be reckoned with.

"But you're still mortal; still just a kid." Zabuza said. "Just like the Kubikiribōchō is just a sword. It's been through more battles than I can remember, and it's been cracked, dented, chipped and even cleaved in two during some of those battles. Yet here it is, in perfect condition. Most people think it's indestructible, that it will just regenerate from anything that's done to it. In fact, it can repair itself using the iron in the blood of those it cuts. It's incredibly durable, but it's not indestructible. The stories and myths surrounding it have made it out to be something it's really not. Remarkably similar to you, kid. Even I found myself thinking that you just couldn't be beaten, let alone killed...Yet here you are, beaten and three-quarters dead."

In his lifetime, Zabuza had seen a lot of things. He'd witnessed countless battles, and had participated in more than a few of them. He didn't always come out on top. And while those loses still got under his skin, he accepted them because of a single infallible truth: there's always someone better. Now matter how strong you were, or how fast, tough, smart or skilled; somewhere in the world, there was someone, or something, that could easily put you in your place.

Naruto's air of "invincibility" had caused the former Mist-nin to forget that universal law. But, just like good ol' Murphy, it was quick to remind him and everyone else of its existence. Something had put Naruto in his place, and it had everyone second-guessing their own abilities.

"Oh well." Zabuza sighed. "You may have lost, but you still survived, and what's all that matters. You can only get stronger from here." he then stood up from the chair and stretched, several audible pops and cracks coming from his spine and joints. By his time, it had now been a full two hours, meaning that his shift was up. "I think that spandex guy is up next." Zabuza shuddered slightly. How did that guy even know Naruto?

As expected, there was a knock at the door and a call of, "Momochi-san, it's Gai, I'm here to relieve you!"

Even with the bandages wrapped around the lower half of his face, Zabuza's frown was easily seen. 'How could he be so excited?' he thought as he placed his zanbatō back in its strap and walked to the door.

Hand on the door handle, Zabuza steeled himself for what he knew he was going to see. He doubted he'd ever get used to seeing a grown man in a green, skintight bodysuit. Actually, he _hoped_ he never got used to it.

"Ah, Momochi-san, any good news?" Gai asked as Zabuza opened the door.

"No changes, for the better or worse." the swordsman answered. "Still looks like he was put through a meat grinder, but that demon of his is patching him up, slowly but surely."

"Huh...Well, I don't really know why I was hoping for something better...I guess I'm still holding out for some miraculous recovery, you know?" Gai said, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly.

"Mm." Zabuza grunted in understanding. "Looks like we're gonna be here for a while. See you around, I'm gonna go get something to eat." and with that, Konoha's newest Jōnin walked passed Gai and walked off down the corridor.

"Yeah...see you around." Gai mumbled as he quickly entered the room and closed the door behind him.

As soon as the door locked itself, the man's entire body language changed. His muscles tensed, his posture straightened and he actually began to sweat a little. His eyes darted all around and his breath quickened. Fear, an emotion that had been foreign to the man for some time, gripped his heart and settled into the pit of his stomach like chunk of solid ice. He had every reason to be afraid, for this man was not Maito Gai.

Dropping his Henge, Kakashi took step after agonizingly slow step, until he was standing next to the device that hid Naruto's broken and torn form from view. While his fellow Leaf ninjas refused to speak to him, he'd "overheard" a couple of doctors talking about what they had seen. Apparently, what the seemingly indomitable Jinchuuriki had suffered was gruesome on a level that even experienced medics had been hard-pressed not to turn away from. Even more remarkable was the supposed reason for his extensive injuries; helping Kumo's Jinchuuriki, Yugito Nii, fend off two members of Akatsuki.

Kakashi's first reaction had been a quiet snort. Naruto risking his own life to help anyone was a laughable notion as far as the Sharingan-wielder was concerned. Even moreso if that person was a kunoichi from a rival village that he'd just met two days prior. Naruto wasn't one to help out if there was nothing in it for him. The only reason he'd resolved to complete the mission in Nami no Kuni was so he could find...something.

He was a monster that got off on the suffering of others. And just when Kakashi thought the masked "Genin" had a bit of humanity left in him, he'd turn around and show his true colors once again, often through some needlessly violent act.

Kakashi was just about ready to write what he'd heard off as nothing more than exaggerated gossip, when he saw Yugito walking through the halls of the hospital. To say the sight had shaken him would be a gross understatement. The girl had been walking around like a zombie, covered head to toe in blood, with a disturbingly blank expression commonly known as the "Thousand Yard Stare". And as if her bloodshot eyes weren't enough indication, her tears had formed twin clean streaks in the blood on her face, going from her eyes, down to her chin.

It reminded Kakashi of something he'd seen during the last war. Something that, to this day, caused him a number of sleepless nights second only to Obito's death.

He and his team had come across a small village just East of Kusagakure that had, apparently, been in the path of Iwagakure's forces. By the time they'd gotten to it, every building had been burned to the ground, and the overpowering stench told them that the inhabitants of the settlement had suffered a similar fate. They'd been seconds from moving on when Kakashi spotted movement near what he supposed had been the center of the village.

It had been a civilian woman, maybe early thirties, stumbling around in a manner identical to Yugito, covered in blood and ash. Her yukata was torn to the point of being little more than rags, barely clinging to her body. When she didn't respond to his calls, Kakashi had, against his better judgment, reached out to grab her arm. She'd stopped and slowly turned to face him. In a single instant of eye contact, the woman caught Kakashi in something worse than any Genjutsu he'd ever experienced, before or since. It was like she had projected her feelings of hopelessness and sorrow onto him, and at that moment he'd wanted nothing more than to curl into a ball and die.

For a moment, he went numb, his body frozen like a statue. He didn't even register the woman's hand reaching into the kunai holster on his right thigh until it was too late. He couldn't get out even a single word before the woman plunged the blade into the right side of her own neck and dragged it across all the way to the left. She cut so deeply, that Kakashi swore he saw a bit of vertebrae through the gaping wound.

As her body flopped bonelessly to the ground, Kakashi just stood there and stared, his expression just as blank and lifeless as the soon-to-be corpse at his feet. After what felt like an eternity, he had slowly turned and walked back to where he'd left Obito and Rin. As if a curse had been passed on, Kakashi was now the one shambling across the ruins of the village, eyes fixed dead ahead. He'd ended up walking right passed his friends, neither hearing their confused and horrified cries, nor feeling their hands pulling on his clothes and arms as they tried to make him stop. It took Rin slapping him across the face to get him to snap out of it, at which time he noticed that his face, neck and chest were drenched in blood. He didn't even remember where it came from until he went to sleep later that night after the team had made it back to base camp.

Some thirteen years later, he still woke up screaming "No, wait!" at least twice a week. That number would likely increase now that seeing Yugito in such a sorry state had undone what little progress he'd made in forgetting that night.

At that moment, he vowed to find out exactly what had happened, angry colleagues be damned.

Which leads us to the present, with a man famous for his fearlessness and unflinching resolve actually trembling next to his, apparently, near-dead "student". Like the other negative pressure ventilators Kakashi had seen, this one also had a thick glass viewing window that was covered by a sliding metal door. Currently, that door was closed, and the man was trying to work up the courage to grab the handle and lift it open. He knew he wouldn't like what he saw, but he had to be sure. Of what, he honestly couldn't say. But he had to know, all the same.

So, with a shuddering sigh, Kakashi took hold of the handle and quickly lifted the door.

"...Oh, Kami in heaven..." for the first time in years, Kakashi felt bile rising up from his stomach not as a result of a hangover or food poisoning, but from sheer disgust.

It had been a while since he'd seen anything like that. Up close, anyway. It wasn't like he had inspected any of the mangled carcasses Naruto had left behind in Wave Country.

"Shit...Shit, shit, shit!" Kakashi hissed to himself in a rare moment of unfocused rage. He didn't want to believe it, but this time his mind wouldn't let him twist and bend the truth to create his own version of reality; one where he wasn't the bad guy.

Naruto didn't have many friends, but the ones he did have respected him and were fiercely loyal. He'd witnessed that firsthand. Now that should've told him something, but he chose to reject their reality and substitute his own(10). They had to be under the demon's influence, right? Some kind of Kitsune-exclusive Super Genjutsu, or something. But this couldn't be explained away so easily. The proof was right here, staring him in the face, and there was no denying it anymore.

In an act that was the embodiment of the phrase Obito coined and Kakashi made famous, Naruto had taken the "Ninja Rulebook", burned it and pissed on the ashes. Instead of taking the "smart" route and not getting involved, Naruto had stood shoulder to shoulder with a girl he barely knew and took on two S-Class criminals. All because she was a fellow Jinchuuriki(11); a comrade even though she was a kunoichi from a village that had been one of Konoha's main enemies ever since its founding.

It was a stupid decision no matter how you sliced it. And one Kakashi himself likely would have made once upon a time. Back when he never made excuses for himself. Back when he always tried to do the right thing, as a human being if not as a shinobi. Back when he didn't let fears, insecurities and misplaced anger rule his life.

"It's all my fault." Kakashi whispered, using the "iron lung" to steady himself as another wave of nausea washed over him, this one also brought about by sheer disgust. Disgust for what he had become; what he _allowed_ himself to become. "I should've watched over you...I should've stepped in and killed every single one of them...I could have adopted you, taught you..." Kakashi tried his damnedest to stop the tears, but this was long overdue, and it seemed as thought even his body knew it. "But instead I let you be turned into...this."

True, Naruto wasn't as bad as Kakashi had previously thought, but he still shuddered to think of what his deceased sensei would have to say about him letting the man's son be tortured into becoming a murderous sociopath. By the people he sacrificed his life to protect, no less.

Kakashi wanted to say something, even thought Naruto couldn't possibly hear him. But what could he say? "I'm sorry I left you to die, please forgive me"?

_"If you don't know what to say," _came a familiar voice, _"don't say anything at all, Hatake-'sensei." _it was Naruto's voice, and yet...it wasn't.

"N-Naruto...Y-You're awake..." Kakashi stumbled back, nearly tripping over his own feet.

_"There's no need for words, Hatake-san, especially from you."_ Naruto's heavily bandaged head turned towards Kakashi, as if he could actually see the silver-haired man.

"B-But how...?"

_"We all know that's all they are, Hatake; just words." _there was something else behind the voice, like someone else speaking at the same time, but further away.

"I-"

_"You wouldn't know conviction if it came up and rammed a Raikari through your heart, Kakashi."_ the bandages around Naruto's head began to smolder as a steadily darkening black spot appeared over his left eye. In a matter of seconds the bandages burst into flames.

"Oh, God..."

As the fire died, a face that Kakashi hadn't seen in thirteen years, yet had seen in the majority of his nightmares, was revealed. It was half crushed, but there was no mistaking it. The spiky "afro" of black hair, the toothy grin, and the empty eye socket that seemed to stare into Kakashi's very soul.

"Obito..." Kakashi wheezed, suddenly finding it difficult to breathe.

_"It's time to wake up, Kakashi-teme!"_ and suddenly the entire room was engulfed in a blinding red light that seemed to emanate from the void that used to house Obito's right eye.

Kakashi awoke with a violent start, frantically looking around for any sign of Obito. Instead, he found that he was in a hospital hallway, sitting in a chair outside of a room. He eventually spotted Gai sitting in a chair on the opposite side of the hall, staring at him with a deep frown.

"W-What...?"

"That was the dumbest thing I've seen you do in a while, Kakashi." Gai said, looking for all the world like an angry parent lecturing a child.

"So, you..."

"Yeah, I found you in Naruto's room, throwing some kind of tantrum. I knocked you out and brought you up here before you could cause any damage."

"Knocked me out?"

"You're damn lucky I was the one who walked in, otherwise you wouldn't have gotten off so easy."

Still shell-shocked from what he'd experienced, Kakashi didn't even register the fact that Maito Gai had just swore.

"It was a dream..." Kakashi sighed and sank back into the chair.

"Are you alright?"

"...Not at all." upon dropping his head into his hands, Kakashi found that his mask was wet. "I was crying."

"Mm-hm." Gai nodded in confirmation.

"Heh, bet you never thought you'd see me like this, eh?" Kakashi chuckled humorlessly. "So much for my 'hip attitude'."

"Eagle's out for blood, you know. It took Momochi-san, Jackal and Deer to hold him back while I took you up here. He took over my shift, so you've got about two hours to find a suitable hiding place. Less if Anko gets word of this."

"I figured as much. But I had to be sure."

"Of what?"

"...That I was wrong."

"Hm...So, what are you going to do now?"

"Not a clue, but I'll figure something out."

"You always do, my eternal rival." Gai said with a small smirk.

Kakashi stood up and shoved his hands into his pockets, eye widening slightly when he felt something metallic in the right one. Remembering his last encounter with his former subordinate, Mitara, Kakashi knew exactly what it was.

"...You said Mitara and Anko would be after my head, right?"

"Among other things, I'm sure."

"Tell them I'll be at the hotel...I've done enough hiding for one lifetime."

(Konohagakure no Sato - Secret Tunnels)

'Dear Kami, do I need a shower.' Hinata thought. With her greatly enhanced senses, the smell of pickles was really starting to get to her. And it didn't help that pickles were one of the few things she could say she truly loathed.

The smell also made stalking her prey more difficult. While it didn't give her away by itself, it did cause them to look around in a attempt to discover the source of the stench. Fortunately, they never looked up.

'I'll have to talk to them about that.' actually, she'd do a lot more than just talk. If she had to get that lesson beaten into her, then so would they!

"What the hell, Hinata?" the voice of Hinata's latest "victim", Haku, screamed.

_"...How are you talking right now?" _Hinata asked, scratching her head in confusion. Like Kiriko and Chigusa, Haku was currently wrapped head to toe in a tight cocoon of incredibly strong silk, and stuck to a wall. Said cocoon only had a slit in it under her nose so she could breath, but there was no way she should've been able to talk. Well, unless she was a ventriloquist and didn't need to move her lips in order to speak.

"Kaze no Sasayaku, a voice projection technique. Your turn." Haku replied, sounding distinctly unamused.

_"I was bored." _Hinata answered with a shrug.

"YOU WERE..." Haku paused in mid-outraged-shriek. When she thought about it, boredom made a lot of people do a lot of dumb and/or ridiculous things. So "Because I was bored" was as valid an excuse as anything else, really.

_"Say, can you teach me that 'Kaze no Sasayaku'?"_

"...If you get me out of this thing, sure."

_"Deal. Hold still." _once again handing her body over to pure instinct, Hinata created an incision in the cocoon, going from Haku's forehead to her feet, in a single lightning-quick motion.

Now subject to the force of gravity once again, Haku just barely managing to keep herself from faceplanting on the stone floor. As she stood up, she noticed that Hinata was openly laughing at her.

"And just what is so fu..." Haku trailed off as she noticed it was rather drafty...wherever Hinata had taken her and the others. Looking down, the frown on her face deepened.

Though Hinata had managed to not split Haku in two, the same couldn't be said for the light blue sweater the girl had been wearing as part of her civilian outfit.

_"Sorry."_ Hinata giggled.

"I'll bet..." Haku really liked that sweater. It was a delightfully comfortable bit of clothing. Expensive, too, being made out of a hundred percent pure cashmere. "You're lucky I'm in the habit of carrying an extra outfit." she grumbled as she fished a small sealing scroll out of back-left pocket of her jeans.

_"So, about that technique..."_

"Do you mind? I'm trying to get dressed here!"

Hinata huffed in annoyance, but didn't push the subject, since it was her fault the girl had to re-dress in the first place.

"So, are you gonna get them down, too?" Haku asked, nodding towards the two cocoons that housed the Orasu Sisters, who'd been oddly quiet for a while now.

_"Well, since there's not much more I can do with them stuck there, I guess so." _

"...Wait, so they get off free, while I had to bargain with you? How is that fair?"

_"Hm, I suppose it's not." _Hinata then walked over and cut slits into the cocoons over the sisters' mouths. _"So, do either of you have anything to...bargain...with..." _with their mouths uncovered, the two girls' snoring was easy to hear.

"So that's why they've been so quiet." Haku remarked as she sorted through the twelve sweaters she had sealed into the scroll. It wasn't often that she got to shop while someone else was footing the bill.

_"Aww, they both look so peaceful..." _Hinata let out a loud, shrieking hiss that nearly gave every non-hanyou in the area a heart attack.

"Kiriko broke the vase, I swear!" Chigusa screamed as she awakened.

"It was you! You ratted me out to mom!" Kiriko roared. She'd been denied dessert for two weeks because of that!

_"Ahem."_ Hinata cleared her throat. _"Sorry to interrupt your naps, but I've got a...business proposition for the two of you."_

"Hm? Hinata? Hey, what is this?" Kiriko started to struggle against her bonds, but found that there was very little give in whatever had her trapped.

"Kinda cozy." Chigusa mewed happily. She liked to wrap her bed sheets or bedroll around her when she slept, so she was quite comfortable at the moment.

_"Don't bother. You aren't getting out of there without my help, and it'll cost you."_

"Ooh, I'm going to kick your spidery ass when I get out of this thing!" Kiriko's struggling intensified, but it was still no use.

_"Not much of a bargain. How about you, Chigusa?" _Hinata sweatdropped when she heard more snores coming from Chigusa's cocoon. _"Huh...Oh well, guess I'll leave you two to...hang out." _

"Ugh..." Haku groaned at the horrible pun, receiving a glare from the hanyou.

_"You're not done yet?" _

"What? I've narrowed it down to four." Haku replied. "And don't even start; this is YOUR fault anyway!"

Once again, Hinata conceded the point and left it alone.

"Wait, wait!" Kiriko called, paling at the thought of being stuck...wherever she was any longer. "What do you want?"

_"Well, Haku-_chan_ was kind enough to offer a new technique, so let's go with that."_

"Um...How about the Closed Circuit?" Kiriko suggested.

_"What's it do?"_

"It lets you give people a pretty nasty shock just by touching them."

It didn't take Hinata long to realize both the combat and pranking potential of the technique.

_"Deal!"_ and with that, Hinata freed the youngest Orasu Sister in the same manner as Haku. In the _exact_ same manner as Haku...

"My shirt!" Kiriko groaned. It was a fairly plain t-shirt, light green with Konoha's spiral leaf symbol on the front, but she still liked it a lot.

_"Whoops." _Hinata snickered.

Fortunately, Kiriko also kept an extra set of clothes on-hand at all times. Unfortunately, one of Naruto's clones chose that exact moment to enter the empty room that Hinata had taken the other girls to.

"Do you enjoy making my job more difficult than it should be?" the clone said, agitation obvious in its tone.

Haku and Kiriko let out loud "eeps" and immediately turned their backs on the clone so it wouldn't get a free show.

_"I was bored." _Hinata shrugged.

The clone just grunted in response, then snapped its fingers, prompting five more clones to enter the room, carrying what looked like a coffin. As the clones set it down on the floor in front of Hinata, she could see that there were five large, cylindrical devices inside of it, each connected to the others by several thick wires.

"These are chakra batteries, just like the ones we clones use to recharge ourselves when our energy runs low." the first clone said, answering the unasked question. "As you can tell, they're empty at the moment."

_"Okay...What are they for, then?"_

"Well, at its core, being a hanyou simply means that your body is producing both chakra and youki in roughly equal amounts. If the body stops producing youki, the subject effectively becomes human. And if the body stops producing chakra, the subject becomes a full-on demon. That's what I believe has happened to you, Hinata. Once the demonic blood in you took hold, your body started pumping out a lot of youki in a very short period of time. It overwhelmed your human chakra and caused your body's production of it to 'shut down', so to speak. Now, your body is still producing youki, but at a much slower rate. My theory is that if we can drain enough of your youki all at once, your body will start to produce human chakra again, and you'll automatically revert back to your human form." the clone explained, then gestured to the chakra batteries.

"These batteries have been set to 'quick-charge' mode, and will siphon off your energy very rapidly, so be prepared for that. One wouldn't be able to hold enough energy, so I've rigged five of them together. This is also to spread out the load. It's not pretty, but it should do the job. They are able to withstand pure youki, but on the off-chance that one failed, we'd have quite a bomb on our hands, so better safe than sorry."

_"Great!" _Hinata chirped happily. She'd finally be able to take a shower!

"But," the clone held up a finger, causing Hinata to frown, "there is a bit of a catch. If this works the way it should, you'll have your human chakra back; but it'll take some time for the chakra and youki to work out the balance that makes a hanyou. While that's happening, the energies will fluctuate back and forth, rendering anything requiring any kind of control useless, or perhaps even dangerous. If you tried to, say, activate your Byakugan in that state, you could end up channeling pure youki into your eyes, which may very well cause them to explode inside your skull. Or fry up like eggs on a skillet."

The look on Hinata's face was _priceless_. Afterall, it wasn't everyday that you saw such a horrified gape on a creature that could make people piss themselves just by smiling at them.

"On the plus side, you could finally hop in a tub and get rid of that smell." the clone smirked behind his mask as it remembered dumping the jar of pickles on the hanyou's head. 'Okay, so maybe pranks aren't so pointless afterall.'(12)

Hinata growled at the clone, finally recognizing it as the "Lab Clone" that had tormented her during training.

_"I WILL get you back for that." _she hissed.

"That's nice. Now, if you would please place one of your hands on a battery. I still have work to do, you know."

Hinata growled lowly, but did as she was told, reaching into the coffin with her lower left hand and placing it on center battery in the line of five. For a second, nothing happened. But, right when she was about to ask if it was broken, she suddenly felt as if she had just finished a training session with Anko. Seconds later, there was a bright flash of light, and Hinata was...Hinata again.

"That'll do." the Lab Clone said as it took Hinata's hand off of the battery. "Don't want to drain too much."

Falling to her knees, Hinata took a moment to stare at her hands; her _two_ hands, no more, no less. With a small smile, the girl hugged herself. While the power of her new body was downright addicting, being in her own skin was something the Hyūga heiress would never take for granted again.

And speaking of skin...

"Eek!" Hinata's entire body turned a very interesting shade of red when she realized that she was completely naked. With six of Naruto's clones looking right at her.

Both Haku and Kiriko took a moment to relish what they saw as poetic justice, before the Hyōton user took pity on her and tossed over a pink sweater and a pair of dark blue jeans.

With a quick "Thank you", Hinata dressed herself as quickly as possible, though still right in front of the clones, as there was nowhere to hide in the featureless room. She completely missed Kiriko's devious grin.

"Say, Clone-san, you said Hinata-_chan_ wouldn't be able to use techniques, right?" the youngest Orasu asked.

"That's correct." the clone answered, knowing what the girl was getting at.

Haku and Kiriko shared a look, then turned their full attention to Hinata, who was still too wrapped up in her own embarrassment to notice the danger she was now in. But when the situation finally registered in her mind, Hinata's eyes widened and she slowly turned to see the two older females leering at her in a manner that could only be described as evil. She gulped and turned to Naruto's clone for help, only to find him, as well as the other five clones and the battery box, gone.

"Aauu..." Hinata moaned, then turned back to the two former Water Country residents, who seemed to be closer to her than they were before.

For the next five seconds, the girls had themselves something of a stand-off, with Haku and Kiriko still grinning maliciously, but not moving an inch. And then, Haku took a single step forward, prompting Hinata to make a run for it. Without the use of chakra, however, she didn't stand much of a chance. Haku and Kiriko knew this, and were in no rush to track their prey down.

And so, Chigusa was left in the room all alone. It would be another four hours before her sister remembered she was still stuck to the wall, and enlisted the help of a clone to locate and free her.

"Zzzzzz..."

Not that she minded.

XXXX

And we're done! Love it? Hate it? Think it still needed a little something? Let me know!

As I said before, I wasn't able to put in everything I wanted to, but I still think it worked out quite well. The Celestials have been revealed, the Uzumaki Bloodline has been explained, Kakashi is on the road to redemption, Hinata's back in her human form, and a bit more about Kyuubi's past has come to light. Not bad for what's most likely going to be the final update of 2011.

(1) That twenty-thousand year figure is based on the oldest known dragon myth.

(2) I originally included descriptions of the transformed states, but decided it just didn't fit, so I'll put 'em here instead. Crawlers look like actual salamanders, or crocodilians to be more accurate. They get there name from the fact that they tend to crawl around on their bellies most of the time. They may not be fast, but they make up for it with sheer brute strength and heavy natural armor.

Serpents look much like your classic Asian dragons, sans the goofy whiskers, chameleon eyes and the ability to fly without wings. Basically the exact opposite of the Crawlers, Serpents are gifted with blinding speed and incredible agility, but they're relatively weak physically.

Runners are based on theropod dinosaurs, though most of the inspiration for them comes from Zilla in the 1998 American Godzilla film. Say what you want about the movie itself(I'll likely agree with you), but Zilla's design is just plain awesome. Though I could do without the Jay Leno chin. Runners are right in between Crawlers and Serpents, striking a nice balance of speed, power and durability.

(3) Many have guessed it, but here's official confirmation: Noctis IS Minato! Well, a fragment of his soul, at least.

(4) Fallen: Celestials who had lost their wings, usually by disobeying orders from a superior.

(5) You'll notice that I never described the facial features of the Fallen, and there's a reason for that. As a sign of their shame, Fallen never reveal their faces. Of course, not all Fallen are ashamed of losing their wings, but those four were.

(6) 'Tis the opening theme for Guyver: The Bioboosted Armor(I think it's also known as "Guyver: 21st Century"). According to the series soundtrack, the song is called "Waiting For...", and is performed by Yō Reiri(might have that backwards). And if anyone's wondering why I skipped the actual singing: this is not a "songfic", and it never will be. If you want the lyrics, Google is your friend. As for why I chose this...Well, it remains my second favorite opening theme for an anime(the first being Darker Than Black's opening, "Howling"), and both the lyrics and style of the song fit quite well with Black Flames.

(7) Credit goes to Doctor Yami for that line.

(8) I've hinted at it before, but Naruto has far more allies within Konoha that anyone would guess. Hayate Gekkō is just the first of the "curveballs".

(9) Means "Whisper of the Wind"; a voice projection technique.

(10) Now everyone should know where that particular line comes from.

(11) Kakashi doesn't know about Naruto and Yugito's "Bonding Moments", so he thinks he helped her just because she's a fellow vessel.

(12) This is Naruto's "Lab Clone" and, as he said himself, he's not the "fun" clone; he's the clone that does his job.

I think that about covers it. Send me your questions and all that if you got 'em, you guys know the drill.

Happy Holidays, people!

Jason Out!


	40. Normal Is Overrated

First chapter of 2012! Nearly five months into 2012, but still...So, how y'all doin', folks?

First off, I'd like to thank you all for your patience. I wanted to update back in February, but a severe Idea Drought made this one slow going, and as I've told many people, I only write when I've got ideas. If I don't have any, I'm not going to try and force it. That just doesn't work. As the saying goes, you can't rush art, and I take this as seriously as any painter or musician takes his/her work. Forced ideas are usually mediocre ideas.

Fortunately, I was recently struck by a rush of inspiration and just flew through this thing. However, I forgot that, should the chapter be too large, I won't be able to update it. For some reason, the site won't allow me to upload any files above a certain kilobyte/word count. This truly sucks, since it means I can't update some of my older chapters when I find mistakes in them. It's frustrating as hell, and if anyone knows a way around it, speak up please, it would be much appreciated.

Anywho, I wanted this chapter to be huge, wrapping up the Kumo Arc, getting everyone back to Konoha and preparing for the Chūnin Exams, which would've started in the next chapter. But, since that would've been too large an upload, and it would've taken at least another month to write, so I was forced to settle for about half of what I wanted.

I'm not exactly happy about it, but hopefully you guys and gals still like it.

XXXX

Boredom can make people do some very strange things.

It can cause some to spontaneously break into song, and others to drop a bowling ball onto a sofa to see how high it will bounce(1). It could make a man start a fight for no reason whatsoever, or build a structure taller than himself out of nothing but playing cards.

Things like this happened because the mind tended to wander when there was no task to keep it focused, or anything to keep it otherwise occupied. And when their minds wandered, people were liable to do things they'd never think of under normal circumstances. Fortunately, things such as the laws of physics, the surrounding environment and elements in said environment limited what an exceedingly bored person could do.

But what happened when there was no limit to what could be done? Just how insane could things get when the imagination _was_ reality?

The answer: very. But that raises another question: what qualified as "very insane" for a person like Naruto Namikaze?

How about "Super Shark-Bait Volley-Pong"? What is Super Shark-Bait Volley-Pong? Well, it started as just a game of regular ping-pong between Naruto and a "mind clone". But they quickly found that, no matter how hard they tried, they couldn't keep the game on the table. So, they got rid of it and the game became "Extreme Pong", with Naruto and his clone bouncing off of every surface and smacking the ball as hard as they could.

But, somewhere along the line, it was decided that the paddles were too small, and the ball was too light. So, the paddles then became horse-sized, metallic spatula-looking things, and the ball, while kept the same size, weighed in at about five-hundred pounds. With the unwieldy, laughably impractical paddles and a ball that could hit like a freight train, the fun-factor went up tenfold.

How could it get any better? Add more players! Three-hundred more, to be precise, with a hundred and fifty on each side. But, with so many players, just one little white ball wasn't enough. So, the number was upped to twenty-five, and the sizes increased to fifteen-inch diameters and weights of half a ton. Needless to say, teamwork was encouraged if you really wanted to launch one of those suckers.

But eventually, even these improvements weren't enough. There was already an invisible barrier set up that prevented players from crossing sides, but there was one area where sides didn't really matter. It was the "Power-up Zone". As the name suggested, this was an area where video game-style power-ups were spawned at random intervals for any players not concentrating on the spheres to fight over. Amongst the abilities granted were Super Strength, Enhanced Reflexes/Speed, decoy "Phantom" balls, Fireballs, Spikeballs, Impact Bombs, Gas Bombs and several others. That added some much-needed variety and even a bit of strategy to the game.

However, there was still something missing. In an attempt to find it, Naruto took out the floor and turned the entire "arena" into an endless ocean. But there was really no point in doing that unless there was something _in_ the water. So, the waters became infested with man-eating sharks, huge eels, giant squid, swarms of barracuda and other things that had yet to show themselves. A "Blood Bomb" power-up was even added to incite feeding frenzies. Once this happened, the oversized paddles became weapons more than anything; used to fend off hungry beasts as well as smash rival players in the Power-up Zone.

With the addition of "environmental hazards", the game became an elimination-style competition where the only rule was to play until you couldn't play any longer. This meant that you were still in the game as long as you had your head and at least one limb still attached. Anything else, and you just had to suck it up and keep going.

And that is the story of how a simple game of ping-pong was turned into something that violated just about every law of nature.

But even something as ridiculous as this can be made even more confusing. How? Well, one surefire way is to add a disembodied voice to the mix.

_"Naruto-sama..."_

"Hm?" Naruto looked around for the source of the voice, but found nothing but his mind clones either trying to keep some two-dozen spherical missiles from hitting the water, or trying to keep the sharks from eating their legs.

Naruto's distraction was nearly his undoing as he was suddenly taken off of his feet when one of the half-ton projectiles crashed into his chest. The force of the impact sent him flying a good hundred yards, where he finally fell and continued to skid across the water's surface for another hundred feet. As he rolled backwards to his feet, he kicked the ball up into the air, relying on his teammates to take care of the rest.

"The ball didn't hit the water, so it doesn't count." Naruto wheezed, starting to have second thoughts about his idea to incorporate quasi-realistic physics AND physical damage into the game. At the time, he'd thought it was brilliant. If you got injured, it was usually your own fault, and you either played through it or let your teammates cover for you while you healed up.

But he had never taken into account being injured because you were distracted by hallucinations.

_"Naruto-sama, can you hear me?"_

"Okay, what the he-...Wait a minute," Naruto paused as he recognized the voice. "Clementia?"

_"Ah, I finally got through. Forgive me if I'm being rude, but getting into your head was a lot easier when you were awake." _Clementia said, her tone carrying just the slightest hint of exasperation.

"Really?" Naruto rubbed his chin. Perhaps this was a natural response to Shizaru's infiltration? Or maybe it was something done by Shizaru himself, in order to prevent any outside interference. "I'll look into it later. Do you have something to report?"

_"Yes, Naruto-sama. It appears as though the man with the bear mask is working for the council of this city, something he has kept secret from even his own subordinates. I have been unable to determine why, but it's certainly not by his own free will."_

"Are you positive?"

_"Yes. When he speaks to them, they do nothing but insult and mock him. And though he doesn't show it, I can feel the hatred he has for himself and for them." _Clementia would have tried to read his mind, but she didn't want to risk alerting him. She was already working on a tight schedule in the first place, and having her target know something was up would only make things more difficult.

"Excellent." Naruto smirked. If that was the case, their was a chance that the ANBU could be swayed back to the Raikage's side. But first, they'd have to find out just how the council had swayed him to theirs. "What about the council themselves? What are they like?"

_"Beyond the fact that there's twelve of them, and they're all skilled warriors, I can't say." _Clementia replied. _"They use what you call a 'Genjutsu' to hide themselves. If I were to step into it, I have no doubt that they would be able to tell."_

"Damn." Naruto scowled.

_"But I was able to get something that is sure to interest you."_

"Oh?"

_"It would seem that the council is trying to start a war. They plan on attacking your group when you leave."_

"...But that's suicide." then again, it wouldn't matter. Even though the assassination attempt was sure to fail, it would still be seen as an open act of aggression, and the ultimate betrayal on Kumogakure's part. Trying to kill the Hokage fresh off of successful negotiations.

Unless it could be proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that the would-be assassins weren't acting on the Raikage's orders, all of Konoha would be howling for retaliation. And Sarutobi would have his work cut out for him in stopping Konoha's own council once they had the majority of the village behind them.

_"If I may, Naruto-sama, I'd like to offer a suggestion."_

"Go ahead."

_"I believe there is a way to swing these events in your favor, hopefully with minimal risk to yourself, your comrades and improved relations between your village and this one."_

"I'm listening."

(Raikage's Tower - Room 319)

"God, I need a drink." Kakashi groaned as he entered the room he shared with Gai.

As if they had minds of their own, Kakashi's legs carried him into the bedroom he had claimed for himself. In a trance-like state, Kakashi immediately went for the mini-fridge next to the nightstand and opened the door. It was well-stocked with a surprisingly varied selection of liquor in small bottles. From relatively mild sake, to hard vodka, Kakashi had everything he could want. Of course, just one bottle of any one thing wouldn't do much of anything to a man like him. But he had upwards of thirty bottles to help himself to, so it was all good.

Had he been thinking properly, Kakashi would've wondered if all the rooms had "stashes" like his. And if so, just what kinds of people were these rooms meant for?

But he wasn't thinking properly. He had gone through seven bottles before he finally snapped out of his weird stupor. He looked at the whiskey in his right hand as if it was some kind of foreign object, then sat it down on the nightstand and started to laugh hysterically.

"Oh...Oh, Kami above, this is...This is just too much!" Kakashi cackled. It was all he could do to keep from crying, but the renewed feeling of wetness on his mask told him that it wasn't working.

How sad was this? Was he really so screwed up that he went for the booze on _instinct_ whenever he was faced with a real problem?

"'No, I'm not an alcoholic. I only drink with my friends and on special occasions!'" Kakashi said disdainfully, mocking what he had told people when they suggested he take it easy in bars. "Tch, I've said it so much, I actually started to believe it myself." he wanted to throw the half-empty bottle across the room, then wreck the rest of the stash. But no matter how angry and depressed he was, he was still representing Konohagakure in a foreign land.

Now was neither the time nor the place for tantrums.

Once again in his right mind, for the most part anyway, Kakashi couldn't help but wonder how much time had passed. And how much time he had left before Anko and/or Mitara kicked down the door and took their respective pounds of flesh.

"Hmm...I suppose Anko will castrate me, and Mitara...Yeah, he'll go right for m..._Obito's eye_." Kakashi muttered to himself. Oddly enough, neither thought, or the accompanying images, made him particularly uncomfortable. And that in itself brought a small smile to the silver-haired man's face.

For the first time in a long while, his mind hadn't automatically come up with some kind of excuse; some way to spin the situation so he wouldn't be at fault. So he wouldn't have to face the consequences. It was one thing to admit that you were in the wrong. But to also admit that you deserved whatever you were going to get was something else entirely.

A psychiatrist would say it was "a breakthrough". But anyone who actually knew Kakashi would say it was "about damn time".

"They're here." Kakashi mumbled to himself as he felt two familiar chakra signatures enter the room outside. Within seconds, they were standing outside of his bedroom door.

Much to his surprise, instead of the door being blown off its hinges, it slowly swung open to reveal two people whom the Copy-Nin was NOT looking forward to speaking with.

"Huh, I can honestly say that you've surprised me, Hatake." Mitara said, his voice smooth and measured, betraying nothing. "I expected you to run and hide."

"Had this been any other day, I would have." Kakashi admitted. "And I didn't expect you to wait for Eagle-taicho, Mitarashi-san."

If either Anko or Mitara were taken aback by Kakashi's politeness and formality, they didn't show it.

"He's here to make sure I don't maim, cripple and/or kill you." Anko said, her voice also conveying nothing. But her body language was an entirely different story. Her arms were crossed over her chest, and it appeared as though she was struggling to keep them there.

'Wow...She has to go so far as to physically restrain herself to keep from attacking me.' Kakashi thought.

"But it seems as though you've enjoyed your reprieve." Mitara remarked, then kicked one of the small bottles near his feet straight towards Kakashi.

Lazily tilting his head to the side, the Jōnin avoided the object, but not the shower of glass as it shattered on the wall behind him.

"Hardly." Kakashi snorted. "Believe it or not, I actually feel worse."

"Why were you in there with Naruto?" Anko demanded, deciding not to waste time with threats she knew she wouldn't be able to deliver on while they were still on the job.

"I had to be sure." Kakashi said, as if it were the most self-evident thing in the world.

"Be sure of _what_?" Anko's eyes narrowed.

"That I was wrong. About Naruto, about some of the choices in my life...And about what I thought the future should hold." Kakashi clarified, staring off into space with his lone uncovered eye.

Mitara saw the look in his eye, and the blank, listless expression on his face. This wasn't your typical "Thousand Yard Stare"; this was the look of a man who'd just had his entire outlook on life turned upside down. A man who'd been granted some stunning revelation that challenged, or outright destroyed everything he thought he knew. And he was still conflicted on where to go from there and how to deal with it.

"And did you find what you wanted to find?" Mitara asked.

"Not what I wanted...But what I needed." Kakashi blinked slowly, eye firmly locked onto a random spot on the wall next to the bedroom door. "I wanted to be right...I wanted to go about my life like have for years, waking up every morning and believing I was prepared for any and everything. An answer to every question, a solution to every problem. I wanted to leave that room with my head held high, knowing that I was right, and you were all wrong." the cyclopean Jōnin let out a half-scoff/half-chuckle. "I just wanted to go on thinking that, if not a demon, Naruto was at the very least a sociopath with little in regards to a conscience...And I wanted to go on denying any responsibility for having turned him into such."

"Responsibility?" Anko rose an eyebrow. "Naruto was already like that well before he was ever assigned to be your 'student'."

That caught Kakashi's attention, and he turned his eye to Mitara, who shifted his weight from foot to foot almost unnoticeably.

"You never told her." the silver-haired man stated.

"Something you've made me regret more than ever as of late." the ANBU Captain all but growled.

"What are you talking about? Never told me what?" now Anko was just plain confused, and feeling like she was being left out of the loop wasn't helping her foul mood at all.

"Now's not really an ideal time, but...Will you, or should I?" Mitara looked to Kakashi.

"No, no...If I'm going to take responsibility for this, I'll be damned if I half-ass it. She deserves to hear it from the horse's mouth." Kakashi then looked to Anko, who looked like she really didn't want to speak to him, but was desperately curious at the same time. "I take it you're well aware of the incident that took place on the night of October tenth six years ago, right?" receiving a nodded, Kakashi continued. "Well, I was there when it happened. I saw it, I _heard_ it...and I did nothing to stop it. Even when they set him on fire, I just stood there and watched."

"You...You mean you could've..." Anko found it incredibly difficult to speak as a kind of raw, primal rage bubbled up from within her.

"Yes, I could've stepped in, I could've called for help...I could have saved him, but I didn't. Every fiber of my being was screaming at me to do something, anything, to help. But I didn't, and the rest is history." Kakashi leaned forward in his chair and rubbed his face tiredly. "Well, not _every_ fiber. While I was standing on that rooftop, looking down on the people as they tied Naruto to that pole...There was one part, a little voice in the back of my head, telling me that he deserved what was happening. That _IT_ deserved to be punished. I'm not ashamed to admit that it scared me. I never wanted to hear that voice again, and to that end I resigned from my position as ANBU Captain and avoided Naruto like the plague all the way up to the day we were both assigned to Team Seven."

As he finished his tale, Kakashi gauged the reactions of his audience. Though he couldn't see Mitara's face, it didn't take much to imagine the disgusted scowl he was surely wearing under the mask. As for Anko...Just looking at her caused the hairs to raise up on the back of Kakashi's neck. She was staring at him with eyes that somehow managed to appear dull and lifeless, yet convey such a profound fury that it actually made the man fear for his life. If he hadn't already been sitting down, he knew his legs would have given out just from the look alone. But, instead of lunging and ripping him apart in a manner akin to a beast from her personal "playground", the Forest of Death, the purple-haired woman simply turned around and walked out of the room.

"..." Mitara just stood there for a few seconds, staring at the door as if he was expecting Anko to change her mind and come back to eviscerate Kakashi. When she didn't, the Eagle-masked ANBU Captain let out an audible sigh of disappointed and turned back to the Copy-nin. He wanted to say something, but found that he had absolutely nothing to say to his former superior.

So, without so much as a derisive snort, Mitara turned on his heel and walked out of the bedroom. He had nothing to do, so figured he might as well tail Anko and keep her from killing anyone.

However, as he left the room, he discovered that Anko's chakra signature was gone. Vanished completely.

'Oh, you've got to be kidding me. Since when could she do that?' Mitara thought as he set off down the halls of the Raikage Tower. If Anko was still walking, he'd be able to find her before she left the building.

Fifteen minutes later, Mitara finally caught up with her, through a combination of sheer luck and a trail of shaken Kumo citizens, civilian and shinobi alike.

She was walking at a brisk pace, apparently heading for the hospital, and scaring the daylights out of everyone who crossed her path.

He wasn't sure if she knew she was being followed, as he wasn't making any real effort to hide his presence. But if she did, she just didn't care. Even so, Mitara made sure to keep some distance between them. Far enough away that he could react if she decided to turn on him, but close enough to step in if she turned on someone else.

Thankfully, neither event came to pass, allowing Mitara to think about what was going on. He had never known Anko to have this kind of self-control. She was obviously well beyond furious, yet she wasn't putting out even the slightest hint of killing intent. In fact, she was barely even giving off a chakra signature.

'Maybe...Maybe it's some kind of defense mechanism she's developed.' Mitara thought as he followed Anko into the hospital. 'Yes, I think that's it. She basically puts her body on auto-pilot and devotes most of her attention to reining in her chakra. Not only would that keep her mind off what's making her so angry, but it makes her a lot less harmful to the people around her.' if that was the case, then Anko really didn't have that much self-control, and had to compensate for it, lest she become a danger to herself and others if/when she was pushed over the edge.

Mitara couldn't help but wonder if it was something she had developed on her own, or something _He_ had taught her.

After Anko literally scared the crap out of a doctor who had tried to stop her from getting to the underground bunker of a room Naruto was recovering in, Mitara felt that it was safe to leave her to her own devices. In the meantime, he needed to find something to take his own mind off of thoughts of murdering Kakashi.

(Three Days Later)

It didn't take long for things finally go back to semi-normal after the "meeting" with Kakashi. Anko still couldn't stand to be in the same room as him, but she no longer looked like she wanted to flay him alive and wear his skin as a new coat whenever she saw him.

Mitara dealt with Kakashi's presence in his typical, professional manner, but he now seemed to go out of his way to not directly speak to his former superior. Kakashi appeared to realize this, and made it easy for him by not directly addressing the ANBU Captain, either.

Gai was really the only member of the group who really knew what was going on, but Inaro and Isaro had a good idea, and also avoided interaction with Kakashi. They still greeted him with at least a nod, if only out of respect for his abilities and accomplishments, but they never tried to strike up conversations.

Zabuza, however, was completely in the dark. He knew nothing about Kakashi, beyond the stories he'd heard and what was written in the various Bingo Books. He knew nothing about the man's past, or how the others factored into it. But, all the same, he didn't really care. Whatever beef they all had with him was their own business. Zabuza and Kakashi didn't even qualify as acquaintances of one another; they had barely said two words to each other ever since leaving Wave Country. That said, nothing changed between them. Brief nods when passing in halls, comfortable silences when in the same room.

But, Zabuza did notice that he and Kakashi seemed to meet up far more frequently than before. He doubted it was a coincidence, but he could hardly blame the man. Having been completely alienated the people Zabuza assumed had been his friends, the Copy-nin probably just wanted to be in the presence of someone who wouldn't either glare at him and leave the room, or blatantly ignore him. And, as long as Kakashi didn't try to make small talk or anything, Zabuza was fine with being used as a source of human contact, however minor.

But Kakashi did have two people that he could still consider friends. Apparently, no one had told the Hokage about what had happened, so he was still friendly and inviting when they spoke. The second person was Raibu Harigane, the Raikage's personal assistant/head bodyguard and devoted member of the Icha Icha Brotherhood.

Talking about his favorite reading material always managed to lift Kakashi's spirits some, but he wouldn't allow himself to forget about what was happening and why. When they talked about getting the rest of the Golden Books, Kakashi's heart just wasn't in it. Of course, Raibu could tell, but knew that it wasn't his business. They didn't know each other that well just yet, and if Kakashi had wanted him to know, he would have told him.

The last three days had also been quite uneventful for the Kages as well. Having finished their business talks some time ago, they had little to do but shoot the breeze. And that got real boring, real fast. It was to the point where they were hoping for one of Kumo's infamous storms to descend upon the village, if only to spice things up a bit. But, in a string of some of the oddest weather the Raikage could remember, the skies were nice and blue, with the only clouds being about as far from ominous as you could get.

Though most in the village saw it as a sure sign of disaster, the reasons for it were hardly sinister. Hinade had followed through on her promise and had made some progress in teaching Raikoku how to control her power. It was slow going, but the former phoenix was now at least able to rein her youki in to a degree, meaning she could fly around without affecting weather patterns too much. But Hinade did make it clear that, once she figured out exactly how to do it, Raikoku would have to whip up a storm or two every now and then. They were Kumogakure's trademark, and even acted as a "natural" deterrent to any would-be invaders.

While the days had been kind, if uneventful, to most, there was one person for whom the passage of time was taking a heavy toll.

With her demon gone more often than not, and with no friends of her own, Yugito found herself utterly alone. It was partially self-imposed, as she couldn't face Naruto's friends, even Zabuza. She still believed that the entire incident was her fault. To be fair, no one had really tried to comfort her and tell her otherwise. So, she had gone into a kind of exile, locking herself away inside her apartment. Now, this wouldn't have been so bad had she bothered to eat or sleep. But she didn't, and it was starting to show.

As for the person at the center of it all, Naruto didn't actually know exactly how much time had passed on the outside. All he knew was that he had become incredibly bored a long time ago, which was quite a feat considering where he was. He knew better than to bother Kyuubi, who was still a bit steamed, and Nightmare seemed to be actively avoiding him for whatever reason. Naruto still found it amazing that the demon could do such an effective job of hiding from him inside his own mind.

He tried to pass the time by thinking up things to do once he had fully recovered. Creating new Shadow Beast designs, building mental blueprints of what the new Namikaze compound would look like, that sort of thing. But it only made him resent his current predicament, and himself, even more.

So, he continued to languish in boredom, waiting for the moment he could finally wake up. Fortunately, he didn't have much longer to wait.

(Kumogakure - Level One Trauma Center)

Anko awoke with a start at the sound of broken glass. As any good ninja, she immediately leapt from her chair and brandished one of her elongated kunai as she scanned the room for intruders. However, she nearly dropped the weapon when her eyes landed on the iron lung. The _empty_ iron lung.

"Sorry about that, I didn't mean to wake you." a very familiar voice apologized from the "kitchen" area of the room. Turning around almost mechanically, Anko's eyes began to water as she saw Naruto standing in front of the microwave, wiping his hands free of what smelled like tea. "I haven't quite gotten used to the improvements made to my body."

Naruto had somewhat expected it, but he was still taken off of his feet when a tan and purple blur crashed into him. What really caught him off guard was the fact that Anko was _bawling_ her eyes out and mumbling things into his chest.

Anko didn't cry. Ever. And she certainly didn't...blubber like this.

'Was she really so distraught over my condition?' Naruto thought, awkwardly rubbing Anko's back while she held him in a deathgrip and continued to weep.

This went on for nearly twenty minutes, with not a word spoken between them. In that time, Naruto could think of little beyond how out of his depth he was at the moment. Normally, when he encountered crying individuals, he just walked away. But he couldn't walk away this time, not from her. That left him with no choice but to keep doing what he was doing.

Finally, Anko's sobs died down and she loosened her grip around his torso. She then lifted her head to look him in the eyes, not caring that she couldn't see them because of the mask.

"Naruto...I'm not going to ask you about what happened...I'm not going to make you promise that you'll never put me through that again...I'm not even going to rip into you for not telling me when you woke up...You're alive. You came back to m-...to _us_, and that's all that matters." Anko wiped her remaining tears off on her coat sleeve before standing up and holding a hand out to Naruto.

Naruto hesitated before grabbing the appendage as gently as he could. According to Kyuubi, the extensive repairs to his body had resulted in stronger and tougher muscles, bones, tendons, connective tissue, etc. This meant significantly enhanced physical strength and durability. And just like he had to retrain his chakra control after gaining a youki tail, he would need to work to regain the kind if precision and grace he had before.

He didn't want to risk Anko's hand ending up like the coffee mug he had tried to hold before, but at the same time he didn't want to risk offending Anko by implying that was fragile or "delicate". When she didn't grimace in pain, Naruto relaxed somewhat.

Anko did notice that Naruto was gripping her hand unnecessarily hard, but she remembered what he said about getting used to his "improvements". As she pulled him up, she noticed something else: Naruto was heavier than before. Not by much, but it was an obvious increase. As he stood to his full height, she also noticed that he was nearly two inches taller, too, putting him just above her own height of five-foot-eight.

"I guess I'll, uh...go tell everyone that you've recovered." Anko said, noticing that she was still holding Naruto's hand. "Be right back." she said, then all but ran out of the room before the masked individual could say anything.

"...Okay..." Naruto shrugged. He heard Kyuubi mutter something in his head, but ignored it and picked up another cup. A disposable plastic one this time.

Even with what felt like the minimum amount of strength needed to hold the thing, the cup still buckled inward until the sides were nearly touching. From there, Naruto dialed it back until he could hold the cup between his fingers without denting it. The problem was it just felt entirely wrong, almost like he was making his hand go entirely limp.

"Hm, she wasn't kidding when she said this would take some getting used to." Naruto muttered. It would be difficult to fight while in this state, and all but impossible to properly wield a sword. Or any other weapon for that matter, save maybe a club or maul.

XX

Naruto had no idea how long he had been working on regulating his newfound strength, but it seemed like only a few minutes from the time Anko left, to the time Naruto heard click of the door's lock.

As soon as he turned to greet his friends, he was set upon by the group medic, Isaro.

"How are you feeling? Are you in any pain? How many fingers am I holding up? Do you remember my name? What's forty-two divided by thirteen? Are you sure you're okay? Did you get taller?" Isaro delivered the questions rapid-fire, all in a single breath.

"...Good, but kinda weird. No. Four. Isaro. Three-point-two-three. Yes. I think so." Naruto answered the questions in order once his brain had finally processed exactly what the ANBU had said.

"Dude, calm down." Inaro said, placing a hand on his brother's shoulder. "I'm sure he'd tell us if something was wrong."

Under normal circumstances, that wasn't necessarily true. During spars, Naruto regularly tried to hide any injuries he suffered. But Inaro trusted Naruto not to withhold information that could adversely affect the mission.

"Sorry, sorry. It's just that...Well, I _saw_ you, Naruto. Jinchuuriki or not, I just find it hard to believe that anyone could fully recover from _that_ in under four days." Isaro said. "I mean, even injuries a fraction as severe as the ones you had would take most ninjas months to heal from, and years of physical therapy and the like just to get back in shape. And even then, their chances of being able to return to active duty are slim, at best."

"Well, sounds like being 'normal' isn't all it's cracked up to be." Naruto remarked.

"No, I guess not." Isaro chuckled and clapped Naruto on the shoulder. "It's good to have you back."

"Yes, it is." Sarutobi said as he stepped forward. "How are you feeling?" he asked as he pulled the boy into a hug.

"Great, actually. Better than I have in a while...But, my muscle control seems to be a bit out of whack, so forgive me for not returning the hug. Don't want to damage those old bones of yours." Naruto smirked behind his mask, only to have it wiped off when the Hokage suddenly squeezed him.

"'Old bones', eh?" Sarutobi smiled pleasantly, even as he constricted Naruto hard enough for his bones to let out an audible creak.

"I didn't say they were weak bones..." Naruto grunted. The man may have been nearing seventy, but he was still THE most powerful ninja in Konoha, and one of the most powerful in the world.

"You sure about that?" the Sandaime continued to apply pressure.

"Positive." Naruto twitched as he felt a couple ribs shift slightly.

Sarutobi finally relinquished his hold and stepped back, a self-satisfied smile plastered on his face. It wasn't sufficient payback for all the pranks and extra paperwork over the years, but it was a start.

"So," Naruto began as he stretched out his torso, "anything interesting happen while I was down and out?"

Gai, Anko and Mitara all shared looks, but decided there was no need to say anything. At least not in the presence of the others.

"No, not really." Zabuza said. "Without you around, things have been pretty boring lately."

"Yeah, that's the gist of it." Mitara agreed. "The Raikage may be the hospitable type, but we're still limited to what we can do in someone else's village."

"Speaking of the Raikage, would it be possible for me to talk to him?" Naruto asked, looking at the Hokage. "I've got some news concerning his _bear problem_."

"Ah, certainly. I sent a clone to inform him when Anko came to get me. He wanted to personally thank you for saving his daughter from Akatsuki, so he should be here any second."

"Where is Yugito, anyway?" Naruto noticed that Kakashi was absent as well, but he wasn't at all concerned about it.

"Holed up in her apartment, as she's been for the past three days." Zabuza informed, obviously none too pleased about it. "She blames herself for what happened to you, and has been beating herself up about it the whole time. You should really go and talk to her." the Jōnin's tone, as well as the slight narrowing of his eyes, indicated that it was more than just a suggestion.

"Yes, you should." came a voice that was only readily recognizable to two people in the room. "I think you're the only person who can get through to her now."

"Rest assured, Raikage-sama, I will go to her as I've made my report, assuming I'm cleared to leave." Naruto replied with a small bow.

"Report?"

"That bear problem you were telling me about." Sarutobi clarified.

"Ooh...Wait, how could you have taken care of that while you were..." Kyuuzou trailed off, unsure of how to word what he had read in the medical report without risking offending the Jinchuuriki.

"Looking like something you'd expect to see on the floor of a slaughterhouse? Remember, I said I wouldn't be the one doing the spying." Naruto said.

"Spying?" Mitara questioned, voicing everyone's thoughts. "What's going on?"

"This concerns them just as much as the three of us, so they should hear it as well." when both Kages gave their consent, Naruto began his report.

(One Hour Later)

Once Naruto had finished, a he revealed the plan for a counter-ambush he had concocted with Clementia's help. No one had any objections, but the Raikage did modify it a bit, giving himself a more active role. Afterall, these were traitors to Kumogakure no Sato, and what kind of Kage would he be if he didn't deal with them personally?

After that, the Raikage had called in his most trusted doctor, who cleared Naruto and sent him on his way. Currently, he was heading for Yugito's apartment, with Zabuza leading.

"You haven't been able to snap her out of it?" Naruto asked the taller male.

"She won't even talk to me anymore, something about not wanting me to waste my time on her." Zabuza answered with a snort. "The Raikage even tried to pull rank on her and she just shut the door in his face."

"What do you expect me to do, then?"

"Saying that it wasn't her fault doesn't mean much coming from people who weren't there. I think you telling her will make all the difference. That is, if it really wasn't her fault." Zabuza leveled a questioning gaze on Naruto.

"No, it was all me. I got cocky, made some very stupid shit, and paid for it. In fact, Yugito only saw the aftermath; she wasn't actually there to see what happened."

"She said there was some kind of demon down there."

"There was..._something_ down there. Something stronger than anything I've ever seen, short of Kyuubi herself and Kurohane's father." Zabuza didn't need to know the details. Not yet, at least.

Seeing that Naruto wasn't going to elaborate further, the former Kiri shinobi decided to change the topic.

"Kurohane's father?"

"Lord Garandou, head of the Raven Clan. A being created by the Shinigami himself, and gifted with raw power to rival the Seven-tailed Demon Lord, as well as the ability to manipulate souls." Naruto explained.

Zabuza actually paled a bit at the information. "Damn..."

"Mm-hm. Kurohane has one hell of a family tree. And just so you know, she herself is easily stronger than either of us. She may be lacking in areas like experience and elemental manipulation, but the sheer volume and potency of her chakra...It's kind of scary when you think about it." Naruto said with an exaggerated shudder.

The thought was compounded by the possibility of there being no limit to Kurohane's strength. If they were anything like the Soul Edge, then a Raven's power was dictated by the souls they consumed. So, in theory, as long as there was a steady supply of high-level souls, Kurohane could end up surpassing her father in terms of raw power. All with no training whatsoever.

"Mm. Guess I'll have to lighten up on the teasing, then." Zabuza muttered, having no desire for an encounter with the Raven Princess' scythe after what he'd just been told. He then noticed that Naruto had suddenly stopped walking. Looking back, he saw the boy staring off towards the East. "Something wrong?"

"Feels like it." Naruto frowned behind his mask. "I'm sensing Yugito's chakra further ahead, but I'm sensing the Nibi several miles that way, in the forest...Along with another source of youki, far greater than the Two-tails."

"The Rokubi." Zabuza stated, looking in the same direction as Naruto, though he couldn't see or feel anything at this range.

"What?"

"The Rokubi is here, and has been for about a thousand years. It's the reason this country is called Lightning Country, according to popular folklore, and is responsible for Kumogakure's especially violent thunderstorms. As for why the Nibi's there with it, I can only go by what Yugito told me before she stopped speaking altogether. She said that the Nekomata had 'abandoned' her to go and 'train the Rokubi', whatever that means." thinking about Yugito caused Zabuza to let out a frustrated sigh. "Look, whatever's going on between those two doesn't look like it's any of our concern. Right now, we need to get to Yugito before she does anymore damage to herself."

"Damage?"

"From what I saw the last time I was there, she's not eating, drinking or sleeping. She looked like the walking dead!" the bandaged man all but shouted, finally showing just how much the situation, and his inability to do anything about it, was getting to him.

In an instant, all thoughts of demons were pushed to the back of Naruto's mind.

"I'll got to her, alone. I don't want to risk her thinking I'm only there because you forced me."

"Tch, I doubt she'd think that, but I see your point." Zabuza sighed. "Guess I'll go grab a bite to eat, or something. Come find me when you're done." and with that, the swordsman vanished in a cloud of dense fog; the Kirigakure-exclusive version of the Body Flicker.

Then it was Naruto's turn to sigh as he took to the rooftops and headed off to deal with yet another emotionally distraught woman.

'Really, what is going on?' Naruto wondered. 'I've found myself out of my depth and in over my head more times in the last couple months than I have in my entire life.'

**"Of course you are." **Kyuubi chimed in. **"Before these past few months, Konohagakure no Sato was, for all intents and purposes, your whole world. It was all you knew, the only place you'd ever been. You've been in a pond all your life, and now you're in the ocean. Yes, you've been preparing for this for half your life, but I'm sure you've heard the saying, 'No battle plan survives contact with the enemy'. You can prepare all you want, but you never really know what's going to happen until it happens. There's a chance you might be well-equipped to handle what comes at you, like Zabuza. But, more often than not, life will throw you a curveball that you've got no hope of hitting on the first swing."**

'Then why-'

**"Because what you did wasn't the result of naiveté, ignorance or a plan gone wrong: it was sheer fucking stupidity! Arrogance! THAT is what makes it inexcusable!" **Kyuubi roared, causing Naruto to stumble as he landed in front of Yugito's apartment.

Before he could say anything, possibly digging himself into a deeper hole, Naruto felt Kyuubi's presence fade into the background of his mind. He was definitely still in the doghouse, and there was no reprieve or pardon in sight.

But, for now, there was nothing he could do about it, so there was no point in stressing over it. She had already affirmed that words meant nothing to her at this point, so the only conceivable way he saw to get back in her good graces was to show her that his major screw-up was a one-time deal. And helping Yugito was, hopefully, the first step down the path to redemption in the eyes of his mate and mentor.

(Twelve Hours Later)

Naruto's talk with Yugito had gone far better than predicted. While she was an emotional wreck and did, indeed, look like something that had walked out of a morgue, she was still coherent enough to listen to and understand what was said to her. So, after a lot of tears and apologies, Naruto was able to make her see that everything he did, he did of his own free will. And everything that happened to him was the direct result of his own errors. He even managed to get her out of her apartment, and into a grocery store to restock her utterly barren kitchen. Yugito had initially turned down his offer to pay for everything, but started to sing a different tune when they got to the seafood area.

After using some clones to get everything back to the apartment, the two Jinchuuriki just wandered around the village, stopping at various shops along the way. Before they knew it, the moon had taken the sun's place in the sky, showing that they'd spent the entire day together.

And neither of them were bothered by that.

"Ahh, a great end to a great day." Yugito sighed contentedly as she plopped down on a bench in one of the viewing platforms carved into the side of a cliff. They were mostly for the civilian tourists, but even the most hardened of ninjas could still appreciate the fantastic sunrises and sunsets that had people flocking to the strategically placed ridges.

"If you say so." Naruto shrugged as he sat down next to the older ninja and handed her a grilled shrimp kabob he had bought from a small restaurant just around the corner from the platform. "A bit too...dull for my tastes."

"Exactly. It was a nice change of pace, from my view." Yugito said as she bit into the top shrimp and leaned back into the bench. "No explosions, no fights, no fires, no property damage, no shenanigans. Just a normal day." sure, she had still had to deal with the glares, muttered insults and gross overpricing, but none of it had been able to ruin her mood.

"'Normal' is overrated." Naruto grunted, lifting his mask, taking a bit from his grilled chicken kabob and pulling the mask back down before Yugito turned to look at him.

"Sure it isn't particularly exciting, but that's what I like about it." Yugito rose an eyebrow at seeing Naruto chewing, but said nothing about it and looked up at the moon. It was a beautiful August night, with not a single cloud to be found. It was a bit on the chilly side, at forty-six degrees Fahrenheit, but nothing they couldn't handle, even in their relatively light attire. "As ninjas, our lives are always go, go, go. If we're not on-duty, we're on standby, ready to act or react at a moment's notice. Like traps just waiting to be sprung. You get used to it after a while, and even begin to enjoy it; you have to if you don't want to go insane." just from the way she said it, it was easy to tell that she at least knew OF someone who had cracked under the pressure of the shinobi lifestyle. "Moments like these, where we can just take our time and enjoy the little things, the simple things...They're few and far between, especially for people like us. That's why I think they're special. Awesome in the fact that they're NOT awesome at all."

"...I guess I can see your point." Naruto replied after taking another bite from his kabob and replacing his mask, all in the blink of an eye. "It's sort of like being rich for a day or two, and getting a taste of how the 'other side' lives. But I don't have any interest in it. Don't get me wrong, I most certainly see the appeal of just taking it easy with people whose company you enjoy, and I did have fun with you today. But...Well, I suppose you could say that I don't know how to be 'normal'. Even before I knew about my demon, I was never what you'd call an average kid. I've never been 'normal', and I never wanted to be; I just wanted to be me. When I act 'normal', that's all it is, an act. I've studied people for years to figure out how to be 'normal' for the sake of missions and the like that would require me to pose as someone else. What I learned was that I basically had to do the opposite of what I would naturally do in order to effectively blend in. I have to walk when I would usually run or jump. I have to haggle when I would usually intimidate. I have to converse with people I'd normally tell off. It just feels wrong, and I see no reason to put myself in such an uncomfortable position if I don't have to." Naruto finished and went to take another bite of his kabob, but noticed that Yugito had yet to take her eyes off of him.

With every bit of stealth and subtlety he could muster, Naruto took control of the shadow of the bench and stretched a portion of it out across the wall of the cliff behind them. Once it was out far enough, he used it to knock a small stone from its perch, causing it to roll down the side of the cliff. The sudden noise caused Yugito to turn around, giving Naruto ample time to take a couple of quick bites.

"Did you hear that?" Yugito asked, still scanning the area for unwanted company. Throughout the entire day, neither she nor Naruto had noticed anyone tailing them. For Yugito, it was due to the Raikage giving her more privacy in an attempt to bridge the gap between them. For Naruto, it was because the Kumo Council had already been caught with their hand in the cookie jar once, and likely didn't want to risk being exposed by him a second time.

But that didn't mean there wasn't someone out there. Someone really good at hiding their presence. Then again, it was doubtful that someone that good would make such a rookie mistake.

"Hear what?"

"Sounded like a rock falling, or something." she turned back around, frowning upon seeing Naruto chewing again. She opened her mouth to speak, but ended up letting out a yawn.

Three days without sleep and the absence of the Nibi were finally taking their toll on the girl. She had been so energetic all day, but now she looked like she would pass out any minute.

"Perhaps we should head back." Naruto suggested, finishing his kabob the moment Yugito's eyes closed.

"In a bit. For now, let's just...stay here." the girl said groggily as she stared up at the clear night sky. "We don't get many nights like this in Kumo. I can't even remember the last time I saw so many stars." she smiled.

Naruto also turned his eyes upward. Though he wasn't much of a stargazer, he had to admit that the heavens were a fascinating subject. The very idea that those tiny, twinkling lights were actually gigantic balls of burning gas, some several million times larger than the star that gave warmth and light to the Earth, was hard to wrap one's head around. Harder still was the fact that they were millions upon billions upon trillions of miles away. So far that even light itself took thousands, millions or even billions of years to make it to Earth.

But the stars weren't what held Naruto's interest at the moment. No, his eyes were firmly locked onto the moon. The dead ball of rock that seemed so beautiful and majestic from Earth. It was just short of being full, in its Waxing Gibbous phase, and it was already having an effect on Naruto. He'd felt invigorated and restless ever since he'd awakened, but now it was even more pronounced.

Just sitting there, bathed in its pale light, Naruto could almost hear a little voice in the back of his mind telling him to get up and do something. Such a peaceful night, in such a peaceful location, yet the masked Jinchuuriki felt like fighting someone.

"Say, Yugito...Does the moon ever make you feel...weird?" Naruto asked, then felt a sudden weight land on his left shoulder. Looking over, he saw that Yugito had finally succumbed to the sandman's call and was lightly snoring away. "I'll take that as a no."

He thought about getting up so he could carry her back to her home, but couldn't bring himself to do so after looking at her for a few seconds. She looked so at peace as she unconsciously snuggled into his arm.

'Well, I guess there's no harm in staying a bit longer.' Naruto thought as he settled back into the bench and idly twirled his kabob skewer around in his right hand. "I was wondering when you'd show up." he said out of the blue.

A second later another weight rested on his right shoulder.

**"I was wonderrring when you'd notice me." **Hinade countered as she made herself comfortable against the Darkness-wielder's arm. **"I've been following you forrr thrrree hourrrs."**

Naruto frowned at that. He'd only sensed her ten minutes ago.

"You're very good at hiding your presence." he complimented.

It was an understatement. Even now that she was touching him, he could just _barely_ sense her youki.

**"When you arrre being hunted by a God, it pays to learrrn how to supprrress yourrr powerrr to the absolute limit." **

"Hunted by a God? How'd you manage that?"

**"I did something rrreally stupid." **the Bijū said, then gave Naruto a disapproving look. **"Something I'm told you can rrrelate to."**

'Damn, Kyuubi must be speaking to her telepathically.' that was just about the last thing he needed; being chewed out by one demoness was bad enough.

**"I'm not going to lecturrre you, so don't worrry. I doubt I can say anything that Kyuubi hasn't alrrready said, and it's not my place to say anything anyway. I've got my own vessel to look afterrr. You've both made yourrr mistakes, and I think you've both learrrned yourrr lessons. Let's just hope you don't end up rrrepeating those mistakes in the futurrre, hmm?"**

"Yes, ma'am." Naruto nodded, thankful that at least one demon was cutting him some slack.

**"Good. Now, while I take carrre of Yugito, why don't you go get me a couple of these shrrrimp kabobs?" **Hinade "suggested" as she swiped Yugito's kabob and ate the last shrimp. It was still delicious, but she wanted one fresh off the grill.

"Yes, ma'am." as soon as the words left his mouth, Naruto found himself the other side of the bench, with Hinade occupying the space he had been in. Complete with her left arm in Yugito's clutches. 'Whoa...Using the Kawarimi with someone like me is a feat in itself...but to do it so effortlessly, with no sound and only the slightest spike in energy...Man, talk about advanced technique usage.'

It was generally agreed upon that using the technique in such a manner, especially in battle, was far more trouble than it was worth. The Kawarimi was most effective when used on an inanimate object of roughly equal mass, most popularly a log cut and stashed somewhere on a battlefield before and/or during a fight. Sometimes even stored in seals, either in scrolls or on a person's body. Clones were also immensely popular amongst those ranked Chūnin and above. But when it came to another person, with their own chakra network and unique signature, it was considered virtually impossible to switch places with them unless they were caught completely unawares. And the stronger they were, the lesser you chances of success.

The Nibi had just done something that few people, if anyone at all, would believe unless they had witnessed it firsthand. She had successfully switched with a powerful individual instantaneously, without the aid of handseals, and using only the bare minimum of energy.

And judging from the "I'm awesome and I know it" smirk gracing her lips, the leather-clad demoness knew she had made something extraordinary look mundane.

**"I've been walking amongst mankind, in one way orrr anotherrr, since beforrre moderrrn ninjas even came into existence. I've had centurrries to study and masterrr theirrr techniques, and even crrreate a few of my own, just like Kyuubi." **Hinade's smirk widened into a semi-grin, allowing a single elongated canine to poke out over her bottom lip.

Naruto just blinked. He still found it strange that demons would have any reason or desire to learn human techniques. Many of the things humans used techniques for, such as elemental manipulation and physical augmentation, demons like Hinade and Kyuubi could do naturally. But, at the same time, Naruto never really cared about why they bothered to learn them, he was just thankful that they did. Without Kyuubi's knowledge, his own technique repertoire would be quite limited.

So, with only a nod of understanding, Naruto stood up and made his way back over to the small shack-like restaurant.

(One Hour Later - Yugito's Apartment)

After laying Yugito down in her surprisingly plush King-sized bed, a present from her father according to the Nibi, Naruto made to leave, but was stopped by the demoness.

**"Do you have somewherrre to be?" **Hinade asked, sitting on the sofa in Yugito's living room with a glass of wine in one hand and the entire bottle sitting on the table in front of her.

"Not really, no." Naruto answered honestly.

Glancing at the "ninja watch"(2) he had bought from a gear and weapon shop, he saw it was 3:13am. All of his comrades were likely to be asleep, same as most of the village's inhabitants. But Naruto himself wasn't tired in the least; he'd just woken up from a three-day "nap" some fourteen hours ago. This left him with a crapload of pent-up energy, and no feasible way of getting rid of it. The Raikage may not have minded him blowing things up out in the forest in the afternoon, but Naruto doubted he'd be able to get away with it at three in the morning.

**"Then sit, have a drrrink with me." **Hinade patted the sofa cushion next to her. **"I'd like to spend a little time with the man courrrting my little kitten."**

Naruto twitched a little, but complied nonetheless.

"I'm not much of a wine drinker, and I'm not 'courting' anyone." he said as he sat down on the recliner opposite the couch. It was brand new, likely another gift from the Raikage, as it didn't seem like something Yugito herself would buy.

Hinade rose an eyebrow. **"I've seen you drrrink just about everrrything else, so why not wine?"**

"Well, I like the flavor and all, but I'm not what you'd call an aficionado. I don't care about smooth textures and 'subtle hints' of this and that. If I want flavor, I'll buy some grape juice. But when I buy alcohol, I want something that'll at least give me a buzz after a bottle or two. Not something where I'd have to drink eight gallons of it to feel anything. And eight gallons of wine is mighty expensive, especially if it's imported from Water Country, like what you're drinking."

**"Expensive? But arrren't you rrrich?" **the demoness asked as she took a small sip of wine, her golden, slit-pupiled eyes never leaving the Jinchuuriki.

"More or less, and I remain that way by avoiding frivolous spending. I don't drink wine by itself, nor do I drink it with food. I know a few recipes that require cooking with it, but you'd have to be dumber than a sack of rocks to pay something like ten-thousand ryō(3) for some fancy imported wine for such an application." Naruto finished with a snort.

As far as he was concerned, if you spent that kind of money on ANY drink, wine or otherwise, you officially had more money than brains.(4)

**"Well, when you say it like that, I can see yourrr point. Good thing I didn't actually pay forrr this, then, hm?" **Hinade grinned before taking another sip. **"What do you spend yourrr money on, if not the typical 'rich folk' stuff?" **

"Beyond groceries, I would say ninja gear, but I can't even remember the last time I bought things like kunai, shuriken and ninja wire." afterall, what was the point in carrying all that stuff around, when you could just make it from solid shadow at will? "I don't even buy clothing anymore. Between Kyuubi's Biosuit and the cloak, I can have any outfit I want, tailor-made by my own mind and free of charge. Nowadays, I suppose I mostly use my funds to cover repair costs, building supplies and bribes." intimidation worked just fine more often than not, but sometimes throwing a bit of cash around was the easier and more reliable solution.

Especially effective with the promise of grievous bodily harm should the "bribee" not hold up their end of the deal.

**"I must say I'm surrrprrrised." **Hinade said as she leaned forward, far more than necessary, to sit her glass on the table. With the front of her bodysuit zipped down to the absolute limits of decency, Naruto got quite an eyeful of her undeniably impressive cleavage.

Naruto shifted in his seat, trying to keep "Little Naruto" in-check. Far easier said than done. Like Kyuubi, the woman across from him was beyond anything a human woman could ever hope to reach. Hot on a supernatural level.

"...Surprised by what?"

**"That someone like you, who delights in the outrrrageous and rrrevels in the excessive, can be so...frrrugal." **

"I'm a very practical guy, at heart." Naruto shrugged.

**"But you still know how to have a good time. Both excellent qualities forrr a mate to have."**

"I'm not...Nevermind. I can see you've got the idea in your head, just don't go putting any in hers." Naruto sighed and leaned back in the recliner. Reacting on instinct, his hand shot up to catch an empty wine glass that was thrown at him by the demoness.

A split second later, he had a blue-haired bombshell sitting sideways in his lap, with her long, shapely legs draped over the recliner's right armrest. Glancing around her, Naruto spied the glass he'd been holding, sitting sideways on the sofa right where the woman had been.

**"I don't have to, you've done a fine job of that yourrrself." **Hinade smirked as she slid her right arm around Naruto's neck.

Naruto's first instinct was to deny it. But, upon giving it some thought, he found that he really couldn't. Despite having gotten off on the wrong foot, there was an undeniable bond between the two Jinchuuriki now. Naruto may have seen it as nothing more than friendship, he knew that some of the things he did could easily be misconstrued as flirting. And then there was the fact that he had just taken her on what amounted to a twelve-hour date, complete with dinner. There had even been a post-midnight snack in quite a romantic setting.

'...A setting that _she_ chose...' "Ah crap." Naruto brought his hand up to his forehead and sighed deeply.

**"Yes, yourrr love life is getting quite complicated, isn't it? Firrrst Kyuubi, then Kurrrohane, now Yugito. Not to mention the snake woman, yourrr student/stalkerrr, and Zabuza's surrrogate daughterrr." **Hinade ticked off Naruto's current and potential love interests, ignoring the boy's full-body twitches. **"Oh, and me."**

"What?" came Naruto's eloquent reply.

**"Don't get me wrrrong, I'm not looking forrr a mate. But, when you end up making my little kitten into a woman, I WILL be expecting a turrrn orrr two. Orrr twenty." **Hinade grinned cheekily. Naruto was thinking about it already, she could _feel_ it.

The comment itself didn't faze Naruto nearly as much as the involuntary reaction it garnered from his traitorous body. He was actually BLUSHING! Him, a master of innuendo! Even Kyuubi had never managed to make his cheeks burn like they did now!

And speaking of Kyuubi, Naruto couldn't help but notice that she had nothing to say about Hinade so blatantly hitting on her mate. Then again, she did say she was willing to share with those she approved of, and the Nibi was an old friend of hers...

"Wait, twenty?" Naruto looked at the demoness as if she had grown a second head.

**"Hey, I'm being conserrrvative on that! I haven't gotten laid in over thrrree-hundrrred yearrrs; I doubt I'll be able to stop myself at just twenty." **Hinade gave the masked Genin a sultry smile, which widened when she felt one particular part of his body twitch more than the rest of him. **"But don't worrry too much. I'll **_**trrry**_** to pace myself so you can keep up."**

Instantly, Naruto's entire demeanor changed. "You should be more concerned about keeping up with ME."

**"Is that so? Well, yourrr firrrst time with Kyuubi, you only managed to brrring herrr to nine Big O's." **though she didn't show it, that factoid that Kyuubi had shared struck her as very odd.

According to Kyuubi herself, it was Naruto's first time, and he had been basically ignorant to the intricacies of sex not even two months prior. So how could someone who had never done it before, and had just been given "The Talk", be good enough to make the strongest demon alive pass out? There had been no fumbling, no awkwardness and no instruction needed. In Kyuubi's own words, it was like he had an instinct for it. Like his body was on autopilot, and his brain was just taking notes on what worked best on her and where.(5)

"Hey, if she hadn't passed out, I'm sure I could've given her a few more." Naruto said, so preoccupied with defending his pride that he didn't notice he'd just walked into a trap.

**"'A few morrre' won't cut it, Blondie. I expect twenty, **_**at least**_**."**

"You'll be knocked out before then."

**"A challenge?" **Hinade grinned and leaned in until her nose was touching the smooth surface of his mask.

"A guarantee." Naruto affirmed, refusing the back down, and still not recognizing the ploy.

**"I'll hold you to it." **the leather-clad woman's grin widened.

Hook, line and sinker.

"...I've been duped." Naruto frowned.

**"Yourrr own fault." **Hinade said, unable to get the victorious grin off of her face.

"Meh." Naruto grunted.

**"So, when arrre you heading back to Konoha?" **the Nibi asked, deciding to give Naruto a break. She'd gotten what she wanted.

"At dawn."

**"Oh..."** for a second, Hinade's expression became downcast. She had hoped he'd stay at least one more day. **"She'll miss you terrribly."**

"I'll miss her, too." it was an earnest statement, but it sounded somewhat awkward coming from Naruto.

**"Talk about yourrr long distance rrrelationships, eh?" **

"Like that would work."

**"Oh, I don't know. If this whole alliance deal worrrks out, you two may be able to visit one anotherrr." **

"I doubt it. I'll never be allowed that far outside of Konoha unless it's for a mission, and I'd need to make Jōnin to get those kinds of missions."

**"Yet herrre you arrre, in Kumo, as a Genin."**

"Special circumstances, which will likely never arise again. Especially with the Akatsuki on the move." Naruto grumbled. Once the Konoha Council found out about this, he'd be lucky to be allowed outside of Konoha's walls at all.

That wouldn't stop him, of course, but still.

**"Well then, all the morrre incentive to become a Hunterrr-nin."**

Once one became a Hunter, borders and territories no longer mattered. You went where the bounties were, and few people asked questions. So a Konoha Hunter showing up in Kumo wouldn't draw too much attention.

That was Naruto's dream, the career he'd chosen once being Hokage became an impossible goal, and then an unwanted one. He wanted to be able to travel the world, doing as he pleased with no superior officers or scheming council members holding him down. He would answer to the Hokage alone, and only return to Konoha by his/her order.

"I guess so...Listen, I doubt Yugito will be waking up anytime soon. I'm surprised she managed to last the entire day..." Naruto paused, unsure of how to word his request.

**"You want me to let herrr know you said goodbye." **Hinade smiled slightly.

"Yeah." Naruto looked away, obviously embarrassed. He really needed to work on his social skills, if only to avoid making a fool of himself like he felt he was now.

**"No prrroblem. Just don't be a strrrangerrr, okay?" **and with that, Hinade was gone.

Naruto stared at the red satin pillow now sitting in his lap and chuckled softly.

"Well, I did say normal was overrated."

(Three Hours Later)

The sun was just beginning to peek over the horizon, small beams of its brilliant light slowly spreading out over the landscape. Residents and visitors alike were still coming out of their homes and traveling to the best vantage points, some of them still in their pajamas as they rushed through Kumogakure's streets.

But a certain group of people had no time to enjoy the sunrise.

"If everyone's ready, let's get a move on." Naruto said as he took his place at the reins of the Hell Hounds.

"Until we meet again, Kakashi-san." Raibu said as he held out his hand.

"May we both be a step closer to our goals when we do." Kakashi took the offered hand in a firm shake, then went to take his place riding on top of the carriage.

That left only the Hokage to bid farewell to his Lightning Country counterpart.

"I must say, our visit here has been as interesting as it was productive." Sarutobi chuckled.

"Interesting indeed. Almost makes me sad that you have to go...It's going to seem so boring around here now." Kyuuzou laughed.

"You can have a few of them, if you'd like."

"Oh no, you aren't shoving them off on me, you old coot. When I look at them, all I see are mounds of paperwork!" speaking of paperwork, Kyuuzou barely kept his tears at bay when he thought of all the paperwork that had backed up since the arrival of the Hokage and his escort team.

"Oh? You still do paperwork?" the Hokage asked as he reached into his robes and pulled out his pipe, which was somehow already lit.

"You don't." the Raikage deadpanned, taking note of the much older man's smug expression.

"Of course not. That kind of grunt work is for clones!" Sarutobi laughed, as if he hadn't been told of the secret to vanquishing paperwork just a few weeks ago.

Kyuuzou just stood there for several seconds, staring blankly in the Hokage's direction, but not directly at him.

Suddenly, he bowed deeply. "I am forever in your debt, wise leader of the Leaf Village."

That drew some chuckles from everyone. The Yondaime Raikage was definitely a far cry from his predecessors. Now, if he could just convince his council that wasn't a bad thing...

"Think of it as a gesture of good faith." the Hokage said as he shook the younger man's hand.

"You've just made my life a whole lot easier, so I'll have to think of a way to return the favor some day. Safe travels, friends!" the Raikage and his assistant waved to the Konoha group, who all returned the gesture as the Hokage stepped into the carriage.

"Ready?" Naruto asked. Upon getting nods from all up top, and two thumps on the roof of the carriage from inside, he snapped the reins.

The four monstrous dogs shot forward in unison, accelerating at a frightening rate. Kumo's Southern gates passed by as a blur and they were suddenly on a fairly narrow ledge that marked the beginning of the mountain trail.

"Whoa, whoa!" Naruto pulled the reins back, causing the hounds to slow down. He hadn't meant for them to take off like that; he'd put too much power into the initial snap.

"A little warning would've been nice!" Zabuza yelled as he rubbed the left side of his head, having smacked it on Mitara's knee after falling back.

"Sorry, I'm still having muscle control issues." Naruto apologized.

"Then maybe someone else should drive." Mitara suggested.

"It's not that bad. We'll just have to go slow and steady through the mountain trail. Once we get out to open ground, it'll be smooth sailing." the Jinchuuriki assured his passengers.

"If you say so. Just don't sent us over a cliff or anything. Those mutts of yours don't look like they can fly." Zabuza remarked.

"They don't look like a means of transportation, either, but they got us here just fine." Naruto countered.

Zabuza just grunted and sat back with the others, taking in the view. The mountains may have been filled with dangers, both apparent and hidden, but no one could deny that they were a breathtaking sight. Especially when the morning light hit the peaks just right, causing the white snow to appear like molten metal.

Or, as a travel brochure once claimed, like teeth of a dragon, glowing white-hot after a burst of intense flames.

'I could get used to this.' Naruto thought as he gently tugged on the reins to make the hounds turn left to follow the trail. 'Too bad there's nothing like this in Konoha.'

As they made their way through the mountain path at a brisk, though cautious pace, none of the Konoha shinobi gave any indication that they knew they were being watched. They were relaxed and...vulnerable.

_Too_ vulnerable in the eyes of their stalkers. These were supposed to be the best and brightest that Konohagakure no Sato had to offer. They were supposed to be on their toes every second of every minute of every hour of every day. Especially when they were traveling with their commander and chief. Yet there they were, basically lounging, taking in the scenery as they rode through the mountains.

It just felt wrong, and it made the stalkers very apprehensive about springing their trap. As such, the Konoha group passed two of the four set ambush points without incident. At the third, an overzealous stalker nearly compromised the entire operation. Fortunately he was _curbed _before he got too far. However, the incident did convince the others that the Konoha shinobi weren't just pretending to have their guard down. So, at the fourth and final point, the trigger was pulled and Konoha's greatest warriors were engulfed in a massive explosion.

But, despite appearances, not everything had gone according to plan. The stalkers had used a thousand incendiary explosive tags to ensure the demise of the Hokage and his escorts, with a rockslide and a fifteen-hundred foot drop to kill anyone who somehow survived the explosion. But, despite all the tags going off perfectly, neither the cliff nor the wide ledge that made up the path collapsed into the abyss below.

That meant Plan B was to be put into effect, which required the stalkers to ensure the success of the ambush personally.

In seconds, no less than thirty ninjas surrounded the flaming wreckage, waiting for the smoke to clear so they could get a visual. They were all dressed exactly alike, distinguishable from one another only by their height. Their dark brown pants, shirts, gloves and ninja sandals weren't readily identifiable as part of any hidden village's standard ninja uniform. Nor was their somewhat bulky, samurai-like armor, colored in a lighter shade of brown. Black balaclavas kept their hair colors and styles hidden, and their faces were covered by completely blank grey masks, bearing no symbols. No one would be able to tell who they were or where they were from, which was exactly how it was supposed to be.

"You think we got 'em?" one of the ninjas asked, his/her voice heavily altered by the device built into their mask.

"I don't sense anything...But remember who we're dealing with. If you believe the stories, there were several people in that group who could've survived something like that." the ninja closest to the wreckage, the apparent leader, replied.

Even their voices were identical to one another.

"How right you are." an unfiltered voice called, causing all of the unidentified ninjas to whirl around.

Had they not been wearing masks, most would've rubbed their eyes in disbelief.

There, no more than fifty feet away, was the carriage they had just blown straight to hell. Complete with the shinobi riding on top of it, and the horrifying creatures pulling it.

It was the driver, the supposed Hunter-nin they had been told about, who had spoke. And he didn't sound at all concerned about the fact that, though they had apparently duped their would-be assassins, they were still greatly outnumbered.

"How did you...Wait, the tunnel..." the leader of the assassins trailed off, his robotic drone not conveying his frustration at all. The carriage had traveled through a tunnel that had been drilled into the mountainside as an alternative to a notoriously unstable part of the trail. The assassins had lost sight of the carriage for just a few seconds, but apparently that was all it took to make the switch.

"Ah, this one's pretty smart." the Hunter remarked with obvious sarcasm.

Before the leader could reply, another voice from inside the carriage did so. A voice that caused ever assassin who heard it to tense up.

"Can't be that smart, considering the stunt he just pulled."

Time seemed to slow down as the carriage door opened and the owner of the voice stepped out. The assassin's had a collective "Oh Shit" moment when they found themselves being stared down by the Yondaime Raikage.

"Who are you? And I know you're all Kumogakure shinobi, so don't give me any bullshit." the Raikage demanded.

The assassins remained silent, most of them unable to speak as they saw their lives flashing before their eyes.

"Hmph. Your being here means you have no respect for my position anyway, but it was worth a try."

"No one respects your position. No one respects _you_." the leader hissed out, the voice synthesizer making it sound like he was speaking over a radio with heavy static.

"Then maybe you'll respect this. You are all hereby charged with treason, for the attempted assassination of not only an ally of the Hidden Cloud Village, but your own Raikage as well. The penalty is execution."

Several assassins took a few steps back, obviously wanting nothing more than to run, but crippled by pure fear. But their leader only chuckled.

"Treason? Hardly. In fact, we're heroes. That scum from Konoha kidnapped our _dear_ Raikage after negotiations went sour, leaving a clone behind in an attempt to fool us. We intercepted them, but, unfortunately, they killed our _beloved_ leader before we could rescue him. Kumogakure has suffered a heavy blow, but we paid Konoha back tenfold, killing not only their leader, but eight of their top ninjas as well." the leader said, reciting the story he would tell when they made their triumphant return.

"...You honestly think you and your little posse can take on two Kages?" the Raikage asked, blatantly amused by the idea.

"Hey, don't count us out." the Demon of the Mist, turned Demon of the Leaves said. "Looks like most of these clowns are shitting themselves already."

The assassins' leader only snorted, knowing that his cohorts were indeed terrified by the odds they now faced.

"I'll admit that we never counted on you showing up, so there's no contingency plan in place...However, there IS a backup plan we are to execute in the event that things didn't go exactly as they should've." the leader released a single pulse of chakra, causing some of his allies to flinch involuntarily.

They must have forgotten about the backup plan, thinking that their leader was about to attack, thus starting the battle that would ultimately lead to their collective demise.

But the leader didn't move an inch. He stood tall and confident; far too confident for a man facing down _two_ Kages, as well as the best of the best from the most powerful ninja village of all.

The reason for his confidence was soon made clear, as the top of the cliff above was suddenly lined with the silhouettes of what appeared to be _dozens_ of ninjas. Reinforcements.

"We're going to crush you." the leader sneered.

"You and what army?" the Raikage scoffed.

"...Are you blind as well as stupid?" the leader then pointed up to the cliffs. "That army!"

"I don't think so." the Raikage casually caught a roughly spherical object that looked to have been thrown at him from the cliff. Much to the horror of the would-be assassins, the object turned out to be the severed head of one of their own, as evidenced by the still-intact balaclava and blank mask. "That's MY army."

As soon as the words left the Raikage's lips, the assassins found themselves surrounded at least fifty ninjas, all dressed in uniforms that no one from Konoha recognized.

One of them, a muscle-bound giant of a man, appeared next to the Raikage, who didn't so much as flinch in the man's presence.

"My bro sends his regards." the man said, his voice a deep baritone, but with a kind of lighthearted quality to it that indicated a generally laid back individual. "He wanted to come down, but it just wasn't in the cards."(6)

The Raikage frowned ever so slightly. "It's not a problem, B. It's been a while, how's life been treating you?"

"Pretty good, can't complain. Better now, since I get to bring the pain." the large replied, rhyming once again.

"Right...So, I trust the reinforcements have been dealt with?"

"Righto, Kyuuzou. But who are these guys? Anybody you know?"

Behind the two, the Konoha crew had no idea what to make of the newcomers, especially the big one. Kyuuzou had just told them that he had a special group of people he knew he could trust to provide some backup. They had assumed he'd meant his own private security force, or a squad of ANBU. But this was above and beyond anything they could've hoped for. They could all sense that every single one of these warriors were Jōnin-level, with a few being even stronger.

And then there was the guy with the penchant for rhyming. Standing at six-foot-five and built like a bulldozer, the man dwarfed the Raikage, and everyone else present. His dark skin tone was quite a rare sight in Konoha, and Fire Country in general, but nothing unheard of. His white hair was combed back into neat rows, possibly gelled to stay in place, and further secured by a white bandana tied around his head. Like nearly all the other mystery ninjas, he wore a white vest of sorts with only a single strap over the left shoulder. But unlike them, he wore nothing underneath it, apparently preferring to show off his heavily muscled arms, which also allowed a clear view of the kanji for "Iron" tattooed in blue on his right shoulder. Again like the others, he wore plain black pants, tucked into white shin guards, and black ninja sandals. Again unlike the others, his outfit was completed by a long white scarf wrapped loosely around his neck and flowing down to the backs of his knees.

Also like the majority of the other ninjas, the man was a swordsman. A swordsman who could somehow use seven swords all at once, or just really liked to have backup blades readily available.

He briefly turned to look at the Konoha ninjas over his left shoulder, showing his white goatee, oval sunglasses and another blue tattoo on his left cheek.

Naruto got the distinct impression that the man was looking at him before he turned his attention back to the Yondaime Raikage. That probably meant that the big guy had felt in Naruto the same thing that Naruto had felt in him. The man was the vessel for a demon, and a powerful one at that. Quite possibly even stronger than the Nibi.

'Man, the surprises just never end around here.' Naruto thought.

"Dammit...Goddammit, HOW?" the leader of the doomed group of traitors roared, the sheer volume of his voice nearly shorting out his voice changer.

"You haven't figured it out yet? Tch, and you call ME stupid." Kyuuzou snorted. "You were ratted out." he then snapped his fingers and the carriage door opened once more.

This time a somewhat unassuming man stepped out. Shaggy brown hair, olive green eyes, a sharp nose, thin lips and an almost feminine jaw line with a rounded chin. He was somewhat tall, just short of six feet, with an athletic build. Dressed in plain civilian cloths, a grey jacket over a dark green shirt, black pants and ninja sandals, absolutely nothing stood out about the man. In fact, only his stance gave him away as a shinobi. Though he was obviously nervous, he was still ready to do whatever the situation called for at a moment's notice.

But despite his plain appearance, the assassins' leader immediately recognized him.

"YOU!" he roared, this time effectively breaking his voice changer. "HONDA, YOU FUCKING TRAITOR!"

In an instant, Kazuma Honda's eyes hardened and he leveled a glare on the enraged leader that actually made him flinch.(7)

"No, Mayuri, for once I'm not the traitor here. You, your father and his minions on the Council can't intimidate me anymore. I'm done being their slave, I'm done being your punching bag, and I'm done with..." Kazuma paused. There were too many people around for him to reveal _that_; it was meant for the Raikage's ears only. "I'm just done." he turned to the Raikage. "Raikage-sama, I wish to resign from my position as Captain of ANBU Squad Fifteen." he said solemnly as he reached into his jacket and produced a white, bear-themed mask with grey markings, then handed it to the Raikage.

"Are you sure?" Kyuuzou asked as he took the mask.

"Yes, sir. I've disgraced the entire Corps just by doing what I've done while wearing that mask, and I didn't even earn it in the first place." Kazuma said, backing away from the mask as if were an actual bear.

"That mask...is the least of your worries, you stupid fuck." the lead assassin, identified as Mayuri, hissed. "We gave you money. We gave you a position of power and influence. We buried your past and gave you the chance to live a normal life. We gave you everything you could ever ask for! And this is how you repay us?" he suddenly laughed psychotically. "You know what? I'm not going to hold a grudge. In fact, I'm going to do you one more favor, out of the kindness of my heart." he rocked minutely side to side as he shifted his weight from right to left. "I'm going to grant your greatest wish, and make sure you take that deep, dark secret of yours...RIGHT TO YOUR GRAVE!"

Mayuri rocketed forward with enough force to crack the ground underneath his feet. He moved so fast that he almost seemed to teleport, plowing right through the line of sword-wielding ninjas separating him from his target.

But no matter how fast he was, he was no match for Kyuuzou Hoshigi. This was a man whose speed was said to be outright supernatural; completely beyond the capabilities of a human being, bloodline or not.

One second Mayuri was barely a blur to all but the most trained of eyes. The next, he was a headless corpse tumbling violently, stump over heels, like a ragdoll right over the edge of the mountain path.

The only indication that the Raikage had done anything was him shaking his right arm, as if he were trying to get the blood flowing back into it after it had fallen asleep, or something.

"Whoa, you really can use the Lariat!" B remarked, impressed. "Not as good as me or A; it ain't that scary yet."(8) he paused for a second, then took a small notepad and a pencil out of his right trouser pocket and jotted down his latest rhyme.

Kyuuzou frowned again. He'd known Killer B for over twenty years, and he still wasn't used to the man's...quirks.

"Yeah, well just be cause I can, doesn't mean that I should've. I still can't feel my fingers after that." Kyuuzou said as he massaged his right forearm.

"That's because that technique was meant for arms like these." B uncrossed his arms and struck a double bicep pose. "Not those little twigs you've got."

Kyuuzou let out a chuckle. 'Hey, he didn't rhyme that time...Oh no.' his laughter abruptly stopped.

"If you wanna use a move that sick, you'd best bulk up, and quick."

'Dammit.' Kyuuzou frowned once again and held his left hand out to his side, palm up. Three seconds later, a severed head fell from the sky and landed in it. He wasted no time in taking off the mask and finding out the true identity of the man in charge of the cowardly group. "...Mayuri Renga." he grinned.

Renga was a Jōnin in Kumogakure's ranks. Nothing to put in a Bingo Book, but he was decent enough. But he was a cocky son of a bitch, always walking around town with an unjustified swagger and an infuriatingly smug look on his face. He seemed to think that just because his father was, for all intents and purposes, the head of Kumo's council, he could get away with anything. And, to an extent, he'd been right. No matter what he did, no matter how serious the offense, Renga always got off with little more than a slap on the wrist.

But daddy couldn't save him this time. In fact, with this latest stunt, and Kazuma's testimony, daddy would be the one who needed saving.

"I've got you now, you son of a bitch." Kyuuzou laughed, then turned his attention back to Renga's mostly forgotten crew. "As I said before, the penalty for treason is execution."

"Any special requests?" B asked, obviously excited. He had a particularly strong hatred for traitors.

"I want their heads. The more identities we can get, the more connections we can make. See how deep this whole thing really goes."

"Alright boys and girls, time to play!" B called out. "We're just takin' a bit off the top today!"

In a display of unification that almost seemed choreographed, each and every shinobi and kunoichi that had answered the Raikage's call reached for their swords. First, the sound of over fifty different blades, all singing as one as they were drawn from their sheaths. Second, the pathetic whimpers of men cowering before death. Third, fifty blades slicing through the air. Forth, the sound of innumerable drops of liquid hitting the ground, like rain, but heavier, thicker. Fifth, the meaty thumps of thirty bodies hitting the ground all at once.

Music to B's ears.

(Two Hours Later - Hi no Kuni)

After all was said and done, the Raikage thanked the Konoha group, Naruto in particular, for their help. Unfortunately, explanations and introductions would have to wait until a later time, as he wanted to get back to his village ASAP, so he could finally nail the Kumo Council to the wall.

So, the group set off again, making it back to their home village in record time.

"Home, sweet home." Naruto muttered as the carriage passed through the huge, green gates. He was already starting to miss the anonymity he'd enjoyed in Kumogakure.

They he got more than a few looks of suspicion walking through the streets of the Hidden Cloud Village, he had still been treated with respect by almost everyone he came across.

When the carriage came to a stop, its occupants disembarked and stretched, working out any kinks that had developed from sitting for so long.

"Ah, a highly successful mission, despite a few...setbacks." the Hokage said, glancing at Naruto as the boy dismissed the carriage and called the Hell Hounds back into their orb.

"This won't show up on my _official_ profile, correct?" Naruto asked as he put the glowing sphere inside his jacket, where it immediately disappeared into the Shadow Realm.

"Correct." Sarutobi nodded. "But you will still be paid for it, of course."

"Excellent. Will there be a debriefing?"

"I don't see any reason for it, since I was there. I would like some more details on the Akatsuki members you faced, but I suppose that can wait. Why?"

"I've got a couple things that require my immediate attention."

"Ahh, very well. You are dismissed. That goes for you all, just remember to pick up your payment." Sarutobi nodded to his escorts and began his trek towards the Hokage Tower, shadowed by two ANBU squads from the rooftops.

"Yes, Hokage-sama." all eight ninjas said in unison, then walked off to do their own things.

"Naruto." Kakashi suddenly called, jogging up to the boy, but stopping a good distance away. Both Zabuza and Anko were walking with him and looked back at the Copy-nin, one with curiosity and the other with pure contempt.

"Yes, Hatake?" Naruto responded, not bothering to turn around and face his "sensei".

"...Team meeting at eight o'clock, tomorrow morning, Training Ground Seven." though it was a for-your-information statement, it sounded more like a question.

"Fine, I'll be there. Just make sure you are, as well." Naruto then continued on his way without another word, or even a glance at the cycloptic Jōnin.

'Kami, I really need to think this through.' Kakashi thought as he watched his "student" walk away. 'Just going up and saying 'I'm sorry' will get me a one-way trip to the hospital, if not the morgue...' the man's eye widened as he was suddenly struck with an idea.

It was risky. A form of suicide as far as any conventional wisdom was concerned. But It was probably the only kind of apology someone like Naruto would respect or accept.

XXXX

And there it is.

What do you guys think? Swing and a miss? Homerun? Base hit? Let me know.

For future reference, in chapter 29, Predator and Prey, I said that the date was August 26th. That would make it August 31st by the end of this chapter. That is NOT the case now. I came up with an awesome idea that required me to push that date back. But, since chapter 29 is too big for me to replace with the edited chapter, I've got to tell you here. So, as of chapter 29, the date has been changed from August 26th, to August 2nd. Meaning that it's August 7th by the end of this chapter.

Yeah, I've got a kind of "24" thing going on. Even though a crapload of stuff has happened, only a five days have passed. The reason for the dates being pushed back is because I'm going to push the date of the Chūnin Exams back another month(so I can fit more stuff in prior to the Exams, and the Genin who aren't really up to snuff will have two months to train instead of just one). But don't worry, the Exam Arc will still begin in the chapter after the next one(42, technically 41 since 31 isn't a real chapter).

I know I told a lot of people that Killer B wouldn't be in this story, yet here he is. Allow me to explain. It's not because he's grown on me, or anything; I still hate him as a character. But I felt that the Kumogakure ninjas introduced in-canon, like Samui, Karui, Omoi, Darui, A, C, etc, had too much potential to not be included. So, a while back I came up with an idea to put them in the story as their in-canon selves, yet make them separate from my version of Kumo. When I decided I was putting them all in, I felt that it was kind of unfair to wipe him out of existence just because I don't like him. He IS an incredibly powerful shinobi, respected and liked by his peers, despite his personal quirks. So, I put him in, and even made him the vessel of his in-canon Ushi-Oni demon, Gyūki.

HOWEVER. Do not get used to him, for he will not be appearing often. Do not get used to his "rapping", either, as I've developed a hilarious running gag that will allow me to have him in a scene, but with no lines. I am not a song writer, I'm not fond of poetry, and I absolute _loathe_ the vast majority of rap music and rappers. So I'd rather not get too involved with the whole rhyming thing.

(1) Cookie to those who get the reference.

(2) A "ninja watch" is one that uses the wearer's chakra to both power it and make it nigh-indestructible. Waterproof by design, they use chakra to become resistant to extreme temperatures, immune to electrical surges, and virtually impervious to all but the worst physical damage. Beyond that, they've got all the features of a high-end sports watch. Timer, alarm, calendar, compass, thermometer, depth gauge, barometer, etc. Depending on how much you're willing to pay, they also have features like built-in pulse and blood pressure monitors, cameras, shortwave radios, voice recorders, signal jammers, all that good stuff. Naruto only got something basic, but expect him to upgrade once he realizes how useful some of those extra features can be.

(3) According to Kishimoto, one ryō in the Narutoverse is equal to 10 yen, which is equal to 12.32 cents. For the sake of avoiding any mathematical headaches later, I've made a yen exactly equal to a cent. So, in this story, 10 ryō equals a dollar. So 10,000 ryō equals a thousand dollars. And trust me when I say that's actually _cheap_ compared to some bottles of wine I've seen.

(4) No offense intended to any wine lovers out there. I just think that it's crazy to spend hundreds, or even thousands of dollars on a bottle of, well, anything really. I wouldn't pay that kind of money for a KEG of wine.

(5) I meant to explain this much, MUCH earlier in the story, but ideas were flying around everywhere and it just got lost in the shuffle. That explanation will come either during or just after the Exams, depending on where I feel it fits best by then. Hopefully, it'll blindside everyone and be the most impactful twist in the story to date.

(6) Ugh...

(7) I actually came up with Kazuma's family name and his ANBU mask/alias while sitting in an IHOP and penning ideas for OCs while waiting for my breakfast. I just happened to look over just as a Honda Accord with a huge Chicago Bears decal on the hood pulled into the parking space in front of the window I was seated at. Just goes to show, you never know where or when inspiration will strike.

(8) Uuuugh...Seriously, people, this shit HURTS.

The next chapter won't be out for a while, but I'll tell you right now that I'll be busting my ass to make sure it's worth the wait(as I always do). Sakura and Sasuke make their long awaited(or not...) returns, training for the Chūnin Exams begins, Shikamaru finds out that he's related to Naruto, AND(drumroll please)...Naruto joins the Konoha Shinobi Council!(WHAT?)

**XXEXTRA, EXTRA! READ ALL ABOUT IT!XX**

**Now then, it's time for a little reader participation in the second-ever Black Flames Voting Poll! In the next chapter, Team Seven will be asked to choose what they want to do before the ****Chūnin**** Exams begin. I planned on having them take one last mission, and then train until the week before the Exams begin. I also planned on making this last mission one from an anime filler arc, with my own special touches, of course. However, I just can't decide on which mission I should choose, or if I should just make something up myself!**

**So, I need your help. Mosey on over to my profile and make your choice! And if what you personally want isn't up there, hit me up with your request/idea via PM! And if you're unfamiliar with the filler arcs in the poll, just Google 'em and see which one you'd rather see me put my own spin on.**

**IMPORTANT: This will be a live poll, meaning you can see the results at anytime. HOWEVER, I must encourage you to not let whatever's ahead sway your decision. You only get one vote, and I don't want anyone to pick something just because it's "trendy"; I want to know what you really want. The poll will be open for TWO WEEKS(14 days), no more, no less. SO GO VOTE!**

**Remember, if you don't vote, then you've got no right to complain when the winner ends up being something you didn't like.**

**XXEXTRA, EXTRA! YOU'VE JUST READ ALL ABOUT IT!XX**

As always, don't be shy about asking questions. But, if they're questions about when the next update is coming, or something like that, I must insist that they be in the form of a private message. As an author, I can honestly say that the only thing worse than seeing a "review" consisting of "Good job!", is one consisting of "When will you update?".

Also, I DO NOT accept challenges or requests to be a beta. While I do appreciate it when someone thinks I'm good enough to be the go-to guy to write a story or look over one of their own, I've got enough to work on already. If you want me to look at a story and leave a review, that's fine, but that's as far as I go.

And speaking of Betas, shoutout to my "unofficial" one, Doctor Yami, for giving me the feedback I needed to stop stressing over the thought of this chapter not being good enough.

And a pre-shoutout to my other "unofficial" Betas, like The Sinful and Futon Lord, who always manage to catch the stuff I miss after publishing. Okay, so _technically_ a Beta Reader is someone who checks the work BEFORE it's released, but I doubt anyone wants to argue semantics, least of all me.

Jason Out!


	41. Actions Speak Louder

Guess who? That's right, people; Devilkeys Writing is back in action! And you know what? I'm pissed off!

Why? Because nothing has gone according to plan with this latest chapter! NOTHING! I nearly had this thing done back in July, but then I suddenly decided that I didn't like most of what I had written. So, I ended up scrapping about half of what I had. Honestly, I don't regret that, as I really didn't like what was there. But the fact that it happened when I was so close to actually meeting a deadline I had set...That's about the closest I've ever gotten to actually wanting to tear my own hair out.

Luckily, my Idea Folder came through for me. The name should be self-explanatory, but I'll give you the rundown anyway. The Idea Folder is just a folder on my computer(and backed up on several flash drives)that all the ideas that I don't use go into. Anytime I get an idea, no matter how bad or unfitting it might be, I still write it down and file it away, just in case I manage to find a use for it later on. The Idea Folder has saved my ass several times, and now I can add one more to the list.

So, advice to aspiring writers: Idea Folder: make it, use it, love it.

Anywho, this chapter's a big one, and there's a lot going on. Starts out kinda "filler-y", but it's for the sake of character development, so deal with it. I've said it before and I'll say it again: this story isn't JUST about Naruto. So just because the spotlight isn't on him all the time, doesn't mean what's going on isn't relevant.

Now then, there are a couple things I have to get off my chest. First: 3014 REVIEWS, WHOOOOO!

Second: Happy belated 5th birthday to Black Flames Dance In The Wind: Rise of Naruto! A month and a half late, but whatever.

Third: For any of you worried that this story may end up being taken down by the "purges", fret not! I have uploaded this story, as well as Tamer of the Hazard, to a site called "Your Fanfiction", and will be updating it there as well as here.

Well, I think that's about it, so how about we get this show on the road? Thank you all for your patience, and I hope this chapter makes a suitable reward. Enjoy!

XXXX

(Two Hours Before Naruto and Co.'s Return)(1)

Training Ground Eighteen was one of the less popular training sites in Konoha. This was mainly due to its proximity to the "high-rent district" of the village, and the snooty rich people who tended to complain about ninjas disturbing their peace.

To be fair, it was more than a little irritating to have explosions rattling the windows and dislodging things on the walls every few minutes. And there were few things more disconcerting than looking out your window and seeing things like fireballs and mushroom clouds just a couple hundred yards away from your home. And then there was the threat of stray attacks and/or projectile weaponry...So the civilians had every right to complain.

To be unfair, the ninjas needed to train in order to keep their skills sharp and gain new ones. Which allowed them to defend Konoha from her enemies. Which allowed the rich folks to live their lives of luxury. So, in the opinions of many ninjas, the "civvies" should've just sucked it up and invested in some soundproofing, reinforced walls and impact-resistant windows.

But, even with all the complaints, the tree-lined field was still an active training ground. And as long as no particularly loud or destructive techniques were used, everything was fine. So the site was perfect for stealth-based activities, which were exactly what the current occupants were using it for.

The Orasu sisters stood back-to-back at the very center of the clearing, watching the tree line with their normal eyes. It wouldn't be fair to their "opponent" to use their bloodline, at least not at this stage.

"Can we use it now?" however, Kiriko was no longer interested in "playing fair". Both she and her sister had been standing in the same place for nearly five minutes, waiting for something, anything, to happen.

"No." Chigusa frowned. "The whole point of this is to teach her how to fight regular ninjas. If we could see her coming, no matter what she did, it would kind of defeat the purpose."

"Okay, fine. But can we at least move? I mean, what kind of ninja would just stand here like this?!" without waiting for an answer, Kiriko took off towards the trees in front of her.

"No, wait!" Chigusa called, realizing that this had been their opponent's plan all along.

But her plea came too late. Just as Kiriko got within twenty feet of the trees, a small orange blur shot out of the foliage and landed just behind the former Kiri Chūnin, who saw it and immediately slammed on the brakes. But, in an incredible display of speed and agility, the blur made a complete one hundred and eighty degree turn and darted right between Kiriko's legs, causing her to fall flat on her back, and disappeared back into the vegetation.

"ARGH! Help, she got me! Sei got me! I've been hamstringed!" Kiriko wailed and writhed around on the ground, clutching her right thigh, in one of the worst displays of overacting in the history of mankind.(2)

Chigusa sighed deeply, shaking her head at the result of her sister's impatience. Naruto was right; they really needed to get a handle on their teamwork. They needed a better battle plan than Chigusa providing ranged support, while Kiriko got up close and personal with the enemy. But being the team strategist didn't count for much when your teammate was unwilling the stick to the plan.

She'd had them standing in the center of the field for a reason. If/When Seizonsha decided to attack, she'd have to cross quite a bit of open ground to get to them, and to get back to the safety of the tree line. The intent was to make any kind of head-on attack far too risky, forcing the fox hanyou to really think about what she was going to do. And when four minutes passed without so much as a rustling bush, Chigusa figured that Seizonsha was just having a hard time coming up with a viable battle plan. Understandable, considering that this was the first time she ever would've had to.

But when Kiriko's patience had finally worn out, it finally clicked for Chigusa. Seizonsha knew that Kiriko would be the first to break formation; she was always the first to get frustrated during games of hide and seek. Even when she was the one hiding.

It was a basic, yet masterful execution of the tried and true "divide and conquer" tactic. And on top of that, it looked like what Chigusa had told the kit had stuck. Seizonsha had gone straight for Kiriko's legs, using the black marker she'd been given to draw a horizontal line on the back of Kiriko's exposed thigh. Had the marker been the kunai or other bladed weapon it was meant to represent, Kiriko's howls would have been very real.

It was a decidedly strange experience to teach someone who wasn't human, or even humanoid, how to fight and kill. Fortunately, both Orasu had experience with ninja dogs back in Kirigakure. Unfortunately, they were far from good experiences. During the Purge, many shinobi used Ninken to sniff out the bloodline wielders who had either gone into hiding or tried to flee. But those dogs hadn't just been for tracking; they often took more victims than their handlers did. They were all more terrifying than any dog should have a right to be, but a select few stood out in Chigusa's mind. They were ninja dogs in the truest sense, traveling in packs, sticking to the shadows and striking with lethal precision when their prey least expected it. They weren't as big and strong as some of the other dogs, but they more than made up for it with sheer speed and cunning.

They would wait for victims to go by, then dart out from their hiding places to attack peoples' legs with the modified knives and swords clenched in their jaws. They would slice through muscles and tendons, sometimes taking an entire limb off, and send their prey to the ground. From there, dogs would simply wait and watch, using the injured as bait to draw out more targets, or just letting the other dogs and/or human ninjas finish them off. That is, if the victims didn't bleed to death from severed arteries first.

And while it pained her to think about them, Chigusa had to admit that their tactics were brilliant and very well-suited to Seizonsha's capabilities. And she had the added advantage of being able to finish off her opponents from a distance with her Fox Fire after she crippled them. A downed opponent could still be a dangerous one, afterall, and there was no reason to risk getting in close when you didn't have to.

"Sorry, Kiriko, but you're just bait now, and I'm not falling for it." Chigusa said.

"That's just cold!" Kiriko whined, still "writhing in pain" on the ground, apparently not worried about the dirt and grass stains her outfit was picking up.

"Well, maybe if you had stuck to the plan, you wouldn't be in this situation right now."

"'Just stand here until something happens' is NOT a plan!" Kiriko shouted. "That sounds more like what rookies do when the plan goes to hell and they can't improvise!"

"Oh, yeah, some improvisation." Chigusa rolled her eyes. "Why don't you clam up and practice playing dead, or something?" she then felt something wet touch the backs of both her knees. Looking down, she saw Seizonsha sitting on the ground to her right, marker still in her mouth and tail wagging away.

"HAHAHAHA!" Kiriko cackled, now rolling on the ground for an entirely different reason.

XX

Two hours later, at the end of their training session, Seizonsha was still happy as ever, and still in pristine condition. Chigusa had a few lines criss-crossing over her legs, from her thighs to her ankles, but overall she looked no worse for wear, and was quite proud of the little fox. Kiriko, on the other hand, looked like she had been set upon by a group of kindergarteners hopped up on ludicrous amounts of sugar.

Not only were her legs almost completely covered in bands and stripes, but her arms, torso and face had suffered much the same fate. There were even a couple lines drawn on her neck. And while her pouting grimace may have been amusing for the other two, it was all Kiriko could do to keep an outright scowl off her face. Sure, she hadn't been taking things very seriously, but she was still more than a little embarrassed by how easily she had been tricked and taken out over and over again. If Seizonsha had managed to do this to her, then she shuddered to think of what true foes, like the Bloodline Eradication Corps' Ninken, would do.

Chigusa easily picked up on her sister's genuine anger and self-disappointment, and chose not to add more insult to injury by calling her out.

"Well, I think we made some real progress today." the older Orasu sister said cheerfully. "Sei-chan, you've got the hang of what we taught you, so we'll kick it up a notch next time. Nee-chan was right when she said no real ninja would sit still and wait for you to come at them. And if they did, it would most certainly be a trap."

"So, moving targets?" Seizonsha perked up at the prospect of being able to prove herself again. Her brother never backed down and met every challenge head-on, and she was dead-set on following in his footsteps.

"More than that. Once the enemy knows that someone's stalking them, they'll likely start to actively look for you, doing everything they can to lure you out. Next time, you'll have to constantly stay on the move, and stay hidden at the same time. We'll be testing your ability to think on your feet more than anything else." Chigusa said with a mental sigh. Sometimes she really wished she didn't have such a head for battle. It really clashed with her calm, friendly, optimistic personality.

"I'll do my best!" Seizonsha yipped.

"Just make sure the markers aren't permanent next time around." Kiriko grumbled as she licked her thumb and tried to rub off one of the lines on her left forearm, to no avail.

"Sorry." Chigusa chuckled, rubbing the back of her head nervously. "How about we go get something to eat before heading home?"

"...Go to a restaurant? Looking like this?! I don't think so!" Kiriko frowned deeply, wondering how long she'd have to be in the shower to get all the ink off.

"Okay, okay, I guess we can go home first."

"I'll probably be in the bathroom for at least an hour. No, you and Sei-chan go ahead; I'll go get something later." Kiriko said.

"You sure?" Chigusa frowned as Seizonsha jumped up onto her shoulders. Receiving a nod, she just sighed. "Alright. We'll bring you something back."

And with that, the sisters parted ways.

(Naruto's Apartment)

If one stepped into Naruto's personal apartment, the first thing they would notice was the smell of burnt plastic, followed by the sight of a thin haze of smoke around the ceiling. Both were coming from the kitchen, which could barely be recognized as such at this point.

It looked like a tornado had blown through, ripping open cabinets and tossing their contents all around. The floor couldn't be seen under the layer white powder; a combination of flour, sugar, salt and baking soda. The walls were splashed with what looked like chocolate, and _something_ was dripping from parts of the ceiling.

And in the middle of it all, covered in all manner of ingredients and condiments, was Haku. She was clad in what _used_ to be a white apron, over her civilian clothes, with a blue bandana tied around her head to keep her hair out of the way and out of the food. With a look of intense concentration on her face, a chef's knife in one hand and a cookbook in another, she looked every bit like a schoolgirl trying to make lunch for a boyfriend. And she knew it.

"Do I really need that much onion?" the girl mumbled to herself, idly twirling the knife around in her left hand. "No, no, get the recipe down pat, THEN start making changes." she set the book down and started chopping the onion sitting on the surprisingly clean cutting board on the counter in front of her. "Look at me, acting like a character out of some dumb manga." Haku laughed. "Well, at least I haven't cut my fingers."

Suddenly, she felt a familiar chakra signature just outside the apartment door. A second later, said door was opened and in came Kiriko, looking like a living piece of abstract art.

"Not. A. Word." the green-haired girl all but hissed as she stomped her way to Naruto's bathroom.

To her credit, Haku managed to stave off the laughter until she heard the bathroom door slam shut. However, her guffawing was quickly cut short when she felt a slight sting in her left index finger. She had still been chopping the onion and her finger had been allowed to wander just a bit too close to the blade.

Haku looked at the tiny trickle of blood with pure disdain. It was embarrassing for a kunoichi of her caliber to injure herself, however slightly, doing such a mundane task. Really, she could probably juggle two dozen knives, blindfolded, and not suffer even the slightest prick. Now she had managed to draw her own blood while cutting a vegetable.

But, instead of being angry about it, Haku just let out a resigned sigh. She then checked the various timers she had set, and went off to her own personal apartment to find a band-aid, as she knew Naruto didn't have any himself.

Barely a minute later, Naruto entered his apartment with Zabuza in-tow.

"...Okay, what the fuck?" Naruto deadpanned.

"Looks like your clones have done some remodeling." Zabuza snickered. "Can't say I like the whole 'landfill' look, though."

"My clones didn't do this. My clones _wouldn't_ do this." Naruto shook his head. "My clones shouldn't have even allowed this to happen." for reasons he would chalk up to morbid curiosity later on, the masked Jinchuuriki cautiously stepped into the kitchen, grimacing when he felt and heard the floor _squish_ underneath his boots.

"Well, they did." Zabuza said, not bothering to hide his amusement. As he walked up to the threshold of the kitchen, he spied several books piled up on the edge of the counter. Careful not to set foot on the floor, the man with the bandaged face picked up the top book and looked at the title after blowing a layer of flour off the cover. '"So, You Wanna Be a Chef?", eh? Damn, and I thought the girl was bad when she only had a campfire to work with!'

"Really, what the hell is all this?" Naruto mumbled to himself as he inspected everything, from the timers, to the chopped vegetables still littering the counter. 'Is that blood?' he thought as he came to a cutting board with a half-diced white onion and a discarded eight-inch chef's knife.

But, before he could check it out more thoroughly, he was distracted by the strong scent of burning meat. His nose led him to the smaller of his two ovens. When he opened the door, black smoke instantly billowed out into his face and he recoiled suddenly, slamming the door shut and holding it.

"What was it?" Zabuza asked, just barely able to contain himself as he imagined the look of bewilderment behind Naruto's mask.

"I don't know...But I think it growled at me."

At that, Zabuza lost it, collapsing onto the floor in a fit of rib-cracking laughter that took him a full two minutes to recover from.

As he pulled himself up and peered over the counter, he caught sight of something behind Naruto, who had turned his attention to the cookbooks. There was something in the larger oven, and it was slowly pushing the door open.

Trusting the slight churning in his gut that told him something bad was going to happen, Zabuza walked sideways to his right, out of the predicted line of fire.

Seconds later, Naruto put down one of the books and lifted his head, taking a couple of audible sniffs.

"Do you smell chocolate?" he asked.

"Nope." Zabuza replied, making sure he wasn't too obvious in looking at the oven.

The low, metallic groan of the oven door's hinges was the only warning Naruto got. Just as he turned around to see what it was, the oven door exploded outward and the boy was showered in a gooey, dark brown, scalding-hot substance.

Once again, Zabuza lost it.

It was at this moment that Haku re-entered the apartment. She heard Zabuza's laughter, but couldn't see him from her position because of the couch. So her eyes immediately locked onto what she assumed was one of Naruto's clones. A clone that was absolutely drenched in the steaming, bubbling remains of her failed chocolate cake.

"Omigodomigodomigod, I am SO sorry!" Haku apologized furiously as she rushed over, instinctively using her chakra to keep herself from sliding into him due to the crud on the floor.

"..."

"Um...D-Does it hurt?" the clones had told her on several occasions that they didn't actually feel pain, as they didn't have a real nervous system. But it was in her nature to ask if they were alright when something particularly painful-looking happened to them.

"...Not really..." for a guy who could set himself on fire with no ill effects, this was nothing.

Nothing but humiliating.

"Ah...Please don't tell Naruto about this!" Haku pleaded, the puppy-dog eyes cranked all the way to eleven. "I'll have it all cleaned up before he gets back, just PLEASE don't tell him!"

Naruto was _almost_ tempted to play along and pretend that he was just a clone. But he knew Haku would eventually figure it out, and Zabuza definitely wouldn't just act like it had never happened.

"I think he already knows..." Naruto said as he tried to clear the slowly cooling chocolate off of his mask, only succeeding in smearing it.

"Wha..." it was then that Haku finally took notice of the quiet snickering just behind her. She expected it to be another clone, laughing at the misfortune of the one before her. But when she turned around, she saw that it was Zabuza.

His face was red, his body was shaking, and his hands were clamped over his mouth in a failed attempt to muffle the sounds. When he saw that he had been noticed, he gave up all pretense and once again fell to the floor.

'But...If Zabuza is here, then that means...' Haku turned slowly back to the "clone", and for the first time took notice of the fact that it wasn't like all the others. Not only was it a bit taller, but it was dressed differently, wearing a form-fitting hooded jacket with two long tails, instead of the normal cloak.

"If this is your idea of a 'welcome home gift', it leaves much to be desired." Naruto said, reaching for a dishtowel so he could at least wipe his hands off.

Haku was frozen to her spot, unable to move, speak or even blink. She wanted to say something, utter some kind of apology, but she couldn't think of anything. So, unable to form a rational response, Haku's brain instead chose to surrender to the hilarity of the situation.

Naruto's right eye began to twitch violently when the dark-haired beauty joined her surrogate father on the floor. At first, he had been willing to accept this as an accident and leave it at that. But now that Haku was laughing about it, it officially qualified as a prank. Retaliation was mandatory. Of course, he wouldn't tell them that. He'd let them have their fun, for now. Besides, he needed to think of a suitable revenge prank.

'But first, a hot shower.' Naruto thought as he stepped over Haku and around Zabuza.

Normally, he would've just burned the offending substance off of his person. But that would leave him smelling like burnt chocolate for a while, which was worse than smelling like barbeque. Plus, a shower was so much more pleasant and relaxing, and he felt he deserved to treat himself a bit after the week he'd had.

As he approached his bathroom, he heard something he hadn't noticed before: the shower was running. But, as he got to the door, it was turned off and he could hear the shower door slide open as the occupant stepped out.

"Kiriko?" Naruto muttered aloud, recognizing his "sister's" chakra signature. 'Why does everyone keep using my stuff? Haku's got her own kitchen, and Kiriko's got her own shower.' sure, he had the nicest stuff, naturally, but still.

"Hey, Haku-chan," Kiriko called from inside the bathroom, "I used the last of Nii-chama's shampoo." Naruto's eye twitched. "I'll pick up a few bottles when I go out, so don't wor-!" the Orasu stopped cold when she opened the door and nearly walked right into Naruto, whom she assumed was a mere clone.

A clone covered in melted chocolate.

"Not. A. Word." Naruto ordered, then stepped passed Kiriko to enter the bathroom, making sure not to touch her.

As the door closed behind her, Kiriko blinked once, then twice, then turned to Haku, who was still laughing. And right next to her was Zabuza, tears flowing freely from his eyes as he clutched his aching abdomen.

'But if Zabuza's here, then...' Kiriko gulped nervously and turned back to the bathroom door.

But, before she could explain herself or apologize, the door opened again and Naruto peeked out. He just stared at her for a second, chocolate still slowly dripping from his mask. He then looked her up and down, flashed a thumbs-up, and ducked back into the bathroom, all without a single word.

It was then that Kiriko remembered that all she had was a white towel to maintain her decency. Her first instinct was to call Naruto a pervert. But then she remembered that she had ogled him first. And with those eyes of hers, she had seen far more of him than he had of her.

(Secret Tunnels - Movie Room)

"Wow...You know, for highly-trained 'super assassins', these ninjas sure to overlook a lot of stuff." Kurohane said as she sat back in a recliner and watched footage from one of Naruto's pranks on a projector screen.

"Even the most paranoid of ninjas don't expect to be assaulted, in one way or another, inside their own home. At least, not without them knowing that someone had gotten in." the clone sitting on the floor in front and to the right of the recliner said. "That's why the Boss chooses to target people in their homes so often. Getting in is the hard part, and most of the time even that is laughably easy."

"Okay, I'll give you that. But these particular ninjas had the added benefit of x-ray vision, and they still had no idea what was going on." Kurohane countered.

Indeed, she and the clone were watching the results of Naruto's last prank on the Hyūga clan. While Naruto may have been heavily intoxicated at the time, the clones weren't and still followed standard operating procedure for pranks. Once the deeds were done, no less than three clones, all armed with high-end personal video cameras, took up strategic positions all around the site of the prank to capture the prank itself, as well as reactions of the victims from as many different angles as possible. Once that was done, the clones would report back to the apartment building, where the footage would be edited and spliced together to make a single video that looked like an actual movie.

For this prank, there had been a total of seven clones, stationed all throughout the Hyūga clanhome. Two had been at the main house's laundry room, one inside and one out in the hall, and had captured the initial reactions to the perfectly white robes, yukatas and kimonos being stained in every color of the rainbow. Another had been in Hiashi Hyūga's own personal quarters, and had captured his reaction to the news. And at this point in the video, they were all lying in wait in the halls, watching as dozens of Hyūga rampaged around the compound. And yet, even with all those highly-trained ninjas, most with Byakugans fully active, the clones remained completely undetected. Some of the Hyūga even looked right at the cameras, but didn't give even the slightest hint that they actually saw them.

"It's actually because of their bloodline that it's so easy to infiltrate the Hyūga compound." the clone said. "They believe their eyes are the be-all, end-all of Dōjutsu, and that nothing can get passed them. As the Boss has observed, this arrogance, though somewhat justified, is their greatest weakness. It's almost like they forget that they have to activate their 'all-seeing eyes' for them to work. Most of them, main house and branch alike, rarely use their Byakugan while in the compound, aside from training. Even the guards only perform cursory scans of the grounds every few minutes. It's their belief that they can and will catch any intruders that keeps them from ever catching the Boss."

Kurohane nodded in understanding, but something still bugged her. "Okay, I get that...But what about after he's stirred up the hornet's nest? I mean, just look at that; everyone's on high alert, and they've all got those creepy eyes going." the Raven Princess shivered a bit as a close-up of a Hyūga's snarling visage appeared on the screen. She just couldn't get over the bulging veins around their eyes when they activated their bloodline.

"The Hyūga pride themselves on being able to see everything around them all at once. But if you give them an immediate threat to focus on, they're no different from anyone else." the clone replied.

"Immediate threat? What..." Kurohane trailed off as the video cut to footage of shadowy, unidentifiable figure darted around the corner of a hallway, with several Hyūgas in hot pursuit. "What was that?"

"Shadow shaped into a human form, but given no distinct characteristics or features. Basically a three-dimensional silhouette; an 'incomplete' Darkness Clone, for lack of a better term."

"Oooh." Kurohane nodded in understanding. Well, understanding of the concept, anyway. She still wasn't quite sure about how having the thing running around prevented the ninjas from seeing the other clones. But it had worked, so who was she to question it?

The next few minutes were spent laughing at the "graceful and dignified" Hyūgas tripping over themselves, sometimes literally, in pursuit of the intruder. At least, the clone was laughing; Kurohane was mostly moping. She still hadn't heard anything from Kyuubi, and her worrying over Naruto's condition was beginning to turn into out-and-out depression. And being around so many of his clones only made things worse. With their appearance and the way they acted most of the time, Kurohane often allowed herself to be fooled into thinking that Naruto was really there with her. But then the clones would do something to shatter the illusion.

They would say something about "The Boss", or one of their distinctive personality quirks would show through, or they'd go to recharge themselves.

Take the clone Kurohane was currently hanging out with. From what she gathered, it was a bit of a slacker, always looking for an excuse to take a break from...whatever it was supposed to be doing. Thus Kurohane often encountered it just wandering through the corridors with no real goals or destinations, and usually found herself wandering around with it. She had gotten to know this particular clone quite well as a result of their frequent meetings, and it was the one most often responsible for sending her into a bout of "gloom and doom".

As they watched videos together, the clone would politely answer her questions, recall its personal experiences, and even crack a joke every now and then. It was so much like the real Naruto that Kurohane ended up treating it as if it was, even going so far as to flirt with it a few times. But then the reality-check bitch-slap came, usually in the form of a reference to "The Boss". The black-haired beauty tried to re-establish the fantasy, if only to keep her mind off of her real future lover, but it was too late.

Now she could only stare at the clone as it pointed and laughed at the screen. That was another thing that set it apart from the real Naruto. This clone was far too easily amused, and would laugh at even the most unfunny of jokes. And even the way it laughed was different from what she had seen of Naruto. His expressions of amusement were far more subtle and subdued.

Kurohane was so busy lamenting his absence, that she didn't notice when the object of her desires walked into the room behind her.

"Oh? So, the Hyūga video is finished." Naruto said as he sat down on the cushy right armrest of the recliner Kurohane was in, startling her.

"Would it kill you guys to announce your presence BEFORE you're right on top of me?!" Kurohane glared at what she assumed was another clone.

"Uh...Sorry?" Naruto ventured, his head cocked to the side slightly.

Kurohane only frowned and looked back at the projector screen with a low huff.

Naruto furrowed his brow as he regarded his Familiar's expression and body language. She was obviously upset about something.

So now Naruto found himself in a position that virtually every man on the planet could sympathize with. He had to figure out what was wrong with one of the women in his life, without ending up turning her ire onto himself.

But, before he could say anything, his clone spoke up with an exuberance that marked him as one of _those_ types. The ones that were his doppelgangers in appearance and knowledge only.

"Oh, oh, I remember this part! It's my favorite out of all the shots!" the clone exclaimed, its body literally vibrating with excitement.

Both Naruto and Kurohane turned their full attention to the screen. They saw that the Hyūga Clanhead himself had joined the chase, and had actually managed to corner the "3D silhouette" at a dead end in the compound.

This dead end wasn't well-lit at all, so it could have just used the Shadow Walk to melt into the darkness and disappear. But that wasn't an option with Hiashi watching it like a hawk. Only one person in Konoha was known to be able to do that, and Naruto couldn't have any of this trace back to him. So, rather than risk implicating him, or causing damage to the compound by breaking down a wall to escape, the silhouette rushed Hiashi, seemingly intent on fighting.

A single camera, situated at the other end of the hall, behind Hiashi, captured the whole thing. The clone lunged, but Hiashi was faster. Though he was officially retired from active duty, Hiashi Hyūga had been one of Konoha's strongest Jōnin in his prime, and hadn't let the boring, comfy life of a clan-head dull his skills in the least. The clone had only taken two steps before it was stopped dead in its tracks by a palm thrust right to the heart.(3)

Fortunately, the clone didn't have a heart, and the blow was somewhat lacking in actual kinetic force.

It wasn't hard to imagine Hiashi's surprise when the intruder's body split apart right down the middle. Nor was it hard to imagine what was going through his head when the two halves regenerated themselves into two whole, separate bodies. So stunned was he, that the two dark figures were able to dash right passed him and branch off down two different hallways, adding even more confusion and chaos to the situation.

"This is it!" Naruto's clone giggled and bounced up and down in place, like a child in a toy store.

A few seconds later, the camera caught Hiashi slowly turning around and walking stiffly back down the hall. As the camera zoomed in on his face, the clone burst out laughing. The look of utter bewilderment and disbelief was such a major departure from the man's normal stoic visage, that it almost looked fake.

Of course, since she didn't know the man, the full hilarity of that thirty seconds of footage was lost on Kurohane. Didn't stop her from laughing, though. But when the clone on the floor spoke, everything came screeching to a halt.

"Oh, man, you really outdid yourself on that one, Boss. There's still another four hours of footage that we haven't even gotten to yet!"

"I'm just glad we've got footage in the first place," the other "clone" chuckled, "I still don't remember half of what I did that day."

"But what sucks is that now you've got to figure out a way to top it."

"That's true. But I'm sure I'll come up with something."

"N-Naruto..." Kurohane choked out as her throat began to constrict and tears formed at the corners of her eyes.

"About time you no-!" Naruto never got to finish, as he was tackled right off of the recliner's armrest and onto the floor. 'Not again...' he thought as the princess sobbed into his chest, blubbering incoherently. Off to the side, his saw his clone openly laughing at his misfortune. "Don't you have a job to be doing right now?"

"Uh...Not really, no." the clone replied.

"Well, then I suppose there's no point in keeping you around, hm?"

"On second thought, I do have some work backed up. It's good to have you back, Boss!" and with that, the clone bowed and quickly made itself scarce.

"What happened to all the normal clones?" Naruto muttered before returning his attention to Kurohane. "Um...There, there?" he said, hugging her awkwardly and patting her back a couple times.

"I-I'm sorry." Kurohane finally spoke, lifting her head to wipe the tears from her eyes. "I'm your Familiar, your bodyguard...I shouldn't be acting like this." she sniffled and looked up, her eyes still watering. "But I've been so worried ever since...ever since Kyuubi told me that you were hurt."

"As you can see, I'm perfectly fine. In fact, I'm a good deal better than fine." Naruto replied. "But how did Kyuubi tell you anything?"

"Turns out you and I have a mental link that allows us to communicate over long distances. They probably mentioned that in school, but..." Kurohane laughed sheepishly.

Were she just about anyone else, Naruto would find that kind of forgetfulness irritating. But with Kurohane, it only added to her charm.

"Neat. Now, would you mind letting me up? I'm not really complaining about out position, but I'm sort of here on business."

Kurohane looked at him strangely, contemplating something. Then, quick as a flash, she reached up and yanked Naruto's mask off.

Grinning, she said, "As a matter of fact, I _do_ mind."

Naruto wasn't at all surprised when he found his lips captured kiss. But he was surprised by the sheer intensity of it. To call it "passionate" was a gross understatement. It was beyond even his first kiss with Kyuubi.

The demoness had no problem putting her feelings into words; speaking her mind whenever, wherever, to and about whomever. She had told Naruto outright exactly what she had wanted before their lips had ever touched. But Kurohane wasn't like that. She hadn't had ten-thousand years to become incomprehensibly articulate. She didn't have Kyuubi's experience and know-how when it came to pinning down and deciphering her emotions.

Kurohane conveyed her more complex and powerful emotions through actions. So when she kissed Naruto, she poured everything into it. Into him. All the things she didn't know how to say. The Princess related her innermost thoughts and desires in the most basic, primitive and effective of ways.

It didn't take long for Naruto to return the kiss. But it didn't take long for him to break it, either. As his arms came up to wrap around Kurohane's waist and pulled her body flush against his own, she let out a cross between a groan and a squeak. He knew he had squeezed too hard and immediately let go, bringing his hands up to her shoulders and pushing her off as gently as he could.

"Wha...What's wrong?" Kurohane panted, red eyes glazed over with lust as she weakly pushed back against Naruto's hands, eager to resume their activities.

"I'm sorry...After what happened to me in Kumo, I'm having trouble controlling my muscles." Naruto answered, looking away in embarrassment.

"That's all?" Kurohane giggled and used a finger to trace lazy circles on Naruto's chest. "You know I'm not some fragile human girl; you don't have to worry about hurting me." to demonstrate her point, the Princess grabbed Naruto's wrists and easily overpowered him, pinning them to the floor above his head.

"I know that, but it's your first time, right? I don't want to give you anything less than my best."

"Hmm..." Kurohane narrowed her eyes slightly and leaned down until their foreheads were touching.

Crimson burned into blue with almost frightening intensity, and Naruto began to wonder if she thought he was lying to her.

But after a few seconds she suddenly smiled and let go of his wrists, leaning back to sit on his stomach, just above his crotch.

"Oh my...Naruto, being self-conscious? That's not something you see everyday." Kurohane giggled.

"...Maybe a little." Naruto shrugged.

"Well that's alright. I've had a lot of time to think over the past few days, and I realized something; we've only known each other for about a month. And in that time, we haven't really done anything." the black-haired beauty sighed. "No dates, no romantic dinners, not even so much as a moonlight stroll through the park!"

"...That's it?"

"What do you mean 'that's it'?! That kind of stuff is the cornerstone of a good relationship!" Kurohane pouted.

"It is?" Naruto cocked his head to the side.

"From what I've heard and read..." Kurohane looked away; things were starting to get awkward.

"Huh." Naruto didn't really know what to say to that.

His only experience with "normal" relationships were his observations of random couples in Konoha. Personally, he wasn't at all interested in what he saw. And that was why he was dreading his inevitable date with Hinata. He had no doubt that he could convince her to settle for something a bit more private, but that wasn't how he wanted to go about it. He never half-assed anything, so if he was going to take her out, no expense would be spared. Same with Kurohane, if she wanted the whole "normal couple" routine.

The question was: how could Naruto go about it without the citizens of Konoha ruining the experience?

"If that's what you want." Naruto finally spoke after few more seconds of deliberation. "But I'm warning you right now, I have no idea what I'm doing."

Kurohane only smiled giddily. "Neither do I! It'll be a learning experience for both of us!"

"Oh, goody." Naruto deadpanned. Getting those all but nonexistent social skills of his up to snuff had just jumped up a few spots on his list of priorities.

"Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit." Kurohane said, quoting a phrase she had heard...somewhere.

"Yet it's the one that most often goes right over peoples' heads." Naruto countered.

Instead of replying, the Raven Princess suddenly sniffed the air.

"Do you smell chocolate?"

"No." Naruto's right eyebrow twitched, but it went unnoticed.

"Really? 'Cause I definitely do. It's making me kinda hungry, actually." Kurohane said as she continued sniffing, trying to find the source of the delectable aroma.

"It's just your imagination."

"Why would I be imagining chocolate? Especially this early in the morning?"

"I don't know, you tell me."

"...It's you."

"Beg your pardon?"

"It's you. You smell like chocolate. A lot of it." Kurohane leaned close and took in a deep breath. "What'd you do, bathe in cocoa mix?" she giggled.

"I think I'd know if I smelled like chocolate."

"But you do know." Kurohane flicked Naruto's nose lightly. "I think you've forgotten that I can see your face. Your right eye is just twitching away. Must be a pretty embarrassing story."

"...Ask Zabuza. I'm sure he's told everyone else by now." Naruto grumbled.

(Meanwhile)

Upstairs in the apartment living room, Zabuza sneezed.

'Huh, I wonder if someone's talking about me?' he then shrugged and returned his attention to his audience. "So anyway, I took a couple steps to the side, knowing something bad was about to happen. But Naruto was none the wiser. That is, until he heard the hinges on the oven door squeak. He turned around and BAM! Face full of molten fudge!"

(With Naruto & Kurohane)

"Oh, this should be good." Kurohane laughed as she finally stood up.

Naruto did the same and started dusting off his pants; it had been a while since the Movie Room had been cleaned. As he did this, he noticed that the projector was still playing the video of his latest and greatest pranking spree. But it was now on a clip that had Naruto scratching his head.

He didn't really remember doing anything to Hinata specifically, but at least one clone saw fit to record her inside her room. It all came rushing back when Hinata let out an "eep" upon finding her, ahem, _toy_ lodged in the wall next to her bed. Tame compared to everything else he had done, but her reaction would still provide a good show.

And it did...Just not the kind Naruto had expected. Upon finding the lingerie, Hinata's face turned a shade of red so bright that it almost seemed to give off a glow. But, instead of freaking out, she actually picked up one of the risqué articles of clothing, a lacy powder-blue bra, and put it up to her chest. Impossibly, her face seemed to get even redder when she discovered that the bra was in her size, and there was a matching thong.

"I never pegged your clones as voyeurs..." Kurohane remarked, giving Naruto a somewhat perturbed look.

"They're not; this was supposed to be part of the prank." Naruto replied. "I figured she would faint, or something."

Before Kurohane could say anything else, Hinata threw yet another curveball. Activating her Byakugan, the girl looked around. She seemed to pause when her gaze swept across the clone's position, but both Naruto and Kurohane dismissed it as just their imagination. Then she started to undress.

"Okay, this is getting out of hand!" Kurohane all but screamed as she dashed over to the projector to turn it off.

She managed to find the power button, but not before Hinata turned her back to the clone, looked over her shoulder and winked right at the camera. The projector was turned off just as the girl undid the clasp of her black bra.

"...Didn't see that one coming." Naruto commented.

"That brazen little hussy!" Kurohane fumed.

"Now, now, be nice." Naruto chided lightly, obviously amused by his Familiar/Girlfriend's angry mutterings. "If it makes you feel any better, you put on quite a show yourself in the shower."

In the blink of an eye, Kurohane called forth her scythe and took a swing at Naruto with the side opposite the blade. But in that same blink, he was already gone, leaving the leather-clad Familiar to hit nothing but air.

Sure, it was no Shinsoku, but Naruto was still damn fast.

Seconds later, a clone peeked its head through the door and knocked on the frame to announce his presence.

"Excuse me, Kurohane-san, the Boss has requested you topside, ASAP...You're going to hit me now, aren't you?" the clone let out a resigned sigh. Just because they didn't feel pain didn't mean that they liked getting beaten, mauled and/or blown up on a regular basis.

Kurohane's answer came in the form of a swift boot to the head.

(Training Ground Twelve)

"Looks like I'm the first one here." Hinata said as she looked around the field. Kurenai had told her that she was holding a team meeting here, but the rest of the team was nowhere to be found. "I must have misremembered the time." she mumbled and looked at her watch. "9:44...I don't think we've ever met up this late before."

Normally, Kurenai had them meet no later than 8:00am, sometimes even before the sun was up. Hinata was usually up by then anyway, and she wasn't entirely sure that Shino ever slept. But Team Eight could always count on Kiba to complain about having to get up and train at whatever "ungodly hour" their sensei had decided upon. But it looked like he'd have nothing to complain about today.

Hinata found a nice, shady spot under a tree and sat down on the soft grass. The weather was fantastic; bright and sunny, a nice sixty-eight degrees and a very light Northwesterly wind. But even in the relaxing atmosphere, it didn't take long for Hinata to become restless and uncomfortable.

This wasn't something new, either. Ever since the day Hinata woken up in the hospital after being killed and revived, she'd had...issues with shadows and darkness. Hinata didn't really know how to describe the feeling. She wasn't afraid of the dark, but more like...annoyed with it. The girl had never exactly been fond of the dark, but now she just plain didn't like it. It had even gotten to the point where she could barely get to sleep in her own room if the lights were off. But she never let anyone know, as it would just be one more thing to add to the list of reasons she wasn't cut out to be a ninja. The last thing she needed was for her family to further ridicule and mock her for needing a nightlight.

So, as usual, Hinata chose to suffer in silence, not knowing what was going on or why. But trust Naruto to come through with the answers she needed! His clones had informed her of the fact that she had an affinity for Light, something she wasn't even aware was an element. Once that tidbit of info was revealed to her, things started falling into place for Hinata. By definition, darkness was the absence of light. So, being in darkness with a Light affinity must have been something akin to accidentally walking into the den of a predatory animal. Even if you didn't know exactly where you were, you instinctively knew that you weren't supposed to be there.

But that didn't make it any less irritating and inconvenient. Hiding in the shadows was a more-than-significant part of what being a ninja was all about. She already lacked the ruthless edge, fearlessness and unwavering resolve that were the trademarks of all good shinobi and kunoichi, so this was just the "cherry on top of the shit-sundae", as she'd heard Kiba say a few times.

Fortunately, Naruto's clones provided a solution to the problem. Unfortunately, though it was about as simple as could be, it was still easier said than done. The clone Hinata had talked to had told her to simply ignore the feelings. In its words: "Even though it's always a good thing to heed your instincts, being a ninja also requires that you ignore them a lot. For example, the instinct of self-preservation. Were you to heed it all the time, you'd never get anything done. You wouldn't infiltrate a heavily-guarded facility. You wouldn't engage enemy shinobi. And you most certainly wouldn't train with the likes of the Boss and Anko-san. In fact, self-preservation would have you avoid the job of a ninja altogether. Yes, it's true that death can and will come for anyone, anywhere at anytime. But to choose the path of the ninja is to willingly invite the Shinigami in. But you did it anyway. It doesn't matter if you were pressured into it by your family's expectations, you still went against the instinct of self-preservation by working for and accepting your forehead protector. So you shouldn't have any problem telling that little voice in the back of your mind to shut the hell up so you can get some sleep."

Hinata had taken the advice, and it had worked, if only for individual situations. But she was okay with that. To her, this was just one more thing trying to control her life. One more obstacle to overcome in order to truly be her own person.

But, right now it was more trouble that it was worth. She saw no point in stressing herself out before the day even started. So, with a resigned sigh, Hinata stood up and walked into the direct sunlight, instantly feeling more relaxed and content. Walking over to the average-sized pond at the Western edge of the training ground, Hinata placed on foot on the surface. As expected, it didn't hold. She wouldn't be able to enjoy her hobby of water-skating today.

So, with nothing else to do, she plopped down on the grass at the edge of the pond and let her mind wander. And it didn't take long for it to dredge up memories of what had happened when she returned to her home after it was confirmed that she was suffering no ill effects from the transformation. Beyond the virtual inability to use chakra, which the clones assured her would pass within a week or two.

(Flashback)

Hinata was not looking forward to this.

She knew that, as soon as she stepped onto the Hyūga grounds, she would be "escorted" to her father to be grilled mercilessly. It wouldn't go well at all. It wouldn't be the typical scolding a parent gave to a child; the kind filled with equal parts fury and concern. At best, Hinata expected the sort of cold, detached anger from her father. He would not rant and rave about how worried he was, and what could have befallen his little girl while she was out on her lonesome. Instead, he would chastise her for getting lost in the Forest of Death; Hyūga weren't supposed to get lost. Ever. And of course, he'd lecture her about missing out on training. This would no doubt include a borderline mocking comment about how much Hanabi had improved in her sister's absence, as if a couple days actually made that much of a difference. And if Kurenai had told him where she had been, the Hyūga Clanhead would undoubtedly have something to say about that as well.

And it would only get worse when he finally asked why she had disappeared. Of course, Hinata would have to lie. Not only for the obvious reasons, be also because the truth was so preposterous that her father would never believe her.

But there was at least one ray of sunshine from her point of view. Naruto's clones had helped her concoct a story to explain her wildly fluctuating chakra, and the foreign energy that any Hyūga would be able to see with their Byakugan. As it turned out, her affliction was strikingly similar to the symptoms of a condition known as "chakra poisoning".

Upon reaching the gates, Hinata took a deep breath and steeled her resolve. Nodding at the two guards, she stepped through the gates and into the compound proper. A second later, she felt a fairly large hand clamp down on her left shoulder and the ground suddenly disappeared beneath her. Her environment became a multi-colored blur that seemed to close in around her, forming an otherworldly tunnel.

Then, just as quickly as it had begun, it was over. The world came back into focus and Hinata a solid surface under her feet. She stumbled a bit, but managed to stay upright as she tried to overcome the dizziness and disorientation. After a few seconds, she was coherent enough to recognize that she was in her father's personal quarters.

"What do you have to say for yourself?" came the voice that Hinata had been dreading.

"W-What?" Hinata shakily turned to face her father, who was sitting seiza-style on a zabuton cushion.

"You have brought no small amount of shame to the family by getting yourself lost. In the Forest of Death, of all places." a look of genuine concerned flashed across Hiashi's eyes, quick as a blink. "Luckily, your sensei told me of your...whereabouts before I was forced to make the guards waste time looking for you. And, of course, there's the _three days_ of training you've missed out on, both here and with your team." Hiashi shook his head. "With such a poor work ethic, it's no wonder Hanabi is so far ahead of you."

Hinata held back a derisive snort. It had been a month since Hanabi had beaten her in a spar. In fact, in the last three sessions, the girl hadn't even managed to land a single hit on her older sister. Their father hadn't been present for those fights, but neither thought for a second that he didn't know about them.

"I'm sorry, Otou-sama." Hinata replied, doing her best not to fidget under her father's harsh, judgmental gaze. She failed. He was even angrier than she thought he would be; so much so that he had forgotten to tell her to take off her sandals.

"Hmph." Hiashi snorted and took a sip of the lukewarm jasmine tea sitting on the rectangular chabudai table in front of him. "I was told the reasons of your _absence_, and quite frankly, they're hard to believe. So I want to hear it from you." Hiashi knew a lot more about his daughter than most suspected, including the fact that she couldn't lie to save her life. Even going back to her early childhood, she had so many "tells" that it was impossible for her to sell even the most logical and convincing of fibs.

Fortunately for Hinata, she wasn't that same little girl anymore.

"Well, you know that, in addition to Kurenai-sensei, I'm also training under Tokubetsu Jōnin, Mitarashi Anko, and fellow Genin, Namikaze Naruto." Hinata had expected some kind of mocking remark from her father. So when he nearly choked on his tea, she was understandably surprised.

"I have been told as much, yes..." Hiashi said as he got his coughing under control.

Personally, he had nothing against the boy at all; aside from the pranks he'd pulled on the clan years ago. But he had some less-than-fond memories of the Namikaze Clan. To this day, the mere mention of their name chilled him to the bone. He had heard only rumors that Naruto had claimed the name that his father had forsaken, but this was confirmation. Hopefully, it was just a big "middle finger" to the memory of the Yondaime Hokage. But if the boy adopted the clan's ideals as well...

"...For the sake of preparing me for the 'real world', as they call it, they implement more real world scenarios into my training. One of these is the random attack or ambush, the logic being that an enemy wouldn't give me any warning, so they won't either." Hinata paused to gauge her father's reaction. Though few others would be able to tell, Hiashi looked as though he approved of the somewhat unorthodox training method. "During my last mission, I chased my target, Tora the cat, into the Forest of Death..." she trailed off as her cheeks flushed with embarrassment. Saying it out loud really brought home how stupid a move it was.

"The logic behind that being...?"

"...Completing the mission?" Hinata ventured.

"But you didn't. I believe it was an ANBU squad that brought the...cat in." Hiashi hesitated to call that..._thing_ a feline. He had experience with it from back in his own Genin days; some thirty years ago. How it could possibly be the same creature, Hiashi didn't know, but he didn't doubt that it was. The damned thing seemed to be immortal.

It had been about a week after he'd made Chūnin that the blasted animal attacked him, probably mistaking him for a member of a retrieval party. Just before it leapt out of the tree, Hiashi had sensed something resembling killing intent and activated his Byakugan. What he saw behind him was NOT a cat, or any other kind of normal animal. It had a strange form of chakra; black as the night sky, with a malignant feel to it. And there was a disproportionate amount of it, too. On instinct, he performed the Kaiten, repelling the creature with such force that it all but splattered against the truck of the tree it had jumped out of. With its eyes wide open and clouded over, its head and limbs laying at unnatural angles, and blood streaming from its mouth and nose, the thing had obviously been dead; every bone in its little body likely shattered to pieces. Of course, he never reported it, opting to get while the going was good and let some other poor bastard take the fall for it.

Yet not even a full week later, he saw the beast, alive and well, running down the street with a team of Genin hot on its tail. Though he never told anyone else about it, to this day Hiashi swore that, as it passed him, the cat looked directly at him and _smiled_.

"I...I lost track of the target."

"And your location."

"...Yes, and my location." Hinata sighed. "Soon after, I was attacked by Naruto-sensei. I tried to fight back, but I was almost immediately overwhelmed."

"The proper course of action would have been to outmaneuver the assailant and retreat." Hiashi criticized. They were ninja, not samurai; they weren't obligated to stand their ground against all foes and fight to the death.

Hinata's hands briefly clenched into fists at her sides. As usual, nothing was ever good enough for dear ol' Dad.

"'Retreat'? 'Outmaneuver'? Do you remember who we're talking about? He's stronger, faster, smarter and more agile than me. Not to mention he knew the lay of the land far better than I did; I was already lost as it was. The only thing turning tail and running would've done was expose my back to him for an easy kill."

It took a full three seconds for the words Hinata had spoken, and who she had spoken them to, to register in her mind. Once it did, her eyes widened and her mouth opened for an automatic apology. However, her body seemed to refuse to allow her to utter a plea for forgiveness, as her throat tightened almost painfully, resulting in a strange mewling noise.

Hiashi rose an eyebrow at that. Hinata never talked back to him. Or anyone else, for that matter. Ever. She even backed down to Branch Family maids!

"A fair point. Continue." Hiashi conceded.

Hinata could only blink and stare at her father dumbly. In the back of her mind, she knew that there was no way he could've refuted her statements, but she still hadn't expected that to stop him from trying to shoot her down.

From there, Hinata told her father the strange, fantastical, yet plausible tale that Naruto's clones had woven. She was indescribably grateful to both Naruto and Anko for teaching her how to properly speak to superiors. It allowed her to look her father right in the eyes, and tell him half-truths and whole lies without so much as batting an eyelash.

Well, she was actually focusing on his nose. Not that he would be able to tell with the distance between them.

As ridiculous as it all sounded, Hiashi didn't have the slightest notion that it was at all untrue. Afterall, his daughter might as well have been physically incapable of lying to him.

"I trust you will be able to resume your _real_ training." the Hyūga Clanhead said.

"I..." Hinata's face was a mask of confusion as her body slumped and began to tremble, as if straining under some huge weight. Soon, her eyelids began to droop and she started to sway back and forth in a futile attempt to keep her balance. Within seconds, she collapsed, just barely managing to keep her face from smashing into the hardwood flooring.

The clones had warned her of this. Along with the chakra fluctuations, she would suffer from bouts of extreme exhaustion.

'Damn...They said it would be sudden, but they didn't say it would hit like a freight train!' Hinata thought, panting as if she'd just run a few dozen laps around Konoha.

In an instant, Hiashi was standing at her side. He recognized the symptoms, but activated his Byakugan for confirmation. Sure enough, his daughter's chakra pathways were nearly barren, which the vast majority of her energy concentrated in her core. He looked on as something foreign, a chakra in a much darker shade of blue, seemed to be fighting the normal energy. Hinata's chakra coiled around the intruder like a serpent, refusing to let go. Whenever the other chakra managed to overpower it, another coil was thrown around it, keeping up the pressure; keeping it contained.

"Chakra poisoning." Hiashi muttered to himself. "You said that...the boy forcibly drained your chakra into a battery in order to exhaust your reserves and break the Henge, correct?"

Hinata tried to speak, but her mouth wouldn't work. She could barely muster up the effort for a small nod.

"Was he touching you when it happened?"

"O...Only...at the end...He...had...to pull...me off...the battery..." the poor girl was just barely hanging on. She didn't even think it was possible to be this tired.

"Hm. Well, in that brief moment of contact, it looks like you completed a circuit between him and the battery, allowing it to drain some of his chakra as well. But, before it could go into the battery, you were pulled back, meaning that chakra stayed in you." Hiashi was more thinking out loud than anything, as he knew his daughter was in no condition to comprehend anything he'd just said.

The Hyūga Clanhead was somewhat familiar with the phenomenon. He didn't know if it was still practiced today, but back in his day chakra batteries were sometimes used by medics to nullify the effects of techniques, usually advanced Genjutsu, that "hijacked" the victim's chakra to sustain itself, even if the caster was dead. One of the dangers was indirect siphoning, in which the battery would drain the chakra of not only the intended person, but also anyone in physical contact with him/her at the time. And almost every time it happened, the patient ended up suffering from chakra poisoning due to a nurse or doctor's chakra being left over in his/her system.

Fortunately, Hinata was only suffering from a relatively minor case. During the last war, Hiashi had seen some severe and intentional chakra poisoning that resulted in large, bone-deep wounds all over their bodies as the foreign energy was violently expelled through the tenketsu. He had even seen an Uchiha's eyes literally explode in his skull when he'd tried to use his Sharingan after having his body pumped full of an enemy's chakra.

Though Naruto was, technically, the one to blame here, Hiashi's rational mind wouldn't let him get mad at the boy. If anything, he was thankful that his daughter didn't come home as the world's most disturbingly adorable tarantula.(4)

He was about to call for a servant to take Hinata to her room, but stopped when she began to stir. Taking a look at her chakra coils, the foreign chakra had been suppressed, for now, and the girl's normal energy was spreading out to the rest of her body.

Hinata slowly got to her hands and knees, feeling her strength returning. She still felt drowsy and sluggish, but at least her limbs didn't feel like lead weights anymore. Upon getting to her feet, she wobbled and nearly went down again, if not for the steadying hands on her shoulders. Looking up at her father, she again saw the look of genuine concern that she had imagined earlier.

'...I must be even more out of it than I feel like.' Hinata thought.

"Hmph, I suppose we'll have to postpone your training until your condition improves." Hiashi said as he took his hands away quickly, his expression set firmly in a disappointed scowl. "Will you need an escort to your room?"

"No...No, I can manage." Hinata said, bowing to her father before leaving the room.

"Sandals." she heard just before closing the door.

(End Flashback)

Not long after that, Hinata had been intercepted by her younger sister, who pestered her about the training she was getting from Naruto and Anko. It seemed as though Hanabi didn't much care about the tradition of keeping things within the clan. She just had an insatiable drive to be better. And if what Hinata was learning was, apparently, better than what the clan was doing, Hanabi wanted in.

Hinata's answer was the same as every other time: she was still learning herself, and thus was in no position to teach. Plus, Hanabi was the pride and joy of the Hyūga clan, while Hinata was the failure. Hinata got away with learning outside the clan partly because it was inevitable as she was part of a Genin team, but mostly because no one cared about what she did. Not her father, and not the clan Elders.

Hanabi didn't have that "luxury". She and Neji were the most talented Hyūga of the new generation, and were regarded as the future of the clan. So if Hanabi suddenly started using non-Gentle Fist moves, everyone would take notice, and everyone would be outraged. Outraged at Hinata, the one old enough to know better; not Hanabi, the impressionable youngster.

Her sister had been relatively easy to deal with, and the conversation with her father had gone far better than she ever expected. But it was what happened before she made it to her room to rest that made Hinata smile as she remembered it.

(Flashback)

Hinata walked listlessly down the maze-like halls of her home, navigating purely by instinct. Her chakra was steadily being restored, but she was still tired almost to the point of deliriousness. Strange thoughts and questions invaded her mind. Things like, "Who invented the question mark?". But weird musings weren't the only things she was prone to in this state. As tired as she was, she just wanted to go to bed, and it was a sure bet that anyone or anything that tried to stand between her and said bed would be getting acquainted with her dark side.

'...I'll bet the person who invented the tree-walking exercise did it so they wouldn't have to get out a ladder to clean the gutters.' Hinata thought, only to be jolted from her odd inner monologue by something roughly slamming into her left shoulder.

Neji Hyūga was not a happy camper. Not that he ever was, but today he was in an especially rare mood. He was just half an hour removed from a "spar" with Hanabi, the third one in as many days. Normally, he'd revel in the opportunity to not only show off his skill, but to lay down a beating on one of the entitled little princesses of the main family. But he quickly found out firsthand just how much the clan valued Hanabi over her older sister.

Neji was basically free to wail away on Hinata to his heart's content, as long as he didn't cripple/kill her, or hit her in the face. But with Hanabi, he wasn't even allowed to touch her. He was basically reduced to a living training dummy, and it infuriated him to no end. It was the perfect representation of the dynamic between the main and branch family. The main house was free to do as they pleased, while the branch members had to grit their teeth and bear it.

As he turned the corner, the teen couldn't help but grin as he spied the one he blamed wholeheartedly for, well, everything that was wrong with his life. The entire reason he was forced to be Hanabi's punching bag was because Hinata had gone AWOL during a mission three days ago and hadn't been back since. And now, here she was, distracted and apparently exhausted. Nice and vulnerable.

Moving with a purpose, Neji walked down the hall with measured steps, trying to look like he wasn't up to something. Then, just as they were about to pass one another, he darted to the side and rammed his left shoulder against hers.

As soon as their bodies came into contact, Neji felt that something was wrong. That shunt had been intended to completely bowl the petite girl over, and the force he'd put behind it reflected that. But the results didn't; Hinata barely even stumbled. In fact, caught off guard by the unexpected resistance, Neji himself would've fallen over if not for some quick footwork.

"Hey, watch where you're going!" Neji growled, writing off the occurrence as a fluke. He would have continued, but his throat tightened up at the sight that greeted him now.

Hinata was giving him the most malignant look he'd ever seen in his life. A glare so packed with rage, hatred and all manner of malicious intent, that it made the Hyūga prodigy take an involuntary step back. It was the kind of thing you'd expect from a women facing down the person who'd killed her children. And though it was doing a damn good job of holding Neji off, in the back of his mind he recognized something else. There was an invitation in those eyes. They were _pleading_ with him, _begging_ him to make a move; to give her a reason to rip him apart right then and there.

And then, she flashed him a smile. Sweet as cyanide.

"Forgive me, Neji-_kun_, I'm not feeling too well. Mild chakra poisoning." Hinata smile widened a bit as she closed her eyes, allowing Neji to release a breath he didn't know he'd been holding. "But you must have been distracted if you didn't notice me. Something on your mind?"

"N-No, Hinata-sama...Hanabi-sama got in a good kick during our spar...I-I'm still a little dizzy..." he was lying through his teeth. Though he amounted to little more than a training dummy, Neji was NOT obligated to literally stand there and let Hanabi hit him.

"Oh? Well, you have my sympathy; I know what that feels like." Hinata knew he was lying. Not only because of Neji's own tells, but because Hanabi would most certainly have bragged about it if she had indeed hit him.

Neji coughed into his fist, subconsciously shifting his weight from foot to foot. That glare had triggered his fight-or-flight instincts, and if she made any sudden movements, it was a toss-up as to whether he'd hit her or hightail it.

Hinata just barely suppressed a smile when she saw Neji flinch as she lifted her right hand to lightly scratch her ear. The big, bad Hyūga prodigy was squirming around like a little boy, unable to even maintain eye-contact with her.

'I could get used to this.' Hinata thought with a mental grin. "Well, I should be getting to bed." she yawned. "When I'm feeling better, perhaps we can have a little spar of our own?"

"..." Neji didn't know how to respond to that. Hinata never willingly initiated a challenge. Ever.

"Come on, I promise I'll go easy on you!" Hinata said with a wink.

Obviously, she was joking. And, for reasons Neji couldn't explain, that fact brought on a sense of dread that settled in his gut like a solid chunk of ice.

(End Flashback)

If anyone had been around to see the downright diabolical grin on Hinata's face at the moment, they likely would've called her an imposter. There was no way sweet, polite, innocent little Hinata Hyūga could look so...evil.

Luckily, she had enough time to adopt a more characteristic expression before her teammates arrived.

"Hinata!" the girl looked over her shoulder to see her two teammates coming up on the trail leading to the training ground. They were still a ways off, little more than tiny, vaguely human-shaped blobs of gray and off-white to her eyes.

As she waved at them, Hinata was kicking herself on the inside. Somewhere along the way, she had forgotten that her teammates actually cared about her. She had completely overlooked them and never took their possible reactions into account.

'Hopefully, Kurenai-sensei told them what happened. That should keep Kiba-kun from freaking out too much...' Hinata thought as she saw the Inuzuka barreling towards her in a dead sprint, leaving both Akamaru and Shino, quite literally, in the dust.

Hinata herself got a little dust-bath as Kiba skidded to a stop in front of her, throwing up another cloud of dirt particles.

"Hinata!"

"Kiba-kun..." the heiress responded, fighting the urge to scold her brash teammate. 'He's just worried about me, that's all.'

"Kiba-san, would you please refrain from harassing our teammate?" Shino said, seemingly appearing out of thin air just as Kiba began buzzing around Hinata like a persistent hornet.

"I'm just checking for injuries!" Kiba replied defensively.

The moment he'd heard that Hinata was out of action due to a training accident with Naruto, he had immediately assumed the worst. It was hard not to when he, as well as the rest of his team, had witnessed firsthand what the masked boy was capable of. For the past four days, Kiba had actually lost sleep over it. He had nightmares about Hinata laying in a hospital room with missing limbs, broken bones and/or ruptured organs. Knowing that she was supposedly alive was little consolation; especially when no one would give him a straight answer in regards to her exact whereabouts and condition.

"That doesn't change the fact that what you're doing is irritating Hinata-san." Shino tilted his head slightly, causing his sunglasses to flash in the sunlight. "Not to mention, it is most illogical. Hinata-san's medical skills far surpass yours and my own; if she was injured, she would know, and would not be here if she felt she wasn't fit for duty."

Kiba gave his male teammate a withering look. A month ago, he would've tried to challenge Shino, if only to get the last word in. But nowadays he realized that it was useless.

"Um...That's not exactly true..." the two jacket-wearing Genin turned to Hinata to find her in a familiar state, yet one they hadn't seen in quite some time. Eyes towards the ground, index fingers poking together, weight shifting nervously from foot to foot; this was a bit of "Classic Hinata".

"_Are_ you injured?" Shino asked, ignoring Kiba's triumphant smirk.

"Well, no, not really...You see, something very _strange_ happened to me during a training incident with Naruto-sensei. For the last four days, I've been with him, trying to figure out a way to reverse it. We found a way, as you can see, but because of one of the inherent dangers of the method we used, some of his chakra was absorbed into my system." Hinata could tell just by the look on Kiba's face that she had lost him, and she had expected as much. But if anyone was going to be able to poke holes in her story, it was Shino.

Fortunately, luck was on Hinata's side once again.

"Chakra poisoning." Shino said with a small nod of understanding.

"Chakra what-ing?" Kiba scratched his head in confusion.

"Chakra _poisoning_. Our chakra pathways are often referred to as secondary circulatory systems, but that's not where the similarities between chakra and blood end." Shino looked at Kiba, noting his brow furrowed in concentration, and decided to just keep the explanation short and to-the-point. "Think of a blood transfusion. When there are enough similarities, type matches and so on, the patient's body accepts the donor's blood without incident. But when things don't match up, the patient's immune system treats the donor blood as a harmful foreign body, like a virus, and attacks the cells. This causes a chain reaction that can lead to the patient's death. In the same way, if a foreign chakra enters your system, and doesn't match closely enough to your own, your chakra pathways also have an 'immune system' that will attempt to fight it off. While this is happening, using chakra, while not impossible, is certainly ill-advised." Shino finished.(5)

"As Naruto-sensei put it, if I tried to use my Byakugan right now, I could risk having my eyes explode." Hinata chimed in.

Kiba grimaced at the thought. "Well...That's news to me."

"This was all covered in the Academy, Kiba-san."

"Really? Huh, must have been asleep that day." the Inuzuka shrugged.

"As I recall, you skipped class that day, along with Nara Shikamaru and Akimichi Chouji."

"…Do you have a photographic memory, or something?"Kiba asked as he began to sweat. He had done some very embarrassing things as a child, a lot of which he knew Shino had witnessed. And if the Aburame could remember them clearly...

"Eidetic memory. And yes, I do." Shino replied, sending Kiba a poignant look, which caused the boy to turn away and shuffle uncomfortably. "Hinata-san, if you are suffering from such a condition, you really should be resting."

"It's just a minor case."

"But even minor cases have dangerous symptoms." only Shino kept his composure when Kurenai suddenly appeared behind Hinata. "Such as being unable to sense chakra."

"Indeed." Shino nodded. "I suspect Kurenai-sensei was here even before you, Hinata-san, hidden by a Genjutsu. Normally, you are the best of us all in detecting the signs of an illusion, but you never noticed this one."

"He's right, I was here some ten minutes before you."

"What?! But I didn't smell anything!" Kiba exclaimed. While he'd admit he wasn't much good at detecting Genjutsu themselves, he, like all Inuzuka, prided himself on being able to sniff out the casters. He could ignore what his other senses told him, and use his nose to lead him to victory.

"The new antiperspirant you have taken to using is quite strong, and I suspect it is interfering with your sense of smell." Shino sent Kiba a brief glare. "It's doing the same to my insects."

"Oh, please. I smell awesome and you know it! Right, Akamaru?" Kiba looked down, only to find his constant companion wasn't by his side. "Akamaru?" looking back, he saw the puppy hunkered down on the ground about fifty feet away from the group. "What's wrong, boy?" Kiba asked as he kneeled down beside the Ninken.

Akamaru's reply came in the form of a low whimper and an almost imperceptible nod towards Hinata.

Said girl just barely kept herself from freaking out, and luckily no one noticed the almost comical widening of her eyes.

'I...I understood that!' Hinata thought, on the verge of hyperventilating.

Naruto's clones had told her that the activation of her demonic blood would result in numerous physical enhancements, including her natural senses. So she wasn't really surprised when she was able to hear Akamaru clearly at such a distance. What did surprise her was the fact that her brain had somehow taken the sound, deciphered its meaning, allowing her to make a rough translation of it: "Something's wrong with her".

"It's just a bit of chakra poisoning; no big deal...Right?" Kiba turned to his sensei for confirmation.

"Not as big as it could be, but it's still not something to mess around with." Kurenai answered, glancing at Hinata and taking note of her stiff posture and tensed muscles.

Akamaru whimpered again, a bit louder this time.

'..."She smells like him"...' Hinata's brain once again provided an automatic translation. This was scaring her; Naruto's clones never mentioned anything about being able to understand animal-speak!

"What do you...Oh, right, some of Naruto's chakra got into her coils; that's what you're smelling right now." Kiba assured his four-legged friend.

Akamaru seemed to take his master's word for it, following him back to rejoin the team. But Hinata noticed that he was still keeping his distance from her.

Of course, Kurenai and Shino noticed as well, but only Shino had any idea as to the true cause of Akamaru's fear and trepidation. His insects were getting some very strange "vibes" from the girl, and he knew it went beyond her just having some of Naruto's chakra inside her.

Kurenai simply took the situation at face value. It was a known fact that Naruto terrified animals just as much as people, likely moreso.

"Well, regardless of it 'only' being a minor case of chakra poisoning, as your Jōnin sensei, I can't allow you to participate in team exercises for the time being." the red-eyed kunoichi said, her tone leaving no room for argument.

"I know, I just felt I owed it to you all to at least tell you in person." Hinata said, letting out a sigh afterward. "I guess I should be getting back. Permission to leave, Kurenai-sensei?"

"Gran-" Kurenai was cutoff by Shino, of all people.

"Wait, sensei. Perhaps Hinata-san can stay with us as an observer? Just because she can't participate doesn't mean she can't still learn." the Aburame looked to Kiba. "In addition, her tips and pointers have been of great help to Kiba-san. Right?"

Kiba's right eyebrow began to twitch. Shino was putting him on the spot! He had no choice but to swallow his pride and admit that he might need assistance, or risk hurting Hinata's feelings. 'What did I do to you, man?!' Kiba thought as he narrowed his eyes ever so slightly at his male teammate.

"Yeah...Without her, I'd be pretty far behind." Kiba half mumbled, bowing his head a little so the shadow of his fur-lined hood would hide the pink-ish tone his cheeks had taken on.

At least it wasn't a lie; Hinata really had been an invaluable training partner. She was always willing to explain things, and never made fun of him for not knowing something that was supposed to be common knowledge. Her "lessons" were simple and straightforward, and she never made Kiba feel like he was being talked down to. It was a welcome change from his usual "tutor", his sister Hana, who seemed to go out of her way to make her little brother feel stupid.

Kurenai, of course, knew exactly what her students were up to. She, too, had noticed the change in Hinata's expression, body language and overall demeanor; the last thing the girl wanted was to go home.

"I suppose that wouldn't be a problem." Kurenai turned to Hinata. "Unless of course your _father_ has you on some kind of curfew?"

"If he does, I wasn't told about it." Hinata replied. Hiashi had been in a meeting when she woke up, so she hadn't seen hide nor hair of him before leaving the compound.

"Well then, I suppose we should get started. Just make sure to stay on your toes, Hinata. You'd be surprised at how many Genin are seriously injured, or even killed, by accidents in training they weren't even involved in."

"Understood, sensei!" Hinata chirped, her mood doing a complete one-eighty.

"So, what's on the schedule for today?" Kiba asked.

"There's a rumor going around amongst the village ninjas that the Chūnin Exams will be coming up soon. It was supposed to have happened this month, but it was postponed due to...'issues' with a number of participating countries. The rumor says that it's back on, but the details are sketchy at best. Now, I'm normally not one to put stock in unsubstantiated rumors, but I didn't see the harm in stepping up your training, just in case." Kurenai informed her students.

"S-Stepping up?" Kiba gulped. Kurenai's training was already more taxing and painful than anything he'd been through before, so he did NOT like the sound of that.

"That was the plan. But with Hinata in such a state, that wouldn't have been fair to her, so I was going to give you and Shino a bit of a break." the right corner of Kurenai's mouth twitched upward when Kiba let out a sigh of relief.

But Shino wasn't fooled. "You said 'was'..."

"Indeed I did. You said it yourself, Shino; just because she can't participate doesn't mean she can't still learn something. So, I'm going to stick to the original plan and ramp things up!" Kurenai flashed them a sickeningly sweet smile.

Kiba's jaw worked up and down, but no sound came out. All the same, it wasn't like he could refuse anyway. So, he settled for leveling a hard glare on Shino, who just looked back and responded with a shrug.

(Two Hours Later)

"I actually think that was quite productive." Shino said as he picked himself up off the ground and dusted his clothes off.

"...Shino, you're my teammate and my best friend..." Kiba replied, opting to stay sprawled out face-down on the ground. " But if you say another word, I'm going to tear your face off...then put it back on with a stapler."

"...That would require a level of precision and finesse that you simply don't have, Kiba-san."

For a full ten seconds, there was no response from the prone boy; not even so much as a growl. Then, using what little energy he had left, Kiba suddenly shot up off the ground and lunged, claws out and fangs bared.

Caught completely off-guard, Shino had the wind knocked out of him courtesy of a shoulder to the gut, and was easily knocked off his feet. Or, at least that's what it looked like at first. But, before they even hit the ground, "Shino" dispersed into a thick cloud of insects, leaving Kiba to hit the dirt alone.

"That was uncalled for." Shino remarked, appearing next to Hinata, who, despite her best efforts, couldn't help but giggle at her friend's misfortune.

It took another five minutes for Kiba to gather the strength to stand up, wincing as his joints popped and cracked painfully. His muscles screamed in protest, demanding that he keep still. But he wasn't Shikamaru; he couldn't just lay on the ground watching the clouds go by and napping the day away. No matter how exhausted he was.

And he was plenty exhausted. When Kurenai said she was "ramping up" their training, it had been a gross understatement, in Kiba's opinion. She seemed to have been particularly harsh on the Inuzuka heir, which may have had something to do with the fact that he was the only one who saw fit to voice his displeasure. Constantly.

"Anyone up for some lunch?" Kiba asked, stretching out his body and ignoring the pain it caused.

"Sure." Shino nodded.

"Do you have anything in mind?" Hinata questioned.

"Honestly, I don't really care; so long as it has an assload of carbs."

"How about ramen?" Hinata suggested, remembering a time years ago when her father had chewed her out for eating at a ramen stand. Most of his rant had gone right over her head at the time, but she did remember him saying that ramen was nothing but a bowl of carbohydrates and sodium.

(Ichiraku's Ramen)

Hinata couldn't help but smile as the chef's daughter, Ayame, set down a piping-hot bowl of pork ramen down in front of her.

'I wonder if she remembers us...' she thought, glancing over to Shino, who quietly slurped up his noodles.

In contrast, Kiba was wolfing down his food at an almost frightening rate. So absorbed was he in filling his stomach, that he didn't even notice Akamaru pilfering dog treats out of his jacket pockets.

The sight brought on a powerful feeling of nostalgia for Hinata. In her mind's eye, she saw both of her teammates de-age until they were no more than seven years old. Shino's jacket now had a large hood on it, which he had pulled up to use as a shield against flying ramen particles from the third party's messy eating. However, this third party wasn't Kiba, not anymore. He was a child with bright blonde hair, deep blue eyes and whisker-like marks on his cheeks that just seemed too cute to be real.

This was the Naruto they had befriended. Happy, smiling and always good for a laugh in one way or another. Neither had any idea what had happened to him that caused him to change so dramatically overnight, but when they visited Ichiraku's, they were guaranteed a glimpse at the "old" Naruto.

As the images faded and her teammates returned to their normal states, Hinata noticed that Shino, without the protection of the hood he wore as a child, had a fish cake, a naruto, stuck to his right cheek. Though he appeared annoyed by it, Hinata saw the corner of his mouth twitch upward for a split second. It brought back memories for him as well.

'I wonder if he still eats here…' Hinata doubted it.

She had followed him around town many times, hoping that he'd stop at the restaurant for a bite to eat. Then she'd walk in after him and order something, and take the opportunity to strike up a conversation while they waited. Perhaps being in such a familiar place would dredge up the memories he seemed to have forgotten, and they could be friends again.(6)

Sadly, it never came to be. Rarely would Naruto even travel down the same street as the restaurant. And when he did, he didn't even break stride as he walked by it.

Shaking her head, Hinata broke her chopsticks apart and prepared to dig in.

"Birds of a failure, flocking together." came a barb from directly behind her.

"...Don't you mean 'feather'?" Kiba growled.

"I mean what I say, and I say what I mean." the newcomer replied.

Kiba's chopsticks snapped in his grip and he made turn around and confront the person who dared to ruin their lunch.

"Don't, Kiba..." Hinata said, putting a gentle, but firm hand on the boy's right forearm.

"Listen to her, Inuzuka. You as well, Aburame."

"What do you want, Neji-_kun_?" Hinata bit out, not bothering to turn and look at her cousin.

Neji scowled at the blatant disrespect. "I was ordered by Hiashi-sama to find and retrieve you."

"What? Why?"

"Because you were not supposed to leave the compound. Someone was to be sent to inform your team that you would out of action until further notice."

"I was never informed of that."

"Then take it up with your father; I still have a job to do. Now get up." Neji took a menacing step forward.

Kiba extricated himself from Hinata's grasp and whirled around on his stool to face the arrogant Hyūga prodigy.

"Do you not see that we're having lunch here?!" he snarled.

"Do you not see that I don't give a damn?" the pale-eyed boy countered.

"I believe you are causing Hinata-san undue stress, Hyūga." Shino said as he, too, turned to face Neji.

"Which could be avoided if she would just do as she's told."

"Neji...could you at least wait until I'm done eating, please?" Hinata had dropped the "-kun" suffix from her cousin's name: the first warning sign.

"No. I was told to bring you back _immediately_ after finding you."

"Please, if only as a common courtesy." Hinata implored.

"Me wasting my time coming out here to get you is courtesy enough. Now you can either move, or I will _make_ you move." Neji's eyes narrowed as his anger started bubbling to the surface.

"How's about you make ME move, tough guy?" Kiba said as he stood up and placed himself between Hinata and Neji. The effect was somewhat ruined by the fact that he wobbled a bit as he stood there, but it was plain to see that he wouldn't hesitate to throw down if the older male didn't back off. "Big man, threatening someone who can't fight back. Tch, fuckin' pathetic."

"My sentiments exactly." Shino agreed as he stood shoulder-to-shoulder with Kiba.

At their feet, Akamaru bared his teeth and growled, a sound that was far louder and more intimidating than it should've been, coming from a dog his size.

Neji simply snorted. "Please. Even together, you two clowns couldn't beat me on your best day. Now?" Neji looked at Shino. "You barely have thirty percent of your chakra left. And you," he turned to Kiba, "have even less. I wouldn't be surprised if they had to carry you here."

"You should never underestimate an opponent, no matter how small and insignificant they may seem to you." Shino said as his bugs started to emerge from his body and crawl over his face.

Neji grimaced a bit, disgusted and a little unnerved by the sight. "Well, you've got one thing right: you are small and insignificant to me." then, moving with speed neither of the younger Genin could hope to match in their current conditions, Neji delivered open-palm strikes to both of their chests.

Had they been actual Gentle Fist attacks, both clan heirs would have been dead. But Neji had only used chakra to enhance the overall kinetic force of the blows, sending them flying back over the restaurant's counter and into the solid oak walls, rendering them unconscious.

"What the hell?! What's wrong with you?!" the head chef/owner of the restaurant, Teuchi, exclaimed as he ran over to check the pulses of the two boys.

"They were interfering in official clan business, and I gave them both multiple warnings." Neji said, then turned back to Hinata, who still hadn't turned to face him. "Just like I gave you multiple opportunities to come quietly. Get. Up. If I have to tell you again, I'll be dragging your worthless carcass back to your father."

"Neji...I think you should leave..." Hinata said, every muscle in her body tensing and straining as she struggled to keep herself seated.

"I will, and you are coming with me." Neji moved to grab the girl's shoulder, but stopped abruptly when the thick ceramic cup she was holding shattered in her grip, releasing its contents onto the counter.

When Hinata rounded on him, Neji let out a rather undignified yelp and back-peddled, tripping over his own feet to land on his ass. It was that look again, but it was so much worse this time around. Not only had the raw intensity of the emotions conveyed increased tenfold, but her eyes...Where there was once a pale lavender that Neji grudgingly admitted was quite pretty, there was now only black. Pure, malevolent darkness; the complete and total absence of light.

'What the hell? What is she?!' Neji thought frantically, wanting nothing more than to turn away, but was unable to move any part of his body. 'No...No, this is some kind of trick. An illusion.' he tried to rationalize what he was seeing. 'This little _bitch_ is trying to make a fool out of me!'(7)

His terror forgotten in a sudden surge of fury, Neji snarled and jumped to his feet. He noted that the chef was raving about something, glaring and waving his arms about in wild, angry gestures. But the former Rookie of the Year ignored the old man. If he insisted on trying to intervene, then he'd get the same treatment as the other two fools who dared get in his way.

Neji stalked up to Hinata, focusing on her forehead rather than her eyes, and raised his right hand in preparation for a backhand slap that would surely send the uppity little princess to the ground. But then, through the haze of rage that had settled over his mind, his shinobi training came to the fore. If you were going to do something that would end up opening a can of worms, it was imperative that you did it as quietly and discreetly as possible. He was in a public place, with at least two witnesses that he knew of, and who knows how many others. And he was about to do something that would surely get him into serious trouble should word of it get back to Hiashi. Leaving bruises on her torso during private training sessions was one thing, but smacking her in the face in broad daylight was just too big a risk.

So, Neji swallowed his pride and lowered his hand back to his side, where it clenched into a tight fist.

"Very well then...Since you're so keen on disobeying orders, I'll leave you to it. Just don't blame me for what happens after you get home." the teen then leaned forward and hissed out one final threat. "But rest assured, if I get in trouble for this, I WILL blame _you_ for it, and I WILL make you pay for it." and with that, he turned on his heel and stormed out onto the street, disappearing around a corner within seconds.

Once he was gone, Hinata visibly deflated, taking several deep breaths to calm herself.

"Kill him in his sleep." the girl jumped as her "inner self" spoke up for the first time in a while.

'I can't...'

"You're right, that kind of end is too good for him; he should suffer before he expires. Castrate him and making choke to death on his own balls!"

'...' Hinata didn't reply, too appalled by the brutality her inner self insisted upon...And by the fact that she herself wasn't exactly adverse to the idea.

"What, you're gonna let him get away with that?! He attacked our friends, and nearly hit us! Like you need more reasons to put him out of _our_ misery!"

'Just...be quiet.' Hinata replied, doing her best to block out her inner's bloodthirsty rant as she hopped over the counter to check on her teammates.

Neither she, nor anyone else noticed the observer on the flat rooftop of a two-story pottery and glassware shop across the street from Ichiraku's. Though she couldn't be blamed for it, as even the most trained of eyes may have overlooked the spy who blended in perfectly with the rest of the roof.

It was one of Naruto's clones, using its shapeshifting capabilities to change the shape, color and texture of its body to match the piece of the raised roof edge it had broken off.

"Hmm..." the clone hummed as it returned to its normal form. "She shows impressive self-restraint, but it is unclear whether or not she will retain it the future, once she realizes what she's capable of." the copy said, turning the camcorder it was holding around to film itself. "Speaking of restraint, it appears that Hyūga Neji will have to be kept in-check, at least until Hinata is able to properly defend herself." the clone looked back down to see Hinata walk back around the counter with Shino and Kiba in two, both dizzy and obviously in pain. "And Boss...Perhaps you should think about getting the 'old team' back together."

(Hyūga Compound - One Hour Later)

After Neji's return, without Hinata, word had spread quickly that Hiashi was on the warpath. For nearly an hour, he sat in his office, brooding and steaming. Then, a Branch House servant informed him of Hinata's arrival at the front gates. Two quick Body Flickers later, and both father and daughter were in the office.

However, instead of Hiashi going off and Hinata just standing there and taking it, she decided to once again stand up for herself. And while the two argued, not a single person approached the Clanhead's personal quarters. The last thing they wanted was to be caught in the hallway and accused of eavesdropping.

But the two within the office were so focused on one another, that the entire clan could've been right outside the door and neither would have noticed.

"I was never told I wasn't to leave the compound." Hinata said, scowling up at her father, for once standing her ground in the face of his wrath.

"You should have been; I sent a servant to inform you." Hiashi replied, a scowl on his own normally stoic face. Why was his daughter being so rebellious? 'Ridiculous question. She's been under the influence of two of Konoha's most notorious "rebels".' he thought bitterly.

He may have had nothing against Naruto and Anko personally, but he knew he should have put his foot down when he was informed of their arrangement with Hinata.

"And how is it my fault it didn't get done?" Hinata countered. While she hated to throw someone under the train like that, she was NOT going to let her father put the blame on her.

"I didn't say it was. That's not the issue. The issue is that you disobeyed my order to return."

"You sent _Neji_ to 'retrieve' me." Hinata hissed. "The very first words out of his mouth were insults! He threatened me and assaulted my friends! And you honestly expected me to just drop what I was doing and follow him like an obedient little puppy?"

"Neji is not the issue. Again, you disobeyed my _order_. It was not a request, it was not a suggestion; it was a direct _order_ from your father." Hiashi's eyes narrowed in warning.

But Hinata refused to back down. "No, father, Neji IS the issue. You could have sent anyone else, and I would've come back with them. But you chose the person who's done nothing but abuse me for the past six years!"

Hiashi shook his head and let out a frustrated huff. "Again with this 'abuse' nonsense."

"...'Nonsense'? Nonsense?! You've seen what he's done to me, for no other reason than his sick amusement!" Hinata all but shrieked. She expected her father to be cold and detached, but this was just plain heartless.

"I've seen the results of you being unable to block or evade his attacks during training."

"Oh, of course, even the beatings are our fault." Inner Hinata growled sarcastically.

"Is that what you tell Hanabi when she gets hit? Oh wait, Neji's can't so much as throw a jab when he's sparring with her."

"Hanabi has a lot to learn in a relatively short period of time. We cannot afford for her to be injured in any kind of training accident." Hiashi responded matter-of-factly.

"But I'm the 'useless one', so it's okay for Neji to nearly cripple me, is that right?"

"Exaggerating will get you nowhere."

"Exaggerating, huh? How about back in April, when Neji got 'carried away' and I ended up bedridden for three days because of the pain? Or when he broke two of my ribs? Do you remember me coughing up blood? Or how about the bruised liver? I was in the hospital for a week!"

Hiashi was silent for a while. In all actuality, he didn't remember those incidents. He remembered skimming over some medical bills, but none of the specifics stuck with him. And that worried him, though he didn't show it.

"Wow...He really doesn't remember."

"I...I've even been using mother's scrolls to learn how to heal myself because of him." Hinata said, her voice nearly a whisper. For all intents and purposes, it was taboo to mention the late Mitsuko Hyūga around her widowed husband, but she didn't care. Not anymore.(8)

"What?" Hiashi questioned, finally showing a hint of emotion: anger.

"I found her scrolls and notes...I've been using them to learn medical techniques and how to create salves and ointments." Hinata let out a bitter chortle as she remembered her reasons for doing so.

She hadn't learned to heal herself for her own sake, but for Neji's. If anyone saw the bruises, she'd have to explain them, and it would have to be the truth since she was a terrible liar. She knew the clan laws, and what Neji was doing to her was considered a crime punishable by death, if the current Clanhead and Elders so chose. Back then, she had no conscious desire to hurt him, regardless of the pain he put her through. So she suffered in silence, doing what she could to get rid of all outward signs of injury.

Now, Hinata found the very notion of doing anything for Neji's benefit laughable.

"Those were not to be touched!" Hiashi snarled. It took a lot to make him truly mad, but talking about his deceased wife was a surefire way to pull it off.

"Why? So you can keep trying to erase her? I know what you're doing!" Hinata snarled right back. "Not allowing people to talk about her, getting rid of her things and hiding whatever you kept; you even allow her headstone to be overgrown with weeds!" the girl was trembling at this point, such was the intensity of the emotional outpouring. "Do you know how much it hurts when Hanabi asks me about her? To know that you won't even tell her what her own mother was like? How could you deny her that?!"

"I don't want Hanabi taking after..._Her_." Hiashi said, unable to bring himself to say her name. If he did, he was certain he'd lose what little composure he had left.

God, he missed her. Her warm smile. Her gentle, caring personality. Her delicate touch. Her seemingly endless optimism. Hiashi had loved everything about her, and still did. But that was the problem. Though she had died, slowly torn away from him by a rare and incurable disease, his love for her hadn't. And to this day, thoughts of her made him break down. As soon as he allowed those memories to enter his mind, he was incapable of thinking of anything else. He couldn't afford that, not when he had an entire clan to run.

So, in an effort to save himself from himself, he, as Hinata had accused, tried to erase Mitsuko's memory. He had her possessions tossed out and burned, keeping only her written documents and a few momentos. He all but forbade any of his clansmen from so much as speaking her name, and refused to say it himself. He had stricken her name from the Hyūga archives and destroyed any photos of her. Now, the only visual evidence of her existence was locked away in Hiashi's personal safe.

It was a scrapbook she'd made for their daughters when it was discovered that she wouldn't be able to watch them grow up.

But there was one thing Hiashi couldn't get rid of or hide away. One thing that served as a constant reminder of what he had lost. Their firstborn daughter, Hinata. The older she got, the more she looked like Mitsuko. There were times when Hiashi's heart would damn near stop the second he laid eyes on the girl. If she ever started to grow her hair out, Hiashi doubted he'd even be able to stay in the same room as her without crying.

He realized how terrible a father he was being to her, and he hated it. He despised himself for the way he treated her, and he shuddered to think of how furious Mitsuko was. Hiashi wasn't a particularly religious man, but he most certainly believed in Heaven. A soul like Mitsuko's couldn't have gone to anywhere but Paradise upon her passing, and he was certain that she was looking down on him and their offspring. Cursing his name and wishing him a place in Hell, no doubt. But it didn't matter. His duty to his clan and his village came first, and he knew he couldn't perform that duty if his wife was always fresh in his mind.

"I guess being kind and compassionate does go against the Hyūga 'Code of Conduct'. Just another reason I'm such a failure, huh?" Hinata scoffed.

"I don't want Hanabi pursuing a career as a medic. While our clan's gift is well-suited for medical applications, we are warriors first and foremost. If Hanabi is to represent our clan, she will be a warrior as well. If you wish to waste your time on such practices, that's your business; I can only hope you'll be a better doctor than you are a fighter. But I will ask you to not put those kinds of thoughts in your sister's head." Hiashi was glad his hands were currently hidden by the long sleeves of his kimono; it wouldn't do for his daughter to see his clenched fists.

"And it's impossible to be a healer and a fighter at the same time? I'm sure Tsunade-sama would _love_ to hear you say that. In fact, I'm sure mother would, too, considering she was a student of Tsunade-sama's, and an accomplished Jōnin. Five S-Class missions, a hundred and one A-Class, four-hundred and eighteen B-Class; pretty impressive résumé for a medic." Hinata smirked at the slight widening of her father's eyes. "You may be able to erase her from our own archives, but you don't have the authority to do the same to the public records. Hm, I think I'll take Hanabi-chan to the library one of these days."

"You will do no such thing." Hiashi said, letting out a single pulse of mild killing intent.

Hinata flinched, but stood her ground. "I will. What I won't do is allow you to keep her in the dark about Mitsuko. I won't!"

"I am the Lord of this house!" Hiashi roared, his frustration finally getting the better of him. "You will not defy me, girl!"

"You're a heartless monster! You push me away and treat me like dirt just because I look like her! How do you think mother would feel about that? No, you don't care; you don't care at all! Not about mother, not about me, or Hanabi!" by now, tears were streaming down Hinata's cheeks, even though her eyes blazed with fury. "I've seen the scrapbook...I've seen the pictures of you two together...And the only thing I could think was 'How on Earth are these two people together?'. Her, the sweet, caring angel in human skin. And _you_, the cold, stone-faced jerk. No one will say how you two met, and I've asked. It had to have been an arranged marriage, because someone like you could never have won her ov-!" Hinata's rant was cut short when a fist met her jaw.

No, not an open-palmed smack, or even a Gentle Fist-derived finger jab or palm thrust; an actual honest-to-goodness haymaker that picked her up off her feet and sent her careening into a bookshelf, which ended up falling over on top of her.

Hiashi just stood there, staring at his still-clenched fist in abject horror. This was why he did the things he did. This was what he tried to prevent. When someone spoke of Mitsuko in his presence, he lost himself to emotion; whether it be sorrow or anger. And just now, he'd gotten so angry that he momentarily forgot who was talking to him and lashed out as he would against some pissant badmouthing his wife. He'd snapped out of it in mid-swing, but had been unable to pull back. Instead, the world seemed to crawl at a snail's pace as he watched his own fist connect violently with his daughter's cheek and send her flying, all in gratuitous slow motion.

So distraught was he by what he'd done, and who he'd done it to, that Hiashi couldn't bring himself to move. He knew he should've been over in a flash to pick up the bookshelf and check on his daughter...But he just couldn't. He was frozen, unable to do or say anything. So, he just stood there, watching as the bookshelf started to move. Slowly, it rose up under the power of the person under it. Hiashi idly noted that it was an impressive show of raw physical strength, as the shelf was made of solid red oak and weighed somewhere in the neighborhood of three-hundred pounds. Yet here Hinata was, without the use of chakra, lifting it off herself with a single arm. With a feminine grunt of exertion, the shelf was shoved to the side, leaving the girl free to stand up.

However, Hinata remained kneeling on the floor, her left hand cradling her rapidly swelling cheek. She suspected there was a hairline fracture in her jaw as well, but she didn't much care about it now. This confirmed what she had thought, what she had dreaded for so long. Her father hated her. She knew she was acting out of line, and she could've understood a solid smack as a form of discipline. But you didn't _punch_ a child for talking back; that was reserved for the people you really didn't like. This was especially true for someone from their clan. For a Hyūga to actually punch someone meant that person had made them angry to the point where they forgot their training, and acted on raw, animalistic instinct. For a Hyūga to curl their fingers in and put their knuckles to another person's flesh, there had to be a significant level of loathing there.

It was heartbreaking for Hinata, if only on principle. Overall, it was...liberating. Now that she knew her father hated her, she was free to hate him right back without any guilt.

"Kill him in his sleep!" Inner Hinata roared.

'...I can't.'

"Right, right, it should look like an accident...I'll bet Naruto-sama can do it! Let's ask him."

'Let me rephrase that: I _won't_.' Hinata may have fully embraced her hatred for the man, but her sister still adored him. And for some unfathomable reason, her mother had fallen for him as well. Because of them, she would let him live. For now.

"H-Hinata...I..." Hiashi tried desperately the find the words to explain himself, to apologize; anything! But he couldn't even think of anything, let along say it.

It didn't matter either way, though. Hinata was in no mood for more words. And so, with nothing but a single venomous glare, she turned and ran out of his office. She had one destination in mind: Naruto's apartment. Even though he wouldn't be there himself, she knew she'd have no trouble finding a clone to listen to her and offer some input. Perhaps she'd even ask about the assassination of the Hyūga Clanhead, just to know if it would actually be an option if she ever truly wanted it.

As she ran, Hinata thought about the things she'd do once her chakra and youki balanced out. She vowed to train harder and longer than ever before; to push herself to the absolute limit and beyond. If her fath...No, if _Hiashi __Hyūga_wanted a warrior, then that's what he'd get.

'Be careful what you wish for, you arrogant prick.' Hinata thought as she rushed out of the compound and through the front gates, ignoring the calls of the guards as she took to the rooftops.

(The Next Morning)

If someone had walked into Training Ground Seven at this time, they would've sworn the Armageddon was just around the corner. Why? Because Kakashi Hatake was on-time.

It was 8:00am on the dot, and Kakashi was leaning on the railing of the small red bridge that was the training ground's only noteworthy quality. He wasn't even reading smut! That alone was enough to conclude that something was wrong, but the overall state the man was in clinched it.

To be frank, Kakashi looked terrible. His skin was a bit paler than usual, there were bags under his visible eye, and his posture just screamed "exhaustion". Even his hair seemed to lose the will to fight against gravity, drooping noticeably. Understandable, if you knew that he'd been up all night, stressing over facing the students he now firmly believed he didn't deserve. That, combined with him working on his "apology" to Naruto, resulted in a grand total of three minutes of sleep.

And speaking of the "apology" he had prepared, it was the main cause for the aura of doom and gloom that hung over his head like a dark cloud. He was probably going to die today, but it was the only way he could see to even begin to make things right.

Kakashi let out a mirthless chuckle as he thought about his plan, fingering the scroll in his right pocket. He couldn't help but be reminded of his father, Sakumo Hatake, Konoha's "White Fang". The man had killed himself in atonement for his misdeeds, and now it looked like his son was destined to follow in his footsteps. That was the worst part about his plan, in Kakashi's opinion. He'd worked so hard to separate himself from his father; both the disgrace of his name, and to get out of the shadow of his exemplary shinobi career.

As he'd risen through the shinobi ranks, people often referred to him as the second coming of the White Fang, and he hated it with a passion. He didn't want to be judged by the standards his father had set. He didn't want to be the "Second Sakumo"; he wanted to go down in history as the "First Kakashi". But now...Now it seemed that all his work would be for naught. Everything he had done to ensure his own specific place in the history books, he felt, would be erased by this single act.

"Well, they do say the apple doesn't fall far from the tree...I don't even like apples." Kakashi snorted.(9)

"I don't know about that." to his credit, Kakashi didn't move a muscle at the sudden noise. "An apple may not fall very far, but, under the right circumstances, it can roll quite a ways."

"Naruto." Kakashi greeted as he watched his strongest "student" walk out from under the bridge.

"Hatake." Naruto responded, jumping up to the bridge and leaning against the railing opposite and to the right of his "sensei".

"..."

"..."

"...How are you feeling?" Kakashi asked after coughing into his fist. He didn't handle awkward silences very well, especially when he couldn't simply leave.

The Jōnin inwardly flinched when Naruto turned to him with a look that he knew was equal parts annoyance and suspicion. His experiences in ANBU made him an expert at knowing what people were feeling even if he couldn't see their faces. Naruto was harder to read than almost anyone else Kakashi had ever encountered, but he was slowly picking up on the boy's specific quirks and mannerisms.

"Whatever your game is, I am in no mood to play it. You want someone to talk to? Make a clone. I've got nothing to say to you, and you've got nothing to say that I'd want to hear."

Naruto didn't do small talk. Especially with people he'd rather not be around in the first place.

For a moment, just a moment, Kakashi contemplated pulling rank on the Genin. But, like a flash of lightning, the thought was gone in a fraction of a second. Not only was it unlikely to work in the first place, but it would be counterintuitive to his goals. The last thing the silver-haired man wanted to do was make Naruto mad. So, he kept his mouth shut and waited for the other two Genin to arrive.

He didn't have to wait long. Within another two minutes, both Kakashi and Naruto felt two familiar chakra signatures moving towards them at a slow, but steady pace.

Lifting his head a little, Naruto focused on the signatures. Their normal "passive" output had gone up significantly, which was a good indication of increased chakra reserves. He'd expected as much, since it had been twenty-three days since he'd last interacted with them, and they had, supposedly, been training that entire time. In addition to learning from Kakashi while Naruto had been otherwise occupied, Naruto's clones had confirmed that Sakura had been spending most of her free time with Mirano. Sasuke spent his time with Kakashi, well after team meetings were finished, and trained under Genma Shiranui, who apparently owed Kakashi a favor, when Hatake wasn't available.

'Hopefully, increased reserves aren't all they've got to show for it.' Naruto thought, hoping that the ridiculous farce of a team would be at least a bit more tolerable from now on.

As the two got closer, Naruto was able to clearly make out some outward changes; namely their attire. While the clothing itself remained much the same, it looked like Sakura and Sasuke had finally been taught the values of a darker outfit.

Sakura still wore her qípáo dress, but the color was a more subdued dark red, and the white trim and circle markings had been done away with. Naruto also noticed that her hair was done up in a tight, stylish bun; the same kind used by many of the female nurses and doctors in Mirano's personal staff. "Practical, yet pretty", they called it.

In Sasuke's case, his shirt was now a dark navy blue, and his shorts and arm warmers were grey, as were the wrappings on his shins.

But it was the way in which the two Genin carried themselves that really intrigued Naruto. The Uchiha still walked with pride and confidence, but there was none of the arrogance in his body language that had come to be a trademark of sorts. His head was still held high, but his nose wasn't in the air.

With Sakura, the changes were more numerous and significant. It was almost like she was an entirely different person! There was a sense of pride and self-assurance that had never been there before. And though she looked relaxed, trained eyes could tell she was primed and ready to act at a moment's notice. Gone was the somewhat timid, though annoyingly outspoken and chatty girl; replaced by a young woman confident in her abilities. A true kunoichi in the making. And more surprising still; she wasn't flirting with Sasuke! Sure, she was talking to him, but it appeared to be just a normal conversation. And while she was walking quite close to him, she was still far enough away to respect his personal space.

Glancing at Kakashi, Naruto saw that he didn't look at all surprised. Then again, he'd been with them throughout most of Naruto's near month-long absence from the team. He had seen their progress first hand all the way through, while Naruto only had reports from his clones, and they didn't care enough to go into details. Mostly because Naruto himself didn't care enough to be interested in them. As long as they got some positive, lasting results, how they went about it didn't much matter.

"You're late." Kakashi greeted the second half of Team Seven. '...Did I really just say that?'

Mirroring his thoughts, Sakura and Sasuke just stared at their sensei with wide, unbelieving eyes. Then, a split second later, they were both brandishing kunai and glaring at the man they thought to be an imposter. And a poor one, at that. Kakashi Hatake, calling someone else out for being late to a meeting? Yeah, someone didn't do their homework.

"Hey, hey, there's no need for that!" Kakashi said, holding his hands up in the universal sign of surrender.

But the two Genin weren't buying it. However, as they prepared to attack, a familiar voice from directly behind stopped them both in their tracks.

"Darker clothes, and you've gotten rid of the bullseyes on your backs. I see you've developed some common sense while I was away."(10)

The voice, monotonous and mocking, sent an involuntary chill down their spines. Just when they were starting to get used to the idea that Naruto _wasn't_ just going to pop up and scare the living daylights out of them...

"...Namikaze-san." Sasuke acknowledged, his mouth suddenly quite dry.

"Uchiha." Naruto replied, deliberately leaving the "-san" honorific out.

"Good morning, Namikaze-san." Sakura said, putting away her kunai and turning to face Naruto with a respectful bow.

"...Morning..." Naruto cocked his head to the side slightly. He hadn't been expecting that kind of formality.

"Good morning, all!" Kakashi said, feeling a bit put off by first nearly being attacked by his students, then being ignored by them.

"Tch, for you, maybe." Sasuke scoffed as he placed his kunai back in his equipment pouch.

"Someone's grumpy today." Kakashi chuckled, doing his best to keep his two less observant pupils from figuring out something was up. He had no doubt that Naruto had already picked up on it.

"In the passed week alone, I've been headbutted two-hundred and fourteen times, and I've had my nose broken twice!" Sasuke growled, pointing at the thin strips of white medical tape covering the bridge of his nose. There was also a small bruise under his right eye, following the contour of the eye socket. "Plus, the sensei YOU assigned to me ate my breakfast...after headbutting me again. So you'll understand if I'm not exactly chipper right now."

Kakashi could only smile sheepishly. For most, it was Genma's ever-present senbon needle "toothpick" that made him stand out. But for those who really knew him, it was his penchant for headbutts that made him (in)famous. No one knew how he did it without giving himself a concussion, or even breaking his own skin, but the man could headbutt harder than most could punch. He'd even been documented cracking a multi-ton boulder with his forehead alone.

It was even part of the training method Genma employed with any students he was given. If they could put up enough of a fight to where the Jōnin was forced to use his hands, then they were worth training. But there were consequences for passing Genma's test. He was a firm believer in always being ready, no matter the time or the place. Even if you were in the safety of your own home, he believed that you should be prepared to repel an attack at a moment's notice. And to ensure that he students adopted those same ideals, he would stalk them throughout the day, appearing randomly to deliver a swift headbutt, then disappearing just as quickly.(11)

And while Kakashi didn't really condone the method with his prized student, he couldn't argue with the results. Sasuke's already cat-like reflexes had sharpened even further, and during spars even the most unorthodox of attacks rarely caught him off guard.

"Well, could you at least pretend to be enthused? You know, to help the team morale?" Kakashi suggested.

"You mean like you're doing now?" Naruto asked.

'Dammit.' Kakashi thought as he let out a sigh of resignation.

"Kakashi-sensei? Is something wrong?" as the Jōnin had expected, Sakura was the only one who seemed at all concerned about his wellbeing.

"No, Sakura, I'm just a little tired. As you know, I just got back from an S-Class mission yesterday, and I should've been resting up, but...Well, I guess I was just so excited, that I couldn't sleep last night." Kakashi replied, mentally patting himself on the back for coming up with a perfect excuse on such short notice.

"Excited? About what?" even Sasuke's interest was piqued now.

"A little birdie told me that the Chūnin Exams are just around the corner, and I was thinking of signing my cute little students up!" Kakashi only chuckled when he heard Naruto growl at the "cute" remark.

"Really, Kakashi-sensei? You think we're ready?" while she was ecstatic about the possibility of a promotion so early in her ninja career, Sakura's analytical mind came to the forefront.

From what she'd read about the Exams, they were split into three parts, and the first two heavily emphasized teamwork. Something that Team Seven just didn't have. At least, as a whole they didn't. Sakura and Sasuke could work together just fine now, but Naruto was an entirely different story. Not only did he not play well with others; he didn't need to. With his clones, he was a one-man army. And if you absolutely have to rely on someone else, who better than another you?

"That's what I called this meeting to find out. Individually, I think each of you have the skill, strength and knowledge to make it. But the Exams don't work like that; you need to be able to function as a unit, at least through the first two portions." Kakashi explained.

"Teamwork exercises...Great." Naruto grunted sarcastically.

"Come on, it's for a promotion!"

"Which I can get in the field."

"Field promotions are rare outside of war, and even then it's usually from Chūnin to Jōnin." Kakashi countered. "And no offense, but I doubt you'd ever come up for a field promotion to Chūnin. You know as well as I do that being a Chūnin is about more than just being strong enough. To get a field promotion, you need to display courage, leadership, intelligence and strength. You've got three out of four, but the one you're missing is the most important for that rank. You are not a leader, Naruto; not in the way that's required. Telling everyone else to stay out of the way while you go off to slaughter the enemy isn't what a Chūnin does."

"...Fine." Naruto conceded the point. "But I want to perform a test of my own, see if these two are even worth working with." he added as he stepped around his teammates and walked until he was a good twenty yards away.

Kakashi didn't bother protesting, as he knew this was going to happen. Instead, he looked to Sakura and Sasuke, who nodded their approval. This was something they had been waiting for; to test their progress against the ultimate measuring stick.

"Alright, I don't see anything wrong with that. Any rules you want to include, besides the usual?"

"No rules, no restrictions. At least for you two. Every technique, every tactic, every weapon; bring it all."

Sasuke and Sakura nodded once more, then reached for their kunai again and dropped into battle stances.

"Ready when you are." Sakura said, eyes intense and focused, and mouth set in a thin line of grim determination. The look was mirrored by Sasuke, though tempered with a bit more caution. Afterall, he had actually felt what Naruto was capable of.

"Good. But I won't be your opponent." Naruto pointed, seemingly, right at the two Genin. "That would be her."

Their eyes widened and with twin gulps of trepidation, Sakura and Sasuke looked over their shoulders. What they saw wasn't exactly what they'd been expecting. It was still obviously a clone, judging from the height, wardrobe and hair color; but it was a _female_ one. And she lacked a mask, giving the two rookie ninjas a clear view of her sharp, but elegant features. She was beautiful, no doubt; enough to make even Sasuke blush. But her eyes were the most striking things about her. Colored an icy blue, so bright they almost seemed to glow, with slitted pupils that reminded the two children of a cat. Those eyes burned with a kind of silent intensity that made them fidget and squirm under her penetrating gaze.

These were the eyes of a hunter. A predator that was sizing them up, deciding which one to devour first. All in all, it was actually quite close to what they had imagined Naruto's eyes really looked like under the mask. But that didn't make them any less unnerving.

And then, the clone spoke. "Hello. We haven't been properly introduced. My name is Akiko." she gave a nod and a sort of wave/salute. "And I'm going to start beating you now."

Sakura and Sasuke didn't miss a beat, leaping away from the clone before she even finished speaking, putting some thirty yards between them and the deadly bombshell.

"So, what's the plan?" Sasuke asked in a whisper.

"...Survive?" Sakura answered. "It's not like there's anything we can do to give ourselves an advantage."

Sasuke grunted, his traditional scowl appearing on his face. "Damn...Okay, if we can't get an advantage, then we have to find a way to keep...her from using hers."

"And how do we do that?" Sakura asked, eyeing the clone warily. "Akiko" hadn't moved an inch, apparently waiting for them to make the first move.

"I think we'll just have to make it up as we go along...But the first thing we should do is get in close." upon seeing Sakura's "Are you insane?!" look, Sasuke quickly elaborated on his admittedly half-baked idea. "Most of the Ninjutsu techniques we've seen Naruto use pack a hell of a punch, and more often than not they explode. I know I wouldn't want to use attacks like that at close range, where there's a chance I could be caught in the blast...I sort of doubt Naruto follows that same logic, but it's all we've got for now."

"Don't worry about that." the rookies looked over to Naruto, who was now standing on the bridge alongside Kakashi. "Akiko will be limited to Taijutsu for this fight. Anything else would just be unfair."

Sakura breathed a short sigh of relief, causing Sasuke to give her an odd look. Did she think that made things any easier, or safer?

"So, who's first? Any volunteers?" Akiko taunted. "No? Fine, I'll choose. Eeny, meeny, miny..." the femme clone suddenly disappeared.

Sasuke immediately activated his Sharingan, two tomoe spinning wildly in each eye as he scanned the field.

"_You_." before the Uchiha could react, Akiko delivered a kick to his side, taking him off his feet.

When he finally came to a stop and registered what had happened, Sasuke found himself staring up at Akiko, her foot raised and ready to turn his head into chunky salsa. But, just as the boot began to take up more and more of his field of view, the boy felt a hand grab his right left and yank him back along the ground.

When Akiko's foot came down harmlessly on the dirt, it created a respectable crater and left her leg buried over half a foot in the ground. Seeing a prime opportunity, Sakura let go of Sasuke's leg and launched herself forward, fist cocked back in preparation to throw a skull-crushing right straight. However, instead of breaking a jaw, Sakura was forced to use her fist to break the fifty-pound chunk of earth that Akiko kicked at her while she pulled her foot out.

Upon doing so, she was greeted with the sight of Akiko's own fist making a beeline for her, going far too fast for her to do anything but brace for impact. Fortunately, by that time Sasuke had recovered and was ready to return the favor. Pushing Sakura aside, he allowed Akiko's fist to sail by his head, then grabbed her arm and tried to toss her over his shoulder.

Keyword: Tried. Akiko quickly put on the brakes, using chakra to stick herself to the ground. And after two punches to the left kidney, Sasuke was forced to let go, allowing Akiko to wrap her arm around his neck. But this wasn't an attempt at a chokehold. Instead of just slipping her forearm under his chin and pressing to cut off air, she reached across his body, grabbed his left shoulder and pulled, spinning him around to face her. From there, she wrapped her long and deceptively dainty-looking fingers around his neck, then lifted him up and brought him back down with tremendous force.(12)

She kept her hand around the Uchiha's throat, intent on keeping up the pressure until he passed out. But it was made somewhat difficult by a sudden hail of shuriken coming her way. The clone managed to dodge five of them just by moving her head and upper body back and forth, then caught the last three between the fingers of her free hand. On instinct, she made to throw them back at their owner, but tossed them aside when she remembered she could only use hand-to-hand moves. When Sakura didn't follow up on her attack, Akiko returned her attention to Sasuke, only to get a fireball right to the face. While it did virtually no damage, the sheer surprise of it forced her to let go and back off.

As Sasuke got up, coughing and sputtering, Sakura was immediately by his side. But this wasn't the typical fangirl worrying; this was a professional checking for injuries. The red bruises, trademarks of bare-handed strangulation, stood out prominently on the Uchiha's somewhat pale skin, making them look a lot worse than they really were.

"Can you still breathe?" Sakura asked, making sure to stand at an angle that allowed her to keep Akiko in her peripheral.

"I'm fine." Sasuke assured after he got his coughing under control. "Plan B: stay away from her...She's way too strong to fight head-on." the power in her hand alone was downright scary. He could tell she was holding back just to choke him out, and knew that the blonde could've crushed him at will.

"But she's still too fast; any distance we put between her and us, she can easily close." Sakura pointed out as she activated a minor healing technique to get rid of Sasuke's bruises.

"No, don't. You'll need every bit of chakra you've got." Sasuke said as he stopped his teammate's glowing hand. "But you're right, we need a way to slow her down...!" Sasuke snapped his fingers as he had a light-bulb moment. "Sakura, you've got an Earth affinity, right?"

"Yeah, why?" Sakura answered, wondering what Sasuke was up to. She'd already thought of dozens of potential ways to use her elemental affinity to help them out, but she found she didn't have much of anything in her limited arsenal that would be of much help.

Looking over to Akiko, Sasuke saw that she appeared to be waiting for them, for whatever reason. He wasn't about to look a gift horse in the mouth, though. Slinging his arm around Sakura's shoulders and bringing her in close, he lowered his voice as much as possible as he spoke.

"Do you have anything that can create some mud? Like, a lot of it?" the black-haired boy whispered.

"M-Morino-sensei taught m-me the Doryū Taiga last week." Sakura said, fighting to keep her face from turning beet red.

Sasuke nodded, a smirk forming on his lips. He hadn't learned that particular technique, yet, but he knew what it did and it was exactly what he had in mind.

"Excellent. I'll distract her, while you use the technique." he said, glancing at Akiko to make sure she was still waiting.

Sakura opened her mouth to ask another question, but closed it when Sasuke's intentions finally dawned on her. Unfortunately, she didn't feel nearly as good about it as he apparently did. The mud created by the Doryū Taiga was naturally thin, watery and shallow. Meant to make opponents lose balance and fall over to be swept away by the current; holding someone in place was the exact opposite of what the technique was created for. To make something as viscous and deep as would be needed to have any significant effect on Akiko would take quite a bit of chakra and concentration on Sakura's part.

"I don't know about this, Sasuke-kun." Sakura voiced her concerns. "We'd need something more like 'Swamp of the Underworld', and even if I knew it, I don't have the chakra for it...Wait!" the pinkette smiled as she had her own light-bulb moment. "When I use the technique, use your Sharingan to copy it! Then, when I've got her attention, use the technique yourself. Together, maybe we can make something strong enough to hold her down!" hold her down for what, exactly, Sakura didn't know. But gumming up the works of the well-oiled machine that was Akiko was the first order of business.

At that moment, Sasuke wanted nothing more than to kiss the girl's large forehead in appreciation of the suitably large brain hidden behind it. He probably would have, too, if he wasn't certain that she'd end up passing out on him.

Meanwhile, on the small bridge, Kakashi's curiosity finally won out.

"Your clone, Akiko was it?" he started. "I assume she's just standing there at your command?"

"Yes, I have told her to let them make the first move." Naruto answered, leaning forward on the railing slightly, unexpectedly interested in how things were playing out.

"Any particular reason why? I don't think you're being this...sporting for no reason."

"Of course not. I want to see what they can come up with when given ample time to strategize. Then I'll test how they fare when thinking on their feet and under pressure."

Kakashi nodded, understanding the "method to the madness", so to speak. But even so, he readied himself to step in at the first sign of real trouble.

"Are you ready?" Sasuke asked, taking out another kunai to replace the one he'd lost after being kicked.

"As I'll ever be." Sakura swallowed hard; she was NOT looking forward to this.

"Let's go!" and with that, Sasuke took off, running straight at Akiko.

For her part, Akiko simply rose an eyebrow at the brazen and seemingly idiotic tactic. The second eyebrow joined the first when the Uchiha suddenly started launching fireballs at her. Without the use of handseals. The first was dodged with a twist of Akiko's upper body, while she casually ducked under the second. The third was literally caught, like a baseball, and snuffed out as the clone closed her fingers around it.

But Sasuke was undeterred. He knew the Fire element would be less than useless against Akiko. He was just thankful she was restricted to Taijutsu and couldn't hurl his own attacks back at him. The Uchiha launched four more fireballs, then, against all logic, rushed in to physically engage his opponent. As she dodged the flaming projectiles, Sasuke could see the look on her face, and it made him smirk. It appeared she honestly thought he was just charging in like an idiot, and that's exactly what he wanted.

What followed was a brief, but surprisingly intense tussle. Sasuke lashed out with a variety of kicks and punches, taking swipes with his kunai when it looked like Akiko was going to try and grab him. None of them hit their mark, but what was surprising was that it was the same for Akiko. Sasuke's reflexes had improved dramatically, and he was able to evade almost everything when the clone finally went on the offensive. However, he had only a fraction of her stamina. By the time Sasuke managed to break away, Akiko was still going strong, while he was slowing down with every second that passed by.

Not content with leaving her opponent winded, but still standing, Akiko tried to go after him as he jumped away. But the six chakra signatures she felt closing in on her from behind stopped her in her tracks. Whirling around, she very nearly came face-to-fist with a Fire Clone. Though, it wasn't really right to call it a "clone", since it was more of a sentient, vaguely humanoid mass of flame. But it still fought like Sasuke, and six of them proved to be something of a challenge. Fortunately, they could be vanquished with a single blow, which disrupted the chakra shells they needed to maintain their form. Unfortunately, they provided a decent enough distraction for Sasuke and Sakura to put their plan into action.(13)

Clasping her hands in a Tiger seal, Sakura molded the required chakra, then slammed her hands into the ground. Instantly, the soil in front of her liquefied, traveling in a straight line towards the preoccupied Akiko.

A second later, with the technique copied, Sasuke added his own larger mud flow to the mix.

With only a single clone left to destroy, Akiko suddenly found feet sinking into the ground. Her first thought was Swamp of the Underworld, but she noticed that the mud wasn't particularly sticky or thick. It was just normal mud, but there was a lot of it and now she had no leverage. This allowed the Fire Clone to get in a kick that likely would've snapped a normal person's neck, but it just pissed Akiko off. As it went for follow-up punch, she grabbed its arm and slammed it into the mud, putting out the flames and effectively "killing" it.

"That's not gonna hold her for long!" Sakura said as she came up beside Sasuke.

"Head for the trees!" the Uchiha ordered. "This open ground favors her, since she can see us coming no matter what we do. If we get into the forest, we might be able to get the drop on her."

As the two disappeared within the tree line, and Akiko slowly but surely struggled her way towards dry land, Naruto and Kakashi found themselves quite impressed.

"I didn't think they'd last this long." Naruto admitted.

"They've changed. Sakura's taking her training seriously, and Sasuke's..." Kakashi trailed off, unable to come up with a "polite" way to describe how the young Uchiha used to behave.

"Finally pulled his head out of his ass?"

"...I was going for something a bit more politically correct, but yes. With Sasuke willing to accept, and even ask for help, and Sakura no longer being afraid to get in the thick of it, they work very well together. Won't you at least give them a chance?"

"We'll see. There's still one more test to pass; the feeling-out process is over." when Akiko finally pulled herself out of the quagmire, Naruto gave her the mental command to go on the assault.

As he watched Akiko enter the forest in pursuit of his two students, Kakashi created a trio of Shadow Clones.

"Follow them. If it looks like Akiko..." Kakashi trailed off, still trying to familiarize himself with the concept of a clone having its own name, "is about to do something that could endanger someone's life, I want you to step in."

"Understood." the three clones chorused, then vanished in three different swirls of leaves.

"Aw, you don't trust me?" Naruto asked with a slight chuckle.

"..."

"While this would be a prime opportunity to kill them and have it labeled a 'training accident', they haven't done anything to deserve it. They may have irritated me to no end in the past, but that's no reason to end them. See? I AM giving them a chance, Hatake."

(Meanwhile...)

Fairly deep within the small chunk of dense woodland that surrounded the training ground, Sakura and Sasuke huddled behind a tree inside a semi-circle of thick bushes.

"She'll be coming for us any second now." Sakura said, wiping the sweat off her brow.

"Then we'd better be quick about coming up with a game plan. I vote hit-and-run." Sasuke replied, using his Sharingan to scan for even the slightest movements.

"That really only works if you're faster than the person you're fighting. We're not."

"I know, but since there's two of us and one of her, we can still pull it off." satisfied that they were still alone for the moment, Sasuke set about laying out his idea. "We wait for her to show up, then I ambush her. I won't stop to fight, just run in, try to slash her or something, and keep going until I get back into cover. When she tries to follow, you run in and do the same as me. If we can keep her off-kilter, maybe we can come up with a way to immobilize her again."

"That...sounds incredibly dumb, but I can't think of anything better." Sakura sighed. "What are we even supposed to be doing? Is this like the bell test, where we have to perform some kind of task to win? Or is there even a way to win at all?"

"I doubt it. You heard Naruto before, he wants us to pull out all the stops here. I can only guess he wants us to fight until we drop...or until Akiko drops us."

Sakura's eyes widened when she felt a familiar chakra signature closing in on their position. Fast.

"Which may not be too long from now! MOVE!" she shouted, both of them springing away from their hiding spot in opposite directions.

Barely a second later, the trunk of the tree they were behind exploded into splinters as Akiko punched right through it. Having already fought Sasuke, Akiko moved to go after Sakura. But the Uchiha was quick to intervene, running up in an attempt to hamstring his foe.

Akiko lashed out with a back kick, but Sasuke ducked under it without breaking stride, once again showing his vastly improved reaction time. He even managed to score a small cut on the inside of the clone's left thigh, a few inches above her knee, before vaulting over a row of bushes and disappearing back into the foliage.

Growling angrily, at herself mostly, Akiko gave chase. But, just as she was about to jump over the same row of bushes, Sakura suddenly popped up and nearly took her head off. Luckily, the blonde managed to duck just in time.

Tucking her body in at the last second, Sakura hit the ground in a forward roll, then jumped, springboarding off a tree and out of sight.

'Oh, my God, this is actually working!' Sakura thought giddily as she found a place to set up for the next round.

Akiko paused to try and calm herself down, and it was then that Sasuke struck. He unleashed a massive fireball to draw her attention, then rushed her when she jumped back.

'Yes!' Sasuke thought as he was on-course to catch her in mid-air, where she'd be unable to effectively evade or block. However, his hopes were quickly dashed when she suddenly disappeared. Fearing the worst, Sasuke tried to veer off in another direction, but it was too late.

He actually felt Akiko before he saw her, pain radiating out to his entire body as she buried her fist into his liver.

"Oh my, I hope I didn't rupture anything." the female clone said, then grabbed the boy in a side headlock. "Y'know, if I were a real enemy, I could pop your head off like a champagne cork." to prove her point, she gave him a "light" squeeze, causing him to choke and gasp as his face began to turn red.

Two Fire Clones burned through some bushes as they charged, but Akiko was done playing games. A kick ended the first, and she tossed Sasuke _through_ the second. The flames didn't hurt him, as they were created from his own chakra, but the impact with the tree definitely did some damage.

Akiko turned around to see Sakura coming at her like a raging bull. Scoffing, she held out a hand to catch the incoming haymaker. Big mistake.

The pinkette had learned to properly channel that monstrous strength she had displayed when she was particularly angry. Her fist impacted Akiko's hand and continued on as if it wasn't even there, pulverizing the simulated bones in the clone's arm. Sakura's knuckles found their mark dead-center in Akiko's chest, the impact snapping ribs and turning organs into goo.

As Akiko's broken body went flying, right through no less than three different trees, Sakura grimaced. She had felt everything just...give way under the power of her punch. If it had been a regular human, her hand probably would've come out through their back, along with everything that should've been inside their ribcage. She had the power to kill now, with relative ease, and it was more than a little unsettling. But it was something to think about later; right now she had to see to Sasuke, who appeared to be having trouble standing.

"Are you alright?" Sakura asked as she kneeled down next to the boy.

"No..." Sasuke coughed, his face briefly turning into a mask of pain. "My ribs...I think a couple are broken...And I might have a concussion."

A quick diagnostic technique confirmed Sasuke's assessment, and pretty much spelled doom for them both. While these were relatively minor wounds, they would still take a good four minutes, total, to heal, and she doubted Akiko would stay down for that long. Sasuke wouldn't last long fighting in this condition, and Sakura would soon follow when she had to face Akiko alone.

"Well, no one can say we didn't try." Sakura said, trying, and mostly failing, to lighten the mood.

Sasuke snorted in response. "We're already sunk anyway. Might as well just go for it and see what happens."

After Sakura helped the Uchiha to his feet, they heard a twig snap somewhere in the forest behind them. Whipping around, they saw only a deer, which immediately bolted due to their sudden movement.

But before they could breathe sighs of relief, a wave of killing intent froze them in place.

"Two-fifteen." Akiko said as she appeared before Sasuke in the blink of an eye. Before the boy could register what was going on, a single headbutt sent him crashing to the ground, out cold.

The clone turned to Sakura, surprised to see her not only still on her feet, but looking determined to fight to the bitter end.

Throwing caution to the wind, the pinkette charged with an offensive flurry. She knew it was hopeless, but she didn't care. Like Sasuke said, it was over anyway, so why not?

Using the Glider Taijutsu sub-style, Akiko virtually danced around Sakura's attacks. While the girl had the strength to be a major threat, she was still just too slow. This gave Akiko a chance to evaluate how Sakura fought, and she was actually somewhat impressed.

Sakura was using a power-bias version of the basic Taijutsu style taught in the Academy. It was a good style, created to be balanced and effective against nearly every type of close-range fighter. A ninja could go through their entire career using it, and many did, as its only real weaknesses were the limitations of the user. If Sakura had Akiko's level of skill, speed and endurance, she'd be a hell of a challenge. But as of now, Akiko could overwhelm the girl at will.

As Sakura went for a spinning heel kick, Akiko stepped into it, then spin around to Sakura's back, grabbing her outstretched right leg and trapping it under her arm at the same time. A swift back elbow to the base of the skull put Sakura on the ground, but didn't knock her out as it was meant to. Through sheer force of will, she kept herself awake and alert, kicking at Akiko's knees with her left foot, as her right was still in Akiko's grasp. The clone simply stepped to the side and out of Sakura's reach, before swinging her around by her leg and throwing her into a tree.

It would've been hard for an observer to tell if the sickening crack produced by the impact was from the tree, or Sakura's spine. But still, the girl carried on and willed herself to her feet. After a somewhat sluggish set of handseals, she slammed her palms into the ground. A second later, a seven-foot-long spike of rock shot up out of the ground right below Akiko, who merely hopped to the left to avoid it.

Gritting her teeth, Sakura continued to send her chakra into the ground through short pulses, each one resulting in another spike erupting out of the soil. But Akiko continued to avoid them, moving so fast that she seemed to teleport from side to side.

"Careful. Keep that up and you might pass out." Akiko admonished, slowly stalking towards her prey. Even as she continued to move from left to right to evade the spikes, she didn't appear to break stride.

Once she got within ten feet, Sakura lunged, but only received a front thrust kick to the chest for her efforts. Her back once again collided with the tree, and this time she appeared to be down for the count.

"Alright, Haruno-san...Consider me officially impressed." Akiko said, giving the unconscious girl a brief round of applause. But her clapping stopped when she felt two hands grab her ankles. Looking down, she saw what appeared to be the hands of another Sakura trying to pull her underground for the Inner Decapitation technique. Assuming that it was the real Sakura, and the one she'd kicked was a clone, Akiko prepared to end the fight for good. But a sudden realization stopped her. The "clone" she had kicked didn't dispel on impact, either with her boot or with the tree. 'That means...!' Akiko looked up just in time to get the mother of all uppercuts right on the chin.

It was a blow what would've killed most people, packing enough force to send Akiko up clear through the forest canopy.

"...I did it..." Sakura said as she fell to her knees, barely able to keep her eyes open. In front of her, the hands sticking out of the ground dissolved into mud. Looking up and to her right, she saw Kakashi standing on the branch of a tree, looking thoroughly shocked. "Did you see it, sensei? I beat her...I won..." Sakura then passed out, falling to her side. But the smile of accomplishment never left her face.

Two seconds later, Akiko's body came plowing back through the leaves and crashed into the ground, avoiding one of the Earth Spikes by just a couple feet.

Kakashi's clone could only stand there, still struggling to comprehend what it had just seen. For all intents and purposes, Sakura had just beaten Naruto. No matter the handicaps the clone was placed under, it had still proven that it was more than capable of utterly annihilating the two Genin. And yet there it...there _she_ was, laying in a crater, defeated.

But she wasn't dispelled. Inside the crater, she repaired her wrecked face and neck. Her simulated muscle, tissue and bone all reforming from their broken and torn states, back to perfect condition. As her jaw snapped back into place, Akiko sighed deeply.

"...I'm never going to live this down..."

XX

Five minutes later, with clones having taken Sakura and Sasuke to the hospital for treatment, Kakashi was finally alone with Naruto. If he was going to go through with his plan, it had to be now.

"Naruto, wait..." Kakashi called when he saw Naruto moving to leave the training ground.

"What is it now, Hatake?" Naruto all but growled. While he may have been pleasantly surprised by his teammates' performance, he still had nothing to say to his "sensei".

"Look, I...I know I've wronged you, Naruto." Kakashi said.

"Don't..." this time, Naruto did growl. He knew where this was going, and he didn't like it.

"I let anger and grief get the better of me...I convinced myself that you were something you're not, just so I could avoid taking responsibility." Kakashi continued, undaunted.

"Hatake..." Naruto warned again. He could feel it, the rage bubbling up from deep within. If the cyclops kept at it, things would get real ugly, real quick.

"But...I saw something else back in Kumogakure...Or rather, I was forced to see it...I saw you; the real you. I saw someone who embodies the value I preach above all others, yet haven't followed in a long time. You risked your life for a comrade back there. One from another country, a rival and outright enemy country in past years, but a comrade nonetheless. My eyes have been opened Naruto, and all I can say is...I'm sorry." Kakashi was prepared for the blow that followed, but it still hurt like hell.

The instant those last two words left Kakashi's mouth, Naruto nearly removed his head with a punch. Amazingly, the man stayed on his feet, albeit some twenty feet from his original position.

"Don't you DARE, you lying sack of shit! You've got a tongue as silver as your hair, but your actions tell the real story, and I call bullshit! You're not 'sorry', and you never will be. You didn't 'see' anything; something else must have prompted this out-of-the-blue 'apology'...Let me guess, the others have found out about what you did, and now they either want nothing to do with you, or they're out for your blood. Perhaps a combination of the two? No, all you care about is yourself and your reputation. And you know what? I'm fine with that. I'd content to never see you again, and I know you feel the same. I let it go, so why can't you? What's so hard about walking away one more time?"

"...If you had let it go, you wouldn't be so angry right now." Kakashi said as he rubbed his aching jaw. "_We_ can't just 'let it go', Naruto. We can't continue on like we have. Do you remember what happened back in Wave Country? We both exploded back there, and it wasn't because of me complimenting Sakura. If we don't do something about this, someone's going to get killed; you said it yourself!"

"I've tried to request a transfer, but YOU won't allow it!"

"Because I want this team to work!"

"Bull and Shit. You want the Uchiha to work, and I'm just the tomato at the end of the stick. I'm his 'rival', his motivation to get stronger; a pseudo-Itachi."

"That...That may have been the case before, but not now. I don't deserve any of you as students, but I want to at least teach you everything I can."

"Tch, what could you possibly teach me? You may have copied over a thousand techniques, but I doubt you know the mechanics and principles behind them all well enough to teach them to those without the Sharingan. And besides, I'm willing to bet that I already know most, if not all of the relevant ones you have. And even if I don't, Kyuubi most likely does." normally, Naruto would speak so about Kyuubi so openly, especially not about the fact that he was learning from her. But he had already told Kakashi that he communicated with the demoness, and even allowed him to speak with her. So that bridge had already been crossed.

"Kyuubi...How can you trust it...I mean, _her_." Kakashi corrected himself. He already had a pissed off Naruto on his hands, so the last thing he wanted was an irate Bijū added to the mix.

"How can I trust her? How can I trust this fucking village?! They've insulted me, beaten me, poisoned me, stabbed me, buried me, burned me; even the Hokage lied to me for my entire life, letting me believe that I was an orphan with an unknown family! Kyuubi? She's done nothing but help me. She was there for me when no one else would give me the time of day. When half the village was out hunting me like a goddamn animal, she told me what to do and where to go to get away. She taught me, trained me and turned me into the warrior I am today...But I wouldn't have met her if it wasn't for you. You helped to create me, Hatake, and as before, I thank you for that. But make no mistake; I will _never_ forget what you did, nor will I forgive it."

Kakashi cursed mentally; this wasn't working! All he was doing was steeling Naruto's resolve to hold a grudge against him until the end of days.

"Naruto...You said it before: I'm a liar. My words are hollow, and my word means nothing. You're right, actions tell the real story...Hopefully, my actions here today will convince us both of my sincerity." as he reached into his pocket, Kakashi saw Naruto tense up, obviously expecting some underhanded ploy. "Here…" he slowly pulled out the scroll and tossed it to the masked boy.

Catching it almost on reflex, Naruto held it at arm's length, not at all trusting it or the man who gave it to him.

"And what kind of bomb is this?" he asked half-sarcastically.

Kakashi chuckled humorlessly. "I suppose you could call it a type of bomb...It's a document, a legal document."

"Oh? Am I being served?" Naruto scoffed, then tilted his head curiously when Kakashi unzipped his flak vest and took it off, tossing it carelessly to the ground. It was followed by his forehead protector, which was set down in a far more careful manner. When Kakashi pulled his mask down, Naruto started to get just a _little_ freaked out.

Though he noticed that Kakashi seemed to wear a mask for much the same reason Naruto wore his: to keep potential fangirls at bay.

"I'm taking responsibility for my actions. By not doing anything, I might as well have lit the fire myself. That being the case, I offer myself up for whatever punishment you see fit. Take my eye, take my head, cut off my limbs and watch me bleed out; it doesn't matter. Consider that document in your hand to be the ultimate Hold Harmless Agreement. It will legally absolve you of anything you decide to do to me." having said his peace, Kakashi spread his arms out to his sides, showing that he was unarmed and unwilling to fight.

Completely vulnerable.

Eyes widening behind his mask, Naruto's breath hitched as he scrambled to open the scroll, being careful not to tear it in his haste. As he read through it, again and again, he could barely bring himself to believe it. It was, indeed, the ultimate Hold Harmless Agreement. Based on some of the oldest clan laws, it was a contract that was part of a practice meant to prevent or cease Blood Feuds.

When a member of one clan grievously wronged someone from another, retribution was demanded. And when the demand wasn't met, thus began a Blood Feud; basically a civil war between the two clans that could last for generations. If an agreement wasn't reached, then it would continue until the last members of either, or sometimes even both clans were gone.

The contract Naruto was holding was part of one of the agreements that could be put forward. Usually, the clan of the one wronged could be appeased with "gifts" of money and/or assets. But every now and then, usually in the case of someone being killed, blood was the only thing that could sate their appetite for vengeance. In that case, the clan of the wrongdoer could chose to turn him/her over to the other clan, to face whatever punishment awaited them without question or consequence.

As of right now, Naruto could literally maim and mutilate Kakashi to his heart's content, and there wasn't a damn thing anyone could do about it.

He honestly questioned the Copy-nin's sanity at this point. But at the same time, Naruto felt a good deal of his hatred give way to...respect.

Summoning a Darkness Clone, Naruto handed the contract to it. "I want that thing put in an air-tight, blast-proof container. Now." after a nod and a salute, the clone was gone, rushing to carry out its orders. After it departed, Naruto reached into the left side of his jacket and pulled out the Black Soul.

Kakashi saw this, but didn't so much as blink. Nor did he make any attempt to struggle when two more Naruto clones grabbed his arms to hold him in place. Even when Naruto unsheathed his sword, which seemed to glow at the prospect of tasting flesh, Kakashi refused to give into any fear that he felt. He deserved this.

Naruto pointed the sword at the Jōnin, resting the tip on his throat. The blade was so sharp, it actually drew a bit of blood just from the slight contact.

"...Why are you doing this?" Naruto couldn't help but ask.

Kakashi was a man who had a lot to be proud of already, and was still in the prime of his life. The universe willing, he probably had a couple decades left to go in his ninja career, and would likely be in the running for the title of Hokage at some point down the road. Yet here he was, committing suicide. This all just seemed too ridiculous to be real, but there was no Genjutsu at work, and it certainly wasn't a dream.

Kakashi looked Naruto dead in the eyes. "I already told you: I'm sorry."

Naruto's arm twitched involuntarily, pushing the tip of his blade ever so slightly deeper into the man's neck.

"Right..."

"I...I do have on request..."

"...What?" Naruto asked warily.

"Can I at least see the face of the man who's going to kill me?" Kakashi had no idea why he wanted to see Naruto's face, he just did. He chalked it up to mere curiosity, seeing as how he hadn't seen Naruto without the mask in six years.

"A strange final request...But one I can abide by." and with that, Naruto removed his mask in a public setting for the first time in some four years.

Kakashi let out an odd noise, a cross between a strangled gasp and a squeak. The boy looked so much like his father, it was downright scary.

"Well...Now I know why you where that mask." Kakashi said, managing to smile despite the predicament he willingly put himself in. "Goodbye, Naruto. I truly wish things had been different...Who knows, maybe in another life, I did my job and kept you safe...Maybe even adopted you." he actually laughed at the idea of Naruto calling him "Dad".

"Yeah, and maybe in another life I'm a naive, idiotic midget who dresses like a clown and uses a meaningless catchphrase with every other sentence I say." Naruto felt a strange chill go up his spine. He'd had a nightmare like that once. "Goodbye...Kakashi."

In the blink of an eye, the sword was brought up, then came down across Kakashi's chest diagonally, from his left shoulder, to his right hip. Cloth, skin, muscle and bone provided no more resistance than the air itself. Blood spurted freely from the massive wound, and a bit of severed intestine peeked out, as if curious about this new realm of daylight and air it suddenly had access to.

Strangely, there was no pain, only a sense of numbing cold and extreme fatigue.

'So, this is what it feels like to die?' Kakashi thought, surprisingly lucid, all things considered. He noted that Naruto's clones had yet to release him. 'Oh well, Naruto's probably not done with me yet...I'm sure he'd rather have me alive for it, but this is the end for me...Father...I tried so hard not to be like you...What is that saying? People often meet their fate on the path they take to avoid it...Truer words have never been spoken.'

As Kakashi Hatake slipped from the mortal coil, his senses started to fail him one by one. After his vision went black, only sound remained, and the last thing he heard was an angry curse.

"Fuck, I cut too deep..."

XXXX

Whew, this chapter was troublesome. But I actually enjoyed writing it once everything was sorted out. Some of the things here sent shivers down my spine as I wrote them, and that's how I knew I had something good.

So, what do you guys think of Sakura and Sasuke's improvements? Not too shabby, if I do say so myself. I liked the fight scene, but I feel I could've done more with it. Unfortunately, neither Sakura nor Sasuke are at a level where they'd present a legitimate threat to Akiko if she decided to get serious, so I was kind of limited. I didn't want to hand Akiko the Idiot Ball and let her run with it, forcing her to do stupid things just to make those two look better. I did what I could with what I had, but I'm still sort of on the fence about it overall. Loved writing the ending, though. Perhaps now people will stop asking me to kill Sakura off...

How about Kakashi's "apology"? I hope it lived up to expectations.

As I hope most of you know, the Kurama Clan Arc won out in the poll. Originally, it was supposed to be part of this chapter. However, I came up with a whole mess of stuff for the arc, and decided that it needed its own specific chapter in the story. So, next chapter is the Kurama Clan mini-arc. Then will come a chapter mostly detailing what the other teams in Konoha are doing to prepare for the exams. Call it filler, I don't care. THEN we come to the moment you've all been waiting for: the beginning of the Chūnin Exam Arc!

On an unrelated note, I'm sure you've all noticed the changes made to this site over the past couple months. I don't particularly care about them, but there is one that I kinda like, and that's the active review management thing. Sure, it allows anonymous reviews, but it also allows you to get rid of them right off the bat. And trust me, I will be doing so for people who leave nonsensical or douchebag-y "reviews". I will also be deleting guest reviews asking questions. If you don't have an account, I can't answer anything.

(1) I know, pretty weird to have a chapter start out two hours BEFORE the previous chapter ended, but it didn't really fit in with the previous chapter. Here, I felt it set the tone for the this chapter, telling you that it's not gonna be all about Naruto. Plus, people have been asking me to give the Orasu sisters and Seizonsha some more screentime.

(2) I think the proper past-tense of "hamstring" is "hamstrung", but...it just doesn't sound right. Not that "hamstringed" sounds any better...

(3) In-canon, Hiashi's overall is a 30(29.5 pre-Shippuden)according to the data books. This puts him in the upper-rankings of Konoha's Jōnin, so saying that he was one of the best in his prime isn't much of an exaggeration. However, he's even stronger in this story.

(4) Hinata only told Hiashi that she had used an "Advanced Henge" to turn into a giant spider, in an attempt to throw Naruto off his game when he attacked her. So he's still in the dark about the whole half-demon thing.

(5) As far as I know, chakra poisoning is not canon, but it's been mentioned in several stories that I've read. In this fic, it works as follows: When a foreign energy enters the body, the natural chakra rushes in to contain it. Basically, it "grabs" the foreign chakra and drags it into the person's core, where it can be effectively contained. Once it's subdued, the person's natural chakra takes small chunks of the foreign chakra and carries them to the tenketsu points, where it can be safely pushed out. Every now and then, the foreign chakra will attempt to break free from the core, which results in the natural chakra rushing back to contain it, effectively draining the person's coils in seconds and causing extreme fatigue.

In more severe cases, the "immune system" goes nuts, frantically scrambling to expel as much of the foreign energy as possible, as quickly as possible. So, instead of pushing out small bits of the offending energy, it violently ejects much larger portions. Basically like explosive charges going off under your skin. Needless to say, it's an unpleasant condition.

(6) Some people seem to have forgotten it, but Hinata's love for Naruto is NOT just some out-of-the-blue thing, or a case of extreme admiration. They have history together, though Naruto has only recently recovered his memories of it.

(7) I know I've exaggerated Neji's pre-Chūnin Exam assholery, but it's for the sake of the story...And to enhance that sense of karmic retribution when he finally gets his ass kicked.

(8) Hinata's mother has no canon name thus far, so I gave her one I thought would fit with both her personality and the "light" theme with Hyūga names. "Mitsuko" means "light child" or "shining child".

(9) According to the data books, Kakashi doesn't like sweet foods, so him not liking apples is basically canon.

(10) Seriously, all those white circles on Sakura's outfit just screamed "target practice". And putting a large, red and white symbol on your back, pretty much directly over your heart, is just asking for trouble. I feel the same way about the Uzumaki swirl on the back of Konoha's flak vests; what kind of ninja would intentionally put targets on themselves? I could understand if it was on their sleeve, or something, but it's on their back; right over their spine. If someone hit that thing dead-center and got some decent penetration, they'd probably paralyze the poor fool from the neck down. Rest assured, once Naruto joins the Council, he'll be bringing that up.

(11) I always liked Genma. Not sure why, but he just struck me as a cool guy. Unfortunately, his skills don't really back that up. Why he's supposedly part of the Hokage's personal bodyguard service, despite being a Tokubetsu Jōnin, is beyond me. While he's not one of the Hokage's bodyguards in this fic, he has been given a boost in power and skill, as well as full-on Jōnin status. Along with that, I gave an...interesting quirk. If you guys want it, I might do an omake detailing the 214 times he headbutted Sasuke.

(12) As a pro wrestling fan, I have to include at least a couple Chokeslams in this story. Look out for some German Suplexes and perhaps a Powerbomb or two. Of course, these will be delivered by characters besides A and Killer B.

(13) Fire Release: Fire Clone. Though they're more like fire golems or elementals, it's classified as a physical clone technique. They can be created out of any source of fire, and are purely for combat. The fact that they're literally made of fire obviously makes them worthless for most mundane tasks. They rely on a chakra shell to maintain their form, which can be disrupted with a single solid blow, causing them to disperse, much like Shadow Clones. However, when they're forced to dispel, they explode in a respectable fireball, making them dangerous even in "death" and perfect for kamikaze-type tactics.

I guess that's about it. If you got questions, ask(if you have an account); you guys know the drill by now.

Jason Out!


	42. Guess What? Headbutt!

What's up boys and girls? You guys wanted it, so here it is, the headbutt omake! Except, it's not really an "outtake" now. I was stuck on this for a while, and as the days turned into weeks, which turned into months, I decided to make this something more. Something worth the wait. So, it's not a legitimate chapter, fully detailed and fleshed out. Yes, it is filler, BUT, there's some real substance to this, especially in regards to character development for Sasuke. The goal was to make him more interesting, if not more likable.

This chapter also gave me an opportunity to explain some things that I never really found a place for in earlier chapters. So all in all, I'm happy with this, and I hope you'll be as well.

Keep in mind that this takes place during the Kumo Arc, and all events and explanations are canon to the story. Also, if anyone would like to suggest a better title for the chapter, feel free.

That said, enjoy the show!

XXXX

**Day One**

(Uchiha Compound - Private Training Ground, 7:52am)(1)

We find Sasuke Uchiha in his backyard, honing his throwing skills on static targets. He'd admit that it didn't serve much purpose in term of practical training, but making designs on the logs and training dummies with kunai was the closest thing to a hobby he had.

"Uchiha-sama, Hatake Kakashi is here to see you." a feminine voice came out of nowhere, startling Sasuke just as he was about to make a "trick throw".

Turning around, Sasuke saw one of the "maids" hired by the Council to maintain the Uchiha grounds. He still wasn't used to having them around, especially since he rarely saw them during his walks throughout the compound. They were the kind of maids that were supposed to be out of sight and non-disruptive, and appeared to have some ninja training. You'd never have the slightest clue they were around, until you spilled or broke something. Then they'd be right there in the blink of an eye to clean it up, and be gone just as fast. It was actually pretty unnerving, them being able to sneak around undetected like that.

"...I'll be right there." Sasuke said, watching the maid like a hawk. The woman seemed to realize this, and just stood there, smiling pleasantly. Then, after twenty full seconds, Sasuke was forced to blink when the breeze blew a bit of dust into his eyes. By the time he opened them again, she was gone. "Dammit..." Sasuke was determined to find out how they did it.

Three minutes later, Sasuke was sitting at a rather large dining table, across from his sensei, eating a tomato sandwich. He'd offered the man one, but Kakashi had politely declined.

"What did you want to see me about?" Sasuke asked, suddenly feeling like something was...off.

"I'm on the clock, so I'll make this quick." Kakashi started. "I've been chosen for an S-Class mission by the Hokage himself, and I'll be heading out in about twenty minutes."

"How long?"

"Who knows? I'm part of an escort team for the Hokage; he's going to a conduct negotiations with a village that's been quite hostile towards us for...well, forever, really. It's a very delicate situation, and there's no telling how long it'll take. Could be a couple days, could be a couple weeks." Kakashi shrugged.

"I see...So, who's going to be training me while you're gone? I know Sakura's got another sensei." Sasuke knew who it was going to be...He was just hoping against hope that it would be someone else.

"Genma seems to be doing a fine job, and he's doing it for free!" Kakashi eye-smiled. "You've made some great improvements since you started training under him, don't you agree?"

"...It's not the results I question; it's the methods used to get them." Sasuke grumbled, taking another bite out of his sandwich.

"Well, you ARE always asking for more intense training, so..." Kakashi trailed off with a slight snicker.

Sasuke's first thought was to say "Yes, training; not abuse thinly disguised as training", but he banished the notion quickly. All training was abuse; that was the point. Pushing and bending and beating your body, all for the sake of making it stronger, tougher and faster. And in that regard, Genma was a master sensei. He abused the hell out of you, forcing you to adapt. Then he'd start the next round, turning you into a better shinobi with every step.

But that didn't mean it was fun getting the shit kicked out of you for hours on end everyday, being constantly mocked and ridiculed all the while.

Sasuke let out a sigh and pinched the bridge of his nose. "So, where is he, then?"

Kakashi went to answer, then looked around in confusion. "Uh...He _was_ right here...I know he came in with me..."

"...You mean that maniac is wandering around my home unsupervised?" Sasuke twitched.

"Well, not _totally_ unsupervised; I'm sure those maids of yours are keeping an eye on him." Kakashi pointed out.

Sasuke blinked. He hadn't thought of that.

"You have a point...Well, good luck on your mission, I guess."

"Ah, careful, Sasuke." Kakashi replied with his signature eye-smile. "Your 'cool guy' reputation would take quite a hit if anyone heard you say something like that."

"Tch, don't let it go to your head. If you were to die, there's no one else in Konoha who could help me with the Sharingan." Sasuke grimaced lightly as he said that. It wasn't just Konoha; there was no one else in the WORLD who could help him if Kakashi were to perish.

His own brother had made sure of that.

"Right...Well, see you when I see you!" the silver-haired Jōnin bid his student farewell with a wave and another smile, before standing up and showing himself out.

When he heard the door open, then close, Sasuke let out a deep sigh and lean back in his chair. While there were worse ways to start off a day, knowing that you'd be stuck with a psycho for an indefinite period of time was certainly right up there. As he stood up, Sasuke rubbed his face tiredly. Now that the adrenaline from training had worn off, he was starting to feel the normal effects of getting up at five in the morning.

But just two seconds after he started walking, he bumped into something. Something that wasn't supposed to be there. Sasuke knew his home so well that he could walk the halls blindfolded; he'd actually done it before. Taking his hands away from his face, the first thing he saw was the zipper of a standard Konoha flak jacket. He knew exactly who was wearing it, and knew that the best option was to just run. But he didn't. Call it morning fatigue, morbid curiosity, or just plain stupidity, but something caused Sasuke to not only stay where he was, but to look up into the face of the "intruder".

"...Goddammit." the Uchiha muttered, then crumpled to the floor as a headbutt laid him out cold.

"Good morning to you, too." Genma sniffed, shifting his trademark senbon from the right corner of his mouth to the left.

"Kakashi, my Eternal Rival!" the bandana-wearing Jōnin looked up as he heard the typically-loud voice of the man who called himself the "Green Beast of Konoha". "What are you doing all the way out here?! We've got a mission to report for!"

"Yeah, I know, I was ju-HEY! What are you doing?! Gai, no, put me down! Gai?! GAAAAIIIIIIIIiiiiiiiii..." Kakashi's scream trailed off, lowering in volume until it died out completely as he got out of range.

Genma chuckled heartily and looked down at his unconscious student. "See? You got off easy with me, kid. Things could've been a whole lot worse." his chuckling turned into full-blown guffaws as he thought of Sasuke trying to look "cool" and broody while being decked out in tight, green spandex.

He then proceeded to step over Sasuke's body and raid the boy's fridge.

(One Hour Later)

Genma sat the kitchen table, calmly eating the full-course breakfast he had made for himself. Taking a bite of a piece of bacon, fried to crisp perfection if he did say so himself, the Jōnin leaned over to look at the downed Uchiha.

"Y'know," Genma started before taking another bite of bacon, "playing dead only works with bears."

"..." Sasuke didn't respond.

"...I'm not gonna go away just because you're ignoring me."

"Would you go away if I paid you?" Sasuke finally spoke, though remained on the floor with his eyes closed.

"Tempting, but no. If Kakashi sees that you've made no progress when he gets back, you're not the one whose ass he's gonna to ride for it. And I'd still owe him for..." Genma trailed off with a deep frown.

"Owe him for...what?" Sasuke asked, cracking one eye open to look at the older male.

"None of your business, kid. Now, you want breakfast or not?"

Grumbling something obscene to himself, Sasuke stood up and took chair. Upon sitting down, he was surprised to see three plates lying at the center of the table. The first was covered edge-to-edge in steaming scrambled eggs. The second, piled with what looked like half a pig's worth of bacon. And the third, stacked with an entire loaf of bread, toasted golden-brown.

However, surprise soon gave way to anger.

"This...was supposed to last an entire month..." Sasuke glared. He had just restocked the fridge a week ago, and now it looked like he would have to go shopping again. He hated shopping.

"Hm, looks like you'll have to brave the horrors of the outdoors ahead of schedule." Genma smirked. "You could use a little sun, anyway."

"My complexion is fine just the way it is." Sasuke huffed and started spooning eggs onto his own plate.

"Since when is pale and pasty considered 'fine'?"

"I am not pasty!"

"But you admit to being pale?"

"The term is 'fair-skinned'! My mother had the same complexion; are you calling her 'pale and pasty'?" Sasuke growled, jabbing his fork aggressively in Genma's direction.

"Not at all. It looks good on women, your mom especially." Genma was sorely tempted to make a MILF joke, but even he knew there were some lines you just didn't cross. "But on guys? Half the time, it looks like you're wearing geisha makeup." the Jōnin nearly choked on a piece of toast when an image of Sasuke dressed as a geisha flashed before his mind's eye.

"Now you're just being an asshole."

"And? That doesn't make it untrue. When you turn on that Sharingan of yours, you could easily be mistaken for an albino."

Sasuke pointed to his jet-black hair, something no albino would ever have.

"An albino with a bad wig." Genma shrugged.

"Please. Coming from someone who hides most of his hair under a bandana, that means nothing." Sasuke scoffed before eating a forkful of eggs, his eyes widening at the taste.

Genma allowed himself a small, self-satisfied smile when the black-haired boy began shoveling the food in, table manners all but forgotten.

"I'm not hiding anything; I wear the bandana because I like it. But even if I was hiding something, I can guarantee it wouldn't look as bad as...whatever it is you call that 'style' if yours." the man gestured to Sasuke's hair with his fork, chuckling when the boy flinched at the sudden movement. "I wondered why you had so many eggs, but now I know; they came from that chicken's ass on your head!" Genma cackled, his senbon somehow staying stuck on his bottom lip even with his mouth wide open.

Sasuke was tempted to throw an eating utensil, but thought better of it. It wouldn't hit, anyway, and would probably end up being thrown back at him.

And so, for the next half hour, student and substitute sensei had a relatively normal breakfast, with the comfortable silence broken only a few times by Genma's "observations" and criticisms about...everything. He even saw fit to make fun of the way Sasuke chewed. But the boy dealt with it. If nothing else, it would prepare him for Naruto's frequent barbs whenever Team Seven got back together, which he hoped was soon.

He didn't at all miss his monster of a teammate, but without a third member, their team didn't qualify for anything higher than D-Class missions, and Sasuke was getting fed up with it. He was a shinobi, dammit! A trained fighter; a killer! Not a goddamned gardener, babysitter or dog-walker!

"What's on the schedule for today?" Sasuke asked as he took his now empty plated to the sink.

"Taijutsu." Genma answered, leaving his plate on the table.

"_More_ Taijutsu?" Sasuke groaned.

"Hey, I already told you why we need to focus on it."

"'Ninety-five percent of all battles between ninjas are fought primarily at close range, using armed or unarmed CQC techniques'." Sasuke replied, quoting what Genma had told him on the first day of training. "I've heard it all before, but I'm already more than proficient in Taijutsu. What I'm NOT proficient in are seal-less Ninjutsu techniques."(2)

"See, that right there is why I keep hammering the importance of Taijutsu into your head. You just don't get it." Genma pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed, a telltale sign he was going into "Lecture Mode". "Taijutsu training isn't just about knowing how to fight; it's about complete physical conditioning. Strength, speed, stamina, durability, reflexes; these are the things that every ninja needs. Far more important than knowing a thousand techniques, and even Kakashi will vouch for that. Want more proof? Look at the Academy. Even with the standards at the bottom of the barrel everywhere else, Taijutsu is the one area where they don't screw around. It may not count for a whole lot towards your final grade, but they take that physical training seriously."

"And I was at the top of the class in Taijutsu." Sasuke reminded his replacement sensei.

"Second from the top." Genma corrected.

Sasuke's eyes narrowed. "Check the records, I was number one."

"Only because Namikaze was marked down for using 'excessive force'." the Jōnin shrugged, unimpressed by the Uchiha's glare. "You can give me the stinkeye all you want, it won't change anything. I'm not here to stroke your ego and bolster your self-esteem; I'm not one of your little sycophantic ass-kissers. I'm here to turn you into the best damn shinobi I can, within the time allotted, and telling you what you want to hear is NOT part of the process. I'm going to tell you what you NEED to hear, starting with this: Namikaze is better than you, plain and simple. The sooner you accept that, the sooner you can work towards closing the gap between the two of you...Assuming it's even possible, of course."

Sasuke knew he shouldn't have let it get to him. He knew that Genma was just trying to bait him into doing something stupid. That was his game, that was always his game. But he fell for it anyway, allowing his anger to get the better of him.

Genma smirked as he easily halted the punch aimed at his nose be grabbing Sasuke's wrist. Quick as a blink, he wrenched the boy's arm to the side and lashed out with a high roundhouse kick, his smirk widening when Sasuke tilted his entire upper body to avoid it, and used the momentum to perform an aerial cartwheel as the leg passed over him. The motion forced Genma to let go of his wrist and hop back to dodge the acrobatic kick that accompanied the maneuver.

Not giving the boy a chance to reconsider what he was doing, the older shinobi rushed forward to bury his right knee in Sasuke's abdomen. In another display of the grace and fluidity characteristic of the Uchiha's traditional Taijutsu styles, Sasuke literally rolled through the attack, almost curling his body completely around Genma's leg to land on his feet behind his sensei. A back kick aimed at the man's right kidney never met its mark as Genma twisted around it and grabbed the offending leg. With an almighty swing, the Jōnin launched Sasuke towards the wall next to the refrigerator.

He was almost surprised when the Genin impacted the wall feet-first and used it as a springboard. A week ago, Sasuke would've gone through the wall.

As Sasuke came flying back like a rocket, Genma literally snatched him out of the air, grabbing his arm and throwing him to the floor. But, in another impressive display of acrobatics, Sasuke twisted his body violently while grabbing hold of Genma's vest. The older male just barely avoided crashing face-first into the door of the oven by the sheer torque of Sasuke's spin. Both were somewhat disoriented by what had happened, with Sasuke on the floor and Genma kneeling in front of the oven and bracing himself on the stovetop. It didn't take them long to gather themselves and, without really even looking at their targets, they both hopped to their feet and charged one another. The end result was a stalemate, with both having blocked each other's punches. Genma clutched Sasuke's left arm by the wrist, while Sasuke did the same with Genma's left arm. What followed was a brief test of strength, which the Jōnin could've won at any time, but the Genin still put up a respectable fight.

"Now do you see the benefits of physical conditioning? Just a week ago, you wouldn't have been able to do even half of that." Genma said with a small smile.

"...I suppose you've got a poi-!" Sasuke didn't get to finish, as Genma suddenly pulled him right into a headbutt.

"But you've still got a long way to go." he laughed as he stepped over Sasuke's supine form. "To the dojo!"

The Uchiha didn't respond, apparently unconscious.

Genma wasn't buying it. "You can either walk there, or I can drag you."

"...Hn." Sasuke grunted before sitting up.

(Uchiha Clan Dojo - 10:55am)

Sasuke panted heavily as he stood near the dojo's Western wall, opposite his sensei, a kunai gripped loosely in his right hand. Two hours. Just two hours of Genma's Taijutsu training, and the Uchiha was already a light breeze away from falling over. Sasuke's entire body hurt. Muscles and joints screamed in protest with every movement, and he had bruises in places he'd rather not think about. But none of it held a candle to the boy's throbbing head.

Sasuke had overheard older ninjas talk about hangovers and the accompanying headaches, and he imagined this was much the same. He could hear is heartbeat pounding away, with pulses of pain and a sense of rising pressure in perfect synch. His skull felt like an over-inflated ball, and he was nearly to the point of wanted to perform a self-trephination just to get some relief.

However, Sasuke was proud of himself. He'd lasted nearly a full half-hour longer than the last time, and had only suffered fifteen headbutts, as opposed to thirty-six. Add to that the fact that he was still standing, if just barely, and you had clear, undeniable progress. He was getting stronger, faster, better, all thanks to Genma's "unorthodox" training methods. And though he'd never admit it, Sasuke knew that the senbon-chewing Jōnin was the perfect sensei for him.

Throughout his life, Sasuke had been trained by several people, and he had one common complaint about every one of them: they coddled him too much. They thought they knew his limits better than he did, and would always call off the training "for his own good". His father, his cousin Shisui, Kakashi and even Itachi; they were all the same. They would see his fatigue and tell him to quit. They never allowed for one last Great Fireball, or one last spar. They never let him go that one step further to surpass his limits and set new ones. In Sasuke's mind, that was no way to improve; it was a recipe for disaster. It was stagnation. And in the ever-changing, ever-evolving world they lived in, stagnation was a death sentence. Natural selection at its finest: Those who couldn't keep up with the environment around them were left behind and died out. Sasuke Uchiha would be damned if he allowed himself to be left behind, ironically, because of the very people who were supposed to help him stay ahead of the curve.

Then, as if Kami himself had read his mind, Genma Shiranui was brought into his life. A man who readily admitted that he didn't give a damn about Sasuke, the Uchiha clan or their reputation. As he'd said, he was contracted by Kakashi to do one job: make Sasuke stronger. And he would do that job the best way he knew how, regardless of whether Sasuke didn't like it. Hell, _especially_ if Sasuke didn't like it. To that end, he would work the boy until he dropped. And if the Uchiha was still conscious and lucid enough to demand it, he'd give him a Soldier Pill and they'd pick up where they left off. Genma relied on Sasuke setting his own limits, and having enough sense to not train himself to death. Precisely what Sasuke wanted in a teacher.

But he'd take a kunai to the eye before he told the man that.

"You look about ready to pass out." Genma observed dryly. "Should I call a maid to help you to your room? Maybe tuck you in and read you a story?" while he may have let Sasuke set his own limits, he'd admit he took joy, probably more than he should've, in goading the boy into pushing himself even more. Sometimes he told himself it was to help the Uchiha to control his temper. But other times, he conceded that it was just fun to torment a guy who didn't know when to crank the dial back. If Sasuke did learn to reign himself in, that would just be a bonus, and he could brag about how that had been his goal all along.

Showing yet another sign of progress, Sasuke did in fact keep his cool, merely scoffing at the remark.

"Piss off. Since _someone_ saw fit to cook nearly a month's worth of food all at once, I need to go shopping again."

"I didn't hear any complaints when you were stuffing your face."

"Well you're hearing it now. Give me a Soldier Pill so I can get on with my day."

"I already put one in your pocket." Genma said, patting his own right hip pocket.

"What? When did y-!" Sasuke was interrupted by a headbutt the instant he took his eyes off his sensei.

"Rule number one: Never let your guard down. Ever." Genma admonished before fishing a pill out of a vest pocket and dropping it on his student.

"...I'll keep that in mind..." Sasuke grumbled as he chewed on the bitter gumball-looking thing.

"Damn right you will." Genma kept his devious grin unseen as he left the dojo. Soon, it would be time for the highlight of his day.

(Shopping District - 12:00pm)

Sasuke looked over his shoulder for what had to be the twentieth time in the past five minutes. Something wasn't right, and it went beyond the "normal" feeling of being watched by the beady little eyes of fangirls.

The Uchiha quickly checked his list to see how much more he needed to pick up.

"All that's left are the tomatoes..." he trailed off as he looked down the street ahead of him. Even though it was only about a block until he got to his preferred vegetable market, it seemed like the road stretched on for miles. Miles of open terrain, with no cover or hiding spots. Regardless of the street being lined with stores and merchant stalls, and bustling with shoppers, it still had a foreboding atmosphere about it. There might as well have been a sign in the ground next to him reading: "Warning: Ambush Ahead".

Now one might ask, "Well, why doesn't he just go somewhere else?" The simple answer was that it wasn't an option, not for Sasuke. Hideki, the farmer who grew Sasuke's preferred veggies, was one of the few people the Uchiha could honestly claim to be fond of, and he grew the best damn produce in the entire village. Why, the first time Sasuke had tasted one of the tomatoes from his farm, he'd had to take a seat before his legs gave out.

Hideki himself was particularly proud of his tomatoes, and claimed that they were so good, they could turn a shark into a vegetarian. In Sasuke's opinion, it wasn't an exaggeration. For those delicacies, he would run the gauntlet.

"Alright, Sasuke," the Uchiha muttered to himself, "man up and let's do this." he took a deep breath and began his trek, mentally vowing to get someone to teach him the Body Flicker.

Luckily, the trip was made without incident, and Sasuke couldn't keep the smile off his face when he saw the large crate full of big, bright red tomatoes front and center. Looking over, he saw that Hideki was busy with another customer, so they just nodded to one another before Sasuke got to work. Onyx eyes scrutinized every fruit, picking out even the slightest hints of bruising, indentations and/or discoloration. But, as usual, the vast majority were flawless, and the ones that weren't appeared to have been damaged recently. Sasuke grimaced as he looked at one particularly ripe-looking tomato that would've been a top pick if not for the small, crescent-shaped puncture left by someone's fingernail.(3)

Shaking his head, the boy dropped the damaged fruit into a nearby waste bin, then reached for an equally appealing tomato and checked it over. Perfect. He placed it in a carrying basket and picked out another. The process continued until he had eleven, but when he went for an even dozen, a higher power decided that the "last" Uchiha having a good day was unacceptable. As Sasuke picked up the last tomato, he felt that it weighed more than it should have, and that it was wet. Turning it over, he discovered a senbon needle impaled about halfway into it.

He looked back down to the crate in confusion, and not even a second later all hell broke loose. The crate exploded, tomatoes flying all around, both startling and horrifying Sasuke. But he didn't have time to dwell on it, as his nose suddenly erupted in pain and he was sent to the ground.

As Hideki ran over and started screaming about bombs and assassination attempts, Sasuke felt tears welling up in his eyes, and it wasn't just because of his nose. On the ground all around him were ruined tomatoes, their delicious juices spilling from their ruptured bodies and staining the ground, like corpses on a battlefield. Cut down in their prime for the sake of a madman's amusement. But even as he vowed to avenge them, one question stood at the forefront in his mind: How the hell did Genma get into a tomato crate?

(Konoha Theater - 1:10pm)

Sasuke had no idea what possessed him to do it, but he was going to see a movie. After the "incident" at the market, the Uchiha had still gotten his baker's dozen of tomatoes and made it back home without further problems. But from there, Sasuke found himself in a strange state where he was too tired to want to do anything, yet had too much energy to take a nap. Boredom quickly set in, and it got to the point where he actually wished Genma was there, just so something would happen. That scared him enough to make him get up off his ass and find a way to occupy himself until something better came along.

It was then that he realized the true value of having a legitimate hobby. Because outside of training, he had nothing. He didn't watch TV or play video games, and while some of his deceased clansmen did have movies, his collection was far from extensive, and he'd seen them all at least a dozen times over the years. He didn't draw, he didn't paint, he didn't take pictures, watch birds or catch bugs, and, by his own choices, he had no social life to speak of. This had never been a problem in the past, as his daily routine had consisted of waking up, training, going to the academy, training some more, then sleeping. There was really nothing in between besides meals, and sometimes he'd even skip those in favor of training.

But that was before he starting learning under Kakashi and Genma. Before them, Sasuke had hit a plateau in his solo training; a point where nothing he did seemed to have any effect on his strength and ability. It frustrated him to no end, and it was that anger that made him keep at it. Even in his downtime, his thoughts were consumed by possible reasons for the road block, and strategies for getting around or through it. Back then, boredom was never a problem, as he had his training and never had, or made, time for anything else.

Now, however, with such effective tutoring, Sasuke found himself being...content by the time training sessions ended. Gone were the days of busting his ass from dawn 'til dusk and getting nowhere. Now he could train for just two hours and see significant improvements. And with the intensity of his new regimens, he had to pace himself. So now, instead of long bouts of training, punctuated by an hour or two of "recovery time", the system was flipped on its head. The byproduct: loads of free time, with no pastimes.

"Maybe I should take up gardening or something..." Sasuke mumbled to himself as he looked at the display for what was playing at the theater. Everyone had a hobby, as far as he knew. Even Naruto said he was a "collector", though the thought of what kind of "collection" someone like him would have sent a chill up the Uchiha's spine. Whatever it was, it sure as hell couldn't have been bottle caps or stamps.

After a couple minutes of looking over the day's films, Sasuke settled on the latest action flick from Director Stephen Marks(4). Arguably the world's most famous, and controversial, Director, he hailed from a relatively small town on Fire Country's Southern coast. A former Bingo Book photographer, he'd witnessed some truly despicable things in his time, and used them as the basis for most of his movies, especially for the main villains. Those firsthand experiences allowed for the trademark realism of his movies, as well as his habit of casting real ninjas, both retired and active, to basically play themselves on camera. Let it be known that, by their very nature as spies and covert assassins, ninjas made fantastic actors. This, combined with state-of-the-art effects, which often weren't really effects, but actual shinobi techniques, smart storylines and breathtaking settings gave Marks the distinction of being a Director who had never made a bad movie.

From his breakout hit, "Cat & Mouse", to number seventeen, "No Place For Heroes 2: Soldiers of Fortune", which Sasuke was about to get a ticket for. They all received nearly universal critical acclaim and were always shoo-ins at award shows.

Not that Sasuke really cared about that; he just thought it was the only thing on the marquee that looked interesting. That, and the horror movie "Crossroads", but the next showing wasn't until 3:30pm. But as he stood in line for his chosen film, he started to have doubts. Seeing an action movie based on ninjas would likely just remind him of what he himself could've been out doing if not for his team being on some kind of odd "semi-hiatus".

Really, what the hell was Naruto off doing that was so important that he couldn't join the team for a mission every now and then? He was just fine doing a mission with Team Eight, but his own teammates hadn't seen hide nor hair of him in nearly a month. Of course, he wasn't exactly missed, but they did need him if they didn't want to be stuck doing odd jobs around the village. Even Kakashi didn't seem to know what was up, and the Hokage wouldn't give them a straight answer when they asked. Neither would the "friends" Naruto had made in Wave Country, or the leather-clad mystery woman who was sometimes with the other girls.

Sasuke sighed as he finally made it to the box office. Whatever Naruto was up to, it didn't matter much at this point. Either Naruto would return and Team Seven would be back on the active roster, or the team would be disbanded and Sakura and Sasuke reassigned. The latter would've happened earlier, if not for the fact that no active teams had room for them, nor were they keen on making room for them. Sakura was far too green, and Sasuke's arrogance and anti-social behavior weren't things any established team wanted to deal with.

"Ah, Uchiha-sama!" the woman at the booth, looked to be in her late teens at most, all but squealed when she caught sight of her next customer. "What brings you here?"

"...No Place For Heroes 2." Sasuke deadpanned.

"What?"

"The movie..."

"Oh! O-Of course, the movie! Why else would you be at a MOVIE theater? Hello, Aya!" the ticket girl, Aya, rambled and smacked herself on the side of the head. The look on her face immediately after indicated that she did it a bit harder than intended.

Sasuke was suddenly very thankful for the impact-resistant glass between the two of them.

'I knew I should've used a Henge...' he thought as he paid for his ticket and quickly took it from the tray underneath the glass.

Looking the piece of paper over, Sasuke's brow furrowed in confusion. The movie was playing in a room marked "A-24" on the stub, but what did the "A" stand for? Looking around, he saw that none of the other rooms he could see were marked with letters, only numbers. Just as he was about to ask someone, he spied a map next to the food kiosks. His brow furrowed once more; apparently "A" stood for "Adult". Then again, it wasn't too surprising; the first "No Place For Heroes" had been rated NC-17 due to its hyper-realistic depictions of violence, wartime atrocities and all-around disturbing content.

After nearly ten minutes of searching, Sasuke finally found room A-24, tucked away in dimly-lit hallway at what had to be the very rear of the building. There was no way such a popular movie would be playing in a place like this, right? This looked like the place where they played cinematic turds; the movies so bad that they were deemed unworthy of being shown alongside anything else, but were still there for the people stupid enough to pay to see them. The Uchiha actually felt a sense of shame just from standing there. But a look at the electronic sign above the door indicated that he was at the right place.

With a shrug, Sasuke walked in and was greeted by a sight that immediately threw up another red flag. The room was nearly empty, with just a handful of people scattered about in random seats, some of whom actually looked like they were trying to hide by slouching down. What was this? A film that was talked about as if "Movie of the Year" status was a foregone conclusion, and this was the turnout? Maybe everyone else had gotten lost trying to find the room? But then why play it there in the first place?

Nevertheless, Sasuke found a seat and settled in. Maybe so many people wanted to see the movie that all the other rooms were packed, and they opened the "crap theater" to get more people in. That didn't explain why there were only seven people in the whole room, but it was all that Sasuke could come up with. He also noticed that everyone he could see was apparently male, but that was to be expected. It was an ultra-violent action movie, afterall.

It didn't take long for the others to notice his presence, and every one of them did double-takes.

"The fuck's a kid doing here?!" Sasuke heard one man hiss out, followed by what sounded like the frantic ruffling of clothing.

Sasuke's first instinct was to point out his status as a ninja, and thus a legal adult. But then he noticed the other reactions. They were all incredibly nervous, and the ones who looked like they were trying to hide before were now actually hiding, sinking down into their chairs until he couldn't see them anymore. Two of them even got up and left, all but running out of the room.

The boy had absolutely no idea what was going on, but he wasn't about to let a few weirdoes ruin his first trip to the movie theater in years. However, once the movie started, everything started to make sense. The out-of-the-way location, the dim "Hall of Shame", the strange sterilized smell of the room, the tiny all-male audience and their behavior...This wasn't "No Place For Heroes 2", it was "Stickin' It To The WoMan"; a pornographic film that was apparently about a man getting back at his domineering bitch of a boss by blackmailing her into becoming his sex slave. How Sasuke managed to get through six minutes of it, he didn't know. But when the remaining men around him started breathing heavily and muttering...things to themselves, it was if the boy had stuck his finger in a light socket.

The Uchiha leapt out of his seat and bolted for the door. Once out, he didn't stop running until he reached the nearest men's restroom.

"Oh God...Oh God!" he panted/gagged. "I am unclean!" Sasuke shuddered, feeling as if there were hundreds of bugs crawling around under his clothes.

"I take it you didn't enjoy the movie." came an all too familiar voice.

Sasuke looked to his right to see Genma leaning against the sink next to him, not bothering to hide his amusement.

"You...You..." the black-haired boy stammered, unable to articulate just how much he hated the older male right now.

"What? You're always complaining about the Taijutsu training, so I decided to mix it up with a Genjutsu test. You failed, by the way." Genma chuckled. The only thing that could've possibly made this better was if he'd caught it on tape. Unfortunately, there had been no time to grab a camera.

"What? How did you..." Sasuke trailed off before fishing the ticket stub out of his pocket. Sure enough, it was no longer a ticket for NPFH2.

"Put an illusion over the sign above the door, too." Genma said, sounding quite proud of himself. Why wouldn't he be? It wasn't everyday that you managed to fool a Sharingan-wielder with Genjutsu, regardless of age and experience. Even without it active, most Uchiha seemed to have an innate ability to detect illusions.

At this moment, Sasuke wanted nothing more than to burn down the entire theater. Even so, he could do little but blame himself. His sensei may have set the trap, but Sasuke walked into it, ignoring his instincts and making up excuses for the suspicious circumstances.

"Hn." he grunted as he turned the handles on the sink and proceeded to splash water on his face, discreetly putting a little in his mouth each time.

As soon as the Jōnin took his eyes off him, Sasuke sprung into action, spitting the water in the man's face when he looked back because of the sudden movement. Instinctively, Genma turned his head away, giving his student a window of opportunity. Sasuke hopped up and planted his left foot on the edge of the sink, using it as a platform for both extra height and power for a spinning roundhouse kick aimed right at Genma's head.

However, without even seeing the attack coming, the brown-haired man managed to duck under it. Then, without missing a beat, he lunged just as Sasuke's body turned a full three-hundred and sixty degrees from the torque of the missed kick. If the headbutt hadn't knocked the boy out, the back of his head meeting the hard tile floor of the restroom probably would've.

"Oh-hoho, that one actually put some adrenaline in my veins!" Genma laughed as he grabbed a paper towel from the dispenser to wipe off his face. Had Sasuke been just a bit faster, either in the initial attack or the failed follow-up, he probably would've kicked his sensei right through one of the stall doors and into a toilet.

Genma's first thought was to just leave Sasuke on the floor, but then a proverbial light bulb went off over his head. He'd just thought of a way to make this better.

Twenty minutes later, Sasuke was jolted awake by a feminine scream. Looking around, he saw nothing but rows of empty chairs. That is, until he looked straight ahead. There, on the giant projector screen, was a female porn star in ripped clothing, laid on an office desk with legs spread wide and a man between them, pounding her mercilessly. With one hand holding onto one of the woman's legs, and the other wrapped around her throat just enough to give the illusion of choking, the man set a brutal pace that rocked his "victim's" body with every thrust. Suddenly, the woman's eyes rolled back into her head and her body twitched and jerked with muscle spasms. In an instant, the man pulled his member from her soaked entrance and...

"The hell?!" Sasuke choked out as he recoiled back into his seat, eyes wide and mouth agape as the woman shot several streams of clear fluid from her vagina. The first few came out with such force that they reached all the way to the ceiling, and when the camera came in for a close-up, it was predictably drenched.

"Ohhh, she's a squirter!" the man all the way in the back row exclaimed, panting like a dog.

Now, Sasuke Uchiha was hardly ignorant of the "birds and bees", but no one had ever said anything about THAT! In a moment of inexplicable panic, the boy bolted for the door, but nearly fell flat on his face due to a loss of balance caused by his right hand being shoved down the front of his shorts.

'Goddammit, Shiranui!' Sasuke fumed.

(Uchiha Compound - 10:50pm)

Fortunately, Sasuke went through the rest of the day without seeing his replacement sensei again. But, as he got ready to turn in for the night, that fact didn't exactly comfort him. Genma wasn't one to lay low just because someone was mad at him. If anything, he'd show up just to make them angrier. No, there was a reason he was making himself scarce, and Sasuke just knew it wouldn't bode well for him.

So paranoid was the Uchiha, that he contemplated not going to sleep just so he'd be able to react in time should anything happen. But after thinking on it a bit, he decided he wouldn't give Genma the satisfaction of knowing he could rule his life like that. So, after a bit of TV channel surfing, Sasuke came across an incredibly boring documentary on Horseshoe crabs, narrated by a man who seemed to be half asleep himself. It took only ten minutes for the Uchiha to be out like a light.

**Headbutt Count: 20**

**Day 2**

5:30 in the morning, and Sasuke was already awake and going through his typical morning routine.

Looking at himself in the large bathroom vanity mirror as he brushed his teeth, the Uchiha's eyes wandered to his hair. How many people would believe him if he said that he didn't actually style his hair? True, he did keep it cut like that in memory of his mother, who was the first to do it when his hair got too unruly, but it held the shape on its own. No gel, hairspray or other product was used to make it look like bird, or, as Genma would say, a bird's ass. Even after sleeping on it all night, Sasuke's hair needed only fifteen minutes to settle into its normal position. Even when it was wet, it just sagged a little, not coming undone until it was weighed down with shampoo and he started messing with it.

But, just like every other morning, Sasuke decided to leave the mystery of his unflappable hair as just that: a mystery. He bent over to spit into the sink and rose back upright to an unpleasant sight: Genma, standing behind him with a...senbon toothbrush in his mouth? Not a toothbrush with a sharpened handle, but an actual senbon needle with a toothbrush stuck on one end...Or a toothbrush with a senbon attachment, maybe?

A week ago, Sasuke probably would've freaked and immediately gone on the offensive. But today he just narrowed his eyes at the man's reflection, sending him a silent warning. A warning of what, who knew, as it had been proven time and again that the Uchiha could do little if Genma decided to make a nuisance of himself.

Sasuke rinsed his toothbrush, put it back in its cup, and went for the mouthwash, all without taking his eyes off of the mirror. Then Genma's hand moved, causing the boy to react instinctively. In one fluid, lightning quick motion, Sasuke twisted the cap off the mouthwash, whirled around and flung the bottle's contents into the Jōnin's face. To his immense surprise, he actually caught the man off guard, evidenced by Genma's agonized scream as his eyes were doused with the green-colored chemical mixture. For a split second, Sasuke was actually worried, as the mouthwash was probably strong enough to cause some real damage. But he quickly rationalized that it was Genma's own fault, as his reaction was a direct result of conditioning due to the senbon-chewer's constant surprise attacks.

But Genma likely wouldn't see it that way, so Sasuke thought it prudent to hightail it while he was still more or less incapacitated.

Genma just barely registered Sasuke leaving the bathroom, but he did hear the distinct "thunk" of one skull meeting another, followed by the sound of a body falling to the floor.

"Kami, does it suck being your clone." "Genma" grumbled as he stood up, completely unaffected by the mouthwash assault.

"Quit bitching, it's not like you even felt that." the real Genma snorted as he walked into the bathroom, stepping carelessly over Sasuke's crumpled form.

"Yeah, but it just sucks to be you on principle." the Shadow Clone, then dispelled itself before its creator could retort.

(Private Training Ground - 6:35am)

"AGH, DAMMIT!" Sasuke wailed as he stumbled backwards with a hand over his bleeding nose. It wasn't broken, yet, but it was enough to make his eyes water.

"Have you been listening to anything I've said?" Genma asked, pinching the bridge of his nose in exasperation. "No, you haven't. Because if you had, you wouldn't be over there crying right now."

"I'm not crying." Sasuke said, his voice sounding somewhat nasally due to the blood clogging his nostrils.

"I see tears."

"I can't help it, it's the natural response to being hit in the nose."

"...If you say so, kid." Genma shrugged indifferently, but was frowning mentally. Teaching was a lot less fun when the student was more level-headed and less prone to flying off the handle. "Try it again."

'Okay, Horse, Snake, Ram, Monk-' "DAMN YOU!" Sasuke roared as he was headbutted yet again. This was the eighth time since they'd begun the training session less than half an hour ago.

"Stop thinking about it!" Genma all but growled. "It's only slowing you down. You've been practicing the Great Fireball Technique since you were old enough to mold chakra, you know the ins and outs like the back of your hand. The handseals are muscle memory now; you can do them without even consciously thinking about it. If you want to do it without seals, stop fucking thinking about it!" the Jōnin was almost to the point of tearing his hair out. This kid was supposed to be a genius?

"That's impossible!" Sasuke countered.

"Oh, really?" Genma rose an eyebrow, then turned to the side, took a deep breath, then unleashed a sizeable fireball that incinerated a nearby tree stump in a matter of seconds. "I'll see your 'impossible', and raise you an 'I-just-fucking-did-it'."

"..." that shut Sasuke up. He'd been thoroughly convinced that Genma was all talk when it came to seal-less technique execution. Sure, he'd seen Naruto launch techniques without seals, but he figured it was some kind of special ability, or the masked Genin was just going through the seals too fast for his eyes to catch.

Afterall, it couldn't be something that just anyone could do, right? Most of the Uchiha clan had been using the Great Fireball technique long before Sasuke was even born, yet they still needed handseals to do it. Even Itachi had used handseals when he demonstrated the technique for his little brother, though perhaps it was only for the sake of tutoring.

"Seal-less execution requires intimate knowledge of the given technique. Knowledge of not only what the chakra does, but what roles the three individual energies that make up chakra play, and what each handseal in the sequence does to control those energies. Then you've got to memorize that information and practice until it all becomes subconscious. From there, your conscious mind can be virtually disregarded, as all you have to do is just think about using the technique, and your body and subconscious take it from there. Your muscle memory of the handseals and ability to use the technique almost instinctively shows that you're at that level. All you have to do is turn it into a completely internalized process. Think of the technique, mold the chakra and let your subconscious do the rest."(5)

"...But doesn't that go against the reason handseals were developed in the first place?" Sasuke asked, not trying to be a smartass, but genuinely curious.

"Which is why so few ninjas bother with it. It usually takes years to get up to that level with even one technique, regardless of elemental affinities, let alone an entire arsenal, and most just don't have the time to devote to it. Plus, techniques are a lot easier to screw up that way, and you can easily become the victim of your own attack. But it's an invaluable skill to have, especially when you absolutely NEED to catch your opponent off-guard. And when it comes to escape techniques, like the Body Flicker, I'd say you'd have to be an idiot to NOT learn how to do it without seals."

"I guess that's a part of your 'always be prepared' thing." Sasuke said, talking to himself more than anything.

"Damn right it is. Besides the obvious, like the Body Flicker, Kawarimi, etcetera, I've got five other techniques I can use without seals. Great Fireball for attack, Doryūheki for defense, Meisaigakure for avoiding detection, and two techniques for crowd control, Downburst and Needle Blitz. One technique for almost every situation I could conceivably find myself in, where I'd have just fractions of a second to react or die. I'm even working on a sixth, Muteki Haizō, which will let me breathe underwater and inside poison clouds." Genma said, sounding quite proud of his preparedness. "And I was never regarded as a 'genius', so this should be a cakewalk for you."(6)

Sasuke mumbled something under his breath before clearing his nose one more time. How many times was he going to have his 'genius' status mocked and thrown in his face? It wasn't like he told people to call him that, it was just a label that people had seen fit to assign to him after seeing what he could do.

"C'mon, c'mon, we're burning daylight, kid."

"...The sun's not even up yet." Sasuke deadpanned, and was promptly dropped with a headbutt.

"Less backtalk, more doing as you're told."

As he glared up at his sensei with narrowed eyes, Sasuke made a vow right then and there. He would master the seal-less Great Fireball Technique, for the sole purpose of one day catching Genma off-guard and setting him on fire. It wouldn't be today, and probably not tomorrow, but the day of reckoning would come!

(Streets of Konoha,12:30pm)

The citizens of Konoha were greeted to a decidedly strange sight. So strange that it made some question not only their eyesight, but their sanity as well. That sight was Sasuke Uchiha walking through the streets of Konoha, his limbs and face littered with small scratches and scrapes, with a cup full of ice cream and a _smile_. It was downright freaky, and more than a little suspicious.

But Sasuke didn't care because, dammit, he was happy right now! He had managed to do the Uchiha Clan's signature technique without handseals; something, he liked to think, even his brother couldn't do! Something that, to his knowledge, no one in the clan had been able to do. Sure, he had taken ten more headbutts, and looked like he'd lost a fight against Tora, but he'd persevered and succeeded in the end. That wasn't just a reason to be proud, that was a reason to celebrate. So, while the sun was at its peak in the cloudless sky and rapidly heating everything up, Sasuke decided to treat himself to something he hadn't had in a long time: vanilla chocolate chunk ice cream.

However, Sasuke knew better than to let his happiness compromise his situational awareness. If anything, he was hyper-aware of his surroundings, as Genma would never pass up a chance to ruin a good day. But, in a strange reversal of roles, the Uchiha's awareness put him in a rare position to ruin Genma's day. As he was walking, he happened to spy the Jōnin at a merchant's stand, looking at...jewelry?

'It can't be for himself; he'd never wear anything so flashy...' even Genma's forehead protector, which he wore across the back of his head, had a matte finish to eliminate the polished metal's shine. 'Maybe a gift for someone else, a girlfriend?' Sasuke would've chuckled at the thought of a jerk like Genma having a significant other...if not for the fact that Sasuke knew he himself was a jerk, and still had girls of all ages swooning over him.

As the older male crouched down to look at some items on a lower rack, still completely oblivious to his observer, a proverbial light bulb went off above Sasuke's head. This was the perfect chance to make Genma eat some crow! He was a prideful man, and Sasuke knew all about pride. Especially what it felt like to have that pride wounded. It gnawed at you for days, consuming your thoughts and invading your dreams. Scratching and clawing at the walls of your mind until you either let it go or did something about it. And with Genma being so self-assured in regards to his situational awareness, there was no better way to wound his pride than by getting the drop on him.

With a cruel smirk, Sasuke crept up on his target as stealthily as he could, considering he out in the open, in broad daylight, surrounded by witnesses.

'Hm, what to do...Put the spoon to his neck like a kunai? Or maybe dump the ice cream on his head, or down the back of his vest?' Sasuke debated with himself as he got closer, subconsciously slowing his steps and lowering his body.

Soon enough, he was within range and had his method of humiliation set. He'd take the spoon, with some ice cream still on it, swipe it across the man's throat in one lightning-quick motion, then say "You're dead, sensei", before walking away. A reversal of roles from Genma's habit of sneaking up and "cutting" Sasuke's throat with a marker. Oh, it would be glorious!

But, you know what they say about the best laid plans. Just as Sasuke went for the "kill", someone called out Genma's name.

"Yo, Shiranui!"

Genma's head, and entire upper body, snapped upright, resulting in the back of his head, specifically his forehead protector, crashing into Sasuke's face. With a cringe-inducing "crunch", the telltale sound of a broken nose, and a muffled yelp, the boy went down.

But Genma took no notice, instead returning his friend's greeting. "Hey, Masaki! What's up?"

"Nothing much, just heading out for a mission. C-Class, small-time stuff, should be back before sunset. How about you?"

"Just looking for an anniversary present." Genma replied.

"Good thing you remembered. Five years have passed, and my wife STILL brings up the ONE time I forgot!"

"I still don't know how you forgot about a _wedding_ anniversary. I remember your wedding clear as day."

"Not all of us are gifted with photographic memories, Shiranui."

"Gift? Tch, you think I WANT to remember the things you do when you get drunk? I know you don't remember the bachelor party, but I do! To this day, I still get nauseous when I see a donkey..." Genma shuddered in disgust.

"Hey, hey, not so loud, dammit!"

"Yeah, yeah, just get going before you forget you've got a mission."

"Har, har. One day, you're gonna forget something, something important, and when that happens, I swear I'll never let you live it down!" Masaki vowed.

"Please, my memory puts elephants to shame."

"We'll see. Tell Ruki I said 'hi'."

"Will do." Genma said as he waved goodbye. A pained groan coming from behind prompted him to turn around, where he saw his student on the ground, the bottom half of his face and his shirt covered in blood, with more streaming out from his busted nose with each passing second. "The hell happened to you, kid?"

Sasuke only glared in response, though the effect was greatly diminished by the tears in his eyes. Despite the man's genuinely clueless expression, Sasuke was certain Genma had sensed him coming and hit him on purpose. His plan had failed, his nose was broken, and he'd lost his ice cream

Needless to say, the Sasuke Uchiha's good mood was officially ruined.

(Konoha General Hospital - 12:45pm)

Sasuke stepped out through the hospital's automatic doors and back onto the streets of Konoha good as new. Though he'd only gone in to get his nose fixed, which was more painful than having it broken in the first place, he'd eventually caved to the pestering nurses and allowed them to heal all of his wounds, no matter how minor. What they couldn't fix were his blood-stained clothes. Fortunately, Genma had actually come through on that front, delivering a sealing scroll with several spare sets of clothing in it.

Of course, he couldn't just give Sasuke the scroll and leave him be, he had to chastise the boy for not making his own scroll, and lecture him on the importance of being prepared. And all the while, the Uchiha was forced to sit there and listen, as he was instructed to remain still while the nurses took their sweet time healing/molesting him.

'And people envy me because I've got fangirls?!' Sasuke thought, having heard Kiba lament about it in their Academy days, as well as go on and on about what he'd do if he had girls throwing themselves at him left and right. 'I mean come on! Some of them are old enough to be my grandmother!' an unpleasant chill ran up Sasuke's spine as he recalled an emergency tomato run last week, where a woman who had to be in her sixties blew him a kiss.

That night marked the first time in a long while that he'd had nightmares that had nothing to do with his deceased family and their murderer.

Speaking of chills, another one, more...vigorous than the last, ran not only up Sasuke's back, but through his entire body. Goosebumps littered his arms, and the hair on the back of his neck stood on end. He was being watched, and it wasn't Genma or some random ANBU. He couldn't explain it, there was just something different about it. Something "off".

As he discreetly looked around, something told Sasuke to look up and to his right. Immediately, his eyes settled on a figure standing atop a nearby three-story building. With their body covered in a heavy cloak, Sasuke had no way of making out build or gender, but he didn't need to; the cloak itself gave away the watcher's identity. He could feel the direction of the wind, and the figure's cloak was blowing _against_ it.

"Naruto..." Sasuke mumbled as his hands unconsciously clenched into fists. This was the first time he'd so much as caught a glimpse of his so-called "teammate" in nearly a month, and he wasn't about to waste this opportunity to get some answers. "Hey, wait!" he called as Naruto turned away and jumped to an adjacent rooftop.

Taking to the rooftops himself, Sasuke proceeded to chase his elusive teammate for several city blocks. He never got particularly close, but at least he never lost track of the target. But that wasn't what really got under his skin. What truly irked him was the fact that Naruto appeared to be ignoring him. The masked Genin never said a word and never reacted to Sasuke's calls to slow down or stop. He obviously knew the Uchiha was after him, and even made some halfhearted attempts to lose the tail, but otherwise it was like the black-haired boy didn't exist.

"GODDAMMIT, YOU BASTARD, I'M TALKING TO YOU!" Sasuke screamed as he landed on top of a store at the same time Naruto landed on a water tower further ahead.

In a second, Naruto was off the tower and standing in front of the Uchiha. To his credit, said Uchiha stood his ground, though he did hop backwards to put some distance between them.

"I know, and I've got nothing to say to you. I figured you would've taken the hint, but I suppose you've never been very good at that." Naruto said in a clipped tone, obviously irritated.

"You disappear for nearly a month, forcing Sakura and I to waste our time with D-Class missions, and you've got nothing to say to me?" Sasuke asked in semi-disbelief.

"Well, when you put it that way...No, I still don't have anything to say to you." Naruto drawled, his tone becoming a bit more mocking.

"...You don't think we're owed some kind of explanation? Not even as to why you can do missions with Team Eight, but not us: the team you're assigned to?"

"No, I don't. And if you haven't been told already, neither does anyone else."

"Tch, some teammate you are." Sasuke mumbled.

"Let's get a few things straight, Uchiha. I am not your friend, and I am not your teammate. I'm someone who's been forced to work with you because we happened to be the two strongest students in this year's graduating class. I don't like any of you; I barely tolerate you. In fact, if I had my way, you would've died fighting Haku in Wave Country. If I could've gotten away with it, I'd have killed you myself. But, alas, a higher power conspired against me, so here you stand, alive and ruining my day. That said, I owe you absolutely nothing. And if I did, allowing you to keep your head where it is should be compensation enough."

Sasuke swallowed hard, fighting the urge to flee. Apparently, he'd caught Naruto in a bad mood, as his enigmatic peer had never been this outright hostile before. Indifferent and/or condescending, mostly, but never so blatantly confrontational.

"Well don't hold back, tell me how you really feel." Sasuke retorted.

"I'd rather show you, but you're not worth the bag of snakes that would open." with that, Naruto turned on his heel and began to walk away.

What happened next was akin to an out-of-body experience for Sasuke. He could only watch in horror as his body moved on its own, stepping forward and reaching out to latch onto Naruto's right shoulder. The cloaked boy paused for a full second, likely just as shocked by Sasuke's actions as the Uchiha himself. But once that second had passed, Naruto was a dark blur as he whirled around with a right backfist that undoubtedly would've broken Sasuke's jaw had it connected. Fortunately, with honed instincts and lightning-quick reflexes granted by Genma's training, the Uchiha was able to not only duck under the attack, but launch one of his own in the form of a leg sweep.

Naruto easily jumped over the sweep, but before he could capitalize on the opening, he was hit with a spinning heel kick to the face.

As his masked teammate rolled across the rooftop and into a crouch, Sasuke stood rooted to the spot, his expression one of pure bewilderment. Never in his life had he moved that fast! Was this what Genma was talking about when he lectured about reflexive action and muscle memory? Was the delay between registering a threat and reacting to it really that significant when conscious thought was involved? If so, Sasuke prayed that his body would be able to take the reins once again and save its own hide, because if that animalistic growl was anything to go by, Naruto was _pissed_.

Fortunately for the Uchiha, intervention came just in the nick of time, and from quite an unlikely source.

"Leave him alone." Genma commanded as he appeared in between the two boys, facing Naruto. "I assume you've got a job to do, so go do it."

Sasuke paled. 'Yeah, make him even more angry! Brilliant!'

However, instead of brawl the Uchiha expected, Naruto simply stood to his full height and snorted in disdain. Then, he turned and proceeded across the rooftops once again, off to wherever he'd been going before.

For a brief moment, Sasuke looked at Genma in an entirely different light. As far as he knew, the Hokage was the only person Naruto took orders from. He certainly had no respect for Kakashi's authority as a Jōnin. But this man, who openly acknowledged that Kakashi was stronger than him, had just sent Naruto on his way, like a parent telling a child to go to bed.

But, before Sasuke could contemplate how a man would walk around normally with such gigantic balls, Genma started speaking to him.

"Alright, kid, I'm officially impressed. Not only did you sneak up on me, you managed to find and follow one of Namikaze's clones. Given, it wasn't trying _that_ hard to lose you, but still, kudos."

"Wait, a clone?" Sasuke replied incredulously. 'Though that would explain why I was able to hit him...'

"Yeah, they're all over the village. Most are hidden, but there's usually at least one running around in the open. From what I've gathered, they run errands and do chores when Namikaze isn't around..." Genma trailed off as he registered his slip of the tongue. Kakashi had explicitly stated that Sasuke was NOT to be told that Naruto was on the same mission.

"...So you mean to tell me Naruto's not in the village? He's off doing another mission, isn't he? While Sakura and I are stuck painting fences and herding cattle, he's doing missions with other teams?! Again?!" Sasuke's Sharingan activated, responding to his fury.

"Calm down." Genma said, after dropping the boy with a quick headbutt. "That's not how it is."

"Yeah, right." Sasuke growled, rubbing his forehead lightly. "I'm not stupid. First, we hear about him doing a mission, a C-Class mission at that, with Team Eight. Then he gets into a fight with the leader of another village and jeopardizes Konoha's alliance with them. And then he drops off the face of the Earth! No one knows where he is, even Kakashi-sensei, and no one seems to be concerned about it. Even the Hokage is dodging questions and giving non-answers when we ask about him! You don't have to be a prodigy to figure out that something fishy is going on, and Naruto's at the center of it." the Uchiha took a deep breath to calm himself, though his scowl remained, seemingly as permanent as the stoic visages carved into the Hokage Monument.

"...Were you always this smart, or did one of those headbutts knock something back into place?" Genma joked.

"Asshole." Sasuke scoffed and made to leave.

"Alright, alright, I'll tell you, but on one condition. The clone had a point earlier; if you don't know already, you weren't meant to know. So I want your word that you'll keep this quiet. I mean you don't tell ANYONE. Not your teammate, not Kakashi, not your diary, not even your imaginary friend."

"I don't have an imaginary friend..." Sasuke ground out.

"Wow, even your imagination doesn't like you."

"..."

"Okay, okay...But you've got a diary?"

"It's a journal..."

"What could you possibly have to write dow-no, nevermind, I'm getting sidetracked. Okay, do you remember that pranking spree from a few weeks ago?" Genma asked after doing a quick sweep of the area with his senses to make sure there were no eavesdroppers.

"Yeah, a group of ANBU did it to expose flaws and holes in village security." Sasuke answered.

"That's the 'official' report, kid. As you move further up the ladder, one of the first things you're gonna find out is that the 'official' story is usually bullshit. Keeps the civilians and rookie ninjas from getting too worked up. Namikaze was the real culprit, and he was arrested and taken to the Hokage. He confessed, but got off with a slap on the wrist because Medics found traces of poison in his bloodstream. He was immune to the lethal effects, but not to the powerful hallucinogenic effects..."

"...You mean he was _high_?" Sasuke's jaw dropped, his shock the only thing keeping the laughter at bay.

"As an Albatross. Unfortunately for him, he couldn't use that excuse for the fight with Uzu no Kuni's leader. How did you know about that, by the way? I'm pretty sure that information is classified to anyone below Chūnin rank."

"One of the perks of being me." Sasuke shrugged, allowing himself a self-satisfied smirk.

"You ask a question, and people trip over each other scrambling to answer." Genma chuckled. "I suppose that's as good a way of gathering info as any. Yeah, Namikaze got into one hell of a brawl with Uzu's...I guess you could call her their Daimyo, since she holds authority over the entire country."

"'She'?" Sasuke was hardly sexist, but it was exceedingly rare for a woman to command that kind of power in the world.

"Yeah, She. Believe me, if you knew anything about Uzumaki Kushina, you'd never question her authority or how she came to power in her country. There are some people in this world you just don't fuck with, and I don't really know of anyone still living who's higher up on that list than her."

"Wait...Uzumaki? That's-"

"I know where you're going, kid, and I'll have to stop you there. I don't know if they're actually related; as far as I know, Namikaze was an orphan who was given the Uzumaki name by the Sandaime. What I know for sure is that the Council shit its collective pants afterward, thinking Konoha had just made a very powerful enemy. Only the Sandaime's testimony saved Namikaze from being executed and having his head mailed to Kushina's doorstep. Apparently, whatever's going on with those two was mutual, and Kushina was just as much to blame for the fight as Namikaze. But he didn't get out unscathed, by any measure. He was to be put under house arrest after he recovered at the hospital."

"Recover?"

"Namikaze may be strong, but even Kages, our own included, respect and fear Kushina. Uzu no Kuni may not have a 'real' ninja village, but it still has its own army of shinobi. Some are survivors of the original Uzushiogakure's destruction, but most are nukenin who were granted asylum and citizenship. Kushina commands an army of rogues, and it's her power and reputation that keeps them all in line, and keeps the Hunters away. A lot of them are survivors of Kirigakure's Bloodline Purge, and even the Mizukage wasn't crazy enough to risk angering Kushina to get them back." Genma explained. "Namikaze put up a fight, but in the end, she was standing tall, while he was passed out with his face in the dirt." he lied through his teeth with practiced ease.

Sasuke didn't need to know that Naruto had, somehow, managed to fight a Kage-level opponent to a stalemate.

For his part, the Uchiha couldn't help but smile at the mental image. He didn't know what Kushina looked like, so he settled for a "Generic Heroine" striking a victory pose with her foot planted on the head of a knocked-out Naruto.

"So, what happened after that? You said he 'was' to be put under house arrest, not that he IS under house arrest."

"That was the plan. However, during his stay at the hospital, someone summoned some kind of creature in an apparent attempt to kill him while he was weakened. Most think it was retaliation for the Kushina incident, but nothing was ever proven and the creature itself escaped; some claim to have seen it burst through the roof and fly away."

"Ah, so that's why people are talking about 'giant lizards' and 'dragons'." Sasuke muttered to himself.

"Bingo. After that, Naruto was moved to a safe house that only the Hokage and the ANBU assigned to keep him confined know the location of." Genma finished, mentally patting himself on the back for not only managing to keep a straight face while spewing such utter bullshit, but for coming up with it on the spot.

Sasuke now felt a whole lot better about the current status of his team. Yeah, this meant that he'd be stuck doing grunt work for who knew how much longer, but he took comfort in the thought of Naruto having had his ass handed to him. The fact that he was also in hot water because of it was icing on the cake.

The sudden headbutt was a bomb hidden inside the cake.

"The hell was that for?!" Sasuke fumed.

"You were doing that cliché movie villain thing. Y'know, wringing your hands while laughing like an idiot."

"I was?"

"Yeah...It was creepy. Have you had a psyche evaluation lately?" Genma asked.

"Have you?" Sasuke countered, and paid for his cheek with a headbutt.

"Less backtalk, more doing as you're told." Genma said, repeating his "lesson" from earlier in the day.

"You didn't tell me to do anything!" Sasuke raged as he got back to his feet, only to be knocked down with another headbutt.

"I just told you to stop backtalking."

"You said 'less backtalk', not 'no backtalk'!" one would think the boy would've learned by now...

"True, but that time I did tell you to stop, and you disobeyed." Genma smiled brightly as his student glared up at him hatefully.

'Kakashi-sensei...if you come back to find this man dead and me listed in the Bingo Book, you'll have no one to blame but yourself.' Sasuke seethed.

"Now, for the original reason I tracked you down. For managing to sneak up on me, I felt you deserved a reward. And when I saw you keeping up with Namikaze's clone, I thought you deserved a better one. But when I saw you actually avoid its attack and land a hit of your own...As a sensei, I can honestly say I've never been more proud of a student!" Genma said, his eyes misting up slightly.

"...But weren't all your previous students, and I quote, 'disgraceful wastes of space and air that weren't even worth the metal used to make their forehead protectors'?"

"Like I said, as a sensei I've never been more proud." Genma deadpanned. "Anywho, you deserve something truly special for your accomplishments today! And that something is a brand spanking new technique!"

And just like that, all was right in Sasuke's world. In a flash, he was sitting on his heels, looking up at his sensei with wide, shining eyes. The picture of an eager, diligent and respectful student. "You are too kind, Genma-sensei!"

"I know, it's a curse. Originally, I was gonna teach you the Shadow Clone Technique, but...knowing you, you'd kill yourself with it. There's a reason it's listed as a Kinjutsu, forbidden to anyone below Jōnin. So, I'll be teaching you something more suited to your style, personality and level: the Fire Clone Technique. And as a bonus, you'll also be learning how to do it _without handseals_." the diabolical glint in Genma's eyes could've made Orochimaru apprehensive.

(Uchiha Compound - Private Training Ground, 10:30pm)

Looking down at the unconscious Uchiha, Genma almost felt like giving him a round of applause. He had a good head on his shoulders, and he had a level of drive and toughness that was depressingly rare in today's Genin. His potential was almost frightening...Scratch that, it WAS frightening, because it mirrored Konoha's most dangerous rogue.

Though it was before Genma's own time, Orochimaru's story was one well-known throughout the village, and often told as a cautionary tale from senseis to their students. A prodigy who lost his family, and turned to training to fill the hole that was left. Throwing himself completely into the task of being the best, and finding a way to defeat his ultimate opponent. Where Orochimaru tried to overcome death itself, Sasuke wanted his brother's head on a pike.

Hopefully, with a far less grandiose goal, Sasuke could be made to realize that he had everything he needed in Konoha. Itachi had achieved his strength within Konoha's walls, so there was no reason for Sasuke to think he couldn't do the same. But everyone had their doubts as to whether he would see it that way. No matter how sycophantic some were to the boy, they all knew that he was damaged, and they all feared the worst. Many believed that being so nice to him, making sure he never wanted for anything, was the way to keep him happy and maybe reverse some of that damage.

In Genma's view, it was a stupid idea. It did nothing but set Sasuke up for failure. Failure he wouldn't know how to handle. It happened when Naruto beat him, and had Sasuke been allowed to continue down that path, it would've happened every time he encountered an opponent who outclassed him. What the boy needed was a reality check and a swift kick in the ass. Kakashi knew that, and that's why he called in his favor with Genma. There were droves of ninjas who would've jumped at the chance to teach the "Last Uchiha", if only to have it on their résumés in the future. But they would've only given Sasuke what it wanted, not what he _needed_.

"Oh my, is Uchiha-sama alright?" a feminine voice asked.

To his credit, Genma merely blinked at the maid's sudden appearance. On the inside, however, he was quit unnerved by how the maid had managed to get within arm's reach of him without being detected.

"Sure, he's taken worse before and bounced back from it. Just let him rest."

"If you say so, Shiranui-sama." the maid smiled, then furrowed her brow a bit as she continued to look at the downed Uchiha. "Is it wise to let him rest in that position? It looks very uncomfortable."

Genma nodded slightly, the boy would certainly have a stiff neck when he awoke. "A taste of the future. When you're out in the field, you sleep whenever you can, whenever you can, and four-star hotels are usually few and far between. Besides, it builds character."

The maid only smiled in reply, her expression and body language otherwise unreadable. Whoever they were, these "maids" most definitely had ninja training.

"So, how many was it this time?" the woman asked.

"Thirty. I'd call it a step back if not for the fact that he was trying something entirely new to him. Would've been closer to fifty, but he's gotten pretty quick, and his chakra-sensing has improved as well."

"...You're proud of him."

"Of course I am. Without exception, every other student I've had has been worthless. And with his attitude, I thought Sasuke would be more of the same. Some entitled little pretty-boy punk who couldn't take punch. Needless to say, he defied all my expectations. Kid's tough as nails and giving up seems to be a foreign concept to him. All the tools are there, he just needs the right kind of sensei."

"Is that you?" the maid asked.

"The results will speak for themselves either way." Genma said as he stretched. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the maid was gone, and made a mental vow to figure out how they did that. Then, turning his attention back to his student, the Jōnin chuckled almost inaudibly. "Don't let that go to your head, kid. Now get some sleep, tomorrow we're upping the ante. You're gonna get your ass kicked regardless, but if you're awake and alert, you _might_ be able to dodge something." and with that, Genma vanished.

A few seconds later, Sasuke sat up with a groan. He wouldn't have any problem getting to sleep tonight. With the amount of painkillers he was planning to down, he'd likely be out before he head hit the pillow.

**Headbutt Count: 65**

**Day 3**

(Uchiha Compound, 5:00am)

We find Sasuke fast asleep in his room, a portrait of serenity. With the aid of hospital-grade painkillers, Sasuke's slumber was a dreamless one, free of the normal nightmares of his family and, more recently, Genma's brutal training methods. Unfortunately, it wouldn't last, and the latter of those nightmares were about to get worse.

Even in his sleep, Sasuke's subconscious recognized the familiar chakra signature that was far too close for comfort and he was jolted awake. Before his eyes even opened, Sasuke was out of his bed and on the opposite side of the room from the intruder.

"Twenty seconds." Genma sighed as he looked at the stopwatch in his hand. "I was sitting here, five feet away from you, for twenty full seconds before you finally sensed me and reacted." he lifted his head to look at Sasuke, he actually took a step back at the level of intensity in the man's eyes. "Do you know how many times I could've killed you in that timeframe?"

"Wha-" Sasuke was immediately silenced with a headbutt.

"...You took some painkillers." Genma stated, noting the boy's reaction, or rather lack of one.

"Well, yeah, it was the only way I was gonna get any sleep." the Uchiha replied, his words somewhat slurred, indicating that what he had taken was still at least partially in effect.

"So, you're telling me you can't handle a little pain. Alright, we can work on that."

"...It was more than 'a little pain'..." Sasuke defended.

"Nothing compared to what's about to happen. You've got five minutes to meet me in the dojo. For every second over that, half an hour will be added to your training schedule." Genma then left the room, using the door instead of his usual Body Flicker.

Sasuke blinked in confusion. Genma actually seemed...mad. Not irritated or mildly disgruntled, but genuinely angry. It couldn't just be about Sasuke's subpar reaction time, could it?

'Then again, if there was anyone who'd make a big deal about that, it's him.' Sasuke thought with a deep sigh/groan. This couldn't possibly mean anything even remotely good.

(Uchiha Compound - Dojo, 5:06am)

As soon as Sasuke stepped through the dojo door, he was on the ground with his nose throbbing. Once his vision stopped swimming, he looked up to see Genma standing off to his right, stopwatch in-hand and a scowl on his face.

"Twenty seconds. I said five minutes, period, and you took five minutes and twenty seconds to get here. You just earned yourself ten extra hours of training, on top of the normal two." Genma's scowl suddenly turned into a malicious grin. "I'm gonna give that a moment to sink in, then we'll get started."

It didn't take long for it to sink in. Twelve straight hours of training, with Genma? Sasuke would've screamed, if not for the more pressing concern of avoiding the foot that was about to come crashing down on his sternum.

(10:00am)

Sasuke sat against one of the dojo walls, panting up a storm. Genma allowed for ten minute rest periods after every hour, and the Uchiha was making the most of the six minutes he had left in the current break. He looked like hell, with bruises on his limbs and face, his left eye nearly swollen shut and a split lip. He felt even worse. When Genma said he was upping the ante, he wasn't kidding. If anything, he was understating his intentions.

Before, Genma took it easy on his student. Said student still got his ass handed to him every time, but the Jōnin was holding back nonetheless. Now, he was still holding back, but not nearly as much. His attacks were faster and packed a LOT more force, and he was relentless in his assault. No more waiting for Sasuke to make the first move and letting him retreat and regroup in between flurries.

On one hand, it was something of a slap in the face for the Uchiha, being absolutely manhandled after all the progress he'd made. But on the other hand, the boy was proud of himself for having lasted five hours and remaining conscious. He had taken everything Genma had thrown at him thus far, and was still standing.

"I've still got six minutes left." Sasuke said as he saw Genma walking over.

"Five minutes and twenty-one seconds, but that's not what I wanted to talk about." the Jōnin said, shifting his senbon from one corner of his mouth to the other. "I want to make sure you understand the moral of the story."

"..."

"Moral of the ass-kicking."

"Oh. Uh...No, not really. Haven't had much time to think about anything besides keeping you from breaking or rupturing something important." even on the brink of exhaustion, Sasuke still retained his newfound penchant for snarky replies.

The only reason he didn't get a headbutt for it was because Genma had promised not to touch him during the rest periods.

"Before I left yesterday, what was the last thing I told you? That your training was going to get more intense. You knew that today was going to be especially demanding, and what did you do? You downed a bunch of pills that would compromise your abilities, all because you had a few bumps and bruises. Well, with the way you're feeling right now, was it worth it?"

"You say that like it would've been any different if I hadn't taken the painkillers." Sasuke coughed, wincing as the left side of his ribcage erupted in agony. 'Cracked ribs...'

"For starters, I wouldn't have been pissed off right out of the gate." Genma frowned.

"So, it wasn't just my imagination."

"Damn right it wasn't. After all the progress you made, after I showered you with praise, you go and do something stupid like that. You should've known better; both me and Kakashi taught you better. That's like taking downers right before a mission that you know for a fact will involve enemy engagement. Had you done it on a mission, and you didn't get yourself killed, I guarantee your commanding officer would've done worse to you than I have." Genma said.

Sasuke scoffed. "This can hardly be compared to a high-rank mission."

"Is that so?" Genma's jaw clenched and his eyes narrowed dangerously. "Well, since you apparently aren't taking my training seriously, it's my duty, as a sensei, to show you the error of your ways and make you regret that statement."

"H-Hey, that's not what I mean-"

"If you're not going to say what you mean, then perhaps you should just keep your mouth shut." Genma cut his student off. "Two-minutes and forty-seven seconds." without giving the Uchiha a chance to respond, he turned on his heel and walked back towards the center of the dojo.

Sasuke wanted to say something, but thought better of it. At this point, his tongue may as well have been a shovel, digging the hole deeper and deeper with every word he uttered.

"I wonder...is this how it feels to be Kiba?" he mumbled under his breath before holding his hands in a Ram seal for a low-level self-healing technique Kakashi had taught him last week.

(Meanwhile - Training Ground Eight)

Kiba suddenly sneezed in the middle of his decidedly one-sided conversation with Shino, causing the Aburame to step away slightly.

"Huh, someone must be talking about me...Hope it's the chick from that ramen place." the Inuzuka chuckled suggestively.

"Ichiraku Ayame." Shino informed.

"Yeah, her. She's hot, she knows how to cook, she's hot, she's got that 'girl next door' personality, and..." Kiba trailed off with a smile.

"...She's hot?" Shino ventured in his trademark deadpan.

"I knew you'd agree with me!" Kiba laughed, slapping Shino's shoulder.

"...She's also a good deal older than us."

"And? I've always had a thing for older women. I may not be a cat person, but I've always got time for a cougar!(7) Looking at the girls our age, can you blame me? Sure, some of 'em may be kinda cute, but all they do is yak, yak, yak, nag, nag, nag. I mean, look at Shikamaru; every time we see him around Ino, he looks like he's one more complained about a broken nail away from slitting his wrists!" Kiba laughed as he thought about how downright depressed Shikamaru looked the last time they saw him quite literally being dragged around town by his blonde teammate.

"And Hinata-san?" Shino asked.

"Is the exception, not the rule. She's so much more mature than the others, and she's got her priorities straight. She's not out to impress '_Sasuke-kun'_." Kiba made a show of gagging at what might as well have been the fangirls' catchphrase.

"Indeed. If she were out to impress anyone, I'd say it's Naruto-san." Shino said, discreetly observing Kiba's reaction. What he saw surprised him.

Instead of the typical balled fists and growling, Kiba merely sighed and shrugged.

"I know, which is why I'm bowing out and leaving her to him. She wants him, and nothing I've said or done has changed her mind. Besides, who else would give that creep the time of day? Hinata-chan may be his one chance at having a girlfriend, and taking that away from him would be a dick move." Kiba nodded in a sagely manner.

"...Ichiraku-san is your new 'target'?" Shino asked, opting not to call Kiba out for his completely bogus statements.

"Maybe. I think I'm gonna play the field a bit, check out all my options. Ayame's a looker for sure, but she's got nothing on some other women I've seen." Kiba scanned the area before leaning in and whispering, "Like Kurenai-sensei."

"...I'd ask if you were crazy, but the answer to that question might impact my ability to work with you, so I believe I'd be better off not knowing." Shino drawled.

"Oh please, like you haven't at least thought about it. With those shades always hiding your eyes, I bet you're sneakin' peaks all the time! Don't deny it, sensei is just...Mm!" Kiba exclaimed, accompanied by a crude "spanking" gesture. "Between you and me, when I was coming home from the movie theater one night, I happened to pass by her place and noticed the light was on. Kami must've been smiling on me, because right as I looked, she walked by the window in some dark red lingerie. Ho-Ly Shit! I haven't been able to get that image out of my head since, not that I've tried at all..." Kiba let the sentence hang with an eyebrow wiggle and a perverted grin.

"..."

"...She's behind me, isn't she?"

(Uchiha Compound - Private Training Ground, 2:00pm)

"You're slowing down." Genma stated after hitting Sasuke with another headbutt, number fifty-two since the marathon training session had begun. It would've been at least three times that many if not for the fact that Genma was using his limbs more often than in previous bouts.

"No shit!" Sasuke wheezed after jumping back and onto a tree branch to put some distance between himself and his sensei. "It's been NINE FUCKING HOURS!" against all logic, the Uchiha went right back into the fray. In his condition, he was afraid that if he stopped moving, he wouldn't be able to move at all.

"And I've been here for every minute, same as you." Genma replied, blocking a high roundhouse kick with his forearm, then lashing out with his kick, which was blocked in a similar manner, albeit just barely.

"With you're Jōnin-level chakra reserves..." Sasuke grunted as he tried to grab Genma's leg for a throw, only to nearly be thrown himself as the older male wrenched the limb out of his grip.

"I told you to pace yourself. You're the one who decided to come out firing on all cylinders." Genma pointed out. "You come in like a tornado, trying your damnedest to destroy everything in your path. But what happens when the opponent can weather the storm and you eventually rope out? You're screwed. That's why you always make sure you've got enough in the tank for a game-changer when you see an opening." he then proceeded to demonstrate his point.

Before Sasuke could react, Genma lunged with a right forward elbow to the jaw, followed by a reverse elbow to the chin, snapping the boy's head up and back, allowing Genma to use his left hand to grab the back of Sasuke's head and smash their foreheads together. As the Uchiha stumbled back, hurt and disoriented, the finale came in the form of a spinning back kick to the solar plexus, knocking him back a good ten feet through the air, and another seven along the ground.

With his diaphragm spasming wildly, Sasuke couldn't breathe. He chocked and gasped, writhing in the dirt like a dying fish. He literally had no idea what had hit him, he didn't even know where he was; all he knew was that his body refused to listen to him and it felt like he was going to die. And as he saw Genma appear in his field of view, a wave of terror washed over him, the likes of which he hadn't felt in years. When the Jōnin raised his leg, Sasuke's thrashing reached a new level of urgency.

But it was all in vain; there was no chance of escape, and even less hope of blocking or countering this final blow. As the foot came crashing down, all Sasuke could do was watch.

"And just like that, you're dead." Genma said, pulling his foot from the small crater it had left to the right of Sasuke's head.

"..." unable to speak, the Uchiha could only stare in shock.

"Calm down. You panicking like that is only making it worse. It should pass in a minute." the senbon-chewer walked over to a nearby tree stump to take a seat.

True to form, Genma knew what he was talking about, and after about a minute, the convulsions became more manageable, but Sasuke still wasn't getting up anytime soon. He'd been right to keep himself moving, as his muscles were now so fatigued that they were all but locked in position and even the slightest twitch would cause agonizing cramps.

The thought that he still had another three hours to go made him want to cry.

"Man, you look like shit." Genma chuckled when Sasuke's head slowly turned to level a malignant glare on him. "What? You do. Like hammered shit. And not even fresh shit; you look like shit that's been picked over by bugs and left to dry out in the sun."

"..." Sasuke was not at all amused. Which, in turn, amused Genma greatly.

"So, you want any help to your room, or would you rather just lay there?" the Jōnin asked, much to his student's surprise.

"B-But...there's still three...hours left..." Sasuke said, his voice raspy and uneven.

"And you can't move. I know I could find something to do to you for the next three hours, but what would be the point? Hopefully, you've learned your lesson, and if not...There's no telling when Kakashi will be back, so think about that the next time you're about to do something stupid. He could be back tomorrow, or we could be stuck with each other for another week or two. Kami forbid he doesn't come back at all, I might even be assigned as your official sensei. Wouldn't that be..._fun_?" Genma flashed a friendly smile at his immobile student.

It was one of the scariest things Sasuke had ever seen in his life.

"...I think I'm good here..." the Uchiha let out a sigh of relief when Genma merely shrugged and left. 'Kakashi-sensei...If you die, I swear to Kami, I will find a way to resurrect you, just so I can kill you myself...'

It didn't take long for Sasuke to fall asleep, even on the hard ground. He'd done it many times in the past, training himself into the ground and stopping only when he passed out. The difference was that now, he drifted off knowing that he'd accomplished something. He may have felt like a corpse with a pulse, but as the saying went, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

**Headbutt Count: 120**

**Day 4**

(4:00pm)

Twenty-five hours. That's how long Sasuke had slept, though, if you asked him after he awoke, it felt like twenty-five minutes. He was able to move, but every muscle, joint, tendon and nerve in his body screamed in protest, demanding that he stay down. But the Uchiha willed himself to his feet, if only so he could make it to his bed. Fortunately, he made it without incident...which worried him quite a bit.

This seemed like a prime opportunity for Genma to think up some bullshit training method as a cover to torment his student. But as an hour passed with only a maid appearing to ask if he needed anything, Sasuke began to relax. He was in no condition to do anything if Genma showed up, and hopefully the Jōnin knew that as well and would have the decency not to exploit it. The Uchiha knew he was hoping for too much, but he could dream.

And dream he would...if not for the maid appearing at the side of his bed just as he was about to close his eyes.

"Uchiha-sama, you have a visitor." the woman informed with a small bow, wordlessly asking forgiveness for the intrusion.

"Who is it?" Sasuke asked, knowing it couldn't have been Genma.

"Haruno Sakura." the maid answered with a smile.

Sasuke's eyes widened to near-impossible dimensions. Somehow, some way, he knew Genma was behind this. His first thought was the tell the maid to wave his female teammate away, but then he felt the smallest trace of a foreign chakra signature and looked over to the open door of his room. A few seconds later, a feminine face, framed by pink locks, peaked around the threshold.

"Sasuke-kun?" Sakura called tentatively, not wanting to wake her teammate if he happened to be asleep. When she saw that he wasn't, she smiled brightly and stepped into full view, but remained outside the room. "Sorry if I woke you, but Shiranui-san came to the hospital and said you needed a Medic..." the girl blushed slightly as she trailed off.

"Did he, now..." Sasuke frowned, his suspicions having been confirmed.

"He...He also said that you...specifically requested me..." Sakura's blush deepened as she looked down and off to the side in embarrassment. "I've still got a long way to go in my training...but I'm more than capable of healing minor injuries." she giggled almost uncontrollably, absolutely elated that her crush, who was spoiled for choice as far as doctors went, would choose her above the rest.

Once the shock and happiness wore off, Sakura would come to realize how foolish that sounded and that she had been duped, but for now she was living a dream.

For his part, Sasuke was not at all amused. Though he was grateful to have a Medic on-hand, he couldn't imagine a scenario much worse than this one. His Number One Fangirl was free to let her hands roam all over his body, and he was powerless to stop her. Not only was his body in no condition to fend her off, but his chakra reserves were so low, he'd be lucky to pull off a Kawarimi.

"Well," Sasuke began, just barely succeeding in keeping the tremor out of his voice, "I'm glad you're here...I thought about going to the hospital, but it took everything I had just to get here from the training field out back. And that was after a twenty-five-hour nap."

Sakura merely nodded as she took her first step into her crush's room. Well, her first _invited_ step. Her face felt like it was about to burst into flames, her heart was pounding almost painfully, and various romantic, and in some cases perverted, scenarios flashed through her mind. But through it all, she somehow maintained an air of professionalism when she set about healing her teammate. Though it was safe to say she'd be having some..._interesting_ dreams for the next few weeks.

As she was taught, Sakura started off with a basic Diagnostic technique, making a mental checklist of each injury she found. There were a lot, but luckily they were mostly of the same type. Bruises, partially torn muscles, minor stress fractures, a couple loosened molars; the usual for ninjas who trained a lot. The worst injury she came across was a mild concussion, followed by a sprained left ankle and right wrist, and a deviated septum. There was a time when Sakura would've freaked right the hell out at the mere thought of her crush being wounded like this. Fortunately, her tendency to overreact had been all but done away with in her training.

Ninjas of all kinds were supposed to be calm and collected in even the worst of scenarios, but that went double for Medics. Having a firm handle on your emotions was a must, not only to maintain flawless chakra control, but to keep patients from panicking. If you're working on a man with a gaping hole in his abdomen, you were supposed to remain calm and reassure him that he'd be alright, even if he was quite obvious that he wouldn't be. It simply wouldn't do to have a Medic shrieking, "Oh my God, I can see his spine!" with a look of abstract horror plastered across his/her face. No, that wouldn't do at all.

Of course, Sasuke's injuries were nowhere near life-threatening, so Sakura had little problem keeping her "poker face" up. Once she got over the fact that her hands were mere centimeters away from her crush's skin, that is. In fact, she even took to teasing and chastising the boy; another trick she'd learned from the nurses and doctors who worked under her sensei. Rile up the patients in order to take their minds off whatever they were being treated for, especially effective on people who hated needles.

"Y'know, I didn't notice it at first, but now...You kinda smell, Sasuke-kun." Sakura said, scrunching up her nose for emphasis.

"Nine straight hours of training, twenty-five hours of sleeping on the dirt." Sasuke deadpanned. "I damn-near crawled in here, so forgive me if a shower and a change of clothes weren't exactly the first things on my mind."

"I could give you a sponge bath...I-If you'd like..." Sakura replied, far too quickly for her patient's taste.

"..."

"...So, that's a no?"

"Yes."

"Yes?" Sakura perked up.

"No."

"But you said..."

"As in 'Yes, that's a no'."

"Oh..."

"Hn."

**Headbutt Count: 120**

**Day 5**

(5:45am)

"So, have fun with your girlfriend yesterday?" Genma asked, a cheeky grin on his face.

"Not my girlfriend." Sasuke replied as he popped a frozen "breakfast wrap" into the microwave. He'd picked up a few of them on his last shopping trip, liking the idea of having scrambled eggs, cheese and sausage/bacon all wrapped up and ready to go within a couple minutes.

"Could've fooled me; you made dinner for her after you were healed." the Jōnin pointed out before taking a sip of his orange juice.

"...It would've been rude not to offer her something..." Sasuke wasn't even going to question how Genma knew that.

"Pfft! Like you've EVER been concerned with being rude, especially to a fangirl!" Genma chortled. "In fact, according to you, she's THE fangirl!"

"..." Sasuke didn't have an answer to that. Well, he did, but he sure as hell wasn't about to tell his replacement sensei that he'd actually enjoyed the girl's company. Or that seeing that mature and focused side of her had turned him on somewhat.

"Well, even if she isn't your girlfriend, _now_, I'm sure you'll find someone. Women do love a man that can cook." Genma said, obviously speaking from experience. "Or, failing that, you'll make a lovely wife for some lucky man!"

Sasuke rounded on the man with his "I will destroy you"-glare, to which the older ninja just snickered. Were they not inside his home, the Uchiha would've launched a fireball at the obnoxious shinobi.

Ten seconds later, the microwave beeped and Sasuke retrieved its contents. It was blisteringly hot, but he grabbed it without a care. As an Uchiha, he'd learned of the physical effects that came with having a strong Fire affinity. Along with running a natural body temperature of around a hundred and fifteen degrees Fahrenheit, Sasuke was able to withstand temperatures that others would consider unbearably hot.

When he was first told of this physical benefit by his brother, he'd been skeptical. Probably far moreso than a four-year-old should've. So, to prove it, Itachi had dunked his own hand into a pot of boiling water and kept it there for ten full minutes, without so much as blinking. Sasuke later came to find out that it was something the vast majority of Uchiha were capable of. In fact, it was a source of amusement for many. For decades, a common trick Uchiha liked to play on teammates and such was to "drop" something into a campfire, then casually reach in and take it out. Reportedly, Madara Uchiha in particular liked to do it just to see the looks on people's faces. Similarly, Sasuke remembered his own mother used to reach into the oven to take things out barehanded, in full view of dinner guests.

The boy's lips upturned in a somber smile as he remembered how his mother used to giggle at the expressions on her friends' faces when she did that. Sighing deeply, Sasuke took the first bite of his breakfast wrap, and paused briefly. Not because of the molten cheese that was now stuck to the roof of his mouth, but because of the taste.

"Tastes like shit, doesn't it." Genma said, more of a statement than a question.

Sasuke merely shrugged and started chewing. Yeah, it tasted like garbage. But compared to the dozen ration bars Genma had basically force-fed him a couple weeks ago, it might as well have been straight from the kitchen of a five-star restaurant.

"Yeah, see why I made you eat all those ration bars? After that, you can choke down anything." Genma chuckled as he remembered Sasuke's reaction the first time he bit into one of the vitamin-packed, nutrient-rich sins against nature. "You might want to make a few more of those, 'cause you're gonna need all the energy you can get."

"Hm?" Sasuke paused mid-chew to regard his sensei, not at all liking the grin on the man's face.

"I gave you yesterday off for recovery, and since it wasn't scheduled, I have to make up for lost time today!" impossibly, it looked like Genma's grin became even more sinister.

"...Where is this 'schedule'? Is it written down somewhere? Because I'd like to see it."

"No need to write it down; it's all up here." Genma said, tapping his left temple.

"...Like putting wartime attack plans in a toxic waste dump." the Uchiha mumbled before eating the last bite of the wrap and going to the freezer to get more.

"Better than hiding your diary inside your porn stash." Genma countered, laughing when the Uchiha tripped over his own feet and smacked head-first into the refrigerator door.

"...It's a journal." Sasuke corrected. "And that _'stash' _isn't mine." that was true, as it had actually belonged to one of his cousins. He still looked at it, but it wasn't his...

"Technically, everything on these grounds is yours."

"You know what I meant."

"Yeah, yeah, don't get all defensive, there's no reason to be ashamed. My girl has found my stashes several times. In fact, she steals from them all the time to add to her own collection, which is bigger than mine, by the way."

"I didn't need to know that..." Sasuke groaned.

Upon finding out that Genma had a girlfriend, Sasuke had actually been tempted to ask the man for some advice in finding a girl of his own. Afterall, if an asshole like Genma Shiranui could get a girlfriend, he must have some tricks up his sleeves. But then he found out that said girlfriend, Ruki Hīragi, was just as shameless and demented as Genma himself, perhaps even moreso if the man's stories were to be believed. A true match made in Hell.

"I'm just glad you didn't have any of that weird shit, with the tentacles and the fat old guys and whatnot. Even better, none of that 'yaoi' crap..." Genma shuddered. He'd inadvertently found Ruki's yaoi stash once, and it had scarred him for life. It was a week before he could even look another man in the eye. "Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't care if you were gay, doesn't change what I'm here to do. It would just be...uncomfortable, for both of us. You, looking at me with hungry eyes and being unable to focus on the tasks at hand. Me, trying to ignore your less-than-subtle advances, and trying to refrain from stabbing you when you got too grabby..." Genma trailed off when he noticed Sasuke's downright laughable expression. "What? I think we both know that you'd never be able to resist me. I _was_ voted one of the sexiest men in the village by the Kunoichi League." to be precise, he'd come in second place in the "Hottest Jōnin" category last year, behind Kakashi, who'd been number one several years running.

Outrage, disgust, anger and shock vied for dominance over Sasuke's face as he continued to stare at his sensei. Was there anything this guy WOULDN'T say?!

'Why am I even surprised anymore?' Sasuke thought as he finally collected himself and decided to ignore the man. But as he turned back to the fridge, he scowled. There, stuck to the freezer door, was a life-sized cutout of Genma's face. Turning back to the man himself, the Uchiha pointed at the cutout and glared, demanding an answer for its presence.

Genma only shrugged and took another sip of his orange juice.

Growling slightly, Sasuke went to remove the cutout, only for the freezer door to suddenly swing open and crack him right in the face. As he went down, Genma shot out of his seat, not to check on his student, but to do a little victory dance.

"Did that count?" Genma's Shadow Clone asked as it climbed out of the freezer, brushing bits of ice off its shoulders.(8)

"Dunno, but it was funny!" the real Genma guffawed.

"Oh! Check it out!" the clone exclaimed as it shut the freezer door, pointing at the sizeable dent in the metal, smack in the middle of the cutout.

"HAH! Please, tell me you caught that!" Genma said, seemingly to no one. A second later, a maid showed up, with a look of disapproval on her face and a camcorder in her hand.

"As you requested, Shiranui-san." the woman said as she handed over the device, then pocketed the pouch of money she received in exchange. "But I still have to say that I don't at all condone your treatment of Uchiha-sama."

"But you still think it's funny." Genma grinned.

"..." the maid simply looked away and left the kitchen, disappearing around a corner.

From his place on the floor, Sasuke fumed. 'With Kami as my witness, there will be a reckoning!'

(Uchiha Compound - Private Training Ground, 8:55am)

"I think you broke it..." Sasuke said, clutching his bleeding nose and blinking the tears out of his eyes.

"I did not." Genma scoffed. "You wouldn't be standing if I did. It's your fault anyway, you moved."

"The hell else was I supposed to do?!" Sasuke questioned indignantly, which was quite hilarious with his voice being so muffled and nasally at the moment.

"Move _faster_. You've avoided twenty-two headbutts, so I know you can do it."

"And I've been hit by fifty-three, so that's not saying much." Sasuke mumbled, forcing a glob of blood and mucus out of his right nostril.

"Hey, hey, no belittling yourself. That's my job."

"Belittle this!" Sasuke charged, a kunai in each hand. Weapons were allowed for this particular Taijutsu session, not that it made any real difference. The only melee weapon he was any good with was a kunai or a similar light, short-range weapon, and unfortunately the miniscule addition to his strike range still wasn't enough to compensate for Genma's longer limbs.

But, all the same, having a blade in his hand at least made the Uchiha feel better.

"Okay," Genma shrugged, then ducked under a horizontal swipe, "you move like a turtle." he jumped over a leg sweep, "Way too predictable." he leaned away from an upward vertical slash, "Not even close." he twisted his body to the side to avoid a lunging stab, "It's like you're a rank amateur."

Making a sound akin to an angry crocodile, Sasuke made to attack again, but was halted by a sudden feminine voice.

"Pardon the interruption, Uchiha-sama, Shiranui-san, but there is a visitor at the front door." one of the maids announced as she appeared, seemingly out of thin air, about fifty feet away from the two combatants.

"Who is it?" Sasuke asked, giving Genma a dirty look out of the corner of his eye.

"Your sensei." the maid replied with that signature, eerily serene smile that all the other maids wore when they appeared.

"But Genma's right..." Sasuke trailed off, looking back and forth between the maid and the older male. After some five seconds, he took off like a rocket, barreling into his house, through the halls and to the front door, nearly tearing it off its hinges when he opened it.

Sure enough, he was greeted by the sight of the tall, one-eyed man with the gravity-defying silver hair.

"Y-..." Kakashi's trademark greeting was cut short when he saw that the bottom half of his student's face, as well as his shirt and parts of his shorts, was covered in blood. Fresh blood, his nose told him. "...He got you good."

Sasuke's expression dropped into a deadpan instantly. "I'm fine, by the way. Thank you _so_ much for caring, sensei."

"Of course! What kind of sensei would I be if I didn't care?" Kakashi replied with his signature "eye-smile", though he inwardly flinched at his words.

"The kind you left me with." Sasuke said, jerking his thumb over shoulder, to where he knew Genma was standing behind him.

"I think I take offense to that." the senbon-chewer's eyebrows furrowed slightly.

"The truth hurts."

"As much as that nose of yours?"

"You tell me." Sasuke quipped without thinking, and immediately regretted it as Genma's hand came around to harshly pinch his nose, drawing a strangled cry of surprise and agony from the black-haired boy.

"Yeah, I think you got me beat." Genma smirked, then turned his attention back to Kakashi, who appeared to be completely lost. "What's up, Kakashi? Didn't expect you to be back so soon."

"Would've been back sooner, but...something came up." Kakashi said with a nod in greeting to his fellow Jōnin.

"Anything to start a war over?" while the tone denoted a joke, for an experienced shinobi like Kakashi, it was plain to tell that Genma was dead serious. International incidents were no laughing matter, especially when the other party involved was a village with a long history of open hostility.

"Not at all. In fact, I'd say it was critical in changing Kumogakure's attitude towards us. One of the members of the escort team helped a Kumo shinobi fend off a nukenin ambush, but was severely injured during the battle. We had no way of transporting him back here in a way that was both safe and fast enough, so when the Raikage offered his own village's Medics to help, we couldn't very well turn him down. I must say, their staff and medical facilities are fantastic; our comrade went from knocking on the Shinigami's door, to being healthy enough to travel in just three days!"

Just like it was easy for Kakashi to tell Genma was being serious, it was easy for Genma to tell that Kakashi's story was made up of half-truths and whole lies. It had to be; there was no way he'd be talking about the REAL details of an S-Class mission in front of a Genin so casually. And a quick glance at Sasuke's expression told both men that the boy wasn't really buying it, either.

Fortunately, Sasuke knew his place and didn't dare dig for more info. Honestly, he couldn't have cared less about Kumogakure anyway.

But it wasn't the mission itself that really got Genma curious. Unless the entire team had been going full-tilt all the way, it should've taken some two days just to get to Kumo from Konoha, and another two to get back. Four days just for travel alone, yet here Kakashi was, after having been gone for barely five. That didn't add up at all, but Genma decided he could save the grilling for later.

"Glad to hear that this comrade is okay. Anyone I know?"

"Maybe. He was a Hunter-nin, and you know how they are about their identities. That's why Hokage-sama assigned him to the team, as a wildcard, an unknown factor that would make any would-be assassins think twice. Even we, as his temporary teammates, weren't privy to his real identity." Kakashi explained.

"I see. Oh well, comes with the job, I suppose." Genma shrugged, hiding his shock at the fact that it was Naruto, of all people, who'd been injured helping out the Kumo ninja. Though, it did explain why their "comrade" was back on his feet after only three days. "So, is there something you need ol' Duckass for?" the man smiled as he blocked Sasuke's attempted back elbow to the gut. "I mean, I figure you'd be lounging at home, thinking about that big payday you've got coming for an S-Class mission."

"Oh, I am. I just came to tell Sasuke about our team meeting tomorrow." Kakashi turned his single-eyed gaze to the young Uchiha. "Tomorrow, eight o'clock, Training Ground Seven."

"Oh, goody, more D-Class missions. I don't think I'll be able to sleep tonight, I'm so excited." Sasuke drawled.

"That's the spirit! Now if only Naruto had been so enthusiastic..."

"Wait, what? Naruto's back..." Sasuke paused when he felt Genma poke his spine with a single finger, "on the team? I was beginning to think he'd been transferred or something."

"Thinking, or hoping?" Kakashi prodded.

"A little of both." Sasuke admitted.

"Tch, 'a little', he says..." Genma scoffed.

"Well, it looks like you two are getting along just fine, so I'll let you get back to it. Just don't be too hard on him, Genma; I don't want him showing up tomorrow looking like he just went toe-to-toe with the Hokage."

"Don't worry about it, he'll be in tip-top shape to get his ass kicked by Naruto!" Genma flashed a thumbs up while stepping to the left to avoid Sasuke's back kick.

"I knew I could count on you!" Kakashi returned the gesture in kind, then vanished in a swirl of leaves.

"So, our last day together..." Genma remarked.

For a few seconds, student and sensei just stood there at the threshold, staring out onto the street where Kakashi had been. Then, Sasuke whimpered, and behind him Genma adopted an insidious grin.

"Kakashi-sensei...Don't leave me with the bad man..."

(10:05pm)

For the tenth time in the last five minutes, Sasuke leaned into the large vanity mirror in his bathroom, analyzing the condition of his nose. He was convinced that it was crooked. It felt crooked. But, try as he might, he couldn't actually see that it was crooked. But it had to be. After another two hours of training and thirty-nine more headbutts, several of which had impacted his nose hard enough to make it bleed, there was no way it was still totally straight.

"Hm, maybe I'll ask Sakura to fix it tomorrow." Sasuke mumbled to himself as he checked over his reflection one last time, then turned out the light and left the bathroom.

Climbing into bed, the Uchiha picked up his remote and proceeded to channel surf. But as he scanned through program after program, his thoughts weren't on the television. He couldn't deny that he was excited about tomorrow; with the full team back together, they would be allowed to do higher-ranked missions. But that excitement was tempered with trepidation, and perhaps a bit of outright fear. Naruto was likely to be in a rare mood, and that meant nothing but trouble for everyone, even their sensei. He may not have known very much about his masked peer, but it didn't take a genius to deduce that bad things happened when Naruto got angry. His outbursts back in Wave Country proved that, as he'd damn near killed them all, twice. First with pure killing intent, and the next with a giant fireball that put anything Sasuke had seen from a fellow Uchiha to shame.

Hopefully, having narrowly avoided prison time, and perhaps even execution, Naruto would be on his best behavior. But he certainly wasn't betting on it.

**Headbutt Count: 213**

**Day 6**

(7:00am)

As Sasuke entered the kitchen, he groaned when he saw Genma waiting for him.

"Whatever you're here for, just remember that I've got somewhere to be in an hour, and if I don't make it, it'll be up to YOU to explain it to Kakashi-sensei."

"Relax, I'm not here to hit you or anything. Just came to...see you off, I guess." Genma shrugged.

"Eh?" Sasuke was officially stumped.

"Don't read too much into it. I don't know when I'll be 'contracted' again, so I figured I might as well say what I've got to say to you now." Genma stood up from his seat and walked over to his student. "I'll admit I misjudged you. I took you for a prepubescent pretty-boy who'd go crying to a Councilman the moment I really hit you. But you blew my expectations out of the water; you're the toughest little SOB I've seen in years. Infinitely better than any of the pissants I've been assigned to in the past. And once you pulled your head out of your ass, I even kinda liked having you around, and not just as a handy punching bag." Genma snickered at Sasuke's indignant scowl. "You've come a long way since we first met, and you can only get better from here. Just remember what you've been taught, and keep that ego of yours in check. I mean it, few people in this world are willing to accept that kind of arrogance from anyone, let lone some wet-behind-the-ears Genin who thinks he's hot shit because he's got some freaky eyes."

Sasuke twitched at the "freaky eyes" bit, but nodded nonetheless. Genma may have been a jerk, but he'd proven time and again that he knew what he was talking about.

"Thanks, I think..."

"Don't mention it. Really, don't. I'll deny it all, and no one will believe you over me. Then I'll hunt you down and headbutt you so hard, your teeth will fly out the back of your head." Genma threatened, his face a mask of seriousness.

"...That's impossible." Sasuke retorted.

"Remember what happened when you said that about seal-less techniques? I've seen your 'impossible'; should I raise you an 'I-just-fucking-did-it'?"

"Nope, I'm good."

"Thought so. Well, I'll leave you to it, then. Later, Sasuke." Genma smirked, then turned on his heel and made to leave.

"...Hey, Genma-sensei..." Sasuke called, making the man stop.

"Yeah, wha-!" before the Jōnin could react, Sasuke was in his face, literally. As their heads smashed together, there was a shudder-inducing crunch, followed by the sound of liquid hitting the hardwood floor, then the sound of a body hitting said floor and muffled screaming.

"AH FUCK!" the Uchiha screeched, gingerly holding his broken nose.

Standing above him, completely unaffected, Genma shook his head. "Did you really think that would work?" at the last millisecond, the man had dropped his head slightly, so instead of their foreheads crashing together, it was Sasuke's nose that took the brunt of the impact, hitting Genma's forehead just below the hairline.

"Honestly? No. But I figured it was worth a sho-URGH!" the Uchiha's entire body shuddered with pain when he put a bit too much pressure on his nose.

Genma simply rolled his eyes before helping his student up. It was an admirable effort, and on someone less prepared, it would've worked. But Genma lived by the motto of "expect the unexpected"; he was always on alert. _Always_.

"Well, I suppose we should get you to a Medic. Fortunately, we've got plenty of time."

"...I'm gonna be late, I just know it."

"And? This is _Kakashi_ we're talking about, here, kid. You could show up at noon and he'd have no right to say a word about it." as they walked towards the door, Genma suddenly whirled around just as one of the maids appeared to keep up the blood on the floor. "AH-HAH! I knew it, advanced Body Flicker!" he cackled. "Now all I've got to do is figure out where you hide out when you're not working! No one gets the drop on Shiranui Genma, your secrets shall be mine!" and then, the man blinked.

Just that fast, the woman was behind them, causing both males to release high-pitched yelps. Sasuke was especially startled, as he'd been staring right at the women and still hadn't seen her move.

She said nothing, just standing there with that peaceful, friendly smile on her lips, and her head tilted ever so slightly to the right. Then, still without a word, she walked around the two and off down the hall, moving out of sight around the first corner.

The look Genma and Sasuke shared said it all.

Just where the hell did the Council find these women?!

**Headbutt Count: 214**

XXXX

Whoo! Man, this thing kicked my ass for the longest time, but I finally conquered it! And I hope you guys appreciate it, because it's nearly 7:00am where I am, and I've been up all night finishing this thing up!

(1) I'm trying to give you guys a better idea of timeframes in the story, so I'm experimenting with these new scene breaks that include both the location and time.

(2) Even in-canon, unless at least one of the fighters specializes almost exclusively in ranged attacks, like Sasori, Deidara, Tenten, Kankuro, etc, ninjas spend the majority of their fights up close and personal.

(3) You've all seen it at one point or another. Most often tomatoes, but sometimes it's apples, potatoes, peaches, and even onions. The telltale sign that some jackass pushed his/her nail into something and had the nerve to put it back like nothing happened. I stopped biting my nails a long time ago because it's unsanitary, so how do you think I feel about eating something that's contaminated by the shit under someone else's nails? Fucking disgusting.

(4) As I said before in regards to languages, the world in the Black Flames Universe isn't as strictly Asian as it is in-canon. Remember, this story actually takes place well into the future of our world, and is the result of Japan becoming the new America; the world's melting pot. So while Japanese names are more common, Western names aren't that uncommon(though, in places like Konoha, they're uncommon enough to be considered "exotic"), which will be made more apparent later in the story.

(5) In this story, chakra is made up of Physical, Mental and Spiritual energy. They can each be used individually, but when it comes to elemental Ninjutsu, it's a must to use all three in concert. Spiritual energy summons the element, as it comes from the soul, which is what elemental affinities are directly tied to. Mental energy shapes and guides the element as needed. Physical energy protects the user from the element as needed, meaning it keeps them from getting burned, electrocuted or sliced into ribbons by their own attacks.

It's the balance of these energies that allows the use of chakra, so when the balance is disrupted, no more chakra. However, the energies can still be harnessed individually to incredible effect. Those with higher amounts of Physical energy can manipulate their bodies in thousands of ways, allowing for feats of strength and speed that defy normal human limitations. Rock Lee is a perfect example of this.

Those with higher Spiritual energy can summon elements at will outside of their bodies, anywhere within their line of sight. Meaning they can do things like set people on fire just by looking at them. At high enough levels, they're more or less capable of "becoming one" with their element(s), protecting them from harm.

Those with higher Mental energy can, as you'd probably guess, are capable of telepathy, mind control and telekinesis, and even have the ability to control elements, though they can't summon them.

There's a lot more to it than this, but that'll be explained later in the story. This is just to give you the gist of it.

(6) Meisaigakure - Hiding With Camouflage technique: In-canon, it's a Predator-style active-camo, technique, invented by Iwagakure, that renders the user _mostly_ invisible, as well as hiding their scent and causing them to cast no shadow. In this story, the Meisaigakure is actually Konoha's rip-off of Iwa's technique, which is called simply the Chameleon Technique. It's not as effective, but it uses less chakra and requires less concentration to maintain.

Downburst: An original technique based on an actual phenomenon, this technique creates a sphere or ring of compressed air above the user, then sends it smashing into whatever surface their standing on. This causes the ball/ring to burst and release the trapped air outward across the ground, creating winds powerful enough to destroy buildings, uproot trees and/or send people flying for hundreds of feet at impressive velocities.

Needle Blitz: Another original technique, invented by Genma himself within the story, that allows the user to spit senbon needles from their mouth, either real or made of chakra, in rapid succession and very high speeds. It can be considered Genma's "finishing move".

Muteki Haizō - Invincible Lungs(I think...): Yet another original technique, invented by Kirigakure in the story, and copied by Konoha, among others. Basically creates a chakra respirator/oxygen extractor that allows the user to breathe in low-oxygen environments.

(7) Ba-dum Pssh!

(8) Yes, it counts.

Hopefully, this will tide you all over until I can get the next chapter out. Also, as some of you may know, I've started a short side-story to Black Flames called "Vengeance". Basically, it details what happens during the week that separates the end of the last chapter, with the beginning of the next chapter, where Naruto's got some free time on his hands and uses it to hunt down, torment and kill the men who raped him as a child. It's straight up, balls-out horror, containing the darkest shit I've written thus far. Plus, it's all canon to the main story, just like this "omake" here. It was originally meant to be a Halloween Special, but...Yeah. Unfortunately, it's kicking my ass just the same as this thing did. But, if you guys care enough to want to see it, add it to your story alerts or something, so when I do update it, you'll know.

Honestly, I didn't really want to make any kind of official announcement until I actually had something to announce(as in a real chapter for the thing), but it just so happened that this got finished first, so here's the announcement.

Well, I think that's about it. You guys know the drill, if you've got questions, don't be shy about asking. I'll answer as best I can. Suggestions are welcome, but if you're just mad that MY story isn't going the way YOU want it to, piss off. You want to see your specific vision put into words? Do as I have, and write it yourself.

And on a relate note: I DO NOT ACCEPT CHALLENGES. Ever. I've got enough projects to work on already. I'm flattered when people think I'm good enough to be trusted to bring their ideas to life, but I'm not looking to add anything else to the project list. If you don't think you've got the talent to do it yourself, there are forums specifically for challenges, and authors who specialize in them.

That's all for now, folks!

Jason Out!


	43. Back From The Brink

'Sup? Been a while, but I'm back!

Okay, so I got some 'splainin' to do. As usual, the initial plans did not survive first contact with the enemy. The enemy, again as usual, being the Idea Factory. I had this chapter all mapped out in my head, but then I just kept adding to it and adding to it, and most of it turned out to be good enough to keep. Before I knew it, I had something that would require two separate chapters, if only so the end product wouldn't be too big to upload.

You all wanted to know Kakashi's fate, so this chapter will mainly be dealing with that, and the next will be the Kurama Clan "mini-arc", as voted on by you guys. Fortunately, I've found myself writing that arc in disjointed bits and pieces, and I've probably got about half of it done already. Just a handful of scenes and material to make it all fit together, and I'm golden. Hopefully, it'll be done before the month's out. Yeah, I know, two updates in a single month, but don't have a heart attack just yet. I can't guarantee anything...Well, there is one thing I CAN guarantee: after the next chapter comes the moment you've all been waiting for. That's right, the Chūnin Exams! Man, I'm hyped for it! I know you guys have been anticipating it for a LONG time, but I've been chomping at the bit to write it, and now that it's just around the corner...Not gonna lie, I've actually been losing sleep due to sheer excitement.

But that's the future; let's get back to the present. Be warned, this chapter is very dialogue-heavy, and you wouldn't be wrong to call it an info-dump. Lots of new terms, lots of explanations and some more glimpses into the history of the world. I've done my best to keep it from being boring, but it'll be up to you to decide whether I succeeded or not.

Let's get this show on the road!

XXXX

(?)

Kakashi awoke, dizzy and delirious, but coherent enough to know that something was wrong. Well, two things, really. First: The fact that he had woken up in the first place, after having most certainly died. Second: He was moving, quickly, through what appeared to be a forest, judging from the amount of trees whipping by him.

His head turned to look behind him, completely out of his control, and what he saw instantly cleared the cobwebs from his mind. It was Rin running after him, just as he remembered her last. Her face a mask of terror and desperation, marring her normally beautiful features in a way that Kakashi couldn't stand.

"No...No! Not this! Anything but this!" Kakashi screamed as he struggled, in vain, to gain control of his body.

He knew what this was now. He had seen it before...Nearly every night for the past thirteen years, in fact.

_"Come on, Rin, we gotta keep moving!" _Kakashi heard himself yell, his voice still at the higher pitch indicative of adolescence. _"They're still on our tail!"_

_"Kaka...shi..." _the girl panted heavily, unevenly, _"I don't know...how much...longer I can run..."_

Kakashi could feel his fists clenching. Rin was slowing down, lagging further behind with every passing second. He was afraid to even take his eyes off of her, worried that her body would give up the ghost at any moment.

_'I...I have to do something...I have to do something!' _Kakashi could hear his younger-self's thoughts as if he were actually speaking them.

"No...NO! Don't stop! Pick her up and carry her; anything else! Just don't stop, you bastard!" Kakashi shrieked.

His younger self didn't listen. He stopped.

Kakashi was assaulted by a blinding light and a sense of vertigo. Then, as quickly as it had happened, it was over, and he was back in the forest, still just a passenger along for the ride.

They had stopped. And now, they were surrounded. Eight men, a mix of Kiri and Iwa shinobi, all Jōnin-level and, most importantly, fresh. They had full tanks, while their quarry was running on fumes. Easy pickings.

But, as the men moved in, splitting into two groups of four, Kakashi noticed that only his four were coming with the intent to murder. The look in the eyes of the men approaching Rin spoke of something so much worse.

_"GET AWAY FROM HER!"_ Kakashi roared in unison with his younger self.

What happened next was a blur of motion, pain and blood. Kakashi became an animal; a deranged beast with an insatiable appetite for death. One man went down, his face twisted in shock and horror as he clawed at the ragged, gaping hole in his neck. The missing chunk was clenched in Kakashi's right hand, gore squelching through his fingers as his fist tightened to the point that the bones within audibly creaked under the pressure. With that fist cocked back, the boy launched himself at his next target, a Kiri nin who was apparently too scared to do more than stare and whimper.

Unfortunately, the man's other comrades weren't so useless. Kakashi didn't even feel the blade enter his back and slip between his third and fourth Lumbar vertebrae, severing his spine with expert precision. But it didn't much matter to him at that point. Even as his legs went limp and his face hit the dirt, Kakashi continued forward, using his arms to pull himself along the ground with impressive speed. But before he could reach his target, who had tripped on his own feet in his effort to back away, Kakashi's progress was halted by a foot slamming down between his shoulder blades and pinning him to the ground.

Kakashi still didn't care. His hands still clawed at the dirt, struggling for enough purchase to drag their owner along once again. But soon they, too, were incapacitated. The ground itself opened up and swallowed them, then squeezed, crushing the bones.

The enemy ninjas started speaking, but Kakashi couldn't make out anything they were saying, and he didn't care. He didn't need to hear what they were saying in order to kill them. He just needed to get up. Stop lying down and get up!

"GET UP!" Kakashi screamed, the sound bouncing off on nonexistent walls and echoing around him. Mocking him with his own words.

His vision changed, the color draining from everything around him. Everything but Rin. Her face was still in brilliant color and vivid detail. He could see every smudge of dirt and grime, every drop of sweat, every tear in her eyes. He could make out her dilated pupils, and the wound on her bottom lip reopening as she screamed for him. Even her words came through clear as day, fueling his rage. Not that it mattered.

Then, just as an Iwa shinobi backhanded Rin across the face for spitting in his, there was a sudden scream of pain that drew everyone's attention, even Kakashi's. What he saw, to this day, he couldn't explain. The scream had come from another Iwa ninja, who was getting his limbs hacked off by some invisible force. At first, Kakashi had felt a sense of relief, thinking that it was his sensei coming to the rescue. But there was no golden flash, and the future Fourth Hokage never appeared. Whatever it was, it wasn't the Hiraishin, but it was every bit as deadly.

Kakashi continued to watch in morbid fascination as the enemy ninjas scrambled around, looking for their assailant, but finding nothing as they were systematically picked apart. What was this? With the Hiraishin eliminated, the next logical conclusion was a Wind technique, such as the Kaze no Yaiba. But then one of the Kiri ninjas had his head turned a complete one-hundred and eighty degrees with a sickening crack. Wind techniques couldn't do that. An active camouflage technique? But Iwagakure had written the book on those techniques, and Kirigakure had been allowed to study from that book, so there was no way this many high-level ninjas would be fooled by their own technique. But that was everything. Kakashi knew of nothing else that could allow for what his eyes were seeing.

_"Kakashi!" _hearing Rin's voice, Kakashi turned his head to see her running towards him, having been completely forgotten by their enemies. Or so it seemed.

Time slowed to a crawl as Rin looked off to her left. Just in time to catch a small, high-pressure jet of water between the eyes. Neither her forehead protector nor her skull offered any resistance whatsoever as the jet passed through her cranium cleanly, tinged red as it came out the back of her head. Rin's body went limp, her momentum causing her corpse to slide across the ground until it came to rest face-to-face with Kakashi. Her wide, lifeless eyes staring endlessly into his own horrified orbs as the fabric of her forehead protector was slowly saturated with watery blood from the inch-wide, perfectly circular hole in her forehead, just above her eyebrow ridge. He could actually all the way through to the other side.

In the blink of an eye, Kakashi Hatake was gone, and in his place was a demon. A being from the deepest, foulest pits of Hell, summoned for one thing and one thing alone: Vengeance. Tracing the trajectory of the attack, Kakashi's eyes locked onto the Kiri ninja who he'd failed to kill before. Whatever had killed his comrades had failed to finish him off, as it only took his right leg, cleanly severing it just above the knee.

The man was so wrapped up in his own agony, that he didn't notice the half paralyzed boy until the rabid teen was almost on top of him. When he did catch sight of the deranged youth, literally frothing at the mouth as he dragged himself forward, broken hands and all, the Kiri Jōnin squealed like a frightened animal and scrambled for anything he could use to defend himself. He quickly found a kunai, but dropped it when the silver-haired boy bit into his hand.

Kakashi never broke eye-contact with the screaming man, even when the enemy ninja starting using his right hand to punch. The man was losing blood rapidly, and even his adrenaline-fueled blows lacked any real power, though he did manage to break Kakashi's nose. The boy didn't even blink. Nor did he flinch when he felt several of his teeth crack as he crunched through the bones in the man's left hand and tore away the sizeable chunk held in his mouth, which included the pinky finger. Spitting it out, Kakashi pulled himself on top of the man and opened his mouth to an almost inhuman degree. At the same time, the Kiri shinobi picked up another kunai in his right hand and raised it high. In unison, both blade and tooth came down.

Just as before, the boy didn't feel the blade enter his back, parting skin and muscle like warm butter, and cleaving through bone to bury itself deep within his left lung. All he felt was soft, exposed flesh giving way to his incisors and canines, and warm, metal-tinged liquid filling his mouth. He didn't even flinch when the blade entered two more times, puncturing the same organ again. All he did was _eat_. Unwilling to part from his prey's throat, the blood and viscera that his teeth sheered off with every motion of his jaw had nowhere to go but down his gullet. He didn't care. He had but one weapon with which to avenge Rin, and he would use it to make sure this man died. He would chew and chew and chew, until there was nothing left to devour, and he prayed to Kami that the man would feel every microsecond of it.

Even as the man's body began to cool as it was drained of blood, Kakashi didn't stop. Even when he encountered tough, rubber-like tendons, he didn't stop. Only when his incisors shattered as he tried to bite into one of the cervical vertebrae did he finally stop.

Its job done, the beast possessing Kakashi's body left, taking his remaining strength with it. He collapsed immediately, rolling off of his victim to lay supine on the blood-soaked earth. Tears flowed freely from his eyes, but in reality, he felt no sadness, or even anger. No, as he looked up through the canopy, to the bright, cloudless sky above, he felt only...bitterness.

He couldn't win. He just couldn't win, and it wasn't fair. He lived by the rules and strived to be the perfect shinobi, and he'd lost Obito. Then he said "to hell with the rules" and lived by Obito's code, valuing comrades above all else, and now he'd lost Rin. Every decision he'd made, every path he'd taken, they all led to the same ending.

But that was life. It wasn't fair. It sucked, and then you died, as the popular saying went. This wasn't an action movie or a thrilling manga, and there was no better reality check than the sky overhead. When shit like this happened in the movies, it was always at night, and the scene ended with the hero cradling his deceased loved one in his arms and screaming his heart out as the rain began to pour down, as if the heavens themselves wept for his loss. But this was no movie. The blood was real, the death was real, the pain was _real_. There was no darkness or heart-wrenching music, just the sun hanging in the sky and birds chirping merrily as they flew overhead. Mocking him. This was reality. Though Kakashi's world had just been razed to the ground in a split second, the world itself kept right on going without a single fuck given.

Had he the strength, Kakashi would've laughed. He'd never been an idealistic person. His father had raised him to be realist from day one, and he had learned early on that life was a bitch. But today he'd learned that no matter how jaded and cynical a person was, life could still surprise them with just how cruel it could be.

But it looked like he wouldn't have to worry about life's cruelty for much longer. He was dying and he knew it, but he couldn't bring himself to care. What else did he have to live for? His family was gone, his best friends were gone, and as a failure, what use would he be to the village? He was better off dead, and so he welcomed that cold embrace without a second thought...

Kakashi awoke once again, shooting upright and gasping for air. Just as he did every other time he was forced to relive that terrible day in the realm of dreams.

"Well, they do say your life passes before your eyes just before you die." Kakashi let out a shuddering breath. "But if I'm dead, then..." taking stock of his surroundings, the silver-haired man became more and more distressed.

Seeing the trees surrounding him, his first thought was that he had been tricked. That Naruto had played a cruel, but admittedly well-deserved prank on him, and had left him lying in a pathetic heap in the middle of the training ground. But when the fog over his mind cleared, he came to realize that, though he was surrounded by a forest on all sides, he was NOT in Konoha.

Everything about this forest was just _wrong_. Contradictions and impossibilities piled atop one another. The soil was firm and solid enough to support his weight without him sinking into it. But upon inspection, it was unnaturally soft and loose; more like dust or ash than dirt, in both appearance and texture. The air felt stagnant and humid on his skin, yet cold and thin as he breathed it in, as if he were up on a mountain. But these trees couldn't possibly survive in such an environment. The trees were huge and ancient, but with their gnarled, twisted and discolored appearances, they looked to be dead. Yet the canopy was lush with healthy leaves, rustling in a breeze that couldn't be felt. Even the sky defied comprehension, with alternating colors and stars that literally changed position every time Kakashi blinked.

"...Where the hell am I?" the Jōnin said as he tried to stand up, only to let out an almighty scream as blinding pain sent him back down.

It was then that Kakashi noticed the huge wound on his torso; a diagonal slash going from his left shoulder, to his right hip. It was deep, too. Very, very deep. The blade that had left the injury had cleaved right through his collarbone, just barely missing the subclavian artery, and through his ribcage. If Kakashi had to guess, he'd say his left lung was all but bisected, and his liver had a nice, deep gash in it. He could even see a tiny bit of what looked like his small intestine hanging out of the impeccably clean cut.

Well, at least now he knew he was officially dead, as if the environment wasn't enough proof. A wound like that was fatal within seconds, minutes if he was unlucky, and with the combination of shock and blood loss, there'd be no way he'd be so coherent even if he was still alive.

This revelation brought him back to his previous question; specifically, the word "hell". Perhaps that's where he was? The place didn't fit the typical depiction of the underworld, but it was also said that Hell had no real form, and was different for everyone. Afterall, it was supposed to be a place where the wicked were punished, and being forced to walk through a dark, twisted forest, reliving your worst memories for an eternity was as good a punishment as any. It was actually quite poetic, if he thought about it. He always said he was "lost of the road of life", and now he would truly be lost, doomed to forever wander down paths that led nowhere. The white-hot agony of his wound was just the cherry on top of the sundae.

Even so, he couldn't just sit there forever. Even if there was no point, he had to get up. If he was already dead, the wound was little more than a very painful nuisance, it wouldn't hinder his movement. Who knew, maybe there was even a way out of this twisted forest.

"Yeah...Gotta stay positive..." Kakashi let out a rueful chuckle before gathering himself and struggling to his feet, trying desperately to ignore the pain, as well as the incredibly disturbing noises that accompanied his movements.

His hands instinctively went to his abdomen, where the cut had visibly done the most damage. God, that _was_ a bit of intestine poking out, and he could _feel_ it! It didn't really hurt, but "weird" didn't even begin to describe what it felt like to be able to directly poke one's own internal organs. He had to make a conscious effort to keep himself from trying to pull on it.

After taking a few steps and making sure he wouldn't collapse, Kakashi decided it was time to head off. Where, he had no idea, but the longer he stood around in the same place, the more he felt like he shouldn't be doing so. He felt exposed and vulnerable inside the small clearing. At least in the trees he could use the fauna for cover and escape if need be, provided his injury would allow for tree-hopping.

(Konohagakure no Sato - Naruto's Apartment, 9:00am)

Seated in the recliner in his living room, Naruto looked from his watch to the apartment door for the tenth time in the past five minutes.

"They should've been here by now..." he mumbled to himself. What was taking them so long? By all rights, they should have intercepted him on his way home, or been waiting for him when he arrived. But so far fifteen minutes have passed without so much as a knock on the door.

In that time, he had tried to distract himself with other thoughts, such as what to do about Pondera, who was apparently pissed about something and had gone into hiding in the Shadow Realm. And Nightmare, who'd gone into hiding within Naruto's own mind. And Kyuubi, who was still giving him the cold shoulder. But he could never stay on those topics for more than a minute at most before looking at his watch again.

Why was he so paranoid in the first place? This was the same old song and dance he'd been through dozens of times before. Every time he maimed, murdered or otherwise harmed someone, he would simply go about his day until the ANBU "escorted" him to the Sandaime's office. There, he'd explain himself, often with accompanying video evidence, and be cleared of any charges once it was decided that he had done nothing wrong. From a legal standpoint, anyway. This was no different...

"No...This is entirely different." Naruto muttered, running a hand through his hair.

The vast majority of his previous victims had been civilians who didn't have any power or influence, and had no affiliations with people who did. And despite appearances to the contrary, Konoha was the same as any other place with a social hierarchy, in that the "little guys" always took a backseat to those higher up on the ladder. Kill some no-name street vendor, and it was entirely possible to get off with just a slap on the wrist. Kill a wealthy merchant with political ties, and going rogue would probably be easier than trying to get out of several decades in prison, or execution.

But Kakashi wasn't some no-name street vendor. He was one of Konoha's elite soldiers, which ranked him higher than all but the absolute richest of civilians. He was also one of their most (in)famous, meaning even his reputation was valuable, as it bolstered Konoha's _perceived_ military might in the eyes of enemies, potential and established. If the news of it got out, which it inevitably would, the loss of his reputation would be almost as much of a blow as the death of the man himself. No, this wasn't something Naruto could afford to treat so lightly, and he was kicking himself for even entertaining the notion. He could imagine Kyuubi sitting in her chamber, shaking her head in disapproval.

What he should've done was go right to the Hokage and get the facts out before anyone had a chance to stick their nose in and put their spin on it. The document would prove him right regardless, but be could save himself a whole lot of grief by closing the case before there even was a case. Hopefully, it wasn't too late to do so now.

Course of action decided, Naruto sank into his shadow and vanished.

(Hokage Tower, 9:10am)

At her usual station outside the Hokage's door, Mihoshi hummed a little tune to herself as her olive-green eyes swept back and forth across her computer monitor. It had been a pretty slow morning so far, so she'd turned to her hobby of virtual jigsaw puzzles to relieve the boredom. Physically relaxing, yet mentally stimulating, she saw it as the perfect way to kill time.

So engrossed was she in her task that she didn't even flinch when Naruto stepped out of a shadowed corner of the waiting area and walked up to her desk.

"Good morning, Mihoshi-san." Naruto greeted, getting a small jump out of the women as she finally noticed him.

"Oh!" she squeaked. "Forgive me, I was a bit distracted." she smiled sheepishly. "Go right in, Hokage-sama's been expecting you."

"...Right." Naruto replied, tensing imperceptibly as he realized the situation. The reason the ANBU hadn't shown up was because none had been sent out. The old man had expected him to come of his own accord, and was probably none too pleased about him taking so long.

With a nod to the secretary, Naruto steeled himself and opened the door to the office. Instantly he was struck by two things: A palpable pressure in the air, as if gravity had increased several times over, and a sense of déjà vu. It was remarkably similar to what he'd felt when he was pulled into Kyuubi's chamber, albeit far less intense. He also took notice of the sound suppression seals lining the walls, ceiling and floor being activated.

"You are late." Sarutobi said, his tone deceptively neutral.

"Apologies, Hokage-sama." Naruto said, going as far as to kneel in front of the Hokage's desk with his head bowed. "I ignored the gravity of the situation and chose to wait for you to send for me. A foolish decision, and one that I will not make again."

"See that you don't. Chronic tardiness is just about the last thing I'd want you to pick up from your sensei." Sarutobi picked up the unrolled scroll sitting on the desk before him. "Speaking of Kakashi-kun, I just received a very..._interesting_ report regarding him. Something about you having dropped him off with Mirano-kun and his staff 'three-quarters dead' and, to quote one of the side notes in here...'damn near cut in two'." the Hokage rolled the scroll back up and set it off the side before leaning forward in his chair and resting his elbows on the desk. "Care to fill me in before word gets out and the Council tries to start another witch-hunt?"

"Of course, Hokage-sama." Naruto said before beginning his explanation.

Fifteen minutes later, all was quiet within the office, with Naruto having finished his "report" and the Hokage pouring over Kakashi's contract for the third time. As his eyes once again scanned over Kakashi's signature on the bottom line, Sarutobi sighed, then re-rolled the scroll and handed it back to Naruto's clone. Said clone carefully accepted the item and gingerly put it back in its case before sinking into its shadow.

"I take it you realize the true significance of what's in your possession now?" he asked as he leaned back in his chair and started massaging his temples.

"I do. Hatake-san has literally signed his life away to me, and even with what I've already done, the contract still holds until he dies or I decide to dissolve it." Naruto answered.

"Or if _you_ die, so I advise you not to abuse this 'power' you now have. His life may be yours, but he is not your slave and there is nothing in the contract that says he can't kill you to render it null and void."

"I never planned to abuse anything, it's simply something to keep in my back pocket, so to speak. If something happens and I do end up crippling or killing him, I won't have to worry about any legal ramifications."

"I see." Sarutobi replied as he stroked his goatee, his eyes still boring into Naruto's with a quiet intensity that tested the boy's will. "And how likely do you think such an event is?"

"I can't say, Hokage-sama. Where we go from here is entirely up to Hatake-san. If he was sincere about his 'atonement', then the contract will just sit and collect dust. But if he chooses to start something, I will have no qualms about finishing it, and him."

Sarutobi didn't reply immediately, instead choosing to silently observe Naruto and take stock of what he'd said and, most importantly, how he'd said it. There was no inflection or emphasis on anything, no point to be made or threat to be delivered; just a simple fact. It was almost scary how someone could talk about killing one of the village's strongest and most skilled shinobi with such nonchalance, regardless of whether or not they could accomplish such a feat. Usually, there would be at least some boisterousness and bravado behind it, perhaps even anger or trepidation. There was none of that with Naruto.

It reminded the Hokage all too much of the past generations. Children who had been born into a world that had descended into chaos, and were forced to grow up far too quickly. The only benefit was that those who survived often went on to become some of the best ninjas in the world, sometimes reaching legendary status before they even hit thirty. It was obvious that Naruto would be one of those people, another in the long list of ninjas that exemplified why Konohagakure no Sato was the strongest of the villages.

Which, after what he'd just learned, Sarutobi felt was all the more reason to get Naruto and Kakashi away from one another. Losing either, or perhaps both, would not only be a personal blow to the aged Hokage, but one to Konoha's military might, actual and perceived. The reputations of ninjas like Kakashi were almost as valuable as the ninjas themselves, and when word of their deaths got out, one way or another, it never failed to embolden enemies and rivals. Sakumo Hatake's suicide had been a nightmare, almost equal to losing the Hokage himself, even with the disgrace attached to his name at the time of his death. The fact that it had happened right in the middle of the greatest war in modern history multiplied the effect tenfold. And though Naruto was a mystery even to Konoha itself, he was their Jinchuuriki, and thus one of their primary trump cards.

Sarutobi suppressed a chuckle at the irony of it all. Villages would treat their demon vessels like shit within their walls, then brag about how powerful they were to the outside world.

"Naruto-kun...How would you feel about transferring out of Team Seven?" Sarutobi asked, deciding it was best to be direct.

"Hatake-san likely wouldn't go for it, if his claims of wanting Team Seven to 'work' are true."

"Given what I know now, it would be a simple matter to have you pulled from the team."

"...A tempting offer, I'll admit, but I'd rather the root of my issues with Hatake-san not get out. Before, I just didn't care enough to press the issue, even if I thought anyone would believe me with no proof. But after doing some...research, and in light of recent events...I don't think Hatake-san would be able to handle the shame. His father certainly couldn't, and what Hatake-san has already done could be considered at least an attempt at suicide. Regardless of my personal feelings about it, I'd rather not be responsible for such a blow to Konoha's military power." Naruto said.

Sarutobi's eyes widened a fraction. Now that was a surprise. "Why do I feel like there's more to it than that?"

"...I doubt it's a secret to you that my loyalty does not lie with Konoha. I would gladly watch this place burn to the ground and record it from dozens of different angles, so I could splice it all together to make a nice little movie I could watch whenever I needed a pick-me-up." Naruto said blithely. "My loyalty lies with you and a select few individuals within Konoha. And since they are within Konoha, what affects the village also affects them, some more directly than others. That said, doing what's best for them means doing what's best for Konoha. This is why I hold no grudge against you or your...people for interrupting my fight with the Uzumaki cunt. I understand that she is a valuable ally for the village and you couldn't allow me to murder her. You made a decision as the leader of the village, and they simply followed your orders; I can't fault anyone for what happened...Besides myself for a complete lack of self-control." Naruto explained, hoping that Kyuubi was listening in.

"And let's not forget that, had your final attack landed, you'd be dead as well." Sarutobi pointed out, then let out a bitter chuckle. "I must say, it's refreshing to hear someone be so up front and honest with me, though I'm deeply disturbed by your hatred for the village...Especially the fact that it's justified." he sighed and finally turned his eyes away from Naruto to stare out the panoramic window. "About that transfer, no one needs to know the real reasons behind it. That can stay between you, Kakashi and me."

"...Mitara and Mitarashi-san as well." Naruto added. "Hatake-san personally confessed to Mitara shortly after the incident, and to Mitarashi-san back in Kumogakure, as I've been told."

"Oh, to have been a fly on the wall for that conversation." the Hokage mumbled.

Naruto nodded in agreement. "That aside, what would I do if I was pulled from the team? No established teams have any vacancies, and putting me on as a fourth member would only compromise any dynamics they've got set up. Solo missions, at least in an official capacity, are out because of my rank. If the alternative is the reserve list, I think I'll stick with Team Seven, sir."

"I could give you a promotion myself."

"Then the Council would immediately cry 'favoritism'."

"And?" Sarutobi snorted. "Just off the top of my head I can list two dozen shinobi and kunoichi who rose through the ranks due to connections instead of skill. Friends, blackmail, bribery, sex; the realm of politics is a very seedy place. One you might want to familiarize yourself with." he finished with a small, cryptic smile.

"Right...As tempting as it is, I have to decline, sir. I've recently been informed that the Chūnin Selection Exams are back on and just around the corner. I can't pass that up." were he not wearing his mask, the Hokage would've been treated to a look that wouldn't have been out-of-place on Orochimaru.

"Looking to show off?"

"Looking to test my skills against a variety of opponents that would take decades to come across otherwise. If I'm going to have an audience, so be it. Besides, the Exams are meant as a substitute for war, right? A 'friendly' competition to see whose forces are superior with minimal bloodshed and loss of life. It's all about the spectacle and posturing, so I guess 'showing off' is what's expected of me anyway."

"Indeed. The Exams are back on, but we are still awaiting replies from the other participating villages to set up a date. If they agree to what we've proposed, you will be with Team Seven for another month. Do you think you and Kakashi can coexist until then? Assuming he will be fit to resume his duties during that time, of course."

"I would be surprised if he isn't released from the hospital within a week. Grievous as his injury is, it was a very clean cut; no tearing, bruising or fracturing. Once he's stabilized, I'm confident he'll be able to make a full recovery within days under Mirano-san's care." Naruto replied. "But, in the meantime...Would it be possible for me to take over his duties as team leader?"

Sarutobi's eyes immediately narrowed in suspicion, but he decided to at least hear the boy out. Before denying the request and finding a suitable replacement.

(Meanwhile...)

Within Naruto's mindscape, Kyuubi looked on approvingly. It seemed as though he really had learned his lesson, but she wasn't about to praise him just for exercising some common sense. This just meant he was no longer deserving of the silent treatment.

**"So, you finally decided to show up, hm?"** Kyuubi said as she felt a familiar presence enter her chamber. **"And here I was, thinking you'd gotten yourself lost, or worse."**

_"...He's not around, is he?"_ Nightmare asked as he revealed himself, looking over his shoulder as if he thought he'd been followed.

Kyuubi rose an eyebrow at her fellow demon's uncharacteristic nervousness.

**"No, he's busy at the moment. Why?"**

_"You two still not on speaking terms?"_

**"Why does that matter?"**

_"Look, I just need to know if he's likely to show up in here any time soon, alright? What I need to talk to you about is for your ears only."_

**"How about you get to the point and I'll decide whether Naruto should know or not." **Kyuubi's tone left no room for negotiation. Nightmare had been hiding from her as well as Naruto, and she wanted answers.

_"...Okay, fine, have it your way."_ Nightmare grumbled and looked over his shoulder one last time. _"But first, I have to ask: Have you ever noticed anything...strange about the seal that binds you to Naruto?"_

**"It's nothing BUT strange. In addition to being reinforced by the Shinigami himself, the seal is complex on a level that shouldn't be possible for a human, no matter how gifted. And it's apparently at least partially sentient, as it's able to react and adapt to situations on its own, near instantly modifying itself to counter any and everything I threw at it in the past. It even adapted to Naruto becoming a hanyou AND me escaping the cage, albeit slower than normal. So you'll have to be more specific if you want a real answer." **Kyuubi replied, more than a little irritated by the fact that, as smart as she was, she still couldn't wrap her head around the seal and its mechanics.

_"Did you ever sense anything or feel like you were being watched? Like there was someone, or something, in here with you, but you couldn't see it?"_

**"A handful of times over the years, but I admit it wasn't something I devoted any thought to. Just what are you getting at?"**

_"Just before Naruto came out of that room, I had a little chat with the Wannabe. He's a lot more mellow than he used to be, and said something very _interesting_ before he left..."_

**"...Which was?"**

_"He called Naruto his son."_

For what seemed like hours, Kyuubi stood stock still, looking in Nightmare's direction, but not at him. Her first, almost instinctive response was to immediately label it impossible. But she knew that was only because she didn't want to think about the possible, perhaps inevitable backlash when Naruto found out. He would go berserk, likely tearing apart his mindscape in pursuit of the Obsidian Knight.

That couldn't be allowed to happen. The mindscape wasn't just a construct of the subconscious; it was a manifestation of it. So damaging the mindscape had the potential for dire consequences, including drastic changes in personality and behavior, as well as incomplete or outright missing memories. Normally there were fail-safes in place to prevent such things, but Naruto was more than capable of overriding them without even thinking about it, and indeed did so on a fairly regular basis.

Kyuubi had drilled the hazards of the mindscape into Naruto's head long ago, telling him to create a designated "demolition space"; a self-repairing conscious construct within the mindscape, entirely isolated from the rest of it, where he could fight and wreck shit to his heart's content. But all that would surely go out the window if the Yondaime Hokage was indeed wandering around in his mind and he found out about it. Both Kyuubi and Nightmare had already seen how Naruto reacted when faced with an illusionary Yondaime, and shuddered at the thought of him coming face-to-face with the genuine article.

**"That...That doesn't mean anything. He was probably just trying to fuck with your head."**

_"That was my first thought, but my gut disagreed and I did a little digging to see exactly where the Wannabe had come from. I was created from bits and pieces of every soul that had ever picked up the Soul Edge, and more than a few who'd been dispatched by it. Yeah, I know, I'm the ultimate mutt, whatever. But that 'Noctis' guy is different. As far as I can tell, he's just a single soul, not a part of the Soul Edge and somehow beyond its grasp, but still vulnerable to its influence. A soul that had to come from in here, somewhere."_ Nightmare explained.

**"And you think it was from the seal?"** Kyuubi didn't like this, being entirely out of her element and having to rely on someone else for answers. Especially when that someone was literally half her age.

Nightmare nodded. _"Assuming the Wannabe wasn't bullshitting, Naruto's old man would've had to infuse a part of his soul into the seal itself. For what exactly, I don't know, but it would've been done deliberately, and you don't do something like that unless you're planning for something. Maybe it was a failsafe, like if you ever broke out of the cage, the soul fragment would manifest and try to put you back in."_ he ignored Kyuubi's derisive snort. _"Whatever the case, if the guy was as strong as he's been billed, then he would've had a very high-level soul, for a human anyway. Even as a fragment, that's something the Soul Edge would jump on. And since it couldn't eat the soul, seeing as how the seal would bind him to Naruto just as much as it binds you, it did the next best thing."_

**"Great. Just fan-fucking-tastic." **Kyuubi growled. **"So we just might have Naruto's father wandering around, unrestricted and unsupervised...I swear, it's times like these that make me wish I had been sealed into someone a lot more boring and mundane. This constant onslaught of extraordinary happenings is starting to get on my nerves!"**

Nightmare just shrugged, he quite liked the almost clockwork action of his host's life.

_"So, I take it we're in agreement that Naruto should be kept out of the loop?"_

**"The question is: How do we guarantee that he stays out of the loop with that pain in the ass roaming around?...You up for a little hunting?"**

_"Sure, but how do we keep him from running back to the outskirts? He knows we can't do anything to him there."_

**"I hope he does run. We may not be able to do anything to him out there, but when he's out there he can't do anything in here. More importantly, Naruto doesn't venture out there, so they'll never run into each other."**

_"Gotcha. And if we actually catch him?"_

**"I suppose we'll have to boot him back into the outskirts. I assume killing him in here is next to impossible, and who knows what the consequences would be if we managed it. And confining him in the mindscape has proven to be a bad idea." **Kyuubi threw Nightmare a withering look.

_"What? I didn't know! How could I have known?! I STILL don't fucking know what happened!"_ Nightmare's crimson eyes narrowed. _"And weren't YOU the one who told me to lock him up in the first place?!"_

**"What's done is done, no point in playing the blame game now."**

_"Mm-hm..."_

**"Let's just concentrate on the task at hand. Naruto thinks Noctis is gone, and I'd like to keep it that way."**

_"Don't know why he'd think that; he 'killed' me and I didn't go away."_ Nightmare said.

**"Unfortunately." **Kyuubi replied as she walked passed her fellow demon and out of her chamber, smirking when he flipped her the bird before following along.

(Konoha General Hospital, 9:55am)

"I don't know why you're still pouting, we won! We beat Naruto...Okay, one of his clones under a huge handicap, but that's still something to be proud of in my book!" Sakura nodded resolutely from her hospital bed. "Especially since we probably weren't supposed to."

Sitting in a rather uncomfortable folding chair next to the girl's bed was Sasuke, arms crossed and a scowl on his face that only got deeper in response to her words.

"_You_ won. _I_ got laid out before I could even get a decent hit in." Sasuke grumbled. "And I'm not 'pouting'."

"And I never would've gotten into the position that allowed me to win without your help. So yes, WE won. I just hope Naruto approves."

Eyes narrowing, Sasuke scoffed. "What, do you have a crush on him now?" though his tone was mocking, he inwardly hoped that was indeed the case, if only so she'd leave him alone. Yeah, she'd toned down the "fangirlism" tremendously, but there was no telling when she'd suffer a relapse. Plus, as far as Sasuke knew, she still had a pair of his shorts hidden away in her home, which she probably cuddled like a plush-toy as she slept at night...

Sakura rose an eyebrow when Sasuke scooted his chair a couple feet away from her bed. "No, of course not!" she denied, then adopted a look that was equal parts embarrassed and contemplative. "Though that new jacket he was wearing shows off those broad shoulders...And did you see his arms? Ooh, I bet you could grate cheese on his abs..." she suddenly cringed as the shriek of metal on tile bombarded her ears.

Looking over, she couldn't help but laugh when she saw Sasuke, still in his chair, on the other side of the room with his back pressed against the wall and looking at her as if she'd grown a second head. That proceeded to detach itself from her, grow legs and come after him.

"Oh...Kami-sama! The look...on your face!" Sakura guffawed, which quickly turned into a coughing fit as her ribs reminded her that they weren't in the mood for comedy.

In a blink Sasuke was by her side, helping her drink from the glass of water on the stand beside her bed.

"That's what you get for trying to scare me like that." Sasuke taunted with a light smirk. "I believe that's called 'instant karma'."

Sakura just stuck her tongue out at him as she finished drinking, causing the Uchiha to roll his eyes.

"You know," a familiar voice said as the door to the room opened, "if I didn't know better, I would think I'd stepped into an alternate universe right about now."

Unfazed by Naruto's sudden appearance, considering he'd used a door this time as opposed to appearing out of thin air, Sakura and Sasuke both greeted their teammate with nods, which he surprisingly returned.

"Well, you've been gone for a month; plenty of time for things to change." Sakura said with a shrug, wincing when her left shoulder blade protested the motion.

"Don't I know it." Naruto muttered as he closed the door behind him. "I honestly didn't expect either of you to be awake...The day's just started and it's already been full of surprises."

"And something tells me you don't like surprises." Sasuke said, tensing ever so slightly.

"Not when I'm on the receiving end of them, no." Naruto replied evenly. "But these surprises have actually been quite pleasant, all things considered. That said, I figured I'd return the favor and give you a surprise."

Despite their best efforts to keep their poker faces up, both Sakura and Sasuke paled considerably. Naruto actually sounded...upbeat.

'Oh, God, we're gonna die...' Sasuke thought.

'Of all the lousy times to be stuck in a bed...' Sakura's eyes darted around the room in search of anything that could aid her in defending herself.

"What? Aren't you the least bit curious as to what the surprise is?" Naruto asked, taking a step casual forward.

"Ah, no, I'm good." Sasuke replied far more shakily than he would've liked.

"Yeah, I'm not good with surprises, either. Last time my parents tried to throw me a surprise birthday party, I ended up kicking my dad in the balls..." Sakura giggled nervously, pulling the blanket up to cover her glowing cheeks when she noticed the two males giving her odd looks. "What? I did..."

"Did you get in trouble for kicking your mother's purse?" Naruto's eyes widened behind his mask; that had been completely unintentional. It was like his subconscious had recognized the opportunity and jumped on it, temporarily hijacking his body to deliver the one-liner, then immediately retreating.

For a full minute, silence reigned as Sasuke and Sakura sat/stood there, mouths agape and brains struggling to process what they'd just heard, and from whom. Then, once the shock of hearing Naruto crack a joke had worn off to the point where they could actually register exactly what he'd said, Sakura's reaction was even more surprising. Instead of being angry and offended, she laughed. She laughed until her ribs screamed at her to stop, and even then she continued to snicker.

For his part, Sasuke was doing a dead-on impression of a deer caught in headlights. His body was frozen, but his eyes rapidly shifted back and forth between Sakura and Naruto. Then, after a few seconds, he brought up his hands in a Ram seal and uttered a frantic "Kai!" nothing happened. "...Kai?" again, no joy. "I...I need to get out of here...before my head explodes."

"I'm afraid that won't help, since we'll all be stuck with each other for at least another month." Naruto said, inwardly seconding the Uchiha's desire to leave. God, did he hate hospitals.

"Hm? What do you mean 'at least'?" you could almost see the question mark floating above Sakura's head as her brow furrowed in confusion.

"I spoke to the Hokage, the Chūnin Selection Exams really are back on and, depending on the acceptance of the other participating countries, a month away." Naruto informed his teammates. "I don't know about you, but I plan on passing and getting promoted. As Hatake-san said, the first two portions of the Exams are all about the team, so if one of you fails, we all fail."

Both Genin picked up the thinly-veiled jab, but said nothing about it. He was right, afterall; if the team failed, there was a ninety-nine percent chance that one or both of them would be to blame. The only way they could conceive of Naruto being at fault was if he "accidentally" killed one or both of them...though they aren't too confident that there was _only_ a one percent chance of that happening.

"Well, Kakashi-sensei did say we'd be focusing on teamwork exercises." Sakura pointed out.

"Where is he, anyway? I can't imagine him sending you to fill us in, or you going along with it if he did." Sasuke remarked, eyes narrowing slightly in suspicion.

"That's part of the surprise. You see, Hatake-san is 'renting' a room in this _lovely_ building just like you."

The Genins' eyes widened and they shared a brief look before turning their attention back to Naruto.

"W-What?...What happened?" Sakura asked, her voice saturated with worry.

"...What did you do?" Sasuke decided there was no point in beating around the bush. Naruto was responsible, they all knew it, so why not just address the elephant in the room directly?

Naruto chuckled, an ominous noise that sent chills up his teammates' spines. "He had a..._mishap_ with my sword. Just a little scratch, nothing to get worked up over."

Sakura and Sasuke paled once again, they'd witness firsthand what Naruto could do with that blade of his.

"C-Can we s-see him?" Sakura stammered.

"They won't allow visitors until his condition as stabilized and he's 'out of the woods', as they say." Naruto shrugged.

"Stabili...So, that 'little scratch' put him in intensive care?" Sakura frowned deeply, saying a mental prayer for her sensei.

"What? I did bring him in for treatment immediately afterward. I even cashed in a favor with the best doctor in Konoha. He'll pull through, and when he does he can resume his duties. But here's the real surprise..." in a flash, Naruto was standing at the foot of Sakura's bed, leaning over it and resting his hands on the frame. "I've gotten special permission from the Sandaime himself to take over while Hatake-san recovers."

"...Oh, God..." Sakura whimpered.

"'Sensei' will do just fine." the Genin got the distinct impression that there was a downright malicious grin hidden behind Naruto's mask.

'WE'RE GONNA DIE!' Sasuke screamed in his mind, unable to get his mouth to work properly.

(Three Days Later - Konoha General Hospital, 12:15pm)

Mirano Itora stood next to Kakashi's bed with an expression on his face that spoke of frustration and confusion. The man should've been awake by now. As severe as the wound had been, it was a very clean cut and patching him up had been a relatively simple matter. By all rights, Kakashi should've come to just a few hours after the procedure, but as of now it had been seventy-three hours without so much as a twitch.

It didn't add up. His vitals checked out and there were no signs of brain damage, yet he was still out cold. The only thing Mirano and his staff could compare it to was a coma, but it was unlike any coma they'd ever seen. In fact, it was more akin to REM sleep, according to scans, but missing some key factors, such as muscle paralysis, as an unlucky nurse found out, and the rapid eye movement itself. According to everything they could find, Kakashi should've been awake and coherent, in which case he could've been released as soon as he could sign the papers.

'Damn. I guess I'll have to talk to Naruto, see if there's anything special about that sword of is.' Mirano thought as he checked the machines monitoring Kakashi's vital signs.

Seconds later, there was a knock on the door, prompting the doctor to turn and see his pink-haired student peeking through the small observation window. Waving her in, Mirano breathed a sigh of relief when he saw that she'd brought the whole team. Tracking Naruto down was always a pain in the ass.

"Hello, sensei." Sakura greeted cheerfully, her smile faltering when her eyes landed on Kakashi's unnaturally still form. "Still no change?"

"None." Mirano replied, then turned to the one responsible for the Jōnin's condition. "Naruto-kun, a word, please?"

Naruto nodded and followed the man over to the corner of the room farthest from Kakashi's bed.

"What's wrong?" the masked boy asked, being sure to keep his voice down.

"Nothing that we can find, and that's the problem. He's completely healed and ready for active duty, but we can't wake him up and we don't know why. He's not in a coma; it's more like he's sleeping and something is preventing him from waking up. Something that's not internal." Mirano said, taking off his monocle in order to rub his face tiredly. "Genjutsu was our first thought, but if it is, it's something so advanced that not even our best Genjutsu experts or the Hokage himself could detect or dispel."

"Have you brought in a Yamanaka?" Naruto asked, knowing it was common practice to have the "mind-walkers" try and bring someone out of a coma.

"Yes, but his mental defenses are too strong and they refused to risk damaging his mind by trying to break through them. However, before they were kicked out, some of them did manage to get a glimpse of what's going on in Kakashi's head. According to them, it looks fine, no signs of tampering or damage. We've run out of places to look in regards to the physical and mental, and a number of my staff have moved on to the spiritual. They think there's something wrong with Kakashi's soul...A couple have even gone so far as to suggest it's not even there anymore. I'm hardly an expert in that field, but I do know that the soul leaving the body is either immediately preceded by death, or closely followed by it. He's still alive and showing no signs of deterioration, so I'm assuming his soul is still intact, but maybe not _completely_ intact." Mirano paused for a second, as if second-guessing what he was about to say. "That's why I wanted to talk to you, Naruto-kun. I know there are weapons and artifacts in this world that can do some very...interesting things. Such as, say, attacking a victim's soul as well as their flesh. You wouldn't happen to know if that sword of yours is one of those weapons, would you?"

Naruto opened his mouth to answer, then realized that he didn't know. Of course the Black Soul ate souls, but only AFTER they'd been "liberated" from their bodies or through prolonged contact with the blade. But if it could take "bites" out of souls every time he cut someone, no one had told him about it.

_"No, it can't."_ a voice Naruto hadn't heard in a while answered.

'Nightmare? Where the hell have you been?!' Naruto demanded. Despite the demon's assistance and obnoxious-yet-good-natured personality, Naruto didn't fully trust him. So when he completely dropped off the radar and actively hid himself away, it set off warning bells in Naruto's head. The only reason he hadn't started a manhunt was because Kyuubi didn't seem to be perturbed by her fellow demon's absence.

_"I'll explain myself later, for now just answer the guy. The Soul Edge can absorb bits and pieces of a soul with every cut, but the Black Soul needs several seconds of contact to even begin feeding. More for someone with a fairly high-level soul."_

'Very well, I'll hold you to that.' Naruto replied before speaking to his "official" doctor. "My sword can 'eat' souls, but it can't cut them or anything." he then thought of something that made him freeze. 'Nightmare...It's possible for a body to live without a soul, right?'

_"Depends on the circumstances. Ripping out a soul is a very violent process that almost always breaks the body and immediately kills the victim. But if someone dies long enough for the soul to be naturally released, and then their body is revived, it will continue living even if the soul doesn't find its way back. But it'll be just like what you're seeing now, a 'pseudo-coma' that they'll never wake up from until a soul occupies the body, whether it's the one that belongs there or not."_

'...Is it possible that Hatake-san died before I got him to the hospital and my sword ate his soul as it was released?'

_"No, we both would've noticed if the sword ate a soul that strong. When the Soul Edge is happy, it lets you know. But I wouldn't relax just yet, bucko. Though his soul wasn't eaten, it still vacated the body."_ Nightmare informed.

'...Come again?'

_"The guy in that bed right now is just a shell, a husk...But the fact that he's STILL a husk after three full days means that something's not right."_

'You're losing me.'

_"This is a hospital, kid. A place where a lot of people have died, and where more die pretty much every day. There are wayward souls _everywhere_...Too many, in fact. The Death God's Collectors should be all over this place."_ Konoha in general had far too many disembodied souls floating around, as far as Nightmare was concerned.

'Maybe it's because Konoha is a "blind spot" for the Shinigami?' Naruto ventured.

_"All the more reason for him to have Collectors stationed here all the time."_

'Well, Kyuubi did say that Shizaru's killed all of the Celestials in the village, so who's to say he hasn't been killing these "Collectors" as well?'

_"You're probably right. But none of this explains why someone hasn't at least taken the scarecrow's body for a joyride...Next time you're here, bring that girlfriend of yours with you. She's a Spirit Beast, so she'll be able to see what's going on."_(1)

'Shouldn't I be able to see it?'

_"As you are now, no. Even with the Soul Edge, the ability to see these things isn't something that just 'happens'. It requires a level of control and finesse that you don't have, and it would take at least a month of training before you could even see orbs. If you want, that can be the next stage of your training, since we should be focusing on control anyway, but if you want to know what's up in a more timely manner, get bird-brain in here."_(2)

"Finished?" Mirano inquired when he saw Naruto suddenly look around to check his surroundings. He knew what it meant when the boy spaced out like that.

Naruto nodded and took one last look at Kakashi. "I think I know someone who can help, or at least tell us what's happening. Give me twenty minutes, and make sure those two are gone before then. The less they know, the better."

(12:45pm)

True to his word, Naruto returned twenty minutes later, stepping out of a shadowed corner of the room with Kurohane in-tow. He was pleased to see that Mirano was the only person in the room as he arrived.

"Oh-ho!" Mirano chuckled, a light blush on his cheeks as he "stealthily" checked the leather-clad bombshell out. "Even with that mask on, it seems you're quite the lady-killer, Naruto-kun!"

"Careful, I think your eye is turning green." Naruto replied smoothly, getting only another chuckle out of the man. "Kurohane, this is Itora Mirano, my personal physician, I suppose. Mirano, this is Kurohane, my...bodyguard, as she calls herself."

Kurohane leveled a playful glare on her "charge" before turning to the human medic with a smile and an outstretched hand. "Pleased to meet you!"

Mirano returned the gesture in kind, grasping her hand in a firm shake. Far more firm than he expected, in fact. "Likewise..." he mouth became a thin line as he suddenly reached up and flipped his eyepatch to uncover his Byakugan. His body tensed and both eyes widened, but he immediately calmed himself and replaced the eyepatch. "You...aren't human, are you?" he asked after clearing his throat.

"She's a Summon, from the Raven Clan to be precise." Naruto said.

"Ravens?!" Mirano sputtered. "Last I heard, that contract had been lost for decades! Where on Earth did you find it?"

"Apparently, the last person who had my sword also had that contract. When he died, the sword ate his soul, and somehow that resulted in the sword becoming just as good as the contract itself. At least, that's how it's been explained to me. I'm beyond questioning it at this point. She's here and I've already summoned a couple other ravens, and I never signed anything, so it's obviously true on at least some level." Naruto shrugged.

"I...If it were anyone else, I'd smack them for telling such an awful lie. But with you, it's like you're a magnet for the strange and extraordinary." Mirano shook his head.

"And trouble, can't forget that." Kurohane giggled.

"Hilarious. Can we please get to the task at hand?" Naruto said, herding Kurohane over to the side of Kakashi's bed.

"Yeah, yeah, let's see what we've got here..." Kurohane's eyes went through an unnerving change, completely draining of color to the point that one could mistake her for a Hyūga. Or a zombie. "Uh-oh..."

"'Uh-oh'? What 'Uh-oh'?" Mirano asked. "I don't like 'Uh-oh's'."

"Well, the bad news: His soul has definitely gone AWOL. The good news: There's still a Tether attached." Kurohane said, leaning in to inspect something that only she could see over Kakashi's chest.

"And that is...?" Naruto pressed.

"A 'Tether' is basically a rope that links a soul to its body when it's prematurely released; as in the soul leaves the body before it's actually dead. It keeps the soul from wandering off or being taken by one of Shinigami-sama's Collectors. As the body's condition worsens, the rope 'frays', ultimately snapping when the body finally dies. Fortunately, since this guy is in good health, the Tether is still strong." Kurohane groaned and rubbed her temples as she felt another headache coming on. "But..."

"Do we really have time for dramatic pauses?" Naruto drawled.

"You've got the bad news and the good news, so here's the worse news: I've got no idea where his soul is."

"Hm? But shouldn't you be able to just follow this 'Tether' you talked about?" Mirano asked, absorbing this new knowledge like a sponge.

"Normally, yes, but that's the problem..." Kurohane walked over to a seemingly random spot on the floor, some ten feet from Kakashi's bed, and stopped. "The Tether ends right here. It's not broken or even frayed, it's just...gone after this point." seeing the confused look on Mirano's face and guessing Naruto felt much the same, Kurohane sighed and walked over to them. "Here, you can look for yourselves. Hold still." she grabbed their shoulders and closed her eyes to concentrate.

For a few seconds, nothing happened. Then, Mirano and Naruto's vision began to change. Color drained from the world around them, the already dull greens and greys of the hospital room becoming even more lifeless. In this environment, the Tether was almost blinding by comparison. Glowing a brilliant blue, it resembled a large braided cable made of chakra strings, originating from Kakashi's body, directly over his heart. From there, the Tether stretched out over Kakashi's left side, to the floor, where it went on for another ten feet then...vanished. They could vaguely make out a strange distortion at the end, much like a heat shimmer or gas leak, but otherwise it was like the rope went under some invisible door and into a place beyond their sight. Quite possibly beyond their dimension.

"...I'm going to go out on a limb, here, and assume that this is all kinds of bad." Mirano finally spoke once the shock wore off.

"Probably, but I've got no way to be sure. I never went through Collector training, so I'm no expert on this." Kurohane admitted.

"Hmm...Couldn't you use the Tether to bring him here?" Naruto proposed. "If his soul is already attached to the other end, would it be possible to pull him out?"

"Maybe, but again I'm no expert, and I don't think this is a situation where we want to count on beginner's luck."

"Do you know anyone who IS an expert? Someone from your clan?" Mirano ventured.

"Yeah, I've got a cousin in mind, but he's very, uh...'quirky', let's say."

"Uh-huh...Is that 'cosplay' quirky, or 'necklace made of toenail clippings' quirky?" Naruto asked, feeling he already knew the answer.

"..."

"Right, toenail necklace. Wonderful."

(The Next Day - Naruto's Apartment, 3:05pm)

Naruto stepped out of his "workshop", chuckling lowly to himself as the door closed and sealed behind him. His other projects were going even smoother than expected, thanks to years of planning and a little bit of luck, with events just lining up in his favor time and again.

But his good mood was instantly killed when he entered the living room and caught sight of a nondescript civilian man sitting on his sofa, chatting away with Kurohane.

"Oh, Naruto-kun!" the black-haired beauty chirped when she caught sight of her boyfriend. "This is-"

"Ren. What's up?" the man greeted in a slight accent that Naruto likened to merchants who came from the Southern regions of Fire Country.

"'Ren'? But-" once again, the man cut Kurohane off.

"Look, I'm happy that you're happy and all that good stuff, but I don't know him and I don't trust him. Just like I didn't trust the last guy who had the contract. Or the one before him. Or the one before him. And I suggest you not get too attached to this one yourself. That sword will turn on him one day, and he'll end up a psychotic, bloodthirsty slave just like all the others." the man said, throwing Naruto a look of blatant disapproval from over his shoulder.

"...Nice to meet you, too, asshole." Naruto said, throwing in a salute using only his middle finger. On one hand, he was of much the same mindset when it came to people he didn't know; just a few seconds ago he'd been ready to kill the unknown party. But on the other, he didn't appreciate being labeled as just another statistic by some prick who didn't know a damn thing about him.

"Oh? A whole month with it and he's still got a personality? Congrats, you're officially doing better than the last fool who picked it up." "Ren" snorted.(3)

"Stop it, both of you." Kurohane scolded.

"Keep your 'cousin', or whoever the hell this is, on a tighter leash. This is MY home, and if you think I'll let this dickhead come into MY home and insult me, you don't know me very well."

Kurohane began to sweat as killing intent poured out of Naruto. Her cousin tended to get mouthy when he was agitated, but unlike most of her clan, his bite didn't match up to his bark at all. He was THE family nerd, all brains and no brawn. She had no doubt Naruto would eat him alive if they got into it, quite literally if the Soul Edge came out to play.

Apparently, "Ren" realized this as well and threw up his hands in the universal sign of surrender.

"Okay, chief, okay. I know I'm being rude as fuck, but I can't help it. Shit just comes out when I'm nervous, so cut me some slack, alright?" Ren sighed and started drumming his fingers on his thighs.

"And why would you be nervous?" Naruto prodded, relaxing ever so slightly. Though he talked a big game, he had no desire to pick a fight with a Raven. Kurohane's weakness was her inexperience and lack of training, but if this "Ren" had even half as much power as her, with some combat experience to go with it, he certainly wouldn't be a pushover. And that wasn't even counting any strange Spirit Beast abilities he may have had.

"A better question is: Why _wouldn't_ I be? Folks like me don't last long around these parts anymore. Been that way for nearly forty years now, ever since the people normally stationed here were picked off one-by-one." Ren turned to Kurohane, who looked confused. "Don't tell me you didn't find it weird that this whole village is crawling with souls. In human terms, this place is haunted as fuck, yet there's not a Collector in sight."

"Well, now that you mention it..." Kurohane rubbed the back of her head sheepishly.

"I swear...Anyway, long story short, someone's been killing just about every Spirit Beast that even gets close to this village. Big, badass Archdemon, goes by the name-"

"Namikaze Shizaru." Naruto finished with a slight growl.

"Yeah...I take it you know him, or at least OF him."

Naruto held out his hand for a shake. "Naruto...Namikaze Naruto."

"...Should've guessed from the outfit." Ren muttered before turning to Kurohane. "Just who the hell did you jump into bed with?"

"Can we get on track, please? We just need you to fill in the last pieces of the puzzle, then you can be on your merry way." though he'd already suspected Shizaru's handiwork, the confirmation and timeframe still put him on-edge. The Celestials, Naruto could understand, since they would've been after his head. But the Spirit Beasts? It didn't add up, yet Naruto got the distinct impression that the answer was staring him in the face.

"Yeah, yeah, the one-eyed bandit. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but my professional opinion is that he's shit out of luck." Ren shrugged.

"Because...?

"_Because_, his soul is stuck in Limbo."

"..."

"...Haven't you told this guy ANYTHING?!" Ren looked to Kurohane, only to see her hanging her head. "Oh, come on! Alright, fine, history lesson time. No interruptions, got it? Good. Limbo, as you both SHOULD know, is a place between life and death. Specifically, a place between this world and the Spirit Realm, where souls are _supposed_ go to be sorted out for Hell or Paradise, and every now and then become Spirit Beasts themselves. But what you apparently don't know is that Limbo didn't always exist, and the..._Thing_ that created it is Shinigami-sama's single greatest fuck-up. No one knows its name or what it's capable of, or even how it was created. Some even think it came about by accident, something that took shape on its own using Shinigami-sama's energy. All that's known about it is that it was once a powerful Collector that went rogue somewhere down the line. Opinions and legends vary depending on who you talk to, but the general consensus is that it just happened to be around when something BIG went down a couple thousand years ago. I'm talking millions upon millions of fresh souls, ripe for the taking. But, instead of calling in back-up to collect them all, it decided to eat them. In doing so, it went from a Collector, to something more along the lines of a Demi-God. And before Shinigami-sama could get rid of it, it used that power to tear a hole in reality itself and found a place beyond the Death God's reach. That place became Limbo, and it situated itself as the God of that realm.

Ever since, it's been a plague on mankind and has spawned countless 'boogeyman' myths and folktales. It used to target children, but Collectors who've run into it over the past few centuries say that its tastes have changed. It still goes for children, but it waits for them to grow up before taking them whenever the opportunity presents itself. Apparently, it likes 'fighters'; people with great willpower and resolve. Likes to play with its dinner, I guess." Ren let out a shuddering breath. "I don't like talking about that fucking thing. It's evil; fucking malevolence personified. But what's worse is no one knows what it is, what it can do or what it's after. The fear of the unknown applies to immortals, too, y'know. In fact, it's worse because we're so used to having access to information or being able to devote hundreds, even thousands of years to figuring it out. But this thing? It can't be figured out. I'm the clan's resident genius and I can't wrap my head around it. Lord Garandou himself has drawn a blank on it, and Shinigami-sama refuses to even acknowledge its existence. I only hope it doesn't come back to bite him in the ass, because WE are the ones who're gonna feel it. As a God, he's above the consequences of his own actions, or inaction in this case. But those of us on the lower rungs of the ladder will be just as fucked as your friend in the hospital."

"Fucking perfect." Naruto groaned. Who, oh, why didn't he just wait? Take the contract and leave Kakashi pissing in the wind? No, he just had to get over-eager and swept away in the atmosphere and perfection of the moment. He knew he'd been in no condition for something requiring that level of precision.

"Why are you so upset?" Kurohane asked. "I thought you hated him?"

"That's not the issue. If he dies and it gets out that I was responsible, which it will, it's going to ignite a shitstorm the likes of which hasn't been seen since Kumogakure tried to kidnap Hinata. This is why I've never gone after any of my more high-profile past tormentors; it's far more trouble than it's worth. Contract or not, no one's going to let this go. And then there's the impact the news will have outside of Fire Country to consider. Konoha has a lot of enemies that would be very pleased to hear it's lost one of its best ninjas." Naruto was more thinking out loud now, his mind going a mile a second trying to come up with a damage control plan.

"Please." Ren scoffed. "What you should be worried about is who's going to hop into his body once that Tether snaps. A lot of the souls in that hospital have got some serious issues, and they're all probably chomping at the bit to take that body and wreak a little havoc with it. If you ask me, your first order of business should be to take that sword of yours and do a little 'Spring Cleaning'...Actually, I don't think that would help much. When the Tether goes, the release of spiritual energy will be like a beacon to every disembodied soul for miles around. No, I'd say your best bet is to be there when it happens and use the sword to implant a soul into him yourself. At the very least, you'll get a nice slave out of it." he finished with a shrug.

Naruto frowned, that idea didn't sit well with his newfound respect for Kakashi. Though he still didn't like the man by any means, he did feel the Jōnin deserved better than _that_.

"...Would it be possible to use the Tether to pull him out?" Naruto asked, remember the question he'd asked Kurohane earlier.

Ren blinked, then his brow furrowed as he gave it some real thought. "Theoretically. The fact that the Tether is still intact means that the dimensional barrier between Limbo and this world is compromised. Normally, these separate realms need something specific in order to enter them, like the Shadow Realm requires a Darkness affinity. Accessing Limbo apparently requires _Its_ energy to pass through the barrier, but if something else is already passing through it, the barrier will be unstable...Which would make piggybacking possible...Yes, I think it could work!" Ren actually looked excited by the prospect, but his mood quickly dampened. "Providing, of course, that _Thing_ doesn't get a hold of him before we can pull him out."

"'We'?" Naruto repeated with a raised eyebrow, though no one could see it.

"Yeah, WE. No one, and I mean No. One. Has seen Limbo. Everything we've got on it is pure theory and speculation, based on legends and hearsay. We have no idea what it looks like, what its properties are or what rules are at work within it. Is there light or sound? Gravity? No one has a clue, because no one who's been taken there has ever come back, human or otherwise. But that could all change if we can fish this guy out. Whatever he's seen and experienced could bust the whole thing wide open, and that's an opportunity I'm not about to pass up. Who knows, what we get out of him could hold the key to getting rid of that monster; locking it away, or perhaps even destroying it!" Ren grinned. If he could make this work, it would cement his place in his clan's proverbial hall of fame, and never again would he be mocked as the "family nerd". Not to mention the possibility of a reward from the God of Death himself.

"Okay...So, what's the plan?" Naruto asked. "Something tells me it won't be as simple as just pulling an invisible rope."

"You never know, often the simplest solution is the best." Ren replied, then laid down on the sofa and held his right hand up in the air. Smokey wisps of black energy gathered in the air above his hand, condensing and forming into a black fedora hat, which Ren put over his eyes. "You guys might want to find something to occupy yourselves, I need some time to think."

(Three Days Later - Konoha General Hospital, 2:00pm)

"Are you sure this is going to work?" Mirano asked, eyeing the civilian man who was supposedly "possessed" by Kurohane's "cousin", Ren.

"No, but I've calculated that this method has the highest chance of succeeding." Ren said as he continued to stare intently at the spot on the floor where the Tether disappeared.

"And just what constitutes the 'highest chance'?"

"Thirty-seven percent, and that's the optimistic figure."

"..."

"You asked." Ren shrugged.

"He's got you there, Mirano-kun." Sarutobi chuckled. He "just happened" to have been visiting Kakashi when the others walked in, and decided to stay for the show.

The doctor turned to his old friend, who was sitting on what had to be the most comfy chair in the entire building.

"I was hoping for a minimum of fifty percent." Mirano sighed.

"I'm surprised it's as high as it is. I thought he was going to say twenty percent, or something."

Kurohane looked back and forth between the two men, her confusion obvious.

"...Why are you two so...okay with this?" she asked. "You're about to see something that's never even been attempted before, by humans or any other beings, yet you're acting like you've seen it a hundred times already! Not to mention the seriousness of the situation; one of your friends could very well lose his soul forever!"

Mirano and Hiruzen looked at the girl, then to each other and shared a knowing laugh.

"My dear, we've both been around for quite some time, especially by shinobi standards." Mirano said. "And in that time...we've seen some shit, as the kids say."

"Indeed." Sarutobi nodded. "And if we haven't seen it, then we've heard of it. And if we haven't heard of it, we likely know someone who has. This, I suppose you could call an impromptu addition to our Bucket Lists."

Kurohane frowned a bit at that. She was likely the second oldest person in the room, behind her cousin, yet she was easily the least experienced and worldly. To date, her greatest accomplishment, besides saving Hinata, was getting through school, and she only did that by the skin of her teeth.

"And though it may appear as though we're taking this lightly, that couldn't be further from the truth. It's simply something we developed after years of being in positions of leadership. When your subordinates see you keeping your cool in a crisis, it helps to take the edge off, so to speak. May not be so effective in the present company, but it's just natural for us." Mirano explained. This very method of boosting morale had kept many a rookie Medic from panicking when the shit hit the fan.

"Alright, let's do this." Ren said, waving Naruto and Kurohane over to the side of the bed.

"What, no preparations?" Naruto asked, earning a deadpan look from Ren.

"This isn't an exorcism or any of that shit you see in movies. We don't need magical barriers, ancient books, holy water, incantations or a priest. You're just going to pull on the Tether, like reeling in a fish...But I would advise you to brace yourself. If something starts pulling from the other side...Well, I don't know what would happen, but it wouldn't be good." Ren frowned, hating to admit that he didn't know something. But that's why he was still here, for the chance to get some answers.

"And if something that's not Hatake-san comes through?" Naruto inquired, already getting a bad feeling about the situation. This was the first time anything like this had ever been attempted, meaning that he and Kurohane were effectively guinea pigs, and that did NOT sit well with him.

But still, he felt a sense of responsibility, so he would at least try. Plus, if it worked, Kakashi would owe him big time, and one could never have too many favors stockpiled. Though he was still relatively young, ninjas as experienced, well-known and well-travelled as Kakashi always had connections both in and out of the village. And for someone with no "network" to speak of, having those connections become their connections could prove invaluable.

However, that wouldn't mean squat if the thing Ren was so afraid of showed up and slaughtered everyone in the room.

"Then we should all hope that you're really, REALLY good with that sword." Ren actually hadn't thought of that possibility before, and it was enough to almost make him want to cut and run while he still could. Almost. 'No discovery without risk.' "Let's get this show on the road." his eyes turned a milky white and he grabbed the Tether loosely in his hands. He wouldn't be pulling, as he lacked the strength to really help. No, he would be monitoring things through the Tether, feeling for fluctuations and abnormalities to get some idea of what was happening on the other end.

"Ready, Naruto-kun?" Kurohane asked as her eyes also turned white.

"As I can be." Naruto replied with a nod.

Kurohane then took hold of his left hand, giving it a brief, affectionate squeeze as she let her energy flow into him. Once again, Naruto's world turned near monochrome and the Tether's brilliant sapphire glow became visible. With his right hand, Naruto grabbed the ethereal rope and was immediately struck by the sensation. It was warm and far more solid than its appearance suggested, yet it had no texture or weight to it. It was like holding air.

But before his mind could wander, Ren spoke up.

"Well? Start pulling. Slowly, to start."

Naruto and Kurohane did as instructed, pulling the Tether hand-over-hand at a slow, steady pace. While neither knew what to expect coming in, they'd both thought it would require more effort, but there was nothing but slack. It was actually somewhat disconcerting; it was _too_ easy.

This continued for another three minutes with nothing happening, though Naruto found it interesting that the Tether was being reeled back into Kakashi's body as they pulled. In that time, Naruto and Kurohane had fallen into a rhythm and were quickly growing bored. They felt they might as well have been painting a fence. With very tiny brushes.

But after the three minute mark, the monotony was broken by Ren with another command, "Alright, let's pick it up a little."

'Finally.' Naruto and Kurohane thought, taking full advantage of the vague instruction and significantly upping their pace, drawing an unamused look from Ren, though he didn't say anything.

The previous three minutes had been boring for the two doing all the work, so it wasn't hard to imagine how Mirano and Hiruzen felt. Not only were they sitting on the sidelines; they couldn't even see anything! To them, it looked for all the world like the Invisible Rope prank that kids often played on travelers and merchants coming through the village on horses.

Though they didn't voice their displeasure, Ren apparently picked up on it, as he suddenly held up his free hand and summoned two pairs of what looked like normal sunglasses.

"Here." he said as he tossed the glasses over to the two humans without looking, knowing they'd catch them.

"...I suppose these will allow us to see what you're seeing now?" Mirano ventured, feeling that the eyewear wasn't normal as soon as he touched it. He still didn't quite know what it was, but he could tell that the items were infused with the same energy he'd felt from Kurohane four days ago.

"In theory. I haven't had the chance to test them yet." Ren shrugged, his gaze still focused on the Tether. "I'll be taking those back when we're done here, by the way, so don't get attached to them if they do work."

"Why would you need something like that...Ren?" Kurohane asked, pausing when she nearly said his real name. Seeing things on the spiritual plane was a natural ability all Spirit Beasts were born with, so what, or who, had he made those glasses for?

"Proof of concept for something else." Ren answered, his tone indicating that he wouldn't be saying anything more on the matter.

After sharing a look, Hiruzen and Mirano slipped the shades on recoiled slightly in their seats.

"Ooh..." the Hokage breathed in awe.

"I know, right?" Mirano said, still just as fascinated as he'd been the first time around. Bucket List, indeed.

As it turned out, they put the glasses on just in time, as the real show began just seconds later.

Just as Naruto and Kurohane settled into their rhythm again, their progress was suddenly halted when the Tether snagged. They gave a couple experimental tugs, but it wouldn't move an inch. The hairs on the back of their necks stood on-end and their heartbeats quickened.

"...Fuck." Ren all but whispered as he felt a sudden jolt through the Tether. A jolt that meant nothing but bad news.

But before he could warn them, the Tether was suddenly and violently jerked from the other side, ripping both Naruto and Kurohane off their feet and sending them crashing to the floor. The Tether slipped from their hands, as did the progress they'd made as the ghostly cable was rapidly pulled back into the world beyond their sight.

"The fuck was that?!" Naruto exclaimed, his voice raising a few octaves more than he would've liked. But who could blame him? Whatever that was had damn-near ripped his soul out!

_"It would've done just that if I hadn't caught it in time."_ Nightmare said, sounding somewhat out of breath as he spoke. Even though it was only for a split second, it had taken quite a bit of effort to keep Naruto's soul in his body.

'How did that even happen?!'

_"Beats me. My knowledge on Tethers is mostly in regards to breaking them. Ask the egghead."_

"Oww..." Kurohane groaned as she rubbed her aching nose. Were she a human, it would've been broken for sure.

"You wanna explain why I nearly got my soul torn out?" Naruto growled, glaring daggers at Ren from behind his mask.

"I told you to brace yourse-!" Ren cut himself off when the Tether suddenly went still again. "Quick, grab it!" he said as he took hold of it himself.

If not for the newfound urgency of the situation, Ren would've gotten a nice "fuck you" in response to his order. But Naruto still remembered what, or more precisely who, was at stake and took up the Tether once again, his action quickly mirrored by Kurohane.

"Is there anything we can do?" Hiruzen and Mirano were on their feet immediately.

"Sure, we could use some extra muscle!" Ren said through clenched teeth. "Now's not the time for subtlety; _It_ knows what's up, so just pull as fast and hard as you can!"

Not needing to be told twice, the two men took up positions behind Naruto and grabbed onto the Tether, near-instantly matching his and Kurohane's frenetic pace.

Had anyone walked in at that moment, they would've come across an exceedingly strange site. A civilian, a leather-clad beauty-queen, Konoha's resident Jinchuuriki, the Hokage and the head doctor of the Medic Corps, their hands nothing but blurs as they pulled on an invisible rope. Certainly an image too outlandish to be real...But, then again, a couple weeks ago people would've said the same about a huge, fire-breathing reptile rampaging through the hospital.

"Keep it up, we're getting closer!" Ren shouted almost giddily. This was actually happening; they were about to pull a soul right out of Limbo! Oh, the things he would learn from this most lucky of souls!

Then the Tether snagged again.

"Shit, not again." Naruto hissed as he felt the Tether begin to slip through his fingers. At least, he thought he did, but it was very hard to tell since the thing had not texture and created no friction.

"Nonononono!" Ren pulled with all his might, which wasn't much in comparison to the others, but it still helped to slow the Tether's movement. However, not even their combined strength, which would probably be enough to move a small mountain, could stop it completely.

Under less serious circumstances, they would've marveled at the strength of the Tether itself. Even Ren, were he thinking about it.

The floor tiles beneath their feet cracked under the pressure, and Kurohane and Ren were beginning to slide forward, being unable to stick themselves to the surface.

"This...This doesn't feel right..." Kurohane managed to get out. "I think it's gonna go!"

Ren's expression became even more desperate when he realized his cousin was right. He could feel it, the Tether was under too much strain; if something didn't give soon, it would. Then, just when he saw the individual strands making up the rope snapping as it frayed, the line suddenly went slack, causing all of them to fly backwards into one another, and in Mirano's case into the wall beside Kakashi's bed.

Though momentarily disoriented, no one let go of the Tether, and Ren was the first one to realize it.

"Pull! PULL!" he screamed, kicking everyone into action even though they weren't even on their feet.

The next ten seconds were some of the most intense in each of their lives. With the exception Mirano, never had any of them worked so hard just to save one person. And finally, with one last almighty tug, it was done. Eyes were shielded as a bright blue flash of light erupted from the point where the Tether disappeared into nothingness. When they looked, only Ren and Kurohane kept their jaws from going slack. There, floating just above the floor, was a glowing orb of light attached to the other end of the Tether, surrounded by smoke-like wisps of energy that formed a vaguely human silhouette.

It stayed there for a few seconds before being almost violently pulled into Kakashi's body by the Tether itself.

With a collective sigh, the tension drained out of the room's conscious occupants and the slowly, almost lethargically, got to their feet.

"Well...That was a bit of a rush, wasn't it?" the Hokage chuckled, dusting off his robes.

"A bit." Mirano scoffed, doing the same to his pants and lab coat.

"...Holy shit..." Ren breathed, staring with wide, unbelieving eyes at the human on the bed. "We...We actually did it. We pulled someone back from Limbo...Fucking LIMBO!" he threw his head back and laughed hysterically. Seeing the looks he was getting, he calmed himself a bit, but the grin never left his face. "The true significance of this is lost on you lot, but trust me when I say we just fucking made history! This has never happened! Ever! It hasn't even been attempted before!" impossibly, his grin widened. "So not only did we do it; we did it on the first fucking try!"

"...Yay." Naruto deadpanned, still none-too-pleased about the whole soul-almost-ripped-out thing.

"Like I said, this is lost on you. For you, you've just saved a comrade's life. That's all well and good, but for me? This will be my fucking legacy! The info I get out of him will finally open some doors, and I'll be right there at the forefront of it all. Future generations will grow up reading about me in their textbooks, and my accomplishments will be spoken of for millennia! My name will be carved into the annals of history, and I'll finally get some fucking respect! Do you get it now? No offense, but I couldn't give two fucks about this guy," Ren gestured flippantly to Kakashi, "but what's floating around in his head right now is going to define my life. You," he pointed at Sarutobi, "you're what, seventy or something like that? Old for a human, fucking ancient for a ninja. I'll bet you've done some incredible shit in your life. Stuff humans will still be talking about thousands of years from now. Stuff that made you the leader of this village and got your face carved into a fucking mountain. Me? I'm fucking eight-hundred and fourteen, and I've got shit to show for it. An assload of inventions, like those glasses, half of which I don't get proper credit for, and the other half no one gives a shit about. That's all I've got to my name, and no one lets me forget it. But that all changed today."

"...Eight-hundred and fourteen?" Hiruzen muttered to himself in astonishment. He couldn't even imagine living that long, especially not when his bones already creaked and ached constantly at the comparatively toddler-like age of sixty-nine.

Naruto turned his gaze to Kurohane, wondering just how old she was. For all he knew, she could've been over two-hundred years old...But did it really matter? It wasn't like age meant anything to him from a relationship standpoint. His first mate was over ten-thousand years old, and Haku and Yugito had three and six years on him, respectively. The only girl in his life younger than him was Hinata, and only by two months.

"Oh, uh, something very important: your guy, here, has been touched." Ren said, then decided to answer the question before it was asked. "'Touched' is the general term used for souls that came into contact with a Spirit Beast and returned to a body. That contact leaves an imprint on them that typically manifests as a heightened sensitivity to all things spiritual. You've heard of people coming back from near-death experiences, or being revived after dying, and claiming they can see ghosts and shit, right? Well, sometimes they really can, it's just a matter of how strong the Spirit Beast was and how long they were in contact. This guy is a special case even amongst them, however. He was in prolonged contact with the strongest of the strong, as far as Spirit Beasts go, so he'll most certainly be seeing all kinds of shit. Who knows, might even have some physical effects as well."

"So, he'll be able to see what we're seeing right now with these glasses? For example, those wings of yours?" the Hokage asked.

The supernatural shades had allowed him and Mirano to see more than just the Tether. From the moment they put them on, they could see a thin shroud of dark purple "mist" around the bodies of Ren and Kurohane, though hers was significantly denser. This vapor-like energy was especially thick around their backs, where it formed into two distinct shapes that both men recognized as folded bird wings. They both made mental notes to ask Naruto if he could get Kurohane to show them off one day, as they must have looked absolutely majestic when in use.

"Like I said, all kinds of shit. I'll fill him in when I talk to him later, but I don't think he'll really need it. With what he's probably seen already, I doubt a few wandering souls or winged humanoids will even faze him." Ren then snapped his fingers, causing the sunglasses to dissolve into clouds of black dust-like particles that quickly vanished into thin air. "Thanks for testing those, by the way. If you could see our wings, then they worked better than I thought they would."

"Thank you for giving us a glimpse into your world, and showing these two old men that they haven't quite seen _everything_ just yet." Sarutobi smiled. "But, unfortunately, I'll have to take my leave now. Clones are great for flipping through a thousand different papers in under an hour, but there are some things that still require my personal attention." with a smile and a respectful nod, the Hokage left the room.

"I'm afraid I should be going as well, I've got rounds to make, if only as a formality. If Kakashi should awaken before I return, do try not to cause him any undue stress, will you? Oh, and mind your proximity; he may very well hit you upon waking if you're too close." with a nod of his own, the doctor also left the room, whistling a tune to himself as he disappeared down the hall.

"...Seriously, they act like we just baked cookies or something..." Kurohane said, genuinely astounded by how blasé the two humans were after having witnessed something they themselves admitted was extraordinary.

"This world isn't as ho-hum as you seem to think it is, Kuro-chan." Naruto said after a yawn. "I'm one-sixth the Hokage's age and look what I've already been through. Yeah, that was pretty cool, what happened today, but honestly it's not even in the Top Fifty when it comes to weird shit that's happened to me or around me." he shrugged.

"..." Kurohane found that she had nothing to say to that and merely hung her head in defeat. Man, she needed to get out more.

(5:35pm)

It was over three hours before Kakashi finally opened his eyes. Immediately, he noticed he was no longer in that horrible place; it was far too bright here and that incessant beeping could only be from a heart monitor. He really had gotten out, he could tell that he was actually in his own body again. He was back. He was home.

It didn't take long for the tears to start flowing. The things he had seen...The things he had experienced...But he had not only endured and survived; he had escaped. But not on his own, and once his tears of joy were spent, he wept for those who had sacrificed themselves for him. Two men who called themselves cowards had turned out to be the bravest people he'd ever met. The bravest he ever would meet, he was sure. How he wished he could have taken them with him as he was hoisted into the sky and towards freedom. But even if that had been possible, they had chosen to stay behind to cover him. To die again so that he could live. And live he would.

But first...Just who was this strange civvy staring at him in such a disturbing way?

"Finally! Fuck, I was about to go find an air horn or something." the man spoke, clearly exasperated about something.

"Who are you?" Kakashi demanded, a harsh edge to his tone.

"Call me 'Ren', '-sama' suffix optional." the man smirked, then proceeded to give Kakashi an abbreviated version of what had happened while he was "away".

"Seven days...It's been seven days?" Kakashi whispered, recoiling when Ren got right in his face, an odd gleam in his eyes.

"Yeah, why? Does time pass slower in Limbo? Faster? Does it even exist there? Is 'Limbo' the proper name for it?" his questions came rapid-fire as he pulled a notepad from...somewhere.

"Back off." Kakashi growled, the white notebook paper bringing back some very fresh and unpleasant memories.

"Hey, I understand that you may need some time to deal with this, get your thoughts together and all that. But YOU need to understand that I'M the reason you're here right now, so you owe me BIG. You've got information that I need, and I honestly don't give a flying fuck if it strikes a nerve with you." Ren stated, rolling his eyes when he saw the Jōnin's fist clench. "Go ahead, hit me, fucking kill me if it'll make you happy. I'll just possess some other dickhead and be right back here to bother the shit out of you within the hour." Ren leaned in, deliberately putting himself within arm's reach. "I'm not letting you off without that info. I'll stick to you like stink on horse shit for the rest of your life if I have to, 'cause I got all the time in the world."

Kakashi was tempted to call the man's bluff, but how could he? After what he'd seen, how could he discount the possibility of a mouthy, supernatural bird possessing a human to disguise itself?

"...What do you want from me?" Kakashi sighed, not at all wanted to deal with this right now. Or ever, if he had his way.

"Everything. Everything that you saw, everything you felt, everything you learned in Limbo." Ren replied.

"..."

"Look, you fucking jackass, do you understand what I'm trying to do? Do you have any idea what could be done if I finally had something to work with? Are you really so dense that you don't recognize the possibilities?! There's the potential for completely sealing Limbo off from this world! Or better yet, finding a way to kill the fucking _Thing_ that runs the place." Ren smirked when Kakashi's head shot up. "Yeah, that got your attention."

"...Kill the Watcher..." the man muttered slowly, as if tasting the phrase. He liked it.

"'The Watcher', eh? As fitting a title as any, I guess, considering _Its_ habits."

"He." Kakashi corrected.

"What?"

"_He_. The Watcher identifies himself as a male, according to everything that I learned."

Ren immediately started jotting down notes. "So It..._He_ has never appeared as a female to anyone?"

"Not that I know of, no. Always a male, though it doesn't seem to make any difference in its choice of victims. He'll take anyone; male, female, old, young, it doesn't matter to him. He doesn't even have any patterns. He just finds someone he..._likes_, and that's it." Kakashi's voice wavered as he remembered just what He did to those victims, regardless of gender or age.

"Good, good." Ren said, nodding to himself as he scribbled away. "Well, not really good, but it's progress, which is always good...Anyway, how's about a deal, hm? This 'Watcher' is still alive and well, right? And just because you got away doesn't mean he's just going to leave you alone. If anything, he'll probably be even more interested in you. I can't guarantee you anything, but I _might_ have a couple things that'll make him keep his distance. At the end of the day, he's still a Spirit Beast, so things designed to work on Spirit Beasts should, in theory, have at least some measure of the same effect on him. You tell me everything, and I mean EVERYTHING, and I'll see if I can help you out. Deal?" Ren made his proposal and held out his hand so they could shake on it.

Kakashi looked at the hand, then back up to the eyes of its owner. "You'll forgive me if I'm not very trusting."

"Hey, you've got absolutely nothing to lose, and the possibility of at least SOME kind of safety to gain. Only Devils and con artists give deals this good, and there's no bullshit or fine print with me. I'm not asking for your soul, or your kidney or your left nut; I just want what's up here," Ren tapped his pen against Kakashi's forehead before the man could react to the movement, "so I can put it on here," he tapped the pen against his notebook, "and hopefully turn it into something useful. Now, do we have a deal or not?" Ren held out his hand again.

Once again, Kakashi looked at the hand, then back up at its owner. "...Deal." he said, but still didn't accept the handshake.

Of course, Ren didn't give a rat's ass about that. He was just trying to be accommodating to human customs anyway.

"Excellent! Now, start from the beginning, if you don't mind."

"I guess...the 'beginning' was thirteen years ago. There was an...incident, and apparently I died. I don't remember ever seeing him, but that's when he first showed up and tried to take me..."(4)

(Kakashi's Apartment, 9:00pm)

After Kakashi had gotten home, the very first thing he did was turn on every single light in his home, as well as his two televisions. Next, he gathered every radio he owned, including five that he'd just bought on his way home, turned them on and placed them throughout the house. This also included one of the wireless shortwave radios used for communication with his team during missions, which he put on and turned to a dead frequency. Why did he do all of this? According to some of the notes found by him and the others, the Watcher had an odd effect on electronics, though no one knew if it was deliberate on his part or something he couldn't control. It was supposedly particularly pronounced in the case of video cameras and radios, but televisions and lights were said to be "detectors" in their own right.

Even with those precautions taken, it was still over an hour before Kakashi finally felt safe enough to take a shower, and even then that was only because his shortwave radio was waterproof.

As he stepped under the cascade of hot water, he felt his muscles loosen for the first time since he woke up as the tension in his body left him. God, he'd missed this. Being a ninja, he hadn't been one to take a hot shower for granted in the first place, but now it was even more of a luxury for him. In this relaxed state, he could finally think clearly about all that had happened. He could take a step back and analyze it. And from there, he could simply file it away as just another experience. The most fucked up one of his life thus far, sure, but he wouldn't let it rule him. He would not live in fear of the boogeyman, regardless of how real He happened to be.

He had faced the boogeyman, fought Him head-on and not only lived to tell the tale, but made the bastard bleed as well. He had shown that he would not be broken, and if the Watcher wanted to pick up where they left off, Kakashi would oblige with a fistful of lightning.

Reaching for the bottle of shampoo on the rack within the shower, Kakashi deliberately ignored the radio static now blaring in his ear. Squeezing a sizeable glob of the product onto his hand, he put the bottle back on the rack and proceeded to vigorously rub the shampoo into his hair. He needed to keep his hands busy to stop them from shaking.

Though he made sure to stare straight ahead and the shower door was completely fogged up, he could still see it out of the corner of his eye. The lights didn't so much as flicker, ensuring that the silhouette was unmistakable. The monstrous height, the grotesquely elongated limbs, the black suit and blood-red necktie...and the face. That goddamn face. White as an eggshell and just as smooth and blank, save for vague outlines of eye sockets and cheekbones. Like plastic partially vacuum formed over a human skull. A deliberate mockery of the human form.

The Watcher was here, in his home, as if summoned by his thoughts. Doing as He always did, watching, waiting, daring his victim to look. So many of the notes warned against it, and Kakashi had to wonder how many of those who wrote them fell to the same trap. When you looked, He took you. When you looked, the fear overwhelmed you. When you looked, you broke.

But Kakashi wouldn't look. He wouldn't break. Not then, not now, not ever.

He continued to lather his hair, even as the creature entered the bathroom, His proximity causing the static to grow to almost unbearable levels. But it still didn't drown out the children. The laughter, the giggles. The whimpers, the screams. The sounds of His past victims, from the time he first greeted them, to their final moments. Their voices called out with contradicting messages. Some begged for help, while some implored you to flee, and yet others cooed for you to join them. It was enough to tear one's psyche apart, just as it was meant to.

But Kakashi wouldn't break. He did, however, speak.

"You're wasting your time." he said, his voice low and firm, unwavering. "You couldn't break my father, and you will not break me. So go ahead, do what you want. Peak out from behind corners. Stand over me while I sleep. Follow me wherever I go. It makes no difference. At this point, there is nothing you can do to me, and nothing you can take from me. You did your worst, and I made you bleed on your own turf. So try me; we'll see how tough you are in MY world." then, as if he hadn't just laid down the gauntlet to a being of God-like power, Kakashi proceeded to rinse his hair.(5)

For twenty seconds, the Watcher stood there, just outside the shower door, unmoving. The static still assaulted Kakashi's ear, but it was now the only sound he could hear beyond the falling water. And then, the monster vanished. No sound, no theatrics, just gone, as was His way.

The static ceased instantly, revealing that the Watcher had indeed left, at least for the time being. Kakashi had no delusions, he knew he hadn't seen the last of the creature. Not at all. But he had shown no fear, and that was half the battle already won.

Kakashi allowed himself a small smile as he began to wash his body. Oh, if only his father could have seen that. Grey, too; he could just imagine the man looking on with an expression of utter astonishment and disbelief on his face.

With those thoughts came the guilt and sadness, but Kakashi quickly squashed it. They had made their decisions, and he had made his; no more living in the past. There was nothing he could do for them, and no good would come from beating himself up about it. From here on out, it was all about the here and now, and the first order of business was a lesson plan. Tomorrow, Team Seven's _real_ training would begin.

(The Next Day - Training Ground Seven, 7:00am)

It was rare to see the normally unflappable Kakashi Hatake stricken with shock and awe, but that was indeed the case on this morning. But one could hardly blame him, considering what he was seeing at the moment. There, walking at a leisurely pace down the dirt path leading to the training ground, were his students. All three of them. Together. Naruto front and center, with Sakura to his left and Sasuke to his right, both apparently unharmed and unafraid.

"Well...I guess Mirano-san wasn't pulling my leg afterall." Kakashi muttered to himself. He had actually laughed at the notion of Naruto _willingly_ training Sakura and Sasuke, laughed harder at the idea of them going along with it, and nearly cracked a rib when he was told it had been going well.

"Good morning, Kakashi-sensei!" Sakura greeted with a wave and a bright smile.

"Mm." Naruto and Sasuke gave simultaneous and near-identical "greeting grunts".

"..." Kakashi's jaw worked, but no sound came out as he looked back and forth between the three Genin.

"What, did you expect me to drag them here half-dead or something?" Naruto asked while cracking his neck.

"Eh, more like seven-eights or so." Kakashi shrugged. "But I'm glad to see you're all in tip-top condition!"

"What about you, sensei?" Sakura asked, the medic in her coming to the fore.

"Clean bill of health straight from Mirano-san!" Kakashi flashed a thumbs-up, accompanied by his signature eye-smile.

"So, what's on the agenda?" Naruto asked, though he sounded distinctly uninterested in the answer.

"Something special, Naruto. I think even you will like it...Perhaps _especially_ you." Kakashi replied cryptically, his cheerful expression still firmly in place.

"You don't say?"

"I do. Actually, I won't. Why talk about it when I can just show you instead?" and then, Kakashi _moved_.

Naruto barely even had time to brace for the flying knee to the face, let alone block or dodge it, and was sent rolling backwards.

Sasuke and Sakura fared no better, with even his much-improved reflexes unable to spare him from a tooth-rattling right hook to the jaw, and her newfound physical strength unable to keep her upright when her teammate was tossed into her.

A second after his "demonstration", Kakashi wasn't surprised to see Naruto already on his feet, apparently no worse for wear. But he was surprised, and impressed, to see Sasuke and especially Sakura already shaking off the cobwebs and falling into their fighting stances.

Excellent. This meant he wouldn't have to hold back on them as much as he thought.

"Ah, so the kid gloves finally come off." Naruto chuckled, obviously raring to go now.

"I failed you all as a sensei, and I can't put into words how deeply I regret it. But that was then, this is now. Now, you will get the teacher you deserved from the start. Even if you've got other sensei, even if you _think_ there is nothing you can learn from me, I will give you my all. What I ask in return is for you to let me prove myself." Kakashi finished, his gaze hardened and focused, yet shining with emotion and, above all, sincerity.

Looking to Sasuke, he received a nod.

Then to Sakura for another.

And finally, to Naruto, who let out another chuckle as he cracked his neck once more.

"Show me what you've got, Hatake..." Naruto trailed off, tapping on his chin and making a show of contemplating something. "-san."

"You WILL call me 'sensei' at some point, Naruto. But how's about I accelerate the process by beating it out of you?"

The only response Kakashi received as a full-blown laugh as Naruto charged, his action mirrored by his teammates.

XXXX

And there you go!

Yeah, I put Slender Man into the story. I've wanted to for quite some time, and you can't tell me the character and the mythos behind him isn't right at home in the Black Flames world. And for those of you who don't like this turn of events, fear not, for Slender Man won't be a major part of the story. He'll pop up every now and then, and I _might_ do a mini-arc revolving around him, but that's it. I'll also be detailing Kakashi's experiences in Limbo via sporadic flashbacks, triggered when something happens that reminds him of a specific moment.

Anyway, like I said before, this chapter was very dialogue-heavy, and I hope that wasn't a turn-off. I know it can't be all action, all the time, but I don't want to put anyone to sleep, y'know?

Oh, and in regards to the Kakashi/Rin scene at the beginning of the chapter: I'm well aware that it's not at all canon. It's not supposed to be canon. What happened in-canon doesn't fit with the story. So I don't want to hear any complaints about it. Yeah, I know I shouldn't have to tell people that this isn't canon this late in the game, but there are some people who just don't seem to get it. Or don't want to get it and would rather I conform to their desires and expectations. Not ranting, just saying.

(1) Spirit Beasts are to the Shinigami, as Devils are to Arcarian; his creations/minion/warriors and denizens of his personal realm. Collectors are exactly what they sound like: Spirit Beasts who are tasked with collecting the souls of the deceased and bringing them to the Spirit Realm for judgment. They are also the Shinigami's primary soldiers, and in addition to being stronger than a "normal" Spirit Beast, those who prove themselves worthy are gifted with special weapons and/or powers that make them especially formidable.

(2) In this story, an "Orb" is a blanket term used to describe the most readily visible part of a disembodied soul; where its energy is most concentrated. For all intents and purposes, a soul's "heart". This is the typically the first thing a "sensitive" person sees, and usually appears as a floating ball of light, hence the name.

(3) Yep, Naruto has only had the Soul Edge for a month. Meaning that everything that's happened from the Wave Arc, to the present has taken place in just one month. Damn. In fact, as of the end of this chapter, just 98 days have passed since this story started. Ninety-freakin'-Eight. But that's no worse than canon; less than a year passed throughout the entire course of the first part, and I don't think Shippūden has hit the one-year mark either.

(4) Some have misinterpreted this line to mean that Kakashi was in Limbo for 13 years. That is not the case; he was simply talking about the first time he "died", which was detailed in the dream sequence/flashback at the beginning of the chapter. That took place 13 years ago, shortly after Obito died. In reality, Kakashi has no idea how long he was in Limbo, because there is no sense of time there. Some souls have been there for hundreds of years and don't know it. All Kakashi knows is that it was a lot longer than seven days, but it wasn't 13 years, regardless of if it felt like it.

(5) Like a motherfuckin' BOSS!

I think that's about it. As usual, if you've got questions, ask away. HOWEVER, if you do NOT have an account on this site, your questions will be deleted. I can't answer you if you ask as a guest, and leaving it on the review page will drive me nuts. So again, I will ask people who don't have accounts to not ask questions in your reviews.

In regards to my other active stories, Tamer of the Hazard and Vengeance: I AM still working on them. Unfortunately, Black Flames takes up most of my writing time, and another good chunk is devoted to whatever plot bunnies happen to arise. This leaves little time for those two fics, and when I do work on them, I'm either plagued by roadblocks, or I get on a role and write half a decent chapter, then decide I don't like it and go right back to square one. It sucks, but thus is the life of a writer, almost every step forward is either preceded or followed by at least a partial step backwards.

Also, Black Flames' "birthday" is coming up soon. Come next month, this story will be six years old. It's been a trip, hasn't it? Makes me realize just how long I've been around here, since I was a mere lurker for about two years before I decided to try my hand at fanfiction. Hm, wonder if this is a record of some kind; Longest-running Active Naruto Story or something. Most likely not, but that would be pretty cool if it was.

Well, what's enough rambling from me. Until next time, ladies and gents!

Jason Out!


	44. The Heart Wants

Well, well, well, fancy meeting you guys(and gals)here!

Also, GOD-FUCKING-DAMMIT!

I know, what a way to start off a chapter, but I'm mad. Why? Because NOTHING went as planned. Not a single damned thing. This was supposed to be a relatively simple, fun chapter with action and gore and whatnot, then on to the Chūnin Exams. But noooo, I just HAD to make things difficult on myself! I just kept building and adding more and more to it, and when I finally realized that I was in real danger of having a chapter that was too large to upload, I found that I didn't have fat to trim. I liked everything that I had and didn't want to get rid of it.

So, after much stress and deliberation, with help from fellow author "mecrazyfang", I decided to just say "fuck it" and go commando. Chapter's been split up, Chūnin Exams pushed back one more time. Boo, hiss, I know, I don't like it anymore than you do. But this has allowed me to put more content into this chapter, and turn it into something more than mere filler. This Kurama Clan mini-arc will be a major event in the story, with effects it has on the characters involved will impact everything they do afterward.

That said, this chapter doesn't have much in the way of action in it, though I did try to put in some humor to keep from boring you all too much. But for the most part, this is a pretty dramatic chapter. Lots of dialogue and emotional stuff. I don't mean to sound like I'm apologizing for that, I'm just warning those who like things more fast-paced and explosion-y. This might not be the kind of thing you'll want to read if you've just downed a couple of Red Bulls or something(though I doubt you'd want to read anything in that case).

Oh, and happy belated birthday to Black Flames! As of July, this story is SIX years old! And it STILL hasn't gotten to the Chūnin Exams! Seriously, I don't care how frustrated some of you might be because of that; I guarantee you I'm way more pissed off than you. I have _dreams_ about what's going to happen during the Exam Arc.

Alrighty then. For those of you who are still here: Enjoy the show!

XXXX

(Konohagakure no Sato - Training Ground Seven, 7:25am)

It didn't take long for Sakura and Sasuke to realize they were in way over their heads. This revelation came at around the same time that they realized this first "serious" training session wasn't about teamwork at all.

Against what anyone would ever have thought, themselves included, they had actually managed to work out a solid team dynamic in the seven days their sensei was hospitalized. This came through a compromise from both sides. Sakura and Sasuke followed Naruto's lead and did what he said, when he said, without complaint or argument. And in return, Naruto would "lower" himself to their level to ensure that they would be able to keep up for coordinated moves.

But that self-imposed limitation had quickly become a problem when facing Kakashi, who used it to his advantage almost immediately. He singled out Naruto right off the bat, virtually disregarding his other two students entirely, dodging and/or countering their attacks, sometimes without even looking at them. And when they were taken care of, he worked Naruto over with blisteringly quick combination attacks that the masked terror barely managed to block.

When they sensed their teammate getting fed up with it, Sasuke and Sakura bowed out without a word and stood on the sidelines as spectators. This wasn't about them. Kakashi wasn't at all interested in testing their teamwork; he was after Naruto, and Naruto alone. Kakashi had already earned his stripes with Sasuke and Sakura, and even if he hadn't, they would have respected him just because he was a Jōnin and a legend in his own right. But Naruto was on a whole different level. One that rendered Kakashi's status worthless. He wasn't a bright-eyed rookie who looked up to his seniors, and in fact looked down on more than a few of them, such as Team Eight's sensei. Naruto had the competence, skill and power to not only question Kakashi's authority, but blatantly undermine it if he so chose, which he often did.

A team couldn't function like that. If not friendship or comradery, there at least had to be mutual respect, if only on a professional level. It was difficult to work with someone you didn't respect, and it was even worse if you had to take orders from them as well. Hell, even fear was enough to hold a team together, provided the subordinates never got over that fear. But Naruto didn't like Kakashi, didn't respect him, and damn sure wasn't afraid of him.

And so, Sasuke and Sakura were treated to a hell of a show as Kakashi set about trying to beat some respect out of Naruto. Of course, that was much easier said than done. Borderline impossible, all things considered. Kakashi was actually a bit out of shape compared to his prime as an ANBU Captain, while Naruto was even stronger and more experienced than he was in their first bout some three months ago, and undoubtedly had even more tricks up he sleeves.

"My God..." Sakura breathed out in astonishment as she watched the battle from her perch up in a tree. "They're freaks, both of them."

"Of course they are." Sasuke replied from below, having chosen to stay on the ground. "You don't get to their level by being 'normal'."

Once again showing the strides he'd made under Genma's tutelage, Sasuke kept his cool in the face of his own inferiority. The jealousy was still there, of course, but where he once saw the universe rubbing his inadequacy in his face, he now saw a learning experience. A chance to study other fighting styles and perhaps spot weaknesses in them. Unfortunately, they weren't throwing around any Ninjutsu for him to copy. But that didn't much matter, as anything worth copying would likely require more chakra and control than he had anyway.

"I suppose not..." Sakura trailed off with a sigh. Looking away from the fight, since she could barely see them move at this point, she studied Sasuke for a moment. If he was having as much trouble keeping up with the fight as she was, he wasn't showing it. In fact, it looked like he was following it just fine, if his sharp, bird-like head movements were any indication. He was so focused, he wasn't even blinking. She also noticed that he wasn't using the Sharingan, which puzzled her, but she didn't voice her confusion.

Sakura didn't know that Genma had given Sasuke quite a stern lecture about his Sharingan usage. After beating him to the point that he couldn't move, thus ensuring that he had no choice but to listen. The gist of it was that stealing techniques from enemies was fine, and was actually expected of him, as with all Uchiha before him. But copying the hard-earned techniques of fellow Leaf-nin, without their permission, was a quick way to become _very_ unpopular.

Plus, there was no telling what Naruto would do if he ever found out one of his techniques was stolen, even if Sasuke wouldn't be able to actually use it.

So, he continued to observe with his unaided eyes, which were good in their own right, but he suspected he was only seeing about half of what was really going on, if even that. But it was enough to effectively analyze the fight and draw some solid conclusions, the first of which being that Naruto was physically the strongest and outright fastest of the two. However, Kakashi seemed to have better reflexes, possibly due to his strong Lightning affinity, as well as the Sharingan, which allowed him to avoid attacks that would've broken or ruptured something if they landed.

Another revelation was that both Naruto and Kakashi appeared to have mastered multiple styles of Taijutsu; at least three each, which they were able to switch between seamlessly. They were also just as proficient in armed combat, if not moreso. Naruto's prowess with a sword was already well documented, but he was certainly no slouch with the large, single-edged, clip point fighting knife he'd been using to match Kakashi's elongated kunai.

But the real shocker was that Kakashi's supposed experience advantage never seemed to come into play. Though Sasuke had seen it before, it was still mind-boggling that someone in his own age bracket was able to fight like a veteran. Kakashi had been a ninja for most of his life; hell, by the time any of the members of Team Seven had been born, Kakashi had been a Jōnin for over a year. But that huge gap amounted to nothing, as Naruto had an answer for everything Kakashi threw at him, and vice versa. So all in all, the fight had been a nearly twenty-minute stalemate, and the scales showed no signs of tipping any time soon.

'Kami, at this rate, it'll be another hour before someone even lands a punch!' Sasuke thought.

Actually, it would only be another three seconds. Sasuke didn't quite see what happened, but he knew that Kakashi had screwed up. How else could he have gone from matching Naruto blow-for-blow, to having the point of a knife half an inch away from his left eye?

"You know, if you wanted to die, again, all you had to do was ask." Naruto said, withdrawing his blade and backing off out of arm's reach.

"I...I'm sorry." Kakashi panted, suddenly feeling weaker now that he had stopped moving. He was more out of shape than he thought. "I got...distracted..." he trailed off, his eyes darting to the right for a split second.

"I noticed." Naruto grunted, his own eyes following Kakashi's line of sight, but seeing only trees.

"So...I guess it's two-to-zero now." Kakashi said with a smile that was anything but real as he covered his Sharingan eye with his forehead protector. "Pretty impressive. Don't tell Gai, though; he might start challenging you."

"I hesitate to call this a victory." Naruto grumbled.

Their "friendly spar" had gotten his blood pumping even more than his fight with the scythe-wielding "immortal". Yes, he'd been holding back, but only in regards to Ninjutsu and the fact that he wasn't fighting to kill. He'd been going more or less full-bore with his Taijutsu, and Kakashi still kept up, even when the weapons came out. And the one-eyed wonder himself was holding back as well, which made it even better. Naruto had always known that Kakashi could throw down with the best of them, despite his abilities having dulled since his ANBU days. But to experience his capabilities firsthand, particularly his stamina...Naruto was officially impressed. He couldn't wait until they could battle again, without an audience to potentially get hurt by stray attacks or see things they shouldn't see.

And he hoped that time would come sooner rather than later, because this latest "win" was a hollow one, in Naruto's book. It wasn't his own skill, power or cunning that had defeated his opponent; it was said opponent's loss of focus due to apparent outside interference. In a normal fight, that would've been A-Okay. If you let something else steal your attention when your life was on the line, that was your fault. But their fight hadn't been about life and death.

"Kakashi-_san_, before you awakened, the Hokage gave me the option of transferring out of Team Seven. He knows of our _past issues_ with one another and not only asked me if I wanted to transfer, but actually tried to convince me to do so, to keep us from imploding and getting those two caught in the crossfire." Naruto jerked his head in Sasuke and Sakura's direction. "But I declined the offer, in part because I was giving you the benefit of the doubt. Are you serious about this, or did I make a mistake?"

"I've never been more serious about anything in my life, I promise you that." Kakashi affirmed. "I guess I'm still a little...jumpy, that's all." he lowered his voice so his other students couldn't hear his next words. "Still adjusting to being out of the warzone. There aren't monsters around every corner here, but that hasn't stopped me from seeing them."

"Then perhaps you should take some time off to get your head on straight. Before someone takes it off." Naruto replied just as quietly.

"And you'll look after them while I'm gone?"

"I've found that my urges to kill them have dwindled in both frequency and intensity, so I suppose I can keep them alive for another week." Naruto shrugged.

"Are...Are you...warming up to them?" Kakashi asked, unable to fully suppress a smile.

"..."

"Right, right." Kakashi held up his hands in a placating manner. "So, when did you start using a knife?" his curiosity had been piqued the moment the weapon was drawn from...wherever. He hadn't actually seen Naruto take it out; one second, his hand was empty, the next, Kakashi was suddenly missing a few strands of hair.

"I've been looking for a secondary weapon ever since my fight with that Akatsuki member in Kumogakure. My sword wasn't exactly the best weapon for fighting in confined spaces like that, and I wanted something for close range fighting." it was a partial lie, as the inspiration for using a knife in particular had come from training Hinata to use hers. "Kunai are...adequate, but I wanted a weapon geared towards direct combat. I do miss the handle ring, though." he shrugged, it didn't much matter anyway. The knife was a Darkness Construct, so he could change whatever he pleased, whenever he pleased.

The current form was similar to a typical large hunting knife used by outdoorsman, but obviously meant for combat above all else. It had a ten-inch blade in the classic "clip point" design, with a sharpened false edge and a saw-like back, but the teeth weren't designed for sawing through wood and the like, as you'd see for something made for wilderness survival. No, they were large, somewhat blunt and back-curved, meant for inflicting ragged, hard-to-heal wounds that would bleed profusely. If nothing else, it was far more intimidating than any typical ninja weapon, and just one more way to get into an opponent's head.

"I see...Look, Naruto," Kakashi sighed, "I'll take your suggestion under advisement, but let's at least finish out the rest of the day, hm? For you, I may have been out for only a week. But it was a hell of a lot longer for me. I've got some catching up to do with all three of you if I'm going to be an effective sensei. In fact, it's like you're strangers to me, almost. Them moreso than you, but you get the picture."

A glint appeared in Kakashi's eye, and Naruto didn't like it at all. "...Reintroductions?" he ventured, dreading the inevitable answer.

"Reintroductions!" Kakashi confirmed, with his signature eye-smile.

"...I should've just stabbed you in the eye." Naruto grumbled as Kakashi called Sasuke and Sakura over.

"Hindsight is twenty-twenty, as they say." Kakashi chuckled.

"As I've been constantly reminded as of late." Naruto snorted. At least Kyuubi was talking to him again, though they hadn't had a real conversation as of yet. He missed her wit and flirtatious banter, but things were still looking up.

Unknowingly, Naruto mimicked Kakashi's thoughts, as his situation had its share of silver lining as well. Even though Naruto obviously still didn't trust or like him, the boy was at least giving him a chance. But silver lining aside, his cloud was still pretty damn dark. His eye darting over to the tree line once again. Even though he had only seen it out of the corner of his eye for a split second, he knew the Watcher had been there.

There was no daytime in Limbo, so Kakashi had never experienced it until now, but some of the notes he'd found said that the Watcher had no qualms about appearing in broad daylight, and was no less terrifying when his full form wasn't at least partially obscured by darkness. Kakashi supposed that was another way for him to get into his victims' heads. Monsters were supposed to lurk in the shadows, shunning the light and only coming out when the all-seeing eye of the sun dipped below the horizon. But the Watcher broke that "rule", and in doing so showed his targets that they were never safe. Night or day, inside or out, alone or surrounded by witnesses; it made no difference. But in this case, Kakashi suspected that the creature's brief appearance was meant to distract him, which would've resulted in his death had it been a real battle. It seemed the Watcher didn't understand the concept of sparring.

'Now, if only Ren would hurry his feathery ass up with those "charms", I'll be in business.' Kakashi thought. He may have resolved to stand his ground and not let his fear rule his life, but that didn't mean he wouldn't take all the help he could get.

"Are you alright, Kakashi-sensei?" Sakura asked, giving the man a once-over with her eyes to check for any hints of injury.

"I'm fine, Sakura. My ego's a bit bruised, but I'll get over it." Kakashi joked.

"If you say so..." Sakura replied, trying not to let her disappointment show. She felt terrible for hoping that her sensei had been hurt, but she wanted an opportunity to show off her hard-earned medical skills and prove she deserved to be on the team, if only to herself.

Kakashi gave her an odd look, but it went unnoticed and was quickly replaced with another smile.

"Well then, team, let's introduce ourselves, shall we?"

"...What?" Sasuke and Sakura questioned in unison, identical looks of confusion on their faces, while Naruto just hung his head and sighed.

"This team started off on the wrong foot, that much I think we all can agree on. But this is the clean slate moment. This is the first day of the new and improved Team Seven!" Kakashi said happily.

"But we already know each other, so what's the point?" Sasuke asked, scratching his head.

"Do we? Sasuke, what's Sakura's favorite color?"

Caught completely off guard, Sasuke recoiled as if struck. "Uh...Pink?" he ventured, looking to Sakura for what he hoped was confirmation.

Sakura actually grimaced before replying sheepishly with, "...Red, actually." she really had no fondness for the color pink at all; other kids had ruined that for her years ago, with their constant taunting and bullying.

"Sakura, what's Naruto's favorite food?"

"Now that's just unfair." Sakura protested with a huff. She'd been tempted to say "human flesh" as a joke, but there was a good chance he would just roll with it and say something that would put very unpleasant images in her head.

"Naruto, what's my favorite book in the Icha Icha series to-date?"

"Was it amongst the ones I burned a while back?" Naruto answered with a question of his own, taking no small amount of satisfaction in seeing Kakashi's entire body stiffen at the mention of that particular "incident".

"...I'm sure you all see my point now." the Copy Ninja said, taking a deep breath to calm himself. "I'll kick things off. My name is Hatake Kakashi. I like good literature," he ignored Naruto's snort, "miso soup with eggplant and watching sunsets. My dislikes include sweets, formal clothing and cowards. My main hobby is reading, and my goals for the future...My goals are to do my father proud, and live for those who lost their own lives, as well as do my duty to you as your sensei." Kakashi finished with a respectful bow, then looked to Sasuke. "Well?"

"...My name is Uchiha Sasuke. I like training, tomatoes and...writing in my journal." he blushed in embarrassment. "My dislikes include sweets," he gave Kakashi a small nod, "quitters and Shiranui Genma. I...don't have any hobbies, yet, and my goals...I'm going to make my brother pay for what he's done, and when I finally have his head on a pike, I'll set about restoring my clan."

Sakura stared at her crush much like she did the first time, but without the all-consuming infatuation. That was a hard act to follow.

"My name is Haruno Sakura. I like learning new skills, anko dumplings coated in syrup," she glared at Sasuke and Kakashi when they shuddered in disgust, "and shopping. My dislikes include spicy foods, bullies and...thunderstorms." Sakura fought down a blush with little success. Yes, it was embarrassing, but it was better than the first thing her mind came up with, which was: "Being the obvious weak link of the team". Afterall, she couldn't go around advertising her lack of confidence. "My hobbies are reading and playing trivia games. My goal is to become the best medic Konoha has ever seen." she almost flinched as the words left her mouth. Though her goal was no less admirable than Kakashi's or Sasuke's, she didn't have their resolve, and, in her mind, it showed like a sign hanging over her head, reading "Bullshit!" in neon letters. But nonetheless, she kept her head held high as she finished, if only to keep up appearances.

Then, as one, the members of the "new and improved" Team Seven turned to Naruto with expectant eyes.

In turn, Naruto met their gazes one by one, lingering on Kakashi last. "...Really should've stabbed you." he ran a hand through his hair and let out deep sigh of irritation. "Fine, I'll play along. My name is Namikaze Naruto. I like training, barbequed chicken and worthwhile fights. My dislikes include overly salty foods, undeserved arrogance and disappointing opponents. Oh, and wasting time with pointless tasks is pretty high up on the list as well." Naruto added, looking directly at Kakashi. "My primary hobby is still collecting, but I also enjoy a walk through the woods every now and then. My goal...is to become a Hunter-nin and enjoy the freedom that comes with the job."

"There, now was that so hard?" Kakashi asked, chuckling when Naruto responded with a one-finger salute. "Seeing as how I've already seen a bit of your teamwork, how's about we devote today to some team bonding? Anyone want to catch a movie?"

"...Fuck it." Naruto said, then lunged at Kakashi...only to stab his knife into the "eye" of an actual scarecrow. In that instant, Naruto's annoyance was replaced by confusion. Just where the hell had Kakashi stashed this thing in order to use it for a Kawarimi?

While Naruto pondered possible explanations, Sakura was waving her hand in front of Sasuke's face, which held an expression of abject terror as he stared off into the distance.

"Helloooo, Sasuke-kun? Anybody home?"

(Shopping District, 1:00pm)

"So, does anyone have any suggestions for what to do next?" Kakashi asked his team as he walked down the street with them, a little orange book surprisingly nowhere in sight.

"How about-" Naruto began, only to be cut-off by the Jōnin.

"You go home while we all die in a fire?" Kakashi deadpanned. Naruto had been saying similar things at every opportunity, so it was a good guess.

"...I was going to say lunch, but I like your idea better."

"I'll bet. But lunch sounds good right about now. Who's hungry?"

"I'm in." Sasuke said. "A bucket of popcorn isn't exactly a decent meal."

"Especially when half of it's burnt." Sakura shuddered at the memory of accidentally biting down on an especially charred flake.

"If you had gone with the nachos, like me, that wouldn't have been a problem." Naruto remarked.

"That reminds me, what was up with the guy at the stand? You kill his dog, or something?" Sasuke asked, referring to the "incident" that had taken place at the theater.

Kakashi, Sakura and Sasuke had all gotten their food without problem, but the moment it was Naruto's turn, the clerk's attitude did a complete one-eighty. When Naruto ordered the nachos, the clerk slammed them down on the counter, breaking most of the chips. Seeing that, Kakashi had been fully prepared to step in, for the clerk's safety. But to his and the rest of the team's immense surprise, Naruto took it in stride and asked for the spicy cheddar cheese dip. The clerk, apparently a man who completely lacked any kind of self-preservation instinct, said they were all out of cheese. All of it. When there were multiple racks full of bright red and orange cheese cups right behind him.

He must have thought being in such a public place would save him from any retaliation. He was wrong, as he quickly found out when Naruto grabbed his head, smashed it into the counter and kept it there, applying enough pressure to make the young man whimper in pain. Naruto whispered something to him, undoubtedly a threat of further and far more grievous bodily harm, then let him go. The clerk got him a new pack of nachos and two cups of spicy cheese, shaking like a leaf the whole time.

"Never seen him before in my life." Naruto replied honestly. "Some people are just assholes."

"Asshole or not, if he decides to press assault charges, there won't be much you can do, considering the security cameras caught you doing it." Kakashi pointed out.

Naruto only chuckled in response, a sound that sent chills up the spines of all who heard it.

"Anyway...Where are we going?" Sakura asked.

"Hmm...Oh! There's this fantastic ramen place right down the street!" Kakashi beamed.

Naruto nearly tripped over his own feet. He hadn't been to Ichiraku's in five years, and with good reason, in his mind. After what happened to Yuki, Naruto had desperately clung to the only people he had left in his life. Hinata, Shino and the Ichirakus. But with the optimistic idealist in him dead and cremated, he knew that he would have to let them go, for their own safety. Hinata and Shino had their clans to protect them, and he broke his ties with them so he wouldn't jeopardize that for them. But the Teuchi and Ayame were like Yuki; run-of-the-mill civilians. Unimportant in the larger scheme, and thus vulnerable.

They had been a big part of his life for years, so it was hard to leave them behind. But when he saw Ayame get her head busted open by a rock meant for him, Naruto knew that the only way to protect them was to distance himself. So, for five years, he'd actively avoided the ramen shop that used to be his favorite place in the entire village.

'God, this is going to be awkward...' Naruto thought.

Apparently, he had unintentionally said this out loud, though not loud enough for anyone to make out the exact words.

"What?" Kakashi asked with just a touch of exasperation.

"...I said, 'I don't like ramen'." Naruto replied.

Kakashi didn't buy it; whatever was said before had more syllables than that. But he didn't voice his skepticism.

"Whatever you've had before, I guarantee it doesn't measure up to Ichiraku's Ramen."

"Taste is only part of the issue. Ramen isn't exactly healthy, and I don't eat much in the way of junk food."

Kakashi fixed the boy with a deadpan stare. "Really? That's your excuse, nutrition? Are you watching your figure?"

Naruto twitched at the comment. He'd walked right into that one.

"You do kinda sound like Ino-pig." Sakura giggled, then abruptly stopped when Naruto turned his gaze to her. "Well you do!" she insisted, edging behind Kakashi slightly.

"Alright, fine. You want ramen? Let's go get some ramen." Naruto turned back to Kakashi. "I trust that it's your treat?"

"Sure." the man nodded, furrowing his brow when a sudden shiver ran through his body.

"Good." Naruto then set off down the street towards his old stomping ground, a downright malicious grin plastered on his face under the mask.

That grin disappeared once he found himself standing in front of the modest little restaurant. He was actually getting nervous!

'What am I going to say to them?' Naruto thought, his distress building by the second. 'What are they going to say to me?'

What if they had taken his vanishing act personally? What if they were mad about how he had seemingly dropped them like a bad habit, after the kindness they showed him? Not to mention all the free meals...

"You guys are in for a treat!" Kakashi said giddily as he ducked under the banner to "enter" the stand and took a seat on one of the stools. "This place has always served great food, but last year they added some new items to the menu and revamped some of the old stuff. It's...You just have to try it."(1)

"Such a glowing review from one of Konoha's top ninjas!" a dark-haired man in his mid-forties chuckled as he walked up to the counter.

"You deserve it, Teuchi." Kakashi smiled. "How are things today?"

"Can't complain. Sun's shining, birds are chirping, heart's still ticking and I've got new costumers!" Teuchi grinned, turning his attention to the three Genin as they took their seats, eyeing the one in black somewhat warily.

"My cute little students." Kakashi said, looking directly at Naruto and grinning like a fool under his facemask. "Uchiha Sasuke, Haruno Sakura and Namikaze Naruto."

Teuchi's squinted eyes shot open and settled on the black-clad boy. There was no way in hell THAT was Naruto...But who else could it have been? Different family name aside, as far as Teuchi knew, there was only one person in all of Konoha named "Naruto".

"Impossible..." the man murmured.

Naruto's first instinct was to feign ignorance, but then a young woman with brown hair stepped into view from the supply room in the back. She looked around almost frantically before her gaze landed on him and her brow furrowed in confusion.

He had no idea what possessed him to do it, but instead of keeping with his original plan, Naruto put the last nail in his own coffin.

"Hello, Ayame." he blurted out before he could stop himself.

The next thing Naruto knew, he was forced to catch Ayame mid-air as she leapt over the counter.

"NARU-CHAN!" the girl squealed with unbridled glee.

"...'Naru...chan'?" Sakura repeated numbly, clamming up when Naruto growled at her.

Being all but adhered to his chest, Ayame felt it as much as she heard it. A deep rumble that made her entire body vibrate. She was reminded of a documentary about the alligators of Water Country's swamplands she'd caught on TV a few days ago. Specifically, the mating calls of the males, which caused the water around them to "dance" across their backs. How could a person duplicate a sound like that? Then again, Naruto had apparently realized his dream of becoming a ninja, and ninjas made a living out of doing things that were incomprehensible to normal people.

And that brought Ayame to another realization; Little Naru-chan had grown. A lot. Gone was the scrawny, visibly malnourished and overall diminutive boy. In his place, someone who stood a full head taller than her and had a body one could only get from constant training. Or so bragged the multitude of pompous jerks who tried to hit on her so often.

"I...I guess I can't really call you 'Naru-chan' anymore, Mr. Ninja." Ayame said as she looked up into...nothing. She couldn't see anything under Naruto's hood. Frowning, she reached up to pull it back, only to have her hand gently caught by his.

"Sorry, but that will have to wait." Naruto said lowly, so that only she could hear him. "I know we have some catching up to do, but I'd prefer to do it when the place isn't so...crowded." he took a moment to look the girl over as he watched conflicting emotions play out across her face.

She had grown as well, though not nearly as much as he had. Standing at five feet, two inches, she didn't get much taller, but she had certainly filled out. He couldn't make out just how much due to her conservative work clothes, but she definitely had some curves now. But her face was much the same as he remembered. Sharp chin, rounded nose, high cheekbones, fair complexion and big, dark and expressive brown eyes. She had a "girl next door" quality about her that Naruto was finally experienced enough to appreciate.

And then there was the scar. Though it was almost unnoticeable and her bangs hid it from view, Naruto knew exactly what to look for and where. There, above her left eyebrow, just in front of the left temple, a small, off-colored, slightly raised mark. A blemish on her otherwise flawless skin. It angered Naruto, but there was nothing he could do; the man responsible for it was already dead. In fact, Kai Ryoga was Naruto's first "real" kill. There was no self-defense, no outburst of demonic power, no blacking out and waking up in a pool of someone else's blood. Naruto had stalked the man for days, putting the skills he'd developed while playing ninja with Hinata and Shino to good use. Then, after waiting for Kai to get hammered at a bar, he lured the man into an alleyway and ambushed him. Naruto had punched him in the throat to keep him from screaming, then stabbed him in the abdomen three times and watched him bleed out with no small amount of satisfaction. He even stole his wallet to make it look like a mugging gone wrong.

It was the first time he had made a conscious decision to take a human life. Though his skull now sat in Naruto's trophy room with two-hundred and seventeen carved into its forehead, unofficially it was also number one.

"...I'll hold you to that." Ayame said, unknowingly bringing Naruto back to the present, then gave him one final hug and virtually skipped back around the counter.

She was taking Naruto's sudden reappearance well, but her father was a bit slower to recover from the shock. This made for a truly awkward staring match between him and Naruto, which only ended when the boy finally placed an order.

"Uh...I guess I'll take a bowl of pork ramen, large." Naruto said as he retook his seat, feeling the stares of his teammates on him, but choosing to ignore them for the time being.

"What? O-Oh, sorry, I'm just...I-I'll get right on it!" Teuchi snapped to attention and went to get to work, only to turn back around upon remembering he had three other customers to attend to. "Um..."

"Miso, large." Kakashi said.

"I, uh...I'll try the beef ramen, medium." Sasuke decided after one last look at the menu.

"...Shrimp, please. Small." Sakura was still staring.

"Alrighty, then, give me fifteen minutes and I'll have everything ready!" Teuchi smiled and set about whipping up his masterpieces with a vigor rarely seen since his younger years.

"So...'Naru-chan', hm?" Kakashi snickered.

"One more word, from any of you, and I swear to God, I'll stitch your mouths to each others' asses and make a human centipede." Naruto's eyes burned blue under his hood as he glared at the silver-haired man. "And you'll be the middle."

Sasuke and Sakura instantly averted their eyes, looking anywhere but Naruto's general direction, and Kakashi wisely decided not to try his luck. It was hard enough to sleep with just the Watcher lurking around.

The next five minutes passed in silence. And then, something very strange happened.

Naruto was the first to notice the sunlight dimming, as well as the first to hear the confused chatter from people on the streets.

"Hm? What's going on out there?" Kakashi wondered aloud, his instincts telling him something was off.

Sharing a brief glance, Naruto and Kakashi stood up in unison and stepped out from under the restaurant's overhang. They looked up and were greeted with an impossible sight. Storm clouds, the most dark and malignant either had ever seen outside of Kumogakure, gathered overhead with unnatural speed. Within seconds, the sun was completely blotted out, casting the whole village into a near night-like darkness.

"The hell is this?" Naruto mumbled. "There wasn't a cloud in the sky ten minutes ago." something was wrong, that much was certain.

"Kakashi-sens..." Sakura trailed off as her and Sasuke's eyes were drawn upward. "...Well, so much for the forecast..." she wasn't really trying to make light of the situation, whatever situation it was; she was just nervous. You didn't need to be a veteran ninja for something like this to set off some major alarm bells. Even the civilians were suspicious.

Then, in a brilliant flash of pale blue light, a massive lightning bolt tore through the clouds and struck the Hokage Tower dead-on. The entire roof of the structure was immediately engulfed in flames, and combined with the incredibly loud rumble of thunder, it was like a bomb had gone off.

"Holy shit!" a civilian man screamed before dropping the bag of groceries in his arms and running for cover. This was the catalyst to a wave of hysteria that quickly swept over every civvy in the vicinity.

The only exceptions were Teuchi and Ayame, who had rushed out to see what was going on.

"Rain check." Kakashi said to the older man.

"Of course...What should we do?" Teuchi asked, still staring wide-eyed at the raging inferno atop the tower just a few blocks away.

"Just stay in the restaurant for now. If we're under attack, you'll be safer in there than with all these morons running around." Naruto answered, casually sidestepping a panicked man who was paying more attention to the blaze behind him than what was in front of him.

"And us?" Sasuke asked. There was no point in either him or Sakura going, and they knew it. They wouldn't be able to keep up with Naruto and Kakashi, and there wouldn't be much they could do when they did arrive.

"Stay here, and be on the lookout for anything suspicious." Naruto ordered. "Maybe try to help these gutless fools get off the streets."

"Right!" Sasuke and Sakura said in unison.

Were the situation less serious, Kakashi would've been impressed with Naruto's display of actual leadership. But for the time being, they had to get moving. As close as they were to the tower, they'd likely be some of the first responders.

(Naruto's Apartment, 4:05pm)

"Ugh..." Naruto entered his apartment with a groan, and for once found it empty. "Wonder where everyone is." as he said this, he couldn't help but think of how weird it sounded. He'd spent most of his life coming home to an empty apartment, and liked it that way. And now here he was, questioning why no one was around. Had he really gotten used to the presence of the others so quickly?

They had just met a month ago, as enemies no less, and now they were living together. Why did he trust them so much? How could he trust them so much? Was it because they were so much like him? Because they were just so easy to get along with? Or was it something else?

**"Naruto, a word, please."** Kyuubi's voice instantly drove all other thoughts away.

After settling in on the living room couch to make it look like he was napping, so anyone who came in would be less likely to bother him, Naruto allowed his consciousness to be pulled into the mindscape. Specifically, Kyuubi's chamber.

"Yes?" Naruto asked, trying to keep the eagerness out of his voice. Over the years, he had overheard many a man in the village whining about their girlfriends or wives giving them the cold shoulder, and he'd scoffed at them all. How could NOT talking to someone be a punishment? Sounded like a reward to him.

But now he understood. As the saying went, you don't appreciate what you've got until it's gone. Kyuubi may have started talking to him again, but she might as well have been a whole different person. She wasn't HIS Kyuubi, and it got to him more than he wanted to admit.

**"You understand why I haven't been speaking to you, correct?" **Kyuubi asked, her crimson eyes betraying nothing with their intense stare.

"I do."

**"And you understand and accept that you deserved it, correct?"**

"I do."

**"You've learned your lesson, and will never do something like that again, correct?"**

"I have, and I won't."

**"Good...Because if you do, I'll fucking kill you myself..."** Kyuubi's voice trembled as her eyes began to sting and her vision blurred with tears. In an instant, she had Naruto wrapped in a hug so tight, it would've crushed a normal man in an instant. **"I'm serious...If you ever scare me like that again...I'll make you pay for it." **she sobbed.

"K-Kyuu-chan..." Naruto stammered, completely unsure of what to do, or if he was supposed to do anything.

**"I was so disappointed in you...I was your sensei before I was your mate, and I take pride in how far you've come under my guidance...You knew better than that, I trained you better than that, and to see you fucking around when so much was at stake...Fuck, it made me so angry." **Kyuubi clutched at her mate tighter, burying her head into the crook of his neck. **"But when Shizaru showed up...I've never been so afraid in my life. You bastard, did you forget that your life isn't yours to throw away?! Nevermind what might happen with the seal if you die; did you even spare a single thought as to how your death would affect your mate?! What about Kurohane? Hinata? You have people who care about you, you selfish asshole! You can't go around fighting like you've got nothing to lose!" **she cried.

The floodgates had opened, and all of the emotions that Kyuubi had kept bottled up were now pouring out. She knew this would happen, which was why she had tried to keep Naruto at arm's length until she could sort her feelings out. The rage of a disappointed and disgusted sensei had run its course, and she was left with the fear, pain and depression of a woman who very nearly saw her lover die right before her eyes. Again.

She knew she would break down when she saw him, but she also knew that it was time to build a bridge over the rift between them. Just as much as Naruto missed their normal conversations and interactions, Kyuubi missed them as well.

"I...I'm sorry." Naruto said, having wracked his brain for something, anything to say, and coming up with nothing. He was just too much of an emotional novice to handle something like this.

Fortunately, Kyuubi knew that better than anyone and wouldn't hold it against him. She couldn't.

Finally releasing Naruto from her grip, Kyuubi took a step back and took off his mask, biting back a giggle at the look on his face. That combination of worry, apprehension and cluelessness looked so...alien on him.

**"I know you are, and I accept your apology." **Kyuubi smiled and wiped the tears from her eyes and cheeks with the sleeves of her kimono. **"Just promise me that you'll use your head from now on."**

"You have my word." Naruto nodded firmly.

**"I'd better." **Kyuubi then pulled Naruto into a deep kiss, their tongues battling for domination for nearly a full minute before they pulled away. **"Now, off with you. Hinata's out there, worrying herself silly about whether or not to wake you up." **and with that, Kyuubi ejected Naruto out of the mindscape, but not before one last peck on the lips.

The first thing Naruto saw upon coming to was Hinata standing at the side of the couch, poking her fingers together and muttering to herself about how mad he would be for her interrupting his nap.(2)

"Good afternoon, Hinata." Naruto greeted as he sat up.

"Oh!" Hinata squeaked in surprise. "N-Naruto-kun, I...Did I wake you?"

"Not at all, I don't sleep in the middle of the day. Though, after the day I've had, I think I've earned the right to..."

"That bad?"

"Team...'bonding'. Saw a movie and ate lunch with them." Naruto said. He would've told her about the "attack" on the Hokage Tower, which turned out to be a very powerful Genjutsu of "unknown" origin, but he was under direct orders from the Hokage not to say a word about it to anyone who didn't already know. At least until an "official statement" was made.

"That...sounds awful?" Hinata ventured.

"It sounds normal, if all the other teams are anything to go by. But that really isn't Team Seven's 'thing', so it was a very awkward experience all around." Naruto shrugged. "Hopefully Hatake-san has gotten it out of his system and we can get back on track. But enough about me. You're obviously here for something, so how can I help you?"

"Well...You remember that mission you went on with my team?"

"Of course. You want to learn how to use that spear you picked up, right?" Naruto asked as he stood up and stretched, taking a moment to look at the clock. 4:12pm, plenty of time to get some more training in and have Hinata back "home" before any Hyūga lackeys showed up to "retrieve" her.

Hinata nodded enthusiastically. "I realized that even with my knives, I still don't have any real reach in combat. Then I remembered that spear."

"Well, let's get to it. How familiar are you with Bōjutsu?"

"Uh..." Hinata shook her head helplessly.

"Then we'll start with the basics."

(Haruno Household, 7:00pm)

"So, how was everyone's day?" Hikari Haruno asked as she took her seat at the dining table.

At thirty-seven years old, Hikari didn't look a day over twenty-five, and she worked her ass off to keep it that way. Well, not really, as she was quite proud of her posterior. Soft and supple, yet tight and firm at the same time. An ass that could make a gay man do a double-take. In fact, she was proud of every part of her body, and with good reason. Her hourglass figure, baby-smooth skin, emerald eyes, heart-shaped face and long, luxurious hair were the envy of many a woman, kunoichi included. And they couldn't even hate her for it, because her personality was just as entrancing as her looks.

Humble, kind, generous, witty, loyal and confident, without being arrogant. As far as most were concerned, there was nothing not to like about her. She was as close to perfect as one could get, and that made her husband the envy of many a man, shinobi included.

"Not so good, to be honest. That new combat mask fell through in testing and I had to break the news to Minaka. He didn't take it too well. In fact, he got so belligerent that I had to have him escorted out, and I'm thinking about writing him up. He's convinced that I sabotaged the tests somehow, just because I told him all that digital stuff wouldn't go over well. Makes the mask too bulky and the HUD is way too cluttered and distracting." Hikari's husband shook his head.

Aida Haruno, formerly Aida Sanosuke, was a great match for Hikari. At thirty-two years old, he was a good-looking man by any standard. Fairly tall at just a hair shy of six feet, well built, for a civilian, with sharp facial features, piercing blue eyes and a full head of jaw-length brown hair. Like Hikari, he had his share of admirers amongst the opposite sex, as well as green-eyed monsters amongst his fellow men. And just like his wife, even those who were jealous of him couldn't bring themselves to dislike him. He was just too nice. But what really made him Hikari's ideal husband was his submissive nature and eager-to-please attitude. Haruno women _always_ wore the pants in the relationship, and Aida had no problem with that.(3)

But Aida was a lot more than a pretty face and a dutiful husband; he was a certified genius and an accomplished inventor with hundreds of patents to his name. Hikari was no slouch in the intelligence department, but she would readily admit that Sakura got her IQ from her father.

"Minaka...He's the one with the white hair, right?" Hikari asked. All she knew about her husband's coworkers was what he told her himself, and what little she observed during the handful of times she'd visited him at the Konoha Research and Development Labs. Which was actually against the rules of the facility, but who was going to tell Hikari Haruno "no"?

"Yeah, that's him. He's good, if a bit..._out there_. But he acts like every little thing is some kind of personal slight against him. I don't know if it's because he's got an overinflated ego, or he's just that sensitive, but either way he needs to get his priorities straight before that attitude gets him fired." Aida said before popping a bit of crab meat into his mouth and groaning in pleasure. Tonight, Hikari had made a hearty seafood-based stew, with crab, lobster, shrimp and all manner of other ingredients that the woman would never divulge.

As if Hikari needed something else to make men swoon, she was also a fantastic cook. So much so, that she was once approached about having her own cooking show, but she turned it down because her secret recipes would no longer be secret.

"And how about you, Sa...Is something wrong? You're not eating." worry overtook Hikari's tone and facial expression. Sakura loved everything her mother cooked, and after a hard day of training, she usually ate like she thought she was being timed.

"Hm? Oh, it's nothing, Mom. Just..." Sakura wracked her brain for a plausible lie. "My day was a bit...surreal. I went to the movie theater and had lunch with my team; my ENTIRE team...And it wasn't a disaster!" she put on a smile that wasn't _completely_ forced.

"Sounds like you had fun today." Aida said with a warm smile.

"For the most part, it was really awkward." Sakura admitted. "But it had its moments." a smile crept onto her face as one of those moments played through her mind.

Some bitch had seen her talking to Sasuke after the movie and saw fit to intervene and convince him to "ditch the little whore" and "go home with a real woman". Before Sakura could give the "real woman" a piece of her mind, and perhaps a broken jaw, Sasuke did it for her. He actually made the woman, easily twice their age, cry. And as she tried to run away, she'd collided with a brick wall known as Naruto, who'd heard everything and forced her to apologize. Well, less "apologize" and more "beg for forgiveness".

It was an incredible thing to witness, and had brought Sakura herself to the verge of tears. Just a month ago, neither of them would've given a damn, and Sakura would've just taken it like a timid little doormat, all while raging and shouting all manner of obscenities in her head.

"Sounds like that team of yours is finally coming together." Aida remarked.

"I think so. Now that Naruto-san is on-board, we're making real progress." Sakura replied.

Neither of them noticed Hikari suddenly tense up.

"Yes, from what you've said, it seems like he makes all the difference." Aida rubbed his chin in thought. "Hm, I wonder what changed as why he's being so...nice now."

"We changed." Sakura said. "Sasuke-kun and me, I mean. He's learned some humility, and I've been taking my training seriously. We used to be lower than dirt in his book, but now we've got nowhere to go but up. And then there's Kakashi-sensei. I'm almost certain there's some history between them, because it seemed like Naruto-san was always challenging him, for no other reason than to make things difficult, or maybe even start a fight."

"I remember you saying that a while ago. You think they worked it out?"

"Looks like it. I just hope it lasts...I enjoy being on part of the team, and I don't want to see it fall apart again."

"Can we PLEASE stop talking about...all this ninja stuff?" Hikari all but hissed, glaring at her family with far more intensity than she meant to.

"Yes, ma'am." both husband and daughter replied, seeming to shrink in on themselves under the woman's harsh gaze.

Hikari's expression softened when she saw their reactions. "I'm sorry, it's just...You know how I feel about that particular topic." it wasn't exactly a lie, since she had made it quite clear that she didn't like her daughter's career choice. She still supported her child because that was her obligation as a mother, but she tried her damnedest to convince Sakura to look at other possibilities at every opportunity.

"Then why even ask me about my day?" Sakura mumbled and finally started eating, apparently unaware that she had spoken her thoughts aloud.

Neither parent said a word about it, though. Aida because he didn't know what to say, and in his experience that meant it was best to keep quiet. And Hikari because she could feel the guilt bubbling up inside of her, and knew that anything she said would likely make it worse for both herself and her child.

Dinner was eaten in silence.

(9:30pm)

Standing on the balcony outside her room, Sakura looked out over the village. This was something she often did before going to bed, but tonight she just wasn't into it. The cool night air, twinkling stars, bright crescent moon and the lights of the village did nothing for her. She had too much on her mind. She didn't even notice someone knocking at her bedroom door, or that person cautiously entering when there was no response.

"Sakura? Are you decent? Hello?" Aida called, louder than was really necessary, but one could never be too careful with a ninja in the house. Announcing oneself before entering could very well be the difference between getting a "Hello" or a kunai between the eyes.

As he opened the door fully, Aida had a direct line of sight to the balcony and his daughter, standing at the railing in her red pajamas, with her back to him. Apparently, she still hadn't noticed him, and that was a problem. If he startled her, the outcome wouldn't be pretty. Daughter or not, she would react based on her training, and that usually meant stab first, ask questions later.

A loud, high-pitched whistle roused Sakura from her thoughts and caused her to whirl around with a kunai at the ready. When her father poked his head around the corner with an apologetic smile, the girl let out an explosive sigh, as if she'd been holding her breath.

"Kami, Dad! Do you have a deathwish or something?!" Sakura all but shrieked.

"Nope! Hence me hiding behind the wall." Aida smiled cheekily.

"Just...don't do that again, please." Sakura muttered. She had been looking for a chance to show off what she had learned under Mirano's wing outside of the controlled conditions of the hospital and various Genjutsu-based simulations, but she most certainly didn't want her first real patient to be her own father. Especially if she was the reason he needed treatment in the first place.

"Well I did knock several times, and all but yelled before I came in." Aida pointed out.

"..." Sakura had no reply to that. Had she really been THAT distracted?

"What's wrong, sweetie?" Aida asked as he joined his daughter on the balcony. "If it's what your mother said, you know she doesn't mean anything by it. You know how she feels about you being in such a dangerous profession, but you should also know that she's still proud of you."

Hikari's unease about Sakura being a kunoichi had gone through an interesting metamorphosis over the past month. At first, she'd been worried that her daughter would make a horrible ninja, since she was doing it for all the wrong reasons. She'd woken up in the middle of the night in hysterics several times after nightmares about Sakura suffering a brutal demise. Hikari had cried literally for hours after hearing about what had happened while Sakura was in Wave Country, and how close she had come to losing her baby. But once Sakura started to take her job seriously, Hikari's worries had shifted from her daughter being a bad kunoichi and getting herself killed, to her being a good one and killing others. She respected Konoha's ninjas as much as anyone else, they protected their homes and their way of life. But she also knew exactly HOW they went about it, and she didn't fancy the thought of her little cherry blossom slashing throats and snapping necks, regardless of what it was for.

"No, it's not that. I..." Sakura let out a deep, melancholy sigh and shook her head. "Nevermind. It's just like Kakashi-sensei said; a ninja trying to explain their problems to a civilian is like a bear trying to tell a shark that its knees hurt. No offense, Dad, but you just wouldn't understand."

"Oh, I think I'd understand well enough. Yes, ninjas and civilians don't often mingle with one another, but I'm one of the exceptions to the rule because of where I work and what I do."

The Konoha Research and Development Labs drew up, crafted and tested everything, from air conditioning units, to ninja armor and weapons. Aida's work happened to be geared towards the latter, so he worked closely with ninjas on a daily basis. He made things for them, so he was always looking for their input and letting them test the products. Over the last decade and a half, most of the advancements in armor and reinforced clothing were the results of Aida's work. And one couldn't very well make things for ninjas if they didn't know how to think like a ninja, at least on some level. He couldn't always rely on someone else to tell him what they wanted, or what worked and what didn't.

"Working with ninjas and actually being one are two very different things." Sakura mumbled.

"Come on, try me." Aida insisted.

"Okay, fine." Sakura relented and took a deep breath. "Before we went to the movies, got lunch and all that, Naruto and Kakashi had a sparring match. A rematch from the first bell test when we became an official team. Sasuke and I had to watch from the sidelines because we were completely outmatched. They were moving so fast...I couldn't even see them. Just brief flashes here and there, when they slowed down for a fraction of a second, for whatever reason. And they were at it for nearly twenty minutes, so evenly matched that they couldn't even hit one another, or so Sasuke told me. I felt so in over my head, my only comfort being that Sasuke was in the same boat. I said Kakashi and Naruto were freaks, thinking that he would agree. He did, and said, 'you don't get to their level by being normal'...And when I looked at him, he was following the fight. Even without the Sharingan, he could still see them, while I was completely in the dark..."

"...And you've come to realize that you and Sasuke aren't in the same boat." Aida picked up where his daughter left off, surprising her. "He's not 'normal' at all; as an Uchiha, he's more or less destined for greatness. Now you think you're the 'odd man out', being the only normal person on the team."

"I..." Sakura started, astonished by her father's insight. "I don't belong. By the time he was my age, Kakashi was already a Jōnin, making a name for himself on the frontlines of a war. Naruto is...Naruto, and Sasuke literally has success in his blood. But what do I have? Who am I? Just some little girl from a rich merchant clan with no shinobi history." by this point, the girl was almost sobbing as she poured her heart out. "I try so hard to fit in, to act like I belong, only to be constantly reminded that I don't! I thought that I was catching up, making real progress, but I'm just being left further behind." Sakura soon found herself wrapped in her father's arms and crying into his chest.

"Sakura...Have you ever wondered why I support your choice to be a kunoichi? Why it's the one thing I refuse to budge on, no matter how much your mother insists?" Aida sighed as bittersweet memories flashed through his mind. "To say that your family has no shinobi history isn't entirely accurate."

Sakura's sobs stopped as she tilted her head up to look her father in the eyes. "Wha-What? You were..."

"Yep." Aida nodded. "I came from a clan much like the Haruno. Merchants, bankers, grocers, farmers; you could go back a dozen generations in my family tree and not find a single shinobi. At one point in time, I was determined to break that tradition. I had dreams, big ones. Becoming one of the elite, loved and admired by my people, respected and feared by my enemies. I wanted to put the Sanosuke on the map and pave the way for them to be Konoha's next great ninja clan." the man chuckled with no real mirth. "Oddly enough, everyone supported me. My father got me into the Academy, my brothers cheered me on, and everyone said I had potential. My friends, the Academy Instructors, even my Jōnin sensei when I graduated; they all thought I was going places. Tch, I never even made Chūnin." he scoffed bitterly.

"What happened?" Sakura asked in wonderment, completely enthralled in the story. Did Mom even know about this?

"I wish I could say I got wounded on a mission or a training accident, or otherwise forced into early retirement...I wish I could say there was no shame in how I went out, but I can't. I quit, plain and simple. The Third Shinobi War was in full-swing and I was hearing nothing but horror stories about what happened in the field. I let it get to me. On my first war-related mission with my team, delivering a scroll to an outpost twenty-three miles Northwest of Konoha, we ran into trouble. You see, just an hour earlier, a Chūnin patrol squad was ambushed on the same route. Fortunately, their attackers were inexperienced and uncoordinated, so they were able to deal with them quickly and continue on their way. But one of the enemy ninjas survived, if just barely. He was half-dead and knew he was living on borrowed time, so when my team ran into him, he didn't bother trying to run or hide. He just came at us like a wild boar. He went for me first, since I had taken point. You know what I did? Nothing. I froze. I could've put a kunai through his forehead before he even took a step, but all those stories I had heard spooked me too much. My teammates took care of him and we completed our mission, but that was it for me. After we were debriefed, I stayed behind and turned in my forehead protector."

"D-Dad, I...I never knew..."

"Of course you didn't. It's not something I like to talk about. All those people, my Dad, my brothers, my friends, my sensei; I let them all down. I've regretted it ever since, but I never got up the courage to try again. That's why I make armor and other equipment for ninjas; it makes me feel like I'm doing my part to protect the village, by making things that protect the people who protect the village. Before I met your mother, my job was the only thing that allowed me to look at myself in the mirror." Aida took a step back from his daughter and held her by her shoulders as he looked her in the eyes. "I see in you, what others saw in me; an ocean of untapped potential. And I can tell you from experience, if you let it go to waste, it will haunt you for the rest of your life. Even though I wouldn't trade the life I have now for the world, I still think about the 'what ifs' all the time."

"But I don't want to be left behind." Sakura whispered. "I may be stronger than I was, but so are they, and that still makes me the weak link. I've been lucky so far, in that we haven't had any missions lately, so I haven't been 'exposed' yet. But the Chūnin Selection Exams are coming, and Naruto and Sasuke are shoo-ins for a vest...And if I fail, it'll stay with me forever. No matter what I do from that point on, I'll always be remembered as the one who wasn't good enough. The one who smacked her big forehead against a glass ceiling, while her teammates just plowed through it." there was no doubt in her mind that those two would become legendary, perhaps even moreso than Kakashi.

And she could just imagine the things people would say when speaking about them. "Hey, weren't they part of a team?", "Yeah, trained by none other than Hatake Kakashi.", "But wasn't there a third one?", "Now that you mention it, there was this girl with them back in the day. Had pink hair, I think.", "What happened to her? KIA?", "Nope, she just wasn't cut out for it. Failed her first Chūnin Exam and never caught back up. I believe she's a nurse at the hospital now, wasn't even good enough to be a real doctor."(4)

Yeah, that's how conversations about her and her team would play out years from now, she was sure. She would always be the one who couldn't hack it. The one who faded into the obscurity while everyone else carved their names into the annals of history.

"Stop it." Aida said, his tone more commanding than Sakura, or perhaps anyone had ever heard before. "Right now, your only limitation is you, and with that attitude, you'll be a self-fulfilling prophecy. So what if you're not as much of a natural as someone else? You're surrounded by prodigies; people you can learn from and ask for help. Even if it takes you a little longer, you CAN get there if you've got the drive. You say you don't want to be the one who was left behind, but would you really rather be the one who gave up and didn't even try?"

"But I AM trying. That's the problem! I'm trying and trying and trying, and not getting anywhere!"

"That's not what the backyard says." Aida countered, referring to the sizeable craters that dotted the huge plot of land behind their house. "A couple months ago, you hurt your hand just playing volleyball with Ino. But just yesterday I saw you break a five-hundred-pound boulder with a single punch. If you call THAT 'getting nowhere', you must have some brutal standards for progress."

"But it's still not enough." Sakura clenched her eyes shut as tears threatened to form again.

"It'll have to be. I've seen how you train, Sakura. I've carried you up to your room when you've passed out from exhaustion. I've seen your light on at ungodly hours in the morning and heard you thinking out loud when you're studying from those books. You're doing all you can right now; anything more and you're playing with fire. Accept your limitations and work towards surpassing them. Comparing yourself to Naruto and Sasuke isn't being fair to you, and it's obviously wreaking havoc on your self-esteem. Use yourself as a measuring stick, not them. If you want to be faster, don't focus on being as fast as someone else; focus on being faster than you used to be. If you can run a lap around Konoha in an hour, use that as your base and strive to get it down to fifty-nine minutes. Then fifty-eight, fifty-seven, fifty-six, and so on. Don't worry about the guy who can do it in twenty minutes flat, just worry about you."

Sakura opened her mouth to reply, but found that she couldn't. He was right. Validating her accomplishments based on what her teammates could do wasn't doing anything but making her depressed. Plus, it wasn't like they were pushing her to be as strong as them; they seemed pleased with her steady improvements, so why couldn't she be as well? With this epiphany, she felt as though a massive weight had been lifted. One that she had put on herself to begin with.

She couldn't help but smile. "Thanks, Dad." she wanted to say more, but she couldn't quite put her gratitude into words. She hoped a heartfelt hug would do.

"It's what I'm here for." Aida said before placing a kiss on his daughter's forehead. Something that he hadn't done in a while, now that he thought about it. "Good night, sweetie."

"Hey, Dad..." Sakura called before her father exited her room. "Does Mom know? About the ninja thing, I mean."

"Of course. I could never keep a secret from her, even if I wanted to." Aida answered.

"Do you ever do any training? Y'know, just to keep in shape?"

"Every now and then."

"Would...Would you like to spar sometime?"

"...Why not? As long as you promise to go easy on your old man."

"Eh, I'll think about it." Sakura grinned.

"Yeah, well, while you're thinking about it, remember that I already apologized for eating that last popsicle, AND I bought a whole box just for you."

"What? When?!" Sakura gaped, remembering that there had been no popsicles in the freezer after dinner.

"...Tomorrow!" Aida flashed his own cheesy grin, accompanied by a thumbs-up.

Sakura burst out laughing. "Good night, Dad."

Aida couldn't keep the smile off his face as he left the room and closed the door behind him. This was a milestone for him, the first time he had ever helped his daughter through something on his own. Sure, he was always there to support her, but it was Hikari who did all the "heavy lifting", so to speak. Aida simply had no experience with girls, and it showed. Whenever Sakura came home crying after a run-in with bullies, Hikari sprung into action quick as a blink, while her husband just kinda stood there in the background, offering awkward words of encouragement.

But this time he wasn't hopelessly out of his depth, and he was more than a little proud of how he handled the situation. Especially since it had been a major, life-altering crisis and not just a simple case of hurt feelings.

"You make it very hard to love you sometimes, you know that?" Aida wasn't the least bit surprised to see his wife leaning against the hallway wall just a few feet from Sakura's bedroom door. Nor was he surprised by the withering glare she fixed him with.

"Just sometimes, right?" Aida joked as he started walking towards the master bedroom, knowing what was about to happen and not wanting Sakura to hear it.

"This isn't funny, Aida." Hikari scoffed as she followed her husband. "This is our daughter's life."

"Exactly. HER life, not ours."

"Says the man trying to live vicariously through his child?"

"Is that what you think?" Aida asked, his tone and gaze uncharacteristically hard. "I know you don't like all this 'ninja business', and you probably don't pay much attention to what she says because of that, but I do. She likes being a kunoichi. She feels that it's her calling, specifically as a medic. This is what she wants to do, whether either of us like it or not." they stopped in front of their bedroom door. "I'm just as worried about her as you are, and if she decided to quit for the right reasons, I would've stood behind her along with you."

"And what constitutes 'the right reasons' to you?" Hikari was surprised by how unyielding Aida was, but she didn't let it show, as her glare never faltered.

"Being unfit for duty, or simply getting over being a ninja. If your heart's not in it, there's no point in sticking with it. But that wasn't the case. Her heart is still very much in it, which is why she was so conflicted. She fooled herself into thinking she wasn't cut out for it just because she couldn't keep up with her teammates." Aida didn't miss how Hikari's scowl deepened at the mention of Sakura's teammates. It wasn't just the Jinchūriki she had a problem with. "She was driving herself mad trying to reach goals that were unrealistic from the get-go. The potential and the will are there, she just needed to accept that it's going to take a bit longer for her to reach that potential, and realize there's no shame in that."

"She's still too young...She doesn't understand what she's gotten into." Hikari said, dropping her eyes to the ground and releasing a shuddering breath.

In a second, Aida had her in his arms. He knew those morbid thoughts were getting the better of her again, and fortunately this was another situation he knew how to deal with.

"You don't give her enough credit. Remember what she told us about her first real mission? Remember how terrified she looked? But she never said anything about quitting. Didn't even apply for a transfer to another team. Sakura is stronger than you think, probably stronger than she thinks as well, and getting better everyday. She's not our little girl anymore, Hikari. I won't say she's all grown up, but she can take care of herself now, and you have to trust her to do that." Aida said, resting his chin on the top of his wife's head while gently stroking her hair.

Hikari didn't verbally reply, but her arms encircling his abdomen and squeezing told him all he needed to know.

(7:00am)

Morning saw a very different atmosphere in the Haruno household. The tension from the previous night had evaporated, leaving everyone all-smiles as they prepared themselves for the day ahead. Sakura's self-esteem had been restored, Hikari had patched things up with both her husband and daughter, and Aida...Well, make-up sex was just awesome like that.(5)

"Sakura, are you staying for breakfast?" Hikari called from the kitchen. She already knew the answer, but it didn't hurt to check.

"No thanks, Mom!" Sakura yelled back from her personal bathroom. "I'm probably late as it is; I'll just grab a few granola bars before I leave!" she couldn't believe she had overslept! But she couldn't say she regretted anything; it was the best night's sleep she'd gotten in a long time.

Back in the kitchen, Hikari shook her head and sighed. "I remember when we used to eat breakfast together all the time."

Aida grinned from his place at the dining table. "What's wrong with just the two of us?" one would've expected him to help his wife cook, since he wasn't doing anything else, but he couldn't even if he wanted to. Hikari had forbade him from so much as boiling water after he nearly burned the house to the ground trying to make her a birthday dinner.

"Nothing, it's just...Now I know how my mother felt when I got my first job. The nest is getting to be too small for my baby." Hikari smiled sadly.

"I wouldn't say that. She may be a legal adult, but I think the last thing on her mind is finding her own place and striking out on her own. She's still our girl, just not our _little_ girl." a second later, there was a knock at the front door. "Hm, must be Sasuke."

As Aida got up to answer the door, Hikari frowned at the mention of the Uchiha boy. Her daughter being on the same team as that monster in human skin was bad enough, and the Uchiha was just insult added to injury. Everyone knew about what Sasuke had been through, but Hikari had called in some favors to get his not-so-public records to see exactly what kind of effect the incident had on him. And she didn't like what she saw.

Hundreds of therapy sessions and psyche evaluations, the results of which were mostly swept under the rug. PTSD, severe anger issues, a predilection towards violence and a myriad of other confirmed and suspected problems, including the beginnings of psychosis, megalomania and antisocial personality disorder. The boy was a ticking time bomb, and being on a team with him put Sakura in danger of being right beside him when he finally went off. Hikari did her best to have Sakura reassigned, but as a civilian she just didn't have enough pull on the ninja side of things.

However, from what Hikari had personally seen and what Sakura told them about, Sasuke's mental condition had improved dramatically. But Hikari still didn't trust him, and neither did her husband. Unfortunately, Sakura wouldn't listen to either of them and was too infatuated to see what was staring her right in the face.(6)

Of course, they never gave Sasuke himself the slightest hint of their true opinions about him. So when Aida opened the door, he put on his best "salesman's smile".

"Ah, good morning, Sa...?" the man's greeting died in his throat when he saw that Sasuke wasn't alone this time. "Um...Hinata-san?" what was she doing here? With the Uchiha, of all people?

"Good morning, Mr. Haruno." Hinata bowed politely.

Aida was momentarily struck silent by the sight before him. He hadn't seen Hinata in over a year, ever since a sleepover Sakura had with her other female classmates. But that girl and this one appeared to be two very different people. For one, this girl carried herself with pride and confidence, but with a notable lack of the aristocratic arrogance associated with a typical Hyūga. This one also wore much darker colors, with her current outfit, a very simple long-sleeved shirt and pants, being a dark navy blue, matching her sandals. At least she had finally ditched that coat of hers. How she could tolerate that thing in Konoha's tropical climate was beyond Aida.(7)

"Hello, Mr. Haruno." Sasuke nodded to the man. "Is Sakura still here?"

"She is. She overslept, I hope it isn't too much of a problem." Aida answered.

"Doubt it. We're going through a...weird phase as a team. Our sensei seems more interested in making us all friends instead of actually doing anything, so there's really nothing for us to be late for." Sasuke shrugged.

"I see...I'm sorry, it's not that it isn't good to see you again, Hinata-san, but what are you doing here? Are you and Sasuke-san...you know...?"

"Oh, God, no!" Hinata recoiled as if struck. "Ah, no offense, Uchiha-san."

"None taken." Sasuke took it in stride, unknowingly impressing Aida.

"We aren't dating or anything, I just went a bit overboard with training last night and ended up staying with my sensei. I left with him, since my team's training ground is in the same general area as Team Seven's." Hinata explained.

"'Him'? I thought your sensei was a woman, Yūhi Kurenai, right?" Aida questioned.

"'Officially', maybe." the answer didn't come from either of the Genin standing in front of the door, but rather from someone standing out of view off to the side.

A sudden, inexplicable sense of dread came over the man as he poked his head out to peek around the corner. That dread became outright fear when saw, leaning against the outer wall of his home, a hooded individual clad in solid black from head to toe. This was Naruto, and Sakura's descriptions of him were dead-on, right down to the fact that his mere presence inspired a deep, instinctive kind of terror. Like staring down a shark and knowing you had just dropped several notches on the food chain.

"I would introduce myself, but I think you know who I am." the newcomer drawled.

"Na-Namizake-san, r-right?" Aida tried to smile, even as he was starting to sweat. On reflex he extended his hand for a shake, just as he had done the first time he met Sasuke, and his breath hitched. That was just about the last thing he wanted to do, the last thing he had any right to do, but he couldn't just pull it back. Not until the gesture was rejected, anyway.

Naruto looked at the hand, noting it was visibly trembling, then back up to its owner. Then, surprising all present, he shook it. And didn't even take the opportunity to make the man squirm in pain from the pressure of his grip.

"_Namikaze_, Mr. Haruno." Naruto pulled his hand away and gave a light grunt when found his palm wet.

"I, uh...S-Sorry..." Aida stammered as he hastily wiped his hands off on his pants. "I'll go and, uh, tell Sakura that you're here!"

"If it's not too much trouble." Naruto said dryly, wiping his own hand off on his jacket. When the man closed the door, Naruto noticed the looks his two cohorts were giving him. "What? I played nice."

"Keyword: played." Sasuke replied. "Freaked me out and I was just watching."

On the other side of the door, Aida hadn't yet moved. He was still trying to gather himself so he didn't go to his daughter looking like he'd just woken up from a nightmare.

'Kami...Is that who Sakura has to deal with all day?!' Aida though, then froze as another thought crossed his mind. Was that who his wife had been antagonizing all these years?

"Honey, breakfast is ready." Hikari called, poking her head out of the kitchen. Her brow furrowed when her husband nearly jumped out of his skin and whirled around, looking for all the world like a frightened rabbit. "Is something wrong?"

"No, no, nothing at all!" Aida answered, his voice far more pitchy than he would've liked.

"Uh-huh..." Hikari deadpanned as she fully exited the kitchen. "Was that Sasuke?"

"Who? Oh! Yes, yes it was." Aida could feel the sweat dripping down his nose.

"...And you closed the door in his face?" sure, the pinkette wasn't the Uchiha's biggest fan, by a long shot, but she'd never be so rude to him. Unless he did something to deserve it, of course.

"Uhh..." he hadn't even thought about that; he just wanted to put something in between him and Naruto.

"What's wrong with you?" Hikari demanded. Aida couldn't keep a secret from her, and he knew better than to even try.

"Sasuke, he...He wasn't alone this time."

"That's even worse!" Hikari pinched the bridge of her nose and let out a grumbling sigh. "Who was he with? Please don't tell me it was Sakura's sensei."

"I wish."

"...It's _Him_, isn't it?" Hikari all but snarled. That _thing_ dared to show its face around her home?!

"Don't!" quick as a blink, Aida grabbed his wife's wrist as she went to rip the door open. "Just...Just don't."

"You think I'm going to let that _animal_ get away with-"

"Get away with what? Walking on the street? Being in our neighborhood with his teammate? What, exactly, would you say to him? The Sandaime's law applies to you as well, Council seat be damned." Aida whispered harshly, understandably terrified at the thought of what would happen if he allowed Hikari to open that door. One slip of the tongue and her life was forfeit.

"..."

"Please, don't fight me on this." Aida pleaded. "If not for me, then for our daughter. If you make him mad, who do you think he's going to take it out on?" he didn't really think the boy would do that, but he knew that it would get through to his wife.

Hikari's eyes widened and she finally stopped fighting her husband's grip. He was right. Letting her daughter go out with her team was like handing her over to the demon on a silver platter. The last thing she wanted to do was give it a motive when it already had opportunity. No, she would have to play nice, but she couldn't when that beast was involved. It was best to just walk away, which is exactly what she did without a word.

Aida released a breath he didn't know he'd been holding when his wife stormed off. Crisis averted. But for how long? He couldn't shake the feeling that Naruto hadn't come here on a simple whim, and that this was just the beginning.

(Training Ground Twelve, 1:00pm)

"Oof!" came Kiba's pained grunt as his back hit the ground. Hard.

"Oh, God!" Hinata squeaked, backing away from him with her hands over her mouth. "I'm so sorry! Are...Are you alright?"

"Yeah...Just fine..." Kiba lied as he slowly sat up. His head was throbbing, his vision was blurred and he felt like he needed a chiropractor ASAP. "Have I told you that you're a lot stronger than you look?"

"I believe that's the third time you've said it today." Shino commented from the sidelines, patiently awaiting his chance to spar with the winner, which was apparently Hinata.

"Well here's number four: You're a lot stronger than you look." Kiba winced as he got to his feet, unable to stand to his full height at the moment.

"I'm really, really sorry, Kiba-kun, I...I didn't mean to do that." it was true, the throw that she had just performed on Kiba was out of pure instinct; her body reacted before she was even able to consciously process what was going on.

Hinata's attention had been on her team's sensei, Kurenai Yūhi, whose own attention didn't appear to be on them. She looked troubled, and as Hinata contemplated what the red-eyed woman could be upset about, Kiba had taken the opportunity to go for a sneak attack from behind.

Unfortunately for him, Hinata's senses were far sharper than before, hearing and smell in particular rivaling those of the Inuzuka himself. Not only could she hear his footsteps and his breathing, but he had been upwind, so she could even smell him. He may have been keeping his promise to take baths regularly, but the scented anti-perspirant he used, though nice, betrayed him.

When he'd gotten close enough, Hinata's body kicked into action. She'd spun around so fast that Kiba barely registered the movement. As she did this, she had grabbed his right arm with her left hand, completed the rotation, leaned her upper body to the left, hooked her right arm under his left armpit and around his torso, used his own momentum to flip him over her hip, and slammed him into the ground in front of her.

It had all happened so fast, Shino had almost missed it when he blinked. Kurenai had only caught it by chance, as she'd been going back and forth between watching the sparring match and her own thoughts.

But they had seen it, and the exact same thought went through both of their minds: that was NOT a move from the Gentle Fist Taijutsu style.

"Are you sure you're alright?" Hinata pressed, noticing her friend's pained expression and slouched posture.

"Of course! It'll take more than that to keep me down!" Kiba boasted with a laugh, which nearly turned into a yelp when he tried to straighten up.

"You don't look alright..." Hinata said, her eyes narrowing slightly as they bored into Kiba's own.

"I must agree with Hinata's assessment, Kiba. Judging from the estimated amount of force you hit the ground with, it is highly possible that you have suffered a minor concussion." Shino tilted his head forward slightly, sunlight shining briefly across the lenses of his sunglasses. "Furthermore, your posture, strained voice, facial twitches and false bravado lead me to conclude that your back is in terrible pain. That being the case, you are most certainly _not_ alright."

Kiba wanted to refute his teammate's "diagnosis", but he couldn't. Not when his head was pounding and he felt like someone was stabbing him in the back with a kunai. A kunai that had spent a minute or two inside a furnace.

"Kiba, how many fingers am I holding up?" Kurenai asked as she walked up to her students.

"Three." Kiba answered.

He'd gotten it right, but he had taken nearly two full seconds to answer. That was too long for a civilian, let alone a ninja.

"Right. Hinata, Shino, make sure he gets checked out by a doctor." Kurenai ordered.

"Sensei, aren't you coming?" Hinata asked, hoping for a chance to talk to the woman. She had helped the Hyūga' heiress through many difficult times, and Hinata was eager to at least try and return the favor.

"No, I...I've got some things to take care of." Konoha's resident "Ice Queen" declined.

"Oh, well...okay." Hinata tried not to let her sadness show, but failed miserably.

"Hinata...That throw you used on Kiba, it's not a part of your clan's Taijutsu, is it?" she already knew the answer, but Kurenai wanted to hear it the Hyūga's mouth.

"No, it's something that Naruto-sa-ensei taught me." Hinata gave a mental sigh of relief when she managed to catch her little slip-up in time.

"I see." Kurenai did her best to keep a scowl off her face. "Dismissed." and without another word, the rookie Jōnin vanished in a swirl of leaves, leaving behind three thoroughly confused Genin.

"Huh...I think we just got snubbed, guys." Kiba remarked somewhat bitterly.

"It would appear so." Shino remarked, staring at the spot their sensei had just vacated. "The question is: for what?"

"Eh, doesn't much matter to me." Kiba said with a shrug, wincing as even that simply action caused a spike of pain to shoot through his spine. "Either it's not important enough for her to tell us, or it's just plain none of our business."

Contrary to popular belief, Kiba was far from ignorant when to came to females. Growing up in a predominately female household, he figured out how to read the signs at an early age. With a single sniff, he could tell if a female was stressed, sad or flat-out angry. With a single glance, he could evaluate their body language and tell just how far-gone into a certain emotion they were.

And from what he picked up from his sensei, Kiba could confidently say that he wanted nothing to do with whatever was going on with her. He knew that he most likely wouldn't be able to help, and would probably get in trouble if he tried.

"That's kind of heartless, Kiba-kun..." Hinata said, idly scratching Akamaru's head. She didn't remember ever picking him up.

"Hey, I'm just being realistic." Kiba shrugged again, then let out a sharp yelp immediately afterward. "Okay, I think I'm ready for that doctor now."

"Then let's go." Shino said, then turned on his heel and began walking towards Konoha General Hospital.

"Hey, a little help here?" Kiba huffed. Just standing up hurt like hell, and he wasn't about to even attempt to walk the nearly two miles to the hospital, "tough-guy" status be damned.

"What would you have me do?" Shino asked as he stopped walking. "You've already said that you don't want me to touch you outside of training or missions." he resumed his trek without another word.

"...He's still sore about that?" Kiba whispered to Hinata.

"Well, you _did_ call him creepy, so..." Hinata trailed off, slightly ashamed of herself for not sticking up for Shino during that "incident".

"I didn't call HIM creepy; I said his bugs were!"

"Same difference, as far as he's concerned." if it was one thing Hinata had learned about Shino, and the Aburame in general, it was that they took insults towards any type of insect personally. Especially the chakra-eating beetles housed within their bodies. "If someone insulted Akamaru, wouldn't you take personal offense to it yourself?" both Hinata and the white-furred puppy looked at Kiba, awaiting his response.

"Well, yeah, but..."

"No 'buts', it's the exact same thing." Hinata said sternly.

"Uh...sorry?" Kiba ventured, going with the standard response when faced with a miffed female and lacking anything else to say.

"For what? You haven't done anything to me." Hinata replied, setting Akamaru down. "Shino-kun's the one who should apologize to."

Akamaru have a bark of agreement before jumping up into his master/partner's jacket for a nap.

'Just whose side are you on?!' Kiba thought with a frown, but didn't say anything on the matter. It's not like he could, either; the pup had most likely picked up the habit of agreeing with whatever a female said from his master.

"Now, do you still need some help walking, or does the 'no touching' rule apply to me, as well?" Hinata teased.

"Oh no, you can touch me anytime you want." Kiba said, using his best "lady-killer" smile.

"..."

"Sorry..."

(Hokage Tower, 1:10pm)

Kurenai sighed softly for the umpteenth time in the last couple minutes. She felt horrible for blowing her students off like she had, but she felt she had done what she had to do. They didn't need to see her like this. The Genjutsu Mistress knew that her Genin squad had noticed her strange behavior today, but this was a side of her that she could never let them view.

She was a Jōnin Sensei, dammit! A pillar of strength! A vision of the poise and power her students should strive for! That's what they needed to make it in the cruel and unforgiving world of ninjas. Not a moping, melancholy woman, lamenting past failures and missed opportunities like some old hag. She would only be doing them all a disservice by guiding them in such a sorry state.

'But...aren't I doing them a disservice already?' there it was. That dark thought which had been running rampant through her mind all day.

It appeared in countless variations, but always as a question, leaving seeds of self-doubt in its wake every time.

Why did she volunteer to become a Jōnin Sensei? She'd been a Jōnin for less than two years when she made her decision.

Why had she been chosen by the Hokage, out of all the other volunteers? She had absolutely no experience in teaching.

Why had she been given the heirs to the Hyūga', Inuzuka and Aburame clans? All three of them could get by just fine without having even a single Genjutsu in their arsenal, as the rest of their families had for generations. And as a team of trackers, they would've been far better off with the likes of Kakashi or even Anko; people who were accomplished trackers themselves.

What had they learned from her? Hinata and Shino had already been well-versed in the basics thanks to their clan training, and had helped Kiba with the water walking exercises more than Kurenai herself. Beyond that, there really wasn't much she could teach them in the first place. Though she would never admit it, Naruto was right about her limited capabilities for someone of Jōnin rank. She had no business teaching anyone Taijutsu, her arsenal of Ninjutsu left a bit be desired, and the only weapons she could handle expertly were standard ninja tools such as kunai, senbon and so on.

So why?

As usual, Kurenai's traitorous mind provided the answers she didn't want to hear.

She had volunteered to be a Jōnin Sensei because she was ambitious and felt she had something to prove. Taking on students was serious business, and doing it successfully could open up a lot of doors. Her quest to prove her worth was further fueled by the fact that she'd already had one student, a potential apprentice, not work out. Selfish reasons, no matter how you looked at it.

She had been chosen by the Sandaime Hokage because he took a liking to her heart and determination, as well as her compassion and discipline. He hoped she would instill those same qualities in her students. He had mistaken her self-serving desires for a drive to do her duty to the village and usher in the next generation of warriors and protectors. And she let him think that. She let them all think that.

She didn't know why she had been given the heirs to such prominent clans, but she had her theories. Perhaps it was because she was a woman; a natural nurturer and caregiver. Maybe the Clanheads felt that their children would be safer with her, even if they learned little from her. Or, less plausibly, they wanted their kids to learn Genjutsu to make themselves more well-rounded ninjas, as well as plant the seeds for future Genjutsu-users within the clans. Kurenai highly doubted that possibility. Hiashi Hyūga', as well as the Hyūga' Elders, abhorred Genjutsu, for one reason or another. Tsume Inuzuka just wasn't the type for "fancy illusions"; she would rather get up close and personal with her opponents, and tear them to shreds. And Shibi Aburame...Well, Kurenai wasn't exactly sure why the Aburame didn't make use Genjutsu; with their love of mind games and deception, it seemed to be right up their alley.

As for what her students had actually learned...Teamwork. That was one thing Kurenai could always look back on with pride. She had taught them the true value of comrades, both in and out of battle and missions. If that was the only thing they ever learned from her, then at least she would have left her mark on them. Which was more than she could say she'd done for her previous student.

"Yakumo..." Kurenai murmured to herself as she walked through the surprisingly empty halls or the Hokage Tower, on her way to the Sandaime's office.

Her former student was the reason for her bouts of depression and feelings of inadequacy. More accurately, what she had overheard concerning her former student just yesterday.

(Flashback)

"Hmm...My outfit seems a bit more...snug than I remember. Perhaps I should think about going on a diet...I have been eating more junk food lately." Kurenai mumbled to herself as she walked down the main road joining Konoha's shopping district with the residential area most ninjas lived in. 'Listen to me; I sound like that Yamanaka girl that Asu-kun's stuck with!'

It was just after eight o'clock and the streets were all but packed with people either going home from work, or heading out for a night on the town. Kurenai herself was one of the former, on her way to her apartment with a bag full of groceries. It had been a while since she'd had a good home-cooked meal, and she really had been eating a disproportionate amount of what she labeled as "junk food".

Speaking of junk food, Kurenai actually had to force herself to keep walking when a certain smell drifted into her nostrils. However, she did slow down considerably, and her eyes involuntarily darted up and to her right, locking onto the segmented banner hanging above the entrance. Ichiraku's Ramen. Oh, sweet Kami...

'No...No! This is exactly what I'm talking about!' Kurenai's mind raged as she tried to kick her body into gear. 'I don't care how delicious it is; it's bad for you! It clogs your arteries, slows you down and goes straight to your hips! I like my hips just the way they are! So move it, damn you!'

"Say, did you hear about what happened to the Hokage Tower?" Kurenai stopped struggling with her uncooperative body as her attention was drawn to the ramen stand for a completely different reason.

"Yeah, Toshio told me. Said the roof spontaneously combusted, or something." came a second male voice.

Now Kurenai's interest was truly piqued. She hadn't heard anything about a fire at the tower. Silently moving closer to the stand, she tried to get a look at who was talking. Unfortunately, the banner was blocking her view of their faces, and the flak jackets told her nothing.

"No, that wasn't it." came a the voice of a third male ninja. "The tower was struck by lightning."

The other two started to laugh, and even Kurenai found herself suppressing a giggle.

"I heard that it happened in the afternoon; that's kinda early to be getting hammered, don'cha think?" shinobi number one chuckled.

"You can laugh all you want; I know what I saw." shinobi number three grumbled. "But that's not even the weird part."

"Oh? The Hokage Tower getting set on fire by a lightning bolt in the middle of a sunny, _cloudless_ day ISN'T the weird part? Okay, this I gotta hear." shinobi number two laughed.

"Whatever." shinobi number three snorted before starting his story. "So, I'm walking along, minding my own business, up around that big hill near the tower."

"The one where those calendar photos are taken, right?"

"Yeah, that's it. Anyway, I got nothing to do, so I figure I'll go up to the hilltop and take a nap under a tree, or something. But, when I get up there, I see I'm not alone. There's this girl, a civilian, painting something. I said 'hello', but she acted like I wasn't even there. Kinda like my ex-girlfriend; once she got into that zone it was like nothing else existed. Needless to say, I was curious about what she was so focused on, so I walked up to look over her shoulder. It was a damn-near photo-realistic painting of the entire business district, with the tower dead center. But there was something off about it...Even though there wasn't a cloud in the sky, the painting made it look like the storm of the century! I wanted to say something, but just a few seconds later, the sky clouded over, just like in the painting." the ninja paused.

"Dude...are you shaking?" one of the other ninjas asked.

"You're damn right I am! And you would be, too, if you had been there. If you had seen the look on that girl's face when she did...whatever the hell it was that she did. All I know is that she loaded one of her brushes up with white paint and just..._slashed_ in this huge line, going from the clouds, straight to the tower in the painting. Not even a second later, the biggest lightning bolt I've ever seen came down and lit the tower up like a damn roman candle! Of course, I'm all 'Holy Shit!', not believing what I just saw. But the proof was in the pudding; the fucking tower was on fire! I looked back at her, and she's smiling like someone just handed her a free puppy. But it was her eyes that really creeped me out. I've seen eyes like that before...when I used to work as a guard at the prison. That girl wasn't playing with a full deck, you know what I mean?"

"...You sure you weren't drinking?" one of the ninjas asked, causing the other to let out a barking laugh.

"Hey, fuck you, Daisuke!" the storyteller growled and slammed his hands down on the counter. "I wasn't drunk, I wasn't high, I wasn't poisoned and I wasn't hit on the head! I know what I saw, and I saw a civilian teenager conjure up a fucking thunderstorm, with a fucking painting!"

"Okay, okay, just calm down, Kentaro." the one identified as 'Daisuke' placated.

"Can you blame us for being a little skeptical? You gotta admit that's kinda...out there."

"And when's the last time I lied to you or made shit up, Seta? When I told you I saw Mizuki run off with the Forbidden Scroll, it was true. When I told you I saw Haruno Hikari scare off a giant bear just by screaming at it, it was true. When I told you I saw the Hokage reading Icha-Icha Paradise, it was true. So when I tell you that a little girl used a painting to set the Hokage Tower on fire, it's true!" Kentaro let out an exhausted groan.

"...So, what happened to her? The girl, I mean." Seta asked, a noticeable tremor in his voice.

"...After seeing what I saw, and knowing that she was responsible for it, I was going to detain her and bring her in for questioning. But before I could do anything, two Medic-nin showed up. She tried to run when she saw them, but one of them injected something into the side of her neck and she went down. I was about to ask what was going on, then an ANBU just appeared right in front of me and gave me the 'you didn't see anything' routine. He took the painting and left with the medics and the girl, didn't even spare a glance at the tower."

There was a whistle before Daisuke spoke, "Damn. Must be something heavy if the ANBU are involved."

Kurenai didn't hear the rest of the conversation. She didn't need to.

(End Flashback)

"-nai-san...Kurenai-san!" the red-eyed woman was jolted from her memories by the voice of the Hokage's secretary.

"Sorry, Mihoshi-san." Kurenai apologized with a small bow.

"No need for that, you just had me worried. Are you alright?"

"I've been a little...distracted as of late. In fact, that's actually why I'm here. Is the Hokage available?"

"He is, since all of his appointments have been cancelled due to the fire." Mihoshi giggled into her hand. "Well, actually it's because of the ones who tried to put it out. Turns out Hokage-sama had the windows open, so the water got in and drenched most of his papers. They're still being rewritten." those same shinobi had been given extra pay, equivalent to an S-Class mission, for their "heroism", but Mihoshi had been instructed not to mention that. She then pressed the button on the intercom on her desk. "Hokage-sama, Yuhi Kurenai is here to see you."

_"By all means, send her in." _came the Hokage's typically friendly reply.

"Go right ahead." Mihoshi chirped with a smile. "I hope you have a wonderful day!"

"...I don't think that's in the cards, but thanks anyway." Kurenai said as she walked up to the door to the Hokage's office, steeled her resolve and opened it.

"Huh...And here I was, thinking she was one of the more straight-forward ones." Mihoshi mumbled before returning to her work. Really, why did so many ninjas feel the need to be cryptic and ominous all the time?

(Ichiraku's Ramen, 1:30pm)

"I still don't know why you didn't let them treat you, Kiba-kun." Hinata said with a disapproving frown as she and her team waited for their food.

The Inuzuka waved off her concern. "They treated me just fine. See?" to prove his point, Kiba rotated his upper body left and right, showing he had full range of movement with no pain.

"I believe Hinata-san was referring to Medical Ninjutsu." Shino said. "You wouldn't let them do a second diagnostic."

"They didn't need to." Kiba replied somewhat defensively. He despised hospitals. That horrid, artificial stench of sterility; it was like someone had used countless gallons of bleach to clean up a crime scene. If he didn't have to be there, he wasn't going to be there. So once the pain stopped, Kiba was gone before the nurses or his teammates could get a word in.

"I wasn't aware you were qualified to make your own prognoses." Shino remarked. "Looks like you have competition for the position of team medic, Hinata-san."

Kiba stared at the Aburame heir in confusion and surprise. Was that...sarcasm? Since when did Shino do sarcasm?

'Probably when he's mad at the person he's talkin' to...' the Inuzuka thought, then Hinata caught his eye. She was giving him "The Look". A bit on the amateurish side compared to his mother, but there was no mistaking it. "Look, Shino...I'm sorry about what I said, okay? I wasn't thinkin'. When you used those bugs on me...The feeling, the _sound_, it freaked me out. I didn't mean to say it; it just sorta came out."

"...So you're apologizing for telling me how you really felt, as opposed to lying to spare my feelings."

"Now you're just bein' an ass." Kiba snorted. Being all but forced to apologize was bad enough, and he wasn't about to have his apology twisted and turned back on him. "Hinata told me to look at things from your point of view, and I did. Now I need you to look at it from MY point of view. Knowin' you've got bugs crawlin' around under your skin is one thing. I'm not afraid of bugs or anythin'. But being _swarmed_ by 'em and picked up like a friggin' poodle, with no warning whatsoever? I'm sorry for offendin' you, but I think my reaction was justified."

Hinata hung her head and sighed in resignation. Only Kiba could turn an apology into an argument in less than a minute.

Fortunately, Shino quickly concluded that Kiba was right and that he shared just as much of the blame. Shino hadn't given a single thought to how Kiba would feel, since the bugs didn't seem to bother him very much during their sparring matches. But the incident hadn't taken place during a combat situation, nor had Kiba been informed of/expecting what Shino was going to do. And after the fact, Shino allowed his emotions to blind him to what should've been obvious. He was used to "outsiders" seeing his clan's abilities as creepy, or even downright horrifying, but he, like all the others, shrugged it off. Their opinions didn't matter and the clan's track record spoke for itself. But words like that from the mouth of a close friend? That pierced right through to the heart.

"You're right, Kiba-san. I made an assumption and acted irrationally when it proved to be wrong." Shino admitted.

"I'll accept your apology if you accept mine." receiving a nod, Kiba grinned and held his left fist out towards the other boy. "Are we cool?"

"Yes, I believe so." Shino extended his own fist, almost hesitantly, and bumped knuckles with the Inuzuka heir. Though his poker face remained intact, on the inside Shino's heart leapt into his throat. While he had embraced being an outcast like the rest of his clan, he couldn't help but wonder what it would be like to just be "one of the guys". If this was it, he most certainly could get used to the feeling.

For her part, Hinata blinked several times in rapid succession, as if unable to comprehend what she had just seen. Then again, when was the last time anyone in her life had admitted they were wrong or took any percentage of blame unto themselves? No, it was always her fault, and hers alone.

Once again, Hinata hung her head, this time in shame. She should've been happy that her teammates and friends had resolved their differences, but instead she felt bitter about how easily they'd done it.

"Oh, Hina-chan, I forgot to tell you!" Hinata nearly jumped out of her seat when Ayame seemingly appeared out of thin air right in front of her on the other side of the counter, with a near-radioactive grin on her face. "Naru-chan stopped by yesterday!"

"Who are you..." Hinata trailed off when she remembered what Ayame used to call Naruto back in the day. "Really? Naruto was actually here?" she just barely suppressed a groan. Of course that's how it would work out. When she had a plan to jog his memory by meeting up at their old stomping ground, it was like he made a conscious effort to avoid the place. But AFTER they reconnect, under far less ideal circumstances, he shows up and she's not even around.

"...'Naru-chan'?!" Kiba guffawed. "Oh, Kami, she...she called him...Naru-chan! I can't breathe!"

Hinata stared at Kiba with a completely flat expression, then looked over her shoulder, out towards the street.

"Please don't hurt him too bad, Naruto-kun." she said in a pleading voice.

"Gah!" Kiba yelped as he whirled around, falling off of his stool in the process. However, instead of an angry Naruto bearing down on him, he saw...nothing. Just people walking by in the street, minding their own business. "...That wasn't funny."

"Agree to disagree." Shino said, prompting another round of giggles from Hinata, and a withering look from Kiba.

"Did Naruto-kun talk to you about anything?" the Hyūga heiress asked.

"Nothing, really." Ayame shrugged. "He was here with his team and I don't think he trusted them very much."

"There are very few people he does trust."

"Are you one of them?" Ayame asked with a suggestive wiggle of her eyebrows.

"Yes." Hinata replied without hesitation, and only the lightest of blushes. She knew exactly what Ayame was implying, and she did have a guaranteed date with him. But beyond that, Hinata was privy to things that a select few people knew about. People in Naruto's "inner circle". He trusted her with his secrets, and she was immeasurably proud of that.

"Aww, so I suppose that means you wouldn't entertain the idea of, ahem, _sharing_?" Ayame's inquiry was met with silence, to which she just grinned cheekily.(8)

Meanwhile, Kiba stewed in silent anger at the turn the girls' conversation had taken. Just how in the blue hell did freakin' NARUTO, of all creepy-ass people, have girls falling for him left and right?! Hinata, the hottie in the leather outfit, and now even the cute ramen girl! It just wasn't fair!

'It has to be that "mysterious bad boy" thing, just like with that asshole Uchiha.' Kiba reasoned.

He would admit that he could be a bit of a pig sometimes, or, more fittingly, a dog. But at least he had some personality, was easy on the eyes and knew how to have a good time. Naruto? If he didn't ignore girls, he probably threatened to kill them if they so much as waved at him. And what kind of Genin walked around wearing a mask twenty-four/seven? Someone who took himself way too seriously, or was one ugly sumbitch. Kiba was putting his money on both.

"I believe females are attracted to the 'mystique' surrounding Naruto-san." Shino supplied, as if reading Kiba's thoughts. Which actually wasn't hard to do for someone skilled in deciphering facial expressions and body language.

"Then why aren't you beatin' girls off with a stick yourself?" Kiba grumbled.

"How do you know I'm not?"

"..." it was impossible to tell if the Aburame boy was serious or not, so Kiba smartly chose to drop the topic before he set himself up to be the butt of a joke, or learned something he probably didn't want to know.

"I was hoping I'd find you all here." all three Genin turned at the sound of their sensei's voice.

"Kurenai-sensei..." a sudden feeling of dread welled up in the pit of Hinata's stomach as soon as she laid eyes on the red-eyed woman. A quick glance at Kiba and Shino told her that they were suspicious as well.

"Mind if I join you? My treat." Kurenai offered with a small, disarming smile.

It worked.

"Well, we already ordered, but how can we saw no to free lunch?" Kiba replied with a smile of his own.

As Kurenai took a seat on the stool next to Hinata's, the girl still couldn't shake the feeling in her gut. Something was wrong about this whole situation, she was sure of it...Just not sure enough to speak her mind about it.

By the time the others had finished their bowls fifteen minutes later, Hinata's confidence hadn't grown any, but that horrible sensation had. To the point where she had just barely managed to choke down her ramen, and it was taking every ounce of willpower to keep it down.

"So, what's the bad news, sensei?" Kiba asked, narrowing his eyes at the woman in a blatantly accusatory look.

"What?" Kurenai blinked.

"What's the bad news?" Kiba repeated. "How many times have you lectured me about eatin' unhealthy food? How many times have you preached the values of proper nutrition to me? And now you not only sat there and watched me down two bowls of 'junk food' without a word, but you paid for it and even ate some yourself. I know an attempt to soften a blow when I see it." his mother had bought him a brand new gaming system just a day before she told him the real reason his father had left. He still cried for hours upon learning that his dad was a flat out pussy who ran away from his family and responsibilities, but the games helped ease the pain.

"I must agree with Kiba-san's assessment." Shino said with a nod. "The behavior you've exhibited over the past twenty minutes is very out of character for you, and the logical conclusion is that there is an ulterior motive." at first, the Aburame thought their sensei was simply trying to make up for not only her hasty departure, but the almost complete lack of participation in today's training. She had been little more than a silent spectator, and a distracted one at that. It was actually somewhat insulting.

But Kiba's theory made so much more sense, given what Shino had gleaned of Kurenai's _true_ persona since Team Eight had been active.

"And since I doubt you're tryin' to butter us up to ask some kind of favor, I can only think that you've come here to tell us somethin' that we're not gonna like."

Hinata's eyes widened in realization. Why hadn't she seen it herself?...Because she didn't _want_ to see it. Kurenai was just about the closest thing she had to a mother right now, and she just couldn't bear to think ill of her at all. But now she had no choice. Kurenai was up to something, and had likely chosen to meet them at Ichiraku's, a public setting, to lessen the chances of them making a scene once she dropped whatever bomb she was carrying.

She could feel a tickle in the back of her throat as her stomach churned and growled.

It only got worse when Kurenai gave a small chortle and shook her head. "A Jōnin, caught in the act by her own students...Just reaffirms I've made the right decision."

"What 'decision'?" Kiba asked/demanded, getting a little antsy himself.

"The decision to step down as the Jōnin Sensei of Team Eight." the expected protests didn't come immediately, as the Genin were shocked into silence, so Kurenai took the opportunity to continue. "I've recently been made to realize that I'm not fit for duty as your sensei, and continuing to act as such would only be detrimental to your growth as ninjas. The Hokage has already approved my resignation, and it is effective immediately. I'm sorry, but this is for the best."

"So that's it? You're just gonna wash your hands and walk away?" Kiba growled, his fist clenched so hard that his sharp nails cut into his palm, drawing blood and causing Akamaru to whimper at his side.

"Would you rather I stay on as an ineffective teacher and hold you all back from reaching your full potential?" Kurenai countered.

"Who will be taking your place?" Shino asked, his tone, as usual, betraying nothing. But the low buzzing of the bugs inside him gave away his displeasure.

"I have no say in that, but I'm sure, whoever it is, will be better than me." while a resigning Jōnin Sensei had the right to choose their own successor, Kurenai didn't know anyone well enough to trust them with her former students.

Actually, when she really gave it some thought, she found that she didn't know anyone. She had no friends, not even so much as a drinking buddy or two. She had spent most of her life focused on her career and never made time for socializing. In fact, if she was honest, she probably had more enemies than anything even resembling a friend. People she had used for her own purposes and thrown away, or otherwise slighted in her dogged pursuit of rank and recognition.

"And what if we don't WANT 'better'?" Kiba asked, struggling to reign in his temper.

"Then you should probably think about resigning as well. If you don't want better for yourself, then there's no point in even being a ninja." Kurenai answered with a level of effortless callousness that momentarily rendered the Genin mute again. "You're a good team, strong individuality and able to work together flawlessly. Jōnin will be lining up around the block for the privilege of teaching you." it was Wednesday, and Kurenai was confident there would be two-dozen Jōnin Sensei applicants by Friday once word got out that a well-trained team of prominent clan heirs was up for grabs.

"B-But...But you're our sensei..." Hinata finally managed to speak, though it was more her involuntarily speaking her thoughts.

"Which means it's my responsibility to do what's best for you, and if that means getting out of your way so you can reach your full potential, that's what I will do. This may seem outrageous to you, but ninjas make hard decisions like this every day. Decisions that put their personal feelings and desires aside for the sake of the greater good."

"Yeah, because this is _real_ difficult for you." Kiba scoffed. "Are you even listenin' to yourself? It's like you're readin' from cue cards! If you're gonna drop us like this, at least be fuckin' honest about it instead of givin' us a bunch of bullshit!"

"If that's how you feel, I'm sorry. But I have been nothing but honest with you." technically, it was true, as she wasn't really lying, just withholding some information. That didn't satisfy that nagging little voice in the back of her mind, however. "You'll understand, eventually." she set some money down on the counter and stood up. "I don't like this any more than you do, but if I stayed with you, it would amount to sabotage, knowingly hindering your progress. I care too much about you all to do that to you. I hope we can still be friends, but I can't be your sensei. Goodbye." and with that, she was gone, disappearing into the hustle and bustle outside the restaurant.

"Tch, first we get snubbed, then we get dumped." Kiba snorted in disdain. "What a fucked up day."

"Indeed." Shino said as he, too, stood up from his seat. "Excuse me, I have to inform father of these new developments."

"Yeah, I guess I should tell mom about it, too. Say, you wanna go to the Hokage Tower later on, see what's up? We might get a real answer, instead of the 'it's not you, it's me' bullshit." Kiba proposed.

"Three o'clock?"

"Sounds good." the two boys then turned to Hinata, who had yet to speak or even move. "Um, Hinata?"

"...Yes...Three...I-I should go...tell father as well..." the girl mumbled in response, then, in a series of stiff, jerky movements, stood and left the stand without another word.

"...The Hyūga place is in the other direction, right?" Kiba asked his remaining teammate as they watched Hinata more or less shamble down the street.

"It is."

"So where's she goin', then?"

"..."

"Right. I dunno what help he could possibly be, but at least he can't make it worse. I hope."

(Hokage Monument - 2:25pm)

Standing atop the stone head of the Sandaime Hokage, Kurenai looked out over the village with a deep frown marring her elegant features. She hated what she had done to her students...her _former_ students. The look on Hinata's face alone after she'd delivered the news broke the Jōnin's heart, and very nearly her resolve as well. Even so, she stood by her decision; she was no longer fit to be their instructor. Not that she had been in the first place, but in her current state she was even more unfit for the job. She was compromised, and had done her duty by taking herself out of the equation before any damage was done. Part of being a ninja was knowing when to swallow your pride and bow out, and she knew what she did was for the best.

But that fact would do little to chase the image of Hinata's utter despair and panic out of her dreams.

Kiba and Shino had reacted as expected, though the former proved to be far more perceptive than she'd given him credit for. Hinata's reaction was as Kurenai had predicted as well, but that didn't make it any easier to shrug off. Kiba and Shino were far more independent, and Kurenai had never really connected with them on a personal level. But Hinata was an entirely different story; the girl might as well have been her stepdaughter.

"...She's a strong girl, moreso now than ever." Kurenai nodded to herself as she took a sip from a can of fruit juice. "This is just another bump in the road. She'll get over it, and be better for it."

"For your sake, you should hope so." Kurenai nearly jumped out of her skin, whirling around and dropping her drink in favor of a kunai.

Naruto took note of the fact that she didn't put the weapon away once she caught sight of him.

"Was that a threat, Namikaze?" Kurenai asked, eyes narrowed.

"Was that a rhetorical question, Yūhi?" Naruto replied, walking past the woman without even sparing her a glance.

Kunai still drawn, Kurenai eyed the boy warily, watching for even the slightest hint of ill intentions. She also noticed, with some curiosity, that he'd modified his outfit since she'd last seen him, and he also appeared to be taller, though she had no idea how he could've grown nearly two inches in just a couple weeks.

"Do you have a problem with me?" Kurenai asked, fed up with the complete lack of respect and outright hostility she suffered from the masked Genin every time they met.

"Why ask questions you already know the answer to?"

"Why? What have I ever done to you?" Kurenai was genuinely clueless as to what she had done to draw the boy's ire.

Before she came to be a Jōnin sensei, she'd never even met Naruto, at most walking past him on the street every now and then. His status as a Jinchūriki meant little to her, though she'd be lying if she said she didn't hold a _little_ resentment towards the beast within him for killing her father. But she made the distinction between said beast and its vessel. To her, he was just another citizen of Konoha. She'd never so much as gave him a funny look! So what the hell was his deal?!

"Nothing, which is why I've never done anything to you." Naruto answered as he looked out over the village.

Kurenai's scowl deepened at yet another sign of disrespect; he couldn't even extend her the courtesy of looking at who he was speaking to.

"So this is just you being an asshole, then?"

"The fact that you can't figure it out on your own only reinforces my disdain for you." Naruto said, finally looking at her from over his shoulder. "Before today, you and I only had three things in common: being ninjas of Konohagakure, senseis to Hinata, and one other. As it stands now, the second no longer applies, so we have only two things in common. When you figure out what the second is, I think you'll find your answer. And if not...Well, I'll just be all the more justified in treating you like dirt."

"Just who the hell do you think-"

"Someone who can make you disappear and get away with it. But this isn't about me; I'm here on Hinata's behalf." Naruto interrupted, smirking behind his mask when he saw a large vein begin to bulge under the skin of her forehead.

"...She asked _you_ to talk to me?" Kurenai blinked in confusion as Naruto's second sentence finally cut through the haze of rage that had begun to settle over her mind.

"On her behalf doesn't necessarily mean at her request. As far as I know, she's still curled up on my couch, crying her eyes out because one of the only people she could rely on has abandoned her, and she thinks it's her fault." while he showed no outward signs of anger, the spike of killing intent conveyed his true feelings better than a raised voice or clenched fist.

"Abandoned? I didn't-" once again, Kurenai was cutoff mid-sentence.

"What you did and your reasons for it don't concern me, Yūhi. I'm here because you didn't bother to explain yourself to your students. You know Hinata better than anyone else. You know what she's been through and how her mind works because of it. You should've known the kind of conclusions she would jump to if you didn't make yourself clear."

"I'm sorry if Hinata feels that way, but my reasons are my own, and I know she would respect that." Kurenai inwardly winced at how callous her words sounded.

"Which is why she didn't track you down herself and ask for an explanation. But that's who she is. Even when it hurts her, she doesn't question or protest; she just waits until everyone leaves and finds a dark corner to cry in. It's been that way for most of her life, and you know what they say about old habits."

"That's not my fault."

"No, but you were the one who was supposed to be helping her out of it. In fact, you were the only one helping her with that particular personal issue. And now you've left her on her own, snatching away a crutch that you gave her in the first place, knowing full well she wasn't ready."

"And what about you? Since you've decided to take on the roll of 'sensei', shouldn't you be doing something other than teaching her how to break bones?" Kurenai sniped, not at all appreciating the accusations. Mostly because that rebellious inner voice of hers was agreeing with them.

Naruto scoffed. "You and I both know I am ill-equipped to handle such matters. You know my policy: Someone hurts me, I hurt them back. Sometimes mortally. I don't think that would work with Hinata." he looked at her once again. "In fact, wasn't that your greatest fear? That she would turn out like me? Cold and ruthless, with little, if any, regard for anyone but herself? An evil little Hellion who got off on hearing people scream and beg for mercy?"

Kurenai grimaced. That wasn't just what she was worried about; that was exactly what she had said, word for word, to Asuma during a "kinda-sorta-maybe-not-really-date". She'd thought they had been alone, but apparently that wasn't the case. If Naruto had been listening in then, who knew what other spying he'd done and what else he'd heard. What else he could use against her.

And the worst part was there was nothing illegal about it, unless he tried to blackmail her. There was no law against spying or eavesdropping when it took place in a public area. In fact, it was encouraged, especially when one found a comrade behaving suspiciously or suspected them of a crime. If you were going to say something that you didn't want anyone else to hear, it was up to you to take the steps to ensure what you said remained between you and whomever you intended to say it to.

"I don't have to justify myself to you or anyone else." Kurenai spat. "Only the Hokage has the right to know my reasons, and he already approved my resignation from Team Eight. I won't sit here and be chastised by the likes of you! They may not see it now, but I did my students a favor. I recognized that I was no longer fit to teach them, and I would not allow myself to be responsible for ruining their futures! They don't need to know why."

Naruto didn't respond immediately, instead choosing to regard her silently, with his head cocked slightly to the side. Then he let out a derisive snort, making Kurenai's hands involuntarily clench into fists.

"Very well, then. If you don't feel you owe them anything, I'm not going to press the issue. But I will tell you to stay away from Hinata, unless she comes to you."

"Alright, that's enough. I don't care what kind of hotshot you _think_ you are, I'm your superior and you'd best show some respect!" a second after the words left her mouth, Kurenai suddenly found it difficult to breathe as a wave of killing intent unlike anything she'd ever felt before crashed over her.

She collapsed to her knees as her legs went numb, and she continued to choke and gasp for air. Her fingers groped at the air around her neck, as if trying to find purchase on an invisible arm to pry it off. Her lungs burned as her heart hammered away behind them, desperately trying to pump as much oxygenated blood into her muscles as possible so she could either run or fight, thus making the demand for air that much greater. Her brain began to malfunction, heavily distorting the images her eyes sent to it, causing her to perceive the world as a place were everything was blurred and bent out of shape. The only exception was Naruto, who was in perfect focus and stalking closer with a calm, steady gait. As he moved, everything around him seemed to bend outward even further, as if reality itself was afraid to get too close.

Naruto crouched down to eye-level with her and the killing intent dissipated somewhat, allowing Kurenai to suck in huge gulps of air, which her body wasn't ready for and responded with a coughing fit. Once it subsided, she found her chin being grasped to guide her head up to look Naruto in the eyes, which she swore were smoldering like blue embers from under the unnaturally dark veil of shadow cast by his hood.

"I'll respect you when you show me something worth respecting. Until then, and until you're ready to explain yourself to her, stay away from Hinata. It will be difficult enough to get her past this, and I don't need you ruining her progress any further by showing up and pretending to care." Naruto said, his voice as calm and even as could be. "If she decides to seek answers from you herself, that's her choice. But if she shows up on my doorstep in tears again because of you, our next meeting won't be nearly as _pleasant_ as this one. Asuma-sensei won't like it, but I think he'll get over it when he realizes that you were no great catch. You're on your second strike with me, Yūhi. And _when_ number three rolls around, you won't just be 'out'; you'll be _**inside out**_." and with that, Naruto let go of the woman's chin and stood up, then turned on his heel and walked right off the edge of the monument, dropping out of sight.

With his inhuman killing intent gone, Kurenai was free to try and get her trembling body back under control. What the hell was that? What the hell was he?! Was THAT what Kakashi had to deal with on a daily basis?

'Kami above, that man must have balls of steel...' the crass expression immediately conjured thoughts of Anko, which acted as a catalyst, kicking Kurenai's mind into a higher gear and bringing her back to what Naruto had said about why he was so hostile towards her.

Anko was the answer. She was that second thing they had in common; they both knew her on a personal level, and were part of a very short list of people who could make that claim. Well, the past tense applied more to Kurenai than Naruto, as she and Anko had barely spoken in over two years. Considering the Tokubetsu Jōnin's tendency to be somewhat clingy, Kurenai had been surprised when she became so distant literally overnight, but had never given it much thought. Afterall, they'd never really been friends in the first place; Kurenai just let her tag along, if only to have someone to talk to every now and then. And the fact that men seemed a lot less willing to hit on them while they were together was a bonus.

Why did Anko break off so suddenly? One day she'd been celebrating Kurenai's promotion Jōnin, and the next...

'Oh no, the party...' Kurenai's hands went to her face. She'd completely forgotten about that night, due in no small part to the amount of liquor she'd consumed before being escorted home by Asuma.

But now that she thought about it, she remembered saying some admittedly harsh things about Anko. Things that the purple-haired woman had heard. She remembered Anko leaving the bar like a bat out of hell, followed by Mitara Hagashi, a decorated ANBU Captain. Word of the incident must have gotten back to Naruto at some point, most likely from Anko herself.

However, Kurenai still couldn't see what the big deal was. Yes, what she'd said was a bit mean, but she was tipsy! That should've afforded her some leniency, right? And it's not like she said anything untrue...Right?

'Dammit. I'll have to track her down later, but right now I've got to get up to that safehouse.' Kurenai thought. She had to go confront Yakumo before she lost her nerve.

Hopefully, she'd be allowed to see her as a sensei coming to visit a former student, though she had never done so before. If not...she had her ways. It would be difficult, as anyone assigned to watch over her would undoubtedly have a good bit of skill with Genjutsu, but nothing she couldn't overcome. Afterall, the village wouldn't waste a truly talented Illusionist by having them babysit such a low-value target.

(Hokage Tower, 3:05pm)

Just as planned, Kiba and Shino arrived at the tower, ready to get some straight answers. But the third member of their party hadn't shown up yet, and neither could say they were surprised. They both knew how much Kurenai meant to Hinata, and it would take damn well more than an hour for her to get over it, if she ever did. But that didn't mean they were content to stand around and wait for her.

"Should we go get her?" Kiba asked, checking his watch for the tenth time since arriving.

"Logically, no. Because her not being here implies that she isn't ready for this, and forcing her to come along may do more harm than good...But I feel that we shouldn't do it without her. Hinata-san needs closure far more than either of us, and if Hokage-sama is willing to answer our questions, she has to be there to hear it." Shino replied, radiating more of his typical quiet intensity than normal.

"Then let's go get her. You've got one of your tracking bugs on her, right?"

"No need for that." the two boys turned to see Hinata walking towards them with purposeful steps. "I've got a better idea."

Kiba and Shino shared an cautious glance. They had seen _this_ Hinata before, though it was a very recent development. This was the Hinata who emerged when a fire was lit under the girl's ass. Confident, determined, unyielding and a little bit scary, this Hinata had a chip on her shoulder and something to prove. And when she took charge, there were no arguments.

(?, 3:15pm)

Anko took her time wandering through the forest on the Northern outskirts of the village. A far cry from her normal haunt, the Forest of Death in the South, but this was an area she frequented often. Almost every time she got back from a mission, in fact. While most would go straight home pass out on their nice, warm beds after debriefing, Anko had a different way of winding down. The walk to her apartment wasn't exactly a relaxing experience, what with the glares, whispers and blatant insults. No, that wasn't something she wanted to deal with fresh off of a grueling mission.

A nice, calm walk through the woods was perfect. Beyond patrol units, very few people ever came out here, and there was nothing spectacular in terms of wildlife. One could just take in the majestic scenery in peace and quiet. No dangers, no annoyances, no worries.

At least, that's how it usually was. This time, however, Anko was dealing with some troubling thoughts. She'd bumped into Hinata about half an hour ago, just after making her report to the Hokage, and the girl had been a wreck. She was desperate for some kind of support and direction, and had gone to Naruto apparently on instinct. Of course, her problems were out of his range, and the girls were nowhere to be found.

Anko knew she wouldn't fare much better than Naruto on the front of emotional turmoil, but when she heard that Kurenai Yūhi was the cause of it all, anger clouded her judgment. The selfish bitch was at it again, screwing up people's lives without a care in the world.

After what happened at the bar, Anko had taken it upon herself to do some research on Kurenai, with the intent of finding some dirty little secrets to rub in her face. She acted like she was some paradigm of humanity, a model citizen that everyone should look up to. But no one was squeaky clean. No. One. Kurenai had humiliated her and drove her self-esteem right into the toilet, without so much as a "Sorry" afterward. Anko was determined to return the favor, and found more than enough ammo to do so.

From ex-boyfriends, to mission partners, most everyone who'd spent any significant amount of time with Kurenai had very few good things to say about her. Everything she did was for her own benefit, and she loved to lead people on, letting them think they mattered to her. One man, a Jōnin, said that, as a Chūnin, Kurenai had dated him for the singular purpose of manipulating him into getting her on the list for a high-profile mission. Her teammates for that mission, all Jōnin themselves, said that she was nothing but a glory-hog, taking most of the credit for what were, at best, assists. They hadn't cared much about it at the time, since she had something to prove, whereas they were already part of the upper ranks. But when she immediately dumped the man who got her on the mission, whom they considered a friend, that put her on their collective Shit List.

Kurenai was like one of those prank candies, with the sugary sweet coating that quickly gave way to an incredibly bitter or sour interior. No matter how well things started off, almost everyone who interacted with her was left with a bad taste in their mouth. And though it appeared that she had mellowed out since reaching Jōnin rank, she was still prone to saying and doing things with little to no regard for anyone but herself.(9)

But even with all the skeletons Anko had found in Kurenai's closet, in the end, those bones never saw the light of day. Anko eventually realized that her petty pursuit of revenge was dragging her down to a level she didn't want to be on. The past was the past, and she had a future to look forward to. A future with REAL friends who would never abandon her or drag her name through the mud behind her back.

That said, something inside Anko couldn't let Kurenai get away with what she'd done to Hinata. She couldn't be allowed to just walk away, thinking she'd done nothing wrong...And yet she couldn't confront the woman herself. Anko has spent two years actively avoiding her, afterall. So, she put the idea into Hinata's head, convincing her to gather her team, track Kurenai down and demand answers. At the very least, Hinata would then see the prim and proper Jōnin for who she really was and be able to move on.

But the moment Hinata marched off with fire in her eyes, one word echoed through Anko's mind: Hypocrite. That's all she was, a damned hypocrite. Telling Hinata to hunt her former sensei down, when she herself couldn't work up the guts to say anything to the woman. Since then, Anko had been deliberating over whether she should intercept Hinata and talk her down, or just let things play out however they would.

'Not much of a choice anymore.' Anko thought with a sigh. 'She's probably already given Yūhi a piece of her mind.'

She couldn't help but chuckle, more out of bitterness than humor. Hinata had some kind of luck. Born to a family of hardassed nobles, then saddled with a heartless cunt of a sensei, and now being taught by two emotionally stunted and socially inept borderline sociopaths. God, that girl was going to be all kinds of fucked up in the future, if she wasn't already. Perhaps Kurenai had been right to take herself out of Hinata's life, regardless of her reasons...

Before that train of thought could take carry her any further down the path of uncertainty, the wind changed and a familiar scent wafted into her nostrils: Blood. Human blood. It was a strong scent, too; as if the source was only a few yards away. This proved to be the case when a man in a medic uniform stumbled out of the foliage and onto the trail, clutching at the nasty-looking wound on the right side of his abdomen. Strangely, he was making no effort to heal it, and that made Anko keep her distance. Pretending to be a wounded ally was one of the oldest tricks in the ninja playbook.

The man quickly realized he wasn't alone and Anko saw a look of sheer panic when his head shot up and they locked eyes. If he was an imposter, he was one hell of an actor. His eyes darted upward slightly, then the tension drained from his body and his entire form slumped in relief.

"Help...Please, they need help." the pleaded, his voice little more than a hoarse whisper.

"Who needs help?" Anko asked, taking a cautious step forward.

"Up at the safehouse..." he gestured back towards the dense brush he'd just come through. "It was a damn siege...They're after the girl."

"You're not making any sense."

"Just...Just tell the Hokage, he'll know." the medic rocked back and forth unsteadily for a few seconds, before finally toppling over as his eyes rolled back into his head.

Throwing caution to the wind, Anko dashed forward and caught him, then propped him up against a tree.

"Shit, that's a deep wound." she remarked as she got a close look at the injury, which was pouring out blood like a leaky faucet. "When were you attacked?"

"I don't know...Feels like I've been running for hours..."

"Bleeding like this?"

"Blood pills. I'd probably be dead four times over by now without 'em...Unfortunately, I took my last one about two minutes ago."

"You're a medic, aren't you? Can't you heal this, or at least slow the blood flow?"

"Wasted too much chakra fighting them...So fucking stupid!" the medic suddenly hissed and bashed the back of his head into the tree trunk.

"And who is 'them'?"

"The Kurama clan..."

(Meanwhile)

Some three miles away, Kurenai had found out about the clan's betrayal the hard way, and was currently engaged in a battle with one of them. A losing battle, evidenced by her barely standing, while her opponent had little more than a split bottom lip.

"How, oh, how did you ever manage to become a Jōnin, Yūhi?" the man standing across from her taunted.

Jinki Kurama was his name. A tall, broad-shouldered man in his late twenties, with angular features, narrow eyes and brown, buzz-cut hair. He was also a Jōnin, one of the best the Kurama had to offer, and had so far shown that he deserved the rank far more than Kurenai herself. He even wore a standard Jōnin uniform, sans forehead protector. And he wasn't her only problem; there were four more Kuramas loitering around, though they seemed to be content with watching her get dismantled.

"You see, boys, THIS is a prime example of what our clan used to be. A bunch of one-trick ponies." Jinki sneered.

"Why are you doing this?" Kurenai panted. "What good could possibly come of it?"

"...Why?" Jinki's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "YOU, of all people, are asking me why? Because there's nothing for us here! We were at the top of the hill once, and now look at us; completely fucking irrelevant. And you are just as much to blame as any of the stuck-in-the-past Elders who caused us to fall behind in the first place."

"Me? How am I responsible for any of this?!"

"Of course you don't get it. I pegged you from the moment you started training with us all those years ago; all you care about is yourself. Yakumo was our last chance, and she was entrusted to you. I tried to tell them that you would fuck everything up, damn near begged them to let me teach the girl. But they didn't listen. Thought you were a friend of the clan and owed us too much to let us down. But you did. You not only failed Yakumo, but you had her powers sealed away without a second thought." Jinki's visage twisted into a vicious snarl. "You screwed us all over, you worthless bitch! After everything we did for you, everything we taught you, you fucked us!"

Kurenai barely had time to react before Jinki was on top of her, his gleaming tantō scything through the air towards her neck. She more or less fell backwards in her attempt to dodge, but it was still enough to avoid decapitation. However, the loss of footing left her open for the male Jōnin's follow-up kick, which caught her right in the ribs and sent her rolling across the ground. Once she came to a stop on her stomach, Kurenai tried to push herself up, but a boot planted between her shoulder blades sent her right back down.

"You know, this little plan of ours has been in the works for years, Yūhi." Jinki said as he watched the woman squirm underneath his foot. "This was our 'Plan B' even before the Yakumo disaster. So when you sent our last hope down the drain, we were ready to go. It would've happened last year, but the masterminds behind it all were so focused on keeping it secret, most of our own people didn't know what was going on. So when the perfect opportunity rolled around, more than half the clan was away on missions. A regular comedy of errors!" he laughed. "I was so sure that we had blown it, letting a once-in-a-lifetime chance pass us by, and I was mad. But now...Now I see Kami-sama had plans of his own. Not only did we get another chance, but we even got a going-away present!"

"You won't get away with this." Kurenai hissed, able to turn her head just enough to glare at her enemy from the corner of her eye.

Jinki let out a barking laugh. "Did you really just say that? Nevermind how cliché that is; just how do you plan to stop us? Gonna glare me to death? No, we already have gotten away with thi-!" he was taken by surprise when Kurenai suddenly rolled onto her back, throwing him off balance. Unfortunately for her, he wasn't surprised enough, so when she lashed out with a punch aimed at his genitals, he still managed to catch her arm. From there, he pulled her up slightly, placed his right foot on her face and stomped her head into the ground with bone-rattling force. "Oh-hoho, you sneaky little shit!"

Kurenai's vision swam as she struggled to stay conscious. How her head hadn't cracked like an egg on impact, she didn't know, but she could vaguely feel something warm and wet on the back of her head.

"Okay, I can take a hint. No more games." Jinki raised his tantō, intent on taking his opponent's head while she would still be able to see the blade coming down.

A low, droning buzz was the only warning he got before a massive black cloud of insects burst from the underbrush. It may have been his imagination, but he swore the bugs took on the shape of a giant human hand and, quite literally, made a grab for him. Fortunately, he was too quick and managed to jump out of reach. Unfortunately, there was now what looked like a horizontal tornado coming right at him, and he couldn't move out of the way while still in mid-air.

But he could fly through a set of handseals and launch a fireball at the new threat, forcing the "tornado" to change direction instead. However, that didn't buy him any time, as round three began a second later, in the form of a Hyūga girl, if the bulging veins around her eyes were anything to go by. What threw Jinki for a look was the fact that the girl didn't use Hyūga-type moves, instead coming at him with twin daggers drawn and a relentless flurry of swipes and kicks. Damn, she was fast! And she hit a lot harder than her size and apparent age suggested, as Jinki found out when one of her kicks slipped through his guard and connected with his abdomen. The blow caused him to drop his tantō and nearly forced his lunch up from his stomach.

The Jōnin immediately disengaged, hopping back to put some distance between himself and the newcomers. The girl didn't pursue, instead jumping back herself to form up with her group. And what an oddball group it was. A Hyūga, an Aburame and an Inuzuka? This must have been someone's idea of a joke, but these kids certainly weren't laughing. And after that kick, neither was Jinki.

"And who might you brats be?"

"None of your business, asshole." the Inuzuka growled.

"A rude Inuzuka, there's a surprise." Jinki scoffed. "Oh well, you're just more lambs to the slaughter anyhow. But..." he focused his gaze on the Hyūga girl. "Where we're going after we're done here, I'll bet they'd love to add the Byakugan to their arsenal." his smug little smirk was wiped from his face when he saw the girl's eyes briefly turn from pearl white, to jet black, then back again. "I want Yūhi, you boys can have the punks...Boys?" receiving no response, Jinki turned to see all four of his fellow clansmen laid out on the ground. "The fuck?!"

"You really think we'd jump into a fight when your backup was right there?" the Inuzuka smirked. "Just because we're Genin doesn't make us stupid."

"While I didn't like leaving our sensei to get beat up like that, with them being so focused on you and your 'show', it was quite easy to take them all down at once." the Aburame said. "As of now, they've got barely enough chakra left to stay alive. They won't be any help to you."

"Heh, okay, I'll admit I'm impressed with your stealth. But you should've run while you had the chance. Not that it would've done you any good in the end, but at least you would've lived a bit longer." Jinki grinned menacingly. "You think you've got some kind of advantage just because you have me outnumbered?" he then vanished.

"Wha-" Kiba didn't get any further before a knee was planted into his gut, lifting him off his feet and forcing the air from his lungs. Akamaru tried to avenge his partner, but was literally smacked out of the air when he attempted a leaping bite.

Shino didn't fare much better, taking a right cross to the jaw that put him on the floor.

Hinata's not-quite-human reflexes saved her from the initial attack and allowed her to block four others, but she was quickly overwhelmed and ended up taking a powerful kick to the chest.

"Today's lesson, kiddies: Quality over Quantity. Numbers will only get you so far when your enemy is just plain superior." Jinki taunted as he casually walked over to his discarded blade.

Kiba was the first to recover and saw an opportunity when the man bent over to pick up the weapon. "C'mon, Akamaru." he whispered to the pup, who gave a low bark in response as he shakily got back to his feet.

The two partners dashed towards their target and leapt in unison. However, as they began to spin for their Gatsūga attack, something went terribly wrong. There was an audible popping noise and Kiba shrieked in pain, halting his rotation and flopping to the ground. Akamaru stopped his own rotation and looked back at his downed friend, but couldn't stop his forward momentum.

Jinki, now alerted to the failed sneak attack, sidestepped the flying dog and lashed out with his weapon. The animal somehow managed to twist its body to avoid being cut in two, but the tip of the blade still scored a deep gash in its side.

"AKAMARU!" Kiba wailed as he watched his partner hit the ground and roll like a ragdoll, trailing blood behind him, before coming to rest in a pitiful, unmoving heap.

"Shino!" Hinata called as she formed a single, cross-shaped handseal, resulting in three solid clones poofing into existence at her side.

"On it!" the Aburame nodded in affirmation and sent out nearly every bug he had in a vast cloud of buzzing wings and gnashing mandibles.

The clones charged in, attacking the Jōnin in tandem while the swarm spread out over the area, all but blotting out the sun overhead.

"Morons, what did I just tell you? Quality over quantity!" Jinki made short work of the clones, cutting off the last one's head and watching it erupt into smoke just ten seconds after they were created. But by that time, the kids, the dog and Yūhi were gone, and the insects were dispersing in all directions. It was all just a distraction so they could recover their comrades and escape. He'd been played. "You little shits!" he roared. "You think you can get away?! There's nowhere to run or hide! So go ahead, delay the inevitable and live your last few moments in fear! We will find you!"

(3:35pm)

Team Eight had found a patch of particularly dense brush to rest in, away from searching eyes. They had tried to simply make a run for the village, but two close calls with Kurama hunting parties canned that idea.

"Why? Why, goddammit, why?!" Kiba let out a whimpering sob as he cradled his unconscious dog in his arms, uncaring of the blood soaking through his jacket. This was all his fault. If he hadn't refused proper treatment at the hospital, his back wouldn't have given out. But no, he just had to be Mr. Macho, and look what it got him. He could barely walk, let alone run or fight, and his best friend was slowly dying of blood loss in his arms.

But at least he had a sliver of a chance, if they could find a way out of the mess they'd gotten themselves in. Shino had come up with an ingenious solution to at least slow the blood flow by closing the wound using a species of ant called "Eciton burchelli", commonly known as "Army Ants". The soldier caste had massive, hook-like jaws and a very powerful bite to match. A bite that didn't let up even when they died. Making use of this literal deathgrip, Shino was able to call the ants to him, use their jaws to close the wound and break off their heads to keep them in place, like sutures. In any other situation, Kiba would've labeled it the creepiest thing he'd ever seen. But this time he vowed to never badmouth another bug, of any kind, if Akamaru got out of this alive.(10)

That said, the pup was still in desperate need of real medical attention. Hinata felt she could have done something with her ointments, or at least cleaned out the cut and stitched it up, but she didn't have any supplies on-hand. In fact, none of them did. Kiba and Shino had left theirs at home, and Hinata had exhausted her supplies during training and never thought to restock. All she had were her daggers, and all they had were their "just in case" kunai, which all ninjas carried somewhere on their persons at all times. No Solider pills, no ninja wire, no smoke bombs, no flash bombs, no explosive tags, no shuriken, no backup weapons.

Add to that the fact that only two of them were in fighting condition, their _former_ sensei was still out like a light, and there was no chance of backup since no one even knew where they were...

"God, we're so fucked." leave it to an Inuzuka not to sugarcoat anything.

"Shino-kun, could you, I don't know, send one of your beetles back to your clan?" Hinata asked hopefully.

"I thought about it, but we're too far away. My control over them has a limited range, and my clan compound is well outside of it from here."

"Aaaaand we're back to being fucked."

Hinata gave Kiba a withering look but didn't say anything. She had nothing to prove him wrong, and the last thing anyone wanted to hear was over-optimistic bullshit.

XXXX

Aaaaand scene!

Told you there wouldn't be much action, but I wanted to end on a note that would set the tone for the next chapter, which will be pretty combat-heavy. Another plus, that SHOULD mean a quicker update next time around. More action-focused bits, overall, don't require so much detail and decision-making to stress over. They just "flow" easier for me. As usual, no promises, but I'm expecting to have a much easier time writing the next chapter than I did with this one.

(1) Naruto doesn't like ramen, but everyone else does. Has your mind been blown yet?

(2) Leaf Ranger, that scene was all for you, bud. I know you hated seeing Naruto in the doghouse.

(3) I may have said it before, but I'm saying it again: I don't care about Sakura's canon family. It's WAAAY too late in the game to even think about changing anything in the story, and why would I want to? I know most of you couldn't care less, but this is for those who've read this far, yet still think canon means anything to me.

(4) No disrespect to nurses intended. I've known more than a few of them in my time, and you won't find anyone who appreciates what they do more than me.

(5) It really is.

(6) What? A fic where Sakura's parents DON'T kiss Sasuke's ass?! Seriously, has your mind been blown yet?

(7) Think Hinata's training outfit from the anime, but in dark blue instead of brown.

(8) Ayame's just teasing, folks. She's not even a consideration for the last few spots in the harem.

(9) Yeah, Kurenai's a bit of a bitch in this story. I hate to say it, but she's loosely based on an aunt of mine who seems to lack a filter between her brain and her mouth. She's prone to making offhand remarks that get under your skin and piss you off, and then has the nerve to act like YOU are being an ass when you get mad at her. It's like she can't fathom people having different views and mentalities from hers. For example: Last month she was visiting and I overheard a conversation she was having with a friend over the phone while I was making lunch. Everything's going fine until the friend starts talking about one of her sons. My aunt says "The gay one, right?", and I hear "What?" through the phone. "The youngest son, he's gay", friend hangs up right then and there. Aunt looks at me like she honestly doesn't know what she said wrong.

She also does things without regard for others. Like, she'll come into your house and throw shit in the trash just because she doesn't like it or she thinks it's junk. Or she'll do some cleaning and put all your stuff into a closet just to clear off a couple tables, and not tell you about it. Or she'll go crazy with bleach and Pine Sol, leave the whole house reeking of chemicals and not bother to crack a window or five. And she thinks that shit's normal, and you're weird for getting mad.

That's how I've envisioned Kurenai. Sometimes she has no sense of tact and says hurtful things in a casual, unintentionally condescending way that makes people want to punch her in the face. But in her view, she's just making an observation, or pointing out something that should be obvious, or just telling the truth. And she'll do things in a way that she thinks is best, but never takes other people's feelings into account, just assuming that they'll see it her way and agree with her choice. With my aunt, I think it's a mental issue, but with Kurenai that's just her personality.

(10) Yes, "ant sutures" are a real thing.

As usual, don't be shy about asking questions. Unless you don't have an account. Any "Guest" reviews asking questions WILL BE DELETED IMMEDIATELY. I can't answer your questions if you can't be bothered to make an account here. I understand that there's a 3 day waiting period after an account is activated(at least I think that's still in effect), but if you frequent this site in the first place, there's no reason for you not to have an account already, even if you never plan on writing anything yourself. It's not like you have to pay for it or give out your personal information, or anything like that.

Okay then, I think that about does it for this chapter. Like I said, ask your questions, and don't hesitate to point out errors in the story. And I mean REAL errors, as in spelling, grammar, discrepancies within the story, etc. Not just stuff you don't like and want me to change. I'm not perfect, I miss things, and I'd appreciate your help in rectifying any mistakes.

Hopefully, I'll be seeing you guys again within a reasonable amount of time. No more of that half a year crap.

Jason Out!


End file.
